#just something i gotta live with
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You don’t…… remember what you were looking at on the computer? -🟥🟦
No, but like... That's not that outlandish for me. My seizure disorder puts holes in my short and long term memory all the time.
-Tim
#just something i gotta live with#im sure it was nothing important anyways#otherwise i would have remembered by now right?#ask.txt#tim wright#marble hornets#mh#afterlife au#slenderverse
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The Dread Wolf Take You (Part 1)
~~Link to the complete 31 page comic here~~
"Imagine that, overlooking the god in your mids!"
May I present, my attempt at illustrating the last four pages of Tevinter Nights. 😁 (Also, the first time I'm posting art on here!)
As the whole thing was quite literally too long to post on tumblr, I uploaded the full version on a customized site made for reading webcomics (via ComicFury). Feel free to check out the link above if you like to read the rest! Also, if you're on mobile, there's a "Scroll View" option for easier navigation. :)
And, obviously, HUGE spoilers for those who haven't read Tevinter Nights!!
On a personal note though, I can't believe I actually finished it... As it had been a *very* long time since I drew (and finished) anything, let alone a 31 page comic and reading Tevinter Nights again finally sparked my motivation (and the courage to post it lol). So I want to thank Patrick Weekes for helping me overcome this massive art block and over two decades of Case Closed mangas for inspiring me how to draw an overly dramatic "exposing the imposter" moment. 😂 I tried my best to be as faithful to the book as possible and it took me forever, so... hope you like it! :D
#dragon age#tevinter nights#dragon age dreadwolf#da4#solas#charter#tevinter nights spoilers#my art#just gonna leave this here and run away as far as possible 💀#fun fact - did you know that this chapter was entirely inspired by an old episode of the animated Batman series from 1992?#to be specific - season 1 episode 35 titled ''Almost Got 'Im''#in which Batman lures his greatest foes to a meeting while pretending to be one of the villains lol#Patrick Weekes mentioned this in a live stream#wait - does that make Solas Batman? lol#.....''The Dark Knight Rises''...''The Dread Wolf Rises''....#oh I see it now lmao#I love this chapter and this ending so friggin much I just HAD to do something for it 😁❤️#gotta live up to my url here lol#monsieur gauche my beloved <3
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On my knees begging for anything trans!Obi-Wan :') love your work btw
your wish is my comand lovely anon, here's obi-wan having a nice peaceful moment training
#art requests#i got perhaps a little carried away i cant lie buuuuut im very happy with this#first thing ive really drawn in like 6 months#i came up with a silly over complicated lore for the tree in the background because .. well you gotta think about something when you draw#its a short lived species that picks a direction and grows in it until it falls over and dies and lots of smaller ones grow up in its place#and yoda plants them around the creche / training areas/ gardens / wherever and they act as a lesson in attachemnt for younglings :)#like yes this tree thats been around all your life (10 years or less) is dead but look it dying has made new trees and new opportunities#and maybe sometimes he gifts them to younglings he likes or ones he thinks could use the reminder sometimes that things ending isnt the end#new stuff happens after everything continues its all fine#anakin definitely recieved one or ten#probably was still recieving them into knighthood because yoda is a troll#he doesnt know theyre supposed to collapse and die though he just thinks hes really bad at looking after plants#anyways#yep#done with that#my art <3#cal draws#obiwan kenobi#trans obi wan#trans obi wan kenobi#trans! obiwan#star wars#star wars fanart#fanart
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#ojitos chiquititos chinitos de tanto fumar#art#fanart#my art#original art#splatoon#splatoon fanart#Splatoon fan art#Splatoon art#Splatoon dj Octavio#dj Octavio Splatoon#dj Octavio#Octavio#Splatoon Octavio#Octavio splatoon#so little tags ugh I gotta say something#so okay im kind of panicked because it’s my final project and guess what. yeah! haven’t done shit. aside from the important stuff but I mean#investigate and practice my speech. I’m quite confident on this because it’s a topic I know and love but it’s still scary#wish me luck I gotta explain to a bunch of 40 year olds how snakes move and hunt with a live snake which I am so afraid of#not afraid of the snake I mean. afraid it won’t last till that day and just die on me#probably won’t happen but I have anxiety
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"I was gonna say you're like a son to me.. but you're more than that."
"It ain't that complicated!"
How quickly that shoulder pat of comfort turned into a condescending one.
