#jesus christ like

[pixiesnooze]

[thatswhatsushesaid]

didn't anyone ever tell u it's rude to interrupt, da-ge

[clowningcrows]

i fear i cannot mentally or emotionally handle being conscious much longer so im gonna take a melatonin and hope to god it works enough to make me pass out by 8:30 tbh

[bloodrock-lobster]

I keep saying I'll pick bg3 up again once they add new wyll content and expand his interactions, and i think um. i. dont think that. im going to ever play it again at this rate

[sebnameyourcar]

spain should be banned from the next world cup for how bad those penalties were

[teaboot]

Okay so I'm a security guard, right

And part of why I like my job is cause I'm pretty good at deescalating conflicts without violence or police involvement

And that *might* be because my primary coping mechanism for stress is humor, and if the guy in the uniform isn't stressed out, usually nobody else is either

But anyhow today I witnessed a crime, which 911 had already been called for

And I'm telling the guy, you know, as he's running away, that nobody's gonna touch him, we don't do that here, I don't have any weapons and he can totally walk on out if he wants to

And he gives me this 'go-fuck-yourself" type answer, right? As you do

And I fucking

I fucking. Start danCING

I DONT KNOW WHY

I WAS JUST LIKE "aight guess I'll go fuck myself then, cheerio" AND START FUCKING DANCING

LIKE MY BRAIN WAS LIKE "Cool not being attacked, gotta keep the witnessed calm, gotta stay chill and breezy" AND THE PHYSICAL RESPONSE FOR THAT WAS TO SYART DOING THIS SASSY FUCKING JIG

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZR I WAS FDOUNG IT UNTIL SOMEONE POIU TED IT OUT AFTER

and it all ended fine and the dude is in custody and I get a call from my boss like "Yeah we're gonna need to send footage to police"

AND

FUCKING

THIS IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN COURT SOMEWHERE

IM DOUNG A SRUPID LITTLE DANCE ON CAMERA AS THIS GUY LOSES HIS MIND AND ITS GONNA BE ON COURT SOMEWHERW

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE WVER DONE

I HATE MYSELFD

[potatofu-art]

"The Hermit stands alone on the top of a mountain. The snow-capped range symbolizes his spiritual mastery, growth, and accomplishment. He has chosen this path of self-discovery and, as a result, has reached a heightened state of awareness."

[spectra-bear]

Sometimes something simple could be really special, after all.

[todoroki-tina]

Imagine being such a pathetic incel loser you are being roasted in multiple languages.

[peepthatbish]

Omg look at them!!!

If chamber had baguettes/croissants instead of his weapons rip jett😔

valo art dump 😌

[grantwilson]

we are discussing our childhood passions on the dash tonight

[spyres]

[spitblaze]

I guess Chilchuck has brought us right back to 'adults who are short are child-coded and if you like them you're a pedophile' discourse huh

[the-southern-cereal-king]

Sometimes I have to play a fun little game of “Is this fanart of Jesus Christ (bible), Odysseus(Greek), or Jonathon Sims(The Magnus Archives)?”

[your-local-granny]

"We have to make sure you become recognized as a first-rate prosecutor, don't we? .......It wouldn't be very interesting otherwise."

[greykolla-art]

Charlie: “I’m so glad my most villain-coded friend is at full power again! 🥰💕”

*throws this to you angst goblins like raw steak* ❤️

(No I will not do a part 2!❤️)