#just experience the simple joy of creating again

[bat-mom-writer]

Impulses

Bruce Wayne(Husband) X Reader(Wife)

Summery: you can be very quick to act on your impulse, usually being done with a kind heart. But can sometimes lead to you and some others being hurt.

Note: Something tells me Bruce wouldn't go to therapy, but this isn't real so...

Rate: Loving Bruce, the very small almost of angst

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"So, tell me Bruce, are you happily married?"

"Of course."

"Then why are you here?"

"Well," Bruce pauses, thinking over his words carefully, "it's not exactly that simple."

The therapist's office was quiet, the kind of silence that felt like it was holding its breath. Bruce Wayne sat in a chair that was a little too small for his broad shoulders, his eyes darting to the clock on the wall. It was a simple room, with a few plants scattered around and a faint scent of lavender in the air, but it was the last place he ever thought he'd be. He was a man who dealt with Gotham's problems from the shadows, not one who talked about his own in a well-lit space with a box of tissues within arm's reach.

"How so?" the therapist asked again, her voice gentle but firm, bringing Bruce back to the present.

He sighed. "Well, my wife… she's incredible. She's kind and she's the glue that holds our family together."

The therapist nodded, her expression neutral. "But?"

Bruce leaned back, rubbing his temples. "But she's… impulsive. She does things without considering the consequences, especially when it comes to the boys."

The therapist made a note in her pad. "Could you give me an example?"

Bruce sighed heavily, his mind racing with instances. "Once we went hiking, and she found a baby wolf, injured and alone. She insisted on bringing it back to the manor to care for it herself. Most of my sons thought it would be a great idea—until we realized it had a pack out there looking for it, and suddenly we had a bunch of very unhappy wolves on our backs."

The therapist looked up, raising an eyebrow. "I see. And how did that situation resolve?"

Bruce chuckled, a bit nervously. "Let's just say there were a lot of stitches involved. And I haven't heard anyone wanting to go camping again ever since."

The therapist's eyes widened, but she remained calm. "It seems she has a heart of gold, but maybe a bit of an overactive sense of adventure."

Bruce nodded. "Exactly. And it's not just with animals. She once tried to organize a surprise street carnival in the middle of Gotham because she thought the city needed more joy. You can imagine the chaos that ensued with all the traffic rerouting and permits she didn't bother to get."

The therapist's pen stopped mid-stroke. "Ah, so her intentions are good, but the execution could use some work."

Bruce nodded emphatically. "You have no idea. She's the love of my life, but sometimes I worry she's going to get us all into trouble. The boys look up to her, especially Dick and Damian."

The therapist leaned in slightly. "How do Dick and Damian react to her impulsive nature?"

"Dick tries to be the voice of reason, but he's young and still learning the ropes of being a responsible older brother. And Damian," Bruce sighed, "he's more like me—he's intrigued by the chaos she creates, but he's also the one who ends up getting hurt when things go awry."

The therapist nodded understandingly. "It's natural for children to look up to their parents, especially when they see the love and good intentions behind their actions. But it's also important for them to learn about boundaries and the potential consequences of impulsivity. How does your wife react when you bring this up with her?"

Bruce leaned forward, his expression a mix of affection and exasperation. "She's… well, she's stubborn. She sees the world as a place full of possibilities, and she wants to experience all of them. I get that, I do. But we can't live our lives on the edge like that, especially with the kind of enemies I've made over the years."

The therapist nodded, her gaze thoughtful. "It's a delicate balance, isn't it? Wanting to keep your family safe and also allowing them the freedom to live their lives fully. How have you been managing this?"

Bruce's smile grew a bit wistful. "Well, my wife is also the lively part of our lives. Without her, the manor would be just a fortress, not a home. She brings laughter and light to every room she enters. She's the one who convinced me to let Tim build a skateboard ramp in the garage, and even though it's a hazard to my cars, I can't help but smile when I hear them all out there, having fun."

The therapist nodded, understanding the complexity of the situation. "It sounds like you appreciate her spirit, but it's important to establish boundaries to ensure everyone's safety. Have you tried discussing the potential dangers with her?"

Bruce leaned back, his eyes drifting to the floor. "I've tried," he admitted. "But she's… she's like a tornado of love and enthusiasm. It's hard to say no to her."

The therapist nodded, her expression understanding. "It's clear you care deeply for her and the boys. Perhaps it's time to find a way to channel that enthusiasm into safer outlets."

"I know," Bruce said, running a hand through his hair. "But she's so… so alive. It's like trying to cage a butterfly."

The therapist nodded. "It's not about caging her, Bruce. It's about guiding her. Teaching her and the boys to weigh risks and rewards. To channel their energy into something positive without endangering themselves or others."

Bruce sat in silence, contemplating her words. He knew she was right, but it was easier said than done when it came to his vibrant wife. Her zest for life was both infectious and overwhelming at times. He thought back to the street carnival she had organized. The look of joy on the citizens' faces as they played games and ate cotton candy was something he hadn't seen in Gotham in a long time.

"There not all bad," he murmured, a small smile playing on his lips. "Her impulses have led to some amazing moments, too."

"Like what?" the therapist prompted, her curiosity piqued.

Bruce's smile grew as he recalled a recent incident. "Last week, she found out about a fundraising event for an underfunded children's hospital. Without asking, she decided to host a masquerade ball at the manor. She convinced Alfred to help, and together they transformed the place into a fairy tale. The kids had the time of their lives, and we ended up raising a fortune for those kids."

The therapist returned his smile. "That does sound wonderful. It seems her spontaneity has its benefits."

Bruce nodded. "It does. But it's also a double-edged sword. I want to support her, but I also need to keep everyone safe."

The therapist leaned back in her chair. "Communication is key, Bruce. It's about expressing your concerns without squashing her spirit. Have you tried talking to her about how her impulsiveness affects you?"

Bruce sighed, his eyes reflecting the weight of his words. "I've tried, but she takes it personally. She thinks I'm trying to control her."

The therapist nodded, her expression empathetic. "It's a common misconception. Setting boundaries isn't about control; it's about care and safety. Have you framed it that way?"

Bruce furrowed his brow. "I'm not sure. I've usually approached it from the perspective of the danger it could pose to the boys."

"It's important to express your feelings," the therapist said. "Tell her how her actions affect you and why you worry. It might help her understand your perspective better."

Bruce nodded slowly, considering her advice. It was true; he hadn't shared his own fears with her, only the potential risks to the boys. Perhaps that was where he was going wrong.

"Thank you, doctor," he said, rising from his chair. "I'll think about what you've said."

The therapist stood and offered a warm smile. "Remember, Bruce, it's about balance. And sometimes, that means taking a risk to find it."

Bruce nodded, her words echoing in his mind as he left the office and stepped into the Gotham night. The city was alive with the pulse of its inhabitants, a stark contrast to the calmness he'd just left behind. His thoughts were racing, trying to find a way to bridge the gap between his need for security and his wife's boundless spirit.

As he drove back to Wayne Manor, the grandeur of the estate came into view, the gothic architecture a stark contrast to the chaos of the city beyond its gates. The manor was more than just a home; it was a bastion of hope in a city that desperately needed it. The lights were on in the windows, a warm glow that promised sanctuary from the cold outside.

When he walked in, the smell of freshly baked cookies filled the air. You was in the kitchen, humming to yourself as you pulled a tray out of the oven. You turned to him, your face lighting up with a smile that never failed to melt his heart. "Hi, honey! How was your day?"

Bruce took a deep breath, steeling himself for the conversation he knew he had to have. "It was… interesting," he said, trying to keep his tone light. "How about yours?"

"Oh, you know," you replied with a shrug, placing the cookies on a rack to cool. "Just the usual—keeping the boys out of trouble, planning the next big surprise for them." you winked at him, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

Bruce felt a twinge of both fondness and dread. He knew that look all too well. It was the look you got when she had another harebrained scheme up your sleeve. He walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into an embrace. "How about we talk about these surprises together from now on?"

You tilted your head back, your smile fading a bit. "What do you mean?"

Bruce took a deep breath. "I mean, I know you love surprising the boys, and I love that about you. But sometimes, your surprises have… unintended consequences. I want to be there to support you, but I also need to make sure everyone is safe."

You leaned back, looking up at him with a slightly defensive expression. "Not all of my surprises turn out bad," you said, your voice a bit softer than before.

Bruce felt his heart squeeze at the sight of you, flour smudged on your cheek and apron, looking so earnest. He gave a tight smile, trying to ease the tension. But his face was screaming, "Are you sure?"

You took a step back, "Okay, okay, maybe most of them," you conceded. "But the good ones make up for it, right?"

Bruce sighed, his arms dropping to his sides. "They do," he agreed. "But it's the potential for danger that I can't ignore. And not just for the boys, but for you too."

You rolled your eyes, brushing off the flour on your apron. "Me? I'm fine. I can handle myself."

Bruce's grip on your shoulders tightened slightly. "You know what I mean," he said, his voice serious. "How many times have you ended up in the hospital because of one of your… adventures?"

You winced, remembering the last time you had tried to rescue a cat stuck in a tree, only to end up with a broken arm and a bruised ego. "Okay, okay," you repeated, holding up your hands in surrender. "I get it. I can be a bit… much."

Bruce's expression softened, his eyes searching yours. "You're not 'much', you're amazing. I just don't want to lose you."

You took a deep breath, the weight of his words settling in. "I know," you said, your voice small. "But what about you? You're not much different, Bruce. Maybe even worse. You go out every night as Batman, risking your life."

He stepped back, his expression unreadable. "That's different," he said firmly. "That's for the city."

