#just a small thing to appreciate you and our friendship and those of our characters 🤎🎅🏼🥰😄

[floral-incantation]

Is the Sofia the First fandom… slipping away?

This fandom means the world to me. It’s more than just a place to share art or ships—it’s where I found friends, laughter, and a little corner of magic in the chaos of everyday life. But lately, the tags feel quieter. The Discord servers that used to buzz with chatter about Amber’s sharp wit or James’s clumsy charm now feel almost empty, like a castle after the celebrations have ended.

I miss the interactions with everyone. The late-night Discord chats that turned into mini celebrations whenever someone shared a new theory about Miranda’s past or posted another meme about Baileywick’s quiet heroism. I miss seeing the tags filled with debates over Amber’s redeeming moments, or people sharing how much James’s antics made them laugh. Those moments felt special because they brought us all together, and I really do miss that warmth and excitement.

I know people are busy, and things naturally fade—fandoms aren’t immune to time. Life happens, priorities change, friendships can drift. Still, the suddenness with which people disappeared and the way some friends blocked me without warning has left a kind of ache I never expected. Sometimes I wonder what happened—was it something I did or didn’t do? There haven’t been explanations, just the silence that settled in its place. Their absence feels like cracks running through stained glass: the colors are still beautiful, but the pieces don’t fit the same way anymore.

I’m not trying to center this on myself, though I know I’m sharing how it feels from here. I just want to speak for everyone who has ever felt that chill, who has come back to the tags and found less and less of the community that used to be there. This fandom isn’t just my story; it’s ours. It’s built on all the voices and friendships and wild ideas that made the Sofia the First world shine beyond the screen.

I’ve been doing everything I can to keep that spark alive. I post whatever I can—fan theories, edits, thoughts about the characters, anything that might help reawaken the connection we used to have. But sometimes I worry I’m just shouting into the void. Am I using the right tags? Is #sofiathefirst enough? Should I be adding more, like #amberofenchancia or #jamesdisasterprince, to reach the people who still care? Maybe my posts just aren’t reaching anyone anymore, lost in the flow of bigger fandoms and endless feeds. I honestly don’t know. I just want this space to feel alive again.

That’s why I created @floral-incantation—not to be a ship blog, but to add something new and fresh to the fandom. She’s an OC inspired by all the things I love about Sofia’s world. I hoped she could be a small spark, weaving together Amber’s golden fire and James’s wild sincerity, a gentle reminder that even as things get quieter, there are new stories waiting to be told. My hope was that this would give us, together, another reason to share, to interact, to imagine again instead of letting the silence win.

But sometimes, even that feels like tending a garden no one visits anymore. I think about the friends who once messaged about their favorite episode or who came up with wild alternate universe ideas late at night. I wonder if they’ll ever wander back through this garden, or if I’m just one voice in an empty kingdom. The blocks still sting.

The loneliness is real, and so is the longing for the kind of community that made this fandom so special.

I don’t want to go back in time—I want the Sofia the First fandom to be real now, for all of us. I want those connections back, the laughter, the chaos, the messiness, and 5 that made this feel like a family, even for just a little while. I want the tags to be filled with inside jokes, new memories, and shared appreciation for a show and a community that deserved so much more.

So if you’re still here—if you feel even a piece of this—please, say something. Reblog, reply, send an ask about your favorite episode, your wildest headcanon, a moment when the fandom made you smile. Tag a friend you miss. Let’s remind each other that this corner of the internet still has magic left in it. Let’s show that the Sofia the First fandom is still here, still together, and still worth holding on to.

Because without all of us—without the friendships and creativity and kindness—this isn’t really a fandom anymore. It’s just a story waiting to be forgotten. And I’m not ready to let that happen.

[jasper-unofficial]

ARCHER'S WE ARE FANCON EXPERIENCE

i promised i would share my feelings, so here they are!

first of all, while i do still maintain that the venue was too small for how beloved the series is, even with the split into two days, and i have some gripes with merch sales, the organisation was otherwise good. it was always very clear where and when you needed to go and what you needed to do, which is always great for an anxious person like me. all the explanations were in three languages too (thai, english, and chinese), so navigating the space and the benefits was easy. the little setup of things to do before the concert starts was also great - there were merch booths for all of the boys who had merch to sell (which is everyone aside from aouboom), there were photobooths with different 'we are' themed templates, there was also, of course, gasha (or, as i like to call them, gambling machines) but hey! i got some merch off of that as well, so i'm honestly not even complaining.

now, onto the actual show! it was incredible, i can hardly imagine anything that would need to be added or changed. it honoured both the series and the artists on their own in many ways.

there were multiple performances with the entire cast, including a surprise appearance of jj, tee, and pepper (or, our mattmickbeer trio) during one song, who then also stuck around to talk about their characters and favourite scenes. friendship is a huge part of the series and they did not forget that. a lot of stage backgrounds and props were an homage to the series too (the one that felt particularly thought-out to me was the background for 'truth in the eyes', which was a lush garden - a callback to the mv's concept metaphor). the couples performed both their main songs and also one cover each, which were picked out by every cp for different reasons, but all of which were great. before every main song, there was a little video with the couple's moments that encapsulated their relationship, and they were really lovely and well-done (a great way of giving the artists a second to breathe too).

i think there was also pretty much everything each of the main eight could want to do on stage. pond and aou got to dance (together as well!), winny got to rap, phuwin and satang got to sing together. at least from what they said, they were given a lot of creative liberty in terms of choosing what they want to sing and do on stage as well, so that is also lovely. all of the performances were, of course, absolutely fantastic and even exceeded my expectations in some ways.

all the little chats between performances were also wonderful and everyone (or, almost everyone) got really emotional closer to the end. we had marc crying first, talking about how much this experience means to him and thanking poon for being his first real partner, and then the floodgates just opened. poon also teared up, winny started crying because marc started crying, then he cried some more when he actually started speaking himself, then satang started crying too, they talked about how much all of this means to them and how much they mean to each other, they held hands. then dear sweet boom almost sobbed on stage and aou cried too - they were also very thankful for everything and especially each other. pond tried very hard not to cry (and succeeded by breathing out every ten seconds and twirling around the stage), talking about how happy he is that everyone loved the series and them so much, saying that the cast became like a little family, and thanking phuwin for being a great partner, and phuwin also talked about how he was afraid of having high expectations and how grateful he is to the cast and the fans. this was definitely one of those moments, which made the whole experience so much more meaningful and emotional. i also wanted to hug all of them and tell them how amazing they are 😭

the appreciation for the audience was huge throughout. pond kept putting his hand at his forehead to try to see all the fans sitting farther away, at one point aou asked for the lights to be turned on, so they could see everyone, during the last performance (which was 'we are forever'), they all came down from the stage and walked around us, waving at everyone.

after the huge three hour concert, there were still the benefits to work through, which ended up going on for five hours (until almost 2 am). the boys were all really lovely and nice throughout and i'm genuinely impressed by their ability not to let the understandable tiredness that they were all feeling interfere with their interactions with fans and each other.

so, to conclude! this was an absolutely incredible experience and i am so happy i decided to come here for the fancon (and actually managed to get the ticket). there are multiple countries they are going to next, as you know, and there will likely be more added in the future. so if you live in any of those countries, i am definitely saying you should go. and if you don't but it is within your means to go and you just weren't sure whether the fancon is worth an entire trip abroad - i am confirming that it very much is. i am confident you would not regret going.

[mildlystupid]

just finished a reread of vampire academy and bloodlines, both series by author richelle mead, and i absolutely need to comment on every book.

starting with vampire academy (series)

vampire academy: it was a nice introduction to the characters and the lore. gives a small glimpse of the politics of this world. the bond is a nice device to get lissa's thoughts and perspective on some events, she is the deuteragonist, after all. this is the only book in which you'll see rose and lissa's friendship be somewhat balanced, until spirit bound at least.

rose is a good ya protagonist, has a personality of her own, motivations and beliefs, and every action of hers is in line with what you'd expect of a teenager. I never quite liked lissa in this books, but you get some personality at least. dimitri, our other key player, is blander than boxed mashed potatoes. i genuinely could not understand what rose saw in him, felt no connection between them, even with the book constantly reminding me of it. christian is a favorite of mine, and i loved all his scenes.

frostbite: my beloved. i think its a perfect introduction to moroi politics propper, and its a nice transition book for raising the stakes of in universe threats. gone are the days of school rivalries.

it sets up a few things that i like (tho not all of them pan out in a way that i liked). first, it stablishes strigoi as the main antagonists for the series. they are this constant threat looming over everyone, that are coming closer to achieving their objective of destabilizing and eventually ending the moroi.

it gives us our first glimpse of rose using a guy that's head over heals as a not-rebound to get over dimitri. it also tells us how it wont work. at least, this time rose had the decency to try to break up with mason before it got to the emotional cheating with dimitri.

we meet a few key players, the first being janine, rose's mom. i will say, rose was well within her rights to feel so strongly against her. she was kind of a shitty mom and that black eye wat at least a bit on purpose. i dont really care much for janine during the next books.

we then meet adrian ivashkov, whos my actual beloved. whe gets his own section much later. but i will say, it sets up nicely some things about him that come up much later (fiery heart), and its the first example of how spirit may not be that rare (i have opinions abt that too)

the ending is so good. everything felt like a natural consequence of everyone's actions. everything was on character. as soon as rose told mason where the strigoi were hiding, the rest of the book was an inevitability. mia being there was, ok it made sense but it just happened to fast. but i can live with that. rose killing those two strigoi was appropriately tragic. not once in this series is killing strigoi celebrated, just a tragedy.

as for romitri, it was almost offensive how much dimitri reminded rose that she was young, and acted her age. WE KNOW. UR CREEPY STAY AWAY GOOOO. they fight the whole ass book, and make up in the last 10 pages.

lissa was such a non entity in this book.

shadow kissed: a strong contender for best in the series imo. its in this book that i stared to believe in the romitri agenda sadly. it makes it easier when the guy starts having an actual personality. his mini arc about trying to live up to rose's expectations of him is kinda good actually.

adrian is, oh meh, there when the plot demands him to be useful. i did feel super bad for him at the end. rose was not in the right to take advantage of his feelings like that. im sure rose will come to appreciate everything adrian does for her!

lissa starts to show signs of life within the story! good for her. im proud. really.

the biggest surprise is honestly Christian. he gets so much focus this book, which i love, because hes a good character. i like his comradery with rose, how they fight together at the end, because they are both so alike that they make a perfect team.

our main antagonists, the strigoi, really up the ante with this finale. they finish stablishing themselves as the main threats of the series. im sure we'll get more of that later.

this books sets up things that i dont like, the biggest one being the thought that, morois biggets enemies' are themselves, how royalty is backwards and idk idk the whole mană thing alongside the shenenigans at court. those political schemes are here to stay sadly.

oh dimitri, just as soon as i started to like you. gone too soon. it was only fair, since rose was still a fucking minor 😭😭😭 that cabin scene was hard to read. karma gets to everyone eventually ig

and rose totally had some sort of ptsd on top of ghosts dont let her fool you. i like her character development here, with her realizing that she might want more out of life other than dedicating her life to serve moroi (lissa), and the fact that she acts on this development by straight up leaving, going on her journey for herself and herself only. im sure she won't become and auror when she grows up.

blood promise: ‼️banger alert‼️. i have conflicted feelings about this book. i think its the best written in the series by a mile. i think the bridge scene is the best one in the series. i think dimitri with a personality makes for a compelling enough villain.

its also completely pointless, and you could totally skip it with little to no consecuence to the overall story. maybe read a summary online if you're curious.

the first half is, a nothing burger. a very tasty good looking well written nothing burger. it serves to introduce Sydney and Abe to the story, to make us feel bad for Dimitri's family and to set up some more spirit powers that will be useful later. Also, Rose is kind of shit sometimes. Adrian was totally right when he said it was selfish to not reveal the location of another spirit user just so she wouldn't be found. He funded this whole thing its the least he deserves.

Im sure she will be more appreciative of Adrian's feelings and help in later books!

The second half, is, well good. Hard to read at times because of how much it hits to home sometimes. Dimitri is a very effective villain because of how much we know of him. We know hes a very skilled fighter, tactitian and overall as a human. As a strigoi, we as readers cant help but wonder just how much lethal he is now, and that looms over the whole book. We know the moment Dimitri and Rose meet, its on sight, and only one can come out alive. The whole kidnapping plot maybe deflate that suspense a bit, since we are seeing things from a very drugged Rose's perspective, who can't register him as a threath. Still, is pretty good. From the moment Rose escapes, up to the bridge scene where Dimitri dies, its absolute peak. Hard hitting emotional impact with good action. Overall a good conclusion for the book.

Lissa's storyline is, not a good. Avery is fine as an antagonist yeah, the book does good at showing the effects that spirit has on Lissa, without Rose to take the burden for her. That confrontation with Rose, Lissa, Oksana etc was admittedly a little goofy, but thankfully it didnt take too much space from the book. I can live with this storyline.

And then fucking Dimitri is alive and theres a way to bring him back and Rose and Lissa need to break out Victor from prison. poor Adrian.

Spirit Bound: ‼️mid alert‼️. i like the very beginning of the book, where Rose has her trials and graduates, up until she travels to court, meets my goat Mikhail and breaks out Victor from prison. That last sequence being my favorite in the book overall. The Vegas section is, rough to me. For starters i feel really bad for Adrian because his girlfriend is a pos who keeps using his money to bring her ex boyfriend back from the dead. Robert Doru is more a plot device than a character; and oh god the scene where Dimitri and his goons attack out of nowhere. its well written yeah but, she should've just let Eddie kill him. The colateral damage of letting Dimitri live in that hotel is all on Rose. I get that its part of her character to sometimes be stupid, but cmon, after four books and 8283883 strigoi enconters she really should know better. Eddie spends the rest of the book annoyed at her and rightfully so.

Then the rest of the book is so slow, up until Dimitri kidnaps Lissa and gets saved by her because plot. That part goes by so fast. And then we're back to a slog, with boring as fuck political stuff, the (quite good) pseudo-funeral and then HOLY FUCK the queen is dead out of nowhere and Rose takes the stupid juice again in her hearing with the "if i was the killer" speech.

And in-between all that, Rose stili makes time to be dismissive of Adrian's feelings. yeah it was shit of him to use her to provoke his family at that dinner, but then that conversation with Daniella where she says she knows the relationship wont last forever? do you even like the guy? And the scene where she stood up Adrian to talk with Sydney was just sad.

Also, it gets uncomfortable at times just how insistent Rose is to talk to Dimitri after he gets un-unalived. Re-alived. De-strigofied. He's well within his rights to not want to see her. He's basically recovering from a very very traumatic experience, one where Rose was heavily involved, and was personally victimized by him. He deserves some time to process what happened without having the constant reminder of how much harm he caused in the form of Rose. The scene where he defends her from the arrest is good im afraid. love fades my ass lmao. i hate admitting that those two have chemistry after all.

last sacrifice: mixed bag all around. sets up a lot stuff for bloodlines, which is imo the superior book series, so im a bit more appreciative of this book compared to spirit bound. the good parts are good, the escape, sydney, the strigoi interrogation scene, the travel book scene, strigoi sonya scenes. all fine.

the silly goofy, such as sonya somehow having control of plants like that girl from sky high, is just silly goofy. the keepers enter in this category.

the stupid. oh god that backwards logic they use to get sonya to lead them to the hidden dragomir. what even was that why did no editor tell richelle mead 'hey this is unbelievably stupid'.

the unnecessary: Lissa's queen plot. Richelle wanted that hunger games/ divergent money with her trials. Most of the political stuff. Remember when we had good villains in the strigoi and their war against royal moroir? yeah me neither.

the 'makes me so angry' parts: Rose's treatment of Adrian. Would it kill her to at least appreciate all of the things he does for her. She didn't have to cheat on him. And he was absolutely right when he called him out for messing up a lot of lives amidst her epic romance shenenigans. The part where Rose tells Adrian the whole youre a victim speech is just cruel.

