#joker is great when hes utilized in an interesting way

[tumblingxelian]

Tyrian Callows - The Master of Murder, Mayhem & Multitasking!

So, I recently saw a post discussing Tyrian Callows and I wanted to go into why I find him quite interesting despite his overall demeanor seeming to be that of a nihilistic serial killer.

Off the cuff, when I first saw Tyrian I hated him, "Oh good, another cackling serial killer, I hope e only exists to die & be replaced".

Then he ambushes RNJR & suddenly, oh suddenly I'm having fun!

Because he's not just cackling & killing, he's bombastic, spewing purple prose and strutting around like he's on a stage, then flinging himself through walls for dramatic poses. He waits after receiving major surprise attacks to reveal they didn't hurt him.

He is in essence, a theater kid who happens to also be a cultist and serial killer and I think that is incredibly entertaining if nothing else.

Beyond that I find his fawning behavior on Salem intriguing. Like, even beyond his failure, when Salem is growing in fury & others like Watts & Hazel know to get the fuck out. He starts irrationally offering her acts of service in a bid to make her happy before fleeing as well.

Like, whatever is going on there is interesting if nothing else, I think.

Then there's the fact he is far more insightful than characters like him are usually written as but, its not at the expense of is manic disposition as it often ends up being with say, Joker, bleh.

What I mean is, Tyrian is very good at analyzing people, what they want, what they feel, what will hurt them the most, what above all drives them & can articulate it very easily. Ala his confrontation with Mercury only knowing violence & being too afraid to leave it.

Yet at the same time when out under pressure by Clover, Qrow & Robyn he very quickly starts losing his cool, his mannerism and behaviors become more unhinged & wild, he is legitimately not all there. & it is isn't until he's had time to cool off in the airship that he's back on his game.

Finally there is his 'rivalry' qith Qrow.

To me the fun thing is that there is zero rivalry on Tyrian's end.

Qrow is just someone who he met in V4 and knew to be a capable fighter & important enemy agent. He was excited to fight & kill him & was briefly knocked off his game when disarming Qrow did nothing to slow him down.

Most Hunters based their fighting styles on their weapons so disarming them tends to be a winning move unless they are Hazel, Tyrian or Yang style combatants.

But he was back on his game in short order and still having a great time and even managed to essentially score the win... Right until Ruby dismembered him & he did not take it gracefully.

To say the least, Tyrian is definitely arrogant, I think that much is self evident.

It makes sense, it took a cooperative operation of Mitral Hunters & Atlesian Specialists to take him down. The Queen of Grimm came to collect him herself. His Semblance lets him take Aura out of a fight. & by all accounts he definitely seems to be among the most dangerous combatants on Remnant even without said Semblance.

So yeah, not surprised that he was both knocked off his game & angry about the injuries but after that he doesn't seem to dwell on them much the way Cinder spent several volumes seething over the damage Ruby did to her.

His little foreshadowing moment to Ruby before the election massacre & enjoying Qrow's suffering during Volume 7 very much seem like things he'd have done regardless cos he's just like that.

Tyrian will however exploit the idea of a rivalry to his advantage.

What I mean is, Qrow makes it clear when ambushing him with Clover & Robyn that he holds a grudge over their last fight. Tyrian doesn't utilize that in the three on one beatdown he gets, he's barely keeping his head above water most of that fight.

But once he is back in the game he's cheerfully egging on the break down in the Atlas and Mantle alliance. He's completely ignoring Qrow until the man jumps on him & even then doesn't offer him any unique attention.

Its only once he's established that things with Qrow and Clover have degraded as far as they have that he jumps in. He avoids starting off too violently to see how things go & is well pleased by Clover's dogged commitment to his orders.

Also likely dismissing Tyrian as just a violent lunatic.

It is then and only then that he leans on the idea that he actually wants a rematch with Qrow. But even then he still patiently waits for Qrow to float the idea first. He is playing into Qrow's grudge & Qrow's belief in a Shounen style rivalry & with it the belief that Tyrian will ignore Clover themoment he is not interrupting the fight and duke it out with Qrow.

But Tyrian only plays along with that and instead uses Clover's defeat to end his fucking life and frame Qrow for it.

He certainly has fun twisting the knife but again, this is stuff he does with everyone when he gets the chance. & it serves to make things more complex for Atlas and the now rebellious heroes than it would if Clover & Qrow had died together. Especially as enemy reinforcements are coming.

After this, again, neither Qrow or Ruby warrant a mention from him.

This is his job, they were parts of his assignments and Tyrian just happens to love what he's doing. Which humorously aligns very well with the life advice he gave Emerald and Mercury. Even if that was just because he thinks it'd be fun to be given the chance to kill them.

Anyway those are my takes on Tyrian Callows, evil as fuck, but smarter & more interesting than the usual portrayals of his archetype!

Thanks for reading!

[the1entirecircus]

The Batfam’s Pokémon Teams

Considering that I’ve already done the Justice League’s Pokémon teams and their enemies’ Pokémon teams, I thought to might as well give the batfam their teams. But since I already did Batman on the Justice League list, he will not be on the list.

---

Alfred Pennyworth

Indeedee (Male)- Alfred is most famously known as Batman's Butler, so giving him a butler pokemon would be both useful and helpful.

Leavanny- His day-to-day duties as the butler of Batman, Alfred is always repairing some type of clothing for the Batfam.

Drampa- It is commonly joked around in the community that Alfred is the one person in the batfam you do no want to mess around with. Drampa are known for their kind nature that comes with a destructive outcome if enraged or needing to protect the children it cares for which reflects Alfred a great deal.

Blissey- Another representative of Alfred's caring side.

Polteagheist- He's british and likes tea.

Inteleon- Alfred has a history in the military and being one of the few batfamily members to actually utilize a gun. Him having an Inteleon seemed like a No-Brainer to me.

Many of Alfred's pokemon were chosen simply because they could be found in Galar, which is the Pokemon equivalent of England. The exception of course being Leavanny, but it is still a fitting pokemon for him to have.

---

Nightwing

Hitmontop- This is a reference to Dick's beginnings as an acrobat in Haley's Circus. I can see this pokemon being one of Dick's first as he was given it when it was still a tyrogue.

Marowak- Both a nod to the fact that Dick is an orphan and how he covered for Batman.

Swellow- Visually speaking, Swellow slightly resembles Nightwing, especially if we're talking about his DCAU adaptation with the Mullet/Long Hair.

Rockruff- Yes, Haley is a shiny Rockruff with one leg.

Cyclizar- This was the last pokemon I had to come up with, and so my brain suddenly reminded me of Motor Cycle Monday from Teen Titans Go. Considering that Nightwing does use a motorcycle sometimes, this makes sense for him.

Greninja- A stealthy pokemon that relates to espionage in some way. Seems fitting for Nightwing during his time with Spyral during the New 52

I wanted to pay homage to everything well-known about Dick Grayson/Nightwing. With the exception of his bubble butt, his team references his time Haley's Circus, the fact he's an orphan and became batman, being Nightwing in General, and others.

---

Oracle/Batgirl

Swoobat- Considering her history of being used as just a love interest and not being regarded as an actual character, Barbara having a Swoobat felt like a decent choice.

Rotom- As Oracle, Barbara can hack and mess with enemy technology like how Rotom can infiltrate different machines.

Gardevoir- The reason I gave Barbara a gardevoir is sort of an edgy reason. Gardevoir's whole thing is that they are fiercely loyal to their trainers and will protect them at all cost. Now, what happened in the Killing Joke still happens in this universe, so that means that Bab's Gardevoir couldn't protect Babs. This would lead her Gardevour to become very depressed but overall determined to help her trainer more.

Mienshao- Barbara knows martial arts

Magnezone- Barbara is one of the most well-known (Idk if she was the first) person in the chair. So, her having a pokemon that can receive signals seems useful.

Venusaur- If you saw my Legion of Doom post, then you can recall that I gave Joker Toxicroak because of his adaptation in The Batman tv series. My choice in giving Babs a Venusaur is based on her relationship with Poison Ivy in that series. Not saying thats exactly the case in my HC universe however.

While some of the choices felt off even for me, overall I'm satisfied with what I did for Batgirl's pokemon team.

---

Red Hood

Old Team

Primeape- Many who think of Jason as Robin remember him as being angry and very impulsive, and while that isn't entirely true, this pokemon does reflect that side of him.

Fletchinder- The evolved form of the robin pokemon to represent Jason's intimidating side.

Snicket- Jason's Post-Crisis reintroduction showed him as a car tire thief of crime alley.

Cubone- A nod to how Jason was initially just a clone of Dick Grayson (in terms of character, not a literal genetic clone) and how it was his desire for his mother's love that got him killed.

Zorua- Although reflective of Jason's older-self, Zorua's tricky nature of disguising itself to hide from others is a good way to show what Jason would end up like.

Snubbul- Another representative of Jason's personality, many see him as a tough guy, but really he's just a sweet guy with attachment issues.

New Team

Annihilape- After the accident, Jason's Primeape would evolve into Annihilape. Annihilape reflects how the lazarus pit drove Jason mad upon his own revival.

Staraptor- An edgy bird pokemon that likes to be alone it does reflect Jason's isolating tendencies whenever he gets into fights with bruce.

Alolan Marowak- Since Batman and Nightwing both have Marowak, Jason holding having his Marowak post-accident is reflective of this. While his "Alolan" Marowak only became this way due to the Lazarus Pit, it still has the reasons for becoming one. Jason also possesses spiritual abilities thanks to his resurrection, and Alolan Marowak reflects that the best.

Hiusian Zoroark- According to the lore, Zoroark came back to life out of spite. While Jason had no choice in the matter, first being resurrected by one of Superboy Prime's reality-altering punches and then having his memories return thanks to the lazarus pit, if Jason could come back to life out of spite, he would.

Doublade- A reference to the All-Blades, Jason's Doublade is a meta-pokemon that has a new move Blight Slash and a new ability called All-Good. Blight Slash is a physical steel-type move that does super effective damage on dark type pokemon. All-Good resists the effects of any dark type move.

Hydreigon- For a while before the New 52, Jason was considered a complete villain against the batfam. Hydreigon's brutish nature is meant to reflect that.

The reason why I gave Jason two teams is because the explosion that killed him would also kill some of his pokemon.

---

Red Robin/Robin/Drake/whatever Tim goes by now

Talonflame- Talonflame is the most visually similar to Tim's uniform as Red Robin (I'm refering to the times he uses the Black and Red costumes of course)

Farfetch'd- A reference to the time he went by the Drake

Vikavolt- Tim is often regarding as the tech wizard Robin out of the five that have taken the title. This is also a reference to how Tim "died" by a bunch of drones firing at him.

Pancham- Given that Tim has many alternate versions of himself that are evil, Pancham reflects that given that it evolves into a dark type that needs the help of another dark type to evolve.

Komala- Tim is often given this headcanon that he is constantly sleep deprived and needs coffee. And while there is no coffee pokemon, there is a pokemon that is constantly tired.

Reuniclus- The time when Tim tried to clone Superboy to bring him back.

I will admit, I struggled with Tim's team. I wanted to give him a pokemon that represented his bisexuality, but none really fit.

---

Spoiler/Batgirl

Clodsire- You're going to look at me and tell me that Spoiler wouldn't own a Clodsire? It has her color scheme and everything (most of her color scheme anyways)

Swoobat- Steph was first introduced as a possible love interest for Tim Drake. She

Talonflame- A reference to her time as Robin.

Pikachu- This feels like a pokemon Steph would have

Espeon- Spoiler's whole gimmick is that she investigates a villain's scheme and then spoils it to the public. Espeon's ability to predict enemy attacks helps reflect this. Also gives her a counterpart to her bff, Cassandra Cain aka Orphan/Batgirl

Goodra- Goodras are silly and affectionate, and Steph is often portrayed so as well.

Most of these pokemon were easy to come up with.

---

Orphan/Batgirl

Banette- Banette is the most visually similar to Cassandra's costume

Noivern- Given that Noivern is the best looking Bat pokemon (fight me), it would be dumb not to give it to the best-looking batfam member

Sneasler- Given her ninja skills, Sneasler feels like a fitting option. And if you feel that isn't a good idea since Sneasler are probably extinct in the pokemon world, how do you know they're not in the shadows?

Umbreon- a representation of both Cassandra's nightly activities as well as her character arc.

Kommo-o- A representation of her time with the league of shadows.

Most of Cassandra's pokemon are reflections of herself like the other pokemon teams.

---

Robin (Damian)

Alolan Meowth- A reference to Alfred the Cat, Alolan Meowth was specifically chosen because of its...demanding nature and how it takes a close bond to make it stronger (or evolve it)

Noivern- A reference to Goliath, Damian's Noivern is a meta-pokemon with red fur and scales along with an extra set of wingless arms. It has the ability "Brutal Beast" which causes moves like Outrage to do 1.5x more damage.

Miltank- A reference to batcow.

Pawniard- Being that he was raised in the league of assassins, Damian would of course own a pokemon connected to

Fletchinder- He's Robin, of course he has a Robin Pokemon.

Lucario- A reference to Titus and how Damian grew close to him.

Damian's pokemon team was pretty simple given that he has his own collection of animals from his adventures of being Robin.

---

Batwoman

Gliscor- While a member of the bat family, Batwoman doesn't tend to follow the rules such as no-killing and no-guns. Yes I know Jason doesn't follow this rule either but still.

Bisharp- Given her military background, a Bisharp would reflect this. It would also hold an Eviolite.

Sawk- Batwoman has lots of martial artist training

I gave Kate a smaller team as she would rely on her guns more often. Also because I struggled to come up with anything else.

---

Catwoman

Meowscarada- While she is no magician, Catwoman is however quite elusive. Her having a Meowscarada as both her partner and starter pokemon felt fitting.

Persian- Selina Kyle in some continuities is the daughter of Carmine Falcone "The Roman". Persian is often seen by the side of the evil Giovanni, so the addition of this pokemon to Catwoman's roster felt fitting.

Sableye- Sableye reflects Catwoman's constant thievery of jewelry and such.

Lopunny- one of Catwoman's abilities is her athletic skill and she is often sexualized, so Lopunny is fitting for her.

Initially, I was going to give Selina a bunch of cat pokemon but then I felt that was too simple. She is more than just a Cat burglar after all.

---

The Signal

Midday Form Lycanroc- This pokemon was chosen because it prowls during the day just like Duke does.

Kilowattrel- Matches his color scheme

Gallade- One of Signal's power's is to see a little bit into the future by refracting light.

Same problem I had with Batwoman, couldn't come up with much.

---

Batman (Terry McGinnis)

Crobat- This one is obvious, but its because he's da Batman! (Or in this universe, he's Zubatman)

Toxtricity- This is why

Scrafty- Because of Terry's messy life, he picked pokemon that sort of reflect that attitude.

Gothamite Revavroom- In Neo Gotham City, a new species of Revavroom started to appear because of all the advanced technology. Now Steel/Electric, Neo Gotham City Revavroom races through the place as it hunts prey. It has the ability Surge Surfer to help boosts its already high speed so that foes can never gain the advantage. This choice was of course because of the flying batmobile Terry has.

Marowak- Terry lost his dad in the first episode.

Incineroar- Terry has to fight through a level of imposter syndrome in Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker. Incineroar reflects this through not being a fighting type but also having fighting type elements.

---

Up Next:

Titans' Pokemon Teams

Previously:

Justice League Pokemon Teams

Legion of Doom Pokemon Teams

[silverwolf1249]

recently read an incomplete fic with injustice! Superman and arkham city! Batman after the joker venom got to him and that's definitely two people I never even thought of interacting with each other, and now lives in my head rent free. Like, I've read great stories with injustice and earth 1, but holy shit injustice and arkham knight?? jksdkjdsk the many parallels between injustice! Superman and arkham! Batman, and yet how their paths differed, my worm brain is obsessed. Just think about it:

A Superman who got tricked by the Joker by inhaling kryptonite infused fear toxin and ended up killing Lois, whose death then destroyed Metropolis. A Superman who then proceeded to kill off the Joker and began eliminating crime by creating a world of his own vision using force.

A Superman who let the Joker's influence rule his every action even after his death. A Superman who stopped being Clark Kent and became the ruthless tyrant Kal-El of the Regime. A Superman who kills anyone who's against him or gets in his way, in the name of protecting peace on earth.

vs

A Batman who got infected by the Joker and slowly lost his grip on reality as he went through a fear toxin riddled Gotham City. A Batman who despite everything, refused to kill to the very end, trying his best to save everyone, including the Joker.

A Batman who managed to defeat the Joker's influence in the end and locked him up. A Batman who also killed off Bruce Wayne like Superman did Clark Kent, but unlike Kal, Batman receded to the shadows, to once again become a myth, a nightmare. A Batman who now utilizes fear toxin to subdue criminals.

Admittedly the last bit is kind of a conjecture based off the ending of Arkham City, but seeing a fear toxin wielding Batman vs a Superman who knows so intimately what fear toxin can do sounds so so interesting. Especially since apparently injustice! Bruce used it on Zod after he killed Tim, but said he would never use it against Kal after what he had done under its influence.