#he makes me feel so emo#this life was never meant for you but your fate was forced#the way dutch (and hosea) talks to arthur like he's stupid will never sit right with me#like they've been by his side over 20 years they KNOW he isn't stupid because if he was he would have been gone a long time ago#not only is arthur incredibly emotionally smart but he's a trained conman vault breaker gunslinger horse rider you name it#the fact that his own adoptive parents break him down like that hurts#it's a manipulation tactic on dutch's end - break your victims self esteem to make them chase your praise and approval#hosea I believe has just gone along with that kind of attitude but in a different way he just likes to jest lightheartedly#arthur doesn't see the difference though and it's understandable but he takes it to heart#the worst part is that hosea sees through his tough guy act and has called arthur out on it#his act is a defence mechanism to protect himself from being too vulnerable - in arthur's mind#and it isn't a sudden thing it's very likely something that has built over the years given the life he has lived#and hosea notices he knows this#but they still jab at arthur#oh it hurts#is he your son dutch? or is he your guard dog? your personal workhorse?#playing through the second time is opening my eyes more and more#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#mick squeaks#mick rants#mick gifs#arthur morgan#dutch van der linde#liveblogging#you guys gotta understand - arthur seeks and longs for dutch's approval he'll never say it but it's the key motive behind his loyalty#and arthur *rejects* dutch's comfort#he doesn't *want* dutch to pat him on the shoulder because he knows dutch is digging them an even deeper hole#he doesn't want that touch he craves#it's so insanely monumental for such a small scene because it shows us how arthur feels without telling us
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Fuck off nobody like your pathetic loser bias if you like obese that much go kill yo self stop drawing those fatass you pathetic virgin
Hate to break it to you but hating in anon is a pretty pathetic behavior too 😭😭😭
#if you have something you wanna say say it to my face#also what does my V card have anything to do with all these above?#if so many people get offended by the fact I'm a virgin then Imma keeping it to the day I die 🫶#gotta love the angel transform and max purity while researching all about dick anatomy#this is so random wtf#just let me live man#and I aint gonna tag this shit in my ask wtf anyway
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Who give af if the writers didn’t “confirm” jayvik, girl have you people ever shipped shit before? You gotta do the legwork yourself, being confirmed doesn’t matter. You weaken yourself on such pointless principles.
#JUST SHIP IT IF YOU LIKE IT MAN ITS NOT THAT HARD#I keep seeing people talk about how ‘well the writers didnt intend for it’ well that doesnt matter because you read it differently#thats what shipping is#thats what all of this is#if you need confirmation before you can ship something… well girl thats your life but certainly not mine#im used to the trenches of having to build this stuff up myself man#and this isnt even that! youve got so much to go off of!! who give af!!!!!#girl do your own thing!!!! live your own way!!! make that fuckin yaoi or so help me GOD#you deny yourself fun for the sake of being irrefutably correct#you dont need that#if it speaks to you the way it is then great!! art is interpretation!!#dex rants#dex talks#arcane spoilers#arcane#jayvik#you guys gotta be stronger than this#was exploding into nothingness after declaring all you ever wanted was each other not enough for you?#you need not weigh yourself down with semantics#be free be kind and have fun
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defenders of the universe or whatever
inspired by this and photos of spacecraft leaving earth's atmosphere
#winter's art#RARE ARTIST W I AM SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER HAPPY WITH HOW THIS LOOKS#ive spent like 2 years looking at rye's green lantern art and feeling inspired by it but i only just now did something about it LMAO#rye if u see this u gotta know im always a HUGE fan of ur work and that piece in particular lives in my head at all times <3333333#anyway i got to use all my favorite brushes on this one <3333 i LOOOOVE the glowy ones theyre so fun to play with#and i had a lot of fun shading the clouds and the gradient in the bg#I LOVE PAINTING SPACE ITS MY FAVORITE THING EVER IN THE WHOLE WORLD RAHHHH RAHH RAHH#voltron#voltron legendary defender#takashi shirogane#keith kogane#lance mcclain#hunk garrett#pidge holt#vld
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Yadda yadda yadda jinx is generally seen as a loose canon, does whatever she wants type of character, totally unpredictable. When in actuality, up until the last few episodes all of her choices and actions r motivated by wanting to please someone else. Hell. Even in the last couple episodes, the very Last thing we see her doing is ENTIRELY MOTIVATED by devotion and love and grief for silco, she’s taking out her frustration at herself and the world, and also honoring his wishes and dreams. By shooting a fucking bomb at piltover, she’s ensuring his life wasn’t in vain, she’s honoring him. In that moment
Her entire, self!!! is centered around love and loyalty. Is centered around other people, She’s motivated by an insatiable urge to prove herself, to be useful to those she loves, to show that she can help them and be there for them and be WORTHY of there love. That they haven’t made a mistake in loving her. To prove that she can be as pivotal to them as they r for her. She goes to the ends of the fucking earth to do this. And it ends. Terribly.
