#keyword in all this is the first word of the post

[superchat]

childish and petty of me but i never rlly got into btr cuz i knew it was a musical show that was going to be pretty accurate with the music part and everyone around me was talkimg abt how hype the songs were but whenever i talk abt songs in shows i like it or talk abt my musical experience it just gets slept on

cannot blame anyone rlly cuz not everyone is into music that way or knows what to say but it still just feels like "oh its only intersting when a show does it" so it was a very lonely feeling paired with a kind ofbitter one

take those feeling paired with the wish fulfillment of btr where its "loner who cant communicate is given all the perfect situations to have the perfect friend group with the perfect common interests fulfillment" and it just left me feeling very sad

[dmclemblems]

if it's alright, can i ask why you like dimi/claude so much? like, the particular reasons you like them lol hope that doesn't come off as "how the hell do you like them" kind of thing

Yeee, tis fine! I feel like I’ll probably miss some of the reasons why I love them so much, but I’ll try to cover everything.

uh oh it got beeg

Things from the game itself:

I like that they hang out together sometimes (in the main story and in the DLC), when the lords don’t usually hang out together in their free time. Out of all the combinations of them, only Dimitri and Claude hang out together (with a story based exception during the DLC with Dimitri and Edelgard that never gets touched upon again even though it’s actually important and story relevant). There’s also the implication that they train/spar together in GD, with Dimitri saying “as ever” he has proven to be no match for Claude. During the “going to GM cutscene”, they’re walking together and talking together (a theme that Nintendo uses in their official art in almost every official of the three lords lmao).

Claude’s crest symbol is a moon, and Dimitri’s route is called Azure Moon (which is also coincidentally the only route they’re able to ally in because Dimitri dies in VW)

They’re a package deal in the game and in official art from Nintendo! Cipher promotions? Both of them got plastered on it together. The 2019 happy holidays artwork? Sitting down together while Edelgard is standing up (with Dimitri ??? staring at Claude with this oddly happy and dreamy look??? hey, Nintendo???). the artwork of Edelgard turning around while the lords are walking, but she’s behind the other two who are both walking together and talking? And... so on.

Another instance of “damn, how much time do you actually spend together where we aren’t aware of it” is Dimitri referring to Claude as his “friend” in the DLC to Aelfric. That point of the game is still very early on, but Dimitri doesn’t just toss the word “friend” around with everyone. He uses other terms like acquaintance, companion/companionship, etc. Rather than use any similar words for Claude, he just outright uses “friend”, and he doesn’t use that term unless he really believes it.

In the game itself, the start of it is Edelgard almost being killed and Byleth protects her, but with the other two nowhere to be seen for... some reason. When Edelgard is safe, suddenly they both come running up together and smile at each other like “lol sorry we got distracted by each other’s beauty but hey glad you’re both safe uwu”. Listen, it’s a tiny thing but WHEN IT ADDS up...!

Very cute moment for me when, if you’re playing GD, Dimitri takes a keen interest in Claude’s “schemes”. Most people consider his supposed schemes to be a bad thing and dread it openly. Dimitri is just out here like ooo tell me more, I wanna know! 

During the mock battle, Claude tries to tease him and fails miserably. By the time of the actual Battle of the Eagle and Lion (and Deer, wah wah), Dimitri is used to Claude’s teasing and jokes with him! Instead of a deadpan response where he just doesn’t know Claude well enough to know how he behaves, this time Dimitri is used to him and responds to him with a more “lol okay Claude” vibe. It’s much more apparent in the JP dialogue that he’s aware Claude is teasing/joking, but he goes along with it.

There’s a bit more of a rivalry between Dimitri and Edelgard, oddly. Even this early, he’s seeing her as more of an adversary (maybe to foreshadow, since the BotEaL had a boatload of foreshadowing) and seeing it as a more serious competition. With Claude, he’s much more relaxed and seeing their battle as more of a test of skill and mutual gain to learn from. He says he will “happily” battle Claude and urges him not to hold back. In contrast, he tells Edelgard that the thought of fighting her is “troubling at best” and is bothered by her “joke” (Claude jokes with him too and he’s much more receptive. Edelgard’s “joking” was more foreshadowing, but he doesn’t take well to it and that same joke/response happens again after the battle too). The direction of both conversations is the polar opposite, and he doesn’t feel at ease when fighting her.

Following that, his relationship with Edelgard is tense, and it’s a huge contrast to how he feels around Claude. That is, notably, whenever him and Edelgard interact there’s a wall between them (such as when she’s walking by with Manuela, going to their mission, and her and Dimitri have a misunderstanding that ends in a tense ending to their conversation) Due to their circumstances, their relationship is pretty rocky even during the first half of the game in BL. Throughout the first half of the game, this aspect of their relationship is static (until of course he finds out her identity as the Flame Emperor and it just goes downhill from there). Then we have him and Claude, where starting at the mock battle, Dimtiri misses Claude’s silly behavior and is more serious about the battle as mentioned before. Over time though he’s obviously learned what Claude is like, and during the official battle you can clearly see a difference in Dimtiri’s overall attitude when he hears Claude joke with him. This time he knows what to expect and is receptive to Claude’s behavior, going along with it and being glad to have this battle with him. His demeanor toward Edelgard, however, doesn’t change at all. He still doesn’t like the idea of fighting her seriously, nor takes well to her “jokes” and  yet seems to see her as more of an adversary to overcome. Around Claude, Dimtiri has more friendly vibes in both their routes and is pretty open to learning about Claude and talking to him casually.

Kind of a small instance but with a little more meaning to me?: them fighting side by side at Garreg Mach when the Empire invades. Dimitri was in his Very Nutty state, and even more so if you’re playing BL. He’s so out of it that Dedue has to direct everyone in his place. Due to the BLs knowing what he’s going through, you’d think at least one of them would be keeping an eye on him during the battle. Instead, it’s Claude he’s fighting alongside! Dimitri was very expressive about wanting to be the one to reach Edelgard in that battle, but the cutscene shows him with Claude, rather than rushing for Edelgard.

Gronder! Even though Dimitri gives out his famous, stolen-from-Miklan-because-Miklan-said-it-first-and-apparently-inspired-Dimitri-to-use-it-later-in-life line, “kill every last one of them”, his actual dialogue with Claude is very different from that (on both routes). All he says is that he wants Claude to move and has no time to talk. If he meant it that he really wanted to kill people from the Alliance or didn’t care about Claude as a person, he would have tried to run him down for getting in his way. Claude even said he wouldn’t budge, which normally would prompt Dimtiri at that point to attack him and kill him to get him out of the way. In AM Claude retreats when defeated, but Dimitri lets him escape and doesn’t mind at all that he’s fleeing. Because of that you can specifically clarify that Dimitri doesn’t think of him as an enemy, because he chases enemies down and kills them at that point (remember all those dead soldiers we were hearing about early into the timeskip?). When Edelgard tries to escape, Dimitri doesn’t just let her go without attempting to follow her. This clarifies that he sees her as an enemy, because again, he’ll chase down anyone considers his enemy. When Claude left, even though he can intentionally stand in Dimitri’s way, Dimitri won’t kill him even though he probably could.

When Claude requests aid, he doesn’t ask for Byleth’s help. He doesn’t ask for Seteth or the Church’s help (which is working with Byleth/the Kingdom and the direct enemies of the Empire). He asks for the Kingdom’s aid. This Dimitri centric view continues through all of chapter 19, with him specifically believing in Dimitri and his mentality.

Hurray Failnaught! Normally characters give their Relics to Byleth (for game mechanic/convoy purposes), but Claude gives him specifically to Dimitri. Since he plans to leave Fodlan and return to Almyra where they don’t fight with these weapons, he likely feels he has no reason to bring it with him. Instead, he leaves it with someone he trusts both with his family heirloom and Fodlan itself. Claude doesn’t trust easily, but he had faith that Dimitri would finish the war and restore Claude’s second home.

In the same chapter, Claude... somehow knows a LOT about Dimitri. Obviously he learned everything offscreen and we don’t know how or why, but not only does he know that Dimitri can still be reasoned with (Teach will talk and he’ll listen), suggesting that he’s aware that the person Dimitri was is not gone despite the meeting they had in Gronder, but during the “here have my family heirloom” scene, he tells Dimitri that the dead cling to them without regard for their own/the living’s lives. During the Academy phase we don’t have any indication that he knows what’s going on with Dimitri... but then, I recall them fighting side by side during the invasion of the monastery, so perhaps Claude started to put the pieces together if he was able to see the state Dimitri was in. Canon? Not necessarily, but it’s something I consider when I want to answer why Claude knows this stuff about Dimitri when Dimitri didn’t tell him about it.

Yes, Teach will talk and he’ll listen, but by then Dimitri had already  made the decision to help the Alliance- er, well, Claude. The Alliance itself? Hm. Claude? Yes, let’s go help Claude-- er, the Alliance, he means! The Alliance! But... but also Claude! Okay, I’m kind of joking. Kind of. A lil bit. By which I mean, Dimitri is very vocal about saving Claude more than he is the Alliance. Leave the latter part to Lorenz, I guess. It’ll make him happy and that would make me happy!

So, on the topic of him already making the decision to go aid Claude, not only was Claude correct, but Dimitri literally went to begin their march to the Alliance the next day after they recaptured their own capital. They celebrated and then the very next day he’s like “uh yeah sorry for this guys, but Claude wants our help so we’re leaving. Now. Pack your things. If you’re not ready in ten I’m leaving without you. Claude needs help.” I’M JOKING. Mostly. A lil bit.

They reach the battle destination and Dimitri is uh, very specific that “they will not let Claude die”. He only recently came out of his nommy nom, chewy enemies state, and he’s already over here like hell nah we ain’t lettin’ Claude die. I didn’t spare him at Gronder for nothin’. Let’s go, let’s go!

Claude, who he doesn’t know nearly as well as the BLs, “crosses too many dangerous bridges for his liking”. For sure, Claude does some risky things, but he’s not someone who is within Dimitri’s immediate friend group. All the same, Dimitri worries about him (a lot in this chapter, too) and expresses that he doesn’t like Claude taking these kind of risks (that could endanger his life).

“This must be one of your jokes”. Not sure Claude was ever really one to often make jokes that we know of? The way it’s phrased, “one of your jokes”, sounds like more of an inside thing? As in, “I know you well enough to know you behave like this”, kind of thing. Doesn’t sound like much, until I start adding up all the times they’re together/talking to each other. For reference, times such as ones I’ve mentioned in this post (walking to GM with Byleth between them and Edelgard, if you’re playing GW Dimitri implies he’s sparred with Claude and uses “as ever” as if to say it happens often enough that it’s a familiar result, them hanging out during their free time after the mock battle, them fighting side by side during the invasion of GM even though Dimitri insisted he was going to basically rush the battle and ker-slice Edelgard’s head off and show up at Enbarr with it in hand...) Suddenly it doesn’t seem so odd that they might know each other a little bit more than the story that we get to see lets on. Even if it was small talk, enough of that and enough sparring/fighting alongside each other would add up enough for them to start learning things about each other.

Kudos to Dimitri for being the only person in the game that gets a pet name from Claude. Teach is just a casual way of saying “professor”, and “princess” is literally what Edelgard is. Princeliness is... Quite A Title I Guess. “Princess” is dropped and Claude refers to Edelgard as just Edelgard in the timeskip, but Dimtiri gets a nickname update! Now he’s “Kingliness” instead!

Some Hopes ones (I shipped them way  before Hopes was a thing but these made me happy!):

Background similarities! In Hopes if you play AG, they talk very early on (before the timeskip) about Dimitri’s life after the Tragedy. To sum it up, he was being targeted by his own family with murder attempts and he was very isolated (one NPC describes it as nearly being like house arrest with how isolated he was). Even if you don’t consider Hopes to be too much canon with its character background lore, the isolation part checks because in Houses, Dimitri says he didn’t have any friends left after the Tragedy. He only had Dedue for companionship after that in the castle itself, unable to see his other friends as often due to them living in different territories.

Another similarity from Your Hopes Truly is Dimitri being paranoid on expeditions. As he puts it, he “can't help but peer over his shoulder lest an assassin lodges his blade in his back”. He’s literally paranoid of assassins... a lot like how Claude sleeps with a knife under his pillow. :’( They both worry a lot about having to be vigilant because they could die at any time. Even though Edelgard is also royalty, her trauma expresses itself differently and she doesn’t worry about assassins as outwardly (possible also because she has Hubert around, who would be more likely to catch assassins lurking around than the people around Dimitri and Claude). I’m sure she knows people will be after her because she’s royalty, but she doesn’t worry about it in the same way.

This one is more recent and Hopes based, but in AG the game decides to be Big Dumb and is like “nobody in the BL house trusts Claude... for some... reason...” but Dimitri is gung ho adamant that they can trust Claude. His portrait even switches to his smiling portrait! “I’ve never known him to be a liar” despite how little time they had together at the Academy in this game is a big amount of trust imo.

On the same note, AG is like a mirror of AM’s chapter 19! Claude trusts Dimitri and that he will show up to help. In AG, they need the Alliance’s help and Dimitri trusts Claude to show up without question. When the Alliance shows up and Claude isn’t there, he wonders where Claude is, and when Claude does show up being the smart little sneaky not-literal-bastard-because-he’s-actually-a-legitimate-child bastard he is, Dimitri is like :D I knew you would come no matter what. This man literally implicitly trusts Claude. Sounds like someone had a crush when they were younger... Now his crush is helping them and he’s all bubbly and excited inside... uwu... uwu... UWU...

More Hopes stuff despite the bad writing moments. In SB, Claude confronts Edelgard because they were so focused on locating Rhea that they didn’t even consider Dimitri’s motivations for being part of that battle. His portrait is even his upset portrait for them “not even sparing a thought for Dimitri’s motivations”, in his exact words. He’s not all too happy that they were so determined by their goal that they didn’t consider Dimitri, specifically.

Similarly, if you get the Arval chapter, Dimtiri worries for Claude’s safety if Claude tries to take the Church out of power. Despite that Dimitri lists off reasons why That’s A Really Fucking Bad Idea, he also includes that he doesn’t want Claude to be in danger, and their discussion ultimately ends with Claude saying “you really are too good for me!”. Claude, that’s sus.

Not game specific, but motivated by the contents of the game:

Claude is a very casual person, and Dimtiri wants that in his relationships (of any kind). Actually, he repeatedly asks people to be casual with him and doesn’t want to be treated like a prince. In no way does Claude treat him like a prince and just treats him exactly the way Dimtiri would prefer, without even having to be asked to do so. This is part of what makes me wonder if the reason Dimitri is so receptive to Claude and why they bounce so well off each other’s personalities, despite seeming so different in demeanor, is because Dimitri experiences those kind of informal exchanges with him that most others won’t grant him.

More often than not, even in GD, Claude expresses being an outsider. That means that even though the people around him are mostly/generally pretty chill with him (i.e. his GD classmates just treat him like another classmate and not the foreigner in the class), he still doesn’t feel totally accepted there. Likely, it’s the little things he picks up about them, such as Hilda’s negative comments about Almyra. They’re pretty chill together, but he’s Almyran, and royalty at that, yet she doesn’t know that. For him, that could be like, okay so she’s one of the people I proooobably should definitely not tell my identity to, like, ever. I’m not saying Hilda specifically is the only person he would have to be wary of, but the problem is still there.

On the other hand, Dimitri... literally does not give a fuck who is a foreigner and who is not. More than anyone else besides, equally, Claude, he pushes to have people from other lands seen as equals to those in Fodlan and wants them to be just as accepted.

Also, Claude’s post timeskip advice box:

What did these two do, share notes? Pass notes in class? Skip class and hang out in the bathroom while they skipped?

To be specific, Dimitri highlights all aspects that Claude guns for too. He hates that he’s been hated all his life for his lineage and never saw it as fair. Dimitri wouldn’t see that as fair either. Claude doesn’t think his lineage or bloodline matters when it comes to being accepted and what relationships he has. That’s also Dimitri’s line of thinking when he insists he doesn’t want to be treated as a prince. He just wants normal relationships. This also applies to Crests, where in which he doesn’t believe having or not having one should decide a person’s, well, anything.

Being two races, Claude has struggled to feel accepted on either side. Meanwhile, Dedue has struggled a lot to get by in Garreg Mach because of the prejudice against Duscur’s people. Even if some of the people of Duscur did do what everyone accused them of, they’re dragging those accusations well beyond that and treating Dedue as if he had anything to do with it. In Dimitri’s B support with Dedue, he makes it extremely clear to his own soldiers that he’ll have nothing to do with that behavior. He sees Dedue as another human being, as he would anyone else. Even though most characters don’t care what race someone is, most of them don’t actively try to fight for justice for other races of people being mistreated in Fodlan. Dimitri is one of the only people who will walk up to someone and tell them to fuck off for being racist, and mind you, if this wasn’t a T rated game and more explicit curse words were allowed to be used, I am quite positive Dimitri would quite literally tell those people to fuck off. He acts all upstanding and polite, but he’d also curse at someone who deserves it and is definitely angry enough to be a semi-big curser lol.

Both of them discuss faith with Byleth, too. While Claude doesn’t like the idea of praying to gods and often talks about how he isn’t in with the whole Sothis religion, Dimitri says the same thing, basically. In his Goddess Tower conversation, he expresses his feelings about “the goddess”, and it pretty much equals that he couldn’t give a flying fuck about her because she doesn’t help those in need despite supposedly watching over their land. He feels that she’ll watch and do nothing to help, not even reach out a hand to people who need her. Dimitri firmly does not believe in the religion that Fodlan follows, even despite literally being the crown prince of a nation that was legitimatized by Rhea herself. Neither of them care about Fodlan’s religion personally, but they both accept people who do and don’t badmouth her in front of devout followers. For example, Claude talks to Ignatz about the goddess and jokes with him. He doesn’t try to tell Ignatz he’s wrong for being faithful to a goddess that Claude himself doesn’t believe in. Dimitri doesn’t care about the Seiros faith at all, but he’s very friendly with Seteth and on great terms with him (especially in Hopes! They’re very close in AG!). Even if Seteth personally is not very devout (which is actually the truth), he’s still Rhea’s second in command. You also have people like Mercedes, who are extremely if not almost excessively devout, but Dimitri never puts her down for that. That’s how Claude is with Ignatz, and Ignatz is very devout. Basically, both Dimitri and Claude hate the idea of believing in the goddess of Fodlan, but they never judge someone who does believe in that very goddess. In fact, after Duscur, I’m sure Dimitri felt he could never forgive the goddess for not saving his father, Glenn and all the others who died there. Even if she wasn’t from a goddess of Duscur, she didn’t even attempt to save Fodlan’s people, at the very very least. It’s not a surprise in that sense that Dimitri isn’t devout.

In the case of ideologies, both of them even use the exact same word here. No matter what someone believes or thinks should happen, no matter how people think lands should be managed, neither of them feel like that’s cause to judge someone. They both feel that people can have different ways of thinking no matter how vast those ways of thinking might be, and still get along just fine.

This basically sums up both of what they want tbh, and it’s something they both strive for as early as the first half of the game.

Other aspects I love:

Other than that, I like to think about their personalities too! They’ve been through a lot of the same things and have a lot of the same feelings, so I think they would understand really well how to help each other. While Claude doesn’t think he deserves the treatment he gets, Dimitri tends to think he deserves all sorts of bad things. I feel like Claude could teach Dimitri to care about himself more and to stop thinking so poorly about himself. For Claude, I think he’d have “might get killed at any moment” ingrained into him, but I think he’d feel safe around Dimitri but also accepted and loved. Dimtiri is extremely straightforward and honest, and I think Claude would know for a fact that he can trust that Dimitri is honest about his feelings. He wouldn’t have to question if Dimitri actually loves him and if he secretly hates that he’s half Almyran. Because of how Dimitri has always been, I don’t think he’d actually worry about that and any worry that might nag him in passing he’d be able to tell himself is only a paranoid habit.

Also, Almyra loves strength! Pretty sure if Claude walked back into Almyra with a 6′2 superhuman-strength Blaiddyd on his arm that Almyra would be, to say the least, impressed lol. Not only would Dimitri be on par with their strongest generals, but if he got the attention of royalty, regardless of their feelings on that royalty, I think they’d have to take notice. I have headcanons about how the Almyran children would love learning from Dimitri and eventually run around pretending to be as strong as him when he starts helping them train. 🥺 Most of the adults wouldn’t like Dimitri at first because he’s from Fodlan, and even more than that a royal form Fodlan, but I think they’d come around after seeing how much the kiddos respect him and how kind he is to them. Even if they were meh about him being with Claude, I think they would start to respect Dimitri as an individual and not only appreciate when he’s around, but enjoy having him there for competitions, because Dimitri also loves being competitive and training.

You also get the silly opposites aspect with their homelands! Claude would be freezing in Faerghus, especially Fhirdiad. You know he’d be stealing all the blankets and be a Claude burrito by morning. Dimitri would have to accommodate him with lots of warm clothes because poor Claude would be shivering in full armor! It gives lots of room for cuddles and snuggies tho!!! !!! !!! 6′2 warm man and lots of blankets means lots of warmth and comfy sleep zzzzz...

Then you have Dimitri in Almyra and he hates hot weather (specifically, hates, so he says in an advice box letter). Claude would have to tend to him to keep him cool, sure, but I think Dimitri would whine a lot about the heat and I think it’d be rly cute and I think Claude would also think so. He’d have to bring Dimitri to the sea to let him stay in the water for a while, and then struggle to get him out of the water.

Something else I like to consider is how Dimitri would probably love to learn Almyran since he’s bilingual as it is, and I feel like he’d love to learn their culture and whatnot as well. Like I said, he’s really big on people from different places mingling, and he’s been trying really hard to get Duscur to be seen as an intendent land again. In Hopes, he’s trying to fix relations with Sreng (which Claude even considers Sreng in VW when mentioning his dream in full toward the end of the game). Getting to learn about Almyra would be something I feel that Dimitri would love experiencing.

Personality wise Dimitri’s a lot more on the formal speaking side, but they can absolutely both joke and be little shits! I’d love to see them banter with each other because they both have it in them. In fact, I think it would lead to lots of laughs and silly times and I think after everything, they both really need that!

tap tap am i missing something am i missing anything from this fic-sized essay tap tap my cat was staring at me for at least 50% perfect of this. i mean, straight up just staring and watching me from my bed and i just think that’s something i should share

OH YEAH I also love the interracial aspect because it really drives home their desire about race and everyone getting along. 🥰

Also, I feel like Claude needs someone he can really, truly trust and Dimitri needs someone who can make him really start to care about and respect himself again.

