#just some silly little guys with criminal records

[sharksnshakes]

Random Traits Gotham Villains Find Attractive! HC's

Love's hard to come by in Gotham City, but that doesn't mean people stop looking--even villains.

A/N; gotham has a special place in my heart and i'm making it everyone else's problem!! but yeah idk these are just my Hot Takes, hope y'all enjoy (gif via giphy)

Wordcount; 139

TW; none i can think of!

Jeremiah Valeska: innovation, craftiness, unpredictability, someone who knows what they want

Edward Nygma: self-awareness, spontaneity, the kind of person who gets up after being knocked down and will keep chasing their goals regardless of what's in their way

Jerome Valeska: grit, persistence, someone who has a unique worldview, like an artist who can see beauty in the mundane

Victor Zsasz: independence, somebody who's unapologetically themselves, isn't afraid to speak their mind, and isn't easily shaken

Jonathan Crane: introspectiveness, someone who's their own person first, the black sheep of a group

Jervis Tetch: individuality and open-mindedness, the kind of person who's a good listener and doesn't easily blend in with a crowd

Oswald Cobblepot: reliability, the friend who waits for you to finish tying their shoes while the rest of the group walks away, imagination

[fifthnailinstevesbat]

thinking of a new steddie fic/au hmmm.

It’s just the classic, Steve buys weed from Eddie in season 1 era, he and Tommy meet him at the bench in the woods behind school. Steve and Eddie have some playful banter and clearly get along, but it’s dismissed as just a drug deal and they go on about their lives.

Next time they meet is when a frantic Steve comes and finds Eddie after he’s just fought off the demogorgon for the first time. He’s rattled, and skittish, wearing a nasty black bruise on his eye, and just overall not acting like himself. He snaps at Eddie multiple times to just ‘hurry up’ and ‘get him his stuff’, and sure he’s being an asshole, but more than anything Eddie is just concerned. He has never seen The King Steve Harrington lose his cool like this. So Eddie cautiously gives him the weed, making sure not to give too much, and lets him go about his day, but not before asking if he’s alright. Steve clearly wasn’t expecting this and brushes it off defensively, but that doesn’t mean he’s not thinking about it for the rest of his week. How the hell did Eddie Munson notice something was wrong, when his own parents didn’t? Nor his “friends”?

They cross paths again a year later, the beginning of season two. Steve is still with Nancy and has freshly dumped his old douchebag crew of superficial friends. He is still sitting quite comfortably on the higher ranks of popularity, but there is no denying his status is not what it used to be. He comes to buy weed from Eddie in the first week back at school, and it’s a casual interaction. He’s still as charmingly stuck up as he ever was, but now without Tommy there to judge his every move, he seems a little more at ease when making casual conversation with Eddie. Eddie doesn’t mention the year before and Steve is so glad for it, secretly very embarrassed that he went to Eddie for some refuge after arguably his most traumatic experience to date. He gets his stuff, giving Eddie a smirk when he notices he’s dropped the price significantly for Steve when it’s just him alone. Eddie gives him a challenging smile back, almost daring him to call it out, but he doesn’t. They both just laugh and part ways.

The next run in is tina’s halloween party. They notice eachother when Steve first arrives, making eye contact and giving a polite nod. Maybe Eddie lifts his drink up to Steve in a silly salute. They don’t speak at all or make any effort to hang around eachother. That is, until Steve storms down the stairs in a rage after he’d gone up there with Nancy Wheeler. But then are those- tears? Eddie was standing on the front porch smoking a cigarette, trying to discreetly hide from one Billy Hargrove to avoid having to sell him anything, but staying visible enough that he won’t lose all chances of making any money tonight. Steve storms right past him and hits his shoulder. Eddie whips around and is about to call him a dick before he sees who it is.

Steve tries to quickly wipe his face, he won’t make eye contact with Eddie, and he’s clearly trying to get out as fast as he can. Eddie doesn’t let him, though, since he’s obviously not thinking very clearly and is most likely about to do something emotional and stupid. He asks if Steve’s alright, and his answers are all short and rushed, so he’s definitely not. They’re not really friends, but Eddie’s not an asshole.

— “Did you drive?” Eddie asks

“Yeah”

“Well, you’re drunk, Steve. You can’t get behind a wheel right now. And if I knowingly let you, then that makes me an accomplice. I’ll take you home.”

Steve tries to protest, attempting to push past him, but Eddie interjects. “Yeah, yeah, alright! Don’t thank me yet, Steve’o. This is not for you, see, I’m not trying to get a criminal record, here. I cant go to prison, Steve. Do you know what they’d do to a pretty guy like me in prison? Nope, let’s go hot stuff.” —

Eddie takes Steve home. They don’t talk much. By the time they reach Steve’s drive way and Eddie has put his van in park, Steve is making no attempt to exit the vehicle just yet. Eddie doesn’t know what to do, he didn’t really plan this far, so he’s just tapping away awkwardly at his steering wheel while Harrington stares down the dashboard so clearly lost in thought Eddie fears his head might explode. Steve tells Eddie what happened, says it’s ‘relationship troubles’, and he’s not quite sure what compelled him into being so honest with Eddie Munson, but he’s blaming the alcohol. Eddie wasn’t expecting that. They chat for a bit, Eddie makes Steve laugh and considers the whole night a success after that. Then they start cracking jokes about their shared hatred for Hargrove, and Steve looks and sounds a bit more ok to go inside. He thanks Eddie, quite sincerely actually, and it throws him a bit. He stutters a ‘yeah, for sure. It’s no problem.’ And Steve goes home.

After that, it’s a little different. Steve, doesn’t actually really have anyone, anymore. When they go back to school he’s now greeting Eddie here and there in the hallways, making conversation when they find themselves alone together, in the lunch line or at the bathroom sink. He doesn’t approach Eddie when there’s too many people around, though. As much as he’s grown, Steve Harrington still carry’s some prejudice in him about how certain things may make him look. But it doesn’t bother Eddie too much. It’s not like they are really friends, they’re just like, strange acquaintances. And Steve would never deny that they get along, that really Eddie’s ‘not so bad’. So that’s a win.

Steve finds Eddie again not long after the party to buy some more weed, a plan that sparked purely out of boredom. Eddie says yes, of course, but tells him if he wants it today he will need to wait till after school and meet Eddie at his place, since he was busy. So Steve takes a trip to the Munson trailer to make his deal. Eddie invites him inside and they sit together on the couch as he gets Steve’s bag ready. They end up making quite pleasant conversation, joking around and ultimately finding they are really enjoying each other’s company. They enjoy it so much so, that Steve ends up smoking there, with Eddie. So now they are kind of like, hanging out? And it’s fun, so they do it again. Still they’re not, friends friends, they just get along. Eddie just sells Steve weed sometimes and they keep it civil.

He doesn’t hear from Steve for a while, and the next time he sees him it’s from a distance, in passing. The man has the most roughed up face Eddie has ever seen, bruised and swollen in multiple areas, stitches and bandages all over. It’s really, concerning? completely metal, but alarming. This is the second time Eddie has seen the guy all beaten up like that. He knew that boys fight, but surely not that bad? As worried as he was, Eddie doesn’t approach him to ask questions, because they don’t know eachother like that. So he goes on about his day, and he doesn’t see Steve again after that for quite some time.

Then it’s summer, Eddie isn’t graduating again, and he’s not really sure what to do with himself over the break. The new mall has just opened up, and there’s a cool music store up on the second floor that he likes to visit sometimes with his band friends. And wouldn’t you know, working at the Scoops Ahoy located directly across from his favourite store, is Steve Harrington. The guy hasn’t come to Eddie for any weed since last year, and then there was that sighting where he looked like he’d just fallen face first into a flying fist or two, so it’s been a minute since Eddie’s seen him. And he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t a nice surprise. He only goes into scoops once. He’s curious, okay? Sue him. And, he knows the girl who works with him, Robin. So he plays it off like he had no idea he’d see Steve there. And to his surprise, Steve actually acknowledges him. He doesn’t act like Eddie is a total stranger just because they’re not in school anymore. The interaction is quick, they make very casual conversation, Eddie says hi to Robin, grabs his milkshake and goes home. That’s all. He doesn’t go back, and he doesn’t really plan to. Steve’s nice, and he knows Eddie’s around if he needs to buy from him again, and that’s really as far as their relationship goes. That’s all it ever was. It’s been fun getting to know Steve Harrington a little bit better, even if it was just for a short time. Eddie liked having the chance to see in past the quaffed hair and pressed polo shirts to learn that Steve was really just a person under it all. He never thought he’d say it, but Harrington wasn’t so bad. It was a nice little eye opening experience for Eddie.

Eddie was ready to write off his little blips of interaction with Steve Harrington as a thing of the past, no hard feelings, and move on with his life. That is, until he gets a knock at his front door in the middle of the night afew days after the big mall fire. And it’s Steve on the other side. And he looks awful, his face is the worst Eddie’s ever seen it. And he wasn’t really knocking, more like pounding. He says he needs Eddie’s help.

What the fuck?

[the-autumn-apple-artworks]

౨ৎ. Watch me selfship with myself /J/SILLY

OK GUYS;;; I MIGHT'VE GOTTEN;;; A LITTLE SILLY;;;

This started as a kinsona, and remained as such, HOWEVER it ended up with me using him to selfship with Ivrig, the kin in question,,,

Is this self-love????? I guess????? Yeahhhh whatever here, have a bunch of homosexual cabinets <3333

IN ADDITION !!! LORE !!!! UNDER THE CUT !!!

It's very very long so have a good read I guess </333 I put much passion into the homosexuals /silly

CW: mutilation, murder, transphobia, religious trauma

This is how his document would look like after he's scheduled for hacking:

NAME: Doe Santomassimo SEX: Female, although undergoes a masculine identity AGE: 20 HEIGHT: 170cm WEIGHT: 60kg

"A university student. No other instances of criminal record. Charged with mutilation and public exposition of corpses, and murder, shortly after the incident of a previous reformation target known as Yamamura. Found to be a BUG owner through scanning."

Doe is an Italian deer-folk, that's why I chose Santomassimo (can be translated into "Great Saint") as his surname, I just picked one of the most common surnames in my small town cuz ofc I wouldn't use mine even if I wanted to HJDHSDFJSFH

The reason why there isn't an actual birthname listed like for Ivrig still having "Kosuke" along with his chosen name, is that lore-wise, Doe undergo a legal name change. Ivrig, instead, stood with Kosuke during the legal name change in my personal headcanon of him being actually trans. In fact, in game he is not mad that people use Kosuke for him, he is more uncomfortable when his family insists on referring to him as "Ko-chan" using a feminine and infantilizing suffix. Plus, on the documents, his sex is male, meaning he also undergo some sort of legal sex change on paper at least. That means his family accepts the fact he is trans but don't quite understand how to fully be an ally and still use the "-chan" suffix. I assume that general hatred around the LGBT folks has been greatly reduced thanks to the whole "the soul is a source code, everything is prewritten" so people had gotten more understanding of the "I was born this way" and don't see it as something harmful. Although I can still see the older folks being judgemental and always take the opportunity to assume that any sign of diversity is actually a BUG and therefore personality error

This was the case for Doe's parents. His mother was purely Catholic and strongly believed that God sent the BUGs to punish the sinners. As a consequence, Doe lived in fear that even a minuscule mistake could lead to his death, even living under his true identity

After finally getting into university, and convincing his parents to get him a house to stay in, Doe is met with a completely different mentality, everyone is much more accepting and he slowly gets out of his shell to come out as trans. However, not to his parents, at least until he is met with the opportunity to undergo a legal name change. His parents are obviously furious, but not completely against. Doe can still be a pretty feminine name, however, his parents are much more against the fact that he chose to "discard his heritage" and choose a much more standard, English name rather than his Italian birthname. Tho there was still his surname so no biggie in the end

As stated before, his surname can be translated to "Great Saint" although the heritage of said surname is not really specified to be founded by religious backgrounds, it still recalls it quite a lot

Always afraid of religion, he'd grown distant of it, never sharing such detachment to his family and pretending to still be a believer every time he would come back to his hometown during the holidays

Speaking of hometown, his family is Italian but lives in the same setting of Ivrig's. Doe ends up attending a university in the same big city as Ivrig to study design, and that's how they meet

EDIT: Ignore that I completely forgot to talk about Doe's family LOL but he also has a little sister! His mother was first a musician but had to abandon that due to having children, which made her become a music teacher instead. Doe's mother is, in fact, known for being a really good pianist and everyone expected him to take the same passion for instruments. However, that did not happen and Doe took the same path as his father, which is becoming a designer. Everyone looked down on him because they thought that art would've been just a phase and "that job wouldn't have brought him anywhere if not under a bridge". It did not help that Doe's little sister DID take the music passion and started playing all sorts of instruments. Since the little sister took the musician path that the mother couldn't take, Doe was expected to at least take the teaching path. Of course, that wasn't the case, and Doe insisted heavily to go to university and study design. After a tough battle with his parents, they finally agreed

(Post Mindhack, Doe's family becomes more supportive, realizing that MAYBE they've fucked up lol) BACK ON THE LORE TY SORGY

Doe would always go to a specific square near most of the universities' campuses. He wasn't that good with social interaction and never really made much friends to hangout with, most importantly he wasn't used to the chaotic city life, so a nice, calm space where he could sit on a lone bench and draw whoever caught his interest was his go to activity

One day, Ivrig decides to use said square as a preaching spot: everyday he would settle down there at the same hour and preach loud and proud about LAGOM. Every time, Doe was there. Ivrig's passion and his over-the-top personality caught Doe's eyes, enough to actually lend an ear and listen, signing down information as he constantly imprinted Ivrig's poses on his notebook through doodles

He found himself interested for the first time into something related to religion. It quite resonated with him. Feelings are a hassle, they're complicated, everyone expects something different from him and from the way he chooses to express himself, sometimes people make themselves unreadable and confusing as if they were doing it on purpose! He didn't like doing mental gymnastic every time! How others would hate how he struggled with feeling empathy or feeling anything at all! What if... what if he could be inorganic?