"Is it?" you asked, looking up at him with a hint of challenge in your eyes. "Or is it because you've convinced yourself that it's your duty? That you're the only one who can do it?"

Bruce's jaw tightened at your question. It was a fair point, one he'd wrestled with in the quiet moments of his life. He knew that his crusade as Batman was driven by his own fears and the need to keep the city that had taken his parents safe. But he also knew that the stakes were higher for him than they were for you.

"I've been trained for that," he said finally. "You… you have the biggest heart in the world, but sometimes you don't think about the risks."

You nodded, looking down at the cookies cooling on the rack. "I know," you murmured. "But it's just so hard to resist when I see something that could bring joy to people, especially the boys."

Bruce stepped closer, placing a gentle hand on your cheek. "I know your heart's in the right place," he said. "But we can't keep playing Russian roulette with our lives, not when we have so much to lose. I don't want to lose you. Or see you get hurt. I'm just asking, please, consider the risks before you act. And come to me, talk to me, let's find a way to make this work."

You searched his eyes, the gravity of his words sinking in. You knew he wasn't trying to stifle you; he was just worried. "Okay," you whispered, leaning into his touch. "I'll try."

Bruce's expression relaxed a bit, his thumb brushing against your cheek. "Thank you," he said softly. "Now, how about we sit down and talk about what's been on your mind? Maybe we can come up with some ideas together."

You nodded, swiping a strand of hair from your forehead. "Alright, I'll finish up on the cookies and then we can talk. Until then, want to help? Just to make sure I don't hurt myself?"

Bruce couldn't help but chuckle at your attempt to lighten the mood. "Sure," he said, taking the spatula from your hand. "Let's do this together."

As you both worked side by side in the kitchen, the tension began to ease. You chatted about the different flavors of cookies and which ones the boys would like best, while Bruce carefully placed the finished ones on a plate. The rhythm of your conversation was soothing, and it reminded him of the first time he had met you—how your laugh had filled a room and made him feel alive again.

[pestercide]

Sudden urge to drop off the face of the Earth (have zero online presence) and just focus on my art and myself then suddenly come back like nothin happened but now my art looks super different and I'm prolly mentally better too

[ghostlyferrettarot]

★Pick a Picture:🧡🫂Your next best friend🫂🧡

•Pile 1 •Pile 2 •Pile 3

❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️

✨️Paid Services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings) Open!

🐯If you like my work you can support me through Ko-fi. Thank you!🐯

🧡Masterlist🧡

🐯Pile 1: The Sun, Ace of Wands and 8 of Pentacles.

This person is truly charming and caring, and I have a feeling that they will be your antithesis in many ways, which will make you two complement each other incredibly well. The connection between you two could come about in a totally unexpected way; perhaps you'll find yourself in a situation that forces you to spend time together, which could lead to a strong and long-lasting friendship. This person's loyalty will be unwavering and their authenticity will shine through in every interaction you have. Their presence in your life will bring a dose of optimism and kindness that will allow you to appreciate the beauty in simple things, especially if you've had difficult experiences with friends in the past. Their way of being will remind you that not everything is complicated and that there is light even in dark times.

This person is undoubtedly unique and will become a friend for life. The connection you develop will be special, full of meaningful moments and shared laughter. As you get to know each other, you'll find that their sweetness and outlook on life will inspire you to open up more and trust in friendships again, creating a bond that will last over time.

🐯Song:

🦊Pile 2: The Star, 5 of Wands and Queen of Swords.

This person is really a lot of fun. I have a feeling that you'll find yourselves in a place where you can enjoy and relax, like a nightclub, where the music and atmosphere allow you to let go and put your worries aside. It's the kind of situation where you feel free to be yourself and enjoy yourself to the fullest.

When you're together, you become the center of attention, as if you were the life of the party. People around you notice the joy you have, and everyone wants to be around you to share that positive energy. It's as if your laughter and good humor are special and thay cant help but feel drawn to you.

The connection between you is so strong that you seem inseparable, almost as if you were family. There is a special chemistry in the air, an authentic and sincere energy that reflects the deep relationship and loyalty that they share. It is truly beautiful to see how they support you and how their friendship has become an unbreakable bond with you.

🦊Song:

🦁Pile 3: Knight of Pentacles, 9 of Cups, and The Hermit.

This person tends to be quite serious in their way of being, but you will have the ability to transform their way of seeing things. The chemistry between you will be remarkable, and although some may think that you are a peculiar duo, there is actually a deep and sincere friendship that unites you. This special connection will allow you to enjoy unique and fun moments, creating memories that you will treasure forever.

As you spend time together, you will both experience significant personal growth. The relationship you develop will be so strong that you could even embark on a joint project that will bring you great benefits. The trust and understanding you have towards each other will allow you to face challenges and take advantage of opportunities, turning your ideas into something tangible and successful.

What they have goes beyond a simple friendship; it's a family. You consider each other family and know each other so well that they can anticipate each other's thoughts with just a glance. This connection is powerful and unique, and will allow them to support each other every step of the way, further strengthening their bond and leading them to achieve new goals together.

🦁Song:

🧡Thanks for reading and tell me if it resonated🧡

[floweycidal]

i keep thinking about how flowey had to construct the very concept of cruelty from the ground up.

not from watching anyone else, not by osmosis, but by cobbling it together himself in the garden where he woke up. alone.

this was a child who fell asleep to his mother's stories, who knew every inflection of his father's laugh. who spent endless golden afternoons with his sibling, both of them doubled over with giggles as they filmed their silly videos, messing up on purpose just to hear each other laugh. again. and again. and again.

so warm. so safe. where the gravest offense imaginable was maybe tracking mud on the carpet.

the worst fear, disappointing people who would love you anyway.

where could he even begin?

save. say these words that once meant comfort, but twist them just so. watch their eyes dim as something inside them breaks. load.

save. make a promise—you remember those, how snug they once made you feel—then shatter it. document exactly how hope crumbles. load.

save. try another combination. another betrayal. watch what splinters differently this time. load.

the world's loneliest science experiment.

look at the cruelty he creates, it's all so personal, specific. so devastatingly asriel.

watch how often he comes back to the idea of being replaced. of being forgotten. how he taunts you with the possibility that none of your relationships matter, that everyone will move on without you. that none of your choices mean anything in the end.

your fault. your responsibility.

if only he you hadn't made anyone love him you. If only he you hadn't loved them back.

of course he'd fixate on all that. how could he not? his mother, who used to speak his name like it was sacred, those tender words she reserved for him—for THEM—are now handed out indiscriminately, like candy to anyone who asks.

all he can do is take note: see how easily love transfers? see how simple it is to fade away?

so, he sneers. taunts you with the thought that it's all dust. you're just another passing face in the crowd. nothing lasts. nothing is worth the weight of caring. but even as he pushes that narrative, as his voice drips with contempt, he is still out there. in the ruins. checking on her.

observing from a distance, like maybe if he watches long enough, his past will solidify into something he can hold again.

flowey develops his cruelty like he's trying to solve an equation. if this word plus this action equals pain, then surely there must be some formula that yields not caring anymore.

if he'd just gotten it right. if he'd just kept everyone at a distance. if he could just be flowey. save. load. the answer has to be here somewhere.

but how do you quantify the sting of hearing her say "my child" to someone else? how do you account for the absence left in the places where joy once thrived? how do you document, in clinical terms, why you keep watching over people you swear don't matter anymore?

you don't devote yourself to perfecting devastation unless you remember, with searing clarity, what it felt like to be whole.

you don't give so much of yourself mastering the art of ridiculing attachment unless you're terrified of how much you still have left to give.

unless every attempt to prove love meaningless just confirms how much meaning it still has for you.

...point IS! flowey did an interesting job creating his own idea of a bully. it's all pathological. so crudely stemmed from his own sorrows and fears. he's created his own textbook definition of meanness...but then every chapter's just him screaming in a mirror.

[bloomzone]

GLOW UP DIARY#6 : ROMANTICIZING YOUR LIFE

"Another day ahead, don't wanna leave the bed you're looking at the mirror, see the tears covered in redI know that you've been cold this whole time but now I'm here to make it end"

-straykids (track : youtiful)

hi blossoms it's been so long since I posted. . . 🥹 miss you... Anyway I want to inform that I opened my study motivation/daily life account follow me there if u want ! ( @bloom-diary )

’-Finding Beauty in the Ordinary

© bloomzone

🍒: Boring days can feel endless and uninspiring, but they hold the potential for something special. By shifting your perspective, you can uncover the magic hidden in the mundane. Embrace the challenge of transforming those dull moments into opportunities for joy and creativity. Together, we'll explore simple ways to romanticize your daily life, turning the ordinary into the extraordinary. Remember, even the most uneventful days can become cherished memories with the right mindset. Let's make every day a little more magical!

#6.HOW TO ROMANTICIZING EVERYDAY LIFE

u can take your journey of romanticizing life to the next level embracing meaningful practices that can transform your everyday experiences into moments of joy and inspiration(remember that no matter how life get bad u can start again:) ). Start by creating rituals that bring calm and intention to your daily routine—whether it’s a peaceful morning routine or a relaxing evening wind-down. Allow yourself to explore new places and embark on mini-adventures to break free from routine and discover the beauty around you. Connect with your creativity through personal projects and let your imagination flourish. Remember, nourishing your well-being with mindful eating and enjoyable activities can elevate your mood and bring satisfaction. Embrace the changing seasons by celebrating them with special activities and fresh décor. Build a cozy personal sanctuary where you can reflect and recharge, and deepen your connections with others through meaningful gatherings. Practice gratitude regularly, and seek out beauty in both the big and small moments of life. Embrace these practices with an open heart, knowing that each effort you make will enrich your life and help you find joy in the ordinary.

