#just because we don't get ~endgame~ (not that that's lol a real thing in this universe or important at all) doesn't make the journey lesser

[loisfreakinglane]

the cangel crumbs i got in buffy season 2 just made me more in love with them than i've been in a long time. LOOK AT THOSE TWO. THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY'RE GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY'RE GONNA FALL IN LOVE THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY'RE GONNA CHANGE EACH OTHERS LIVES FOR THE BETTER

[maxverstappendefender]

ain't no love in oklahoma // op81 smau

description: twisters actress!reader x op81 but lando is convinced oscar is lying (from request)

a/n: sorry for being completely inactive. life happened and it didn't happen in a good way! i have a huge exam coming up soon so i will most likely still be inactive besides maybe a few short things here and there. anyways first oscar fic so enjoy! all pics found on pinterest, i don't own any

a/n pt2: might do something fun for each day in october but im not sure what so send me some ideas. also might do some more headcannons/blurbs soon here!

requests: closed but feel free to send me some messages since i love talking to you guys

masterlist

liked by oscarpiastri, glenpowell, and 2,927,641 others

youruser: go see twisters!! if you don’t, you suck and you better hope you don’t get stuck in a tornado because there’s useful information in our movie

tagged: glenpowell

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oscarpiastri: proud of you!!

↳ youruser: 🧡

glenpowell: caption is so real of you

user1: doesn’t yn have a boyfriend? why is she so close to glen?

↳ user2: yes but probably because there’s limited space. yn isn’t like that

↳ oscarpiastri: exactly what user2 said

landonorris: cute!

↳ user3: what are you doing here??

↳ user4: lando in the comments?

user5: such a good movie

user6: yn + glen = power duo

liked by youruser, landonorris, and 3,951,750 others

oscarpiastri: proud boyfriend award goes to me 🏆 thx for all the bts selfies

tagged: youruser, glenpowell

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landonorris: i just laughed out loud

landonorris: “boyfriend” lmaooo

↳ user7: i cant tell if he’s joking or serious

user8: cutest couple ever

glenpowell: aww so glad you remembered the time you took me to the aquarium, what a romantic!

↳ youruser: get your own boyfriend capybara

↳ user9: yn CLOCKED him

// lando’s phone//

//

liked by mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 4,027,835 others

landonorris: POLE BABYYYY!!! everyone ignore my teammates instagram posts, i have told him to stop. i think he took a hit to the head or something

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oscarpiastri: do you want to go to the farm or not?

↳ landonorris: you already said i could go so no take backs

↳ user10: lando is going to yn's farm??

↳ user11: LANDO'S MEETING YN?!

↳ user12: oh i know he's going to fangirl so hard

user13: get me someone who looks at me the way oscar looks at lando

↳ user14: are we sure that they aren't the ones dating?

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 3,017,426 others

youruser: back home finally! pic 1: yeehaw. pic 2: my cat cora had her babies!!! pic 3: dinner date :)

tagged: oscarpiastri

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user15: CORA HAD HER KITTIES

↳ youruser: i am officially a grandma. i feel the gray hairs coming in now

user16: oscar and yn are endgame

oscarpiastri: the best company

↳ landonorris: STOP, idk how you got her in on this joke either

↳ user16: i can't tell if lando knows they are actually dating and is joking or if he truly does not believe oscar

user17: boyfriend is back on the feed!

↳ user18: farmer yn is back on the feed!

glenpowell: miss you lady

↳ youruser: you miss my animals more

↳ glenpowell: and what about it.

liked by youruser, oscarpiastri, and 4,209,384 others

landonorris: OMG HE WASN'T LYING i got to feed so many animals, got to channel my inner cowboy, AND get drunk with the yn? i can die a happy man

tagged: youruser

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oscarpiastri: believe me now?

↳ landonorris: never doubted you

↳ user19: lando seriously didn't believe oscar lol

↳ user20: i fully thought he was joking the entire time

user21: how hard did you fangirl to meet yn, lando?

↳ landonorris: surprised i didn't pass out honestly. i facetimed GLEN POWELL

youruser: so glad you had a fun time!!

liked by youruser, landonorris, and 3,298,361 others

oscarpiastri: everyone clear that this is my girlfriend?

tagged: youruser

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user22: sassy oscar

↳ user23: channeling his inner lando

landonorris: yes sir 🫡

↳ oscarpiastri: stop being weird ?

youruser: MY MANNNNN

↳ user24: oh she's in deep

user25: there is one thing oscar doesn't play about in life: yn

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 4,208,763 others

youruser: didn't even know there was confusion that this was my boyfriend lol

tagged: oscarpiastri

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landonorris: how was i meant to know?!

↳ user26: literally how everyone else knew, instagram.

glenpowell: yn stop posting pics of me and my boyfriend and acting like he's yours

↳ youruser: i dont like this joke.

↳ oscarpiastri: bromance or whatever

↳ user27: they're in a throuple

↳ youruser: ew

↳ glenpowell: disgusting

↳ oscarpiastri: huhhh

user28: couple goals forever and ever

user29: if they don't get married... love isn't real

[acourtofthought]

Your post about Az not being a love interest for elain got me because I had an interaction at work that I still laugh at… I have a Velaris sweatshirt I wear on casual office days. A coworker noticed and we talked about SJMs work.

She asked about my ranking of all SJM couples and I asked- do you mean couples or ships? There’s a difference. And she said couples confirmed in the books.

1. Bryce and Hunt

2. Aelin and Rowan

3. Ruhn and Lidia

4. Etc etc etc

She was shocked that I didn’t have acotar in my top 3. I said there’s other couples and worlds I enjoyed more but Az’s story might pull me back in. She goes- yeah where do you rank Az and Elaine? I said they’re not a couple… she looked at me as if I had 3 heads. She asked if we read the same books. I asked her the same question back lol.

I said if anything they’re a ship. Nothing on page tells me they’re a couple. After my breakdown the woman confessed to only reading the Acotar series and no other works by SJM but the accounts she follows online tell her that it’s Az and Elaine moving forward and the evidence is there. She said it’s been a while since she even read ACOTAR, but with how excited people are online about E/lriel she thought it was a sure thing.

I asked her thoughts on Az and Gwyn and she confessed to just skimming SF because she didn’t like Nesta so from what she sees from the accounts she follows, Gwyn is a little girl taken under Nesta’s wing. 😂

I asked her opinion on Lucien and Elaine and she said from the accounts she follows… he’s abusive and controlling. I asked what was her opinion while reading, NOT seeing peoples opinion online, and she said she didn’t remember but people online make a good cases.

I left the conversation going… well we’ll see when Az’s book comes out. Nothings confirmed until SJM writes it.

There's a shocking number of people who haven't bothered to really read the books and who instead allow themselves to be led by what they see online.

I.e., there's so many people that think it's confirmed that Elain called Az's scars beautiful because of how often that is being spread around online, that this is one of their big clues to an e/riel endgame and romance.

If one had actually read the book though, Feyre says she didn't know whether Elain was looking at his scars OR siphons. And since Az never reflects on Elain looking at his hands in his POV and instead thinks his hands will taint Elain versus Sarah having Elain sigh over the diamonds and pearls Nesta wore, the logical conclusion is that Elain did like his siphons since they're bright and sparkly (no shade to my girl either, who doesn't love jewel like things?). But they scream this scene as being so romantic, confirming it as canon when it's actually not?

That's the same thing with it being said that E/riel wants a future with one another, with them being a canon couple. Two characters wanting to kiss doesn't mean they want a relationship yet some have fully convinced themselves Elain wants to marry Az. That Az wants to be with Elain forever.

Where does it say that in canon? Az might question why he didn't get a bond like his brothers but even that is not proof of wanting to be with her since he also says he's never thought of a real future with Elain, that his plans have only gone as far as his sexual fantasies. The only canon thing we have for E/riel is they were both willing to make-out. On page Elain did not consent to more than that, she did not speak of feelings for Az at all. For some who claim to love Elain, they sure don't seem to care what her actual feelings for Az are, having convinced themselves that hooking up equals love and marriage and babies forever despite Elain never verbalizing exactly what she wants outside of a kiss.

The text supported that Nesta went much further than a kiss with many fae but that doesn't mean she wanted to date them. Yet people claim they KNOW Elain wants to have a relationship with Az just because of Solstice. They literally do not care that Elain has never said she wants anything more from Az than fun, they have assumed and decided for her while no canon exists to prove their opinion. This is Sarah we're talking about here, who started the CC series with Bryce having sex with some guy who she clearly was not interested in having a relationship with, with Feyre who hooked up with Isaac but did not desire more, with Cassian sleeping with the girl he knew his brother wanted. Sarah who loves mates above all else and she's consistently proven throughout the series that Elain and Lucien are mates (not Elain and Az), that Elain will always feel a tug to Lucien no matter what. Everyone that has come before an endgame pairing accepting their bond in Sarah's writing is always just lust, death of a non mate to clear the way for them to find their mate or romance for the wrong reasons but they truly think Az and Elain are the ones breaking that mold? Az who had to be yelled at by Amren for not believing in Elain? Az who didn't care when Elain was her most depressed? Az who didn't even give Elain credit for stabbing the king with his oh so special dagger?

So I agree with everything you said. To me, Elain and Az are not a confirmed canon couple and are not in a relationship, otherwise Nesta and about a dozen or so (or more) fae men were also canon couples. Elizabeth and Wickham would be a confirmed canon couple in P & P. Mor and Cassian would have been a confirmed canon couple. Hooking up doesn't equal a relationship and attraction is not confirmation that two characters have chosen to share their lives together.

That's not to say E/riel isn't a valid ship in the fandom, they are and people can still hope they get together, but they are not a canon couple as neither Elain or Az have expressed the desire to date the other, as they've both avoided each other for an entire year. You can't be a canon couple if you don't spend time together and you can't be a canon couple when 5 months have gone by since an almost kiss and the author never had them look in the others direction again.

And yeah, anyone who believes LUCIEN to be abusive and controlling CLEARLY has not read a single Sarah J Maas book in their life.

As it stands Elain and Lucien, Elain and Az, and Gwyn and Az are not canon couples. The arguments in the fandom should not be proving they are because none are actually in a relationship or dating.

The only valid arguments are who we think Sarah will eventually write as endgame canon couples and of course, I can't imagine anyone being better for Elain than the mate who has never rejected her, who took the author by surprise for her, who Sarah made as being happiest in nature along with her, and who has a similar mentality on cruelty which means Elain will never have to sacrifice what is important to her in order to be with him.