However he didn't really feel like just- going there and ASK, that was too embarrassing! Instead, he sneaked behind Ivrig, and sticked a doodle page he made for him to his metal cabinet using a magnet, running away clumsily as soon as Ivrig turned around. Now, Doe is quite recognisable anyway so, the next day, at the same hour, Ivrig started preaching again but, instead of standing still in the middle of the square, he walked around it until he could locate Doe, stopping right in front of him to ask a rhetorical question and conclude it with "Isn't that right, Notebook?" addressing Doe directly

This is what started it all, Doe couldn't really run away from that anymore and, deep down, it was his plan all along, so this time he would be forced to confront Ivrig and get into the religion

One traumatic family disowning experience later, Doe is now living in the shared households of the LAGOM House, and what do you know, it's the same one where Ivrig also lives in. Doe survives with his scholarship and part-time job money, which is more than enough considering the high sense of community and the other believers helping him out, just like they did for Ivrig. In a way, Doe became Ivrig's disciple, always going to him whenever he was in doubt

Once he reached Ivrig's rank (Shelves and the like) he also chose a cabinet. Most of the believers expected him to pick a library or anything else related to his strong passion for drawing and designing, however, Doe explained his choice saying he based himself off "functionality and affordance" rather than passion and the being easy-to-assemble. Being a student in design, he follows the rules of "affordance", which is "the characteristics or properties of an object that suggest how it can be used. It shows a user that an object can be interacted with.". The main 3 agents that can be interacted with are Buttons, Switches and Sliders/Levers, with the main 3 interactions being Push, Pull, Turn. A good object is functional if designed to be as such, following the rules of affordance. A library is static, it's just a storage. A cabinet is dynamic, it has a door, it can communicate how to use such door and can be designed in many different, artistic and yet functional ways. Moreover, he designs his own cabinet head to be perfectly functionable, removable, and with glasses incorporated. Ivrig is quite jealous of that but he would never admit that out loud HAJHDFJSH

But, most importantly, he is quite the homosexual for Ivrig, but we don't talk about that /SILLY

Just kidding, we're absolutely going to talk about the homos

Doe is absolutely crushing on Ivrig however none of the two are able to read the room, with Doe thinking that his crush on Ivrig is just him blowing his sense of admiration out of proportions, and Ivrig thinking that Doe's obvious romantic hints are just a demonstration of appreciation because he's such a great preacher

It DOESN'T HELP that, while venting/gossiping to each other about their lives, Ivrig mentions the scam incident, where he truly believed to have met the girl of his dreams. Now Doe thinks Ivrig's straight </3

Soon enough, however, Doe can't resit and, while they're alone and Ivrig is sharing some random fact he knows, he removes his cabinet and gently grabs Ivrig's hands to kiss them since- he can't kiss him due to the cabinet being wielded shut from the inside (for now <3)

Doe and Ivrig are now going through this very simple and fluffy relationship where all they do is just,,, being boyfriends and hold hands that's all <333333

THAT,,,, is,,, until Ivrig does what he does,,,,

Doe takes Ivrig's place as a preacher... however that does not last long as he cannot accept that the one he loved and that actually accepted him could've done such things without a reason. So, in order to prove his devotion to Ivrig he goes against LAGOM and recreates the exact same crime. With the difference that Doe exposes the corpses in a whole ass artistic exhibition IN THE SAME SQUARE that Ivrig used to preach in

When Doe is scheduled for hacking, Ivrig had already been dismissed, so imagine seeing your boyfriend on the news before you could have the time to meet him again after getting reformed,,,, augh,,,

Yes cuz, Ivrig DOES remember Doe, all that the BUG erased was LAGOM and his identity connected to It. There might be missing pieces, a LOT of them, but he still remembers that they were in a relationship. However, Doe... doesn't remember much of Ivrig. That is because Doe is a huge people pleaser, he is the kind of guy that is willing to do everything to receive the approval from anyone that even barely shows affection to him. His BUG's outbreak reached its peak due to his denial and desire to receive approval from the one he loved. This resulted into Doe not believing in LAGOM anymore, but also considering Ivrig a charlatan, not remembering much of him in the first place, let alone the fact that he had a relationship with him

Following the headcanon that Captain, Rookie and Unid end up becoming Ivrig's found family, Ivrig doesn't have that many problems going in and out of the HOTFIX building, skipping the security procedures cuz that's their son bitch /silly

So, Ivrig runs to Doe and is immediately struck by the terrifying "Do I know you?" statement </33333

Think that maybe Ivrig went without his cabinet (since I headcanon that after being mindhacked he gets help to remove it and modify it so that he can wear it again and take it off with ease) or left it to Miki or Captain while he waited to be able to visit Doe so he goes back to get the cabinet and wear it again and Doe is like "Ohhh aren't you like-??? That weird ass charlatan?? I followed your preaching and did that bad stuff!!"

Oh well that got worse

So like, Ivrig says "Omg no way I got reformed too I don't follow that god anyway either-!!" and Doe is NOT convinced cuz "Well if you got reformed that's another reason why I shouldn't trust you blindly!"

Ivrig is so heartbroken and asks Captain for advice cuz ofc he would that's his mom now and she's like, immediately in to help and offers to take the guard's shift and watch over Doe instead to talk to him and subtly ask about Ivrig and what he thought about him and if he remembers, which brings in the whole speech about "changing the scenery" (y'know? the same speech she gave to Doctor about change?) cuz yeah Doe is 100% valid for not wanting to listen anyone blindly anymore and become more of his own person instead of being so dependable of other's acceptance, but y'know Ivrig could still care for him nonetheless. They had BOTH changed, that's more than one reason to try again

So they talk again and they figure out that Ivrig doesn't remember shit about his time at the LAGOM House, but Doe DOES and vice versa since, during their time together, they've vented to each other so now they remember facts about the other person but not about their own lives. Even if it's very minimal they share what they remember about the other, tho Ivrig doesn't specify anything about them being together since Doe doesn't seem to remember that at all

So this time, it's IVRIG trying to send hints in the clumsiest way possible and Doe NOT catching them at all <3333

AUUGHHHH I love the gayyssssss

Ty for listening to my homosexual rambling (it will happen again) <3

[igotanidea]

Growing up : Jason Todd x fem!reader

A/N: the reader vigilante name is Ego (messing with people heads, but not like a metahuman, she just has natural psychological talents). Previously named Cheshire (I realised that there already was a character named like that a bit too late and had to fix it - Ego is the story about it)

Other parts of this verse: Cheshire cat, That damn gala, Five years later, Tired, Benched (not necesarilly in that order, but Five years later is previous to Tired)

***

I was so, so, soooo tired my eyes were simply closing themselves without any involvement from my part.

I haven’t been sleeping well lately. Guess it had something to do with my broken and casted right leg. According to the doctor it's been healnng perfectly and the aching and itching that prevented my night rest was the first example of it. Maybe, but I still hated it. Over six weeks ago I had an accident during patrolling. Silly, rookie mistake got me falling down and before I was able to regain my balance I found myself lower.

Three floors lower.

It was a miracle I only ended up with broken leg. I mean, a little bit more impact and I would end up with damaged spinal cord, paralyzed for life, unable to move a single muscle from the neck down.  However, at the moment everyone who were fighting besides me held their breaths.

6 weeks ago

“EGO!” I heard Oracle yell through the comm. Honestly, her voice would bring the dead from behind the grave.

“Damn it!” Dick hissed and without any hesitation ditched his opponent and rushed to check up on me, doubling on my pain and guilt. I screwed up and now, the team was paying the price. Nonetheless he did not seem to care when he landed next to me in his swiftly, acrobat-like way.

“Stop showing off” I rolled my eyes, grabbing the leg “It’s not that kind of circus.”

“One thing for sure, your tongue wasn’t damaged during the fall. Where does it hurt?”

“Knee.”

“Show me.”

“It’s not that bad….” I tried to move away from his hands and it made me squeal in pain.

“Y/N.”

“Red card, Nightwing. You broke the “no real names” rule of Batman. You’re off the field.”

“Stop it.” He said, so calmly that it really did make me hold back my words. “Let me help you.”

“Ok.” I muttered looking down, letting him check on my limb.

“I don’t think it’s broken, but anyway, I need to get you out of here. It’s dangerous for you to stay any more than necessary. Anyone could get to you in this weakened state.”

“That’s the sentence I haven’t heard …. ever I think. Up till now, it was hazardous for criminals to meet me, not the other way round.”

“There’s a first time for anything, I guess” he shrugged. Oh, how I hoped Oracle got that on her record. I was so going to use his own words against him in the future “can you try to help me lift you up?”

“Sure. I think” I leaned onto the left, unharmed leg, that was supposed to bear my weight, but the second Dick held his hands towards me to support my efforts, we both heard a loud snap and I couldn’t hold back a cry of pain. If it wasn’t for Dick I would fall again and as an addition to the leg injury would also get some bruises and cuts on the face. “FUCK! I think it’s broken now.”

“Both of you are getting home. Immediately. You better get her here without any more bodily harm or we will have to deal not only with disappointed Bruce, but also with enraged Jason.”

***

“I’m sorry Dick. I really am.” Half an hour later I was sitting on the examination couch, my leg splayed in front of me, while Babs was scanning it and using all of her cutting-edge tech to assess the injury.

“Could you just stop it? WE missed a chance, not the first time and definitely not the last one. This guy we were chasing tonight were not even that important and we will get to him this week, I’m sure of it. You just made a mistake, which frankly speaking wasn’t even yours.”

“What?” I shifted a bit to face him and the change in angle made me gasp in sudden piercing pain.

“Don’t move!” Babs hissed and I smiled apologetically, my eyes still on Dick.

“What do you mean it wasn’t my mistake?”

“I had it all calculated, you know. He was going for that punch, you were in perfect distance so you could get to him, but when I took a swing he used this as a leverage to turn and push you with right hand, not the left I was aiming at.”

“Thanks for the clarification, Dick. But I still take a bit of the blame. After all I was the one who slipped a bit. Damn those shoes need fixing.”

“You won’t be needing them for a while, Y/N” Babs muttered “you have a  disjointed kneecap and a fracture in your  shinbone.”

“Shit.” I rubbed my forehead in frustration. “How long?”

“Tim has better experience in the medical field, but …..”

“I can’t believe you just said that out loud, Babs” Dick couldn’t help but let out a laugh and met with our angered gaze “Sorry girls, but this is funny…. Isn’t it….? Ok, all right! Stop giving me this murderous look of yours! I surrender!”

“I think you’ll be excluded for something around 6 weeks.”

“6 weeks?! Can I get a second opinion?”

“From Tim?”

“Will do. Hope he, Damian and Bruce had more effective patrol in their part of Gotham. ….. Wait, you didn’t tell them what happened, did you?”

“Of course not.” Barbara scoffed and fixed the strand of hair that was falling in her eyes. “But I’m pretty sure they already know.”

“How?”

“Um….”

 “Babs!?”

“I might have used the open channel while talking to you…..”

“So, everyone knows?” Dick jumped from his chair and came closer to us “like… the entire family ?”

“ I’m afraid so.”

“You know what guys? It makes me feel so much better that you two make rookie mistakes as well.” For the first time this night I grinned happily.

***

“It was a simple task. In and out. No obstacles. No complications. No intruders.” Bruce with his most stern expression was haranguing us, like we were some newbies in the vigilante business. Like he never did anything wrong while fighting. I mean, I’m sorry, let me recall this statement. Of course, he never made any mistake. He was the Batman.  “Could you tell me, what went down there, that now one of you is about to be put in the cast and the other is pacing around my cave?”