[uyuforu]

How to know where your Future Spouse was born with Astrology

Quick little story time to introduce this post: I was scrolling on instagram and suddenly I saw a reel about astrology. The astrologist on the reel was explaining how it was possible to see with the 10H where your Future Spouse was born/ come from, and explained in the reel. I'll give credits of course. But people in her comments seem to be confused still and she wasn't replying much. I thought of making a post about it and making it more clear! It is indeed a very interesting theory. In the reel she took the example of Angelina Jolie.

Credits of the theory goes to v.josa on Instagram.

All pictures were found on Pinterest

Other posts you could like:

જ⁀➴ How to know when you will marry

જ⁀➴ Planets and their Rulers

જ⁀➴ Juno, Groom, Briede in Signs, Houses, Degrees

Book a private reading: menus ; Q&A ; rules ; instagram

Buy me a Kofi •ᴗ•

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Why the 10H?

ꕥ The 7H in astrology represents the Future Spouse. And in Numerology, the number 4 represents the home, foundation, productivity and sometimes wealth.

ꕥ So if we count from the 7H until the 10H, we find a gap of 4. So in this theory, the 10H will so represent where the Future Spouse of the native was born.

ꕥ This technique is to be used on Natal Charts only. I will explain the technique used in order for you to understand better. This technique is to be used to guess the country but also the key words of the city they were born in.

ꕥ This technique doesn't say where your FS lives right now! It is only a way to found out where your FS comes from.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ The Technique

ʚïɞ In your 10H/MC, you will need to check the sign it is in. You will also check the degree of the house, but also the ruler, and what planets are in the 10H. We are only going to check planets! Sun to Pluto only!

ʚïɞ For the Ruler of your 10H, you will need to check where it is in your chart and under what sign.

ʚïɞ For the planets inside, it will tell us what kind of country and place your FS was born in. I'll give all the key words after the examples. For the planets, we will use the ones that are the closest to your MC! So if you have any planets that exactly conjuncts your MC it's perfect! Otherwise, just take the closest. The closest planets to take will need to be 10° apart maximum from the line of the MC!

ʚïɞ Unfortunately it is very hard to explain this technique just like that, so I will use different examples down below for you to understand better. I want to also add that everything is more about describing where your FS was born, and so everything will work with key words!

ʚïɞ Example: My MC is Cancer 23°. I will look at Cancer/ Moon keywords, Aquarius too because of the degree. I have Leo Sun and Cancer Mercury in 10H, so I'll look at Mercury & Leo/ Sun too.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Examples

ꕥ In the astrologer's example, she uses Angelina Jolie who has Aries MC in 17°. In her 10H, the planets closest to her MC are Jupiter (exactly conjunct her MC at 17° both) and Mars, which happens to be in the 9H. Aries MC is so ruled by Mars and the 17° is a Leo degree. She explains that Angelina's spouse would be born in a place related to royalty, fights could have happened there, and it can be a very known place too. Jupiter and the 9H (because Aries being ruled by Mars happens to be in the 9H) are both related to traveling, so many people could travel there, it's a very touristic place. Moreover, it can so mean marrying a foreigner. Her first husband, Jonny Lee Miller, was born in England, in a city named Kingston upon Thames. The country is indeed related to royalty and is very famous, but also the city. Originally, the city had another name which translated to "The King's Estate/ Manor". Jupiter is indeed a planet about optimism, success, luck, and generosity but it's also about abundance. Kingston upon Thames makes sense in this case, as it is the King's possession, abundance. Mars could also be so related to a man, it's also a planet about masculinity. The King marking his territory in this case, by calling this city "his" (happened a lot at that time) makes great sense.

ꕥ Jungkook has Libra MC 27°, ruled by Venus. In the 10H, he has Mars in it. But the planet which is the closest is Venus which is in his 9H. Jungkook's FS was born in a place that is related to femininity, anything related to beauty, art, beauty of the soul, sensuality, music, dancing, marriage too could be important in this culture, beauty, fashion, luxury too. The 27° could be related to a certain language, so this could be a place where people speak many different languages and have many different cultures. Many people could live there, and there could be a lot of moments in general. MC's ruler being in the 9H makes a lot more sense as to the fact his FS is a foreigner. Mars here could mean the place they were born in is full of movement, it could be a very active place, so perhaps his FS was born in a capital. Because of the Libra and Venus influence, his FS could be born in a place known for beauty, the way women dress, they way they do their make up, they way they move or act sensual, they could be from a country women are considered goddesses for example, or a place where there could be a lot of jewels for example, or a certain make up style, etc.

ꕥ My sister has Capricorn MC 10°, ruled by Saturn. In the 10H, she doesn't have much as planets, only asteroids. Otherwise, the Sun is very close to the MC and they actually conjunct each other. It seems like my sister's FS will be from a place people work hard, they can come from a wealthy place, a place people have a lot of belongings, though corruption can happen. They can come from a place where people are introvert, don't go talk to people, and they can come from a capital kind of city, big city, etc. An old country too. With the Sun being closed to the MC, the FS can come from a latin country, royalty, a place that is very popular, very visited, almost overrated. Since the ruler is Saturn, we need to look where it falls in her chart, and it falls in 4H in Cancer! And, as I was sure, they def come from the same country. FS comes from a country where traditions are important, and food may be part of it. FS could also come from a place near water, or the ocean, he could also come from the same city as her, or has been close to her this whole time, despite not knowing each other.

ꕥ In my case, I have Cancer MC 23°, ruled by Moon and Mercury being very closed to the MC. Indeed, my FS may not come from the same country as me, but the country he is from has a big interest in my country. His country is also known for being very traditional, and very close to their culture, they also are very into food and mostly their food, they hold a big pride into that. The 23° makes a lot of sense because he comes from a country that is known for being a futuristic place, a technology advanced kind of country, and with Mercury being close to the MC, they indeed have a very good and modernized transportation system. Oh and Cancer here could mean at some point I could have lived where he was born, because indeed that's what happened. This country also has a big idea about family and children in general (very traditional). The country isn't new but it's a recent touristic place, many people wanna go there now. Also it's a place where people are very into studying too. And I also wanna add, that the exact city he was born in is actually a place that is focused on new technology researches lmao. The MC is ruled by Moon, and my Moon is in my 8H in Gemini. I'll focus more on the 8H placement, indeed the country was hidden before, not very noticed until recently, and mostly it was a country that got a rebirth of some sort after war.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Key words and Help

ʚïɞ Aries/ 1H/ 1°,13°, 25°/ Mars

Warm, Summer, Hot, Wars, Fights, Battles, Revolutions, Leadership, Dictatorship, New Country, A lot of people, A lot of things going on, a place with a lot of energies, a lot of movement, a place that can be tiring emotionally, draining, angry people, people who are prideful, passionate people, aggressive people, Latin origin country or place, people who speak a lot with their body, s3x, kissing, people have a reputation for being physical, fast things, things changing fast in that place, arguments, people speaking loudly, strikes, bold, courageous people, the people revolting themselves in the past against the oppression or against a leader, men, kings, emperors, masculine energy, etc.

ʚïɞ Taurus/ 2H/ 2°, 14°, 26°/ Venus

Nature, calm, chill people, pretty people, a country or place with beautiful sights, a country or place known for their beautiful people, food, delicious food, culture is a lot going on with food, pastries, desserts, traditional people, wealthy country, a luxurious and expensive place, country can be expensive too, celebrities living there, hiking, a lot of parks, people speaking a language that is considered beautiful, skin care, people having beauty secrets, people being healthy, in good shape, culture also can be related to beauty and make up, clothing too, old country, Queens, Empresses, women being embodied as Goddesses, flirts, poetry, art, a country known for their arts, museums, a lot of artists, or a lot of artist come to study there, people known for enjoying life, etc.

ʚïɞ Gemini/ 3H/ 3°, 15°, 27°/ Mercury

Transport, a lot of different transport or new transport, a lot of cars, or just a country known for their good transport system, school and education system is very important there, a good education system, country or place is known for school or having smart people, funny people, open minded people, Muti-cultural place, people from different places coming to live here, curious people, gossips, obsessive fans, a lot of stalkers, paparazzis, social medias, people obsessed with social medias, a country known for they advanced technologies, people obsessed with their phone, people who talk loud, people talk more than 2 languages, people know for their books, literature, bookstores, a windy place, a new country, etc.

ʚïɞ Cancer/ 4H/ 4°, 16°, 28°/ Moon

A traditional place, ocean, sea, beach, water, fishes, a lot of fish based food, a country where food is part of their culture, delicious food, a place or country closed to their tradition, an old country, feminine energy, women, goddess, Mother Nature, mothers, pregnancies, babies, giving birth, nurturing, people can be nurturing there, people can seem innocent in this place, introvert people, shy people, very welcoming and warm people, faith, religion, the idea of home & family being important there, someone who speaks the same language as you or live in the same place/ country/ states as you, etc.

ʚïɞ Leo/ 5H/ 5°, 17°, 29°/ Sun

Warm, Summer, Hot, Popular, Royalty, Revolutions, Fame, Celebrities, famous place, a country which is very popular, capitals, big cities, luxurious place, expensive place, rich people, beautiful homes, a lot of historical places, huge monuments, huge buildings, art, creativity, artists, actors/ actresses, movie making, acting, a place known for multiple movies being made there, big movies studios there, movie festivals, boats, yacht, a place that is overrated, very crowdy place, parties, clubs, bars, concerts, living the life of the party, the city that never sleeps, beautiful hair, country known for their hair beauty secrets, etc.

ʚïɞ Virgo/ 6H/ 6°, 18°/ Mercury

Well organized country, a cold country, a cold place, people are distant, people are shy, people work hard, the working time is bigger in this place, detailed oriented people, a neat place, country likes to keep things neat, transportation, a lot of different transport or new transport, a lot of cars, or just a country known for their good transport system, school and education system is very important there, a good education system, country or place is known for school or having smart people, serious people, good health system, country wants their people to be healthy, country known for their healthcare, country known for having a lot of animals, country known for their good healthy food, place known for sport events, place where people have a lot of pets, hospitals, etc.

ʚïɞ Libra/ 7H/ 7°, 19°/ Venus

A country or place with beautiful sights, a country or place known for their beautiful people, wealthy country, a luxurious and expensive place, country can be expensive too, celebrities living there, people speaking a language that is considered beautiful, skin care, people having beauty secrets, people being healthy, in good shape, culture also can be related to beauty and make up, clothing too, old country, Queens, Empresses, women being embodied as Goddesses, flirts, poetry, art, a country known for their arts, museums, a lot of artists, or a lot of artist come to study there, fashion can be very important there, a lot of designers living there, fashion city, surgery, a country specialized in surgeries, people always dressing up well, superficial people, charming people, people being known for their charm, etc.

ʚïɞ Scorpio/ 8H/ 8°, 20°/ Pluto

Wars, Fights, Battles, Revolutions, Leadership, Dictatorship, the people revolting themselves in the past against the oppression or against a leader, night, the city that never sleeps, place where people live more at nights, clubs, bars, s3x, drugs, alcohol, spirituality, occult, scary, death, a culture that is comfortable with the idea of death, a culture that celebrates the dead, being closed to their ancestors, a country that got a "rebirth", a country that "died" and got back, wealthy, corruption, danger, being hidden, slow, people there respecting the old generation, shy people, introvert people, people seem scary or mean, etc.

ʚïɞ Sagittarius/ 9H/ 9°, 21°/ Jupiter

Foreign lands, a country far from where you live, a place where a lot of tourists fly there, airports, a touristic place, a place where many people take another flight, open-minded people, people being spontaneous, people being chill, religion, spirituality, people being close to their religion, religion being part of the culture, faith, multi-cultural place, a famous country, a famous place, wealthy place, a country or place known for their educational system, a place with a big university, known university, a place where a lot of people valued higher studies, a place where it's normalized to study for higher educational system, curious people, wisdom, mature people, etc.

ʚïɞ Capricorn/ 10H/ 10°, 22°/ Saturn

Well organized country, a cold country, a cold place, people are distant, people are shy, people work hard, the working time is bigger in this place, detailed oriented people, school and education system is very important there, a good education system, country or place is known for school or having smart people, serious people, people being closed to their ancestors, wealthy, corruption, banks, materialistic people, high buildings, a place known for their banks or economy, a country not doing good with their mental health awareness, slow, people there respecting the old generation, shy people, introvert people, people seem scary or mean, traditional, introvert people, men, masculine energy, kings, emperors, royalty, an old country, etc.

ʚïɞ Aquarius/ 11H/ 11°, 23°/ Uranus

Transport, a lot of different transport or new transport, a lot of cars, or just a country known for their good transport system, having smart people, funny people, open minded people, Muti-cultural place, people from different places coming to live here, curious people, social medias, people obsessed with social medias, a country known for they advanced technologies, people obsessed with their phone, airports, tourism, high places, high buildings, high divorce rates country, communities, new technologies, futuristic country, a new country, people talk more than 2 languages, Foreign lands, a country far from where you live, a place where a lot of tourists fly there, a place where many people take another flight, open-minded people, people being spontaneous, people being chill, a place many dreams of coming, a place known for dreams coming true, etc.

ʚïɞ Pisces/ 12H/ 12°, 24°/ Neptune

Artistic place, art, creativity, artists, flirts, poetry, art, a country known for their arts, museums, a lot of artists, or a lot of artist come to study there, esotericism, occult, spirituality, drugs, alcohol, hidden, shy people, introvert people, a place many dreams of coming, a place known for dreams coming true, ocean, sea, beach, water, fishes, a lot of fish based food, yacht, boats, sailing, fishermen, country or place with a lot of legends, good health system, country wants their people to be healthy, country known for their healthcare, mental health awareness, a country many people have illusions about, a country many people forget exists, a country over consumed by tourism, legal drugs, etc.

Thank you for reading!

back to index ; ask ; request ; rules ; instagram

[milaeth]

୨୧┊ 𝐈. 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒. ( charles leclerc )

ꖛ ─ you’re reading part one ∿ part two ∿ part three ( coming soon )

✧.* pairings ─ charles leclerc x fem! singer! reader

✧.* genre ─ social media au ⨾ fluff & chaotic

✧.* summary ─ in which your best friend George gets fed up with watching you and Charles secretly yearn for each other while claiming to be just friends. so, when you lose a bet to George, he takes control of your social media accounts for 24 hours, using the opportunity to help you make a move on your crush.

✧.* face claim ─ suki waterhouse

✧.* warnings ─ none, this is just really chaotic lol

✧.* mily’s thoughts ─ this is my first time writing a social media au so pls give me feedback! also, this is not proofread! btw feel free to leave requests <33

˗ˏ ➶ IMESSAGE ➜ w/ princess george . ✧ ˚

princess george: You know what, y/n?

y/n: no

princess george: I have the feeling that i’m gonna get a podium today!

y/n: what made you think that💀 not to crush your dreams princess, but i heavily doubt that

princess george: Wow, you’re so supportive. Why should I not be able to get a podium??

y/n: keyword: shitty car

princess george: Oh, yeah, I forgot about that… But i don’t care, i will manifest it (that’s what you always do, isn’t it?)

y/n: yeah sure..

princess george: You don’t believe me? Fine! Let’s make a bet then.

y/n: it’s way too early for this shit

princess george: Blahblahblah🙄

y/n: 💀 george i’m busy

princess george: Busy writing sad love songs about Charles or what??

y/n: …

princess george: Exactly. Now let’s do this!

y/n: why are you so eager to make this bet

princess george: Oh I just want to rub in your face that I was right afterwards

y/n: lovely.. but fine, start talking ig

princess george: Finally!

princess george: I predict that i’m gonna finish P3. Your prediction?

y/n: p11❤️

princess george: And now realistically…

y/n: p6

princess george: Thanks.

y/n: and what are the drawbacks?

princess george: I don’t know, maybe the loser has to hand over their main social media accounts to the winner for 24 hours. The loser isn’t allowed to use their main accounts in that time, only their private ones.

y/n: absolutely not

princess george: Aww you’re a scaredy cat?

y/n: no i just don’t trust you with my social media accounts💀

princess george: Okay fair enough

princess george: But c’mon, it’s gonna be fun! Only for 24h

y/n: fine but the winner can’t post anything too bad

princess george: Sure, sure. So, deal?

y/n: deal! and good luck (i hope you dnf)

princess george: Lovely as always

[ seen 12:03pm ]

georgerussell63

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 1,056,386 others

georgerussell63 P3!!!! We keep on moving🔥🔥

view all 649 comments…

user471 was a close call but congratulations!

user172 carlos deserved it more, you literally pushed him off

user93 he didn’t push carlos off but okay💀

user425 so happy for you!

user65 it should’ve been carlos

charles_leclerc congrats on p3 mate!!🔥

georgerussell63 Congratulations on P2! I nearly got you, watch your back next time😉

charles_leclerc let’s highlight the word “nearly”😉

user976 so happy to see you on the podium again🫶

yourusername still convinced you bewitched half of the grid to let you pass them

georgerussell63 Creative but no, I just had a great motivation😊😊

˗ˏ ➶ IMESSAGE ➜ w/ princess george . ✧ ˚

princess george: Well well well, look who lost our bet…

y/n: 😐

princess george: C’mon give me the password to all your main accounts so i can log in😁

y/n: what if i were suicidal.

princess george: Honestly sounds like a you problem.

y/n: fuck you.

princess george: Still waiting for the passwords😊

y/n: fine, but remember, only for 24 hours!

princess george: Yeah, yeah. Now give them to me.

y/n: … insta is “503_UedusEiotSrk03” & twitter is “eZiyjDbbvwKi_zu_14806”

princess george: Damn, those are some ugly passwords!

y/n: are you seriously judging my PASSWORDS rn💀💀

[ seen 4:20pm ]

scuderiaferrari

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 1,385,052 others

scuderiaferrari That’s ice cold🧊🥶 #F1 #P2 #Charles16

tagged: charles_leclerc

view all 6,175 comments…

user47 dayuumm🤭

user21 no one could ever get me into one of those things😭

yourusername That’s a sight I could get used to🥵🔥

landonorris don’t ever say or write that again.

urusername_alt🔒 @yourusername you really make me want to kms

yourusername @urusername_alt🔒 Aw, appreciate it❤️😉

landonorris y/n have you officially lost it?? why are you talking to yourself💀

user275 did we all see that or am i crazy💀

user164 yep we all saw that💀💀

yourusername

liked by zendaya, bellahadid, charles_leclerc and 18,364,187 others

yourusername "eyes that confess, while lips whisper 'just friends.'" my new single “just friends” is out now!!🤍 (yes, another single about my crush😘)

view all 369,270 comments…

user937 THIS IS SO GOOD AND HEARTBREAKING WTF

lewishamilton already on repeat🔥

user25 i cried my eyes out to this.

landonorris this is a BANGER

user12 how is this so cute yet so sad💀

˗ˏ ➶ IMESSAGE ➜ w/ princess george . ✧ ˚

y/n: HPW COULD YOU

y/n: I GO TO BED AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DO??

princess george: i have no idea what you’re talking about.

y/n: OH PLEASE YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT YOU DID

princess george: Uhmmm nope.

y/n: YOU POSTED ONE OF MY DRAFTS

y/n: AND NOT JUST ANY DRAFT

y/n: NO, YOU POSTED THE ONE ABT MY SINGLE💀

y/n: IM GETTING EMAILS FROM MY PR TEAM BC I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST THAT ON TUESDAY

princess george: Oh, yeah, my finger slipped🫢🫢

y/n: your finger must’ve slipped multiple times then bc the caption is somehow a different one💀 not to forget the twitter thing

princess george: Oops?

princess george: Besides, I only added one sentence.

y/n: are you fucking serious

princess george: It was an accident.

y/n: ACCIDENT MY ASS YOU EMBARRASSED ME IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!!! AND TOLD PEOPLE ITS ABOUT CHARLES WTF

princess george: To be fair that was predictable when we set the rules to this bet. And I didn’t directly say the single is about charles.

y/n: you did directly say that💀

y/n: istg i’m gonna beat you up the next time i see you

princess george: Should I be worried..?

y/n: definitely.

y/n: you give me so many seasons to kill you. this is literally the 19th one

princess george: Make it 20…

y/n: george. what do you mean.

princess george: I might’ve given you another season. On accident!!

princess george: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cu-IkZstViy/?img_index=1

y/n: oh no

f1wags

163,948 likes

f1wags Love is in the air, and our radar has picked up some juicy rumors! It seems like the friendship between the singer Y/N L/N and Charles Leclerc is turning into something more than just a casual relationship. Get ready for the scoop as we take a closer look at the blossoming relationship between these two stars!

Y/N and Charles first crossed paths through their mutual friend George Russell, but it seems their connection has deepened over time. On late Sunday, Y/N dropped a bombshell by announcing her upcoming single to her social media followers, accompanied by a captivating caption. The last sentence read, "another single about my crush😘," which made fans curious and hopeful for more.

The plot thickened when Y/N responded to a tweet and saying that the song was indeed inspired by her "bae," none other than talented Formula 1 driver Charles Leclerc. The revelation left followers shaking with excitement, and it's clear that the connection between the two goes deeper than mere friendship.

But that's not all! Observant watchers have noticed the undeniable chemistry between Y/N and Charles, catching glimpses of their interactions when they thought no one was watching. Ah, the power of love! Charles might have forgotten that the public has eyes everywhere, but we certainly haven't missed a beat.

The burning question on everyone's mind is: what's behind their friendship? Is it just a playful crush or something much more intense? Could Y/N L/N be a new f1 wag? Time will tell, but for now we can't help but root for this potential power couple.

