#its just gone down the drain
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
dude quite frankly i dont give a damn if everyone thinks its mid im a characters guy. and story guy. and ninjas guy and now ill never Get any of that
#gameplay can be as mid as it wants#whats really getting me is that the few people who did hear ab this dont care#and the characters.... thwir dynamics their struggles their story their development#its just gone down the drain#im missing them so bad but i never got the chance to even meet them#they arent even getting a chance to share their stories when thats the whole POINT of fictiobal characters#to be part of a story to share#but they arent even fucking getting that#i dont give a damn about the gacha or if it seems like a repetitive thing to you#i dont care if the characters barely fall outside of common tropes#theyre still just... gone theyre just gone. just like that#three years of development and theyre just being abandoned. can you blame me if this makes me want to cry
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
yah s3x is great but have u ever turned off a corporate laptop at 11:20am on a wednesday morning knowing u didn't have to turn it back on till the following monday
#🌧 raindrops#❌down the drain#ITS THAKNSGIVING BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#the amount of chronically online i am about to be for the next few days#no bc the bf is gone to visit his fam so its just me in this beautiful apartment with like 5 bottles of wine and an internet connection#nothing has ever been more beautiful in my LIFE#get ready for the insane amount of brainrot#apologies to the dash in advance i promise i am going to write some of my anime boy shit okay that is on the docket#but like. if you want/need. totally block the 'arcane' tag if you don't want to see my arcane posts lol#i will do my v best to tag all those posts accordingly :) <3
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
I hate living in this world.
#misc#negativity tw#first off i had an argument with a colleague at work#we had to move places for the millionth time in this stupid open space#which already annoyed me#but this guy came at bargained like he always do while i said nothing because it's not like we chooae#and he always does that for actual work because and idk at first i made a snarky comment about now that he got what he wanted he better be#ready to work instead of hiding when somebody ask him to do his job#and he told me he didn't understand the remark#and my hot temper that makes me snap every five years took over#i bet he has by now complaining aboutme like he does about everything#anyway i take hours to calm down (not calm after 4 hours)#I'm also pissed at me cause i can't get emotional without shaking stupidly which makes me look like an hysterical person (i mean sadly i am)#also if there has to have an explanation once my anger is gone tomorrow i will be back on social anxiety mode which is gonna make it worse#all of this reminded me that i need to find a new job for ten thousand reasons#but unfortunately all employers are shit and actually i don't even know what i want to do#and as usual i have no energy for anything because i am still a major piece of shit#then i wanted to relax#made the mistake to open Instagram because I'm also stupid#and i know i don't often talk about politics and stuff#but it's really draining me#i barely or read news just enough to be aware#and honestly its exhausting but I dont want to complain cause Im in a privileged position where i have the chance to be able to 'shut off'#and yes my country and especially this government is sickening me#and like its people too#and also insta is full of pride posts#and i am stupid to read the homophobic and transphobic comments#and genuinely these people alongside racist and islamophobic people really scare the hell out of me#hopefully i don't engage but i shouldn't read anything at all tbh#speaking of pride im spiralling because even tho i kinda identify as aro i feel like a freak and i have nobody to tell me im not
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Having adhd in a house with a dad who's idea of cleaning is throwing everything on the floor and sweeping it into the trash and a mom who doesn't care and throws stuff away to "teach you a lesson" is a fucking nightmare.
