#jason todd and his motorcycle

[missingnightwingsmullet]

a boy and his bike

[ditzybat]

dick: you need your license revoked, your driving is absolutely heinous, jay

jason: that’s fair, i’m pretty sure my permit is expired

dick: i’m almost scared to ask… permit?

jason: not much time to learn how to drive in between dying and being resurrected

dick: oh my god

jason, literally seconds away from hitting bruce with his car: you’re looking at a man with exactly one shitty walmart parking lot driving lesson under his belt

[birdean]

“They hate me now.”

Once again thinking about Future State: Gotham…

[frogaroundandfindout]

Using a dagger, redhood cuts through Batman’s utility belt. The two fight on a rooftop then plunge to the street below (Batman #635)

[jennrypan]

Jason: I need a thousand dollars, B.

Bruce: Jason, no. Why do you even need that kind of money right now?

Jason: Remember when you threw a battarang at my neck? Cuz I remember that..hurt like hell.

Bruce:

Bruce: A..A thousands fine..

Jason: Ya know, triple it. Just for havin that traumatic memory come up again.

Bruce:..Okay

Jason: :)

[twsssmlmaa]

Jason Todd is best friends to lovers

Red Hood is enemies/rivals/ANIMOSITY to lovers

(Or as I like to call it sweetheart derogatory to sweetheart affectionate (and yet still derogatory))

[ambrosethedarling]

“Having trained with masters across the world, proficient in over 120 combat techniques with an assassin’s accuracy in all manner of weapons, the Red Hood remains one of Batman’s most dangerous foes.”

[alt version under cut]

[curious-trickster]

For everyone who wants to read a fic which focuses on the relationship between Tim and Damian, the importance of motorcycles for Tim's mental health and Dick and Jason being good older brothers (though Jason is a little shit).

20,111 words, 4 chapters, a rekindled relationship.

[boiling-paint]

"Jason cooks!" "Jason loves reading!" Jason Todd prefers cinnamon chapstick and genuinely enjoys ginger candy. I'll die on this hill.

[foolnamedjoey]

JASON TODD IS A CHAPPELL ROAN GIRLY POP

[tesalicious2]

I like to think that whenever Jason picks up any of his siblings, when he’s in the car or on his bike. He’ll go ‘get in/on loser. We’re going shopping’

Everyone finds it annoying and funny. Jason did it to Alfred once, who found it quite funny.

I also like to think that Jason is much more fun to ride a motorcycle with.

Everyone in the Batfam rides like they want to live but be efficient.

Jason rides like a man with nothing to lose and will break speed limits like it a game score. He goes 100 for laughs and pops wheelies for shits.

[heavysighing-dreamyeyes]

Random Headcannons

Ahem, now that the event is over, here are some of my personal Jason Todd headcannons for your consideration:

He's always going to be taller than you. Doesn't matter if you're 5'2" or 6'0". He's simply taller than you, and he's buying boots with 4" platforms to really seal the deal

Jason loves any nickname you call him. Call him Jay, Jace, or any pet name and term of endearment. It'll make his heart skip a beat, and his eyes go starry. His name never sounds so pretty than when it's falling from your lips

Serial Hand Kisser. He's kissing your knuckles, your fingertips, the back of your hand, your palm, your wrist. He doesn't even need an excuse or reason to do it. He'll just be sitting on the couch reading, and your palm is pressed to his mouth the entire time.

Drags you out into the rain with him to dance. Yes, you introduced him to the joy of spinning under the cloudy skies, but he's the one who pulls you out from under cover every time it starts to drizzle.

This happens even if you're in your apartment, when the storm starts. You have a fire escape and a roof for a reason, and you're going to use it

He has a bit of sweet tooth, and it's entirely Alfreds fault. Even if you dont like sweets, he's going to convert you. Jason will find the recipe that changes your mind to at least enjoying his baking

You'll have to actively convince him to let you backpack on his motorcycle. Bikes can be dangerous, no matter how safe he is, other drivers won't always be

If you manage to convince him, you're going to wear all the protective gear, and he's taking you onto back roads outside of Gotham to practice leaning into turns safely before he drives you anywhere near the city streets

Will fully lay on top of you when you start sharing a bed. He's a cuddler, and that's not a crime. (Sure, he won't do it every night, he likes it when you sleep on his chest, too. But he will smother sleep on you)

