#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.

[floral-hex]

woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.

[milkoomi]

₊˚⊹ ᰔ a guide to preparing for a new semester ᝰ.ᐟ

part two

previous

i wanted to add a few more tips from the previous post i made for this! it won’t be an entire series, but i got to thinking and realized there are other things i wanted to discuss!

let’s begin !!

ᝰ.ᐟ sleep schedule

it’s extremely important to get 7-8 hours of sleep every night. i feel like this idea of pulling all-nighters and doing these extreme study sessions are almost glorified amongst students. everyone dreams of being the “perfect” or best academic weapon, but let’s be honest here: sacrificing your sleep— your health— will only make you sacrifice your grades.

there are countless studies out there that show the importance of sleep, so please make sure you’re getting a good amount of rest! your brain needs to recharge just as the rest of your body does! matter of fact, your body can’t function unless your brain has the energy to provide that functionality.

creating a sleep schedule

go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. i created this post on getting better sleep & creating a good nightly routine! i always try to be in bed and asleep by 10:30pm and wake up at 6:30am. not only do i get my desired 8 hours, but it helps me maintain my routine!

no screen time 1 hour before bed. i mentioned this in the post i liked previously, but it’s seriously so important to stay off your phone when you’re trying to go to sleep. i stop using my phone around 8:30-9pm and ever since doing so I’ve gotten much better sleep and it’s been easier for me to fall asleep!

ᝰ.ᐟ fuel your mind

this point i’m about to make is purely my own opinion and what has genuinely helped me just get through my day, but: eat breakfast. i am a firm believer of “breakfast is the most important meal of the day” because there were days i didn’t have breakfast and i felt dead inside. like seriously! without that nutritional energy that my body and my brain needed, i just felt so lethargic and exhausted.

i know a lot of people tend to skip breakfast, but even as your day progresses it’s important to make sure you get that brain food in your system. whether it’s a good snack or a great meal, make sure you have something in your system!

juno’s fav breakfast meals

oatmeal with slices of banana!! i usually have the Quaker brand (the maple & brown sugar is my favorite) and then i just add some banana slices! really quick and easy, but still something filling and nutritional!

avocado on naan bread!! i usually make this when i have more time in the mornings just because i like to add either a fried egg or some bits of bacon on my little breakfast sandwich! you can also substitute the naan bread with a bagel! i also like to spread a little bit of cream cheese on the bread!

yogurt and granola!! this is another quick & easy breakfast option i love! i use just about any yogurt that i might have in my fridge and then i add granola! i’ll also add any fruit that i’m feeling that day (especially if the yogurt i have is just plain)!

ᝰ.ᐟ change your mindset

i know a lot of have had this mindset of “i have to go to school/to study” but instead we should have a mindset of “i get to go to school/to study!”

when we view school or studying as a chore, our mindset can quickly change into something that doesn’t motivate us and that makes us hesitant to focus our minds on our academics. getting to have an education is a privilege and we have to treat it as such. we’re lucky enough to be able to attend school/college/university, so we have to make our time learning and studying worth it.

when you think of school/studying, think to yourself how blessed you are to be able to take the time you have and put it towards your education! change your mindset so that you feel motivated to be in school and to study!

ᝰ.ᐟ final notes

how you treat yourself and your health and how you view school can either make or break you during this new semester. so, i’m going to repeat myself once again: take care of yourself! your health, your mental well-being, and your mind all need to be taken care of if you want to excel during this semester and throughout your academic career! you also have to remain positive, burn out and frustrations with your education are very real things, but you have to make sure you’re able to pick yourself back up when things start going south. i truly hope this new semester for those of you still in school is a great one! always do your best because your best is enough and always remember to take good care of yourself and be kind to yourself!

with lots of love, juno 🌷

[sugurizz]

𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓/𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 +𝟏𝟖 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐃𝐍𝐈!!

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 ── Bby Boo Joo is a M E N A C E but I know a lot of us noticed him being all soft and tender (like 1% of the time) but oh well, I can work with that 💪🏼. So here’s some of the ways Jaekyung expresses his…feelings? Ig. kinda his love language.. in a way 💕…

𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐀𝐒𝐊.

Also thanks for the inspo and sorry ik this ask was sent long ago 🤧. U can call me Hana but I’ve been thinking about Yuna as a new alias…idk.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: established relationship, Physiotherapist F! Reader, shared house, implied power dynamics, hints at sex/ SEXUAL content.

Living in Jaekyung’s penthouse sure made life easier for both of you. It slowly aquainted you to each other, bodies and minds. You slowly got used to his mannerisms, little habits and his little pet-peeves. The sense of pride it gave you to feel like you knew him more than anybody else sure gave you a tiny ego boost. especially him desiring you whenever his body needs it…

♥︎──♥︎ He checks on you randomly. Casually pretending to walk by your room and just making sure you’re there. He does it almost whenever he’s home with you. Sometimes getting a bit sly with it so you don’t really notice him. But you slowly learned it was his way of checking up on you, making sure you’re around him -you know- just in case…

♥︎──♥︎ He hates you not being home, especially when he’s back from overtime training. Whenever he’s feeling stressed, uneasy or just in a sour mood, he’d rather you be around him or at least somewhere he knows.

He made it obvious the one day you were away til a late hour at night. He came home from his evening workout, didn’t find you there and instantly texted you.

‘I’m home. need you to check on my shoulder.’

♥︎──♥︎ He always complains about his feather-light sleep, but snoozes like a baby whenever you’re in his bed. The nights before his matches are surprisingly best for him. He gets the best sleeping quality after he pounds the juices out your poor pussy. He wakes up before you for sure, but his cute disheveled morning hairs are sure proof of a healthy healthy nap.

♥︎──♥︎ He likes it better when you make the food. His cocky ass always claims he’s fine making it himself but eats twice the amount whenever it’s you cooking his meals. He’d pretend he’s tired and not in the mood whenever he craves your cooking cause…his ass can’t simply ask for something lol. Yet he gets all giddy and blushy when his fav smoked eel dish is ready.

♥︎──♥︎ He hates to see you in any pain. Always saying it’s just for himself though…You know, just because he wants you always safe and ready to keep him in peak condition. and NOT because he actually cares or anything.

Yet why does he still gets annoyed at you getting the slightest scratch? He frowns when he notices you wearing band-aids, having a bruise or even some random shallow cuts on your hands and he’d instantly grab your arm, staring into your eyes and asking you how’d you get the injury.

♥︎──♥︎ He likes randomly noticing you…*ahem* underclothed. booty shorts definitely trigger his inner perv. He stares at your ass when you’re standing in the bathroom, doing your skincare freshly out of a quick nighty shower. So damn shameless when he stares. Almost undressing you with the raven eyes and thick lashes. So annoying…

You usually end up taking another shower that same night, only with his thick cum flowing down your thigh the second time :3

♥︎──♥︎ He can sense whenever you’re feeling down…IRONICALLY? Sounds like a joke with Jaekyung being the dick he is LOL but trust me on this one.

He almost has a sixth sense whenever you’re sad, scared, stressed out or just if something inconvenient happens to you in general. He’d never admit it -obviously- but it bugs him if he ever caught you teary-eyed. It gets him uneasy and you can tell when his mood sometimes matches yours..

Uhhh smells like love in here *insert Jaekyung stuffing his nose with toilet paper scraps*

♥︎──♥︎ He hates when you struggle to do something by yourself instead of asking him for help. (paying bills, dealing with packages, paperwork etc…) Says they’re just ‘bs problems’ and he can solve them for you much quicker and better than you could. He’d do it himself or even pays someone to do it instead.

Besides, he’s not kidding when he says he wants all your focus on him so he’d rather everything around you gets taken care of just so you can be there for him at all times.

♥︎──♥︎ He doesn’t mind your outside life but would definitely notice when you’re all cute and dolled-up for some reason.

