#just venting about school and life | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

call-me-copycat · 5 months ago

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I just need to be told "You Can Do It" right now.

#I've gotten about 3 hours of sleep within the last 48 hours and I'm still behind in my classes #I don't know how I'm supposed to keep up at this point #Just grinding constantly for hours every waking moment of my life #I'm stuck wondering the same things #'When will it slow down?'... 'Will it actually ever slow down?'#If it doesn't i don't think i can keep up #Full time in college and full time in work #However #every time i try to speak my troubles or stress to someone they just chuckle #and ignore me saying ''well college is like that. welcome to the adult world''#Why does college have to be like this? why is everyone so fine with this?#I'm very unmotivated right now #My grades are all low despite the numerous 100%s I've been getting #And they're not going back up no matter how many A+ s I get on assignments #I don't like talking to people - it scares me terribly #So i don't like it when I'm constantly forced to talk to over 10 people every time i go to school (talk to your professor they say #I like to think of my job at my second home #at least that's not too hard and i love the people #But I just need things to get less intense school-wise #Just for me to get a decent amount of sleep please #Just a little bit #Please #i don't know #I'm not going on hiatus no worries #I love my blog dearly and cannot abandon it for my mental health #I just need encouragement #Because I'm so tired #Sorry for the rant I hate to vent #I'll delete this later if i remember #💬

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mylove-thresher · 25 days ago

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I keep trying to post shit I been drawing lately BUT I CANT. I CANNOT BRING MYSELF TO. THE WORMS INSIDE MY HEAD DO NOT APPROVE OF THEM. I CANNOT FUCKING DRAW. PUT ME DOWN. I DONT FEEL THE SILLY IN ME.

#If I had the fucking time to draw at home my life would be sparkles and glitter #I feel like my skills are falling away from my grasp #Bc wdym I was fr cooking before I came back to school and now this junk happens #I’m probably just out of energy from everything that’s been going on in my school #And I think I said som in the tags of one of my latest posts about a new girl in class that’s funny n shi. Well she isn’t.#I’m starting to hate her bc she’s cringe and quirky as hell but not in an actually funny way it’s just annoying #And she’s always cutting me and other people off in irl convos and acting like the goofy main character #While also being so unbelievably stupid like we have to repeat things to her over and over again and it’s just. So much.#I feel bad for being an absolute hater but she’s genuinely becoming more and more insufferable and it’s just her second week here #Idk how my friends put up w her but I look at their faces and I can tell they’re done w her sometimes #It’s not that she’s a bad person she’s just. So cringe. In a bad way. Not in a “let people be cringe” cringe way. Just cringe.#Like I swear she’s an absolute ditz #Or whatever the word is in english #Why am I just hating on this random girl nobody on here knows irl mb but I had to get it out 😭#Ugghhhhhhggg I’m sorry for not posting anything too interesting chat #I know I technically do post quite often but I don’t feel as artistically satisfied with myself as I felt before #oh and I’m also going to try reaching out to some teachers I kinda trust ab how I feel mentally and shi #Maybe they’ll talk to me #i hope they do #I just don’t feel like myself anymore it’s like I’m two entirely different people online and irl #im so much more open online and irl I’m like an actual nobody. Not degradingly I’m seriously just not sociable 😭#But ummm yeah whatevz I guess #vent #vent post #personal rant

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weaselishmcdiesel · 21 days ago