“Sorry, Bruce, I’m just overly excited because of the fact Y/N won’t be able to run away from my surprise hugs for a while” Dick grinned and his statement made me curse under my nose.

“What happened there? And focus on the facts.” Bruce sighed and his face dropped a bit.

“I’m not really sure.” I tapped my chin “What do you think, Dick? What happened there?”

“I thought you hurt your leg, not your brain?”

“Side effect, I suppose.”

“That’s a shame.”

“I’m just giving you the opportunity to come up with a reliable story before Jay gets here and tear the batcave down in his fit of anger.”

“Fair point.” Dick nodded “how about this: a ninja came out of nowhere…..”

“A ninja?” both me and Bruce asked in unison, his voice desperate, mine incredulous of his idea.

“What? I hate ninjas.” Dick shrugged

“We know.” we both retorted together once again.

“I’ll just tell him I ditched you on the field and tripped while returning to the manor. I like this rebellious strike this story gives me. You know, that whole I don’t give a fuck attitude.” I chimed in before Dick could develop his idea further.

“Oh, he will never believe that you left me alone.”

“And why exactly not?”

“’Cause everyone knows you have a soft spot for me, Y/n. You wouldn’t endanger my health and life this way. It’s simply improbable.” His smile was so ridiculously confident it made me question my sanity.

“In your dreams, Grayson. “

***

With some help I was transported to my room, while I had to wait for the family doctor, Jonah Hill to come and put me in the cast. The thought of being benched for so long made me feel like vomiting. Up to that I was still wondering why the hell all the Waynes, including Cass and Steph were now back from the patrol and the person I needed most was out of reach. It made me worried and spinning into belief something might have happened to him. Luckily, Tim was there to keep me company.

“How are you doing, Ego?”

“I’m about to be crippled, can you imagine?” I rolled my eyes and Tim pursed his lips “Sorry, Tim, I didn’t mean to be harsh. I need to switch the mode from the one tuned onto your older brothers to the one tuned on you.”

“How is that different?” he asked sitting on the edge of the bed.

“With Dick, it sometimes feels like he see the little girl in me and I have to prove that I’m a grown up, capable of handling myself. With Jason, you know, we tease each other, we bicker and spite but it’s just a common sense of dark humor we both understand and that brings us closer. With you, I can be more sensitive, withdraw for a while without thinking I’m losing, drop all the pretenses.  I think out of everyone in this family you are the most insightful and I really, really like that, Tim. You might be the only one that brings some sense of peace to the Waynes. ” I smiled

“Thank you y/n/n.”

“You see, that’s consciously used nickname. I haven’t heard it in a while.”

“Just had a feeling it might lift your spirit.” He squeezed my hand lightly and I reciprocated.

“It did. Thank you too.”

“Y/n. Tim.” a male voice reverberated from the entrance.

“Morning, doctor.” Tim nodded in acknowledgement.

“Hi, Jonah” I smiled. He might have been an esteemed doctor etc., but he was dealing with this family for way too long to use his title. He has seen many, many injuries of Dick, Jason and mine, some more embarrassing then others, never knowing the real stories behind getting them. I mean, of course, no one ever told him we were Gotham’s vigilantes. Besides, he was at the same age as Dick, so I treated him like a friend, rather than someone who I should keep distance from. Even if he wanted more and was very clear about it in the past. Before me and Jay got together.

“What happened this time?” Jonah smirked

“Not much. Just casual broken leg.”

“Out of everyone I met in my practice you are excelling when it comes to self-distance. And you are a Wayne.”

“I was never legally adopted.” I pointed out.

“But you were raised by Wayne. With all the respect he’s not the one to joke about himself.”

“Can’t blame him for that” Tim muttered obviously referring to the part of our life Jonah had no idea about. “I’ll leave you two to it. I believe you are in good hands Y/n and …..”

“Can’t you be my emotional support here, Timmy?” I whined eyeing him with doe eyes. Maybe, subconsciously I didn’t want to be alone with Jonah. He still had that unintelligible tendency to flirt with me. Directly. Even if he knew I was with Jay. (speaking of the devil, I was still wondering what the hell was with him.) “Please?” this sounded more desperate than intended  but it was hard to give the air to the handsome doctor who I was not interested in but with who I had to keep good relationship. For the sake of the family and our health of course.

“Y/N?” Before Tim was able to answer Damian peeked through the half-open door. This little demon. Ever since he arrived at the Wayne Manor he had learn so much about people, emotions and relationships. Thanks to his natural intelligence he quickly figured out why I was acting strange around some family friends  and felt the need to keep me safe from any intrusion. Much to Jay’s annoyance since the red bat felt like his brother was stealing his job from him. What was even better about Damian was that he developed the ability to switch between his assassin, cold, sneaky self and the charming, innocent, youngest member of the family. And now, using his softest voice he was asking permission to come in and accompany me in the medical procedure. He looked almost sweet. Only Tim and I noticed the murderous glint in his eyes. He wanted to watch over me, rather than expand his knowledge.

“Come on in, Damian. I bet dr. Hill has nothing against your presence here, isn’t it right, Jonah?”

“Um… I…..” the MD stuttered and that gave away the fact that he was in fact going to flirt with me again and Damian just got in the way.

“See, Dami. Told you. “ I smiled and patted a spot next to me on the bed “You can even take a place here if you’d like.”

“Mhm. I think I’d like that.” He smiled, but this time it was more predatory then before “I could observe carefully.” And with those words, he jumped on the bed.

I really loved this silent connection with Damian. We never needed any words to communicate. It was extremely hard to get to him at the beggining, but unlike everyone else, who was approaching him with caution and gentleness I never did it. He was an assasin. He was dangerous, sometimes. He was harsh and extremely direct in his opinions. But that was what I liked about him. And while everyone focused on showing him the meaning of friendship and family, introducing Dami to the other part of life, he never knew about, I was rather concentrated on proving to him that all the traits he possesed that people assumed were bad could actually be used for his benefit. I think that was why in time we developed pretty strong bond.

***

“I think that would be it….” a while later Jonah finished his work and started gathering  utensils, almost shaking under Damian’s predatory gaze. He did not have enough time to get used to the little Wayne.

“You can ease up, now.” I whispered when the doctor turned around “I think you scared him enough. And besides, he’s leaving now.”

“Whatever.” Dami shrugged but eased up his glare. A bit.

“I guess I’ll see you in two weeks, Y/N. Just to make sure everything goes in the right direction with healing.”

“Sure. You know I appreciate your care Jonah. We all do, right Dami?”

“Sure.” the boy crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes

“I… um… I’m gonna go now. I know the way, no need to see me out and …..”

“Where is she?!” of course Jason chose this moment to burst through the door and immediately collided with the other man “What the hell are you doing here?!”

“Dr. Hill came to provide medical attention, Jason. Which I desperately needed.” I explained in the low voice, accenting some parts of the sentence just to spite my boyfriend further.

“I was just leaving.” Jonah stuttered. Guess he still remembered his last confrontation with my jealous boyfriend. To tell the truth, I remembered it too - the aftermath were quite pleasurable, Jay made sure of that.

“Good for you” Jason hissed “farewell, doctor. Now, off you go too, demon. I need Y/N for myself.”

“Are you sure she wants it?” Damian stood up in front of Jay, the height and posture difference being so comical I couldn’t help a single laugh.

“Pretty positive.”

“Why don’t we ask her then? Y/N, do you want Todd to stay?”

“Hm. I’m not sure…..” I tapped my chin thoughtfully

“WHAT?! How can you not be….?!”

“You are late, Jay. How does the saying goes? You snooze you lose?” Damian smirked upon my words.

“Y/N!” Jason exclaimed.

“Oh, and now you are yelling at me.” I pouted “And I’m severely injured. And in extreme pain. This is just so… so…. “ I sobbed in a phony matter “… unfair….”

“Oh, come on….” he gasped and threw hands in the air in desperation “this is way too dramatic for you.”

“Yeah, you’re right” I dropped the theatrics immediately. It was no fun pretending when he already knew I was doing it. “I’ll be fine, Dami. You can go. Thanks for staying though, it was funny observing Jonah so intimidated.”

“If you need anything......”

“Don’t worry, demon. I got her covered.” Jace practically pushed Damian out the door and closed it tightly. “He’s a menace.”

“He’s… intense. But we both know he is a good boy, Jace.”

“Yeah, whatever you say.” He shrugged standing in place. Oh, the war of nerves he was waging against me. Of course, he was not going to show any care. At least not in the beginning. But I wasn’t going to relent. If he wanted teasing, teasing he would get.

“Guess I’ll be benched for a while.” I pointed towards my leg “and that means Jonah will be coming here to check on me. I wonder if he’s going to be as friendly as usually when he gets me alone.”

“Stop saying his name!” he hissed and fell onto the bed next to me, cupping my cheek. Unlike his harsh voice, the touch was so gentle caring and loving. “Stop talking about him. I hate that guy. He almost stole you from me.” He moved closer, leaning his forehead on mine and then he realized “You did this on purpose didn’t you, my girl?” 

“Of course. But I love how it turned out.” I stretched my arms and locked them around his neck pulling him closer. “Hi, Jace.”

“Hi, baby.” He pecked my lips chastely and rubbed my sides carefully “How are you feeling?”

“I’ll survive. If anything I would die out of boredom in the next weeks.”

“We’ll figure something to keep you entertained.”

“Like helping Babs in her woman in the chair position?”

“For starters. You will get to see me in action on the big screen, how does that sound?”

“I’ll make a crack video.” I laughed at him and he frowned “Hey, don’t be mad, Jay.” I laid my head on his shoulder and he exhaled deeply, playing with the strand of my hair.

“I could never be mad at you.”

“Is that a challenge?” I sneaked a peek at him.

“Ok, stop it now. I’m trying to be thoughtful and caring here. You’re ruining the moment.”

“Sorry. Guess I have tendency to push the point.” I sighed and felt his arms wrap tighter around me. It must have been hard and uncomfortable to hold me like this, with my leg outstretched but he did not complain. “What took you so long? Are you all right, Jaybird?”

“I’m good. Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner, baby, I played a vital part in the ambush for the …..”

“ I know. I knew the plan we were executing. I was just worried and the crazy thoughts kept creeping in and ..... ”

“Hey. Stop spiraling. It's about you, not me.” he pulled away “look at me” I followed and once again our gazes met, making me melt. Jason was stubborn like a mule, ironic, impenetrable, acting like an edgelord towards everyone and keeping his distance. But when someone (like me) was persistent enough to get through, all the good things inside him were enough to cover up for the worse ones. Now, he was looking at me with so much love, attention and care it was indescribable ”I love you.” he whispered slowly, eyes never leaving mine and tears started falling down my cheeks. Guess we both sucked when it came to good emotions. 

“I love you too Jason. So freaking much. Please, don’t leave me now.”

“I’m not going anywhere, baby. But you need rest. Your body needs rest. Let it have it. I’ll keep you safe.”

“From who?” I laughed and he followed.

“Anyone.” Jason answered kissing the top of my head. “You do realize you will have to stay in the manor until you heal, right?”   

“Look who’s ruining the moment now.”

***

Third person POV

10 hours later.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Dick hissed when he saw Y/N walking around in the batcave “You are injured!”

“It’s not an excuse for being lazy.”

“I swear you are getting worse than Tim. You need rest!”’

“Mhm, sure, someone told me that before. I think I got enough sleep for a lifetime. And now….”

“Do you want me to call upon Damian?”

“I don’t think he respects you enough to come upon a call. He wouldn’t listen. Besides, what would he do?”

“Do you want me to call Jason?”

“Getting desperate here, Dickie?”

“Y/N.”

“What? I just… I want to help you guys. It’s 9 p.m., normally I would be preparing for patrolling and my body just falls into this pattern, adrenaline kicking in. I won’t be able to stay here doing nothing.”

“We’ll be fine.”

“Sure. Remember what happened last time you said it?”

“Care to remind me?”

“You got shot!”

“Minor inconvenience. And it healed fast.”

“I swear everyone in this family is insane.” She turned around to the extend her cast allowed her and threw hands in the air dramatically.

“You included?”

“Of course me included. It comes with even standing close to you or Bruce. You are like a disease.”

“You’re my favorite too, Y/N. Now go. The hell. Upstairs.

***

She swore she won’t be able to fall asleep, but her organism knew better. Or rather Jason knew better. When he saw her limping up the stairs, he just breezily, yet mindful of the leg picked her up and tucked in the bed.

“I hate it!” she pouted trying to get out again.

“Don’t even think about it” Jason warned.

“I’m not thinking, I’m simply doing.” she threw the blanket away but Jason was quick to take action.

“The hell you are.” taking her by surprise he laid in the bed next to her, putting an arm around her, nailing her to the mattress. “I’m not letting you out.”

“So what, now I’m a prisoner?” she shifted only to lay on the side and face him.  