[violetwhisperswolfstar]

The Evolution Of A Wolfstar Girlie

(with my fic recommendations)me aged 10-23: there will never be a book I like more than Harry Potter. I love books and read all the time but Harry Potter is above anything. Reread HP everytime I am feeling down.

me aged 24-30: I lost the ability to read for pleasure. Just read to my kids and A LOT for work.

me at 31: *after a random tiktok video* Sirius and Remus were TOGETHER together?! Never even crossed my mind!!!

But... I get it.

But like... JKR didn't write it. Fanfic is just amateurs writing, right? I have enough of reading as is, I have to read for my job (I'm a translator).

But... They promised it's a HP experience. And I do have an eReader... It costs nothing to try it.

But... What the hell is ao3? What is smut??? Fluff??? HEA? MCD??? Cannon?? AU? Excuse me, is this English?!

The following then happend over 2 months time:

📖 Reading All the Young Dudes

OK, this is really very much like HP. I am getting hooked. This is ACTUALLY what happend, right? Like this is amazingly written. How is this not a real book? (What IS a real book and how do I not know this being a book translator?!) Are Sirius and Remus getting together in this one?

Oh my!

Actually, I've not been this obsessed with a book in like 10+ years.

Reading all through the night (with three kids, mind you, so a very stupid idea)

🎶Love this music!!! Have always loved rock, Queen, Beatles, Bowie, led Zeppelin… You name it. But this makes it better!!!

Finishing ATYD: OMG! OMG! I AM OBSESSED. They need to be together forever. I need to re-read it.

A SEX SCENE in Harry Potter?! EXCUSE YOU! Like… Didn't know I needed that. Thank you.

Of course they had teenage sex at that school. Yes to a giant snake killing people with its sight and no to some friendly petting? Yeah, sure, JKR! Be for real! Never thought about it like that before. And of course they had parties. And smoked (weed) and did drugs. Like… It's a boarding school for heaven's sake! this is much more realistic. Finally know what smut is and I am here for it.

I want a cigarette SO BAD right now (haven't smoked for YEARS)

googling specifics of gay sex because I never thought about it (and I live in a very conservative country) (and like I had QUESTIONS, excuse you, like can you just do butt stuff without prep?!)

finding 📖 explicit one-shots from ATYD

📖 Reading ATYD sirius's POV:

This is ALSO good. So... fanfics on the internet can just... be amazing, right? How has this existed for years and I did not know about it?? Sirius is obsessed LOL. He fell first and he fell harder, the poor boy.

My husband is SO MUCH like Remus. (personality-wise). Guess I know my type, lol.

These fanfics are written better than majority of books I've read. I'm utterly amazed.

📖 Reading Out of the Blue and Bootleg Tapes:

OK, I needed some healing. Happy for Grant and all. But I need wolfstar more.

📖 We could be heroes (finding out what a "fix-it fic" is)

Yes! Wolfstar endgame! A happy ending! Yes!!

Intrusive thoughts: Is ATYD wolfstar like… toxic?

Are they ever happy?

Don't go there, brain!!

Trying to heal with 📖Manacled, then DMATMOOBIL.

Like Dramione. But wolfstar is far superior.

Also have to note that Draco is amazing in bed.

Not a sentence I've ever thought I utter or think. Ever.

Finding 📖 Cadence Of Part-time Poets

sceptical.

How can muggle AU be good? Don't I like all this because of the magic?

Reading it, re-reading it.

Buying an e-cigarette (cause I have to DEAL ffuck's sake and they smoke in like every second scene and ecigarrete is the least of all evil)

Obsessing.

Cannot get enough.

Best. Thing. Ever. Written.

Somehow more magic than magic U.

DOES REGULUS LIKE JAMES?

Seeing the possibilities of Jegulus (is everyone gay in the end? Excuse me, Am I GAY at this point ?)

THE MUSIC OMG THE MUSIC IS MUSICING!!! I am in love with the music! How are Marauders not a band in cannon?! Like that's obviously what they were always supposed to be! Lottie, Simon, Tonya, Tomny… They ARE cannon for me lol. They were there and you cannot convince me otherwise.

Cannot read more, afraid I will lose this Cadence feeling. Just re-reading the best scenes over and over. Stalking motswolo's tumblr. Consuming all there is about Cadence out there. Trying to talk to people about it but noone reads fanfics here!

Can we like start a gofund me for them to get therapy??? I want to see them diagnosed, aware of their traumas and forever together.

Also, why is Remadora a thing? Thank god it wasn't in Cadence (yet) but sometimes i remember it exists and like… vomit internally. Gosh, I rly hate JKR. She just did it to discourage Wolfstar.

getting to read 📖 Black Mass Over Highway 90:

Very sceptical at first.

It's American… and Marauders are essentially English. Remus somewhere in Texas… of all places? Afraid this won't be my cup of tea... Cowboy Remus?! wtf

OMG.

OMG.

This scene basically porn… right? Why do I LOVE THIS?!

Remus is DADDY! Officer Moons!!! He can get it. Like omg. Cowboy Lupin FTW!!

THIS IS the SMUT, RIGHT?! Like do I even want to watch porn at this point? How am I - a cis female in a hetero relationship of 14 years with 3 kids - finding this SO HOT?!

📖 Reading Blends

Also very sceptical.

But... it's so sweet! Is this fluff? Am I discovering fluffy fics? Now, this is comfort reading! Coffe-shop AU? Like, this is where I want to die, my friends! This is so sweet, so incredibly sweet, and I DO NOT miss Voldy and his stupid war one bit, like to hell with him, he can order an Americano and Remus will decaf him at this point!

I am in LOVE!

📖 Reading Names (Blends sequel) because can you do anything else at this point?

Now this is... a whole other thing. It is fluffy, yes. But it goes deeper. And... wider somehow?

It's the first WIP I give a chance.

Cluster headaches are an AMAZING parallel to lycantrophy.

HOW exactly are people this talented just out there publishing fanfics?!

And this "slice of life" thing IS doing it for me. Like really.

📖 Reading Crimson Rivers

Is there anything else besides angst in this?

Wait, James likes... Regulus?!

discovering Jegulus -

wow. I am utterly amazed... cannot put this down at any point of the day. Reading while breastfeeding, reading all through the night. Reading all through the day. Learning how to read and braid my hair at the same time.

I keep thinking - why DO I love gay man/boys stories? How did it come to this? How is this FREE? How do I GIVE BACK to these AMAZING authors that are just doing incredible things for me? Like this is everything I've ever wanted from a book... and they're not even getting paid for this?!

📖 Reading a bunch of short fics inbetween (honorable mentions: Like Real People Do, That's the Art of Getting by, Led by Light of a Star Sweetly Gleaming, Pages of You - discovering Drarry, thinking Drarry is less angst because there's less homophobia in the 90s,

📖 Reading Only the Brave

OK, it's Jegulus, let's give it a chance...

OMG

OMG

OMG

I feel like ever since getting into this fandom, I'm just falling and falling and falling. Falling... In love.

This is so good, you guys. I love JEGULUS!

But as long as WOLFSTAR are together, I can deal (took them half a fic to get together, so please don't do anything stupid!)

I. CANNOT. STOP. READING. WOLFSTAR.

In every universe.

Wolfstar & fanfic taught me not to have any prejudice. And I also discovered that I was quite prejudiced without being aware of it!

I can read anything with those two... just don't break my heart and just let them be together.

Wolfstar made me read again and actually enjoy it. It's been several thousands of pages in a couple of months and I don't regret the lack of sleep…

They are soulmates. In every universe. I don't know what this fetish is called but I need them to be together, see them together, read them together. Love them both. Just need them to be happy.

I am completely amazed at the sheer power the internet has, that an online community has. This is my new obsession and I am utterly devoted to it. It taught me and gave me SO MUCH. I will forever be learning how to give anything back.

Thank you.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Your blog is my guilty pleasure lol, it's so validating to read your very matter of fact rebuttals after years of being talked over & down to in the fandom. Being in the fan space & hearing the way people talked about how much more "female gaze coded" Z/tara was made me feel like I was betraying other women by not liking Zuko or Zutara the way "real mature" women did.

Funniest thing is, when i watched the show as a kid as an older sister, someone with talent/skills that nobody else understood, a girl who felt she had to be mature all the time, Kataang instantly became my otp. Katara was living my dream of a fun, cute boy sweeping me off my feet, telling me I was special and going on a magical journey with me-- I had the HUGEST crush on Aang as a little girl. It was so lame growing older and hearing near constantly from the fandom how stupid and unbelievable the idea that Katara actually had feelings for Aang was, and how it's a "male" (aka: bad) fantasy, when honestly Zuko's angsty ass was far from dream boyfriend material in my opinion it made me feel gaslit fjhdidjskj.

Genuine Z/tara fans are fine, I totally get the appeal of the red/blue enemies to lovers sparks fly ship, but the meanest and loudest of your crewmates and the way they act like their tastes are the Correct ones has been just. ridiculous for many years. And why do those types always feel the need to start the conversation by bashing Kataang every single time?? I started with a positive opinion of their ship when I entered the fandom as a teen, even liked a few arts and whatnot as a "what-if," but all the nonsense has left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

So yeah, thanks for this space to complain about the experiences we've had lol. I've had one too many conversations about ATLA & how good it is interrupted with the other person going "well except for the Main Romance, that was shit and Z/tara should have been endgame" not to be Worn Out. Like if in their opinion the show is *perfect* except that One thing.... maybe the problem lies elsewhere?

Yup, that's definitely a pattern I noticed: zutarians are SO many and SO loud, that even though a pretty large part of the fandom disagrees with their takes (regardless of enjoying the canon ships or not) most of them just... didn't talk about it because they didn't want to be harrassed or talked down to or be hit with the "well, we are the majority therefore we're right" argument.

It's part of why I was innitially shocked at how much support this blog got. I thought I just gonna be in my own little bubble of the fandom, but nope, I got sooooo many messages of "FINALLY! Somebody said it!"

And looking back, I should've noticed something was off. There's a reason ATLA's ending was not one of these disasters that basically nukes and kills 90% of the fandom and live in infamy as one of the worst falls from grace ever, How I Met Your Mother style, even though both shows had the fan favorite ship not end together.

It wasn't just that one was well-written and the other wasn't (though that clearly affected the audience and critical reception of these endings, both at the time and through the decades).

HIMYM was a case of "The actual endgame ship was loathed by nearly everyone while the rival pairings were almost universally beloved."

