#just like a network of people who are willing to give some help when they can and if they can

[thedevilinmybrain]

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[margeoww]

Toto is sick in bed and his wife is at some gala. He need texting her throughout the night and being annoying because he’s clingy when he’s sick but he won’t admit it.

A Night with a Sick Toto (and His Clingy Texts)

back to my masterlist

pairing: sick!toto wolff x wife!reader

summary: Toto Wolff is stuck at home battling what he dramatically calls “the deadliest cold ever,” while his wife is attending an important gala

warnings: pure fluff, clingy and dramatic Toto Wolff when sick.

Saturday night should have been easy. You had spent the afternoon meticulously preparing for a prestigious gala, one you couldn’t miss because it was critical for networking. Toto had been supportive, at first.

—Don’t worry —he’d said, bundled up in the softest blanket he owned. —You go enjoy yourself. I’ll be fine. Im perfectly capable of taking care of myself.

Yet the moment you walked out the door, his first text arrived.

Round 1: The Neediness Begins

Toto: Are you there yet?

You: Just arrived. Are you okay?

Toto: I’d be better if someone was here to make sure I don’t die.

You: Toto, it’s a cold, not the plague.

Toto: A very serious cold.

You: I left you everything you need: tea, soup, medicine, tissues, and Netflix. What else do you want?

Toto: I don’t know… maybe my wife?

You: Stop being dramatic. You told me to go.

Toto: Well, now I regret it. It’s so lonely here.

You: You’re literally under three blankets.

Toto: And still freezing.

You: You’re impossible.

Toto: You’re beautiful.

You sighed, already anticipating how the night was going to unfold.

Round 2: Mid-Gala Drama

You’d barely had a chance to enjoy a drink when your phone buzzed again.

Toto: What are you doing?

You: Networking. It’s a gala, Toto.

Toto: Networking with who?

You: People important for my job.

Toto: Anyone taller than me?

You: Toto…

Toto: I’m just asking.

You: What do you want?

Toto: I think I’m getting worse.

You: Did you take your medicine?

Toto: It tastes awful.

You: That’s why I left the orange juice.

Toto: It’s not the same if you’re not here to give it to me.

You: Toto, you’re a grown man.

Toto: A very sick grown man.

You: Do you want me to come home early?

Toto: No, no. Stay. I’ll suffer in silence.

You: You’re literally texting me right now.

You took a deep breath, willing yourself not to laugh. He was impossible, but he was your impossible.

Round 3: Dessert and Desperation

Just as dessert was served, Toto escalated his antics.

Toto: The soup you made tastes like cardboard.

You: It’s your favorite soup.

Toto: Not when I have to reheat it myself. It tastes… soulless.

You: It’s literally the same soup.

Toto: It needs your touch.

You: Are you sure you don’t want me to come home?

Toto: No, I don’t want to ruin your night.

You: You’re already ruining it.

Toto: But I miss you.

You: Toto…

Toto: I think I have a fever.

You: Did you check?

Toto: I don’t know where the thermometer is.

You: It’s in the medicine cabinet.

Toto: Why can’t you just come home and check for me?

By this point, you’d had enough. Politely excusing yourself from the event, you called a car and headed back home.

When you walked through the door, you found him exactly where you expected: sprawled out on the couch, buried under a fortress of blankets. He glanced up, his brown eyes a mixture of guilt and triumph.

— You’re back early. —he said innocently.

—You made sure of that. —you replied, dropping your bag and crossing your arms.

—I wasn’t that bad.

—You texted me 27 times.

Toto winced. —That’s not so many.

Rolling your eyes, you moved to sit beside him. He immediately latched onto you, resting his head on your shoulder like a needy puppy.

—See? This is what I needed. —he mumbled.

—Don’t think I’m letting you off the hook. —you teased, brushing a hand through his hair.

—I’ll make it up to you when I’m better. —he promised, his voice already fading as the comfort of having you close finally allowed him to relax.

And as much as you wanted to be annoyed, you couldn’t help but smile. Because at the end of the day, being needed. Annoying texts and all. It wasn’t so bad.

[tired-truffle]

Even the Gods Cry For Us

A Viktorxfem!reader fic

Chapter Word Count: 7.4k

Epilogue

Tag list: @im-just-a-simp-le-whore @potatointhedirt @dedicated2viktor

"When the rest of the world won't have you, I will. Let your worries and insecurities die against my lips. Remember, you are welcome here. You are always, always welcome here." - Maxwell Diawuoh

Masterlist

“Mommy,” the little girl said as her mother tucked her into bed. “Can you tell me the story of Miláček and Viktor tonight?”

Her mother smiled, seating herself on the side of the girl’s bed, her fingers trailing across her daughter’s cheek. “Of course, sweetheart.” 

The girl leaned into her mother’s touch, and she began. “A long, long time ago, the goddess Miláček was a mortal woman with extraordinary but uncontrollable magic. It is said that she came from another universe, and the strength of her love for Viktor drew her across space and time to be with him.” 

“How did she love him if she didn’t know him yet?” The little girl interrupted. 

Her mother chuckled. “Some things are just meant to be.” 

When her daughter remained silent, she continued. “Their love was a force that transcended words, pure and unbreakable. But as their love grew, Viktor got sick and his body began to weaken and wither away. Despite Miláček’s ability to see the future and her powerful magic, she was unable to stop his decline. In a fit of desperation, they turned to dark forces to ensure he would live. It cost them the life of a dear friend and left them unprepared for an attack that would start a war between the upper and lower cities - nearly claiming Miláček’s life. As she had been desperate to save him, so was he to save her. He brought her to a man renowned for his barbaric practices, and she lived at the cost of her sanity.”

“Fleeing together, they carved out a home in the far reaches of the lower city. With Viktor's newfound powers, they found some semblance of happiness as he used his abilities to heal those who sought his help. But the high price of harnessing dark forces to keep Viktor alive began to take its toll. He became corrupted by their power and if left unchecked, would have brought about the destruction of the world in his relentless pursuit of perfection.”

“Viktor had transformed into something unrecognizable; the Machine Herald. In this new form, he left Miláček behind, consumed by his obsession with ridding the world of choice and eradicating emotion to achieve a false sense of peace. But Miláček refused to give up on him. Though he was too far gone in this plane, she could absorb the arcane, and willingly gave up her life to save him in death.” 

“She became the goddess of the afterlife,” the little girl said smugly, pleased that she knew that key fact. 

“That she did.” Her mother stroked her hair. “With the arcane power that she absorbed, she was able to save Viktor’s soul and create an afterlife for all the other lost souls stuck in the nothingness that was death. One day, she’ll bring your soul to rest there as well.”

The girl frowned, disliking the idea of death at all, even if it was peaceful. “What about the bad people? When they die do they go there too?” 

Her mother nodded. “Even the bad people, everyone gets a chance to atone and rest, but only if they are willing.”

*~*~*

What had started as a small group had grown at an exponential rate. Souls started to gather at your sanctuary and you expanded, growing more land and homes for them to stay in. You felt their presence like a million pinpricks of light, each soul a unique constellation in your ever-expanding universe. Your consciousness stretched across the sanctuary, a vast network of awareness that allowed you to peer into every nook and cranny. You saw the newly arrived souls, wide-eyed and trembling, as they took their first steps into this strange new world. You heard the laughter of those who had found peace, their joy rippling through the air like a summer breeze.

But not all was serene. In the eastern quarter, a heated argument erupted between two souls over a trivial matter. You gently nudged their thoughts, soothing their anger and reminding them of the sanctuary's purpose. The conflict dissipated like morning mist under the sun.

At the borders, you sensed a dark, roiling presence - a soul so twisted by hatred and fear that it would poison everything around it. With a heavy heart, you reinforced the boundaries, denying it entry. Some souls were beyond your help, at least for now.

In the misty forests to the north, you felt a faint, confused energy. A lost soul, unable to find its way. You reached out, your essence forming a glowing path that only they could see, guiding them home.

Near the tranquil lake, an ancient soul flickered weakly, its sense of self barely a whisper. You enveloped it in warmth, offering a choice. The soul's relief was barefaced as it chose to let go, merging with the roots of an old willow tree. Its contentment hummed through the leaves, a soft lullaby for the younger souls nearby. There had been many souls who’d met a similar fate, to old to remember who they were, more than happy to become one with nature, to find peace.

It was as easy to you as breathing, all tasks able to be accomplished simultaneously without conscious thought. It allowed you to stay you, to focus on those you cared for most - your main consciousness remained with your loved ones. You didn't perceive them as pinpricks of light or constellations like the other souls, but as the flesh-and-blood people you remembered.

“Ah, Mila?” Vander’s gruff voice spoke up from behind you. You turned to him, his brows furrowed and his lips set in a thin line. “Do you have a minute?” 

It was strange to see him like this after weeks of swimming through his emotions and knowing him as a half-beast half-man creature. He was so…normal, in comparison. 

You nodded once and turned back to Sky, your game of tik-tac-toe half-finished in the dirt. “I’ll catch up with you later, okay?” 

Sky smiled at you, inclining her head. “You know where to find me.” 

You followed Vander to the shade of a towering silver tree, its leaves shimmering like liquid moonlight in the gentle breeze. The bark was smooth and cool to the touch, almost metallic in texture. As you leaned against it, you felt a faint hum of energy coursing through the trunk.

Vander cleared his throat, his weathered hands fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. The movement was so uncharacteristic of the usually stoic man that it had you feeling wary. But you waited, giving him time to gather his thoughts.

“I have no right to ask you this after everything you’ve done for us,” he started, his fists clenching at his sides, “but I can’t stop thinking about it.” 

“This is about Silco, right?” You’d been wondering when he’d come up, and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about it too.

Vander nodded, jaw tight. “As much as I hate what he did to Zaun and…my daughters,” a sore spot for him, you could feel it rolling off him in waves of anger, “he never gave up on our dream; independence for our home. And he raised Powder. While I disagree with his methods, he treated her like one of his own when I couldn’t be there for her.” 

