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your-name-is-jim · 1 year ago

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What a Kirk/Spock shipper sees in a Kirk/Female-Love-Interest story [PART 2/2]

Part 1 <- Please read Part 1 first. Part 2 won't make sense otherwise!

This panel is absolutely AMAZING and you all deserved to see it :D

So, what were we talking about? Oh, yeah, Laura just proposed.

As you can see, Jim is panicking not sure what to answer, so the first thing he does is calling his two best friends. There are so many things going on here; I'll try to mention everything I care about!

"Starfleet is getting a lot better at partners of equal rank working together."

This is an important part of this comic: apparently, in this story Starfleet isn't encouraging relationships between officers with a different rank. I know it's sort of implied in canon too, but it's not always clear if it's actually against regulations or if it's fine when the ranks are close.

As a K/S shipper, this detail just gives me an in-universe reason why Jim and Spock aren't considering dating each other in this story: a commander can't probably have a relationship with a captain. I mean, we already know from canon TOS that Jim avoids relationships with the members of his crew, so this just adds a layer to a potential forbidden love story between them. Yeah, I know this isn't what this comic is trying to do, but what can I say? Fans don't stop shipping something just because they learn it's not allowed in-universe… if anything, they can find it more exciting! :D

"We could teach at the Academy. Mind you, she laughed at that idea."

Oh, wait. Jim actually talked to Laura about their possible future together! It looks like he's thinking about them as teachers at Starfleet Academy. Hmm… this sounds familiar:

2277 — Accepts appointment to Academy faculty, moves into San Francisco apartment

This is from Kirk's biography in Star Trek official website. Between The Motion Picture and The Wrath of Khan, Jim accepts a job at the Academy. We see it at the start of the second movie, after Saavik takes the Kobayashi Maru test.

Wait, who's the other teacher here? :D

Okay, okay, in that era Jim is an admiral and Spock is a captain, so their ranks are still different, but except for that… They both teach at the Academy. And it's literally what Jim proposed to his love interest Laura in the comic! With my Kirk/Spock goggles on, what I read in that panel is "If Laura and I got married, we could both do this thing that I'm totally going to do with Spock in the future." LOL

Did the comic creators notice the parallel? Probably not. However, we K/S shippers have special skills for finding accidental implications about our ship everywhere, so here it is :)

"Your thoughts, please, Mr. Spock."

I said I had a lot to say about that single panel, so of course I can't skip the last line! A human woman has just proposed to Jim, and what does Jim do? He asks for Spock's opinion. This says a lot about Jim and Spock's friendship, and it's very sweet on Jim's part, but it also makes me think about Jim's love life. What about Jim and Laura's romantic feelings for each other? Does Jim want to spend the rest of his life with her? Perhaps the reason they don't talk about it (not even with Bones!) is that it's implied that Jim loves her and she loves him, even if they never say it. However, I still think it's interesting that Jim's discussion on the matter is mostly "logical".

Anyway, I swear I won't post every single panel of this comic, but Spock's reply is an absolute gem you all must see:

"I AM SOMETHING OF AN EXPERT ON THE SUBJECT OF JAMES T. KIRK."

(dkjflsdjlkdjglk brb losing my mind again)

Ahem. Okay, Spock. Noted. Also, wow, nice make up. Did I say that the art in this comic is great? Good.

"I believe someone of equal status would offer you the best possible chance of happiness."

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I find interesting his use of "equal status" instead of the more specific "equal rank". Status makes me think less of their official position in Starfleet, and more of how two people actually see each other. It's not just about Laura and Jim being both captains; it's about them seeing each other as equals.

Anyway, Jim jokes about Bones and Spock finally agreeing about something, and the conversation continues.

Jim's best friends are both encouraging him to marry Laura. In this panel, I zoomed in on Bones because his words are especially interesting. Based on everything we've seen so far, it looks like having a romantic partner when you're in Starfleet is a pain in the ass in general in this comic; however, Bones is pointing out that for the first time, Jim has someone who really understands. Of course, that's because she's a Starfleet captain too.

About Spock, I won't share the entire conversation, but I just want to say that as a K/S shipper who likes to think Spock is secretly in love with Jim in this era, I find his dialogue where he's supporting Jim's relationship with Laura totally reasonable. It's important to remember that this comic takes place close to the end of the five-year mission. We know that Spock is going to run away after that, trying to erase all his emotions in Gol. So, in this specific part of his story, I find pretty in character that he'd tell Jim to find happiness with someone else. That's what he'd do, regardless of his own feelings.

So, Jim knows his two best friends think he should say "yes" to Laura. What happens next?

During a mission, Jim meets his ex Carol Marcus. She is surprised to find out that Jim is considering settling down. This is not completely related to this analysis, so I won't post it, but I found interesting that Carol knows about every single woman Jim dated before he became captain (the only one she doesn't name is Ruth), and she even says "And that woman in 1930, what was her name?" Just… how the hell does she know? LMAO

At least Jim hasn't told her about Miramanee and Rayna (well, technically he doesn't even remember the latter), but seriously, Carol does know a lot about Jim's private life, even if it's clear she doesn't want her or their son to be part of it. (Not really related to this plot, but in case you're confused about the timeline: David is a child in this era; however, he doesn't appear in this story.)

Anyway, this is what she eventually tells him:

So, I like to think that Carol is genuinely trying to help Jim here, because the spiteful ex girlfriend is another thing I don't really want to see in 2020. I want to think that the creators meant well; however, what happens in the story is that, despite Jim not seeing himself outside the captain's chair, and despite his best friends telling him to marry the captain that is just like him… Jim keeps thinking about Carol's words.

He knows from Starfleet that he's going to be promoted to admiral the moment he reaches Earth. What is interesting here is that Jim could refuse the promotion and be a captain with Laura. This is definitely a different situation from everything else I've seen before. It's obvious to anyone who has watched TOS movies that Jim is not happy as an admiral. He didn't really want to be one. He doesn't want to be one in this comic series either (you can see it explored in Star Trek: Year Five main story). However, thanks to The Motion Picture, we also know that he will accept promotion at the end of his five-year mission. This isn't a canon divergence story: the writers can't really change any major event, so they have to work with what canon offers.

What I find interesting is that in this 2020 comic, Jim finds himself in the opposite situation he is in Gene Roddenberry's The Motion Picture novelization from 1979. In Roddenberry's novel, it's mentioned briefly that Jim starts a relationship on Earth with a vice-admiral, a woman that was basically asked to use her charm to keep Jim grounded. Jim could refuse promotion, but he finds himself lost, without his ship, without Spock, and eventually without Bones. So he tries to convince himself that a life as an admiral with a perfect woman by his side will be good for him (it will not; Jim himself will realize a year later that his lover was an "Enterprise-surrogate").

Now, I understand trying to write something fresher and more modern in this Valentine's Day special, but I confess that I find a little hard to believe that Jim would accept a promotion as admiral if the alternative was keeping both a starship AND a wife. Also, let's not forget that Spock and Bones are both telling him to choose the married captain life. So, while I totally get from a writer's point of view that if you can't change canon, you have to work with what you have, I'm also not sure that Carol reminding Jim that he's always wanted to challenge himself is enough to make him doubt everything.

I guess I can sort of see that as part of a bigger problem: Jim knows he can't be a captain for life; during his first date with Laura, as we saw in Part 1 of my analysis, he talks about it.

"I've been thinking lately about whether I could ever stop being a Starfleet captain. Whether I could ever want to. A friend of mine talks about 'infinite diversity'. That applies to the Federation, too. But here I am, only built for one thing."

So, Jim knows he has probably avoided the subject for too long. Carol is forcing him to think about it. And, more implicitly, we could say Spock and his IDIC philosophy are also making him think, even if it's not what Spock would have expected. After all, Spock told Jim to marry Laura (in the comic), and he'll tell him that being a starship captain is his "first, best destiny" (in The Wrath of Khan).

Anyway, Jim eventually decides to meet Laura and talk to her about his personal concerns. First of all, we find out that the two of them haven't called each other for six weeks. Laura is still waiting for Jim's answer, and she didn't want to call him. If you ask me, their lack of communication is yet another a big clue that perhaps getting married is not a great idea.

Well, now Jim is at least trying to talk to her.

Aaand that's how she breaks up with him.

I'm not sure how to feel about this. I mean, in a sense, Jim doesn't say "I decided to be an admiral instead of marrying you", but Laura definitely sees it that way. I think he was genuinely looking for help, but that just proves that Laura isn't the right person for him. Why marrying someone you can't communicate with? They are such a great team as captains, but it looks like that doesn't apply to their relationship. I pointed out other clues in the previous parts, and now we got this. It's interesting to see that Jim in this comic can have a normal conversation about his future with Spock, Bones, and even Carol Marcus, but not with the person he's supposed to build a future with. Unless something changes between them, it can't work out.

Anyway, this isn't the end.

A year later, when Jim is an admiral on Earth, there's a sudden emergency. A miniature black hole appears out of the deep structure of the universe (don't blame me for the science, I'm literally quoting the comic LOL) and it's attracted to Earth gravity. Short story: they're all going to die, but fortunately the Drake (Laura's ship) can cause an anti-matter implosion that will shunt the black hole outside their reality. Unfortunately, that also means the Drake will have to go inside the black hole. Laura evacuates her crew and asks Admiral Kirk to give her the order to proceed. Reluctantly, Jim tells her that he knows she'll do it, and he gives the order.