FIND BEAUTY IN THE SMALL THINGS :

Romanticizing life involves finding beauty and joy in the everyday moments. Here’s a guide to help you embrace this mindset:

# 1.Slow Down and Be Present

- Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness by paying attention to the present moment without judgment.

- Savor Daily Routines:Turn mundane tasks into rituals. For example, enjoy making your morning coffee or tea,make ur bed in the morning..

# 2.Create a Cozy Atmosphere

- Decorate Your Space: Add personal touches to your living space, like lights, plants, or cozy blankets it will give u motivation to have a productive day

- Ambient Lighting: Use candles or soft lighting to create a warm and inviting environment

# 3.Indulge in Simple Pleasures

- Nature Walks: Take walks in nature, paying attention to the sights, sounds, and smells.

- Reading: Find a cozy spot to read books that inspire and transport you.

- Enjoy a Homemade Dessert: Bake cookies, brownies, or a cake and savor each bite try new recipes

# 4.Cultivate a Sense of Wonder

- Explore: Visit new places, even if they are in your local area.

- Learn: Pick up a new hobby or skill that excites you new languages....

# 5.Embrace Your Senses

- Music: Create playlists that uplift or calm you.

- Creating a Sensory Jar: Fill a jar with items like sea shells, dried flowers, or colored sand for a visual and tactile experience or just memories from break days..

# 6.Practice Gratitude

- Journaling: Keep a gratitude journal to note down things you’re thankful for each day.

- Appreciation: Take time to appreciate the little things, like a beautiful sunset or a delicious meal.

# 7. Dress for Joy

- Wear What You Love: Dress in clothes that make you feel good, even if you’re not going anywhere special. (Ikr wasting a good outfit in a boring day is suck 😔)

- Accessorize: Use accessories that add a touch of elegance or fun to your outfits.

#8. Nurture Relationships

- Quality Time: Spend meaningful time with friends and family.

- Thoughtful Gestures: Show appreciation through small, thoughtful gestures.

#9. Celebrate Yourself

- Self-Care: Regularly engage in self-care activities that rejuvenate you.

- Achievements: Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small.

# 10. Capture Memories

- Photography: Take photos of moments that make you happy.

- Scrapbooking: Create a scrapbook or digital album to look back on fond memories.

─ㅤ⊹ㅤ𓈒 May this guide inspire you to see the beauty in your daily life and cherish every moment.

© bloomzone

[bellesdreamyprofile]

a baby miracle: part 3

You were officially due in a week. This was the last day where you and Benny were being generous hosts to your friends from the club as the doctors advised you not to exaggerate anything. To be fair, even instructing Benny how to bake the perfect dessert did a number on you, so you didn’t mind resting.

“Anyhow, if you need more clothes I got some, honey. Although just girls stuff.”, Betty laughed and grasped her juice glass, taking a sip from it. You nodded and lovingly patted her arm. “Do you guys know the gender yet?”

“Thank you, Betty.”, you said. “And no, we don’t. We thought to keep it as a surprise.”, you smiled and glanced out of the window, catching a glimpse of Johnny showing his car to Benny. “Also thank you for the car. I don’t think I would make it to the hospital on the motorcycle.”, you laughed and turned her way again.

She just shook her head. “Ain’t nothing to thank us for, darling. You guys are our family.”, Betty’s sincere words got to your heart, to the point were lucid tears were forming in your eyes. She took notice and smiled lovingly at you, grasping your hand.

“I remember my first pregnancy…”, Betty smiled at the memory and twirled her drink in the glass. You couldn’t help but smile at the story she was about to tell, your hands immediately found your baby bump.

“I was doin´ okay… I really wanted this baby and since Johnny and I were married, I assumed we were on the same page.”, your smile slowly faded away from your lips as the story started sounding a little too familiar to your own. “He left. Said he couldn’t do it— but then he came back to me— back to us.”

Silence followed up as you swallowed thickly, unsure whether or not to share your personal experience. “Benny wanted to leave too…”, you looked down, unable to meet her piercing gaze. “I convinced him to stay and he did… Just weeks ago we bought a little denim jacket for our little one.”, you chuckled and wiped away one stray tear.

“I’m scared, Betty.”, you revealed to her. “He’s been so perfect. But I’m afraid… I’m afraid that once the baby comes—“, you shook your head and lowered your gaze as a sob escaped your lips. Betty’s eyes widened in surprise.

“No, no, no, honey. It’s gonna be all good.”, she wrapped an arm around you and mentally cursed herself for bringing up that kind of story in your kind of state. “I just wanted to tell ya… Because look at Johnny with our girls. He’s an amazing father and you won’t have to worry about Benny, Y/N.”

You looked up and sniffled. “You think so?”

Betty smiled lovingly at you. “I know so.”, her smile widened as she suddenly remembered an event that occurred a week ago. “You know, last week someone made a huge deal about his wife being pregnant.”, she wiggled her eyebrows at you.

“My Benny?”, you almost laughed at the scenario you created in your head. “What’d he say?”

“Well, you know me. I was smokin’ and chattin’ away when I heard glass breakin’ and shit.”, she explained, making you nod. “You know the usual things. But there was yelling too and it was Benny and some guy.”, Betty continued and glanced over her shoulder.

“Anyhow, in a nutshell, this guy was saying things about you and this little bundle of joy over here—“, she pointed at your bump. “And Benny gave him a lesson or two about messing with his family.”, the glint in her eyes made you believe there was more to her story, but for your sake she kept it short and simple.

You blinked at her and tapped your bump, almost in desperate need of a kick from your little baby. “That explains the bruises on his arm.”, you said absentmindedly.

Betty smiled at you lovingly as you had yet to realize the point she was trying to make. “He loves you, honey. The both of you. There will be disappointments along the way - for this ain’t no easy men to deal with. But the outcome at the end will be sweeter than you think.”

“You even got the license for this, man?”, Benny blew out the smoke from his cigarette and raised his eyebrows at Johnny. The older man laughed and shook his head, lighting his own cigarette. “I’m kidding.”

Benny leaned against the car and looked straight ahead, catching a glimpse of your smile from the window. His lips twitched at the way your dimples showed and your nose scrunched. He sighed and looked down.

“You’re overthinking it.”, he wordlessly turned his head to Johnny, waiting for him to elaborate.

“I ain’t thinking at all.”, Benny remarked and brought the cigarette to his lips. Johnny shook his head and moved to lean against his friend’s motorcycle.

“The day Betty told me she was pregnant, I ran away.”, Benny looked up at his words, feeling the familiar burning feeling in his chest. “I didn’t come back until three months later.”, his jaw clenched at the memory and kicked the cigarette butt away.

“I don’t wanna ask ya nothing, man. I don’t know what you went through with your Y/N, but let me tell ya something.”, Benny looked away again and swallowed thickly. “It’s gonna be alright. Everything is gonna turn out just fine.”

Benny shook his head at his words, keeping his gaze down. “I’m gonna be… A terrible father.”

Johnny’s brows furrowed as he grabbed another cigarette. “You? A terrible father? C’mon man.”

But his head kept shaking in disagreement. “I can’t provide for myself. I have no idea how I’ve provided for Y/N for this long. But for a kid? Someone that looks up to you?”, he grabbed another cigarette and glanced at his motorcycle. “I can’t.”

Johnny looked at him and all he could see was a broken man. Shoulders slung down, a wandering gaze and a frown on his lips. “You can. It’s done. I’ll tell ya what you can’t do right now, Benny.”, Johnny moved away from the motorcycle and walked closer to his friend. “You can’t leave her or the kid. So what? You don’t think I fuck up every now and then? It’s in the job description. It’s natural.”

Benny sighed and moved off the car. “You don’t understand nothing.”

“There ain’t nobody that understands this better than I do.”, Johnny knew what was going on in that messy head of his, which was why he was so keen on showing Benny the way. He didn’t want him to make the same mistake he did.

Benny pulled out the car keys he was given from Johnny and handed them back to him. “Give ‘em to Y/N. I gotta go. Clear my head.”, the older man grabbed the keys and wordlessly watched him take off on his motorcycle.

You usually weren’t too worried when Benny disappeared for half a day, but since the talk with Betty about all of your concerns, now you didn’t feel all too relaxed.

The bed was cold and the baby had been kicking more than usual - almost as if to tell you that it was time. Right on time you felt a sharp pain in your abdomen, making you wince and grasp your baby bump in comfort.

“Ow, not now. Please not now.”, your voice was a little whisper above the occasional roaring motors from the cars outside. You slowly moved to sit up against the headboard and took a deep breath.

Benny hadn’t come home yet and the car was still parked outside. Could it be that he was gone for good? No. Not your Benny, no. Right?

Deciding to finally stand up and distract yourself, you passed by the now fully equipped nursery and smiled at the sight of teddy bears and colourful little clothes. Your baby was going to be a pretty little baby.

But the pain made you snap from the mental film you had created for yourself. You still made it downstairs with a dead grip on the railing. Sitting on the couch in front of the tv, you prayed for Benny to show up at the door at any moment. Whatever was happening to your body right now wasn’t supposed to be happening for a week.

“Alrighty baby. Hang in there.”, you murmured and reached over for the remote to turn on the tv. It was two in the morning, so you didn’t really have high hopes for any entertaining shows - just anything to make you forget about the pain.

