#just enjoying the experience
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FINALLY GOT ALL THE ENDINGS IN SIGNALIS. I TOOK A BREAK ON MY LAST RUN BC I FELT LIKE TAKING ONE, AND ALSO I WAS AFRAID I WOULDN'T GET THE ENDING I WANTED BUT I DID!! FINALLY. MY GOD.
#signalis tag#you know what fuck it main tag I'm proud of myself#signalis#took me lilke. 4 months and 3 runs but whatevs#had no spoilers for any of them too hehe#that truly was what the signal is#gonna replay it again soon prob just to play it with no pressure for endings like I did back in my first run#just enjoying the experience#hahhh im so satisfyed only took me 44.9 hours
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typical tavern scene
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhjy#fabian seacaster#riz gukgak#adaine abernant#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#gorgug thistlespring#got my version of this in lol. I feel like this is mandatory if u draw fh art#trying to remember whats on the menu at a typical swensen's. its been years since I last was at one#tho I am so absolutely unfamiliar with like elmville level of town scenery. just immediately drew from my own experience lmao#I used to think malls are the same everywhere.... but then I hear from my US friends and. wow they sure are not#mm. good day to reminisce a little bit. but I am now sleepy#not a lot to say abt this I think most of this is pretty straightforward. I did use this to test out some overlays in SAI2#that I never really touched. the talisman on fig's guitar case takes from the house protection talisman you'd put on the front door#and also I think kristen slipping while fully sat down is very funny and special. she means so much to me#okay. alright. I should really go to sleep. and tomorrow I should take my dang walk... see the sun#have a good night lads! enjoy ice cream
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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"this is too raw of a line to come from—" shut up. beauty and meaning is everywhere
#eye guy speaks#i need that phrase to be removed from everyone's vocabulary Please#why are you so convinced that such things cannot be discovered by or found in the mundane#1/1/23 edit: hope you all have enjoyed yourselves bc im ready for some peace and quiet *turns off reblogs*#1/4/23 edit: please don't comment about wanting to reblog. the experience itself may be fleeting but you will have your memory of it#(aka i turned them off for my health and you will be ok. it's just a post)
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Kiss Kiss Fallen Tree!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Sorry to everyone who was looking forwards to this comic only to find out I put WWX in the ugliest outfit.#Continuity came first. Plus let's be honest; he did *not* show up in anything fancy. Or in all black as seen in most fanart.#We are at the middle of WWX depression arc. His self-care was 100% because Jin Yanli would be sad if he didn't try to look nice.#Okay okay. Fine I've delayed talking about the kiss long enough.#It is absolutely a core LWJ scene over a WWX scene. Which is made even more fascinating because we don't get his POV.#But we get so many insights! His loss of control and his firmness all contrasted against how he trembles.#And all of that wrapped up in a wonderful self-loathing bow! You go Lan Zhan! You hated yourself so much for this!#WWX is a hilarious narrator for this because he is truly just...baffled by what's going on.#He would push the person away but he doesn't want to hurt their feelings or pride (putting other people first again are we?)#I do understand why this one is divisive for people though. I choose to look at it through a character/humourous lens.#I've seen people defend and admonish this scene as a particularly shitty thing LWJ did and let's be very clear here: It was.#That's why I like it. LWJ did a shitty thing and struggles with it. It's part of what makes him so robust as a character.#It's also fine if you enjoy this scene for it's eroticism. You're not a bad person for that. You are just A Person.#People will have their own experiences with this topic. Be kind to each other alright?
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My favorite part about the Debling plot was Penelope and Cressida doing the most over there top cat-fighting in order to win him over, not because they genuinely liked the guy, but because they wanted to escape their families and also lowkey just hate each other.
#the female experience that is… doing things out of spite#also if you ask me the actual love triangle this season is pen/eloise/cressida which I LOVE#toxic yuri let’s go!#don’t know why everyone was so salty abt debling bc me personally#i was enjoying the hell out penelope bulshitting her love of nature just to one-up cressida#and completely ignoring that colin was PINING right beside her#not out of cruelty she’s just that dumb <3#all this time i thought pen was going after debling for petty reasons related to her mother#but turns out she was also going after debling for petty reasons related to cressida LOVE IT#penelope featherington#cressida cowper#lord debling#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers#bridgerton season 3
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GURIFISU
#I just wanted to experiment with a colour pallet#but that red kinda makes me feel sick when I look at it#I also feel like I should try drawing different things since all I ever do is draw characters from one angle but I also enjoy doing that#so why stress about doing other things?#I don’t want my art to be boring I guess#fanart#berserk#griffith#griffith berserk
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happy pride to all queer children of immigrants
patreon
#muertodraws#queer art#queer comic#lgbtq#pride#trans artist#qtpoc#trans art#transgender#transmasc#mlm#if youre a queer child of immigrants you deserve free lifelong therapy#this comic was originally going to be a “i feel like a freak” cuz im trans and people dont know what to do with me#and then it turned into like. oh god this experience is compounded by your complicted relationship to uhh well#being mexican and a child of immigrants#i was originally going to add a quote from a jose marti poem but idk i didnt want this to get too long#i think if i did that i would prolly attract the attention of latine purists and nationalists lmfaooo#i already have people who dont even believe im mexican much less a child of immigrants much less a man#the most common hate i get now is that im a confused white woman gringa who isnt latin american#besides the transphobia im just like. have you ever heard of a diaspora#anyway#hope someone enjoys this
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Bill Cipher gets a painful reminder of their family dynamics, Stan ignores some unsettling realizations about his brother, and the family catches up over some interdimensional enchiladas.
