#james freaking potter

[wordsofwilderness]

James dragging Regulus off to their bedroom to cuddle and Regulus thinking he's getting laid. This definitely happened at least once.

But the opposite of Regulus dragging James to the bedroom to fuck and James getting excited over the impending cuddle session? Yeah no, that definitely happened too

[prongss78]

pov waiting in line for books

sirius: james, this is my brother, regulus- can you just stand with him for a sec while i say hi to moony? thanks, bye

regulus: ..i don't need a babysitter??

james: hi! nice to meet you, i'm-

regulus: didn't ask and also, don't care

james:

*later*

sirius: oh, james! how did you like regulus? he's a little shy sometimes so-

james: i'm in love with him

sirius:

sirius: what

[jjkyaoi]

regulus: sorry if i look weird today

james: don’t worry about it i would literally let you pluck my eyeballs from their sockets and put them in a stew

regulus:

regulus, flattered; well first of all chill out

[yallthemwitches]

Jily finding out Lily is pregnant after coming back injured from a mission and the Order healer tending to her flippantly says, "well at least they didn't hurt the baby!"

[maxdibert]

Harry: wtf is wrong with you stripping Snape in front of the whole school what the fucking hell????????

Sirius and Remus: Well ya know Harry, just boy things, boys will be boys lololol and Snape was creepy and weird you know lololol we were boys lololol just boys lololol Snape creep and greasy lolololol

Harry: I am literally a boy and I'm not a piece of shit what the hell are you even saying? You're both 35 fucking years old don't you have anything better??? like WHAT. THE. FUCKING. HELL.

And this is literally what happened in an R-rated version of HP.

[mooonyagedaydream]

obsessed with the rosier twins being little freaks. they wear animal bones as necklace's and dissect animals in their free time. They are both obsessed with the paranormal and pretend to be possessed to scare their spouses. They both have heterochromia in opposite eyes (one blue one brown) and they often get in trouble for saying they switched eachother s eyes just to mess with the first years

[ultravioletbrit]

“avoid” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 338 words

Regulus locked himself in their bedroom and has been pacing nonstop. How could he have been so stupid? What could have possibly possessed him to– okay, he knows what possessed him. James Potter possessed him. James Potter possessed him the moment Regulus met him, so it was only a matter of time before–

Regulus’ spiraling thoughts are interrupted by another light knock on the door.

“C’mon Reg, please? Please, just talk to me.” James begs softly. “You can’t stay in there forever.”

“Watch me.” Regulus continues to pace.  

“You have to eat. Go to work. See your friends…”

“There’s a window.” Regulus says.    

“You would climb out a third story window just to avoid this?” James asks.  

“Do you know me at all? I would burn this entire flat down, with you in it, to avoid this.” Regulus tells him and he can hear James huff a small laugh.

Regulus rolls his eyes picturing the ridiculous smirk spreading across James’ face. Why his murderous tendencies are a turn on for James, Regulus will never know.

“Does it help if I say, ‘I love you, too’?” James says softly.   

Regulus freezes in his pacing and stares at the door. It takes a moment to remember how to move his feet but eventually he walks to the door and opens it a crack to peek out at James.

“Really?” He asks quietly and James smiles and nods. “Well, why didn’t you just say that!” Regulus yells and flings the door open the rest of the way.

“Because your dramatic arse ran away before I could say anything and then I didn’t want to say it to a door.” James exclaims walking into the room.  

“Well, you’re not on the other side of the door now.” Regulus continues to yell.  

“No, I’m not.” James’ voice softens.

“So…?” Regulus puts his hands on his hips.   

“So, what?” James wraps his arms around Regulus’ waist.

“James.” Regulus huffs.  

“I love you, too, Regulus.” James smiles and leans down to capture Regulus in a soft, sweet kiss.   

[dyl-z]

280 | 281 | 282

[that-bitch-kat3]

james and sirius really do match each others freaks and i love them for that

[daddiesdrarryy]

James: What the hell is this? Why are there handcuffs on Regulus’s bed?

Peter: Hey! Handcuffs! And fur line, nice! I didn’t know you and Regulus had it in you!

Sirius: …

Sirius: Prongs, you don’t have a brother so you can’t understand how much this bums me out

James: I didn’t know Regulus had these!

Remus: Maybe he used them with an ex boyfriend

Peter: Maybe Barty!

James: Why would he use them with Barty and not me? I can be kinky! I once did a naked dance for him! With scarves!

Sirius: Bumming hard, guys, bumming hard

[prongss78]

[neverenoughmarauders]

[claudiadiary]

art cr: kovacseema

[unnecessaryheadache]

Upon request, I've decided to extend on this: what if Snape never got the dark mark? thingie

So. Severus faints, and for a second, nothing registers. But then, the shock wears off and soon Remus is scrambling to stand up while his panicked hands hover over the slumped-over body on the carpet. Okay, okay, Severus might've had a bit too much to drink.

If he could defend himself, he'd say that having heavy conversations in a bar makes drinking portions look extremely minuscule. He'd also bite at the pair of hands gripping him urgently by his forearms and hauling him over broad shoulders. But, y'know, being passed out doesn't exactly let you keep that privilege.

Like any normal human being, Severus wakes up in the morning with a pounding headache and the belief that he is alone in his house, HIS house that HE owned ALONE. Why would there be people inside of his humble abode? Another question he asked himself when he heard whispers of a conversation taking place in HIS kitchen and the chime of HIS very fancy and comforting cookware being used.

Just like last night, which Severus barely remembered, he was greeted by a scarred man and a black-haired guy who looked very, very displeased. What the HELL was HE annoyed for? He was the one prancing around Severus' house with some kid in his arms—

Who's kid was that?!

Scarred man— okay, Remus Lupin — proceeded to explain himself. He didn't do it very well. Severus wanted to sleep halfway through the explanation (how he loathed when a man mansplained). So he turned to Mr. My-Hair-Is-Cleaner-Than-Yours-Ho for a paraphrased version of what his wolf friend was trying to say.

"James and Lily are dead."

...

Three years. Wasted.

"This is Harry, their kid. He's...the only one who survived."

Severus staggered to sit down, his head bowed, eyes stuck on the patterns covering his wood table.

"It was Voldemort. Voldemort did it and the only reason...the only reason he did— the only reason he was able to—"

He pressed his forehead against the table as his eyes stung with tears.

"PETER"

Severus shut his eyes tightly.

"...get out."

[ezkel]

true romance (knife edition)

[viviandarkbloombartylusversion]

Bartylus but they meet an institution for troubled children. Regulus had gotten overstimulated and upset and bit the nearest person's ear off at school. Barty threatened to blow up his school with a bomb he built in his bedroom. Obviously their parents just sent them away, needing to let someone else whip their children into shape.

(Sirius had already been there for a year after he pranked a teacher so bad that they quit teaching in general. Evan and Pandora land themselves there not long after for performing "disturbing" experiments with animals and insects that they also use to scare other kids. James' parents make the hard decision to send him there when a student he bullied killed themselves)