#jeez I had NO IDEA
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shutthefuckupshutthefuckup
if i hear this bullshit one more fucking time i am gonna bash my head into a fucking wall
#every. fucking. time.#every fucking time I talk about other men#“well thats a MAN”#“thats what MEN do”#“guys don't do that”#haha silly idiot men dont talk about their feelings#men are sloppy dirty pigs you moron#“if i did that i would do it differently”#well thats because thats A MAN#MEN DO THAT!!!#SHUT THE FUCK UP#wtf am I then???#the fucking ghost of Christmas past?#jeez I had NO IDEA#I had not a fucking clue what a man is or does#im not a fucking man or anything#OBvIoUsLy#I couldn't POSSIBLY know wtf being a man is#thanks for reminding me what you really yhink about me you fucking piece of shit#i am fucking tired of hearing that shit#those are all fucking braindead things to say on their own#everyone who fuckin talks like that and says shit like that are why women choose the bear#what your emotional void of a husband who used to beat you does isn't what all men do#meN dOnT TaLk aBOut TheYRe fEElInGs#the ones who dont cheat on their partners or neglect their kids do#your man not changing your kids diapers or never being involved in helping you raise them is not the flex you think it is sharon#thats not a man#thats a lil boy who still needs mommy to clean up after him#thats a immature adult toddler#your man is not a man he is a child who has weaponized his incompetence his entire life because of people like you who let him
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happy cascade day!!!!!!!!!!! is this not what happened
#jade harley#homestuck#hs#lovisas art#1025#can u tell this was about sunslammer originally#had this unfinished from when i started on it in the summer and was like. it kinda works i got nothing else#putting my braincells into halloween ideas instead#god all i do is draw holiday art nowadays jeez
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he looks like sucha nerd lmaoooo
i also have this little hc of mine that Eclipse wears a bandage on his hand along with his fingers being a bit rigid since Nexus broke 'em that one time he just never bothered to fix it fully, got it to work well enough again and that's kinda it
perhaps the bandage is from Earth when she found out that it happened (cuz i really don't think he would care enough to put it on himself) and now he just replaces it every now and then with a new one if needed
[EP: Ballora KIDNAPS ECLIPSE in VRChat (EAPS)]
#i had that lil' hc for him literally since it happened and i cannot believe this is the first time i draw Eclipse since then#it's been so long#jeez#and i mean like current Eclipse and not a gHoSt Of THe PaSt or smth#kind of looks like shit ngl lol#it's 4am i have no idea what i'm doing#*dying wheeze of laughter and insanity*#sams#sun and moon show#sams fanart#eaps#eclipse and puppet show#eaps fanart#tsbs#the security breach show#eclipse#eclipse fanart#sams eclipse#eaps eclipse#art
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Addicted to the idea of an ex!convict geto who is on the run. You married him young at the fresh age of 19 in Vegas, only for him to ‘abandon’ your marriage never to be seen again. Nearly 4 years have passed and you’re now a moderately prestigious singer at mafia!gojo’s club, the blue dragon.
audiences stack up on weekends until Satoru introduces you to an associate of his called Kento. He’s tall, handsome, and mature in ways you didn’t know you wanted or needed. After a few visits to the club, he asks you out for dinner. A relationship instantly clicked with the businessman that suddenly everyone knew you were his. Until a mysterious letter appears on your doorstep one day. Attached is a familiar pink ribbon and all black lighter.
“My men wouldn’t do that,” your now boyfriend shakes his head. “No one knows about him but me.”
“Ken, you’re the only one to know about him. No one knows about him except you and Satoru. So please, if this is a prank, tell me.”
“I’m quite offended you think I would casually play with the emotions of the woman I have invested all my time in.” He says, “I’ll go talk to Satoru if he knows anything, but it’s for the best if you cancel tonight’s show.” You pull away from the protective hold he has on your waist and hiss. “I won’t cancel a show. Tonight’s the premiere, a lot of Satoru’s clients have invested thousands in tonight’s event.”
“Cancel it,” your blond partner whispers, “I’ll pay the difference, stay the night at my-“ but your agitated nature makes you turn him down.
“I said no! I’ll continue the show, and you can’t say anything about it. It’s my career, kento. And you can’t decide when to sing for me.”
He should have known it had to do with your hyper independence, your need to still depend on your own income after depending on what Nanami considered a reaction of yours after your relationship with a cowardly no good for nothing scum bag who left his wife.
