bananafishdepression - Tumblr blog

bananafishdepression · 3 months ago

Text

Bring it on Home to Me - Ash/Eiji Oneshot

A thanks to @holographiccs (who I bullied into reading Banana Fish) for imitating Ash's gang and their New York accents with me and inspiring this fic! <3

A03 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59433925

Summary:

Eiji heard Bones say it when he was posted outside their apartment. A friend of his had stopped by and asked both him and Kong out for a good time. Loudly. Loud enough for Eiji to hear in the kitchen. "Can't. We're guarding the boss' girlfriend." * Eiji finds out he's known as the boss' girlfriend - and he doesn't hate it. Ash should hate it - but he doesn't, either.

Word Count: 4,156

Bring it on Home to me

"Can't. We're guarding the boss' girlfriend."

Eiji’s stomach twisted. He stopped chopping vegetables - realised he was cooking Ash's dinner, like a girlfriend, and his stomach squirmed again – and looked to the door. It was closed; they probably didn't even know he'd heard.

What else had they heard? Had they heard him and Ash? Was that what they really thought about them? It wasn't not true, but it wasn’t true, either. He didn’t know what this thing was between him and Ash. He was already too soft for Ash's world, that had been made clear. The implication that he was his girlfriend didn’t sit right with him.

It hadn't been said with any judgement – not like they hated or looked down on him for it – just as a matter of fact. Not even, Eiji thought, as some kind of joke. He thought that was worse. Definitely worse.

He didn't feel like cooking up a nice, homemade meal anymore. He scooped the chopped vegetables into a bowl, and put them back in the fridge. They'd have a couple of TV dinners, or takeout, instead.

Bones came in, not long later, to catch his show on the ridiculously large TV Ash had brought. He always did, even though they were both meant to stay outside. It was their secret, between Eiji and Bones.

"You ain’t making dinner?" Bones asked, as he clambered over the back of the sofa to collapse into a heap on the too-firm cushions.

"Not tonight," Eiji replied. He picked up the book on the side, as though he'd been reading instead, but Bones wasn't even looking. He was already helping himself to the remote, and flicking through the channels.

Eiji watched him, for a moment. He thumbed through the pages of the book. His voice came out much smaller than he wanted it to: "The boss'...girlfriend?"

"Huh?" Bones craned his neck to look at him. "You heard that?"

Bones' voice carried; Eiji heard most things he said, though it was mostly him and Kong chatting about nothing. "It's just – I'm not – it's not—"

"It ain't about girls or boys," Bones said. "A girlfriend's the one who keeps house for you. Who you come back to after trouble."

Eiji still didn't think that was the right word. But maybe this was some new American slang he didn't understand. "Oh."

"It's a good thing." Bones smiled, showing his sharp canines. "And being Ash's girlfriend? Gives you a hell of a reputation."

Because Ash had a hell of a reputation. Because Ash was a gang leader, and he had the respect of most other gangs around New York. Did they all know him as that? As the Lynx's girlfriend?

"I'm not Ash's," Eiji said, because his stomach hadn't just squirmed, it had somersaulted, at that thought. He did not want to be just the Lynx’s property.

Bones tilted his head to one side, frowning. "That ain’t bad, either. I'm Ash's. Kong's Ash's. We're all Ash's."

It was as simple as that to him. He followed Ash, so he was Ash's. And Eiji supposed he could try and deny it, but he did the same thing. Stubbornly stuck at Ash's side until he'd stopped telling Eiji to go back to Japan. Didn’t have any plans to leave him, any time soon.

He was Ash's, he realised, through and through.

"Right." His voice was distant, but he didn't think Bones heard anyway; his show had started and that always hypnotised him. Eiji took his book to his bedroom, heart thumping. It was something, he realised, that he'd known for a while. He'd known it, but he'd only just realised it, and it felt overwhelming. Just how much he was Ash’s.

He sat on the end of the bed, and wondered what Ash was doing right now. Gang business. Dangerous business. And Eiji was the one he came home to – who he’d chosen to come home to. They didn’t have to live together, alone, here, but Ash had chosen that, and Eiji hadn’t argued. This was Ash’s safehouse, and that Eiji's job was to be there, when he came home.

His mind didn't settle to read. He flicked on the radio, and shifted restlessly, waiting. Thinking about fights and guns and gangs and realising he didn’t know much about how it worked at all.

