#ive been going on a lot of rants lately. but its all been stuff that i realized i should put in an actual post bc there will always be-

[justladders]

First off, I want to second the thing about tiktok. Unless it is literally your job to market for a company or something, that platform is so extremely blood-sucking. Beyond everything else about it, creators are forced to constantly post, constantly shift to do what's popular for attention in the algorithm, etc. An incredibly easy way to burn out and be down on yourself if you aren't keeping it up. Just don't do it.

But what I find to be very important to realize and applicable to a lot of artists is that, because of what they have seen or been told, they have started to prioritize numbers over what they originally went online for: sharing.

It is incredibly easy on social media to compare yourself to other people -and their numbers- which is what everyone always says you should never do. One of my own friends mentioned to me that they were disheartened when something of mine got attention because their stuff "doesn't do as well." It's not that I don't understand why they want engagement, it's that the comparison is damaging and pointless because there will always be someone with a more popular post, with art that more people seem to like, with stuff that more people will engage with. What you have to realize is that doesn't make them "better." Even if you're considered a popular artist, there may be times where you make something that doesn't get as much attention as before, in which case the person you're comparing yourself to is yourself, which is still the same principle:

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

Share your ideas and your art that you enjoy, and the people that like it will find it, and people will echo appreciation and ideas, and a group or community of like-minded individuals may start to form, and you can make new friends, and you can find ideas/inspiration/new media through those people and what they share, and the list goes on. If one amount of engagement is higher than another, that doesn't stop any of this from happening anywhere else. And this could just be like 5 people. It doesn't have to be 5000.

A quick aside about Tumblr. I've been on a number of social medias to share art, but over time I always end up finding it incredibly easy to just drift off of those platforms. They always go the same way: "post, get some likes/shares, post again." Tumblr has been the only one where I've found actual engagement easier, especially in the form of asks, which is much more fun. It's like the difference between "passing a friend and waving hello" and "passing a friend, but stopping to ask about that new game they just got, make an in-joke, suggest a movie to watch later, then do a silly handshake."

Now, I want you to consider this - you, the creative reading this that is constantly comparing themselves:

Imagine that there was no way to check the "numbers" on the engagement you get. You can still see interactions and respond and whatnot, but there's no way to quantify it. And now imagine that there's no way for you to check other people's numbers. You can never know if anyone else's stuff has gotten more attention than you.

Would you be content with the people that are there that want to engage with you? If there was no metric for comparison, would you be upset about the amount of attention you aren't getting? Would you be happier responding to the engagement you do get if you weren't wishing there was as much as someone else?

If you find that this applies, I have a trick for you. Just pretend like the numbers don't matter so you can be happier. Then, through the experience of it, you can come to realize that they really don't matter. And then you won't have to pretend. And then you can be happy.

also we fucked up as a society the moment we started telling teens and aspiring artists to conflate being an artist with building a brand as if the two things are inextricable. the name of the game if you want to share your art is to work a job and sell yourself as aesthetizied content. back in my day we could just POST SHIT. to deviantart! what the fuck!

[thebirdandhersong]

Lol

[youredreamingofroo]

Living life happily knowing that I love listening to all kinds of music, that I don't restrict my listening experience and try listening to as many artists and genres as I can- Even if I don't know if I'll like it, I still try it because at least then I tried, and didn't back out. There's not a lot of moments in my life where I can comfortably try and not back out because I get nervous or uncomfortable.

[generationa1trauma]

flatmate has a girl over i am suddenly extremely uncomfortable

[h0rr0rsaxo]

Real (a little rant of mine below, i start complaining on it so just.. ignore it lmfao)

I know life is full of goodbyes and hellos and sometimes you go away from people you love and sometimes they go away from you and that’s the way things are but I just hate it. I hate saying goodbye I hate letting go. I hate missing people.

[floatingshark]

This has been in my head for like weeks and it's what makes me struggle to actually finish arcane LMFAO. For context ive been mostly interacting with arcane stuff on tiktok and ive seen some stuff and opinions that doesn't sit well with me.

also on another note i havent fully finished arcane, i stopped at s2 ep6 so ep7 to 9 i have no prior knowledge apart from spoilers i got bc of arcane edits.

and on one last note, if you disagree or agree with me in this you're free to express it. just be civil. we can all be adults and we know how to understand so just mind your words bc people on tiktok state their opinion so aggressively, it is not needed. we dont need that energy here.

okay so with that out of the way, like i said ive seen a lot of tiktoks lately and i want to kind of speak my mind (technically rant) about some of the discourse regarding characters and whatnot. This is going to be long.

also, spoilers.

so first up is caitlyn. How do i start?