After his disappearance, search warrants for him went on the national level until his presence was declared inconclusive 3 weeks later. Months later, it was rumored he was found dead.
But no body was found.
Now in tonight’s stage, everyone is dressed in the 9’s, with kento leaning against a wall with crossed arms, looking over the audience as you sing prettily. That is until you see a dark figure, long black hair with a familiar silver wedding band on his fourth finger. What sets him apart is the drink on the table.
Suguru.
(wrote this part one and this part two as a result^)
#I’m sleep deprived I should delete this but I’ve had this idea for over a year I need to post about this in order to shut up#so suguru didn’t die but he’s back#and his now ex wife is with a protective kento#it’s so messy I’m sorry but someone please understand the concept of mf#it#***IT#jeez#okay that’s it thank you for coming to my Ted talk#gojo#geto#Nanami#kento#Nanami kento#geto suguru#gojo satoru#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#mafia Nanami#mafia kento
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the moment you’ve all been waiting for
Ziemia
Or as I’ve been calling her up until now- Rat Mari! Now to tell you the truth Rat Mari/Ziemia took me AGES to properly figure out and when I was first getting started with Marzenie I had no idea what to do about Mari- then I had the rot metaphor idea and decided “rats in the shape of a person is pretty horrible I could do that!”… thus, Mari shaped rat pile and some wooden limbs in there too for vague symbolism reasons? Which. What I mean by that is that I’m drawing a similarity between her and Sol
The whole thing with Sol is the idea of perfection, a person is not capable of perfection and so he must be a doll, must be wood and light and no more- Mari was once perfect too, but her idea is tainted and gone and all that remains is rot. Do you see what I’m saying here? I’m not sure honestly I’ve been brainfogged as hell lately and started this drawing two days ago only to finish it NOW, and to be totally honest the design isn’t everything I wanted from it… but it dawned on me sometime lately that what I do want would be very tedious to draw
I cannot physically draw enough rats for me to be happy with so I compromised with not that many rats- and they aren’t very good rats either I’m not that great with animals … anyhow! Why Ziemia? Well. I think I’ve brought it up before but the in-world explanation for this character is that she was once a nature goddess, like how Sol is a god of the sun- but she was tainted by something terrible and consumed by pests, so Ziemia (in my rudimentary understanding of the polish language thanks to imperfect software because I don’t actually know polish and am doing my best to choose correct translations) is a word that means Earth. There were alternate translations and other words I could’ve used, but I picked Ziemia because it’s 1: a relatively simple word that matches the other ones I’ve used and 2: sounds enough like a name that I find it easy to call a character that and 3: is relatively easy to pronounce for … what I imagine to be my mostly English speaking audience? What five of you there are- other then @/birdzman ! Who I think might actually be polish? Not sure but shout out to you if you’re reading this!! Not fully sure if I’m right but if so then uhhh I apologize for being a dumb little American because I doubt I’m doing these translations right, anyhow!
Rat Mari/Ziemia isn’t just accociated with rats, I also want her to have themes of decay and other scavenger animals such as maggots or worms, the focus on rats is to do with Marzenie’s setting, I guess the idea is that Rats invade homes in winter to survive, whereas bugs mostly die off in winter regardless of available human homes to inhabit, so rats are one of the only pest animals which persist through the snow, which is why they might appear in some places outside Ziemia’s tree area, whilst other associated creatures would be unique to that area
Last but not least of my statements on this character, Ziemia does not represent the grief of Mari’s death, but rather the tangible brutality of it, how death feels in the eyes of a child, the inherent horror of a corpse, of knowing a person was once alive is no longer so, the horror of feeling their body stiff and cold in your arms, arms that once held you … this is what the rot theme comes from, one of Basil’s frequent hallucinations is of her body, decaying on the rope, decaying where he left her.
Cough. YAY!!!!!
