#fandom grief

[gofancyninjaworld]

ONE be like, I can do heartfelt but not cool, so we got this:

PLEASE MURATA-SENSEI GIVE IT TO US

[galacticghoste]

Angel of Grief

What inspired this image\/\/\/

[idolomantises]

In one of Drew Gooden's recent videos, he talks about the time he saw a tweet calling Zoey 101 a bad show, got angry, and then immediately logged off and sat with his thoughts and realized how his reaction was both time wasting and pretty irrational.

I feel like more people in fandoms need to do this.

[windfalling]

1.02 // 1.06 // 1.08 The Stranger vs. Sol on recognizing and differentiating Osha and Mae

[the-qalankhais-sweetheart]

I'm not a Potterhead, but I've got to admit, this is a relatable feeling as a Browncoat.

I don't mean to hijack this at all, but finding out Joss Whedon was a toxic, misogynistic gaslighter and abuser who cheated on his wife AND abused his writers and actors, especially the women, all while pretending to be such a champion of women's rights was heartbreaking.

Firefly used to be my comfort show. I discovered first its movie, Serenity, and then the series itself during my late grandparents' battle with dementia, and I threw myself into the fandom. It spoke to me - my family was hard up, trying to help care for my grandparents even while they were in a nursing home (we had no choice but to keep them in one, as they would lose Medicaid unless we did so and we couldn't afford their medical care and they couldn't afford their own care, either), and hard knock after hard knock smacked us in the face. I practically saw no future for myself, as I was depressed, poor, and undiagnosed autistic and ADHD and was feeling the strain of executive dysfunction big time. I felt like Capt. Mal, like Zoe, like Kaylee. I felt "weird", like I could barely hold it together, like River.

It was one of my places of solace, and when I began to come out of the fog of depression and the bullshit right-wing spaces I also wound up being sucked into (thanks to religious abuse and, again, being young, disaffected, and poor), it still was a source of comfort and fondness for me. I had come out the other side, with career goals, better driving skills, a job, and at the time, a boyfriend. I was beginning to become more of a feminist, and all us fans had been hoodwinked into thinking Whedon was this wonderful feminist and ally.

And then the news came out about Joss Whedon's cruelty and toxicity.

I haven't known how to feel about Firefly or about being a Browncoat ever since. I had received gifts from my ex's friends that were Firefly or Firefly-themed - "do I still keep them?" I wondered. "If I buy Firefly things second-hand, the money doesn't go to Whedon, does it?"

And then I began to see the hints, the flags we missed in Firefly upon rewatching.

Why did River need to be naked in the box when she was first revealed to be hidden in Simon's cargo box?

Why was Mal written to be so free with calling Inara a "whore" while still being attracted to her, then getting pissed when someone else also disrespected her as a "whore"? Hell, why did Inara need to disrespectfully refer to the independent Companions who weren't Guild members as "whores"?

Why was Kaylee written to be almost a bit hypersexual while still very "cute" and "girly" while still being a badass mechanic?

To be fair, some of these things (like Kaylee as a character and some of that inner conflict with Inara and Mal) can make for interesting character depth and discussion. But it was quite clear, in my opinion, that these things point to the sexually objectifying mindset of Whedon when taken into context with his toxicity in mind.

I say all of this to conclude, it's extremely heartbreaking when it turns out the creator of such a huge fandom staple is a dangerous, colossal douche canoe. I worry "if I say I like Firefly, will people think I condone Whedon?" "Can I even get any merch anymore without supporting him?" And while it's certainly possible to consume problematic content in a healthy manner with a critical, aware eye, it's really damn hard now to watch Firefly knowing about Whedon's bullshit.

And it was a huge, huge thing, the fans who "Did the Impossible", the Browncoats who helped bring Firefly back to life in one way or another. It was like another Star Trek, another sci-fi show risen from the ashes.

There are still fans, and it's still a thing, just like HP. But damn, how does one even interact with this anymore? How does one go on? How does one look back at the memories?

It's heartbreaking. It's discouraging. I still consider myself a Browncoat, but it's not the same, and it's left a similar hole in my heart to that which a lot of non-TERFy Potterheads now carry.

This is hard enough. I can't imagine having been or being a trans or Jewish Potterhead only to see JKR descend further into the bullshit.