ATLA was a case of "70% of the fandom likes this ship - of these fans, 25% are multishipers that also like the canon ships, 25% only like the ship in fanfic but don't actually want it to be a thing, 25% loves it but can accept it not being canon at point because they acknowledge it'd be rushed, and the 25% are the ones that would burn down Bryke's house if they could, so in reality only a fraction of the fandom didn't accept the Kataang/Maiko endgame, while the overwhelming majority was either happy about it or indifferent to it"

And that's without taking into account that Avatar got new popularity boosts through the years that lead to plenty of people that had Zutara being hyped up for years being disappointed when they realized "Oh, it was popular because of fanon shit, not because it actually would have made sense story-wise" or people who reached that same conclusion after rewatching the show.

I think that's why Zutarians have such a victim complex and want to pretend Bryke and Kataang/Maiko fans are "oppressing" them - they've been dominating the conversation for years, and not only got no results out of it, they're now losing that "leverage" too. They're no longer in an echo-chamber, they need to use actual arguments that make sense if they want their opinion to be almost universal and they just can't do it because their ship was never that good to begin with.

[lover-of-mine]

Hi, hi, hello, here I am again to sound insane about buddie. First, is this speculation? A meta? A canon adjacent fic idea I don't have the skill to execute? Wishful thinking? All of the above? I'm not sure, I just saw a pattern and my brain came up with something very elaborate that I will now tell you about. Also, maybe read this first because that connection is the one that pushed this into place, and if you want more thoughts on Buck and death.

So, if you're new here, I live in a delusional land called they casted Ryan with a plan that recently added a neighborhood called did they tell Ryan Eddie is Buck's endgame? so I'm always looking for something to prove me right because I refuse to believe someone accidentally set up what could be the slow burn to end all slow burns, and I found an interesting pattern after watching Abandon ‘Ships and things escalated. 

But the thing is that Buck and Eddie's relationship is tied with the concept of death. Both of them have very intricate relationships with death individually, but together too. I was thinking about the “we might end up real close” as the very dark joke Buck was actually going for, with the way if that grenade had gone off, there would be no telling them apart in the blast, but it got me thinking about the way Buck is signing up to die with Eddie. They both walk into that ambulance knowing they might very well not walk out, and the fact that they did, is what makes them bond. The wording of “you can have my back any day” is very interesting to me because Eddie is not saying “I will take care of you” he is saying “I trust you to take care of me” and that's a real intense thing to say to the coworker who was picking a fight with you half an hour before. But they bonded over a promise of keeping each other alive that they were forced to keep over and over again. 

And a lot of major changes in their relationship start with a deadly situation. They could have died pancaked on that building after the earthquake, and after that Chris got introduced into their dynamic. The truck explosion had Eddie reversing into being a medic to treat Buck even though it made more sense for him to be using his strength to help lift the truck. The tsunami started the realization that Buck loves Chris like he is his kid, and also had Eddie explicitly affirming the trust he has in Buck. The well made Eddie change his will. That warehouse fire on Buck Begins, Eddie is the first one to Buck's line and he's also waiting for Buck after he gets checked out. Buck saved Eddie's life during the shooting, the will reveal also established how well Eddie knows Buck. They got held at gunpoint together and Buck's automatic reaction to the gunshot is to run towards it because Eddie might be in danger. Buck broke Eddie's door down to help him after his breakdown that was triggered by death, and Buck also had a moment where he thought he would be finding Eddie's body. And Buck actually gives Eddie hope after it all by giving Eddie a good thing about the situation that led him to get shot. 

We established this pattern, but I want to talk about the lightning in more detail because, unlike any situation before, Buck actually died. Eddie doesn't hesitate to go up what's basically a wet lightning rod to get to Buck after the strike even though he had been thrown off the truck, Eddie also performs CPR even though he was driving the ambulance, and it is Eddie shocking Buck that gets his heart beating again. It's almost as if he was, I don't know, welcoming him back to the world of the living? (Ba dum tss lol this is mostly a joke but please keep this in mind)

So we have Eddie literally bringing Buck back from the dead. But Buck is not ready to deal with the consequences and implications of what happened to him, which is understandable, I guess, with his relationship with life and death, but Buck not dealing with it makes it so Eddie won't fully deal with it either. 

Buck is a passively suicidal savior baby and Eddie is a widower. If Daniel didn't get sick Buck wouldn't have been born and Eddie is the last one standing. And that's a lot about how they deal with death. Buck acts as if he's not looking for death but doesn't mind if death finds him and Eddie is burdened by the people he couldn't save. And the thing with Buck's death is that Buck realized that he does care if death finds him and Eddie thinks that since Buck is alive, he doesn't get to feel the grief for the time Buck was dead, not fully at least. 

So they were at a very interesting point where Eddie is constantly around Buck, and is the place Buck runs to when he gets overwhelmed, and Buck is extremely off balance over the fact that he did die this time and he's not sure how to feel about it. But since Buck wasn't ready to look at everything about his death, how he felt about it, how it affected the people he loves, how it took away his coping mechanism when it comes to being in danger since his reaction was always “but I didn't die” or “I didn't get the worst of it” because he did die and he did get the worst of it, so Buck finds a safe place to hide where he can look at his death through the eyes of someone who wasn't affected by it. 

I was always curious about why the cemetery scene happened in a cemetery. Why Buck and Eddie are visiting the grave of someone who didn't die on their watch. Why a conversation about Buck's feelings about death and wanting to forget it happened, happened in a cemetery. And the location of the conversation ties the conversation to the concept of death in the broad sense that keeps tying Buck and Eddie together. Not considering the breakup aspects of the conversation, the cemetery scene is actually about Buck running away from the way death made him feel, he is drawn to this person who thinks death is cool, so he won't have to see his death as a tragedy and now I also think there is a layer about making Eddie realize he needs to let Buck accept what happened before he can help Buck past it. 

In the locker room, Buck is talking about death as something that got boring since it was all Natalia ever wanted to talk about. We will never know the original plan for that relationship, but considering the focus on her being a death doula, I feel like that was always the point, put Buck in a space where he can look at death as something that's not scary anymore. But the scene also ends with Eddie welcoming him back to the world of the living. Eddie has ridiculous survival skills, Buck survived a lot, yeah, but Buck always ends up in these life-or-death situations by accident. He choked on bread, the bomb wasn't aimed at him, the blood clots were a very unlikely complication of the surgery he had on his leg, the odds of getting caught in a tsunami are ridiculously low, and he got struck by lightning. Eddie was out at war, he was targeted by a sniper, he saved his own life on the well, and he tries to pull people out with him. He has now learned to live with the way everyone he saved on that chopper died, but he even blamed himself for the one guy he couldn't save that time. Eddie is not afraid of death, but he is afraid of being the one left alive. Buck on the other hand is almost afraid of what it means that he is alive. So Buck's passively suicidal tendencies, something that Eddie deeply understands about Buck “you act like you're expendable” are something that scares him. Because pre-lightning Buck doesn't really care if he is alive. And since Buck wasn’t ready to talk about what dying did to him, Eddie doesn’t know that Buck now may want to actually live. He doesn’t know that Buck chose to come back, that he fought for it. 

But if death is now something boring, Buck can actually do something about being alive because he wants to. He can actually be in the world of the living because he wants to be, because he believes he has the right to be. He can actually find a place where he doesn’t believe his life matters less. 

And when it comes to Eddie, with the focus on Shannon that we got recently, he can also find a space where he’s not trying to find her. Accept that she was a big part of his life, accept he will always miss her, and find something new. 

Oliver and Ryan have been talking a lot about vulnerability and Buck and Eddie leaning on each other, and with the locker room conversation, their relationship with death individually and together, the fact that the cruise disaster is on the horizon and while we know Buck and Eddie were filming in cruise and out in the sea they are barely in the promo of it, my own Buck will drown speculations (you can read about that here), and the general they will be in danger on the cruise feelings, I think that could mean Buck and Eddie are moving to a place where they could be a couple that works. There’s a lot of talk about the friendship aspect of their relationship and we’ve seen that a lot in the first episode already, but they are chilling in this space where they can talk to each other freely, and getting Buck to a place where he wants to be alive for himself not for what he can offer other people and Eddie to a place where he accepts the people he couldn’t save without it narrowing the way he deals with his relationships. I talk a lot about how Eddie overcorrects, and one complaint Shannon had was that he wasn’t all the way in with her, so he goes too fast with Ana and might be doing the same with Marisol because he’s trying to fix that mistake with someone else, but accepting that what he has with Buck is its own thing that works, and all he needs to do is be open about what he wants could be the push that puts him in the path of loving Buck fully, the same way Buck just goes along with things because he mostly believes he shouldn’t be alive, so why should he want things, so to have Buck get to the place where he realizes that he has what he wants right on his reach, he just needs to ask for it is ideal. 

I made this edit not that long ago, and it’s almost a poem, about how Eddie doesn’t think what he has to offer is enough, so he won’t say what he means, and Buck thinks he needs to settle for what he’s offered, so he won’t ask for more, and how that’s an immovable object meeting an unstoppable force, and they need to move off that impasse for that relationship to work. And being in the world of the living together and finding the little things that make them happy along with all the tragedy that surrounds them, can put them on that path. 

Their whole relationship is about keeping each other alive, Eddie straight up offers Buck a reason to live, why can’t they just find a way to make each other feel alive?

I said up there about how Buck signed up to dying with Eddie by going in that ambulance, and with everything about Buck, Actually (i recommend you read this for Buck actually thoughts about buddie) and how he latched on to the way Thomas and Mitchell died together after hearing about the life they had together, it's important for Buck to realize that point is not to die together, but to have the life together, and I feel like Buck is in the path to understanding that, and Eddie is ready to be happy, this could be it.

They could be learning to be alive together and finding out they want to be together.

As always, if you read this, I love you 💜

[aihoshiino]

chapter 152 thoughts

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 9

Aqua Hoshigan Status: White??!???!?!?

WELL DAMN. OKAY. LET'S FUCKING GO I GUESS.

With the End Of The Play… miniarc? interlude? wrapping up, Oshi no Ko officially confirms we're in endgame territory and slams down on the gas to barrel full speed towards its conclusion. This chapter was definitely a mixed bag, but I didn't dislike it and I SURE CAN'T SAY IT WAS BORING AT LEAST………….. It reframes a lot of things that lead up to it - I suppose that makes 'recontextualization' the keywork for this chapter, then.

The return to the volume 1 interviews in this chapter were kind of a surprise LOL. Given that the anime trimmed all but Ai's, I kind of took that as an implicit confirmaton that they weren't really that important so it's a bit of a jumpscare to see Gotanda (& Aqua's) revisited here. That said, revisiting them here is more about clueing the viewer that we're caught up chronologically with those flashforwards and thus that everything from this point on is officially uncharted territory, so I still do think cutting them from episode 1 was the right call to make. I don't think it causes any plotholes or incongruities since these interviews are really kind of incidental in the grand scheme of things… also let's be real I don't think any of us are expecting the anime to get that far into the story, even if I would give my left leg to see the anime team work their magic on chapter 137………………………….