#Guh. TOOK ME AGES TO GET TO HER BUT SHES FINALLY FUCKING HERE#jeez…#anyway#omori au#omori!marzenie#Danny’sDrawings©️#tw death#tw rats#Ziemia is the physicality of death#and specifically Basils role in it- in HER death#greif in Marzenie has its own place in the burning angels#who I’ve yet to mention have I?#uh. anyway!!! BYEEEEE#watch me run away and not elaborate and CRY#kidding kidding I love elaborating but only when asked#this is gonna be a scheduled post I think#PS: did I forget about the rat tail noose idea I had like three months ago? yes#will I still find a way to shove it into her desgin in a way that’s currently hidden?#yes.#edit: hello again birdz (if you don’t mind me calling you that)#I just noticed that you have MARZENIE THEMED YOUR ACCOUNT A#WHEN I TELL YOU IM SPRINTING TOMYOUR COORDINATES…/pos /the most pos to ever pos#I don’t deserve fans. how did this happen#I’m glad you like my dumb little guys- watch me make content specifically for YOU 🫵#I’m sorry I just appreciate the love I get for this au so much#my tiny fandom my beloved…
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happy aarni day!!! (reference)
b&w under the cut
#kuumaa#aarni soivio#my art#my fanart#digital art#fanart#jeez i was Struggling#like i had a bunch of ideas i couldn't draw properly#then i decided to draw this image for the contrasting color lights#but i didn't know how to actually color it so i rendered it in grayscale#then i wasn't sure still how to color it so i did. this#and my usual glow ofc#artists on tumblr
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guys why are we, as a fandom, full ass sleeping on the fact that david shaw enjoys ear scratches in his wolf form SO MUCH that he literally whimpered
like 🤨🤨🤨🤨 c’mon
#i have werewolf brainrot tonight apparently#Audio RP | Tsundere Werewolf Boyfriend Shifts For You [M4A]#sorry for the Many Posts#i simply had a Lot Of Ideas#okay okay ill sleep now jeez#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redacted david#redacted shifters
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Anyone on here who is into vulture culture or otherwise deals with animal bones/carcasses, you have my respect. I’m particularly thinking of you, @blackbackedjackal. Hallow found an elk carcass today and I took the jaw bone home. “It already looks so clean, I’m just going to boil it for a bit, easy peasy!” I thought to myself. Lies. Folly. Why is it so greasy. WHY IS IT SO GREASY. My house is so humid. All of the windows are wide open and it’s like 20f outside.
#I’ve only taken home shed before never bones I’m clueless#I kind of wanted to take the whole skull but it had some flesh and fur still on it#and was still attached to the spine#and I don’t quite have the stomach to deal with that#and thank god I didn’t try because just the jaw bone is so much#like I already found taxidermy/vulture culture to be impressive but jeez I had no idea
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what has been happening in the world of motorsports?
(a very long overdue summary from the past weeks under the cut)
F1 teams
Singapore presented us with some special helmets and liveries, but Red Bull posted they won’t do any of their previously planned special liveries to save weight and instead, the planned Singapore special livery was only ran on their F1 Academy car
On the other hand, Haas brought a special livery to Austin (along with special suits and probably also special helmets)
As previously communicated, GP got promoted while keeping the role of max’s race engineer (he is now also the head of racing)
VCARB replaced Daniel by Liam Lawson with an immediate effect, Helmut Marko (as per Horner’s words) wanted him out of the car around Spain already, Kym Illman said Daniel was meant to get a “key to the city” at COTA but now won’t, Zak Brown got his knickers in a twist over Daniel scoring the fastest lap of the Singapore race which effectively stopped Lando from getting his first ever career grand chelem and also helped Max in the championship (even if Lando wins everything from now on and scores all fastest laps, if Max ends up second he will still win by one point) and finally Oscar and Daniel swapped helmets as goodbye
Also it looks like Yuki and Liam might be in a shootout (sort of) these last few races to see if any of them could replace Checo
Alpine confirmed the end of their own engine supply based in Viry but the workers were assured they will all get a new offer for a new position and won’t be laid off work (Mercedes is the strongest candidate to supply them from 2026 onwards)
Funnily enough there are rumours that the Renault engine was looking pretty competitive for 2026 before the project got scraped
also they another of the teams with a special livery, this time orange like a mclaren – who on the other hand brought yet another chrome livery
James Vowles (still in delulu land) believes his “strongest lineup” on the grid will also have strongest engine since Merc seems to be ahead of their schedule for 2026, while Binotto admitted that Audi’s project will be vulnerable at the start with possibly the worst engine in 2026 (oh also james kinda hinted at fighting with Ferrari… in a Williams but ok)