Tasha being the killer was such an ass pull. Let it be Daniela. The motive was there, the means were there. Why include such a shitty twist for no good reason? Instead of being a legitimate agent of change, helping Lissa in her new role as a queen, she had to have stupid hidden motives that make no sense to kill the queen. the worst one by far is the jealousy of Rose. Rip a good character.

The bond disappearing was ok i guess. i think the reasoning of why it happened was kinda stupid, but ill take what i can get of the defunct and buried storyline of Rose getting her own set of morals and beliefs outside of the academy's teachings and away from Lissa and learning to be her own person and her priority in life. Rip a good character arc. At least she gets to be guardian to the queen and get some benefits that put her slightly above the rest of her oppressed race!

and yeah thats pretty much it see ya.

(not proorfead i basically use these posts as English practice because i actually speak Spanish)

[pickledpascal]

Hold Me Like Water

Chapter Five: Friends of Dorothy

Warnings: sexual situations, lap dance, alcohol consumption, 18+ themes

Word Count: 2.7k

Hold Me Like Water Masterlist

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November 2015,

Being in Australia was an interesting time. Sakari and Maya certainly weren't used to it—the scorching heat and the way the toilets flushed the other way. They were used to the cold, even though New York had summers, they hadn't experienced anything too hot yet. Australia was warm as hell. 

Hugh tried to convince them to go to the beach with him and his family, but they politely declined. He also offered a room in his house and, as much as Maya appreciated the thought and loved his kids, she valued her own space a lot more. They were only going to be there for a few days to see his show, anyway. 

“I don't get how he's able to survive here,” Sakari complained as she lay on the bed in their hotel room. “But maybe it's just the Inuit in me. Too used to the cold.” She had the fan on, though the temperature outside was cooling as the afternoon approached. 

Maya chuckled as she brushed her hair. “I think you forget he grew up here. And we didn't. If Hugh ever came up to Nunavut, I'm sure he'd hate the cold.” She argued softly.

But then again, Hugh loved New York winters. However, winters further North were far more harsh and there were days when the sun did not properly set. Maya loved it, though. She particularly loved pummelling Sakari with snowballs when they were little kids. It was nice to re-enact those days every so often.

“But he'd have us on our side to keep him warm! Parkas and homemade coats… the only thing you can do to keep cool here is take more layers off and I'd rather not walk around naked.” Sakari complained further, a whine at the edge of her voice.

Maya walked out of the bathroom, rummaging through one of her bags to fish out her perfume. She sprayed it all over. 

They were about to leave to go to one of Hugh's shows. He was doing a mix of his favorite numbers from his favorite musicals. He gave them free tickets as a gift. 

Sakari teased Maya about him secretly being a sugar daddy. Hugh got her a lot of gifts. Small things—jewelry, art he thought she'd like, hats from different places he'd traveled after learning about her collection, vinyls he wanted to share with her, and they always came with handwritten cards. Although Maya and her family didn't celebrate Christmas, Hugh always got her something to commemorate the holiday because he valued her friendship and wanted her to feel appreciated. 

“Alright, hottie, no need to make yourself even more attractive.” Sakari teased as she sat up in the bed.

“Hush.” Maya mumbled as she slipped her rings onto her fingers. She almost always wore the same set of jewelry when she went out unless she was working or on a red carpet, which also counted as working.

She wore a white off-the-shoulder top and deep blue pleated pants. They were both light and she had a feeling it would be inexplicably warmer in the theater. On the other hand, Sakari was going more casual with a white tank top and a pair of loose jeans. 

One of the perks of being in Australia rather than the States or Canada was that the paparazzi didn’t care enough about Maya to swarm her. She could walk down the street with Sakari again and almost no one would stop her for a picture. It was a breath of fresh air after a year of suffocation.

A year of suffocation she wasn’t prepared for. Hugh warned her, in his own gentle way, before the film came out. Like he was trying to soothe a feral animal before it ever truly went off the deep end.

However, she liked interacting with fans a lot more than paparazzi. Most of the time, they were shy and asked for pictures rather than simply assuming they could take some. Maya had proper conversations with a few when she had the time. They usually asked if her character would come back in the X-Men universe and she had the same answer every time: no one has asked her yet. They probably thought she was covering it up so she didn’t spoil anything but she was telling the truth. 

Since Hugh got the tickets for Maya and Sakari, that meant they got the best seats in the theater. Front row, as close to the middle as he could get them so they had the best view. 

“I've heard Hugh does a lot of freaky shit when doing the Boy From Oz segment.” Sakari whispered to Maya once they were seated. “I am not looking forward to witnessing that.” She shivered. 

Maya heard too, right from Hugh's mouth. She was quite familiar with one of the stories which ended with a woman biting the swell of his ass. It was the fourth show of this run so he was likely in the groove of things now, so she hoped there would be no ass-biting on stage.

“Anything he does is gonna give you secondhand embarrassment. Why did you come?” Maya laughed softly. 

“And give up an opportunity to make fun of him? Never!” Sakari gasped as if she was offended. 

For Sakari, it was like he was the brother she never had. She had free reign to make fun of him all she wanted. Hugh took it because he knew it wasn't serious and that it was just her love language. She did it with Maya too, just not as much. 

Maya shook her head at her sister, “You're in luck because Hugh would be too kind to ask you to stop.” 

“Because he loves me.” Sakari teased back, “As I'm sure he loves you, if he hasn't said it yet.” She winked. 

Maya pursed her lips, rolling her eyes. He hadn't said it yet. But Maya didn't need him to. She could feel it every time he looked at her, hanging onto every word she said as if she were reciting the most beautiful poetry, making sure she and her sister had all the accommodations they needed, offering a place to stay, sending her gifts, and more importantly, giving her his time when it could be spent doing other things, better things. It didn't need to be said. That's how she felt, at least. 

Soon, the lights dimmed, causing everyone to pay attention. Hugh came on stage in a proper suit, tie, and top hat and performed his heart out as if it was the first time and the last. 

Maya was captivated by his energy on the stage. It was so different from how he acted on a set. When he was in the middle of a scene, it felt very nuanced and, well, small. He was very focused and in-tune with everything. Of course, he likely was very focused on the stage as well but his energy was so much bigger, excited. He was acting big. She couldn't believe what she was witnessing. 

He was glowing on the stage. She felt privileged that she could watch it and experience it. He looked so happy with each song he performed, dancing and singing his heart out. 

Like most theater productions, there was an intermission. Maya was so taken aback that she almost didn't register that the music stopped. 

“Earth to Maya?” Sakari swiped a hand in front of her face. “Regaining your crush on him?” 

Maya punched her arm once she was back in her body. “Don't say that.” She huffed. 

“Oops, sorry.” Sakari shrugged, a small smirk on her face that showed she was certainly not sorry. “Want me to get you something to drink? I was thinking a nice Aussie beer for me.” There was a concession counter in the main hall that a lot of people were going to. 

Maya hummed in thought for a second. They didn't drive there, so having a drink or two wouldn't hurt. “Make that two, then.” 

Sakari nodded, squeezing Maya’s shoulder as she passed her in the row. One of Maya's love languages, funnily enough, was physical touch. 

She waited patiently, her leg bouncing in her seat. She caught Hugh's eye a couple times while he performed and felt a small thrill run up her back each time. She wasn't sure what that meant, but she knew it meant something. Maybe she was just surprised he locked eyes with her even if they were friends, he had a whole audience that would die if he so much as looked in their direction. 

Maya was more or less used to Hugh’s gaze. His eyes were a soft hazel color, a deeper brown or a lighter green depending on the lighting. Under the harsh spotlights, they looked more brown. Much like the rest of him, his eyes were kind yet intense at the same time. 

“The concession guy looked at me weird,” Sakari huffed as she handed Maya one of the beers before she sat down and took a sip of hers. “It's like he's never seen an indigenous person before. Has he heard of the Aboriginals?” 

Maya sipped from her beer as well, letting out a soft, approving hum. Hugh always boasted that they had a lot of good alcohol in Australia and she agreed. However, it wasn't the best. She would reserve that pedestal for her father's homemade brews. 

She nudged Sakari’s shoulder, offering her a light smile. “Well, we're not Aboriginal, are we?” She chuckled. 

“No.” Sakari mumbled around the rim of her bottle. 

Maya laughed softly, a warmth in her chest. Inuk women in the middle of Australia were bound to be a little weird to the people who lived there. She knew Sakari was rightfully mad at the stares but sometimes she acted like a Chihuahua who just ached with anger and wanted to let it out somehow. 

The size comparison was accurate too. Sakari was a humble five-feet-two like their mother. 

Soon, the lights dimmed again and focused on the stage. Hugh had a costume change—tight, silver pants and a loose, frilly, tropical button-up. It was time for the Boy From Oz segment of the show. 

His entire demeanor changed again as if he truly was Peter Allen. He cracked jokes about drugs, being gay, and all that good stuff in between his singing. 

Maya let out a few good laughs, enjoying the show he was putting on. Perhaps on a deeper level than the people around her because she never thought he could be so funny while acting. When Hugh was being Hugh, in private, he could be quite funny. More than people would expect him to. 

“Now,” Hugh paused for dramatic effect, in his higher pitched, “gay” Australian accent, “Who would like a lap dance? I've heard I'm fairly good at them.” 

Immediately, hands shot up and people yelled “me!” at him. Sakari looked around at all the hands raised and giggled. Maya let out a soft huffy laugh, covering her face with her hands as an embarrassed flush covered her cheeks. She wouldn't be able to watch.

“Oooh, how about you?” Hugh looked at Maya, leaning over the edge of the stage. Her eyes widened as her hand fell from her face. “C'mon, darlin’, nothing to be shy about.” He winked. 

Sakari giggled harder, pushing Maya up from her seat. Maya sighed as she stood. She was helped to the stage by a stagehand. She narrowed her eyes, letting them adjust to the stage lights. She's done a couple plays herself but they were years ago while she was still a student. And those lights likely weren't as bright as these. 

Hugh helped her to a chair in the middle of the stage. “Look at you,” He purred into the microphone, “If I was attracted to women, I would love to take you home.” He teased. A few people in the audience called in agreement. 

Maya flushed a deeper red, secretly hoping the light washed her out enough that no one could see it. She set her hands in her lap, unsure what else to do with them. 

“Ah, just relax, darlin’. I'm not gonna hurt you.” Hugh winked, though his gaze held some sincerity. 

It reassured Maya, only slightly. She could only imagine the amount of videos people were going to take that were going to be plastered all over the Internet the next day. She needed to get off Twitter.

He ran his hands up and down Maya’s thigh, opening her legs so he could stand between them. She was trying to look anywhere but at him but he wasn't having it. “Look at me, baby.” Hugh hooked a finger under her chin to turn her head. “That's it. Aren't you a good girl?” It was said in an unserious tone but it still made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. 

As he began to roll his hips in time with some background music, Maya's hands found themselves gripping the sides of the chair. She wasn't sure she was in her body at that point. She felt like she was back in the audience, watching it on the big screen behind the stage. 

Since Hugh knew Maya personally, he thought that gave him free reign to touch her. He wouldn't do it with anyone else but his wife, though, he would likely go a bit further with Deb. He ran his hands up and down her arms, squeezed her shoulders, and even fully sat on her lap as he faced the audience. 

“This is quite a comfortable seat, I might do the rest of the show from right here,” Hugh said in the microphone, wriggling a little on top of Maya. He took one of her hands from the side of the chair and set it on his hip. She clutched at the fabric of his shirt. “Oh, a nice grip too!” 

Maya could see Sakari cracking up in the front row which just made the whole experience even more embarrassing. This wasn't doing anything to help the rumors. Perhaps that's why Hugh did it; to make fun of them. 

Thankfully, Hugh stood back up and offered a hand for Maya to stand. “Alas, my dear, I do have the rest of the show to do.” He hugged her tightly as applause came from the crowd. 

Maya almost ran back down to her seat. Sakari kept laughing and giggling like a little girl as Maya tried to keep a straight face. She adjusted herself in her seat a few times as the performance went on. She had never experienced that before. Sporting a hard-on out of nowhere wasn't something that happened to her often, if ever. 

But Hugh was rubbing up against her. That would happen if anyone did something like that. That's what she thought. She was better than no man even if she was on the ace spectrum. Yeah, she blamed the fact that she still had a dick. She flushed harder when the thought that Hugh might've felt it occurred to her. 

When Maya settled into bed that night, her phone buzzed with a message. She glanced at Sakari who was fast asleep before she looked at it.

Hughie: I hope that wasn't too much. I would hate to make you uncomfortable. I hope you enjoyed the show!

Maya smiled softly. Still considerate even when he didn't have to be. She didn't think of it as his fault at all. 

Maya: I did enjoy the show! Sakari did, too. She's out like a light right now. And don't worry about making me uncomfortable, I was happy to be a part of it. It was nice seeing you in your element up close. 

She set her phone back on the nightstand between her and Sakari's beds and let out a breath. She was being honest. The dance left her with a lot of different feelings. She was proud of Hugh throughout the performance but seeing it while she was closer was on a whole new level. He was committed. A lot more committed than she had ever seen in person. 

But the fact that she got a thrill from it left her with a lot of questions. She likely wouldn't get answers for them. And she didn't want them either. They were friends and she was quite content with that. It was just her body reacting, it had to be. Bodies did things that didn't make sense all the time. 

[lotusloong]

I think everyone who creates something has these insecure thoughts, myself included. As an artist and a writer, I also struggle with thinking that no-one cares about my art, my dumb fics, etc, why should I even bother, but that’s the thing. People DO care. Even if they are like me and hide in the shadows like a creep, someone cares (hi it's me I'm someone). Every time I see an update from you I squeal internally and go 'oh boy oh boy' as I excitedly begin to read. The thing about posting stuff on websites is that you don’t get to actually see your audience reading your work, and that can make you feel like no-one is enjoying it. But we are, trust me.

I think everyone is desperate for connection, and while this site has its issues, it’s also a great way to find like-minded people and surround yourself with them. Connecting with someone over fictional characters makes for the purest of friendships, in my opinion. It’s like, "yeah I don't know their real name, but they wanna fuck that monkey guy just like me so they're my ride or die" and I think that’s fucking beautiful.

I know what you’re going through. I’ve written fics that don’t get a single comment and drawn things that don’t get a single like, and yes, it sucks, and sometimes it feels like I’m just tossing my creations into the void to be swallowed up, but you know what? Fuck it. I’m still gonna keep drawing. I’m still gonna keep writing. Cuz it makes me happy. And that’s what matters in the end. If it makes you happy, do it. Period. Don’t let other people’s disinterest keep you from doing something you enjoy. I draw things just for myself. I write stupid silly fics just for myself. If I get a nice comment, great! If I don’t, oh well! I don’t let it define me. I’ve learned not to. And it may take some time, but I think you will, too.

I honestly appreciate this because I know logically you're right, I really really do. And that's one of the reasons why I'm so frustrated with myself for getting so caught up in my thoughts about others reactions towards my art, because I know that I'm not the only one who feels that way and I shouldn't compare because it just makes everything harder. But to see someone else who does struggle with these same thoughts go out of their way to each out to me? It's so kind of you.

Thank you for telling me this and trying to help, thank you for sharing your own thoughts and struggles, it really helps remind me that we're all just...doing our best to make it through the day and using art make it a little more pleasant. And I do try to keep the same mindset as you! To say fuck it and keep making stuff because it makes me happy because honestly sometimes it's all we have. I've just been going through a rough patch, which has made it harder to ignore those negative thoughts creeping up on me...