So stay tuned, gossip lovers, because there's more to come from Y/N L/N and Charles Leclerc. Whether it's a steamy romance or just a close friendship, we'll be here keeping our eyes peeled for any hint of what's going on behind the scenes. Love may be a game of mystery, but they've forgotten that we're experts at unraveling the truth. Keep your eyes open, folks!

view all 33,647 comments…

user79 y’all really don’t know how to mind your own business

user943 why are people making such a big deal out of this like they’re just friends and y/n was probably just drunk or smth when she said those things🙄🙄 ITS NOT THAT SERIOUS!!

user27 you guys really don’t have a life huh💀

user375 who tf is this blondie

user50 girl stfu that’s literally my wife

user697 AAAA i really hope this is real bc they’re so cute💖

˗ˏ ➶ IMESSAGE ➜ w/ princess george . ✧ ˚

y/n: 💀💀💀

princess george: I’m starting to feel bad now..

y/n: good, you should💀

y/n: i’m gonna apologize to charles now

princess george: Why, It’s not your fault.

y/n: you’re right, it’s yours. but you said all those things with my account so it looks like it’s my fault lol

princess george: I’m really sorry, I took it a little far!

y/n: a little is good💀 but dw it’s okay, i know you only meant it jokingly, i’ll tell everyone it was you and not me once the 24 hours are over

princess george: 👍 Good luck talking to Charles. And don’t forget to confess to him before I do it for you😉😉

[ seen 1:24pm ]

∿ people who might want to get tagged ─ @81astri @cs55version @lorarri ( my taglist if you want to get tagged in my works )

don’t forget to like, comment & reblog (it’s very much appreciated <3).

© milaeth | 2023

[librarycards]

Hello! I am trying to read “the right to maim” by jasbir k puar and I am getting almost nothing out of it, bc of the depth + breadth of academic concepts :( I’m particularly frustrated by it bc it seems to talk about subjects I think about, talk about and do daily, like disability, transness, and (anti)colonialism. I’m most of the way through the intro and it’s gone almost entirely over my head except for a couple isolated paragraphs that are meaningful.

Do you have any advice for how I can get the most out of this book? My main limiter is time, bc I got it out from the library and it is highly requested so I can’t have it for very long

Hi anon! First of all, in terms of time, I recommend piracy. I recommend it in general. I'm not going to post links here in order to protect the places I use, but dm me if you want them.

If you're having difficulty with the concepts (which makes sense - right to maim is a challenging book!) I recommend going back to basics with some background reading. You can get some of Puar's rec'd background reading from the bibliography, and from the keywords she uses in the preface of the text. a few that I see (i'm looking at the PDF now) include debility, rhizome/rhizomatic, soverignty, biopolitics, homonationalism, impairment [in the disability studies sense], precarity, and neoliberalism. if i was teaching this preface, i'd have students break down each of these terms (and probably others, this is just from a skim) using outside readings. it's totally normal to feel overwhelmed when jumping into a scholarly text w/o any context, and most people who use and cite this book have past experience reading Puar's interlocutors and existing familiarity with this language.

you can get up-to-date while reading using resources in tandem with this text. For example, you can read Puar's discussion of debility at that link to get a sense of the context. You can read a decent summary of Foucault (the coiner of the term "biopower") and his thought at Brittanica. I recommend using Google Scholar for terms you're not familiar with, and taking quick notes so that you don't have to google them all over again each time. if you think you have enough context with a new word but aren't 100%, keep reading and use other clues. think about academic reading like learning a new language. the strategies are very similar! because it basically is.

I recommend using the annotation strategies i just mentioned in this post (and/or developing your own). i also recommend looking up Puar's talks on youtube - she's a well-known scholar who does a lot of events, and has spoken extensively about this book and its genealogy (especially in relation to praxis / Palestinian liberation). You can also read her talk with the hosts of Death Panel, my absolute favorite podcast.

Below, I'm going to give you an example of how I close-read, annotate, and analyze a paragraph from Right to Maim (and, by extension, other academic texts. This strategy may not work for you 100%, but hopefully it gives you some solid suggestions. Overall, remember that learning to read scholarly work takes time. A long ass time. Even when it's about things you've experienced yourself! Academia has its own conventions, verbiage, knowledge base, etc, and it's a learning curve for everyone. Don't expect yourself to read as fast or get as much as someone more familiar with the conventions of academic writing - anticipate reading all of these works many, many times, and getting more with each reading. Progress is more important than perfection, and improvement, even if slow, *will* happen, as long as you don't give up. <3

Below is a quote from the preface to Right to Maim, where Puar lays out her argument. I recommend everyone highlight/remember paragraphs like these (pretty much every ac text will have something like this in the beginning as a roadmap) to anchor their reading practice and help them get the most from a book (emphasis mine):

In The Right to Maim, I focus less on an impor­tant proj­ect of disability rights and disability studies, which is to refute disability as lack, as inherently undesirable, and as the sign, evidence, or fetish of injustice and victimhood. I am not sidestepping this issue. Rather, I centralize the quest for justice to situate what material conditions of possibility are necessary for such positive reenvisionings of disability to flourish, and what happens when those conditions are not available. My goal ­here is to examine how disability is produced, how certain bodies and populations come into biopoliti­cal being through having greater risk to become disabled than ­others. The difference between disability and debility that I schematize is not derived from expounding upon and contrasting phenomenological experiences of corporeality, but from evaluating the vio­lences of biopo­liti­cal risk and metrics of health, fertility, longevity, education, and geography.

In the bolded part, Puar outlines what she's not doing: she's not taking a mainstream (white, colonial) disability studies approach, which is, in her words, to refute disability as "lack." She's stating that her goal isn't simply to prove disabled people as equal to able-bodied people, or to claim that disability can be good and liberating (though it is/can be!). Her point is to look at the conditions in which people become disabled, and stay disabled. Often, these conditions are violent and unjust. Acknowledging this injustice kinda throws a wrench into western models of disability pride.

So, if she's not interested in just arguing that disability ≠ badness, what is she arguing? she's looking, in the latter half of the paragraph, to how people become disabled in multiple ways. One, using the verbiage in the book, she's interested in how people become debilitated - physically incapacitated in a way that may not line up with the social category of "disability"). She's also interested in how "disability" as a social identity is constructed - that is, why do disability rights groups look at Palestinians maimed by the IOF and see an injured civilian, but not a disabled comrade? words and context matter immensely. she's looking at why, and what are the implications.

that last sentence sums up the distinction she's making: "The difference between disability and debility that I schematize is not derived from expounding upon and contrasting phenomenological experiences of corporeality, but from evaluating the vio­lences of biopo­liti­cal risk and metrics of health, fertility, longevity, education, and geography."

the difference, she argues, between disability as western disability studies sees it and debility as experienced by people under colonial occupation isn't because we experience our bodyminds differently, or because Palestinians (for example) magically aren't as hurt by occupation as their white/western counterparts would be. rather, the reason she's using debility over disability is because the category of disability isn't objective: it's informed by biopolitical forces such as the ones she listed. her meta-argument is that what we call "disability" can't be divorced from its settler colonial context, not because colonized peoples are immune to disabling violence, but because the category of disability (and health, and violence) is itself affected by settler colonialism.

in "right to maim," Puar is offering a major shift in the way we collectively discuss disability, because the category is not applied equally across sociopolitical, geographical context. it means Palestinians and others living under occupation are either left out entirely, or unsuccessfully co-opted into western-/colonizer-centric disability discourse that doesn't acknowledge the different conditions under which they live. ultimately, "right to maim" means to make that difference, and its implications, visible.

Let me know if this makes sense! it's wordy and tedious, but lots of academic texts are. i hope that breakdown helps you make some more sense of Puar's main argument/the architecture of the text, and maybe serves as a model for future engagement. :)

[redxx95]

Exploring Kurosawa's internalized homophobia and compulsive heteronormativity

oh yea baby we bustin out the Big Words for this one 😎

This was supposed to be posted at the end of pride month but Life happened and it got delayed a lot 😩 So yea happy pride month (and happy birthday Kurosawa I guess 😂)

(btw I think I've never mentioned this on any of my other posts but english is not my first language, so if anything I write ever sounds awkward, that's probably why 😅) (also I had to merge a bunch of images to get around the image limit, this post is really long, the word count is at 1930 words 💀)

Hope you guys enjoy the read! 💞

Spoilers for anything up to vol 11

Let me start this by saying that there's no actual textual evidence of Kurosawa being gay (rather than bi/pan), so this interpretation is definitely veering towards headcanon territory. I'm also not trying to establish this as the only Correct opinion and anyone is of course allowed to have their own sexuality headcanons, this is very healthy and valid 👍

Kurosawa's internalized homophobia

The first scene I want to put under a magnifying glass is this one.

Let's examine what's going on here: Kurosawa has just tried to kiss Adachi, whose hesitation he perceived as disgust. Then he pretends it was disgusting for him too, because he thinks that is the average reaction anyone would have, extending this to Adachi as well. The way he says "who'd be into that?" is already lowkey homophobic, but the japanese line makes it even more evident: "普通嫌だよな" (= "Normally, you'd dislike that right?"). Keyword here being "普通" = "normal, ordinary", implying that anyone who would like that is abnormal. So what does that say about him then, who was so happy to get the chance to kiss another man? This is pretty much textbook internalized homophobia, where he has accepted what he perceives to be the general opinion on gay people and has made those values his own, hating himself for it (albeit only briefly here), which is why he internally apologizes to Adachi.

This is not the only instance of him feeling like that, although this next part is slightly more speculative than the more obvious example above.

So we all know that Kurosawa is a jealous, jealous man. It's one of his defining character traits and it's often the source of conflict and comedy alike. But he does not express his jealousy equally across genders. With men he has this strong rivalry where he needs to prove himself better and more worthy of Adachi's attention.

But with women he has a different approach: gently coaxing them away from him, lest they realize what a catch Adachi really is.

So, why this difference? The answer I have is that he doesn't actually believe he can compete with a woman. If Adachi wants to be close with a man, Kurosawa thinks it might as well be him, he's the best option after all. But if Adachi wants a woman, he cannot offer anything and is therefore the inferior option. He believes this even after he found out Adachi's not completely repulsed at the idea of being with a man. Even if Adachi's okay with men, he'll always prefer a woman.

And whenever he imagines anyone else with Adachi, it's always a woman, specifically Fujisaki, which he believes is "his type".

And he at least thinks he's very far away from that ideal. (He's not but that's a topic for a different essay.) If anyone's wondering why he even bothers at all then if he's so sure that a woman will out-compete him, I think the lyrics from the anime opening actually put it best, specifically the last verse:

I have these impatient feelings I doubt this love will come to fruition But still I can't give up this happiness There's a feeling here I can't resist A love like a castle in the sky

So basically, his plan is that he might as well ride the high of his first ever crush as far as it will go, intercepting where he can to prolong it just that little bit further, until it all inevitably comes to an end. (a castle in the sky = an unreachable dream) This plan kind of fluctuates throughout volumes 1-3 as Adachi gives him a bunch of mixed signals, but it holds true most of the time.

Adachi's side

Now I'd like to highlight the way Adachi actually thinks about their relationship, because it serves as a great contrast to Kurosawa's assumptions about him.

Throughout the first three volumes we see him grapple with his newfound feelings for Kurosawa, but he (almost) never puts his gender at the forefront of his musings. The manga makes it very clear that it's his lack of romantic experience and low self esteem that make it hard for him to accept Kurosawa's affections, and not the fact that he's a man.

This second page here being his own little gay awakening, where he realizes that he is not, in fact, disgusted by intimacy with a man.

It's also worth mentioning that when he later introduces Kurosawa to his parents (ch 41), they are immediately welcoming of him, suggesting he grew up in a very tolerant environment.

And it's not like he's completely unaware of heteronormativity/homophobia either, especially after he does his research in vol 8, but he is slightly more defiant in responding to it.

(I love how he just buys that bag he probably doesn't need that's supposed to come with all the wedding magazines, just as this very tiny act of rebellion.)

So now that we can see how different Kurosawa's thought patterns are compared to Adachi's, the next question we should ask ourselves is: Why is he like that?

Heteronormativity in Kurosawa's life

(yes we're finally getting to the comphet part of the essay 😂)

First let's look at the environment he grew up in. There are not many scenes with his family, but from those that we do have, we can at least make some assumptions about how he must've been raised.

His mother is clearly the authority figure in his life, judging by how she's described as "strong" and how terrified he is at her merely setting down a teacup (while Adachi has a more mild reaction). Her reaction to the news of them dating and Kurosawa expecting his parents to go as far as disowning him for it would suggest that she might just be generally homophobic.

But when they actually go meet her we see this slightly more nuanced perspective.

She's not entirely against it, but she does believe they are making a mistake by choosing to be together, hence why she thinks they might "regret it". There's many hardships that gay couples in Japan face, some of which we even see discussed in the manga, so it's not hard to see why she would be concerned for her son. The way she talks about Kurosawa never causing any problems, but "changing" ever since he fell for Adachi further supports that conformity is what she believes will ultimately lead to a successful, happy life. And that's also why she accepts Adachi later, when he's made it abundantly clear in his speech that they are happier in this non-conforming relationship than they were without it.

To contrast, her other child Mari is shown to have a very progressive stance (see: her pep talk in ch 47) and it would not surprise me if that is the reason she's rarely in japan and is never seen together with her family, save for the one time they're all at the wedding. She might find the conforming environment too restrictive and preferring to keep her distance. (shoutout to naina for this bit 🙏)

So that's Kurosawa's family situation. Now let's check how his social circle holds up.

From what we see of his friends, they never even seem to consider him possibly being with a man.

And his work environment seems rather toxic to say the least.

It clearly dictates traditional gender roles as the ideal. Nobody except Fujisaki even clocks any of Kurosawa's advances on Adachi as romantic in nature, even though he seems to be quite obvious about it (see: ch 34.5). And it's not like dating in general is discouraged at Toyokawa either, as we can see from all the women constantly vying for Kurosawa's attention.

From all this we can conclude that Kurosawa's upbringing and social/work environment is painfully heteronormative and until he falls for Adachi it seems he never questioned the status quo either.

The famous onsen scene, while funny, also reveals the sad truth that Kurosawa, in his 30 years of life, probably never even had the chance to explore his sexual orientation, rather focusing on being "perfect" in his straight relationships.

Speaking of those relationships...

He apparently had a bunch of girlfriends, who all seem to have dumped him pretty early on. His mother's surprise at him expressing a willingness to commit also makes me think he's never brought anyone home either. He also only seems to have a surface level understanding of what a proper relationship is supposed to entail, if his idea of an ideal date is just "what the average person" thinks is romantic. So why were all of his relationships so short-lived? Before I answer that...

Intermission: Kurosawa's smiles

It has come to my attention that this is not common knowledge, so let me explain: There's a way to tell apart Kurosawa's fake smiles from his real ones, without any context clues, just purely visually.

Real smiles: (ch 23, 24, 37)

Fake smiles: (ch 5, 13, 32)

The difference being very simple: Blush = real, no blush = fake 👍 And before anyone mentions it: No he doesn't just blush when he's around Adachi, that last fake smile is actually directed at him. (ch 32)

Edit from the future: This holds true like 90% of the time, but as Toyota's art style becomes more detailed, this doesn't apply as much in the newer volumes. I think there's also new details added that I haven't quite figured out yet so take this bit with a grain of salt. (The images below are still from her early art style though.)

So now that we have this additional knowledge, let's take a look at every instance Kurosawa is paired with a woman.

He's smiling in all of these. Not a single one has a real smile in it though.

I think he's never actually had his heart in any of his relationships, and the girls probably noticed it and that's why they dumped him.

And, of course, the first time he actually falls in love...

... just so happens to be with a man.

Even his friends comment on this, who have known him since high school.

It's almost funny how perfectly this aligns with real life gay people. Having numerous, short-lived relationships with people of the "wrong" gender is one of the more common traits of compulsive heteronormativity. (source: me oof) (but also shoutout to the "Am I a lesbian?" masterdoc, google it if you don't know, it's truly eye-opening)

After dating Adachi

So we have already established that he's far happier when he does finally get to date Adachi, but do any of his other thought patterns change?

Honestly it seems like he throws every single reservation about being seen as gay out the window.

He starts bragging like crazy about his new relationship to anyone willing (and unwilling) to listen, he has no qualms about PDA, he marks Adachi up and down so everyone knows he's taken and the only thing stopping him from proclaiming his love for Adachi to the whole world is the still very much existing societal homophobia. But he is a lot more easy-going about it now than he ever was before.

And I think the best way to describe this mental shift is, hear me out, the date song from volume 4...

... specifically the last 2 verses as a whole, and this section in particular:

"I won't let anyone divide our fraction! You couldn't pry this thrill from my hands when they're cold and dead!"

Horrible lyrics aside, this perfectly encapsulates how Kurosawa simply couldn't care less anymore now that he finally has what he's wanted for more than a year, maybe even his whole life. All the societal pressure pales in comparison to the sheer euphoria he feels at finally having someone that he loves and who loves him back just as strongly, feeling cared for and seen like no one else ever did.

And, you know, just happens to be a man. 🏳️‍🌈

[kalims]

ㅤamongst other things

premise. kisses w/ them, and random things?

featuring. dan heng, blade, jing yuan.

content. gender neutral.

cw. mentions of blood, murder for blade lol. he's just down bad for reader in a weird, blade way ig

note. this is ironic since my first genshin post was also about kisses (AKA me getting bored so I wondered why not get into star rail)

will add others soon ig.. I didn't compile all of them here cuz I honestly lack the characterization for them so woop

dan heng

short, abrupt kisses that rarely ever come by goes as quickly as it came. you'd assume that he's doing it on purpose, giving you the kiss that you've been waiting for all day. it shouldn't even be considered a kiss at all from how fleeting his apparent 'peck' is.

in short it's torture.

keyword: assume. cause as convinced as you are that this is just some form of twisted amusement dan heng gains, that's exactly the problem that it entails. as a person wholly, he's so serious to the point you doubt there's nothing that would entertain him besides books.

you learn he isn't much of a fan of those really long kisses, once you both bore witness to a couple eating each other's face in broad daylight and you spotted his weekly shift of expression, a quirk of few centimeters. in this case, a grimace and he looks away.

he, does not really give kisses a lot. as upset as you are, you do agree that when he does give you a kiss, albeit short. it makes it all the more.. amazing? such a mediocre word wouldn't be able to describe it.

basically when you're both left trying to fit in his small cushion (he could've atleast gotten a bed in all this space.) you also learn that he's a really private man.

you've only ever shared kisses in his room, embraces, everything else for that matter. when the door is locked he quite literally melts into you. if you happen to be sitting together he just leans on to you.

dan heng in public: 😶

dan heng in private: 😊

just doesn't show any affection in public, especially if march is around. that girl would make fun of him for hours end and even drag the trailblazer in on her antics of poking fun.

dan heng is indeed a private man.

march isn't the only factor as to why there hasn't been a lot of kisses out in public. if anything he probably wants to kiss you more than you would like.

he'd be lying if he said he wanted to just kiss you as long as those weird main characters of the romance shows march watches cause even though you might want that as well, dan heng won't ever do it.

cause it isn't him, what he is. is the type to get kisses done as soon as he can not because he doesn't enjoy them. it's because he can take a good look at you once he leans back, just like he does any other day.

to admire you.

and cause dan heng isn't the romantic type to kiss you senseless, but the one to give you looks you'd die for.

blade

if dan heng only gives you kisses a few times a day and you'd consider it torture, better get ready to lose your sanity cause you're lucky if blade even crumples at your hand to give you one.

it's not that he doesn't love you. he feels as though it's wrong to label whatever emotion in his chest as something as strong as love, he won't go that far. but he won't label you as something worthy of hatred either, you're.. tolerable?

if anything blade doesn't outright seek to give you his affection through the form of a kiss. his love language is in fact, not physical affection but destroying your enemies :). (if you have one, if not. then whoever bothers you will suffice.)

but if he does, when he does it's the most blade thing he can do. just grabbing your face with one hand as he gives you one of those rough, deep kisses. it's not really desperate or out of need, despite such a wordless action you could feel some emotion he's pouring into it.

better pray it's not hate cause.. 💀

funny thing cause as much as he hates being piled in the same sentence as dan heng, in a way they're rather similar. both just preferring to witness, given their life span.. maybe it's some type of response they're used to.

blade doesn't really do the 'oh I love you' or the random hugs. the fact that he'd even stand so close to you instead of isolating himself and looking all mysterious leaning on a pillar already spoke volumes of his fondness (if not admitted.)

he just.. watches you?

silver wolf comments about it when she's caught his eyes on you many times midst a conversation, behind your back, staring. "better watch out." she says, but even with her disturbed gaze never does he tear his eyes away.

well.

kafka does take it in more stride than her. as someone who's spent a hefty time with blade, even someone as analytical as her can't tell which things he likes, and hates. besides all the blood and pain (well usually for his opponents.)

she for one, tells you that he does indeed like you. cause she can control who blade murders 'for her own good'. but if there's even a single glimpse of drop from a wound he's going feral, and not even kafka or her spirit whisper can tame his rage.

AKA... just lots of murder?

'for your own good :)'.

blade wholly believes that he doesn't need to shower you in affection, or kisses at all. but if you're really so insistent on them he'll give into you, which is surprising cause he's a pretty stubborn man.

most affection you'd get in physical means is when he completely collapses into you, perhaps a sign of weakness. but also trust. one of the rare times he's exhausted himself in his mind to the point where he can't even do anything.

#icanfixhim.

jing yuan

a cheeky man, this one.

jing yuan could give you a load, barriage, arrows, whatever describes the endless assault of pecks he attacks your face with. emphasis on 'could', he has the ability, and the freedom but it doesn't mean he's going to :)

in short you have to work for it, he says.

you can't tell if he's trying to give you one of those motivational, slapping you back to reality lessons or messing with you. you're going to go for the latter since someone as bold as he is lazy.. even jing yuan would relate enough to not hit you with the lesson card.

in a way he's always dragging the time you've gone by without a kiss from him as long as he can just for the sole reason he can see your attempts to conceal your bothered face, even better when the expression of content is all but displayed to him once he gives in.

what? he can't resist you, you know?

you have a feeling he's teasing you again when he says that but it's better to not ponder upon it.

for someone who prefers to 'conserve' his energy. he's got a lot to spare when it comes to the repeated kisses pressed upon your lips, cheeks, eyelids, forehead.. whatever his own mouth can reach. (his favorite is the edges of your eyes..)

just for some reason, one he can't exactly name he ends up giving that particular area more love compared to the others. sometimes more lighter, feathery pecks when he's feeling playful. or the occasional longer, deep press of his lips when he's feeling rather sentimental about his feelings.

he doesn't deserve you.. but if not him, who else? ;)

gets mimi to help him into trapping you inside his office, jing yuan 'calls for your presence' but once you're inside rather than the pressing matters he apparently had to discuss with you (present in his message.) you're met with the man practically snuggling into you as he keeps you in his arms.

rather effortlessly if you might add!

and if you somehow managed to wriggle out his grip. you swore you saw him give the... big... cat a look and suddenly mimi is choosing to sleep right in front of the doors..

come back or you will not get kisses for two days (he's scamming u)

note. NOT PR... hi hsr fandom 🕳 posting in a new fandom makes me so nerviosity

[sweetestbasil]

RUBATOSIS || chapter one: self digestion

PAIRING : Dr.Gaul's Assistant!Coriolanus Snow x Experiment!Reader-Insert ( afab, they / them, sometimes it )

RATING : 18+ ( no smut in this chapter, but it's very unsettling )

WORD COUNT : 13, 776

WARNINGS : infidelity ( coryo's engaged to livia ), power imbalance, unreliable narrator ( it's 3rd POV but focuses on coryo's view ), unhealthy dynamics, dehumanizing language, medical experimentation, body examination that has... strange vibes, body horror-esque, coryo and gaul are messed up in this fic, he's more like his book version than movie

SUMMARY : 🙶 rubatosis - noun. the unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat 🙷

Fortune, marriage, and success - all within the hands of Coriolanus Snow, and it still isn’t enough to satisfy him. Tigris has grown distant and Livia is far more trouble than it's worth. 