One hour in and the shitty show had just finished and still no sight of your husband. The car keys, that Betty and Johnny had so kindly given to you, were calling your name as the pain increased.

Letting out another puff of breath, you grabbed the hospital bag you had prepared weeks prior and clumsily grabbed the car keys from the bowl.

Tears were streaming down your face as you adjusted the seat for yourself, pulling it closer to the steering wheel. Still no sight of Benny. You backed off the driveway and abruptly stopped as another contraction shook your body.

Your forehead met the steering wheel, the pain you were in making it impossible to keep calm. But you couldn’t give birth in the car. No, no, no. You had to make it to the hospital for the baby - with or without Benny.

With a heavy heart and abundant strength, you finally drove to the hospital, occasionally speeding or abruptly hitting the brakes as another contraction came through.

You hastily parked in the lot and looked at the hospital lights, sighing as more pain took over. Your eyes moved from the baby bag to your bump. How could you do this on your own? How?

“I can do this.”, you said shakily and brushed the tears off your face. “I’m strong and—“, you winced at another contraction. “I can do this.”

You let out a deep breath and got out of the car, taking the baby bag from the passenger seat. Wobbling like a little duck, you made your way to the reception, the woman’s eyes widened at the sight of your distressed self.

“Hi, I’m Y/N Cross and I’m very—“, you stopped, squeezing your eyes shut at the pain. “I’m very pregnant.”

The woman walked around the table and grasped the wheelchair, moving it towards you. “Please, take a seat. You’ll be seeing a doctor in just few moments.”

They made you change into the ugliest hospital gown you had ever seen. Your eyes darting to the door even when the doctors said it was now safe to push.

You still had the audacity to shake your head in protest. “I-I can’t. Not without my husband.”, you cried and the doctors exchanged worried glances.

A nurse approached you and gently put her hand on yours. You looked up and noticed a kind smile framing her face. “You can do this. If there’s anyone who can do this, it’s you.”

You shook your head and let out a scream at the pain. “I can’t without my Benny— Please call my Benny.”, your sobs filled the room and your head shook once more. But then there was the reminder from earlier. Do it for the baby.

I’m doing this for the baby.

When Benny came home at six a.m., something felt off. The lights were off and the car was gone from the driveway. Brows furrowed in confusion as he opened the door - it was unlocked.

No sights of robbery, just a television playing a shitty show and your nightgown on the couch.

Benny walked upstairs and felt his heart in his throat at the sight of your now empy bed.

Before he could think about any possible scenarios, the phone started ringing from downstairs. He didn’t waste any moment to pick it up.

“Hello?”

“Where the fuck were you, man?”, the unmistakable voice was Johnny’s.

“What the hell do you want?”, Benny couldn’t stand a lecture so early on, especially since he didn’t know what to do at your missing presence.

He heard Johnny sigh. “It’s a girl.”

Benny’s throat went dry. “What?”

“Y/N gave birth. It’s a girl.”

A/N: currently on vacation! will edit this once I’m back with full on wifi - hope you enjoyed xx

MASTERLIST PART 4

[simpcityy]

My Little Spawn Pt.1 (Dadstarion X Child!Reader)

Summary: Astarion was finally free from Cazador after being kidnapped by a mindflayer but he was stuck with one annoying task, you.

Disclaimer: I do not own Baldur's Gate 3 or any of its characters.

Word Count: 2.1K

Warnings: Use of (Y/N), Cazador, language, spoilers for those who haven't gone far in the game....Uhhh...I think that is all.

Everything was dark and blurry in his eyes. All he remembers was stalking in the shadows looking for his next prey and suddenly he was kidnapped. He felt mixed emotions, fear but importantly joy, he was finally away from Cazador. It would be like he suddenly disappeared in thin air and Cazador will need him no more. Until he was stuck with another burden, You. “Would you keep quiet, dammit!?” He whispered rather loudly. You stopped shifting around the tall grass and peaked out of it. “I’m sorry” You whispered before going back to hiding. He looked over seeing two people walking by, “Perfect” He mutters and gets ready to put on his performance.  

  After almost getting incinerated, you and Astarion have found a group and camp for the remainder of the period till the little wiggly worm is out of your mind but of course, you wouldn’t comprehend, for you were so young. 

“Who’s the little adorable bugger?” Gale smiles letting you try to read the books he has found so far. “For the record this annoying little sp-human is not mine, they just seem to be attached to me.” Astarion watches you trying to pronounce the big words only to butcher them. “But it’s getting rather late and I hate to deal with a cranky annoying child tomorrow.” He picked you up keeping his arms outstretched and walked to his tent. Once everyone was out of earshot, he squats at your height. “Listen here, you must not tell anyone what we are understood?” His red eyes look down at your innocent (E/C) ones. “But why not?” You sat on top of the pillow looking up at Astarion seeing him take a deep breath in. Of course, Astarion knows he has to make it simple. “Because we are playing a game” He grins “ We are all hiding our identity. You and I are a team and the rest are a team. Whoever is the first one to discover their real identity, is the sore loser.” He gives a smile sitting down next to you. You pouted, your cheeks puffed up “We will win, okay! I won’t tell.” You lean back before yawning “ If they ask what do I say?” You cute little doe eyes look at him tiredly. “Hmm…we are just normal elves got it?” He looks away in deep thought, “it’s for the best for now” He mutters before leaning back “ You know for a being the youngest Spawn he created…you still need rest like a human, you are such an odd little creature” He gently plays with the ends of your hair “ Why did he even turn you?” He whispers as you slowly slip into sleep. “What use does he even have for you?” He kept asking himself all the questions ever since you were part of the “Family” 

You were the youngest spawn Cazador has ever gotten. You were only 5 soon turning 6. Astarion was first shocked to see Cazador holding you in his arms when he came back from bringing a pretty prey for his master. He never dared question, he kept all his unanswered questions to himself. Astarion felt anger towards you both. Why was Cazador more tender with you, not treating you like he does to his other spawns. Why did you get the special treatment? He was mostly angry towards Cazador as always, why did he turn you, you didn’t even reach your half way milestone of your life. You were going to stay that age and size forever.  He has been treated like shit for 200 years but you, you would never experience the things a child should be, the things teenerages and young adults go through. Once again Cazador has robbed you of your life just how Astarion was robbed of his.

Morning rolled by, You picked up a little flower near Gale’s tent, “Astarion! Look what I found!” You ran up to him as he was getting ready to set foot on finding a healer with the others. “What is it this time?” He mutters looking up before seeing a flower being gently shoved to his face. “A flower.” You smile waiting for him to take it. “ A flower…you called my attention for a flower…this is why I don’t work with little annoying monsters.” He sighs already feeling annoyed from the lack of blood. “I’m sorry…” You whisper looking down, putting the flower away from his face, small tears forming in your doe eyes. He stops putting things into his bag and sighs “ Why must you be such a crybaby” He sits down pulling your tiny form on his lap, taking the flower. “Wow, thank you. I feel the luckiest person to get a flower from you.” He says in a bored voice looking at you. You sniff and rub your eyes, “You mean it?” The tears no longer present in your eyes. He looks at you unamused. “Yes, now shoo, I have to pack. Go bother Gale, Shadowheart or even Tav but not me got it?” He makes you get off his lap before freezing feeling you give him a light peck on his cheek “Okay! I’ll collect more flowers for the others!” You giggle before running off.  He placed a hand over his cheek and watched the direction you left. “What an odd little spawn.” He whispers before continuing to pack. 

  You hummed a tune as you collected more flowers near Gale’s camp where Gale was sitting on the pillow, reading a book. He looks up hearing you hum. “Say (Y/n), that tune you must be from the upper city aren’t you?” He smiles placing the book down as your little feet shuffle over to him. “Mmhm! Papa would always sing me this lullaby at night!” You grin “It’s my favorite and he always wants me to sing! He says I’m his little singing bird!” Placing the flowers down, you sat on the ground in front of gale. Thinking back to what Astarion said last night, remembering to not give away too much information. “Judging by your clothes, I bet your father is a rather important man?” He smiles rubbing down those stubborn baby hairs that lift up from your hair. You only nodded “Papa is the best! I miss him and I want to go home…” You look around the wilderness that you and Astarion crashed in. “I want him to hold me close…I always dream of those monsters…and the little wormy” Whimpering you scoot into Gale’s arms. “I don’t want them to come back!” You tear up, “I want papa to hold me but he’s not here!” You wail. Gale quickly panics “Oh…crying child…what to do…wish Tara was here…” He mutters before rubbing your back “Hey now, you can always come to me, Shadowheart and even Tav if you ever have a nightmare. How about this, before you go to bed, I will tell you a story so you can dream of that story rather than the scary monsters. Trust me, I have read so many books, I know them by heart.” He grins as you finally stopped the water works. “Which is why he’s a walking library in this case.” Shadowheart smiles walking over “Now, we should get going, the closer we find a healer, the faster you can go to your papa” She smiles leaning to your height. “Really!” You smiled, your eyes widened at the thought of seeing your father soon. “Let’s go!” Grabbing the flowers, you ran to Astarion to share the news. 

“Astarion!”

“What now!?” 