That said, it's pretty fucking rich for Gotanda to try and talk big about the movie not being fictional when we heard from the horse's mouth that Abiko and Yoriko just fucking made up the dynamics of one of the most central and pivotal relationships in it out of thin air lol. Not only that, but like…

15 Year Lie is a movie with a pretty clear narrative. This by itself is natrual and expected. Narrative is the shape in which the human brain most readily accepts information but to create a narrative about something is to fictionalise it. Even when it's a narrative about real events - because narratives are, themselves, fiction. They have cleanly defined beginnings and ends, arcs and the promise of neatly packaged payoff and catharsis that is impossible to achieve in reality. To create a narrative about Ai's life in any form, let alone in a movie made for mass general audience consumption, unavoidably necessitates reducing her to a fictional character to observe rather than a fellow human to understand.

Which is… you know, horrifying! Fucked up and ghoulish! It's exploition of Ai in death just as she was exploited in life and I really wish the Movie Arc had actually focused on that uncomfortable undercurrent. This was, after all, supposed to be a movie about Ai.

BUT ANYWAY, CAST SCREENING OF THE MOVIE… we get some detail about reactions to the content but even as characters are literally talking about the movie and Ruby's extremely important role in it they just conveniently avoid discussing the content of it. But surely with all those important scenes that were set up and with the public release of the movie and Kamiki's side of the story to tell, we'll get some more details, right??? [audible copium huff]

Akane's tearful reaction is interesting, though. They're specifically singled out as not being to do with the content of the movie and her expression is a bit ambiguous - you could read is as resigned or relieved just as easily. I think she has clearly recognized something about Aqua's revenge in the movie which prompts that reaction but who even knows what's going on with akane at this point lol. sure not akasaka.

The girls all ragging on Ruby's acting was also kind of… like, yeah, remember when Ruby not being a good enough actress to carry a whole movie was kind of a huge issue??? The fact that this is resolved by everyone saying "yeah it was bad but idk aqua made it good somehow" was kind of silly lol.

I do really like Melt stepping in to stick up for Ruby, though - because yeah, of course hearing that would probably bring up some bad memories for Melt…! I also like that he doesn't try to shallowly flatter her or butter her up - he's frank about where she still needs to improve but hones in on the part that really matters. He really is a good kid.

That said, him sticking up for Ruby and her glomming onto him and calling him 'Master' (ししょ/師匠, shishou, as in the master of a craft addressed by their disciple, in Japanese) does kind of highlight that the MLRB mentorship that got set up in 144… went nowhere??? We can assume by Ruby's response to him here that it happened offscreen but it really does feel like a total waste of time to have spent what was effectively an entire chapter on setting up a new character dynamic that just didn't happen. Like… really, in hindsight, what was even the point of that chapter other than to establish that Melt… was also here??? I guess we still have the final arc for that to resolve into something but.

It just kind of sucks because I think a MLRB friendship could be really fun! I think they have the potential for a good dynamic and there's some really interesting parallels between them both that are ripe for farming. At this point, it's probably way too late for us to expect anything to come of it, so I can only daydream……..

tho it is really funny to me that at this point, since 143, ruby has had more meaningful on panel interactions with melt than she has aqua. What Did They Mean By This.

Gotanda and Kaburagi's talk that followed also left me with pretty mixed feelings. As expansion on/closure for Kaburagi (and Gotanda to an extent), I think this was fine… there's just a few little details that bother me, I guess.

On the one hand, I really like Gotanda's frank admission that there's no way to know whether the movie really captured the 'real' Ai. This is another thing I've talked about over and over during the Movie Arc but nobody making this movie is really in a position to be making that call - the only person who really could is Ai and… well, she's not here anymore to advocate for herself. Seeing Gotanda acknowledge that does scratch some of what was left unitched by this thread but…

Eugh. I don't know. Something about this movie, which is about Ai's life, Ai's tragedy, Ai's final push to be shown to the world as she was and to potentially be accepted being made to be about Gotanda's regrets just feels kind of icky to me. Maybe it just feels especially bad because it feels like 15 Year Lie has become more about every other character involved than her. I'm sure people are sick of me complaining about it, but it really does feel like Ai as a figure of emotional importance to this story is getting increasingly downplayed and dismissed and…… just feels bad, I guess!!!!

Kaburagi's side of this conversation is a lot more engaging, at least. This does tragically represent the end of my Secret Villain Kaburagi Theory and I feel decidedly mixed on the story choosing to frame him so sympathetically… but on the other hand, I do like how this implication of guilt and sense of responsibility reframes basically all his prior actions in the manga. It seems to confirm that he clocked Aqua (and thus by extension, Ruby) as being Ai's child right from the start and explains why he was willing to go so far in pushing their careers along at little benefit to himself - it was out of atonement to Ai.

that panel of young kaburagi and baby ai having lunch together. fuck, man. the fact that she took the burger out of the wrapper like she does in viewpoint b………….. babygirl i loev u so muuuuchchchchchchhchchchchsjsjsskasklsndkdkd

and……………………….. now it's time for aqua's interview. Jesus Christ.

I like the recontextualization of Aqua's interview here and the way we see This Mysterious Interviewer gradually pick apart his responses. I especially got SUCH a thrill out of his 'I won't love anyone' schtick being called out as the bullshit it is - one of my first really meaty OnK metas was of Aqua's interview segment specifically and I zeroed in on this sentiment specifically as being a lie that Aqua was trying to project and seeing the text back that up makes me a very happy Claire

But more importantly though… what Aqua has to say after that makes me particularly excited.

First of all, let's get it out of the way: KAMIKI JUMPSCARE!!!!!!!!! It seems implicit that he was the one doing all the interviews which is very fucking funny considering his presence in the movie itself, but I'm not entirely sure it changes or adds much other than giving Aqua the opportunity to death note speech his ass.

What is fascinating to me about this talk is what it implies about Aqua. Every time we've seen his revenge play come up before this, the very strong implication is that Aqua intends to die at the end of it, either by Kamiki's hand or his own. But here, face to face with the man he's dedicated his entire life to ruining, Aqua doesn't just state his intent to get revenge but his intention to reclaim his future by doing so. We've gotten some pushes towards this since 150 but this is the clearest declaration of his intent to finally seize hold of this second chance and fucking live it that we've gotten out of Aqua… honestly, ever!

And accordingly, we see Aqua return to his white hoshigans here. I don't necessarily know if I want to call this slam dunk confirmed but this WAS really exciting to see given how it falls in line with my interpretation of "white hoshigan = hope = future" and "black hoshigan = despair = futurelessness". Everybody has been spending the last few chapters basically begging Aqua not to throw away his future and hurt the people he loves just to chase his revenge and it does seem like they're starting to get through to him.

Is this development kind of rushed? Honestly, yeah! I would've loved to see this explored more from properly inside Aqua's POV and it feels especially abrupt given how hard he got ignored all during the post-123 section of the Movie Arc. But at this point, it just feels so fucking good to see Aqua say out loud that he wants to have a future, that he wants to finally move forward and live that I can't bring myself to care. I just want him to finally be happy!!!

that said how fucking funny is it that the closest thing aqua has gotten to therapy in years is from his estranged father, a serial killer

break next week…!

[tiredassmage]

veilguard thoughts!

rook + solas parallels edition

spoilery ofc because my head's not full of cotton balls today and i haven't stopped chewing on it all since i finished the game! so! this is a little endgame heavy; you've been warned for what's below the cut <3

the final first playthrough counter has come in just over 67 hours and i am all but physically holding myself back from launching right into another one with another rook because i had a blast. i'll concede it was a bit heavy on the exposition in the first several hours, but what followed has certainly won my heart, and i think the game is visually beautiful.

but i'm not even looking to do a full review here, but i think one of the most fascinating things this game did was set up rook and solas. so, two parts of preface then: one, i was a little determined to love this game and hoped it would at least perform decent. that's my spite about it, lol, but that's not the point, so we're not here about that. two, one of my admitted concerns when they had first announced this game having its own protagonist was... that i wasn't sure there was another person to finish solas's story other than the inquisitor, and this isn't a solavellan thing for me, though my beloved canon inquisitor is a lavellan. solas's friendship wasn't the biggest hitch in inquisition for me, but it was important to my inquisitor. he wanted to prove his friend wrong.

i don't believe hallaren had a plan at the time for how to achieve that. he wasn't sure it was actually possible to convince solas the dalish were not as lost a cause as he seemed to believe, but he had to try.

and when i started veilguard, i wouldn't say i'd have anticipated the parallels of solas and rook, nor how well they ended up working for me. i admit: they got me. i didn't see that twist coming. and the hindsight of losing varric from the beginning makes a lot hurt (i say that as a compliment). i think it's easy enough to explain why i didn't see it, why (my, at least) rook didn't puzzle it out, but i also readily admit i'm historically bad at seeing these kinds of things, so you're free to be amused on your own time, lol.

anyway. regret. not becoming what you hate, what you claim to fight against. not being beholden to what you were or what you've lost. the game hits these beats several times, and i think its a real beautiful repeating thing they've done if you hammer all the companion's stories with the main deal, and i did the memories of the dread wolf as well. rook and the inquisitor have a conversation about it that about touches on all of it way more eloquently than i could summarize.

and, of course, part of the reveal is solas did dabble with blood magic on the matter of varric's death, did set rook up for the level of regret and grief they must settle with to trap them in the fade - a prison fit for gods, a prison fit for a god's regrets.

and this is where i transition into blorbo-specific thoughts. because i think part of what fascinates and delights me so much about the rook and solas, potentially two sides of the same coin deal is how tyr's relationship with solas starts and then develops.

tyr does not trust solas from the outset. which i think is where a very interesting presentation of similar (at their roots) choices begins, as varric says: in a bar, as all good stories. one of the first story notifications we get is how rook chooses to handle the bar owner: charm your way out, or a more direct approach, and we're told varric takes note of this.

varric's own plan is an appeal to solas's nature. to talk his way out. as is varric's way.

normally, i'd call tyr the kind of character (having played with him as an oc in various medias for oh... going on 2 years, is it? maybe 3? time's fake, different post) to also prefer talking his way out. but he doesn't believe solas will listen. so he rebukes varric's plan of just waltzing up and charming him with his babygirl eyes.