She puts the people she loves on pedestals and supplicates at there feet, she has no motivations most of the show outside of making the people she loves happy… she yearns for connection and love and safety. For a home that will never leave her behind, or crumble under her feet, (an indestructible home, That she can’t destroy just by being her…)
Which is why.. it’s so. Interesting and intriguing. How now, she has no one on that pedestal to worship, no one to drag sacrifices and offerings to the feet of, no one to spiral around and build herself off of. She is a person so *affected* by her relationships w others, but there is no relationship now, no one is stepping up to the plate to love her. She’s too much. For anyone. The one person who seemed to have unlimited patience for her is dead, because of her. and maybe vi could still love her.. but. She’s already soured that relationship. Already broken that one too. Broken all her favorite toys that made her so happy. That were there for her. And scared all the rest away. (There is a limit to what vi can support and forgive to reconnect w her sister. And I believe terrorism is crossing that limit ghgh)
And maybe, jinx is cutting that part of herself out on purpose. To be stronger, she’s realized she just. Isn’t made for love. That she ruins it all in the end. That it just makes everything worse. Messier. More complicated. She’s better off on her own, but for what PURPOSE! Who will she be now! What choices will she make!?! Almost all of her actions in the show were for others, what is driving her now, now that she has this gaping void at the center of her being. Where love used to be… what kind of person will she become, Without a guide to follow… a sun to orbit around. it’s sad honestly ghghg-!!! like yeah it’s not healthy that she is this way but there’s no THERAPY IN ARCANE. THIS IS THE WAY SHE IS! And now. She’s alone… it’s rough. But also intriguing…!! And I honestly have no clue how she’s gonna act in season 2,,, or what sorta shit she’s gonna get up to. but I’m excited.
#arcane#jinx#arcane jinx#jinx arcane#pepper words#sorry for waxing philosophical about jinx’s mental state I just. WANTED TO#she is so tragic to me…#and I see a lot of myself in her. albeit. like. since there’s no therapy she’s just deteriorated#but. idk. seeing a character like hers portrayed in fiction. and so accurately and like.. painfully#it’s cathartic#??? and I wanted to talk about her lol. leave me alone#ok now I gotta get ready for work lol#sOMEBODY GET THIS GIRL SOME THERAPY#but also DONT. cuz it’s cathartic to see the worst thoughts tendencies and feelings of myself come to life so unapologetically in her#like… it’s. nice to see somebody go apeshit like this. when ur own brain and desire to live a normal happy life prevents u from going#apeshit urself.. jinx is raw and unfiltered pain and misery being taken out on the world and I love that about her… but#I also want her to be happy.. and. I don’t. actually think going apeshit will make her happy… in the end ghghg-#but I will still always support her going apeshit regardless. like u go girl! this might end up fucking u up worse then u already were#but if u wanna do something fucking do it girl! don’t let shit like laws or morals hold u back..#edit: I WANT to edit the bit about supplicatting cuz it was mostly jus me trying to be wordy but.#so I realized I was projecting too hard lol. jinx is willing to snap and go against and put pressure on her fav ppl#mostly for possessive reasons ghgg- but! yeah that parts kinda innacurate for her#other bits of this might be innacurate too! this is just me thinking out loud lol I don’t claim to be a jinx expert.#merely a jinx appreciator…
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Wait, did Mike sleep in Will’s room in Lenora?