Walking to find a healer seems like eternity to you, “I wanna rest!” You whined to Astarion tugging at his shirt. “Then complained to Tav, they are leading the damn group, not me.” He sighs, breathing in heavily to compose himself from lashing out. “Up! Up!” You lifted your arms. “The hell I won’t!” He walks faster only for you to follow him whining even more. The rest of the small group look over watching the two of you, seeing you bothering Astarion even more. “Is it me or do these two know each other very much?” Shadowheart watches you keep tugging on his shirt. “Yet he says he doesn’t know (Y/N), that they only tagged along with him.” Gale crossed his arms. Tav smiles “I don’t know, (Y/n) looks nothing like Astarion so I doubt they are related and (Y/N) always mentions a papa.” Shadowheart and Gale nodded. “What in the nine hells! Where did you go!?” Astarion looks around for you as you stop tugging on his shirt a while ago. “Where did they go?” Tav walks back to the pale elf. “ I don’t know, the moment they were annoying the hell out of me! Next thing I know, they are go- wait…” He smells it, blood. You must have run off to the smell. “ I…um…heard them, this way” He quickly follows the scent with the rest following. 

You carefully walked down the ladder, the smell of blood getting stronger. Turning around a corner, you are met with a woman with red skin, burning and importantly with a broken horn. Slowly walking over to the tiefling, you look up at her “Are you okay?” You meekly whisper seeing how tall she was according to your height. She looks up hearing the childish voice, “Hells, what is a child doing all alone?” She looks at you shocked before feeling the tadpoles connect. “Fuck” Karlach whispers holding her head “You were also in that ship…” She whispers before calming herself down and kneels down to make it seem less intimidating to you. “Hey there little soldier,  What are you doing all alone?” She smiles as you slowly take small steps towards her. “I…you’re hurt…are you okay?” You go to place your small hand on her but she backs away quickly. “Careful there, I’m not like any other tiefling, I can burn you.” She smiles “I'm Karlach, what’s your name, little soldier?” She chuckles admiring your little face as you try to say her name slowly. “Car…Ka…la…Karlach.” You finally get it right, before giving her your name, someone else beat you to it. 

“(Y/N)!?” Tav runs over, crossing the log and quickly pulls you back from Karlach, putting you behind. “Get away from them” Tav frowns weapons out. “Are you okay?” Shadowheart checks you over for any injuries as Gale also checked along with her. Astarion catches up and lets out a small sigh seeing you alive and safe. “What in the sweet hells were you thinking running off like that?! A goblin could’ve gotten you or a wild animal?!” He looks down at you but stops himself seeing you tear up. “I-I’m sorry….don’t get mad like papa!” You cried. “Like papa….” He glares down at you. “Don’t ever compare me to him you litt-” He stops himself seeing the fear in your eyes. Him, being like Cazador. He would rather kill himself than be exactly like his old master. He sighs before kneeling to you as the others were busy with Karlach. “Sorry…I was…I guess you can say I was very worried…I know it wasn’t your intention to run off…” He then whispers “You must be hungry…for blood like me…I know you are craving that sweet and yet bitter flavor but you need to hold it in like I am…tonight we’ll find some small vermin okay?” He slowly pats your head as you nod. Standing up, he walks over to the rest as you follow closely to him. “My, I feel so much better knowing we have a strong wall to protect us from any arrows” He smirks after learning Karlach was recruited. “I like her! She’s nice!” You popped out from behind walking over to Karlach. “And I like you little soldier” She smiles. 

After going back to camp for the day, Astarion watches as you listen to Gale’s stories. He sat from his tent looking at a book but his mind wandered back to what you said. Like papa…when has Cazador ever punished you? He thinks back but nothing comes to him. He turns the page to the book to make it look like he was reading. He looks back at you with that question still haunting his thoughts. It really ticked him off when you compared him to Cazador, he will never be like him…no he will be better. He wants to get back at him and back at him good. He smirks looking at you. Why not get him back with the thing he treasures the most, or rather the person he treasures the more. 

You

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors Notes: Thank you everyone for reading this, please like, reblog and share it with others. I will be working on Part 2 soon hopefully. I also started another series a month ago or more about Astarion and a Gur! Reader. There is only part 1 out as well but I will be working out on that. Please remember to stay hydrated and to get some rest. Love you all! You are welcome to ask to be tagged as well for the next part.

-Axie

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

why does it comfort some people or bring them joy/excitement to imagine their favorite characters in terrible situations and being hurt physically or mentally? wouldn’t you want your favorite characters to be happy and safe?

I’m sure I’ve seen this exact ask being sent to another writing blog before, so seeing one in my own inbox was a little surprising. but anyway, I’ve said this before, but I don’t mind saying it again because lots of people seem to still be confused about this; the enjoyment of imagining or seeing fictional characters in terrible situations in which they are hurt and/or scared is called whump. people who enjoy whump tend to express their interest through art, such as drawings, writings, etc. whump has a community on several online platforms, as well as here on Tumblr. we are simply known as “whump community”.

moving on to your question, “why does it comfort us to imagine our favorite characters in agony?” — there is no definitive answer to the question, because different people enjoy whump for various, different reasons, and all of these reasons are valid. however, what I can give you is some examples of the reasons why people enjoy whump

reasons why people like whump:

some people use whump as a reflection of what they’ve been through, and they let their trauma out by channeling the trauma through fictional characters. to make it as simple as I can, some people use whump as a coping mechanism to help them heal from any traumatic events in their lives.

while whump is indeed about pain, it can also be about the comfort (the healing process) that comes after the pain. I personally known several people who heal by writing whump stories in which their favorite characters went through and survived terrible things that happened to them. the comfort part of the whump was used as a symbol of hope for these people, in the sense that they hold on to the idea that if these fictional characters can survive horrible things that happened to them, they (the writers) can survive and heal too.

some people use whump as a way to let out their frustration, trauma or pain. an abuse victim may fantasize about hurting their abuser back by creating a fantasy world in which their favorite character was hurt, but later healed and/or get their revenge.

it’s also worth mentioning that one doesn’t have go through their own trauma in order to be able to enjoy whump. 

some people like whump where their favorite character is hurt because they just Want to Hurt These Little Guys. 

some people like whump where their favorite character is hurt because they like the part where their favorite character gets comforted and is nursed back to health after they are rescued.

whump that’s followed by comfort (whump with a happy ending) is valid.

whump that has no comfort (whump without a happy ending) is also valid.

because whump is a genre, just like how lots of people like horror movies just for the sake of liking them. 

the term whumperflies is used to describe the euphoric feeling a person experiences while watching, drawing, writing or reading a whump scenario that hits right in the feels. for lack of better comparison, some people experience whumperflies that come close to an orgasm, whether or not whump is a sexual thing to them (some may enjoy whump as a form of kink, while some may enjoy whump for reasons that aren’t sexual at all). for some, whumperflies are these tingling sensation in the chest and/or the stomach, for someone else, whumperflies is like when you ride a rollercoaster and the ride is going down from its highest stop. there's no wrong way to experience whumperflies, as different people describe and experience them differently.

so, yes, some people may enjoy whump just for the euphoria whumperflies bring. and some people — myself included — can’t get whumperflies unless the character that’s going through pain is their most favorite character; it’s like… because you love this character so much, you’re so connected to them, you're so emotionally invested in them that you can only get whumperflies if it’s them going through the torture, meanwhile other characters just don’t make you feel half as strongly.

and that’s explain why people in the whump community prefer their favorite characters to be the ones going through hell.

and again, just like how movies have different genres, whump is a genre — people who like whump aren’t “freaks” or “red flags” in real life, even if they like whump for reasons that aren’t about coping mechanism. whump is a genre and a form of art, and most importantly, whump is fiction. it’s not real.

I do understand why people who aren’t into whump tend to be confused by the concept of whump, and I do understand why these people think being a fan of a fictional character only means wanting said fictional character to be safe and happy, which is why whump is not for everybody, and that’s okay too.

the thing is there is no wrong way to be a fan of something that’s fictional, you can like this fictional character so much you want to see them cry and covered in blood for whatever reasons, and that’s okay. as long as you’re not hurting anybody in real life.

there’s nothing wrong or abnormal about people who enjoy whump, just like how there’s nothing wrong or abnormal about people who like horror movies. it’s fiction and it’s a form of art. and I believe everybody is allowed to express and enjoy their interests through art in whichever way they want, as long as they’re not harming anybody in real life.

[twsted-outro]

LIFE

PAIRING: Yandere!Arlecchino x Female!Reader

CONTENT WARNINGS: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, murder, yandere themes, Arlecchino is heartless, she's an asshole ngl, not proofread i wrote this on mobile google docs, if you hate dying don't read this, I'm serious. written during 2023 (pre-fontaine and pre-release of arlecchino).

THERE IS fundamentally something about humans that makes their nature so fickle and insignificant. A human baby is born, destined to live life the way many others have done before; they live, perhaps fall in love, and die. It's a tale spun again and again, getting repetitive without any breaks. A cycle doomed until the end of time.

Hundreds, thousands, and millions of mortals have fallen victim to the inescapable loom of death.

But that's how humans are, they fulfil the purpose of living in their own ways. Some take up art, science, magic, or something as simple as farming. Through their small, limited time in Teyvat, there's a small percentage that create breakthroughs in their respective fields and are remembered for centuries to come. Immortalised, in a way, to history.

The world of Teyvat turns and time flows without pause, not giving a chance for anyone to catch up - leaves no room for those who regret and grieve.

Perhaps, in a few millennia, the world of Teyvat will cease to exist. The memories kept in pictures taken from a Kamera will be nothing but dust, statues honouring great heroes will be eroded, the lively lands will be barren and reeking of death, and the population will cease to exist - leaving behind nothing but loneliness. Nothing and no one to remember of what was the history that plagued the world.

Through that logic, in a way, life is meaningless. A nihilistic view, but one that stands true. All of the people are living for nothing - they laugh, cry, love, spend their wealth, pray to be blessed with visions, overcome hardship just to amount to absolutely nothing.