He exhaled sharply through his nose. “You’ve got enough on your plate and I don’t want to add more, but he’s just…floating out there. Knowing him he’s miserable and blaming himself for everything. We all made mistakes in the war with Piltover, and I blame myself for turning him away. I’d like to right that wrong, if you’d allow it.” 

“You’d like me to bring his soul here?” 

“I would be responsible for him,” Vander added, “like I said, you’re busy enough.”

“Well, there are no weapons here, or Shimmer, and even if there were it’s not like he could kill anybody,” you said consideringly. “Sure, why not? I’ll go find his soul and set you two up with a private space. You’ll be able to come and go as you please but he won’t until you feel he’s ready to be out among the rest of us. And if you need any help I’m here, I’m not as busy as I look.”

Vander’s face softened, hope filling his eyes as the tension eased from his shoulders. “Really? Just like that?”

You grinned, wide and all-knowing, your hair floating around you. “I’ve actually been thinking about it for a while. Everyone deserves a chance at redemption, if they want it. And I saw what he meant to you, how much your fight weighs on you. I want you to be able to rest knowing you did everything you could to reach him.” 

"Thank you," Vander said, his voice thick. "You don't know what this means to me."

You reached out, placing a hand on Vander's shoulder. For a fleeting second, you caught a glimpse of the tangled web of relationships that defined Vander's life - threads of gold linking him to his adopted children, a frayed but unbroken cord stretching towards Silco.

"I'll begin the search immediately," you assured him, and you weren’t one to break a promise.

Despite initial doubts, Silco's progress surpassed all expectations. In what would have been a few months in Runeterra time, he ventured out amongst the other souls, closely monitored by Vander. Each small step taken settled a long-tormented piece of Vander's soul, bringing a sense of peace that he never would have rested otherwise.

*~*~*

“Who else is with Miláček and Viktor?” The girl asked, though she already knew the answer. Whether she was delaying her bedtime or honestly interested in hearing the story remained to be seen. 

Her mother would indulge her, for now. “The friend they lost in their attempts to save Viktor’s life was a guiding force for Miláček, and she joined them in the afterlife.”

*~*~*

You found Sky lounging by a pond, her toes dipping into the water that sparkled like liquid starlight. As you approached, she looked up with a smile that could outshine the sun.

"There you are! I was starting to think you'd forgotten about our rendezvous," Sky teased, patting the soft grass beside her.

You settled down, your legs tucked beneath you. "As if I could ever forget you," you replied, bumping her shoulder playfully.

The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a moment, watching as fish darted through the water, leaving trails of glowing bubbles behind them.

Sky leaned back on her elbows, her wild curls catching the light. "You know, I never thought the afterlife would be so...peaceful. I always imagined it'd be one big party, celebrate for eternity and all that."

You laughed. "Who says it can't be both?" With a wave of your hand, upbeat music began to play, seemingly emanating from nowhere and everywhere.

Sky's eyes widened in delight. "Show-off," she said, but her grin betrayed her amusement. She stood up, offering you her hand. "Care to dance, oh mighty goddess of the afterlife?"

You took her hand, allowing her to pull you to your feet. As you began to sway to the music, your feet barely touching the ground, you felt a surge of joy. It had been so long since you'd allowed yourself this simple pleasure, to just be in the moment with a friend.

"I missed this," you admitted. "I missed you."

Sky's grin softened. "I missed you too, Mila." She spun you around, your laughter mingling with the music. "But we're here now, together. And we've got all of eternity to catch up."

*~*~*

“There was also their friend who died ending the war. He and Viktor had been in conflict in life, but in death, they mended those bridges.” 

*~*~*

Once Jayce had been ready, weeks after they had settled, he’d joined Viktor for what must have been days as they hashed out their issues. While you didn’t listen in, you had an awareness of their conversation, there was only so much privacy you could give when their existence was tied to your consciousness. They spoke of the past, of the rift that had grown between them. Their words flowed like a stream, sometimes rushing and turbulent, other times slow and contemplative. All streams inevitably come to an end, and understanding bloomed between them like the wildflowers at their feet. You felt the shift in the air, the easing of tension, and you knew they would be alright.

Of course, Jayce jumped right back into being himself. As soon as he returned, arm slung around Viktor’s shoulders, he’d insisted you and Sky join them at a campfire. Though surprised that Viktor had agreed, you were remiss to miss an opportunity to spend time with your friends - like how it had been before everything went to shit.

You gathered around the crackling fire, its warm glow casting shifting shadows across your face. Jayce had insisted on building it himself, regaling you with tales of camping trips with his mother as he expertly stacked the logs. The flames licked at the evening sky, sending sparks spiralling upward to join the ever-present stars.

Viktor sat beside you, his legs stretched out before him. On your other side, Sky lounged on a bed of impossibly soft moss that seemed to have sprouted just for her comfort. Jayce stood nearby, proudly surveying his handiwork, before settling down to complete your circle.

"I must admit," Viktor said. "I never thought I'd find myself enjoying something as…primitive as a campfire. The Undercity had garbage bin fires, but I would hardly count that as an enjoyable experience."

Jayce chuckled, reaching for a long stick to poke at the embers. "There's something primal about fire, something that speaks to the soul."

"Or maybe," Sky interjected with a mischievous grin, "you just like playing with sticks and pretending to be useful."

You laughed as Jayce feigned offence, clutching his chest dramatically. The banter flowed easily between them, years of tension and misunderstanding washed away by the healing waters of the afterlife.

As the night deepened, you found yourself leaning against Viktor, his arm draped comfortably around your waist. Sky regaled you with increasingly outlandish stories of her adventures in the sanctuary, each tale more impossible than the last - you would be sure to check on the cavern filled with massive bats, no good could come of that. Jayce, not to be outdone, countered with his own exaggerated exploits.

This was what you had fought for, what you had sacrificed everything to create - a place where souls could find rest, where old wounds could heal, and where love could flourish unbound by the constraints of mortality.

As if sensing your thoughts, Viktor squeezed your hip gently. You turned to meet his gaze, seeing in his eyes the same contentment that filled your heart. No words were needed; in that look, you shared a lifetime of understanding.

*~*~*

“And then there was Miláček’s mother. Though her soul had been scattered to the far reaches of the universe when Viktor, in his conquest, burned her soul out of her body, Miláček never stopped looking.”

“Did she find her mommy?” The girl asked, clutching her sheets tight to her chest. To be without her mother was simply unthinkable. 

Her mother placed a tender kiss on her forehead. “She did.”

*~*~*

Not everything was perfect, getting used to your abilities had taken time and had caused many a headache as you learned how to shut out the thoughts and feelings of thousands of souls. Viktor was still healing, he had good days where he’d spend time with Jayce as they worked on numerous projects for your corner of the afterlife, or hours spent laying in the grass together, peacefully watching the clouds go by. There were also bad days where he’d shut himself inside, be unable to look you in the eyes, become withdrawn. But you were there for him, and you gave him space when that was what he needed instead. It would take him time to heal and you were more than willing to give that to him.

As soon as you’d gotten a grasp on your new powers, you’d set out in search of the pieces of Charlotte’s soul. You searched tirelessly, but Charlotte's soul fragments eluded you, too small and scattered to pinpoint. As you probed the furthest reaches of your domain, you stumbled upon a flickering presence - a tiny soul, lost and alone.

You drew closer, your ethereal form coalescing around the frightened soul. It was a child - a little girl with large, curious eyes and messy brown hair. Her essence quivered like a candle flame in the wind. You enveloped her gently, whispering soothing thoughts as you guided her back to the heart of your sanctuary.

As you materialized before her, the girl's eyes widened in wonder. "Who are you?" she asked, her hands held close to her chest.

You knelt down to her height, smiling softly to reassure her you were a friend. "I am the guardian of this place," you replied. "A sanctuary for lost souls. But you may call me Mila. It's wonderful to finally meet you, Elowen."

"You know my name," she whispered, twirling a lock of hair around her finger. "Are you…are you an angel?"

You chuckled, shaking your head. "Not quite. But I'm here to help. I’m…friends with your mother."

Elowen's gaze darted around, taking in the misty forests and glimmering lakes of your realm. "You know my mama? Where is she? I tried to find her but she was gone and I was all alone. Is she mad at me?"

"No,” you said with a gentle resolution, “she is not mad at you. If she could be here she would, but that’s what I need your help with. I'm searching for her, Elowen. Her soul has been scattered."

The girl's eyes lit up, hope blooming across her face like the first rays of dawn. "Really? I can help? How?"

"Your connection to your mother is strong. It's a beacon that can guide me to her. Will you let me use that bond?"

Elowen nodded eagerly, her small frame practically vibrating with excitement. "Yes! Please, I want to find Mama."

As you linked your consciousness to hers, you felt a surge of emotion - love, longing, and a fierce determination that belied her young age. Through her eyes, you caught glimpses of Charlotte - a warm smile, gentle hands braiding Elowen's hair, the sound of laughter and quiet humming echoing through a lamp-lit kitchen.

These memories were like breadcrumbs, leading you down a path you couldn't see before. You sensed the first fragile thread of Charlotte's soul, humming with a familiar energy.

"I can feel her," you murmured, your form pulsing with renewed purpose. "I'm going to find your mother, I can sense her now, thanks to you."

"I'm coming with you!" she declared, her small hands balling into fists at her sides.

You shook your head, your essence rippling with concern. "It's too dangerous, Elowen. The journey will take me to the farthest reaches of this realm and beyond. You need to stay here where it's safe."

Tears welled up in Elowen's eyes, her lower lip trembling. "But she's my mama! I want to help!"

Your heart ached at her distress, but you couldn't risk her safety. An idea sparked in your mind, and you gently took her hand. "Come with me. There's someone I'd like you to meet."

You guided Elowen through the sanctuary, the ground beneath your feet shifting and changing with each step. As you approached a sunlit clearing, you spotted who you were looking for.

Isha sat cross-legged in the grass, her hair adorned with small blue flowers. Before her, a makeshift arena of twigs and leaves housed two large beetles, their shells glinting in the soft light.

"Isha," you called to her. The girl looked up, breaking into a wide grin when she saw you. "This is Elowen. Would you mind if she joined you for a while?"