“Am I a punishment for you? Is that what you are saying?”

“No” she sighed “this shit on my leg is.”

“I should really kick the ass of the one responsible for letting it happen.”

“That would be me, Jay.” She pointed out “Are you really ready to fight me?”

“We’ll spar after you get back to full health.”

“I’ll hold you to this word.” she smiled lightly “You know, I like it when you’re here, next to me…. Maybe I should not let you go.” Her hand travelled up his muscled arm and then down, tracing all the scars and cuts, relishing in his presence and this little moment of peace and open vulnerability. “Not that I hold such power over you, of course.”

“Sure not. You’re getting a bit too cocky here, sweetheart.”

“Hm.” She muttered “Can I at least keep you until it’s time to go?”

“I think I can manage that. But since we got only like an hour left, how about I compensate for it by bringing you closer to me?”

“I think I can manage that” she whispered and hummed softly when his hands found her waist pulling her in and shifting positions so that he was lying on his back and her head landed on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. The fact that they didn’t need any words to fill in the silence was the perfect indicator of how they felt about each other. Much to her displeasure she slowly started drifting off, lulled by Jason’s touch and gentling, his warmth and safety she felt with him. “Come back to me in one piece….” She muttered before the sleep enveloped her fully.

***

It was so damn hard to leave her and Jason’s heart ached at the simple thought of being forced to wriggle out of her embrace. Said hour later, Y/N was deeply asleep next to him, her warm, soft body being the sweetest weight he could imagine. Only now he realized he would have to go through the entire night without being able to hear her bickering through the comms and it made him shiver. She was probably the only one to understand his wicked sense of humor and help him keep his cool and remnants of level – headedness without falling back into the killing and violence with which he acted right after the pit. He loved her. He would give her everything and yet, she would settle for anything from him. She always claimed that his protectiveness was welcomed but not necessary. She didn't need his action, she needed him, his presence, time and soul. It was hard to comprehend at the begginig, but he was slowly learning how to love and be loved fully.

Jason closed his eyes, feeling her breathe calmly next to him. She was right, it’s been a while since they have been this peaceful and this close together and he hated the thought of being forced to break it. But she would understand. After all, she was a vigilante as well, familiar with the night patrols. And she would never ask him to stay back just for her whim.

Involuntarily, reluctantly, he started moving, the coldness of the air immediately replacing the softness and happiness he felt with her. Y/N whined quietly and adjusted her sleeping position to his absence, her hair falling straight onto her face due to the movement. Jason smiled, tucking them over her ear and caressing her cheek, which made the girl lean into the touch.

“Enough.” He had to bring himself upright. One more touch or kiss and he would forget about Gotham, patrols, missions and his entire family and lie down next to her again. She thought being benched would be hard for her, and yet never realized how much he would struggle through it.  

***   

“Babs…..” Y/N limped into the cave, dressed in Jay's hoodie and rubbing her eyes.

“Rough night?” the red haired girl turned from the computer, facing her younger friend.

“Something like that. I had a nightmare.”

“About? If you want to talk about it of course.“

“Nothing explicit” Y/N shrugged and perched on the edge of the desk “mission going wrong, people getting hurt…. the usual stuff.”

“You need something to keep your mind busy?”

“Yes, please. What do I do?”

“You have some tech skills, so you can be the one to walk boys through the patrol tonight” Babs smirked

“You want me to take your place?”

“Not fully. I’m not quitting my job just yet. But you can be the support. From what I see Red Hood has been unusually violent today and someone needs to pacify this one.”

“I’m not sure if it’s good idea for me to do it.” Y/N hesitated, picking her fingernails.

“And why exactly not?” Barbara frowned and eyed Y/N carefully “you’re working together on a daily basis. You are a couple. You know how to get to him.”

“I…. I don’t want to, Babs.”

“Why?”

“Cause he’s out there and I’m here. If anything happened I won’t be able to rush for help and…..”

“You’re worried.” Babs stated

“Maybe. But please, don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t. I promise. And believe me, I get it. When I was forced to hang the mantle of batgirl and Dick was out on the streets, I felt the exact same thing. But it’s just something you learn it time in relationship. You learn to let go of  your own fear for the benefit of the other person. You have to learn it or it will consume you and eventually lead to fights and misunderstandings.”

“Can you help me with it, Babs? I… I really don’t want to mess up what I have with Jay.”

“Sure y/n. I’ll help you. And I’ll make sure Dick have the same conversation with your boy.”

“I don’t…..”

“Hey, relax. It would be just brotherly talk. Jace is a prick but he loves you. But love needs to be mature. And he’s not there yet, sometimes he acts too emotional for the sake of both of you. I only do it because I care about you.”

“Thank you, Babs.”

"What are friends for?" Barbara nodded and would probably add something more if it wasn’t for the voice coming out of the speakers.

“Oracle, are you there? Why aren’t you responding?”

“I’ve just had important conversation with Ego, Nightwing.”

“About what?”

“Emotions. And you won’t like what I will ask you to do after you get back from patrol."

"Given our history together I think nothing can surprise me anymore."

"I'm sorry, is anyone working there? I need some intel!"

"Polite as usual, Red." Babs hissed "And in fact...." she glanced at me "I'm taking a night off."

"Whatever. I'll just handle myself then."

"Ego will guide you tonight." Babs smirked and I mentally facepalmed. She was so much like Dick at times.

"I hate you" I muttered but took her place in front of the screen "Hello Hood. Guess I won again. You are condemned to my advice."

"I think this is going to be an interesting night then, Ego."

"Oracle! Get Ego and Hood off the line now." Bruce hissed through the comms. "I swear I am working with immature kids."

"We're working on growing up, Bruce. We really do." Babs smiled, with zero intention of listening to his orders. Guess I was in charge after all and in fact, I started getting the feeling it would be quite enjoyable.

@pinksirensong

[carebeartherese]

My live reactions to Loki season two ep 5:

-WOOOO HERE WE GO

-running through the recap

-Im actually scared for this episode srsly

-oooo the almost silent intro

-ALIVE???

-he is angelic fr

-where is everyone???

-did they go back to their timelines??

-Im loving these continued camera shots

-pie room??

-TIME SLIPPING

-oh shit

-:0 double Loki

-hello?

-time slipping is just an excuse for Loki to flip his hair like the hoe he is /pos

-time loop???

-WHAT THE FUCK

-WHY IS EVERYTHING COMING APART

-SHIT

-oop there’s the theme

-prison??

-CASEY?????

-WHAT THE HELL

-oh hes escapin

-where are they i wonder

-a boat prison??

-no not again dude Loki can’t handle this

-ALCATRAZ????

-his name ain’t Frank lmfao

-oh it’s the BOAT PLACE

-dude why are we back in the tva

-:0 SHIT NEW YORK 2012

-Aw b15 is such a great doctor I love her

-MOBIUS WHAT ARE YIU DOING

-living his dream

-who tf is don

-also his son??? No thank you

-LOKI GO SEE YOUR MAN

-this is so unserious

-LOKI IS SO CUTE ABOUT MOBIUS

-Mobius is adorable

-SINGLE DAD???

-FUCK YEA

-ooo 1994

-OB!!!!

-hes so silly

-awww he just wants to sell his books

-hes a writer <333

-in his bunker???

-ITS JUST LIKE HIS LAB

-dude ob will believe anything that happens to him

-the sons of who??

-ob is so adorable with his little “hey”

-dammit

-none of that made sense OB

-cannot control the time slipping

-oooo true

-LOKI = TEMPAD

-to save his friends

-oh yea shit kang is coming aint he

-control it Loki!!!!

-nope

-you look like you’re trying to take a shit

-there is no controlling time

-OB WE DONT SHOCK PEOPLE

-OR WHATEVER THAT WAS

-stop psychoanalizing

-go to the pie room

-GET THE BAND BACK TOGETHER

-oh that’s actually kind of smart

-ob is adorable and I love him and his tism

-oh fuck there he goes

-TO MOBIUS AGAIN!!

-he sucks at taking the trash out

-yea Kevin

-these kids are literally adorable

-don’t burn down the house pls

-“HELLO”

-these guys are so awkward

-just kiss srsly

-WAIT THEY ARE SO CUTE

-HES SUCH A SALESMAN

-wife long gone????

-cause of the gay

-is he flirting??

-are jet skis flirting????

-mobius really thinks lokis crazy

-OB HI

-none of this makes sense

-awww the way he grabbed Mobius

-dude theyre so gay

-they need to just kiss already fr

-yea your kids will be fine mobius I swear

-hes just a suburb dad

-this is a little heartbreaking but also gay tbh

-IKR IT IS A COOL NAME

-B15!!!! Come with!!!!

-CASEY FUCK YEA

-ESCAPE

-where’s sylvie?

-mobius looks shook

-and Casey trusts no one the little thief

-mobius/don is he flirting with Casey/Frank

-I love sylvie but she always gets angry and fucks shit up

-please leave her out of this one

-WAIT WHAT

-HOW DOES SHE KNOW YOU

-wait till it back

-fuck get that time slipping under control

-sylvie with her lesbian fit and her mullet

-ok but Loki loves mobius and doesn’t wanna loose him

-uncaring queen

-I mean she wants to live

-damnnnnn

-WAIT CALL HIM OUT

-WHAT DOES HE WANT

-FALSE

-HE WANTS MOBIUS SRSLY

-oh come on Marvel be more specific

-of course he doesn’t wanna be alone

-don’t make this romantic again pls

-NO WE ARENT

-his story is with mobius tho!!!

-Casey is such a weird ass hardened criminal

-mobius stop trying to sell shit to people

-Loki you are so babygirl

-NO WHAT ABOUT THE GANG

-I don’t understand anything anymore

-is sylvie flirting with record shop guy??????

-THE VELVET UNDERGROUND

-HOLY SHIT

-literally what is happening rn

-whos this guy in the back

-oh he disappeared????

-why’s shit disappearing????

-NOOOO

-THE TIMELINES DECAYING

-OH GOD NO!!!

-NOT HOT RECORD SHOP GUY

-and she’s gone

-so is the timeline

-Loki is so sad and lonely

-MOBIUS KISS HIM PLS

-HE NEEDS TLC

-NOT TRUE

-a timeline just died for some reason

-Loki was just waiting for this opportunity

-CASEY DAMMIT SRSLY

-OH FUCK NO

-WAIT EVERYONE COME BACK

-NO MOBIUS PLEASE

-OH GOD NOT PLEASE NOT KNTO THE DARK

-THIS VERY BAD DREAM

-oh shit Loki use them timeslipping powers

-GO BACK IN TIME

-YOU CAN DO THIS BBG

-ITS ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS

-oh come on dont give me that fuckin cliffhanger

[chicago-pd-is-weird]

Alt Prompt 1: “Is this all a game to you?”

@the-three-shits-whump

Read it on AO3 via the link, or find it below the cut:

Hank sat in the cage, hands cuffed behind him, looking up at his two closest friends. He’d gone too far - again. Trudy had her arms crossed, tears streaking down her face. Al was leaning against the door of the cage, which was closed and locked, looking down as he picked at the skin around his nails.

Al sighed and spoke first. “You’re done.”

“Done? No. I’m just getting started. These guys deserve everything that’s coming to them, Al, and-“

“I said you’re done!” Al raised his voice, one of the rare times he did so. Hank deserved it. He looked at Hank, meeting his eyes with a dangerous glare. “Done! Forever!”

“You’ll have to kill me,” Hank said with a soft laugh. “Like putting down a diseased dog.”

“Is this all a game to you?!” Trudy cried, shaking her head and banging her fists on the cage. “Are you enjoying yourself?!”

“Very much so,” Hank replied, smiling as he stood, walking forward to meet her, face to face behind the chain link fence. “Yes, Dee, this is all a game to me. A silly little game. A fun little game. Murdering people, bad people, people nobody will miss - that’s the game. Killing them before they kill me.”

“Except you went too far this time,” Trudy replied with a huff, looking over Hank’s face through the holes in the fence. “Too far.”

“I only kill those who have to be killed. For the greater good.”

“What about the little girl?” Al asked.

“She got in the way! All I did was knock her out!”

“You killed her!” Trudy screamed. “You fucking killed her!”

“I knocked her on the head! It’s not my fault she died!”

“She had head trauma! It wasn’t just a blow, Hank, you bashed her skull in!” Trudy’s tears dropped from her face onto her chest.

“She’s not dead, she’s in the hospital.”

“On life support!” Al yelled. “She may as well be dead!”

“No,” Trudy said. “She is dead, because her grandparents decided to withdraw life support.”

“Then they killed her, not me,” Hank replied, shaking his head. “Her father would’ve killed her soon enough anyways.”

“That’s it,” Al replied, unlocking the cage. “That’s it. You are a sick animal. A deranged dog. You need to be put down.”