Life is nothing but one obstacle to another.

But perhaps, life can also be a blessing.

Because out of all the ages and time that scopes through space and history, out of all the reigns of Archons - by chance, out of pure luck and coincidence, Celestia blessed Arlecchino with the opportunity of you living in the same century as her.

Indeed, life is nothing but a hindrance and humans all live the same fate of dying, but there is still joy to be found - to experience.

And a miniscule amount of joy is more than enough to live through hell and back.

Arlecchino, a harbinger of the Fatui, does not believe in love. In her long life and the centuries she's lived, loving another has never crossed her mind. Even after meeting you under a streetlamp in Fontaine, what she feels for you can not be described as love.

Because she does not love, never has and never will.

Even now, laying in your apartelle's bed with and absentmindedly looking around your dim lit room, the word love doesn't suffice.

Both of your bodies are bare with only a measly blanket covering the lower half, her arm loosely wraps around your waist. The smell of sweat and bodily fluids linger in the air, a light reminder of what happened prior.

The world is quiet and it feels like all of Fontaine are asleep save for the two of you.

You're tracing shapes and words on her back, sweet words that bleed with affection falling from your lips seamlessly. You tell her you love her, repeatedly. You talk as if you can't live without her. You look at her adoringly and smitten, as if she's the one your world revolves around.

Briefly, you stop tracing on her back. "I love you," Then you smile, hand reaching out to tenderly hold hers. "So much."

She doesn't say it back, opting to stay quiet.

Briefly, your face falls at her lack of reciprocation but you smile once more, choosing to ignore what happened.

You aimlessly play with her hand, interlocking and separating your fingers from hers, then repeating. You press a kiss on the back of her hand, and profess again, "I love you."

"But I don't expect you to say it back, ever." You finish, a sense of melancholy coming over you. You stare into her eyes, searching for something - anything. "And I suppose that's okay. I'll still love you all the same."

"Nothing can ever stop me from loving you."

Arlecchino merely nods, and the conversation dies out into silence just like that. Soon enough, you succumb to slumber, your grip on her hand loosens and Arlecchino is left to simply staring at you.

When she knows there is nothing to lose, she risks it all and lets her fingers trace featherlight touches on your skin - each touch gentle and delicate, unbefitting for someone of her prestige. Unbefitting of someone such as Arlecchino.

It's bizarre - how Arlecchino wreaks havoc and leaves the battlefield with blood stained hands and for those same hands to touch another human being as if you're made from fine glass.

She sighs, light and airy.

Arlecchino knows.

She knows that you think she doesn't love you back - an unrequited love. She knows that you think she only sees you as a means to an end, a connection to get closer to obtaining the Hydro Archon's Gnosis. She knows that once her business is done in Fontaine, she'll have to leave you.

And when that happens, she'll leave you heartbroken and alone, heart shattered into a million smithereens. Perhaps her experience with you will scar your perception of love, or maybe not. But one thing she's sure of is that you'll find someone else down the line, and as fate has foretold, you'll fall in love and when you die, it's them in your heart - not her.

Arlecchino can't have that. She loathes the idea of someone else replacing her standing in your life, as selfish as it may be.

No, Arlecchino does not believe in love, what she feels for you isn't love. It's something far, far greater.

Her feelings transcend what it means to be human, for no sane person in love would do what she's about to do.

Inside a room in an Apartelle in Fontaine, Arlecchino rises up from the covers of your bed, still naked, and retrieves her items.

She comes back with the distinct sound of metal dragging across the ground, her sword, and you're still sleeping with lovely dreams plaguing your little mind.

You're peacefully asleep, that's good.

When she raises the sword, the metal glinting against the moonlight menacingly, you're still asleep.

When Arlecchino, a cold blooded killer, ends your life - it's peaceful. There is no struggle, your eyes are closed so there's no betrayal to be found in them. Your breathing cuts off like plucking out a fruit from a tree, and you're stuck in an eternal dream - never to wake up again.

She snuffs out the blessing given to her by Celestia like it's nothing.

Arlecchino can't love you, she doesn't love you. It's much more than love, it's the carnal want for you to the point she'd rather be the one to end your life than watch you fall in love with someone else. A truly maddening mindset to possess.

Selfish, unfair, cold-hearted Arlecchino.

Perhaps, had the circumstances been different, she'd be able to 'love' you in her own way. Had the circumstances been different, she'd say 'I love you' back.

Life is meaningless, even more so without you.

Life is meaningless and the world will end.

But, should there be an afterlife, a possibility of reincarnation, Arlecchino hopes to spend it with you once more.

[oneforblu]

i watched look back (spoilers)

got back from the theaters not long ago and immediately felt like i had to unload all my feelings about this movie. the manga itself was so beautiful but somehow, the movie just made each and every moment so much more beautiful.

from the silly moments that made me laugh to the heartwrenching ones that made me cry, this movie was full of so much detail and care. you could feel the effort from each scene. i can't believe this movie even exists; it's just that good.

the story of two young girls with a passion for art coming together to create manga. it's a simple concept, but fujimoto's story is one to remember. fujino is used to the "talented artist" role in 4th grade, only for all of that to crumble when she realizes she isn't as talented as she was made out to be. but going to drop off kyomoto's diploma begins an unlikely friendship.

the scene of fujino dancing in the rain and the montage of the two girls drawing together made me feel so happy. these two girls became so close, bonding over their love of drawing manga. not only did they have someone to share their love of art with, but the manga they created led them to success. when kyomoto thanked fujino for getting her out of that house, i could not stop crying at that point of the movie. It captured the youthful essence so perfectly. i felt so much joy watching these two draw their way through the years. it almost made me forget what was coming up next.

the friendship is captured so well, and so is the grief that fujino feels after losing kyomoto. this scene is already heartbreaking, but the voice acting takes it to another level. i was trying to hold it together, but when fujino blamed herself for what happended, i was a wreck. in her eyes, she would have been safe if kyomoto never stepped out that day. watching these moments on screen was so much more painful than reading them. i could not believe how well it was done.

but before i could cry anymore, it cuts to young kyomoto and her life in the alternate world where she meets fujino again. these moments were so comforting. in another world, they were both alive and well and could even come together to draw. i like to imagine that in every possible timeline where these two meet, they will create a friendship founded on their love of art and draw for the rest of their lives.

then why do you draw, fujino?

i genuinely have no words to describe how i felt at this moment. the moments of kyomoto happily reading their manga, the two drawing and laughing together. the reason for going back to drawing manga was because fujino met kyomoto. if it were not for that one day after their 6th grade graduation, fujino would not be where she is now. it doesn't matter in what timeline or universe these two are in; if fujino were to meet kyomoto, they would come together and draw.

this movie brought fujimoto's story to life in the most incredible and heartfelt way, and it was such an experience to watch on screen. even as i write this, i'm tearing up. this story is just so impactful. it's not a happy ending, nor is it a sad one. it's a part of life to love so much, to lose some, and to keep on going. look back is just such a moving piece of work, and i have said it so many times, but this movie truly outdid itself.

i wish i could see this in theaters again. if you love the manga, i highly recommend watching it. it's so beautiful.

[aphelion-alifer]

lower energy ways to connect with your nonhuman self

it's amazing that as nonhumans, we have a lot of different ways to express ourselves and to feel connected to our theriotypes, kintypes, species, etc. as mental health is a big struggle for myself and I am sure for many of you too, sometimes it's not possible to feel fully energized for any sort of reason, and sometimes this can lead to feelings of disconnect between you and your species, or not being able to fully participate in things that you normally would do to feel nonhuman. hopefully my tips will resonate with those in need of a little bit of help during these hard times!

p.s. - I hear you and I see you, all of you who are struggling, or know someone who is. I know it's not easy some days, and sometimes mental health leaves us feeling lonely. on top of being nonhuman, the loneliness can feel increased. never be afraid to reach out to someone you trust if you need to!

step outside on a nice day if possible. you don't have to walk far or go anywhere, just connect with nature even if it's for a few minutes

if you can't or don't want to go outside, listen to nature/ambient sounds that relax you or remind you of your species or habitat

take a nap/go to sleep in the way that feels most natural to you. do you curl up, have heavy wings that wrap around you as you lay down, need to find a position that feels right because of your horns or spikes? do you need to make a nest or den out of blankets or pillows or stuffed animals? do what feels right to get cozy!

listen to music, something that comforts you as well as makes you feel connected to your species

if it's possible, find or make meals/snacks that comfort you or make you feel more connected to your species. don't feel like eating or don't have the energy to? try to find something to drink instead!

watch youtube or documentaries relating to your species, and make a playlist out of the videos you like the most

feeling creative, but just not quite enough to go through with creating something on your own? decorate something you own with stickers to help remind you of yourself or your habitat (water bottle, journal, sketchbook, laptop, phone case, mobility aids, etc)

if you do have a bit of energy to doodle, try doodling things that make you the happiest when it comes to your nonhuman experience! bonus points if it's on yourself (with safe inks ofc)

casually daydream about yourself as your true nonhuman self in your habitat throughout your day

if you're feeling lonely (for nonhuman reasons or not), try talking to someone you trust or try reaching out to nonhuman groups that are willing to help support you and listen to you

if you're feeling up to it, put together an outfit that reminds you of your nonhuman self. you don't necessarily have to wear it, it can be clothes you have personally that you can lay out for later or you can make a pinterest board with things you'd think would help make you feel connected to yourself ^^

do you have gear that you wear but forgot about, put away, or havent worn in a while? bring it back out and wear it! take pictures of yourself or look at yourself in a mirror and try to think about what makes you the happiest when it comes to being nonhuman, a happy memory regarding your nonhumanity or when you wore your gear, etc.