Ash called from a payphone, to say he was on his way back. Eiji called for takeout. It arrived minutes before Ash himself, and he had to sacrifice a handful of fries to Bones and Kong when they saw the delivery boy. They clapped Eiji on the back as they said goodbye, then stopped to debrief with Ash in the hall. Eiji couldn't keep up with their conversation; their words were too fast, and their accents too heavy. He leant against the doorframe, and watched Ash's expression; that tense, serious expression he had around the gang. His eyes glinted green, his jaw set.

It relaxed, when he met Eiji at the door. Softened. His hands found Eiji's hips, and he brought him close for a hug. Eiji's arms went around his neck automatically and he pressed closer. Smelt of sweat, cigarettes and smoke. It was unpleasant, but it was Ash's.

He pulled away, ghosting his lips over Eiji's cheek. "Honey, I'm home."

It was a joke. It had started as a joke and because of Ash kissing him in jail. He still teased that they were together, like that. Every time it made Eiji duck his chin, and laugh, cheeks warming. Americans were too free with being intimate.

Ash was too free with being intimate.

He stepped away, not seeming to realise Eiji hadn't responded, and saw the paper bags sat on the table.

Eiji leant his back against the door to close it. "Sorry, I—"

"It's alright." Ash looked back at him. He raised an eyebrow, smirking. "I'm not going to beat you with my belt for not having a roast on the table after my day at the office."

It was another joke, but Eiji didn't laugh. He could see why the boys thought what they did. Ash noticed. Tilted his head to one side; his hair fell with the movement, gold in the artificial light. "Seriously, don't worry."

Eiji bit his lip. He wondered how to tell Ash about what Bones had said – wondered if Ash knew – if Ash called him that, himself. Wondered if he’d see it as another joke, and Eiji didn't know if he wanted it to be. Didn't know how he could even word it.

Ash stepped forward, again. His hand grazed Eiji's arm; brushed his hair behind his ear. It was genuine, and he looked up.

"What's up?"

Eiji tangled his fingers in Ash's. Took a deep breath. "The boss' girlfriend."

Ash frowned. "Huh?"

Eiji looked at their joint fingers. Ash's looked like the colour of ivory, against his. How was it that this boy could spend a summer outside in New York, and not tan at all?

"That's what they call me," he said. "The boss' girlfriend."

"Ah." Ash paused, for half a second. "Right."

"I don't hate it," Eiji continued. His voice came out much smaller than before. "At least, I don't think I do. It's – the food will go cold."

Ash let him get away with that. "Right."

But he didn't drop his hand, as he crossed to the table. Not until Eiji had to step around to the other side, and he absolutely had to. His fingers fell away, slowly. Then he was pouncing on the bags and pulling out the burgers and fries, smiling like a child.

"No weird Japanese dish tonight?"

"Sometimes I think you really are just an uncultured American," Eiji replied, and for a moment, it was just like normal. He unpacked his food. Caught Ash glancing up, smiling at him. A soft smile that made his heart squeeze.

But Ash saw through him. "This is because of what Bones said."

Eiji nodded. He helped himself to fries, chewing slowly. Ash ate like he hadn't in a week; like he was barely tasting any of it. Eiji picked at his own food, steadily.

When Ash finally came up for air, he said, "It’s not your cooking. Just – this food is predictable, you know?"

"Predictable?"

"You know exactly how it's going to taste, because it's come out the machine that way."

"I don't think it's all made by machines."

"It's – safe." Ash met Eiji's eyes, his were shards of emerald, then away again. Back to his food. But there had been something in that gaze; something vulnerable. It was the same kind of vulnerable he'd seen at Cape Cod; that glimpse of Aslan Jade.

It felt like a peace offering. Ash had offered up that, about himself, because Eiji had mentioned the girlfriend thing. Probably looked vulnerable too.

Ash was weird about food. He'd noticed that. Noticed that sometimes he ‘d eat like he hadn’t in a week, or didn't eat at all, or would only pick at his food. That the other boys would eat three or four hot dogs back to back, and Ash would find a subtle way to toss the rest of his out. Eiji didn't press about it. He’d do his best to push Ash towards eating more healthily.

He continued steadily through his own meal. For once, Ash finished long before him.