Hank chuckled. “Yeah, right. As if you’d do that, Olinsky. You couldn’t even handle Browning. Or, what about Pulpo? Advocating for his life? You don’t have it in you, O. How can you say that you’ll put me down when you can’t even put down some of the sickest criminals?”

“This isn’t revenge,” Al said, grabbing Hank and shoving him over to his Dodge Magnum. “This is justice.”

Trudy and Al pushed Hank into the trunk, taping his mouth shut, the closed it, driving hours outside of Chicago. The two drove in silence, considering exactly what they’d do, and how they’d do it. They needed to take care of the problem. They drove until they nearly ran out of gas, in which they stopped and fueled up, then drove more.

Finally, they stopped at some remote location near Green Bay, Wisconsin, but further north. Al stopped at a supply store, getting what he needed, just the way Hank had taught him.

The good old “Chicago necklace.”

It was just a few cinder blocks and a thick chain, but it was enough. He set them on the floorboards of the back seat. Trudy was crying silently in the second seat. Al got back into the car, sighing and taking her hand. “Want me to drop you somewhere? I can do this.”

“No,” Trudy whispered, shaking her head, squeezing Al’s hand. “For Jenny.”

“For Jenny.”

Al drove again, finding a secluded spot on the water. He found a small boat, paying under the table for it in cash, never to be put on the record. When everyone was gone for the night, he and Trudy got Hank out of the trunk.

Hank didn’t struggle. He didn’t even fight them, like they thought he would. He took it all without issue, getting onto the boat with Trudy and Al. He glanced between the two of them. He knew what was happening. It was evident by the looks on their faces. They’d already disarmed him, cuffed him, and made sure he couldn’t yell for help. The only thing left to do was kill him.

Once Al and Trudy were far enough out into the water, they looked at each other. The moon was covered by the clouds, making it so dark they could barely see one another, let alone anyone from the shore. Not to mention the fog that had started to roll in over the water.

Al stood up, taking the duck tape off Hank’s mouth for a moment, but didn’t say anything. Hank chuckled. “Want me to speak my last words?”

Al sighed, peering into the fog, as if he could see anything. Trudy spoke up, looking at Hank. “You don’t feel any remorse?”

“No,” Hank huffed. “I took care of the problem. She was collateral damage.”

“Then I know you’re really a monster. You’re not the man I met thirty years ago. You’re someone else. Someone… horrible. A man without a soul.”

“Call me what you will, Dee, I am what I am.” Hank shrugged.

Al turned around, tears rolling down his own cheeks now. “Fuck, Hank, I thought you’d at least…” He trailed off. What had he thought? That Hank would just come back to them?

“That I’d apologize? Feel sorry? Maybe even beg for my life?” Hank cocked an eyebrow. “You know me better than that, O. I’ve never begged and I won’t start now. Kill me if you want, but I won’t beg for my own life. I’ll live as long as I live and do whatever I do until someone else takes it away. I guess the question is are you gonna be the one to take it from me? Or will she?” He set his eyes on Trudy.

Trudy couldn’t help it. She slapped him, a hard, sharp slap to Hank’s cheek. “You’re a monster.”

“Yeah, I am,” Hank growled in reply.

“This isn’t who Camille would’ve wanted you to be.”

“She’s not here!” Hank yelled, lunging forward to knock Trudy over into the bottom of the boat. “She’s not here to dictate me! She left me! They took her away!”

Al grabbed Hank, pulling him off Trudy and punching him a few times until he was bleeding, then pulled him up and grabbed the chain, wrapping it around his neck.

Hank laughed. “Using my own technique on me, huh O?”

“Shut up,” Al replied.

“Stole it from me, like everything else has been stolen from me.”

“I said shut up!” Al pulled the chain right around Hank’s neck, making him laugh.

“Tighter, Al, I know you can. Choke me out. It’ll be harder to get the water into my lungs. A painfully slow death.”

Al shook his head, Trudy adjusting the cinder blocks so she could push them over the edge when they were ready. “I would never torture you like that,” Al replied, sighing again as he looked down at his former best friend, grabbing his revolver from his ankle and choking the hammer, pushing it against Hank’s forehead. “I’m not a monster like you.”

[plaindangan]

Kyoko hated how everyone in the academy needed to be in a club. It was distracting her from her work! So in spite, she started the "I fucked Kyoko Kirigiri club". The plan was to simply be the president of the club with zero members that would be eligible to apply. Except she totally forgot about him, and him too, and also- okay! So there's 3 members who are qualified to join. She definitely won't get turned on while they all recall the times they fucked the detective silly, right?~

Disclaimer: R18 material! If not to your liking then please do not view!

This...this was supposed to be a shell club.

Just something completely nonsensical that Kyoko can put down on her record to say she's apart of and then get on with her ways. This wasn't supposed to be a legit thing...

Unfortunately, those who joined seemed to have taken the option seriously. Meaning, there was Kyoko after school, blushing as she sat in the circle with three people who she had...relations with.

To the left was Mondo, who looked both surprised and impressed. In the middle was Kokichi who a shit eating grin on his face and to the right was Peko who, while not as embarrassed as Kyoko, was also blushing a bit from how open this was.

That just begged the question: How did each one of them bag the Ultimate Detective?

Well, being her classmate, Mondo went first.

"Yeah, never fuckin' expected we bang, but it just kinda happened. Kyoko was posin' as one of my guys to get closer to some dipshits that were connected to some theft spree. Course, they kinda had a nose for sniffin' out who of us was kinda fakin' it and when it came to Kyoko I had to think fast to say she was my girl. But..." He coughed, looking a bit flustered. "They was callin' bullshit on that, s-so...this crazy chick just started to not only jerk me off right then and there, but also began suckin' me clean! S-s-so I though 'alright, we doin' this and gotta sell the bit' so I after gropin' her fat ass a bit, she pulls down her shorts to start ridin' my dick until I filled her up! Wildest' fuck of my life I tell ya!!"

"Wow. From learning this, I suppose I do not feel as awkward over recounting my tale with Kyoko. I found her prowling about the Kuzuryu Clan's headquarters, trying to take pictures or looking for evidence of its recent dealings. I caught her before anyone more ruthless could spot her, but I still couldn't let her just leave with our secrets. Though, she was adamant of not leaving empty handed. Which was..." Blushing, Peko began to nervously continue. "Sh-she began to eat fondle me. She is quite skilled with her hands, and, as shameful as it is to admit...she knows exactly where to rub~ So, I had to at least give her several non-essential plans of the Clan in exchange for such an experience."

"Wooooooooow, wow, wow, wow~ Our little detective here is quite the Ultimate Skank, isn't she?~" Kokichi teased, ignoring the glare of daggers being sent in his direction. "Now, it's my turn!! So I maaaaaay have swiped an envelope with key evidence, and maaaaaaaaaaay have suggested the only way she could get it back if she decided to do a series of complex puzzles....." Kokichi pouted and looked disappointed. "Yeah, no, instead she kinda just slammed her big butt on my crotch until I passed out from spurting too much. Sheesh, did you stuff that thing with iron or what? Ehhhh, Ultimate Slutective?~"

"...."

Kyoko? The trio passed all looked at their club president, and could only watch as Kyoko's face was burning red in...anger(?) Hm? Walking up to the club door, she suddenly locked it and turned to her subordinates with a deathly stern look on her face.

"...Such mouthy underlings I have...if you are to be in this club, one rule goes above all else." All three gulped gulped as she began to strip down and approach them.

"Never blather on my methods of investigation - though perhaps using the rest of this time to remind you all will sink it into your heads, correct?~" Criminals weren't a very sharp bunch...but Kyoko will ensure at least these three wise up considerably.

[villain-sympathizer]

Hey, hello. Any chance I can get a nsfw hc or a confession of love with mr Compress? (Or both) 😁

I love this man so much.

YES ugh i love him so much too you have no idea 😭💕

i started writing this as general / romantic headcanons before realizing you asked for NSFW so uh, surprise! you got so much more content now! SDKFJHSDF blame (or praise) my adhd for not fuckin comprehending the entire question first

────── ･ ｡ﾟ: .☽ . : ｡ﾟ･ ──────

Mr. Compress General / Romantic / NSFW headcanons

This post contains NSFW content, so minors DNI! [not to mention mans is like, 32 yrs old so y'all shouldn't be shipping urself w/ him anyway]

────── ･ ｡ﾟ: .☽ . : ｡ﾟ･ ──────

General

This man is eccentric - that's a fact. So of course he’s likely to talk with big flowery words and large hand gestures to accentuate his topic of conversation - regardless of how much or little needed to be said

Like I said, he talks with his hands, A LOT, and he also likes to walk around or pace while he talks as well

Probably has ADHD but that’s likely just me projecting lmao

Obviously a theatre guy, adores musicals and old fashioned plays

If he were to have a Spotify it would be full of musical theater show tunes, both modern and retro

Everyone says he’s inept at technology, but I say that's just modern tech. He’s got an old laptop, a CD player, an old MP3 player (filled with musical show tunes and other indie stuff), and of course: a Nokia

He has a modern smartphone courtesy of the League, but he only uses it for phone calls and texts since he has no idea how nor want to use anything else on it unless necessary

Somehow both a fashion icon and disaster. Theatre kids, y’know?

Really only calls himself an old man due to the fact he talks like he just got transported from the Victorian era; because seriously, being in your 30s is not at all old

Despite always having his face covered, he takes great care in his complexion and appearance. Lots of skincare products, lotions, soaps, creams, etc.

Before the whole ordeal with the League, he would always join a community theater as a hobby! He adored doing silly little play sketches for charity or volunteering as a drama coach. He even directed some small local plays himself! (Under a pseudonym, of course)

Romantic

I headcanon him as gay, or at the very least bi/pan with a strong lean towards men

Love language is words of affirmation and gift giving! I mean, he’s such a talker that his love for speech is bound to extend to his partner. And he’s a master thief, so of course he’s going to steal only the best for his lover. They just have to say the word, and it’s in front of them the next day

Such a romantic, in the most classy yet extravagant way. Romantic candle lit dinner? Of course! But it’s at the top of the tallest building in the city with a gorgeous view of the moonlit ocean and bustling city all at once

Will absolutely do the cheesy magician move of pulling flowers out of his sleeve or hat and bows as he presents them to his partner, and no matter how many times he does this - which is at LEAST twice a week - his partner will always find it so charming

His partner will hopefully be willing to deal with his criminal record that only continues to grow, because he doesn’t plan on stopping

And if his partner wishes or does work alongside him as a thief/League villain? Incredible! Romantic! It’s like a Bonnie and Clyde type duo!

Just as long as his partner understands that he can and WILL compress them into a marble if things get too dangerous

Doesn’t often get jealous, or at least doesn’t make it obvious. When it IS obvious, it’s honestly adorable because he gets so pouty and clingy. Might even purposefully put on his frowning mask just to make a point, especially if his partner still hasn’t noticed how awfully and truly upset and ignored he is :’(

────── ･ ｡ﾟ: .☽ . : ｡ﾟ･ ──────

Below here are the NSFW headcanons!

NSFW

Tops and bottoms equally, but leans towards service dom most times. However, it’s VERY easy to get him into a submissive, begging mess

With a few well placed touches and hushed words whispered in his ear, his partner can have them as putty in their hands

While he’s a romantic and would prefer being slow and intimate, he’s also secretly into quickies and fast, yet passionate sex

His kinks are a little all over the place and in some cases a bit strange. While he’s into more mainstream stuff like sensory play and roleplay, he’s also into things like frotting, clothed sex, semi-public sex, consensual exhibitionism, orgies, hands-free orgasms, using quirks during sex, all that sorta stuff

More than willing to wear the mask during sex - loves the sense of mystery it can bring

Before he was with his partner, he was super into alley quickies with complete strangers

Buzzed/drunk sex is something he likes, just with how often he drinks wine or champagne

[pumpkinmetaphor]

Okay so we’ve seen how Kaoru would react to Kyoya (sort of kind of) dating, how would Kyoya react to Kaoru dating?

Okay okay so, Kaoru kind of feeds back into that last ask I got about "if you emote you lose." Kaoru ALSO thinks he's "not a jealous person" because he can generally keep a lid on it. Despite clearly being prone to bouts of jealousy.

Of course when Kyoya is dating women, this is more maudlin. It's not like Kyoya likes them anyway, but they can give Kyoya something he never can. So he's a little bit jealous, but for the most part can keep a lid on it.

(This is fun in Okay, Cupid! for me to write because Kaoru is blatantly passive aggressive about it at times but Kyoya isn't paying attention. I leave it up to the audience to decide whether you guys think he literally has Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend on the radio when Kyoya comes home in Ch. 4 bc I couldn't decide if that or The Best Damn Thing was funnier.)