Dr. Gaul has just the solution for him.

A/N : This is my first time posting my fanfic work on tumblr, so I hope everyone has fun reading this. If there are any mistakes, lemme know. This is the first of five chapters!

[ If you want to read it on AO3 instead ]

self digestion || autolysis - stage one of decomposition 

Oh, he hated this. 

He absolutely despised this.

A click of the soles, stepping against the freshly clean sidewalk, rid of any possible careless litter and debris. Had it not been for others who, too, were using the same path, even if they were going in opposite directions, had he half a mind, Coriolanus would have taken the moment to prop himself against a wall and let out the loudest sound of frustration. It wouldn’t be unwarranted, it wouldn’t be uncalled for. Dare he say, he almost feels he should be entitled to it. It had only been four days, but four days should have been enough time for Tigris to get back to him already. The correspondence was not even something of dire content, at least, Coriolanus imagined so. Questions of Grandma’am, if her time with Mrs. Plinth ( he was not going to refer to her as ‘Ma Plinth’ ) had been going well, how was the solo business venture regarding Tigris’s fashion going, was there any renovations that the home needed, how were they — things that he assumed, wrongly he guessed, that would be so simple to answer. 

God forbid that he still had the decency to still check in with his family even after he long moved out into his own place. 

If Tigris thought she could play him for a fool, she was the one in the wrong; the signs were as clear as can be, that Tigris was trying to ice him out as much as she could. And after all he’s worked hard for? Fixing the home up, making sure the fridge never stays empty, stabilizing the family. He’s even gotten engaged before Grandma’am could even croak, and is letting Tigris design his fiancé’s wedding gown! What else was he supposed to do to try and gain back her warmth? Dance and clap like a District to make himself seem smaller, more dumb, to please her? There was a lock to his jaw, a small grit in Coriolanus’s teeth, as he sipped down the coffee in his hand, the other in his coat pocket. 

He didn’t even wish to broach the idea of his fiancé on his walk to the Citadel. The heavy breath, a sigh, that breached itself out his lips. A hand raised to rub a gloved thumb briefly at the bridge of his nose. 

Ugh, Livia… It was a pain to even internally taste the words of her name on his tongue. 

It was an arranged marriage of convenience that he sought after, an extra piggy bank that he could expend on; and how quickly the elder Cardews lapped up at his palm when he planted the idea of marrying their daughter. A man who was of the old guard elite families, an assistant of Dr. Gaul’s, inheritor of the Plinth’s fortune, a gamemaker in training? They were downright salivating, that he almost felt embarrassed for Livia having to witness her parents’ stripped to their barest of greeds. The keyword being almost. Coriolanus needed to play his cards right to ensure his future, it was only fair game. If that meant taking his chance with the Cardews’ and their banks, he’d be just the fool that Tigris would want him to be if he turned them away. But, he could reluctantly suppose that the arrangement could be considered an equal drain on both parties. He seized their assets and their daughter seized up his free time. How could he forget the fundraiser dinner that Livia had invited them both to later on in the evening? She was delightful enough to remind him of it while they shared breakfast together, between his bites of quiche so that he couldn’t show a hint of a frown. 

Coriolanus sucked in a careful breath between his teeth. 

If she could only put herself to better use than just the one redeeming quality of a socialite. There was a slim chance he may have miscalculated. Perhaps it would have been an easier time, having something set up with Clemensia, or Lysistrata. 

“Mr. Snow! Good morning and welcome back, Dr. Gaul is already waiting for you in—“ 

“In Lab H05, got it! And a good morning to you, too.” He smiled back effortlessly to the front desk worker, giving them a wave and just the right, charming amount of teeth with the upwards pull of his mouth. 

Entering into the Citadel and seeing the hive of workers shift from one place to another in constant movement; they all tried to keep their voices at a low volume, but there was a constant buzz in the air, as they went from one hall to the other. Coriolanus maneuvered himself around them, slipping his deep mahogany overcoat seamlessly folded across his forearm. Full-Grain leather gloves that kept him warm from the cold, taken off his hands and instead placed neatly into the pocket of his overcoat. What a marvel it would have been for his young, naïve self to bear witness the luxury of a full wardrobe he now had. Never again did he have to spend long nights studying for the Academy besides an equally tired Tigris, who busied herself with trimming down the sizes of his father’s discarded shirts to fit him for school the next day. 

It was a muscle memory at this point, the path to one of the many labs that Dr. Gaul had established her practice in. She had told Coriolanus that she had a lab for each different study and project she was passionate towards, ones that were more… presentable, to the average Capital citizen, and ones that were more uncensored. Having worked for over a year under Dr. Gaul’s tutelage, Coriolanus had seen a decent amount, the clean and the vile, but even then, he knew very well he had not seen all. He wasn’t even sure if he did want to see all. Especially regarding what happened last time he wandered around the Citadel during Academy days. The doors to Lab H05 were wide open, Coriolanus noted, seeing it in his line of sight, getting closer and closer. It was inviting, telling any worker to come in and step in at any time ( should Dr. Gaul be around ). 

The air here was entirely different from what it was in the hallway. Where the air from when he first entered had been warm, inviting from the nipping cold outside. The vague smell of coffee, and an even fainter scent of something chemical, had mingled and intertwined to give the vaguest illusion that the Citadel could pass for a workplace like any other. However, the lab was as if entering an entirely different building. The lights that shone uncomfortably glaring, fluorescent lights that were hung overhead, on the ceiling. There were small lights, embedded into the floors and columns as well, guiding the path to any who walked in. It drowned the large room in an almost blue light. Lab H05 was one of the “clean” labs. A sterile scent in the air, the chemicals that were so faint in the halls were far more prominent, evident here. But, to the trained nose, there was something faint here too. The rusted scent of iron tickled under Coriolanus’s nose, but it barely registered to him anymore as anything concerning. Seeing the endless shelves of… odd specimens, the scent of blood was the last thing that should ever scare him away. 

“Dr. Gaul, good morning,” He kept a steady tone, not one that sounded tired, nor too joyous. Being seen as her “favorite” didn’t mean he could speak to her as casually as he pleased. It just meant that he took her current attention. A fickle thing that could be stripped away at any moment if he showed any less than acceptable. 

“Coryo,” He tensed his shoulders the same time she breathed it out in loving fashion. Her back once facing him, now turned as she walks towards him to cut the distance between the two. Since the gap started to form between Tigris and him, Dr. Gaul had taken to using that nickname on him. If it was to be used in terms of endearing him to her, or to mock him with the name that ghosts had called him, none could say for sure.

Coriolanus liked to believe it to be both, if he believed his assumptions of her character were right.

He never once let his eyes leave contact with her own, but he could hear the movement of her prominent, red latex gloves being peeled off her hands. She always thought it to be ironic, to wear such a color despite her profession. It matched the dye job that she had done on her surgical gown. He felt the weight of hands touching either side of his forearms, the smile on Dr. Gaul’s face caused a crinkle in her eyes as she bared all teeth in her smile. He wondered if she knew how threatening her grin looked.

“A morning to you as well. Has it been treating you good?”  

It felt as if some sort of warm feeling was spreading out from Dr. Gaul’s hands, through his arms and into his body. What a disgusting sensation, it made goosebumps rise on his skin. 

“As well as it could be.” Coriolanus’s voice spoke softly. 

Livia drained his energy far more than he expected with her morning rambles and gossip. 

Dr. Gaul’s hands smacked against his arms in a laugh, loud and knowing, she always knew, turning around to walk deeper in the lab. “Hah! By the sounds of it, it seems you’re not getting some peace of mind when you head home,” She turned back to look at him, giving him a glance, she was prying something out of him. “That’s no good, Coryo. You need to be in top shape to work, I can’t have my assistant become so… drained.” 

The crease in her eyes showed again. 

“If this is your preferred state, there is a new species of leeches I am working on. I assure you it is far more efficient than a Cardew of species.”

Well, now it was his turn to laugh. 

A dry chuckle that slipped from Coriolanus’s lips, moving to follow Dr. Gaul. Placing his coat on a table made of rich wood, something less… aseptic looking. There were moments where he often froze under the woman’s gaze; a humiliating, bodily reaction that made him feel so small, so vulnerable as he used to be. Yet, it was in times like these, where he could understand how Dr. Gaul still managed to hold sway over people besides just exemplary displays of fear and power. There was a sense of humor to her, if he could call it that, where if a powerful woman like her involved yourself in - you felt so included, special. 

“It was nothing like that. Livia just reminded me that after work today, she and I have to attend dinner later in the evening. It’s a fundraiser for the improvement and reconstruction of the Corso.” He turned his sight away from Dr. Gaul’s eyes, not being able to keep the contact any more. Flicking to the sight of the endless, bright shelves that lit up the tubes containing various specimens and experiments. Some failures, some on pauses, some successes, and some were just creative ‘what-ifs’; that would explain some of the seemingly useless fusions, like the jellyfish that had spider legs mixed in with some of its natural lappets, now encased in a resin tube. Coriolanus can’t recall if he was employed at the Citadel yet when this specimen was made. His fingers briefly touched upon the cool glass of it. What a disgusting idea. “I almost nearly forgot about it.” Dr. Gaul hummed at his response. 

“Why, doesn’t that sound riveting! What a joy young life is, flitting from one function to the other, all the night-time glamor. You know, before I was transferred to work in the Citadel, I was the same. I thought of giving my children some of my old wardrobe from my youth, but it’s so out of the current trends, it just collects dust now.” What a blessing, for her kids. They could avoid the embarrassment of coming into the room looking as if they robbed the Pre-Dark Days exhibit at the Capital’s museum. The heels of Dr. Gaul’s heels clicked against the smooth, waxed floor. Coriolanus could feel the brief sliver of her heavy presence pass him by from behind, as she went to head over to another area in the room. It sounded vaguely close to the center of it. 

“You must be excited, Coryo. Are you going to wear,” Her words paused. She was tasting the air for something. “Ah, what’s her name… That cousin of yours, the one who started her new business a while ago.”

What was the point of this conversation?

“Tigris.” 

A brief flare tickled behind his ribs, reminding him of his thoughts earlier before. Standing up from his spot, fingers now leaving the glass of the odd ( sickening ) creature, his prints left slightly behind on the glass. Stretching his shoulders back with his arms, muscles pulled, away from their previously hunched position. Coriolanus walked over to where Dr. Gaul was, who stood nearby another table at the center of the lab. This time, this one was far cleaner, made of what seemed to be a material of stainless steel. In her hands she carried a manila folder, or two, in her hands; her painted nails sifted through the papers carefully. She was writing something quickly down inside of it. He wanted to know, but he held his tongue. Gaul would tell him if it was something he needed to be aware of. 

“And I’m not sure. Livia is still picking out her dress and I want to match with her.” He smiled at her. 

“Aren’t you a romantic,” She gives him a look out of the corner of her eye, the blue one that matched his. It made his skin crawl, he hated the feeling of it. “Is your heart melting, Snow?”

Coriolanus hopes she sticks to her career as a Gamemaker, being a comedian looks like a bleak future for her. 

The smile on his lips grew wider, a small laugh at her words, his hand reaching to cover his mouth slightly to muffle the sound in the large room. 

“I wouldn’t say that just yet.” 

He wouldn’t say it at all. Livia? Melt his heart? Sure, she could melt his eardrums when she had that obnoxious snort to her loud laughs. It made her sound like a pig, shipped straight to the Capital from the farms of District 10. That would defeat the purpose of why he married her in the first place. It would be the utmost betrayal to himself, after he had promised to close himself after– 

“Since you have a date tonight,” His ears perked up immediately. “I’ll reduce the amount of work you have for today, I’ll be merciful.” He wouldn’t argue if she decided to give him more. She pressed a manila folder into his open hands, her grip was tight on it. This was a folder that not many eyes needed to be on. Taking it carefully from her hands, he raised it to his eyesight curiously, catching the sight of the project name written on top of it. 

PROJECT: CAPTIVE – A.01 PROMETHEUS 

Coriolanus brought his gaze back towards Dr. Gaul. He assumed he slipped a confused gaze at her, because before he could even ask her, she’s already speaking up:

“This is a project I had started around the time you were exiled in District 12.” 

His jaw slightly tightened. She didn’t have to use that exact word to describe it. 

“It’s far more… unique,” Her eyes rolled around the room as she sought out the word, the moment it landed on her tongue, she locked her sight immediately onto him. Gaul’s smile pulled a bit more at her cheeks, a festering excitement that was slipping out from her internal confines. The threat of teeth in her smile was no longer an attempt of niceties, but far more sinister in its intentions. Coriolanus would argue on a good day that both were the same, that Dr. Gaul’s cruelty was her being kind. “Than my other projects. Far more different than any of my other muttations, this is a beast of a different breed, but one that you and I know intimately well.”

 So this was a human experimentation, Coriolanus deduced. 

Dr. Gaul would never dare to refer to those below Capital ranks as something human, there was always something else she had to refer to them by. Animal, beast, plague, insect, if it stripped them of their humanity, she was eager to take it. They shared similar sentiments, but sometimes, he had to give them some form of distinct name to separate them. “I’ve actually grown quite fond of it. Usually, I’d handle its tests and exams, but you seem like you need a pick-me-up.” 

It should make him disgusted at how easily she could see through him. 

The older woman stepped further away from him, into one of the dark recesses of the room. Lab H05 was one of the main center labs within the Citadel, meaning it earned itself the privilege to have its layout be connected to other rooms, outside areas, halls, and the like. It just happened to be, the darker areas that Gaul was heading in were towards the direction of one of the elevators connected to the room. Coriolanus watched her body retreat into the dimly lit area, not quite following after her. He didn’t know why. His hands felt stiff with the folder in his hands. The pounding beat of his heart in his ears matched in tempo with the steps of her heels against the floor. If he was going to move, she was going to need to ask him. She knew too, the doctor knew her own footsteps, and she was very aware when others’ joined in. Turning around to look at where he still was, standing, watching, she looked back at him. Coriolanus could make out her faint silhouette in the dark, but Dr. Gaul’s blue eyes shone brighter in the dark. As if she had tapetum lucidum, how it reflected so wildly. She was not helping the rumors made against her, that questioned if she ever used herself for a subject of fascination. 

“Come now, Coryo. You don’t want to waste time.”

A silence fell upon them both. 

“Understood, I’m right behind you.”

Walking after her, Coriolanus descended the small set of stairs that she had gone down from, he stepped into the dimly lit area. The manila folder was still grasped tightly in his one hand, at his side. He didn’t understand it, he didn’t understand her. Yes, she said that she wanted to cheer him up, but he’d be a fool if he was to believe that’d was to be the only reason why she was doing this. Volumnia Gaul, telling confidential secrets because she cared for his well being? No, there was always something else. An ulterior motive she wished to serve, or a lesson she wanted to teach. When he was brought back from his sentence of being a peacekeeper, it was not because her heart broke over him. She was not weeping at him having to tread his feet into the muck and grime of District 12. It was because she was holding him up to an ambition that both him and her both wished to see. 

“This one,” Dr. Gaul started her words, occasionally turning her head to the side to make sure he was still following her ( he was ). “Started out as a simple curiosity. I had to sit with myself quite a bit to figure out a punishment that would actually serve some productivity.” Her hands reached behind her, flicking at the folder that Coriolanus was holding. He opened up the folder, finally, to look through the report. Whatever the Doctor was gesturing vaguely in conversation, it would be more explicit in her writings. “Displays of cadavers, desecration of the human silhouette, trauma to the cerebrum, these punishments can only go for so long before new ideas must be made. If the rebels expect the same disciplinary action, you can expect them to gain a tolerance to it.”

Squinting at the paper, he leaned his head slightly down to get a closer look of the subject. A small photo was attached to the report by a paperclip, it was a person who seemed to be in a similar age group to his. They looked clean, proper - they wore an ironed, white button up shirt under a dark vest, with unique, yet simple earrings they donned on. Pearls and tiny opals that dangled from a gold chain earring. A family heirloom, if Coriolanus had to guess. They smiled widely in the photo. Their teeth weren’t perfect, their upper cuspid was a bit more pointed in comparison to all others. 

They had once been a capital citizen, turned rebel, to… this. 

“I wanted to truly push my mind forward, and see if the impossible would truly be… well, possible.” Dr. Gaul grinned at the end of the sentence. Coriolanus lifted the photo up, after hooking his gaze unto the former for a moment. It’s a shame, he thought to himself. How pretty they are, had they not tainted their mind with childish ideas they would have continued to live in the comforts that they were so comfortably lavishing in before. He was curious as to whose family they once belonged to. A filthy curiosity enticed him, a want to digest more at the report at the risk of tuning out Gaul’s feverish ramblings. 

“Personally, I outdid myself.”

There was a small desire to curse her under his breath, the writing for the subject’s name was far too rushed and messy to read properly. Did she want him to read the report, or play word scramble? 

Dr. Gaul’s steps had stopped, the white noise of her chatter turned to silence was enough to bring his head back from the report. She stood between him and the elevator, holding her hands in front of her, folded. Peeking to the side, the button for the down level was lit up in a glow of red. Her smile widened. 

“Curiosity eating away at you, Coryo?” 

It still made his skin crawl, everytime she used that name. How frightening it was, that it also brought him a strange sense of the coldest warmth. 

“You’ve talked so vividly about them,” Not clear enough. “I want to see what makes you so excited about them.” He wants to see if they could come close to bringing him out of his frustrations. Fingers that touched the edge of the subject’s photo twitched in tempo with the small ding of the elevator. Doors opening, Dr. Gaul stepped to the side. Hands gestured, letting him know to step in first which he obliged. Yet, no other steps than his own followed him in. Coriolanus turned around, a puzzled look on his face when he noticed how Dr. Gaul was standing in the middle of the elevator’s doors. 

“Expected me to come join you? You can’t be so attached to my hip, Coryo.” She laughed, her hands reached in between her surgical gown and work attire. Pulling out a set of keys attached to her worker’s ID, she tugged a key off. Dr. Gaul dipped her body slightly in to twist at a lock that had revealed another panel of floor buttons aside from the usual floor ones. This must have been the key designated for the Citadel’s researchers and engineers. He had a private key of his own, but that was reserved for Game Makers. Still in training, but Dr. Gaul had persuaded the others to give him his own copy. “I have other things that need tending to, so you’ll have to have your fun without me.” Pushing a floor button that was labeled C09, glowing red under her touch, she gave him her key. She pressed into Coriolanus’s free palm, closing his fingers to clasp around it. 

“You can keep this one. I’ll ask for another copy.”

Was it because this one almost seemed rusted over to hell and back? Coriolanus wasn’t an idiot. He could feel the textured sensation of something that, usually, was supposed to be smooth metal. 

“Thank you, Dr. Gaul.” He spoke softly back to her. 

Dr. Gaul sent him another smile towards his way, the abominable sight of her gradually leaving his sight as the doors closed. A divide now between the both of them. 

Instantly, a breath of air was released from Coriolanus. His head reeled back, eyes closed,  leaning against the wall of the elevator. He was now by himself. Free from that imposing woman, he finally could be released from her watchful gaze. Always gauging him, examining him as if he, too, was another subject on her surgical table. Perhaps, in a strange, distant sense, he was. Which is why he likes it far more when their interactions are limited. Even if it makes him feel guilty if he hasn’t spoken to her for any prolonged amount of time. 

Another breath, he brought his head back down, eyes open. Opening his hand to where the key was held in his hand. It was frighteningly warm in his hand, most likely from when both Dr. Gaul and him held onto it. The material of the key was dark in color, rust having formed around some of the edges. Spots of dark stains marred its dull shine, it almost looks black in contrast to the key’s natural dark hue. This most definitely was blood, now dried. In his head, Coriolanus could see the vivid picture in his head: Dr. Gaul barely bothering to remove her gloves after leaving the examination room, holding the key between sticky gloves. A sneer pulled on Coriolanus’s face. He pocketed the key away. 

He wanted to focus on something else. 

The weight of the manila report at his side stuck out glaringly obvious, he still had yet to fully read through everything. His fingers were still thumbing between one of the pages, bookmarking a random place in the report. Should he wait to see the project on his own? Give himself something ‘fun’ to surprise himself with? A discomfort prickled at the hairs on his neck. No, he didn’t like surprises too much. Surprises meant no control, and no control meant chaos that wasn’t under his hand. And what more could be asked, when what he needed to know was right here. Hands flipped back open the manila folder while he waited for the elevator to finish its descent. 

On the first page, there was only one photo of the subject, before the project had started. Dr. Gaul was always so thorough, so there must have been more to see. And how he loved to be right, when the sight of more clipped on photos peeked through in between pages. He stopped at the sight of them. These had been nude, taken in what was most definitely an examination room. They must’ve been in captivity for a few days for how haggard they looked. Gleam completely gone, with only a dark emptiness seen on their face. Signs of minimal swelling on their left cheek from when they were hit by a peacekeeper when resisting arrest. Bags under the optics, suggesting either sleep deprivation or developed insomnia. His eyes lingered on the photos that took in zoomed in shots of identifiable beauty marks that were scattered around their body. One around the back of their left acromial, around the sternocleidomastoid, one on the left mammary gland, and another on the right femoral muscle. Unconsciously, his fingers traced along the edges of each photo as he examined them until they traced after the words of ink. 

The objective of the project: engaging and testing pain receptors on the subject. By use of non-licensed medication and surgical operations, the subject’s NTRK1 gene was mutated to a certain extent to gain the closest imitation to Congenital Analgesia ( while still keeping the subject alive ). If Coriolanus recalled, in his textbooks, Congenital Analgesia was a condition that always was given to a patient by a pass down from the parent. It was never really something ‘made’, or ‘given’. He could understand now why Dr. Gaul was so pleased with herself for accomplishing this feat. Curiosity was beckoning him, wanting to see more of what the report entailed. 