What makes JKR's shitshow even harder to process is that she didn't just ruin a book series. Harry Potter was an entire subculture. Like Star Wars and Star Trek fans, Harry Potter fans dedicated their lives and careers to the series. I don't know if I'd call it "underground," but liking Harry Potter got you beaten up when I was in school, so it was more of a dedicated indie culture than a mass-appeal fanbase.

Harry Potter was so huge that fan works developed their own followings. Potter Puppet Pals racked up hundreds of thousands of followers and was nearly as relevant as the series itself. For fanfiction, Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality got so big that it has a Wikipedia page. The band Harry and the Potters spawned the wizard rock music genre. A Very Potter Musical developed a fanbase and launched Darren Criss's career.

Harry Potter also has extensive ties to fandom history. Everyone in my generation (millennials) remembers coming home from school to read Harry Potter fanfiction on the Internet. Today, most people just post their stories on Wattpad or Archive of Our Own. But at the time, the fanbase was splintered between fanfiction.net and dozens of individual websites and forums, some made for specific ships. Since they all had individual hosts, a lot of those sites have been lost to time.

And there's the infamous My Immortal fanfiction, which is an Internet legend with people still searching for the author. Everybody read that one (and laughed at it) in middle school.

Pre-social media, fan sites like The Leaky Cauldron and Mugglenet had massive followings because they were one of few sources for news, theories, essays and fan content. Some of these sites still exist after being around for over a decade and building their own legacy.

Before Deathly Hallows came out, fans were so desperate to know what happened that Mugglenet published a book called What Will Happen in Harry Potter 7: Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Falls in Love and How Will the Adventure Finally End? Yep...Harry Potter was so big that people wrote separate books about what would happen in an upcoming book.

And that's not mentioning all the book release parties, Harry Potter-themed events, monuments, fan films, restaurants and even a theme park. A lot of fandoms have those, but Harry Potter infiltrated every aspect of popular culture.

Today, there's a thriving culture of "Harry Potter adults" with themed weddings, baby showers and Etsy stores. Putting your Hogwarts house in your Instagram bio is pretty much a prerequisite for joining the "bookish" community. Warner still produces new content, like the Fantastic Beasts series, although we've all seen what a disaster that's been.

Everyone has at least a few memories associated with Harry Potter even if it's just watching the movies. I had great memories associated with Harry Potter. But looking back at the subculture, history and thousands of fan works, it doesn't seem fun anymore. Studying the fandom or being part of it comes with an awkward tension because you don't want to seem like you're condoning JKR's bigotry but can't divorce her from the series. This subculture was spawned by a woman who turned her legacy of magic and wonder into one of abuse and hatred.

I don't expect people to write paragraphs about how much they hate JKR every time they post about Harry Potter, but it's still uncomfortable to see people make new content or wear their Harry Potter Etsy tote bags like nothing happened. Even if they clarify that they don't support her, it's just a weird, tense situation for everybody.

People dedicated years of their lives to running Harry Potter fan sites, writing fanfiction, cosplaying characters and making fan movies. If I were in that situation, I'd have a mild identity crisis. I'd ask myself "Did I waste all those years? Should I delete my content? Where do I go from here?"

So ultimately, JKR didn't ruin "just" a book series or even "just" a fandom. She tanked an entire culture, which inspired people to look at Harry Potter more critically. The issues that people brought to the light tainted the series's legacy even without JKR's personal issues.

Once, Harry Potter was a series for generations. Now, former fans hope that the series fades into irrelevancy. Unfortunately, JKR didn't just tarnish her legacy--she took decades of history, millions of fans and a worldwide subculture along with her.

[shorthaltsjester]

when people think delilah just completely takes over and laudna has no control. when people think jester is just an uwu child who has been manipulated by every man she’s met. when people think vex is an empty husk of daddy issues without her brother by her side. when people think fjord is an arrogant asshole who doesn’t pay attention to the party around him. when people think scanlan saying that vox machina doesn’t care about him is an accurate assessment.

[petricorah]

scenes i loved from Real Enough to Get Me Through by @marriedzukka <333 [ids in alt]

[my-name-is-katelynn]

How FUCKING DARE YOU MAKE ME HURT LIKE THIS (i love this and you)

[orchestralelement]

Just spent some time scrolling through Mizumono posts and was surprised to find no mention of the "grief lobster" anywhere. I'm referring, of course, to the epic Last Supper tablescape, which is—even by ordinary Hannibal Lecter standards—pretty fucking extra.