Elowen clung to your side, her earlier bravado fading in the face of meeting someone new. Isha, however, was undeterred. She waved enthusiastically, beckoning you closer.

You gently nudged the hesitant girl forward. "Isha, can you show Elowen your game while I'm gone?"

Isha nodded vigorously, her smile wide and welcoming. She jumped to her feet and extended her hand to Elowen.

Elowen glanced back at you uncertainly, but you gave her an encouraging nod. "Go on," you urged. "I'll be back before you know it."

Elowen hesitated for a moment longer before Isha darted forward, grasping her hand. She tugged Elowen towards the makeshift arena, already demonstrating the rules of her bug tournament.

As you watched Elowen's reluctance melt away, replaced by curiosity and the beginnings of a smile, you knew she was in good hands. With a final glance at the two girls, now huddled over the beetle arena, you had one more stop before you set off on your quest.

You found Viktor in a secluded glade, reclining against a gnarled oak tree with his eyes closed. You crept forward, barely disturbing the grass beneath you. With a mischievous grin, you prepared to materialize and surprise him.

But as you slipped into your corporeal form and reached for his shoulders, Viktor's eyes fluttered open. A small smile played at the corners of his mouth. "I knew you were there," he said, warm with affection.

You pouted, your planned surprise foiled. "How? I was being so sneaky."

Viktor chuckled, reaching up to cup your cheeks. "Your presence is unmistakable, miláčku. I could never miss it."

He pulled you closer, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You melted into him, giggling against his mouth. You could kiss him a thousand times and never tire of it. But as you pulled away, the reminder of your impending journey settled over you like a heavy woollen cloak.

"I found Elowen, and I used her connection to her mother to feel Charlotte's soul," you said, watching him carefully for his reaction. "I'm going to find her, to bring her back."

Viktor's body tensed, his eyes clouding with a familiar guilt. You took his hand, squeezing it gently. "Come with me. This is your chance to make things right."

He hesitated, his gaze dropping to the ground. "I…I don't know if I can face her after what I did."

You held his chin in your fingers, lifting his face to meet your eyes. "Viktor, you've carried this burden for so long. Charlotte wouldn't want that. She'd want you to help her come home."

He took a shaky breath, squeezing your hand. "You're right," he said softly. "I owe it to her to try. To face the consequences of my actions."

"We'll do this together," you promised. "Every step of the way."

As you prepared to set off, Viktor's determination seemed to grow. He straightened his back, his chin lifting with resolve. You didn’t necessarily need him to go with you, you would be fine on your own, but he needed it - needed to feel part of the solution so that his guilt would stop eating him alive.

You and Viktor set off on your journey, your bodies shifting to their ethereal forms. Viktor glowed with the light blue of your magic, and you grew until he became an orb in the palm of your hand. Your skin melded with the darkness of space, your hair becoming the stars themselves.

As you traversed the far corners of the celestial landscape, you encountered wonders beyond imagination. Nebulae bloomed like tropical flowers, their swirling gases glittering with hues of violet, emerald, and gold. You passed through the heart of a dying star, its final pulses of energy washing over you in waves of a bittersweet goodbye. Comets streaked by, leaving trails of fire that scorched your fingertips.

You followed the tenuous threads of Charlotte's soul, each fragment a faint beacon calling out across the vastness of space. You found the first nestled in the core of a nascent planet, reaching through rock and debris to pull the shard free.

“It's…beautiful,” Viktor spoke for the first time since leaving the sanctuary, full of awe and reverence.

You nodded, carefully transferring the fragment to him. "Hold onto it for me. We'll need to gather them all."

Viktor's glowing form pulsed in surprise as the shard rested at his centre. "Are you positive I should be the one to carry them? I am the reason she is like this in the first place."

You pulled his form up to your lips, placing a light kiss against the glowing light of his soul. "I trust you, Viktor. Completely."

He didn't speak, but his grip on the soul shard tightened ever so slightly, a silent promise to guard it with his life.

You ventured on, collecting more fragments from the most unlikely of places. One shard spun within a storm of glittering sand, another floated in a pool on a desert planet.

Finally, after what felt like both an eternity and no time at all, you collected the final shard from the corona of a distant sun. As Viktor carefully added it to the collection he carried, the shards began to resonate, humming with renewed energy.

Exhausted but triumphant, you returned to the sanctuary, shrinking down to a more manageable size. Viktor's orb expanded, taking on his familiar shape once more. The shards of Charlotte's soul hovered between you, pulsing with a soft, iridescent light in the shaded glade.

With reverent care, you gathered the fragments in your hands. They felt warm, almost alive, as if they recognized your touch. You closed your eyes, focusing your energy on knitting the pieces back together. The shards trembled, edges reaching out tentatively towards one another like shy dancers at a ball.

But something was wrong. The fragments refused to fully merge, repelling each other at the last moment like misaligned magnets. You furrowed your brow, redoubling your efforts. Sweat beaded on your forehead as you poured more power into the process, willing the soul to become whole again.

The shards spun faster. For a heart-stopping moment, you thought you'd succeeded. But then, with a sound like shattering glass, they flew apart. You stumbled back, chest heaving, as the fragments settled into a loose orbit around you.

"Damn it," you grumbled, frustrated beyond measure. To have gotten her back at long last only to fail at the final step…

You tried again, and again, each attempt more forceful than the last. But no matter how much energy you expended, the result was always the same - a brief flicker of hope, followed by bitter disappointment that coated the back of your tongue like bile.

Viktor watched silently, his face twisted with concern. As you slumped to the ground after your latest failed attempt, he knelt beside you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

"Perhaps," he said hesitantly, "there's something we're missing. A catalyst of sorts."

You looked up at him, curiosity piqued. "What do you mean?"

Viktor's brow furrowed in thought. "The soul fragments, they're like puzzle pieces without a picture to guide them. They've forgotten how they fit together." He paused, choosing his words carefully. "What if they need something to remind them of their true form? Something to…glue the broken pieces back together?"

You pondered his words, your mind racing through possibilities. "Elowen," you breathed, the realization striking you like a bolt of lightning. "Of course! Her daughter - the strongest connection to who Charlotte truly is."

You jumped to your feet. "Stay here with the soul fragments," you instructed Viktor. "I'll go get Elowen."

You found the girl where you'd left her, still playing with Isha by the beetle arena. Her laughter rang out across the clearing, a sound of pure, uncomplicated joy.

You called out to Elowen as you made your way over, your voice carrying on the light breeze. She looked up from the beetle arena and a smile spread across her face, brighter than the midday sun as she scrambled to her feet.

Isha's face fell, her lower lip jutting out in a pout. You knelt beside her. "Don't worry, Isha," you said as soft as dandelion fluff. "I promise I'll bring Elowen back soon. You two can finish your tournament then."

Isha perked up at your words, her smile returning. She nodded eagerly, already planning new games for when Elowen returned.

You turned to Elowen. "I found your mom," you said, watching as hope bloomed in her eyes. "But she needs your help to put her back together."

Confusion wrinkled Elowen's forehead, her head tilting to the side like a curious sparrow. "Put her back together?" she asked.

You nodded, offering her your hand. "It's a bit complicated, but I know you can do it. Are you ready to see her?"

Elowen's small hand slipped into yours, her grip firm and resolute. "I'm ready," she declared, chin lifted high.

You led her back through the sanctuary, the trees whispering secrets as you passed, their leaves rustling in a language only they understood. Your realm responded to you, an extension of your soul that had grown its consciousness.

As you approached the glade where Viktor waited, Elowen tensed beside you. Her eyes locked onto the unfamiliar figure, wariness replacing her earlier excitement.

"It's alright," you soothed, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "This is Viktor. He's a friend who's been helping me find your mom."

Viktor stood frozen, his soul flickering with a storm of emotions only you could see. Guilt, hope, and fear swirled within him. His gaze locked onto Elowen, his past sins settling heavily upon his shoulders.

To Viktor, Elowen was a living reminder of what he had stolen - a child robbed of her mother because of his actions. The pain in his eyes was almost tangible, a counterpoint to the soft, pulsing light of Charlotte's soul fragments that spun beside him.

Elowen looked between you and Viktor as she tried to make sense of the stranger who you’d introduced as a friend. "Hello," she said cautiously, looking to you for approval. You smiled, nodding your encouragement.

Viktor swallowed hard and then inclined his head in greeting. "Hello, Elowen. It’s a pleasure to meet you."

You guided Elowen closer, watching as her eyes widened in wonder at the sight of the glowing shards. But before you could explain what they were, Elowen gasped, her small hands reaching out towards the fragments. "Mama!" she cried, tears welling up in her eyes. The soul pieces pulsed brighter at her exclamation, as if responding to her cry.

Your heart clenched at the raw longing in Elowen's voice. You placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, drawing her attention. "Elowen," you said softly, "your mama needs your help. She needs to be reminded of who she is." You knelt beside her, your eyes level with hers. "Can you tell us stories about her? About the times you spent together? It will help bring her back."

Elowen nodded eagerly, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand. "Mama used to sing to me every night. Even when we couldn’t make dinner, she'd hold me close and hum my favourite songs."

As she spoke, the shards pulsed brighter, their movements becoming more coordinated. You nodded encouragingly, and Elowen continued.

She told of Charlotte working long hours in the factories, coming home with hands stained black from machine oil but still finding the energy to play hide-and-seek in their tiny one-room apartment. Of weeds they kept in plant boxes on the window sill, the only things that would grow in the toxic air.

She recounted how Charlotte would skip meals, claiming she wasn't hungry so that Elowen could have a little more, even though Elowen knew better. How she'd fashion dolls out of scraps of fabric and buttons, bringing joy from cast-off remnants.

With each story, the soul fragments drew closer, their light growing more intense. Your magic guided them, urged them to form, but it was Elowen who sealed them together.

"And then," Elowen said, her eyes shining, "there was the day Mama found that old book of fairy tales. She'd read me a different story every night. She did all the voices, even the scary ones!"

At those words, the fragments suddenly rushed together, merging in a blinding flash of light. You shielded your eyes, heart pounding in your throat.