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#cat creech #cat creech is my vent tag i think. block it if you don’t want my venting #venting in these tags pls ignore this post if you don’t want to read vent #I feel like I don’t care about stories enough. I don’t read books watch movies or shows #the games I play I’ve already played before or have no story at all. I feel childish and trapped in familiarity #if I could slightly different versions of the same story over and over again I’d be happy. I don’t need stories at all it seems.#I even avoid it often. would opt for comedy or something baseless over a story.#and I wouldn’t be upset over this if I didn’t major in animation #I don’t want to be a director I don’t want to be a writer I don’t want to be in charge of story #but this stupid fucking school makes you do every part of the pipeline. I don’t read or watch anything so unsurprisingly my story is boring #my story for my thesis I mean. it’s uninspiring I’m not proud of it. and it’s changed so much from where it was in the beginning #it doesn’t even feel like mine anymore. I don’t like it and it’s not mine. I don’t want anything to do with it #and I think I realized that being a storyteller means having lessons to tell people or experiences to share #I don’t have either of those things. my life is uninteresting and I don’t learn from my mistakes. my mistakes themselves are boring #all my issues are boring and privileged. no one needs a story or lesson from me. what the fuck can I say that hasn’t been said #and even if I did have a story to tell I don’t want to? I don’t care to teach people or share my experience. that’s never been what art-#-was about for me. art is a selfish escape for me. nothing more. nothing artsy feely or intellectual. ‘why do you draw’ idk it’s fun #I remember old classes where people answered why theyre artists. everyone had interesting answers and here i was-#- I said because it’s fun. like a fucking childish moron. never should have pursued art as a job. you have to want to be an artist to make-#a living from it. I don’t want to be an artist. I just am one as a byproduct of drawing. not the same thing.#I don’t even want to fucking animate anymore. I don’t know what the fuck happened to me but I hate it I hate it so much #I miss when making art wasn’t a task or a job or homework. I really fucking do #I’m tearing up #anyway #weasel speaks #vent

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zackcharine · 2 months ago

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Having another rough day already as. usual

#🤖.txt #Another day another trying to not have a meltdown on my way to school #Im not even gonna . talk much about it bc its making me want to cry more and lol i want to cry for hours #Really sad and thinking a lot of shit and dont know how to make myself feel better #I need. to pretend im not alive but i cant do that anymore . Im just bad at everything now #Aughhhh #vent #Do you know how sad i am #i feel like i tried so hard to keep myself alive only to live like this and hate being alive. like this is so depressing #I dont even like thinking like this bc i have so many good things in my life rn and im very grateful for them #and yet theres not a day where i dont feel like this at least for a few hours #ugdhjd i know i'll be fine when im home i hope i get through today without feeling like this too much #I'll probably delete this later but i just need to leave this somewhere

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videoworm · 4 months ago

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Hot tip:

If mental illness doesn't get treated properly / don't improve and festers for years it can turn into a personality disorder. Or any kind of trauma disorder. Or whatever. Point is it festers.

#still struggling with the avpd diagnosis. like yeah i do have peristant anxiety. but a) i hate how the medical field pathologized avpd and #b) dont really relate with how its portrayed? like the only kind of community if found is just people venting online #about feeling absolutely hopeless. this isnt helpful in any way for me. or about people being very rejection sensitive which im not #🤷#but like yeah. for me its just anxiety thats not very 'oh no what if i walk weirdly' (thats what i dealt with in school) but more smth #creeping from deep within and sometimes i dont even notice how it takes over. its not noticable thoughts or Anxiety as a Feeling.#similar to dysphoria in that it absolutely influences your life but you might never notice yourself #and then i also just have social anxiety. but thats managable. sometimes exhausting. but ive had social anxiety for more than a decade now #i can deal with it #its very situational #and with situational i mean casual conversation with real life people (mostly of my age). doctors #this has turned into a rant lol #about me #avpd

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soppsop · 1 year ago

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i just rememberd adhd meds exist and now im upset because i could have that if it wasn't for that freakin neurologyst we went to see that told us it was impossible that i could have adhd because i have good grades in school. literally the ONLY question he asked me and immediately said it was impossible. we spent like 5 minutes there. he could've at least... explained something???? anything?????? and now i'd feel bad about asking my parents to see another neurologist because that costs a lot of money :((

#now im just unable to concentrate on anything and feeling very worthless #ok gonna start rambling here a bit #vent? ->#i'm just not good at anything except drawing. everything is hard and i don't think i'm capable of getting a job and contributing to society #in any way except drawing. my self worth is being held almost entirely by my ability to draw.#but i'm also incredibly slow and unproductive and it's so hard sitting down and starting a drawing and finishing that drawing #drawing is the thing that makes me feel alive and feel good about myself so when i can't draw i just feel really awful #i just wish i could concentrate and work and be productive man. why do i have so much stuff going on in my brain. why is everything so hard #sadge 😔😔#ok gonna try to draw i hope something cool comes out or i'm throwing my computer out the window and playing videogames #oh also another neurologist once told me depression can't be caused by school #i'm pretty sure it can but idk im not a doctor #what is up with these neurologists man #i know it's gonna get better tho. life might suck but i *am* a teenager and it's only gonna go up from here.#im still learning about myself and stuff. also no school next year that's gonna be awesome #don't wanna end on a sad note bc life is good actually #and i'm fucking amazing at drawing

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magicalmyths · 5 months ago

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can't believe that my mom's favorite child is the one we haven't heard from in 4 years. Like, you care so much about what he does and what he likes but the child that lives with you? You can't even put your phone down to say goodnight and hug them. Even I'm able to do that.