Of course, they also have some major differences, Bruce never killed his family, even if for a good second he thought bringing Barbara into his crusade was the reason she died (except that was a hallucination thank god). He never destroyed Gotham, he helped make the city better, and continues to do so. Kal-El killed Lois and their unborn child with his bare hands, and right after Metropolis got nuked.

I can only imagine Kal-El's jealousy that despite their similarities, Bruce essentially still had everything, all his loved ones and his city. Also his confusion and rage when he learns that Bruce still tried to save the Joker even after the Joker had caused him so much grief and suffering. He just can't understand how Bruce could keep his no killing rule even after basically spiraling into the Joker's madness. He has so many whys he doesn't even know where to begin.

And if arkham! Batman manages to also interact with injustice! Batman somehow ohohoho that's also so many possibilities with that considering again that arkham! Batman still has all his children alive and thriving while injustice! Bruce very much does not. Among other things of course, but that's definitely a big one. The other big thing being of course the Joker infection thing.

I sadly don't know enough about injustice to see how the rest of the Regime or Insurgency would react to arkham! Batman but man I would love to see their reactions to a Batman who might have a few screws loose, still doesn't kill, and is even scarier than ever with his fear toxin and he himself with an absolute lack of fear.

[marley-manson]

inspired by the obnoxious anon haunting majorbaby lol:

In the past I’ve said I could see BJ as either gay or bi, which is technically true, but I don’t actually headcanon him as bi because BJ’s sexuality is only interesting to me if he’s gay. like, imo it’s the only sexual orientation that intersects with his characterization in a meaningful or worthwhile way.

BJ’s character is ‘archetypal poster boy for the 50s,’ and BJ’s story is about being obsessed with his wife as a coping mechanism, because he needs an image of an idyllic future to focus on while he’s in Korea. The cracks in BJ’s veneer begin to show when he reveals resentment over conforming to expectations (Wheelers and Dealers), when he reveals repressed rage which is explicitly tied to his fear of losing/not being good enough for his roles (hence the heavyhanded ‘replacements’ theme in Period of Adjustment), when he reveals insecurity over Peg needing him (several episodes where he freaks out about her being too independent or potentially cheating), and, when it comes to relevant flaws, when he straight up tells someone else he’d have an affair with her if it wasn’t for the fact that he needs his coping mechanism during his stay in a war zone (”I can’t go from hello to I love you because of the damn war!”)

You can argue for different interpretations of several of these moments individually if you want, but together, whether intentionally or not, they add up to a pretty consistent picture of a guy enamoured not with Peg and Erin specifically, but with being a perfect guy with a wife and child he supports.

So if he’s straight then he goes home and either stays married and lives happily ever after, which is both boring and thematically incorrect if we tie all these moments together as a coherent characterization rather than dismissing them as random disparate dramatic episodes a badly written character careens between, or he goes home and his marriage crashes and burns and he becomes serial remarriage guy, as Larry Gelbart has tongue-in-cheekly suggested, which is thematically correct but also boring.

If he’s bi see above. Maybe he explores his sexuality too, maybe he hooks up with Hawkeye, but it doesn’t add anything to his character. He’s attracted to women, he’s theoretically able to live happily ever after with one, he’s got nothing but his issues as a conformer in the 50s standing in his way of happy hetero ever after. He can still achieve his thematically appropriate divorce ending, but his sexuality doesn’t figure in one way or another, it’s incidental.

If he’s gay then it adds something. It enriches his role as 50s family guy poster boy by making it a fundamentally false image that he could never fit into, as well as adding a dimension to why he’s so desperate to cling to that image. It fits in neatly with his repression and resentment of being the great guy everyone likes (Wheelers and Dealers again), and even plays off the implication that he’s been dealing with negative feelings most of his life, which we can assume based on the way he describes his pranks as taking his feelings out on other people, and the fact that he was a hardcore practical joker pre-war too.

It even fits the satirical sensibility of the show when he was first introduced. To take BJ at face value in season 4 as Trapper’s replacement just straight up doesn’t work for me, and if we were meant to take him at face value then it’s a major misstep imo. The show consistently subverted its archetypal 50s characters. Norman Rockwell kid in Love and Marriage turned out to be a sex trafficker, Frank and Margaret are both giant judgmental hypocrites, everyone loves having sex and cheating. The satire was largely focused on the military, but it utilized the fact that it’s a period piece to make fun of the idealized, propagandic 50s image a lot. If BJ, who’s practically a 50s car ad come to life, was meant to be a straightforward picture-perfect dude thrown into a tragic situation, then the show really dropped the satirical ball by implying that an archetype like BJ genuinely is rightfully aspirational.

Which, yk, it very well might’ve, but if so then I’m gonna add some context in my own headcanons that makes his character fit the satire better, in addition to being more interesting, fun, and thematically appropriate.

[marauderundercover]

Crashed Dates (Day 2: Scarecrow)

Marinette grins at her boyfriend, swinging their intertwined hands back and forth as they walk around the pumpkin farm. It was so nice, finally being able to go on cute dates like this. They’d first started dating while he was in Paris on business, around a year ago. Sure, he’d made trips to Paris and she’d made a few to Metropolis, but it was different now that she had moved to Gotham. Now they were able to go on random, unplanned dates, instead of dates that had been planned for weeks. He was definitely worried when she first told him she was moving to Gotham, but she had reassured him that it would be fine. (Not that she had a choice in the matter, Tikki had informed her on her last trip to Metropolis that Gotham was sick, that it was calling out for help and that as the Guardian, it was her job to help it). Gotham was….interesting, but she’d settled in just fine in the two weeks she’d been there.

And so, when he had called her out of the blue to tell her he found a place he thought she’d love, she made sure she had enough layers and jumped at the chance for a day with him. So far, the day had been absolutely perfect. They’d drank hot apple cider, ate warm donuts, taken a trip around the farm on the hayride- everything was great. But for some reason, her amazingly stubborn boyfriend didn’t want to go into the corn maze. 

“Please! You’ll be my favorite person in the whole world.” She begs again, her grin quickly switching into a pout. She keeps pouting, leaning against his arm, until he sighs.

“Fine, we can do the maze.” He says and she cheers, standing on her toes and tugging him down slightly to give him a quick kiss. 

“You are the best!” She says, over enunciating every word. He just grins, giving her another soft kiss. 

“If we get lost, I’m calling the Demon Spawn to come get us out. Pretty sure he has a tracker on my phone.” Jason says, letting her tug him along towards the maze. She just rolls her eyes, grinning. 

“You know you’re secretly touched that he cares enough to track you.” She teases as they near the entrance of the maze.

“Yeah, yeah.” He grumbles, glaring at the scarecrow situated at the entrance of the maze. Marinette raises an eyebrow. 

“You have a problem with men made of straw?” She asks, legitimately confused by his reaction. 

“Geeze M, I knew you were new to Gotham but I forget how new.” He says, pulling her closer. She melts into him, still confused by his reaction, but happy to be close. As they walk through the maze, frustratingly running into deadends, Jason explains Scarecrow. Marinette decides that he’s number two on the list of villains she never wants to meet. Joker is number one. (Joker is also number one on the list of villains she wants to meet, but that’s because she’s always wondered what it would look like to cataclysm a psychotic clown). She’s just about to suggest they call Damian and utilize the tracker that was, undoubtedly on Jason’s phone, when the screaming begins. 

“There isn’t a haunted house here, is there.” Marinette says, her face pale. She wasn’t ready to be a hero again. She’d only defeated Hawkmoth a year ago. Just before meeting Jason. She didn’t want that part of her life again, not now. 

“No, no there’s not.” Jason says, eyes glancing around wildly. Marinette’s heart breaks at the panic on his face. She knew that, despite his tough guy appearance, he struggled. A lot. He had nightmares, constantly, mostly of the time Joker had kidnapped him (hence the whole, cataclysm Joker thing). Pushing down her own fear and doubt, she tightens her grip on his hand and squares her shoulders. 

“Come on.” She instructs, tugging him behind her as she darts through the maze, determined to get out. She stumbles over a rock and lets go of Jason’s hand in time for her to fall into a larger clearing. She curses as she falls, her palms stinging. 

“What have we here?” A voice says. Marinette sits up, staring up at a man in a scarecrow costume and suddenly, Jason’s fear, or rather, dislike, of scarecrows makes more sense. So much more sense. She glances around and lets out a sigh of relief. She’d let go of Jason quick enough. He wasn’t caught up in this. Hopefully, he could call his father. She wasn’t sure if the rumors about Bruce Wayne and Batman dating were true, but Batman was always quick to interfere if it was a Wayne or Wayne adjacent involved. 

“A girl who’s a little pissed that you crashed her date.” She retorts, standing up and brushing her stinging palms off on her jeans. She’d have to get the blood out later, which would be a pain. Better than having the blood on her palms mix with the dirt that also now covered her hands. 

“You’re either very brave or very stupid, little girl. Let’s see how you deal with my newest strain of fear toxin.” He says, and she lunges towards the man, not willing to go down without a fight. Almost immediately, a sharp pinch on her neck has her stumbling back away from the man as she tries to take in her new surroundings. 

She was back in Paris, but it wasn’t the Paris she had left. The city that was healing. Instead this Paris was underwater. Buildings were toppled over, and the moon was in pieces in the sky. She was back there. A place she hadn’t seen in person since she was fourteen, a place that had haunted her nightmares for ten years. She inhales sharply when she sees him. Chat Blanc. But instead of fear, she’s just angry. This isn’t real. It can’t be. Adrien Agreste was Chat Noir. And Adrien was….turning, she realizes that she can almost see him. Out of the corner of her eye, she can almost see Scarecrow, watching her. Waiting for her to react. Anger coursing through her, she charges the man, tackling him all the way to the ground. She pulls back her fist and punches him, repeatedly. 

“How dare you! How dare you use his face like that! You son of a bitch!” She screams as she hits, the roaring in her ears blocking out all other sounds. She keeps her focus on feeling the man she’s hitting, because the second she lets her focus wander, she gets sucked into her surroundings again. The way the sky just looks wrong. The odd haze over everything. And now, the corpses floating in the water closest to her. Adrien. Maman. Papa. She’s not scared, she’s pissed. Sure, those were her biggest fears and that’s definitely why she was seeing them all like that, but she’d already seen it. She’s lived it. They were gone, not coming back. And she sure as hell wasn’t going to fall down and break about it. Not when some asshole with fear toxin was running around randomly injecting people. Suddenly, something is wrapped around her and she’s pulled up. She kicks frantically, trying to get out of the steel grip she’s trapped in. She had to- what did she have to do? Another sharp pinch in her neck makes her eyes droop sleepily. She struggles again, barely able to hear the voice calling her name as she succumbs to the darkness.

---

Jason Todd feels like a major prick. He watched his girlfriend trip and instead of helping her up, he uses it as a distraction to try and call B. How the fuck was he supposed to know she tripped right into the Scarecrow? He’s cursing himself mentally as he rushes towards the ambulance. Replacement had texted him. 

Marinette was injected. At ambulances near front of farm

And Jason felt like shit. She’d never forgive him, not that he deserved it. He’d left her with one of Gotham’s biggest villains. His heart sinks when he sees the blood on her, and the oxygen mask attached to her face. Fuck. He’s almost to her, when one of the asshole cops stops him. 

“Excuse me, sir, you can’t go over there.” He says and Jason scowls. 

“Like hell I can’t. She’s my girlfriend, let me through.” He says, and the man shakes his head. 

“Family only.” He states. Jason’s about to argue, when a hand lands on his shoulder. 

“I still need to get a statement from Mr. Todd, if you’ll excuse us.” Replacement says, leading him away from the cop. 

“I left her.” He says, the second they’re far enough away. Tim frowns.

“What do you-”

“I mean, I left her. She tripped and instead of checking on her, I was a complete and total asshole and left her so I could call B to get his ass over here and solve the goddamn problem.” Jason says, feeling like even more of an asshole now that he’s said it out loud. 

“Did you see Scarecrow?” Replacement asks. Jason scoffs. 

“Of course not! You really think I would’ve left if I had?” He asks with a glare. 

“No, I don’t. So stop blaming yourself. I literally peeled her off of Scarecrow, she was beating the crap out of him. She’s gonna be tired and scared and confused when she wakes up. Just be there-”

“Jason!” Her terrified voice echoes out and Jason turns, sprinting for the cot he’d seen her on a minute ago. She had ripped the oxygen mask off her face and was looking around while arguing with the paramedic. 

“Ma’am please-” “Marinette!” Jason calls, and her face relaxes as she leaps off the cot and launches herself into his arms. He holds her as she shakes, sobs wracking her body. 

“I saw them.” She mumbles once she calms down a little. He frowns. 

“Saw who?” He asks. 

“My parents. Adrien. Their bodies.” She says, and suddenly, Jason has another name to add to his kill list. Being a complete asshole to all of Gotham, sure. Making his girlfriend see the bodies of those she’d lost? Nope. Now the bastard better hope he didn’t meet Red Hood in an alley. 

“God, Mari, I am so sorry. I’m so sorry I left.” He apologizes, his heart aching when she pushes him away. She frowns up at him and he winces, certain she’s about to break up with him. 

“Left?” She asks and he nods. 

“When you tripped, I swear, I didn’t know Scarecrow was there.” He says. 

“But you got Batman here.” She says and he jerks back. How the hell had she figured it out? When did she- “I know Bruce said he isn’t dating Batman, but honestly, I think he’s just in denial.” She adds. 

“I- what?” 

“Batman always comes when anyone in the Wayne family is in danger. Like, so quickly. And I know that Bruce says it’s just a bunch of rumors, like the whole ‘the butts match’ thing? But I also think that Batman is head over heels for Bruce, and your dad is just kinda clueless.” She rambles. Jason just laughs before pulling her into a deep kiss. She was okay. They were okay. He pulls back and grins at her, until he notices the blood again. 

“Shit, that’s a lot of blood.” He says, taking her hand in his to try and find the source. He glances at her face and raises an eyebrow at the blush that had taken over her face. 

“Oh, um, it’s not mine.” She mumbles. 

“Then who-” “Apparently I beat the hell out of Scarecrow. In my defense, that fear toxin sucked. And I was kinda pissed.” She says, frowning down at the blood on her hands. Jason takes one of his hands and gently tilts her chin up so that she’s looking at him again. He grins at her, giving her a short, soft kiss before pulling back. 

“I love you.” He says, and if the kiss she gave him in return meant anything, she felt the same way.

Next

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[retphienix]

Forgive me while I audibly wrack my head to decide on my party for a second ;-;

So first to consider would be Ryuji who I just, deep in my gut, always want on my party.

The thing is he's falling behind, at least on paper. In practice he's kicking ass, but looking at his stats and moves it's hard to not admit he mostly normal attacks (for decent damage) or tosses out an extremely weak lightning move just to hit a weakness.

He stacks endurance, which is nice, but also I haven't "really" been taking big damage anyway so it's kinda overkill.

His attack is great, but not 'the best'. So it's worth considering.

And his trait actually procs all the damn time- an extra 40% damage on physical attacks is REALLY nice even with my Joker currently playing caster (with a melee focused persona... I ain't bright).

Honestly, his best addition to the team is that trait. It's a HEFTY amount and between Yusuke and himself it's getting a lot of use. It's just a shame his strength isn't a 'bit' higher and he still hasn't learned Assault Dive which will be his first heavy hitting physical move. Most of his skills are kinda duds tbh, some lightning coverage, a lot of phys moves I never use, Rampage for AOE, that's it.

The resolve isn't helping currently since I ambush all the time, and I don't really use his turn to buff so-

Maybe.

Morgana has been benched since the option presented itself (not because I dislike them any) because I don't see much need for so much support on one character I guess.

Their trait couldn't be less interesting to me- more healing is nice but if I need it I'll use a bigger heal, why dedicate a partner trait to it?

Moves are just way too much cleanse. Heals are great, I need em. Wind is good coverage obviously since you can pretty much only count on one coverage type per party member when it comes to direct casting, I don't like crits- fuck Lucky punch, I admittedly under-utilize ailments so that's on ME BUT~! Confuse isn't an ailment I'm interested in anyway so that's a dead move.

Really just dislike that he has both a weak cleanse- and an AOE weak cleanse. The aoe one is nice but it's ONLY Sleep/Dizzy/Forget/Hunger, I can count on one hand how often any one of those has negatively impacted one party member let alone the squad.

Just seems too situational- I know some enemy will come and make it a problem, but far too situational for me to go "I need Morgana on my team all the time!"

Stats aren't even interesting. He's magic oriented but not overly so, so he's fast and can heal half decent, it's not a bad niche but no thank you.

Next.

Ann kinda keeps getting the short straw in combat, but only slightly.

She is arguably a linchpin for my stategies and yet also that usually means she doesn't get to shine lol

She can heal, that's fantastic, I really only need one party member who is able to and she can fill that well.

Fire coverage, nice, no use mentioning the one spell coverage for everyone so just consider that said from here on out.

SLEEP is a godsend. It's a tool I very rarely need, but it's ONE skill slot in her movepool and it can be such an incredible get out of jail free card- ailment spells like that are just so ridiculously accurate in this game- it literally hasn't missed, so it's reliable as heck!