#byler#no but I can’t decide what’s more abhorrent#mike sleeping in the living room with murray and them not showing us#or#mike sleeping in will’s room and them not showing us#like why did mike only bring his backpack and duffel bag into will’s room for their talk?#where was his suitcase?#i checked in shots showing the front doorway and the living room and mike’s suitcase is nowhere in sight#i guess it could be in a spare bedroom?#but weren’t they trying to sneak out of will’s window or something?#so the agents wouldn’t notice?#otherwise why not just set his bags by the door? why haul them downstairs?#and why not bring his suitcase too for a swift exit?#unless… his suitcase is already in there?#maybe he slept there the first night but then went to the living room the second night with murray gone now?#why don’t y’all share with the class#why is it so close to mike like all he’s gotta do it grab it and run away 😭#I know the duffers know where mike slept#yall wanna share with the class?
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#me thinking edvin actually did something bad seeing ppls comments but he's just living his life and did nothing lol#people really always find things to complain about and then wonder that he posts and interacts less with us#congrats you're part of the problem#how dare he attend a fashion event with his gf and experiment with fashion at said fashion event#how dare he didn't post a picture where he's smiling that must mean he's super mean now#you gotta smile and always be grateful to your fans even when they act shitty and you don't actually owe them anything#no matter if he's proven time and time again that he cares so much and is the sweetest loving person#i honestly am living for his 'rebellious' giving no fucks phase and i hope he really doesn't fucking care what ppl are saying#i hope he keeps living his life that gets people mad and posts whatever he wants you go boy! don't let em stop you!#personal#edvin ryding
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There’s something so important about Gillion - who never heals himself, who rushes into danger, who hides his wounds- facing death and realizing he isn’t unafraid as he was raised to be. He uses his magic on himself to help with the exhaustion, to keep his life intact. And still he tries to comfort Jay and Chip while he’s coherent, being realistic about his chances but refusing to make it painful. Wanting their possible last moments to be light, to be about seemingly inconsequential things, small favorites that still mean the world to him purely because they’re Chip and Jay’s favorites. And then when all is said and done, he makes a raccoon for Jay. He talks about raspberries for Chip. He uses his last saved up arcane energy to try desperately to stay awake, and it works, and it saves him in the final hour.
It’s just. There’s something about how he hasn’t had a chance to rest since the Feywild, really, truly rest. How this whole time he’s been down on himself and taking extreme risks. And now, at what might be the end of it all, he realizes he doesn’t want to die. He wants to live. And not to be able to save others, not to fulfill his destiny, not out of obligation to anyone else - but purely for himself. For all the little things. And though it’s not quite healing in the literal term, his nearly final act was spent trying to save himself - and it worked.
#tw again for tags I’ll say and let me know if I gotta tag any more#but the past 30 episodes have been gillion tidestrider gets the shit beat out of him by the narrative#gillion tidestrider faces passive suicidality and faces old trauma and fresh new trauma#he goes through a shift of his foundation as a person he loses his sister the whole filipe thing and then this Curse#and he goes through with a mindset of ‘these problems exist because I do’ with some heavy implications behind that#it’s been getting easier and easier to choose his own destiny and break from expectations but it’s still not easy#but facing real death. slow and creeping and painful. he realizes he wants to live#not live because destiny demands it but because his friends do. because he does. because he wants to know more and share more of himself#I just. there’s something about all of it yknow#jrwi riptide 98#jrwi 98#jrwi#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#z speaks#at what point should I start tagging spoilers like. 100 maybe?
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Finished System Collapse the other day & Murderbot has never been more relatable
First image based on this post by @murderbot-moodboard
#murderbot#the murderbot diaries#system collapse#perihelion#asshole research transport#ratthi#ayda mensah#amena#googling to make sure I'm spelling amena right. bcos I misspelled Ratthis name in a previous post and haven't recovered from the shame#Sadly names pass thru my brain like sand thru time or whatever so. vibes only. i remember the sound not the letters. nightmare#Anyway murderbot mental health moment: the book was alot of fun#i need to do a reread now knowing what REDACTED meant the whole time#cause the wife and I were in torture thru the whole book like what the FUCK did murderbot DO#we were CONVINCED it had stood in the middle of ARTs lounge & loudly announced suicidal intent or something#or like yelled at everyone for risking their lives to come back and retrieve equipment <= it means itself#the combo misery and also sort of relief finding out it was literally just that murderbot has Been Through It#& is Suffering the Consequences#was kind of immense#anyway murderbot who is a crazy little asshole. its so me#Shadow the Hedgehog Gijinka looking motherfucker. I gotta pin down my design for it better#hope the memory visions r comprehensible but tbh whatever if theyre not#squiddlyart
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it feels so…… weird… seeing a cishet dude be so chill with queer themes lmao your soda-in-drag moment, the stevepop of it all, even guys with queers in their friend circles can’t bring themselves to partake sometimes lmao 😭 but it’s cool !! refreshing even sjksksndks this is a /pos statement I promise
Thanks lol! I think it’s cos I’m fairly secure. Sorta. (I’m still prone to compensating for things and being a stupid teen boy, but like, I’m aware of it, at least when I stop to think. Yk I’ll still join in on dick measuring contests, but deep down I’ll know it’s dumb and performative.)
