#just gonna go right for the throat

[givemeanaccountalready]

Musings on Deep Cover

So, I was fiddling with my ladies of Milgram post, and uh, I started thinking about Kotoko's diss track.

The lyrics transcribed on the Deep Cover video are:

UNDER Doltish 001 Parasite / UNDER Obscene 002 Slut / UNDER Incessant 004 Phony Queen / UNDER Doomed 005 Dissection Pawn / UNDER Concealing 007 Deceiver / UNDER Inept 011 Guard

My favorite is Ninjastic Cheetah's fan edit on YouTube which has these lines:

UNDER A worthless 01 parasite / UNDER A vulgar 02 slut / UNDER A stubborn 04 perjury / UNDER Unsalvageable 05 dissection / UNDER Lying 07 madman / UNDER Unloved 11 prison guard

Again, I love the psychic damage of "unloved" being Es's insult, but that's not the point I want to discuss before I turn in for the night.

Don't get me wrong. I love the diss track. I really do, but if I were Kotoko, I would have gone for the jugular and called out their insecurities when dropping names to emphasize how little I thought of how their justifications:

UNDER Fatal 001 leech / UNDER Lonely 002 little girl / UNDER Whiny 004 usurper / UNDER Short-sighted 005 savior / UNDER Selfish 7 manipulator / UNDER Misguided 011 pretender

Now, as fun as that was, this wasn't just a little aside. In Kotoko's diss track, she doesn't say anything that couldn't have been picked up from listening to voice dramas (if Kotoko did in fact eavesdrop on all the other prisoners' interrogations) or found within the timeline conversations. In their second trial interrogations, Yuno admits to being a sex worker and having an abortion, while Kazui laments the fact that he's lived his entire life as a liar and states that he should have kept lying for Hinako's sake. Shidou agrees with Es that his murders involved his work as a doctor and hints that pressuring families to donate the organs of their brain-dead loved ones wasn't the only murder he's done. I've kind of said it before when I said "Local man discovers empathy," but I think he pushed patients to undergo risky, new surgeries in hopes that it would treat their conditions, and it was only when his wife and two boys were in the hospital that he realized the terror those families felt when their loved ones went under the knife. Haruka admitted to killing things smaller than him to gain his mother's attention and his unhealthy dependence on approval from his "mother" figures is obvious in the second trial. Muu contradicts herself a lot when defending herself from what she perceives to be abuse and preens under the positive attention Haruka gives her. She does seem to think herself above approach like a queen would. With Es? I think it was Kazui who said it best back during the first trial: the only difference between Es and the prisoners are the roles assigned. Undermining their authority and implying they can't do their job is a surefire way to piss off Es. Why do I bring this up?

I think Kotoko may know less than we and Es do.

Mainly because it hasn’t really been explained how the song extraction device works. We know that it pulls memories from an individual’s subconscious and turns them into a musical number. We know that the in-universe explanation for the time gap between trial songs is that it needs to charge between uses. That’s stuff Jackalope told us back in the Welcome to Milgram video. From the voice dramas, we know the general procedure is that a prisoner is called to the interrogation room, Es arrives late as a power move and then interrogates the prisoner until the bell sounds and we can hear machines or something whirring and clanking in the background. Since it’s an audio, we don’t know what the interrogation room looks like before and after the bell tolls, but there seems to be an implication that the room changes and that the prisoners are belted into the chair. I’m not so sure if the chair is real but the first trial voice dramas have me an implication of the prisoners being restrained in some way.

If I had to guess, I would say that the round, bird cage like room we saw in Undercover and Deep Cover is the interrogation room. That would explain what the circular room on the map is (not the one with the numbered cells, the one opposite of that). Undercover implies that the song extraction device opens up to work, but we’re not told or shown how it pulls memories or how it depicts the music video. Es and the prisoner may very well be “asleep” while this process plays out mentally. Or it is projected somewhere within the interrogation room while the prisoner is “asleep” since none of them seem to remember what happens after the bell rings.

I have a thousand questions on how this device works. The only important one is how are the songs shown to Es, because if Kotoko knew exactly what some of the first trial Innocent prisoners had shown in their videos (namely, Haruka strangling his younger self and clearly bludgeoning something to death with a bloody rock, and Muu stabbing Rei), she most likely would have judged Es’s verdicts as faulty and attacked the prisoners based on how she views the crimes rather than relying on Es's verdict. I say this with confidence, because Kotoko has made it clear that her vigilante actives, both in Milgram and before, are a way for her to inflict punishment that others (namely the justice system) won’t dole out to the guilty. She has no problem with skirting the system to do that.

But, if the songs are only shown to Es and Es alone through some kind of mental link, then Kotoko is forced to take Es’s word on what they (and we, the audience) saw. Deep Cover made it clear that Es's refusal to condemn more prisoners is what ticked Kotoko off, since she sees mercy and compassion as weaknesses to be eliminated. Kotoko actually showed a remarkable amount of restraint when trying to sway Es back to her side. It wasn't until Es stood up to Kotoko that she lost her composure.