Now, please appreciate The Motion Picture aesthetic:

Okay, I know I could have chosen a panel with Jim and Laura, since this is literally their love story, but I did say this analysis was going to be biased, so here is Laura with her two closest friends instead; they would never let her risk her life alone! <3 They are very obviously meant to be a parallel to what Spock and Bones are to Jim, which is very cute to see. Now, Laura, listen to me: I know the three of you have different ranks, but you may die in a few seconds… And I just think that the few times your friends appear in this comic, you have a lot of chemistry with them, sooo maybe you should forget about Jim and just smooch one of them, or both… just saying :)

Ahem. Anyway, after Laura and her girlfriends disappear into the void, there's another timeskip. This time it's 15 years.

Oh, damn.

I said in the premise of this analysis that one of the reasons I decided to read this comic despite shipping Kirk/Spock is that, in my headcanon, Kirk and Spock get together after The Motion Picture. Until this point, this comic hasn't really gone against my headcanon. I can genuinely believe that Jim had another girlfriend during his five-year mission; it's not a big deal. Unfortunately for me, this comic has its last part taking place around The Final Frontier era. Dammit.

Well, it's just one comic. I read until this point; it'd be illogical not to read until the end, right? Nah, it's not logic. It's human curiosity. I know I won't like it, but I still want to see it.

Also, if there's something that I really don't want to see in modern media anymore, is female characters dying just to make male characters suffer. I can accept that in TOS show because it was made in the 1960s, but even TOS movies got better about it! Characters like Saavik and Gillian can have their own lives without having to die for a man's pain. It's not a coincidence that the writers had to kill Spock to make Jim suffer. Without digressing too much, I just wanted to say that K/S bias aside, I went into this comic hoping to read something different from another dead woman for Jim. I'm very glad that, at least about this, the comic creators didn't disappoint me!

So, in this story, it's been 15 years since Laura's disappearance (actually, it should be more, but I'll try not to nitpick, despite being the trekkies' favorite hobby :D). Anyway, the one with the whales The Voyage Home happened, and Jim is not an admiral anymore. He's happy to have a starship again, but he hasn't stopped questioning his life decisions.

We can also see that, 15 years later, he's reading the book Laura liked.

HOLD IT! WAIT WAIT WAIT! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? WHAT THE--

*inhales deeply*

(Friendly reminder to myself that what is obvious to me may not be obvious to everyone else, so I need to explain. Fine. I'll try.)

The screenshots I posted are from The Wrath of Khan, right after Spock's funeral. What Jim is doing there is reading the end of the book that Spock gave him for his birthday. He's mourning Spock.

In the comic panel, Jim has a new pair of glasses, because it takes place a little later in the timeline. But, except for that…

It's the same scene.

The same fucking scene.

I mean, come on! I can't even post the "they're the same picture" meme, because it's not funny if they're literally the same picture! Even the bookmark is the same!

The comic creators literally took a canon scene about Jim reading Spock's book after Spock is gone, and they redrew it with Jim reading Laura's book after Laura is gone. In a Valentine's Day special. Where Laura is Jim's love interest. They made a romantic scene with Jim and a woman that was originally about Jim and Spock.

(Brb, I'm going to chew a pillow until I calm down.)

So. Well. If you wondered why I thought there was something about Kirk/Spock in this comic… you have your answer. Perhaps the artist didn't think anything about it. I certainly do.

And I guess someone could say, "But Jim is still reading Laura's book 15 years later! That's true love!" Why yes, he's not reading Spock's book 15 years later, because he didn't stay without Spock for 15 years; he risked everything and lost all the most important things in his life to save Spock's soul.

Anyway, back to the comic. Starfleet receives a signal from the edge of Federation space. It's the Drake. Laura and her friends are alive.

Jim and Laura have a reunion after a long separation. Since they're both captains now, Jim thinks they are given a second chance.

Oh, whoops.

It's her turn now. It looks like being away for 15 years has changed her (as you can expect, honestly), and she's now glad to become an admiral. In this comic, that means Jim can't marry her. So, this is how the story ends:

So. Um.

This isn't a bad ending, but I also wouldn't exactly call it a happy ending. It's certainly not a happily ever after story. I'd call it open, maybe hopeful? Honestly, pretty much what I'd expect from a love story between an original character and Jim, so I can't say the writing is disappointing about that.

On the other hand, I can't personally imagine middle-aged Jim being so eager to start a romance again with someone he hasn't seen in 15 years who broke up with him 16 years ago. Perhaps he felt guilty about Laura's disappearance because if he had married her, they would have been part of a colonization fleet somewhere else and the incident wouldn't have happened the same way? Maybe. Personally, I would have found more believable an ending where Jim asks her to have dinner together or go for a walk, and then something romantic happening as they get to know each other again. But I can see why the creators wanted to bring up the marriage proposal again, just to close the circle. The comic is just 32 pages, so they did what they could.

"Unless there's someone else." "Not so much. I've been really busy."

Busy with what? Oh, right: Spock's death, Spock's body on Genesis, Spock's rebirth on Vulcan, the time travel (okay, that one wasn't 100% Spock-related), Spock's brother… Honestly, just say there's been a lot of Spock in your life, Jim, because that's the truth :)

On a more serious note, I guess that dialogue could mean that Jim has someone, but "he's been too busy" to do anything serious with them. However, as a K/S monoshipper I don't really like the idea of Jim being in an open relationship with Spock, so Jim's character in the entire scene in the end is just a big NOPE for me. Sorry.

That said, I found very interesting that in a few panels they show very clearly the "captain" rank on Jim and Laura's shoulders, to point out that it's the same. They can't be together forever, but they can have fun for a few days as captains. Because of that, I went back to the start of the last timeskip, just to check out something:

Fascinating.

This is a pretty detailed panel, where you can see the ranks on the shoulders of Jim's friends; the colors of their pins are also pretty good, close to the ones in the movies… except for Spock's.

Oh, please. Did you really expect me not to pay attention to this? :)

Captain Kirk and Captain Spock.

And unlike Laura, this is what they are until the end! The end of a very long life! Generations? What's Generations? Spock will eventually become an ambassador, but that's just a different job. How did Spock himself put it earlier in this comic?

"I am something of an expert on the subject of James T. Kirk. And I believe someone of equal status would offer you the best possible chance of happiness."

Did the comic creators just play themselves? I don't know, I'm quoting their own story here! LOL

And what about Jim's words from the same scene? :D

"Starfleet is getting a lot better at partners of equal rank working together."

Partners. Of equal rank. Working together.

That's literally what Kirk and Spock are since the end of The Voyage Home! Without an expiration date!

The comic creators made a big deal in their universe about relationships being better between two captains, and how good Jim and Laura may have been for each other if they had married as captains; and now they can't have their happily ever after because Laura is going to be an admiral… But even if the comic tries to hide it, we know there is a captain in Jim's life. And to make things better, Jim lost his admiral rank to bring him back. Listen, I'm a huge Old Married Kirk/Spock fan, so there's no way anything can make me forget that in the last TOS movies they're both captains. And there's no way I can forget that Jim risked his entire career (and everything else!) for Spock, and that's literally why he's not an admiral anymore.

This is almost ironic in this Valentine's Day comic. If it hadn't been for Spock, Jim would have still been an admiral, and he could have married Laura. Whoops. Too bad.

Speaking of admirals, I didn't notice it at first, but there's also something about this line Laura says in the last panel I posted…

"And don't you dare 'Admiral' me."

Ah, yes, a typical thing you tell someone you're planning to have sex with. Right, Laura? Agreed :)

Honestly, at this point I should just stop checking this comic, because I wonder if I'd just end up finding a Kirk/Spock version of every Kirk/Laura Rhone line LOL

By the way, I have other thoughts to share now that the story is over, but there's one more thing first. Do you remember the last panels of the comic? Middle-aged Jim and Laura kiss; END.

Okay. After that, the comic has a picture of the cover, with Jim and Laura kissing when they're younger.

And then it has this:

dklsfjlskjflskjlksjlkdlkgjdlfgsnfjekniuwanf LISTEN, HOW--

Just how am I even supposed to say anything that makes sense about this…??? I'm just… I can't…

Okay. So. We're talking about a Valentine's Day comic. It makes sense for it to include a cute Valentine card. I also get that Spock's iconic line has become so mainstream that it can be quoted out of context. And you can make parodies.

But… But… A Star Trek TOS fan can't really forget the original context of "I have been and always shall be your friend"? Someone could just not think about it, I guess… But, well, I know that at least I can't forget that this is literally Spock's line to Jim rewritten in a romantic Valentine's Day version. I can't possibly NOT think about it!

And I know it's very possible that the people who worked on the comic story weren't even aware of this extra, but the fact that I'm seeing this after reading about Jim Kirk's romance without happily ever after… Jim kisses a woman he can't stay with forever, and then there's Spock's "I have been and always shall be your Valentine". It's just so fucking funny. I can't. If I was feeling a little down after seeing middle-aged Jim wanting to marry Laura, now I'm laughing again. Thanks, Spock's silly Valentine card. I needed it! :D

Anyway, what did I say about this comic taking things originally created for Kirk and Spock's relationship and making them romantic when they're not about them? I can believe that sometimes it's a coincidence, but this card? Please… In a sense, this is the perfect ending.