And the other killer move for her is Tarunda- I use that one a LOT. Not for every encounter, but pretty much any encounter that I can't one turn usually has a big fuck who swings melee at me, and she just entirely wipes that threat in one move. I love Tarunda.

And I haven't had a use for it yet, but she knows friggin' DEKAJA? A full team buff removal for the enemy? HOLY HECK that could save my life.

Can't forget her really high magic stat- really nice to spend her off turns just tossing some fire and it actually hurting.

And to top it all off her passive is NUTS.

SP conservation is such a gift when diving into palaces or mementos with the intent of doing everything in one run, and just like Ryuji her SP cost down procs like mad.

I'd argue on a case by case that Ann does the least for my team, but she is just so ridiculously necessary for every fight that falls outside of that range AND she passively lowers my SP expenses on ALL fights, so man.

I think she has her slot, at least as much as Ryuji as I type this.

Unlike the previous characters I have a lot less to say about Yusuke, but not in a bad way.

He hits hard with his sword.

That's it.

Maybe I should pull my head out of my ass and admit that he's become extremely one note on my team, and his passive is forgettable (increase dodge on phys moves, I don't like relying on that), and his magic does no damage beyond coverage, but he really somehow has been keeping his slot through the most unga bunga caveman logic possible.

He Hits Really Hard, like every turn, with basic attacks, with skills, lord if you baton pass him the target is dead.

He has like zero flexibility so any enemy that resists or nullifies physical entirely walls him out, but MAN.

Also Goemon is cool. But mostly it's him just casually farting out 400+ damage when everyone else can do like 150.

Damn it, it's feeling like Yusuke's slot is loosening up as I admit all that though.

And finally, the newcomer Makoto.

Outside of her kit I just want to take her along for the same reason I wanted to take Yusuke- she's new, I want to bring her along for her dungeon at the very least.

Now her kit is...

I ain't supremely impressed, yet it's so balanced that I'm not mad about it.

Coverage, yep got that.

An AOE medium phys move out the gate, that's convenient.

Stats leave a LOT to be desired because they are so balanced- there's no strength or weakness to consider.

Med heal out the gate, nice, evens out to making her an adequate healer despite her stats.

Defense buff, not my thing, wasting a turn for a solo def buff just really isn't my thing especially since I'm not taunting or whatever so I can't direct the enemy to attack my buffed party member unlike using Tarunda on the offending ENEMY member.

Solo target Forget is... fine? I under-utilize ailments like I said, but Forget IS a nice one that forces auto attacks instead of spells. There's some synergy in the idea of forgetting the enemy and buffing defense, but like, nah. Best I can say is it'd be a nice combo tool with Tarunda if she works alongside Ann.

And to cap it off her trait is... well it might actually be pretty interesting.

Unlike strictly 'ailments' ELEMENTAL ailments IE Burn/Freeze/Shock are pretty nice and can lead to technical attacks!

I've been getting a ton of use out of the free High Shock gun Joker gets because of that for instance.

So her passive raising the chance to inflict those 3 elemental blights by 25% isn't bad at all and could actually end up being the most impactful thing she brings to the table.

I think... she might end up taking Yusuke's place as a less impactful damage dealer but a great element channeler for the squad.

Okay yeah this helped figure things out.

Joker/Ryuji/Ann/Makoto it is.

[danny-chase]

The Batfam as Tech Majors

AU where Alfred got tired of watching Bruce slap duct tape on the Batmobile and call it good, so he forced the children into college. He makes each of them complete an internship with Lucius in R and D so they have better knowledge of how the devices that their lives depend on work. Majors/minors/tropes under cut.

Dick:

Mechanical Engineering Major

He was in undeclared engineering for as long as possible

He settled on mechanical because it seemed the most broad

Plus he joined a car club, loved it, and there were a ton of MechE’s there

He ends up taking credit overloads most semesters because he always finds 1-3 random classes that he wants to take

Despite taking everything from advanced computer science classes (he somehow convinces even the most intense professors to let him into their classes) to hyper specific phycology classes, he doesn’t have any minors to show for it

He just gets bored with the subject after a couple classes

This gives him a bunch of random knowledge

When he talks to his younger siblings about classes, somehow he’s always managed to take at least one that they’re in, and offers advice.

He has the best RA stories. He most certainly did not need to be an RA. But the school was hurting for them and he thought it would be fun.

His residents loved him, but that didn’t stop them from playing beer pong in the common spaces at 3am.

He founds a circus arts club after his residents pull up information about his past and get overly excited about it

Specifically, he finds out they know about his past, because one of them decided it was a good idea to try and juggle knives, and because he’d prefer there not to be any additional bloodstains on the carpet he decides to start the club

He nearly graduated late because he forgot he needed to take specific classes for his major

Barbara: 

Computer Science/Math duel Major

She’s a TA for Comp Sci 1, all the students fight to get her help because she’s amazing at spotting bugs and is super patient

Somehow she’s the president of 3 clubs and is on student senate

She’s the curve breaker

She gets homework assignments meant to take a week done the day they’re assigned

She and Dick went to a single party together, stayed for five minutes, decided it was too loud, and went to get ice cream

Along with her club, she’s in professional organizations, and is part of a women in STEM mentoring program

She started a petition to get more wheel chair ramps installed. Half the buildings are protected under some “historical grounds” bs that’s an excuse for not being accommodating

The petition didn’t go anywhere at first, but it was widely shared on social media and made the school look horrible, so they implemented some of her proposals

Jason:

Philosophy/Cognitive Science duel Major

He gets asked “There’s a philosophy major?” every time he has to do one of those stupid what’s your name and major icebreakers

Jason lives in the library

He’s fallen asleep in there at 3am after it gets locked up

He quotes philosophers at his siblings when they’re being annoying, and it effectively shuts them up, because he only quotes the most nonsensical arguments

He gets involved with the college’s community outreach program

He volunteers for a local robotics team

When people find out his majors, they’re genuinely confused, because he understands robotics really well

He lies his ass off about being really interested in it as a child

Dick convinced him to be an RA for a semester, and he almost had a heart attack

Someone choked in front of him on the first day

Despite seeming like a tough RA, he genuinely cared about his residents and had to quit because he was so stressed out that one of them would do something stupid and die

Cass:

Innovation/Design Major

She’s really observant, so she’s great at spotting flaws in infrastructure and coming up with ways to fix them

Spending time with Barbara made her realize the lack of systems designed with wheelchair users in mind

Her experience being illiterate and not knowing English has imprinted on her the need for signage that can be understood by anyone

She focuses on taking project based classes, where she can draw out her designs and build them, rather than figuring out the math behind them

She has patents for the inventions she created at WE

She was exempted from the “Alfred’s mandatory college degree program” but decided to go as a part time student for herself

It took her twice as long to graduate, and a lot of tutoring from her siblings, but she made it!

The family threw her an extra special party when she graduated - everyone else had minor celebratory dinners, but they went all out for Cass

There was not a dry eye at her graduation ceremony

Cass works part time with WE on and off as a designer after her first internship

She comes up with ideas during patrols, draws them and sends them to Lucius

Tim:

Computer Science Major with a minor in game design

He makes it to approximately 20% of his lectures

He nearly didn’t graduate on time because he put off his humanity courses for so long

He missed the actual ceremony, even though the family showed up

He starts all his assignments the day before they’re due

If at all possible he avoids groupwork and offers to do assignments by himself because he gives his teammates heart attacks when he starts his part the project at 3pm the day before it’s due

This leads to extremely frequent all-nighters

He always finds himself rewriting everyone else’s code to make it work more efficiently

This can, of course, cause some people to feel a little upset

Other students specifically seek him out as a teammate so they can half ass their parts

He participates in game jams when he has time, and got super into the hacking club

Against all odds, he joined a fraternity

Dick literally fell off a building when he found out

He makes up stories about partying for the heck of it, when in reality he and the guys just play Smash Bros together until 3am

He hasn’t seen anyone drink more than two beers, and he hasn’t tried alcohol there either

He joined on accident, he had just pulled an all-nighter and stumbled into a recruiting fair, he heard someone shouting about Mario Kart Double Dash, and bada bing bada boom, he agreed to rush because it involved being stuck in a room playing video games all weekend

Steph:

Civil Engineering Major with minors in Sustainability and STSS (Science, Technology, and Social Science) 

She gets constantly shit on for being a civie

Every time she introduces herself someone mumbles “fake mechie” in the background

She and Jason complain about the disrespect together

She was genuinely shocked when Bruce offered to pay for her college tuition

She’d been planning on going and cutting costs any way possible

But Bruce took her aside when she was applying and offered to pay it all

She refused at first, but then money just appeared in her bank account, and what was she supposed to do, give it back?

She also participates in professional groups and is a member of SWE (Society of Women Engineers), and she mentors younger students

She ends up as class president by running a very successful social media meme campaign

She got and email saying she’d won and panicked because she had no idea what she was doing and was just having fun making memes

She ended up staying class president the entire time, and ended up getting really into it, and ended up with a pretty solid approval rating

She joined a sorority and had a blast

They worked with the local animal shelter, and she started bringing Damian along as well

Her sisters think he’s adorable and he secretly enjoys the attention

She gets her revenge on all the civil engineering haters by landing her dream job redesigning the poorer areas of Gotham to include more green spaces, increase affordable housing, and upgrading access to utilities

Duke:

Biochemisty Major with a minor in Neuroscience 

Harper, Tim, Steph, and him are all in the same year

Tim convinces him to join the fraternity with him

He joins a variety of professional groups as well

He mentors other BIPOC, and joins NSBE (National Society of Black Engineers) and runs helps run professional development programs

But he’s also in like million other clubs that he does not put on his resume

He’s runs the college’s meme page club, is part of the Pokémon Go club, is on the competitive Overwatch team, consistently attends the anime club’s Dragon Ball Z watch parties, joins the Dance Dance Revolution club, and the list goes on and on

When Tim is awake, and Harper isn’t busy, they go with him, but both of them have too much inconsistencies in their schedule to join

He ends up meeting like half the campus

He unintentionally has become a god of networking

Unlike his siblings, he goes all the way for a doctorate

He researches Joker venom, determined to figure out a cure for his parents (in my HC, he eventually does)

He wins like every award imaginable for his groundbreaking research into venoms as he comes up with vaccines that save countless lives

He still works on the meme page, even after he graduates

Harper:

She somehow defies all odds and triple majors in Physics, Mechanical Engineering, and Electrical Engineering

She takes credit overload every semester, and gets credit for her internships at WE

She and Steph were roommates freshman year, and Steph swears that Harper never sleeps

She is the most wanted partner for every engineering project

She thrives in college, and lives off of coffee

She’s in the front row in every lecture

She doesn’t leave the lecture halls, she’s gotten locked in more than once after falling asleep

She had a heart attack the first time she saw students using the machine shop

Half the students weren’t wearing safety glasses, she counted three people wearing slides, the machines were rusted over, the soldering irons were all broken, and she nearly watched someone break their wrist using a power drill

She refuses to work there

Her secret to success is prioritizing - she absorbs the material like a sponge so if homework is only worth 5%, it isn’t getting done, and she’ll just cram before the exam

She almost joined Tim and Duke’s frat (it’s co-ed), but she didn’t have the time

They let her in without rushing senior year because Tim ended up as the boss, and he said so

Cullen:

I don’t know a ton about Cullen, but I feel like he would be a comp sci major

He comes in when Harper, Tim, Duke, and Steph are upperclassmen, and he joins all of Duke’s clubs

They have a million inside jokes

To the other siblings, it seems like the two have their own language

He also joins a club that mentors LGTBQ+ students at the local high school, and encourages them to pursue STEM careers if they’re interested

Jason recruits him as a mentor for the robotics team (he’s the lead mentor at this point) after some of the kids in his mentoring program mention him at a meeting and Jason is like O.O

He avoids parties at all costs, and ends up joining the frat as well

It’s all Duke’s fault he’s in a frat

He does however, meet some lovely boys in the frat

Damian: 

Aerospace Engineering/Environmental Engineering dual Major with minors in sustainability and biology

He nearly riots when he’s presented with the college’s idea of a vegetarian/vegan meal

He manages to get out of the meal plan after that, and begins rallying students to push for better options that contain actual protein

He joins a community service club that works with the local animal shelter, and secretly joins the circus arts club (that’s thriving even without Dick there)

He learns how to sew blankets out of old clothes for the animals

He and Barbara are the only siblings to graduate with a 4.0, simply because they were the only one that took the time to actually do all the homework, and remembered to turn things in on time

He refuses to live in the dorms, and instead lives in one of their apartments nearby (once again somehow managing to complain to the college enough to get his housing waived)

He literally walked in once when visiting Duke, and immediately walked out, and resolved never to step near one again

He makes a total of three friends while at the school, both are in the animal shelter club

They exchange vegetarian/vegan recipes, and get together to cook

He decides to move off campus with them his junior year when they needed another roommate, and he won’t admit it to his siblings, but he had a ton of fun

He and his friend group may have joined an animal rights hacktivist group and may have helped orchestrate some major hacks

Poisson Ivy finds out and feeds him targets and information when they’re supposed to be fighting (she just walks back to Arkham if the others aren’t watching, and slips him a list at the end)

Bonus Bruce:

He cries at every graduation

He’s asked to make a speech at every graduation

He never does - it’s about his kids, not him

He single handedly is keeping the school from bankruptcy - not that any of his kids (other than probably Barbara) know

He sobbed for days after Cass graduated

He genuinely didn’t expect Dick or Tim to graduate

After Dick graduated, he wouldn’t let Bruce touch any of the equipment, and the rest of his kids followed suit

He isn’t actually bad at engineering, his education was just super informal, and hey duct tape works 95% of the time in his experience

The real reason Alfred was annoyed was because he refused to take the time to properly fix something if someone was in danger, and then he’d forget that he’d just used duct tape to patch something

But now since no one lets him touch anything, he’s genuinely lost a lot of the knowledge

But in a pinch, he can fix stuff

[thevindicativevordan]

Metallo

I wanted to talk about one of my favorite DC villains, a guy who I’ve always thought was incredibly cool. A guy who I’ve thought makes a really awesome contrast for Superman. A guy who has never been in stories that have utilized his potential in my eyes:

Let’s talk about Metallo.

Metallo’s Background

He’s one of Superman’s oldest Rogues, and also one of the Rogues who has gone through the most revamps. The Golden Age Superman fought a guy called Metalo aka George Grant who created a suit of armor made out of the strongest metal on Earth (something that would resurface in the Grant Morrison revamp during the New 52) and a super strength serum that made him Superman’s physical equal. In an odd way he was an evil proto-Iron Man/Post Crisis Lex Luthor:

The John Corben take wouldn’t show up until the 1950s, created by Robert Bernstein and Al Plastino. This was the foundation for the modern conception of Metallo:

Right off the bat Corben was positioned as an Anti-Superman, predating Bizarro who wouldn’t show up until later. Corben worked as a journalist to cover up his real activities as a murderer and thief. An accident that nearly killed him and crippled his human body, forced him to accept a deal with a scientist to transfer his mind to a new artificial body. The scientist transferred his mind into an android body covered in synthetic bulletproof skin, gifting Corben with super strength. The synthetic skin idea would be used in Byrne’s revamp and the DCAU incarnation. He was initially powered by uranium, but was told he would need Kryptonite to fuel himself permanently. Corben would also act as a romantic rival for Clark via wooing Lois with his pretense of being Superman’s secret identity.

Ultimately John Corben would die in his debut issue, after mistaking a museum prop for the actual Kryptonite he needed to power himself. I often wonder if the character might have been better off if he had not been killed off in his debut, similarly to how the Joker was saved from dying in his debut by editorial. There were many intriguing ideas present in Corben’s creation: He was a romantic rival for Clark Kent, he used his journalism in a similar if villainous way as Superman did, and he was powered by the very thing that could kill Superman while still possessing enough raw strength to stand on equal terms with the Man of Steel. If they had kept him around, fleshed him out more, might Metallo have enjoyed more long term respect?

 Regardless, Corben’s death paved the way for the third Metallo: His brother Roger Corben.

Roger likewise had a lot of interesting ideas that would eventually get folded into the modern Metallo. He was not a petty thief, but had a personal vendetta with Superman over the death of his brother. Superman accidentally caused the very accident that crippled Roger, adding to the man’s feud. Roger was also a leader within the Skull organization, rather than the small time criminal his brother was. This Metallo’s design would form the basis for the Geoff Johns/Gary Frank revamp during Secret Origin, and I suspect the Johns conception of Metallo as a member of a wider organization and whose transformation was caused by Superman has it’s roots here.

Sadly the take on a more fleshed out Metallo would not last. The Roger Corben version of Metallo would meet his end with the rest of the Pre-Crisis Superman Rogues Gallery in the seminal Alan Moore story Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?