Pages dedicated to each operation, each test done. There were pain charts made, scales from 1 to 10, to test out the nerve receptors. Each test, the numbers on the chart went lower and lower; 10s that went to 9s, to the current lowest being a 6 for the majority of the subject’s body. The more sensitive areas, such as the frontal or the palmar of the body, were around 7 to 8 on the chart. Flipping to the back of the contents, there was a small note in Dr. Gaul’s handwriting.

Today, please take care of Project Prometheus’s nerve exams. The last surgical operation was done last month and they have just now fully recovered. Update the report by the end of today, to measure if there are any fluctuations on their pain receptors.

Sounded simple enough. If this was all he had to do today, then there was a chance he could clock out from work even earlier to give himself space before tonight’s event. A ding finally was heard from the elevator, he was here at Lab C09. Folder closed in his hands, his foot stepped out of the elevator and onto the floor. What a drastic difference Lab C09 had been in comparison to Lab H05. If it hadn’t belonged to Dr. Gaul, Coriolanus may not have been able to believe that this was an actual functioning lab. It almost seemed forgotten by the Citadel, half of the fluorescent lights not working, or blinking at different intervals. It bathed the floor in a very gray, almost vile green hue. The scent of copper and rust was far more noticeable, and the smell of medicine felt almost nauseous here. There were no grand columns in sight, and no endless amount of shelves dedicated to new specimens and ideas of creation. The floors were unkempt, specks of dirt packed into the corners of where the wall and once sleek tiles met. Occasional cracks on the floor, parts of the design broken and shattered into bits of ceramic. The halls were long, with endless doors that ( thankfully ) all were open, empty, or both. With the exception of the large corridor doors at the other end. He could make out the sight of Peacekeepers that stood on guard, near the corridor door and by the elevator entrance. 

This definitely was Dr. Gaul’s more… uncensored labs. 

Coriolanus took a few more steps into the lab and noticed the large stain of dried blood that dragged from where his feet stood, past the corridor doors. Eyebrows raised at the sight, but his eyes did not widen. Marvelous, the subject might still be rebellious. If this was to be the case, he’d be severely unimpressed. All these exams to change the NTRK1 and nothing done to affect the amygdala. 

Sloppy work here, Dr. Gaul. 

Pushing through the corridor doors, after giving the briefest of nods and acknowledgement towards the Peacekeepers, he found himself exactly where he needed to be. Entering an area that was entirely void of light, except for one thing. 

A large window glass on the other side, showing the examination room on the other side. It lit up this half of the hall, shelves of varying medicines and chemicals lined against the walls of the examination room. Surgical tools were lined up high on the wall, out of reach, not yet pulled out and placed on the side. Today there was no operation to be done. Examination lights shone overhead, and under it was the examination table where Project Prometheus sat. 

They sat down so compactly, so politely, knees folded to their chest and arms wrapped around them, their face leaned against the crevice their legs gave. The subject definitely had changed, physically, since the projects had begun. Their skin barely had the warm glow it had in their photo, had it not been for the peeks of color on their joints, he’d assume that there was no more blood rushing through their body. Their hair that once looked so well maintained, luxurious, was cut at awkward angles. Yet, it still managed to frame their face well enough. Figures, that was former Capital genes at work. Their body has taken significant damage since then. Scars of various shapes were scattered all across, bandages wrapped in some areas, and stitches that dragged around entire limbs, like their arms, thighs, feet, even one on their face. As if they were some over-played ragdoll that was patched up far too many times. There was no fight he could see from their eyes, and no anger. Was the blood on the floor halls really theirs, or did that belong to someone else?

This could not even be called anything, but a shell of a husk. 

Coriolanus stood there, watching, taking in the sight of them. It barely felt like he was breathing. And that alone irritated him. It’s like his body was trying to make itself seem smaller; as if he was somehow bothering them. He sighed out his frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose. They couldn’t even hear him from the thick glass, what would he be so concerned with? Bringing his hand back down, about to open the manila folder once again to compare their ID photo to their current state - he peeked at their form again. 

He had been noticed by it. 

His breath felt lodged in his throat, his original action now tossed to the side, as they and him both just… watched each other. Their eyes that had looked so sullen and distant before, were so focused and vigilant of him. But, they didn’t seem scared of him. Their body didn’t look tense, their expression didn’t twist into any wrinkles. What feeling was running through their body? Could they possibly feel anything? Coriolanus stepped away from the glass, slowly, and down further into the hall, to where the door of their examination room was. A peacekeeper stood guard near the heavy door, beside them a surgical gown, cap, goggles and gloves were on a hook. Excusing the other to the side, so he could reach and grab the attire to put on himself. Coriolanus questioned, as he tugged the latex rubber gloves on, if he still wanted to entertain the idea of holding their test today. Teeth grinded inside his jaw, he hated to admit weakness, but it was no lie that they unsettled him when they had stared back. 

That probably contributed to why Dr. Gaul favored the project so much, both must take joy from bringing him such unease. A sigh hissed from his teeth, as he put the surgical mask on. 

“I’ll be back out in just a moment. I’ll let you know if an emergency comes up.” 

It’ll be easy work, and then he can leave.

Opening the door, the sterile smell of the room rushed past him as the metal door was moved from its tight seal and then closed heavily behind him. Their head had moved away from where the glass window was, turned to stare at where he stood near the door, their folder still in his hands. Thinly-veiled sweat was forming inside the gloves, with the silence that fell heavy in the room. He opened the folder. 

“Good morning, Subject A01, I am–”

…? 

Did they say something? 

“...I’m sorry, did you say something?”

Another tense silence fell in the air. 

“... That isn’t my name.” Its voice was quiet, slightly hoarse but not entirely. Unexpected, considering their length of stay here. His fingers pinched tightly at one of the pages. 

“...What do you mean?” He was not going to call them by their Capital name. They had long since lost the right to use it, after rebelling against Panem. 

“Dr. Gaul calls me something else.” Coriolanus was going to kill it if they did not clarify. 

“And what does she call you?” This was the nicest tone he could muster. 

They spoke it once into the air, still looking at him with those dead eyes of theirs. Had Dr. Gaul been so fond of it to have given it an entirely new name? And they accepted and went along with it? That didn’t feel right, from what he’s examined about them so far. They were a rebel, they had fought against a Peacekeeper, they were dragged around the halls bleeding. 

And they gave up their old name?

It had shifted out of its cradled position, their legs dangled off the examination table and their arms were placed on their side. Coriolanus could see the patient gown they wore more clearly. It kicked its feet in the air idly, as it waited for his response. 

… Do they even know the situation that they’re in? 

“...Right. Well, do you know why I’m here?” 

“Not really. I’ve never met you before.” Was context clues also something it gave up while in captivity? “I know the guards, and I know Dr. Gaul. I don’t think I know about you,” They’re a prisoner, it’d be counter-intuitive if people were giving them info about every single staff member here. His mask covered the lower half of his face, but he hoped the slight shift of facial muscle was enough to convey that was trying to smile towards them. He walked further into the examination room, closer to where it sat and where the shelves of drugs and medical equipment were lined up. Their stare was burrowing holes into his back, while he shifted around, opening and closing shelves and drawers to check inside for what he needed. 

“Well, I am Dr. Gaul’s assistant. You can call me Snow,” He was not giving his first name to a former rebel. “I’m here today because Dr. Gaul is a bit busy today to handle your check-up, so I’ll be filling in her role.” Gloves shifted bottles around, turning them around to read the labels. The disinfectant, cotton swabs, tweezers, needles, rubbing alcohol, syringes, the bite-rag, marker, he had it all except the custom medicine that Dr. Gaul had made for it. In the instructions of how to construct their exam, Dr. Gaul had explicitly mentioned that they were to take specific medication, as they had helped keep it conscious at all times for operations and exams. It was needed so that they’d be able to relay the ratings, which is why Coriolanus was reading yet another prescription bottle in his hands, squinting in frustration. 

“It’s this bottle over here.” 

A delicate, scarred hand had pointed at another bottle that sat idly on the shelf. Coriolanus turned his head slightly, seeing the subject no longer on the examination table, standing behind him quietly. Not staring at him, they were entirely looking at where their hand pointed. They were only standing just a couple inches away from his body, careful not to touch him as they stood on the tips of their toes to point at the medicine. With this proximity, it was easier for him to get a closer look at them. The stitches on its body were done with thick, prominent threads; there were far more beauty marks he could pick out on their face that the photos didn’t display. The patient gown was made from a material far thinner than he expected, a visible silhouette could be seen from underneath the flimsy cloth. His mouth felt unusually dry. 

A cold chill trickled down his spine. He barely noticed them. He doesn’t even think it made a sound when it moved. 

“Careful, keep your space from me.” He spoke, a careful warning to their ears and a threatening promise on his. He didn’t want to risk being so close to them like this, he barely knew the extent of how violent the project could possibly be yet. Still, they listened, backing away from him and putting their hand back down to their side. Both it and him stared at each other again, the tense air dancing back inside the room. They looked as if they had wanted to say something, and Coriolanus, internally, felt almost violent for how demure they were being with him. It repulsed him, how it felt almost endearing if he looked at them for a second more. 

“Is something wrong?” Eventually he bit the bullet, speaking first between the two of them. He can’t bear another moment of silence with it. 

“... I don’t need a bite-rag. I don’t think I really scream much anymore.” They still had an issue with explaining context to him more, he’ll tell Dr. Gaul that needed some work lat– His jaw ticked… Why did he care about your abysmal social skills? It was a captive, it had no one to speak to other than their own captors. Pulling down their prescription from the shelf, a dark, thick liquid, he said in return: “It’s best to have it on hand, just in case you need it. Now, return back to the examination table.” For a split second, he thought he could see their gaze soften at him. Were they seriously entertaining the idea that he was being nice to them? Coriolanus just didn’t want to deal with their sounds while he worked. It’d be like trading one screaming fit for another, for when he had to go on his date with Livia later in the evening. 

They nodded, and followed his command, walking back to sit on top of it. Their body was sitting in his direction though, observing, waiting for him. Coriolanus still felt unsure about them, but… it was strange, their obedience. It made him suspicious of its intent with all this. Trailing back to the center of the examination room, he placed all the tools on a metal tray. Pulling out an exam stool from under one of the tables, he set the syringe to the cap of its prescription. He pulled the plunger of the syringe up, watching as the barrel filled up with medicine, until it sat nicely. The needle left smoothly from the cap, and a drop of the liquid dangled at the edge of it. This form of silence he liked far more better. 

“...Do you have family, Dr. Snow?” 

So close. Coriolanus flicked the needle harshly, the drop hitting somewhere else. He placed the ready syringe down, and picked up the black marker. Turning back towards them, their head rested in their palms, watching him intensely. 

“That’s none of your concern. Now please, remove your gown so we can get started on the examination.” Grabbing the stool to pull it underneath him, he got comfortable in the seat while it moved to get up. As their hands reached behind them to undo the tie around their waist first, it still spoke ( much to his chagrin ). 

“I was just wondering since Dr. Gaul usually talks whenever she comes to visit.” That explained why their throat was not as hoarse as he was expecting. Dr. Gaul was treating her trials with them as a morning brunch. “She sometimes talks about her day, or talks about her family.” They loosened the tie around their waist, the fabric more flowy around their lower body. Coriolanus stared intently, taking in the first peek of skin. Looking past the scars, despite the stitches pulling at parts of their skin, and the dented scars, their skin looked soft, malleable. They must’ve been popular on weekend nights, back then. Their hands reached up to undo the tie around their collar. Rather than watching him while he worked, it was his turn to watch them. There was that beauty mark on their left acromial. Eyes leisurely trailed back up to their fingers, the smallest note with how it fumbled around behind them to untie the flimsy string. Their movements were clumsy, in his eyes, which almost surprised him. “She likes to talk about her three kids often.”

Coriolanus looked away from their stitched fingers, confusion on his face. 

“Dr. Gaul only has two kids.” He’s seen the photos she has in her office. She has two sons, both who have gone on to have families of their own. Not once has she mentioned a third kid, Coriolanus isn’t even sure it was possible at her age. Didn’t menopause usually affect a person’s chances of getting pregnant? Maybe it was a secret child she had abandoned at the maternal ward while dropping off her resignation as an obstetrician. 

“No, she has three. She told me their names: Caius, Martius, and Coriolanus.” 

Oh. 

Oh, now that’s… 

“I see. You must be closer to Dr. Gaul than I am.” 

He didn’t know what to really say to that. There was really nothing for him to go and argue about, especially with the patient. Coriolanus couldn’t quite outright say that the third child was him, especially when he specifically told them to refer to him by his last name. And if he revealed that this was an entire lie on Dr. Gaul’s end, he wasn’t quite sure how the woman would react for doing so. It wasn’t his place, when he had no idea what Gaul had wanted to achieve. He understood the physical punishment and hypothesis being put upon Project Prometheus, but he had yet to understand where the emotional, and the mental, aspect of this punishment was. Dr. Gaul will tell him if it was needed, or he’ll figure it out based on his own conclusions. That must be one of the purposes Dr. Gaul had assigned this task to him. 

“Alright. I’m done.”

Coriolanus blinked. He didn’t even realize he lost focus on them, he let out a small exhale as he lifted himself from the exam stool, marker ready in hand. 

“Right, for the next step of this exam, I need to…” 

Words trailed off for him. 

What an entirely different view it was, from before, looking at them only from the back. From behind, it was just read to him as a large canvas of skin that had already been stained and painted on. Nothing that gave way to what person under the flesh could be. Yet, the front… There was more to regard and take note of, a far more different feeling than just having viewed from the photos alone in the reports. If he were to ignore the marks left on their body, had they stayed perfect from before, he could’ve made the argument about their body being more alluring than the average Capital citizen. That familiar, dry feeling touched his throat again. What a waste, for genes like that to be wasted on a rebel. There were more beauty marks and moles in the front, along with more stitches and scars. Coriolanus could see the surgical scars that were healing between their pectoralis major area. A curiosity rose, questioning how scarred tissue would feel under his gloves. He raised an eyebrow, as his gaze dared to move to a lower section on their body. Must be for easier mapping, that Dr. Gaul decided it was best to have their pubic area shaved clean.

“...Dr. Snow, are you okay?”

His tongue darted out to lick his dry lips under the surgical mask. 

“Fine, just thinking about Dr. Gaul’s instructions.” He was going to go insane before he could even head to the fundraiser tonight. Coriolanus reached his free hand out, hovering it over their shoulder area, guiding them to stand closer to the area between the exam table, and his stool. He took note, that despite the way their body has changed since their captivity, their body still held a warmth that radiated off from their skin. “Stand here, please. For this next step, I’ll be using this marker here to map out the different muscles and areas on your body. Are you familiar with this?”

The subject nodded, a yes from their lips. 

Good. 

The sound of the marker cap popping off filled in the lack of words on Coriolanus’s part, the black cap falling on the tiled floor and rolling off to a dark, distant corner of the room. “For today, we’ll only be focusing on the external pain chart. Meaning skin surface only,” He lifted the subject’s hair, pushing up against the subject’s head, strands that were long enough to block full access to the neck. Bringing the marker up, he pressed down the chiseled tip of alcoholic ink on the subject’s skin, making the first section of dotted lines. Writing on their skin in careful, small letters, the areas that compromised their neck; the semispinalis capitis, the levator scapulae, the rhomboid minor–

“How long have you worked for Dr. Gaul?”

Fingers nearly stumbled in drawing when the muscle stretched in movement, he lifted the marker carefully away from its skin. The idea of putting in Gaul’s suggestion box the order of a mouth gag was becoming all the more tempting to him. 

“It doesn’t concern you.” Coriolanus responded, coolly. 

He pressed the marker back down on its skin, moving himself to the anterior of its body. Between his gloved fingers, he held their chin. The muscle limp in his hands, letting him lift their chin up to show more, exposing the unfolded expanse of their skin. The project was an annoying one, but at the least,they were a pliant one. The black dotted lines drew itself across the subject’s body: the sternocleidomastoid, the sternohyoid–

“How has your day been so far, Dr. Snow?”

Would Dr. Gaul throw him to the curb if he strangled one of her projects?

Coriolanus lifted himself slightly from his leaned down angle, his fingers that once lifted its chin up, had pulled their chin back down to look at him eye to eye. Its gaze stared back at him with such emptiness, a lack of anything to be seen, no anger, no defiance, no discomfort, not even joy. His eyebrows narrowed down slightly as he took in the face that held no question to how, and what, manner he held their body in. Were they trying to please him? Make his guard drop down by asking questions, hoping that he’d become more sympathetic towards them? 

“Dr. Gaul isn’t here. You are under no requirement to attempt conversations like you’ve done with her.” He spoke, trying his best attempt at sounding sympathetic to their ears. That would be the easiest explanation. The soul of them was sucked out by Dr. Gaul forcing them into an illusion of a grotesque socialite. That’d explain away the project’s incessant speaking. 

Yet, the subject had tilted their head under his fingers. The slightest push against his grasp. 

“... Do you not like talking, Dr. Snow? Dr. Gaul always looks so happy when she’s talking.”

So they were trying to suck up to him. He locked his teeth. And to think, he was giving them a chance of redemption, by assuming that they had been conditioned to engage in meaningless conversation. Maybe he was wrong about their obedience. There was still a spark of a rebel within them regardless of their time, their experiences, in captivity. 

“I only ever see Dr. Gaul, so I got excited to see someone new. I’m sorry for upsetting you,”

They could’ve fooled him with that tone of voice. They sounded as dead as their eyes had looked. Yet, Coriolanus bit his bottom lip as the doubt touched his head; the subject’s stare, if he gazed deeply enough he felt as if he could almost make out a sullenness to them. Were they legitimately apologetic? He didn’t want to even know the answer, he just wanted to finish this job as quickly as possible. He let go of their chin, releasing it. Gloved fingers now traced the space between their shoulder and collarbone, the subject angling their neck to the other side to give him room. He brought the marker back down to their skin, more dotted lines appearing under his wake. 

“... What exactly is your relationship to Dr. Gaul, if I may ask?” He hated them, he decided. He hated how quickly they managed to rope him into this dumb small talk. It was almost audible, the sound of the subject blinking, feeling their gaze boring under the layers of his clothes. Did he say the wrong thing? Did they not want conversation? He adjusted the weight of his stance, uncomfortable under the silence the subject had unwillingly placed him in. Was he not doing what they wanted, was that not enough for them?

“Dr. Gaul is…” Their words trailed off. They were trying to find the words, unsure of what to say to him. They most likely didn’t want to try and insult her, considering her assistant was in the room with them. They don’t want to risk possibly earning more punishment. Project Prometheus may have been smarter than what he initially assumed. Coriolanus moved back to the posterior, hands trailed themselves across the subject’s shoulders, feeling, to remind him of the muscle underneath before he marked it down. Trapezius. 

“Dr. Gaul is my caretaker, I think.” 

Well isn’t that something unique. 

If the subject had decided to say captor, overseer, punisher, he wouldn’t have cared. It would’ve been honest. Caretaker? That was something different, that was something sympathetic. The thought of them turning this twisted dynamic into something heartfelt, fell sour on his tongue. It made him feel repulsion towards them. Why bother to lie? “Tell me about that.” His voice was soft, inviting the project to open themselves to him. As the marker continued to mark their skin, Coriolanus took one of its arms under his hand. The subject’s fingers twitched slightly, when he brought his hand under theirs. Their hand was not that big in comparison to his own, unable to fully fill out of his palm. The fingertips were usually the more sensitive parts, when it came to sensations. He hummed. Adductor pollicis. 

“...I’m not sure how to describe it well.” They sounded unsure. Spending this extended amount of time with them, Coriolanus could make out the slight tonal differences they had in their voice. It was very small, though. The muscles in his hands seem to slightly tense.

“Do your best for me.” 

Their fingertips, the slightly yellowed nails, tapped slightly at the latex material of his gloves. Almost as if fidgeting to gather the words, the right ones, to say to him. 

“Dr. Gaul has always been… someone there, I suppose.” Because she has to. “The guards are there too, but they don’t really notice me in the way Dr. Gaul does.” He wrote down on another part of the subject’s arm, drawing another dotted line. Brachioradialis. “Even though the tests kind of hurt, but I’m getting used to it now, she’s been the only one so far to give me a name, a birthday, check up on me, tell me about her day,” He was almost impressed at how their were trying to upsell the ‘normalcy’ of their captivity. A new name and birthday? Maybe the secret third child of Dr. Gaul wasn’t him, but actually them instead. He almost laughed aloud at the prospect of it. Coriolanus turns to the other side of their body, taking the other arm of the subject to write on after finishing the other. Biceps brachii. “That’s like a caretaker, right?” And now it was asking for his confirmation? It truly does want to appease him. He let out another hum, as if he was thinking to himself when he was going to go along with their delusions. “It sounds like Dr. Gaul cares a great deal for you.” He lied to them. 

Making his back to the anterior of the subject’s body, he stood in front of them, the subject tilting their head up to him. Project Prometheus was shorter, in comparison to him, standing at eye level against his chest. Latex touched the area of the linea alba, Coriolanus kept his gaze steady on them and they did the same. There was a silence that fell between them, but it felt so uninviting to him now that he finally had it. The subject still held their indifference, their apathy, and he wanted to know why it bothered him so much when he should like how easy of a prisoner they were being. No, there had to be something more. There was always something more. His fingers dragged down their skin, and his marker followed behind, writing down the names of the muscles he touched. The subject had moved their arms, and Coriolanus tensed for a second, thinking they were finally going to react, going to grab him, hit him, something – yet, their arms shifted away from the angle of his body, moving in to hold the muscles of the pectoralis major up in their hands, cupping them. They were making more room for him to write on their upper abdomen. 

Coriolanus loathed them. 

Had he had half the control, he would’ve smacked the stitched hands away. He liked it far more when they acted like a ragdoll, instead of this game of pacification it was trying to play. Writing down on the external oblique aponeurosis, he brought his hands back up their skin until it rested under their wrists. He held both their wrists on either hand. “Please, bring your hands down so I can continue mapping.” The words came out more as a whisper than he had intended. They instantly had listened to his command, letting their arms fall back on either side and their chest exposed to him. His eyes lingered briefly on the sight, taking in the small details that made the subject unique. The beauty mark on their left mammary gland, now in his line of sight. No longer blocked by the limit of only just a photo. There was that dry feeling in his mouth again. 