As for the free seat in Sauber, it might be between Mick Schumacher and Valtteri Bottas as of right now based on the latest rumours (also Blic reported that Valtteri signed for a one year deal)
Haas got their lawsuit against Guenther Steiner dismissed
Also their contract with Toyota for technical partnership became official (interested to see if they get naming rights in the future and stuff, since they still have Ferrari engine till 2028 at least), also they signed a multi year contract with Orion 180
Alex Jacques thinks Daniel has many offers from outside of F1 including Nascar
Loic Serra and Jerome d’Ambrosio started working for Ferrari at the start of this month and Charles gave a nice interview where he hints at Ferrari being a championship contender in the next two years at the latest
Red Bull is supposed to bring new floor and front wing to COTA (but a lot of teams are planning upgrades tbh, with Merc saying that’s their final upgrade package and McLaren finally growing a pair to introduce the new floor they have been sitting on since mid-season already)
Today it broke out that they were caught cheating as they used a bib to change the ride height in parc fermé – therefore having a different set up for quali and race – and they admitted it exists but it cannot be accessed when the car is assembled and they will find a solution together with FIA to change it
After Courtenay got stolen by McLaren and instead, Red Bull made Hannah Smitz the head of strategy (good for her)
McLaren added another one to their 53 (was it 54?) sponsors, this time it is Tmobile (also they have a new sports center at the MTC)
Ferrari are allegedly trying to get some alpine workers from the failed engine project already
Merc won’t let Lewis test with Ferrari (BOOOOO) after this season as his contract states he can start officially on January 1st
Drivers and non sport news
Max Verstappen copyrighted his “simply lovely” after Zandvoort and now dropped his own merch with the phrase
Lewis will co-chair the next Met Gala along with Colman Domingo, ASAP Rocky, Pharell Williams and Anna Wintour (and honorary chair LeBron James)
Liam Lawson chose number 30 as his F1 driver number
Liam will also be greeted to F1 by getting a 10 places grid drop penalty at COTA’s sprint after getting new components outside of allocation
Checo re-confirmed (by posting a freaking meme on social media) he will be staying in the team for the rest of the season while Horner said he also has a contract for 2025 but that is uncertain as everything in the F1 world and also mentioned he may be eyeing George for the future since neither he nor Kimi have their place in Mercedes secure
Max celebrated his birthday by hiring the whole Mugello circuit to test Ferrari GT3 car
Lando posted his (overpriced) new merch, partnered with Ralph Lauren for a new fragrance, Charles stole another team sponsor to become their ambassador for some reason and Checo had an outing with Ford
Seb was a part of Blue Earth conference as a speaker
Checo and George did some nice photoshoots (I mean separate ones, not together, also Checo highkey ate it up)
It was also Charles’, Arthur’s and Kimi’s birthday
COTA will be Alex’ 100th race, so he has a special helmet design
Lewis showed the Dior collection he worked on (I will be honest it did NOT scream lewis to me?)
Did you know Haas’ team principal Komatsu loves climbing/bouldering? Now you know because as he signed the deal with Toyota (officially for press), he had clutches since he recently fell off one wall when climbing
Franco was simply his messy self and it was hilarious to watch
Charles posted the monza vlog :’)
Lewis teamed up with Bramblepeats to make vegan alternative for dog food (and let Roscoe promote it)
Yuki drove Red Bull in Red Bull Showrun in Taiwan and the car freaking caught on fire when he was doing donuts
Charles’ brother Lorenzo got engaged to his long term partner Charlotte
Gina Schumacher got married (and her father was apparently present but tbh the family owes us nothing and some people were so weird about it)
Ollie did a photoshoot with some very hot Ferrari cars
There have been rumours about George to Red Bull which were fueled by George meeting Horner and Marko during the break
(Logan is alive and well btw he apparently did some golf)
Wake up baby new landogate just dropped: he was talking down the problems drivers faced during Singapore GP, especially Mercedes boys who were excused from media duties to get medical help (yeah I get everyone struggled but let’s not get into the whole undermining heatstroke and dehydration thing please)
Lewis COULD technically sponsor himself because there are rumours Almave could appear as Ferrari’s sponsor under the Pernod Ricard umbrella
GPDA is supporting max against FIA in the whole swearing debate and George mentioned they want to set up a meeting soon to discuss this further
Ollie Bearman has a new episode on Beyond the Grid (that I have yet to hear just like the Charles one)
Oh also Lando got a new car. A Ferrari. Lol.