Enter John Byrne:

During his Post-Crisis revamp of the Supermythos, Byrne returned to the John Corben take of a petty thief injured in an accident, who is rebuilt by a mad scientist Professor Vale. Byrne added his own twist though, with the scientist believing Superman to be the first scout in a full blown Kryptonian takeover of Earth, and specifically crafted Metallo to be an Anti-Superman weapon powered by Kryptonite. Metallo was to be humanity’s defense against the threat of Superman, an idea that would be revisited in Johns’ and Morrison’s revamps. Unfortunately petty thieves don’t make for great heroes, and Metallo killed Vale, ultimately coming into conflict with Superman not over any desire to protect humanity, but to simply eliminate a thorn in his side.

This incarnation of Metallo has basically served as the basis for his appearance in outside media, with a design that blatantly draws on the popular Terminator films.

This version of Metallo would also acquire a variety of powers thanks to making a deal with Neron that included the ability to transform parts of his body into weapons, transfer his consciousness into any technological or mechanical device, and manipulate his size:

Personally I’ve always loved that powerset upgrade, and think it’s crucial it sticks. It let him kick the shit out of Superman AND Batman in Loeb Superman/Batman, which basically solidified for me that this dude was a badass you didn’t want to mess with. Shame he’s never come close to matching that initial impression since.

The DCAU mostly used the Byrne revamp’s take, but they did change a few aspects which would end up carrying over to the mainline version. Most important was the replacing of Vale with Lex Luthor as the mind behind Metallo’s creation, something that would be incorporated in both Johns and Morrison’s later revamps.

One aspect that they introduced that didn’t carry over, that was still utilized to great effectiveness in the show, was that Corbyn’s transformation had robbed him of most physical sensation. He couldn’t taste, smell, touch, all the little things that made us human, and that drove him nuts. Ultimately he would learn that Lex was responsible for what happened to him, and he would swear a grudge against both Lex and Superman. Malcom McDowell was a fantastic choice to play Metallo, and is still the guy I “hear” when I read Metallo’s dialogue.

Now we come to the guy who crafted the next big revamp of Metallo: Geoff Johns.

This version of Metallo incorporated a ton of aspects from the multiple revamps that had preceded it, in much the same way Secret Origin did to Superman as a whole, while also adding a few new twists that I consider essential to the character now.

Like the DCAU, Luthor was the one who transformed Corben into Metallo. Like the Roger Corben take, this John Corben was accidentally crippled in a fight with Superman that gave him a personal vendetta against the Man of Steel.  Similar to Byrne, this Metallo was created to be an Anti-Superman weapon. Corben and Lois had had a brief romantic relationship, similar to the original debut of Corben. Johns even incorporated some of the Golden Age Metallo by having Corben suit up in a mech suit made of “Metallo”, the strongest metal on Earth to fight Superman before the accident. Johns also added a key bit of lore that I love, that Corben served as a soldier under General Sam Lane, and became the man’s surrogate son, the child he always wanted as opposed to Lois and Lucy. Here Corben is motivated to fight Kal-El by a mix of xenophobia, need to impress his father figure, desire to impress Lois, and a simple dose of blood lust.

The last major revamp came from Grant Morrison during the New 52:

Morrison kept a lot of the Johns revamp: Corben was a soldier serving under Sam Lane, he had a brief romantic relationship with Lois, he was distrustful of Superman’s heroics, and his transformation into Metallo was connected to Lex. However Corben was a much more sympathetic figure under Morrison than under Johns, genuinely believing Superman to be a threat, he volunteered to be merged with the Metal-0 superweapon (another callback to the original Metalo) to defend humanity, but Brainiac hijacked his cybernetics and turned him into a weapon. 

While Metallo would get another visual revamp for Rebirth, posted in the first image, Corben has more or less stayed within the confines that Byrne/Johns/Morrison established.

How I would use Metallo

I said earlier that Metallo is a guy I loved that I’ve never thought has lived up to his potential. He’s a villain with a lot of cool ideas, he’s a villain who has been continuously used by a lot of my favorite writers, but he’s never lived up to the Anti-Superman characterization that’s baked into him. Too often he’s just been a glorified henchman, or a petty thug, rarely if ever challenging Superman except in the most basic physical sense. I think that’s a great disservice to the ability of the character to be a much more important Rogue. That writers so often refuse to focus on him or any of the Rogues beyond Lex also hasn’t done him any favors. Instead of creating countless new OCs that are tossed aside by the next writer, someone needs to come on board with a passion for revamping the classics.

A lot of Superman’s Rogues suck not because they aren’t cool or don’t bring any interesting ideas, but because the ideas don’t do a good job in contrasting with Superman’s attributes. Metallo is a great example of this, look at all the interesting ideas creators have crafted around him, yet none of them have really been able to push those ideas as a way to explore and contrast Superman, so we get basic “Metallo tries to kill Superman, fails, Superman sends him back to jail” stories. That’s a failure of creativity in my eyes. I think that by choosing from some of the revamps listed above, a better, cooler, more interesting Metallo can be crafted.

The basics as established by Byrne/Johns/Morrison are great! The essential ideas that should be incorporated from all of the revamps listed above are:

1. Corben needs to have a military background as in Johns/Morrison. The petty thief origin is too dull, there’s nothing really to be mined there from a characterization standpoint. As a soldier Corben can serve as an interesting critique and contrast of Superman as an icon of America. The “American Way” has always been a dicey add-on to the original “Truth and Justice” motto. Often it’s been used to cast Superman as an obedient stooge of the government, as he was in The Dark Knight Returns, a characterization that has dogged him ever since. I think Corben can serve as an interesting character to explore Superman’s relationship with the American military-industrial complex. I would have Corben be what said complex wants Superman to be, at least in the beginning: A human WMD they can aim and fire, who will always follow orders no matter how reprehensible they are, who has a firm “America First” mindset. That way you can contrast the mainline Superman, and show that Superman is not that while also establishing what “The American Way” means in his eyes. Or you can have Superman drop that aspect of his motto in-universe, out of disgust for how his government perverts it. Either option is fine with me, I didn’t mind when Superman renounced his American citizenship.

2. If Lois often has to end up working with Clark’s exes, whether it’s Lana, Diana, or whoever, I think it’s only fair that Clark has to end up facing down an ex from Lois’ past. It’s important to show that Lois had a life before Clark showed up, and I think Corben is a good way to explore some of that. He’s the possessive ex-boyfriend who doesn’t respect Lois’ personal space and is convinced he can “win her back” via sheer determination. You can also compare and contrast the way Clark courted Lois, did Clark occasionally make the same pigheaded assumptions as Corben did? Corben debuted as a romantic rival for Superman, and I think that aspect still has merit. I also like his status as Sam’s surrogate son, it adds for some nice tension with Clark’s father-in-law that the guy he actually wanted to marry Lois was transformed into a weapon to kill the guy who ended up being his son-in-law. 

3. Corben is a true believer in the threat Superman poses, and is willing to take on the transformation into Metallo to protect humanity. It’s xenophobia yes, but with all the Evil Superman stories going around, it’s hard not to sympathize at least a little bit with Corben’s viewpoint, which tie into a deeper attribute of Corben’s I think needs to be brought up: Corben should be a sympathetic villain. I wouldn’t make him a bloodthirsty psycho, Superman has plenty of those. Corben should have villainous valor, willing to tackle on whatever threats to humanity are out there, whether Superman or others. I would make Corben instead someone who has the genuine desire to protect humanity, but lacks Superman’s concern for collateral damage. In that way you could contrast the two’s brand of “heroics”, Superman’s loyalty to humanity as a whole over one nation, and concern with protecting lives first and foremost, Corben’s desire to protect humanity’s future for the “greater good” even if it costs a few lives in the here and now and loyalty to America above all else. 

4. I like the idea of Superman being inadvertently responsible for the accident that cripples Corben and mandates his transformation. It adds to his sympathy, helps justify why Superman might continue to believe Corben could find redemption (he wants Corben to change and also wants to find a way to earn Corben’s forgiveness one day), and provides a good personal reason for why Corben would hate Superman, blaming Supes for his current state. I would also have him blame Sam and Lex as well, but he would subdue those resentments for as long as he remained working for the military. Only after he finally snaps would he target those two.

5. Finally I would keep the ability to shapeshift his body into weapons, and to manipulate technology. I would have Corben emulating Adam Jensen from Deus Ex, able to “hack” tech around him for his own purpose, armed with a variety of weapons that make him a huge threat not just to Superman but to everyone. Finally I would get rid of the Kryptonite heart. I’m tired of every battle with Metallo going the same way: He shows up, blasts Superman with kryptonite radiation, Superman lies on the ground gasping in pain, Metallo stands around gloating like a moron instead of finishing Supes off, Supes beats him by tricking him or by someone else intervening. I want to see Metallo as an Anti-Superman weapon realized beyond jus the Kryptonite. How about incorporating the DCAU version’s lack of feeling, so that Metallo doesn’t feel pain from Superman’s blows or his powers? How about giving him an internal temperature controller, so he can’t be melted by heat vision or frozen by arctic breath? How about an invisibility cloak that hides him from Superman’s vision, sound mufflers that let him sneak up on Supes even with his hearing, basically go WILD with his Anti-Superman status, let us see a real fight between someone who can counter each of Superman’s powers! You have Kryptonite Man and Lex for the villains who mainly make use of Kryptonite against Superman, I think Metallo should go in a different direction. Morrison making it so that “Metal-0″ was already powerful enough to hurt Superman is all the justification you need as to why he still poses a threat in my opinion.

I’ll go over the basic arc I’d want to see him undergo and the kinds of stories I think he’s positioned to tell in another post.

[friendlyantagonist]

Hey 28 yr old NB here searching for a slow burn MxM romance roleplay! I love doubling up characters so that there's more characters to cause conflict and drive the plot forwards!

I need my RP partner to at least be 21+ ! I would also prefer a partner who won't be upset if I don't respond for a day, or if I lag. (I usually respond a few times a day, however!) I'm going to have some more free time here coming up, so that should be great!

I also write about a paragraph or two per post, unless there's a lot going on, then I write even more! I'd like someone who matches about that same length!

Some RP's I had in mind:

1.) A Hero character who has been raised to take care of humanity is secretly jealous of the freedom that the Villain has. The Villain secretly yearns to be loved by humanity, but feels stuck in their everyday life, and finds it to be the only way they can flirt with the Hero (a barely badly hidden crush on the hero is also a thing) When the Villain finds the Hero hurt, he takes him to his lair and helps him heal up / Alternatively, the hero finds the Villain beat up and instead of turning him in, protects him and let's him heal up at his place

2.) When people are given superpowers or have the ability to switch into a monstrous form, the government creates a branch made specifically to lock these people away and experiment on them, trying to find a way to utilize them for war or other reasons. Our characters meet during a few experiments where the scientists are studying the effects between their abilities/ Monster forms, expecting them to fight. After a few meetings, they stop fighting, finding common ground in wanting to escape the building and run away and get free.

3.) Dr. Hilbert / Doug Eiffel - Yeah. You read that right.

4.) Harvey Dent / Joker - Yeah. Another weird ship. I'm out here wildin.

Please message me about any of these if you're interested! I'll give you my discord!

[auncyen]

Ok ok so I'd been idly thinking about updating "Chats with Joker in Mementos" for Royal for a while, except as far as I know there aren't any transcriptions for the Royal Mementos chats like there is for Vanilla...

So...after some questionable use of my time, I now have a list of a good chunk of the starters in Royal. Only starters, not responses, since the point of the fic is having Joker be the one to respond, and I didn't transcribe ones I didn't think would be interesting for him to respond to, but still, if anyone does ever look to do a complete transcription, this might be helpful as a start? Or just interesting if you want to see what some characters talk about. Spoilers for third semester below cut.

Ryuji: Man, we really bust our asses to get stronger in here. I wish it meant we got stronger in the real world too.

Ryuji: Man, I had this horrible dream last night… Can’t remember a thing about it, though.

Ryuji: Ya know what? I guess Mona does have a mask, technically.

Ryuji: Yo, the way he jumps behind Shadows is so sick!

Ryuji: Yo, is it just me, or is fallin’ asleep getting tougher every night? At this point, I’m outta ideas of what to do.

Ryuji: Kinda fiendin’ for some ramen right about now… Maybe I’ll hit up Ogikubo when we get back.

RyujI: So lately, I’ve been tryin’ to work some training into my nightly routine before bed.

Ryuji: Hey, is it just me, or is Morgana’s sword basically the same size as Joker’s knife?

Ryuji: My mom made gyudon last night! My fave! Now I’ve got, like, fifty times more energy than usual!

Ryuji: This phantom thief stuff feels real as hell whenever he’s flyin’ around with that grappling hook.

Ryuji: Dude, that grappling hook is awesome! He looks like a freakin’ superhero with that thing!

Ryuji: Aww man, I just can’t get enough of those Akihabara maids…

Ryuji: Aren’t knives kinda hard to use ‘cause of their shortness? I definitely prefer my own shit.

Ryuji: I always thought darts looked easy—just aim for the board, y’know? But, it’s waaay harder than that.

Ryuji: Every try the monja in Tsukishima? That stuff is LEGIT.

Ryuji: Yo, does this outfit really make me look like I’m part of some biker gang?

-

Morgana: Listen, it’s not that I look like a cat. Cats just happen to look like me.

Morgana: I repeat: I am not a cat. To prove it, I took an actual bath yesterday.

Morgana: So, cats love to chase mice, right? I don’t get it—where’s the fun in that?

Morgana: I’m always so entranced by Panther’s whip technique!

Morgana: Panther, we have matching tails!

Morgana: You know, I’ve never actually been in a car before. Is it anything like I am now?

Morgana: I definitely made the right decision giving him the code name “Joker.”

Morgana: I’m willing to bet Joker’s skilled enough to use throwing knives.

Morgana: Anime, books, movies… Phantom thieves sure are popular.

Morgana: Last night I dreamt that Phantom Thieves were kicking some serious butt—let’s bring that dream to life!

Morgana: I can teach you everything you need to know about being a phantom thief. Relax—you’re in good hands!

Morgana: *yawn* I didn’t get enough sleep…

Morgana: I couldn’t fall asleep at all last night. I just laid there with my eyes open…

Morgana: I like Yongen-Jaya; it’s a great place for a stroll.

Morgana: Is Shujin Academy the only thing in Aoyama?

Morgana: I was vegetating in front of the TV last night, and I have to say, there are some pretty decent shows on now.

-

Ann: The bakery had a sale yesterday and I ended up buying everything they had!

Ann: The Ferris wheel is a must for me at theme parks, every time. I love being able to just relax.

Ann: I have an upcoming shoot at a theme park, but what sucks is how I can’t go on any of the rides.

Ann: Last night I dreamt I was eating a chocolate bar, then all of a sudden, it got mad and started chasing me!

Ann: Every once in a while I have a dream where I get chased by a Shadow…

Ann: I’ve been sleeping really well since I started getting all this exercise.

Ann: I was up late watching TV last night, so I might be a little sleep deprived…

Ann: I tend to do my clothes shopping in Kichijoji—it’s fun looking through all the resale shops.

Ann: I hate when people ask me to say stuff in English just ‘cause I lived overseas.

Ann: It always bothers me when foreign movie subtitles leave stuff out or take too many liberties.

Ann: I was talking to my overseas friend the other day—her straightforward attitude was really refreshing!

Ann: I was talking to Shiho on the phone and before I knew it, three whole hours had passed!

Ann: Joker seems like he’d make a good cook, doesn’t he? I mean, he’s great with his knife and all…

Ann: It’s actually quite exhilarating to attack with a whip. I wonder why that is…

Ann: Whenever my foreign relatives come to Japan, they always rave about how much they love Japanese food!

Ann: Do you think there’s anything I can do about my outfit? I feel like I stand out too much in this…

Ann: Is there a difference between a whip and a grappling hook?

Ann: Ya know, Skull’s always been into skull designs and stuff.

Ann: Wouldn’t a grappling hook be awfully handy in the real world?

-

Yusuke: I wish to paint the world as only I see it. The best way to succeed at this is through practice.

Yusuke: It’s fun to walk around and inspect different temples and shrines. The architecture is always impressive.

Yusuke: If Shadows are sentient, do you think their being moved by a painting would invoke a change of heart?

Yusuke: There have been times where I was compelled to create three-dimensional art.

Yusuke: I’m quite curious about Mona’s Western-style sword…

Yusuke: I hear whips are quite difficult to use. Where did you learn how to wield one?

Yusuke: Joker using a grappling hook…. That would make for a picture-perfect composition.

Yusuke: Mona, what exactly do you have in those pouches?

Yusuke: Creating a piece of art is pointless unless I can convey the full essence of the subject.

Yusuke: Art museums stimulate my creativity like no other place—I wish I could live inside one.

Yusuke: Skull and I both use long melee weapons, but they’re total opposites of one another.

Yusuke: Why does my outfit have a tail? I don’t understand…

Yusuke: I considered growing my own bean sprouts, but it seems to be more expensive than buying them grown.

Yusuke: I once had a dream that I washed up on a deserted island. I painted as much as I pleased… So wonderful.

Yusuke: I may specialize in Japanese-style painting, but I’d like to learn some Western techniques as well.

Yusuke: That grappling hook is very useful. I should find a way to utilize one in my daily life.