As the glow faded, you saw her - Charlotte - whole and radiant, her form shimmering into solidity, her arm returned, looking younger than you’d ever known her. Her auburn hair fell in waves to her shoulders, matching Elowen’s. Her eyes fluttered open, confusion giving way to wonder as she took in her surroundings.

Then her gaze fell on Elowen.

Charlotte's breath caught in her throat, her hands flying to her mouth. "Elowen?" she whispered, disbelief and hope warring in her voice. "My baby?"

Elowen let out a cry of pure joy, launching herself into her mother's arms. "Mama!"

Charlotte caught her daughter, wrapping her in a tight hug. Tears streamed down her face as she buried her nose into Elowen's hair, breathing in the scent of her child. "Oh, my sweet girl," she sobbed, rocking gently. "My precious, precious girl."

A lump formed in your throat as you witnessed the reunion, your eyes brimming with unshed tears. You stood behind Charlotte, your magic fading to simmer in the background.

Charlotte pulled back slightly, her hands cupping Elowen's face. "How is this possible?" she asked. "You’re just the same as I remember, my love. How long has it been?"

Elowen pointed behind Charlotte and the older woman turned, her gaze falling on you. Your breath hitched, a tangle of emotions too complex to pull apart rendering you speechless. You opened your mouth, but no words came out - just a choked sob of relief.

"Oh, you wonderful, silly girl," Charlotte said, thick with gratitude. "Get over here."

She reached out, drawing you into the hug. You fell into it willingly as you joined the tangle of arms and tears. Charlotte's grip was strong, anchoring you as surely as it did Elowen.

"Thank you," Charlotte whispered, her words muffled against your shoulder. "Thank you for bringing my Elowen back to me. For bringing me back to her."

You couldn't speak, too overwhelmed for words. Instead, you poured your feelings into the hug, your essence wrapping around mother and daughter like a protective shield.

As you held each other, time seemed to lose all meaning. It could have been minutes or hours before Charlotte finally loosened her grip, pulling back just enough to look at you and Elowen properly. Her eyes shone with tears, but her smile was brilliant.

"Look at you," she said. "You've changed so much, my dear. You're radiant." Her fingers traced the starlight in your hair, sending tiny sparks dancing across your skin. "It's like you've become part of the universe itself."

You smiled, an ache blooming in your chest. "I've missed you so much, Charlotte," you whispered, unable to bring yourself to speak any louder.

Charlotte's eyes crinkled with understanding. "We have time now," she assured you, her hand squeezing yours gently as she gazed adoringly at the little girl still clinging to her chest. "All the time in the world."

A flicker of movement caught your eye, and you turned, searching for Viktor. But the spot where he had stood was empty. Your heart sank, a frown tugging at your lips. After everything, had he run away?

Charlotte followed your gaze, her eyes softening. "Ah," she said quietly. "He needs time, I think. This can't be easy for him."

You blinked in surprise, turning back to Charlotte. "You know?"

She nodded, a forlorn smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "I remember bits and pieces. Enough to understand." She squeezed your hand again. "Tell him I'm here, when he's ready to talk. There's forgiveness to be found, if he's willing to seek it."

Relief washed over you. “Thank you.” you smiled softly. "I will."

*~*~*

Her mother glanced at the clock, it was well after her daughter should have gone to sleep. But what was the harm in indulging her curiosity just this once? “Did you know that she’s also the Goddess of Reunions?”

The little girl's eyes widened at this new piece of information. “She is?”

“She reunites souls after death who’d known each other in life. Mothers and daughters, friends, sisters, everyone with a connection are guided to each other.”

*~*~*

You kept a watchful eye on the souls entering your realm, always alert for familiar presences. Time had continued, and you had no idea how long it had been since you lived, but when you felt a distinctive energy crackling at the edges of your consciousness - chaotic, vibrant, and unmistakably Jinx - you reached out, gently guiding her towards the sanctuary.

As Jinx materialized, you noticed the tension in her shoulders, and the wariness in her eyes. She scanned her surroundings, fingers twitching as if reaching for weapons that were no longer there.

"Welcome, Jinx," you said, shimmering into view before her. "You're safe here."

Jinx's gaze snapped to you, recognition dawning in her eyes. "Mila? That glowy lady who blew herself up for the metal fortune cookie?" Is that how people remembered you? "What is this place? Where's-"

But before she could finish her question, a blur of motion caught your attention. Isha came bounding across the meadow, her face alight with joy. She skidded to a stop in front of Jinx, her hands moving in a flurry of excited gestures.

Jinx's eyes widened, her lips parting in disbelief. For a moment, she stood frozen, her gaze locked onto Isha's beaming face. Then, with a choked sob, Jinx fell to her knees, her arms wrapping around Isha and pulling her in for a rib-cracking hug.

"You're here," Jinx whispered, her voice cracking. "You're really here."

Isha nodded vigorously, her small hands patting Jinx's back. You felt a surge of emotion from Jinx - a tidal wave of grief, guilt, and overwhelming relief that pulled at her heart like a fishing hook. Her body shook with silent sobs as she clung to Isha, her face buried in the girl's wild hair - twin braids and died blue.

You stood back, giving them space.

A deep voice called out from behind you, rich and thick as he swallowed his hope-tinged sorrow. "Powder."

Jinx stilled, her body going rigid. Slowly, she turned, her eyes locking onto the imposing figure of Vander as he approached. Time seemed to stand still as they regarded each other, years of pain and regret hanging heavy between them.

Then, with a choked sob, Jinx - arms still wrapped tight around Isha - launched herself against Vander’s chest, crushing the little girl between them, though she didn’t seem to mind. He caught her easily, enveloping her in a bear hug that lifted her off her feet. Jinx clung to him, her face buried in his chest as her shoulders shook with silent tears.

"I'm sorry," she cried, her voice muffled. "I'm so sorry."

Vander's large hand cradled the back of her head, his eyes glistening. "Shh, it's alright," he soothed. "You're home now, Powder. You're home."

*~*~*

The little girl yawned, her eyelids fluttering as she fought to stay awake. “She has Viktor and all her friends, do you think she’s happy now?” 

“Yes,” her mother replied, a knowing smile on her lips. “I believe she is.”

Silence filled the small room, the nightlight casting stars on the ceiling. Just as her mother thought her asleep, shifting to stand, the girl asked one more question.

“Do goddesses sleep?”

Her mother paused, having been unprepared to provide that answer. “Everyone sleeps eventually,” she said. “Even curious little girls.”

The girl giggled, her mother placing one last kiss on her forehead before wishing her a goodnight, and departing from her room.

*~*~*

You stood atop a grassy hill, your hand clasped in Viktor's as you gazed out over the ever-expanding sanctuary. The sky above shimmered with countless stars, each one a soul finding peace in your realm.

"It's time, isn't it?" Viktor asked softly, his thumb tracing circles on the back of your hand.

You nodded, a lump forming in your throat. "Yes, I think it is."

For eons, you had watched over the souls in your care, guiding them, comforting them, reuniting them with loved ones. You had witnessed countless joys and sorrows, rebirths and un-deaths, forgiveness and redemption. Everyone else had become one with the land, only you and Viktor remained. Now, a bone-deep weariness had settled into your soul. The weight of eternity pressed down on you, and you knew in the depths of your soul, it was time to rest.

Viktor squeezed your hand, his eyes reflecting the starlight above. "One last day," he said, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Let's make it count."

You spent the day wandering through your realm, revisiting all the places that held special meaning for you both. You walked beneath the cascading light of the Aurora Falls, your laughter echoing off the clear waters. You ate your favourite lunches in the Whispering Woods, where the trees sang ancient melodies as you passed.

As the day wore on, you found yourselves in the Meadow of Memories. Flowers of every colour stretched as far as the eye could see, each bloom holding the essence of a cherished moment. You and Viktor lay side by side in the soft grass, watching as the petals released glowing specks that danced on the breeze. Your sparks spun around them, carrying whispers of laughter, tears, and everything in between.

Viktor propped himself up on one elbow, his amber eyes searching yours. "Do you have any regrets?"

You reached up, cupping his cheek in your palm. How many times had he asked you this? And how many times had you given him the same answer?

"Not a single one."

As twilight fell, you followed a narrow path that wound its way to a cliff face at the very edge of your realm. You gazed out at the vast expanse of the universe, an empty sea where there had once been countless souls. Now, they were all housed within your sanctuary.

You turned to Viktor, drinking in the sight of him one last time - the angular lines of his jaw, the warmth in his amber eyes, the gentle smile that had never ceased to make your heart flutter through countless ages.

"Are you ready?" you asked, almost afraid, but with Viktor, that feeling washed away under his devotion.

Viktor nodded, pulling you close. "When I’m with you? Always."

You leaned in, your lips meeting Viktor's in a kiss that felt both familiar and thrillingly new. His arms encircled you, pulling you flush against him as the kiss deepened. It was every moment of joy, every hardship overcome, every whispered promise and tender touch shared over endless lifetimes.

Viktor's hand cupped the back of your neck, his fingers tangling in your starlit hair. You felt the gentle scrape of his nails on your scalp, the warmth of his breath mingling with yours. Time seemed to slow, each second stretching into eternity as you lost yourself in the feeling of him.

Your bodies began to shimmer, intertwining like threads of starlight. The boundaries between you blurred, two souls merging into one radiant being.

Together, you stepped off the cliff's edge. But instead of falling, you floated, your combined energy spreading outward like ripples in a cosmic pond. Your consciousness expanded, suffusing every blade of grass, every drop of water, every piece of starlight in your sanctuary.

You became the whisper of wind, the crash of waves against the shores. You were the heat of the eternal sun and the cool glow of the ever-present moon. Every flower in the Meadow of Memories held a fragment of your shared love, every star in the sky a spark of your combined spirit.

As your energies settled into the fabric of the realm, you felt a profound sense of peace wash over you. The weight of godhood lifted, replaced by the simple joy of existence. You were everywhere and nowhere, eternally present yet finally at rest.

A small part of your consciousness lingered, a gentle guardian watching over the souls in your care. You felt their joys and sorrows, their triumphs and struggles, but no longer as separate entities. They were a part of you now, and you a part of them.