Carefully, bringing a hand up, gauging their reaction, he held one of the mammary glands in his free hand and a marker up in the other. Judging their face, they seemed neutral, no frown or smile, no wrinkle, no squint. He could assume there must have been discomfort under those dark pits for eyes. He knew that’s what he felt, doing this right now. Coriolanus wondered if it would have been better or worse, if Project Prometheus were to be more… reactionary. 

“Let me know if anything bothers you.” Dotted lines followed after his hand. He’d take it, the laborious small talk. It was much more preferred right now than this tortuous silence that had fallen between them. Thick and constricting, had it gone on any longer, Coriolanus knew he would drive himself internally insane if he was to be left alone to his own thoughts. If Project Prometheus had done nothing while he was holding onto their very own breasts in his hands. Had it been any other person, they would’ve squirmed under his touch. Possibly even a twitch to unconsciously move away, as the marker moved against the skin of the areola. The mapping of the right gland was dotted and marked completely. 

“You don’t bother me.” 

Now, that felt deliberate. 

Ink halted, stopping after writing out the final letter of the pectoralis minor. The words were written next to the beauty mark he had noted before. Coriolanus was tempted to make dotted lines around the area, as a place of special interest, though marks like these were no major muscle or nerve. Blue eyes had looked up through thick lashes, he slightly lifted his craned head up to get a better look at the subject. Peering towards their face, he didn’t know why he expected anything different. It was the same look of disinterest, the broken lights hung above them casted a haunting shadow over their face. Did he also look similar, when they stared back at him? In certain angles, despite the unnerving look the room had given them, Coriolanus might’ve thought their eyes seemed naturally soft towards him. Innocent, maybe. 

Did they see nothing wrong with what he was doing? … Or had all the tests and operations ruined not just their nerves, but fried them, that their sense of danger seemed near non-existent? 

Was this another form of appeasement that it was trying to pull on him? 

Unconsciously, his hands had released themselves, finally, from holding onto Project’s Prometheus’s breasts. Both now marked, his free hand slid down the expanse of their abdomen. The ridges and bumps of their scars and stitches were felt briefly, the full grasp of the sensation blocked by the barrier of latex rubber wrapped around his fingers. Not once did he look away from the subject as his hands made its way down, and neither did Project Prometheus. His hand stopped at the tensor fasciae latae. Something was wrapping itself around the cavity of his chest, making the activity of breathing a difficult feat for him to do. Coriolanus didn’t know what he was doing. Was he trying to garner a bigger reaction from it? An attempt of possibly stirring violence, even? 

Maybe it was delaying his own discomfort, he realized. Looking down, he stared to see the spread of skin below that had no splotches of black ink. They were shorter than him, he’d have to get down on his knees if he wanted to have clear and easy access to mark its legs. How humiliating… Having risen up through the ranks and bringing the Snow family back to its rightful place of acclaim and fortune; only to fall back down on his knees to a prisoner, a former rebel. If the other families caught wind of this, he’d never hear the end of it. 

Reluctantly, still holding onto their hip, his body moved itself to the floor. Knees touched against the uneven grout of the tiles, the position a bit awkward. He was thankful, for the surgical gown he wore, that the vile floor of the examination room wouldn’t stain against his clothes. Tracing his hand down to the stitch mark path of their leg, he rested it at the back of their thigh. Coriolanus tilted his head up, ready to command that Project Prometheus moved their leg more towards him. But, his words fell into a silent, held breath as he gazed up at them from his position. The shadow that had cascaded over their face briefly from before was now entirely enveloped around their body. Sickly green fluorescent lights shone above their head, akin to a haloing effect. Illuminated around the edges of their body, their hair, the subject still looking at him. Only him, and nothing else. A thrumming noise was loud in his ears; it felt dangerous. It felt like a warning that something was wrong here. He had felt it before.

Project Prometheus moved its leg forward, more into him, without a word ever spoken between the two of them. How pliant it was with him. 

He pressed the marker against their skin as thank you, dipping his head back down to their thigh. It would be risky, if he lost focus. There was still so much he had yet to know of the subject, the layers that were contained behind the flimsy shield of flesh and tissue. He dotted the area of the vastus medialis, careful not to press the ink against the subject’s stitches so as not to irritate the healing skin there. Maybe its attempts of appeasement were working on him. Not once did he think he’d have a shred of enough care to think about the possibility of ink seeping into their wounds. 

He marked down the region of the knee. Patella. 

“...You’re a very gentle person, Dr. Snow.” The subject spoke quietly, in a whisper just loud for him to hear. “You treat me so carefully, I barely feel a thing when you hold me.” 

It mistook his lightweight hands for kindness. Reality was that he was just wary about setting them off. 

“Does Dr. Gaul not treat you in the same manner?” The words came out softly from him. Reaching now the ankle of the subject, gloved hands reached down underneath the sole of its foot, lifting it up for better writing access. Instinctively, Project Prometheus placed their hands on either side of his shoulders so as to not fall. Their body leaned itself more into him, using him as a steady weight of support. The proximity of their small body bent over his, the glare of the fluorescent lights was entirely swallowed up, casting a dark shadow over him, blocking the light from reaching him. Could they feel, under their ragged fingers, the tenseness in his body at their action? If the subject wanted to, they could easily go in to attack him in this vulnerable position. He’d do the same if he was in their position. He continued to write, marker steady in hand. There would be no satisfaction to be gained for the subject, in seeing him stumble and cower. 

He wrote the words ‘abductor hallucis’ on their foot.

“She… does not treat me rough, no. If I had to describe it, I think the word for it is more… ‘inanimate’.” He doesn’t quite recall if a new law was passed that required captors to treat prisoners humanely. It sounded as if it was trying to recall certain words again. Should the exam go entirely smoothly with no problems, he might feel generous enough to convince Dr. Gaul to bring Project Prometheus a dictionary for them to study up on. Not like it would do much. It wasn’t like they had anyone to really practice their knowledge on. 

Coriolanus wondered what the prisoner was exactly before all this, back when they were formerly Capital. They lacked the air of dignity and ignorance that most Capital elites donned well, but maybe that could be attributed to their decay while staying here. Or perhaps the prisoner had come from a small, simple family. The kind that handled all the manual labor that the Capital never liked to speak loud about. The workers who were hardly ever seen, or acknowledged. That could explain why he never heard any recent fuss over a family’s child being ‘sent away’. No one would ever care for a background prop. 

It held onto his shoulders more tightly, as he adjusted the subject’s position. It didn’t want to topple over him. 

Project Prometheus's right foot now marked accordingly, he placed its foot back down on the rotten floor. Ready to reach his hand to hold onto their left, the subject moved without the need for his touch. The left leg was gestured forward for him. How sweet of them to realize a pattern. “I don’t mind it, though. As long as she still talked to me.” How fascinating. The subject was pacified by the easy act of conversation. Such a simple thing to be pleased by, Coriolanus could think they were joking. Regardless of how things were going so far, he still didn’t forget it. The bloodstains on the halls was something he could not erase so easily. That suggested, no, it told him, that Project Prometheus had something up their sleeve still. Though, nothing had occurred. Nothing had happened because they were still speaking to each other. Coriolanus continued to write on its foot. Lumbrical.

“...Do you get upset if she doesn’t speak to you?” 

He couldn’t help but ask. 

He wanted to know. He needed to know. 

“...I get lonely, and sad.” Was it trying to downplay its emotional reactions to him? “I wonder if it's because I did something wrong to upset her.” If a prisoner of his tried to fight back numerous times during their captivity, he’d get annoyed too. It was strange, though. Coriolanus knew that morals and values were of no concern for Dr. Gaul, especially against rebels. Any torture, punishment, placed on them was not seen as being done onto another person, but just another animal, a specimen in her collection. It would not be above Dr. Gaul to cut off a limb, or two, to get a prisoner to stop fighting. So… why not do the same here? Perhaps, this form of mental and emotional punishment was more lethal than he assumed. Another curious test from the mad woman, it was impossible to ever understand her whims. 

“Sometimes, I think it might be one of her tests.”

Coriolanus didn’t say those words. 

He didn’t like this. Such a statement, spoken so simply, brought him a sick swirl of unease. 

The movement of ink had halted, yet his mind continued to race. The thin hairs at the back of his neck stood at its ends, and he held tightly onto the marker in his hand. Quietly, carefully, he placed the plantar surface of Project Prometheus’s foot back down on the uneven tiles below the both of them. Reaching his hands up to his shoulders, where the subject’s extensor retinaculum were, he held onto it firmly. The subject put up no sign of objection. Sweat was slowly building up under the tight material of the gloves he donned on, but it was not a sweltering warmth. It was a cold, clammy sensation. 

“What do you mean by ‘one of her tests’?” Punctuating the words at the end, he kept his tone inquisitive, curious. Perhaps, a dabble of suspicion. Not towards the subject, but more towards the matter. What was needed in this situation was caution, and he’d be a gutted fool if he was to let the rebel become aware of how much the question startled him to his core. For right now, he’d play the gentle, confused assistant that it assumed of him before. He already told the lie of it knowing Dr. Gaul better than he did. 

“Her tests,” 

It spoke as if he knew! He knew very well what it was. What once was a flash of fear, had become a steady stream of anger. He knew because he is Dr. Gaul’s assistant. It was his job to follow in the steps she’s placed out for him, and more. Why would a prisoner, a subject, know about the ways Dr. Gaul operated? How much does Dr. Gaul tell it in these ‘conversations’? 

It made him sick, that the lie he told before could actually become true. 

“I never notice it until it’s done, until she tells me at the end. She never shares the results with me.” For once, he is tempted to strip his pride and beg for more details. “Most days, it’ll be physical tests, like today. Others, it’s more… talking, or writing.” 

“Writing?” 

It came out quickly before he could properly think his words over. He doesn’t recall seeing possible writing exams in Subject A01’s report. To be fair to himself, he did skim it briefly since he was only just now introduced to the project. There wasn’t much time for him to familiarize himself with all the tiny details written inside. At least, the things that were legible. 

“Dr. Gaul hands me scraps of paper and just asks me to write what I think. Like uh, a journal…I guess.” Keeping a diary couldn’t be the only test Dr. Gaul was having it do. If writing random streams of thought was enough to be intellectually challenging, he wouldn’t be seeing students at the University fighting to win passing grades. “I don’t understand the reason why, and I never remember what I write. My memory is not the best.” It was giving him an excuse to try and shift the conversation. How funny it was, trying to take control of the situation. He’d never let such a thing happen. In this examination room, there was only one person and a subject, the dynamic that was at play was clear. The grip Coriolanus had on their extensor retinaculum tightened, an unconscious movement on his part. Project Prometheus had taken in a soft breath of air at the action, the sound loud enough between the both of them. Had it not come from a prisoner, what a sweet sound it could’ve been. 

“Could you explain it to me,” His voice came out softly, despite the gnawing irritation that he held back. The tight grasp he had loosened, one hand stroking down a careful thumb down the stitched wrist of the subject in gentle circles. He shifted in his kneeled position, adjusting to a more comfortable weight as the layers he wore started to wear at him, an uncomfortable shift. Wearing the surgical uniform could be sweltering. Tilting his head up slightly to gaze up at the subject, praying that his eyes did not betray and reveal his inner thoughts. “Try to remember.” 

Coriolanus could’ve sworn he saw a slight falter, a tremble, in the dark optics of Project Prometheus. Its supercilium furrowed just the slightest inch upwards; did it look apologetic? The first visible change of expression he’s witnessed in the time he’s spent here in this examination room, and it’s one of regret. The subject’s fingers twisted itself into the fabric of his surgical gown, opening its mouth partially as they sought the right sound, the right word. He could make out the faint peeks of its canines. 

“... I’m sorry, Dr. Snow. I can’t remember at all,” They breathed out, in admission, surrendering. It treated it as a guilty confession. 

“Not a thing?” He whispered softly to them, prompting them to speak more. Coriolanus applauded himself internally, for how sympathetic he sounded. 

The subject shook its head. 

“My memory is not good.” Again, it reaffirmed its previous statement. 

Was his question that hard? Surely, specks of small details, flashes of imagery, that would be sufficient enough of an answer for him. He wasn’t asking for a full essay of their inner workings ( though, he wouldn’t mind it ). However, as both their eyes continued locked in a stare, his thumb slowed its movements. The leathered finger stopping at the center junction of its stitches, the feel of the raised, textured skin apparent under the feel of the material. Project Prometheus was being sincere. Its face hadn’t changed, its body had not moved away from him. Dare he say, the minimal space between them; something he did not mind earlier before, had become much more apparent in his feverish mind. The subject answered him so honestly, it made his suspicions of before seem so ridiculous now. One thing did nag at him though, the writing, the insistence of journaling, the memory. 

…

“... Do you remember how long you’ve been here?” Two years ago, Coriolanus recalled. Two years ago, that was when he was abandoned in District 12. When Dr. Gaul had started the experiment on Subject A01, busying herself with curiosities while he was drowning himself in depravities and vices, waiting out like a dog for some form of mercy to reach him. 

A new, tense silence consumed them both. He watched the subject carefully, taking note of the slightest movement that could give any indication of anything more. Tracing with his eyes, following how Project Prometheus’s cuspid snagged at their chapped bottom lip. A faint flush of red spread across the muscle, from the pressure exerted on it. Unconsciously, it reminded him of how dry his own mouth felt, the hoarse sensation in his throat. He darted out his own tongue for a brief moment to wet his own mouth, hidden underneath the surgical mask he wore. Nothing was being said between them, but yet there was so much being told. A fierce feeling was soaring, running through the veins of Coriolanus; he knew what it meant and he feared for it. Not for what the answer could be, but what it possibly could bring up. 

“You don’t remember how you got it here at all, do you?” His voice was so hushed, spoken as if taboo. It gave him the same feeling of it, the rush as the blood was entering his head and his heartbeat loud in his ears. 

A form of dissociative amnesia. 

Project Prometheus had developed gaps in memory due to an extended amount of isolation and exposure to severe trauma. It all clicked in Coriolanus’s head. He understood now what Dr. Gaul was attempting to achieve in her games with the subject. The tests, the daily conversations, the journal writing – Dr. Gaul was examining the subject’s mental decay as part of the Project’s ongoing research. Not only has the woman deteriorated and changed the way the prisoner’s nerves had worked, but their mind as well. Is continuing the Project even viable to do anymore? It was a form of punishment. Would it be ethical to operate on a being of flesh, when the subject no longer knew what it was being punished for? The question would most likely give Dr. Gaul a kick of joy. She loved to ponder questions worthy of debate. Coriolanus wouldn’t put it past the woman if she already gave the inquiry out to one of her classes in a lecture hall. 

“I vaguely do,” 

His eyebrows rose in interest. 

“But only in subtle feelings.” 

Nevermind. 

“I think I experienced some form of confusion. And bits of anger, too. Dr. Gaul… For a moment, I used to be so scared of her. Now, I can’t even remember the reason why.” 

Project Prometheus’s indifference, Coriolanus realized, it was not just solely based on apathy. What had become of it was a blank state, unsure of how to process things so the mind refused to process it all. But, it was still something highly susceptible to influences, shown in how Project Prometheus had become conditioned like Pavolv Dog, to associate Dr. Gaul’s silence with anger and disappointment, and her socialness with satisfaction and joy. It all was dawning on him. He could see it now, why Dr. Gaul was so disturbingly fascinated by this project. Gloved hands moved away from the subject’s wrist, and reached out to lay in gentle manner against the side of their bare thighs. The subject allowed him to, never raising a sign of objection. Could he teach it to experience anger once more, when he treated their body like this? Maybe discomfort, disgust, despair - he wanted to show their blank canvas of a mind what it felt like to fully immerse themselves in these ugly emotions. He knew why they were like this, but there still was a lingering crumb of vexation directed at the subject. Somehow, in their newfound state, they still felt far more free than he ever did; how they almost felt nothing, and he had to feel everything. 

And yet, there was another thought that touched him. He wondered, if he spent enough time with the subject, could he too, be able to condition them to other things. They thought of him as merciful, kind, in comparison to Dr. Gaul. Could he make Project Prometheus worship him, and in the same quiet breaths they were fond of, resent him? The thought of making them accustomed to anticipating his attendance, and lamenting his absence sounded tempting. 

How nice it would be, to have someone other than a deranged crone enjoy his presence. 

Tigris certainly didn’t anymore. 

Coriolanus rose himself from the ground, gripping on the meat of Project’s Prometheus’s flesh to lift him. Under his touch, the pliant stretch of skin and tissue made the subject remove their hands from his shoulders. Another faint breath escaped their exhale. It was a sound he was slowly getting used to. Back to their original height difference, he no longer had to crane his head up to look at the subject. The subject had to lift their head up to look up at him, now. What did Project Prometheus see, in their gaze as they stared at him, Coriolanus thought. Was he too, consumed in shadow and bathed under the gritty lights of the examination room like they once had? 

“We’re done with the mark-up.” It took him a moment to move away from the subject. “We’ll move to holding the nerve exam now, after I administer a low dosage of your medication.” 

The uncapped, black marker was placed back down on the metal tray, aside from the examination table. Replacing its empty space was now the syringe he had filled out before, the dark color swishing as he picked it up. The needle gleamed under the fluorescent light. Turning his back around, Project Prometheus had already sat themselves up nicely on the edge of the examination table for him. Their legs dangled off, their hands held at the edges of the worn-out leather cushion, eyes fixated on his person. They were waiting for him. He’s almost bothered, how easily the subject could anticipate his next set of commands. He hoped that this was just due to routine, not because he had become easy to read. Coming up to meet them there, the only sound that filled the air was the sole of his shoes stepping against the tiles. Gloved fingers reached to grab at the jaw of Project Prometheus, the syringe held close to their face. It shone particularly brilliant, mere inches away from their face. The subject showed him no fear, no resistance, despite the way the skin of the cheeks had moved under his grasp. 

Already, he wanted to break them.

“Show me where to inject you.” 

He’d be sweet, Coriolanus would let them pick where it was most comfortable for him to inject the medication in. Project Prometheus complied immediately to him, holding on the hand that held their needle to adjust the position. They guided him to the back of their neck, moving their hair to make space. To reward their compliance, he pricked the syringe quickly under the skin, careful not to touch an artery or nerve. The dark liquid inside the barrel slowly filled out, emptying itself as he pushed the plunger down. The subject did not let out a sound, a favorable contrast to Livia, who waited for him outside these Citadel walls. 

He was going to mold them into something useful.

[qiupachups]

miles.g / wiles

.｡.+*☆ headcannons 👾💭

contents: general hcs, mention of his father’s death, i call 42-miles ‘wiles’, me sorta bullying him

a/n: after a lot of procrastination and harassment gentle encouragement from @vhstown i’m finally posting my hcs. :3c (they’ve been sitting here since july)

Despite his tough guy exterior and criminal career, he's actually a massive nerd geek. Like: gundham, comics, posters all over his room.

Until you bring up those interests, he won't mention them. But once you start a conversation about them, he can tell you all the lore front to back or tell you where and when each collectible is from. Just listening to Wiles and nodding along will make his day.

Accepting help from others is not an option. Ever. He's an overly D.I.Y guy since his father's death and it's staying that way.

... unless you're very close to him. Wiles will begrudgingly accept your help and then be adamant on repaying you. No matter how trivial it was, he'll show his gratitude through service.

Wiles has great memory and knows all the lyrics to his favourite songs. Go through his playlist and pick something at random- he'll recite them flawlessly!

A good memory also helps with remembering those flashes of songs playing on your lock screen. Just a split second glance? He's adding it to his playlist, maybe listening to it as he works on his latest gear.

Would be a straight A student if he were there half the time. The only thing keeping his total grades down is attendance, where he’s often absent.

However, if he’s in a group project with you, Wiles will put more effort into it. Getting a ‘C’ or GPA point lower is fine if it means keeping Brooklyn safer. What’s not fine is him being the reason for your lower marks.

Unlike his counterpart from 1610, Wiles’ art is more realistic. He tries to capture the subjects’ essence quickly and minimally, so colours are an afterthought.

Accuracy was his pride in art until it came to you. He’d be so nervous in getting your smile right, scribbling failed attempts over and over again. Wiles even resorted to a pencil sketch.

Following the passing of Jefferson, Wiles has gotten much closer to Rio. That’s a no brainer; he was fourteen— a kid. And Jefferson never got to see his son in that overpriced Visions uniform.

Wiles makes an effort to speak more Spanish. He lets his mamí braid his hair even if it hurts like hell. Those stupid telenovelas aren’t that bad on the second watch.

Once upon a time, Wiles used to be a choir boy (keyword: used). He’d love singing hymns and doing nativities before he could read; all for his mamí and dad to see.

However, the christmas after Jefferson’s passing felt… empty. Wiles quickly lost his passion for choir and now just attends mass with Rio at most.

After years of experience being a choir boy, Wiles has the voice of an angel. Not that you’d know, of course— he intends to take that to the grave. But there’s also a deeper, darker secret… he can’t rap to save his life.

An extremely personal and harrowing Musically comment told him so. Following that attack, twelve year old Wiles abandoned his account with only a black profile picture left behind.

Like any other middle schooler, Wiles had a hype beast phase (he denies it). When Aaron got a Hype shirt for Wiles’ 12th birthday, words couldn’t describe how he almost knocked Aaron down with a hug.

The shirt’s first stain had Wiles distraught and furiously searching ‘remove paint on shirt hacks’ on Youtube. His heart would probably stop if he misplaced a gift from you.

Wiles isn’t the best cook, but he can definitely make himself a good meal. With Rio working night shifts and Uncle Aaron doing… jobs, he has to be self-sufficient.

A secret lil’ side project: he’s trying and failing to replicate Jefferson’s mac ‘n cheese. It wasn’t the best, but it was his. Something’s always off when Wiles makes it and he’s not quite sure what.

Sure, cooking isn’t that hard, but baking is like wizardry to Wiles. AP Chemistry and it’s endless calculations felt way easier than making pan de agua with his mamí.

But, mamí didn’t raise no quitter! On a particularly busy birthday, Wiles pulled together a modest little cake for Rio. She burst into tears seeing the shaky ‘!Feliz Cumple!’ written in too-sweet icing.

Calling Earth-42 a wreck is a massive understatement. Shit’s like Gotham, only very real and very deadly. Just breathing in that damn city air makes Wiles’ skin crawl.