---

Conclusions.

I started this comic with a question: in 2020, how do you write a story about TOS Kirk falling in love? I wanted to see this attempt. Overall, I think the creators did what they could. Laura is different from every other woman in Jim's life; they didn't kill her off, and they also didn't force a happy ending. I think they did a good job with the canon limitations they had, especially in 32 pages.

Do I believe that Laura could have been a good match for Jim in different circumstances?

As a temporary girlfriend? Yes.

As a lifelong partner? No.

Of course, I'm aware my answer is biased, but I can try to be a little more "logical" about it.

First of all, I think that the comic itself supports my interpretation: of course, like in every story, different people are going to see different things; however, as I already pointed out, Jim and Laura never say that they love each other, and before the marriage proposal their relationship is pretty casual.

In The Original Series, Jim isn't lucky when it comes to romance because the women he falls in love with can't really understand his nature as a space explorer. Sometimes they can, like in Carol's case, and that's why they break up with him. Laura is the opposite, because she's just like Jim. But here is the thing: I think Laura is too much like him.

What would have happened if Jim had accepted to marry her at the end of the five-year mission? They would have been both captains. On different ships, though. Sure, they could have been part of the same colonization fleet, as Jim says in the comic, and maybe it would have worked for a while. However, would they really have seen each other as much as Jim needs?

I don't know about Laura, but we see multiple times in canon that behind his mask as a starship captain, Jim is definitely more lonely than what someone may think.

First of all, don't get me wrong: in these screenshots from The Naked Time, Jim is single, so of course his attraction to Janice Rand is related to that. It's not the same situation he'd be in if he were married to Laura. Early in the series, he has thoughts about his yeoman exactly because he doesn't have anyone else. Contrary to his fame as a womanizer, TOS Jim in canon always has one woman at a time in his mind, never more.

So, why am I sharing those lines? To show that when Jim is always inside the Enterprise, he does feel lonely. He needs a romantic partner's physical touch. However, we also know that Jim does not want a relationship with one of his subordinates, so Janice Rand and the rest of his crew are off limits.

Laura is good for him because she's part of Starfleet, and not a subordinate. But is that really enough? From what I've seen in the comic, no. At the end of the day, it looks to me that Jim and Laura don't really know how to plan a future together. Perhaps it's because they're so similar, but they don't really think of themselves as a couple, especially Laura. There's Captain James T. Kirk and Captain Laura Rhone; they both love their ships, so they should get married? That's not how it works.

Their relationship is casual. Jim doesn't want to define it. Are they friends with benefits? Are they in an open relationship? Either way, when Laura decides to marry him, she asks around if Jim has someone else, and only after that she asks him. Jim, on the other hand, doesn't talk to her for six weeks after her proposal. He talks to Spock and Bones immediately, but not to her. He even talks to Carol first.

Then, when Jim finally tries to talk to her about his problems, she doesn't listen. Their lack of communication is the cause of their break up.

16 years later, what we see is even worse. It's obvious that Laura has just different priorities. Maybe it's because of what happened to her lost in space, but I'm not sure. If they had married at the end of the five-year mission, would have Laura always refused a promotion to admiral? Would she have tried to get a promotion with Jim? Based on what we see in this comic, it doesn't look likely to me.

Now, as I said, different people are going to see different things, so I'm sure that someone really invested in this romance can imagine that Jim and Laura are really meant to be, and they can get their happy ending after their retirement, or in other ways. However, I admit that Jim and Laura's huge communication issues make hard to me to picture a long happy relationship between them. They should both try to get better, but in those 32 pages there was no hint towards that direction.

There's another thing that makes really hard to find any love interest for Jim as a plausible "happily ever after" option: the stakes. I know that it's just a single comic, so the creators had to focus on a few things; however, I couldn't help but notice that Jim and Laura never really save each other from dangerous situations. They work together as a team, and Jim watches Laura disappearing into the void, but does he do anything about it? Does he try to reach her inside her ship before she disappears into the black hole? Does he try to bring her back from the void? No, he doesn't.

In TOS show and movies, Jim Kirk risks so much for his crew and his ship that a Star Trek fan can't believe that a new woman is the love of his life, unless Jim is willing to do for her everything he does for his friends. And honestly, after The Search for Spock… how can he even come close to do that?

And it's not just about Jim's actions. There's his language too. At the start of the third movie, Jim refers to Spock as "the noblest part of myself". What could he say about a love interest that is as deep as this?

Let's be honest here: the reason it's so hard to write a story about Jim Kirk's true love is that the real love story for him has already been written. You may not see it romantically, but Kirk and Spock's story is absolutely a love story. And when a character has someone he loves so deeply, it's not easy to convince the audience that he could have someone new to love as deeply. In Jim's case, the combination of his personality and his canon life makes it almost impossible.

Anyway, before I end up not so accidentally turning this analysis into a complete Kirk/Spock ship manifesto, I'm just going to mention one silly thing about the Valentine's Day comic. Please, don't take it too seriously, I'm half-joking :)

So, there are two kiss scenes in the story: one when Jim and Laura start to spend a lot of free time together, and one in the last panel. Well, I can't believe Jim isn't holding Laura's shoulders when he kisses her! That's just the basis of the way Jim kisses women! D:

Different Star Trek characters kiss in different ways; it fits their personalities. And because the rest of my TOS posts are probably too gay for these gifs, I'm dropping them as references here:

Sorry, but if Jim Kirk doesn't grab someone's shoulders before a kiss, it just kills my immersion! :P

Okay, a little more seriously: Jim doesn't always kiss women the same way; however, his "shoulder grab" is common enough that you definitely notice it if you pay attention. Because of that, I think it would have been nice to include it in the Valentine's Day comic.

After reading this comic, what kind of person would I consider perfect for Jim?

Well, my answer is obvious. However, I'll try to elaborate.

First of all, this story definitely convinced me even more that Jim can only be really happy with another Starfleet officer (or at least someone who's been deeply involved with Starfleet). He also needs someone who understands him as a space explorer, without trying to keep him grounded. And someone very smart, of course. These are all traits Laura has. But they're just the basis.

I don't think Jim needs someone in command of their own ship as a lifelong partner. As I said before, I can't really imagine it working out. Another starship captain would have their own goals and their own ambitions; that doesn't mean Jim shouldn't marry someone with specific plans for their own career, but I think these plans should keep the two of them close, not on different ships. Jim needs his partner physically at his side; if he could be happy in a long-distance relationship, I believe we would have seen at least one working out in canon. But it's never the case. Working on different starships from the same fleet would be a little better, but in my opinion not enough, unless it's for a short period of time.

And there's also the matter of his partner's personality. Jim is a natural leader; that's why he's so good at his job. I don't think he needs a similar kind of leader as romantic partner. This is just my personal opinion, but I believe they would just fight about everything they disagree about. I think he needs someone calmer in his life, not someone who'd encourage emotional outbursts.

More importantly, he absolutely needs someone he can communicate with. If he can't talk to his partner about everything important, they're not the right person for him. That doesn't mean they can't have disagreements or miscommunication issues, of course, but they shouldn't happen all the time, and Jim and his partner should be able to talk about them and make up.

In conclusion: someone at his side on his ship, smart, calm, trustworthy :)

Now, I know what some of you are thinking about: what about the "no relationships with subordinates" personal rule Jim has? How can Jim be in a relationship with Spock (or anyone else on the Enterprise) if he's everyone's superior officer? Well, first of all, I already said that after The Voyage Home, Jim and Spock are both captains. And before that… I think that Spock in the comic phrased it the right way. Jim can find his happiness with someone of "equal status". I think it's pretty clear, in my opinion, that Janice Rand and Spock aren't the same kind of subordinates to Jim. Just think about it: which members of the Enterprise call their captain "Jim"? Bones, Spock and (occasionally) Scotty. These are the three people I believe are "equals" in private to Jim, no matter their ranks when they're on duty. Because of that, a relationship between Jim and Spock could work pretty well.

By the way, another thing the Valentine's Day comic made me think about is that in TOS movies, Jim sort of does with Spock pretty much everything he does with Laura in this story. Not the same way, of course, but does it matter? Spock is his own person, he's not Jim's copy. That doesn't mean he can't indulge Jim, have fun himself… and try to stop Jim from doing dangerous things "for fun", as an old spouse would :)

Okay, perhaps throwing each other into the water doesn't count as dancing, but it's so much better :D

In conclusion, this is the way I can read the Valentine's Day comic as a Kirk/Spock shipper:

Jim mentions Spock on his first date with a woman.

Jim questions his life choices as he thinks about Spock and IDIC philosophy.

Jim does with Laura everything we see him doing in TOS show, except for playing chess (just the thing he does with Spock).

Jim says Laura and him are a good team in Starfleet because they had a lot of sex (is that true about other people he works well with??)

There haven't been many ladies or gentlemen in Jim's life because he's busy (not because he's not into men, apparently).

"Starfleet is getting a lot better at partners of equal rank working together." Good for your future with Spock, Jim!

If Jim and Laura got married, they could both teach at Starfleet Academy, something Jim is totally going to do with Spock someday.