#Tw vent #There's like a whole story #But yeah #Coming second to a guy who doesn't even care about her #I get it she's upset but #i'm overreacting #it just feels weird on how much she still talks about him #Like he's the light of her life #And then me? She doesn't even ask me how school was anymore

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13eyond13 · 6 months ago

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actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew

#like its always just been there in my life but i just never paid attention #my university roomie was obsessed w them and had several beatles posters that i looked at every day #so stuff like the pictures of them from the let it be album are like engrained into my brain #and yet i never knew the lore??#nor did i know until recently that they were actually all high school buds nor did i know they wrote their own music #nor that they genuinely basically invented modern bands n using the studio the way they did etc. so all that was very impressive and cool #but THEN on top of that omg the angsty gayness of john and paul #like all i knew previously basically was that john was a thing w yoko ono and paul had a young wife recently #i had at one point heard of people shipping j&p together and was just kinda like wow i guess people will ship anything #I DIDNT KNOW #that they were actually like that cute and that insane together and that their song writing together was like an actual marriage #anywayz the old pictures and videos of them are just like jesus look how they look at each other i dont think it was just being bros #i am sort of in the camp of they prob didn't act on it for real but there was def some insane tension/chemistry going on #and then ofc once youre aware of this their songs take on so many possible meanings outside of just singing about their gfs and wives....#anyways i just have to vent about this somewhere bc im actually shocked at how this has just passed me by all these years #and it definitely was not on my bingo card for 2024 to fixate on the beatles but here we are lol #more proof to me that my ultimate fave trope or wtv is 'besties to enemies when really they actually probably wanted to be lovers'#gets me every time!!!!#whats been fun about this rabbit hole is how just every single one of my expectations has been reversed as well #i went in assuming i would like them best in this order:#(1) george (2) ringo (3) paul and (4) john #i was sure i would hate john i thought he sounded so pretentious and like such a douche #but no actually he is my fave one and it's literally in reverse order for me i find george my least fave #(i like his music and feel bad for how he got ignored in the band but i like him the least)#and then i literally am john paul ringo george in order of faves now #i just love when i get surprised like that idk it keeps me on my toes and keeps things exciting and fresh #and yes john is indeed pretentious and a douche but i didn't know he was also funny and vulnerable and that i like his voice and songs #the most in the bunch almost every time as well #the beatles #p

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annimator · 19 days ago

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I’m thinking about that one uquiz about what emotion you create from

I got discontent as a result, and I’m not sure how to feel about the fact that I understand more & more why I got it as the days go by

#of course my sona’s lore is about escaping from a mundane life to explore an infinite multiverse #of course my OCs’ world is a fantastical love letter to everything I’ve loved and enjoyed #my actual life feels too bland #too mundane #and I don’t think my parents are any help #they never told me they were divorced #I just thought it was weird that I only lived with my mom growing up #and she still probably thinks my pansexuality’s a phase #I don’t even think she’ll accept the fact that her ‘daughter’ is nonbinary #I rarely see my Dad and I’m not sure how he’ll take it either #I used to be close to my other cousins in Canada but I feel so disconnected from them after the pandemic #god #that whole period changed the trajectory of my life #pre-pandemic anni feels like a past life #I’m not sure if I miss the person I was back then #their problems could’ve been fixed if they learned more about their identity #qsmp & disventure camp would’ve done wonders for me if they were released back then #I feel more happier now but even then it’s primarily thanks to the internet #I’ve started using Twitter which sounds shocking but it’s only for the funny posts and fanart #I rarely do much on Tumblr anymore but I am still so grateful for everyone I’ve befriended on this hellsite #even if we don’t interact as much #then again school’s been keeping me busy but whatever #…#jeez I didn’t expect this to become a vent post #this rarely happens but it kinda felt great to vent this stuff out #especially that part about my parents #tw vent #vent post

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babacontainsmultitudes · 1 year ago

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80 or so years of life really ain't enough can I have an elf lifespan instead please? Or at least a dwarf's... I need at least a couple hundred years... Oh and a new spine every 5 or so years, if that's not too much to ask. 3. 3 years actually. Yeah, a new spine every 2 years, and a lifespan of 350-750 years, that's all I want really.