Luckily, he’s got an outlet: boxing. A fun hobby he picked up from Uncle Aaron became his release. Wiles might never be in the ring, but Brooklyn’s more than enough.

a/n #2: what the fuck. this was supposed to be short and silly and fun. exsqueeze me how did this… erm. disjointed mess.

[usergif]

RESOURCE DIRECTORY 2.0 + HOW TO NAVIGATE USERGIF

Hello! We hit 10k followers! I want to take this moment to thank all our wonderful followers and the talented members of usergif! We created this blog less than 2 years ago and are constantly blown away by your support and beautiful creations. As a thank-you, we're proud to announce our new and improved resource directory!!! Shout out to arithemes' custom page which allowed us to create a more streamlined and organized directory for everyone to use. Under the cut, you'll find a guide to help you find exactly the resource you're looking for on our blog. Happy gifmaking! :)

THE UPDATED DIRECTORY

All resources are in alphabetical order first by the creator's URL (at the time of entry), then by the resource's title. Each title is a clickable link that'll redirect you to the original post. Beneath that, you'll find the creator's URL and the resource's relevant filter tags:

As always, whenever I add new entries to the directory, you'll see the last date listed on the right side of the blog here:

If you don't see one of your recent tutorials listed there, please be patient. I update the directory on a monthly basis, but only add resources that have already exited our queue.

THE FILTERS

Please note: the Source section has exclusive filters, meaning you can only select one at a time. In the Type and Effects sections, you can select as many filters as you want. However, if you select 2 filters in one section, like "animated" and "blending," it'll show results for any resource with either of those tags, not necessarily resources that include both of those tags.

Here's a breakdown of how we categorize our resources:

Source: ↳ all: posted by any creator ↳ usergif: posted by usergif

Type: ↳ all: click this to reset filter selections ↳ action: pre-recorded photoshop functions that can be replayed ↳ basics: non-effects-related resources to help new gifmakers get their feet off the ground (please remember usergif is not a resource for beginner-level gifs and focuses on intermediate to advanced gif effects. however, we thought it would be helpful to keep some basic resources available) ↳ brush: various brush shapes like ripped paper edges or intricate textures ↳ fonts: names and links to fonts or font packs ↳ template: pre-made, downloadable layouts and designs ↳ texture: overlays that add a different finish to a gif such as Ben Day dots (retro comic dots) or glitter ↳ tutorial: any post that provides an explanation for a gif effects process ↳ other

Effect: ↳ all: click this to reset filter selections ↳ animated: an effect that applies movement to an element such as rotating text or wiggling shapes ↳ blending: aka double exposure, this effect combines two or more gifs layered on top of each other ↳ color: specifically for color manipulation, an effect in which the original colors are completely different (e.g. a blue sky colored to look pink) ↳ glitch: an effect where color channels are toggled and layered over the original gif to give a flickering effect ↳ layout: multiple gifs on one canvas like a collage (e.g. hexagon layout) or poster-style templates ↳ overlay: an added element layered above a gif (excluding text) such as a shape, another gif confined to a shape, a texture, etc. ↳ transition: an effect that stylizes the passage from one scene/clip into another, such as a fade, glitch, linear wipe, or motion blur transition ↳ typography: any kind of stylized text added over a gif (does not include basic captions)

You can find examples of all these gif effects via their respective tags on our Nav!

THE SEARCH BAR

This search bar functions the same way as the search bar in the upper right corner of our main blog and the search function on Tumblr's mobile app.

Tumblr search allows you to generate results using keywords found in the body of the post or the tags. So, if you're looking for a post but can only remember it having the word "rotoscoping," you can type that in either in the directory's search or blog's search and find any post on our blog that mentions the exact keyword "rotoscoping."

THE NAV & TAGS

Tags function differently from search keywords as these relate to exact words and phrases found only in the tags, not the body of the post. Our members use tags to categorize original posts and reblogs. Some of our most frequently used tags are listed on our Navigation Page and saved in the mobile search function pictured below:

But if you ever want to quickly navigate a tag, simply add /tagged/word to the end of our url to find that tag! For example, if you want to see all the posts we've tagged as a #tutorial, just go to usergif.tumblr.com/tagged/tutorial.

BROKEN LINKS

Whether it's due to a creator frequently changing their url, the absence of an automatic blog redirect, or my own mistakes when coding the directory — you may stumble upon a broken link. Here's what to do:

If a creator has changed their username but their blog doesn't automatically redirect you to the new blog, check if they listed their new user name in the title of their old blog like I did:

In this case, simply replace the url you landed on with this new url. For example, https://sith-maul.tumblr.com/post/692130400398704640/how-to-make-an-animated-google-search-overlay-a → would become → https://cal-kestis.tumblr.com/post/692130400398704640/how-to-make-an-animated-google-search-overlay-a

However, if you can't figure out the creator's new url or in the case that I messed up the link due to human error, feel free to send us a message so I can help find the source or correct the mistake!

WHERE TO FIND THIS INFO AGAIN

If you ever need to access this guide while using the directory, simply click the "i" button here:

And that's it! We hope this revamped directory is a lot more efficient and helpful. Thank you again for all your support and for helping us reach this follower milestone!

[abrandnewshadow]

the only proof I can rely on in 2024 that frank/ft willz were one and the same.

ft willz myspace blog poem "shits bananas when you're disinterested" exactly matches the one posted on franks 2013 website- crediting himself at the end. a very unique title for it to be coincidental.

this and the eyeball

this eyeball thumbnail from the 2008 skeletoncrew website is labelled as f.t.willz and will bring you to their poems. (eyeball w/ text) the other pictures of the respective artists bring you to their work.

The one that looks like it could be franks eyeball is the one that will bring you to ft willz poetry. i'm all but convinced.

upon investigating the poems, there are no matches for ft willz poems on franks website except "shits bananas"

here is how you can search frank's old website for keywords. no known texts from ft willz can be found. besides "shits bananas"

by that same method, you can search for ft willz or ftw from 2005-2014 skeletoncrewonline.com here

this image below has long served as the main piece of evidence of ft willz. reposted tons but no source.

The first is supposedly from ft willz myspace blog, the second is the same poem on franks website.

The ft willz version of this cannot be sourced. maybe someone can find it. but the source to that image has never been around. just reposted.

wayback machine has very few captures of ft willz myspace blog (like 10) and only one poem can be traced to frank.

I get that it is almost as crazy to believe the "I really like you" myspace screenshot is fake than to believe it's real.

If it's fake, they did a real good job making it look real. but text is so easy to shop, even in 2014.

So I have disposed of the "from my head to my middle finger" aspect of this theory. there just is not enough proof.

another impossible to source thing: the weird bible ft willz fans worship

there is a master compilation of "frank and ft willz" poetry pdf that an entire subreddit uses as its main resource- and most everyone who believes ft willz just accepts it as legitimate.

but whos to say the person that made it didn't just open word and get angsty? no one knows where it came from and no one can say how they got it.

this pdf is troubling because it provides many new works supposedly by frank/ft willz and many accept it all as franks words- without any proof of who the words it came from.

eyeball links: jpg, jpg with text, authors page with thumbnail "writings"- link is dumb and old)

ftw myspace

frank iero 2013 website

petition for frank to either deny/confirm the pen name (for what it's worth)

@myxchemicalximbalance edited this post with your frank photo. thank you so much for finding the eye pull frank picture so I could compare and contrast with the ft willz eyeball. it's pretty close I thought it was the same damn picture at first.

[bridgetoesoteria]

🖤Breaking baddie🖤: Describing your 'dark feminine' energy. How to channel it?

Hola malacitas 😘 (i hope that actually made sense lol).

First things first, what is "dark feminine" energy?

Yes, this is the **first website that comes up when you google "dark feminine," but it is pretty thorough and comprehensive! I liked it the most out of all the others. The others either repeated the same points or had too many outdated/black-or-white views. Feel free to do your own research however. There are plenty of videos on YouTube as well. **One caveat...when you get to the part about tapping into DF energy, I disagree with #8 (specifically).

(We're going to keep this post light and I'll dedicate a separate post to my personal viewpoints.)

So I will be telling you all about your personal DF "archetype." I will also provide guidance on how you channel your DF energy.

I am so so excited for this! Eek 🙊 Okay, options below, left to right. I hope it resonates!

I am using a few different decks. I won't be adding pictures but I will provide what cards I drew.

Pile 1

Off the bat: I am hearing "no fuss" and also "ruthless," which is interesting considering the image you chose. I was also hearing the lyrics "all I do is win, win, win no matter what." So I'm getting some really bad ass energy right away! Come thru mob girlies!

4-Card Spread: 4 of Diamonds, 8 of Diamonds, 7 of Hearts, Joker. Bottom of deck is 6 of Clubs.

It's funny you have the 6 of Clubs (wands) on the bottom of the deck. I was hearing those lyrics about winning. This is a card that signifies victory and public recognition or celebration. I feel like the DF side of you is really bad ass! I'm also getting a pinch of "lover girl" energy. Its kind of like you have perfect formula sugar+sheist+everything nice! lol

This energy isn't afraid to be in the spotlight but is also quite comfortable in the shadows. You may be (or this is what other people think) the type to use underhanded to get ahead. Its not personal but you gotta do what you gotta do. I'm also getting an energy of it is easy for people (I'm hearing "dudes" so maybe some of you talk like that) to get attached and feel led on. But I think you are married to the hustle.

Some of you may not regularly reside in this energy and could be put off by the description. But that is exactly why its dark feminine energy. It pokes and antagonizes the status quo, which is where most of us reside from day to day. Traditionally, feminines are not painted as cunning, street-wise, heartbreakers. Your DF energy pushes back against those constraints placed on feminines that require prioritizing the group over self. Not that anyone asked but I think that's actually kind of amazing.

Of course you don't have to reside in this energy and adopt some toxic alter ego, but there probably are some gems hidden here. People who move like this are usually made, not born. In some way, they learned that survival=competition, so you learn to "stay ready so you don't have to get ready." Your motto as a DF would be "every (wo)man for themselves," making betrayals feel less personal because...well it just isn't, as crazy as that sounds.

Advice: The Devil, Queen of Swords, King of Wands, The Star. Bottom of deck is 7 of Swords + Mute (Oracle)

I'm getting a strong message about speaking up. I am using Tarot de Carlotydes and in this deck the 7 of Swords is depicted as a sword swallower. Which I always interpret as "swallowing" the truth. Then as I was focusing on this group's image, I realized the cabinet behind her is full of skulls, reminding me of "skeletons in the closet." Then finally we have a literal Mute card:

The Mute is told what to hear, say and think and is often suppressed. Sometimes breaking the chains against heeded words may be rewarded.

So you currently may be the complete opposite of your DF energy. One of the keywords for the Mute is "insecurities." I feel like a lot of you are sleeping on yourselves. 🔊AND ITS TIME TO WAKE THE F UP!

Maybe you are trapped in your light feminine energy. I say trapped because it feels like you are forced into that box. Super passive, loss of control. Where your DF energy would insist on speaking up and standing out, you may just keep your head down and avoid any trouble.

I'm hearing specifically that some of you love writing poetry but may have someone who discourages you from pursuing this interest. You may want to present your poetry to an audience and they tell you that no one wants to hear what you have to say. For others, they are saying no one wants to hear from you about something else.

If you are used to toxic and restrictive connections or friendships, you are being called to step out of that. Get used to asserting your boundaries, "do not speak down about my hobbies," "if you cannot allow me to think for myself, then we can not continue our relationship." I think you definitely have it in you.

Another keyword listed is "hope." I think some of you may enjoy singleness and being single-mindedly focused on you and your goals, more fulfilling than you think. It can be healing to finally feel like the star of your show.

TL;DR: Your DF energy definitely has a bit of edge to her. She does what she has to do to move ahead and she prefers to fly solo. Even if that is not where you are right now, this energy already exists within you. Once you drop the dead weight--be it toxic family, toxic friends, or a toxic partner--you will see how quickly you flourish. You have every right to speak your truth and protect your peace. Its time to peel yourself off the wallpaper and start standing out and speaking up!

Pile 2

Off the bat: I wasn't getting anything with this group. I found that strange and wondered if I wasn't "tuned in." I think this represents your mental space when you are in your DF energy. You are clear minded and have a "sober" outlook. Maybe some of you are literally sober or are considering it.

4-Card Spread: 2 of Clubs, Queen of Spades, 8 of Spades (R), Ace of Hearts/7 of diamonds. Bottom of deck is 9 of diamonds.

I am very strongly getting that there is something noteworthy about your DF's decision making abilities. Maybe that sounds "boring," but its actually pretty admirable! The world often sends the message that feminine energy does not possess strong cognitive abilities. When feminines contradict this stereotype, they can be labeled as "cold," "mean," "masculine," or met with hostility.

I'm honestly getting that the DF in you does not care. You may naturally lean more to this side in every day life. Or this is where you could be if you tapped into your DF energy more often.

You make clear decisions and keep it moving. You do not allow your thoughts to keep you tangled up in a web of confusion and indecision. Some of you could be really good at chess. I am getting that kind of energy. Calculated, self-assured, and making decisions with no intentions of taking it back.

You are quite comfortable standing on your own, and pouring into your own little world. I get the image of a woman who lives on a quiet estate, walking through her garden, with birds chirping and flying above. Have any of you watched the movie Men (2022)? I loved the imagery in that film and that's kind of the vibe I am getting now. A lot of horse girlies may have picked this pile.

I feel you being very unbothered, above drama. Your DF energy would love to find a masculine that can match your energy. You are good on your own so you won't allow anyone disruptive into your peaceful little domain. You do not make impulsive decisions in love and you are willing to wait for a new opportunity that is worth the investment. With the king of diamonds two cards under the 9 of diamonds, I do feel like this DF energy could pull the kind of masculine you desire.

Your DF energy really shines in STEM related jobs, corporate spaces, or any position that requires a sharp mind.

Advice: Ace of Swords, 10 of Swords, 4 of Wands, Knight of Cups. Bottom of deck is 10 of Wands + Spider (Oracle)

As soon as I pulled the ace of swords, I heard "get used to speaking your truth." I also heard stop entertaining "little boys." I don't think this is in terms of age, I think this referring to the maturity level of masculine energies you may usually deal with. I am in no way encouraging that you pursue anyone older. (Honestly, that does not guarantee emotional maturity or respect. But that's another convo).

I think this message is about the expectations you set for your partners. There is nothing wrong with expecting them to match you. They can either rise to the occasion or be left behind. If you hold this potential inside of you to be a queen of swords, queen of pentacles, and 9 of pentacles. Then I'm sure that energy exists out there in a suitable counterpart. The ten of wands is encouraging you to keep forging forward. I don't like preaching to be "strong" and "endure," but this is different. You are being strong for yourself. If you have to walk alone right now, it gets tough at times, but you are doing it with purpose. It will pay off.

For some this may literally require you to live alone. Its interesting that I keep getting messages about homes. I got a lot of diamonds/pentacles in the last spread, which also can deal with the home and related practical matters. "Home" is one of the keywords for Spider. The Moon is on the bottom of the deck, I think it is also relevant. This is what the guidebook has to say about each:

The Spider traps those who wander into her web. Keywords: Control, Home, Familiarity, Comfort, Trapped, Security. The Moon is not always as she seems. Her delicate glow seeks for hidden truths while blinding others to her own. Keywords: Confusion, Apprehension, Suspicion, Feelings.

You may need to be more discerning when it comes to who you let into your home and/or your heart. You might need to create a little confusion when it comes to what your next move is. Everyone does not deserve your energy or to be held on to.

Spiders can also be associated with anxiety. In regular tarot, I do consider the moon to be a card that can speak about mental health. So some of you may need to make these changes for your own sanity, literally.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is a very strong and self-sufficient queen of swords type. She thinks clearly, can make decisions without questioning herself, and always stands on business. She has high standards for those who come around her because she has built a beautiful life for herself and will vet anyone who wants to join. This self-respect and authenticity helps to attract a suitable mate. One who can match this go-getter, no bs energy. The key to channeling this energy is to start living in it now. Trust your decision making abilities, don't announce or seek validation before you make a necessary personal decision. Staying true to yourself and becoming more independent will pay off.

Pile 3

Off the bat: When I looked at the image for your pile, I immediately heard "I'm not one of those/your little girls." So whew! We are coming in hot! Also hearing "I wish a b---- would."

4-Card Spread: 7 of Hearts, Jack of Clubs, 2 of Clubs, Joker. Bottom of deck is 5 of Hearts.

I am getting more light-hearted energy in this pile than the previous two. Maybe a lot of young, or young-at-heart, people have chosen this pile. This DF energy could easily pull many suitors but she views lovers as more of a "fun time," not so much a "long time." You could also be a little toxic toward lovers. Makeup to breakup, or honestly sometimes its just breakup lol.

This energy is quite fiery and uninhibited. Some of you could be fire signs, specifically Sagittarius. Or I am getting that because of what Sag represents: free spiritedness, adventure, luck. No wonder this DF energy resists being tied down. The world is literally your oyster and you knows it!

This DF energy is also a little scrappy. Have any of you watched the Bad Girls Club? You know how there would be that one person who has a temper, then gets a little too messed up when they go clubbing and ends up wanting to fight everyone... When you see red, people need to clear your path! I do get a bit of a party girl energy which is not surprising considering I was picking up on Sag.

This DF does not have a problem fulfilling her emotional needs. You will always make sure your cup is full. You will always make sure you are having a good time. You realizes that you have this amazing, fortunate energy and unapologetically harnesses it to get the most out of life. I think your DF self is also likely to be single and happy that way. Picking yourself up after disappointments in love is no problem because there are plenty more where they came from. You have an abundant mindset when it comes to love and life.

Advice: Queen of Wands, The Hanged Man, Ace of Swords, 5 of Cups. Bottom of deck is 5 of Swords + Ghost (Oracle)

In order to channel this DF energy, some of you may literally have to ghost someone. I am not surprised the energy of having to cut people off has been coming up. Sometimes the company we keep can really hinder our growth and self-expression. The hanged man is about surrender and next to the ace of swords, I sometimes see this combo as maintaining no contact. Ghost could also be taken literally.

But I think Ghost is also talking about a tendency toward self sabotaging and shrinking yourself. This is the total opposite of the DF energy that I just channeled. Its like the past and your insecurities have a tendency to haunt you and keep you stuck. You may also try to make yourself invisible. In the guidebook, the word forgotten repeats itself twice for this card:

The Ghost lingers, forlorn and forgotten. Keywords: Hidden, Mystery, Forgotten, Spiritual Matters, Fears, Faith

You will need to work on your self-confidence. When you are more confident in yourself, you will be more confident in your decision making abilities. You will be more authentic with the way you present yourself to the world because it won't matter whether people approve or disapprove. You know who you are. With the 5 of cups, there could be something that you are still grieving or regretting but you can bounce back from this! Channel your inner phoenix and allow yourself to blossom. Its time to reinvent yourself!

Be open to all the great things life has to offer you. Guided meditations for gratitude and self-confidence/self-love could be very beneficial. Trust that the flow of life is always leading you to something wonderful. Trust that you are allowed to call the shots in your reality. Do your part then trust and let go.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is very spicy! She is popular and free-spirited. She knows that life has so many different adventures to offer and she does not let anything stop her from exploring them. This DF is likely to be single or somewhat noncommittal. She does not mind flying solo and knows she can always find another mate. She is also quite lucky and manifests fortunate events with ease. To channel this energy you will need to drop any dead weight and increase your confidence in yourself and your decision making abilities. You could benefit from some form of self-help resources like books and guided meditations. And if it is accessible to you, therapy, support groups, or other resources that will help your create a stronger you.

Pile 4

Off the bat: I am getting a pretty serious energy. Some domme energy or you could just be a pretty dominant woman. This could be describing you or your DF energy. I keep hearing strawberries and champagne. Is that even a real thing? I've never met anyone who enjoyed that combo.

4-Card Spread: 4 of Clubs, Jack of Diamonds, Ace of Hearts, and Ace of Spades. Bottom of deck is Queen of Spades

I am still getting some of that super assertive and stern feminine energy. I could see your DF self working being a principal. I am also hearing headmaster/headmistress. I think she would love working with children but not in the traditional, mushy-gushy light feminine way. Its more of a "I have/enforce rules because I love you" type of energy . You believe in structure and order. If this isn't working with children, this could also apply to raising children. I could also see this DF running an orphanage. I did hear "rule the roost" while I was shuffling, so no matter how this resonates, you definitely are not afraid to lead.

You are generous and wise. Beneath the stern exterior is a lot of love and compassion. Your soft spots are not visible until you take a closer look at what you invest your time and energy into. This kind of energy could also attract less mature suitors, because it intimidates them yet they are so infatuated. You carry yourself with grace and probably won't entertain them. You are much more suited to be their mentor than anything.

Going back to the original domme energy I was getting. You may actually prefer partnerships that allow you to wear the pants. You don't really want a masculine energy coming in and dictating to you. You can run your own life just fine and would rather partner up with someone who can understand that. I don't think you want someone that is "weak" either, its more like you desire the cliche of the masculine that calls the shots in the board room but is more submissive/passive at home. They are secure enough to be with a feminine energy as strong as them.

Some of you as DF would be comfortable living a "nontraditional" life. Nontraditional as far as feminine energy is concerned anyway. You may prefer live-in partners, or life partners, over traditional marriage. You could identify with being poly or something similar. You would love to travel and always seek to broaden your horizons. This is the type of person you would expect to have "summer homes." You could also decide to not have children or you would want to wait on having/adopting children. You love living authentically because of how freeing it is to just be you. You don't care what outsiders think of your life because you know you are doing what works best for you.

Advice: 3 of Swords, 5 of Pentacles, 9 of Swords, Queen of Wands (R). Bottom of deck is The Devil + Soil (Oracle)

To channel this DF energy more, you will need to master the art of not giving a shit. Some of you could be currently suppressing this energy. I really don't think its that far out of reach for all of you. Its just your fear that is keeping you trapped.

For some of you this trapped feeling is because you are in the closet. I am not telling you to come out because I don't know how that would impact your life. I want you to stay safe! However, maybe you can seek out queer friendly spaces. Or spaces that are supportive of whatever group you identify with.

There could also be a heartbreak that has left you questioning yourself. In the Tarot de Carlotydes, the 9 of swords is depicted as a woman chained in a dark room, with a flower in her hand and broken heart drawn on a piece of paper. I always see this card as being tortured over a disappointment. In this particular deck, I see as a mental prison that you feel trapped in because you are clinging to and rehashing an event. Holding onto this event keeps the pain fresh or recurring. It is time to release it.