You and Viktor found your final peace, forever entwined in the sanctuary you had created. Your love story had become legend, whispered by the winds and sung by the stars, a tale of the power of forgiveness, redemption, and a love that transcended life, death, and eternity itself.

But most important of all, you were together, always and forever, and nothing could pull you apart.

A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope this answered any lingering questions <3

I debated with giving them a Janet and Jason (from the Good Place) ending, but that was too sad, even for me :')

[dramaticallytotal]

I have fallen into world tour again and fell into the alenoah rabbit hole, so I'm making it everyone else's problem XD

So why not start off with a fic idea?

Accidentally Popular:

I really am a sucker for Noah becoming Chris and Chef's like pseudo kid when Noah worked as Chris's assistant, but neither Chris nor Chef will ever admit it (Only to themselves and each other). While working for Chris, he unknowingly becomes popular with the interns, prop masters, camera crew, etc. So when Noah was "fired," they all nearly quit. He was basically the only thing keeping the show and network together. I mean, he somehow managed to scare the executives and producers into being somewhat nice to them all.

Chris had to explain to those who were threatening to quit that he didn't want to fire Noah, but the execs and producers strong armed him. He also secretly let's them know that the firing was staged due to Noah having to compete in the new season of Total Drama. No one is particularly happy, but they stay and play along since they know now that Noah will be back once he manages to get himself eliminated. Of course, he can't do it right away as that would make the execs and producers suspicious, but they were willing to let Chris rehire him if he got far in the game, unlike last time.

Noah hates everything about the plan, but hey, if this will make the execs and producers get off his and Chris's back in the future, so be it. Now Noah actually has to try and stick it out, unlike on Island, when he took one look at the camp and decided he would get thrown off as soon as he could manage.

He is not that same old Noah anymore. Sure, he's still snarky and witty and hella smart, but he's not as lazy as he once was, and he's learned to be more compassionate and to hold his tongue due to him leading teams left and right and also having to talk to various people on behalf of Chris. He's even learned to smooze rather well.

He thought he would probably stick to his normal group of friends, but once the game starts, he starts accidentally making a lot of connections and friendships without knowing. Like when he let Tyler rant about Lindsey not remembering him and how bummed he was because it somewhat reminded him of his sister Nadia when a guy she really liked ghosted. She had been so distraught and angry, so Noah sat and listened. He had no advice to give but at least he could lend an ear.

Then there was the time Bridgette was having a hard time missing Jeff, and though the party dude annoyed Noah, he knew the guy was genuinely nice. Plus, it reminded him of his other sister Neelima and an intern named Stacy, who both were in long-distance relationships. So Noah offered to help Bridgette write some letters for Jeff even if he wouldn't get them unless they happened to stop near a post office. His sister and Stacy had done the same when they missed their partners and swore it helped.

Somehow, it turned into a trend that Noah vaguely acknowledged, but for the most part, he just kind of thought everyone was just being nicer to him because he was Owen's friend. Little did he know, no, it was because he was just being himself. They all started to like him even if he tended to be blunt.

He even got Heather to like him! And she had believed he was just playing the game. But one night, when he had gone to use the restroom, he caught Heather messing with her hair in there looking like she was going to cry. It took a bit till she admitted that while she was used to the short hair now, she still missed how long it used to be. Noah was reminded of his sister Nila when she had to cut her hair due to some jerk putting gum in it. She had been so depressed she wore a beanie for a month straight. Look, Noah wasn't great at doing his own hair, but he was damn good at helping his sisters with their's since they forced him to learn how to braid and whatnot. So he and Heather messed around with different styles until she felt confident once more.

Alejandro also believed Noah was just playing the game and doing a better job of it than him. So he did his damn best to befriend Noah for strategy, of course, but somewhere along the way, he actually considered Noah a friend. Then London happened, and Noah took it as the perfect opportunity to throw himself out by talking shit about Alejandro. He chose to do so because he was suspicious of him like he originally was, but also, he totally doesn't think Alejandro considers them friends. Hell, he doesn't know that practically everyone on the plane considers them his friends! He just knew how temperamental Alejandro was and used it to his advantage.

In this au, he definitely wins the comeback challenge with Blainley. Of course, he partners up with Alejandro, who thinks they are now rivals. Yes he does make it to the final two with Alejandro.

When it's the Aftermath episode where everyone picks teams, Noah jas the most people, and when one has to compete for him, all of them are like "as Noah's best friend, i should compete" And everyone is like "??? I'm his best friend"

When Noah sees his team during the finale, he gets so flustered that Alejandro finally believes that Noah is an oblivious genius idiot. It's also when he decides to shoot his shot, but now he's not trying to be subtle. He's basically professing his love, which just makes Noah more flustered yet also strangely determined to win as he thinks maybe Alejandro will stop flirting once Noah wins.

Noah wins.

Alejandro does not stop.

________

Overall a kinda crack-y idea XD

[ilikekidsshows]

I really don’t believe that Marinette and Adrien, should be together at this point in time. They’re clearly not ready for a relationship and it seems like them being together has only been a detriment to them. Marinette has a hard time thinking clearly when it involves Adrien in some capacity and it’s led to catastrophe every time. As for Adrien, he’s still defining himself by someone’s else expectations of him and we see how desperate he can be to have his feelings returned to the point he’s willing to sacrifice his wants and feelings every single time.

---

Adrien and Marinette are the worst kind of codependent, where they’ve been convinced only the other person can make them happy and that they only need the other person to be happy. Adrien’s entire support network was systematically torn down in season 4 and now he’s an orphan, whose caretaker was picked by Marinette. Adrien doesn’t even know how completely Marinette controls him and his life now. Marinette knows the truth about his father and makes the decisions on what to do about it. Marinette has decided that he will not know the truth about the wedding rings, meaning he can’t keep them, therefore himself, safe, making him reliant on Marinette for safety. Even as a superhero he now has to accept Marinette’s judgement call on everything, having to operate blindly because he is given none of the information.

Adrien’s most important character motivation has been his desire for agency from the start, but now the person who’s supposedly “perfect for him” is denying him agency and controlling almost every aspect of his life. Nothing about this relationship is good for Adrien, it’s not giving him a choice and it’s draining his emotional well-being to constantly have to cater to Marinette’s mountains of issues because she will only accept help from someone who’s dating her instead of going to a mental health professional. Adrien needs people who like him as he is with no expectations, not people who want to possess him and drain him emotionally.

Marinette is no better. Her judgement has always been at its weakest when Adrien is a concern, and, just as she acknowledges this, she gets rewarded with a relationship with Adrien without her having to change her behavior first. She never had to grow or learn anything before Adrien was suddenly in love with her and pursuing her and taking care of all of her insecurities in their relationship for her. He’s also so accepting of all of her faults that she puts no thought into her decisions concerning his wellbeing and autonomy. Even as Ladybug she’s constantly asking for Cat Noir’s support while offering nothing in return and she has repeatedly failed to treat him as a human being with wants and needs that matter.

Marinette can’t even tell her boyfriend she likes him, he just knows because he’s so perfect. This inability to communicate even the simplest, most necessary things to her loved ones in zero-stakes situations has been Marinette’s number one character flaw since the start of the series and the writing crew are too scared of changing the status quo to have her learn anything, even when her refusal to just talk to people is causing actual harm. Marinette’s inability to communicate is a flaw she should work through instead of being excused, coddled and rewarded for it.

[gabessquishytum]

Hob is the celebrity chef; Dream is the one hustling to get his food noticed.

Hob is signing his newest cookbook at an event; Dream is at the event with Death, who encouraged him to go to the event and "network".

She even convinced Dream to bake a small batch of his best, newest creations to take and see if he can get any of the big name cooking people to taste them.

Dream did it (and doesn't he feel some kind of way about carrying around Tupperware to an industry event) and he can't imagine, people like Hob Gadling being willing to taste his cooking.

Hob is the one who's bored. He still loves cooking, but gone are his guerilla days - cooking over a refurbished repurposed bunsen burner; trying to make something tasty with slightly (mildly) expired ingredients. Now it's all fancy and away from what used to get him really interested in cooking, innovation.

He's honestly considering doing one of those chef cooking contest shows just for the purported "challenge". And he used to be vocal that those types of things were like dying and Hob never wanted to die! Then this beautiful man walked up to his signing table and offered him a bite of some confection.

Hob will be the first to say not to take and eat food handed to you from people you don't know in a public crowd, that is dangerous! But Hob was distracted by the pretty,,,,, then he was distracted by the deliciousness.

He's decided to live for whatever he just put in his mouth.....maybe also, pretty chef man.

So cute!!!! 😭

Dream is so surprised that his idol and maybe celebrity crush Hob Gadling actually tasted his food! What's more, he seemed to really enjoy it. Dream’s not sure because he was so overwhelmed, but he thinks that Hob might have been flirting with him?! Either way; Hob DID give Dream a card with his personal number and told him to call later. So Dream is on cloud nine!

When Dream nervously calls the number, Hob is just as enthusiastic as before. He invites Dream to stop by at his home, and maybe bring some more of his dishes for Hob to try? Dream eagerly fills half a dozen more tupperwares heads over to the fancy side of town. Hob’s house is super nice, and the kitchen is like something out of Dream’s own fantasies. Dream shyly explains that he doesn't have any fancy equipment of his own, all of his dishes are made using the bare minimum and on a strict budget. Hob is fascinated. He wants to hear all about Dream’s story. And yes, he accidently eats almost everything Dream brought with him. He likes food, and this food is particularly delicious!!!

Dream’s story and yummy cooking make Hob feel totally inspired. It's time to step away from the fancy cuisine and return to his roots. He wants to teach people how to cook good food without breaking the bank! And he wants Dream to help him.

Their project together goes through many phases but eventually ends up as a community kitchen and charity foundation. Hob and Dream cook together, teach other people how to cook, hire new chefs to get their project out into different cities. They even end up writing a book together, coming full circle to do a signing event where they share the same table. Look closely and you'll see their ankles hooked together, casually intimate. Hob looks happier than he's been in years - a diet of Dream’s love and cooking clearly suits him.