then at d'meta's crossing, he spares the mayor. not because he doesn't hear the concern that the greedy bastard will fall to said greed again, and not out of an entirely conscious mandate for live with the consequences of your actions, but... in hindsight with other choices, i'd argue it's... from at least a little of that kind of place.

he tries and fails to reason with the first warden. several times. in the heat of weisshaupt, and with the recent conversation with solas about whatever it takes on his mind, he ends up decking the man. the stakes are too high for risking the first warden staying on his high horse again if another attempt at reason fails, is the driver of the decision.

i'd chewed for a while on how that would seem to make tyr's commitment to "talking things through" indicated by that first choice in the bar inconsistent. it all seems justifiable at the time, and he didn't get to the place with the first warden he was out of intentional malice, but he still wound up there.

much of that is natural by the circumstances he was presented. by making calls with the information and under the conditions that were present at the time, as anyone, not just rook, would have to do under such circumstances, if they traded places. sure, some of it is also by solas's engineering of his conversations with rook. by setting them up to be a leader asked to make those hard calls. maybe even for arguably goading them a bit into a situation where whatever it takes was their only feasible option. which neve has a great comment on:

this is, i think, most directly about varric's death, but also, personally, i have to say is applicable for solas's intervention during blood of arlathan.

so, back to blorbo for a moment. tyr begins from a place that mistrusts solas's motives. the I'm quoting you here, "lies, treachery, and rebellion" kind of mistrust. and then, as things progress, as the team unveils more about solas's past in the crossroads and through the murals, it circles back to what I think motivated much of his comment to varric that talking with solas wouldn't work: that even if solas has any regret for what's happened, he's too stubborn to concede, too trapped by the mistakes of that past to ever admit fault, to hear himself sound like the 'gods' he claims to despise. tyr continues to take solas's advice into consideration the whole time, true, because it's... hard to discount the only potentially close to the problem kind of advice and knowledge they don't... exactly otherwise have themselves. he's not sure what the other shoe dropping in that equation is going to look like, but he's more convinced it'll happen than he is entirely happy with the situation.

the murals create... a hunch. or develop it. that rather than just being too prideful about the harm he'll cause by tearing down the veil, that solas is trapped in this plan by his regrets and guilt for actions of the past. at that point, tyr... has a better understanding about how they got to this point, but it kind of only solidifies his reservations that solas might actually be reasoned with.

the one moment this is changed, then, is during blood of arlathan. because frankly i think that was one of the worst experiences tyr has in the entire game. elgar'nan's influence in their minds, and an incident where they're trapped with no conceivable way out and potentially facing down an archdemon again, not so long after weisshaupt that the losses have stopped aching.

whatever his reasons or motivations and whatever else happens, solas saves their lives. tyr can't find a way around that one, and he's not even certain he wants to. because it's one of the definitive moments where he didn't have a plan, and he was terrified the tables had finally turned against them, and they'd fail.

it's not... trust. but tyr's also spent all this time working with his team on this concept that change shouldn't exactly be beyond anyone if there's a little effort put in. and whatever his own feelings are, varric wanted to believe in his old friend, and so does the inquisitor - both people he respects greatly, and he's constantly calculating their desire for a better outcome into the rubix cube that is trying to figure out how to stop the gods.

the problem then, is that solas all but instantly takes advantage of this... lapse. this faint relaxation of tyr's guard against his manipulations. that whole little incident with the fade after ghilan'nain's fall is all but immediately after, and its a betrayal nearly thrice or so over in rapid succession: that varric's been dead this whole time, that solas has manipulated him and how he feels responsibility for the team and the regrets that arise out of having to make hard choices, especially in times like these, and then on the other side of the fade, that solas has gone to minrathous, solas is playing "hero" about it all in tyr's and the shadow dragons' backyard. and to add salt to the wound, in minrathous, it's been blood magic all along.

and, y'know. solas says sorry, says he won't tear down the veil by his own hand, but hands rook the weapon to do it for him. sets them up again. so maybe that's more like... four or five times, depending on your count and categorization of it all.

and rook has a choice about all of this to make, a certain level of peace they have to make with it all to even get out of the fade. and how much to follow varric's advice about don't become what you hate - what you were fighting all along, or trapped by what you lost.

here's tyr's opinion that solas has more than likely been beyond reason because he's too far gone on his own path to even see that he's done exactly that: that he talks like elgar'nan's control, he's just dressing it up in a different way. that he's trapped by what he's lost and sacrificed and admitting that will be too much.

and here's tyr's inescapable bitterness of having been betrayed, of having spent so long trying to be careful with the god of trickery only to have danced right to his tune the whole time. a fiery emotional response for a threat to his home, to minrathous that he's tried very hard to protect and leave a smidgen better than he found it in this whole fight.

by circumstance... and by a little of solas's own design then, rook and solas confront the same trouble of what sacrifice being a leader demands. what cost is too high? how much is too much?

i had the pieces at that point for the ending with mythal, but now i had tyr bitter and a bit more resentful about solas - in a kind of pain about betrayal that was still asking why? about it rather than worried about if regret was present or meaningful. which is where this came from in my head akdfnas;dfnsadf

you're both thinking it. and the endings directly focus on whether or not solas succeeds in tearing down the veil, but the thematic part of it, to me, was... do rook and solas recognize where they might be held back? does tyr act on the pain and resentment of betrayal and swing blindly at solas as repayment? or is it bigger than both of them? is it about posing the question to solas about regret? how much is it like what drove solas to this point to act on that resentment? is it just retaliation? or did either of them learn anything from that prison in the fade?

and that's what makes the parallel, and it's what sets them apart.

and that's how, still, in the end, i have tyr who is willing to choose trying to reason one last time. for the sake of the advice of an old friend. for the people that brought them this far, the ones who chose to believe against the odds. and maybe, even, a little bit for himself. a choice against letting regret and resentment rule.

for the sake of it and because i couldn't get this game out of my head, i checked out the other endings, just to see, and i... think i like sticking with convincing him the best for both of them.

the trick with the dagger swap i think is the only other fitting course of action tyr might've taken from that point, and i think some of its elements reflect similar beats here about... learning from the past, if you will.

the accusation of likeness to the gods is still there. the banter about wits. i am a fool who finally met his match. one might argue that's for underestimating rook, which... fair enough, but i think... it also falls in line with solas's regrets, the appeal to be made to his nature, the... want, in the end, to be proven wrong. to find a 'better' way, as once he suggested to the inquisitor, and as mythal's release from debt and rook and the inquisitor's forgiveness, if you will, finally allows.

and that is... very satisfying to have said between them, when it's been on tyr's mind the whole time. and... they can both be proven wrong this way: for tyr, that solas wasn't beyond listening, and for solas, that there was another way.

for both of them that they could move on from what these trials have made of them, what they have done, and what they endured.

and man... man that was good. and so, so satisfying. it worked, veilguard. you sold me on these two as parallels to each other.

and that's just... one of many things in this game that gave me a lot of emotions, but this has already been. a helluva ramble, so if you've made it this far, congratulations and i salute you, lol.

i'm sure i'll do it all over again and have even more thoughts about even more rooks to throw around and chew on with this and what it'll reflect about each of them and that's. MMM. that's delicious. i loved this game. if my brain and time cooperates, i'm sure i'll have more thoughts and maybe even some writings for it in the future, we'll see where the blorbos take me. xD

[bananafishdepression]

Sometimes I see people complaining about Ash and Eiji, saying how they are the definition of queerbait just because they don't do what you would normally expect a mlm couple to do

The thing about mlm ships is that they're too sexualised

You usually know the endgame when you see two boys having unexplainable sexual tension and it doesn't even take long to get them there, usualy by third chapter

Now, there are some good anime that potray healthy and normal mlm relationships, but people now mostly just read BL manhwa where relationships are mostly toxic or done for fanservice

And then fans like that decide to watch Banana Fish because someone told them they have a cute relationship (they usually ignore TWs but whatever) and decide to shit over them because they didn't even have a proper kiss like???

Do they need to fuck on screen to prove their love

Sometimes we forget that most of BL boys are young and sure, boys IRL do think about sex a lot but they also have feelings and want to love which most media doesn't show

Ash had trauma that could have been healed (maybe not comepletely, but enough to at least try and live a normal life) if he decided to live, but he didn't, and we can't just know what he would've done with Eiji if he went to Japan

Eiji is sweet and shy, we don't see much from his perspective, and we also don't really know much about him and why he was interested in Ash from the very beginning, you could describe it him being mysterious or it's just author's laziness lol (motives might be better explained in the manga where Eiji is a little more realistic to real boys)

And then you see those two just enjoying each other's presence and say YEAH THATS QUEERBAIT

???

When did it become unusual for two people to just enjoy having each other, it's not like you and your partner have this akward sexual tension moment every single second of your time lmao.

[legionofpotatoes]

All other criticisms of modern Star Wars aside, the thing that gets me the most is how every single story is being written to fit into some Avengers-level grand finale that just isn't laying a solid enough foundation to make it worth the wait. Regardless of whether the individual stories are good or bad, what makes them fall so short, imo, is that there's usually no real payoff within their own runtimes (unless you count cheap callbacks or loose promises of More, which you shouldn't)

Like, I already knew halfway through Ahsoka that we were in for a cliffhanger and it's just like...alright, guess we'll see how this ends in about 5 years? Even Mando, which had a great first season and was poised to stand on its own two feet and ride off on a rootin' tootin' bounty huntin' adventure, has ultimately become yet another dusty path on the road to the current Big Plot with an indeterminate due date. That's not deliciously addictive media, it's a dry-ass carrot on a spindly little stick, lol

Of course, this is a problem that many franchises are happily getting cozy with lately because everybody wants to have their own Infinity War / Endgame moment, but I guess it seems a bit more egregious with Star Wars because, ironically, it used to work best because it had less overall focus. Like, sure, we had concurrent movies, animated series, and games, but they were always happy to do their own things and tell their own stories with definitive conclusions. Now it all has to funnel into the Big New Plot and, man, I honestly just can't bring myself to care when it feels like an endless waiting game

I definitely need to get around to watching Visions at some point because, every time it pops up, it sounds like the lifeblood that Star Wars sorely needs atm

Yeah the setup-and-payoff a-to-b type dramatic clarity that seemed so entrenched into the very bones of cinematic grammar - up to around the emergence of streaming, wink wink nudge nudge - is sorely missed in star wars atm. sure maybe downsized writers rooms fidgeting with limited series formats instead of doing actual seasonal TV has something to do with it, but even that is probably such a small piece of the larger issue that spins all this longform storytelling bullshit ferry wheel around.