Yusuke: The other day, I went into the mountains to gather vegetables so I could cut back on food expenses.

Yusuke: I tried to paint a landscape of the starry sky once, but it’s quite difficult to do so from within the city.

Yusuke: India ink isn’t my specialty, but I’ve been experimenting with it in some recent work, just for fun.

-

Makoto: I may have stopped being a doormat for adults, but people are still calling me a “teacher’s pet.”

Makoto: A phantom thief’s body is their most vital asset. We need to make sure we eat balanced, nutritious meals.

Makoto: Do you enjoy visiting theme parks? I’ve rarely been to one myself.

Makoto: Fox looks cooler using his katana than I had originally imagined.

Makoto: I had the weirdest dream… I was at school, but I was wearing my phantom thief outfit.

Makoto: Would anyone care to learn how to drive, while we’re here? This place seems as good as any for practice.

Makoto: I know it’s not very healthy, but I do enjoy eating ramen from time to time.

Makoto: Once I’ve graduated, I’m going to buy a motorcycle and go on a road trip.

Makoto: I’ve been working on my grades because I still want to attend college, despite being a phantom thief.

Makoto: I want to read a certain book, but it’s out of print. Where do you suppose I could find a copy?

Makoto: Maybe I’m just burned out, but waking up has grown awfully difficult lately.

Makoto: The grappling hook’s cable seems pretty strong, but it’s scary to think what could happen if it snapped.

Makoto: Once my sister brought home some sushi for me. It was indescribably good…

-

Futaba: I heard rhythm’s an important part of fighting, sooo… I started playing a rhythm game!

Futaba: There’s going to be an event tonight in the MMO I play. I can’t wait!

Futaba: This MMO I’m hooked on is really cool. Do you wanna play with me? Oh—it’s in English, though.

Futaba: I’m about to beat the game I’ve been playing. Wonder what I should play next?

Futaba: I’ve been going outside a lot more, so now I’m sleeping way better than I did when I was a shut-in.

Futaba: Guess what? I’m making a game called “Hungry Hungry Mona”!

Futaba: You know who’s a really good driver, is Sojiro. He can parallel park with his eyes closed!

Futaba: If you could shoot grappling hooks from your hands, you’d probably be able to get around just using those!

Futaba: Ya know, I’ve thought about workin’ out and fighting alongside you guys.

Futaba: You guys should try playing shooters! It could help you improve your gun skills.

Futaba: Last night I had a dream my hard drive failed… That was scary.

Futaba: Wouldn’t it be cool if you could mod the grappling hook so it was electrified?

Futaba: Sure, the internet’s convenient, but it��s not like it can do everything. Don’t overestimate its capabilities.

Futaba: I wonder if I’d be okay going to some place by myself if it wasn’t crowded. Inokashira Park seems nice.

Futaba: Yesterday Sojiro bought me my favorite instant yakisoba!

Futaba: Maybe I should get a gun too, just for self-defense… Nah, my hands need to be empty.

-

Haru: I found this cafe in Kichioji with phenomenal tea—would you care to try it sometime?

Haru: I ordered kusaya but they refused to make it—they said they couldn’t get the smell out of the kitchen.

Haru: I feel like I need to learn more about the world, but I’m not sure how to best go about it.

Haru: Recently, I’ve been finding rare delicacies rather enticing…

Haru: Even lately, I sometimes dream about doing phantom thief things with Mona.

Haru: If you’re having trouble getting yourself to relax, I recommend herbal tea.

Haru: Asakusa is a wonderful area—I love how it’s this blend of the old and the new.

Haru: Ever since I started high school I’ve been taking the train in the morning, but I’m still not used to it…

Haru: Queen, your mask looks like it’s made of iron. Doesn’t it get heavy?

Haru: Joker’s so acrobatic! He’s really got the hang of that grappling hook.

Haru: I don’t think I’ve gotten this much exercise since I was in ballet.

Haru: Let me know if you ever get a tear in your clothing—I’m good at sewing, so I could most likely fix it.

Haru: I dreamt that the vegetables I’d been growing all died… I was so sad.

Haru: Your weapon seems fun, Skull. Do you want to swap sometime?

Haru: Sometimes it’s impossible for me to fall asleep on days that we’ve been to Palaces, no matter how tired I am.

Haru: You know, before this, I’d never considered using an axe for anything other than chopping firewood…

Haru: My hands have gotten all calloused… I supposed it comes with the territory in gardening.

-

Akechi: I have no intention of changing my stance on matters, no matter what anyone may say.

Akechi: Pancakes... I don’t want to hear that word again for a long, long time.

Akechi: We don’t have much time left. Please do what you can to avoid getting sick.

Akechi: The enemies are stronger than ever. Don’t let your guard down.

Akechi: A world that panders to your every whim is so mundane. Where’s the thrill if there’s no competition?

Akechi: Do you prefer my previous outfit or this one? Moving around’s become much easier for me.

Akechi: This place is immense. If there weren’t train tracks everywhere, I’d bring my bike here.

Akechi: We’re working under the constraints of a time limit, so I’d appreciate it if you could be more efficient.

Akechi: If you’re looking for a way to train both your mind and your body, I highly recommend bouldering.

Akechi: You think I’m frightening when I fight? Well, I’m afraid you’re just going to have to accept it.

Akechi: I meant to tell you, regarding Shido… Thank you for keeping your promise.

Akechi: You may not like working with me, but I’m counting on your assistance until our goal is achieved.

Akechi: When we’re riding in the car like this, it’s easy to forget that we’re actually inside Mona.

Akechi: The Shadows here behave differently from the ones in the Palaces, don’t they?

Akechi: I’m getting a bit hungry. I should’ve eaten beforehand.

Akechi: I enjoy spending time in Kichijoji. It’s not very big, but there are plenty of trendy shops.

Akechi: Riding in the car may beat walking, but it doesn’t stop my legs from growing stiff and sore…

-

Sumire: I have a few different superstitions for good luck in my routines… They get sort of hard to drop.

Sumire: It was already hard for me to believe Palaces existed, but to think there’s such a massive one under Shibuya…

Sumire: It’s a bit cramped in here with this many people…

Sumire: I get stiff all over from just sitting in the car.

Sumire: Why is the one desert you get to eat during the week so delicious?

Sumire: A phantom thief outfit represents a person’s image of their rebellion, right?

Sumire: I wonder if I should try incorporating another sport into my gymnastics training.

Sumire: I wonder what I could use as inspiration for my performances…

Sumire: Swords are actually pretty hard to wield.

Sumire: Whenever I travel, I always end up buying some sort of good luck charm.

Sumire: Your outfits are all so unique. I can see coordinating them wasn’t a priority.

Sumire: This time of year, a heating pad’s an absolute must for keeping warm.

Sumire: Sometimes people will just walk up to me and ask me to show them a standing split.

Sumire: I’m in top shape today! Let’s keep going.

Sumire: Do you all stretch beforehand? You could pull a muscle if you don’t.

Sumire: It’s too bad gymnastics competitions aren’t on TV more often.

Sumire: Fighting makes for a pretty good workout, doesn’t it?

-

while I didn't transcribe responses, I did notice something a bit disappointing: neither Sumire nor Akechi seemed to have responses for anyone else. It's possible I missed one?? But not being able to remember any, they must not have many if they do have some. A bit odd.

[hood-ex]

I also have a question about writing bat-related fanfic! Whenever I think of a good plot, I always have a tough time building up the beginning because I have to create the initial conflict. And usually that conflict is some villain getting the upper hand (because I love that trope, sue me), but then comes the issue of how that happened in the first place, you know? Like, this one guy is going up against a bunch of highly skilled vigilantes. Got any tips for logicing it out?

The teacher is in!

Your Villain

First, let’s think about who your villain is going to be. We want to figure out who your villain is, what advantages they have, and how we can build a story around those aspects. 

Is your villain a member of Batman’s rogue gallery or is your villain someone new? If it’s someone we’re already familiar with (Joker, Clayface, Riddler) then you’ve already got an idea of what their strengths and weaknesses are. If it’s a villain you created, you get to choose their strengths and weaknesses. 

The villain’s goal

Knowing what the villain’s goal is will help you piece together scenes for your story. Think about what the villain’s ultimate goal is. Do they want to steal money? Do they want to be like the Joker and just cause senseless chaos? Do they want to produce drugs that can be weaponized? Is it something more personal like with Mr. Freeze where they want to help someone they love? Do they want to weaken Batman by killing one of his family members? Do they want to straight up kill Batman?

Once you have an idea of what you want your villain’s goal to be then you can think about what the villain already has/what the villain can do to achieve that goal.  

There are four things you can think about that will give your villain the upper hand. 

1. The villain’s powers and intellect. 

What advantage does the villain’s power/intellect give them over the vigilante? Riddler and Hugo Strange are extremely smart. Scarecrow has fear toxin. Joker has laughing gas. Clayface can regenerate and shapeshift. 

Even though the bats are smart, they are still vulnerable to these types of things. As the writer, you have control over how you want to disadvantage the vigilante. 

Let’s say the bats have been exposed to fear toxin. Okay, well, maybe Batman and Robin have fear toxin antidotes in their utility belts. But Nightwing? He doesn’t carry that kind of thing around with him. Also, maybe Scarecrow changed the dosage/effects of the toxin, so now the antidotes Batman and Robin have are useless or aren’t as effective. Maybe the antidotes are actually in the batmobile, but the batmobile is far away and the drugs are taking effect now. 

Like, yes, the bats are skilled and are prepared for many situations, but they’re still human. They don’t have supernatural reflexes. They aren’t bulletproof. They can’t predict every little trap that the villain has set out for them. Keep that kind of thing in mind, especially if you’re using a villain that you created. 

2. Using the setting to their advantage

Think about the place where the fight/confrontation takes place. What are some things about the place that the villain can use to their advantage? Are they near a river or the ocean? Maybe there’s a boat nearby that makes it easy for the villain to get away in. If the villain’s intention is to abduct a vigilante then they could ride away on the boat with the vigilante in tow before other batfam members show up to help. 

If the fight takes place in the middle of the city then maybe the villain is putting civilian’s lives in danger. Now the vigilante has lost track of the villain because they have to stop and help the civilians. Or maybe Batman has to choose between saving civilians or going after the villain who just abducted Robin. He chooses to help the civilians, so now the villain has successfully gotten away with Robin. 

3. The villain’s connections

Villains can use unexpected means to get the advantage over a vigilante. For example, in Tomasi’s Nightwing run, Two-Face has Nightwing shot with a bullet laced with fear toxin. Normally, you wouldn’t expect Two-Face to have fear toxin, right? That’s Scarecrow’s thing. But that doesn’t mean that Two-Face can’t use his connections to get some fear toxin for himself to use against the vigilante.

Your own villain can do something similar. If your villain isn’t a major player from Batman’s rogue gallery then maybe they can steal a weapon or a toxin that will help them. Maybe they’re super smart and can create their own toxin that other villains would find valuable to have. They could then work together to create an even more potent toxin. Maybe your villain teams up with another villain, and while the other villain creates a distraction, your villain comes in and attacks the vigilante. 

4. Blackmail 

Villains can use the vigilante’s loved ones or civilians against them. This can make the vigilante do things they normally wouldn’t or it can make them give themselves up to the villain. 

Building Around the Villain

Okay, so how can we take all that ^ information and build up to the conflict?

First, figure out which characters you’re going to want to go against the villain. Do you want just one person? A few members of the batfam? All of the batfam? 

Let’s create a hypothetical situation and say that we want a story that starts off with Nightwing as our protagonist. Our setting is in Bludhaven. Dick is walking down the street and talking to Tim on the phone. They’re making plans for Tim to come stay with Dick in Bludhaven for a few days. 

Great. We now know that at least Dick and Tim are going to be involved in the story so far. 

Let’s say the villain of this story is a scientist named Patty Thompson. She has absolutely no powers, but she’s extremely intelligent. She knows that Dick is Nightwing because she lives across from Dick’s apartment complex and once saw him go through his apartment window as Nightwing. She did some investigating about the residents in his apartment complex and put the pieces together. 

Now why is Patty interested enough in Nightwing to go through those lengths to figure out his identity? It’s because she’s managed to create a fear toxin replica that not only copies the effects of fear toxin but also causes temporary paralysis. She intends to use this toxin on Dick. 

Why? Well, let’s think back to our villain’s motivation. Because Patty is a scientist, she needs a lot of money to fund all of her research, equipment, and experiments. She decides she will capture Nightwing and sell him to the highest bidder so that she can get an insane amount of money for her funds. 

Nightwing is far more skilled in physical combat than Patty is, so what are Patty’s advantages over Nightwing? 1. She knows he’s Dick Grayson. This means she can attack him unexpectedly when he’s not Nightwing. She can also blackmail him into coming to a specific location or use one of his loved ones against him. 2. She has a fear-paralysis toxin that Dick doesn’t have an antidote for. Plus, the toxin is fast-acting and before Dick can try to run away, he’ll be paralyzed. 

So far we have our characters, setting, and we know how the villain is going to get the upper hand over Dick. All that comes next is putting all the pieces together to get to the point of the initial conflict. 

Let’s say that Patty wants to nab Dick when he’s dressed in his Nightwing gear so that bidders will know he’s the real Nightwing. She creates a setup for Nightwing that draws him to her (either by pretending she needs help or creating an explosion.) She has the fear-paralysis toxin in gas form. As soon as Nightwing appears or is in a more vulnerable position, she sprays him with the gas. He becomes paralyzed and Patty drags him off. 

Meanwhile, Tim (remember how I laid it out for him to conveniently show up around this time) arrives in Bludhaven to hang out with Dick as planned. After not finding Dick anywhere, he realizes that something happened to him. That’s the cue for him to call in Bruce and to get other batfam members involved. And that’s how Dick eventually gets saved by his family. 

So there we have it. I hope that scenario and the information about the villains can help you think about ways to create the buildup of the conflict in your story!

[bigskydreaming]

IGN’s recent Bat-focused article (Batman: What Does Red Hood Need to Do to Get A Good Story?) praises fanfic writers and also is an amazing critique of how stagnant Jason has become under recent DC management and I’m so surprised at how good it is and how well thought out the solutions were

Hmmm. I just looked it up and I mean, I’m not trying to start anything but I both agree and disagree? Like, it makes some points for sure, I mean, its not like its saying things that I haven’t said a thousand times about Dick, like.....these characters need to be allowed access to a full range of emotions, both good and bad, in order to be fully fleshed out, so I mean yes on that premise alone I absolutely agree this is as true for Jason as it is for Dick or anyone else.

Tbh my only real criticism of the piece is it thinks Jason exists in a particular predicament the other characters aren’t in as well. And that I just don’t agree with, like they kinda lost me a bit with their first paragraph:

His complexities and moral ambiguity make him a compelling and distinct character among his more strait-laced Robin-brothers. Sadly, the character has seen little growth since his rage-filled reintroduction into comics. The ‘former Robin becomes a villain’ idea was enough for DC to coast on for a while but since rejoining the heroes, Red Hood has done little else.

First off, this may just be me being pedantic but I’m ALWAYS going to go fetch a grain of salt before continuing reading anything that pits Jason against his brothers in a war of his moral ambiguity against their strait-lacedness. Because to me, that’s just a fundamentally shallow view of the Batfam that caters to the idea that they each must have their own distinct niche in order to be fully viable individual characters, when a) no, and b) they don’t fit neatly into the niches people keep trying to slot them into and it never ends well for anybody. 

Like Jason is morally ambiguous in a lot of ways too, yes, but umm, even if we assume that the writer is only speaking of Dick, Tim and Damian, we’re talking a guy who beat the Joker to death with his bare hands and has ten assassins and mercenaries on his speed dial and who co-led the Outsiders, a guy who was deeply immersed in weighing the pros and cons of getting revenge for his father by getting Captain Boomerang killed and is forever being DMed by Ra’s because he’s convinced he can get Tim to say He Has Some Points Actually, and the kid who was an assassin with a body count by age ten and who has struggled constantly ever since his debut to define his OWN personal view of morality that is not wholly predicated on what he was taught by any single individual.

And this is a big part of where I part ways with the article, because I think it falls into the same trap that a lot of people do by believing fanfic is inherently better by doing the same thing from just a different angle. Fanfic CAN be better than the canon, I absolutely believe that, I believe it is at times, but to do so, it has to like, BE BETTER. It has to do things differently, and not just paint a slightly different veneer over the same things. Like, pedantic though it might be, I outlined the above issue because its a mode of thinking the canon absolutely falls into again and again, and just like the writer of that article themselves, like....I think fandom as a whole is no different? 

Like, yes there are great stories about Jason out there, some writers have done great and interesting things with him, but that doesn’t mean there’s not a huge trend in fandom of doing the exact same thing I see here.....which is honestly a huge part of the exact same problem the article is decrying canon for......LIMITING Jason (and all the Batfam) by reducing them and their stories to finite niches as a way of spotlighting them as different from their siblings.....except they’re not that different! And that’s okay! They don’t have to be! Families can have lots in common, families DO have lots in common due to like.....shared variables during their formative years. 