(They still have a big fancy kitchen at home, btw. Big enough for Dream to bend Hob over the counters and not have to worry about breaking anything. And to have a designated cupboard for lube <3)

[yiffos-official]

I am willing to give you or anyone else on tumblr the skills and advice the helped me get my dream job

the idea of working for TEK a few months ago would just be a fantasy

my background in education is English. I learned what I know now on my own and only by random chance.

This is why I am so critical of the linux commumity on tumblr.

They're tagging themselves as -official when they can't provide casual end user support.

They're entirely too horny to be in this sphere. Computers and linux should not be about how much you want to fuck/be fucked by X

it will deter end users

This is very cool that you will help other tumblr users with this stuff; i may actually take you up on this at some point :3

(my tone here is /g, /pos, /nm, /lh)

I do, however, kind of disagree with the other points. I think that for any other social media it's correct, twt or fb does not have the culture to make these sorts of parody accounts viable or not-counter-productive to increasing the linux market share. But I don't think that tumblr is the same.

I think that tumblr does. I think the tumblr community has always been this somewhat ephemeral yet perpetual inside joke culture where almost every user is in-the-know, and new users to the joke are able generally able to catch on quickly to it due to their general understanding of they way tumblr communities operate.

IMO, it's a somewhat quick pipeline of:

\> find first "x-official" blog -> assume it's real -> see them horny posting about xenia -> infer that RH corporate would probably not approve of such a blog

I can appreciate that it might be intimidating to seek out help as a new linux user, and especially a new linux & tumblr user, but looking through these blogs, you do see them helping out people ^^. heck, my last post was helping someone getting wayland working on an nvidia system.

The main goal of these blogs is not to be a legitimate CS service to general end-users. they aren't affiliated with the software their blog is named after, so in many cases they *cant*. The goal is instead to foster a community around linux, creating a general network of blogs of the various FOSS projects that they enjoy.

I think that final sentiment, of these blogs detering end users, is most likely counter to their actual effect on end users who are considering switching to linux.

We all know a lot of tumblr is 20 or 30 something year olds who have just stuck around since ~2012ish, and new users to tumblr join with pre-existing knowledge of the culture and platform. Almost anyone coming across these blogs are going to be people who can see the "in" joke, and acclimate. I do highly doubt that a random facebook mom who's son convinced her to install mint on her old laptop would find tumblr, find a -official blog, scroll through said blog, and be detered from using mint.

The other side of this is that any tumblr users who come across these blogs, be it with an inkling of desire to switch to linux or not, will see a vibrant and active community that fits very well into the tumblr community. They remember, or have heard of, the amtrac & OSHA blogs, and are therefore probably aware that this is a pre-existing meme on here.

In all likelyhood, this will probably further incentivize them to make the switch, as they would be more attracted to a community of their peers over a community of redditors telling them to read the arch wiki repeatedly

I can, on the other hand, definitely see that for people who have difficulties with parsing tone, and especially sarcasm, would have trouble with this. TBH, I have these difficulties (hence when I was speaking to you yesterday I used the /unjerk indicator, as I couldn't tell what the tone of the conversation was), and so it took me a little while of being in this weird "I'm 99% sure these *aren't* official, but what if?". I have been there forI think that maybe being more transparent with the fact that the blogs are parodies is probably important. I'm guilty of this, and after i post this, i'll add it to my bio.

[hiddensideoflife]

Many cultures and spiritualists are afraid of Saturn.  Why is that? Saturn in some ways can act like the South Node, Ketu, in that the planet will restrict certain areas of life or it can bring criticism or ill effects at the most inconvenient time.  The opposite of Saturn's zodiac signs are Leo and Cancer.  The lord of the zodiac sign Leo is the Sun, and the lord of the zodiac sign Cancer is the Moon.  When we say opposite, here is a visual of what we mean:

1st House: Leo (Sun)– 7th House would be Aquarius (Saturn)

1st House: Cancer (Moon)- 7th House would be Capricorn (Saturn)

The first house is you or the self and the 7th house is the spouse and, essentially, other people.  For Leo, the natural state is to be about the self, in the center of attention as the brightest star, like its lord, the Sun. Leo represents charisma, attention and adoration of the self and even adorning others with the same affection.  Leo can be caring, adventurous, creative and a great leader.  It’s opposite is Aquarius, a Saturnian sign.  Aquarians can be loners, easy going and free-spirited.  They are often humanitarian and independent, sometimes in search of a higher truth or cause that is all about everyone else and the greater good.  Leo is fiery passion; Aquarius is airy intellect.  Leo is all about the heart, Aquarius is often in the head.  While Leo is trying to be the center of attention, Aquarius may be an excellent find initially, but may present more as aloof and needing more independence and space in the long run.  Leo parents must be mindful of Aquarian, free flowing children who need their space and time to go their own way.  On the flip side, Aquarian parents must be mindful that their Leo child may need more attention and affection than what they are comfortable giving at certain times. 

Cancer, the zodiac sign of the Moon, and Capricorn, Saturn’s zodiac sign, presents a similar dynamic. The Moon is actually afraid of lord Karma, Saturn.  The Moon represents the subconscious and our happiness.  Saturn, when in contact with the Moon, brings reality, creating psychological issues and internal struggles.  The Moon is faced with the harsh realities of life and may need to work harder or balance internal conflicts and demons when in contact with Saturn. 

In Vedic Astrology, Sade Sati is a period of 7 years (when Saturn is transiting the 12th from the natal moon, the house of the natal moon and then the 2nd house after the natal moon).  For some people, this period will bring great gains as Saturn may bring a lot of opportunities for work and to grow professionally.  How this manifests for each individual depends on what type of mindset one has and deeds the person has done in this life.  Saturn is about balance so if we have had a level head about gains, desires, work, family and serving others, we will likely benefit from this period, though we may be extremely busy.  If this period is about growing us spiritually, it may bring hardship that will make us turn to the divine or our higher power for a connection so we can grow spiritually.  Though we are often content to say Neptune and Ketu are about spirituality, Saturn will teach us the essence of spirituality through realism, a balance in material desires and dedication to serving others if we are willing to surrender to the planet’s wisdom. 

Saturn is the original lord of the 10th house, which is not just about our profession and public image, but our deeds.  He also rules the original 11th house which is gains, wishes, desires as well as our social circles and networks. 

Hopefully, this provides an idea of the lessons that Saturn is trying to teach us:

Life is not all about us.  If we live a life where we are always making it about us, Saturn will create a reality check at some point to help us learn the lesson to consider others. (Example: Leo will constantly be faced with this reality in relationships with others.)

We reap what we sow.  Some of the karma or obstacles we are facing in this life are about what we did in previous lives.  But we are in control of what we do now.  Are our actions in line with being mindful of the good of all, or are we grandstanding or trying to deceive and con others?

Live within our means. Are we spending beyond our means to overcompensate for who we are not or to simply be lavish and comfortable beyond what we can afford? Saturn has a way of checking our desires and gains with a harsh reality by increasing expenses or crippling what we thought would be around forever. (Example: Cancer may experience this restriction in a relationship with the spouse that brings reality and concern about spending.)

Honor our words. If we are cheating on spouses or lovers or even cheating people in business or work, Saturn does not see this well.  This planet is about service, humility, dedication and commitment.  It is not uncommon to see a Varga chart in Vedic Astrology full of deceit, dishonesty and unfaithfulness, thus manifesting in this life as one needing to face the effects of this karma from previous births.  All we can do about that is to be a better person and sometimes it will mean removing ourselves from these sorts of people when possible.    

Treat servants and subordinates well. Saturn is all about the people and service.  This ill-treatment of people who depend on us and rely on us for work often has a way to come back to us double and triple fold. 

Give to others whenever you can. As the original owner of the 11th house, Saturn is all about helping the masses and aligning our desires and wishes with the greater good.  If our desires and hopes are not all about us, this will likely work better for the greater good, pleasing lord Karma when the time comes for his blessings. 

Know that everything that is for us comes in perfect time. Being in a rush to obtain anything is not ideal. If we notice that it is taking time to get something material we desire (spouse, credentials, career, wealth, etc.), we must do our best to give it to the divine. State our desires and focus on growing personally and spiritually. Some things have been delayed for a reason. Saturn is slow to bless, but with patience, we always get rewarded favorably for what we learned along the way when we persevere and stay the course.

Liked this post? You may also like this post: Neptune through the Houses.

Namaste…

[skeletoninthemelonland]

Hi Starbs, sorry to hear about your situation, I am a bit younger than you and a couple of years ago I was put into a similar spot, even right now as I'm finishing up high-school my housing isn't very stable. I'll give you some tips if it's something that could help you. (I am from the USA so things are probably different over there) also apologies I am not good with English!!

SAVE. SAVE. SAVE. Budgeting and being frugal when it comes to money is extremely important!!

Do keep a bit of spending money as treats and keeping morality in check will do you good in the long run.

My storage unit costs me 66$ USD a month it's the size of a walk in closet. Whatever isn't essential or you can't carry in a backpack it's best you have a safe place to store it. Some will ask you to buy your own lock so keep that in mind.

Reach out to youth shelters! The one I'm staying at lets us stay 60 days but makes us leave at least 7 until we can come back. We can keep coming back as many times needed for us to find housing (as long as we don't have a record with causing problems at the shelter)

Learn your bus routes if you can, it saves more money than using a car.

Let trustworthy people know about your situation, friends, teachers, whoever, let them know as community and building a support system is essential.

Communicate with your college, perhaps they have dorms or programs that may be of assistance.

Eat!! Drink water!!! Take care of your hygiene!!!

Some gyms have showers so you can get a membership just to go shower if you need!

Cars can be very useful as you can sleep in them, there are camping spots rangers won't look through sometimes you could sleep at, 24 hour opened store parking lots, or in my case outside the gym you have a membership for that's open 24 hours!

Keep distance from your parents. I don't know your situation but from my experience, KEEP A DISTANCE AND HAVE FIRM BOUNDARIES!!! You don't owe them anything, not your location, who you're with, you're schedule, they don’t need to know that.