It’s not only about the dolly looks to be fair. He’d bend you over the kitchen counter in your stained apron and fuck you dumb or suck your tits in your goofy pattern pjs on one of his long sleepless nights…

But the time he notices you spraying your cherry fragance in the bathroom, your perky breasts sticking shyly through your dress and a shiny jewel dangling from your ankle bracelet always gets him tight in his boxers.

He walks in with his glossy eyes, same naugthy grin you see when he’s in that mood..

‘Tomorrow’s my back check-up. Better not be late.’ He steps behind you, arms lazily crossed above his chest.

You nodded and made your way through the entrance, catching a honeyed voice behind you.

‘Hey Doc. I’ll drop you by'...

…His white McLaren got you there way ahead of time. so ahead that you ended up clawing at the door close to you, the little ankle bracelet jiggling over Jaekyung’s back and your shaky arms wrapped shut around his shoulders. Begging him to let you cum in fear of missing on your little night out...

[izu]

hey just wanna say that i LOVE your art!!! i’ve seen you on twitter and ugh just can’t get enough of it! also do you happen to have some johnshi headcannons?? cuz if you do i would like to see them all!! :3

thank you so much!!! i hope to draw more.... also get ready bc i have way too many headcanons and this'll probably be super long winded unfortunately . this isn't all of it but its most of it

- kenshi is a heavy sleeper. after moving in with johnny post-tournament he begins to unwind from his former unhealthy schedule that was supported by his yakuza lifestyle. johnny wakes up at 5 am to work out until lunch, and kenshi sleeps in til like noon or 1. johnny thinks its cute

- they either own a fuck ton of cats or ferrets. johnny seems like a ferret guy to me

- they like watching director's cuts of movies instead of actual movies because kenshi can actually understand a little more of whats happening while the directors explain certain scenes and go into depth about the composition and art direction. its a win win situation for both of them

- johnny actually reads a ton of books, but is embarrassed about it. leftovers from being a ""nerd"" in high school. kenshi thinks its adorable and he likes hearing johnny retell the book plot and express his exasperation with it unfolding as he reads

- johnny has a sweet tooth and kenshi has a more refined palette, he will try anything johnny sets in front of him though, even if he isnt much of a sweets guy

- on that same note, johnny is very good at cooking! every other night he plans a meal for them, and it's almost always a winner. lots of japanese style dishes (took some trial and error on johnny's part) because he wants to impress kenshi

- they go to red carpet events together after a couple of years of dating, but for a while they pretended (to the press, too) that kenshi was his newest bodyguard. rumors spread fast though and it ended up being a perfect time to let johnny come out publicly as bi

- kenshi's parents are actually very very supportive. i think he'd be nervous at first but his mom thinks johnny is very handsome and his father agrees its a good change for their family. kenshi has two sisters who absolutely raise hell over kenshi nabbing a sexy gaijin star and he is very embarrassed about it. much to johnny's delight

- they spend every weekend on the balcony of johnny's new loft in his jacuzzi just talking and being sappy. kenshi genuinely gets a lil upset when things come up and they miss their date nights

- everytime kenshi returns to the states after visiting home johnny makes a big scene at the airport. lunging at him, crying sobbing

- kenshi proposes first, but johnny had been nervously trying to wait for a good time to do it himself. one upped. he is still very upset about this well into their marriage as old yaois

- kenshi is the top 👍 i think we all knew this but still

- even if he doesn't need it, its sort of a ritual between them so they never stopped; johnny is still kenshi's sight dog when they go out and he doesn't feel like relying on sento.

- sento's ancestors like johnny a lot and kept being annoying about kenshi needing to get hitched already hskw7kejej

- kenshi is achillean, gay. always has been. his arrangement with suchin was. arranged. and she was his lesbian beard for a while. the two are very very close and she visits their home often. johnny is trans and bisexual, but he's only out about being bi.

- johnny tends to have a really shitty sleep cycle, light sleeper, easily thrown into insomnia, the busy street life can really fuck up his routine when hes already had a terrible day. which ends up with the both of them on the couch, talking, watching a show, kenshi with his head on johnny's shoulder. they fall asleep like that 7 times outta 10

- the older they get the sappier and grosser they get . everyone who knows them hates their gay asses . jax and sonya included

- also they both get dad bods when they get older bc of all the good eating. neither are insecure about it. its hot

- kenshi is undeniably the spoiled one. gifts, fancy dinner dates, unrelenting affection and praise. he starts believing he deserves good things, that he is loved, solely by johnny's persistence with showing him instead of telling him

- cris ends up being their friend again after a while. i just dont like the cris villainization when its contrasted with johnshi support. she had her reasons to be upset at her alcoholic, spending-addicted husband, y'all

- johnny like action/sci fi movies. kenshi likes romcoms.

- they host parties. they're awesome parties.

[weird-arcanefangirl]

Rainy Days

TW:signs of depression, blood(described), wounds and later chapters WILL discuss suicide and self harm. If you are triggered by these themes do not read this. I will make happier stories

I do not relate to this, and this might not be accurate. My grammar and writing abilities aren’t good, please correct me or give me constructive criticism ❤️ also, this story was !!!PERFECTED!!! with AI, I wrote it myself, everything, but because I’m German and my whole family doesn’t know much English, this is one of my only options. I have the original where I wrote it into my notebook and made notes for myself and I still have it in it’s earlier stages (I already wrote much more when I was younger, my grammar was pretty bad tho) if anyone wants proof (the notebook) I’ll release it on @toulouseradiosilence <3

enjoy!

Chapter 1: Rose

I wake up to the sound of rain pouring onto the roof. The first thing I do after lying on my side for another 5 minutes is to look at the alarm clock. The time it’s displaying is barely visible, yesterday’s meal is standing in front of it. Would you call that dinner or breakfast? It was at about 4AM, so I’m not really sure, but it also does not matter, so I shove the leftover ramenbox and cheap diet lemonade off of the bedside table. The bottle shatters on the floor, startling me. Besides the cars, rain and airplanes outside this is the first noise I’ve heard today, and probably one of the ones I will hear. I finally look at the time. 10:30 AM. I’m not late to anything, I haven’t been late to anything in months.. or years. Because there is nothing to be late to. Nobody needs me, I’m not part of this “system”. And I think that’s not as bad someone would expect. I don’t have any responsibilities whatsoever. I don’t have to take part in this society, I can do whatever I want. And I choose to lay in my bed, draw or sleep. I have food in my storage (ramen, diet lemonade/ water). Sometimes I crave foods I used to eat when I was younger, but it’s certainly not worth going to the store for. Some days I eat a lot, some I don’t eat at all. Most days, actually. Some days I don’t get out of bed and some I don’t even wake up. Others I don’t sleep. Sometimes I look at drawings or other posts on tumblr. That’s all I really do. Sometimes I think about signing up and posting my drawings, but I’m not good with social stuff and this is too social for me in many ways, so I don’t. I have to go to the toilet, which is pretty unusual for me, considering i barely drink anything. I don’t want to get up though, so I continue lying in my bed for another 20 minutes, until I feel too uncomfortable. I sit up and put my feet into the ground. Something sharp cuts into one of them. I don’t do anything; I don’t even look down to see what just hurt my foot. Another minute of just sitting there and staring goes by until I decide to check. A piece of a broken diet lemonade bottle. I stand up and shove the trash under my bed, I didn’t remove the shard. I start walking. The cut stings. I really do not care though. Dragging myself into the bathroom, I push the door open and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, but I quickly look away. I sit down onto the toilet and.. pee.. yeah, I pee. Afterwards I continue sitting on the toilet and my eyes trail along the way I was walking on, from the toilet to to the door. The door is open. I live alone. There’s a trail of blood on the floor. What? Oh. It’s my blood. Wait, yeah, of course it is. Who else’s would it be? I put my leg into the other to look at my foot. The shard is still in there. I actually kind of panic because it looks really, really bad. Almost my whole foot is cut open. And THAT is a reason to stay in bed all day (as if I wouldn’t do that anyway.. but now I have an excuse, I guess.) I limp over to my bed, but before laying down I check whether I still have some water. Luckily, I do. So I let myself fall onto the bed back first, take a chug of water and start to sleep.