I mean Jason was heavily influenced by environmental factors in how and where he grew up before he ever met Batman, but like the article goes into itself, he was no less influenced by Bruce himself as his father figure.....which is something he absolutely has in common with his siblings, thus its not hard at all to see how his siblings could have similar complexities and moral struggles that stem from trying to reconcile Bruce’s influence with the many other things and people that have influenced their childhoods.

And similarly, while the article is dead-on about Jason’s stagnancy....this is something that applies in equal measure to the rest of his family, because they’re all facing the same issues in terms of how DC views and utilizes them, and fandom as much as it likes to condemn DC for doing just that....frequently does the same thing. Like, Jason’s stuck in canon, absolutely......but Dick keeps being popped out into his own microcosm to experience a couple years of stories that essentially turn him into completely different characters isolated from every communal part of his character’s history, and then ERASE everything that’s happened at the end of each of these stories and reset him to square one.....and that’s just a different kind of stagnancy that again, still never allows for actual character progression or development. Tim has LITERALLY been regressed back to Robin, like a hard reset that’s its own kind of stagnancy and Damian has had years of character development upended just to kick him back to where he started, effectively strip away all the connections he’s developed at least in any meaningful way, etc.....and the same holds true for Babs and Cass and Steph and even Bruce himself IMO, in a lot of ways.

Its absolutely a problem, but its a problem that extends far beyond just Jason even if he is a great example of it. And its also a problem that extends into fic itself, and that’s why I don’t agree with a lot of the conclusions that article draws beyond just the fundamental “these characters need to be allowed access to a full range of emotions.”

Yes. That. That right there, THAT I think is crucial, but I think that writer needed to widen the scope a little to take in the full impact of what that actually MEANS for the characters....so as to not accidentally repeat the same problem they’re being critical of by essentially arguing for a full range of emotions for Jason....while still defining or viewing Jason through a finite lens of “the more morally ambiguous Bat character, at least as compared to his brothers.”

Because its that last part that’s so detrimental, because it seems like such a little thing at first, until you realize that essentially its just putting a ceiling, a cap on how far those full ranges of emotions can be expressed. Like the problem with Dick Grayson in canon and fanon is NOT that he can’t be written with a full range of emotions.....its that his character absolutely can encompass a wide range of opinions and viewpoints and emotional stances from “I don’t believe in killing as a first option” to “I absolutely can, will, and have beaten a damn clown to death for joking about murdering my brother”.....and he can still walk away as Dick Grayson after expressing both those things, because his character is big enough to include them both. HE’S not limited as a character, its canon writers and fandom writers that both heap artificial limitations of their OWN on him, say that his character is so defined in such a specific way that there’s no way for the latter expression of his character to actually be IN character.....and the fatal flaw here is fully fleshed out characters are never just one thing. They don’t fit in niches anymore than people do, and notice the problems we all run into when we try and pigeon hole people as being just one thing, like humans can’t be contradictory or act against their own self-interest or be hypocritical or evolve or even regress past prior viewpoints....basically, any time you try and sum up a human being in one line, no matter how accurate that description is, there’s still SOME things that are going to be left out of that picture. 

Now, these things don’t always have to matter that much, like if I look at a serial killer and say that’s a serial killer, like, I might be leaving out of the picture that once he helped an old lady across the street and didn’t kill her and he doesn’t even know why, and I for one, simply do not care that I leave that out of the picture. Its irrelevant to the big picture for me. I can acknowledge that it adds a smidgen of nuance to that particular picture and then go yeah but also I don’t care, nuance denied.

But in terms of fictional characters, these things that get left in the discard pile when we try and sum up characters as just one thing, like, they can be hugely significant, because characters unlike real people, are simply WHAT WE MAKE OF THEM. That stuff that’s been left out of the big picture look at that character because its stuff most people to DEFINE what that character looks like have deemed irrelevant....its still there, and still perfectly relevant for anyone who wants to pick that stuff up and make something of it, use it to change the overall picture or even just point to ways and places that picture can absolutely encompass and include these other elements and STILL fundamentally be that same picture, that same character.

And this isn’t to say that characters can never be written out of character, its to say that usually IMO what ACTUALLY makes the difference between something being out of character and something just being an unexpected but still valid character choice is just.....how these things are executed. The latter is when writers make the effort to JUSTIFY their character choice, to sell audiences on why and how this is absolutely something this character would do, to take them on a journey of what led the character to making this choice and let them see how those steps actually line up, that’s an actual journey that character might take. The former is when writers just don’t bother and are just like, well here’s a thing that character did, and you know it was in character because well that’s the character and that’s what I wrote them doing lol, what more do you want. No. Yawn. Next.

But the trick is if you’re going to try and make a character a SPECTRUM of emotions and choices rather than just a same datapoint recurring over and over again endlessly, a literal sticking point that never advances, never progresses, never changes......you have to actually give that character free range to utilize that spectrum of emotions and choices.....not just confine them to accessing all those possibilities but ONLY within a narrowly defined niche that is its own kind of limitation.

A character can START from a logline, absolutely. Can BEGIN in a narrative niche as a way to INTRODUCE them as seemingly different from their surroundings or their peers when they do not yet have the backstory, the evidence of past stories and character choices readers can use to interpret their actions or guess their choices.....but narrative niches, IMO, are meant to have a shelf life, an expiration date. They’re a seed for characters to grow FROM, to grow PAST, not return to over and over again.....because that’s when a niche just becomes another house that stagnancy built.

Anyway, thanks for the thoughts and the article mention.....it was an interesting exploration of thoughts for me even if I didn’t ultimately agree with a lot of what was already said....still a worthwhile read though I think and I mean hey, its cool if you still agree with it more even if I don’t, lol. This is just my take.

[nightcoremoon]

so for the first time I saw batman: the killing joke.

...

it was okay I guess. but massively overrated. I expected some fucking masterpiece of cinema but instead it was just two unrelated short films that were more style and flash than substance.

so first off, barbara's storyline was mediocre. franz wasn't a compelling villain; just a creep, and a trust fund brat. oh wow he's a mafia kid who stole his family's fortune by hacking. if it was the falcone family I'd have cared more but it wasn't so it's just some faceless deathfodder rando. who gives a shit. the whole situation was just a vehicle to shove batman's dick into babs. which kinda fucks over bruce's character here and judging by the timeline kinda makes him a bit of a groomer, yikes. bruce and gordon have known each other since bruce was a young boy and we know that bruce is way older than babs so yeah bruce totally knew her from birth until present day, he literally utilized an active power dynamic to police her crimefighting activities, and he should have fucking known better and stopped her when she kissed him because it would (and did) compromise their professional dynamic, but hey, batdick. and at least barbara recognized that she was behaving emotionally rather than logically when it came to bruce and paris and took the high road out. that would be a serviceable standalone episode to write her on a bus in a serialization but THIS IS A MOVIE. so for a waste of an already short runtime it's like having an appetizer before your meal but instead of something like a crab cake before stuffed flounder, you get greasy onion petals that are more fried batter than onion before getting a well done cheeseburger that's just a glorified hockey puck on a sponge with a kraft single on top. the animation and vocal delivery were excellent of course, not gonna disparage that aspect, so it was well made, but the writing was just not very good. a polished turd. quantic dream must have developed it then because it feels like I watched a david cage production.

so in a 78 minute movie, five of which were the credits, we had a half hour Disney/Pixar short except those bring joy and this brought boring. also there were a lot of shots of her ass tits and underwear that were obnoxiously male-gazey and there was a token gay for the sole purpose of dangling a carrot on a stick for the queers. look kids, warner brothers and dc comics cares about the lgbts! give us money! a waste of time before the real reason why anyone came to see the movie that literally only exists to pad out the runtime to make it a feature length (even though paying a full ticket would've been a total ripoff because, again, IT WAS ONLY 78. even 9 was 81 minutes long and that had an amazing storyline so I forgave it, but 78 minutes? ugh.

also, GOTHAM RAGE??? CRINGE. SO CRINGE.

alright now for the joker segment.

*ahem*

what the fuck? that sucked! *throws tomato*

mark hamill and the joker's lines and the art and the cinematography and the choreography was all good and the plot was cohesive. I get it.

but holy shit was the writing weak as fuck.

okay so some rando breaks the J-ster out of Arkham (already unlikely but ugh whatever), he didn't turn a trick or recruit or anything, he just went to purchase a carnival. or, steal one. but wait, he DID recruit, but he went to get all of the stereotypical Circus Freak™ stereotypes. little people, fat lady, bearded lady, wolf man, strongman, diaper man (wait, what?), and the two headed woman. I guess if you don't really think about why all of them were super readily available in the outskirts between arkham and gotham [i just realized they both end with -am] then it makes enough sense. and then literally right after that HE RECRUITS SOME GUYS TO HELP HIM KIDNAP GORDON. and then strips and photographs barbara. um. ew. you can tell the writer and director were men. Alan Moore is constantly molesting women in his comics and this one trick pony should be put down already. but whatever. the plot is weak and it only gets saved by the flashback sequences.

oh.

oh no.

they're not that great.

he's a failed unfunny comedian who just wants some money to move his wife to a better house so he turns to thievery with the mob. OR YOU COULD JUST STOP GOING TO THE BAR AND BLOWING IT ALL ON BOOZE. I mean the cops knew where to find him after all so clearly he's a repeat customer (or moore is a bad plot writer who relies on convenience and shut the fuck up and don't critically analyze it). alright so he gets wrapped up in the mob to perform a heist on a playing card factory. GET IT, BECAUSE HE'S THE JOKER??? and he uses the moniker of the red hood to retain his anonymity. I expected the mobsters to be working for francisco but no the paris storyline was only cooked up screenplay for passing the runtime so why would they do something clever and interesting and make the film cohesive? that'd be really stupid to make the movie feel more like one movie and not two short films. at least when grindhouse & planet terror did it they advertised themselves as an anthology film. whatever. he falls in the vat of acid which melts the red hood to his face and I gotta say that's actually a pretty good idea to get his face white and his hair green and his lips red. I like that part. oh wait I forgot about the most important part! his wife gets shoved in the refrigerator. OH WOW THAT'S JUST SO COMPELLING AND ORIGINAL, TOTALLY NOT SOMETHING THAT ALREADY HAPPENED TO GREEN LANTERN. TWICE. although she wasn't literally shoved into a literal refrigerator like alex was. rip in frozen pieces you absolute legend of a trope namer. alright, so... so the joker is sad because his wife died. you know, the wife we saw for two minutes and knew the moment we saw her drenched in sepia she was gonna die. and she died offscreen. kyle's gf died and he was fine. gordon's wife died and he was fine. batman's parents both died and he was fine. oh boo hoo someone I love died! fuck off. I am so goddamn sick of people trying to justify their evil with "I was sad once". it's a stupid trope and it's not compelling. the only valid version is doctor doofenshmirtz' evil(er) version in the PF movie because it's hilarious that it's because of a toy train because that's the emotional depth that fridgewomen is treated with in all of these storylines. but at least batman said so. oh yeah, I almost totally forgot, batman's in this movie.

batman punches people and nonlethally takes them out. by suffocating them and letting them get stabbed and throwing them into pits of spikes and HEY WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND! okay let's just ignore that bit and hope that the little people squeezed between the gaps in the spikes and the strongman could breathe in the face mask and the two headed women had KO gas and the fat lady was fat enough that the knives only stabbed her cellulite. it wouldn't be the biggest reach one would have to make in watching this fucking disaster of a plot mess.

now I did like that it was actually batman, and by that I mean he gave a shit about the insane because he recognizes that mental illness is not a cause of dangerous or criminal behavior, just a potential exacerbating factor if it wasn't treated. yeah he brutalized mobsters and crime lords but they were mostly in self defense while gathering intel. he politely asked sal maroni and the sex workers for information and they gave it to him without violence- he manhandled maroni but only after he reached into his pocket for a cigar which could've been a gun. also batman says sex work should be decriminalized if only by not ratting them out to the cops. he was a genuinely good person in the second half of the movie. too bad it was ruined by the shitty first half that made him a borderline groomer.

joker's song was... bad. mark hamill performed his ass off but the song wasn't that good. it just tried to be willy wonka if he was a voyeuristic monster. oh yeah have the only girl character be paralyzed stripped and photographed only to give her father ManPain™. again... the fuck? joker and batman were both gross but, again. male writers. if it was a one-off I could drop a thermian argument because, alright one and done makes sense, especially 1988 standards. but it saturated and soured the entire goddamn movie because of abhorrent pacing decisions. so you're goddamn right I'm gonna bring it up twice! joker was a creep, his plan was dumb, nolan and burton and lord/miller and even ayer had better motivations. YES I AM SAYING THAT JARED LETO'S JOKER HAD BETTER WRITING THAN MARK HAMILL'S JOKER. not nearly to the level of ledger nicholson or galifanakis but hamill didn't have a lot to work with here and I maintain that his performance was amazing; honestly I like his the best out of all of them but just... not here. but I think I can cut some slack to firelord ozai and luke skywalker even if he just phoned it in here which he didn't. writing was just weak. and that's all there is to it. don't anon me and threaten to remove my bones ok?

alright so batman and joker fought and joker got the upper hand and was gonna kill him but it was a prop gun. haha. they had a heart to heart and batman tells joker that he wants to help him get better, even after joker killed robin and molested barbara and traumatized gordon and did countless other travesties, he still said he would help. but joker said no, and told a joke that was good enough to make batman laugh. and then the credits rolled.

...

what a completely pointless and empty ending. oh it's deep and meaningful and poignant? ok sure, I guess, movie, but you didn't earn that. shyamalan did the same thing a dozen times. that doesn't make him any less of a shit writer.

I can understand the concept of batman laughing at joker's joke, humanizing him.

I get it. I see what they tried to do. I respect it.

but this movie was massively overhyped and overrated and I expected it to be so much better than it was. but overall to me it was just another batman cartoon to throw on top of the pile. maybe it was influential to graphic novels. maybe it shaped batman into what he is today. it published right as tim burton's movie and I can respect its place in the pantheon of comic history. but sometimes things that are classic...

aren't that great.

citizen kane, casablanca, the maltese falcon, the treasure of the sierra madre, gone with the wind, singing in the rain, all of them are classic and legendary pieces of art. but they're just not that good, interesting, appealing, watchable, or FUN. they were good at the time- I mean come on we all know them today- but on going back you'd have to really appreciate the finer details to still love the movies today. and this belongs there, in the vault, to be appreciated from afar. influential if dated.

but god am I still disappointed nonetheless.

TL;DR

it was just okay. had some good ideas, had some really bad ideas, had some ugly stuff. overall mediocre. first half 5/10, second half 7/10, overall 6/10.

[mister-maiden]

Parasite (2019): The Distinction of Perfection

No film from 2019 surprised me as much as Parasite did. 

I took interest in the film after I heard of its rumors. Created by South Korean filmmaker Bong Joon-Ho, creator of some of my favorite films such as Snowpiercer, Mother, and the Host, Parasite stands to be one of the greatest films of 2019 alongside Joker for showing what understanding the utilization of basic film  technique looks like, and refining it to perfection.

I shall only be writing about the elements of what was seen rather than the plot for spoilers sake. I wouldn’t want a single one of you to be spoiled of viewing such a masterpiece, so I will attempt to present vague samples of how the elements are used rather than specific moments at first. This shall change towards the end where I shall list a *SPOILER WARNING* line. You have been warned. So! Let’s get to it. 

*****************************************PARASITE********************************************

Created by Bong Joon-Ho, Parasite (2019) is about a low income family, the Kims, slowly infiltrating the lives of a wealthier family, the Parks, by taking over as staff through whatever means necessary.  While the story is expertly crafted to give a seamless story to the audience, its visual elements are what excited me to no end. Through its usage of the most basic elements of framing such as lines, lighting, and camera angle, Parasite was able to utilize film as its medium to tell a story completely through visuals.

In other films, typically there is some thought placed in the set and design of each shot. Where should this pencil go? Is this starbucks cup in the way of our medieval series? While there are some filmmakers who briefly touch on this, some such as Wes Anderson has made their own vision of how film should be. For instance, when you are watching a Wes Anderson film, you will know exactly who made it because of his signature visual elements like the ultra wide shot, color, and costume design. All of these choices are entirely deliberate to separate itself from other films and filmmakers. What makes Parasite so great is its attention to the most basic of these elements. Rather than choosing elements that would have surely made it stick out like color and costumes, Bong Joon-Ho chose to harness the most basic of components such as lines.

Lines are used to create boundaries between objects, form objects into groups, and more. In the visual space, lines can be produced from just about anything like corners, cracks, and anything that can place an interruption between two objects. In Parasite, the line is used to separate the families before and after the families collide to contrast their lifestyles, wealth, and more. This is to use film to its full extent as the best visual storytelling medium. In full control of everything that happens on screen, Bong Joon-Ho has each family separated in shots by lines consistently in the first half by harsh lines that van be easy to point out, and then he switches to vague, difficult to see lines in the second half. Instead of constantly using the same type of lines, he creates the sense of slow invasion and the idea that no matter what the Kim family does, they will never be in the same light nor grouping as the Parks. This is further explored through the story in several instances such as smell, language, and manners; however, this is not a review of the content of the film, rather the visual stimuli, so I will touch on this at a later time. 