But really, getting so many nice messages for what was a small little rant just makes feel so seen. Thank you again for reaching out to help me, as well as everyone else who did, I really don't know what else to say at this point, i just feel so much better 💖🐒💖

[mercerislandbooks]

Book Chats: The Spellshop

Summer is here. The days are warm and long, and the evenings are perfect for sitting outside and reading (or listening and crocheting, in my case) as the sun goes down. The Spellshop by Sarah Beth Durst is an amazing choice for this kind of relaxing evening. The narrator was excellent, the descriptions were lush, and the setting was idyllic. A librarian and her sentient spider plant seek refuge from a bloody revolution—with crates of books in tow—by heading to Caltrey, a small island on the outskirts of a nation made of islands. All Kiela wants is to protect her books and live unnoticed in the cottage her parents left her. (Un)fortunately for her, that's not how small villages work. With an attractive next door neighbor and a friendly baker determined to welcome her into their small community, as well as a suspicious old man who is set on driving her out, Kiela has to decide if letting people in is a chance she's willing to take. Warning: you will want baked goods slathered with jam by the end of this book.

Becca: Kiela was such a fun, unique character. Her love of books obviously resonates with me as an avid reader and a bookseller, and her habit of overthinking what she says and does was also very relatable. What did you think about her as the main character and voice of the story? Lori: I loved Kiela. For the same reasons as you but also, I loved the way circumstances kept pushing her beyond her comfort zone and then, because of getting to hear her overthinking inner voice, the reader knows what choosing to be brave costs her. But she does it anyway. It's not comfortable to acknowledge that those moments are what bring growth. Also, she has blue skin. And blue hair. And lots of blue clothes. I approved of all the blue. What did you think about Kiela's scheme to barter homemade jam for the supplies she needs? Becca: Making jam is not necessarily the occupation I would turn to for survival, but I also don't live on a little island surrounded by merhorses and abundant fruit trees and bushes. Well, maybe the bushes; our blackberry brambles are out of control. I loved how she took what she had available to her and, with much determination, figured out a way to keep moving forward. Lori: She did. No matter the obstacles, she kept trying. I think we need to discuss Caz, though, the sentient spider plant! Becca: So...a talking plant research assistant. I wouldn't mind that. Maybe then I'd finally know how to care for one without it slowly fading away on me. And Caz has such an excellent personality. Lori: He stole the show in my opinion. I thought he had all the best lines. His friendship and support of Kiela really brought home to me how careful Sarah Beth Durst was to give all her characters, and the environment they inhabit, a nuanced worth. She also created an interesting magic system. Becca: I do love it when magic is something accessible to everyone in a book, instead of just the chosen few who are born with it. But with all of the impressive feats that can be accomplished with spells, I think it was the little magics scattered throughout the book were my favorite. Yes, Kiela wanted to do big magics to help her community, but the little ones that encouraged plant growth and water to flow were the ones that resonated with me. And it's the small magics that she was determined to share with those around her as a way to make their lives better. Lori: It really shows how little things, that maybe don't seem like they matter that much, actually have more of an impact than one might think. It's encouraging that making small choices towards the good does make a difference in the world. Becca: It is. And I appreciated how Kiela came to believe that sentiment because she observed Larran, her always-willing-to-help neighbor, put forth the effort to do so. Lori: I loved watching the spark between Kiela and Larran grow. She started out so wary and standoffish, but as she continued to see how good he was (and how good he looked shirtless), she started to admire him, until she found herself unable to resist.

This sweet book is perfect for summer, with its cottagecore vibes and berry-filled island. The first printing has beautiful sprayed purple edges to add to the appeal. So, stop by to pick up a pretty book, whip up (or purchase) some scones with jam (preferably raspberry), and settle in for a gentle adventure full of plants, jam, and slightly illegal magic.

— ​Becca & Lori

[seaside-lovers]

Hiya Scarecrow! What are the challenges of a robot-human relationship? How do you overcome those with Kate? What things have y'all had to reconsider or change? -ourlittleforever

(Thank you!)

It has certainly been... interesting to navigate this relationship. While my kind is made like our Creators and can have intimate relationships, it's uncommon amongst us as we focused on our duties over everything.

Now, not having to do pilot work, I find myself having a lot more time with Kate. One of the major challenges early in our friendship was communication. Neither of us were used to sharing a living space. Despite our separated resting areas, it was still awkward in the beginning for Kate, according to her. I was just grateful for a time to rest and allow my injuries to heal.

Being able to discuss our communication habits helped the awkwardness for Kate. She liked to talk to me, and while I may not respond, I was always listening. Establishing this helped her feel heard. I've also started to communicate more with her to fulfill her social needs.

Something that Kate has done that I appreciate is giving me time on my own when I need it. I do like spending time with her, but sometimes I need to be on my own and have time to rest.

Thankfully, we have not had much issue with outside forces. Mostly Kate just gets a lot of prying questions and I get a lot of stares, but I think the colonists are starting to get more used to us... and me.

The marriage situation will be interesting since I do not have a last name or day of creation that I know of, but I don't care either way. I want to make Kate happy, and this is something important to her, so I'm pleased to do it.

Oh yes, sleeping arrangements have been a much less serious hurdle for us to overcome. Her previous bed was much too small for both of us once I started sharing her sleeping space, so she ended up getting a new bed... and the frame broke due to my weight. Don surprised us recently with a much sturdier bed frame that he created as well. An early wedding gift, he called it.

edit: forgot to add it in-character, but neither Scarecrow nor I have been in a romantic relationship before, so it is new for us both. :)

[oddygaul]

Your Name

I think I actually liked this a lot more the second time.

In particular, the ending worked a lot better for me this go-around.

I always get frustrated when character-focused works involving timeline / dimensional fuckery contrive it so that the people you’ve watched build a relationship over diegetic months or years have their memory of that relationship erased. Whether it’s someone planeswalking alone into an alternate timeline, time-travel-related amnesia, or even just your classic memory zapping gun, it feels like a gut punch to know a relationship you’re genuinely invested in functionally did not happen for those characters anymore.

Now, I understand that the usual idea behind this is the appealing, elegant notion that some people are simply meant to be together - that no matter what obstacles, physical or psychological, might get between them, they’ll find each other again and mean just as much to each other as they did before.

I am not that idealistic.

I think establishing a close bond (be it friendship or romantic love) with someone who was once a stranger is an incredible, mercurial series of events that is so hard to replicate, it’s a small miracle that anyone has found the friends and loved ones they have.

I regularly think about the decisions, chain of events, and random happenstance that led me to my closest friends, and how a different choice made any step along the way, even years earlier, could easily have led to me never even meeting that person. And then, even if I met them by chance years later, who’s to say we’d even get close? We’d likely be two drastically different people than in the initial scenario, not only because of the different course our lives had taken, but due to how differently we would have developed in absence of each other’s influence.

There’s no chance in hell I’d roll those dice, so for me it truly stings when I watch a friendship undone - and particularly when it’s not treated with the appropriate gravity. If your whole story is about it, fine, but if it happens for some trivial reason, or a character does it flippantly, or if the narrative treats it as a minor thing and doesn’t go into the deep fucking implications such an event would have, I’m gonna be upset.

And so, on first watch, I think I slotted Your Name into the latter category. Sorry, they just up and forgot? They went through the most formative emotional experience of their young lives, saw the world through another person’s eyes, and just fuckin’ forgot about it? what??

This time, though, I paid more attention to, *ahem*, the literal text of the movie, which explains that the time Mitsuha and Taki spend together is akin to a dream, with all the haziness and fleeting nature that entails. Viewed through that* lens, the two forgetting such an important relationship resonates a lot more. Part of what makes dreams extraordinary is how strongly they can emotionally affect you, even if the details don’t make a bit of sense. The fact that such a strong emotional response can stick around long after the events of the dream have evaporated is one of the most sublime things about them. I’ve had plenty of dreams where I’ve spent what feels like decades falling in love with someone, building a life with them, exploring our sick far-future underwater biosphere together, et cetera, only to wake up and have it all ripped away. In retrospect, the particulars are nonsense and I can’t remember a single thing about this imaginary person, but for that afterglow period, it doesn’t matter, because in my heart I still feel the desolation of having lost someone. 

*again, glaringly obvious and objectively correct

When I look at the story of Your Name that way, as a beautiful, fleeting dream that two people managed to recapture against all odds, it’s easy to appreciate the sweet little love story it really  is.

—

Other than that, from a craft perspective, this one really is pretty damn good. Tightly written, not a lot of fat, endears you to its characters and their quirks in record time, and solidly hits all the emotional beats it needs to. I don’t think it necessarily has a lot to say, but honestly, tell a story this well and I can’t really complain.

i ship it

The animation here is also truly night and day compared to Shinkai’s previous works. The environments and sense of place are all top-notch as always, but the animation team for Your Name was clearly built around incredibly skilled character animators and it shows. The little mannerisms Mitsuha and Taki show regardless of which body they’re currently in is proof enough of that.

true friendship is helping your friend bomb a power substation with no questions asked

I’m not even gonna pretend I have anything worth saying about the art and animation here, though, when kViN’s excellent Your Name writeups exist over on SakugaBlog. If you found this post cuz you just rewatched Your Name and you wanted to read people analyzing / gushing over it, these should absolutely be the next stop on your journey.

—

Your Name Production Notes

A Door to the Future, on what Your Name means for Shinkai and the future of the industry at large

—

[at-weeb96]

I saw your ask game post, so I wanna ask these two:

Favourite moment in the show

Favourite "Important" headcanon (ex: Finn and HW eventually hooked up)

Favourite "Unimportant" headcanon (ex: Marceline and PB pulled a few strings to make the former happen)

LONG POST

ooh this is an interesting one. I have a lot of thoughts on this so strap in and buckle up my dude

Favorite Moment- Since I already said Varmints was my favorite episode and there are so many good character moments in the series, I'll have to go with the ending montage and PB and Marcy's reconciliation in the RC Mines. The ending montage just warms my heart to know there are still adventures to be had with our favorite characters and that our own interpretations and headcanons can take shape with the stories not shown (although they may have changed post DL and who know what's to come with F&C)

Now for the moment from my fav episode. This scene is what made appreciate PB's character and made her my favorite AT character. We see Peebles at her lowest point when she is no longer in control of her life and pushed away those she tried to trust and form relationships with.

First her "family" betrayed her and she was forced to "lobotomize" them to keep them from hurting her and her brother Neddy (if you remember, her hat was once a piece of Gumbald's merchandise) Then when she found someone to share her life with, she (Marcy) ended up "betraying" her too (and wrote a banger of a diss track in the process) And then she was betrayed by her own people and forced into exile from her home by that dilweed KOO (and even stole and wore her clothes that creep)

And the final nail in the coffin is when the Varmint Queen/Mother (whatever you wanna call that body-horror nightmare) traps her and Marcy in the mines and Marcy puts on her go-to coping mechanism and starts jokingly ridiculing Bonnie for the umpteenth time, PB can't take it no more and lets her emotions and insecurities pour out. But what does Marcy do? She listens to what her friend/ex has on her mind and tells her she has nothing to apologize for cause she's been through a lot of stuff too. And after all that, they finally understand each other better and reconcile their strained friendship (and eventually their love for one another)

And that's why those are my favorite moments from AT. Now after that long ramble, I can now answer the other things.

Important HC -I think when Jake died, since Finn took it really hard and become depressed like that scene in The Music Hole, PB and Marceline started being around him more becoming his supportive older sisters with BMO as his emotional support robot. (his mother Minerva would video chat with him every once and a while since a small human colony was established in Ooo like in the Season 11 comic issue)

Eventually Bronwyn would be interested by the stories of the adventures of her late grandfather from Finn's friends and wanted to explore the lands of Ooo and beyond with him. At first he was hesitant of adventuring without his bro, but PB, Marcy, Minerva, and Simon encouraged him to take her on adventures since Finn was instrumental in the betterment of their lives. And that's why she is with Finn post Obsidian (unless F&C contradicts this)

And finally Unimportant HC -Since it's shown in Obsidian that Simon most likely owns DB Guy's Tavern, Finn, Jake, Marceline, PB and everyone else we know and love from AT hang out and discuss their past and present adventures and their lives with each other each week.

Thanks so much for the questions. That was probably the longest ramble I've ever written online. Almost makes me want to colab with other AT fans on stuff, if I can get past my laziness and procrastination. I also want to shout out these other tumblrs who have made me the AT fan I am today (perhaps I should join discord again?)

@gunterfan1992 @uncivilizedelk @sometipsygnostalgic @j4gm @teethcritter @lobster-lover @loffican @marcydaydream @squeempus @crochetwithcat @artsywak @eeveryadventuretimes @oli-the-cat @ptoodle and @jacketpotatoo

❤Love you all, especially you @leironth (thanks again for the awesome ask)

[bookwyrmshoard]

Inheritance, by Nora Roberts

A perfect blend of wish-fulfillment fantasy, romance, and deliciously spooky atmosphere

Inheritance, the first book in Nora Roberts’s Lost Brides trilogy, provides the perfect blend of wish-fulfillment, friendship, romance, and spookiness. I loved Sonya, the main character, a spirited, entrepreneurial graphic designer who uproots her life to live in the historic manor she unexpectedly inherits on the Maine shoreline. I loved the friendly ghosts she tries so hard not to believe in, and the adorable dog she adopts (his name is Yoda!) The young lawyer, Trey, is as easy to like as he is on the eyes. His family, as well as Sonya’s newly-met cousin Owen and her best friend Cleo, are all likeable and sympathetic. Cleo in particular is delightful, and I have high hopes for a secondary romance between Cleo and Owen.

On the other hand, the malevolent ghost who haunts the mansion and intermittently threatens Sonya? She gives me chills. But just the right amount of chills to thrill, and not so many as to cause nightmares. (At least not yet. I have a feeling things may escalate in the second and third books.)

The publisher’s blurb summarizes the plot of Inheritance pretty well. Sonya hasn’t just inherited a gorgeous-but-haunted mansion, she has also inherited a family curse going back generations. And she’ll have to solve a family mystery and break the curse if she doesn’t want to become this generation’s victim.

One of the things I appreciate about Nora Roberts, particularly in the past 15 years or so, is that the suspense plot doesn’t drive the entire book or dominate the main character’s life to the exclusion of all else. Instead, Roberts’s books spend plenty of time developing the character and the character’s day-to-day life. Just like people facing challenges in real life, Roberts’s characters have to live their lives between, around, and despite whatever dangers they face. For Sonya, that means settling into the mansion, meeting and learning more about her own family, exploring her growing relationship with Trey, and getting to know the small town and its people. She’s building a life here, and that process is part of her character arc; it’s also Roberts’s way of creating the support network Sonya will need as the supernatural threat against her grows.

Another thing I appreciated is the “competence p*rn,” as Sarah from SBTB calls it. Everyone in this book—everyone who matters, that is—both enjoys and is extremely good at what they do. None of the sympathetic characters are unhappy in their job or struggling with self-doubt; no one is even merely mediocre. It’s refreshing, though perhaps a little intimidating for those of us who, well into into our adulthood, are still figuring out what we want to be when we grow up.

All in all, there’s not a single thing I would change about this book — not even the cliffhanger ending. Which, I’ll be honest, is not something I ever thought I would say. Normally I hate cliffhanger endings, but in this case I’m not really sure how else the book could have ended. That said, if you can’t stand cliffhangers, you should probably wait to read Inheritance until the second book comes out, or maybe even the third. Because this book? It will definitely leave you in suspense.

Challenges: Library Love Challenge 2024

Review originally published on The Bookwyrm's Hoard blog, 4/04/2024.