#SORRY this is such a random thing to be posting about and I guess it's a vent post haha #I suppose I've just been feeling a lot of... dread and fear lately... especially in the late hours...#''Lately'' as in on and off for most of my life but *a lot* as of the past few months #Like #Oh it's weirdly embarrassing to talk about this here it's a tad personal uh **tw (discussions of) death #But do you ever just feel paralyzed by the knowledge that one day you'll be 40? Or 60? Or 80? If you're lucky!#I worry a lot about wasting my life #I worry a lot about dying an unpleasant death #Or a painful one #I suppose I've always been gerascophobic...#But finishing school and turning 23 and not having a job and having just a hard time with my physical health lately...#I haven't been great I guess #I just feel like time has been moving so quickly lately!!!#And I've been going nowhere.#:0 not to be too much of a bummer y'all I'm not like feeling horrible rn or anything but I do need to vent I think #Cause if not it just stays coiled up inside of me.#*gah* I should channel all of this energy into Glenn in my pirate fic lol #😌 he's insecure (in part) cause he feels old #🥲 ough and I don't feel amazing about that most recent chapter but I guess that's a whole new vent #working on some different stuff for a bit.#ANYWAYS #I hope whoever happens to be reading this is having a good night ✨️#oh or day if it's day for you lol

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floral-hex · 11 months ago

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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.

#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void #shits rough dawg #I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts #haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier #it’s cold #saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours #guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left #even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are #I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh #my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week #maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting #woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside #hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning #can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience #anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments #I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now #ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever #you can ignore this #text

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evilmagician430 · 4 months ago

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college is making me want to shoot myself in the head really bad, which is crazy because i thought i was completely done with feeling suicidal after highschool ended. my life is looking up and i have a lot to look forward to.

but the funny thing is. that beautiful future, which is the reason i don't want to die, is only obtainable through going to college and working very hard and stressing myself out all the time. which, in turn, makes me want to die.

#as per usual my mental health has been doing great and here comes school again to throw a wrench in the works #its so unfair that i cant be guaranteed a small house and a well paying job and a domestic life with my girlfriend just by surviving #i mean for my girlfriend i've tried to set it up so that that's all she has to do and i'll set up everything else #but surviving in itself is a lot harder for her than for i #i just want us to be O.K. !!!#and then there's the genocide that doesnt involve me but i'd be kind of a horrible person not to care about it #which i do care. i want to donate but i barely have enough money for myself and my girlfriend to live happily #and thats WITH my parents keeping me housed and paying for groceries bills repairs etc #AND college tuition.#swear to GOD i could be given like 10 thousand dollars rn and i would use almost all of it to help others just out of sheer moral obligatio #theres not even very much i would want to spend money on for myself rn #i like my current wardrobe enough and my doll collection is almost at full capacity so its gonna stagnate soon #and thats like. it. i buy myself snacks and stuff sometimes but thats all the ways i spend money for purely selfish reasons #besides that i just wanna help my girlfriend out and all those suffering in palestine #im rambling. i need a fucking break from it all sorry #life suddenly seems so bleak again #evilmartin430.txt #vent

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galacticlamps · 7 months ago

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very minor thing I still definitely deserve a medal for:

being raised catholic, and now as an adult repeatedly falling in love with characters that fandoms like to declare catholic, but still managing to reject those headcanons because at heart I'm too much of a stickler for accurate analysis to get behind them when i know the person in question is really meant to be anglican/episcopalian/whatever other flavor of christian

