#missing my friends

[greyaugustuspoetry]

You were everything.

Your smile lit up the sky

And your laugh brightened the moon

You hung the stars in my sky for a point in time

But now you’re nothing.

Gone to the abyss we call death

This place is dark without you

I can’t even see the floor.

Come back,

please.

I can’t do this

Not anymore.

-Grey Augustus

[celestial-jellybean]

had to bring back the crying sam pfp for the first time in years yk its serious

[nablah]

shabbat evening in south east asia, summer (singapore <--> manila)

[warcats-cat]

Open Invitation (Sanders Sides Vent Fic)

A/N I’m having a low mood night; doing a little better after spending some time online with my cousin, but I wrote a little vent fic and I’m trying something new. To anyone who reads this: if you like it, and you want to cheer Patton up or write a follow up from one of the other’s perspectives, you are invited to do so! I know I have some writer friendos in my circle, but I’d love to interact a little more with the community, so, this fic is an Open Invitation. (Yes, I realize it’s kinda like roleplay, but I’m kinda fine with that. I’ll be cross-posting this on Ao3 as well, so you can either reblog your response or post to Ao3 and do the remix / inspired by thing. 

No pressure, obv. Just thought it might be cool to try out. I had a lot of fun with one I did with @dillydallydove @thecrowslullaby and @brainlicking last year, so I’m curious to see if anyone joins me for this one. Love you all <3

As always, let me know if I am missing any tags and thank you for reading my humble writing. 

Read on Ao3 Here

----

“What are you doing?”

Patton startled; almost knocking his head on the wooden railing he was leaning against. Roman had been feeling whimsical this morning, and had redone a few areas of the mindscape house to match his surge of ideas. Among those changes was a widening of their second floor where the bedroom hallway was; he added a whole extra little sitting area, with a couch and a little table, and a railing which allowed one to plainly see the living room and part of the kitchen below. Patton had been sitting against the railing for a while now, hugging his knees and watching as the other sides had winding and overlapping conversations.

Now, on his opposite side, there was a bright pink teddy bear watching him. An Imaginary Friend that must have wandered out of his closet where he kept Thomas’s oldest (and dearest) childhood memories. Candy, her name had been. He hadn’t known any of those memories could still wake up.

He sighed, looking away from her and back to the living room. “Go back to sleep, Candy,” he said.

He felt a velvety little paw on his elbow, just about as high as she could reach. “What are you doing?” she asked again, insistent.

He sighed again, and let himself uncurl from hugging his knees to sitting cross-legged, looking at her. Without prompting, and without asking, the soft little bear climbed into his lap. “Just watching,” he replied vaguely. “I think they’re talking about the Barbie movie right now. Roman is really excited for it.”

“Barbie’s getting a new movie?” she asked, her black button eyes turning into glittery purple with excitement. Patton couldn’t help a little smile on his face; she was one of the more simple Imaginary Friends, but the young creativities had still put a lot into her. And she was still so full of wonder with the world. Something he had been missing for a while.

Before he could answer her, she leaned over to look through the railing at the other sides, and asked, “Why are you up here, then? Don’t you wanna see Barbie?”

His shoulders felt a little heavier, then, and he went back to leaning his head on the railing. “Yeah, I do. I’m really excited for it, actually.” He said softly. After a few minutes of his silence, she poked him in the stomach insistently with her paw. Her head tilted, waiting for the answer to her first question.

Patton shrugged. “They don’t really need me down there. They’re having fun talking about the commercials for the movie and how Thomas is going to take his new boyfriend to go see it together. They’re fine if I’m not with them.”

“But why? Aren’t they your friends?” she pressed, and Patton could feel himself growing a little colder, a little heavier. He shrugged again.

“Of course I’m their friend, but – “

“Aren’t they your friends?” She asked again, nudging him a few more times with her paw. He set his jaw, looking away from her.

“I don’t think it’s that simple anymore.” He said softly. “I’m their friend. I want to be there for them and spend time with them and talk with them. But they don’t really need me as a friend. I don’t even think they really want me as their friend…” He felt the bear settle in his lap, providing a surprisingly grounding weight that was almost comforting. Like something Virgil would have, maybe; a weighted teddy bear for when his weighted blanket was a little too much. Patton wondered if Roman or Remus might be able to make him one someday. Maybe even a plushie spider...

“They don’t really care if I have something to say or not. I can try to speak up for myself, or even just try to spend time together for breakfast or lunch or a movie, but they act like I’m not there. Especially the last few months – after the last video I just became a bully who didn’t deserve to apologize or make it up to them. I keep trying to speak up and do anything but I’m starting to think it isn’t worth it. It just hurts to feel like I’m not wanted in the room. But I’m afraid to leave completely. I’m afraid because I don’t think they would notice, or if they did, that they really would be happier. I’m scared…” he whispered the last sentence, his eyes blurring. He sniffled a few times before realizing Candy hadn’t responded in a while.

He looked down into his lap to see her, flopped over and lifeless. He could feel that she had gone back to sleep; gone dormant again like she had been for so many years. She probably hadn’t had enough energy to be awake very long anyway, after being away from the twins for so many years. His chest felt heavy.

Carefully, Patton stood, stretching his legs when they began to tingle from being crossed and unmoving so long. He gently lifted the little bear into his arms and carried her back to his room, laying her on his bed. Even if she was back to being dormant, she was still a comfort to see again. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked out into the hall; the others would probably go to bed soon, or at least come back to their rooms. He’d always left his door open a crack so he could hear them, so they would know they could come to him if needed.

No one had stopped by in a while.

He swallowed past the lump in his throat, trying to steel his resolve. They really didn’t need him. They probably wouldn’t notice anyway.

He padded to the door and slowly closed it, not making a sound, and pulled it firmly shut.

[winterfrostlovetriangle]

I am trying not to focus on my own problems right now, there are so many other issues in the world, but today I'm struggling. My father is being treated wrongly and the rest of the family has been collateral damage because we are his family. Our friends believe the lies and have abandoned us. I miss my friends and my nieces and nephews (non blood).

[itadorey]

gn tumblr

[runningwithinvisiblespectres]

Instead of sleeping, like I shouldbe doing, I am just writing some postcards to all my besties because I miss them.

[onekisstotakewithme]

having online friends who are busy is just like. I LOVE YOU. I miss you. YOU GOT THIS. I'm giving you space to work. I LOVE YOU.

[xamitras]

For many of years I had this tradition of drawing Wirt and the beast once a year to see how much I have improved, then depression hit in 2023 and couldn't continue, but it left so really amazing art in the process

[mostpeculiarmademoiselleetmsieur]

I'm really missing some of my rp partners from years ago right now. They were people I really, truly loved as my friends, and now I have no connection to them aside from memories.

It's just sad to think how easily people can disappear from our lives sometimes. Especially when the friendships we form are based in online interactions.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead

[sennamaticart]

Dress Code

[firestia]

Little pony princesses 💗

[mulberrydoubt]

the concept of having friends amazes me like genuinely bc what do you mean I found these people?? and they tolerate me??? and they like being around me enough that they’ve stuck with me for this long?? and they want to continue sticking with me so much that they’ve planned a future where we’re always together???

[pearl-blue-musings]

I’m sorry I haven’t been super active on here…I feel like I have no control of my life so days pass by and it’s just 🤷🏾‍♀️

[vextech]

i love that i read SO many jayvik fics about the divorce beginning with jayce being horrified at what viktor had done with the hexcore, only for it to turn out that jayce actually did not give a SINGLE fuck, didn't even flinch at the sight of his hand and leg, and was ecstatic when it ended up saving his life. i am absolutely obsessed