I guess I feel a kinship to queerness. I go to art school where I’m sometimes the only guy in a class of girls, and I’ve been the token straight guy in every friend group I’ve been in since freshman year of high school. Beyond that, growing up I was frequently mistook for a girl- I had long-ish hair (post bowl-cut era 😭) and I’m part Asian, I was pretty androgynous lol. People irl have thought I’m gay, or a trans man on testosterone (I mean fine, I guess I am pretty short and hang with a lot of trans guys.) Hell, I did drag on a dare once, back when I was even more secure. (And I was hot asf in drag lemme tell ya. It felt lousy and it’s definitely not my thing, but man if I had a clone who was a girl-) All this to say, I say I’m straight, but honestly I don’t really know. I like girls a lot, but I have seen a buddy of mine in drag, and lemme tell ya I felt something but I’m not gonna examine that rn lol. Straight just feels comfortable, safe, and it’s good for interacting with folks who ain’t so progressive, so it’s what I’m sticking with…but I’ll admit there’s a gray area.
I relate a lot to the guys in the Outsiders, and irl I like to present myself as a tough, cool, Very Masculine guy. Hell, sometimes I play dumb about stuff because it’s “feminine” and a guy like me shouldn’t know about it. I act a lot like how I write Steve Randle, he’s my guy I like to project on lol. Honestly, I’ve got a fair amount of internalized toxic masculinity. But I think because I know how silly it all is deep down, I can interact with queer themes in art without feeling like I’m not “man enough”. Idk, I suppose it’s an outlet in some ways. Who knows maybe in 2027 I’ll come out as bi or something, but don’t wait up.
idk, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I like exploring queer themes, not because they’re queer necessarily, but because they’re human and I relate to them. And that’s hard not to partake in, y’know?
#rambling#ask#personal stuff#idk if all that’s like…ok for me to say and all but like…it’s just how I see the world at this point yk?#idk if you’ve seen derry girls but the character james maguire is me fr lol#(well i think I’m tougher than him but yk. he’s a guy who’s only friends are girls/queer people)#I worry sometimes about representing things poorly…#but like ig it’s not about representation to me. It’s not about anything. It’s just…expression i reckon#lord I dunno if I’m explaining this very well#For the record I find it interesting that I’m so chill too. There’s definitely a part of my brain that’s confused about that#like- I can’t wear a pink shirt cos that’s girly but I CAN try on heels because I’m bored???#I won’t pierce my ears even tho I wanna cos that’s “feminine” but I’ll write a 40k word fanfic about stevepop?? where’s the consistency??#I have to be the strongest in the room or I get pissy…but I want a girl to hold me?? that doesn’t make sense!#why am I a walking contradiction??#For all I’ve tried to explain it here at the end of the day idk why I am the way I am#I just…am. I wish it made sense but it doesn’t and I guess I gotta live with that lol.#talking about myself#srry ik this is long#ig it’s something I’ve avoided thinking abt much but now that you bring it up I’m…thinking. A lot.#(that’s a /pos thing I like thinking) (usually)
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(Based off of the reality of having a metal ring in your back as a constant reminder of your fate and how that affects you as a person set in the Switzerland arc)
“Does it hurt?”
Ava’s pressed face down into the pillow sleep curling around her limbs. She hums, she can’t remember what she says, she’s exhausted. Her arms are tangled beneath her pillow. She holds her fingers tightly between each other, her bones ache from the pressure but her hands no longer shake. Ava hasn’t experienced this before, a fear that haunts her at night. (She finds she cannot stop dreaming about dying. It’s stifling in the cover of night trying to figure out where she is.)
She slowly opens her eyes and squints in the darkness. Beatrice is facing her a furrow in her brow that Ava knows she’s doing unconsciously. Ava’s lip quirks a smidgen, Beatrice looks funny. It’s a bit silly to her, Beatrice no doubt working out a solution to an unknown problem that Ava has yet to see in the middle of the night. In her sleepy state she wants to laugh at the imaginary cogs churning in Beatrice’s head.
