#its not a failing

[cheshire-castle-library]

Long personal post but TLDR:

happiness is stored in the neon gay pyromaniac, and I have yet to unlearn the "Good Little Girls Are Disciplined and Helpful, Regardless of Their Opinions, Needs, or Pains" Southern Christian mentality and I'd really like to.

This really is so dumb!! I've been in like a multiple day depression, brought on by school and I couldn't get out of it. I couldn't even bring myself to post "semester started" studyblr stuff, I mean I took a picture and then decided "yeah this isn't worth it" and was like getting to a point that nothing was worth the effort. Which is, you know, really really bad when you are in higher education, where everything takes effort - and especially being neurodivergent, which makes things take extra effort because the world is not made for us.

But you know its friday night, and I took the time to make my dad a margarita because he's had a hell of a couple weeks and he needed the care, and while I was at it I took the time to make myself boba, because a friend was showing off her boba and boba sounded really good - but since its flooding out here, i can't really go out and i really hope the boba shop is closed and the family that runs it is not running it in the flood - so I pulled out the little sauce crock pot we use on thanksgiving and decided "yeah, boba takes time any way, so this will be a really nice treat for the end of the work day", and somewhere along the way something reminded me of Promare, and Promare sounded like a good idea to watch and Promare is one of the 2 main things I ever have brain worms about, so I sat working on something I needed to do that would take time and I'd lose focus on if I didn't have something to watch.

And wouldn't you know it, I had enough spoons by the end to actually wash my face! Which is like the number 1 (one) thing I skip when the spoons are running out. (Face won't rot out of my mouth if I neglect it, so if its between teeth and face on spoons, teeth win; not because the executive functions are working, but because the "failure" of "getting a cavity" and more importantly the autistic "losing something that's mine" hits and I get anxious about my teeth, so there's a little overshare for you.) But like!! It feels like a whole new world right now!!

One of my best friends was like "sometimes you just need to watch the thing that makes the most good brain chemical", and have i just been starving myself of the good brain chemical all week??

So yeah in conclusion, happiness is stored in the neon gay pyromaniac, and I have yet to unlearn the "Good Little Girls Are Disciplined, Helpful and Do The Right Thing (That's Most Productive For Every One Else Around You)" southern christian lesson and I'm not sure how to fix that.

[eydilily]

(look at what i have to offer) — this is the spider's nest.

[cryptocism]

"just as I did, in 1983."

you'd never know my favourite parts of the show are the fucked up insane bits when my first instinct is to draw the cheesiest thing imaginable

[deathbypickles]

crime and punishment heritage posts. to me.

[wormspoodle]

thinking about the "a better world" dimension where stan did take the journal

[electricpurrs]

i thought the "AND THE CROWD GOES HOME" style jokes were very funny but unfortunately my autistic ass has now become obsessed with just spamming these emojis on everything i say for dramatic effect to an obnoxious level LOOK AT THESE GUYS ☝️‼️💯💪☝️💥‼️🔥💯💪‼️💯☝️☝️☝️☝️

[midaskey]

And remember... don't lose your head!

[demigods-posts]

headcanon that percy and annabeth have a relationship contract they made after they got together once the war came to pass. they outlined it on paper in percy's bedroom. typed up a final draft using sally's laptop. and printed out and laminated it at the local library on their two month anniversary. and they abide by it like it's the law.

[amid-fandoms]

i need to study their dna there's no way these are the same people

[katsinspats]

Tragic: Guy you based your entire villain backstory on doesn't even remember you

[nellasbookplanet]

'Enjoy it despite its flaws' is one thing, but Mass Effect somehow invented its own category: 'simultaneously one of the most flawed and the most well-crafted sci-fi stories I've ever experienced'. These games are incredible. They’re the worst. All the women are sexualized. All the women have deeply flawed and complex personalities without being either demonized or romanticized. The first available f/f ship seems to be written along the guidelines of 'what would a straight man find hot'. As the games go on, they effortlessly include multiple same sex romance options given just as much care and development as the the opposite sex ones. You can play as a xenophobic murderhobo asshole. You can play as someone genuinely caring but also harsh, who inspires growth and co-operation wherever you go but who makes hard choices when you have to. You can kill civilians and punch reporters and commit genocide. You can stop a generational war and mediate peace and save several species from extinction. The robots are stereotypically evil cannon fodder. The robots are deeply complex with a tragic history. Your team mates are assholes with xenophobic opinions or justifications for police brutality and genocide, or they just want excuses to Do Murder. You team mates are deeply flawed and can be urged to grow alongside you. The most important aliens are all humanoids. There are plant aliens and jellyfish aliens and insect aliens and elephant aliens and aliens who can’t share an atmosphere with us. You have to drive around countless identically boring planets with little to show for it. You get to discover hidden secrets and civilisations millions of years old and live through some of the most emotionally harrowing scenes in storytelling history. I am going absolutely insane about it.

[red-velvet-0w0]

you know what i dont usualy do this sort of thing but if this gets 1000 notes by tuesday morning i wont cut myself for a month just to try and give myself some motivation

[noornight]

Long distance besties. This definitely happened after the third movie (source: trust me bro)

Based on this

[starry-bi-sky]

on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.

Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.

Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.

Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.

There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.

[mipmoth]

It's only me and you in this cruel world walking radiator

[why-is-it-always-autumn]

Love a self-inflicted time loop. The main character isn’t trapped.  They can stop whenever they want.  But how can they when things aren’t perfect yet?  They can do better than this.  They need to try again.  They can get it right this time.  They just need to try again.  They can stop anytime they want.  Just one more time.  They can fix this. They just need to try again.  There are still things to fix.  They just need to try again.