Do not internalize other people's actions and shortcomings. It is not a reflection of you. You are who you decide to be. Do not dim your shine for anyone. Do not stunt your growth either. I'm not sure what it is that is holding you back but you have the potential to be the brightest star! You can be strong, and confident, and assertive. There is this little ball of power inside of you, that can grow if you allow it. Soil echoes the same message I am seeing in tarot. You must let yourself bloom:

The soil is a conduit of both growth and decay. Eyes forward, rooted to the past and reaching to the skies, she'll grow. Keywords: Balance, Forward, Growth, Duty, Building.

Some of you may use less than healthy tactics to cope. Maybe you should think of yourself like a plant. What are you fertilizing your soil with? What are you using for watering? Put the best in, get the best out.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is a L-E-A-D-E-R, okay?! She calls the shots in every area of her life. Some suitors are attracted to her because their immaturity is infatuated with her self-assured, mature energy. However, she prefers an equally strong partner at her side but this does not mean she wants to be led. No, she wants someone that respects her as an equal but allows her to take the lead. She lives life on her terms, loves on her terms, and does not care what anyone else thinks of that. She does have a soft spot but that is not for everyone. This nurturing energy could be channeled into working with children in some capacity. In order to step into this energy, you will have to untether yourself from insecurity and heartbreak. You already have this power inside of you, its only a matter of letting it grow. You don't have to deny what you have been through or the way it impacts you, but it also does not have to hold you back. Replace your unhealthy coping mechanisms with healthy ones.

As previously stated, I have a planned post that will expand on my views about feminine energy and other spiritual topics. I am really looking forward to sharing my thoughts and hope you all will chime in! I would love to start a discussion.

Until then ❤

~ K

[aokoaoi]

— pairings : neteyam x fem!reader

— warnings : fluff. angst. no comfort. character death. major atwow spoilers.

— authors note : if you know me, i mainly wrote shuri fanfics. but now is the time for a new phase:p. might still post about shuri, keyword : might. anyways, happy new years to those who've just reached the first of january !

To Neteyam, you're like a rare precious gem no na'vi has ever discovered. You were like no other, and that's what got him attached to you.

At first, it was just friendship. Sharing memories together, sharing laughs and jokes, and even in those raids you were still with eachother. But then that friendship turned into something more romantically involved as he realized.

He hid his feelings for you, afraid of what would happen if your feelings weren't mutual. He definitely couldn't tell you, not when everything is already perfect as it is.

When his father announced that they'll be finding a home in the Metkayina clan in order to keep their current home safe, he saw the surprise in your eyes. A flash of worry and fright glistened in your eyes, and immediately you stubbornly argued with the clan leader.

It was like you weren't even afraid of his father at all, and no matter how much he rejected your offers to come with them just to be with Neteyam, you just put a furious pout in your face. Eventually, you used the 'Sully's stick together' weapon on the clan leader.

Of course, you weren't a Sully. But to the Sully's, you were basically family to them. Neytiri treated you like you were her daughter every moment you're with her, and to the siblings, you're basically like a guardian angel. To Jake though, you're a stubborn little prick. But not in a way that he disliked it.

And then the siblings got involved. Mainly Tuktirey.

Poor little girl was clinging in your leg, wanting you to come as well. She grew a soft spot in your heart, she was so dear to you even you can't resist her. When Tuk was putting up a pouty show for you and Jake, he eventually agreed to let you come with an annoyed grunt and a roll of his eyes.

When it was the time to learn the ways of the Metkayina, you were oddly fast to adjust, with the help of Tsireya of course.

You comforted him when he still wasn't making progress and even offered to help him even though you only knew so little. You first taught him breathing exercises like how Tsireya taught you. It took a couple of minutes because of how distracted you two would get, but he eventually got the hang of it.

But then you two spent less time together now that you were learning on your own. It saddened him, yes, but at the same time he wished you learned more with him instead of learning with the Metkayina's.

He eventually saw that you were drifting apart, and how he saw you less and less each day. He didn't know why, and you never told him why. He wondered what could have gotten you so distracted to the point you rarely talk to him anymore.

He saw you once and only got to talk to you once when Kiri had a seizure underwater. You rushed in with a worried look, and you turned to the na'vi nearest to you to ask what happened. And that na'vi was him.

Small words, short sentences. That was it.

You immediately ran to Kiri when she gained consciousness, your knees scraping the ground from how you you hastily crouched down to her level beside Neytiri, your hand on her shoulder rubbing comforting circles as she held her weeping daughter.

It was when he got the point. You didn't want anything to do with him anymore, that's alright with him. He'll give you your space if that's what you wished for. He'll avoid you, He'll not talk to you, but that's not stopping him from thinking about you all the time.

A painful feeling ached in his chest when he sees you with the Metkayina siblings, Ao'nung and Tsireya. You won't even talk to his own siblings anymore, not even Tuk.

Even though he didn't fully understand as to why you're doing this. he'll let you go.

He let's you go, even though he still thinks about you. Even in the battle field. Even when his siblings have been caught by the humans. And even when a bullet has been shot through his chest.

He wonders about what you'd think about him if you saw him now. Bleeding and vulnerable.

'Skxawng.'

He can't help but smile at the thought as his brother puts him up on a rock, his sibling and his father surrounding him. Jake orders Lo'ak to put pressure on his chest, and the boy does so. Lo'ak sees a small smile on his brother's face.

"What you smiling about, huh? During this situation?" He attempted to tease him, but the worry on his voice laced his normal teasing tone.

"Thinking about her." Neteyam says after a few beats of silence, tears swelling up his eyes as he struggles to stay awake and breathe. Lo'ak stares at him, breath hitching when he understood what his brother meant.

Neytiri then landed beside them, rushing immediately to her son worridly. She yells in agony, falling onto her knees and beside Neteyam.

Tuk exclaims something as they heard a flapping on the waters nearing them, and on instinct, Spider turned to the source. You almost fell off your ilu when you rushed to the bleeding boy, your feet harshly scraping on the rocks, making cuts in your feet.

You fell onto your knees as your breathing became uneven and harsh. Neteyams eyes glossed over your face, contemplating if you were real or if he was dreaming. Your tears fell onto his cheeks, and then he was reminded this was reality.

Your voice let's out small whimpers of 'no's, your hand touching the sides of his face as your thumb brushed against his cheeks. You feel a hand on your back, and you recognized the feeling of his father's hand immediately.

"N-neteyam, I'm here. Okay? I'm here now." He heard your soft voice call out to him. Oh how he missed that voice so much.

You let out a heavy sob, one hand coming down to his wounded chest as you tried to put pressure on it as well. Your ears attempted to silence the boys struggled breathing and small chokes as it brought more tears to your eyes.

He attempts to speak, but only ends up choking for air.

"..I want to go home." He chokes out, tears cascading down his cheeks as you caressed it. Jake let's out a heavy sound at his words, fighting the tears in his eyes as he went closer to his son.

"I know, I know. We're going home." Jake struggles the words out, leaning more towards Neteyam as you made more space for his son.

"We're going home, it's okay." The father comforts, his big hand coming to Neteyams cheek. You let out a pained breath at his words, your vision bluring from the tears collecting in your eyes.

Silence rang around you as Neteyam calls out for his father, but was unable to finish. Your heart stopped there, and your lip twitched into a frown. You watched as his pupils dilated as your hand felt his chest stop beating.

"Neteyam." You call out, your hand leaving his chest. You hear a sigh from beside you, and then Neytiris cries. Your heart ached as you watched Neytiri desperately shake her son awake, your lips twitching into a frown as the tears that collected in your eyes finally cascaded down your face.

My son.

Neytiri yelled, her voice breaking.

"I'm so sorry." You sniffed out, grasping Neteyams hands. You imagine the warmth in them like always when you get the chance to hold him. But now it was cold.

Cold.

Lifeless.

You brought his hand to your lips, and to your cheek. "My love, I'm sorry." You whispered into his hand, your warm breath hitting the coldness of his hand.

You then felt a body engulfing you, sobbing into your shoulder. Tsireya. Her arms held your shaking body as your let out harsh sobs, your lungs struggling to breathe air.

You shut your eyes tightly. You can't bare to see the sight of a woman you considered as your mother cry and desperately yell for her son. You can bare to see Lo'ak as his hands were bloodied with his brother's blood. You didn't want to see them suffer anymore. You wished it hadn't ended like this.

The boy you loved was now laid on the ground, unmoving, a mother was calling for Eywa's help to save her son. A son, who had to face his unfortunate fate all because of one man.

How can mankind be so cruel?

[edelfie]

#𝓣𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘! this means war.

while you are off doing your own thing, being controversial and whatnot, a certain pest in your side seems to be buzzing about. unfortunately for her though, she’ll have to try a little harder to keep up with you.

or, lia loses her mind a little

POST CREDITS! —

As far as Lia is concerned, you are nothing more than an obstacle in her way. Sure, a persistently irritating obstacle, but a measly one nonetheless. Whatever game you were trying to get at wouldn't work on her.

She really shouldn't be wasting her energy on you anyways. She already has everything she wants: the best job in the world, all the money a girl could dream of, and her fiancé. Keyword: hers. Perhaps she is a bit territorial, but isn't it natural for any girl to be with their things?

Following their heated argument though, she isn't so certain where she stands with the man in question. She knew her words were hurtful the moment her fingers flung across the screen, and she won't fawn and play innocent knowing that was exactly why she sent them in the first place. It's just...so hard to communicate her emotions to Atsumu when he takes everything she says or does as a joke.

It's funny. Everyone in her life has expressed their own feelings about the constant push and pull of their relationship. Years of infrequent dating and uncertain feelings culminating into a very real, very permanent engagement was not how she envisioned their relationship ending. Because while Lia thinks she loves Atsumu, she knows he's difficult to be with.

When they were younger and had just started dated, she gave him the benefit of the doubt more often than not. That he was simply "like that", constantly riding on the brink and not giving a damn about what others thought about him. And to a degree, she found him aspirational for that and even wanted to replicate him in that sense.

That was, until, it started affecting her work. She began losing brand deals and sponsorships because the boy she was dating couldn't behave himself for the two hours he was in public. It was ridiculous! At times, it felt like she wasn't his girlfriend, but his mother, his publicist, and his manager all in one. And maybe that does make her selfish for not going to his games, but when does she get to be selfish in their relationship?

She feels the most empowered, the most authentic, the most selfish every time she calls it off. She gets to enjoy her freedom, then watch as Atsumu comes crawling back to her. Sometimes he outright says he'll change (he doesn't usually), or he'll demand that she "match his effort" (she won't). Maybe it's antithetical to some, but for Lia it just makes sense.

So despite dating Atsumu Miya being equivalent to forcing a square into a circle, Lia would rather die than let anyone take him away from her.

NOTES! —

Sorry for the smaller chapter today! I just couldn’t think of a way to fluff it up that wouldn’t already be included in future chapters. If I do get any ideas though, I’ll be sure to update this and post a notif. Also, Lia isn't meant to be like a token "mean girl", she's very flawed and human and that's a result of her environment. She is still bitchy of course, but not evil. Anyways, today’s fundraiser is to help the Liberty Lancers Marching Band purchase new uniforms! While it may seem miniscule compared to other "issues", as someone who's partner marches and has come to love band themselves, having new uniforms would mean the world for these students. You can click here to donate or read more on their story.

In other news, I am back from my (tiny) break! Though I’ll admit, I didn’t use that time wisely to plan ahead for my next releases LOL. I had fun though! Starting on Friday evening, I made a new group of friends! I signed up to be in a buddy-program with international students, and I found out my buddy that day (if that makes sense). I’m so lucky because we have so much in common! My buddy and I (plus another buddy pair we’re friends with) went to a football game on Saturday, but I only really cared for the pretzels and marching band LOL. The opposing team’s band was so good and I was literally mesmerized by their majorette dancers.

And then I presented my speech in class on Tuesday, which wasn’t as scary as I thought but I’m still glad it’s over LMAO. After that I went to the gym to work out for about 30 mins, before heading home to go on a date with my partner. We walked around downtown and went bowling, to which he absolutely wiped the floor with me I fear. And then today in one of my classes we had a rock, paper, scissors tournament (gotta love college LOL) and…I WON! We did it a few times but I just kept winning or getting very close, so I was named the RPS champion. Anyways, here’s a picture of me and my buddy down below ^-^

PREV + MASTERLIST + NEXT

© all rights reserved—edelfie (2024) // do not plagiarize, modify, copy, use, translate, or repost my work on other sites without permission

[jiminsass-istant]

SMERALDO GARDEN MARCHING BAND : NOT JUST A FUN SONG

One thing you can expect before listening to any Jimin song for the first time is that NO TWO SONGS WILL EVER BE THE SAME.

Naturally I had too many questions when I watched the SGMB Track video!

Face was about inner reflection and tragedy, while MUSE is apparently about Jimin's artistic inspiration. Since the entire Muse album is not out yet, I kept wondering how SGMB fit into the 'artistic inspiration' concept. What do we learn about Jimin in SGMB? But most importantly, who is Jimin's muse?

********************************************************************

To answer, let's look at Jimin's intents. I divided them into 2 parts:

"Tell things we/he couldn't before"

A recurring thing we have seen in chapter 2 Jimin is his desire to "tell everything he couldn't before", and this started right from 2022 Festa dinner:

True to his words, he started being more honest and telling us his story in Face. That's how we knew he had already started expressing more truth than he ever had before. Not only that, in the BTS documentary, Jimin even opened up about his depression while dining with JK.

But was that ALL he had to say? NO! Because he says this in Closer Than this which was released in dec 2023 ->

Since CTT is clearly a fan song, he is addressing fans here when he says that he wants to reveal everything to his fans. Going by the bangtan lore, I think we can safely conclude that here 'spring day' for bts refers to the day they are reunited with their fans again (2025), that is - post military. Meaning, Jimin will keep revealing things through his music well after MS is over.

A wonderful army pointed out that the english lyrics of SGMB are not entirely correct. The line "I'll tell you everything now" should actually be "i'll reveal everything on your behalf", which brings us to Jimin's second intent-

2) "The truth untold"

The BTS unit song TTU speaks about how the protagonist is unable to confess their feelings to their love because they consider themselves ugly and unworthy (due to lack of self-love).

In the first teaser for Muse, Jimin found the music sheet for The Truth Untold inside the purple lockers. And then he releases SGMB which is basically the positive (and happy future) version of TTU.

The twitter thread i referred to previously explains this very well and all of you should read it:

Let's now look at some of my personal observations in the MV before i put on my delulu cape.

Jimin's showmanship:

Jimin is basically a host, a presenter, cupid, and the lead of Smeraldo Garden marching band. It's like he entered the Smeraldo garden of thorns and despair along with his band to help the protagonist reveal their true feelings to their loved one. The garden is now lively with all positive elements- dance, kids, butterflies, bubbles, confetti. It showcases Jimin's change in attitude and how he has truly begun to love himself. That's why when Jimin says :

" Ooh, I love you babe I'll come closer to you I love you, babe (Yes, sir) Ooh, I want you, babe I wanna hold your hand I want you, babe"

He's saying this on behalf of the protagonist. That's what Smeraldo Garden Marching Band does- it helps people in despair, helps them to express love.

2) Jimin is NOT homophobic!

People really used the scene of Jimin separating the sapphic couple as him being anti-gay. Let me show you the scenes where Jimin took the flower from a guy. Look at the guy's stance, look at the lyrics. The correct translation for the lyrics in the image is " the truth untold". He is indeed referring to a hidden truth in this particular scene, 'hidden' being the keyword here, which i'm sure the lgbtq+ community is more than familiar with.

To realize the importance of this scene, just go to any reactor and see their face when they see Jimin accepting a flower from a man. They hold their breath only to release it when they see him playing matchmaker to hetero couples. Don't you just love Jimin's brain? lol.

Let's look at the 2nd scene of Jimin giving a flower to another man-

Again, Jimin is bowing down this time, while the adlibs go "just for you". Jimin is not just being a 'wingman' here as some might think- a wingman doesn't 'present' flowers like this. He is subtle and this is him recognizing all sorts of relationships.

3) The sunflowers face the viewer, not Jimin or his band. The sunflowers face the...SUN. I think I am starting to wear the delulu cape here (yes i mean cape and not cap). We all know from Jimin's innumerable moon references that he associates himself with the moon, not the sun. The sun tattoo haver has always been the sun from the sun-and-moon duo. Just like the moon tattoo haver is the moon of the duo.

So this whole time Jimin has been talking to the protagonist of TTU- is it Jungk-

NO NO WAIT! Didn't Jimin just sing -

"Since we're together now"..together as in...

("Yes Sir!")🤷‍♀️

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't we clarify last time that being 'together' means 'dating' in Korean, as in most other languages of this world?! Ahem.

Look like someone is getting 'serenaded' as in 'serenade' version of Muse.

*sighs very loudly*

Disclaimer: Just because i made a jikook interpretation of the song doesn't mean i don't recognize and agree with non-shipping interpretations. *sigh*

Anyway, there is another interpretation of SGMB by andy-wm. I really loved the pantomime comparison:

And another by jimin-bangtan:

Trust that if Jikook make 'yes sir' jokes in the travel series, I'm gonna lose it. Just a little bit.

I cannot wait for the rest of the album! These are all love songs. We are getting happy-sappy Jimin you all ! The Jimin who went through so many struggles is finally loving himself and has learnt to be happy with his loved ones.

[world-in-a-nook]

Prediction : the tragedy of Amorpheus

Welcome one and all to my theory crafting around the next HSR planet !

For this, we will use Black Swan's lines about Amphoreus and try to analyse and probably theorize on what Amphoreus' story will be about.

I hope that you pardon my english, it isn't my first language.

I- The story of the planet II-The three paths

I- The story of the planet

A- The state of the planet

First of all, we have all the flags abount an antiquity inspired planet : the name of the achievement, the planet's name and so on.

We also know that the planet is only accessible through "the light from the mirror of the Garden of Recollection" and that Akivilli never reached Amphoreus.

So here is my theory : we are going to use the Graden of Recollection's miror to go back in time to when Amphoreus existed/was in better shape.

The keywords from Black Swan are "reached" and that it "only" possible through the Garden of Recollection. We know that the Garden's task is to gather memories to make sure that the universe is remembered after the Destruction. We also know that their members can "freely traverse between worlds, unconstrained by physical limits." (Data bank ; Factions)

We have seen that with Black Swan and the dreamscape : she can freely go from the dreamscape to reality. So that means that they aren't affected by space. But what if they aren't affected by Time either ? Then, only people unaffected by time from the Garden of Recollection could access Amphoreus, and such Akivilli would have never reached Amphoreus.

This would also explain why the Astral Express would never need fuel after that : it would make it a timeless machine, that goes beyond time and space, a paradox. In a more darker turn of events, it could also be the planet's destruction that fuels the Astral Express.

B- The plot

Since the planet must be either destroyed or in a very catastrophic way. I would imagine the story based on the tragedy : the Astral Express will tell the people of Amphoreus that their planet is destroyed, everyone will try so that it doesn't happen but everything has already happened and it will end up destroyed. This mixed in with a "Fall of Rome" kind of context.

Why am I thinking so ?

First, Rome is known for its political history being a mess.

Rome and Ancient Greece are known for their tragedies. Those have usually prophecies that are trying to be escaped but ended up happening anyway. And by the Astral Express coming from the future, they would be the ideal prophetic role.

The japanese name for Amphoreus is Omphalos. And Delphi's was known to be the center of the world, according to the greeks. Delphi is well known for its oracles.

"Eternal Land" isn't used to be literal. Black Swan is a Memokeeper and as such believes that all "world will eventually perish, but they can live on in another way — through Remembrance." (Databank ; factions). And such, Black Swan would be basically using some dramatic irony (mostly used in tragedies) to mock Amphoreus' people. It is how we view Rome's Fall : there were the signs that Rome would fall, yet nobody could stop it.

The planet's destruction would be a political crisis from the three paths (a word of them ahead) with a stellaron at play. My theory would be that one of the paths would want to exploit the stellaron for power linked with the hybris theme (the theme that men always try to be as powerful as gods but end up punished). We could also link it to Cesar's deification signaled by a comet.

Post Scriptum : If the Astral Express aren't the one announcing the planet's destruction, we could have an apparition of the Omen Vanguards, Terminus' followers (since they "They are dedicated to drawing prophecies from Terminus's obscure words.").

II- The three paths

"Human behavior flows from three main sources : desire, emotion and knowledge" - Plato

Erudition - Mourning Actors- Enigmata

Erudition :

For the fact that Ancient Greece had an immense impact on today's intellectual (look at Dr.Ratio's design).

The Genius Society, Nous' followers, are already known to be quite prideful so it would made sense for the hybris theme.

We don't know Nous' creation and ascension to aeonhood. So we could have Nous' followers in that point in time.

"Knowledge comes at the price of suffering." (Fu Xian voiceline Chat : Third Eye) and so, following my idea, it would be the knowledge that the planet will end up destroyed/dead that makes the Trailblazer and the Astral Express suffer.

We need another path for the trailblazer

Mourning Actors :

Their performances are akin to greek tragedies

Like Nous, we do not know when Aha arose to aeonhood.

Despite doing greek tragedies, their philosophy is closer to Pascal's (“Distraction is the only thing that consoles us for miseries and yet it is itself the greatest of our miseries.” ; replace Distraction with Elation and you have it.). And Pascal also has some quotes about truth. I wouldn't be surprise if we see Mourning Actors get inspiration in Amorpheus.

Enigmata :

Purely out of opposition to Erudition, first and formost.

The romans were well-known to copy the greeks (even in their mythology) yet hate them. So Enigmata being opposite to Nous would fit the bill but also Rome could be replaces with Enigmata : taking history and changing it.

There is the sentence of erasing someone from History known in ancient history and it would fit the Enigmata pretty well.

Enigmata has been hinted through Gallagher in Penacony and Hoyo doesn't show us something just for the sack of it.

Enigmata could be seen as an easy antagonist for the arc. (And if we follow my idea, Nous' followers would be the one creating their demise)

Side note : Beauty is a path that I have seen mentioned in theories and could be (since Aeneas, the founder of Rome, is seen as the son of Aphrodite, goddess of love ). Though I have to say that it wouldn't fit with the idea of "balance" because it doesn't have a counterpoint.

Thank you for reading my messy theory ! Have a wonderful day/night ! (It is 2AM when I finish writing this).