Another part is certainly chasing the MCU business model of it all like you said. Carrot on a stick is verbatim how I've often described these things myself, the endless promise of another promise of another promise instead of forming a complete thought with a beginning and an end. servicing the plot before story at all costs. another part still is reverence towards the aesthetic trappings of the source material instead of its themes, trying to nail the exact texture of tatooine's huts and dial in the perfect balance of lightsaber choreography and pay homage to a thousand iconic shots before articulating something true in the text.

And like it's an endless laundry list, this confluence of capital-I Issues both industry-scale and creatively-driven that seem to be flaying the skin off the bones of whatever star wars even "is" nowadays. no one can answer that in the context of billions of dollars made off toys and storylines centering around this one moment in fictional history about sons and fathers and empires and rebellions. so they just keep twisting in the wind filling in any gaps within that period. I don't know nonnie, it's all so bleak. ahsoka and obi wan and even mando tbh. as charming as season 1 was, it truly felt like it coasted on its incredible restraint to avoid muddying its aesthetic with cameos, and lucked into effective storytelling as a result of that utterly unintentional alchemy. that's obviously well and truly gone now as its true optics have reared head.

what star wars is by itself is such a pointless discussion, right? andor argues it's a perfectly functional heightened universe that can support incredibly nuanced and dramatically charged stories of grassroots rebellion and the bureaucratic strain of fascist regimes. visions argues it's a world beholden to the force, an endlessly mutable and elegant metaphor that can support infinite monomyths and fairy tales. both are equally fantastic at executing on their takes, despite being in diametrically opposite extremes of interpreting the source. so it's not really about that at all, why the other stuff sucks this bad.

they're just bad at the craft of it, that's really it. whether it's auteur worship or business decisions rotting that fish down, it still rots all the same. maybe the new writers' guild contracts can shift the winds a little, because I was so securely done with star wars and then the aforementioned 2 shows came and affected me. so, so profoundly that I'm back on the hook again. like a lil sucker!

[blush-and-books]

oh also! you’re a film major right?.. what did you think about the direction on the show?? and what do you think abotu the fact so much of donna and harvey is Hidden from the audience like we never see what the can opener thing is and when they spend the night in s3 we never actually see them kiss like he leans in and the door closes in front of the camera

HAHA!! yes i am a film major with an actual degree now lol. but let's all take my thoughts with a grain of salt.

i don't have any grand thoughts on how the show is directed, because it's always felt pretty basic to me lol!! the shots are very simple, the composition never goes too crazy (but sometimes i will say they do kinda eat some shots however overall it's incredibly one-toned), and tbh that's very typical of a show like Suits bc it's somewhere in between "network procedural" and "adventurous legal drama."

the fact that so much of donna and harvey is hidden from us is likely a combination of deliberate action, and whatever the fuck is going on in that writers room. The can opener thing reminds me a little of the character Maris Crane from Frasier - if you're unfamiliar, she's the wife of one of the main characters but she's never EVER shown on screen and we never hear her voice, she's just talked about in increasingly alarming descriptions (multiple facelifts, fragile and little body, etc). All of this is to say that the can opener thing suddenly becomes a bit where the writers are probably like "it would be funny if we reference it and build on it but we never have to decide what it actually is, so that we can escalate it as much as we want." first it's the can opener, then there's thumbtacks involved, and then there's supposedly a record amount (two dozen? three dozen?).

the choice to never show us their real first kiss in the other time is definitely absolutely deliberate. at this point in the series, i don't think it was locked in for donna and harvey to be endgame, so there was a lot of room to toy with the audience. they build us up with their flirting and talking about hooking up but they're going to deny us the satisfaction and leave us wondering - where does this really go? and do we really want to see them kiss for the first time in a flashback?? that's a big moment even if it's a past event, so they wouldn't want to just dump it on us in a way that's less meaningful than how it could happen in the present timeline.

id love to hear more things you think were hidden from the viewers!!!

small other bit of cinematic analysis: something that has started to irk me in my rewatchings of various episodes and getting stills for the edits i've been making is the series lack of solid two-shots between donna and harvey. so many of their interactions are just filmed in a shot-reverse-shot (back and forth between shots of each character over the shoulder of the other character as one of them speaks) and there is like SO MUCH INTIMACY that can be made just by putting them in a frame TOGETHER. and it's not that they never do this, there's some great examples, but I've found there's scenes between them that just could have benefitted from having both of them in the frame and not just cutting back and forth. if you'd like more explanation on this i will get stills from other series as well and demonstrate but it's a very little nitpicky thing honestly

thank you for this ask!!! send more when the mood strikes 🥰🥰🥰

[scoonsalicious]

you're such a wonderful writer and i hope you are doing great 💖

wanted to ask you, how do you write this type of topics that are hard and difficult? what did you feel while writing for chapter 23, 24 and 25?

i hope to know more about you as a writer and your methods because it has been mind blowing reading Unwanted

Thank you so, so much! I'm doing great! lol

So, I originally started writing an answer to this question that more specifically aligned with what you asked, but the more I thought about it, the more I kind of wanted to delve into what this story was supposed to be, what it turned into, and what it was like creating it. This is probably way more info then you every asked for or expected, so I apologize, but just rewatched Endgame in the name of research and I'm crying like a baby right now, and feeling pretty emotional, lol WARNING: This is going to get heavy. So, Unwanted was never actually supposed to turn into what it was. It started with this really simple image in my brain. Reader (not yet named) undercover, working at a strip club, and Bucky showing up to annoy her and get her flustered. She's unhappy to see him. Why? They used to sleep together, but she hates him now. What happened? In the original story, Bucky and Pocket never fell in love. They were best friends, and became FWB. A new Avenger is recruited (Jade was originally named Sage, and then Jewel, before we got to where we are), and Bucky goes on this Russian mission with her and sleeps with her. He comes back dating Sage and distances himself from Pocket, and she's heart broken, because she feels like she'd just been used, and now that Bucky had a new set of holes to fill (Pocket's words, lol), he didn't need her anymore. Then, she gets assigned to this mission in Atlantic City (that part-- the missing women, the trafficking, was always the plan), and uses it as a chance to get away from him.

But then something IRL happened that actually ended up changing the entire course of the entire fic. A little backstory: When I was a child, I was sexually abused by a neighbor/family friend for many years. I didn't have the language at the time to explain what happened to me, so I never told anyone. I changed, going from a really happy, outgoing kid, to being really withdrawn and anxious; it basically destroyed my soul. This, of course, was back in the early '80s, where CSA wasn't really discussed or understood the way it is now. The signs were there, but my parents didn't know they should have been looking for.

I thought I got over it. I thought I processed and dealt with it and moved beyond it, and I grew into adulthood. But in reality, I was just building a mask. But then, in February of this year, while I'd already been working on the fic for several months under the aforementioned plot, something happened: My young nephew started showing signs that he may have been abused, as well, by either his nanny or someone the nanny had exposed him to. My brother and sister-in-law recognized the changes in him immediately, and did everything right. This triggered me, and it was pretty apparent that I had never processed my trauma-- I'd just repressed it. And everything came rushing back. I suddenly had immense anger toward my parents for failing to protect me, for not seeing the signs, for forcing me to interact with my abuser for years and years. It was misguided, and I recognize that, but I never allowed myself to process the emotions at the time, and was kind of starting over from scratch.

So, Pocket, in a lot of ways, became me. I gave her extremes of what I experienced so she could help me work through things, to help me process everything I was feeling, that sense of abandonment, not being able to trust people, the inability to form real relationships because I don't know how to be vulnerable. And I gave her some of my characteristics: from about ages 15-25, I was addicted on and off to opiates, and in college, I started drinking excessively to numb my pain, to the point where I have liver and kidney damage from it. I gave Pocket my use of humor-as-a-coping mechanism, my penchant for swearing, and most importantly, I gave her my pain, my hurt, so that she and I could get better, together.

So, when I write Pocket's spiral in Chapters 23-25, I'm writing an exaggeration of every spiral I've ever had, because, I figure, if I can get Pocket through all of that, surely I can get myself through my own shit, right?

I'm sure it wasn't the answer you were quite looking for, but it's the best way I can explain how I, and Unwanted got here. And as for my nephew, fortunately, after a State Police and Child Protective Service investigation, it looks like he was never actually sexually abused; for that, at least, I'm grateful.

[raveneira]

I just don't get why Ikemoto is drawing AND writing at the same time..... Like it would've been better if Kodachi stayed and wrote the story, Or Kishimoto continues it (which btw he wants vacation lol). Kodachi/Kishi wrote the better story and they had the vision, on the other hand, Ike's writing is literally a fanfiction lol.

Btw, do you think we still have hope for KawaSara, cuz it's looking too rough now? Don't get me wrong, I still ship it, but Idk what to expect lol....

Yeah, whats worse is its not even Ikemoto's fanfiction, he's literally taking actual fanfic/fan theories and makin em canon, and you cant even say its impossible because in the interview he literally gets off track from answering a question to address complaints he was seeing online to defend himself 😭 so this man DOES look at fandom feedback, so theres no way you can say its totally a coincidence that so many fan theories became canon EXACTLY as they predicted it, theres just no way.

Once or twice you could say that it was a fluke, but this is way more times than one, and the fact that he pretty much confirmed that regardless of fans justified complaints about certain things he will ignore them because 'he likes it that way' so ppl will just have to deal with it.

Meaning having any hope of him taking any of the valid criticism to improve is gone, whatever he likes is what hes gonna do, even if it goes against what even Kishimoto himself wants/wanted because it is HIS story now and Kishimoto has no intention on intervening since hes happy spending time with his family now and isnt ready to let that time go again yet, which is understandable and I hope he takes as long a break as he wants or needs, I just hate that his legacy is being tarnished in the meantime because greedy higher ups WOULDNT let the series die and Kishimoto get a break like he asked for.

The story really did peak under Kishimoto and Kodachi's writing direction, the second the story shifted entirely in IKEMOTOS direction you saw the quality DROP and the story become a directionless convoluted inconsistent mess.

As for if I still have hope for KawaSara...to be honest I dont know anymore, the reveal that Ikemoto is 100% writing and that Kishimoto himself doesnt even know where the story is headed anymore and is just as much a reader as the rest of us, and even if he does give input, he lets Ikemoto have the final say, has gotten me unsure of what to expect anymore.

Under Kishimoto and Kodachi's writing they were pretty strongly hinting at building more on Kawaki and Sarada's relationship, his bond with team 7, to really drive home his betrayal later so that it'd have some real weight and impact from all their build up. So the potential for KawaSara was very high from what they were setting up.