i am being, as the poets say, so brave about it

#i dont wanna list examples bc this is just a lil vent post im not looking to make this pop up in any tags & insult anybody #bc tbh some of the worst offenders are absolutely top-tier favorite characters of mine with woefully small fandoms #& the LAST thing i wanna do is be rude about or discourage anyone who posts about/writes for/discusses them #just because i happen to have trouble getting on board with one part of their analysis.#but it does amaze me that this Keeps happening #talk about resisting temptation #& for the record when i say 'raised catholic' i do not just mean christmas and easter catholic okay #im talking 'college was the first time in my life religion wasnt a required subject' catholic #'virtually everybody i knew as a teen went to different single-sex high schools' catholic #horrible uniforms. strict nuns. classes interrupted for masses for even the minor holidays. joined choir for something to do-catholic #as an adult i still have friends & acquaintances who work in/for churches type-catholic #my mom actively tries to hide rosary beads & scapulars in my bags & car every time i come home catholic #(i dont even think most people know what scapulars ARE for christ's sake! & if they think they do they're probably picturing the wrong one #meanwhile i've got a routine list of hiding spots to check for them before driving away)#my point is.#if it made even a scrap of sense for any of these characters to actually be catholics trust me i'd be the FIRST one saying so #bc i know i could write the SHIT out of all the angsty repressed queer guilt religious trauma stuff everyone's drawn to it for #that's like the very least i could get out of having been up to my eyeballs in it for the first two decades of my life #but 99% of the time it just doesn't track w/ what we know about them at all im sorry.#im sorry your moodboard yearns for stained glass saints #im sorry your fic hinges upon a flashback to a certain sacrament #but im just not buying it

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alaskan-wallflower · 6 months ago

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(vent in the tags and under the cut. don’t read if you don’t want.)

sometimes i wonder if people would care if i was gone. there’s just no point anymore tbh.

#tw sui ideation #its honestly just been going through my head for a while #the past two weeks my parents haven’t talked about anything besides my brother #i kinda just feel like i’ve been forgotten in a way #i just feel lonely i guess #and i hate it #it’s just one of those days where i feel lethargic and just numb frankly #and i’m tying to keep posting because it’s not fair that others who don’t give a shit have to read my vents #but i just can’t do this anymore #i’m going through a lot rn #between yesterday and my dog being sick and school starting and my grandma getting surgery and having to move in with my family #it’s all just a lot rn #and sometimes i just think about it and i just hate it #i hate having dark thoughts like this #i’ve been my only therapist because i can’t talk to my parents #i can’t talk to them about this stuff or they’ll just give me the “you can be sad but you can’t pack up and live there” bullshit #I DIDNT FUCKING ASK FOR THIS #that pisses me off so bad #i didn’t fucking ask to have suicidal thoughts?#sometimes i’ll just choke myself with my dog’s leash as a form of punishment because it just makes me feel good #atp i don’t care if i go too far because it’s not worth it anymore #it just doesn’t feel like life’s worth living #there’s nothing to enjoy or look forward to atp #i just need a friend #i’m so tired of being there for people and then having to turn back to myself when i have an issue because im too cowardly to open up #i’m scared #i don’t have it bad like i don’t know why i feel like this #i have a good life #i’m just being a brat #i dunno

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mnty-bubblegmyum · 6 months ago

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I dont want to get things confused he said hed never settle for some boy he couldn't use so now I gotta call the doctor so he prescribe me medication so I can deal with all the memories of being here this way

#I fuckinh hate him #he doesn't even deserve to be thought about by me #let alone have lyrics dedicated for him #this stupid ass song is reminding me of him¿#I hate him oh my god #but it's like at every turn I see his disgusting face and I have to force myself to not break down just right and there #I get flash backs just at the slight reminder of him #I'm gonna vomit #I was doing so good until I fucking saw him #I might switch schools just because of this #it's not something I want but it's kinda hard to just do school and stuff when I think he's in the class right next to me #I see him everywhere #HE FUCKING TRAUMATIZED ME.#HE RUINED MY LIFE.#and I just have to “get over it”? get over it? get over it?#get over it? really? get over IT?#go through what I fucking went through then talk.#I'm so mentally drained #I don't wanna live anymore #I mean I was able to see all my friends at least once so..#that was one of the things I wanted before I died #finn yaps 🎀#vent #★ finn sings 🎤

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llitchilitchi · 8 months ago

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#vent #i still dont know how to react when family members or family friends whom Ive not seen a while ask about school and life #and then start going all 'oh are you still drawing? why arent you an artist? you were good!'#like I dont know how to politely say that I wanted to buy I got shamed into not studying art and every time I try to do anything #I am met with a lot of pushback from my parents #and how do I say that when my parents are there and will just acll me a liar on the spot?#you think I dont want to be an artist? you think Id rather not study and work in engineering? you think Im doing this because its my callin #no I just. dont know what to do anymore to actually achieve what I wanted and what I hoped I am good at when I was a teen #I dont think it will go anywhere at this point

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