"I'll tell them to knock it off," Ash said. "I've half a mind to bash them."

"You...didn't say that, then?"

That there was this thing between them. The same thing as in jail; in that road trip across America; in Ash lying in his lap in the middle of the night. They were joint by this thing. They weren’t just friends; they were something more.

"No, I didn't." Ash's mouth twisted. "They're idiots."

"They aren't," though Eiji's protest was half-hearted.

Ash raised an eyebrow, unbelieving, and Eiji had to look away, biting his cheek in case he started laughing. He liked Bones and Kong, but he understood why they were often stationed outside his safe apartment building, where nothing happened, as opposed to the real work Ash had done today.

The work Ash had done today. The work that left him smelling like gunpowder. When Ash was like this, domestic and teasing, it was hard to equate him with the feared gang leader – whose reputation Eiji had by association.

He gathered the trash from their meals together, and threw them away. At least he didn't have to wash up tonight – and that was another part of playing house, wasn't it?

When he looked back, he saw Ash examining the back of his hand. Even from where Eiji stood, he could see the knuckles were red, starting to turn purple and blue.

"You've been fighting," Eiji said, automatically getting the first aid kit from under the sink. It was replenished nearly weekly.

"It’s nothing," Ash replied. He left his chair untucked, and flopped onto the sofa. He went over the arm, lying lengthways, and Eiji wondered if any of these boys were capable of sitting normally.

He crossed over, with a bag of peas. How many times, he wondered, could you refreeze peas before they were no longer safe to eat?

Eiji tossed them to Ash. He caught them without looking, and pressed them against his hand. Eiji perched on the arm of the sofa. Ash's hair flopped over his face, but he saw him wince at the ice.

"Bones..." Eiji swallowed. "Bones didn't make it sound like a bad thing."

Ash didn't answer, immediately. "That right?"

"He said – a girlfriend – is who you come home to, after a long day at war," Eiji said.

Ash smiled. A slow, unconscious smile that sent a rush of warmth through him. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Ash sat, properly, his back against the arm of the sofa, his knees drawn up. He nodded to the empty space. Eiji slipped onto it, aware of his elbow knocking against Ash's knee. The touch tingled.

"And Bones didn't say what you did after a long day at war?"

Eiji's cheeks felt hot, at the suggestion. "I don't think he knows about that kind of thing."

Which made Ash chuckle. His knee bumped Eiji again, and he but his lip. It felt mean to laugh at Bones, but it was easier than this thing, and he loved making Ash laugh like that. He chanced a glance at Ash from under his bangs, only to see him watching Eiji closely. It sent that wave of heat down his neck.

"And – do you?" Ash's voice was soft; soft enough Eiji suspected he could pretend not to have heard, if he wanted.

"I..." He traced the gain of the sofa with one finger. "I have an idea, or two."

"Yeah?” Ash sat up further, leaning forward. “Care to share?"

He'd turned to Ash, and he wasn't sure when he had. But now his face was only inches away.

"You mean – demonstrate?"

Ash smiled – smirked – and Eiji's stomach twisted. "Only if you want to."

Eiji wanted to. He wanted to, but then it wouldn’t be a joke, anymore. Things would change. Still, he didn’t wouldn’t back down. Ash had that effect on him; made him want to rise to the glint in his eye.

He leant forward – didn’t let himself hesitate – and pressed their lips together. He felt Ash’s part, like he was surprised Eiji actually did it, before he kissed back. He moved slowly, as if he was savouring it, one hand sliding into Eiji’s hair. The bag of frozen peas fell to the floor with a loud thump.

Eiji shifted, so he was securely between Ash’s legs, hands on his knees to steady himself, as he kissed him back. Only pulled away when he felt lightheaded, and not far enough to see Ash clearly.

“That okay?” Ash whispered.

“If that’s – if that’s okay with you?” Eiji replied.

Ash pulled away. Eiji let him, though he was still very aware of how close they were; how he was pressed between Ash’s legs. His lips tingling. Ash raised a hand, brushing Eiji’s bangs from his eyes. His fingers trailed over his cheekbone, green eyes examining him. Eiji stared back, heart pounding. There was everything, and nothing, to say. Ash made a noise, then stopped. Tucked Eiji’s hair behind his ear.

“I like coming home to you,” he murmured.