Through the usage of the most basic of shapes, Parasite continually presented the struggle of non-belonging, difference, and invasion. With lines being placed in strategic areas to contrast workers with the higher class, they also show the slow infestation of what was happening. Solid lines which were placed in visual form became boundaries. There are even several times when Mr. Park speaks about “the line” and when someone crosses it. In my opinion, the visual line is the perfect representation of this line that Park talks about.

It brings a certain level of class difference to the world around the families, with the Parks being used to this large house and room, the Kims have forever made their home in insect covered filth due to unfortunate circumstances and poor financial choices. The visual invades the story itself by displaying how different these two families are and contrasting the two using a simple element of visual art. This family who has been in the limelight for as long as we know has had this type of life forever, acclimating to the manners, items, and personality that comes with it while the Kims have never seen such behavior to the point that Mr. Kim became surprised the Park family was so kind even though they were rich. This type of alienation comes from the lack of standing in another's’ shoes. Bong Joon-Ho not only formed this paradigm through his usage of dialogue and actors. He brought it into the environment itself, making the line its own character as a silent antagonist that follows the Kims. Another element which plays into the storytelling is the lighting. 

While living in their home, the Kims are lit with drab lighting which forces the home and environment to seem dark yet natural, representing the Kims perfectly. Their home is in a hit of disarray yet they continue to live their lives through it all. There is also a certain tinge of green which stays with the family which separates them even further from the Parks. In comparison, the Park’s home is filled with a gorgeous golden light which peers from every corner of their home. Be it from the ceiling lights to the small shelves on the wall. This envelops everything in frame to create a golden shade over everything, representing the mass amount of wealth and elevation of their lifestyle. Compared to their drab, green tint, the Parks is something entirely else to behold akin to that of a dream which can never be grasped. 

Even the lighting outside is used for storytelling. For instance, light is used in many cases to show the presence of intelligence, malevolence, or progression in comparison to darkness being this sickly, dirty element. As such, the Kims step out of the darkness of their dirty hidey hole to dream in the majestic gold of this beautiful environment...much like that of a cockroach. 

Insects, in this case a cockroach, generally reside in darker areas. This is explored heavily through how the family acts when the lights are on and off. The Kim family hides themselves to put on the facade of a group of golden employees all the while constraining their parasitic nature until they can leach more from the family. In each scene the Kim family is inside the house without the Parks, the lighting is darker.to show that they will never escape what they are and what they are doing. This existential circumstance is being entirely interpreted by a few lights and the lack of. There is even a scene where the Kim family panics and scatters as the lights slowly come back on. Just like a cockroach as shown by a direct representation in the film (you’ll know it when you see it). 

On the topic of insects, they can generally be found in low, slightly difficult to reach places. Small corners, constricted spaces, and at low elevations. To further the visual story, Bong Joon-Ho focused on refining elevation and camera angle as a further way to emphasize the Kim family behaving like Parasites. This is a continual element in the film that is explored through other characters.

Every time the Kims seem to rise physically in frame, the lights are brighter. The same vice versa as when the Kims go back home, the lights are dark, drab, and disgusting. I believe this is to continually group the families and continue this notion of how a bug can only be a bug while opening a discussion about the class solidarity of South Korea. Then again, this whole film is an entire discussion of classes in any economic system. 

This angle of elevation does not simply mean a direction for either family. It represents the gradual increase of class and difference that separates one another. There’s a reason we use phrases such as downwards spiral and climbing up the work ladder. We have vaguely identified as up to be better and down to be failure. All from things such as groveling to jumping for victory. This is by far the least used visual element in comparison to lighting and lines, but it was too prominent to not mention as there are entire scenes dedicating to visually telling the story of these families only using the shots of rising and falling. 

Visually, Parasite is one of the best films of 2019. There are few films which are able to tell an entire story so perfectly through the refinement of such basic visual elements. This is where it all comes together though. Even though all of these elements are different to each family, they are present within each.

It concretes the feeling of class solidarity because it shows that both families have each element. From the bluntest of lines to the brightest of lights, these elements are constantly in life of the Kim family and forever holds a boundary that near invisibly separates them as the insects, and the Park family as, well, more. It’s this solidarity that sparks the question of if any of these boundaries, if any of these visual ques and verbal manners even mean anything and if the Kim family ever even had a chance in the first place. 

I absolutely urge you to watch this film, not simply because it is good. It is the perfect example of what distinction by perfection is. Work on an element long enough and it will come to be the very thing you are known by. As Bruce Lee said: I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.”

********************************SPOILERS AND MOVIE TALK******************

There are so many moments in this film that scream amazing at me. First, I’d like to take a moment to analyze scenes involving lines. Then I will look to lighting, then to elevation. Here I will be giving examples of the scenes I remember the most fondly. 

In this scene, the sister of the Kim family and the mother of the Park family are conversing about the young boy from the Park Family. Poising herself as someone from art school specializing in “art therapy”, Jessica (Kim daughter) is able to convince the mother of her talents by controlling the quite rowdy child. What I want to draw attention to is the lighting in the back, this very faint light coming from the basement in the form of three bright lights.

From the beginning of the conversation, Jessica and Mrs. Park are seated on the same side of the table sitting side by side. The entire time, Mrs. Park stays on the left side of the lights while Jessica stays on the right, meanwhile the Maid slowly moves to Mrs. Park’s side and slightly obscures the line. In my opinion, this is a way to represent that the maid was in a similar position to the Kim family, and had already infiltrated the Park’s sanctum. It was something quite small, but I don’t believe it was not on purpose because of what happens next. 

As the conversation goes on, the lights suddenly disappear. Before, the line was vague at best because of how blurred the lights were, so it seems this was a “weak barrier” so to speak. This is to represent the infiltration of Jessica into the Park family. Jessica reaffirmed herself as knowing Psychology and Art Therapy. As soon as she said this, the barrier was put down since she reminded Mrs. Park of her credibility/Ethos. As the line is gone, the conversation is suddenly controlled by Jessica as she begins to ask the questions. 

The camera then does a sudden pan to capture an over the shoulder shot of Mrs. Park listening to Jessica. This right here is the visual representation of Jessica taking hold of the barrier and destroying it, as we never see that line in this scene again. The camera stays with Jessica showing how dominant she is in control as opposed to the “simple” Mrs. Park simply listening to this nonsense Jessica is spouting. 

In this scene, only two lines were used to show boundaries, and in two minutes those boundaries were turned off, or atleast dampened by Jessica because of her attention to detail and acting. The visual boundary of lights were destroyed through her credibility while the pan of the mother got rid of the line created by Jessica’s hair which represented both a loss of power, and the idea that this question may not have ended well if Jessica had not proven her credentials first. For my next example, I will be using the conversation between Mr. Kim and Mr. Park in their car. This is when Mr. Kim comments on Mr. Park’s wife for the first time about how Park must love her. 

In this scene, Mr. Park is complaining about his wife and her lack of skill in housework. Mr. Kim then adds the comment, “You love her, right?” 

The distinction between these two characters is carried out between an invisible line between the front and the backseat that the camera constantly balances on. Every time a character speaks, the camera cuts to them rather than panning as to show a constant flow of conversation. So far everything seems completely okay until it gets to this one comment.

The camera, rather than cut out, pans on a swivel and looks to Mr. Park. This was a direct difference than the previous cuts because it was an invasion of privacy and a crossing of that line that shouldn’t be crossed. As I stated before, Jessica was okay with crossing this line because she easily demolished the line that stopped her from asking those type of questions. For instance, I doubt the interview would have gone well if she had said she was from a culinary school. In this scene, in no place does Mr. Kim get the chance to destroy any of these lines, and he rushed in to capitalize either on any weaknesses in the family, or in some way to feel good about his own marriage which seemed fine. 

With the sudden pan came the annoyed expression of Mr. Park as Kim obviously crossed a line that shouldn’t be touched. There was no need for a driver to talk to his employer about relationships in comparison to the art therapist talking to a mother about her child’s...art therapy. 

This was the best example of Mr. Kim crossing the line visually because the camera only pans like this in precise moments. Why would Bong Joon-Ho pick this moment to add a random pan? It was to disorient audiences since it was such a change in visuals and a hard hitting question. While this is one of my favorite examples of the line being crossed, here is an example of the line being ever present in the inner turmoil of the Kim family’s son, Kevin.

As seen in many scenes of Kevin, he is quite philosophical with how he views things. From tests to giant rocks, Kevin believes many elements of his life can be seen as metaphorical. It is this scene that hits hardest in this regard, and it can all be explained through a simple explanation of the line in this scene.

This is Kevin staring out into the courtyard at all the upper class preparing for the party. Some are chopping wood with a single arm while others are tuning their instruments. Many of the activities can be seen as “upper class” since they have the time to practice as well as the activities being more elegant rather than horsing around. This is paired with a bright light which is cast on them from above to make them seem even more angelic. While he looks, a pale reflection of him is casted on the window above...yet he is separated from himself by the line this time under the stress of heavy inner turmoil.

The line which previously separated the Kim family from the Park’s is now creating a metaphorical barrier of who Kevin is and how he should act. His entire arc in the film has been finding out who he was while also knowing what he was doing was a complete lie and fabricated. Everything of what he has been doing has been fake and meant nothing. From the tutoring to the party. The reflection of Kevin is the Kevin that was perfect and went to University, while the pale reality was he is nothing like any of these people. He knows he is separated, and he can’t change it. There is even a faint golden light in his reflection to show how it was all fake. meanwhile in his real appearance not a single shed of golden light is on him. Only faint shades of it as he was slowly coming to reality...And the line showed it all in a single visual as not only acting as a physical barrier of glass. It acted as a metaphorical barrier of disorder.

There is one scene with a line I’d like to discuss that sort of envisioned the story as a whole. This scene is while the Kim family are taking in the pleasures of the Park household but must hide underneath the table.

In this scene, when the Parks sit down at the couch and the Kims hid under the table, a slow pan occurs with the camera slowly lowering itself to show the situation underneath the table. The line here is the table, and it is the only pan shot in this scene. 

This is without a doubt the perfect representation of the film through its usage of visual alone. For one, the Kim family are seen having to lay in their own filth in the darkness similar to their starting point in the film while the Parks get to lounge. These two lives are divided by a single line which seems impossible to cross. The Kims must stick to their cramped, disgusting space while the Parks are able to lounge and roam their large space without a care in the world. They don’t need to lift a finger because their employees had already done everything. 

While under the line, Mr. Park talks about Mr. Kim’s smell because it crossed the line in the car. It was even crossing this line made by the table by him even smelling it in the first place. In my opinion, I believe this line represents so much more. It’s the lack of understanding of one another, the differences between these groups. The Parks have never had to lift a finger so they can’t imagine the lives the Kims lead and vice versa. Neither can fully understand the other because of this *line* this...separation of the two entities that can never be completely overcome and thrown away. Neither understand why or how the other does what they do and it will remain just as that. 

Next I will be using an example of lighting use that is very simple but 100% effective at its storytelling. Refined to a tip, Bong Joon-Ho uses the lighting in this scene to tell the tale of Kevin’s step into the wealthy life of the Park’s.

(Not a good picture, but couldn’t find one)

In this scene, Kevin talks to his father about his fake university document being made early as he will go to University when he gets the money. He then steps out of his home of shadows and into the light of the streets as he makes his way upwards towards the Park House.

A scene that could easily be looked over. This whole time Kevin has been in this dank house but had been given the opportunity to go into the light. It showed that he was making his first steps into a world entirely unknown to him. I don’t have much else to say, but the scene was grand. 

For an example of elevation, I don’t want to just post lots of scenes of them going up and down so I will just talk about them.

In general, there are 6 directions you can take when it comes to cameras. Up, down, left, right, closer, farther. You can argue diagonal directions are different but I digress. In all scenes showing the trips to the Park’s home, it is always filled with bright light. Anyone walking upwards in this city will be blinded as the sun always seems to shine on those moving upwards. It is almost like the environment itself is a character and is representing what is happening. Then, the one time the KIm family must fall down from their lovely home they infested, the environment is dark, gloomy, and wet. 

All and all, the usage of elevation was very simple, yet used so much that it was refined perfectly to represent exactly what it set out to show - the difference between the families. 

I feel as though I could continue on about these three aspects, but I have grown sorta tired of writing this one. Parasite is an amazing film and I truly do hope you see it. It would be an absolute waste to skip out on a film like this.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Roman Sionis

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Birds of Prey is a fun, silly movie. So you’d expect a fun, silly villain for such a film, right? Well, we sort of get that… but this is an R-rated fun, silly movie, so the villain is going to cuss a lot and peel people’s faces off and be a raging psychopathic manchild. Roman Sionis, everybody!

Good old Roman Sionis, known to comic fans as Black Mask (he isn’t ever called that by anyone except Harley during his introduction, and he doesn’t even wear his mask until the end), is just an absolute raging lunatic. He gets mad at the drop of a hat, is creepily posessive of Dinah Lance, has a very close relationship with his murderous second-in-command Zsasz, and is just generally unpleasant to every single person who crosses his path.

But that’s par for the course for Roman Sionis, who is never really EVER portrayed as a charming, likable guy. The real question here is, is he an entertaining villain? Well he’s played by Ewan McGregor, what do YOU think?

Motivation/Goals: Roman is a relatively simple villain, but I think this works in his favor. You see, a big issue with Harley’s previous outing, Suicide Squad, is that the mission was way too high stakes despite the cast featuring a group of people who didn’t really have any powers beyond “fighting really good.” or “has weapon skills.” You’re telling me you’re gonna put Harley Quinn, Deadshot, and Captain Boomerang up against Enchantress and her army of ancient Aztec super-zombies? WHAT? Here, we have a street-level threat much more suited to Harley’s capabilities: Roman is just a very powerful gangster, and his goal in this movie is the simple “get this diamond that was stolen back to me so I can make fat stacks of cash.” That’s really all their needs to be here, a simple MacGuffin to drive along the plot to its various setpieces.

Performance: I love Ewan McGregor, so, really, he didn’t have to do much with the role of Roman Sionis to make him great. Still, this man went above and beyond despite having comparatively little screentime to Harley. Roman seems incapable of going a single sentence without cursing up a storm and is the epitome of a psychopathic manchild, tormenting people for the slightest of reasons. He forces a woman to strip and dance on one of his tables because she was laughing too loud when he was upset, and decides not to spare a girl’s life because she had a gross snot bubble on her face from sobbing while he had his crony Zsasz peel off her parents’ faces. As funny and hammy as he gets, the dude is a stone-cold ruthless bastard who has no line he won’t cross to get what he wants.

Final Fate: Cass hides a grenade on him and steals the ring, and then Harley kicks him off the pier while he panics. Before he even hits the water, BOOM! Never would I have expected to laugh out loud at the sight of Ewan McGregor being blown into bits, but this movie was just full of surprises.

Best Scene: I think that the honor has to go to his establishing character moment with Zsasz, as they cut off the faces of a family who crossed Roman, and then when Roman decides to spare the daughter, he notices snot on her face, says “Ew” like a petulant child, and has Zsasz cut her face off anyway. It’s a great way to establish that Roman is an awful human being no matter how you slice it, and firmly establishes that while, yes, he is a misogynist villain in a female-led blockbuster, his misogyny is just a tiny facet of how unabashedly terrible Roman is.

Final Thoughts & Score: So, this is gonna sound weird, but… Roman kinda reminded me of Justin Hammer. Hammer is a villain who I have greatly warmed to over time (mostly thanks to Nando V Movies on YouTube), to the point where I think he’s actually pretty funny but is held back from true greatness by the sloppy nature of Iron Man 2. The film was big, bloated, and didn’t know what to do with itself. And this film is KIND OF like that… but it knows what to do with Roman.

The movie has an undercurrent of female empowerment, so why not make the villain emblematic of things women have to overcome? Roman is creepy, misogynistic, and even a bit racist especially with his condescending actions towards Dinah. And he even throws a fit when she “betrays” him and decides to murder her. But the movie is smart so as to not make this hamfisted; the movie makes it entirely clear that even if you take away his misogynistic elements, Roman Sionis is just an utterly disgusting human being. Everything about him is just so hilariously vulgar and repulsive, but the way he’s performed helps lighten it and help keep him within the tone of the movie. He’s just dark enough and just hammy enough to work.

My big issues with Roman are mostly due to his utilization and the wasted potential, which is a problem that really hits a lot of stuff in Birds of Prey. He is great every time he’s onscreen, but his screentime is fairly limited, and then he dies at the end which robs him of any chance of coming back in the future as an antagonist. He actually functions great as a more grounded threat rather than some larger-than-life end of the world threat, but the fact he dies horribly – before even having his mask burned onto his face, even! - just kind of feels like a waste of a character. To be fair, Black Mask is not the best or most interesting Batman villain crime lord; we have the Penguin for that. But when you cast  someone like Ewan McGregor and he’s clearly having a blast, it’s hard not to feel at least slightly bitter when he gets hilariously gibbed at the end.