if it's possible, take a bath. it doesn't have to be a full shower, just a simple bubble bath and light some candles that remind you of the outdoors or your nonhuman self. when you're done, give yourself a good little shake to dry off, if that's something you do or brings you joy! bonus points if you get out of the bath and think "man my fur/scales/feathers/wings/tail(s) etc feel heavier after being in the water"

..and if those tips don't resonate with you, or are feeling completely drained, it's okay to just exist. feeling disconnected to yourself is one hell of a pain to deal with, and I know it's hard to feel connected to yourself again when the darkness passes sometimes. sometimes, at least for me, feeling connected to my nonhumanity comes and goes, and sometimes it's mental health related and other times it's not. when these hard times come, and when the feelings of being drained hit hard, it's okay to take a step back from everything and relax and get the help you need. you will find the strength to feel connected to yourself again. always remember that life is never fully stuck in one place and that we are always constantly moving and changing, even if it doesn't feel like it. 💙

[lick-me-lennon22]

How they'd comfort you after losing a pet

(hey, guys!!! this is the final request in my queue, so I will make a post announcing request are once again OPEN ♡ I apologize for the lateness, I've been dealing with heart issues and some complications with work but I didn't forget about y'all!! I hope these headcanons bring peace and comfort to those who need it 💕)

John

John would be straightforward, but empathetic

He would sit with you, offering a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on

Though he's not the greatest at comforting words, he would express his understanding of your feelings and emphasize the validity of your emotions

After hearing you describe your pet's unique features and seeing the photos you showed him, he surprises you with a (somewhat crude, but very sweet and personal) art piece of them

John might recommend adopting another animal companion together when the time is right

He would also share his own experience with loss and how he found comfort in memories and shared love

Paul

Paul would be very nurturing and comforting towards you, as always

He might bring over a sweet treat or make you some tea just the way you like it, knowing that simple gestures can mean the most to someone who is grieving

He'd share comforting words and reassurances, emphasizing the unconditional love that pets give and how their memory can live on through stories and shared experiences

Paul would share stories about his own pets and how they inspired some of his songs (think "Martha My Dear")

He would sit down with you and help you write a song about your beloved companion, composing a gentle and soothing melody on the guitar, understanding the healing power of music

He would likely bring you a small gift as a token of remembrance, such as a charm bracelet with their name engraved

George

George would talk about the interconnectedness of all living beings and how our pets leave a lasting imprint on our souls

He would offer comforting words about the eternal nature of love and memory

He might suggest meditation to sit with your feelings or calming music to soothe the grief

Above all, he would encourage you to release your emotions when they overwhelm you - whether it be by crying, journaling, or whatever eases your pain

George would help you create a small memorial space/altar in your home, complete with candles, flowers, and a favorite toy or photo of your pet

He'd gift you a flowering plant as a symbol of growth and renewal, offering hope for healing and moving forward

Ringo

Ringo would be incredibly compassionate and understanding, and create a supportive environment for healing

He might lighten the mood by sharing anecdotes about his own pets behaving in amusing ways, sharing how they brought joy into his life and reminiscing about heartwarming moments

He would encourage you to take time for a favorite hobby or comfort activity to take your mind off of your grief and sadness

He'd also provide physical comfort at a time when it's needed most

Ringo uses his crafting skills (if you can call them that) to help you a photo album or scrapbook to immortalize your favorite memories

He would invite you to watch a sweet and funny movie together, offering distraction and a chance to share a cozy moment of connection

[wangxianficrecs]

Work of Heart by Witch_Nova221

Work of Heart

by Witch_Nova221 (@witchnova221)

T, 17k, Wangxian

Part of the MDZS Secret Santa 2023

Summary: Lan Zhan is challenged by Lan Qiren to survive on a simple budget, rather than the family fortune, for his final year of university. He finds himself a apartment share with art student, Wei Ying, and they slowly become friends. As their relationship grows though, he learns more about his roommate's family situation and the true reason why he is always so busy. Kay's comments: A truly sweet and lovely story, filled with fluff and a hint of angst for the seasoning! I absolutely loved the fast burn between Wangxian and that there were no misunderstandings between them, just love and care and so much sweetness! Also, living for supportive uncle Lan Qiren in this story and the re-appearing dunks on Lan Huan's dating life. In this story, Lan Zhan and Wei Ying live together during their final year at university and immediately fall for each other. Everything would have been perfect for Wei Ying, if it wasn't for Yu Ziyuan making unreasonable demands of him! Excerpt: Living with Wei Ying was an experience. There were days when Lan Zhan believed it was the worst mistake he had ever made. Days when he was tripping over the discarded shoes that never made it into the rack or found himself completing two loads of washing up when Wei Ying had forgotten again that their chore chart existed. Other days though, he could not wish for a better companion, Wei Ying teaching him how to laugh at himself and how to talk of everything and nothing where before Lan Zhan had kept to his own company. His favourite evenings were the ones where he would bring his qin into the living room and play the latest piece he had been composing whilst Wei Ying would set up an easel and canvas and paint to the music Lan Zhan created. It was a joy to watch as his music was brought to life in colour and movement, the paintings as unique and beautiful as the artist that created them.

pov lan wangji, modern setting, modern no powers, college/university, roommates, artist wei wuxian, musician lan wangji, college student wei wuxian, college student lan wangji, strangers to lovers, friends to lovers, getting together, developing relationship, love confessions, emotional hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, yu ziyuan being an asshole, emotional manipulation, good uncle lan qiren, good sibling jiang cheng, good sibling jiang yanli, blackmail

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[mineral-vulture]

The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions

You know, for Go Rush (and Sevens) being the lighter and sillier Yugioh series in tone it really does have moments of sorrow.

OKAY I wanna talk about Sevens and Go Rush and how both series have this weird underlying of tragedy in it. So uh spoilers for both series below. Oh and it will be long.

My boyfriend @siromany and I watched Go Rush first because we were fascinated that one out of the three protags (I will die on the hill that Yuamu and Yuhi are protags along with Yudias) is an alien. We were watching it and wondering the series' connection to Sevens especially when we would see shots of Yuga. We did eventually figure out it was in the past. After we watched the episode where Yuga, Yuamu, and Yuhi go to the future as cats seeing the time period where Yuga came from we discussed the possible turmoil that Yuga feels. At this point what we knew about him was that he made rush duels in his time, somehow ended up on the past, and had to make rush duels to help prevent the valgerian's war. Seeing one of his friends inform him that the game he created, rush duels, also went through the same thing like in the real yugioh meta. Overly complicated, unfriendly to new players, and pushing out children who are the main demographic from the game. We both felt sadden for him finding this info out but it seemed like he was able to take it in a "Well that just means someone else has to come by and fix it again" sort of positive view. Not long after watching that episode I suggested we watch Sevens since this series is going to have more references and connections to it. That and there is context we are missing. So we did just that and I will say I am glad we watched it the way we did because it gave a unique perspective on both series. Watching Sevens we were able to see how the Go Rush counterparts are inversions to how each dynamic was different which was super cool. When we were getting to the ending of Sevens both of us felt the pain of knowing what was going to happen to Yuga. We kept thinking back to the Go Rush episode where he returns to his time and now that episode is more painful with full context.

Returning to Go Rush and watching Yuga's journey it truly sunk in that him going back to the present for a bit only to be told that what he did in the past did not change the present but in fact CAUSED what all happened was NOT good for Yuga to find out. Yugioh in 7 out of 8 series has always had the theme of going against destiny and being able to fight against it, Vrains being the exception, and how the main characters can prove the antagonists wrong in some way. Sevens and Go Rush seem to have more of the theme of "You can fight against destiny but there is a consequence to it and you may not like what that is". I vaguely know there are people who don't really sympathize with what Yuga did in the later half of Go Rush which like I can kind of get. However lets put ourselves in Yuga's position, shall we?

You are a 10 year old child who has been thrust into the past after trying to protect your creation from a man who wanted it destroyed. A creation that was made from joy and love of duel monsters. Trying to bring the game back to the demographic it was made for, children. Making rush duels simple to understand but also fun to play. You a stranded in a place that is both familiar and unfamiliar and you need to find a way back home. But you are stopped by a man and his crew who are demanding you to create rush duels. You don't want to do this, you know this could affect the past. But you overhear that his man's species have been fighting in a big war for a long time and that the conflict has not ceased. Dueling from your experience has brought people closer and you can communicate through to people's hearts to make them understand (a common yugioh staple about dueling) and while you may not know why this guy wants rush duels to exist or how he knows of them, you have hope that maybe this could help stop strife. Maybe making them this early wouldn't be so bad? That and maybe making it early that could mean you could change the past of dueling and therefore the future of it for the better. You not just do such but along the way meet the ancestors of people who look similar to your friends. But they aren't the same people which logically makes sense but doesn't hurt any less. They remind you of home, a place that now you have kind of given up going back to. But hey, chin up! Rush Duels ending up saving the Velgearian and ending their war! That's great, you DID have a positive impact! Making Rush duels in the past was for the better.