Motherfucker was so beside himself with grief and angst that he put a goddamn lobster ... inside a fucking cantaloupe.

So, here you go, Tumblr: The inaugural use of the #grieflobster tag on this platform (a tag I did not invent, but it's one of my favorite byproducts of the Hannibal fandom).

[embracing-the-ineffable]

Beware clickbait accusations

Hi fandom, here's what happened yesterday: A reporter named Rachel Johnson, who is the sister to Boris Johnson and a big terfy supporter of JK Rowling, released a 4-part true crime podcast featuring two women accusing Neil Gaiman of SA. Yesterday. The day before the UK elections. This post explores the possible political links in more detail.

CW: this post is free of graphic details, but if you follow these links, there may be explicit descriptions of sex, kink, and bdsm, plus mentions of mental illness and suicidal thoughts.

I want to believe and support survivors, and I also want to base my thoughts and actions on facts. I thought the xitter livestream commentary from Not Becky for all 4 episodes was very insightful. There's also a first episode transcript without extra commentary. (Edit: released after I wrote this post: the full audio plus transcripts for all four episodes of the podcast are now available to download here, or you can read all four transcripts in your browser.) I have since concluded (pending more time to think and read and learn, or any new information, of course):

This seems like the worst kind of clickbait, an unjustified mess that will hurt everyone involved (except possibly a few politicians who might benefit somehow, we'll see). The evidence the "reporters" present directly contradicts their accusations. They're counting on people reading headlines and not digging any deeper.

They tried to make something sinister where there was apparently consent and a caring relationship. Have they exploited one or both of these women? S, in particular, is described as vulnerable and with a history of unspecified mental illness. They have all of the message history between S and Neil, and her messages make the sexy stuff between the two of them sound enthusiastically consensual. There are even messages (multiple!) where she specifically says everything was consensual. Here's one:

They're playing horror music in the background to try to make us feel horrified, even as S reassures us that things were consensual. It's emotional manipulation by the reporters.

The times S sounds upset during the interview are the times she talks about Neil leaving her behind or not paying attention to her. Not the times she talks about consent violations. Her stories during the interview are inconsistent, and they contradict her messages with Neil and with others. Maybe we'll get better information from a more reputable news source, or maybe not, I don't know. I also don't know why anyone who cares about her would have advised her to do this interview.

Then they tracked down lots of other women who know/have dated Neil and they all had glowing things to say, except one other lover from 20 years ago, K. She described some bad sex, and then pointed to a time in their 2-year relationship when she felt something wasn't consensual and he thought it was. And after their breakup, they continued to text and flirt, for decades.

This podcast "exposé" feels like explosive clickbait with political ramifications. The evidence here doesn't support a pattern of poor conduct so much as establish Neil as a fellow well-meaning human with imperfect judgement. That doesn't mean the accusations are all made up; intimate partner violence is complicated, and the responsibility for checking in and getting regular enthusiastic consent from partners is very real, especially when kink or bdsm are involved.

I don't know what the right balance is here between supporting survivors, thinking critically, assuming good intentions, and waiting for better information, but I feel confident that this podcast alone is not enough to condemn anyone aside from the irresponsible journalists who inflicted it on the rest of us.

PS/edit: I'm tagging my relevant posts (mostly reblogs) with #ineffable grief, and you can see all of them here.

[untitledgoosegay]

re last reblog I do see fanfic culture pushing/replicating a certain model of "what trauma looks like," "how trauma works"

this is a problem across all areas of society obviously, but transformative works are, well, transformative. they're about crafting and modifying narratives where the fan-creator sees a flaw or a lack -- often for the better! don't get me wrong, I've done my fair share of "I take a hammer and I fix the canon," it's the main thing that gets my creative gears spinning -- but what happens when that "flaw" is simply a narrative not conforming to popular expectations?

some people just don't get PTSD from events that sound obviously traumatic. they're not masking, and they're not coping; they just straight-up didn't get the permanently-locked stress-response that defines PTSD. they walk away from a horrible experience going "well, that sucked, but it's over now." some people do get PTSD from events most people wouldn't find traumatic. we don't really know why some people get PTSD and others don't. but fandom has an idea of events that must be traumatizing, of a "correct" way to portray trauma. you see the problems with this lack of understanding in e.g. fans pressuring the devs of Baldur's Gate 3 to add dialogue where the player character badgers Halsin about his own feelings on his abuse -- because he must be traumatized, and his trauma must fit a certain mold and presentation of sexual trauma, under the mistaken impression that anything outside that narrow window is somehow "wrong" and disrespectful or even harmful to survivors.