It also would partially explain why some say that Deep Cover is Kotoko’s musical version of a resume for the warden position. If there is stuff that Es knows that she isn’t privy to because of their warden position, then she needs to obtain either the warden status or an official deputy position to get that information to further influence how Es votes. If she is proving her worth to Es and Milgram, why wouldn’t her subconscious show her desire to be in control the way Es is?

[creativebrainrot]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

yOU CANNOT FUCKING FDROP "Just this once i think i'll try living for someone else again" RIGHT FUCKING AFTER IT'LL BE LONELY WITHOUT YOU FUSHIGURO YOU FUCKASS CAT IM GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

(also i understand the gojo fans like same i miss my boy choso but i do think it would- storywise- undermine everything fought for if gojo comes back in any form but yKKK akutami could surprise me im not completely against it just Hesitant i do also want my mans yuta to live bleas hes my babiestgirlie) oH MY GOD SCREAMINGGGGGGGGG

[syxnewt]

my parents want my little brother, who has had a fever no lower than 100 F for the past 2-3 days, to go to school tomorrow

[fvckednddistvrbed]

i ate a lot today, not as much as other days, but still im disappointed with myself and starting to feel sick. why cant i be good at restriction? god this makes me wanna sh so fucking bad

[necrobab3]

ugh I'm on my period. someone please shoot me in the head

[saturfied]

jeff satur at nineentertain awards 2024

[slippery-minghus]

hhhhhhh fuck i hate the waiting. i won't find out about this job thing until next week and aughhhhhhfjdkskah

nightmare coworker comes back from leave on monday too and i'm just so over her. if i don't get this job maybe i should go back to working in food service just so i can gtfo aughhhh

i just had two weeks of fucking peace and quiet at work and i'm not ready to go back. not ready to give that up. it reminded me how it feels to be normal at work. reminded me how much dealing with nightmare coworker makes me miserable. how stretched thin i get and how much harder it is to get my work done.

i gotta fucking get out of here

[superkirbylover]

Normal peppino: Oh, I-a really don't want to-a fight, I have a business to-a run!

Pony peppino:

KILL MAIM BURN

LMAO

to be fair though i think both of them are both of these. idealy they don't want to fight people because they have a business to run, but push come to shove, if their business is threatened they WILL kill for it

in this essay this will serve as the basis as for why pony peppino absolutely despises the flim flam brothers

[deeisace]

.

[transgaysex]

im back home from visiting my boyfriend nobody but him talk to me for a while ok ?

[thetimelordbatgirl]

"Riles, how about I do what you do, and you do what you do?"-the credits should have rolled at that point in Girl Meets Belief, because its a good message on religious belief's, but nooo, this episode wants to force belief's down people's throats so can't have that be the message.

[piningpercussionist]

(Not an rp ask)

What is your opinion on chau x kim? I'm not a shipper of it myself but I heard it was a proship since knives is 17 but also I saw she was 18 in the comic so I'm not sure where to stand on it honestly. But I'd like to hear your opinion about it !! Sorry if this is a bit of a random ask (ーー;

You're completely fine!! Do not even worry about it.

So, yeah- When Scott first meets Knives, and I'm not entirely sure how much time passes between then and when they start dating, it was *literally* her seventeenth birthday, as I am reminding myself reading back over these panels presently. And then at the start of book six, the first time we see (real, non-dream,) Knives, she has apparently been eighteen for a week!

Now, I'm going to preface with a little something before I go further into this: I am totally fine answering this ask and others like it I think! but, I will note, I do get like a (not fun) physical sensation in my chest- partly anxiety (lol) but also something else I think- thinking about them like 95% of the time- it's gotta be like. Handled The Right Way, if that makes sense. Let's get into it.

So, first off, I'm just gonna re: some of the stuff relative to this I've posted here before- both nonrp and rp, since I use RP to develop my read on Kim and shed some light on how I see things I guess!

These clips come from this ask (and reblog) here!

This rp ask here, which is simply too difficult for me to get in a good screenshot I feel, so I recommend just checking it and the tags for it out- I will share my Bonus Commentary reply though:

This ask as well! Tags less pressing, but still provide a little insight.

And this is probably a dumb inclusion if I really want to make a pseudonym to post fics under, but. I have posted my (very early) thoughts on the SPTO sparks scene to AO3 before, so- (and before going into this- I did remember that Julie and Gideon have that sparks scene after the fact!)

And here's the Barely Anything Lines hinting at the ship that I had in that fic that I used to justify that blurb, while we're here:

I think I've gone over my feelings a little bit in the discord as well, and there might even be more rp stuff relative to it, but I'm not going to go back and get any of that honestly- at least, not right now, or unless requested, since I don't really feel like it's necessary, if it does exist. This gives a pretty good glimpse in I'd say- especially that second to last one there.