Next chapter will probably release next week❤️

omg I just read through it and the amount of typos I made?? Guys pls tell me if there are mistakes this is embarrassing 💀😭

Also I hate the pace, its so fast…

[actuallyadhd]

Hello, I know you haven't posted in a while so I understand if you don't reply to this, but I could definitely use some advice.

I haven't gotten round to getting tested for ADHD, but I have a lot of the symptoms. I really struggle to sit still, I often blurt things out and interrupt people, I can't seem to remember basically anything, I get way too emotional over small things, and more.

The thing is, these symptoms seem to be getting progressively worse. I will hear something and then completely forget what I heard minutes after, forget what I'm talking about mid conversation, haven't gone to sleep on time because I've been pacing in my room and throwing a bouncy ball and eventually scrolling on my phone in bed because I can't get to sleep, I'm late a lot more than usual (I have to go out tomorrow and I'm hoping I'll get up on time, alarms don't work).

But the biggest thing is this: I keep stopping and starting things. I have loads of sideblogs I haven't posted on for days because I started them with huge passion and then either got bored or forgot about them (or both.) I've been thinking about starting a new ask blog, but at the same time I know I won't come back to it.

Do you have any advice for how to manage this?

Sent August 1, 2024

It sounds like things are cascading, which can be super overwhelming.

I always start with what I call The Big Four: diet, exercise, sleep, and stress. If any one of these is out of whack, everything gets harder. This is true for non-ADHDers as well, but for us it’s more important because of how our brains work.

So, first, think about how you’ve been eating lately. Are you getting enough protein? Brains run on glucose, so carbs are also necessary, but aiming for whole grains and the like is better for long-term functioning. Are you eating *enough*? As in, do you forget to eat meals? Do you snack a lot, and if you do, are you going for quick sugar hits?

Next up is exercise. Regular movement is important. Taking active breaks when you get distracted can help to reset your brain so you can focus again when you come back. Exercise also adds endorphins, which boost your mood and can help increase energy and focus for longer. These effects build up over time, so you won’t see results right away, but if you can make it happen there will be benefits!

As for sleep, you’ve noted that you’re struggling to fall asleep. That’s a really common thing for ADHDers, and we have loads of suggestions here to help. Some of the best ideas I’ve seen include listening to podcasts or watching ASMR videos, white noise machines or a fan, reading a book (not an e-book unless your e-reader doesn’t use blue light), or doing some kind of a puzzle book in bed.

Stress can be really hard to manage, especially if anything else is off since that adds to your stress. The best way to handle this is to have a set time each day where you do something fun and relaxing.

You may find that this doesn’t quite hit the spot. So I have a couple more things to look into.

First, it’s pretty normal for us to run into problems when our responsibilities increase. More responsibility means more load on our executive functions, so things start falling apart a bit as we struggle to find a way to make everything happen. Change is hard!

Second, our age and hormones can have an impact on things. If you menstruate, estrogen levels have a huge impact on functioning. It is a very important part of the brain’s glucose delivery system, so when estrogen is low so is glucose. (There are other ways glucose gets to the brain, estrogen is just the most efficient.)

As for age, when you hit certain ages (early childhood and puberty are best known) your brain makes a ton of new connections, and that can make a lot of things harder that weren’t before. This is because your brain is dedicating itself to other things, and often those “lost” skills return once it’s done with the stage.

So think about all of these things and consider whether one or more might be affecting you. Once you know what’s going on, it will be easier to figure out how to deal with it.

Followers, do you have any ideas for managing these issues? Please share!

-J

[femmefatalevibe]

hey babe! I was wondering if you have tips on body dysmorphia and self care/love? I’ve been dealing with it a lot and it rlly sucks, and I was wondering if you had advice?

Hi love! Here are my tips:

Accept where you are as a starting point, not a final destination

Consider what your (realistic) ideal body is and the habits this person would have

Write a list of these habits (dos and don'ts style) and start implementing one "do" and one "don't" every week. Habit stack until they feel natural and intuitive to you (some dos: drink 4 large cups of water daily, have some green vegetables with 2 meals per day, don't drink soda during the work week; some don'ts: skipping meals, having more than 1 processed food per day during the work week, etc.)

Treat yourself like you have your goal body ––eat, exercise, sleep, and talk to yourself the way you would if you had this body staring back at you in the mirror

Find physical traits you genuinely love about yourself––even if it's eyes, hair, lips, etc.

Put yourself together in ways that make you feel best––outfit, hair, makeup, nails, perfume, skincare, etc.

Hope this helps xx

[gaywattpadstorykid]

Rainy Days

TW:signs of depression, blood(described), wounds and later chapters WILL discuss suicide and self harm. If you are triggered by these themes do not read this. I will make happier stories

I do not relate to this, and this might not be accurate. My grammar and writing abilities aren’t good, please correct me or give me constructive criticism ❤️ also, this story was PERFECTED!!! With AI, I wrote it myself, everything, but because I’m German and my whole family doesn’t know much English, this is one of my only options. I have the original where I wrote it into my notebook and made notes for myself and I still have it in it’s earlier stages (I already wrote much more when I was younger, my grammar was pretty bad tho) if anyone wants proof (the notebook) I’ll release it on @toulouseradiosilence <3

enjoy!

Chapter 1: Rose

I wake up to the sound of rain pouring onto the roof. The first thing I do after lying on my side for another 5 minutes is to look at the alarm clock. The time it’s displaying is barely visible, yesterday’s meal is standing in front of it. Would you call that dinner or breakfast? It was at about 4AM, so I’m not really sure, but it also does not matter, so I shove the leftover ramenbox and cheap diet lemonade off of the bedside table. The bottle shatters on the floor, startling me. Besides the cars, rain and airplanes outside this is the first noise I’ve heard today, and probably one of the ones I will hear. I finally look at the time. 10:30 AM. I’m not late to anything, I haven’t been late to anything in months.. or years. Because there is nothing to be late to. Nobody needs me, I’m not part of this “system”. And I think that’s not as bad someone would expect. I don’t have any responsibilities whatsoever. I don’t have to take part in this society, I can do whatever I want. And I choose to lay in my bed, draw or sleep. I have food in my storage (ramen, diet lemonade/ water). Sometimes I crave foods I used to eat when I was younger, but it’s certainly not worth going to the store for. Some days I eat a lot, some I don’t eat at all. Most days, actually. Some days I don’t get out of bed and some I don’t even wake up. Others I don’t sleep. Sometimes I look at drawings or other posts on tumblr. That’s all I really do. Sometimes I think about signing up and posting my drawings, but I’m not good with social stuff and this is too social for me in many ways, so I don’t. I have to go to the toilet, which is pretty unusual for me, considering i barely drink anything. I don’t want to get up though, so I continue lying in my bed for another 20 minutes, until I feel too uncomfortable. I sit up and put my feet onto the ground. Something sharps cuts into one of them. I don’t do anything; I don’t even look down to see what just hurt my foot. Another minute of just sitting there and staring goes by until I decide to check. A piece of a broken diet lemonade bottle. I stand up and shove the trash under my bed, I didn’t remove the shard. I start walking. The cut stings. I really do not care though. Dragging myself into the bathroom, I push the door open and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, but I quickly look away. I sit down onto the toilet and.. pee.. yeah, I pee. Afterwards I continue sitting on the toilet and my eyes trail along the way I was walking on, from the toilet to to the door. The door is open. I live alone. There’s a trail of blood on the floor. What? Oh. It’s my blood. Wait, yeah, of course it is. Who else’s would it be? I put my leg into the other to look at my foot. The shard is still in there. I actually kind of panic because it looks really, really bad. Almost my whole foot is cut open. And THAT is a reason to stay in bed all day (as if I wouldn’t do that anyway.. but now I have an excuse, I guess.) I limp over to my bed, but before laying down I check whether I still have some water. Luckily, I do. So I let myself fall onto the bed back first, take a chug of water and start to sleep.