Caitlyn:

I do love caitlyn... in season 1.

in s2 not so much but hear me out. a lot of people have been debating on her actions and how half the fandom hate her, half love her (some a little,,, off putting but ill get into that later) and here's my unneeded take. I don't think its valid. like her actions in s2 are so morally wrong it blows my mind.

first of all, Im not going to say that its ooc of her because that doesnt make sense to say. this cant be ooc (in my perspective) because we have never seen caitlyn angry to the point of doing this. this is our (or my) first time seeing her go through grief this bad that it has her making decisions we dont particularly agree with or is objectively right to do. we cant say that this is "out of character" because we had'nt had prior idea or knowledge to how she'd cope with her mother's passing.

second off, like i said i dont think its valid. yes, i understand her actions are a result of her mothers untimely passing but we can't keep saying that it was right of her to do what she did.

we can empathize and we can understand that what she's doing is because she's had enough of jinx putting the people of piltover in danger because obviously she cares about these people, and it put her over the edge the day that her mother died because of jinx. but it doesnt mean that her actions were right objectively (i say objectively because we all have different moral compasses).

lets get into what she did

her actions consist of:

-gassing the undercity (even after watching an entire documentary/history lesson about how her mother built the ventilation systems to keep the grey out of the undercity)

i dont want to hear people saying that it never showed people dying, it was only used on the gangs, the goons, and jinx. people, we dont need to see people dying to know that the grey has been a problem zaunites have had to deal with for years until cassandra (cait's mom) built those vents.

yes, you can say that they didnt show people dying, doesn't mean that using it wont have consequences if anyone that was innocent does get affected. gas spreads, it moves, it can and it will affect anyone in the vicinity or anyone that comes across it. how do you know that it didnt affect anyone?

even in a moral lens, isnt it just wrong to use the grey ( which in the real world might be equal to something like tear gas. theory tho, going off of tear gas effects) to "clear out" the streets of the undercity where homeless people litter the streets, where children, old people, and people with disabilities roam freely?

-the scene where she insisted she wont miss her shot at jinx

for this one, i think she said this because she was obviously frustrated. she believed in her abilities and she had jinx right in front of her and obviously she wasn't thinking straight.

but people, i cant defend her when i saw her miss her shot just a minute prior. she can think that about herself, that she can shoot past isha and hit jinx in the head, i cant. like i said she missed, it is absolutely not a guarantee to her that they wont move once she pulls the trigger, which is exactly why she hit jinx in the finger instead, and almost killed vi before too.

like its more understandable for me that that statement would come from her, than if it came from someone that was watching the show.

with that, i think i covered mainly my thing with caitlyn. i do empathize, and i do think that for someone thats grieving and angry, her actions can be understandable in that perspective. i do not however, think her actions are justified, especially bc its borderline fascist (if not already). she's a dictator in simpler terms and its just so wrong no matter how i look at it.

i mentioned earlier as well that there were caitlyn supporters that were off putting, but honestly even caitlyn haters can be the same so really its not just a one sided thing going on. the least we can do with this topic, especially because its not black and white, is be civil and just talk about it properly we dont need aggression.

Jayce:

I love jayce, i truly do. well, for the most part.

this rant simply started bc i saw people saying he's privileged, he's egotistical etc, etc.

here is my take.

some people (might just be one actually) see jayce as a minority, or an immigrant and believe that that erases his privilage. but let's talk about it.

no matter if jayce is a minority, or an immigrant, it does not erase that he is from a known house (even if its small) and lives in piltover. he is in the academy, a known scientist and inventor, and he's part of the council. where is the privilege? right there.

he has privilege, why are we erasing that? he has the privilege to live in piltover, to study and learn, to meet with the highest of the highs that control and lead their entire nation, to be known as a great inventor and scientist who, through hextech, has improved the lives of many, who bears a name that is recognizable as a house, and even if he is not equal in wealth with salo or mel, is still equal in status because he now stands amongst them in the same rank and has mel beside him to get the other counselors on board with his plans or ideas.

he has privilege, we cant erase that just because he's an immigrant, because objectively he's living a life better than anyone in the undercity does. hell, viktor has privilege because he's living in piltover now, he no longer lives in the undercity where people struggle, get hunted down, and killed.

thats mostly what i wanted to talk about, i cant say if he is egotistical because i cant remember him being one? arrogant in a way, maybe. but egotistical im not so sure.

with that note.. thats all the word vomiting i can do. but mainly my main gripe is how s2 loses what i loved with the s1 storyline and its the oppression that piltover has on the undercity. it could have been even better if they had handled it properly but i guess it just gets erased like that..

anyways, like i said im up for discussion. you're free to dicuss, to correct, to agree because i can admit i might be forgetting about certain scenes or diaogue or whatnot and its good to be educated and to learn from other people as well.

so, idk, dont take this too personally. at the end of the day it is a show, with important storylines, but still just a show nevertheless. we dont need to be so personal and so aggressive with debates, we can have it like adults, and we can have opinions and thats okay.