Mister "I am something of an expert on the subject of James T. Kirk" Spock.

Also, Mister "I believe someone of equal status would offer you the best possible chance of happiness" Spock, which is actual foreshadowing of his own future status with Jim.

Hey, look at Jim reading a book that reminds him of his lost love! I wonder where I've seen LITERALLY THE SAME PICTURE???

"Don't 'Admiral' me". This is totally not similar to what Jim tells Spock in The Voyage Home, of course.

Hey, we're both captains now! Just for a few days, but isn't that great? I wonder if anyone else is a captain now, and forever? :D

"I have been and always shall be your Valentine". Totally not a Kirk/Spock line, I don't know what you're talking about! :)

Okay, okay, that's all.

As a Kirk/Spock shipper, I won't deny that I'm a little jealous of this Valentine's Day special comic, because I wish we could get something with amazing art like this where Jim is in love with Spock. On the other hand, Star Trek: Year Five comic series has a few scenes about Jim & Spock's friendship that I really liked. Platonic, sure, but good enough for my K/S goggles!

Thank you so much for reading this post until the end! I hope you enjoyed my analysis! Live long and prosper!

#star trek analysis #star trek: year five #star trek: year five valentine's day special #star trek comics #james t. kirk #laura rhone #spirk #star trek tos #star trek the original series #k/s #kirk x spock #space husbands #my gifs

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sniffanimal · 3 months ago

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"Help, I'm an adult and I'm realizing I can't read or write as well as I should/would like to!"

Good news! Literacy is a skill that can be worked on, even once you're out of K-12 schooling! Here are some ways to get started with increasing your knowledge of grammar, reading comprehension, classics knowledge, and writing! Feel free to reblog with more ideas/options!

Go to the library. The brick and mortar building where all the books are. Get a library card (free), and ask a librarian to help you find books on whatever skill you want to work on! I recommend the physical building because the quiet environment, going to a specific place to learn, and access to books that may not be available digitally are all helpful!

Use Libby/Overdrive! These are apps you can use with your library card to check out ebooks. If you're used to reading fanfic on your phone, reading an ebook might be an easy transition! Many apps also have font and accessibility options that can help!

Khan Academy is a free site that has lots of different lessons on grammar and reading! They're geared towards k-12 students, but can be a good place to start if you feel they can help! I've only seen the math lessons personally, but it comes highly recommended!

Find a book you read in high school and read it again! Follow along with SparkNotes or another study guide (STILL reading the book) and think about how you feel about the book without the pressure of a grade. Did you find it more engaging? Did you notice anything new?

Read a lot! Read long form blog posts, news articles past the headlines, books, magazines, newsletters. Read your voter info pamphlets. Read the transcript of a video instead of watching it. Reading engages a different part of your brain than listening!

Start with just one book, hopefully one you already own, and take your time reading it. Keep it in your bag/pack everywhere you go. change your phone wallpaper to the cover of the book to remind you to pick it up instead of scrolling. Take all year to read it! Take your time! Just always have reading be an accessible option for you.

Practice writing more! Journal, write longer Tumblr posts than a pithy one-liner. Start a proper blog, like on dreamwidth or neocities! Write reviews of everything you read and watch and experience! Write fiction, poetry, your memoir! Don't worry about it being publishable or having an audience. Practice just sitting and writing full sentences for the joy of it.

Lastly, since I'm running out of ideas now, look into taking classes again! You don't have to pursue a degree to take English 101. Some colleges even let you Audit classes (where you take the class without receiving a grade or credit), which can be less stressful. Join a book club, or start one! Even try picking out an English textbook at the library and giving it a read.

It's never too late to learn to love reading again. And to get better at it, and even write works of your own. It's not shameful to be a bad reader/writer, but it can be fixed. Happy reading!

#badger rants

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jorisjurgen · 5 months ago

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My Joris Playlist - explained

Yet another self-indulgent post going into details on why I picked certain songs for my third playlist. Even though the Atcham playlist explanation was a flop and that made me sad.

1. Mother Mother - Mamma Told Me

Self explanatory 💀

2. nekobolo (aka Sasanomaly) - Synthesia Ghost

This one is a bit hard to explain. Because the Joris playlist is not separated into child/adult or any other categories, this song's first purpose in this playlist is to, in a way, signify that while the first song is about his childhood, the rest of the songs are definitely about his character after the movie.

It has a mature but vulnerable sound, and expresses a deep, but vague, sense of dissatisfaction with the entirety of one's life — and an inability to express it less vaguely. He hates Kerubim so much.

3. Inabakumori - Kimi ni Kaikisen

This is my top "Joris in Huppermage Academy" song. But also general teenage Joris song. I don't think the king of being homeschooled is good in traditional learning environments.

4. Inabakumori - Secret Elementary School Student

It's a song about not wanting to grow up, "My dream job is to be an elementary school student."

I think something Joris is mentally ill about is wanting to be a child but wanting to be an adult but wanting to be a child. It's a dichotomy he has been trapped in for six centuries.

There are also some lyrics that make me think of the dichotomy of hating and loving Kerubim, during the chorus. Hehe.

5. R.I.P - I'll Throw My Emotions Away

This song is definitely about Adult Joris in his "everyone around me is dying of old age" era lmaooo.

The "you" and "he" in this song is Kerubim though (and a little bit of Atcham, but he has a normal, healthy, and supportive relationship with Atcham, so 99% of this playlist is not applicable to him). I think Joris will stub his toe and think "FUCKING KERIBIM CREPIN."

6. PowaPowaP - Can't Even Age Normally

Unlike Kerubim and Atcham, he doesn't really "age" so he had to come to terms with immortality bullshit not at 70-90 years of age after dying, but probably at 30-40 years of age AND he has to keep coming to terms with it.

Also he hates growing older, because I think he'd like things to remain simple - the same way that was expressed in the "Secret Elementary School Student"

Basically, I think he really hates himself. Big Joris doomerism song.

7. Sohta - Stardust Girl

Years, decades, centuries keep passing, and Joris is just as passively suicidal and self-hating.

He just tries to make it into a good thing by applying optimistic nihilism.

8. Deco*27 - Coward Mont Blanc

There were some songs that referenced hating being a cruel person and a coward previously, but this one is the top "Joris knowing he's not a good person and feeling horrible about it." song.

One hc I have is that when Joris's friends - including Khan and Lilotte - die, he does Not visit them if they're actively dying even if they ask him to come; and he will NOT come to the funeral and he will not visit the grave for at least 3-5 years. There are exceptions, but mostly it's like this. And he feels SO bad about this. He's insane.

9. Meg Myers - Numb

We're progressing to more-immortal more-adult Joris issues with this one, and still there's a theme of him not wanting to grow up.

He's so desperate for approval of other people that he made himself into a tool for the Bontarian government and gaslighted himself into thinking he's making any difference in the world by participating in the system. Sad oh well.

10. Nekotanaka - Never

Once again, "Very positive sounding song about depression that is very Joris-core with him trying to convince himself he's normal and sane, using his love for Atcham and Kerubim."

11. K.Flay - It's Just a Lot

I'm fucking insane. In a way, yearning to be a child is about not wanting to become the person he is. He wants to care about people — he doesn't want to be cruel or cold. But he is.

Even then, it doesn't mean he will stop wishing he could be more carefree and innocent.

"I've done things against which I believe"

"It all amounts to no-one knows."

"I want to hold onto the innocence I've got."

12. Penelope Scott - Moonsickness

Imagine Joris during the Huppermage genocide. Lmaoooo rip bozo??! Rip bozo. Joris you are so fucking stupid why are you still Bontarian after what happened. I need to choke him to death.

I think the huppermage genocide was his first big political disillusionment induced depression.

13. Inabakumori - Heaven's Tears

More epic Joris self-gaslights. I think his thoughts on Bonta in the world are always "things will end well. No they won't. But I can't just fucking say that. So things will end well."

There's one bit of this song that is very Joris@Kerubim-core, and it makes me think of this song in the framework of "Joris's self-gaslight mental health preservation system is very much inherited from Kerubim."

14. Amanda Palmer - Trout Heart Replica

I'M INSANE. I'M CRAZY. I'M INSANE. This is THE Joris character song. This is his fucking theme song, actually.

youtube

There are so many layers of meaning to this song: on a surface layer, it's about the guilt that comes with the nature death: we are created to outlive most animals, seeing them grow up from little babies to adults in such a short time. And we are created to kill to survive and eat. The song's primary theme is the horror of hunt for the hunter.

Joris is someone who has been alive for centuries, and almost all of this time he spent in politics. He's seen and outlived thousands of people like Eva, Amalia, Yugo, and Tristepin. He's been friends with hundreds of adventurers that grow and die faster than he can blink, sometimes in wars, and sometimes because of Bonta.

And that's just normal, to him, for some reason.

The song's secondary theme is being unable to connect to other people emotionally; being a cold, distant friend. It's about killing people's love for you slowly, through ghosting, through silence, and feeling like it's the inevitable consequence of every relationship. Just like the relationship between predator and prey. And being just as condescending towards the people involved.

A very resigned position of doom towards every relationship that is in any way positive.

15. Mitski - Washing Machine Heart

This song was one of the three contributing factors to Fragile, handle with care being written.