Of course if it was Kyoya with a man, all hell would break loose. Some guy flirting with him? Kaoru is there, up in his business in a second. Kyoya thinks jealousy is irrational and amusing and probably wouldn't bring it up. Kyoya hypothetically dates some other guy? Kaoru isn't leaving the house. Absolutely ego crushing. There's no way he's making polite conversation with this guy at a group hang so he probably would have the self awareness to not go, or to bolt out of the place after the first barb thrown. Probably. The problem with thinking he's more mature than Hikaru though is that it would probably blind him to where that line is.

Okay back to your actual question sorry

Kyoya thinks jealousy is irrational, caused by emotions clouding judgement and logic. He is obviously above ever feeling such things because he would simply be able to talk himself out of them.

Yeah sure lmao.

Kyoya also dealt with Tamaki for years. He's clearly got a cool head if he was nursing that crush on a guy who would flirt with an upside down broomstick without any sort of aggro. I think Kaoru flirting with other people would only raise eyebrows. He'd immediately just assume it was part of some scheme or that Kaoru was doing it for attention, and move on.

After of course, determining exactly who this other person is, where they're from, their net worth, family background, criminal record if any, and overall whether they're worthy enough to be speaking to Kaoru at all, actually.

If some guy's flirting with Kaoru? Different story, Kyoya would probably suss out whether Kaoru is happy or about to commit verbal evisceration on them for annoying him and then intervene to woosh Kaoru away if it's the latter. Totally just rational crisis aversion, obviously.

Kyoya's solution to Kaoru dating is most likely just pretending it's not happening and not asking about it, unless Kaoru volunteers information. If Kaoru volunteers information, Kyoya politely listens and is definitely not in a bad mood for the rest of the day, what are you talking about, that would be illogical. If Kaoru doesn't, then it's not happening or Kaoru is withholding information which is worse and Kyoya would be minority offended at not being included in the gossip he didn't want anyway.

Kaoru seriously dating someone else? Well there's nothing Kyoya can do about that. If Kaoru's happy, then he should be happy and he will be happy about it in 5-7 business months. If Kaoru isn't happy? Kyoya doesn't exactly have any moral high ground to discuss that.

He definitely wouldn't be jealous though. That would be so silly and irrational. Kyoya could never. :)

[yikes-ajax]

Yikes! No blog intro? No longer!

What's UP my DUDES, it's time to sit the FUCK up (seriously, straighten your back you animal) and LISTEN UP. I am the MOST disinteresting person you will EVER meet and yet here we are. My name is AJ or sometimes Roary (if you know you know, hey besties) and have the stupidest cat ever and that's IT. But to fill the void in my metaphorical and dead heart, and really just to appease my need to feel special, here's the basics.

I am:

- An adult (aka throwing more temper tantrums than I did as a kid)

- Bisexual

- Genderfluid, literally any pronouns are fine (just nothing dehumanizing, if you care)

- American (insert sigh here)

- Disabled (mobility and neurological)

Blog Navigation

Main: 🌟 You're here!

Sims blog: @yikes-a-simmer

Vent blog: @yikes-ajax-thats-sad

Trauma blog: @puppydog-eyes-kittycat-claws

Dogboy blog: @weewoof

Under the cut is just some extra info if you really feel like boring yourselves ↓

The

Nitty Gritty

For those who care about the details for some reason??

- I alternate between canes, crutches, and a wheelchair (my dad once called my car a medical store) so when I make stupid jokes about being crippled or shit it's because I'm disabled and don't know how to cope

- You don't need my health records (I am a simp for my neurologist and don't need your opinions from five minutes of searching google), but what I occasionally talk about and am comfortable sharing is that I have functional neurological disorder (fnd), non-epileptic seizures (thanks fnd), poor mobility (thanks again fnd), and so... So many mental issues, as you can probably guess, such as PTSD, the spicy kind of depression that needs 3 different meds to stabilize, a sensory processing disorder I was diagnosed with so long ago I don't remember the name of (is that mental or physical??), and other bullshit

- I've got severe social anxiety but I'm trying my best to get out of my shell, so don't hesitate to interact, just forgive my rambling and nervousness

- Surprise, surprise, I have dissociative identity disorder (did), and yes, I'm traumagenic if you really must use such stupid terms. I don't give a fuck about dumb syscourse, I think endos are offensive af but what do I know, I can't even parallel park and know how to stay in my own lane. I've been in the DID community, you can probably guess who I was if you do enough digging but I have no interest in revisiting that side of the Internet, it is the most toxic community I have ever seen

- I sometimes go dark, but I'm fine, I'm likely just busy or obsessed with a video game and my queue has ran out

Current interests (stuff I post in-between cat pics when I feel inclined): Critical role / dnd, star wars, crochet

Video games: Ark: survival evolved, star wars criminals, Minecraft teehee, Red dead redemption (1 and 2, yeehaw), skyrim

The

Cast

Rosie (the reject) and PJ (the pacifist turned genocidal but still total baby)

Rue (the mean ass) and Allie (the bottom of the food chain that is in perpetual fear, but hey, she has an extra toe so that's cool)

Meadow (weapon of mass destruction)

And me, AJ (the bitchass blog runner you'll hopefully never see the face of)

Do not interact:

My neighbors cat 😤😡🖕😾

Encouraged to interact:

Aliens, goblins, werewolves (hey mamas 😎), marine biologists, people who ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind, little guys, little clown guys (THIS IS A SAFE SPACE FOR CLOWNS, I REPEAT, SILLY LITTLE GUYS ARE WELCOME!!), those discontent with their mortal flesh and wish to break to endless spiral of human destruction, little meow meows, anarchists, Dr. Gregory House (please fix me sir), that one hot chick from that one show I watched that one time, DILFS PLEASE, and stupid little fdufcking.. stupid little bitches

All in all,

I'm just here to have a good time and bring some laughter to anyone who wants it. My favorite thing to do is laugh and crack jokes, and if I can make someone else laugh with me, then my purpose here on earth is done. Though, I have a very dry and sarcastic humor that I know can sometimes be hard to read, so please just understand that I'm usually just playing around! I promise I'm not as mean as I seem!

You don't need to worry about anything upsetting here, I try not to post or reblog anything that could dampen someone's day, because not only are y'all here to escape, I am too. This blog will always be safe, I have no interest in discourse, don't care about a DNI, and rarely bother checking who follows me unless you're talking to me. Anonymous asks are on for fellow socially anxious lurkers that wanna talk, but be warned— don't diss my cat 👹

Thanks y'all, love you guys. Stay safe and sleep well ❤️

[sk1ttery]

Tell about the Brooklyn Bunch plz

Wallflower AU Brooklyn Bunch!!

The sillies :))

To explain these silly guys I’m gonna compare them to the Hattan Bunch.

The Manhattan Bunch are a found family who started off as friends. They grew up around each other, on the same streets, playing together. And they grew from friends into a family.

The Brooklyn Bunch began as a gang who’s only need was trying to survive the area they lived in because of how rough it was. But, over time, their bond got stronger and they became a found family too.

Whether it’s through blood or not, they’re both little families.

The Manhttan Bunch’s bond is more seeking comfort in each other, trying to help each other. It’s driven more by their ‘love’ for each other. They always check in with each other. They notice the little things, like habits they have.

Whereas the Brooklyn Bunch’s bond seems to be driven a lot more by instincts and a need to protect each other and survive because so many of them grew up on the streets. They needed to survive, and for them, coming together as a ‘Gang’ was the only way to do that.

The Manhattan Bunch have little groups within the group. (The Bros, Kloppmans Boys, The Wingmen and such)

But Brooklyn Bunch they’re all ONE group. No sub-groups.

In the Manhattan Bunch the smaller, inner groups seem to understand each other better. Like The Wingmen know each other better than the rest of the group do.

But with the Brooklyn Bunch they all understand each other on a much deeper almost intimate level. To outside viewers, the Brooklyn Bunch seem to ‘disregard’ things such as Price flinching at any loud noises, Hot-Shot’s flashbacks. None of them will ‘comment’ on it? If they’re hanging out and Price flinches at a noise, none of the Brooklyn Bunch will comment. Whereas the Manhattan Bunch would more inclined to ask if Price is okay and start checking up on him.

This is not down to the Brooklyn Bunch not caring, It’s down to the amount of trust they have in each other. They have such a close DEEP bond and strong trust of each other that they know if it was SEVERE they’d ask for help.

This also isn’t saying that the Manhattan Bunch don’t trust each other, it’s just that they WAY they trust is different if that makes sense.

Both groups function every different but are family nonetheless.

The Brooklyn Bunch began with Graves and Spot. Two kids who adopted each other as brothers. They stuck together for protection and eventually, over time, the other members of the groups slowly started to join them. Graves’ friends, the younger boys, Hot-Shot and the girls.

Some people within the group go way back. Such as Stray and Hot-Shot (They mean sm to me), Graves and Spot, Stray and Lucky, Graves and Lucky.

There’s a group of them who all live in the same apartment building together.

Hot-Shot and Myron live together with Ten-Pin.

Rodger and Price live together with Barney, Oatmeal and Coffee Bean. Rodger and Price are in fact older in this AU (in their twenties) and the other three are 16-17, their unofficial kids.

Lucky and Stray have an apartment together.

Graves and Spot.

Hawk.

Splint.

Almost all of them have motorbikes and they’re as a ‘Biker Gang.’ They go on rides together around the city. They’ll go to clubs and bars and sit outside with their bikes and stare down any creeps or people trying to start fights.

The only ones in the group with CLEAN criminal records, or who have never been caught doing anything illegal are Price and Spot. This is simply because I think it’s really funny that the leader of the group has a clean record.

[mojo-dojo-cracka-house]

Ayo buddy, watch it I'm waukin 'ere (Pinned Post)

Sup bitchesssss, we're a bunch of crazy people who are insane but also slightly funny but just slightly.

3 Mods:

@thebluekid-underyourbed

@chaosreinbrothered

@unknowncorvidae

This is a silly little family AU because we're a silly little hypothetical family!! We're a little stupid so be warned you might lose braincells.

Ursa: the world-weary mother. She’s given up trying to reign in the family and now just sits back and watches them commit arson and kill the world. A raging alcoholic but only for comedic purposes. She has a high tolerance to alcohol and never gets drunk. Could chug vodka without blinking. Loves both her queer and cishet kids and would snap the neck of anyone who dares even look at them in a rudely. Penguin.

Ad: the neighborhood kid. He’s not even part of the family biologically and legally speaking. One day they waddled up to Ursa and the next day Ursa announced everyone now had an emotionally adopted sibling. They hang out around the house and create chaos with the family. Tortures people for the heck of it (a telltale sign of potential serial killers, according to rumors), threatens to fuck people with Cranberry, commits arson with the Roomba (and is sometimes caught actively encouraging it to run over the dog poop and track it around the house), etc. A pleasure to have in class.

Splat: elder sibling who is shorter than everyone. Very smart and super cool. She’s probably the second-most sensible person in the family. Has her own fair share of a criminal record. Mostly physical assault and some light arson here and there. Barely has her life together but it makes her a funnier person so there’s that. Fucking legend. Controlled chaos.

Osmosis: younger sibling who towers over everyone. Has never cussed, will never cuss, does not cuss. He does, however, willingly be the Guy In The Chair. Is the distraction in most crimes. Is the sneaky boi too. Likes setting off the plan. He’ll throw the bomb that will distract the guards, light the dynamite to draw away the police, etc. Enjoys coding. Has been known to tell the Roomba to draw dicks. Wholesome but will snap all 206 of your bones before finally killing you without hesitation or remorse. Weirdly obsessed with shoulders and Pokemon. Can code though, so there's that

Cranberry: middle child and middle height. Threatens to fuck literally everyone. Helps Ad catch the animals he tortures and watches. Points at every single fictional character and draws attention to their asses. Thinks the monkeys from Wizard of Oz were sexy. Cleans faer glasses with soap and water. Excels at school because of course fae does. Will break your shins. Enjoys finding loopholes to even the simplest instructions. A pleasure to have in class.

Ai: tired wine aunt. Aggressively ADHD. Best sister and aunt ever. Always sneaks candy in pockets, encourages crimes, doesn’t care about bedtimes, tells Ursa the kids behaved very well while she was out of the house thank you very much, etc (obviously Ursa knows but the house isn’t on fire so she considers that a win). Is drunk all the time, but somehow always manages to be a light drunk. Not drunk enough to crash the car, not drunk enough to be loopy, nothing. She is just always seen with a wine glass filled to the brim (never spilled anything in her life) and she always just seems sliiiiiightly tipsy. Never more, never less. Ursa says her sister seemed like that ever since they were kids.

Jiyuu: hobo. Always seen carrying around a sieve for some reason. Not even carrying around - it’s just in his pockets all the time. Jun Leaf calls it a holebowl and nobody has called it anything else. Hobo with a holebowl. Cranberry took one look at Jiyuu on his first visit to the family and promptly said, “You look like a hobo.” Jiyuu has never lived that down. Jiyuu enjoys teaching crimes and controversial stuff. He makes sure all the kids are aware that Australia is a lie. He talks about WWII and stuff and pins it on random people. He says murder is good and the kids repeat his arguments to everyone they meet. The hotdog guy at the baseball stadium did 9/11. Always manages to look 36 and 93 and 12 at the same time.