Next chapter will probably release next week❤️

[pedripics]

Pedri about the day to day life during the world cup, bets and the player that surprised him the most

ERIC: What do you do all day? You know from the moment you wake up until you go to bed. PEDRI: Let’s see. We wake up and go have breakfast. ERIC: Because I’ve been told that the days are pretty strict/ hard around here. PEDRI: Not for me honestly. I mean it’s true that you wake up, eat breakfast and if you’re late, for any meal, you will get a fine. For everything, if you arrive late. If you’re not on time, fined. Afterwards, we have an hour or so for training. That’s normally just a warm-up and some training. After the meal, there's an hour or so where we sometimes go to the pool or play ping pong or something like that to pass time. After that, we eat. Again, if you arrive late, you get a fine. ERIC: And what do you get to eat here? Croquettes? PEDRI: I wish they would let me eat croquettes. JAVI: Croquettes from mum. PEDRI: They won’t let me. JAVI: Fer [Pedri’s brother] told us he was going to bring us some to practice one day. He never did. PEDRI: He never goes anymore. Probably won’t go so he doesn’t have to bring you any croquettes. But yeah, in the afternoons. I always sleep a lot, take a nap or I play on the PlayStation. Depends on the day and how I wake up. Almost all our afternoons are free, so yeah you can do whatever you wanna do.

ERIC: I’ve heard Lucho [Luis Enrique] say something about a prediction bet for the World Cup on stream. JAVI: What’s the bet about? Spill the tea. What’s going on there? Why is Gavi first? What has he done that you haven’t? PEDRI: I don’t know what he put. I think he’s just guessed and had good luck because it’s rare that Gavi has something right. But honestly, I’m very bad. Like literally, I am last. There are like thirty people, the prediction bet is of all the World Cup results. You write down your result and a 1, 2, or X. Like the Quiniela [Spanish football betting pool]. If you guess the result correctly, you get 2 points; if you guess the symbol, 1 point. And I am last. ERIC: And Gavi is first? PEDRI: That’s the worst. Yes, Gavi is first and Nico is second at the moment, I think.

JAVI: What player that you’ve played against in the World Cup -  Musiala doesn’t count because everyone said Musiala. Have you met/ seen one player – you’ve played many matches – where you’ve said ‘oof this guy, this kid, is pretty good’? PEDRI: One I’ve seen or played against? JAVI: Doesn't matter. PEDRI: One I’ve seen who surprised me is the one from Ecuador – Moisés Caicedo.

[bobbyfloyd]

Do you mind sharing your weight loss tips? I’ve been struggling to try to lose weight

i am no expert whatsoever but what’s working for me personally is walking/jogging everyday, getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night if i can, eating smaller portions, upping my protein intake so i’m more satiated after meals (i try to eat at least 100g of protein a day, or 30+ grams a meal), and eating less sugar (meaning foods with added/processed sugar). i still have sugar when i want but i don’t go overboard like i used to.

i go for a three mile walk everyday if i can, which takes me about 50 minutes to an hour depending on how fast i’m walking. i’ve also been running periodically during my walks. nothing too intense, just a jog but it gets my heart rate up. if i don’t have time for 3 miles i just do 1 mile. as long as i get my body moving for at least 30 minutes a day i’m good. if you can’t go for walks outside and don’t have access to a treadmill i recommend growwithjo’s walking workouts, she has lots of fun indoor stuff you can do (and you don’t need any equipment either). her workouts have been the only ones i’ve actually enjoyed doing.

i also have an apple watch which helps me track my steps and workouts and that’s been huge for me, it motivates me to close my move ring every single day. any kind of fitness tracker will do. you can just use your phone to track your steps as well. i try to hit 10k steps a day.

the best thing for me was starting out slow. i told myself i would walk 30 minutes everyday for 20 days. when i proved to myself i could do that i then decided to add 30 more minutes to that and take an hour walk everyday. as far as food/drink consumption, i told myself that i would stop going out for coffee so much. now i only go once a week, if that. then i told myself i could eat the foods i wanted, just smaller portions, and i had to supplement more protein. little changes like that have been super helpful for me. i didn’t start all at once, i’ve been doing things gradually and it’s really been helpful. usually i just get overwhelmed every time i try to take control of my health but now i feel like i’m getting the hang of it little by little.

most importantly, be patient with yourself and your body. you might not see any results for a while but don’t give up. i tell myself even if i don’t lose weight, i’m still moving my body every day and that’s what’s most important.

[sneakers-and-shakes]

Reconnecting With Yourself

I’ve been feeling pretty disconnected from myself lately and haven’t been loving myself to the best of my ability. This inner separation ended up making my anxiety worse and the small things I could normally brush off were getting to me a lot more.

So I set off on a self-love mission. Much like a glow-up week, I’ve been trying to focus my actions on self-care in many different ways. The goal is to relieve my anxiety and reconnect with myself. So today I decided to share my journey and what has helped me!

My body:

Before I could even begin to sort out my life or emotions I really needed to take care of my body. And by that I mean 10 hours of sleep and eating full meals. 

Getting proper rest especially was an essential step for me, I physically felt better which allowed me the brainpower to focus on my emotions.

External Stressors:

There are many different ways to help de-stress and relieve anxiety, especially for things out of our control. Personally, going to the beach helps me put things into perspective. It visually shows me the vastness of the world and how little these problems matter when put in the context of the seemingly never-ending water.

It’s easier to let the waves wash the stress away, so I made the most of this last bit of summer and had a proper beach day in the water.

I think the main takeaway is, even if it’s not the beach, to be outside in nature. You could go on a walk through a forest trail or a run through your neighborhood. Whatever way you can be outside, even if it’s sitting on a bench in a park.

Being in nature helps ease your mind from human-made problems and can help shed some perspective on them when you’re amongst the part of the world that is not affected by your stressors.

Internal Reflection:

Once the external stuff isn’t bugging you as much, you’re left with yourself and that’s where self-love can get deep. 

Usually, it helps to talk things out with someone if you’re having problems, either with them or in general. Journaling is simply a conversation with yourself.

I came up with a Self-Love Countdown, which are 5 questions to start the conversation with yourself about loving and accepting who you are.

The prompts are:

5 Things that bring you joy

4 Accomplishments

3 Parts of your physical appearance that you like

2 Favorite personality traits

1 Thing you love about yourself

This is by no means a comprehensive list and you can find a lot more self-love/self-reflection journal prompts out there but this was a good jumping off point for me.

I also think it’s important to remind yourself just how far you’ve come. I did this by going down memory lane and listing out all the things I had hoped to one day do and then listing all the things that I have done. It reminded me of just how much I’ve accomplished and how much growth I’ve made (especially when comparing how I was back in high school).

You need to give yourself credit for your growth, even if you feel like you’re stepping backwards, growth is not something that can be taken away from you. Always remember that.

A Date With Yourself:

An important part of self-love and reconnecting with yourself is being able to spend time with yourself. Take yourself out on a date and romanticize your life.

And while you’re out, do things that make you happy. Maybe reconnect with a hobby you haven’t done in a while, or go somewhere you like but haven’t been to recently. The goal is to generate joy when you're with just you.

I went to a cafe and sat by the window and wrote for a while. It was peaceful and aesthetic and it felt good to focus on writing since it made me feel extra productive.

You can even journal on your date with yourself as a way to have a conversation. (The way you would if you were on a date with another person.)

Physical Appearance:

It also helps to dress up nicely and feel good about how you look since that will reflect internally as well. Wear clothes that make you feel your best and this might. 