thanks for listening lmao

[spoopdeedoop]

the way you draw the dsmp characters makes me so very deeply emotional /vpos like. forgive me for the rant incoming but its exactly a perfect mix of how i imagined them to look when i was younger and how i imagine them now and ohh my god ur cbeeduo art and ur animationsss.. it makes me tear up with joy and i just aaagh. im really sorry if this comes across odd but man ive been struggling lately (to put it lightly) and seeing the stuff u make is so eye opening if that makes sense? like it has so much whimsy and love put into it, it makes me go "oh so these are the feelings that make life worth living. this is why im here"

hi i read this just before i had to get on a plane and was thinking about it the whole way ngl. it doesn’t come across as odd at all dont worry!! i’m really sorry you’ve been struggling and i hope it gets easier for you soon. sending you all my well wishes via telepathy (staring really hard at my phone)

and thank you thank you thank you thankyouthankyou i’m really quite fond of my dsmp designs. i’m also like Beyond overjoyed about sharing dsmp art again and seeing and talking about it again with others — it’s the most Me i’ve felt in a while, idk. they are for real like little pieces of my soul and i know they’re in the souls of other people too and so getting to share that again does feel a bit like magic. i’m so very glad they bring you some comfort, anon :)

thanks so so so much for sending an ask lots of love forever and ever

[itsmeeleanorstill]

hi !! is there any chance you'd write for evan myers and gn reader doing mundane stuff like watching movies, going on dates, or like house chores together?? it can be hcs or a fic doesn't matter I just want him to not experience the horrors for a moment 😭😭

Authors note: OMG ILY ANON AND I LOVE EVAN SM🫶 ive been wanting to write about him for so long and hes my biggest hyperfixaton so this is gonna be one of the longest things ive wrote (hes so me fr) pluss i try to make most of stuff i write gender netural so dw and am not done with this yet so there would be part two or more because i love him so much and i cant stop talking about him

Warning: nothing just them begin happy

Evan is the kind of person whos no matter what you do even if its just cleaning and stuff it wont be boring

Not to mention hes the type of guy who you can call to do basicly ANYTHING and he will tag along no matter what is it

Hes clingy and i bet you that when younare just cooking or washing the dishes he will wrap his arms around you from behind putting his head on your shoulder eather talking about something or just watching you

Also Evan is the type of person who haves the coldest hands ever so he likes to anoy you with putting his hair under your shirt on your waist or stomach but that the fact that his body tempature is always cold can be such a good thing especially in the summer just cuddling aginst him cooling down

He dosent seem like a person to me who would be that into spooning but because i dont know any other cuddling position i will leave that part to your imagination

We all know that he loves horror movies and probably like action movies too (especially on the horror movie part)

If you get scared during a movie he will get VERY COCKY WITH IT and will probably tease and scare you a lot and laugh when you get even more scared

After the movie you two would just cuddle and he would rant about the movie how good it was and everything (even tho he talks during the movie too but gets anoyed when anybody else does it)

He will pull pranks on you a lot acually but they are always harmless and acually funny too

Late night talks with him are the BEST

Just sitting outside at the terrace or porch or whatever do you wanna call it just talking about very deep stuff and life frends childhood whatever you want to talk about honesly he haves very great and deep world views and even tho he dosent seems like it hes a deep thinker

AMAZING COOK

You cant tell me otherwise he works out and payes attention to his health and makes the best meals but when he cooks you better get out of the kitchen he just hates when somebody lingers around and in his way when he cooks

Imagine you two working out togeder AJSHDHAKDNSH

Even if you dont work out just watching him be so focused and gorgeous

Ive heard somebody else say it and i will say it too he lisends to music all the time and so so loudly if you dont enjoy the same music he does he will just lisend to it a bit more quietly

I personality think that his love languages is physical touch and quality time and he enjoys hugging and cuddling more then kisses but eather way he just loves everything you do

He loves you very much and thats all that matters

[spidergutz-writes]

Dear genius;; do you perhaps have more headcanons for Otis with Baby's best friend? Just anything!! ;;w;

-meadow! My dear friend hello again :D! I truly hope you enjoy these (givin me my favorite tropes, i see what your doin 😁)

anyways, I hope you enjoy these!! —

So. Much. FLIRTING.

and not just regular flirting, though. Oh No no no.

what? You thought OTIS could flirt normally? No. That man’s shoving a live human heart in your face, while telling you how nice and soft your precious skin looks.

lemmie tell you this, if your baby’s best friend, you’ve either been with her from the beginning, or your just a morbid person and they kept you around for that.

and if you’ve been with her from the beginning? You can at least tolerate morbid stuff.

so there’s a lot of…dark flirting.

example:

“I’d love to cut you up and make a masterpiece outta you, doll”

“I’d let you do it.”

definitely also makes you little gifts. Like, little portraits of you, figures made of bone or cartilage.

puts his hand on your shoulder a lot. Your his, and he needs others to know that. (you just don’t know it yet, and he probably doesn’t either)

otis is also a very blunt person, so he’s more than likely invited you to his bed more than once

”yknow sweetheart, my beds always open for you”

often uses you as his muse, blatantly telling you it’s because your hot/pretty as fuck.

you two probably have rant sessions too.Your mad about something, he’s mad about something, so you both just vent to eachother about it.

you laying on his bed, him pacing around. Your waiting for him to finish so you can console him, then go on with your own rant,

which you know he’d be there to listen to. After you listen to him ofc.