take, for another example, the very common trope of a traumatized character who hates touch or sex "learning" to like touch or sex as a part of their healing process. certainly that can be healing for some people; other people will never like, or want, touch or sex, because of trauma or because they just don't. the assumption that someone who doesn't want sex or doesn't like to be touched must be traumatized, must be suffering from this perceived lack, is seriously harmful -- to asexual people, to people with sensory issues around touch, and to people for whom healing from trauma means freedom to refuse sex or touch.

and there's a secondary trope, one that's slightly more thoughtful but ultimately repeats the problem -- that once someone has learned that their boundaries will be respected, they'll feel it's safe to soften those boundaries. once they feel safe refusing touch or sex, they'll feel comfortable allowing it on their own terms. but many people don't, and many people won't! many people will simply never want to be touched, and never want sex, and they are not suffering or broken or lacking because of it. the idea that proving you'll respect someone's boundaries entitles you to test those boundaries -- the paradox is obvious, and yet this is something i've seen hurt (re-traumatize) people i care for.

people are imperfect victims. people don't heal in the ways you expect. many people have positive memories of their abuse, of their abusers. many people hurt others in the course of their trauma, in ways that can't easily be unpacked in a 5k oneshot. very few narratives of trauma and recovery actually fit the ones put forward by popular children's media and romance novels -- which are the ones I most see replicated in fandom spaces, because they provide the clearest narrative and easiest catharsis, and so they're easy and soothing to reach for.

that's not necessarily a bad thing! i am not immune to goopy romance tropes. i am not immune to teary catharsis. not every fic has to grapple with ugly realities. but there's a problem when these narratives become predominant, when people think they're accurate and realistic depictions of trauma, when the truth of trauma is unpleasant and uncomfortable, and doesn't fit any single narrative, let alone one of comforting catharsis

[clocks-divorcing-ticks]

Whatever you think of the timing of this little sidebar story, Aabria as a DM has done so much work in so comparatively little time to really establish the panic and the fear of the gods in response to Predathos. To put in front of the viewer with clarity exactly what they are prepared to do and who they are willing to align themselves with to save their own skin.

Aabria gets people and motive and societies and what makes them tick in a way that is so uniquely poignant. And hers is such an immeasurably valuable contribution to this story.

[casually-eat-my-soul]

This — this gif is literally sterek. You can’t convince me otherwise. This is how Derek grabs and touches stiles. So no one, for even a second think that stiles isn’t his.

Someone is talking to stiles this is how Derek pulls/drags him to rest on his body. He doesn’t move the hand but just stares the other person down.

Stiles loves it, he absolutely loves being manhandled by Derek.

[kogglyuffs]

campe diem!! 🫡

[mirensiart]

I never talk about my personal life online cause like, I like keeping both things separated and cause I don't want to bore my followers with my life but I feel like I need to talk about this but only because I want to thank everyone here

So, deep from the bottom of my heart: thank you all so much

This year has been awful to my family, we lost our aunt in May and in September we lost my grandma

Not only that, but my mom has gone through 2 knee surgeries since August and she's still healing but can't do anything on her own, she's 100% dependent on a caretaker

And that caretaker is me lmao it's why my job let me do home office, so I could stay with her. I'm the oldest of 3 and like eldest daughter syndrome has been kicking my ass cause my mom requested I help her personally

Anyway, my social life has been basically nonexistent since August since my mom does not want to be alone and needs assistance all the time

Which is why I've been drawing so much, like non stop as a way to cope, and it does help a lot!

So when I started drawing for the linked universe au and seeing such a warm and nice reception from everyone, it was so healing to me! Like it's been helping me go through everything so much, seeing everyone engaging with my stuff and replying and asking me questions

It's just so so so great, it makes all these awful months feel so far away

So again thank you all, from the bottom of my heart! Like you guys are seriously the best 🥹❤️ you don't know how much I appreciate you all

[shellshooked]

when death takes my hand

i will hold you with the other,

and promise to find you

in every lifetime.