This also may be a good time to do a face mask, get a haircut, do your nails or the other hygiene related things we do not just to take care of ourselves but also to feel good.

Of course you can work out, but only if that’s something you enjoy doing. Throughout this process you have to handle yourself with grace and care and specifically focus on doing the things that bring you joy and happiness.

I ended up getting highlights again after a while of not having them and made an effort to wear the dresses I felt prettiest in.

Physical Space:

As a really organized person my physical space also made a difference. I went through and did a deep clean of my room which made me feel a lot better as well. Having your immediate spaces be clean and put together helps your mind to feel more put together too.

-.-

With all of these things working together, I feel like I’m at a much better place now than I was before. I feel more reconnected with myself and better suited to handle the problems that might come my way.

Remember that this isn’t as straightforward of a process as the way I outlined it. I did these all in different orders over the course of multiple days spanning a week and a half (and not without stumbling blocks either). As long as you’re trying to do these things with intention, you can slowly work your way up.

I hope this helps in your reconnecting with yourself journey, I’d love to hear your thoughts so please leave a comment!

Thanks for reading!

[ciaossu-imagines]

Hey! The prompts you have provided have made it easy for me to request something. So, if i’m going to choose, can you do Prompt No. 1 with Miura Haru?

Yay! I’m so glad the prompts proved useful to people and I can definitely do this for you! Thanks so much for the request and I hope you enjoy, anon dear!

What’s their go-to fifteen minute meal?

Haru actually really does value eating well and staying pretty healthy and she doesn’t usually just end up going the grab and go route with food. If she was really hungry and was running short on time to make something, I think she’d end up replacing a meal with cake from a bakery or grabbing a gas-station bento, which I see as her other guilty pleasure.

How would they describe their perfect vacation?

Romantic. Haru is all about the romance and the atmosphere while travelling and I think Paris, as the so-called ‘city of love’ would appeal to her, though she’d really love the idea of a beach vacation and walking along the sand at sunset with someone special.

What’s the most read book on their bookshelf?

I think a lot of Haru’s reading is done for school and she keeps all her old textbooks to reread. However, I also think she has a lot of poetry books, particularly romantic haikus, and she has at least one or two books on astrology and blood type personalities, things along those lines.

If they had to describe themselves as a type of shoe, which type would they choose? Why?

I think, as a shoe, Haru would best be described as a colourfully printed or patterned sneaker, something fun and whimsical but comfortable and practical.

What song would they choose as their theme song?

I don’t know why but I’ve always kind of associated Ash Koley’s Apple of My Eye with Haru, so it’s the one I’m going to have to go with.

What’s the oldest item in their refrigerator?

Haru’s a pretty neat person. It comes from her mother, who kept their house clean and neat and organized, so I do see her as someone who cleans out their fridge of expired or nearing expiration date products at least once a month. The oldest product is probably a bottle of soy sauce, though it’s still well within it’s expiration cycle.

Do they have an emergency treat (ice cream, cookies, candy, etc.) hidden somewhere in their kitchen for bad days? What is it?

Because she does her best to stay healthy and watch her weight, Haru doesn’t keep treats in the house. She knows that she has a huge sweet tooth, and very little willpower and self-control when it comes to not indulging in treats. If she has them in the house, she’ll sit down and eat them, so she doesn’t keep emergency treats in the house, though she will occasionally stop and buy a piece of cake or some sort of sweet pastry if her day’s been really rough.

What’s their weirdest bedtime ritual?

While not exactly weird, Haru does keep a diary and she can’t go to bed until she writes in it. Her mind just won’t settle down to sleep until she’s written out all of her thoughts into the diary.

Who/what is the one thing that can make them smile no matter how terrible their day has been?

Tsuna can definitely make her do that, but so can all her other friends, like Kyoko or Lambo and I-Pin. Tsuna, though, is the one she really focuses on to get through really bad days. If she gets through this or that hard thing, she’s sure Tsuna would be really proud of her and she uses that as motivation.

Where do they go when they need some time alone?

I think Haru’s room has really always been her sanctuary. Her parents let her decorate it exactly how she wanted, it has all her favourite things and when she just needs to detach from the world, she’ll shut off her phone and hide behind her closed bedroom door and pretend the outside world doesn’t exist.

What’s one conspiracy theory that they secretly agree with?

Haru, for as spacey and as weird as she can be, doesn’t buy into a lot of conspiracy theories. Her father is a very practical man, who always taught her to not blindly trust in anything that couldn’t be proven…that being said, she does buy into any theories related to secret societies though, as she finds the very thought romantic and dangerous and thrilling.

Who’s the person they most want to tell when they hear a funny joke?

She always tells Tsuna or Lambo the funny jokes she discovers first. Tsuna doesn’t always laugh, which bums her out sometimes (though she just challenges herself to find a funnier joke), but Lambo always laughs at her jokes and it makes her feel really funny and cool and happy.

What’s the first section of the newspaper (or online news source) that they check each day?

She checks her horoscope first and then that of all her friends. She’ll send them little texts telling them what her horoscope site of choice says that their days will contain before flipping to the fashion section or advice columns.

Who would they call to bail them out of jail? Bonus points if you describe why they were arrested!

She would either call Tsuna or Bianchi, depending on how embarrassing whatever got her tossed into jail was. She doesn’t want to embarrass herself in front of Tsuna too much, so anything really major or really bad would definitely warrant an immediate call to Bianchi, who Haru really does admire and trust.

What’s the one scent that most reminds them of home?

It’s cherry blossoms. She has so many great memories, right from the time she was really young and went to watch them with her parents, throughout all her life, of watching the cherry blossoms with others and creating precious moments with people she cared about or loved during that part of her life.

What do they consider their greatest achievement?

Honestly, I don’t see Haru as considering herself as someone who has reached their greatest achievement. I do see her as a very hard-working girl, with big dreams, and pretty solid goals that she’s always working to achieve, but I do think she’s not at the point where she feels she’s achieved any of them yet.

How much time do they spend on the internet each day?

Haru doesn’t use the internet a lot. She texts to talk to people and prefers paper-based books for research whenever possible. Sure, she might fiddle around on the internet here or there, but I don’t see it as being more than an hour a day, when averaged out when the week is done.

What’s their go-to procrastination activity?

Haru daydreams. She’s very creative and imaginative, and she can easily get swept away in wild stories she makes up or drawn into plans for new costumes or outfits or games and she definitely does use those fantasies to space out and procrastinate.

If someone were to make a movie of their life, who would they want to play them?

I’m sorry for cheating here, but I really do think Seira Nagashima was such a great choice for Haru in the stage play, and that’s who I’m going to go with.

Is there a number in their phone that they should definitely delete but just can’t seem to erase?

Haru used to have a best friend growing up, right from preschool to late elementary school. However, the two girls had a huge fight and stopped talking to each other in late elementary school…but Haru still can’t bring herself to delete the girl’s number and puts it into every new phone she gets, just as a force of habit.

[elaine-abroad]

Volume 1: The Arrival

The Flight

If you’re reading this, you probably already know me and my situation. I’m Elaine and I’m studying abroad in Seoul, South Korea for the next four weeks. It’s strange to think that a whole study abroad trip can even fit into one month, but regardless I’m excited to see what Seoul has for me.

This past week before takeoff felt too short as I continuously told my mom that I wanted more time to mentally prepare for the journey. I also procrastinated on packing a little bit in favor of one last hoorah with my closest friends. I know that I’m acting like I’ll be gone a long time, but a month in a country I’ve never been to IS a long time to me.