”can’t believe tiny almost let my muse escape! Do you know how long it took for me to get this detrimental wall of art block broken down? Fucking, forever!! If it wasn’t for me being there, just in time, that bitch would’ve ran away!”

so many late nights spent outside when neither of you can sleep, so you just talk.

talking about anything and everything, till eventually one of you falls asleep (typically you)

and by saying that, there’s been a few times where you woken up in Otis’s bed while he’s passed out on the very edge of the bed.

hes a sadistic, psychotic, homicidal maniac, but for some reason, you, baby’s best friend, the one person he’s NOT supposed to be kind, and all that gooey stuff with, makes him want to be nice to you.

doesn’t want to actually carve your face off

he wishes to keep it on your pretty/handsome face :((

lots of meaningless banter —

”your face is dumb”

”yeah? Well you have more wrinkles than my grandmother”

”oh really? Well- your probably not even a natural blond!”

*LE GASP*

HORROR MOVIE MARATHONS. y’all will stay up ALL night watching shitty old horror movies and criticizing it

saying how fake and un real it is

”the gore is so fake, I mean cmon!!”

“…idk, the gore is pretty good, but the acting is shit.”

“You think that’s real gore? Gimme a second sweetheart, LEMMIE go grab my muse. I’ll show you real gore!��

”OTIS NO WHAT ABOUT THE MOVI-“

yeah. You’ll have to clean up all the blood btw.

man is caked in layers of blood, and constantly smells of Pennys and nickels.

ITS SO LATE RN BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE THESE IVE POURED SO MANY HUMAN EMOTIONS INTO THIS-

[queenlybeastly]

I normally don’t make my own posts on here because of certain reasons however i do want to say something about the newest Planet Of the Apes movie.

Specifically the shipping. The shipping of the MC Noa and the human character Mae.

Stop here if you don’t wanna get spoiled about the movie or if you’re already hating what might be said.

TW for: general cursing, mentions of incest and sexual stuff.

To clarify, i love interspecies relationships. Ask any moots of mine or even look at what i reblog when it comes to those types of ships.

However seeing this ship has rubbed me the wrong way.

I haven’t seen the movie, I’m planning to just not in theaters, but ive gone through the POTA tag on both here and on tiktok. From what I’ve seen and gathered the arguments for this ship are “look! They have chemistry! Noa wouldn’t have done all this for Mae if he didn’t like or have some feelings for her!” “the cast and crew hinted a love story for them!” And even “if you hate this ship even though you like interspecies, youre a hypocrite”

But i have some thoughts on all of this.

1) Chemistry doesn’t mean romance. Two or more characters can have the most amazing chemistry and still likely be friends or platonic soulmates/kindred spirits. And that’s what I’m most likely leaning towards when it comes to these two characters.

Yes they have long gazes, yes he saves her and she saves him, yes they both look up at the stars at the end. But i feel like that’s what two people may go through if they’ve went through the events Noa and Mae have gone through.

And if anyone thinks I’m not for this ship because of the lack of sexual nature of these two then get out. Leave. Block me. I may reblog funni haha horni posts but that’s not all of my damn personality. Thinking that is inherently gross.

2) The interspecies aspect is… odd. Mainly cause I don’t think these two are a interspecies relationship at all. Genetically we share a lot of DNA with primates. Culturally the apes in the current movie are currently going through their own age of civilization that can be comparable to pre Sumeria. They’re developing their own tools, customs, language, are training animals for hunting and are gathering. While interesting from an anthropological perspective they’re evolving the same way humans have.

You can apply the last bit to any fictional species but to me its like watching a distant cousin learning how to ride a bike.

I would deem interspecies romance as shipping characters that aren’t related to the human race at all. Apes and us shared a common ancestor. So, not interspecies.

3) This entire franchise may be fictional… but that’s what worries me. People as of late will shut off their brain if it means shipping something that is obviously problematic.

Case in point? House of Dragons.

I will not touch that show because of the shipping wars. I hated watching tumblr go googly eyed for when a young teenage Rhyneara was crushing over her uncle. Hell i even saw a post where someone got a pic from a trailer that showed a hand over hers and going ‘oh my god guys shes finally gonna bone her uncle!!’ As if incest was suddenly okay even from a literary standpoint. Even if it happened in the lore and books. This is why I think the entirety of The Game of Thrones universe should not have been created.

But this is what we have been seeing.

Just because something is fictional doesn’t mean it can’t happen in real life. And if we normalize something that should remain fictional people are gonna think its okay.

TLDR; I will only see Mae and Noa as platonic soul mates. And that will remain unless something happens where its not gonna be problematic.

Oh! And please don’t bring up the Harkness test when it comes to the validity of this ship. That’s a whole other rant for a whole other day.

[kaiartx]

ive been thinking about my asexuality and aromanticism a lot lately and how it has affected me throughout my life

this is gonna be a long rant so feel free to skip this but i needed to let it out

when i was a child, before i even considered that i might not be straight or knew about asexuality, i used to daydream of finding a husband that was kind enough to understand my desire to not have sex, and if he didnt, then i always thought id need to have an open relationship otherwise id be alone forever. who wants to be in a marrige without sex, right?

and if my husband didnt understand my feelings? then i even made my mind around having to get assaulted regularly just so others would think i was a normal person

the whole world made me believe that i needed to get married, that my only options were men, and that id need to have sex to keep my man happy. of course not doing that would mean id live a miserable and meaningless life!