Beatrice scooches closer and Ava panics, her skin can taste the dust of Bea’s forearm. She hoists herself up on her elbows, turning to face Beatrice. “Wha?” Ava’s shaking off bits of sleep from her mouth when Beatrice repeats herself.
“Does the Halo hurt?”
She doesn’t know if she wants to answer that. Ava peers over Beatrice squinting at the harsh light of the digital clock on Beatrice’s side. Ava loves it, it reminds her of the early 2000’s and the aesthetic of waking up to an alarm to go somewhere. The clock blinks an innocent 1:43 Am, and Ava debates on letting her head thump back down.
She turns her body on her side, she can feel the halo shifting in her back and it makes her want to throw up. The sides of the halo press against her shoulder blades and Ava resists the urge to yank it out. She grits her teeth and settles ignoring the skin of her back pulling tight to accommodate for the ring. Beatrice is still expecting an answer and Ava can’t lie to her, she pulls the covers of the sheet up to her chest hoping to bide more time for an answer.
"Everything hurts Bea," Ava smiles, "getting my ass handed to me is hard work."
Beatrice frowns displeased but looks at her through her lashes, it's unguarded, the stress and worries of the world stay out of their room in the dead of night. Her lashes are so pretty and Ava wants to curse the soft glow of the moon. There’s just enough moonlight to illuminate her eyes but overshadow her freckles. Ava swallows down the taste of defeat, she can’t win, she thinks.
Her gaze is soft, Beatrice is looking at her and it’s different yet the same. The same feeling in her chest constricting her lungs, the same soft gaze of Beatrice. Beatrice who likes what she sees in Ava when Ava can barely see where she begins. She doesn’t like to dwell on it, the truth of the matter being what belongs to Ava.
If she closes her eyes she can pretend just a little longer. She can give herself the hope of the future and what comes after all this. She can put down the fighting and the artifact and live. Ava doesn't want to think about it anymore, at least not tonight when Beatrice is here with her.
Beatrice is soft. She knows it from hours and hours of training. She's felt it when Beatrice corrects her form, in the way she talks. She speaks from a place of care like she has turned the harsh words in her brain over and over to soften the syllables spoken to Ava. And Ava doesn't linger on it, the meaning behind it, (Ava didn't think she'd make it this far, finding a person who cares quite like Bea does.)
And Ava's got it bad, she knows she's fucked because Beatrice doesn’t say anything about her language and Ava can't not tell her the truth. She looks down, her hand fiddling with the bed sheet underneath them.
"It doesn't hurt," if she thinks about it she can feel the fibers of the cotton between the pads of her fingers. "But it's very uncomfortable." She doesn't want to find the response in Beatrice's eyes, content to hear it from her voice. The soft British lilting accent that holds her just as soft as a touch.
She waits, she can picture Bea’s mannerisms with her eyes closed but maybe she should check just to be sure. Ava peers up at Beatrice and she’s suddenly closer. Her eyes really are pretty, there’s a depth to them that Ava wants to spend an ungodly amount of time studying.
“Can I help?”
#tko_writes#AND THEN THEY BANGGGG NASTY UGLY HARDDDDD#tenatively titled:#Do you think i'm kind?#in which i dump soup all over this google doc#soup being trauma#yeah this is ooc what about it#i need to go to bed right now#can u believe it i wrote something relatively normal#bleghhh#it wasn't as bad as I thought it would go#canon writing is boring to me personally but this wasn't too bad#it's just like blah blah imagine having a metal ring in ur back and how sleeping on ur side affects your body#just like body horror#and like the constant reminder of it because how do u escape something that's so uncomfortable sitting between ur shoulder blades but#helps you move and do all the things u dreamed of???#anyway got bonked with this idea talking with ard#everyone thank ard for this if u liked it#i was supposed to write more but i've gotta go to bed#Ava's thoughts are all over the place but i'm gonna say that's cuz she's sleepy#something somethign it's just all the trauma she's gone through because she's had the halo is present and she's constantly reminded of it#because it jostles inside of her and no one was really fit to house a halo#something something GET RID OF THE HALO BEARERS LET THOSE WOMEN LIVE THEIR LIVES#RAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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