Apartments usually want you to make 2-3 times the rent. Example: rent is 600 a month? Then you need to make around 1200-1800 a month.

If you have a job communicate with your boss about your situation, they can be very flexible and understanding.

Don't burn bridges in the professional field!

Social networking is a life saver, if you make the right impressions with the right people it can come in clutch later on.

I'm repeating this again but building community and a support system is essential. Maybe a friend you get along well with also wants to move in, you could be roommates. Or an older woman who is fond of you learns about your situation and is willing the rent you a room in her home.

Pay attention to red flags!

Red flags in apartments can be how well maintain it is (mold underneath the sink) and how you’re landlord approaches it.

Red flags in people, like they could know you're desperate and will try to use that against you.

Do your laundry at friend's homes or in public laundromats.

Red flags in environments, maybe you end up in a bad part of town, get out ASAP!!

Share and update someone trustworthy often, you never know what could happen.

I wish I could offer you more but I'm currently still figuring out my situation as well. Stay safe!! Remember someone out there really loves you and wants you to be okay!! And you deserve to be okay!!

.

[sjofn-lofnsdottr]

What is the origin of their personality? And let's be honest - how much of it is projecting?

As I've mentioned here and there, Dusk, Mercuriel and Errol were all created for a RP thing I was in many years ago. It was a post-apocalypse setting.

To start with, I made someone entirely unsuited to the post-apocalypse in a particular way, which was Errol, a depressed coward. Errol was that way because I wanted to offset the more violent, ruthless characters in our group and see how long he managed to survive (obviously, I made peace with the idea he might not). As it turned out, when I was writing Errol, he was so pathetic wet soggy cat that even warlords wanted to wrap him in a blanket and give him soup. Was that intended? Not really. But I sure did lean into it.

The depression part was projection. :D

Mercuriel, I wanted to make someone who was extremely skilled at talking his way out of trouble. Someone who was really kind of an asshole but so damn charming about it people liked him anyway. And someone who was, in fact, a way bigger asshole than people realized because those little charming asshole moments were a drop in the bucket compared to what he really thought.

The problem with wanting to write a character like that, is having to figure out how to actually be that charming! I have been assured I managed, but woof. He was the hardest to write for sure.

Catty inner asshole might be a little bit of a projection. I promise I'm not nearly as petty, though. I promise!

So both those guys, they had very messy inner lives (which sometimes became messy outer lives). For my next character, I wanted someone completely different from that. Someone who was exactly who he seemed to be, and who wasn't really very messy at all. And so I created Dusk, a genuinely nice man, a man that is genuinely an open book, a man who is genuinely as low drama as he seems at first blush. Dusk is the nicest man in the world, who has nearly endless love for his fellow man, and as a result seems completely out of place in the rough world he found himself in. But he forges such strong bonds with people, on account of his being so kind and so willing to help people, he wound up one of the most secure people in the game, and most able to cope with The Horrors because of the support network he was a part of. None of that is projection, it's more ... idealistic goals.

No, what is projection are a lot of the little quirks I gave him. He's a terrible insomniac. He doesn't have no thoughts, he has EVERY thought and his mind never stops turning them over and over and over in his head. He hyperfocuses and forgets to eat, and then when he's reminded he should, he eats whatever is fastest/easiest to shove in his face so he can go back to doing something more interesting. Some things he remembers very, VERY well (names, conversations he had months ago, what things look like), and yet he can't remember where he just put his paintbrush, and then forgets he was doing something that required a paintbrush two minutes later. If you get him talking, he will talk and talk and talk and talk, giving excessive detail because context is important, even if it's not actually necessary.

Eventually I was reading up on ADHD for a friend, and realized Dusk probably has some form of ADHD.

Then I realized, oh. I probably have some form of ADHD.

Good times.

Thank you for the ask!

[dnalt-d2]

Christ alive can anyone get a break right now??

(Ahem)

Update time, once again!

Also once again, it is a mixed bag

So to start off with, as most everyone knows, Pomme and Dapper's admins have resigned from their positions. This is incredibly unfortunate, and I honestly don't know what it's gonna mean for the French Creators who said they wouldn't stay on QSMP if Pomme's Admin was fired. Since she technically left of her own volition, I really don't know what they're gonna do

(Edit: I talk about Quackity's stream here but I don't speak Spanish so I can't personally say what was said exactly. Thankfully, it looks like someone JUST POSTED an English Translation so I'm just gonna drop the link here for anyone who wants to read it)

On another note: Quackity has finally given a slight update. For obvious reasons, he can't say anything specific, and I wouldn't have expected him to. But according to the translations I've seen so far, basically said that he can't update because the leaks that happened are creating added complications in the restructuring process. I'm assuming his reason for that is that he simply doesn't want anymore information to be leaked out, but unfortunately, that's just counterproductive to the miscommunication problem

AND SPEAKING OF MISCOMMUNICATION???

So as you all know, I've been in support of the French Union getting involved with this. As I've stated a dozen times now, Unions are meant to be resources, people who inform employees of their rights and do what they can to help them get those rights. As far as I know, one of the main things they do is mediate between the employees and the employers. But APPARENTLY the Union has not attempted to reach out to Quackity outside of Twitter. Which REALLY isn't all that professional. Twitter is a NETWORKING site. Meant to START building connections. Afterwards, people typically move onto email or even discord, which are way better equipped for the long-form communication that's about to have to happen

So even if Quackity WAS active on Twitter, which he isn't. And even if the Union DIDN'T know that, which they do. This isn't the right route to communicate. They have stated that he "has their email" and has to "reach out to them." They are apparently working on the logic that SOMEONE would have had to pass on the information to him by this point, which isn't a fair assumption at all, considering that we know there were Admins ALREADY hiding information from him before all this

They're acting like Quackity is the CEO of a major corporation, with COUNTLESS RESOURCES on-hand. Yeah he's the CEO of this business, but he's also a 23-year-old Twitch Streamer who in all likelihood is learning a LOT about running a business for the first time AS WE SPEAK. I'll tell you right now, when I was 23, I didn't know jack-shit, and I'd still say I don't most of the time. And the only reason I LEARNED jack-shit was because someone would actually TELL me about it. When someone makes mistakes, it REALLY helps them learn when someone is able to not just point out the mistake, but also HOW to fix it. I don't know how they're expecting him to grow from his miscommunication mistakes when they aren't willing to give him the chance to

And yes, there are MANY problems that need to be fixed, as I've said before. But Quackity did outright confirm some of the other things I've said too. That things ARE happening, and we aren't hearing about it. That we aren't GOING to hear about it. Which is fine. It makes sense. We aren't the people who need to know every step of the process. But he is going to have to figure out a better system for talking to the Admins. It's a real problem when he's communicating with people like Aypierre that Pomme's Admin has her job still, but didn't tell the Admin herself

There's still lots of problems, and I know it sounds like I'm just repeating myself, saying to wait and see, but in reality, there isn't much else we CAN do besides that and voice our support

This might be the last time I make a post on this for a bit, because this has been a little draining on me. Which I would normally be able to handle SUPER easy, I'm pretty good at handling stuff like this well enough. But now I've also got real-life stuff reminding me that no matter how much better things SEEM to be getting for me, something's gonna come smack me in the back of the head to remind me that actually things suck, and I just should've known better! And unfortunately that stuff requires my focus more than this. I'll still be here, watching everything, maybe commenting on stuff, but I might not be quite as vocal as I have been

Once again, I remind you all, take care of yourselves first and foremost. Whether it's physical, emotional, or mental, or whatever else. You matter more than the events taking place here right now. My support goes out to all of you, as well as the Admins who VERY WELL COULD BE SEEING THIS APPARENTLY. So I guess this message goes out to them as well lol. You guys rock and I've enjoyed all the contributions you've made

Anyways, see you all later

[anxiousnerdwritings]

I think eventually Borros would have to step in and tell his son that he can’t just adopt random kids as it would fuck with the succession/bloodline and potential cause conflict within the house and it kind of devastates Himbo!Baratheon!Reader because he feels responsible for these kids although he knows his father is right so maybe he starts setting them up to have a better life in a similar manner Jon Arryn was doing for Robert’s bastards!

Like setting the boys up up for smithing apprenticeships or squires/pages because the minor lords or raising knights within the Stormland’s are jumping at the chance to earn House Baratheon’s favour or at least acknowledgment to build up their reputations. Having the girls be given jobs as handmaidens for the ruling ladies of minor houses or sending them to prestigious boarding houses all over the continent where they have the opportunity to work and live in a safe environment while he makes marriage arrangements with landed knights or merchant lords.

For a while Borros is still against this as he sees it as a waste of time but then there’s some sort of emergency and Himbo!Baratheon!Reader calls up someone and has it dealt with and Borros is like ??? before realizing that Himbo!Baratheon!Reader not only has spies in every corner of the Stormland’s with his little birds but he’s been fostering connections in other kingdoms as well as he’s regularly in contact with those he entrusted to take care of the kids.

He’s seen as more of a philanthropist for all of the “charity work” that he does but the dummy literally has an entire network of spies in the palm of his hand without even realizing it and he’s got a bunch of merchants, landed knights and minor lords kissing his ass.

I 100% don’t think Himbo!Baratheon!Reader would actually go about trying to legitimize any of his adopted bbys, he knows better to do that even though he so wishes he could. His main thing would be ensuring all of his kiddos are taken care of and happy, that’s what matters most to him and in him doing so he ends up with even more allies and people willing to do anything for him even if he doesn’t ask for it.

I love the thought of all the kids the Reader adopted or took in going out of their own ways to be spies and aid their father in whatever way they can simply because he’s been so unbelievably good to them of his own accord. Sure, he set them up with whatever lords, ladies, jobs, and whatever else to begin with but they went from there to make the most out of it if only to further their father’s reach and influence. Himbo!Baratheon!Reader is completely unaware of all of this but the pride and joy he shows for his kids in his letters and on the occasions when he visits them has his kids wanting to do nothing more than to continue in their endeavors, for him.