[xmimiteh]

Things I like RP partners to know

I like to be called: Mimi, if you want to use my character's name. But I know it might get weird to differentiate between the player and the character. And I am definitely neither my character nor a tsundere. ;) So you can call me by my other nickname as well I am mostly known for at other places - Jama or Jamapi. Yes, that's from "Wedding Peach". Don't judge me, my guilty pleasure is the magical girl genre and "Wedding Peach" was simply hilarious! Pronouns: they/them.

One thing you should know about me (or several): 

The following is at the same time a condensed and expanded version of my carrd's ooc sections. If you want to know more, you can look at my >carrd<.

I am 21+ and I belong to the older demographic here, as I started roleplaying with D&D back in the days in the 80s and have been doing a lot of roleplaying since then - tabletop, collaborative storytelling, play-by-mail, LARP. You name it, I did it. Mimi has been a grumpy little menace on Balmung in FF14 since ARR. I have a fulltime and very stressful job as a professional writer in my native language. Thus, playing the game is my feel-good place to recharge my energy batteries, while relaxing with a nice cup of coffee. So I like my and your time there being as stressfree and most fun as possible. I am happily married and outside of RP I am not looking for anything more than friendship. My characters have their own agenda, of course. But I am just here to have fun playing the game, write some cool stuff together with you and laugh and watch our goofballs on the screen act the way they do. Our own little tv show of ensuing hilarity.

I like to describe my preferred RP with tv shows: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Firefly, Dawson’s Creek, Babylon 5, Fringe. Also, I have a soft spot for horror themes, especially when spiced up with cosmic horror. So if you are doing that? Count me in! But let me be clear: To me it is not about the tentacles, but the philosophical/intellectual stuff. World views being shattered, nihilism hitting characters hard, existentialism with moral dilemmas. That is the good stuff to me! Nothing wrong with cosmic/void entitites, of course, but please no anime weirdness here. I probably do not have to spell it out, what I mean by that, right? That is not, what I enjoy cosmic horror for. So even though I love cosmic horror, do not assume I am here for that. Because that is a big no-go for me.

Aside from that, let's talk about talking: I am not shy, I am an introvert (>example<). I do not enjoy small talk and this has nothing to do with you. If I play with you I like you! And there will be even other times, when I will not stop talking to you. My walls of texts are infamous - you see them regularly here on tumblr. But please try to avoid an OOC conversation starter with: “How are you doing?” I never know how to answer that and struggle with that. Honestly, I often sit 5-10 minutes on an answer to that question and my brain simply shows a big "cannot compute" message. If there is something you want to discuss, sure thing, shoot. I can talk for hours and hours about specific topics, meaningful stuff and so on. Once I get lose on something we both are interested in there is no stopping for me. But just talking on a superficial level simply to connect with people? I would love to be able to do that, but I fail at that so hard and am just a big goofball of awkwardness in those cases. So I appreciate getting straight to the point. By the way: IC small talk is a completely different thing for me. Yes, I am weird like that.

One (or several) thing(s) you should know about my characters:

Mimi is not an easy character to get along with. I know that. Many people seem to prefer "feel good" rp - and Mimi is probably the opposite of that. And even though I won't say there will never be any "good vibes" rp with Mimi, it will take time and is very situational. The good times do not come easily with this woman. Personally, I prefer conflict and well paced character drama. As much as I adore slice-of-life rp I am not here to "play house" and find that utterly boring. I am here for interesting, gripping character dynamics, for tense situations, for unexpected twists and turns, for character development. I am here for the heart break, angst and the slow burn. Give me edges on other characters, let me to throw my characters against those edges and see what happens.

Even if at some point the "deredere" part of Mimi appears, don't expect this to be everytime. I need the conflict. I need IC problems in roleplay. That's the reason why I love to play tsundere. They make things complicated. They create conflicts by their very nature. As much as I love ooc harmony outside of rp, within any rp situation I crave for well-written conflicts. That does not always have to be a fight. This can also just be a discussion. Or simply different opinions or backgrounds. Sure, sometimes there is not a good angle to create a conflict or disagreement. Well, then it is as it is and this can happen - and that is fine! But I struggle with those situations and will probably try to spice up the situation and make it unpredictable. I want to be surprised. Conflicts are the best way to get there. At least in my experience. To some people this might seem forced and they get annoyed by that. I understand that. But that is just the way I am. I do not want to annoy you by that. I want us both to have fun and something to play with in rp. That is, why I incite problems and conflict. Because if there is nothing to say, then there is no dynamic to the scene.

I know this is not everybody's cup of tea and I don't judge the rp of others. But harmony based rp simply is not my thing and I avoid it, when rp is only "lovey-dovey", rainbows and sunshine. I won't keep people from doing that, but I don't have any interest in it and will stay away from it - for the sake of your fun and mine as well. I do not want to spoil anybody's fun. If you have fun with that? You do you! And please don't get me wrong: It is no problem if there are "nice moments". On the contrary, I love those moments as well! But they have more impact to me if they do not appear regularly, because I am looking for: meaningful moments. Something that will stick to my mind as funny or interesting or tragic or sad or tense. Something that intrigues me like a thrilling tv episode and a gripping cliffhanger in a book or movie. So I like to be really clear about, why I play a quarrelsome character like Mimi: She is not someone to be "solved" or "rescued". She is the way she is, because I need conflict rp to get my creativity going. That is my rp fuel.

To sum it up: My characters are going to do stupid things. They are going to be douchebags. And they are more often wrong than not. I am not my character so if they insult or provoke your character that is part of the RP - not me being mean to you as a player. If I do not feel comfortable with a player on an OOC level I rather avoid playing with them altogether. If my character picks a fight with your character, it means I trust you as a player, and I like you and your character. After all I am offering you my favorite RP, as I adore IC banter and conflict If character play leads to a plot, no problem with that. But do not expect me to play according to any script. My preferred RP develops out of character dynamics. For me plot is a stage for character interactions. Not vice versa.

First language: German. As you might have noticed, I am a non native speaker. So, sorry for any language weirdness or if my answers take longer. I try my best and I think my English is not too bad, but I struggle from time to time. Roleplaying in something different to your first language is a different kind of beast and many things I am proud of in my use of German I fail at in English. And this paragraph is probably one of the best examples of that!

HIGHLIGHT:

Alt blogs: none

xmimiteh.carrd.co is Mimiteh's carrd.

Age range: under 13  |  14–17 | 18–22 | 23–25 | 26–29 | 30+ |  70+

Am I okay with NSFW?: yes | no | some nsfw (when it feels organic)

My favorite/most common thing to rp is: angst | fluff | smut | crack | action | plots | AUs are fine | Violence | Darker themes

OC Canon character friendly?: yes | no | depends

RP blog: does contain ooc posts | doesn’t contain ooc posts | occasionally contains ooc | Aesthetic | Screenshots

I was not tagged, but I stole it from @miqojak! I hope that was okay.

Tagging: I do not even know when this went around, so I'll simply tag the usual crowd. If you did it already, just ignore me! @fair-fae​ @avwalya​ @punchelf @lady-lissette @ysandrethedreamer, @kich-rp @candlelethe​ @ink-dreams-ffxiv @limitsbroke @captainkurosolaire​ @zhauric @arasnealashandr @antlers-and-omens @vulpes-ferus @starforger @miqoquest @gatheredfates @arbiterofthedead @reconditerune @airis-ray @ahlis-xiv @uldahstreetrat @blackbirdffxiv @riftdancing @little-birdseeker @azure-seadragon @thorstyr @angelinecarax @miqomonkly @shavri-ffxiv and everyone who wants to do it! Steal it from me and please tag me, so I will see it. Dashboard can become a bit crowded from time to time and sometimes I tend to miss some things if they do not show up in the activity tab.

[shoheiakagi]

Okay, but is it selfish to ask for one for each of the boys? I just can't choose between them because they're all so good, even our favourite manwhore Chitose! You can choose the prompt for each boy to make it easier, if that makes it less selfish!

hiii! and no, its not selfish at all! i wasn’t sure if you meant all of hmr or just the abc boys, so i just posted for the abc boys. if you want more members, or different prompts for the boys, dont hesitate to send another ask!

Send me an emoji + a character!

❤ - What's something you feel like your muse needs to work on for a relationship to happen or for a relationship to be healthy? Do you think that's possible? Or is it something that'll likely never happen?

Akagi: he would have difficulty placing boundaries with some of his friends while he’s in a relationship tbh. in mor, we see that shouhei literally risks his life to rescue his friend from a dangerous gang by joining hmr. assuming that he does not have any romantic interest in her and that they don’t get together, one scenario i always like to entertain is what if he happened to be in a relationship then - how does his s/o feel that he was ready to throw his life away to save someone who’s just a friend? when he went to go attack the gang on his own, there was flashbacks showing his friend being all carefree about dating this dangerous guy and making this cheeky remark about shouhei will obviously come and save her if something goes wrong. so its easy to assume that her and shouhei have been close friends for a long time and that its common for him to do favors for her whenever she asks. if he’s in a relationship, that friendship will cause some problems bc i can’t see his s/o being okay with their man joining gangs to save another girl. i also think that based on what we saw on mor, shouhei’s friend wouldn’t even realize that she’s overstepping her boundaries (think of all those popular tiktoks and ig reels where girls post about their boyfriend’s girl ‘best friend’).

💐 - What small things go a long way for your muse? What small favors can someone do to get on their good side?

Bandou: it’s no secret that bandou has a huge inferiority complex. since childhood, he’s used to being looked over in favor of more interesting and attractive people, and not having a lot of people really check up on him. So when he finally finds his person, he’s pleasantly surprised at the small, intimate gestures he receives from them. Getting him a cup of coffee because they know he needs his caffeine boost after a long night of playing video games, cooking him a nutritious meal (because goddamn when was the last time bandou had vegetables), going out on a jog with him, cheering him on during his gaming tournament, etc. But what he really appreciates is when his partner knows how to set him straight. He would never admit to it, but Bandou knows that he can be arrogant ass sometimes, his insecurities getting the best of him. So a partner that is straight forward with him and calls him out on his shit actually gets a lot of respect. Although he would claim he wants someone soft and sweet, he likes it better when his partner challenges him, but still loves him with all of his flaws.

🍨 - What are expectations your muse has had about love that either was false or impossible to live up to?

Chitose: i think when he was younger, he had a more idealistic approach to love, especially when he was with his late girlfriend during high school. At the time, she seemed like she was his endgame and he was ready to tie the knot and start a family with her after high school; she would finish her studies in college while he would work some labor job and take care of her. But that dream of his takes a hit when he gets dumped, and then completely shatters when he finds out about her declining health. I also hc chitose to be from a broken family, so his late gf was his home and his safe space. When she first passes away, he starts getting angry, drinking himself into oblivion, sleeping around with different people, trying out illegal drugs. basically everything he promised he wouldn’t do. although he has calmed down a lot, he hasn’t healed and has a very jaded and skeptical view on love

🖤 - What's something that will instantly make them dismiss someone as a romantic partner

Dewa: hate to be that person but i see dewa to be veryyyy pretentious. He could find someone attractive and interesting enough to take out on a date, but get ready to bail once he hears them talk about the latest celebrity dating news, how they think their friend’s bf might be into them, how they’re team barbie instead of oppenheimer (#teambarbie4eva), etc. After spending so much time with Chitose (and a lot of the other hmr members) Dewa does not have enough patience for yet another dumb shallow, obnoxious person in his life, especially when he’s considering them as a potential romantic partner. He also finds it a major turn off when someone is promiscuous, and has no problem with casual hook ups. Dewa wants someone that he can have intellectual debates with, not another starbucks crazed bimbo.

🎀 - Do they aim to impress their partner often? If they do, how so?

Eric: I think Eric has a very shallow take on what it takes to make a healthy relationship. He has very limited experience in the romance department, so all of his knowledge are from cheesy old movies he was forced to watch and stories from some of the other hmr guys. So when he finds himself in a relationship, he ends up overexerting himself to impress his partner. Money being spent recklessly to buy expensive jewelry, afford expensive dates, and not enough being saved for his own necessities, etc. He believes that impressing his partner with materialistic objects will make them happy and not leave him

🍓 - Do dates matter to them? Do they often put a big focus on anniversaries, partners birthdays, Valentines day etc?

Fujishima: i see fuji as a very low maintenance type of guy tbh. He’s very sweet and caring, but he just doesn’t get why people make such a big deal about anniversaries. Fuji sometimes puts a little effort into celebrating his partner’s bday by buying pastry from a local bakery, but i can see him completely forgetting valentines and anniversaries. And it really depends on how his partner is like, but this can cause a lot of conflict in his relationships since his partner might think he’s not taking them seriously.

[mydearthisbe]

Ayesha Liveblogs The Heart Killers

I am very excited for this show. My understanding that it is the two guys from Hidden Agenda + 10 Things I Hate About You (The Taming of the Shrew) + political assassination. I can't wait to find out more

"88, you're up." It's a toss-up if this is going to be a brothel, a host club, or a lightweight boxing ring

"Not too fast, sir. Let's wait for the food to arrive. We can go all out with no interruptions after." Oh, so the first one!

Side note: If this plan to get this man was all contingent upon the client choosing #88 specifically, it seems like they were leaving a lot up to chance. What if he chose someone else?

"Who the hell are you people?" "We're the guys who'll take you to heaven, sir." Well, that would be a non-suspicious thing to say in this environment if it weren't for the gunshots about to go off

Those were very quiet gunshots, actually! Colour me surprised

Why've they named the only white man in the cast Captain Christ??? That's hilarious LMAO

I do appreciate them naming all the characters in the intro though, makes it easier to follow. Also wild that one of the main characters is named Bison, I feel like he got the short end of the stick

"We literally just clocked off. Shouldn't you be laying low?" "Are you my brother or my father Fadel? You nitpick too much." I am vibrating with joy, I love 10 Things I Hate About You. I can't wait for Fadel to be romanced into unclenching

I appreciate that they captioned "Old Fart" as the contact name on the phone screen, very important characterization

"You're with your best friend, but you keep looking around for your next body count." Is the bowling alley the hot place to hook up now?

"But you're in no position to call me out when you've been playing around just the same." Friendship Genre: Bowling Alley Whores (complimentary)

Another reason to watch this show is Dunk Natachai's crop tops

You know, of all the suspicious things that Bison has done (killing a man who at least five witnesses saw him with, close physical contact and having drinks that leave his DNA, wearing bright red as he leaves), the most suspicious is going to a bowling alley alone. THAT'S killer behaviour. Was the motorcycle driver he left with an Uber? Did you Uber from the crime scene?