Eiji felt heat rush through him, like he’d just sunk into a warm bath. His hands had moved, he didn’t know when, to Ash’s shoulders. “I like you coming home.”

Because Ash had been fighting, and he may only have come home with bruised knuckles today, but he could easily come home much worse. Eiji kissed him again, pressing their foreheads together.

“Please come home, Ash.”

Ash took a breath that Eiji felt against him, pressing his hands against the small of his back. Pressed him closer, until they were inches apart. He nodded, his hair falling over his eyes. It hid his expression. He pressed his mouth against Eiji's cheek. Properly, this time, lashes brushing his skin.

Eiji held Ash back. Felt his spine, his shoulder blades, and Ash's mouth moved to his temple. Kissed there, too, and then tugged him down so he could rest his chin on Eiji's head. He let him, falling ungracefully against Ash's chest, their legs tangled on the sofa. It wasn’t quite big enough, for this. They were very close. Closer than ever before, and this time, it was serious.

He didn't want to pull away. Listened to the steady beat of Ash's heart under his ear. His fingers reached up to curl a blonde strand around his finger.

"I'll try my best," Ash murmured.

"I'll hold you to that." And he felt Ash's chuckle as a rumble. He shifted, to look at him, their faces so close that Ash's eyes were a sea of green. "I promise, Ash Lynx."

"Well—" Ash kissed him. Long, slow and savouring and Eiji felt as though he was melting. "Then I can't let you down."

His voice was soft, like a purr. He pressed kisses to the corner of Eiji's mouth, trailing down his jaw. Eiji twisted Ash's hair in his fingers. This was earnest – so earnest and reverent, that it made his chest ache.\

He kissed Ash back. Kissed his temple; his cheekbone; the hollow of his jaw, and felt Ash's breath catch under him. He drew him even tighter against him, so there wasn't even room for that. They lay on the sofa, hearts beating against each other.

His eyes half-closed, and he didn't mind the smell of sweat and gunpowder. It was Ash's smell. This felt right, Eiji thought. Thought perhaps he was Ash's boy, after all, because this felt like where he belonged.

"So, who started it?"

Ash leant against the bar, and did his best glower at Alex. Made sure to sweep said glower over the guys standing around, so they all knew he was bothered by something. Bones ducked behind Kong; maybe he guessed what was up. Eiji, though, was in the thick of it, being taught how to play pool.

Alex smiled, but he looked tense, too. "Started what?"

Ash tilted his head and raised his eyebrow. "Started calling Eiji the boss’ girlfriend?"

Alex's grin stiffened. He swigged from his beer bottle, either buying for time or building up his courage. Ash didn't relent his stare.

"Ain't it right?" Alex eventually asked.

Ash huffed, taking a drink himself. His was an excuse to look over at Eiji. He was concentrating hard, lining up a shot, his brows together. He was biting his lip, and it made Ash's stomach twinge. Adorable.

"I never said that," he said; it came out much too defensive.

Alex shifted. Glanced across at him, and Ash stayed scowling. It was half the job of being the boss – he had to be imposing – had to have his respect and reputation. That was how you survived in New York. That was what Ash loved about New York.

Alex leant across, looking straight ahead, probably watching Eiji too, as he said, "You didn't have to."

Ash's stomach twisted. He watched Eiji as he took the shot. A ball fell into the pocket. The boys cheered him like he'd won the game, clapping his shoulders. Eiji laughed, the low lighting casting a halo on his hair. He looked like he was glowing, from the inside out. Those dark eyes found Ash's.

He looked away. "That obvious, huh?"

Alex half-laughed, like he wasn't sure if he'd get hit, if he did. "Yeah, boss, that obvious."

That was bad. Ash finished the bottle, and lined it up on the bar alongside the others. Beer wasn't his drink of choice, but it was what they drunk here, so he did too. At least it filled him up.

"It ain't him," Alex continued. Conversationally. "It's you. The way you look at him."

"Well, shit," Ash said it on reflex, like he'd dropped a glass or missed a shot. Like it was an accident. It was an accident. Being around Eiji was making him soft. He knew that, knew it particularly when they were alone together, but he hadn't realised it seeped through to everywhere.

He glanced up just in time to meet Eiji's eyes again; stood at the side of the table, with his pool-cue held like a staff in front of him. He smiled.