Lewis is publishing a short film Push Push today
Women in motorsport and junior drivers
Sophia Floersch’s documentary Racegirl won a golden dolphin award at Cannes in leisure and sports category
Chloe Chambers (Red Bull Ford) is the first confirmed driver for F1 Academy 2025 season
Formula E will hold a full female pre-season test session on 7th November in Valencia (with Bianca Bustamante confirmed to take the test for mclaren)
Zane Maloney will skip the F1 season finale in Abu Dhabi since he stepped up as FE driver for Lola Yamaha and he has the first race weekend on that date
Line ups for junior series are slowly announced with F3 so far: Louis Sharp for Rodin; Ugo Ugochuckwu, Noel Leon and Brando Badoer for Prema; Mari Boya, Tasanapol Inthraphuvasak and Roman Bilinksi for Campos; Charlie Wurz, Noah Stromsted, Rafael Camara and Emmo Fittipaldi jr for Trident; Tukka Taponen, James Wharton and Laurens Van Hoepen for ART and finally Martinius Stenshorne and Gerrard Xie for Hitech
Line ups for F2 so far: Leonardo Fornaroli for Invicta, Arvid Lindblad for Campos, Jak Crawford for DAMS (Dino is rumoured to get the Hitech seat but nothing is confirmed yet)
Felipe Drugovich will get an FP1 outing with Aston Martin in Mexico
Ella Lloyd becomes McLaren’s development driver for 2025 F1 Academy
Robin Raikkonen won his first karting championship (they grow up so fast wtf)
Isack Hadjar will take over reserve driver duties when Liam steps up into F1 in the place of Daniel
NHRA added new healthcare policy to help pregnant competitors to swap mid season
Dennis Hauger moves to Indy NXT from F2
FIA, rules and the future of the sport
Ben Sulayem’s main point of presidency is still to fight online abuse and swear words rather than the things that are actually important, so in his next quest, he repeated he wants drivers to swear less (or not at all in fact) and gave an interview where he was borderline racist
Then he slapped Max with community service penalty for saying fuck during press conference (something which Max later reacted to by giving shortest possible answers and giving his own press conference outside of official flow, he also mentioned that the drivers’ group chat is heavily discussing the matter)
Oh another thing FIA’s president is pissed off about is the British bias and the lack of credit they got for adding gravel traps to Spielberg
Pirelli is starting with the 2026 tyre testing (Aston tested them with Felipe Drugovich before Singapore and Liam Lawson did 2025 tyre testing with RB20 in Mugello)
F1 Commission wants to explore the rookie after season race but said it won’t happen this year yet, the teams agreed it would be possible in the future tho
As previously rumoured, F1 and LVMH signed a 10 year partnership deal (so Rolex out, Tag Heuer in)
FIA lost two more senior staff members: director of communications Luke Skipper and general secretary of mobility Jacob Bangsgaard (reminder that there are many that left already: FIA’s first CEO Natalie Robyn, head of FIA Women in Motorsport Commission Deborah Mayer, governance and regulatory director Pierre Ketterrer and head of commercial legal affairs Edward Floydd)
Instead they hired Alberto Villarreal as general manager and Alessandra Malhame as senior HR director
From 2025 onwards a bonus point for the fastest lap of the race will no longer be awarded (thanks lando…. Joking but also…)
Instead of 2 mandatory rookie sessions from a team (one for each car), there will be 4 of them (2 for each car)
There are rumours F1 might organize one big livery unveiling for all teams in London with tickets sold for the event (because cash is king and I don’t doubt teams also having individual launches anyway)
The prize giving ceremony should proceed in Rwanda as expected but WHO advised against it due to health concerns
FIA introduced the new F3 car, the idea is to help include female drivers (wheel will be suitable for smaller hands as well, steering should be easier) – they got feedback from Chloe Chambers
Other series
MotoGP will return to Portimao and from 2026 onwards also to India
Race of Champions will happen again in 2025 after being cancelled for this year, this time it won’t be a race on snow tho, they will move it to Australia
Mick and Seb already got confirmed for the ROC for team Germany
David Alonso won moto3 championship, Jake Hill won British Touring Car Championship and Maťo Homola won the TCR Eastern Europe Championship
Other news
Lego announced a new collaboration with Formula 1 (rather than selected teams like it was before) and it seems like every single team will be getting a set possibly
Hot Wheels (or Hotwheels?) also announced a partnership with F1 with the sets expected to come early next year
Michael Andretti stepped down at Andretti Global, while Zak Brown first got confirmed as part of the project and then resigned from Andretti Global within the same month
Felipe Massa spoke out about the financial burden of trying to get his championship back and fighting legally against F1
The thieves of Charles’ watch got sentenced from 10 to 4 years in prison
Aston Martin created ???? AiLonso which is the replica of Fernando in virtual reality that speaks and looks like him and I hated every second of writing this down and finding out it happened in the first place
Ruth Buscombe, Naomi Shiff and David Croft all got married within a month (or almost within)
There is a new segment on F1 TV called the Cooldown Room
#oh jeez this is LONG you have no idea the amount of time i spent on this and how long i have been sitting on it before publishing it too#anyway. started making it. had a breakdown. bon appetite.#f1#2024#gossip night#e
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i am. tired. u may have noticed that i am... "American" n what not.