Big Kerubim&Joris win.

16. Mitski - Working For The Knife

He used to want to be a photographer, an adventurer, an artist, a good person.

But he's working for the knife. :)

17. Mitski - Crack Baby

Another evil Kerubim&Joris win.

Petition to Kill Kerubim Crepin. Together we can explode the feline child neglector.

18. Ferry - The Mill

This (checks notes) song from a plot driven vocaloid song series really suits Joris. Instead of vulnerable emotions of love, I think this is a good "how Joris feels while travelling with Atcham and Kerubim" song, as well as a good "Joris in his usual mental state (repression)" song.

It also questions a lot of things I already talked about: his arrogance in trying to lead people despite being a mess, his reluctance to let go of his position in Bonta despite knowing that Bonta isn't really perfect; and his feelings on Keke and Atch.

"Oh, it's nothing new, the visionless leading the blind; It's easy to say "why don't you leave it all behind"; And this moral compass is forever misaligned;

All I need is that you'll be here by my side. But you can never know that; "Too strong to die" — or was it me again?"

19. Mother Mother - Body of Years

A very beautiful song about the process of someone rotting and turning to dust. Man I hope Joris doesn't have 47573838 dead friends.

It's also a song about wanting to make a mark on the world - and I really think it applies to Joris. Out beloved idiot idealist.

20. Mitski - Me and My Husband

Kerubim&Joris ass song.

I'm going to walk into the sea.

It's such a depressing song that just resigns to "I have nothing going for me, except for him."

21. weevildoing - Caliber Girl

Joris Quit Politics and be Reborn as a Lotus Flower. It's the right thing to do.

(This is a song about overworking overtime overnight overday overweek on your 10 hour shift IT job because Surely It's The Proper and Adult Thing To Do To Be Respected And Perfect And Responsible, and Make a Difference and Change The World. It is the right way, right? Right..!?)

"No meditation, medication, no doctor, no therapist; could cure me of the condition of the world that I have to live in; Working on my rest days. Never productive enough; Even on my best days. Will it ever be enough?"

22. Inabakumori - Rainy Boots

Another "yearning for the simplicity of being a child" type song. Hehe. It's really about trying to do things that used to make you happy when you were young, and it just not feeling the same...

Also, I think at this point in the playlist, the Ogrest's Chaos has probably happened. I think he got pretty mentally ill during those years and clung to Atcham and Kerubim extra hard.

23. Inabakumori - Float Play

The same exact motifs and themes as the last song - trying to return to a more innocent time by doing something you used to, and it not feeling the same.

But it differs in being more aggressive at reclaiming that feeling - begging the person the song is being sang to, "you" to bring this feeling back. In a way it feels like a Joris&Kerubim song.

"A pacifist until yesterday...!"

"Starting today, I'm a victim."

24. Inabakumori - Sink Tank

[hacks up blood] hes been living with his dad, who neglected him to the point of 20 menta illnesses, for 600 years.

The "you" in this song is absolutely Kerubim.

25. Inabakumori - Hello Marina (Will Stetson cover)

IM CRAZY IM CRAZY IM FUCKING INSANE IM CRAZY. This is THE Joris&Kerubim&Atcham song. It's so loving and bitter.

"That scar that you see? It bound what we'd be — you gouged it in me! So, they remain, every ache binding us will stay."

26. Mafumafu - Hated by Life Itself

Big breakthrough in this playlist: the first Joriscore anti-doomerism song.

It's about Not wanting to kill yourself, and violently so - despite knowing that the world is Shit. It's hard to explain because the lyrics of the song are so fast and so dense with many themes, many of which fit him!

27. Pomme - Nelly

Listening to this song, before I kew that this song is about a writer, I thought "this reminds me of my mom," which turned into "this reminds me of Joris and Kerubim" which turned into mental illness.

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When divorced of it's (sad, beautiful, very meaningful) context as a song about a wonderful writer, it can make for a good song about loving your mentally ill single parent who neglected and parentified you into having 20 mental illnesses and is your best friend?

Anyway this song is the Second Contributing Factor in the writing if the fic Fragile, handle with care. (And the third one is on the Kerubim playlist.)

28. Majima Yulo - Is This Kamaboko? Mahoro? Makoto? (Less Than Truth)

IM INSANE. This is the second Joris theme song. Joris self-gaslight stays winning!!! Every Joris fan owes it to themselves to give it a listen.

youtube

The happiest sounding song to ever say shit like "I'm talentless and powerless + GOD I LOVE CODEPENDENCY + I have 99999 regrets + I root out the sadness I feel for every tragedy + I really wish I wasn't witnessing history being made and I don't want to be alive during most of the ages! + I want to throw up."

29. Flëur - Be My Raison D'Etre

I really, really wish all english sub videos for Fleur songs weren't Yandere Simulator themed. Genuine anguish. Vile slurs omitted.

The thing about Joris is that all he has is Atcham and Kerubim, and they've been there all his life, and no matter how chill he acts, he IS needy about it, and it IS poisoning his brain.

30. Mitski - Happy

[instead of explaining anything, I pull out an image of Kerubim and Joris cannibalizing one another, from my artblog @atchamcrepin]

does this make sense.

31. Iyowa - Leave you on The Back of the Earth

[points once more to the art of Kerubim and Joris cannibalizing one another]

i actually drew it while listening to this but the lyrics on the last song were more striking:)

Imagine being a child and you were adopted by the guy who killed your mom and he had the audacity to neglect you to the point of developing 20 mental illnesses. AND neither of you can die or escape your relationship.

Also this song has a lot of cat puns and Nyas

32. Ano - Chu, Tayousei

[REDACTED]

Also this is the third song in the "I listened to it wile drawing Joris&Kerubim cannibalism." and —

[REDACTED]

Anyway, what I'm talking about is: Joris feels a mixture of hate and love towards the man, and he both wants to be his own person and just Be Told what to do by His Dad. This song literally going "vomit kiss! Vomit kiss!" Is so "positive feelings mixed with negative" it's crazy.

Also I do think Joris kind of disgusts himself with his own desire to Not be his own person (hes an adult man and it's weird to live with his dad for centuries and—) as well as his mixed emotions towards Kerubim (the man doesn't deserve to have all this baggage pointed towards him) which too, is kinda reflected by the vomit part of the song.

It's very manic.

33. Hanyuu Maigo - onomatopoeia

A less insane "joris hates and loves kerubim" song.

34. Mitski - Love me More

Man i dont evem know how to explain this without reiterating the shit ive already said.

He doesn't have anything going for him save for two catboys, man. It's his main hobby and lifestyle.

35. Wowaka - toosenbo

This one's on the more "hate" side of the codependency ordeal. For all his issues, I think he haaaates it when Kerubim speaks over him and treats him, an adult man, like a child.

36. Red Vox - Better On The Outside

For a turn, a warm song about making each other better, and helping eachother heal. While the maddening and controlling part of the codependency is very compelling to me, it's not all gloom and doom with the jurgencrepins! (Especially when taking Atcham into account XD)

37. Mili - 奶水 (Milk)

RISE UP FOR THE CREPINJURGENITE NATIONAL ANTHEM.

youtube

The knowledge of this song is required for all Joris, Kerubim, and Atcham fans because it's our fucking catboyliker national anthem and flag.

We romanticising caramelizing mythologizing idealizing codependency-to-the-point-of-becoming-a-singular-being in this mothafucka!!! Get your sensitive ass back to wakfu series fandom!!

38. itoki hana - as you are

Another song that portrays the good side of the trio's relationship. They're cringe losers, ugly, and morally ambiguous failures... TOGETHER! And they LOVE each other for it!!!! Fuck!!!!!!!!!!

(singable translation by the fansubber known as "toby fox". Idk who he is but the subs are cool!) -

"I'm really not — the savior you wished I'd be; the hero you said you always saw in me"

"I know that I can't, so don't be surprised; Just hope the one I am 's still the one you love."

39. Hanyuu Maigo - Thank You, Emptiness

It's a very optimistic song, and I don't like ending my playlists on a sad note if the character has a good ending or isn't dead yet. I think that by 600 years of age, Joris has found some meaning in death and life.

40. Flëur - Someone

One of the only english subbed Fleur songs that don't have Yandere Simulator art on the sub videos 💀😭

It's about being forced to care for someone — and growing to love caring about them. While it is unfortunate that Joris's childhood was... yknow, who are we to deny him the right to Enjoy parentification and want to call himself Kerubim's dad?

"he needs to move away from his father and live alone and a conventional romantic relationship with some random character he interacted with once in canon even though he would never fucking do it and it makes no sense for his character"

"no! Independent life and being shipped will kill the patient."

"he needs parentification to live."

41. PinocchioP - Nobody Makes Sense

Another one of those "i think by 600 years of age, his immortality angst has calmed down, and he found some meaning and peace (but not Too Much)" songs.

42. 4o (tadanoCo) - SentO

Wait 5-6 more months for my animatic and then all will be explained. Or listen to it and see my vision.

But to be serious, it's once again about finding meaning - and aggressively. It's about knowing everything about your job is bullshit and useless and you're making no difference; it's about knowing you're a bad person, an idiot, and an egoist the same way everyone else is, and not caring; it's about knowing you can't change the ways the world exploits you, and other people, yearning to be able to do more, but mostly wanting to just live well with the people you love.