If they can avoid anymore traumatic head injuries, the Pines brothers can make this work. Probably. Maybe.
#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gf theseus' guide#stanley pines#mabel pines#dipper pines#i think its great when the whole family comes together to whoop bills ass#just a real bonding experience . very healthy#anyways enjoy this next chapter ! looking forward to chap 3. that one is all ford POV yayyy#also it's 11k words yaaaaaaaaaaaay#stump art#stump fic
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Okay to reblog to help sample size!
#erurandomness#erubabbles#fanfiction#fanfic#I have a few longfics I've come to realize I'll probably never finish#but they have like 50k words and maybe people would enjoy the beginning?#and i *want* to finish them. I just don't know if I'll ever get that spark back that'll let me finish. it's frustrating#my perfectionism has kind of paralyzed me and a mix of that and drifting fandoms has me wondering#would people like it if i shared them so they could experience what's been written? or is it not worth it if they won't be updated?#fic tag
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we need more armpit tickling art../nf
so cruel... do we really....
#-.^ these drawings could Not get more indulgent#actually they 100% could. I'm just preventing that#this one was a fun experiment though! nice to play with colors and I used magma for it#tickling art#Always accepting requests btw. up your game people... give me something fun#i'll drop a finalized (ever-changing) list of the media I enjoy soon enough
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I was wondering why Kalim and Jamil's outfits were so similar and Kalim's home turning into Jamil's, and I know a part of it is saving on assets since chapter 7 is HUGE, but I think there's a lot of symbolism in there too.
In this fake school, this is their school uniform. For Kalim, the colors are white and blue, and dream Jamil wears that, conforming to Kalim's idealistic view of him. The same is true for the opposite, inverting the colors to be red and black to suit Jamil's vision.
Jamil taking Kalim's home and making it his own I think is both showing how Malleus has very shallow ideas of what happiness means to people and also Jamil's inability to perceive life outside of servitude and Kalim.
We know what his real dream is- to be free and travel the world. But in this dream, he takes over Kalim's life and steals what, deep down, he believes should belong to him since a lot of what Kalim gets (like good grades, talent, etc.) is due to Jamil's sacrifices and undermining himself.
He's instructed by the adults in his life to make sure Kalim is happy at the expense of his own happiness, so of course in this 'happy dream' taking what Kalim has equals happiness, except it's not him.
There is a world out there outside of the caste system he lives in and his determination to break out and have that for himself is huge. I love reading too into them asdfghasd
#Jamil's imagination limited by his experiences when there's so much more for him to enjoy out of life just out there#I hope he gets it#and I hope he and Kalim leave on respectable good terms asdfg#twst#twst spoilers#twst chapter 7#jamil viper#kalim al asim#oddberry analysis
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Experiments with pupils and mouths that devolved into shenanigans :)
#you can really tell I was having a normal one when I drew these#I like many of the pupil experiments but don't really like mouths on my iterators#i've seen some people do mouths on itties well though#...really enjoyed noisy cat spearmaster with a mouth tbh#no plans on changing how i usually draw things rn. this was just for fun#Sometimes I miss having pupils and mouths to work with (on slugcats and itties)#Not having either on iterators can be a unique challenge that forces me to practice my body language more#which I like drawing anyways so it works out#antennae are suuuper fun to use for expressions too#rain world#flickerdoodles#art#group pic
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that doesn't sound right but i don't know enough about receiving valentines to dispute it
#sherlock & co#sherlock and co#patsart#hellooo where do i start with this one#well first of all i wanted to do something less dramatic. ignore page 10 . but#i notice i tend to go for case revelations . so this is a nice case-open scene instead#also acts as a lead to a title page? (???)idk#also chamomile is misspelled in the script#experimenting with the idea that each case has its own visual language#i also took SO many reference photos for this one so it was good for that reason too#also margins? so things are further away from the edge#an elaborate excuse to draw John sitting on the desk? maybe so#also I just really enjoy their jokey teasey friendship
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decided to join in on @quezify’s eggtober again this year as a little art warmup and I actually ended up really enjoying it!! it’s obviously way outside of my usual comfort zone so I’m very happy that I was able to create an end result that I’m proud of :)
#eggtober gives me SO much joy I’m so happy it’s happening again#I did two eggs last year and really enjoyed them so I thought it would be fun to try again and I was right!#I experimented with some new things and I really think I made some great progress from last years attempts :)#eggtober#eggtober2023#my art#art#‘warmup’ my ass lmao. I spent at least an hour on this.#felt rlly good tho#v fun I highly recommend trying to make an Egg even if you think it’s way outside of ur abilities!!#it really pushes you to experiment and play around and just have fun with art!
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When the aroace 💯
#hoof draws#-probably not a strictly aroace experience honestly but personally-#realizing that i didn't have to look for a partner or anything either was also a huge relief#like ah thank god .... i can just be on my own#thank god it's become slightly more acceptable to not want kids...#the first like. 14 years of my life were absolute dread of eventually having to get married and all that#like fuckkk. i better enjoy being a kid now b/c i'm gonna have to start dating and shit as an adult :/
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