"I'm sorry. I was just making small talk because I thought you're cute." "See, that ain't so hard, right? No need to be patronizing." HAHA Bison said: I am not accepting constructive criticism at this time

"I literally had one can of beer." "Hey, that's already one too many. You shouldn't even be behind the wheel!" I appreciate the sentiment. Also there's so many scenes between these two actors about drinking and driving LMAO. This is like the third one

Style and Fadel have gotten off on an interesting foot with their Meet Rude at the Hit-and-Gotta-Run

Meanwhile simultaneous to the Meet Rude: Bison-Kant Hotel Hook-Up

"You're not doing this solo, you know?" Bison said: I do offer constructive criticism in the bedroom however

Kant's tattoos really do look like stickers, which makeup artist was responsible for this LOL

You will NEVER catch me going to a tattoo studio called Ink Sting

"I don't wanna be an uncle yet." You see, it is clear from context clues that Babe is Kant's brother's name, but it is a little confusing with it also being a term of endearment

Kant said: We do not do subtle literary allusions here, watch as I read the play that inspired this show

"Our gig last night. We made headlines." [Crime Boss Shot Dead at Massage Parlor] "Crap. Ain't that cool? Do they know we did it?" They will soon if you keep casually discussing it at your fast food establishment, Bison

"Do you forget who and why we had to move our house and business here?" PLEASE SHOOTING OFF YOUR GUN FOR EMPHASIS DURING KARAOKE IS THE FUNNIEST REASON EVER TO HAVE TO MOVE YOUR HITMEN BUSINESS

"Mother only wants us to kill bad people. Those money laundering, drug and human trafficking scums." Mother as in their boss' nickname or literally their mum? Crazy way to be raised LMAO

Please, that's so insane that Bison's like 'Maybe we should stop killing people for a bit' and Fadel's like 'Unrealistic, blocked.' However, I guess once you're in, you're in

"What do you need me to do?" "Get close to some hitmen." I was wondering what the motive for Kant to start scheming would be, and it turns out he is a car-thief-gone-tattoo-artist-gone-narc

Also Captain Christ fully extorting Kant to be an informant. ACAB

Style so far is my favourite part of this show. I love his little Garage Dance. He's in a different genre of show than the other three guys

Biblically accurate Joongdunk to be two inches from each other's mouths as soon as they're on screen together

"Why didn't we open an omelette restaurant instead?" LMAO BISON CAN'T COOK?? Rough

"Do you have delivery? I might need to order this later." "Currently we don't. But if you want it, I'll be right at your door." Weel weel weel, aren't you a smooth operator, Bison

"In our profession, when someone approaches us, it's wise to assume they want something. Don't be their victim." That's good advice from Fadel, actually

"You flip burgers? You certainly don't fit the look. " "What should we look like? With a bun on our head?" I love Style trying to flirt and Fadel responding with pure hostile energy

Serves Style right for trying to flirt with a sharp object (Burger Pin)

"Something happened when I was a kid. I almost drowned." Calling it right now, one of them is ending up in the water in a future ep

Honestly, very fair of Fadel to not like Kant groping his brother in front of their restaurant in broad daylight. Plus, he IS a narc

"What do I have to do if I want to be the first guy to take you out?" "Win Fadel over." "How should I proceed?" "It's impossible. Fadel doesn't trust anybody. He has no friends. He doesn't believe in love. As long as he's single, so am I." "What I hear is, if your brother has someone, it's possible between us." We've arrived at the plot

"I'll do it. Not just for the car, but someone like him needs to be humbled by someone like me." This somehow seems worse than doing it for money, Style

"How you'd find this place?" "Nothing is out of my reach if I really want it." Also, he was literally wearing a pin that said Heart Burger

WHY ARE THEY ZOOMING IN THE BUTTER KNIFE LIKE FADEL'S CONSIDER AN IMPROMPTU BUTTER KNIFE MURDER HAHAHA

Things are not going well for the Fadel-Style flirtationship:

"He's just a normal, harmless tattooist," said Bison, standing over the corpse the guy he and his brother had just murdered

Gkjhkjhg Style's new flirting strategy: Causing a ruckus at the farmer's market

Fadel said: I will ruckus you right back, get hosed, Style

"If you play with him every day like that, you'll only regret it when we have to move again." The cat is a metaphor, perhaps

I guess Kant information-gathering for Style's romance endeavours is two-birds-one-stone because he needs to know about Fadel anyway

Vandalizing your own restaurant to distract your brother is deranged, but not as deranged as being a hitman, so all in perspective I guess

Bison said: Here is your Illustrated Guide to Hitting on Fadel

"You greenlit me to have my friend take your brother out. Wasn't it because you wanted us to be something?" "I just want Fadel to let his hair down a bit. I need some time to live my own life." Both reasonable takes

I like that at no point has Bison asked any questions about the friend that Kant has enlisted. Not gender, age, appearance. Nor has Kant asked for any criteria for Fadel, aside from being bold and crazy. They're both like, 'I trust that your friend is hot and annoying enough to enchant my brother'

"Well, then, based on your books, what should I do in this situation?" Ulterior motives aside, it is sweet that Kant is asking his little brother for advice

"If you want to join me, catch up." HAHAHA get 'im Fadel

I guarantee Style's bleacher cheer is a Heather Ledger reference

"I'd like to be the first to eat you." Style is bold, I'll give him that

"Sorry, I was taking orders from some customers for you." WHAT? Style said: I will convince anyone that I work anywhere, give me five minutes

With Tawan (Bowling Flirter) this show has more racial diversity than any Thai show I've seen (having more than one white guy)

Incredibly, Fadel is responding positively to Style's Hell's Kitchen-esque narration of his cooking

Even more unsubtle references: The music talking about hidden motives during the Bowling Alley Dance-Off

"But you're allowed to look, you know? I don't mind." Fadel said: Oh no, you've found my weakness, which happens to be Naked Style

The closest Style has come to successfully flirting with Fadel is almost initiating a handjob in the sauna

Also that Sauna Uncle was right to be judgmental, this is a public gym, that's not sanitary!

"I like you. I liked you the moment I crashed into you that night. It was love at first sight. So damn romantic. Straight out of a movie." "Or a freaking soap opera. I don't believe you." Wise of you, Fadel

Style said: I have now rewritten my Fadel strategy. Blind horniness will see me through to the end

(And he was right! Fadel has no armour against Style giving him a leetle kiss on the mouth)

"Did I do a good job hitting on your boyfriend?" Not Tawan being a jealousy-for-hire LOL

PLEASE Fadel is so social media savvy, he found out that his brother won a dance competition right away and ambushed him with it. What's he got, a google alert?

"We're in the internet era. Don't you think having no social media would be weirder?" I'm actually with Bison on this one

"What else do you think he wants from me, Fadel? He wants my body. He wants my heart." Bison's sincerity is a little heartbreaking

Fadel said: Okay FINE, the sauna thing got me, sue me

"But for this kill, you need to make it a spectacle." I can't imagine this'll go well for Fadel and Bison

"What would you do to torture the truth out of me? Would you kiss or choke me?" "You'll know." THIS IS A DERANGED interaction to have in a public place

"'If I be waspish, best beware of my sting.'" Kant said: You know, Bison, I actually come with a Shakespearean warning label!

"Do I look like I can hurt anyone?" asked Bison, as if he did not have a body count higher than most serial killers

"Up your game and gain his trust. He'll lead you right into his house." Captain Christ, this feels like you are ASKING Kant to fuck Bison. I mean, he did and he will, but that feels like an HR violation. Not that you have morals, Officer Extortion

"Does your friend know they're hitmen?" "No." There are no ethical relationships in this show

This show is fulfilling a deep-seated need I didn't realize I had watch Dunk Natachai irritate a man into a relationship

"I'll give you some fresh meat daily." A bit much, Style

"Auntie, I'll be right back, I have to win that guy over." "Alright. I'm rooting for you. Do your best." PLEASE why does this excuse work

The romantic music interlude while Fadel is wearing the fast food uniform and Style is wearing a burger mascot costume with cowprint pants is killing me. This is the perfect show:

"All I ask from you is a little decency," said Style, as if he did not squeeze Fadel by the tit in greeting that morning

I know Kant and Bison's makeout and chat is supposed to cute or sexy but I cannot help but be SO alarmed he didn't sanitize his workstation after tattooing someone. And then he touched his mouth! WHERE IS YOUR BLOOD-BORNE PATHOGEN SAFETY????? WHO LET YOU BE A TATTOO ARTIST???

"I'll help you." "Fine. But go get changed into our uniform before that." I love that Fadel is learning to accept help from his Nuisance-with-Benefits

"What the hell is he busy doing?" Your boyfriend's brother

"Your place is pretty popular. You might do better at flipping burgers than killing people." AGAIN, INSANE INTERACTION TO HAVE IN PUBLIC

I guess we're gonna find out what the third little guy who follows Mother around is. He gives off less brother energy and more unpleasant cousin

"You said you'd quit last time too, but as we saw, you ended up having nowhere to go. Didn't the dude you wanted to rely on just disappear?" Ohhhhh, Fadel backstory unlocked

Also, very much assuming Mother had Fadel's ex killed

"I was just getting a tattoo," said Bison, like his brother didn't actively walk in on them doing nipple play

"If Mother didn't take us in, where'd we be? We would've had no parents, no house to live in, nothing!" PLEASE SO SHE RAISED THEM TO BE ASSASSINS LIKE SOME MORE FUCKED UP VERSION OF OLIVER TWIST

I'm not sure what part of this to focus on, the rain striptease, Style's fantasy sequence about getting his own personal striptease, or how Fadel will explain this away

"I'm just a good looking pacifist." Put this on my tombstone

I wonder if Fadel fighting off three men single-handedly and breaking an arm twice will cause Style to reevaluate his pursuit of this romance

"He's gotta be some kind of hitman, assassin, killer. I'm sure of it." Update from 30 seconds later: Sort of! He still wants him, but in a more detective sort of way. Also baffling that Style guessed hitman right away

Also is Kant mentioning to Style that he dances revealing that he was even lying earlier about not wanting to dance, so he could appear like he was dancing for Bison when he agreed? Kant hasn't told the truth one time in the span of three episodes

"I do all the chores at home. And I'm hygienic as hell, I'll have you know." No you're not, Kant, I've seen your aftercare

1) Interesting that we get an actual flashback of Fadel's former love and 2) Were his evening plans just to relive his regrets???

Style crashing Fadel's grief support group is so icky. I don't like it

You know, after this, I think Fadel is legally allowed to kill Style. I'll look the other way

How does the bartender not care about Kant being so suspicious with someone else's drink??? I'd kick him out SO fast

I gotta say, I was not expecting this Fadel-Style interaction to end with them fucking in the grief group spare room

"Fadel, as if I'd let you nail and bail on me like that." To be fair, I think with the sucker punch it qualifies as a hit it and quit it

There is a two-sided consent issue for this beginner's BDSM session, which is both Bison's drink being spiked (for investigative purposes, but still) and also Kant seeming averse to pain. That said, I'm not really rooting for them anyway, if I'm honest!

Well, at least it was a short-lived and clothed BDSM interlude

"What if he was a narc?" Well, I guess we'll find, won't we?

"He stole cars for parts. Cops were after him for years. Did you know that?" "That's pretty cool. Everyone has a past. That's normal." "You know what's not normal? The fact that he was never arrested. You think that's not strange? He must have made some deal with the police." Fadel's pretty good at deducing things, I'll give him that

LOL @ Style's ep 4 intro being the implied coming in his pants

"Don't tell me you're only jogging because of a girl?" "A girl? A boy, actually." "Oh yeah, my bad. I forgot you liked men." Style: MLM King and General Nuisance to Society

It's kind of hilarious that Style's strategy of ghosting Fadel immediately after sex is working. Fadel is consumed by thoughts of him

I can't even begin to describe the number of health code violations here. Right in front of Fadel's salad!

"You didn't think the part where you used to steal cars was worth mentioning?" Good on Bison for confronting Kant about it

"Didn't you see Babe just now?" "Babe?" "The bruises under his clothes. Did he get into a fight at school?" Is this where Kant's ill-founded motives for a relationship turn into real feelings

LMAO Style continuing to sit at the restaurant shirtless is the funniest possible response to Fadel cutting up his shirt. Touché!

"The teacher's always calling me and Babe sissy boys just because we go everywhere together. And because Babe and I love reading novels." This just in from Heart Killer High: It's gay to have friends and enjoy literature (from a teacher, no less!!)

"Ever since my parents died in a plane crash, I had to take over all the home expenses." That's such an extreme circumstance of death, is this Chekov's plane crash, to be brought back up as a romantic device later on in the show?

Mr. Sombat the Teacher's a homophobe bc he's a self-hating predator? Hate this for everyone involved

If Kant and Bison were less insane, they'd have reported the picture to the cops instead of having a brawl with this teacher in the school bathroom

"I got nailed and bailed," announced Style, at the grief group, like that was a normal thing to do

(Also. Since Style doesn't have a mum around. I sincerely thought he might ACTUALLY talk about grief this time. Colour me stupid!)

Poor Fadel, now the entire grief group knows his business

"You slept with me, so take responsibility for it." "Why? Are you pregnant?" Hahah, Fadel DOES have a sense of humour

Please, is he going to have sex with him in the grief group basement AGAIN? Fadel, I think this is a You Problem, now

"I might not trust you 100%, but I have to admit... What you did today totally rocks." Oh Bison, you do not have good taste in boyfriends

"You have my heart, so take good care of it." Oh, he won't, Bison!

"I don't like myself when I look for you on the morning jog or at the market. I don't like waiting to see if you'd show up at my restaurant or my go-to club. You—I don't like you being in my life and changing it. I don't like feeling like this. I don't like it! I don't like that I miss you." Fadel, I want to study you. Why has ANY of this been attractive to you?

Fadel and Style are christening their love with a handjob in the rafters of an abandoned warehouse

"I'm sorry for not taking good care of you." "Nah. I have to know how to hold my own." "But that's not all you do, right? You stand up for other people too." Kant and Babe have the healthiest dynamic in this whole show

"You don't know even know me." "And what about it? I'll learn more about you when you're my boyfriend. I'm 100% in. It's your turn to let me in a little bit." I do like that Fadel and Style can finally have a real conversation

"Fine, I'll be your boyfriend." HAHAHA Fadel is such a hypocrite, he's allowed to have a boyfriend but not Bison?

"I think Ruerat was behind the death of our parents." So they both have a Batman like origin story of watching their separate sets of parents get murdered? I feel like Mother™ did it LOL

"Crap, Kant! You made me hit on a gunman?" "Not a gunman. A hitman." HAHAHA I thought you had considered this possibility already, Style!

Not Style agreeing to spy on his newfound Hitman Boyfriend LOL

Khgkjgkh I do actually feel bad for Fadel, he finally propositioned Style back and was promptly rejected

"Just make I don't see anymore 'K's on anyone. Or else it's 'kill.'" Hazards of dating a hitman

"Your parents refused to sell them their lands. He had them killed. That was how you became orphans, and I took you in." That was a faster explanation than I was expecting

"You're pretty cheeky now." "I thought you liked that." "I do." Unexpected Keen-Tanont Office Romance???

"I thought you'd start dating and leave me too." Frankly, Mother, I think it's on you for recruiting so many young, hot, gay people into your organized crime

"I don't mind, you know. I don't like you that much. I'll get over it." Fadel is lying, he likes Style so much to put up with all this

"I look good on the court. It'll definitely make you scream." [Bison screams a soft sarcastic 'ah!'] That did charm me

Smart of Kant to come up with a preemptive reason for why he's taking notes on Bison (date purposes)

"Did you become a mechanic because you wanted to, or because of your family business?" "At first, I just wanted to help my dad out. But when my mother died, and he lost his bearings for a bit, I was glad I could have something I could talk to him about. But after a while, it kinda grew on me." Style can only discuss his grief at go-karting, not at the grief group

"When I came out to him about liking dudes, I was so afraid of disappointing him. But you know what he did? He tried to set me up with another mechanic at the garage." I love Style's dad

"Excuse me. My car broke down." "Need it fixed?" HAHAHA honestly, I love their silly little garage roleplay sex. Good for them!

Also: Style took about 20 minutes to hesitate about having sex with a killer, but he seems he's over it

"My parents were murdered." More honesty than I expected! However, now you murder other people's family for your job, Fadel? Violence is a cycle

"Have you had any lovers before?" "My life isn't exactly easy. I don't want to drag anyone along with me." "Is owning a burger joint so difficult that you can't date?" "I don't think anyone wants to risk their life with me." "What risk?" "I mean... the risk of the business going under." Nice save, Fadel

"Maybe you just need to find something else to do. Do something that allows you to love without risking your loved ones." Style said: Pretty please stop murdering people so we can be husbands, Fadel

"He scares me. But I like his rough, romantic side." "This ain't no time to confess your weird feelings." When else can he, Kant?

"If you like me at all, you have to help my friend!" "Fine. I'll help! But I can't promise anything." HAHAH Style said: Boyfriend Trap Card, Activated

"But I'm here to tell you to stop following me." 1) Not the Puss-in-Boots-Humpty-Dumpty-Esque flashback showing James was always watching but also 2) Why do Joongdunk shows always name their stalkers James? Which James did something to you?