"I gotta smoke," Ash said. Snapped. Headed through the back of the bar. Stalked through, so that Bones leapt back out of his way. The lynx on the warpath.

He tried not to think about how that would seem to Eiji; for him to storm away just after being smiled at. But he needed space. Needed air. Needed to slam the door to the tiny courtyard and fumble for a cigarette in his pocket. He lit it with fumbling fingers, and leant against the brick wall.

Said courtyard was a square of cobblestone, surrounded on all sides by tall buildings, a hodgepodge of brick and stone, fire escapes twisting around them like ivy. Just a patch of sky at the top, and the light pollution of the city meant no stars or moonlight got through. It cast everything yellow.

Ash took a deep drag, and let it out slowly. The smoke drifted into the night air in a gray ribbon. His muscles relaxed, his mind numbed.

Alex pushed open the door. He leant against the frame, and watched Ash. He didn't look away from the patch of night, but held out the cigarette pack. Alex took it, and pulled out his own. Handed it back, and kept his palm out for the lighter.

Ash didn’t give it to him. He stepped forward, holding the lighter up to where Alex held the cigarette between his teeth. It was a challenge; to see if you flinched, at the flame so close to your mouth. If you trusted the person with the lighter.

Alex didn't flinch. His blue eyes held Ash's. The blue of new jeans.

Ash leant back against the wall.

Alex blew out smoke. "You know we don't mind, yeah?"

"It's not you." Ash held the cigarette between his fingers, and focused on the warmth of it. "It's – if you can tell, anyone can."

"Not anyone." Alex leant next to him, just as he did at the bar. There was no shaking him, and Ash thought he loved him for that. "But we can. Because you're different with him. You didn't beat him to a pulp for waking you up – things like that. We knows you, is all."

"And other people know me." Ash tapped the end of his cigarette, sending a miniature meteor shower to the flagstones. "Golzine knows me."

So if Alex and the boys – if Bones – could tell, Dino Golzine definitely could. Every time Ash went out with Eiji, he was parading his Achilles heel. If he was Achilles, he thought, as he took another drag, Eiji was Patroclus.

There was that painting. Achilles Lamenting the Death of Patroclus. An image flashed in his mind of Eiji, that pale – that dead – and his chest ached.

Alex didn't press for those details; respected Ash's privacy when it came to his past with Golzine – even those visits before all this Banana Fish business that were much too recent for his liking. Just why had it taken him so long to get out of there – completely?

Ash's smoke blew out shakily.

"We'll protect him," Alex said. "We won't let anything happen to him."

It already had. Ash had been there, in California, and he'd not been able to do that. Eiji had been taken, right under his nose. If Ash Lynx couldn't protect him, then what hope did anyone else have?

Now everyone knew he had a weak spot.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Yeah." Alex paused. Smoke came out his nose, as he laughed. "'Cos he's your girl."

Ash punched his shoulder. Enough to smart, but not to bruise. He took the final drag of his cigarette, and crushed it under his converse, as he headed back inside. Didn't correct Alex.

Came face to face with Eiji, once he was back inside the bar. Eiji, dithering with a bottle in his hand, and looking concerned.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, when Ash was close enough.

The dim lights made his eyelashes spidery shadows on his cheeks. Caught in his dark eyes, and if Ash looked long enough, he could map galaxies in them. There was something about Eiji Okumura. He was unreasonably kind and thoughtful and if Ash was feeling philosophical about it, he would say something about his innocence – that boy had never seen a gun. But it was that stupid stubbornness Ash felt drawn to, like a moth to a flame.

If they were alone, he’d kiss him. He didn’t think that was possible, even if the boys knew, because he didn’t think Eiji would want that.

Instead, he smiled. Flung his arm around Eiji's shoulders, and steered him towards the bar. Eiji let him. It didn't matter if anyone saw, Ash thought, because all the boys knew anyway. The knew, and they'd protect Eiji.

"Everything's fine," Ash said. Aware that he stunk of cigarettes, but Eiji didn't pull away. If anything, he leant into him slightly. "Just peachy."

He didn't think Eiji believed him. He didn't quite believe himself. He felt itchy, ready for an attack, like a guard dog. Eiji was in danger, because of him. Because it was obvious how Ash felt about him.

But the gang would protect him. Ash would protect him.

Eiji was his.

57 notes · View notes