And it's about growing up.

43. PinocchioP - I'm glad you're evil too

Crepinjurgenite nation rise up for our second anthem.

Ironically, Joris has built himself such a stoic public image that the only people he really can be himself with are Kerubim and Atcham. And I think he likes it that way.

44. Faded Paper Figures - Relatively

This song is shared with the Kerubim and Atcham playlists.

The first verse is Atcham; the second verse is Kerubim; and the third verse is Joris.

#ro.txt #crepinposting #Youtube

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cleolinda · 8 months ago

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Weekend links, May 19, 2024

My posts

I’m writing and drafting, but haven’t posted much per se. I have gotten through both a hypomanic episode and a sinus infection; I’ve been doing a lot of gardening and may post some pictures soon.

Reblogs of interest

Alice Munro, Nobel Prize winner and ‘master of the short story,’ dies at 92

Artist lawsuit against AI reaches milestone; discovery phase could unmask hidden practices of 'exploitative Goliaths'

Hot Vintage Lady Bracket: Quarterfinals. Somebody finally said something nasty enough that I need to step back. Eartha Kitt Nation, see it through to the end.

That said, please enjoy the Diahann Carroll Barbie and back story that I posted. She’s currently up against Lauren Bacall, who I am named after.

(A story I’ve always liked: how Marilyn Monroe showed up for Ella Fitzgerald.)

Cousin Bartók is here to vanquish your bad day, and I needed it.

Also coming to help: This huge cat has been assigned to you. You must accept this situation and find joy in it.

Choices were made for King Charles’ official portrait: “that painting is going to weep the sequel to blood. after he dies charles is gonna crawl outta that thing like sadako”

Eduardo Valdés-Hevia’s photomanipulation art (read: unreality levels of spooky): the folklore of Asturias

Did you have an imaginary friend as a child, and what type? I had imaginary friends that were Type 1, and... well, I told you that story about my haunted childhood house, so... Type 5.

How old were you when the first Twilight film (2008) came out? Understandably, I was tagged for this: 29 and recapping it.

“were you alive when britney spears released ‘…baby one more time’? (september 29, 1998)” 42.1% of respondents: No. (19 and downloading it on Napster.)

“how many times will you loop a song if you really like it?” DAYS. (I can go weeks if I have a couple of songs to alternate in loop sessions). No, I did not realize I was on the spectrum until my late 30s, why do you ask.

HOT VIKING SINGLES IN YOUR AREA

AirBNB Host Cat guides you on Appalachian Trail hikes, or else

I think I joined the wrong Khan Academy

A cat being scuncht about it

Quackulets and Flamontagues

Do you have a cleaningsona? Are you a 400 year old vampire?

“I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again”

The real purpose of the small talk that people hate so much: ritualized “I’m a human too!!” contact calls.

Video

It’s cool that someone drew a cat using musical notes. It’s ASTONISHING that it’s real music and actually delightful.

This restaurant staff wants this orange cat to stop sleeping in the aisle. This orange cat wants food and also two cat beds for himself and his girlfriend. Guess who wins.

Tiktok jams: Counting to 100 in Vietnamese.

Do You Like This Song? #219: “Freedom! '90” and its iconic video.

The sacred texts

The Big Night Cat

Personal tag of the week

To celebrate orange cats this week, one orange braincell, except that I think the Restaurant Cat and the Trail Guide Cat are the only ones sharing it.

#weekend links #odds and ends #linkspam

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limeade-l3sbian · 11 months ago

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little positive post!

I haven’t been active in school or anything since very early teen years. This was/is due to severe mental illness that has deigned my what is essentially handicap status. I’ve had a lot of shame throughout the years, even now in my mid 20s, because it makes me feel like a severe failure.

recently I’ve downloaded this app called Khan Academy and it’s really fun. I went faaaar back with math since that’s where I’ve forgotten most things(besides very simple stuff, most math isn’t used by the average person nowadays in our day to day lives), and even though I’m doing a very low grade currently it’s honestly really nice to use my brain in such a way again. It’s kinda making me discover my brain isn’t nearly as “useless” as i thought it was. I had throughout the years told myself that not only is it too late for me now if I ever do eventually reach a healthier place mentally, that my brain was actually never even adequate and i somehow gaslit myself into believing I was extremely unintelligent? Even though that was not my experience back in school, my self esteem was so low that my memories from then started getting warped and i was making excuses and thinking myself to be simply lucky back when I was capable of stuff, even going as far as to make myself believe that it was partly why my mental health has taken a worse turn. Now i see I still am capable. I hope some day to return to school. I’m not sure when. Things are still rocky unfortunately in my life but I at least know now that my intellectual abilities simply needs to be refreshed. I know i’m not worthless/hopeless even if I do reach a better place mentally eventually.

Tears in the eyes! Very happy for you, anon! Thank you for sharing this! 💜

#ask

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twistingintomyworld · 2 years ago

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Numair Megris's Profile

Profile Inspo: @akaipepo and @oseathepebble (they are the reason why i can finally post this :"D)

Assets: @/alchemivich

More info below!!

Technical Information:

Name: Numair Megris

Japanese: ナウマイメグリズ

Other names:

Monsieur Tiger (Rook)

Tiger Shark (Floyd)

Annoying Carnivore (Leona)

Voice Claim: 宫野真守 (Miyano Mamoru)

Biographical Information:

Gender: Male

Age: 18

Birthday: December 26

Height: 188cm (6’2)

Eye Color: Golden

Hair Color: Burnt Umber; Black

Homeland: Desolation Wilds

Family:

Three younger sisters (Damini, Janya and Naira)

Adoptive Father

Professional Status:

Dorm: Savanaclaw dorm

Grade/Class : Junior/Class C (No 10.)

Club: Track and Field

Best Subject: Practical Magic

Fun Facts:

Dominant Hand: Left

Favorite Food: Tandoori Chicken

His adoptive father used to cook this recipe a lot when he was younger.

Least Favorite Food: Anything too sweet

He has a tingling sensation when he eats sweets, so he’s not very fond of it.

Hobbies: Makeup, making hairstyles

Pet Peeves: Small talk

Talents: Lip-reading; Playing violin

Unique Magic/Signature Spell — “You Can’t Hide” : Numair’s Unique Magic allows him to predict another person movements and spells for a certain amount time. The longer he uses this spell, the longer he’ll have to wait until he is able to cast it again.

Personality:

He doesn’t really talk much about himself, instead, he prefers to listen and likes to observe the little things about his friends.

Numair is a stoic and peaceful person. More often than wanted, he is seen as insensitive as he shows no concern for situations where others suffer unless he himself is directly involved. He prefers not to start unnecessary fights. However, if pushed too far, he will snap and let his narcissist and presumptuous side show to others.

Coffin Icon:

He is heavily inspired by Shere Khan, from “Mowgli”.

Notable Relationships:

Vil Schoenheit: They have been friends since their first year in NRC, and hang out together a lot. Although they have pretty different personalities, they bond over similar interests and like to have each other’s opinion on things.

Epel Fiemer: He didn’t used to be close with Epel, but as he silently disapproved the way Vil acted with Epel, he tries to put Epel's mind at ease and distract him from bad thoughts. After that, both of them started to enjoy the time they spent together. Sometimes, Numair adjust his own clothes to fit Epel’s size (hidden from Vil, obviously).

Leona Kingscholar: They used to fight a lot during their first year. I mean, two guys who think they’re the best being in the same dorm is not generally a good idea. They still quite don’t get along, but at least they’re able to have a somewhat decent conversation.

Ruggie Buchi: Ruggie likes to try to mess with Numair, since he knows that he is the type of person that Numair can’t deal with the most, but almost all of his tries have ended unsuccessful.

Jack Howl: They aren’t really close friends, but Numair secretly admires him for his boldness after knowing that he also went against Leona during the sabotage of Diasomnia.

Trivia:

His hobbies, actually started off just of him wanting to be a better older brother, to continue being the inspiration of his younger sisters even if they were already growing up to be in their teenage years.

As he is great friends with Vil Schoenheit and with other Pomefiore students, he’s often found in the Pomefiore Dorm.

Despite of his stoic expressions, he speaks politely and with a soft tone to everyone.

He knows people from other schools, such as some students from Royal Sword Academy.

(I didn't had any ideas for bonus icons or other illustrations, but I may update this post later~~)

#twisted wonderland #twst oc #twst #my art #savannaclaw #yayyy i finally posted him #after procastinating #for ONE whole year :D

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pokejstor · 2 years ago

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Letter found in Canalave City Archives

Letter found in Canalave City Archives.

Part of the Sinnoh Historical Society Digital Database

Professor Amo of Naranja-Uva Academy (posted while studying abroad)

Letter found in the Canalave City archives, presumed to have been brought in in old Jubilife as it mentions the city when it was once a village.

During my studies abroad, I was delighted to find many records of ancient Hisui-including the incident in which a tear in the sky opened up, and dropped some poor soul into the ancient past it would seem. This person seems to have left behind a letter, and I've tried my best to document it though the words seem a bit smudged-I am going off what I've been able to translate-oddly enough instead of the native tongue of the area, the writer seems to be more used to modern Unovan, or something similar? I'll have to investigate this further.