[hanasnx]

Hop hop 🐇 strutting around Jay's apartment in nothing but panties and his leather jacket that's still warm from his body 🐇 hop hop

-doe 🐾

JASON TODD shirtless and in gray sweatpants and a thin silver chain around his neck, manspreading in his seat as he annotates on some blueprints. The Bat left quite an impression on him, including his knack for being thorough. The cap of his sharpie sits between his teeth, the soft squeaking of the marker scribbling on parchment filling the room. Even though you got laid this morning, you should be good, but instead you’re especially needy. He’d gotten back a little bit ago from picking up those blueprints, and the leather bike jacket he wore on his motorcycle ride had been thrown on the bed haphazardly. Crawling out in just your undies, you were chilly, so you put the jacket on. It sat on your shoulders like a curtain. Heavy, and huge, and stiff. Still warm from his body heat, it provided enough protection to pad out to see him.

It takes him a second to notice you, and when he does, that famous grin stretches onto his lips. Hopelessly attractive with defined dimples and smile lines that could kill, crookedly smiling at you with that cap in between his pearly white teeth. “What’re you doin’ over there, baby? C’mere.” He snips the cap from his mouth between his fingers like a cigarette, and you obediently come to his beckoning hand and inviting lap. You sit on his thigh, and the rigid material of the jacket stands up on its own. He snickers at you. “Whose jacket is that, babycakes?”

Timidly, you concede, “My Jay’s…”

It amuses him further, giving you a soft look with a flash of his raised brows. “Yeah? S’your Jay’s?” he mimics your melodic response in a twinge of a mocking tone out of endearment. “It’s, uh, little big for you, huh? Your Jay a big guy?” He wasn’t gonna let this go, and you fidget with your hands, looking up at him with those glossy doe-eyes. While he talks, a single finger moves aside the leather to get a peek at your bare chest.

“Huge.” you tell him with stars in your eyes, gesturing size with your hands, and it makes him laugh again, particularly inclined to adore you with a kiss on your cheek.

[miryum]

☆ 18+ minors dni ☆

Mechanic!Jason Todd who had inherited the shop from his (biological) father and was able to turn it in a large shop that employed numerous people and branched four locations

Mechanic!Jason Todd who preferred to work on cars and bikes rather than the financial/business side of things, so he employed his adopted brother, Tim, to be co-owner

Mechanic!Jason Todd who was known to his employees as a chill boss and regularly didn’t even tell customers he was the owner. His employees came to him when they needed advice on a client’s car, but other than that, he liked to simply work on his motorcycle

Mechanic!Jason Todd who didn’t actually meet you because you had car troubles. Your sister had just moved to Gotham and some of her dashboard lights were on. She wanted you to come with her to make sure she wasn’t getting scammed. A friend of a friend recommended Red’s Garage and so there you went

Mechanic!Jason Todd who wasn’t even working when you two rolled up in your sister’s old car. He was taking a break and chatting with some of his employees 

Mechanic!Jason Todd who, when he saw you, immediately pushed off from the break table and went over to help you. He wasn’t sure why he suddenly wanted to help a customer while he was on break, but he left the conversation he was in and headed over

Mechanic!Jason Todd who just kinda… appeared, as it seemed to you. He hovered around your sister’s car, listening into his employee’s analysis. The moment his employee stuttered, Jason was swooping at the chance, inserting himself into the conversation 

Mechanic!Jason Todd who gave your sister a discount and walked her through the steps in a way where you thought he has a crush on her, even though he couldn’t look at you otherwise he would be stammering over his words and falling at your feet

Mechanic!Jason Todd who actually waved you and your sister goodbye like a damn person from the 30s

Mechanic!Jason Todd who ignored Tim when he teased him about it

Mechanic!Jason Todd who beat himself up about not asking for your number but was rewarded by Aphrodite because you came in two weeks later, smiling sheepishly. It turned out that something was wrong with your car, but you had no idea what it was. Nevermind that your father was alive and loving and would’ve rushed over to help with any car problems. You wanted to spend a ton of money on a car check-up

Mechanic!Jason Todd who tried to remain all composed and professional and failing miserably but you were looking up at him with those eyes of yours and how did the world function when you looked that damn pretty? 