this thought process was encouraged by my classmates when they bullied me for not having any crushes, and i wasnt socially accepted until i made up a guy

i of course now know that none of that is true, but many allos love to say that ace people dont suffer at all and i think it's important to speak about this stuff so more people can understand us (of course i know everyones experiences are different yadda yadda this is just mine okay shut up)

now onto my aromanticism. ive felt romantic attraction once in my life, so i guess we can say im demi, but thats not the point here. sometimes id like a partner, and i might have one in the future, but its not something im actively seeking. this has been said many times before, but it makes me sad how when someone gets a romantic partner, many times people stop caring as much about friends or prioritizing them. i get why that is, mind you, and i understand it

but yeah, my point is that i cant make plans of moving out and building a life together with friends because sooner or later, they will end up moving in with their partners, and i will, once again, be alone.

of course i can still hang out with them, but its weird how society expects us to build a life with partners and forget about friends. if my friend is in the hospital i cant go see them because its "family members only"

ive come to a point where im planning my life only thinking about myself because absolutely no one else is thinking about me and i will just end up dissapointed otherwise

anyway this is just me rambling. i know other people dont feel like this or have different experiences. i hope someone can relate tho and see they are not alone

[etherealspacejelly]

I suppose it’s only customary, you let me rant about dyslexia, so is there anything you’d like to rant to me about? :D

idk if this is really what you're after but. im just kinda having a difficult time lately

ill put it under a cut so you can choose whether to read it or not, i wont be offended if you dont. its a pretty big trauma dump so dont put yourself through it if you're not up to it

finding out i have chronic pain has kinda turned my whole life upside down and im struggling to come to terms with it. realising that for most people it doesnt hurt just to walk for more than 10 minutes really sucks. thats so unfair. i cant go anywhere or do anything without being in pain and its fucking exhausting. and on top of that i have autism and adhd, and pain makes my sensory issues and executive dysfunction worse, so its even harder to do things

ive been held to such a high standard my whole life and been made to feel like im not good enough but im literally fighting against my own body and mind to do anything at all. i had to get good grades in school and help take care of my sister and provide for all of my dads emotional needs because he doesnt have any friends and help out around the house, all while i was sharing a bedroom with my kid sister as a TEENAGER which meant no privacy or alone time ever but im not allowed to complain about any of that because my mother is a single mum of three working part time, and my older brother is disabled.

BUT IM DISABLED TOO AND HAVE BEEN THIS WHOLE TIME and did i get any accomodations??? no. so i just had to over compensate for all of that to the point where i feel like im constantly performing my own personality all the time. and i dont know how to ask for help because i never learned how to do that and i was praised for being independent and never asking for anything. so my whole personality is "person who never asks for anything ever" which fucks up all my relationships. but whatever, at least i was easy to raise and a pleasure to have in class

i have literally been pushing through mental and physical pain my whole life thinking everyone else was doing the same thing but they're not. and that recontextualises a lot of stuff that has happened to me and explains why i feel a lot more traumatised than i 'should be', because having people dismiss and ignore your pain is fucking traumatic and thats been happening to me for 21 years.

sorry for all of that i just. needed to get it all off my chest. its been swirling around in my head for weeks.

[youredreamingofroo]

a bit of a message talking about inactivity and my possible hiatus. I dont know if this counts as a cw but i talk about depression here and there at the beginning (nothing graphic) and as usual, its a rant

im gonna be straight honest rn, i'm probably not gonna be active on tumblr for these next few days, ive been super up and down depressed and im just unmotivated and too tired to do anything, im still gonna check in here and there but dont expect me to reblog or reply to many posts, if at all. This could mark the beginning of a hiatus, but with mood swings and up and down depression, i could be back, active as ever tomorrow. Ever since ive uninstalled Sims 4, i did feel a weight lift off my shoulders, but simultaneously made me depressed due to the lack of... well... doing something, i dont... really know how to put it into words, its just something in my brain that i just cant explain, i guess a good way to put it is playing sims 4 gave me the motivation to stem off into other mediums, blender for example, gave me something to do, something to learn, and while i can still use blender, i just get progressively slower and slower at doing stuff in it because of my limited resources, some scenes i want to do require specific outfits and i dont have the facilities to make those outfits... i mean i probably do but i just dont feel motivated to do all that. I still play other games, ive been playing a lot of slime rancher 2 and have been trying to branch out to other games (indie games and bigger games), I want to post gameplay but if youve seen me rant about tumblr before, one of my biggest gripes is just how fucking annoying it is to upload images, so i just get completely unmotivated to post images/gameplay especially if its just some silly post. if uh if anyone is still reading this, ill be honest, i havent even been motivated to write about WAS at all, probably havent touched the planning doc in about 2 weeks. This... 'spiral'... has been noticeable for me for the last week as my sleep schedule gets swapped around from sleeping at night and awake during the day... to sleeping during the day and awake at night, this is all my fault, but its also just something that happens rotationally for me, i go from sleeping VERY early in the evening (6PM at the earliest) and waking at VERY early times in the morning (4AM at the latest) to sleeping VERY late in the morning (6AM at the earliest) and waking up late in the evening (3PM at the latest), i dont really know what causes the shift, but it happens, and i often blame myself for it even though i dont know what causes it...