"Don't fall in love with him at all costs." A little late for this warning to Style, Kant

"But he did tell me he really likes your brother. He said your brother is weird and off-putting." Finding each other weird and off-putting and somehow liking that anyway is the entire foundation of the Fadel-Style relationship

I see that despite his protests, Fadel is still wearing the bowling shirt. He's in love <3

"He finally looks like someone trustworthy for once," said Fadel, right before it cut to Kant breaking into their house

Well, this CCTV footage will inevitably bite Kant in the ass

"You carry a gun?" Call me unreasonable, but I think a boyfriend carrying a gun would be the end of the relationship for me

"I love every story on your body." Bison, you romantic son of a bitch

"It wouldn't hurt to be wary of me. Like I said, no one can truly lay themselves bare for someone. The real me might be scarier than you think." "Will you lay yourself bare for me? I promise that no matter who you are, I'll still like you." Fadel and Style are soooo romantic in such a fucked up way. They really do like each other

"I just hope you don't get any new scars." Styleeeeeee

"You need to exercise daily." Hit It and Quit it, meet Sex and Flex

"You slept with him, did you?" "Uh... I..." That's fair, Fadel, Style's dad has trapped you, there's no way to win this conversation

"I won't be depending on your tattooing money anymore." "Who did you take that big mouth after?" [Cheekily] "Who do you think raised me?" Babe is my favourite part of Kant's story

"You haven't figured out who their boss is." Isn't that YOUR job, Captain Christ? This is a garbage police department

LMAO @ BISON MISSING THE CCTV FOOTAGE BC HE'S TOO BUSY TEXTING HIS BOYFRIEND, WHO IS THE GUY ON THE CCTV BREAKING INTO HIS HOUSE

I do love that Bison wants to be closer with his brother like Kant

"What do you like about [Style?]" "His damn cockiness. It's funny." Me too Fadel HAHAHA

"Kant makes me want to wake up every morning, hoping my life would be different." BISON YOU ARE SO SWEET

"Let's avenge our parents, and we can finally date without any worries." What a thing to say

[Worriedly] "Does that mean tonight could be the last night I see him?" Style said: Fuck the whole hitman thing, I love my boyfriend and I want to keep him!!

ARE KANT AND BISON GONNA HAVE SEX IN THE BOWLING ALLEY? THAT'S SO FUNNY

"You wanted to bowl so bad you became a burglar?" "No, I just wanted to spend some alone time with you at the place we first met." It'd be real romantic if you weren't selling him out to the police, Kant

"I have a confession to make." Style has been a police informant for like one week max, and he is already WAY closer to telling Fadel than Kant EVER has been to telling Bison in all six episodes. Until this morning, he didn't even think Fadel would be going to jail!

"You don't have to do anything to impress me, I want to see the real you." Fadeeeeeel

"If you're sick of sneaking about, you don't have to do it. How long are you going to live someone else's life?" Style said: Please pretty please stop being a murderer and marry me instead

You know, Kant is committing actual crimes in breaking and entering and stealing food and drink from the bowling alley. But we don't talk about those crimes, bc of all the murder

"Hey, do you think we're going to be arrested? If we are, the charges are gonna be long. Tresspassing, stealing, damage to property, we're literally eating their snacks. We're definitely going to jail." Bison said: Wrong, I'm talking about those crimes

"After tomorrow, I'm quitting at the restaurant, and I'll be free." No you won't, baby, there's six more episodes

"I'll go anywhere, as long as I'm with you." Like jail, Kant?

I do realize I'm giving Kant a lot more shit for this than Style, and perhaps Bison and Fadel deserve the most shit, as they are doing the murders. However. I love Style and Fadel, they're so cute and they're like, desperately trying to tell the other about their moral dilemmas in coded language, where the deceitfulness with Kant and Bison feels very one-sided, bc Kant has much more information than Bison

THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX IN THE LANES OF THE BOWLING ALLEY!!! Kings of Unhygenic Gestures of Affection

Taking this cute picture with Style and the band will probably also come back to bite Fadel

"What else do you do besides working as a host? You can tell me. I won't judge." And he won't! Style loves you, knowing you kill people for a living, Fadel

They've both tried to talk their lovers out of the hitman job as best they could, and failed

"Welcome to the Ruerat foundation's charity for better education." Well, that explains why Babe is also at this party

If you had asked me how they were going to infiltrate this party, in big bear mascot costumes with guns in their sleeves would not have been my guess. They love to put Joong in a mascot outfit

"I was aiming for Ruerat. You think I'd kill a kid?" Not on purpose, but it was a fair concern, Fadel

"I've always told you how we can never know someone truly." So Fadel was parroting Mother when he said this to Style

Fadel said: Time to discuss if our boyfriends are narcs!

"If you found out they're snitches, what would you do?" "What I always do. Kill them." Fadel's face says he does not agree

"No matter how much you love someone, you gotta prioritize saving your own butts." Style's face also says he doesn't agree

Style is soooo happy his boyfriend's back in the burger joint

"I adopted the black cat you always feed. I went to see you at the restaurant and he was just there. I didn't want him to starve." "Thank you, for remembering what I love." Alright, Kant and Bison is growing on me

"I've missed you. I've got no one messing with me when you're not there." "So I'm just annoying you. Is that even a good thing?" "It is. Having someone to miss is good." Fadel and Style are SOOOO in love it's killing them

[Bison, off-screen] "Fadel, they're the snitches." If you listen closely, you can hear Fadel's heart breaking into thousands of tiny pieces

Bison appears to be in the anger stage of grief

"This is no time for kisses!" I disagree, Style, I think kissing on the mechanic's creeper/rollerboard is a great use of garage time

"He was just wiping off something from my face," said Style, like his dad did not walk in on him and Fadel making out just moments ago

"Just stay over so I don't have to worry." Dad supports the boyfriend sleepovers, which are a thinly veiled excuse to snoop

"My son may talk big and annoy people, but when he loves, he does with his whole heart." YEAH HE DOES, STYLE'S DAD <3

Honestly smoking indoors beside a sleeping person is so rude Kant

"No matter what happens, I'll keep all the good memories." I think this is Bison's version of a threat to kill you, Kant

I wonder how much of Fadel in Cuddle Me Babygirl Mode is him putting on an act trying to distract Style versus him giving into his own desires to distract Style

Are they going to resolve this conflict by pulling real guns during a BB gun fight, bc that's crazy

"Kant has to deal with me. He started this, after all." Fadel said: I know it's not your fault honey, I'm gonna kill your friend

"You watch my six. Make sure no one shoots me in the back. Can I trust you to do that?" "You can trust me." The coded Fadel-Style conversations continue

I was right, Bison did pull his real gun LMAOOOOO

"I told Kant to ask Style to take you out, just so you get out of my way." Ohhhhhhh Fadel's heart being broken twice!

"I'm your brother! I trust you more than anyone. And you did that to me? How could you?" Fadel doesn't have a single person who wasn't using him in some way :((((((

"Do what they did to us. Make them fall in love with us. Head over heels. That's when we kill them." Well, mission accomplished buddy, Style is already in love with you. Also that explains Baby Mode

Bison's black-and-white fantasy montage of ways he'd murder his boyfriend PLEASE

"You're not mad at me anymore?" "That's beside the point. It's your special day. I sure am mad, but I'm still your brother." Fadel is the best big brother

"You think those brothers are weirdly in love with us lately?" "Weird? Look who we are. It's normal that they're crazy about us." Style said: I chalk this behaviour up to how hot we are

"They didn't have a choice then, but now we're like the handsome way out for them. I bet that changed their minds." "You really think so?" "Hell yeah. I believe in the power of love. Love can turn a bad guy good." I admire Style's unfailing optimism

You can see the press-on tattoos on Kant's shoulder cracking as they have this narc conversation weirdly, in side-by-side showers. This problem could've been solved by that make-up artist watching ONE video about the tattoo makeup in Aquaman

They're like, see, Fadel and Bison aren't COMPLETELY immoral, they don't like when other people commit domestic violence

The close-up on Kant's wrist with all the crackling tattoos hgkjhgkjg BABYGIRL REAPPLY. It's bad enough that they are like, the starkest black, which a healed tattoo normally isn't, but that they are FALLING OFF IN CLOSE-UPS!! Who approved this

[Stops choking abruptly] "Will you marry me?" The fact that Fadel, who is supposedly going to kill Style, was ready to heimlich him. He is but a loverboy trapped in an assassin's body

"You're usually too smart for me." "Not at all. I'm a damn fool. That's how you got me." It's a double meaning, in got me (to date you) and got me (entrapped in your scheme)

Kant internally, probably: You wouldn't kill me while I'm babysitting Billy, would you, Bison?

Keen said: I've come to ruin Bison's birthday by spying on you

"Does doing it in narrow space turn you on?" If there's one thing that Style is always ready to do, it's proposition Fadel for sex

LMAO WHAT WAS KEEN GOING TO SHOOT STYLE AND KANT IN THE BOWLING ALLEY???? THIS ESTABLISHMENT HAS SEEN TO MANY FLUIDS FROM ALL THEM

We once again return to giving Fadel and Bison the opportunity to interrupt a domestic violence (gun threats in the bowling alley)

"It's me! I'm Ying's new boyfriend." "Fadel! Take it back. You're my boyfriend!" Style said: I AM jealous, and this is NOT an open relationship

DV Guy said: I actually brought a gun and a knife to the gun fight; we call that being prepared (rest in pieces Bison)

"Can you please at least give me a sign before you do something like that again? I'm always here to help." Are you offering to be a hitman trainee, Style?

"But while I'm gone, if something happens to my brother, it's your fault." Fadel said: My new assassination method is guilt trip, Kant

"Whatever act we've put on til now won't be necessary." Can't tell if Fadel is being spiteful or kind by forewarning Style

"I promise when you wake up, the version of me you'll see is the real me. I won't lie to you anymore." Too little, too late Kant

Bison's eyes say: Don't think bc I was stabbed I can't kick your ass

Also Kant tried to quit being a narc, but he was already fired

WOW, WHAT WAS INJECTING KANT IN THE NECK SUPPOSED TO ACCOMPLISH????

Why does Captain Christ get to say a fuck and goddamn!! LET FADEL SAY FUCK, HE DESERVES IT

Fadel's eyes say: Just so you know, chloroforming you wasn't fun for me either, Style

"You work for the police." "I don't know anything about those cops. Kant asked me to take you out so you could leave him alone and he could freely investigate." Good job for being honest right away, Style

"Now that I know you, I really love you Fadel." Not the best time to confess, my love:

"I'll tell you everything, but can we talk on land?" OH HEY, they did end up in the water, called that way back

Contextually, based on these flashbacks, I guess that Kant was ALSO in the plane crash, he just happened to survive and nearly drowned in the sea. It was Chekov's plane-crash-drowning-while-holding-Chekov's-not-gun

Bison yelling "Kant!" into the water as if he did not force him at gunpoint to jump into it

Please, the way Fadel had Style re-dress and then continued to hold him at gunpoint in broad daylight. This is so silly

"I know I deserve to die. Well, at least I won't die alone. It won't be lonely." Wow, Style really does find a way to be optimistic about everything

"Yes, Mr. Hitman." The Tale of Mr. Hitman and Mr. Hitman's Boyfriend

[Sarcastically] "Why don't you just take a nap instead or something? I'll drive where you want me to go, my dear hitman." [1 minute later, Fadel lowering the and gun closing his eyes in the car] He can't help it, he has to do what his boyfriend asks, it's like a compulsion

PLEASE WHY IS THE MUSIC SO PEPPY IN THIS THREATENING CAR RIDE

Style was like: Maybe this car ride was for sex, I don't know how a hitman's mind works

"You ought to let these kids have all the fun they want. They'll become back when they're sick of each other. We parents can only do so much to take care of them, but their hearts are out of our control." This receptionist has a lot of friendly advice

"I'll even give you free condoms and lube." Receptionist said: Have fun, be safe!

"You're one hell of a wimp for a snitch." Bison said: We're broken up, by the way

"The rest of your life is to spend making up to me for the way you made me feel." "And what did I make you feel? Say it. Say what you feel for me." Bold approach Kant, I like it

HAHAHA THE STYLE-FADEL ROAD TRIP IS SO UNSERIOUS. $5 ON THEM HAVING SEX IN THE CAR BED:

"Kinda like a fantasy, don't you think? Doing it in a car with a mechanic?" Style said: If I'm going to die, I would like to go out doing what I love: Having sex with Fadel

Style is fine with being handcuffed to the bed as long as he can play it as a bondage kink

Awwww Style's list of things to tell his dad when dies is so sweet

"Are you crying?" Fadel said: Oh no, my other weakness

"If you really loved your brother, you shouldn't have said yes to this job." "That's exactly why I did it. If I didn't, Captain was going to reopen my cases. And if I went to jail, Babe wouldn't be able to live. I'm all he has." Well, Kant got to say his bit, even if it's not particularly helpful

Bison's shirt saying, "I'm Retired, Don't Ask Me to Do a Damn Thing," really adds to the energy of him forcing Kant to fish and cook at gunpoint

Lol @ Bison's domestic worker being the one to explain that his parents were murdered

"I told you I wouldn't run. What do I have to do for you to trust me?" Style said: The S in Style stands for Stockholm Syndrome

"Either a hitman like you still has his humanity, or you're in love with me." Style can single-handedly turn this into a romcom

"This is just like the beginning of a horror film. A murderer is gonna come after us in a minute," said Style, to his boyfriend, who was both a murderer and who had recently threatened to kill him

The cutting between these two pairs is really highlighting how much Fadel is full of empty threats. He confronts Style, and then lowers his gun and rests while Style could easily get away. He brings Style to the motel and then sleeps there at his behest. He is the first to offer his water and food. Comparing that to Bison, who did legitimately make Kant drown for a bit, and is genuinely denying him food and water, it's a stark contrast

"I thought I was going to see the mission through and wipe my criminal record clean for good. But who'd have thought that I'd fall for you?" Again, a bad moment for a confession

LMAO WHAT'S SAYING YOUR BDSM SAFE WORD GONNA HELP IF BISON WANTS TO SHOOT YOU?

THE WAY THEY ALWAYS MAKE GUY SIVAKORN PLAY THE RANDOM ADULT COUPLE FIGHTING

Not Fadel making Style tie this couple up in their own home. He's an accomplice, now!:

"You and I are getting married. Can you please let this go? You're the only one I'm serious with." "'Serious with,' my bum. You were never serious with me. You made me fall for you and then betrayed me. You lying bastard, you jerk." [Fadel glares at Style, projecting their relationship issues onto Jimmy and Popcorn]

"You want him dead? I'll kill him." Solidarity...?

"If you love him, why did you fool him?" This is Fadel's extremely fucked up couple's therapy exercise

PLEASE WHY DID THEY IMMEDIATELY CUT FROM JIMMY ASKING FADEL TO SHOOT HIM TO STYLE OFFICIATING THEIR WEDDING. THIS IS THE STUPIDEST SHOW EVER. I LOVE IT:

"I guess they really wanted to quit. But they could have just told me. There was no need to take off like that." That's shockingly understanding from Mother

"If you want to kill me, just do it. I deserve it." Kant might finally be apologizing

"I love you, Bison. I love you. With all my being." [Sobbing] "You're not fooling me again, are you?" You've really re-traumatized each other in many ways, huh?

Like objectively Bison and Kant's story is more dramatically-grounded, and shows greater acting range, but Fadel and Style are just so charming, I just want them to be on screen the whole time

"Thank you for being here," said Popcorn, to the guys who broke into their house, tied them up, held them at gunpoint, and then officiated their wedding

"My boyfriend is also good in the kitchen." Style hasn't stopped calling Fadel his boyfriend this whole time

PLEASE THE GUN IS STILL ON THE TABLE. RIDICULOUS

"Kinda hoped it was gonna be a romantic road trip." And it is!