Wait, now these two random guys have created Maximums by turning people into cards? Uh, that is a lot worse than how they were originally made. You get turned into card and two whole years pass while you are in that state. But no worries, you know you can trust you ancestors and their Velgearian friend to solve this. It'll all be fine. You then get sent back to the present just for a bit to observe your friends. But going back you are told by one of them that Dueling became complicated and out of the reach of kids. What you did in the past didn't change it. In fact, YOU caused the same cycle to happen. You try to ignore that thought and tell yourself that it can be fixed, you can change this. You head back to the past promising you will return home...hopefully. unbeknownst to you, your presence is creating a rift between two best friends because of their feelings for you. Feelings you are unaware of because at this point you are a 12 year old boy. One of them is the ancestor of the six ceos of Goha company, a company that in the future creates duel monsters, while the other is the ancestor of the Mutsuba company that deals with construction and is of now the owner of the city. Where you came from the town was called Goha city, not Mutsuba, the descendant of Mutsuba talked about how her family lost power and how Goha took over everything. In the past both companies were super close but then everything fell...and that falling is happening before you but you aren't even aware of it. But well at least the Maximum situation has been sol-oh a prototype of the Velgearian species is causing issues? Great, okay that can be solved. While it does get solved...you find out that the Velgearian are dying and fast. They are being wiped out, but why? You thought they were immortal, what could possibly be causing their extinction? They are using their energy while rush dueling which is shortening their lifespan. The thing you created to help them is what is going to end them. You are responsible for their demise. But then you find out that proto-Velgearian was trying to find a way to stop this. That he was looking into a way to revive the Velgearian but that research stopped. Your friends are trying to complete his goal but you begin to put the pieces together and realize what is being made, Monster Reborn.

The card that began the domino effect of the destruction of Rush Duels in your time. A card that alters the memories of others. The card that caused strife between siblings where they decided to destroy rush duels along with each other. It is now sinking in how everything is repeating itself and how this could be your fault. You have to, no, you NEED to stop this. Even if it means hurting those you care about. Even if they see you as their enemy and you are alone, you have to do this. You have to destroy what you love, you have to become the person you tried stopping before coming here. You now understand why he was trying to stop you those years ago. What other option is there? You can't tell them why making this card would be bad because your Velgearian friend wants his comrades back. He won't listen. No one will listen. The needs of the many out weigh the needs of the few as they say. You fight your ancestors tooth and nail only for the card to be used and now all three of you can see each other's memories. Your ancestors now know what all will happen. You loose against them and the card is now unleashed. You couldn't stopped it. Your duel caused a rift in reality to open where now you can go home but you are leaving behind a road of the damage you have caused. Made worse with the fact that Monster Reborn can't even revive the Velgearian which is why the proto-Velgearian stopped his research. Making the card was pointless, and trying to stop it was utterly pointless. Your fighting to change the future only caused it to happen. You have to live with that. But not just you, but your ancestors too.

I know this is the goofy card game show but what the fuck. I didn't expect Yuga to become one of the most tragic yugioh protags. Watching his desperation of trying to stop the pain that is going to happen in his time and in turn having to destroy the very thing he loves was just heartbreaking. Anyway, I hope whoever reads this enjoyed my ramblings on Sevens and Go Rush. That and I hope people who weren't sympathetic to Yuga try to at least understand my perspective and such. Though I tend to like tragic characters a lot so maybe that is why I am sympathetic to him.

[brickcentral]

Hello community!

We've asked to our spotlighted artist Yuan He to provide an exclusive picture for Brickcentral along with some insights on how he made it, and here's what he have to say:

"I’m an interior designer, therefore most of my MOC projects are setting up in interior spaces or architectural scenes. I haven’t done too many projects in natural environment, which sometimes I found it very challenging and interesting. In this shot, I wanted to create a scene of bunch of friends gathering together in a forest, sort of like a camping trip, and in this case, it’s the characters from Winnie the pooh. In this project, in order to hide the boundary of the scene and creating a more realistic environment, I designed some rocky structure on the back, along with some trees and bushes. There is an awning at the center, and the friends of Winnie are playing music, telling stories and dancing, surrounding a fire pit, enjoying themselves and having fun. I planned the scene to be set in night time, in that way I can create contrast of cold and warm lighting colors in this shot, and the viewer can easily focus on the characters, to experience their joy.

Despite the scene looks complicated, it’s actually a relatively simple scene, just lots of random items and repeatable steps, and takes time to build. I spent almost two weeks on it, most of the time are just placing flowers, grasses and trees.

As I mentioned this is a night time scene, I needed to set up some camping lighting to light up the awning area. I’m using micro-LED lights inside of the translucent bricks, but they are not that bright, just for decorative purpose. Another light source is in the fire pit, again it’s not bright, but sometimes it would be helpful to add more details at the scene.

After posting all the minifigures, and it’s time for the big boys to actually light up the whole scene. As you can see in this photo, I have 4 blue lighting fixtures to create the night time atmosphere. The two tubes on the back are for slightly lighting up the blue backdrop paper, to separate the trees and also mimicking the night sky, will get into that later. Besides of those, the front left light is serving the purpose of creating the general blue-sky light at night, which can be reflected on the front elements like trees, grasses etc. There is only one warm lights in front of the scene, since those decorative micro-LED lights are too weak, this small cube light is the key to light up the awning and minifigures, and generating a growing spot at the center. The small LED tube at the front right acts as a fill light, specifically for brightening minifigures, restores more details on the dark side.

If we are shooting indoor, there are few tricks to create more realistic background for the photos. I used to have my computer monitor as a background to simulate the sky, distanced buildings etc. But sometimes it can be tricky, I might need to adjust lighting and monitor brightness levels to accommodate each other, or my scene is just too big to move. In this project, since the trees needed to be blended in with the “sky”, I’m using a blue paper as a backdrop to creates more depth on the scene and making it look bigger, it works great for night scene, but different scenarios like broad daylight might be too bland for just using a paper.

Hope you enjoy this project and found it useful for creating your LEGO photos. I’ve learned a lot from other amazing photographers and creators all these years, I found it very interesting and inspiring to watch how others create their amazing photos. And like I said earlier, for LEGO photographers, camera gears are not that important, what matters is how your story want to be told."

Thanks for all the insights Yuan He! If you want to read this artist profile, head to our blog at https://brickentral.net/ - @theaphol, Community Outreach Manager

[drakeanddice]

DM Burnout is a D&D Problem

This is a trad-game problem and I’m tired of pretending that it’s not.

The implied structure of Dungeons & Dragons in which an authorial/managerial Dungeon Master provides content to a number of passive/experiential players who provide little to no input into the cycle of adventure creation, plot development, and experience tailoring is a direct cause for the phenomenon of “DM Burnout.”

I say implied up there because, like much of the game, the structure of a D&D game is mostly a matter of “you’ll know it when you see it.” Sure there's a section in the book that lays out the responsibilities, but the book's already told you to ignore it if it feels wrong a couple of times by this point. So really, structure is oral tradition and folkways, passed down by a neighbor kid or an older sibling, or the internet. But the basic fundamental principle is fairly inviolate; the players create characters, and the GM creates an adventure for them to go on. The Players play their characters, and the GM plays everything else, to include the impartial arbiter of the fiction. That’s about all we get. It’s not a balanced equation from the get go.

The installation of a single authorial voice, providing the framework for the players, their context, and their boundaries is heavy. That single brain at the table has to create content ahead of time, present it, and then ensure that the players don't stray. Or else, they have to pivot and adapt real-time, either exploiting their prep or improvising whole cloth. In combat encounters, they have to make decisions for multiple characters, enemies and allies both, and often present those choices as rational and plausible rather than optimal--because the oral tradition of the internet veers toward the death of Player Characters being a fail state. And moreover, they must contextualize and narrate the results and moves of not only their pieces on the board, but also often those of the player. Any collapse down to "17 hits, it does 9 slashing damage" is a reduction of interesting tactical combat to slog.

Players are, on the other hand, expected to show up and react. The content is provided, they make choices in reaction to the content, and the game proceeds. If, perhaps, they did some creative writing and crafted a backstory for their character, it is incumbent upon the DM to weave that into the overarching plot. Otherwise, it's purely an exercise in passivity.

DMs are increasingly called on to provide accessories and sensory input beyond just their narrative and roleplaying performance. Maps, minis, tokens, music, soundboards, mood lighting, handouts, item cards, "scent-scapes" apparently. More plates to spin. More steps to the dance that a DM is expected to perform every game night.

I get it. It's fun. It's a labor of love.

But it's labor.

Eventually, you get tired. One week you realize that you're swamped. One week you don't feel like getting a lukewarm reaction to your labor. One week you're not in a good headspace to graciously lose to your players again. You're burnt out, and you need some time to recapture the joy.

I've never heard a story about a D&D player burning out. I've never seen a person, with martyred pride call themselves a "forever player." Though they're quick to say that the DM is also a player.

The DM is not a player. They are providing play. They are a single point of failure, the single authorial voice who provides content and context for every part of the game.

The thing about single points of failure, they wear out faster. Distributing strain preserves a machine. Redundancy is good. D&D is not built this way. It is a simple machine, a single pulley-- a single brain-- supporting the weight of the fiction.

You cannot be surprised that you can't find a service-minded DM to run this game for you long-term. You should not be surprised when the average length of a D&D campaign is 6 sessions. You shouldn't be surprised that many DMs have an antagonistic view of players as agents of chaos. You certainly shouldn't be surprised that a service industry has sprung up around paid DMing almost exclusively around D&D and its inheritors.

Because if you can endure it longterm and not be reduced to a ragged nub by the friction of being the sole authorial voice, you have a marketable skill. Get paid.

Tldr: D&D tells the DM to prep, improv, adjudicate on the fly, and dance for the amusement of passive players and then wonders why DMs are hard to find. DMs do this dance and then wonder why they're creatively worn-down. This is not a place of honor. This is just the service industry in your free-time, and you deserve better.