anyways sorry, this will probably mark a very iffy hiatus, like i said ill be active but not... super active, i didnt check tumblr at all yesterday/monday, so thats kind of the pattern to expect from me depending on the day. In the meantime... i might try to get back into older sims games, ive mentioned this before, but i do have sims 1 on my laptop so maybe ill post stupid little gameplay posts from there (granted i havent played in like... a month 😐). I'll probably put up a poll after this post for people to vote on which sims game i should play- i KNOW i did it once before but im probably gonna do it again cuz i cant find the post and i have over 1000 posts 😭

if you read thus far, thank you for sticking around, if your a random person who read this for no reason... thanks? if your a follower of mine and cant understand where im coming from with this lengthy post, see yourself out or deal with it 🙃 otherwise, thank you all and i will be lurking about

[gadunkie]

spiderverse 2 sucked shit and was performative twitter.com fuckery. hi reddit in this rant Im going to talk about why I think the second spiderverse movie gave me a queasy uneasy feeling after I left the theater. spoiler warning and all that.

Ive been seeing a lot of praise for this movie lately and a lot of fan stuff and while that is cool I think spiderverse 2 really doesnt deserve it. to me it feels like baffling performative bullshit where they checked off certain "woke" categories and forgot about everything else. Im bad at formulating rant posts so Im just gonna randomly bring up my feelings on certain things.

ok so first of all the number one thing that pissed me off was the in-movie dialogue of people telling miles, the first black spider-man, that he was never supposed to be spider-man in the first place. that is incredibly tone deaf, especially when the first movie's message was that anyone could be a hero, regardless of who you are. you could argue that this story beat is used to reinforce that message being that miles' reaction to that line is rejection and finding his own way to become spider-man after all. but thats stupid because, again, anyone could be a hero no matter what, even if theyre not supposed to be 'canonically' a spider-man. what this tells me is that theyre going for the same fucking message, again, but this time its padded out in 2 movies rather than the one that weve already seen.

second, and this one was much more brief, there was a disabled spider-man amidst the roster of the multiverse spider-mans whose only line of dialogue was making fun of their own disability. thats some travis mcelroy bullshit, I thought we were past the point of making disabled character's only personality being their disability. to me that was also incredibly tone deaf and just completely unneeded.

third, there was an Indian spider-man by the name Pavitr Prabhakar whose only personality was that he was Indian. of course theres nothing wrong with Indian culture or just being an Indian person, but to me its like if they had a Japanese spider-man and made them only talk about katanas and sushi. theres no way that indian people act like that and constantly boost about their own nation, it just rubs me the wrong way and makes them feel less human.

fourth, that "gwen is trans" shit is utter queerbait, I cant believe anyone is fucking falling for this shit. it literally infuriates me that I see fellow queer people look at the most basic off to the side decoration in a room / police officer's uniform and jump to the conclusion that what we are seeing is trans representation. like sure she could be trans! but it can also be read as her just being an ally, same with her father. "what ally has a trans flag in there room?" are you fucking kidding me? like are you being serious? hey heres famous content creator Ludwig, who is cis and has a trans flag in his room:

fucking anyone, literally anyone could have trans iconography anywhere in their house regardless of their gender. side bonus, heres how you can have a real confirmed trans character in your art without it being bait! - have them taking transition medication in a scene - have them wear gender affirming clothing, like chest binders - have them tell another character that theyre trans - have them literally look into the camera and say "Im trans." crazy how easy it is to do all of these things and yet gwen did none of it! dont fucking search for crumbs and pretend that its a feast.

fifth, theres a character called spider-punk who goes by Hobie and his entire character is being a punk and making fun of The Establishment™ and Capitalism™. I thought he was dumb because it just reminded me that anti-capitalism is just a form of entertainment now and not a real message to start a change.

sixth, there was so much fucking nostalgia pandering and repetitive dialogue. there were many scenes showing footage of older movies, cartoons, or real life actors that were only there to be pointed at the screen by audiences. next, the dialogue was so expository that any time miles' parents were on screen they would only talk about miles and how worried they were about him. I swear to god that 70% of spider-man 2099s dialogue was about his disturbed past and wanting to capture miles. at several times throughout the movie I thought "ok I get it" and hoped that were was something new to be seen in the next 5 minutes, which wasnt the case most of the time.

seventh, evil miles was fucking stupid. you cant just reveal such an easy counterpart villain and expect me to believe that he has any bearing on the story whatsoever. that shit was so laughably bad that I can easily imagine him getting defeated in the same old hero vs villain shit in the next movie. here let me have some fun and say that miles is going to do the most predictable "Im going to fix you to become good" trope only for evil miles to deny it and fuck off forever in some weird way.

anyway this post is already too fucking long so Im just gonna add personal peeves onto it because Im on a roll. I had a hard time paying attention to several fight scenes because they were mixing with too many visual styles, like the vulture scene at the beginning of the movie was too disorienting for me. I think there shouldve been subtitles, sometimes characters were inaudible for me and the audio mixing during some scenes didnt help either, unless there was a slow moment in the film I just couldnt understand what the characters were saying.