"Since we already bickered today, and we already fought, I guess the only thing left to do is bone," said Popcorn, while Style looked at Fadel like: PLEEEASE

"I know what I did wasn't 'trivial.' But I'm ready to do anything to make you forgive me." Style is also apologizing finally

HAHAHAHAHA YOU KNOW, GOOD FOR JIMMY AND POPCORN FOR DECIDING TO FIGHT BACK, EVEN IF STYLE AND FADEL AREN'T CURRENTLY A THREAT

"After I kill someone, I have to go out there and do something to forget it. Do something fun. Play bowling." What a thing to say

"I don't care what kind of past you've been through, since mine was not much better." I think stealing cars to support your brother is several leagues better than murder for hire, Kant

"If I quit one day, will you move here with me?" Big talk from someone who was dumping bottles of water in his head earlier

Now whose idea was it to put these two giant men in this tiny bathtub? Cause it was a great idea, please continue:

"You're pretty decent at your core, you know? How come you're a hitman?" A fair question, Style

Fadel isn't in a place to engage in emotional intimacy but Style IS in a place to initiate physical intimacy (the place is the bathtub)

"As long as I'm alive, I'll make you kiss me again." Rooting for you, Style

"When the plane went down, we were on our way back from Europe." They're finally having Kant explain the plane crash

HAHHAHA Fadel actually napping in the car. World's most unserious hostage situation

"I just hope Kant is still alive." "I can't guarantee that. You'll have to find out for yourself." Fadel said: My brother processes things differently than I do

I also appreciate that neither Style nor Kant have had any questions about Fadel and Bison having two separate sets of parents. They're like, 'You're brothers, and how you got there is none of my business' <3

LOL @ Style requesting more clothes, I had wondered where all of his outfits were coming from. I guess the road trip was pre-meditated for Fadel

"'Gorgeous man with clear skin found dead in a crop top.'" Style has chosen a perfect epitaph. Also I give it 10 secs before Fadel caves

Update from 8 seconds later: It was even less than that

"I'm just letting you find a little joy before I kill you." Liar, you just want to take him on a shopping date, Fadel

"Style, duck!" Fadel said: HEY. No one's allowed to kill my boyfriend except for me

"I'll distract him." "Are you out of your mind? How the hell will you outrun bullets?" "Trust me, I'm fast." Awww Couple's First Shoot-Out <3

Fadel will now actually be forced to admit he doesn't want any harm to come to Style because of Style's bullet wound

"Kant... You're alive. I'm happy to see that," said Style, who was actively losing blood by the minute while Kant was just cuddling and teaching his boyfriend to cook. Oh how the unserious tables have turned

"Save your questions. Help him first." "I'll help!" "Stay back! Let go." Fadel may have forgiven Style as soon as he started bleeding but he is not ready to forgive Kant

Bison performing minor surgery on Style without anaesthetic. Rough for everyone involved, but mostly Style!

"He's on our side now." "And you're stupid enough to believe him." That's a fair point, Fadel

"Now that you mention it, it still hurts." "Want another stab wound?" Now that's true Older Brother Snark

"I'm here mostly because Fadel dragged my ass here." "Fine, fine. You can't just say you love me like a normal person, huh?" "I love sooooo—" The bullet wound hasn't detracted from Style's delightful personality

Honestly, Fadel beating Kant's ass is a rational response

"Fadel's right. I brought all this on us. If this is how it ends, let it end with me. If you're going to kill me, go right ahead. But Style has nothing to do with this. I lied getting him rope into this." "Don't you dare take all the credits. If you're going to kill him, kill me too. No one forced me into. I agreed to it willingly." Style is such a good friend! Also, love the accountability, and Fadel learning that Style didn't know about the narc thing until later:

"People make mistakes," said Kant, as if that clarified anything

"I really love your brother, and my friend really loves you. The two of us will do anything to make sure the two of you get the life you want." How will you resolve this though, they're murderers?

"Any of you allergic to seafood?" Crazy way to end the confrontation, Fadel, love it

OMG @ the flashback to the baby hitmen. Also I thought the age difference between Fadel and Bison was bigger, they make it seem like they're maybe a year apart at most

"I... will be your everything. Call me Mother." Don't like that

"Why do we have to learn to use a gun?" "The world is full of people who want to hurt us. I want you to know how to defend yourselves. It's a skill. You will get to use it one day." Tricking them into training to be hitmen seems worse than raising them that way openly

"Why not let the law and police deal with him?" Reasonable, Bison

"The world is made up of good people and bad people. Our job is to kill the bad guys." Ohhhhh poor boys

"Hire someone. Maybe the one we hired two years ago." I assume this is the guy who killed Fadel's ex, who, while not confirmed, I have been assuming is Super Dead

"I know you're good at making up stories." "Kinda sounds like an insult." I agree, Style, felt backhanded coming from Bison

"You think... I have a chance?" Incredible that Style still wants one

"A list of all my relatives. I want you to be sure that I'm not lying to you again. If I do that, you can kill me and my entire extended family." The CONFIDENCE Style has in knowing Fadel doesn't want to kill him is astounding. Like, I also believe he doesn't want to kill you, but crazy to offer up your family for it!

"Are you insane? You're selling your whole family out for this? And you said you're a family man." "Because I know for a fact I won't ever lie to you again." Again, I'm with Fadel, seems extreme

"I'm only worth as much as one car to you." HAHAHA Fadel is more offended about the car thing than the snitch thing

"That was in the past," said Style, like that clarified anything

NOT STYLE SAYING HE'S GOING TO WALK INTO THE OCEAN TO COMPEL FADEL TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE LMAO????

"Fine! I'll give you a chance!" Fadel said: PLS DON'T SEPSIS BABY

"Even when you're threatening me, you're worried about me." It's the thesis of your relationship, Style

YEAHHHHHH FADEL AND STYLE! TWO GUYS IN THE OCEAN, ZERO FEET APART, MAKING OUT, BECAUSE THEY ARE GAY!!!

So many thoughts running through right now. 1) Love that this was Fadel's response to being asked what he'd want to do 2) Like Fadel, I am also worried about Style getting sepsis from this 3) Can't believe Kant and Bison's solution to Fadel being mad about scheming was more lying and scheming (tricking them into going to the beach together), and it worked! 4) Genuinely think these actors must've been so excited to film this, they kiss recreationally all the time, and they haven't had a chance in like two whole episodes 5) As sexy as the ocean is, go do this inside where it's warm

"Won't you just let Ruerat go?" It's Kant's turn to say, 'Pretty please don't do a murder'

"I told you, this would be the last mission." "It won't be. If you do it now, you'll do it again." I appreciate that they're circling back to the whole hitman ethics thing. Kant and Style have spent so much time asking for forgiveness and almost no time processing the fact their boyfriends are murderers and maybe Fadel and Bison should take some time to be accountable for that

"The future we picture together is more than possible." Is it, Kant? Can you guarantee them legal immunity?

"There's a photo of a man in the glove compartment of your car. Who is he? I'm sorry for prying. If you don't want to tell me, I understand." "He's my ex." Communication!!!

Fadel never telling his ex what he did versus Style knowing about it the whole length of their relationship. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

"I know I'm in love with the right man." Styleeeeee

Fadel resting his head Style's lap in bed. Babygirl mode is back!!

"You told me you'd quit your job and be with me." "Wait a little longer. Wait until everything's settled down. We won't have to sneak around to see each other again." The Keen-Tanont office romance makes a shocking return!

[Kant, nervously] "I think this is far enough." [Bison, kindly] "Baby steps, huh?" "One day, I'll be swimming with you in the middle of the ocean." Awwww Kant facing his fear of the ocean

The brothers and besties ocean frisbee is soooo cute

Kant's "There's nothing I can do to change your mind, is there?" versus Style's "Call me. Keep me updated," because Style already knows Fadel's not going to change his mind 🥺

This episode is stressing me out, where is this going

"The person who killed your parents was your mother." Well, we could've all seen this one coming. Called that maybe episode 3?

"Lilly was once a hired gun, just like you two. She used to work for me. I hired her to poison people, to kill people." I feel like that's still your fault, Ruerat. You asked her to kill them!

"But in the end, she just adopted the children of people she killed and raised them as hitmen." Well, new level of fucked up family dynamics unlocked

Honestly, I was expecting Fadel to beat Ruerat up MORE than that

"What about the lives we've wasted. What about the freedom I've long for, the love I refrain from? We killed people we didn't even want to kill." The love I refrain from!!! Brutal in all ways

Bison is Team Kill Mother, while Fadel is Team We Need a Plan

"Now that it's mission accomplished, can we finally quit?" "As you wish. You can do whatever you want." She's definitely still sending a hitman after them

"In this industry, once you're in, you don't get to walk away easily." Yeah, sounds about right

"You gotta push back when he refuses your help." Babe has no idea what he's encouraging Kant to do

A surprising amount of this show takes place at the bowling alley

"Let me help you deal with the person who hurt your parents." SCREAM KANT IS LISTENING TO BABE'S ADVICE

You know, this whole time I've been wondering when in the hell that scene where Style has Fadel in that chair is from and now with this context of what Kant's asking, I'm wondering if it's going to be Training-My-Boyfriend-To-Be-A-Hitman-In-Two-Weeks Montages. Insane. Tell me more

Update from much later: It was from the series music video

"Style. I don't want to lose you." "Neither do I. That's why you need to let me help you." HAHAHA THERE IS GOING TO BE A TRAINING MONTAGE. OKAY. I'M ON BOARD

"I was a narc once, not to mention a car thief. I think I'm more than qualified for the job." Not Kant sharing his resume of shady activities. Also murder is still a jump

Fadel's like: This is a nightmare scenario for me, actually

"I won't distract you while we're on the job." LOL unexpectedly, it's Bison who is a hindrance to Kant's training needs

"I feel sorry for him. He's eating all alone." Keen SHOT you, Style

Extremely expectedly, Style is much too obnoxious to be competent at reconnaissance

LOL @ Kant the Caddy Boytoy. He's a great liar, I'll give him that

I don't think Style's plan to be Fake Room Service took into account, Keen shot him, and therefore knows what he looks like

"Who are these people?" Keen's brother technically, but it seems like their family status is 'it's complicated'

Also the implication that Tanont has NO information. Rough

"You dare ask me to spare your boyfriend when you were going to shoot mine?" And DID shoot him! Tanont's lucky Fadel's nicer

"He didn't leave you. Mother put a hit on him because she wanted you to keep working for her." Yeah, I think we all assumed that

However: It's good all three hitboys have common ground now

[Kicks Keen in the chest] "That's for shooting me." HAHA Style

HAHAHAHA Bison and Kant doing a romance at the place same empty pool where Fadel tied style up. World-building on locations important to the boys? Or economizing on location budgets, like bowling alley? You decide!

"If only I didn't get close to him... he'd still be alive." Oh, Fadel

"You had the full right to love and to want a future with him." I love Style holding space Fadel's former love

"Please just leave me. I won't even get mad at you. Live the life you deserve. Don't leave it with me." This is so desparately sad for Fadel

"If I was scared, I'd have run away the day I found out you're a hitman. But I stay with you, because I love who you are." Styleeeee

I haven't really been talking about it, but the music in this series is SO good. They choose exactly the right songs for each moment

Also. Where've they put Tanont while having this heart-to-heart LMAO isn't he sort of a hostage

"I don't want anything to do with killing people anymore." Again, I must ask if Tanont is finding out about this hitman thing in real time. In any case, he's taken it astonishingly well

"I'm going to kill her." "Don't do it. I don't want you to kill anyone again." I admire that Kant is still encouraging a moral opposition to killing, even knowing they've killed a lot already

"I'll talk to Captain Christ in case there anything he can do." ACABADCC (All Cops are Bastards, And Definitely Captain Christ)

HAHAHAHAH when Style and Kant said: "[We] can only give you the smaller fish," I was not expecting them to have Ruerat tied up on the bathroom floor

"I'll do everything I can." They had Captain Christ say it in English so we knew he's serious

"Didn't you say Kant made a deal with that captain?" "I don't trust him. Cops are always looking for ways to up their ranks, right?" Fadel's panicked little smile about the fake passport and Style's immediate distrust of cops. A love story after my own heart!

"It takes 20 years for these cases to expire. We'll be old men by that time." "So what if we're old? I'll still wanna be with you." That's a marriage proposal, Style

"I've always wanted a brother." Bison, not to be pedantic, but you have one!

"I wish you more happy and sexy years to come." Honestly, great birthday wish, Lilly

Style and Kant are doing really well on their first official mission together, charming their guest, poisoning people, etc.

OMG @ THE HOME VIDEOS OF THE MURDERS HAHAHAH

"Hello. I'm dating your son, Mother." HGKHGH solid execution

You can really see how close Bisons' emotions are to the surface

"You promised you won't kill anyone again." This bathroom confrontation seems somewhat out of place in the context of their whole scheme, but maybe it's all part of the plan?

"If they torture you for information, don't put up with it. Just confess." Fadel loves Style more than his freedom <3

"Just hand them over, and you'll be spared." "If I don't make it, you don't make it. You bribed a school administrator to get your kid into that school." LMAO THIS IS NOT AT ALL THE SAME STAKES, MURDER IS A WAY BIGGER CRIME THAN BRIBERY

"How many years?" "Five." "No. I won't accept anything less than their freedom." "But we'll take it." Good for Bison, I think that's about as much as he and Fadel could expect

"It's all the consequences of my own actions, anyway. I really did all those bad things. I deserve this. I'm not sad because I'm going to jail. I'm just sad because I won't get to be with the man I love." Bison has a really healthy perspective on his horrible life

"I have to take responsibility for what I did. I can't change the past. This could be a chance for me to start over. I want to be a good man who deserves everything you for me." Fadel 💔❤️‍🩹

This is the most extreme version of the ep 11 breakup. They're apart for five years, not because they want to, but because one half of them will be in imprisoned

"You're dating Style. You're as good as being my family." How will Style explain to his dad that his boyfriend is going to prison for five years for being a hitman

"And since gay marriage is legal now, you two should definitely do that." 1) Gay marriage was legalized in Thailand officially only two weeks before this episode aired, this is such current information, do you think they added it in later, or they planned it around when the law was taking effect? 2) I'm gonna cry about it actually, it was so disheartening before to have that reminder of 'you can't actually have this' and now people can!!!!!! 3) To have this dialogue come specifically from a parent!! 4) The episode where Style officiates the gay wedding aired BEFORE gay marriage was legal in Thailand. It means a lot to me when shows take an active stance on equal rights. I love you The Heart Killers

"Give me five years. I just want to save up enough money [to get married], and I'll come talk to you, Dad." Fadel 😭😭😭

Kant said: I'll propose right now, don't test me, Bison

Fadel's kiss and sneaky paintball attack while giggling. He has so much lightness in his heart now

"You always find something good in a bad guy." "I believe people can change. I love a mission. You'll be my.... Project Boyfriend. I'll help you turn over a new leaf." Style said, "I can fix him," and he did!

HAHAHAHA THAT SCENE WHERE FADEL WAS DIGGING IN LIKE EP 3 WAS HIM DIGGING HIS OWN GRAVE? GRIM!!

"I'll write it down later, but just bury me here when I die." Asking Style to arrange his funeral is Fadel's version of proposing

"When I die, I'll be lying right next to you. I won't let you get lonely." Style said: Gesture of affection received

Fadel kissing Style's shoulder while Style kisses Fadel's forehead is the cutest thing in the world. Fadel's little confused face when he receives the affection he's also trying to give!!!!