I dont have the mental stability to keep up w all the... everything. but news of so and so trying to take citizenship from ppl born here whose parents came here Illegally (unconstitutional, not feasible, most likely just a scare tactic) made its way to me. and 2 things.
1) "we're gonna stop illegal immigration by retroactively making more people into illegal immigrants" ...very cool guys. very smart.
2) im like. 2nd gen i think? my mom was born here but her bio dad was not lol. hope my bio gramps doing ok wherever he is. never met the guy and tbh he sounds like a dick from what lil i know of him, but no one deserves. yknow. the. well i dont think theyre called camps but i cant remember the word. detention center or smth? im tired lol
#ramble tag#every day i get closer and closer to 'what if we snuck into mexico. switch it up reverse it.'#joking ofc#dont think thatd actually go well for us#everything is so surreal. like im at the point where the idea of getting deported makes me laugh more than anything#im too exhausted to be upset anymore#every since his campaign fuckin started man. i was in middle school.#i was in middle school and terrified of the line i felt i had to walk between white and not white enough#i might vent about race stuff if i cant stop thinking about it. bc god i dont wanna just soak in it. need it out of my head#im white im white im white!! but not as white as my classmates. sitting at lunch. our hands next to each other. stark.#highschool with immigrants and mexicans talked about like animals. this hurts me. but im told to shut up.#bc im not mexican enough to be allowed to do anything#i live in one of those 'you get one maybe two black students in a year' kinda towns if that explains anything#i had a kid who kept calling me the n word. he dated one of my friends. she didnt leave him until he cheated on her.#now that i think about it she hadnt talked to me in forever when she went to me after her breakup#jeez. highschool sucked ass.#ignore me im just... ugh. i have this identity crisis every once in a while dw#i think i even made a post about it before lol#smth about cultural disconnect and how that was a way that dicks romani backstory was smth i could connect to#something revealed to you that affects you but you exist in this limbo of if you can really claim it or not#like the world needs more stories that touch on race etc etc but i just mean that dicks story can fall into this sorta#white passing identity crisis thing. i find it comforting#dunno. my brain is soup
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boy my French has gotten awful
#Jeez#I mean it’s not surprising#It was never exceptional to begin with and I haven’t practiced at all in like a year and a half#But I could always a) read b) hold/follow a slow conversation#Note I did not say I could WRITE in French because man. I’ve always sucked at that.#Basically I can (or at least could at one point) understand French when it was presented to me#My french has uh. Degraded.#I read something and was like “oh I’ll respond.” Then stared at the screen for ten seconds before realizing I had no idea how to say any of#What I was getting at in French.#Oopsie there goes my already shaky skill lol
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Heyo! It’s been a bit since I’ve posted art, so here’s a sketch I made for a fic I’ve been reading recently. The fic is called Dog’s Life, and it’s written by @fountainpenguin! 10/10 fic, definitely would recommend, it’s got a lot of worldbuilding, and is just a really interesting story. This is BigB, btw. He’s a moth hybrid and his wing designs are supposed to be cookie inspired.
#Ravens art#bigb#bigbstatz#Dogs life#I attempted to make the wings look like cookies but idk if it really comes across#I’m working on drawing him with the wings open and other poses but first I gotta figure out how moth wings work#sketch#traffic smp#It’s been so long since I’ve actually posted art jeez#I dunno I just haven’t had motivation to draw but I’ve also had so many ideas#Btw my name on ao3 is Ravenstuff if anyone wants to know
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I've been using my down time at work to do a lot of reading lately, and a big part of that has been making my way through the works that VnC references, just for the fun of it.
I was going to start The Song of Roland a few days ago, but when I first looked at it, I just did not have the patience to deal with the sheer ~righteousness~ and pomp of a story about a bunch of eleventh century catholic knights.