I thought the movie sucked so bad that what they got right in certain aspects (cast diversity, parent and child struggles, etc.) felt like nothing to me after how they treated the parts that Ive listed. its like they fucking checked off a Progressive Bingo Sheet and left everything else in the dust.

I left the theater disappointed and feeling worthless because all I felt was that these movies were just trying to sell me something and didnt push for a change like the first one did. what a fucking shit show.

conclusions. if you liked the movie, awesome Im glad, and you should decide for yourself how you feel about it and what it means to you. Im simply just putting my frustrations into a little text post because that is how I feel. Im not in charge of your enjoyment and you should decide that on your own regardless of my opinions. be responsible with your enjoyment.

but I wont, if you try to argue with me on any of these topics then Im blocking you forever and if you dare type "let people enjoy things" on my post then Im killing you,

[chihirolovebot]

okay okay prepare for my ranting but OHHHHHHHHHMYGOD i just love your writing so so much.

you just AHSHSTGGFF ARE SOOOOO GOOD AT GETTING THE READER HOOKED. I SWEAR . ITS UNREAL.

no joke . i’ve reread sleep awake probably about 4 times now. it has been on my mind for the past month. send help .

I LOVE LOVE LOVE physicist’s relationship dynamics with the rest of the cast. thank goodness we’re not isolated with kokichi the whole story. ohmygod. i think i’d die.

i feel like . phys could really do with a massive cry in rantaro’s arms. he became a brotherly figure so quickly for them and AUGHHHthey make me so upset. him preventing a meltdown too?? WAAAAAHHH … gotta love him for that. hopefully we’ll get to see more of him in here is where my body lies .

SPEAKING OF THAT. i’m looking forward to seeing the bad endings / alternate universes in it. like … if kirumi killed phys. or korekiyo succeeded in killing phys. or …if kokichi didn’t walk in when gonta attempted to kill phys . ohmygod. phys almost died a lot. i hope we get to see how everyone reacts. ANYWAY i can’t wait to see phys and the others be happy. what the hell. i need this in my life.

back to friendship dynamics….the trio recently formed by BELIEVING in phys??? is just AUGHHHHH SO SO CUTE. THEY HAVE MY HEART. I WANNA GIVE THEM ALL A HUG.

and…with the main man himself …. WOW. just. WOW. their dynamic is everything. they make me wanna cry. they are married. they are divorced. they are nerds. they are losers. they are. my everything. they are

“And yet—this deal he’d made you. That was trust, naked and unmistakable. That was far more than he’d offered anybody else. Everything else aside, Kokichi trusted you. Wasn’t that enough? 

If the small pit in your stomach was anything to go by—no, it wasn’t. And you didn’t know why”

WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH THEY JUST MAKE ME SICK. SO SICK. i’m really curious how phys will react to kokichi’s plan for *you know what* or that he’ll just keep them in the dark. again. because he knows they wouldn’t let him? I DONT KNOW. whatever it is. i’m not ready for it.

despite the tears that i’m gonna shed in the future ……..IM EXCITED TO SEE THE NEXT CHAPTERS PLAY OUT. im looking forward to the changes you’re gonna make in chapter 6. really curious what that’s gonna be .

you’ve captured kokichi’s character to a tee and i can’t get enough of it i swear .

i love that phys has autism too. like. if it isn’t completely obvious by now. so do i and it’s just. wow. THEY R JUST LIKE ME!!!!

also. i’m very excited to see where you take that persona 5 fic. wink wink.

ANYWAYS LOVE YOU FOR THIS. THIS IS THE BEST FIC I’VE READ EVER . I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE IT. GOODBYE .

HELLO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELLO .

ur so kind this is like. one of the sweetest asks ive ever received i was pacing all day and im just answering now because i wanted to have the time to write out a thoughtful response because ohhghgh my god u made my absolute week with this thank you SO much my angel !!!!!

starting this story it was so important to me that like . phys has Other Friends. i think i mentioned this before but i think a big part of the story is that Ouma's mindset is wrong and unhealthy which is definitely starting to be examined this late in the story and like. the way he goes about doing stuff is definitely (mostly) well-intentioned but his mindset and philosophies are so Off and Wrong that i think ONLY having his mindset to influence Phys would a) ensure that phys only develops in a way that makes them more like him, which is NOT good because his mindset is wrong and unhealthy, and b) would make them extremely lonely when that isnt what i want the story to be about. if i COULD i would go back and give them some more interaction with momota because he's ouma's foil character, but i like him giving phys advice and phys taking on bits of his philosphy, too. they basically take an amalgamation of their friends' perspectives and learn to have a healthier outlook that way. so yeah . its super important for phys to have friends, especially optimistic ones like momota, kiibo and chabashira .

MY BODY LIES!!!! i haven't forgotten about this, just planning on properly starting it after i finish sleep awake's main story because between that , my p5 fic, and my jojo fic its kind of A Lot. but amami will DEFINITELY be a prominent character in it because i love his and phys's relationship so much. i tried to stretch it as much as possible in the original story before i knew i had to kill him off :(( and YEAH so i think a bad ending will be the first chapter which will probably be if shinguuji succeeded in his murder attempt , mostly focusing on the aftermath and the effect it has on the rest of the characters which . was pretty heavy for a first chapter so i may make it the second instead lmao.