Mechanic!Jason Todd who slipped you his number on the receipt when you checked out because it’s once in a lifetime that things like this happen and he’ll be damned if you slipped through his fingers twice

Mechanic!Jason Todd who spent the rest of his day compulsively checking his phone. What he didn’t know was that you had almost thrown out the receipt, not noticing his number on it. Luckily (or perhaps it was just Aphrodite interfering again), you noticed the messy scrawl of pen as it floated into the recycling bin and that lead you to frantically grabbing it out of the bin and immediately making a new contact labelled ‘Jason aka Hot Mechanic’

Mechanic!Jason Todd who was with his last client of the day when you texted. After he smiled widely and giddily typed out a response, the client had asked, “oh, is that your wife?” Jason had mumbled out a response before one of his employees saved him and ushered Jason off to the break table while they finished up with the client

Mechanic!Jason Todd who, when he showed up at the zoo for your first date, wanted to bring flowers but then he rationalised that he wouldn’t want you carrying them around the entire time so he would just buy you a plushie from the gift shop when the time came. He had given you the option to choose the location for the first date, and being utterly adorable, you said you wanted to see the animals with him. Jason had agreed before the words registered with him. He wasn’t sure exactly how to dress for a first date, much less one at the zoo, so he opted for a red flannel and jeans. He had spent around ten minutes with his hands under the hot water of his bathroom sink, trying to scrub away the seemingly-permanent grease that lived on his fingertips and under his nails. He wouldn’t dare touch you with those hands. You didn’t deserve to get dirty 

Mechanic!Jason Todd who forgot all anxieties when he saw you approaching. Your little awkward wave was returned by one of his own which led to your laugh. Maybe Jason could wave again if it meant you would laugh again. He decided against it. He couldn’t remember a time he had over-analysed a date before

Mechanic!Jason Todd who spent more time looking at you than looking at the animals. Whenever you teased him about it, his go-to argument was that you were much more gorgeous or much more interesting than the animals. And if that meant he got to see you get all flustered, then so be it

Mechanic!Jason Todd who bought you that promised plushie at the gift shop. It was a snow leopard, just like the one you two saw roaming around in it’s exhibit

Mechanic!Jason Todd who, after a few more dates, asked you to be his girlfriend, not knowing that ever since you had gotten that snow leopard, had changed his contact to ‘Jay’ with a little heart emoji next to it

Mechanic!Jason Todd who was possibly the best boyfriend you had ever had. Routine dates became a thing – ones that didn’t feel like an obligation, but like a break from the rest of your life. You wondered how much he spent on flowers just from the sheer amount that would show up on your doorstep just because. A text every morning and goodnight until he was listed as the top contact in your phone

Mechanic!Jason Todd who showed you off around the shop. He wanted his girl to feel comfortable enough to just pop in whenever you wanted, so of course that’s what happened. You would either sit in Jason’s office or would sit next to him while he worked on a car. Sometimes, he would ask you for a tool, but most of the time, you would just ramble to him and he would throw in a comment here and there

Mechanic!Jason Todd who made sure your car was in tip-top shape, obviously

Mechanic!Jason Todd who loved to take you on rides on his motorcycle. He loved to feel your arms around him and your thighs pressed into his. He loved how you would tighten your hold when he went around corners or sped up a little. He loved how you claimed his extra helmet as yours and no one else's. He loved seeing other bikers check you out and how his hand would slip back to your thigh, showing you were his. He loved seeing girls gawk at him through their car windows before they saw you possessively bring your hands to his chest and stare them down. He loved how, at stoplights, you would slide your hands up and down his thighs slowly, testing how close you could get to his crotch before his chin dropped to his chest in defeat and weakly batted your hands away. He loved how he could bend you over his motorcycle and how, that one time, you shyly asked if he could keep his helmet on during sex

Mechanic!Jason Todd who really really liked you and his motorcycle, in case that wasn’t clear

Mechanic!Jason Todd who was a bit rougher and much more of a tease than any other variant. He liked knowing how it was him that could draw out those sounds from you. How he could make you clench around his fingers, his tongue, his dick

Mechanic!Jason Todd who stayed at your place a couple nights and then offered to have you stay at his place for a couple nights and he oh-so badly wanted you to move in so you could be a part of his home. He was already beginning to associate you with that word, so what was the issue? He could come home and see you and hold you and love you and it would be perfect

Mechanic!Jason Todd who brushed away your worries at it being too early to move in together. He wanted you to be comfortable, of course, and not to be rushed, but he would be lying if a part of him could only be satisfied going to sleep next to you and waking up next to you. He craved that domesticity 

Mechanic!Jason Todd who, once you agreed to move in, christened every room of the house, praising you this way and that

Mechanic!Jason Todd who was much happier around the garage. Tim had to pull him into his office and tell him to “stop giving out so many discounts. Yes, your girlfriend is wonderful, but we’re soon gonna lose money if you don’t stop. Yes, you can still brag about her, but rent money, Jason. Think about the paychecks.”