So. Yeah.

Used to ship it; have expanded my horizons since then. I don't really want to knock it because like... for some people this is a legitimate life experience for them- one that might have even turned out well, miraculously. And there also a lot of minors in this fandom evidently, so like, any other baby gays out there just wanting to Project for a minute? I feel that. Sincerely I do. It's not the wisest choice but better to read fanfiction about it than go out and actually make out with a 23 year old, Gods forbid. (Genuinely felt sick thinking about that; fucking gross. Any minors out there: Please Make Good Choices. Look out for yourselves. Begging you. There are too many freaks in this world- I promise you whoever you're thinking of probably isn't the magical exception.)

But there are definitely things to consider about them that are very interesting to me, still, so like. I'm in this weird state of conflict; I don't know if it's just me being like "it happened, you can't escape it" or having been desensitized/some sort of Brainwashed by how many times I had to use Knives in the game to quick heal- maybe something else but I just don't feel like flaying myself open like that unprompted for just anyone- but like. Oh man.

Sorry, gathering/writing this that feeling like went away but came circling back for this last bit, it seems. Which makes sense I guess. I feel like I'm setting myself up for a Pyre right now eugh shfsgkjfhjg

I dunno. I'm not gonna lie and pretend like I know it to be some big formative ship for me in my early teen years, but it was kind of important in finally coming around to realizing how queer I was, I think. My memories of the time are fuzzy, but it would have been one of the things- there were likely larger ones, my current obsession could be recoloring my past here so I'm trying to acknowledge that.

But there is like. A dynamic that is posited by them that is also one I'm a really big sucker for. More so now than I was then, so I find myself grinding my teeth about that a fair bit at times.

I definitely still really like it as something unrequited no matter what I think; I like the idea of Knives having a really big crush on Kim, genuinely. I think it's cute and funny as hell for how uncomfortable it would make Kim, who's just trying so hard not to be a fucking creep while this ray of sunshine hangs off her- something she absolutely does not deserve (in her eyes.)

I'm obviously more partial to Kim resisting any advances made at her, but I can understand so, so badly why someone might be attracted to the idea of Knives managing to thaw some of Kim's frigidity with that. Ugh.

If they work for me, I think they'd have to work for me after Knives is gone at college for a bit. Kim would need to know Knives for longer than she knew her as a minor- and they'd have to be FRIENDS in that time, quite strictly. Kim would need to not feel (intensely, because frankly, she would unavoidably feel this way at least a little no matter what,) like she was a fucking groomer going into it, basically. I don't know what I think past that.

You know, I'll put my feelings like this: with the exception of a fic I saw recommended to someone that intrigued me, I have managed to resist reading any/many fics featuring them, despite it being a large majority of the wlw Kim fics that exist, and also kinda just Kim fics generally. It's kind of Insane, especially considering how much Kimona SCREAM at you from the pages of the comic itself- but I digress....

I've been working on this for like over an hour now I think so I really should cut myself off. I am like,, too hungry and mildly stoned to be rambling off about this maybe. If you want more concise/specific thoughts, I recommend prompting! I can try and channel the responses easier with a bit more direction, maybe?

...

actually another thing real quick- I like. Do not know that I could ever feel comfortable, truly, consuming content for them, not knowing if the OP has good intentions. I just Do Not trust people, largely, so that's just like. A little thing. Idk. "Death to the author" or whatever but I am still allowed to feel personally uncomfortable ya know! I don't want them taking my silent observation as like,, passive acceptance in the event that they were. Idk if that makes sense, I need to go eat already, I'm hitting post before i drag this out to TWO hours

[realasslesbian]

So this type of thing is a daily mf debacle in one of the Australian girls advice groups I'm in and literally there will always be dozens of comments being like 'you should have the kid uwu' and not any actual realistic advice like 'an abortion is gonna be a lot cheaper than raising this child, which I dunno how you're gonna do if you have no house, no job, no partner, etc. You really want to drag someone else into this shitty life you got? You want this kid to grow up in poverty with an absent father? That's presuming there's not something wrong with this kid already on account of all the drugs and smoking the baby daddy's been doing. But actually who cares about this man's opinion on whether you get an abortion or not, he ain't gonna be the one paying for this kid, that's gonna be me and every other tax payer who'll be funding this needless procreation, so maybe that's who you should be asking. And this tax payer says GET THE GODDAMN ABORTION FOR THE LOVE OF GOD'

[bloodyke]

family brought some bug into the house im gonna take a covid test tomorrow

[gothcatboygirl]

did my first shotgun tonight

[whimsyprinx]

currently failing to cope with the fact that none of my friends feel like My Friend