I CANT SAY MUCH ABT FUTURE STUFF but i CAN say that some of ch5 and a fair amount of ch6 will be different and im super excited to show you what i have in store for it !!! the tone i'm going for is bittersweet so . hopefully that tides you over for a bit :3

the new trio... the phys apostles as i'm calling them. they're so silly to me. something about each of them knowing phys in very unique ways . kiibo seeing phys as soon as they woke up and always being the first to believe in them , chabashira seeing phys after they killed shinguuji and being the only person to see that side of them, and saihara being a sort of mirror to phys's grief in the early chapters after they both lost the most important person to them ( at that time ). i thought it made sense that they would all be a little more reluctant to believe that phys had been totally brainwashed because they all have a lot more respect for them than that , and also just . know them better as a person than the others , who are definitely still well-intentioned , just ignorant.

ouma... my little freakweirdo bf . characterising him is such a challenge but im so so happy you enjoy how i've done it !!!! physouma's dynamic is my favourite i've ever written in anything, i think . it's exactly like you said !!! they're constantly on this weird emotional journey where phys is attempting to get closer and ouma is attempting to distance himself but its not working because they both care about each other so much and like. yeah . they make me a bit insane too . writing phys slowly discovering their feelings has been super fun too . i usually dislike the oblivious love interest trope because more often than not it feels like it's played for miscommunication problems BUT i feel like with ouma it only makes sense because like . its impossible to know where you stand with ouma even if he straight-up says 'im in love with you' you'd just be like ?? yeah ok buddy sure. good one . you got me.

autistic phys is so real to me as i obviously also have autism and . i was projecting super hard when i created them teehee. THE PERSONA FIC !!!! i know its been a while since i updated but i AM working on the next chapter its definitely not abandoned :3

THANK U AGAIN SO SOSOSOS MUCH FOR THIS . I HOPE UR HAVING THE BEST DAY EVER <333

[the-kinfesssional]

Hey.. MM.me again.. Spamton G. Spamton... Sniffle sniffle this was longer than i wanted oops sorry so sorry IM FUCKING STRUGGLING OUT HERE How do I tell A memoryfrom a headcanon is it a headcanon if its me? what is it??where ?? what?? huh??? what????????????????? I cant tell. Im a fictionkin I know that. but im like so confused al the time. Like thats me. But also Idk im really used to just dissociating I thug it out ok. i dont really go into kin spaces a lot like at all so I dont know proper terms but I know what i feel Inside but then im like No thats cringe an,d also that cannot possibly be real. I dont relaly know if i believe in past lives(?) ornot at least As a fictional character. for me personally. but at the same time. I Guess i do? Huh. Its strange. Like this guy is just me. I am him he is me because.Thats me. I dont get as bad Kin(?) dysphoria as i do Gender dysphoria. I know how i could still be happy In a human body I Guess. But it just feels like itll never fully be me. Or will it. I dont know. it makes me so happy it makes me feel such a way that I cant even explain its like this feeling in my chest and its like.......Yeah. Thats me. But Iveee been Very. Disconnected from kin stuff lately because ive been super stressed and distracted with other stuff and ive just felt like a wet sack of sand being thrown at a wall and the sand is all like gross and wet and its leaking everywhere and its gross like you know when you get sand all over you at the beach but youre also like Damp and the sand is all Sticky and Grimey and also Scratchy. thats how ive been feeling mentally onfg can someone give me a mental shower i needto get DUNKED. This ended up being a longer rant and also skewing off into different things than i wanted but its ffine whatever. Ugm. Id ont know where else to go. BACK ON THE MEM THING BECAUSE I GOT VERY DISTRACTED. I dont know. I have this one very very very specific Flash this Instance in my mind and I dont know if i consider it a memory or not???????? I thhink i am a.,, Psychological kin mostly. if thats the right term. idfk man. can i still have memories. Are these even memories? do my headcanons count as My canon is that what that is ???? I NDONT KNOW IM GOING INSANE but I can also have conflicting ones existing in separate timelines. but like. im not like a multiple timeline and past life guy. i think? its not a huge belief of mine. i just. I am. i AM. Im spamton. Are memories supposed to be In first person. is it just feelings. is it. what. how do i define. How do i tell? How can i tell. aRe the The little movies in my head the little Blorbo Situations. like. whats those count as. Also why does being canon divergent make me feel sick to my stomach. whenever new DR content is released with me involved i feel sick cause im like IM THE REAL ONE I M THE REAL ONE IF I DIVERGE IM A SICK FAKER AND THEYRE GONNA TAKE ME OUT BACK AND KICK ME IN THE SHINS!!! And its really weird. Like huh. Nobody cares. I care though. uhm. idk. call me boyfail the way i bash my head through a wall and make a hole in it and then put a pillow in it and take a little nap wiwiwiwi hoink wiwiwiwiwi (the sound I make when I sleep)

Its confusing, I know. I think psychological kins don't have memories, but you can have headcanon about yourself, I believe? Im not sure. Im a spiritual kin