Mechanic!Jason Todd who, honestly, didn’t give a fuck if the garage tanked. Because it would give him more time to spend with you. But once he realised that he wouldn’t be able to provide for you (although you were very capable of doing it yourself, there was just this primal need in him to take care of you), he quickly got back to work and ceased the discounts

Mechanic!Jason Todd who thanked Aphrodite every night he got to pull you close to him and feel you relax into his arms before drifting off to sleep, that plush snow leopard having its coveted spot on your dresser

can you guys tell i like motorcycles and the greek gods?

[axjil]

꒰꒰ ─✰ jason todd loving you to the moon and back┆彡

jason todd craving a sense of normalcy with his civilian lover, you.

jason todd bringing you on late night motorcycle rides. he always ensures your arms are wrapped tightly around his waist and never letting go.

jason todd always linking his pinky with yours when walking side-by-side. if you’re walking on the pavement he always makes sure that you’re away from the curb.

jason todd volunteering to help you put your lipstick on if you wear makeup.

jason todd buying you those pair of earrings you were staring a little too longingly at through the window of the jewelry shop the previous week.

jason todd bonding with you over reading. one day, he surprised you by handing you your favorite book which he bought and annotated all by himself, filled to the brim with his scrawny handwriting on every page.

jason todd planning spontaneous dates to take you on no matter how busy he can get.

jason todd leaving notes all around your apartment complimenting you. he likes to write love letters too.

jason todd stalking your spotify account to see what songs you regularly listen to.

jason todd treasures domesticity with you. whether its baking something or watching a movie at home.

jason todd always insists on paying for your meals no matter how many times you try to fight back. he always strives to provide for you.

jason todd is addicted to kissing you. on your lips, nose, forehead, and especially the back of your hand.

jason todd making you feel like you’re on top of the world. he’ll do anything and everything to see you smile.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[kenobers]

magic hands | Jason Todd x Sionis!Reader

but first free palestine !! Your regularly scheduled hook-up session with Jason Todd is rudely interrupted by the arrival of your period. As tragedy strikes, you have to ask Jason to buy you pads, perhaps throwing a curveball in your still emerging relationship. this installment comes before this one; you don't know jason is red hood in this one (not that it really matters to this particular story) tw: periods, mentions of drugging, reader having issues with acts of service, afab readera/n: i'm writing additions to this story completely out of order because i can. don't worry - you're gonna be the one comforting jason soon, just stay tuned. and if you're following me for the obi-wan content, i promise you'll also be fed soon. the sionis!reader concept was inspired by this ask on gilverrwrites' blog! In hindsight, it might've been kinda weird of me, but i couldn't get the concept out of my head. thank you to gilverr and anon! please check out their blog!

Yo

You cringe a little at your choice of words, wishing you'd thought harder before sending the text. Well actually, you cringe at the entire situation. You despise having to ask for help, but you're a little desperate.

Would you-

Too entitled.

Would you mind-

Passive aggressive.

Will-

Your phone buzzes before you can finish typing.

yo.

That was fast.

You take a deep breath. Jason was coming over anyway and it wasn't like you were in any position to have sex like you were planning to. And this constitutes as a bit of an emergency, considering you're currently sitting on a wad of toilet paper.

Can you pick me up some pads?

You hit send and drop your phone on your bed. This is so embarrassing for no reason. Jason's a good guy, he isn't going to judge you for being on your period of all things. He's not going to hold it against you if you can't have sex either.

It was just that you weren't sure your relationship was...like that. Acts of service and all that. A month ago, you wouldn't have even considered asking him to do this. But you'd been a lot more personal with one another lately. Making dinner, staying the night, being physically affectionate while your clothes were still on.