The Roomba (AKA Jun Leaf): mix of BB8 and Roomba. There’s no question in anyone’s mind that it is alive. It showed up one day and has just been in the house ever since. One day Ursa complained about the constant mess around the house, and the next day there was the Roomba. A few days later, Splat commented that the Roomba kept showing up in places that there was no way it could reach and it was almost like it was alive. They name it Jun Leaf as a joke. The next morn, the Roomba has Googly eyes taped on it. Nobody knows who taped the Googly eyes. Every 18th of November, the Roomba is found with a blue birthday hat.

Jun ?: an alternate? One day there was a kid on the couch sitting crisscrossed with the Roomba on his lap. Said he broken out of the mirror. He showed them the mirror that sat in the supply closet where the Roomba was supposed to always return to after doing it’s periodic cleaning of the house. It was broken. Nobody believed vim until ve said vis name was Jun ? and then held up the Roomba and asked for its name. Hangs around the house. Always has pieces of mirror in vis hair and clothes. Is the human embodiment of the Roomba. Often found with the Roomba in vis hands.

NotAd: Sometimes Ad shows up to the house hollering for blood. Other times NotAd shows up hollering for food. Ursa worried something happened to her child the first time NotAd made an appearance. NotAd is Ad just reversed. The family speculates NotHim to also be from the mirror (mostly because NotHim looks exactly like Ad but is left-handed). Somehow always has a mirror shard on NotHim (similar as to how Ad somehow always has a pocket knife). Palms of NotHis hands have scars that look like NotHe pushes their way through glass.

Oscar: Osmosis but as a virtual entity. Odiend2 first appeared on Osmosis' computer, much to Osmosis' surprise (he just walked in and there Odiend2 was, a perfect reflection of him waving at himself). Odiend2 has also showed up on the TV screen, spoke to the family through the TV speakers, and occasionally beeps the microwave in some form of code. The Roomba beeps back (somehow; the Roomba has no voice box). Odiend2 helps Osmosis out with coding but also enjoys randomly deleting files. An oddball (like Osmosis, lol) but he gets an excuse because he’s a virtual thing and cannot wreak actual havoc.

[moviemunchies]

I had decided to watch Mockingjay, Part 1, but Roku informed me that it’s been removed from all of the streaming services I have access to. Oh, well.

I promise we’ll do something different next time.

It goes like this: after the events of the last movie, Brian is now street racing in Miami, when he’s picked up by the Feds. They’re not happy with him for letting Dom go at the end of the last movie, but they don’t want to arrest him, they want him to go undercover again. See, cartel boss Carter Verone is up to no good, but he’s hiring drivers, so US Customs wants Brian to infiltrate the gang with a partner. The partner supplied is crap though, so he picks his own–his estranged friend Roman Pearce. If they complete this job, both of them will have their criminal records purged. Joining them is Customs Agent Monica Fuentes, undercover as Verone’s girlfriend.

Brian and Roman will have to get over their antagonism and use both their skills and their wits if they’re to secure their freedom, and get out of Verone’s clutches alive.

My understanding is that this movie is the least well-regarded in the series. And re-watching it now? Yeah, I get it. Despite Roman being a memorable addition to the cast and a fun character, along with a good balance to Brian, the Plot isn’t very interesting, Brian barely goes anywhere as a character, and Verone is a boring and shallow villain.

Brian gets a new love interest in Monica, but only kind of? She’s just… there. I don’t want to say she’s just eye candy, as she’s a federal agent, but she doesn’t really do that much in the Plot that  couldn’t have been done any other way. She and Brian are clearly interested in each other, but it doesn’t go anywhere, and they don’t really know each other. TV Tropes claims that there was originally a sex scene that was cut because Eva Mendes didn’t want to do it, and given how little these two actually know each other, I agree, but it seems silly, all in all. She keeps flirting with Brian even when it would blow up in her face, given her cover as Verone’s girlfriend??

Her role is dumb, is what I’m getting at.

[Also, the suggestion that Brian always instantly falls in love with whatever beautiful woman is in front of him cheapens his relationship with Mia in the first film, I think?]

Not helped is that Verone is pretty boring? He’s a generic crime lord. He doesn’t even really get cool lines or anything. He has a couple of scenes where he’s especially menacing, but he’s not a memorable villain, which leads to a pretty forgettable Plot. Look, the original film is far from genius, but it’s at least got some really interesting bits. Our lead has to choose whether to admit that his new friends are actually crooks, and from there whether to turn them in to the law enforcement he works for or to help them out. This is just, “Oh hey! This guy is an evil douchebag.”

If you like racing and car stunts though, this movie has got you covered. I think some of these scenes are downright spectacular and fun to watch. I will admit that I am not a car guy, so maybe it’s crap, but it looks nice to the layman. I suspect it is impressive all-around though, because this is a movie aimed at car enthusiasts. It’s also got a disclaimer during the credits that the stunts you see are done by trained professionals, and that you absolutely should not be doing this at home.

And Roman Pearce. He’s a highlight in this film. Brian is not that interesting of a guy, especially in this movie, and Rome is much more entertaining. He’s funny, he’s interesting, he’s got… well, not complexities, I guess, because this is not that deep of a movie. But he’s probably the best part of this movie, bringing most of the memorable moments and being a likable, capable character. He’s not always the smartest guy, but he’s fun to watch on screen, so if there’s something to watch this movie for other than the stunts, it’s him.

I did not find this movie that impressive. The first movie isn't brilliant, but this feels like a typical early 2000’s dumb action film. Yeah, you could do worse, and if you want to be a completionist for the series, you probably want to see it. But otherwise, you could do a lot better for movies. 

[masked-and-doomed]

Soo his diary abilities and his own detective abilities.

His future diary is tailored specifically for the diary keepers, and, if Kira is a diary keeper alongside with having the death note, I think we'd have a very big problem on our hands. So for this, I'll assume Kira is not part of the Survival Game, and so, will not be a part of Aru's big source of info.

Alright, well, at least he has his own detective skills, no?

After all, it's not actually 'his own'. It's Deus making him do shit.

He is actually just favoured by god. Created by him. To watch over the Diary Keepers.

And do you think God is gonna let some random guy potentially ruin his Survival Game because he has a silly little book that is equally as ridiculous as everyone's silly little diaries? NO!

He's gonna give Aru the hints and whatever he needs to GET him. Because HE HAS GOD ON HIS SIDE (in a way.)

He's practically confirmed to get him. WHAT IS KIRA GONNA DO AGAINST GOD'S WILL?

Deus will just bullshit it in a way where Aru doesn't get caught. He's here to make sure everything is going 'smoothly' against diary keepers and boy, if God thinks Kira is gonna meddle with it, Kira is going down.

Anyway what I'm saying is the people voting are basing it all on memory and they don't remember he HAS GOD ON HIS SIDE, just that in the Survival Game, it wasn't to Aru's own favour. But this? Oh Kira's got no chance.

Well, with that, I hope they let him keep doing whatever he wants after this. Get rid of all the skipping school on his record. I mean, catching a criminal this big? Let the kid live his short life of doing detective work.

[rosiehunterwolf]

This request is the result of a very awake mind at 2 am. How about a part crack, part tooth-rotting fluff fic about and interview with characters of your choice.

I tried my best with this... it's difficult to do crack in such a short piece (hence this one ended up being a little longer) and although I think writing crack is really fun, I have no experience in the field XD. So... hope this is what you were looking for XD.

The Case of the Forgotten Birthday Gift

Summary: When the ninja are invited to the Ivory City of Shintaro for Princess Vania’s birthday, they find themselves in the most devastating predicament of all- they forgot to bring a birthday gift for Vania. In a panic, Cole offers her a chance to interview them as compensation. Not everyone is thrilled about the idea.

“We thank you for attending Princess Vania’s birthday,” King Vangelis said, hovering before the ninja with two winged guardsmen at his sides. “We ask that you leave any gifts on this table.” He gestured towards a table that was practically groaning under the weight of all the presents atop it.

“Um.” Cole blanched. “Gift?”

“Cole!” Jay whispered harshly in his ear. “Don’t tell me. That you didn’t bring a present for the princess. On her birthday.”

“I didn’t bring one? Last time I checked, we were all invited! Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Well, I didn’t, so you better come up with something now or they’ll never invite us back here again!”

“Uh…” Cole’s brain felt like it was whirring a mile a minute, and he reluctantly turned back to the king. “Thank you, your majesty, but our gift to the princess is not something material.”

King Vangelis raised an eyebrow. “No?”

“No, it’s a… it’s um… we’re giving you a free interview.”

“What?!” the other ninja all yelped, at the same time that Vania beamed, clapping her hands together.

“I get to interview the ninja? The ninja? Truly, this is the best birthday present ever!”

“Cole,” Kai groaned, putting his head in his hands, “what have you done?”

---

“When I told you to come up with something to give the princess, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind,” Jay grumbled from where he was sitting stiffly in a chair next to Cole. “Did you really have to offer the girl who’s obviously a bit bonkers about us an interview?”

“I didn’t see you coming up with anything better,” Cole snapped. “Besides, she may be a bit obsessed, but she seems nice enough. Just go along with it. She’s like any other fan.”

“Any other fan, you say? I wouldn’t be so sure!”

Cole sighed, glancing back at where Lloyd was standing atop his chair, glaring down at them. “Lloyd, sit down.”

“She’s no normal fan, I’m telling you! I don’t trust her! She was too excited about this interview! She’s out to get us, she just wants to trick us into giving away information so she can exploit our weaknesses!”

Kai glanced back and forth between Lloyd and Cole. “Seriously, does no one else see what an obvious cry for therapy this is?”

“Lloyd!” Cole hissed. “For the last time! Sit. Down.”

“Don’t worry, Lloyd,” Zane said as the teen plopped down grumpily in his seat. “The odds of our team member’s princess girlfriend turning out to be the leader of a criminal gang for the second time in our lives are practically nonexistent! Under seventy percent, at least.”

“She’s not my girlfriend!” Cole snapped.

Zane blinked. “Well, then whose is she?”

“Not mine,” Jay told them, grabbing Nya’s hand. “I’m already engaged!”

Kai laughed. “No thanks, she’s not my type. Plus, I already have a girlfriend who stabbed me in the back, although luckily for me, mine came around, eventually.”

“For the last time, Vania is not going to betray us!”

“It’s not our fault we have trust issues,” Lloyd sniffed. “You’d think someone would book us therapy, but apparently that’s not a priority.”

“Well, if she herself isn’t evil, maybe she’s related to someone evil!” Kai said. “Skylor’s evil, psychotic father influenced her to turn on me. Do you think Vania has an evil, psychotic father?”

“Definitely,” Lloyd agreed, at the same time Nya said “No way.”

Nya shook her head. “Do you know how ridiculous you guys sound? How many evil, psychotic fathers can there be out there?”

“Um. There’s Chen, Milton Dyer, Skales, my father- need I go on?”

“Don’t forget Nadakhan’s evil djinn father!” Jay chimed. Lloyd blinked at him. “Who?”

“See? That’s barely any!” Nya exclaimed. “Besides, like half of those people are good now, so they don’t count.”

“But they were, which means there’s a high chance of King Vangelis being evil and psychotic-”

“Who’s evil and psychotic?” A cheery voice interrupted them as Princess Vania pushed open the doors.

“Oh, uh… just an old villain we faced,” Cole covered quickly.

“Oh, you must tell me all about them!” Vania smiled, pushing the doors closed behind her and clicking the lock.

Kai blinked. “Did you just lock us in?”

“Of course! I can’t have anyone else breaking in here and trying to eavesdrop on my very special interview!”

“Do people break into your room often?” Nya laughed.

“Not at all! Only a few times a week.”

“Um… you do realize that we’re crime-fighting ninja, right?” Jay told her. “We have lots of enemies. Maybe you should have some people guarding us while we’re here.”

“Oh, don’t worry! If anyone attacks you, Chompy will scare them off!” The ninja looked to where she was pointing to see a tiny dragon snoozing on Vania’s bed.

“Oh, how reassuring,” Kai said dryly. “The overgrown gecko can keep us safe.”

Vania raised an eyebrow. “You’re lucky he’s asleep. Mr. Chompy does not play nice when he’s angry.”

“Oh yeah, I’m so scared,” Kai grinned, leaning back.

Vania narrowed her eyes at him. “He killed a dire bat once.”

“Yeah, well, we fought off an entire flock of them from our ship.”

“First of all, it’s called a colony of bats, not a flock. Second, I know that a squadron of our guards had to go save you.”