HOWEVER, after making my way through a solid 80 pages of de Sade, I have to admit, those righteous catholic knights ended up looking pretty god damn appealing.
#had to switch from de sade to Roland solely for the sake of a fucking palette cleanser. bc. JEEZ#protip for anyone who thinks it's a good idea to read a de Sade novel between customers at their place of business:#don't!#or at the very least don't read fucking 120 days lmao#it's like.#I knew going in I was gonna have to bail out of reading it at work at some point once shit went full de Sade#but I figured (falsely) I could get through the introduction before that point#I also knew about and was braced for there being a lot of horrific assault#But I still wasn't expecting it to *start* with such an immediately insane level of brutality#and even more than that. I was not prepared for the sheer amount of literal FILTH and uncleanliness#anyway. if you ever want to read an 18th century frenchman describe several different people's permanently gaping unwashed asses#and the mass abduction and assault of dozens and dozens of teens and children#all within the first 60 pages of a novel#read de Sade#in other news the song of roland is pretty entertaining#about andie
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things have been scary n hard n a lot but i do feel good sometimes..theres good things too they might not seem like big things or as meaningful but it still matters n makes a difference! things might get scarier n harder etc overall n probs will at least sometimes.. even when it feels like things shld be easy theyre usually not but im trying ! n thats smth i suppose
#p#work was so bad today had to socialize w family which went ok but not ideal situation for me after#might see a friend tomorrow n walk my dog n thats makin me anxious for a few reasons but mostly cuz idk how to talk to my friends anymore#for reasons that arent even only just me being a freak#the next day im having cavities fixed n itll take hrs#i rly to set up a dr appointment n its been ages cuz even for a normal appointment its v stressful n scary n bad for me#for a variety of reasons but i also just fuckin hate it#n this is cuz i think there coulddd be smth more serious goin on that ive been trying to ignore n avoid bringing up#cuz what if it is actually smth#n i cant even go on abt that rn (tired) but ive been..thinkin abt it#aaaand i need to try n get an appointment w a psychiatrist so i can maybe get back on meds again cuz i think itd be a good idea#like i think on em i didnt think they made a big difference but i feel like im way worse now off em so#n i hope i dont have to go thru the regular dr abt that cuz i got my refills thru them but i guess ill be seein her anyway n overwhelmed!!!#oh n the friend thing is scary cuz my lil group is all broken up now n i feel like im choosing sides when i hang out w some of em now#which sucks so thats the main thing abt that. ok enough bye <3#idk what the original post not the tags even meant im tryin to be . positive! or smth jeez :/#dlt ltr !
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me: makes a tasty looking recipe from supermarket magazine
me: makes correction notes on the recipe like i’m a spiteful teacher of 14 year olds out to make somebody cry so when i do it next time it’s a lot less shit
#u always have to do these things twice#i s2g#like WHY did you add so much jam ???#pointless#i halved it in my corrections#also i kind of actually ignored the recipe to start with and if i had listened it would probs have been inedible so it's#a good job i did#sometimes these mags have great Ideas (like this one) it just#needs a lot of tweaks to actually work#(this wasn't even a question of personal taste#the thing ended up So Wet some of it was not cooking#jeez)
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so apparently if I want an adhd assessment I have two options, private or this one local place. I can't do private bc literally who can afford that, but like, this local place is GARBAGE. I went there for help with my anxiety and phobia back when I was like 11, and after the first session they straight up said they didn't know how to help, then they started to blame everything on me being underweight and were pressuring me into gaining weight (when this was out of my control) by telling me they'd admit me into hospital if I didn't and saying all the shit they'd do in hospital to scare me. which just stressed me out way more obv. so I just quit. and anyway when my doctor contacted them and sent my adhd questionnaire they just responded basically saying they dont think I need an assessment, despite me answering like "yes" and "very often" to pretty much everything except stuff affected by my anxiety. which im already diagnosed with. so im like 100% sure going there is gonna be pointless.
#also literally over half their reviews are 1 star Jesus christ#also they like kept trying to do this thing where they wanted me to draw and personify my phobia#except I didn't know how to do that but they just kept insisting I did#I had literally no idea why they wanted me to do that anyway I think its a thing they do with younger kids#they clearly didn't know what else to do bc they just kept pushing that one thing til they gave up and moved onto weight#oh jeez I am so sorry this turned into a whole vent#I did NOT mean to type that much omg#crow talks#vent
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