But Ikemoto? yea I dunno what to expect from him, but if where the story direction changed is anything to go by [which Ikemoto confirms was all his doing and its a completely different direction than the one Kishimoto and Kodachi had planned] its safe to say hes tryna push bsa, either that or troll like a mf just to keep those viewers engaged since this manga is tanking more and more every chapter and the biggest supporters are shippers who just wanna see Boruto and Sarada get together for eugenics.

I wont say KawaSara has lost yet or that its hopeless, the ship hasnt been definitively killed off yet, theres still a possibility this is just another NS situation, teasing what the ppl want just to keep em readin till the very end where he finally says alright now for the real endgame once he no longer has anything to lose by pissing off bsa lol

Even if Im unsure about KawaSara at this point in time, Im still fairly confident in BoruSumi even tho alot of ppl have written her off just cuz she doesnt have a hug scene [NH doesnt either anywhere in the manga but NS does] or a reckless attempt at saving the other [according to KK Sarada and Boruto both would've died if not for the other shinobi arriving when they did so she didnt even save him fr so this argument is invalid]

They also downplay her feelings just because shes more reserved and rational than Sarada, which is kinda the point of opposites attracting and balancing eachother out [Minato being the quiet calm level headed one while Kushina is hot headed and loud] whereas Sarada and Boruto are both portrayed as hotheaded rebels apparently, their kinda the same person atp but thats another topic for another day.

Point is KawaSara is up in the air, but BoruSumi shouldnt be counted out yet, lack of screentime and interaction didnt mean jack shit for NaruHina, SaiIno, or ChoKarui, so lets not pretend its the ship killer for BoruSumi.

Lets also not pretend that SS didnt also go through one hell of a rough patch cuz they did, and they still became canon in the end, so again lets not pretend these things are ship killers alright because they aint, the real meat of the story hasnt happened yet, and Kawaki is supposed to be getting more development soon so lets see how that goes and who its with first and judge further from there.

[theropoda]

...... i have. PRAWBLEMS. with the ending but honestly i felt very unwell and gross rn so i had difficulty focusing in the first place, maybe if i watch it again when i feel better ill feel different. under read more bc this got long lol

disclaimer before anyone GETS at me: i am not a critic. im literally just some guy watching a tv show, and i am really more confused than anything so if you really enjoyed the finale and feel like it was the perfect way for the show to end im happy for you! i don't have any intent on arguing it Absolutely Wasn't. this isn't a Hatepost. just me airing my thoughts. that are probably really incoherent bc again, i feel unwell ;_; brain is more focused on my stomach than this damn show

i knew how this was gonna end, i did watch the end of this show before, ive always been familiar w house because i watched episodes of it on tv as a kid with my mom and sister and knew major plot points like amber's death and wilson's cancer and house faking his death and everything but. the details were lost on me. now that i know the details something about them just doesn't jive with me and feel right.

probably related to my earlier post about how even in the final season so much of house is the same. he tried to change for the better but he was still back. i mean the entire premise of the show is about "the disabled addict doctor who struggles to be a person" so if any of these magically stopped being there that'd be stupid ESPECIALLY him being a disabled addict which are so central to his character. so im definitely not complaining about that.

initially i thought him faking his death was insanely reckless but what other choice was available. if he went, Hey, im here! im alive he'd absolutely be going to jail. in jail so far away while his best friend, maybe his only friend would be dying alone. of course he did that. his only choice was ttofake his death to be with wilson. throwing away his whole life and legacy and career and reputation to be with him.

hilson endgame real but also, while watching the whole show i kept going from "tumblr didn't lie these guys are gay" to "Tumblr may have oversold it a bit". but that might just be in the nature of its episodic structure. not e everything is abt wilson there's other people in house's lofe but in that final season everything does speed up, suddenly and become about wilson. which brings me to the whole cancer thing. in my memory of the show from watching it as a kid, Wilson's cancer came up as a plot point WAY earlier and there is much more time to discuss it in the show. to ponder and delve into it, what it means for wilson, for house, for the show. but actually watching the show it feels very sudden....! i felt like the entire cancer thing, which plays so damn heavily into the SERIES FINALE, wasn't explored enough...? it felt rushed. but it might feel like it because well there's a difference between watching a show as it comes out on a schedule vs binge watching it on demand.

and another thing that irked me is- but this is more of a "this personally makes me Feel Sad and Weird" as opposed to genuine criticism is how EVERYONE thinks house is dead except Two People. that's crazy. i have a Thing for closure and knowing things, the truth, im a little paranoid about that, but it just feels insane to me that house's own parents, family, former and current colleges, lovers, everyone... they all think he's dead when he's not. i see how that is, in terms of the Narrative, a good thing? house is truly FREE now. and if other people knew they'd probably call the police. but also that's just kinda horrifying.... I don't know. idk. also wtf cuddy wasn't there at the funeral? D: obviously i know how their last meeting went but they were such big part of each other's lives im rlly shocked she wasn't there! or even showed up at ALL in the ending scene where we see where everyone's life has headed, a little scene of her, Rachel, and someone new

and also. ._. how did that fire even start in the first place?..... did i miss something....? uaaaaah. i should watch it again

ugh but despite my peeves. i want to pass this off as Just another show ive watched, time to move on to the next, because a big part of the reason i started house and kept going and even chose to watch it at the times i did was because i have been going through some rough shit mentally for the past. entire year plus. i have relied on it to keep me distracted. i want to just move onto the next distraction but i have become so attached, it's hard to not feel :/ and :( about 1) the fact it's over now 2) it ended in a way that makes me feel funny, and not in a good way. aaaahhhhh.

[harocat]

I find lots of people who are into Cdramas have what I can only describe as “celebrity brain”. They only really watch shows that have their fav actor, always want the character played by their fav to be the endgame romantic choice (even if it goes against character and theme), and seem to hinge their mental health on whether a show with their fav does Big Numbers. Fans of male actors tend to have misogyny problems too, but I think most people who run an account dedicated to a Chinese celeb could afford to take a step back and remember that they don’t actually know these people

Yes it's very stan culture centered. This is one of the reasons I like Cdrama tumblr better. It feels like it's more about actually enjoying the shows (and yes, sometimes the actors), then endless forced promotion, discussion of heat indexes, fan wars, etc.

People have their faves here, and they share news about them, pics of them, etc. They go out of their way to watch their dramas (or at least attempt to if they end up bad lol), and they're happy when they're successful or popular. They share info about accolades and awards.

But most don't make that their whole viewing experience. They aren't becoming keyboard warriors for some dude they don't know and will never know. They're here because they love dramas, not because they have an intense parasocial relationship with an actor or actress.

The way the Wang Yibo blackface discourse morphed from people rightfully calling him out, to the WYB super fans taking over the conversation and making it more about how antis are using it to hate on him is such a good example. Now discussion of it is rebuked with 'oh no don't give the 🐜 more fuel to hate him', and that sucks. I don't give a fuck about antis. I care that WYB did blackface in his movie, and that pisses me off!! They're over there like 'I know in my heart of hearts WYB could not be racist' as if they've ever been within the same wide vicinity of him in their entire life.

With the Dylan thing it's so wild to me because:

he is the male lead

he is the endgame romantic choice

They're pitting him against the female lead for what reason?? They're not rivals. It's giving misogyny, and the fact that they can't handle a woman standing on an equal level with him (she was first billing because she was more famous at the time, yes, but she's also just as much the lead. LBFAD is pretty balanced in that respect). She must be below; both the character and actress. She must be the less popular and important character!! We are going to restructure the narrative of Love Between Fairy and Devil in our minds so it's entirely DFQC's show.

This same person was complaining about the Xiao Lanhua being a goddess storyline because it makes her too important and makes DFQC 'pitiful' (totally out there to me; every other Cdrama fan I know eats it up when a man is pitiful). Like, people would not care about Dylan in LBFAD, and he certainly wouldn't be getting acting accolades, if he were cool all the time in it. It's the pitiful moments, the emotional moments, that make people love him.

It's not even just LBFAD though. I saw major Dylan fan accounts undermining Bai Lu and cropping her out of pics when promoting Only for Love.

I think Esther and XLH just get it worse, because let's be real, LBFAD is good, their chemistry was undeniable, the show was huge, and regardless of how close they are now (we have no idea), it's obvious they were really good friends when on set.

[maya-matlin]

hiiiii ashton <333 I know we've talked about it before but I recently was on a video and saw some comments that angered me and you know I ship leyton and brulian too but I just wanna hear your thoughts because you always give the best ones!! why do you personally prefer brucas over leyton? why don't you ship leyton? and what do you think about the comments from people saying how leyton were always supposed to be endgame even though s2&3 it certainly didn't feel that way!! and about the comments saying that chopia breaking up had nothing to do with it even though they broke up before brucas actually got back together and they could've very easily not put them together after chopia broke up if they wanted to lol I'm just very curious about your thoughts and don't really wanna discuss it in messenger tbh this is easier so I get all your opinions lol I love you so much and you always give the best responses and answers when I ask you things!! 💞💞💞

I literally don't, but thank you for saying that 💙💙 First things first, I did ship Lucas and Peyton in the past. So on some level, I understand the appeal because I also fell for them when I started watching One Tree Hill. Truth be told, one day I just snapped out of it. Before season 6 even premiered, I was watching my season 5 DVD and finding myself frustrated with the LP story line while appreciating the dynamic between Brucas. Anyways, since then I've watched every episode multiple times and analyzed both by myself and sometimes with others why exactly I don't root for Leyton and prefer Brucas. To me, they're representative of a lot of tropes that will never be my favorite. Meant to be from the pilot couples are always going to be a hard sell. The chemistry had better be something special and the ongoing story needs to be more than, "I immediately know you better than everyone else in your life after having a handful of conversations." There are always exceptions to this rule. Sometimes I fall for the ship fast (Stelena, sorry). Other times it takes until nearly the entire first season or until the second (Ephram/Amy from Everwood, Max/Liz from OG Roswell, Spelivia) for me to get past the beginning and appreciate what the couple is at the heart of it. Needless to say, this sums up Leyton (derogatory). So much of their connection is told to the audience rather than shown. From day one, it's automatically clear that this is the couple to root for. Their only real obstacle, Nathan, is a comically terrible, borderline abusive boyfriend, so the fact Lucas in early season 1 is the anti Nathan pushes him incredibly hard as Peyton's ideal match. Once Brucas starts up, there's an immediate difference in energy and chemistry. Both Lucas and Peyton take themselves so seriously. It's always deep feelings and angst and brooding and "oh, we want to be together, but the circumstances are just too hard." And meanwhile, it's only like episode 9. Brooke has deep feelings and her own insecurities, but on the outside she doesn't take life super seriously and is someone who acts rather than internalizing everything. Brooke's influence on Lucas's life feels like a breath of fresh air. Lucas begins to loosen up and see that there can be more to life than his preconceived ideas of how the world works and how everyone should be acting. On Lucas's end, he encourages Brooke to develop her intellectual side and see that she has so much more to offer than being the life of the party and someone who gets validation from sleeping with a lot of guys. Lucas is the first person Brooke wants to get serious with. Even better, this is a story line we actually get to see play out. When Lucas and Brooke talk about what they like about each other, it all tracks because we've been watching their attraction bloom and seeing how in a lot of ways, they're at their best together. Sorry, this is getting long. This is all solely based on season 1. By the end of the season, Lucas and Peyton cheat for the first time. This sadly becomes a pattern for them. Brooke is emotionally devastated. And though Lucas immediately seems to feel guilt over hurting Brooke, it takes him time to see how far he's strayed from the type of person he wants to be.