“We didn’t need saving! They interrupted us just as I was about to use my mighty fire powers to burn them to a crisp!” “Chompy would knock them out of the sky before you could do that.”

“Yeah, well, I could squish Chompy under my foot.”

“Chompy could gouge out your eyes.”

“Oookay, as fun as this is,” Cole interrupted, pushing them apart, “Let’s just get this interview over with. Vania, what questions did you want to ask us?”

“Hold on.” Vania jogged over to the wall and pulled over a small table, setting up a camera on top of it.

Jay stared at it. “What is that.”

“I need to record this, silly!”

“What’s the point of locking us in here and not letting anyone else listen in if you’re just going to broadcast this whole thing to everyone, anyway?” Nya asked.

“Because seeing it live isn’t half as fun as watching a recording!”

“Then why record it at all?”

“How else am I going to rub it in all my friends’ faces that I met the ninja?”

“This is a non-consensual violation of my privacy,” Jay grumbled.

“Oh please, your face is over half the city,” Cole sighed.

“Welcome back to Truthful Tidbits! I’m your host, Vania, and I’m here with an exclusive episode today- with me, I have the famous ninja!” “What,” Lloyd said slowly, “are you doing?”

“It’s for my TV show,” Vania whispered.

“You have a TV show?” Nya spluttered.

“Wait, no one told me this was going to be on TV!” Kai yelped. “The camera’s not getting my good side!”

“Wait, if this is a TV show, shouldn’t we have makeup artists or something?”

“Jay’s right!” Kai agreed. “I can’t go on television without a makeover!”

“My database shows no recollection of the show ‘Truthful Tidbits.’”

“It’s not on mainstream television,” Vania grumbled. “I just show them to my videography class.”

“Oh.” Jay relaxed in his chair. “That’s it?”

“What do you mean, that’s it? People are still going to see me without makeup! Just because it’s a small group doesn’t make this any less of a disaster!”

“I’m hoping to change that,” Vania beamed. “This is the big break I need! An interview with the ninja? Everyone will want to see it!”

“Andddd we’re back to privacy invasion again,” Jay groaned.

“Wanna bounce, Jay?” Lloyd asked.

“Do I ever-”

“Count me in, guys, I’m not doing this without a proper makeup job-”

“If you guys are all leaving, I’m not going to stay!” Nya insisted. “Zane?”

“It seems futile to stay if you all are leaving.” “You can’t leave!” Vania cried. “This is my present! Besides, you’re locked in here!”

Lloyd stared her dead in the eyes. “I will literally jump out the window to get out of this.”

“Are you kidding me? You’ll die!”

“Then tell Chumpy to catch me,” he told her, already climbing into the window.

“It’s Chompy!”

“Oh no, you don’t.” Kai reached out a hand, snatching the back of Lloyd’s gi before he could jump. “I don’t want to spend the rest of our stay in a hospital. What did you think was going to happen, you were going to sprout wings?”

“I’m part dragon,” Lloyd grumbled. “It’s not entirely out of the realm of possibility.”

“I have a much less life-threatening way. Stand back.” Kai’s fist lit up in flames.

“I swear, Kai, if you burn down anything, we are never coming back here,” Cole warned.

“A little arson never hurt anyone.” Hurtling a fireball at the door, it burst into flames. Quickly, it burned a human-sized hole in the door, and Kai, Jay, and Lloyd quickly darted through.

“What about my interview?” Vania protested. “You promised!”

“Technically, Cole was the one who promised you the interview,” Zane pointed out. “He never specified which of us you would be interviewing.”

“And since Cole’s staying, we’re technically not breaking that promise!” Nya added.

Cole blinked. “I’m what?”

“Staying. Have fun, you two!” Nya waved, and the two of them shot out the door, spraying ice and water as they passed to extinguish the flames.

“Sorry about that, princess,” Cole said, scratching the back of his neck.

Vania narrowed her eyes. “This better be the best interview ever.”

Cole grinned. “Mark my words, it will be. Fire away.”

“Speaking of fire, you’re paying for my door.”

“... Yeah, I figured.”

[alirhi]

This is oddly fun lol

Let's see how many of these I can churn out before I get distracted or need a break! (pff. like I need an excuse to watch the show again. Despite its flaws, I really, really love TFATWS, guys)

Without further ado, let's get down to it!

Episode 2: The Star-Spangled Man

I'm pretty sure I'm on record when it comes to my undying hate for John Walker, yes? So obviously, Bucky's grumpiness 100% stays 😂

I'm not really a fan of how much emphasis they put on the shield. I can see it as a catalyst for Bucky to go confront Sam, yes, but he wouldn't keep going "shield shield shield" like a broken record. Bucky has consistently been shown to be an empathetic man. I can't believe for a second that he'd be barking at Sam about having no right to give up the shield; he'd ask why. Sam's got shit to do, so he'd get impatient and not answer.

"Why'd you give up so easily? If you were overwhelmed, I could've helped you-" "You've been ignoring me. Like now, how you're ignoring me walking away from you." "Well, you weren't texting me about this." "You think I needed your permission?!" "No, but I was right there with Steve while he was learning what it meant to be Cap. I wouldn't mind helping you get used to-" "Then go teach him." A vague gesture toward the "Cap is back" posters. Bucky makes a face. "Steve passed the mantle to you. You fought with him. You earned it. That little shit didn't." "What do you want me to do about it?" "Just tell me why, Sam. I mean it. I just wanna understand." "Not now, Buck. I've got shit to do. You see me heading for a plane right now, right?" "This is important!" "So is this." Sam tells him about the Flag Smashers, we get our silly Big Three/Gandalf conversation.

I'm sorry, but that whole jumping from the plane scene is funny as hell, and I love all the nods they added in to jokes from the press tours that brought us this show in the first place (like ripping the sleeve off his jacket lol). I don't think I'd change a single thing from the Big Three convo to Bucky joining Sam in the warehouse.

"You're doing the staring thing again." "You're staring at your watch," Bucky points out. He knows it's linked to Redwing, he's just pointing out how dumb that line is in that situation. They're there for recon lol. They're meant to be looking around.

I don't...particularly care about the other common gripe here? Meaning, "Bucky's a civilian, so why is he allowed to randomly jump in on a military mission?" Bucky's also known in this universe as an Avenger, just like Sam, so I don't think anyone would really bat an eye at him joining. Also, I have my own agenda related to Bucky's apparent freedom to walk in and out of military/government things.

What does bug me (as funny as it is) is Bucky's animosity toward Redwing. Again... Bucky is a certified nerd. Always has been. If anything, he'd be fascinated by Redwing and Sam would constantly have to slap him away because he's leaning in too close trying to see the tiny watch monitor. "I don't trust Redwing" is just old man griping "I don't trust your newfangled technology" and that... that's not Bucky.

And that "we're not assassins" dig, and then laughing when Bucky gets upset? That's not Sam. Both of these men have shown a remarkable amount of empathy, and Sam has a background in helping traumatized vets. If he cared enough about Bucky to be texting him after Steve left, he'd care enough not to make callous jokes about his time as The Winter Soldier, whether he knows the full story or not.

The fight on top of moving trucks looks cool, but makes no logical sense. I keep trying to think of a way to explain this from a story perspective, rather than a lazy "it looks cool!" filmmaking one, and I'm coming up blank. Anyone with half a brain would have pulled over, had the fight, and then taken off. It was a fun sequence, though... Eh. I'll leave it.

When Karli breaks Redwing, Bucky doesn't say "I always wanted to do that." Again, it's funny - I love the jabs about that stupid robo bird XD - but not Bucky. In my version, he smirks and says "You're so gonna regret that."

"You were kinda getting your asses kicked before we got there." Is immediately followed by Bucky staring him down and asking, "And... how did that fight end for you?" Sam adds, "I don't see them in custody. Are-are they following in a van?" He looks around, sarcastically searching for another vehicle. Walker and Hoskins grimace at each other, grudgingly conceding that point.

credit to @dailycelebs

Seeing Walker, and having to listen to his stupid pro-government rhetoric, makes Bucky think about Steve. When we cut from the Flag Smashers back to Bucky and Sam and the closeup of Bucky's pensive face, we hear 1940s Steve angrily telling 1940s Bucky about how the higher ups in the army had already written off the POWs and were going to leave them to die. "I love our country, Buck," he laments, "but what do I do when I'm not too sure anymore about the people who run it?"

"What you always do," is young Bucky's answer, "stand for what's right, not who's in power."

Perfect lead-in to the conversation about handling things themselves.

When Sam meets Isaiah, and hears his story, not only is he horrified and heartsick for him, but he also begins to see Bucky in a new light. He's seeing Bucky's face, the way he tries to hide his emotions and not make this conversation about him, and he's putting things together. He's still upset at being out of the loop, but he's seeing more of the situation than just "omg black super soldier". When Bucky says "he'd already been through enough," Sam asks quietly, "like you?"

The racist cop comes back before Bucky can answer, to arrest him for missing his appointment with Raynor.

ngl guys, I was so moved by the difference in how that cop treated Sam (before knowing he's Important) vs how he treated Bucky (knowing that the government views him as a violent, if pardoned, criminal). He approaches Sam with his hand on his gun, eager to defend Bucky; "is this guy bothering you?" Just because they're having a heated conversation. Then, when he sees that there's a warrant for Bucky, he approaches timidly, apologizes, treats him gently and politely. By "moved," btw, I don't mean "it was so sweet." I mean "this is fucking sick, and very, very realistic." White cops see a white guy and treat him with respect regardless of his actual criminal record, while being openly hostile towards an innocent black man without even knowing who he is, just because he's black. Moments like this made me applaud Spellman.

"You, too, Sam - That wasn't a request" is Sam's first sign that there's something off about Raynor.

Look, again... The couples therapy banter is funny because Sebastian and Anthony are funny, but that scene, from a storytelling and a mental health standpoint, is atrocious. Without some underlying reason behind her actions, Raynor is just a pointlessly terrible therapist.

Rather than insulting Bucky from the outset, Sam is angry with Raynor for violating Bucky's privacy by not only introducing herself as his therapist, but forcing a "couples" session without her patient's consent. With his background pre-Avenging, he knows this shit shouldn't fly. He immediately points out how unprofessional she's being.

Raynor doesn't bother listening - the fuck does she care, really? She shrugs and casually admits it's "slightly unprofessional" but proceeds anyway.

"Whatever's eating at him?" Sam scoffs. "Did you really just say that to a WWII veteran and the world's longest-serving POW with complex PTSD? Did I hear that right? I've had, maybe, like five conversations with this man since we met, and even I know he's been through some shit and-" "Sam," Bucky tries to interrupt, looking uncomfortable. With his crushing guilt, he has an easier time dealing with insults than someone coming to his defense. "No," Sam snaps. "If the HIPAA Slayer over here wants to drag me into this, she's damn well gonna hear what I have to say!" He turns back to Raynor and demands, "Is this how you've been treating him this whole time? Downplaying what he's been through and making a grown-ass man sound like a sulking teenager?" Raynor keeps her cool, but barely. Visibly frustrated and annoyed, she ignores Sam's tirade and tries to force the conversation back onto the track she wants it on. Bucky's embarrassed and doesn't know how to react to any of this, so he still makes that little "he would talk less" jab. Sam, seeing that he's not going to get anywhere with him until they're away from this bitch, glowers and plays along. We get our silly/angry banter.

After their argument with Walker, Sam finally confronts Bucky about what really happened to him.

"He meant HYDRA; HYDRA used to be my people." "Were they?" Sam asks, stopping him and looking him in the eye, not letting him look away or deflect. "Steve was under the impression that they were your captors. I was under the impression that the Wakandans spent two years deprogramming you so no one could use you the way HYDRA did ever again." "I-" Startled, not expecting that, Bucky stutters a little and admits, "Yeah, I... That's true, I guess." "You guess?" "Does it matter? Sam rolls his eyes. "I dunno, does it matter that you were a slave for most of the 20th century?" "I doubt it matters much to my victims." "HYDRA's victims," Sam corrects firmly. "Just like you." Bucky fidgets; he doesn't know what to do or say. No one since Steve has even so much as insinuated that Bucky wasn't 100% culpable for what he did while under HYDRA control. "Look," Sam sighs, "I don't particularly like you. I don't hate you, but I'm not your biggest fan." "...Thanks?" "I just need you to know where I stand-" "Yeah, got it-" "-So you know I'm not biased like Steve when I say you had no choice. I don't know your story, but I know no one flips on a dime from docile and plagued with guilt to an unstoppable killing machine and back without some serious psychological damage behind that. I'm not saying you're an innocent little bunny, but I don't think you're a monster." "Thanks," Bucky croaks, more sincerely this time, and a bit choked up. He clears his throat and looks distinctly uncomfortable as he grumbles, "but to catch these guys, we may need to talk to a monster." Sam cringes. "I was afraid you'd say that."