Also, given in this situation the dedication and commitment Himbo!Baratheon!Reader’s adopted kids have for him, imagine how they would be when they’re father actually gets married. Or even just the mere ongoings of a betrothal being put in place, no matter who it’s with. I can’t help but see all his kids being extremely overprotective and possessive of him to an extent. It’s one thing to share their father with each other and any new kids he adopts or takes in (and even that comes with it’s fair share of hostility, leading to plenty of fights), but it’s a whole nother thing having to give up their father to some stranger to take advantage of like that of a lover/spouse.

[blue-rose-soul]

Love AroAllo Nicaise. Just seems right.

She's exactly the sort of person I can imagine raising Alastor and helping him form his moral code.

Oh god, how did She take learning Alastor had a stalker?!

Nicaise, patching Alastor up after he got into a fight at school: Remember baby, don't go punching people unless they deserve it. Alastor: Yes ma'am. Nicaise: And don't get caught!

Same rules apply to stabbing, yes?

Nicaise is horrified and disgusted by the Vees. At first she only really knew about Valentino as Angel Dust's shithead boss and, like Cherri, works to cheer Angel up when Valentino is especially hard on him. Just... with more shopping trips and less drugs. She was already predisposed to hate Vox and Velvette simply because of their association with Valentino. Then she saw Alastor destroying the drones buzzing around the hotel. When she asked about them, Alastor simply described Vox as a disgusting voyeur who spied on everyone all of the time, and in the wake of the media circus, Nicaise didn't think there was much more to it.

She only learns the truth from an offhand comment thoughtlessly tossed out by Niffty about the TV bad boy's 'crush' on Alastor. Nicaise hopes desperately that she misheard when she asks Niffty for clarification. Husk tries to get Niffty to shut up, which only results in him getting interrogated by Alastor's mother. And Niffty was only guessing. Husk actually has some insight into Alastor's and Vox's history, their past friendship, their falling out. He doesn't give Nicaise the full story because he knows Alastor would skin him alive - not hyperbole - but he does tell Nicaise enough to paint a rather disturbing picture.

Her first thought is to go and confront this Vox person directly. Husk has to stop her. Pointing out that she's been able to stay out of the spotlight so far. Does she really want to reveal her identity to the freak in charge of every TV network in the Pentagram? Nicaise doesn't care. Does she want to get Alastor in even more trouble? This gives her pause. She's far from defenseless, but now that they know angels can be killed she can't afford to be reckless, and if Vox learned her identity he'd be all too eager to target her as a way of hurting Alastor. Besides, proud as Alastor is, he wouldn't want his mother fighting his battles for him. He's capable of defending himself, and he does have people on his side who are willing to provide backup in the instance he needs it.

Still, Nicaise insists there must be something that can be done about Vox. Aren't there some authorities they can report this to? A restraining order? Husk raises his eyebrow and reminds her they're in Hell.

[salllzy]

Sal's snippets #29

Alastor wasn't one for sentimental value and nor was he one to hold onto items, he disliked clutter and hated messy people even more, mess led to accidents. Those who lived in the hotel were sloppy, messy and had the skills of lobotomised children, he was not attached to them and ever since Lucifer had moved into the hotel? Every decision he had made, every solution that he had put forward had been ridiculed and judged, he hadn't said anything yet, but it was clear to him just who the others preferred and it didn't bother him. If they wanted to go to Lucifer over every little thing? Then let them. It would give him more free time and he would be able to spend that with his daughter, the pair of them had been busy, more so than usual and they hadn't been able to spend much time together and he wanted to change that. So with everyone going to Lucifer for every twenty tiny thing?

He was going to plan a day out for them. ----- To say that she was tired and stressed was an understatement, in a week she had foiled more plots to overthrow the royal families of Hell than she had in the past fifty years. Her network was run ragged and some were working double shifts just so others could go and get some rest. She was one of them, she wasn't about to let others pull extra shifts when she was able to help. However, she had been informed that she was having a day off, for some reason those who worked underneath her seemed to think that she was one step away from having a second death.

Normally she would have laughed at such a thing, but she had seen her reflection in a mirror and she didn't look that good. So she was willing to let them bully her out of the office for a day or two, the network knew how to contact her should they need to and she had left Zach and the others in charge. Between Zach, Margaret and the others, the network was in safe hands, so there was nothing wrong with her taking time for herself. "Papa." Her papa looked haggard and she was aware of the reason why, not that she would say anything. She looked like shit, so she didn't have a leg to stand on. "Shall we my deer?" He held an arm out for her to take and without a second thought, she looped their arms together. This was going to be fun, which was what they both needed.

[sophieinwonderland]

i hope it's okay to come here, and i'm sorry in advance if this gets a little long. i'm not sure if this is a vent or not, but i'm on anon because i'm very shy (and still struggling to leave as i'll explain in a bit).

i used to be anti-endo and i just want to know i'm not going to be all alone when i finally make the leap away from it, and your blog has some of the largest plural reach i know of. if anyone reading this has the time to hear me out or offer advice, i'd appreciate it. no obligation, of course.

i wasn't acting in bad faith. i was acting in genuine concern for people who i was led to believe were damaging themselves by "not confronting their trauma" or damaging others by spreading misinfo about my disorder.

granted, all of that behavior was absolutely not okay and a massive overstep, but i was a kid who felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. autistic strong sense of justice, yanno?

i know now that endos were never even claiming to have DID in the first place, and i also know that endos are plural - just in a different way than i am.

the anti-endo community i was in was an echo chamber of misinformation and disinformation. they made me feel like there was no way out and that i would lose my support network (what little i had), and as a cult survivor who was being stalked and threatened at that point of my life, that scared me enough into staying.

i was anti-endo for nearly four years if memory serves correctly. i couldn't find any other info than what they fed to me, so of course i believed them. of course i thought i was helping. i spent hours upon hours every day just telling people endos were wrong because i wanted to save them from manipulation that didn't even exist and i wanted to save others with DID from being fed misinformation that also didn't exist. i also was in such an environment that if i didn't partake, then i'd be next on their fakeclaiming/harassment list.

anti-endos as a whole are a community built on hating a problem that isn't even real. the problems that they pitched to me were baseless false accusations. endos don't make the claims that antis say they do. endos are just existing and trying to survive just like me. communities shouldn't be built on hate. they should be built on community and kindness.

and that's apparently a hot enough take to lose almost every friend i've ever made. i'm worried that i won't be able to find other systems who'd want to associate with me (which is entirely fair - i've been a harmful person and i'd never force them to be around me if they didn't want to), but i can't do this hatred and vitriol thing anymore. i just want to be kind. i just want to care about people and accept them for who they are. i don't want to be mean anymore.

- thunderstorm anon

Thanks for being open-minded and willing to change. Admitting that you're wrong and being open to change is incredibly brave!

In my experience, the pro-endo community has proven to be fairly forgiving. @SysmedsAreSexist was probably one of the most prolific anti-endos on the site for years. They had similar fears to you that when switching sides, they wouldn't be accepted, and wrote about it here:

But since then, I think they've been welcomed into the community by most pro-endos.

I think that when you make the leap, you won't find yourself as alone as you fear.

Best of luck to you! Sending my love best wishes your way! 💖💖💖

[beaker1636]

Donors Wanted - Chris Motionless Teaser and Masterlist

@talialovesmiw

“Listen, I know I sound absolutely fucking insane but I really need you to do this, please. I wouldn’t ask you, or risk outing them and you going against them. Rick means a lot to me, his friend and leader means a lot to me and if we can’t get him a donor then he will die within the next two days. Even if you only help until we can find him another one I would owe you, please.” My roommate Sierra begs, staring right into my eyes with her own brown ones, looking like she is ready to cry.

“So you want me to donate… sorry, let a vampire, which I didn’t think even existed, to drink from me because he would die if I don’t? One, why me? Two, if he's that close to death, what is stopping them from just taking a random person for him to feed from, isn’t that exactly what vampires do? And three, a fucking website? I have to sign up to donate through a website like what the hell?” I let out a sigh, brushing my hair back into a messy bun to get it out of my face while glaring at her as I took a seat on the couch.

“It’s you because I know that I can trust you not to out them, and I know you love to help people so if I could convince anyone to do it then I know it would be you. And they don’t just drink from anyone who isn’t willing to donate, that is their whole thing, and why they do the website. They don’t want to hurt or kill anyone despite the fact that it is accepted and normal in their culture. Hell, some others are upset that they do things this way, that they have a weird private network for this. Listen, I know this sounds crazy but they are a great group of people, Chris is one of the best people I have ever met despite the fact that he is a vampire, I wouldn’t ask you this if it wasn’t an emergency, please?” This time I can tell she is serious, looking like she is ready to cry and it is enough to make me let out a sigh, relenting.

“Only until they can find someone else, that’s it,” I say softly, not meeting her eyes. “Where do I go for this,” I say with a sigh of defeat.

Suddenly there are arms around me, her giving me the biggest smile that I have ever seen her have. “Thank you, I’m serious, thank you for this. They’re all going to appreciate this so much, I’ll tell Rick you are filling out the form online and he can accept it right away, get Chris here tonight so we can help him.”

My phone is taken from my hand as she quickly pulls something up, handing me a survey to fill out asking my name, ethnicity, blood type, any blood disorders, etc. I fill it out with a sigh, wanting to just get this done and over with, not honestly sure what I just walked into, before turning to Sierra with a defeated look to tell her I am done.

Seconds later I got a match approval notification and she turns to look at me again with a smile on her face. “Thank you, thank you so much. Rick asked if they can come over after nightfall and we can help Chris, is that okay?”

“I-I guess, if that is what is needed then I will do it. You’re lucky I trust you when you said that he’s a great guy because I really don’t know how to feel about this,” I say with a groan. “I’m going to go take a shower because I doubt I’ll have energy later.”

“Thank you, I’ll text him and let him know that Chris can come over later. I swear when you see how sickly he is you’ll understand why I am so desperate for this. This means way more to me than you would understand,” she says softly, moving to give me another hug that I shrug off before making my way into the bathroom.

As I settle into my hot shower I wonder what the hell I just got myself into, why I agreed to this. Hopefully this doesn’t bite me in the ass.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2