'Dear Professor,

Do not weep for me. I know, I know-the kid suddenly goes missing after going up to mount Coronet for the second time after dealing with some emotional crap-don't worry, I didn't do anything stupid. It overjoys me to say, it's quite the opposite-..I'm going home.

Which-brings me to the gut-wrenching reason behind this letter. This means-as much as I may want to-for fear of screwing with time and space, I can't bring my team with me-my beloved partners, friends, companions-must remain in Hisui. I've written down instructions-I hope you'll understand and follow them.

- Take King to Unova, if you can. I'm sure he would love to meet other Samurott and perhaps could even settle down, raise a family there-with others of his kind. He may be a variant-but I feel they'll accept him with open arms!

- Let Amor fly free-I feel that the age of Alphas are almost at an end, and I wish for her to feel freedom-perhaps seek out other Togekiss herself! Or-..Well, I have a feeling she'll be looking for one in particular...

- Kyoya? Let him free to reunite with his pride. I'm sure they'll be happy to know their son has returned a hero, and hopefully an inspiration to all other Luxray!

- Vinnie-i hope he'll stay in the village. He was named after a friend of mine, and as a Gengar he-comes pretty close to the real deal, personality and all! I feel he'll be a great watcher and caretaker of children-even if it may take some getting used to.

- I leave Khan to you-Infernape are a fascinating species to work with, and I think you'll enjoy seeing what these wonderful pokemon are capable of-I've heard in my own time they're wonderful companions for trainers just starting out!

- Arial-as a mere Starly she expressed intrest in the market-and I believe now, fully evolved, she may be able to offer her services at last as a delivery pokemon! It could potentially make exporting and importing shipments much easier, and I know you, of all people, might be interested in finding out if this could be useful to the village!

As for myself-I've made peace. I admit I'm going to miss you all-I hope a certain warden will be able to make the journey back home as well, hopefully sooner than later. As for me-Tell Rei I said goodbye, and I wish I could have done it in person. Tell the Commander that I leave my uniform as it should be-folded in my quarters should anyone need it. And-...should a certain merchant ever return-..could you tell him that I wish we meet again somehow? It may seem impossible but-well-I fell out of the frickin' sky, so Arceus knows what's actually impossible at this point. Just-..tell him that I wish things could have ended better.

..And finally we come to you. You took me in when I needed someone to lean on the most. You stood by me, even when hardly anyone else would-..Thank you, Professor. I know this may be goodbye-I'm not going to 'Sugarcoat it' as they say in my era-..I'm gonna miss you. But I know you-us dreamers gotta stick together! And so I leave you with something an old friend left me with.

If you have a dream? Make it come true. If anyone can, It's you..! Until then? ..Farewell.

Signed,

Your Student'

The date of the letter was too smudged to read-but this seems to be referring to whoever it was the rift spat out into ancient Hisui. Could this person perhaps be walking among us now, returned home as the letter suggested? I'll have to research this further.

#Article submission #Hisui

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indigosabyss · 7 months ago

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Writeathon Week 1: Roundup

Since I didn't want to clog up the feed too much, I'll be keeping talk of the streams to these weekly roundups. But follow my Twitch if you're interested!!

This week's target: 21,000 words Actual wordcount: 37,360 words Amount Left 'til One Million: 139,151 words

I have written. So many commissions. Updated so many WIPs. It's going great!! The full list of fics I worked on in these seven days is under the cut, but you can just read through my ao3 if you want an idea.

Start time for next week (17-23 Jun) will be 6 PM GMT+5

comm info | patreon | ko-fi

COMMISSIONS

(Patrons get monthly custom fics and are included in the comms. Total word count is included in the brackets here, but I've written the most recent chapters this week only.)

Where Do We Stand, On The Matter of Us? [N/A, 10k]

(DCST TsukaGen + QPR!SenGen)

At first, Tsukasa had thought that reviving Gen was a good idea. Then, he realized it was a fatal mistake. Even later, he realized that it was the greatest thing he could have done for the softly budding civilization that had sprung up in Japan. It was strange, having to stand by and know that all this was possible, simply because Gen hadn't stood by Tsukasa, all those months ago. To know that when he had been overlooked in favor of Senku, that choice had been right. Gen had already made his choice. So why did it feel like his hidden affections were being returned, as they crossed the ocean to America, and the enemies that lay there?

Me And My Friends Going to Pride As Allies [G, 2.6k]

(Ms. Marvel taken from my Pride Sponsorship List)

…They're all queer and think each of them is the only one.

It's Not An Odyssey If You Don't Know Where You're Going [T, 4k+]

(OMFD PJO!AU)

From a very young age, Stede Bonnet had displayed rather uncanny abilities. It started with the relentless harassment he had faced from his peers, whose rough shoves resulted in many skinned knees and purpling bruises. All of which disappeared in less than minutes. Of course, as a child, it never occurred to him that this was unusual. The glowing was more of a concern. On the oceans, he was free of judgement for his proclivities. But there was still plenty to be feared about the ichor that ran through his veins. So he kept quiet. Until he met another like him. Blackbeard, Edward Teach, and - few people knew this - son of Charybdis. Yes, like the sea monster.

Funny I Should Meet You Here [N/A, 5k]

(RyuuSen Childhood Friends to Strangers to Lovers)

Ryuusui met Senku when they were kids in elementary school. But after Ryuusui changed schools, they grew apart, their paths never to cross again. Until the Petrification Wave came, and thirty seven hundred years passed. Leading to Senku arriving at the land where the Nanami Academy used to stand. Two friends reunite. And buried feelings bloom into something new.

Playing A Mean Game [T, 8.5k]

(Post-The Marvels Kamala Khan transported to X-Men First Class) This one's on shaky ground bc a patron asked for this, but it was one of my own ideas. That's why I put it last.

Three months ago, Monica Rambeau sealed up the Incursion, with her on the other side. Tired of waiting, Kamala gathered up the Quantum Bands and brute forced her way through the Noor to get to her side. Except she gets deposited in a world that's almost exactly like the sixties of her own world. With the addition of a group of people she definitely would have remembered. Erik was just trying to stop Schmidt from getting his hands on another kid like him. He didn't take into account that he would have to keep an eye on her after that.

Personal Projects

(Recent Chapters restricted to One-Week Early Access)

You're Ten Billion Percent Not Alone [G, 7.5k]

(QPR!SenGen in High School AU based off Bloom Into You)

In a bid to secure the firstyear vote, student body president candidate Gen asks for Senku's help in the campaign, in exchange for a space to do experiments. What started as a flimsy alliance turned into a tangled mess, as Senku realized one very important similarity they both shared. ... They were same, until Gen ruined it.

An Overlord of Earth [N/A, 5k]

(Gwenpool x Hazbin Hotel Crossover)

When you die, the afterlife grants you unlimited power, as long as you have the ambition and the bloodthirst. Just stick it out in the boring, bland real world for your entire life, until you get to go wild in your second. Gwen had the power to manipulate reality to her whims, and she wasn't even dead yet! But her brother was. And she wasn't going to rest until she brought him back to life. So she was going to look through Hell, find Teddy, and everything would be great! Sure, the second she got there, she did a little murder. And then continued doing more murder. But she was allowed to have a little fun while looking for her brother. But why was this deer demon so interested in having her soul?

"I Will Always..." [G, 4.5k]

(dr stone canon compliant Byakuya fic)

Byakuya hadn't exactly planned on becoming a father. He felt more like he owed it to the memory of his friend to take Senku in. But Senku was an incredible kid. Clever and enthusiastic and resourceful and yet still needing a guiding hand to stop him from doing things that would probably end with him getting killed. And between stargazing and bleach, microscopes and marker ink, model rocket launches and actual astronaut training, Byakuya really started to believe that he could do this. Then the green light. Of course he was out of harm's way, safe in the ISS. But Senku- Well, there was always hope. He would always hope.

Starting With Saplings [N/A, 5k]

(Naruto 'Team Ro in Warring States Era' time travel au)

If you must fix something, you must start at the root of the problem. Except they already tried that and the Root was not very receptive to the idea. So... start before the problem even existed?? Except Team Ro didn't plan to come back to the past. They didn't have any concrete idea of what to fix. Most of them don't even think they have the jurisdiction to make such changes. But now, in the Warring States Period, they must do something. Because if everything they do has an effect anyway, might as well go down swinging.

The Last Surviving Member of the Archives (All Four of Them) [N/A, 29k]

(Magnus Archives; S5-spoilers)

Four separate timelines. In each one, only one person from the Archives team walks out alive. Scarred, changed, traumatized, but alive. Jon's alone in the Eyepocalypse. Martin lost his Jon into the Lonely. Tim has made it his mission to destroy any devotees of the Fears. And Sasha... Sasha has completed the Corruption portal started by Jane Prentiss. When she steps through it, she finds herself in a world where the Fears have won. And her three, long-dead coworkers are there too. Each without any explanation as to how this happened.