Still, I can’t let Justin Hammer’s sacrifice go in vain; he walked so Roman could run, and Roman ran so that perhaps someday Hammer could sprint. Roman gets a nice, fat 8/10, which he definitely earns with the heaping helpings of ham he brings to the table, though he is held back at least a little by the wasted potential of his character.

But hey, if you want to talk about wasted potential…

Psycho Analysis: Victor Zsasz

I really like Victor Zsasz in this film. I really do. The angle they went with, the implied homosexuality, the actor… it’s all good stuff that helps make a disturbing character like Zsasz easier to swallow. But he gets hit with wasted potential harder than even Roman does.

Motivation/Goals: He’s Roman’s right-hand man, so basically his motivation is to do whatever Roman wants him to do. However, there is a bit of an implied thing between his boss and him; Zsasz seems undeniably irritated with the attention he lavishes on Dinah, and is very hands-on and affectionate with his boss. A lot of his later actions in the film and his cruelty towards Dinah does seem to stem from some place of anger towards her for taking Roman’s attention away from him.

Performance: I have to say, Chris Messina does a stellar job at portraying Zsasz as creepy and obsessive, and certainly showcases the fanatical loyalty he has towards Roman, making him something of a dark mirror to Harley’s former relationship with the Joker. I also appreciate that, despite not going with Zsasz’s original psychotic serial killer angle, they still made him a bloodthirsty psycho with a sort of nihilistic edge to him. Frankly, this might be the best possible take on a live-action Zsasz without things getting intensely uncomfortable.

Final Fate: This is probably the worst element of Zsasz: his death. Right before the climax he gets shot out of the blue by Huntress and then Harley just repeatedly stabs him with the arrow. And I have to make it clear here – Zsasz barely got to do anything. He never really poses any sort of physical threats to the heroines, never gets into a fight, and is never mentioned again after his death despite being very close to Roman (to the point where the two may have been lovers).

Final Thoughts & Score: As far as henchmen go, Zsasz is pretty solid conceptually. He’s established early on as a psychopathic enforcer of Roman’s gang, he has an eerie air to him, and he has a lot of elements from the comics you rarely see on Zsasz in other media, such as being blonde. Messina does a fantastic job at making the character seem like a competent killer in the employ of Roman.

But the key word is “seem,” because Zsasz frankly never lives up to his hype. Despite being introduced peeling the faces off of a family, he is just never utilized to his fullest extent. He’s kind of just there in a lot of scenes, and while he isn’t unmemorable or anything he never really does anything that makes him into a worthwhile addition to the franchise. He’s honestly just a glorified mook with a few interesting gimmicks to help set him apart.

I’ve gotta give him a 6/10. While he’s definitely a step above average, he’s really not anything amazing, mostly because the movie refuses to allow him to reach his full potential. He doesn’t have any great quotes, his most memorable scene really serves more to establish Roman than anything, and he is dumped and quickly forgotten right before the climax. He would easily be a 7 or 8 if the story treated him with a little more weight or respect, but he just ends up underwhelming despite having so much going for him, and it’s frankly a bit depressing. It’s just a very sad state of affairs for the character, especially when he managed to be more intimidating in the Arkham games despite the fact that he posed even less of a physical threat than he does here.

Well, while we’re here, let’s go over THAT Zsasz briefly.

Portrayed in the games by Danny Jacobs (who you may know as Sacha Baron Cohen's stand in on The Penguins of Madagascar. Yes, Zsasz and King Julien had the same voice actor.), Zsasz is never really a major antagonist and is, in all honesty, a pretty weak fighter; you can always take him down in one punch. The thing with Zsasz in the games, though, is that it’s always tricky to get to him, because he usually has hostages of some kind. In Arkham Asylum, he appears twice, and you need to use stealth to take him out before he kills his hostages. In City, he gets a much longer sidequest where he requires you to pick up ringing telephones and then glide to another one across the city within a time limit. Once you’ve listened to all of his messages, Batman finds out where his lair is, sneaks through it, and whoops his ass.

I certainly can’t say he’s the best villain in either game he appears in, but he’s definitely scary. His messages and game over screens are really freaky and unnerving, and the Riddler even requires you to find some of Zsasz’s work as parts of riddles… and by “work” I am of course referring to corpses posed in life-like positions. There’s also the horrifying little tidbit that in City, Zsasz actually does kill one of his hostages and there’s nothing that can be done about it; if you switch to detective mode in his lair, you can see a corpse at the bottom of the water in the room.

I think how creepy and intense he is really helps make him stand out among the more colorful characters in those games like Joker, Clayface, and Riddler, so I think giving him a nice 8/10 for his appearances is well-earned. I feel like Birds of Prey could have learned a few lessons from this portrayal; if they wanted to make him more creepy than physically intimidating, that could have worked well and it would have made his anti-climactic defeat a bit more plausible. Instead, they kind of tried this middle ground where he’s creepy enough and intimidating enough physically that it just feels like a letdown when he’s offed.

Oh yeah, did you know he appeared in Batman Begins? He had a brief cameo and didn’t do anything significant and looked like this:

Pretty sure he’d get a low score if he wasn’t just a quick little reference.

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “John Wick” Part 3

Y/N left The Organization 3 years ago for the one reason strong enough to make her settle down: love. But after tragedy crushed her to pieces, she decided to leave The Joker and seek refuge with an old friend and mentor - John Wick. Needless to say The King of Gotham can’t accept his wife running away without a word, especially since he didn’t have a chance to tell her things she might want to hear.

Part 1     Part 2

The Joker listens at the bedroom’s door, impatient to have a conversation with you. It seems you are engaged into a fervent phone call with Winston and figured he shouldn’t interrupt.

“Please, anything you can discover would be a great help! U-hum… U-hum… Thank you,” and you hang up, which queues your husband to walk into the room.

You completely ignore him, scrolling through the numerous text messages you sent to your connections; several are already answering back and hopefully you can get some news soon. The more people are involved into the project, the more chances to find Kase and untangle the mystery of what happened to him after he was removed from the car.

“You left me there,” The Joker sneaks in and closes the door behind him. “Luckily we had Wick with us so he gave me a ride.”

No reaction. He takes a deep breath, trying to get your awareness.

“I didn’t sleep with Evelyn; sex wasn’t the reason why I kept visiting her. I know how that asshole made it sound and he was totally out of line!”

You quickly glance at him, busy replying to Ares since you feel you’re going to explode soon.

“The only skill I was interested in is the fact that she is an excellent painter and a popular art smuggler, OK?” J raises his voice, sort of annoyed you neglect to participate into his monologue. “I did not cheat, alright?” he approaches his wife. “First of all: I’m VERY picky! Second of all: why would I want a woman everyone else had?! I don’t like used toys. Third: nobody’s been polishing my gun as you tastefully addressed the issue! I have one Queen and I married her!!”

A little bit of doubt in your eyes and he utilizes the opportunity.

“You said you saw me going to her house? I did! The Bowery King asked if it was for the last 6 months? Yeah, I did! You know why?!”

At least now The Joker got your attention: you play it cool but he guesses you’re torn apart by his confession.

Many unfortunate events crammed in lately and hating the man you love made life infinitely more unbearable.

“Why…?” you barely muster the strength to inquire and he sees it as a possibility to mend a few broken pieces; although you can hide your emotions well, J can still read between the lines.

Maybe that’s why he answers with another question:

“Do you realize there are just three Monet paintings in circulation on the black market in the entire world? You admire his work and it took a lot of effort and a substantial fortune to acquire The Water Lily Pond painting. Evelyn Black helped with the transaction, then I had her make some modifications to the original masterpiece.”

You keep staring at The King of Gotham, uncertain about the stuff being tossed your way: is he lying or telling the truth?... In your line of work translating feelings is a huge part of the job; ultimately you had the best mentor to teach you the ropes when you started with the organization: none other than the legendary Baba Yaga. Despite his reputation and to your own amazement, John was one of the few hitmen with integrity and perfectly mastered the aptitude of not being a jerk. Such a rare gem… And blissfully unaware of it himself.

On the opposite end, The Joker is a jerk and flawlessly acquainted with his own “captivating” personality that made you fall in love with him anyway.

Also, doesn’t appear to be deceitful for the moment.

And you despise yourself even more for wanting to believe him.

“What… modifications?...” you throw him a bone and J is definitely not going to pass on the alternative of explaining his actions.

“I wanted to surprise you so I took advantage of Miss Black’s capabilities in the art field; I had her add small images to the authentic canvas: an evolution of you being pregnant, the nine frames culminating with a tenth: the new mother holding our son. Similar to a timeline,” he emphasize and you look intrigued, which might be a positive sign. “Needless to say it was tedious, difficult work, especially because she had to apply special pigments you can’t find at every corner of the street. Apparently you can’t mix old paint with contemporary shades, thus I had to order aged, special colors from Italy, Spain and France. That’s why I went to her place so often: I had to supervise the long process and make sure it turns out astonishing. Then…” and The Joker pauses,”…Kase was gone and I didn’t know what to do with my gift: bring it home or not? Would you have loved it? Would it make you sadder? I continued to drive to Evelyn’s and glare at the stupid painting for hours, undecided on what to do…”

J watches you bite on your cheek, then straightens his shoulders as you utter the words:

“… … … You ruined a genuine Monet?”

Your spouse might be a smooth talker when needed, yet he’s not wasting his versatility on this statement:

“I didn’t ruin it; I made it better!”

Silence from both parties. A good or bad omen? Hard to decipher the riddle with two individuals tangled into a relationship that somehow worked despite countless peculiarities meant to keep them apart.

“I have to talk to Jonathan,” you finally mutter and The Joker steps in front of you.

“Talk to me!”

“Unless you know the exact location of the suitcase full of gold coins he’s been safekeeping for me, I really have to speak to him. Or do you want to hammer the whole basement searching for it?”

Y/N walks out of the bedroom and J lingers inside, evesdropping on the conversation happening downstairs. He can’t understand the chat, but you are probably notifying John about the details your husband left out.

Might as well join the party, therefore The Clown pops up in the living room with a plea impossible to refuse:

“Hey Wick, can I stay here? I don’t care if you say no, I’m not going to leave.”

Your friend crosses his arms on his chest, focusing on the random topic:

“How could I deny such a polite request? Of course you can stay Mister Joker; my house is your house.”

You’re watching the free show unamused; usually it would make you smile…now you lack the depth for such connotations.

“Don’t get smart with me, Wick!” J growls and Jonathan pushes for a tiny, unnecessary quarrel.

“I’m not; although generally speaking, I fancy considering myself a smart guy.”

The Joker opens his mouth and you’re not in the mood for whatever the heck they’re initiating:

“I’m going to pump, then after you dig out the suitcase I’ll take half to the Bowery King,” you announce your plans to them.

“You can do that and rest; I’ll deliver the coins,” John immediately offers. “I can stop by Aurelio’s car shop and ask for his collaboration: he has a lot of associates, doesn’t hurt to get him involved. You have plenty of gold.”

“I have two more suitcases in the Continental’s safe and two more at The Penthouse. It doesn’t matter if it’s all gone as long as I can find my son.”

“I know gold coins are preferred; don’t forget we have a lot of money too,” J reckons with spite.

Is he reminding you or Jonathan?...

*************

Your husband spent the last hour in the garden, talking and texting with a lot of people; needless to mention he’s capitalizing on his network also. Winston disclosed Stonneberg’s contract is still opened, meaning the son of a bitch is out there; you have to scoop him before anybody else does.

“Y/N…” The Joker tiptoes in your quarters. “I thought you were taking a nap,” he huffs when he sees you at the edge of the bed.

You glare at the vial on the nightstand, sharing your idea for a future you wish will come true:

“I didn’t have my medicine in two days; I won’t take it anymore because if we get Kase back… I will nurse him. It all goes in the milk and I want to be able to feed my baby… Do you think his little heart is still beating?...” you sniffle and J is currently debating on a clever response since his mind is blank; one could deduce messing up is encoded in his DNA, but on such a huge scale… well, it gives new interpretations to the term even for him.

The grieving woman seeking reassurance for their loss is trying to make sense of the pointless occurrences that lead to Kase being an innocent victim and The Joker can’t render clarification: he has no clue why he asked her to marry him and why she said yes, it’s not that he’s husband material or a family man. Perhaps Y/N thought he could be… just enough to get by, that’s why she accepted his proposal.

Most women would have cringed at the concept. Most women. Not Y/N.

Most women would have flinched at the notion of having his baby. Most women. Not his wife.

Above all, she trusted J with their son and he treated the three weeks old like a trinket: didn’t drive him home because he had an important meeting, didn’t bother to assign escorting cars nor extra security. The King of Gotham took his child’s safety lightly and it definitely had severe consequences. Too late now to fix past mistakes... but he can attempt.

“You’ll be able to nurse him, OK?” he sits by you and hands over his cell. “Can you enter your phone number in here? Or am I not allowed to have the present digits?”

You’re hesitant and he slides the screen while you hold the gadget.

“Lemme help you,” The Joker sarcastically mumbles. “It should be the first on my list, right where the old number you canceled was.”

You exhale and fulfill his demand out of pure frustration when he squeezes in a second innocent petition.

“Chose my avatar.”

You grunt at his rubbish, scrolling through his folders for a picture anyway; J hopes the largest file will get your attention and that’s the point. How could Y/N miss it?!

Entitled “Baby”, the humongous cluster of pics contains 5,723 items. You open it quite absorbed by its size; what’s more puzzling is the collection depicting Kase’s ultrasounds, hundreds of frames with you being pregnant taken without you knowing: there’s a few when your ankles were so swollen you had to sleep with your feet up on 4 pillows, others with you munching on strange food you craved, more with you in the shower focused on your bump, a decent amount of couple selfies when you were sleeping and J had to immortalize the moment without waking you up and approximately 1,500 images of the newborn.

“You didn’t gross me out when you were pregnant,” The Joker reminds a teary Y/N. “Not sure why you would believe such aberration...” he pulls you on his knees and yanks the phone away, tossing it on the nightstand. “I would also like to underline I didn’t have an affair with Miss Black, alright?”

J lifts your chin up, forcing to look at him.

“Let’s put it this way: why would I fuck around with another woman when I have a wife at home that wants to kill me on a regular basis, hm? Where would the fun be? I mean, she didn’t pull the trigger yet but it’s exciting to hope she might. You know me: I’m a sucker for thrills!”

“Do I?”

“Huh?” J steals a kiss and you frown at his sleekness.

“Know you?”

“Yeah,” the green haired Clown acts composed while in fact his feathers are ruffled. Before you catch onto it he has to ultimately admit: “I’m sorry I didn’t drive the car… I should have…”

The Joker holds in his breath when your arms go around his neck very tight.

“I’m suffocating…” he grumbles. “I can’t tell if you’re trying to hug me or choke me to death,” J keeps on caressing your hair, prepared to block your attack in case you’re actually in killing mode.

This is the excitement he was speaking about: with you, one could never know until it’s a done deal.

“I bumped into Magnus at the Continental,” you give him a bit of space to inhale much needed air and The Joker is surprised at your revelation. “I had no idea about his scheme, otherwise I would have skinned him alive right on the hotel grounds! I wouldn’t have cared about the consequences!”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” J cuts you off and he can tell you’re getting mad; maybe you think he doesn’t give a damn but the reason is simple. “You would’ve been declared excommunicado for murder on neutral ground and I don’t want my wife to be the target of such punishment from the company she so proudly retired from. I need my partner!”

The King of Gotham touches your forehead with his as you whisper:

“I hate you!”

“Mmm, regarding this true love affirmation, I’m gonna need you to take a break from detesting me until we have Kase, then you can despise me full throttle again. Deal?” he extends the palm of his hand and you reluctantly shake it, not realizing you’re reacting to his nonsense. “Is that a smile?” J returns the favor with one of his creepy silver grins.

“No.”

“Liar,” he pecks your lips and can’t explain the weird feeling in his heart when you kiss him back.

*************

Jonathan enters the house and becomes suspicious after a few minutes: too much silence.

Omg! Did you and The Joker engaged into a brawling that ended up badly? Did you end each other?!

John frantically runs to the garage, nervous to see your car and J’s are still parked inside. Shit!

“Y/N?” he shouts, concerned about your fate; The Joker’s… irrelevant. Nobody in the garden, patio is empty also. Downstairs is deserted thus he rushes upstairs to your room. The door is not completely shut and he slowly pushes it, knocking.

“Y/N? Can I come in?”

The first thing he notices are clothes scattered on the floor, then he halts his movement at the sight of Y/N and her husband dozing off on the bed sideways: the naked bodies are covered with a blanket, but he can tell you’re snuggled in J’s arms.

Jonathan steps backwards, guilty of invading his guests’ privacy; he certainly didn’t expect to intrude in such a manner and softly closes the door, grateful it’s not what he feared.  

You and The Joker are so worn out the sound of your phones vibrating on the nightstand doesn’t wake you from the deep sleep. Your numerous contacts keep replying back to the text messages, the most important one showing up on his cell: one of the people J reached to is Evelyn Black and the two sentence conversation lights up the screen.

“Let me know if you see Stonnenberg.”

“He’s here.”

 Also read: MASTERLIST

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