I was full of nerves the morning of – I woke up earlier than I had to and didn’t speak on the car ride to the airport. I’ve been on plane trips many times before, but I always get anxious and have to run through the steps. This time was a little more stressful because it was my first time flying internationally alone. I made it on with plenty of time to spare so that was good. There was one thing that dampened my spirits a bit throughout the day though. There was a girl from my school’s program that was supposed to land at the same time as me. We were going to explore the airport and split a hotel room together. It was just my luck when she told me she missed her flight, booked another flight that was due to land the next morning, missed the second flight to Incheon after a connecting flight was delayed or something, and was due to land around 5 pm the next day. It made me nervous thinking about finding things on my own, but I had to move on.

The plane’s “amenities” if you will were nothing like I’ve seen before. They had given us each a cheap pillow and blanket as they do on any international flight, but we also received cheap headphones, a full-sized water bottle (not those mini baby ones other planes have – a full one), and foldable hotel slippers to wear. Each chair had a screen to watch movies on and there was even a remote control for the screen. One push of a button and the whole thing came out. They had an area to plug in a charger and they even had a little knob to hang clothes on. It was crazy.

Interesting chair set up + views from the window shortly after take-off

The part I was most excited for was the meals. I’ve seen and heard from social media that planes to Korea had ACTUAL food that also looked good. My past experiences with United Airlines’ food weren’t even up for comparison. My mom would gobble that stuff up every time (I don’t know how), but my brother and I would rather starve than touch it. Anyways, let me just tell you I was not disappointed. When it was time for the first meal, I was elated that bibimbap was even an option. Of course, I had to get that over some ordinary teriyaki chicken. I was pleasantly surprised with the presentation of it all too. I was expecting some hastily thrown together bowl with nothing else, but I also haven’t had plane food in a good couple of years, so I forgot the meals usually came with sides. It even came with Korean Airline branded gochujang tubes and sesame oil packets which was insane. I ate it all.

Meal 1: bibimbap, miso soup, “spicy” pickles, oranges, Sprite

The next meal came in the middle of “sleep time” where all the lights were off for a few hours.

For the first two meals I kept thinking to myself, “How do they know exactly when I’m hungry?” Because both times I’ve been hungry, and they've almost answered my call. However, as the third time came around, I felt a lot fuller than I wanted to be. I still tried to eat it, albeit a little forcefully, but I knew I would have regretted it later if I didn’t. Plus, I wanted to get through the main dish to eat the carrot cake. Unfortunately, by the time I reached the cake, I was no longer in the mood with my tummy full and all. It was a sad moment because if you know me, you know that I have a sweet tooth.

Meal 3: beef with rice + veg, bread roll, caprese salad, carrot cake. Meal 2 not pictured but consisted of a ham and cheese hot pocket and a mini ham, cheese, lettuce sandwich

As for the plane ride itself, it was not that bad and was more tolerable than my usual five-hour flights to Michigan. Maybe it was because we got food and I slept better with the window seat (I usually sit in the aisle). I did kind of feel bad for the people who sat next to me as I unfortunately had to get up three times. My Korean friend told me not to sleep on the flight because of the time difference when I land or whatever, but I didn’t know what else to do on a 12 hour flight.

Views from window shortly before landing

The airport was a lot more straightforward than I imagined. I was worried I would get lost, but now I realize English signs and directions are a must since it’s literally an airport with tons of foreigners. At this point, everything kind of caught up to me and I just wanted to crash at my hotel. Everything was fine and dandy except there was no toilet in my actual room which meant I had to share with everyone else and my shower wouldn’t work. Maybe it did work and I just didn’t know how to use it because it took me a while to orient myself in the shared bathroom where there was no light switch and I had to press buttons to open the door. I ended up hitting the hay around 9 pm and woke every few hours until I left shortly before 8 am.

Views from above baggage claim and an inside look at my room at the Darakhyu capsule hotel in Incheon airport.

I booked a bus ride for the morning and luckily another girl from STAMPS was able to join me after taking a shuttle from her hotel. She brought two of her friends who were also going to be participating in a program at Yonsei University, the school right across the street from us. The guy who took our tickets was kind of scary as he yelled at us in Korean, asking where we were going. One thing I noticed since the plane ride was that the people here just assume I can speak Korean. It’s probably because I’m clearly Asian, but the flight attendants, customs people, hotel front desk, and café cashiers so far have approached me with Korean. It was kind of funny because the flight attendants would speak perfect English to the obvious white people and then ask me stuff in Korean. Anyways, the bus layout was pretty cool and different – super spacious. M Bus could never.

Bus interior. Fun fact: these two girls got off the same stop as us and were also attending Ewha for the summer

It was quite the journey to get settled (imagine carrying 2 backpacks and 3 suitcases up/down hill-y streets and stairs while battling the raging hot sun). We managed though. My room was nice too and I had it all to myself. I raised my brow at the showerhead, sink, and toilet all being in the same room, but it actually wasn’t too hard after taking one. Each room has a mini fridge and AC which definitely beats life at Bursley (dorm at UM that has no AC and all sorts of problems) last summer.

Extra pillow, pillowcase, sheet, and blanket not pictured. Each room has a balcony

The girl I arrived with, Alyssa, has a roommate (I didn’t hear her name that clearly, but it sounded like ‘Zeda’ so I’m just going to refer to her as that until it’s further clarified), and the roommate’s friend Deborah from their school in Massachusetts when out for lunch and a walk through the nearby streets. I was not expecting Zeda to whip out full on Korean when we struggled to order. Apparently, she took 4 semesters of Korean, and she could speak and read it decently. Deborah also knew quite a few words and could read it as well. Anyways the food was really good and pretty cheap – as well as a lot of things here. I literally bought 12 rolls of toilet paper for 5000 won which converts to less than 4 USD. So good news: I can buy gifts for people without too much caution because everything is so much cheaper here.

Soup dumplings, jajangmyeon, and these spicy seafood noodles

Long story short: the food was good, and we were all happy. We did some more walking and went shopping for dorm essentials at Daiso. Since arriving, I have seen an insane number of Daiso stores in Seoul which is kind of mind-boggling. There’s even one in the subway station near the school I’m staying at.

Despite the temperature being a whopping 93 degrees, we decided to take a little tour around the school. I quite like the simplicity of the campus – the buildings all look pretty much the same and it feels like a little town. The buildings remind me of the Ross (business school) buildings at UM. They’re all a light gray with stones/bricks, and the lush, green vegetation really makes the scene pop. It’s so fresh looking unlike in California where we have droughts and “brown is the new green”.

Views from the frontish part of the school

We didn’t make it far because of how physically taxing the walk was. Between the heat, humidity, and the fact that the school is built on hills of uneven roads, we were beat. We ended the journey with the very first building built at Ewha.

First building ever built at Ewha

To cool off, we visited our first café. I’ve decided to start a collection of those cup sleeves because they’re cute here.

Peach iced tea!

We all went back to our rooms to reset, but a few hours later, Alyssa and I were ready to roam the streets again. We ate at a fast-food place called Lotteria. Think of any place that sells typical burgers and fries, but times twenty. The food took a little longer than expected to come out, but we were joking how that’s how you knew they actually cook their food. Anyways, we were so surprised with the menu because of all the different options that American fast-food places never offered.

I got this mozzarella bacon burger which was absolutely insane because they literally fried like a puck of mozzarella and shoved it inside. Definitely not healthy, but really good.

The mozzarella puck is bigger than the patty. Also, the ice cream was super good too

To end the first night, we went into several cute shops with all sorts of accessories and items. I didn’t get anything, but I’ll definitely be back before the end of the program

ARTBOX interior

The First Day…Kind Of

The next morning, Alyssa, Zeda, and I went for a brisk walk to find breakfast of some sort before the Welcoming Ceremony. They were going to provide lunch, so we didn’t end up getting anything.

Quick street view

At the main gate, there’s this building structure called the ECC. In comparison to UM, think Pierpont/The Union. There are two sides made up of multiple floors. Within the building, there are food stores, a convenience store, a bank, coffee shops/cafes, a gift shop (Ewha’s version of MDen), classrooms, the office for international students, and areas for study. The path is dug out so that the greenery lays on ground level. It’s kind of hard to explain and imagine because you can access different parts of the building because it’s all built on uneven land.