Vengeance and Sunshine [G, 71k]

(PJO x DCST crossover)

Ethan Nakamura survived everything the Greek pantheon had thrown at him, and now he could finally leave. Just him, now-mortal Apollo, the sun chariot, and the open skies. And then that day came. That day, when green light covered the world and turned the entire human population into stone. The gods were left abandoned, and thus faded. But the demigods remained. And they rose again. Against all the odds, Ethan Nakamura broke out of the stone by himself, and finds himself 3,700 years later in the Stone World, suffering from a re-opened stab wound and no idea what was happening. A lot had changed over the millennia. There were new (yet familiar?) gods, a continuous race of progress, and a leek-haired cannonball that broke every obstacle down with sheer determination. This was fine. He could work with this. The modern world will rise again. And so will the pantheons. ...Right?

#writeathon week roundup #gwen poole #gwenpool #fanfiction #kamala khan #ms marvel #dr stone #dcst #naruto #ethan nakamura #pjo #tma #jonathan sims #leo valdez #sengen #ryuusen #lgbtq #aromantic #queerplatonic

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omegaremix · 6 months ago

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Infinity Records, 2022.

Here’s some wonderful news from Infinity Records: they just received a a copy of Les Rallize Denudes’ Cable Hogue Soundtrack. Everyone knows the lore of this once-obscure mind-blowing Japanese psych / garage band. The majority of their discography is loaded with unofficial bootlegs and very few official releases which I can only count on one hand. How often is it that I come across their records? Never. I did, however, come across their post on social media about it seven days after the fact. A drive out to Massapequa was in the cards, and seeing that LP up for sale meant it would be a fun game of ‘winner-winner-sushi-dinner or too-bad-so-sad’. So did I win? You’ll see sooner than later.

Every one of the island’s record stores closed during the pandemic. Fortunately, they all survived and are still going. It was only Infinity that was in dire straits. They were in danger of losing their store as they were behind on rent. Their landlord wasn’t too forgiving (that’s never a character trait of theirs), so they set up a GoFundMe to keep it going. They only managed to raise $7,272.00 out of $12,000.00 they wanted. No one knows how they did when they came up short. All that matters is that they’re still here.

I walk in and that bell rings. I see at least 15 different people shopping in Infinity’s bins; the busiest I’ve ever seen it. It’s still their old rundown, disorganized, shabby self. It’s just as ‘lost’ like Brooklyn’s Academy but only larger and they could be related in ugliness and unkempt. You can find plenty of empty bins, piles of records, and unmarked stacks of boxes packed with loads of what-the-fuck-is-it. Deteriorating paper and the smell of old cardboard, dust, and decades-old wood permeate the store with a smell that I can’t pinpoint what year it originates from. It’s the scent that attracts older, loose-skinned men in stained clothing. But I do like coming here as they’re one of the least-expensive places selling music. 99¢ classical records, their $2.76 LP bins, $4.00 CDs, and reasonable prices on used vinyl; making it a great location that offers a lot of bang for the buck. Plus, everywhere you turn, there’s always vintage turntables, receivers, and stereo equipment stacked on top of each other to be found.

Cassettes are still plentiful in this day and age and are considered the cheapest and most cumbersome format to buy. They had two racks of tapes on each side of the store. About 500-600 shells on the wall with the usual pre-handled residue and smudges on its shells. So how many did I pick out? Zero. No hip-hop but what I saw was plenty of Seventies, Eighties, and Nineties pop, jazz, movie soundtracks, classical compilations, greatest hits, and and best-of’s I had no interest in taking.

Some of their best bins were the new used arrivals. Give them a few stars for carrying some rare jazz, folk, psych-, and private pressings I’ve never seen before. Want mid-Oughts indie and hipster LP’s like The Hives, MGMT, and and LCD Soundsystem for no more than $20.00 a pressing? They have plenty of that, too. Knowing me, I wouldn’t throw down that amount of money to own a title unless if it was absolutely necessary. It usually isn’t when there’s a physically unmeasurable sliver of hope that you’ll find it somewhere else for less - which has happened before.

I’d head on over to see the jazz / fusion stock. Of all genres I look for, it’s the most consistent, thrifty, and easiest to stock up on. Starting off, I picked Spyro Gyra’s Morning Dance thanks to John Tropea and a few appearances of Suzzane Ciani. Ask me how many times this year I picked up a Deodato album? Infinity had two of them: First Cuckoo and Very Together with Tropea (again) and Steve Gadd. David Sanborn’s Taking Off also have Steve Gadd but traded in John Tropea for Steve Khan. On a whole separate note, Hubert Laws’ Family featured an all-star line-up of his sister Debra, Bobby Lyle, Earl Klugh, and Chick Corea. I nailed my first Gary Bartz LP and got my hands on Richie Cole’s Keeper Of The Flame featuring Vic Juris and Terry Silverlight. I also copped (The Best Of) Jon Lucien, a familiar format released on Columbia where they give a greatest hits compilation to their best artists.

I know from previous visits that the bargain bin of poppy’s basement collection, Jello party, and The Best Of Dean Martin’s Greatest Hits had nothing for me. What I didn’t do last time was surge through their 12” singles section. Now’s the time to redeem myself. It was a joker’s wild of selections mixed with my Atari childhood, golden era hip-hop, old-school hip-hop, and even peak-hipster era. There was a Black Dice 12” featuring tracks from Load Blown never issued on vinyl (a sampler, maybe?), and both Lovebug Starski and a Sugarhill Gang 12” still keep the classic old-school hip-hop quotient going.

Towards the right side of the store were their used CD bins. Like a badly-played game of keno, it was all great stuff for the majority that wasn’t appealing to me. There had to be 30 to 40 columns of stock and I only found three to my liking. The Raveonettes’ In And Out Of Control and Metallica’s Garage Inc. that was part of the Selden-era (community college). I was surprised to find a Sacred Bones in the mix: Zola Jesus’ Versions. How many more -Bones releases must I have? The answer: never enough!

4PM approached and the customer count dropped dramatically. There wasn’t the crowd of three who hawkeyed the five-wide new vinyl arrivals section as before. It was all mine as I was concerned. Again, I didn’t care to spend full price on a new vinyl LP, but there were plenty of lower-priced ones I could be looking for. The diamond of the day was finding a copy of Buzzcocks’ Spiral Scratch, theirfirst-ever release of theirs. Only two 12” pressings were made and I happened to get a bootleg copy, but the $15.00 asking price was reasonably fair. That LP alone would be the most expensive purchase of the entire day.

**********

Oh, yeah…about that Les Rallize Denudes record. I kept an eye out for it but never popped up in my sights. For the avoidance of all doubt, I showed their post to one of their own who worked there and asked if they saw it. So far, no luck. They did ask me if I looked at the vinyl records on the wall, which I said “no, not yet”. They took a quick glance but they didn’t recognize it and suggested that I comb through the new arrivals section again. I did a second look-through but I still didn’t see it. I assumed someone else got to it before I did, you vicious bastard whoever you are.

I never ever seen a Les Rallize Denudes release in the wild. Those are incredibly scarce outside of Japan. They’re one of those bands of lore which myth became a verified legend because of the internet. I bet that once people discovered them that they started grabbing whatever they could find of theirs. Demand has exceeded supply in their case; more than enough that there couldn’t possibly be anyone else besides myself on this ignoramus island I live on who knows them. Apparently there was. I could imagine that Les Rallize Denudes record didn’t even last a day in the store. Only right before closing was when I was informed by them that someone else did grab it, according to their other co-workers on the phone.

I had only a few minutes to thumb through the small 7” / 45’s bins and came across lots of blank-sleeved singles. No hardcore, no punk, nothing. By then it’s already 5PM. I didn’t have enough time to go through the other larger 7” bins and didn’t even think to thumb through their $2.76 records. I declare myself done and cash out. I didn’t know anyone working there on a first-name basis, nor the kinder older gentleman who tallied up all the things I purchased, but at least he was nice to me and not an arrogant pretentious spiteful scumbag which is considered garden variety on the island. This year’s visit cost me $105.00 and change, which was give or take $2.00 away from my last visit’s purchase. It could’ve been more if I captured that Les Rallize Denude LP. Imagine how proud I might’ve felt if I did. I hand him my card, ran everything through, and I was all good to go.

Then I remembered one more thing: Infinity always has a small candy dish filled with Hershey’s miniatures, Jolly Ranchers, M&M’s, Dum-Dums, and other colorful jollies. No store on the island has one. I look down at the dish to take a piece and there were no more chocolates but plenty of Dum-Dums for the taking. One of their regulars ate all the chocolates before I got to them but I at least got myself a free Infinity badge. Look who’s going to be a little hungry on the way home?

Black Dice: Load Blown 12”sampler

Buzzcocks: Spiral Scratch 12″ EP

Deodato: Very Together LP

Jon Lucien: The Best Of… LP

David Sanborn: Taking Off LP

Spyro Gyra: Morning Dance LP

Hubert Laws: Family LP

Gary Bartz: Love Affair LP

Richie Cole: Keeper Of The Flame LP

George Benson: Blue Benson LP

Deodato: First Cuckoo LP

Lovebug Starski: “House Rocker” 12″

Robert Palmer: “I Didn’t Mean To Turn You On” 12″

Lou Reed: “No Money Down” 12″

Sugarhill Gang: “Sugarhill Groove” b/w “8th Wonder” 12″

Father MC: “Everything’s Gonna’ Be Alright” 12″

Billy Ocean: “Carribean Queen” 12″

Raveonettes, The: In And Out Of Control CD

Metallica: Garage Inc. CD

Zola Jesus: Versions CD

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