Your phone vibrates and you frantically feel for the purple case in the grey and white sheets. You'll deal with that giddy feeling later.

i don't know, can i?

Fucker, you think, glaring at your screen. You start furiously forming a response about how you aren't in the fucking mood for this when your phone buzzes again.

yeah, of course i can. need anything else? painkillers? chocolate?

You eye the empty bottle on your nightstand. Your stomach cramps painfully.

I'm out of ibuprofen

Then you consider for a moment. With a sigh, you bite back your pride. Well, if he's offering.

...and maybe some ice cream.

you got it babe.

Babe. Heat rushes to your cheeks as the corners of your mouth twitch upwards.

Ten minutes later his name flashes on your screen again, along with a photo of a wall of pads.

which kind

Damn, he was kind of good at this. A flare of jealousy burns through you at the thought of Jason doing this for some other girl. Another feeling you'll deal with later. You circled your preferred brand and send it back.

check. headed your way shawty.

After another ten minutes, the rumbling of a motorcycle echoes through your street. Nine minutes and 45 seconds later, the sound of your living room window sliding open lures you from your bed.

You fight back a goofy grin at the sight of Jason's large-than-life frame slipping through the window, two plastic bags balanced in one gloved hand. Leaning against your kitchen island, you allow yourself a second to admire the curve of his ass in those joggers.

"Hey," you greet, shivering as a gust of wind followed the man. He gives you a toothy grin, sliding the window shut. With a dramatic flourish of his arm, he presents the drugstore bag to you.

"Your essentials, m'lady."

"Oh, my hero," you giggle, taking the bag gratefully. You eye the second bag suspiciously, although the telltale red thank you print and the smell of fried rice give the contents away. "Chinese?"

"Chinese," he confirms. "And before you say anything, I was already picking it up when you texted."

You purse your lips. He was starting to know you too well. You would've said something, would've lied about how you weren't hungry. The idea that he'd already thought to do something nice for you before he even knew about your situation makes your stomach twist.

Jason takes a step closer, trapping you between him and the island. He reaches behind you to set the food on the counter, green eyes trained on your face. It's hard not to shrink below his quizzical gaze. Goosebumps cover your bicep as the leather of his jacket rubs against your bare arm.

Bastard.

"That okay, pretty girl?"

Fuck, he's handsome. He knows it too, know to flick his dark hair just so. Knows how to look at you so that any "oh, you shouldn't have" argument you can conjure up falters before it can reach your tongue. It certainly doesn't help that he's flexing the arm reaching behind you just so.

"Perfect, even," you purr, uncrossing your arms to play with his jacket zipper. "How much do I owe you?"

"Don't worry about it." You try not to roll your eyes at him, reminding yourself that you were opting to be nicer to him tonight. He is your hero after all. His hands fall to your hips, his thumbs running along the bone. "How you feeling?"

You shrug, suppressing another shiver as his pinkie pokes below the length of your shorts.

"Shitty. Like everything hurts," you answer honestly. Your lip twitches and you abandon his jacket zipper in favor of the strings of his sweatshirt.

"'m sorry we can't, y'know, do what we planned." The apology floods abruptly from your lips. "I would offer to do it anyways, but I just, I-I can't with these cramps." Your hips twinge with pain to emphasize your point. "But, I mean, I can blow you if you really want-"

"Hey."

Two fingers tilt your chin up, tough leather juxtaposing soft skin. You hadn't even realized you'd stopped looking at his face. He's smiling at you.

"Don't worry about it," he says for the second time. "Lemme make you feel better. It'll piss Roman off just as much."

You both look pointedly at the bookshelf you're fairly certain your father had hidden some sort of recording device.

"Besides," he continues with a wolfish smirk. "I've become accustomed to a certain level of performance from you and I'm not sure if I'd receive that if you're not at your peak."

"Fine, only because you insisted," you sigh. "And I'm gonna do you a favor and ignore that last part." You turn away from him, fishing the package of pads and the ibuprofen out of the drugstore bag. "I'm gonna go...yeah."

You wave the package in the air as you head for the bathroom. With your back turned, you don't catch Jason saluting you.

When you return, you notice one of the books on the shelf has been inconspicuously placed over a Wonder Woman knick knack. Part of you is relieved to know your father can't spy on you tonight. Another part of you feels a pang of anxiety knowing that means tonight is just for the two of you to enjoy each other's company. As people. Not fuckbuddies.