Front and back of ECC

There were a lot of students at the welcoming ceremony – so many that they didn’t have enough chairs for them at first. We were given folders of information and even got a free pen and T-shirt (for field trip wear).

Welcoming Ceremony

The free lunch given was a free coupon for the cafeteria. I was pleasantly surprised with how good the food was and helped myself.

Purple rice, green onion hot spicy meat stew, cubed radish kimchi, meatballs with onions, cucumbers, apple + pineapple fruit salad, yogurt drink, seaweed, and a lemon tea drink

I ended up making my first purchase at the school’s convenience store for dinner where I got some munchies.

Kimbap and banana milk

There were a lot of options, and I was eyeing the bagged drink section. I have seen too many TikToks showing people in Korean convenience stores grabbing a pre-filled cup of ice and then a drink of their choice, and basically creating their own concoction.

Drinks galore

This is the end of the first volume. Stay tuned for my first full week in Seoul.

Spoiler: there were a lot of ups and downs.

-Elaine

[la-principessa-nuova]

week 1 on my adhd meds felt like i kind of understood what was happening

week 2 i’m just so confused what’s even happening

like i stayed up really late twice in a row and i’m not sure how much or in what way the meds might have contributed to that happening

and then i felt so tired the next day it was really hard to judge much but that’s just from lack of sleep

then i went to bed normal time the next night

but somehow slept through all of my alarms and woke up at 10:30 and ran upstairs for work still half asleep

and nobody said anything about it or asked when i joined the meeting 30 minutes late so 🤷‍♀️ but maybe i just lucked out bc most of the team was out today so things were a little weird anyway

and then i was really easily distracted today because there was this one thing that was really bugging me about the code i was working on that i kept looking into instead of doing what i was supposed to

but then it turned out i uncovered a pretty major issue so idk maybe that was actually a normal thing to get caught up on

but i was like dead tired after work and went straight to lay down in bed but then something happened and my parents needed me to watch the dog so i went and got her and i was feeling a bit more awake by then after getting a break from work

and then i organized my pins and ate dinner but now im so tired again

which is normal and good to be tired at this time i guess but i need to get ready for bed if im doing that now

and also like i’ve been eating way less

which i can certainly afford to

but i think that’s from a thing my therapist suggested

and it basically has completely changed my relationship with food

but i just like feel so thrown off my game

and like who’s life am i even living?

idk

but i make meals and sit down at the table to eat now

and i like it, it turns out

eating is way more enjoyable when you focus on it and take your time

instead of rushing to inhale a frozen pizza so you can use your lunch break to scroll tumblr

i’ve learned a lot about dissociation this week, especially depersonalization, partially from reading about it and partially from hands on experience

and today i did not take care of myself

after running upstairs late to work and demoing what i did yesterday when i worked a little late to the people who needed to see what i did, i went downstairs to use the bathroom, brush my teeth, etc.

i should have just taken an early lunch, but i decided to try finishing that work first so someone who needed my changes to do their work could have it ready.

but i should have brought up a drink, and i didn’t. so after finishing the one i poured last night and brought up with me in the morning, i had nothing all day.

and then i just forgot to go to lunch, and i worked until after 6.

btw i’m supposed to work 9-5 (mostly flexible but i have a meeting at 10 every day), but this week i worked 9:30-9:30, 9:30-6, 10-4, 9:30-6, and 10:30-6.

Part of that was not respecting my own needs over other people’s and pushing while burnt out to get something done that somebody else is waiting on, and part of it was just hyperfocusing on something interesting at the end of the day and suddenly realizing it’s late and I feel so tired I’m not sure I can handle the stairs, sometimes at the same time.

so i found myself at the end of the day having not eaten or drinken anything all day aside from the rest of my water from last night, until i cracked open a can of soda at like 7pm, which i drank over the course of like 2 hours.

so at like 9:30 i had only had that to drink, and i’d eaten some trail mix at some point between work and then, and i still felt all out of sorts

and then i had a very small dinner (not like intentionally trying to eat a small dinner, i just made something small just to get some vegetables in and then after eating it i was like “i guess i’m done eating now”)

and now i’m laying in bed typing this feeling really tired and wanting to just roll over and sleep but i do need to least take my meds and brush my teeth and hopefully have the energy to shower after that

and then i should go to sleep but im like so likely to suddenly be awake

[sunmarketing]

Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

  Welcome to Dr. Mary Travelbest’s 5 Steps to Solo Travel Guide for women like you who need extra support traveling (slowly) one woman at a time. Please share this podcast with your mom, aunts, and friends. I appreciate your feedback.

  I’ve returned from a 90-day trip around the globe to every time zone on the planet. My mission is world peace through cultural exchange. I was sustainable when I could by using local transportation, buses, and trains. I was solo, carrying a small backpack, called a “personal item,” that fit under the seat in front of me on a plane.

  In this episode, FAQ is: What did you wear in Vietnam?

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Today’s Destination is Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, formerly known as Saigon (south)

Today’s Mistake- Currency exchange rate was high, and I got taken

Travel Advice: - Shoulder season travel will be less costly and more flexible.

  FAQ: What did you wear in Vietnam?

  Like other Southeast Asian countries, it is tropical and humid. I was always hot. I wore the lightest possible clothes and took three showers daily when possible. I also found swimming pools to cool down. I wore a short dress instead of shorts and a blouse. I wore a skirt instead of jeans. I wore sandals. I carried an umbrella for sun protection and wore sunscreen daily. I went out early in the morning and late in the afternoon or evening and slept during the day when I could.

  Today’s destination: Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

  Formerly Saigon, it’s on the coast in the South of Vietnam. The city has 18 districts, and most tourists go to 1, 3, and 5. I took the Hop on Hop Off bus at night, which was pretty amazing because the city is lit up at night like a Christmas tree. This experience covered the main tourist attractions in about 90 minutes. I never could have seen all this during the daytime, with the traffic patterns. Most cars I saw were in traffic jams during the day.

  How did I plan this part of my trip? I used Booking.com to find hotels. I read guidebooks and talked to friends who have been to Vietnam, especially recently.

The taxis are safer, especially the green ones. I shared a ride from the airport to my hotel at midnight with two people I met on the plane. The traffic is light at midnight.

During the day, that’s different.

  Quickly, I learned that driving here is a challenge, especially in the Mekong Delta. Listen to that episode. The current exchange rate here is 22,600 dong to the dollar. Your dollar goes far.

  What did I eat? Fhish sauce and pho, bahn mi.

When I got back to HCMC, I was so hungry. Bong Sen Buffet for a $12 buffet.

That was one of the best meals. Try a buffet if you don’t know what to order.

Here’s what I ate: pho pork, duck egg, ice cream, fried rice, red bean soup, snails with ginger, vegetable soup, eggplant, steamed veggies, prunes, watermelon, dragon fruit, banana cake, papaya, and spring rolls.

  I stayed at a different hotel: Huong Sen. https://huongsenhotel.com.vn/aboutus.php?cmblang=en

    Construction noise from a different floor was so loud at 9 a.m. after a vast buffet breakfast one morning when all I wanted was sleep. I switched to an annex hotel down the block, owned by the same company. Later that day, I Swam in the pools at the hotel, with excellent views of the city.

About two blocks away, I walked to the Sheraton Hotel for the 23rd-floor view. That was outstanding, especially near sunset.

I also got another Massage, Thai, this time.

  If you are planning Sights in HCMC, Try these: Rex Hotel, Opera House, downtown shopping malls, and Ben Than Market.

  What I Bought in Ho Chi Minh City:

A folding umbrella for $3.00

Since mine were broken, leather sandals were a good find at the market. I also bought a lock with a key.

Later, I bought Pharmacy for meds for a sinus infection. I did not need a prescription to get antibiotics here. I had them, but I have yet to use them.