"Ever since I met you, I've been thinking less and less about death." Fadel 😭😭😭😭

"You're just romantic in an oddly specific way [...] Don't die on me just yet. Stay and be weirdly romantic with me for a very long time." The new thesis of the Style-Fadel relationship 💗

"Show me the milky way," to ask Bison to see his tits is crazy

"But you're so sensitive. You just mask it all under your jokes." "Everyone has their own way of dealing with sadness, right? You pretend it doesn't hurt. I bury it under my positivity." Another premise of the Style-Fadel relationship: Being emotionally avoidant in similar but slightly different ways

Fadel taking Style on a tour of coping mechanisms he doesn't feel like he needs anymore (his tombstone, the anonymous grief group) but also places that feel good for him (the harmlessness of paintball, the comfort of cooking at Heart Burger)

"I've actually opened so many different restaurants. Thai, Japanese, Korean, Italian. But as it turned out, I like this one the best." Fadel opening up about his past while sharing his dream of the future 💘

"You want me to run this place while you're gone?" Styleeeeee, he is so fucking sweet!!! And Fadel's, "Just focus on your garage," because they care more about each other than their own dreams

Style said: You're not getting rid of me that easily, Fadel!!!!

"Give me a tattoo." "No way. How could I? I only had one lesson." That's how you know they didn't consult a tattoo artist in making this show, no tattoo artist would ask for this

"The story of you and me will be etched on my skin forever." Very romantic, Kant

The way that Kant and Bison are getting increasingly more tearful as they say their goodbyes 🥺

Style's positivity finally starting to crack as Fadel pulls away 😭

Oh they're SOBBING, I'm so sad. WHY IS THE BURGER HITMAN SHOW MAKING ME CRY

I will not lie to you, I was kind of hoping they'd skip the prison parts, but I understand why not

"The worst part is only getting a few minutes to talk to him. I see him but I can't touch him." Realistic incarceration problems

"Is there no way we can hold them in our arms again?" PLEASE don't tell me Style and Kant are going to try to get themselves imprisoned to see their boyfriends, that'd be INSANE

DON'T BE STUPID, DON'T BE STUPID. YOU'VE GOTTEN THIS FAR WITHOUT GOING TO PRISON!!! DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE RATES OF ASSAULT

[Bison beating prison creep with a dipper] "I know I'm cute, but I can't be messed with!" [cut to Bison and Fadel sweeping] "They'll leave you alone from now on, I take it?" Well, that's what happens when you attack a hitman

"You want me to put you in jail?" "Yes, Cap. We want to go to jail." Well, I guess asking nicely is better than committing a crime

Wait wait wait. Are they asking Cap to make them prison guards. Still stupid and horrible, but better?

Update from 2 minutes later: Not guards. Vocational trainers! That's much less insane. Kant's smarter than I give him credit for!

Awwwww, will Fadel and Bison get to experience a normal education through prison? That's actually very sweet

Will no one notice these guys flirting with their instructors LOL

"I thought you'd do something illegal just to get in here." Me too, Fadel!!!

From a logical perspective, Kant and Style should be fired immediately. Fom a romance perspective, kiss away, fellas!

The way Fadel is smiling through his kisses, hee hee

I'll glad we're passing through the years quickly. We're on year 3

Awwwww Fadel making Bison a cupcake as a birthday present

HAHAHAHA is Bison just discovering 3 years in that they could've been also trying to have sex

[Draws a dick in the sky mural] "Oh, that kind of feeling!" LMAO

"I wouldn't mind if you find someone, you know? It's physical-only, of course. Don't you get your heart involved." That's very selfless of Bison to suggest

HAHAHA I'd say it's nice of Kant to agree to have sex in public, but considering the bowling alley lane sex, they're both exhibitionists

"You don't have to come here to teach, you know." "Don't worry. I'll make time for it. But if I can't, I'll just come visit you instead. Is that okay?" Fadel said: No, my abandonment issues have reactivated

"Where's Fadel been, though?" "He's... going to culinary school abroad," said Style, by which he meant, working in the kitchen in prison, because he's killed a lot of people

"People have their parents' names tattooed all the time. Why can't I have the name of the most important person in my life tattooed?" BABE 🥺🥺🥺🥺 BEST BABY BROTHER

Also, this makes four people with tattoos for Kant, including Kant

"Coming to see me regularly, getting me used to seeing you, making me miss you, and suddenly disappearing. How do you think that made me feel?" Fadel has really come full circle from their confession in the woods. Still needs to work on the trust

"What are you doing? Can you tell me?" "Can you wait a little longer? I want to be certain about it first. I want to make sure I can really do it." Style is so sweet, he knows Fadel anticipates disappointment, so he's setting no expectations

There are so many great things about this reunion. Style's little bum pat, the "oooh" from Kant and Bison when they kiss, the hand placement, him pointing at Fadel over his shoulder, the fact Kant's still driving the car, because the car never mattered

"You said [Heart Burger] was sold to someone." "I bought it back." Style throwing himself into auto work for years so his boyfriend would have his dream waiting for him when he got out 😭😭😭😭THAT'S SO ROMANTICCCCCCC

"Move in with me." "Alright. But only til I'm back on my feet. I don't want to depend so much on you, or Fadel for that matter." Bison has always been so good with his words

SCREAM WHY IS LILLY KIDNAPPING THEIR RELATIVES ON THE SECOND TO LAST PART OF THE LAST EP??????

"You probably don't know, but your son, and your brother, together with my sons, threw me in jail. They probably thought I'd be in there for life. They must have forgotten that money can buy even freedom." HOW DARE YOU, LILLY? LET ME AT THE JUDGE WHO RELEASED YOU. WHY I OUGHTA

This is so mean and sad. I hope someone kills her dead

Well, they've already ended their not killing people streak, considering Fadel just shot that guy in the head. This is such a deranged way to take this episode. What the fuck happened to the happy little burger joint

I feel like Style's dad will no longer approve of this relationship after seeing Fadel force their evil mother to drink poison at gunpoint

ARE WE NOT GOING TO ELABORATE ON WHAT HAPPENED??

Glad Bison gets an Iceland trip, he was missing a grand gesture

I appreciate Kant's numerous mythology facts. Also I guess no one told the people who write this show that E***** is a slur, aieeeee

Impressed that Kant has cell service in the Icelandic Wilderness

"Now that your father knows about my being a former hitman, and a locked up criminal, is he alright with it?" "He sure is. He said I need someone with a past like yours to tie me down." Insane take, please explain

"I thought I'd die alone." "We'll die one day, but we'll die together of old age." Maybe the real heart killer was the simple passage of time

FADEL SAID: DISTRACTED DRIVING IS OKAY WHEN I CAUSE IT!!!

Final thoughts: I really liked this show. You kind have to lower your standards when it comes to relationships, and even sensible writing, because they love transition wildly between scenes with no explanation. (Like, did Lilly die? Did they rule it an accident or an inside job? What hell the happened to Keen, was he also in prison? What of Popcorn and Jimmy, held hostage and married in the same day? Why do Style and Kant BARELY care that their boyfriends have murdered numerous people, including in front of them?) But the actors (and characters) are SOOO endearing and I enjoy the balance of irreverance and dramatics. It charms me BECAUSE it is ridiculous. The music and outfits are also really great. It is not a perfect show, but it is exactly what it needed to be, which is unreasonable, funny, messy, sexy and with tons of heart. What more can I ask for?

[tamsinswriting]

HI CEL :DD I ALSO GOT A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS FOR YOU <33

🕯️ ⇢ On a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? Why is that? 

🥤 ⇢ Recommend an author or fanfic you love!

💌 ⇢ How many unread emails do you have right now?

🍄 ⇢ Share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings :)

🦷 ⇢ Share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on.

🏜️ ⇢ What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

🧩 ⇢ What will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

-- Trauma <3

Hey Trauma!

Thank you for the asks. Here are my responses.

🕯️ ⇢ On a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? Why is that? 

It depends on which edit. I love the final edit when I'm just polishing up what I've written, removing some repetition and fixing punctuation here and there. In this place, I feel like I've written something powerful and beautiful. But, the first edit, when I'm working on my rough draft--I hate that because then I just look at my writing and see how shit it is and it's a major effort to make it into something worthwhile.

🥤 ⇢ Recommend an author or fanfic you love!

Ohh, that's a hard one, fellow Stockshop shipper since we've read all the Stockshop

content. However, since I know you are dipping your toes in the Good Omens fandom, I do have some author and fic recommendations for this fandom. This is just a small sampling of them:

Don't Wake a Sleeping Bear(Dragon) - ZehWulf - Good Omens (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Hereditary Enemies - Chapter 1 - Beckers522 - Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett [Archive of Our Own]

Epistolary - imposterssyndrome - Good Omens (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Are We Meant to Read the Footnotes? - Chapter 1 - RiaTheDreamer - Good Omens (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Artist in Residence - Chapter 1 - Caedmon - Good Omens (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Terminus - Chapter 1 - BraveLight - Good Omens (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Borrowed Words - Chapter 1 - sunrisesinthesuburbs - Good Omens (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

The Scarecrow - Chapter 1 - AppleSeeds - Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett [Archive of Our Own]

Find the Light - Chapter 1 - klikandtuna - Good Omens (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

💌 ⇢ How many unread emails do you have right now?

4763, but most of them are from mailing lists and socials I don't use.

🍄 ⇢ Share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings :)

Ohh, this is a tricky one since I have lots of headcanons, depending on the ship or even the friendship. For Stockshop, I have the following:

Baxter and Bishop have both implanted trackers in each other without the others' knowledge or consent. It gives them comfort to know where the other is. Also, if one is injured or captured, the other will go beserk to save them and Heaven help anyone who harmed their partner.

🦷 ⇢ Share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on.

Hehehe. I'm not sure whether this is meant to be practical or philosophical, so here is one of each. For practical, use cable ties (I think Americans call them Zip-ties) to fix things. Those bendy little plastic things are great for holding things together when glue doesn't work.

For philosophical: Treat people with respect and kindness, because what you do helps to make the world around you a better place to live. I know it's cliche, but it's something I try to do each day.

🏜️ ⇢ What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

I love comments that show that the reader was really paying attention and has picked up on all the subtle hints and clues I've included. That being said, all comments are greatly appreciated!

🧩 ⇢ What will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Probably these tagI s: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat; Sugar Daddy; Character Bashing.

[lqfiles]

Heyoo!!

Gimme some advice? Im gonna start college in a few months and ive pretty much been a loner since covid AND I WANNA CHANGE THAT. Ive fucked up a handful of friendships and im not gonna do it now!!! Can you gimme some advice on how to make/keep good friendships? OR just tell me how you usually do it uk? Also you should know im very very shy and introverted and quiet.

In my previous friendships, i always meant well for them but it never came off(?) the way i intended it to be. I still care for them very much.

Also the reason im asking you this is because i think you're really cool and you're probably a really good friend🤭

SORRYYY FOR THE BIG MESSAGE AHHH

i didnt realise i was rambling.

Anewayss, ptp really makes me feel all🙈🙈🙈 cause i had a fantasy where i fall in love with my neighbour with the lil romantic things like him sliding a letter down my door, flirting in the elevator, and then us getting married and then making our 2 apartments one😍

Take care of yourself:)) I love you MWAH💋

-🦏

omo this is a very relatable question but i love giving advice so i’ll do my best!!!

i’ll have u know that i used to be kinda introverted too, especially when i started college, i was honestly scared of making friends (idek how i did it) but i think it honestly has to do with how you present yourself.

i know you said that you’re introverted but first impressions are honestly REALLY important. if you come off as closed off and unapproachable, people will treat you like it. it’s definitely easier said than done, but try to come off as approachable and welcoming as you can? not overbearing e.g. smiling too much that it becomes weird, but idk just seem like you’re WILLING to make new friends.

on that note, i’d also advice to look for people you think you’d get along with. you’re going to a new college, majority of the people there will be in search of new friend groups anyways. you could look for people in your class and see which ones you think you’d get along with and approach them with small talk (i’d say find something to compliment them about, that’s how i got approached on the second day, me and that friend are still friends till now lol) (the way he approached me was like “i think you and me would be great friends” AND I WAS SOLD, YOU SHOULD TRY THIS). try making friends in your class especially!!

friendships last longer when you show your appreciation for them! figure out what your love language is. if you’re a touchy person, you could initiate hugs and be more affectionate. but since you’re shy i’d say you could use words of affirmations more e.g letting them know how much you like spending time with them and how they’re a great friend. or even quality time and suggest hanging out more or message them regularly. i’d also say figure out what your friend’s love language is and take that into consideration.

honestly, being shy should never be an issue when it comes to friendships. good friendship are able to work around those qualities of yours and still make it work. despite me advising to be more confident, don’t think that being shy is bad!!!! i honestly believe that you will find people who will truly appreciate you :) i feel flattered that you think i’m cool and would be a good friend :D i tbink what makes ppl get along w me is my so called unique character lmaooo i’ve been called that a lot, i’m sure your unique character can get people to like you too :)

ANYWAYSSS I WILL SOOO USE THAT IN THE PLOT OMFGGG YESSS

take care and i hope i made sense lmaooo

[just-sg]

I mean, it can be but not necessarily? Like every kind of emotion, what qualifies as "platonic" and what qualifies as "love" are both subjective.

It's like how in your asexual example, the person is engaging in sex but is still asexual because they don't subjectively experience that attraction. Or like how friends with benefits could look exactly like a typical "romantic couple", or a romantic couple can look exactly like what most people would think of as "just friends", but whether or not it's romantic entirely depends on if the people involved feel like it is. Except also, sex is an objectively definable physical act, while, for example, kissing doesn't have to be romantic. Similarly, what an observer would call "friendly behavior" doesn't have to indicate internal platonic love.

Some people aren't comfortable describing feelings toward an acquaintance as "platonic love" because they feel like love is too strong a word. Some people associate "platonic" with "friendship" and define "friends" as people they actually know and are close to, and wouldn't describe their feelings for acquaintances or strangers as platonic as a result. Just as a few examples.

How would you describe the love felt for a kitten in a video you'll never meet, or a favorite story, or the feeling you get when the stars align and for just a while the world seems beautiful and hopeful? Is that still "if it's not romantic or sexual [or familial], it's platonic"? Or if you'd say that only applies to love for other people, what about fictional characters, artists one knows nothing about beyond their work, or for the bittersweet echoes of memories conveyed in the memoirs of someone long dead? Surely none of them could be called A Friend, but the love one might feel is still real.

Love can be ambiguous (and usually or always is for some folks!). Love can be unconditional. There are feelings that could be argued as types of love or as adjacent to it: admiration, appreciation, compassion for strangers, devotion that comes from duty rather than personal ties but still anchors on a person. Love can also be vicious and destructive and terrifying-- a consuming need for retribution, "I just want what's best for you", and more-- but that's a whole different ramble. The point is, trying to classify emotions into such a small number of limited boxes doesn't do anyone any favors.

Labels-- language in general-- exists to convey our ideas, not to limit them. And at the same time, our ability to convey things is inherently limited, because sometimes we can't find or simply don't have words to describe things sufficiently. Words do have meanings, and it's entirely fair to suggest to someone that what they're saying would fit a certain label, but if they say that's not it, please trust that they probably know they're feelings better than you do. Occasionally, they might not, but that's not something to assume, and even those cases are nicer if they come to that conclusion later themselves rather than have a conclusion pushed onto them.

Just let people feel what they feel. If they can't put it into words, there's a big difference between offering options and trying to decide their feelings for them.

---

Anyway OP, personally I would describe the Secret Fourth Thing as appreciation for both the content and the people who took the time to share it indirectly with you, but of course it's up to you if that sounds accurate or not. (Also I recognize the format was at least partly a joke but ya know.)

not romantic love not sexual love not platonic love but a secret fourth kind: i scroll your blog and like all of your posts