This is still casual. Professional, you tell yourself. It's not like he's my boyfriend.

You turn to the kitchen, where Jason is pulling plates out of a cupboard, and ignoring the smaller voice that wouldn't mind him being your boyfriend.

He hands the plates to you, letting you dish the both of you up.

Jason sidles up behind you, pressing his chest to your back. You lean into him, letting him support your weight.

"Chinese was a good call," you say. He hums in response, dipping his hands under your shirt to rub your sides. You yelp in alarm as something wet hits your skin.

"Dude! What the fuck!"

Jason backs up, holding two cream covered hands in the air. He looks apologetic enough, but still smirks at the way you glowered at him over your shoulder. It's an awful cute look when it isn't coming from behind an ugly ass skull mask.

"It's just CBD."

You spin around, pointing your spoon straight at his heart.

"CBD- what, are you trying to get me high?"

It's all Jason can do not to double over laughing. He'd take a picture if he wasn't certain you would find a way to lodge that spoon in a major artery.

His laughter has you fidgeting nervously, trying to maintain your hard stare.

"Don't laugh at me."

To his credit, he stops almost immediately. He straightens his posture and gestures to a small round container on the counter.

"It's just a lotion. Helps with joint pain, I use it all the time. I thought it might help with cramps."

You blink. That was...incredibly thoughtful of him.

"Oh."

You turn back to the food, continuing your task sheepishly. All you ever do in front of this man is embarrass yourself. And orgasm.

He creeps back to his spot cautiously. You glance over your shoulder, briefly meeting his eyes.

"You can...continue," you tell him, your tone much softer now. He presses a kiss to the exposed junction of your neck and slides his hands back under your shirt.

It does feel nice to have him massage the cool lotion into your aching body. His fingers seem to know exactly where to go, undoing the built up tension and leaving a light buzz in its place.

"I'm sorry I snapped like that," you whisper. "I overheard some of my dad's idiots talking about some kind of lube that's infused with LSD or something. Apparently it's becoming a popular method for people to get what they want so...little on edge."

After a moment, Jason speaks again, "I wouldn't drug you like that, you know."

"What, topically?" You scoff, dividing the orange chicken equally.

"Without your consent."

You pause. You suppose you hadn't given much thought to how much Jason respected you in that regard. To be fair, you'd never really been around men that respected you at all.

"Well, that's good to know." It's not the most sensitive response, but you're sudden determined to move on from the conversation before you start oversharing. "Let's eat, big guy."

After dinner, Jason applies the lotion again. This time, you're sat on the couch between his legs as he drives the stuff into a knot on your hip. The TV drones with some black comedy series the two of you have been watching at the recommendation of one of his brothers.

"Do you get a lot of joint pain?" You ask suddenly, looking back at him. He doesn't tear his eyes away from the screen.

"Huh?"

"You said you use it a lot on your joints. Do you get a lot of joint pain?" Now he looks at you, one slit eyebrow raised. For a moment you watch him try to remember when he told you that. Then he smirks, a silly view from upside down.

"I do whenever you get through with me," he says, his chest vibrating under you. You give him a look. "Sometimes after the gym, yeah."

You're not quite sure you believe him, but you let it slide, turning back to the TV in time to see your least favorite character earn a smack to the face.

"It was nice of you to bring it."

"'s helping?"

"Mmh," You sigh as he works a particularly tough spot. Your relief is short lived however as the small of your back cramps up. A small gasp escapes you and you squirm and swear in Jason's arms.

He pauses his work on your hips.

"Where's it hurt?"

"Back," you whimper, turning over so he can get to it. He obliges immediately, rubbing the butt of his palm into the sore spot. You groan into his chest, melting beneath his magic hands. "The fuck did I ever manage this shit before you."

He snorts, "very bravely, I'm sure."

You smile at his answer. Clever boy. You reward him with a kiss, pleased when he returns it in kind. His hand doesn't stop its work on your back as his soft lips move gently with your own.

"You sure you don't want a blowjob?" you murmur against his mouth.

Jason nods, giving you another chaste kiss before pulling away. "You're in pain, sweetheart. Let yourself rest."

He moves his lips to your ear, lowering his voice.

"Now, how about that ice cream, hm?"

Absolute professional.