  In summary,  Ho Chi Minh City had Great hotel buffet breakfasts and plenty of tourists, and it took a lot of work to cross the street safely. I had to follow someone else to travel with them, as it took experience I did not have.

  Today’s Mistake-.The currency exchange rate was too high.

  I should have talked to more locals before changing money in Vietnam. I got taken.

I changed US dollars to Cambodian dong, which I did not need. They took US dollars there everywhere. I switched to Indian Rupees, but they gave me a currency that was being removed from the country, so it was not usable. And they gave me change in Vietnamese currency, which I did not want. So I paid a fee for that exchange, too. I had a lot to learn. And still do.

  Today’s Travel Advice- Shoulder season travel will be less costly and more flexible.

  You don’t always need the “perfect” season for your travel. Go before or after the peak, and you may find a better overall experience. With climate changes, those traditional windows of weather are not exact. Plan some things and leave other non-essentials to spur of the moment.

    I want to bring meaning to your travels. Send a question or travel tip to info@drmarytravelbest.com. Sign up for the mailing list here. We can connect on my website, Facebook page, group, or Instagram. Subscribe to YouTube, Twitter, or other social channels. Find the 5 Steps to Solo Travel series on Amazon. The show notes have more details for you to connect. Support this podcast with a review, please.

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Check out this Dr Travelbest episode!

[truseneedssleep]

Just a bit of a vent, nothing important.

Today at work I have been exhausted all day, a consequence of my own actions of course, staying up late, doing my training course for 4 hours straight, forgetting to eat the night before, waking up late, not having time to eat breakfast etc etc.

I have anxiety and depression, and also I believe an eating disorder but I am hesitant to put a name to if because I am on the chubbier side of body types and my eating habits fluctuates a lot, some days I couldn’t care less about what I’m eating and other days I am not eating at all, or eating only 1 meal and maybe some fruit. It’s been a usual dull, rainy Tuesday, everyone at my work was seemingly effected by it and work was slow.

Both my anxiety and depression were hitting me really hard today immediately because of my prolonged lack of sleep and lack of mental rest, though I have talked about this with the coworker I was working with today I am constantly worried about my mental health becoming an excuse to me, because I want to be able and I want to be dependable. I also tend not to go into specifics, or at least not talk about how I’m feeling in the moment beyond ‘I’m just tired’ because I like people seeing me as the ‘giggly Truse’ as one of them nicknamed me.

As the day starts I can already tell that today was going to be one of those days where just them smell of food repulses me (I work in a cafe so that is understandably and issue, luckily I work in the bakery section as more specifically the smell of meat cooking, or fried things can make me feel sick on days like this.) Everyone is tired and things have already gone wrong in the kitchen. Things that were meant to be prepared yesterday for the breakfast menu weren’t done.

Understandably the kitchen staff are a little upset, as we had a relief chef in the day before (temporarily hired due to staff shortages) and as it was his last day it seemed he walked out without doing the preparation for tomorrow, as it does not effect him. This is the first time I’ve seen my manager for a while since she had been on holiday and since our work hours only line up every two weeks, while the other staff were more resigned to the fact, she was on the more frustrated side. She reminds me a lot of my mom in a way, because she acts how I picture my mom does at work, so I am a little awkward around her regrettably, since I don’t want to disappoint her.

She was working in the kitchen today so I did not have to worry about it all that much but I pick up on energy a lot, of course my anxiety and depression being the pain in the ass it is, no matter how irrational I know the thought is, I think that there should’ve been a way I could’ve prevented this or helped even though I don’t work in the kitchen.

It is also a slow day in the cafe which dampens the mood (though my coworker, one of the serving staff, gave me a hot chocolate at the beginning of the day which I am very grateful for as it gave me the boost I needed at the beginning of the day.). Despite my mental health going to shit I decide I want to continue pushing myself from the start of the day, I take on the role of filling the counter which I have only done a few times before, filling the counter is a little stressful for me but if I’m going to be a good staff member I can’t cherry pick the tasks I do and don’t like doing, especially if I just don’t like doing it because I know it’s an area I feel I am weak in.

Eventually my knees decided to start acting up (thank you for that knees by the way, way to put the nail in the coffin for me.) which is not good since I have to go back and forth carrying cakes to the counter. I’m slow in filling the counter and I try to get it done as quickly as possible, but with all the different cakes and products it can be overwhelming which is why I wanted to practice so I could get a system in place to make it less overwhelming for me, in hindsight it was not the best decision to do on a day I am clearly going to decide I an worthless upon any minor mistake.

I finish setting up the counter and decorate cakes for the shop, which I make a mistake in, but it was fine (I tried to convince myself even though I clearly was not doing fine). I quickly rectified it and took it back.

We needed to work with sweet pastry today (which if you’ve ever worked with it you will know that is is very annoying and frustrating as the pastry can crack and break.). I am eventually only able to fill two cases before I make the conscious decision to stop doing something that is very negatively effecting me, which I of course feel guilty for since my coworker now has to take that role and we are both a little switched off today.

Instead I prepare the fresh cream products, which thankfully goes well and refill the counter. After I take my first break after cleaning up my workspace. On my break the only think I did was have an energy drink and put on a short 15 minute video. Though the energy drink was helpful for a while and got my energy back up, the caffeine only worked to worsen my anxiety, I make very poor decisions.

After my break my coworker has prepared the sandwiches and they just need to be cut. I am again slow despite the energy boost. The sandwiches don’t look as good as when she does them, which rationally, they wouldn’t because she has worked here for years, but of course that doesn’t stop me from fretting over it (a lot). I get everything together eventually, about 10 minutes after the afternoon tea booking time.

I prepare the frangipani for the Bakewell tarts and for some reason I start experiencing pain in one of my eyes, which thankfully doesn’t go bloodshot, though I was insecure that it was for a good hour.

The next afternoon tea arrives and I just have to warm the mini scones for them up, that afternoon tea thankfully goes out in time. My coworker talks with another manager for a while and I take over the filling of the Bakewell tarts and get them into the oven, being left alone with my thoughts for a while was not a good thing as you can imagine. By then I am just am not having a good time, but I keep going because I apparently have no commons sense.

My coworker asks me to make some more scones which I do, getting them into the oven. I refill the counter again and my manager comes in and tells me I made a mistake in setting the counter up, while it is only a small mistake like putting icing sugar dusting on the brownies, which we don’t do, and although she was very nice about it, it definitely caused me some more issues with myself, even though it’s not a big deal and I always learn from my mistakes.

After getting the scones in the oven I go for another break, this time be-lining for the toilets so I can lock myself in a stall and try calm the panic attack that is slowly creeping over me during this time. I take a quick breather outside before going back in and help with cleaning up for the end of the day which felt long and tedious, I couldn’t wait to go home.

Looking at it I didn’t even do much today, it was just a day that dragged on and on. I love work, I love the people there, I’m so happy there but today was the first day that I struggled to that extent, I am terrified of work becoming like my college time did, I’m so scared of one day deciding that I am not able to face the people that are so nice and kind and patient with me.

This can’t become like college, because if it does then that just means I am not cut out for life. If I can’t handle this at my age where I am yet to face the ‘real world’ then I might never be ready. I don’t want to become someone who stays at home, unable to hold a job because of their mental health.

I hope my life becomes one of those storys where even though a person faces adversity they get through it alive and smiling. But who knows? I wanted to kill myself in secondary school, even though I held out hope for college, and then work, what if there’s nothing for me? Why have I held on for so long? Why do I continue to struggle every day? I want to be okay. I want to be happy. But my mental illnesses make it so difficult. It’s not fair.

I’m really trying, I promise. I’m trying mom, I’m trying dad, you can’t see how hard I’m trying for you, so you don’t have to bury your child, so my sister doesn’t have to lose her sister.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry that days like these so easily make me spiral like this. I’m trying to be ok.