Season 2 is a massive gamechanger for Brucas. This is the first time they're truly able to be friends. Without the expectation of a relationship, Brooke and Lucas are able to connect on a deeper level. Yet again, this is something shown to us rather than told. This is the kind of relationship both took the time to develop. Much like in season 1, Lucas encourages Brooke to invest in her more intellectual, soulful side. Lucas himself works on being more selfless, taking the time to improve as a person. Unlike when Lucas pined for Peyton while she was dating Nathan and embarked on an affair during his first relationship with Brooke, this time Lucas allows Brooke's relationship with Felix to play out without any interference while still being a friend. Lucas is aware of his own feelings, but he also knows how badly he hurt Brooke in the past and has no reason to think a second chance is even a possibility. When Lucas kisses Brooke after months of close friendship and opening up to each other emotionally (albeit with Brooke understandably on guard post cheating and Lucas hiding his rediscovered feelings), it feels earned. The third season is a mixed bag. At its best, season 3 Brucas is a perfect mix of seasons 1 and 2 Brucas. Both seem to be equally emotionally invested in the relationship working out and view each other as basically their endgame. But the fun and the lightheartedness exist, as well. Brooke is still someone who brings light and fun to Lucas's life. On Lucas's end, it starts to get murky as the show gets closer and closer to the shooting episode. After spending so much time veering away from the possibility of Lucas and Peyton together with emphasis on Lucas's love for Brooke, the strength of the Brooke/Peyton friendship and even how Lucas and Peyton are actually able to be platonic, healthy friends themselves, everything gets destroyed so that the show can return to Leyton. On the one hand, it's not as though it's totally out of nowhere or implausible because again, the narrative went so hard in Leyton's favor during the first season. But at the same time, it doesn't feel believable to me when it finally happens. Lucas seems to flip flop from getting past his breakup with Brooke to declaring Peyton is the one he wants next to him when his dreams come true in mere seconds. The writers LOVE to make Lucas in denial about his feelings for Peyton. Past the first season, we don't get Lucas pining for Peyton. We just don't. We got Lucas pining for Brooke during season 2 and part of 3 and even Lucas wanting Lindsey back after she leaves him at the altar, but for the lion's share of LP's history, it's Peyton desperately wanting Lucas and somewhat being willing to sacrifice everything just for the chance of being with him. So because of this, Lucas becomes an almost passive love interest where he's told over and over again what he should want and what his true feelings are until he just kind of.. says fine, choosing Peyton. That alone is why I prefer Brucas. It's the more compelling story line and relationship. Plus, the chemistry.

And I hate to do it, but this vs this:

Chemistry is unpredictable, always up for debate, and shouldn't always be the deciding factor in what a person ships. My shipping preferences have been all over the place in this area. But when the writing is lacking and the chemistry isn't really selling the story either, these moments that are supposed to be powerful and come across as passionate somehow come across as phony and put on. In my opinion, Chad and Hilarie had buddy chemistry while Chad and Sophia had the passionate, in love type of chemistry due in large part to literally being in love and married in real life.

As a viewer, I really resent being told that Lucas was simply denying his true feelings for no other reason I can think of except maliciousness when he spent basically two and a half seasons wanting Brooke over Peyton. The romantic relationship with Lucas and Peyton during seasons 4 and 6 seems like the healthier option on the surface, but it comes back to how I feel about Lucas as a passive love interest and Peyton's arc being so wrapped up in whether or not she gets the guy. This is pretty much spelled out towards the end of season 3. During a conversation between Brooke and Peyton, Brooke confides in Peyton that during Lucas's absence she realized that she wasn't as reliant on his physical presence as she thought she'd be. From Brooke's perspective, all this means is that Brooke is somehow capable of loving and being happy independently of the man she loves. But on One Tree Hill, this is supposed to imply Brooke either doesn't truly love Lucas, is falling out of love with Lucas, or that Peyton loves Lucas more because she doesn't desire independence outside of him. It's a gross message to say the least. This brings me full circle, back to season 5. Between seasons, Lucas proposed to Peyton and broke off the relationship when she didn't accept his proposal. Objectively speaking, not the worst thing in the world and a valid thing to do if this is a deal breaker. But this causes the Lucas/Peyton relationship to be heavily imbalanced and in Lucas's favor over Peyton's. Lucas stops feeling like the kind of person who follows his heart and more this desperate guy who wants to marry someone to the point the bride doesn't actually matter. If I go along with the idea that Lucas was in love with Peyton throughout the intervening years, throughout season 5 and for the entirety of his romance with Lindsey, what does that say about Lucas? One, he's the kind of guy who is so out of touch with his own emotions that nothing he says should ever be trusted. Or two, he's an asshole and will willingly commit himself to another woman under false pretenses just because he didn't get what he wanted from his first choice on his terms. Peyton's love for Lucas is meant to be undying and unconditional, causing her to behave in such selfish, desperate ways. Lucas, on the other hand, proves that his affection for Peyton is very conditional. He's not willing to compromise. He doesn't want to wait around for Peyton to catch up with where he is.

And in the mean time, Lucas bouncing between Peyton and Lindsey actually means season 5 Brucas is a very good alternative for Lucas. It's all very unspoken, but the chemistry and the connection between Lucas and Brooke never goes away. Much like in season 2, the possibility of romance is very much off the table. Brooke returns to Tree Hill not to win Lucas back, but because she misses her hometown and sees herself settling down there. Because nothing is being pushed on either end, it's much easier for adult Lucas and adult Brooke to be friends in a way that's impossible for Lucas and Peyton. They're able to relate to each other outside of high school and their past romance. A flashback reveals that Lucas was the first person Brooke told that she wanted to have a baby. During the time Brooke is taking care of Angie, Lucas becomes the kind of person Brooke can depend on and lean on for emotional support. Even outside of season 5, there's a consistent theme of Lucas being the best, most selfless version of himself with Brooke. It's as though Brooke's influence in Lucas's life mixed with their season 1 history almost demands that Lucas be better when they're together. Both Brooke and Lucas are in the place where they're looking to settle down. In a moment that's kind of a contrast to season 3

Unlike in season 3 when Lucas was trying to fight for Brooke but kind of clueless when it came to working out what she wanted from him, this time Lucas realizes that no matter how strong Brooke seems to be, she needs him to show up for her. There will always be endless potential for season 5+ Brucas, in my opinion. Their strong bond and complementary desires for a future shine through even as the narrative reminds us over and over again that Peyton is the one who loves Lucas most and that anything that isn't about Peyton is merely "denial" or Lucas "hiding his heart." Anyways, Lucas literally fantasizes about marrying all of his major love interests, Brooke included. The dream sequence wants us to believe Brooke and Lucas want very different things, making them fundamentally incompatible. The entirety of seasons 5-9 disagrees with this, but Lucas still ends up with Peyton.

When it comes down to it, I don't like the people Lucas and Peyton are around each other. As friends, it's mostly okay. They certainly share common interests and Peyton lacks the trust issues Lucas's other girlfriends have considering she's always the other woman. But.. so much of their love story comes across as incredibly forced with so many holes in it. Their arc throughout the first six seasons does NOT hold water. Peyton isn't allowed to be a fully fleshed out person with goals that don't perfectly align with becoming Mrs. Lucas Scott. Lucas holds all the cards, resulting in him becoming far more selfish and almost childish in the way he acts like season 1 Lucas who is still butthurt his crush didn't want to commit to him after one make out session. Even in the final season, I don't see much if any growth. It's the final season for both characters and the show played out the beats of broken up Leyton, so they're put back together. So much of what happens between Lucas and Peyton is heavily reliant on the idea of everything coming full circle without any regard for how one or both have changed since then. Brucas doesn't have this problem. If nothing else, Brooke and Lucas's relationship goes through multiple changes, with each phase feeling much more mature and deeper than the one before. Even though their past and Brooke's trust issues are recurring problems, their actual dynamic always remains in the present.

As for your last question, I'll never know for sure what discussions were like behind the scenes circa seasons 2 and 3. But based on how season 2 played out, I think there's a very good chance the endgame shifted. The underlying tension and romantic affection between Lucas and Peyton was completely gone. Lucas realized he wanted to be with Brooke and never seemed to consider Peyton. Even Peyton, who has ambiguous moments that refer to possible feelings for Lucas even before the shooting, doesn't have this during the second season. She spends far more time pining for and loving Jake. When Peyton expresses displeasure over her relationship with Lucas, it's that he hasn't been the kind of friend that shows up for her emotionally. Lucas's response to this is to bring Jake back to town LOL. In terms of season 3, it gets confusing. Chad and Sophia didn't separate until multiple episodes into the first half of season 3. Meaning, the groundwork was already being laid for Brucas's failed friends with benefits/casual relationship to become a deeper romantic one even before Chad and Sophia split up. But at the same time, Lucas's friendship with Peyton was also being prioritized again with more references to their romantic past coming up outside of Brooke's insecurities. So with that in mind, it seems like LP was a possibility even as Brucas was rebuilding their relationship. However, I think the Chad/Sophia split permanently closed the door on any legitimate Brucas once their season 3 arc was completed. Personally, I don't think Peyton ending up with Lucas was set in stone until the end of season 3. Had Chad and Sophia never split up, I definitely think we would have seen another round of Brucas at some point because the chemistry alone would have demanded it. Plus, the gross producers capitalizing on the real life Chad/Sophia romance. In a universe where Chad and Sophia never broke up, my gut says Lucas ends up with Brooke. But nothing is 100%. To sum up my thoughts, I think there was a plan in place during season 1. I think another plan emerged during season 2. In season 3, the endgame was literally up for grabs. But Chad and Sophia's breakup sealed the deal.

I love you, too! I'm so sorry for making you read all this.