#my $40 earbuds and my container of piercings GONE#and its not like i do it on purpose#i just put stuff done and get distracted and forget until days later#so much money down the drain having to rebuy all my stuff#and then they fucking gaslight me by telling me im crazy and i misplaced stuff when i lnow where i left it last#adhd#adhd struggles
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok I'm off to bed, good night, love you <3
#hdbsjdb honestly rhat image in my mind still makes me really happi.. its giving me inspiration for art even im gonna sob bsvsjdbjddb#posts.nae#but yeah... my times been terrible lately n tho i had been managing somehow its all gone down the drain this week :'3#but also.. like. i missed a period (im guessing its cause of stress) so?????? im trying not to put too much pressure on me.#last day of college tomorrow as well ^^#eh i guess this is just me rambling. ive totally closed off recently too but i have been reading messages !!!#man the world is beautiful and so are the people who live in jt#i will go. sleeb#eepy fella that le nae is#so nini!! sweet dreams n ill see you when morning comes ^^
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I actually feel kinda the same but for different reasons because at this point i am just. Unable to hate hatesink characters. I might actually hate more the writers for using such a cheap literary device than the character itself lol. The thing about firecracker is that she (like honestly most the boys bad characters) just exists to spout 1:1 whatever thing an influent alt right politician said on twitter with the add on of some sexual perversion because this is the boys we're talking about and as much as we like to be sex positive we're gonna make all the bad characters have kinks and all the good characters be vanilla and make fun of our male lead for getting raped 35 times because fuck subtlety fuck good writing fuck actually including politics in a good way instead of just pointing at our fingers and screaming "SEE AUDIENCE! CELEBRITY AND POLITICIAN DID/SAID THAT!!!". Anyways i am gonna criticize capitalism while being a series produced by a megacorporation that is known for treating its employees extremely bad and lie down on the bed of money that 5 seasons several funko pops and merch and 2 spinoffs has given me
#i just. heavily dislike the show. the writing has gone down the drain since season 3#because they want to milk the cow as much as they want and to do that they need to keep homelander alive#so they just make the characters do the most stupid decisions on earth#the politics are extremely heavy-handed and not in the good way. its extremely hypocritical in the way#they laughed about hughie's rapes and the way its founded by amazon#they try to criticize toxic celebrity culture while iirc covering up starr's apparent abuse of his workmates
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i suppose this fits here but i just needed to get shit off my chest.
the idea of growing up terrifies me now. im 18 finally and ive graduated high school and i have a job and its not what i thought it would be. i dont remember the details, but i woke up thrashing and panicking this morning over. some dream that had something to do with growing up. i spent my whole goddamn life trying to get to this point as fast as i could, because it was the only way i could see to break out of my parents rules and restrictions and finally be free and be myself without fear.
and. now i made it. im here, i did it, and. id give anything to go back. i wasted so much time, so much energy, being afraid and letting that fear control me and focusing only on this one nebulous far off goal that i wasted my life. i missed every opportunity that might have been there had i decided to just stick up for myself instead. i already had a fucked up high school experience and i made it worse for myself out of fear.
im never getting those years back.
ive already lost so much to the way i was raised in the mormon church and now this, by proxy but still at my own hand, and its. i dont know. it makes me sick. i only ever wanted to be normal and this is what i fucking got and theres nothing i can do about it. my whole life was stolen from me because of this church, be it directly or indirectly and theres nothing i can do about it.
#vent#aster.txt#tyrone.txt#im so fucking mad and im sad and im tired of being sad and mad#i dont know if anyone else feels this way#its the shittiest feeling#regret#i have too many regrets for how young i am#i hate it i hate the church i hate myself i hate my family#i couldve had a normal life had things gone even just a little to the left instead of down the drain#sighs.#i need therapy#exmo#exmormon#ex mormon#religious trama#ex cult#apostate#ex religious#cult survivor#stars know i dont feel like a survivor#i feel like shell#hollowed out by the cult and left behind to try and fill the holes again#okay to rb
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’ve been sitting here for 3 hours about to be 4..
#sorry its blurry I took it off my iPad cause my phones dead#but Jesus Christ#I didn’t know the game was this massive#like all I knew was that It was fun and dnd#which I’ve been meaning to get into#im learning but due to work school and medical I’ve been too drained to actually sit down and LEARN#the most I know is what my Freind goon 2 has told me and what TikTok has said#😭😭😭#pls baldurs gate 3#be faster#its almost 2am#espy#but not eepy enough#also strangest thing today#while me and my dad were at Home Depot we got an alert from our ring camera that there was activity outside our house#and we also got a text from mom saying that there was fire people and ambulance people just standing outside our house pointing at it#and all talking in a big circle#which#???#what?#why are you here?#we originally thought it was for someone on our street but they literally stood there for 30 mins just staring at our house pointing#and talking#so we thought maybe someone called them on us but there would literally be no reason to#esp cause they never actually came up#and when my bro got home from work they didn’t say anything either#so like??#when we got home they were gone#🤷#weird
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m trying to get back into reading webtoons, because my ability to consume media has hit an all time low, and so I’m rereading The Remarried Empress, and I have only one thing to add since rereading it
McKenna may not be the main character but he’s the main character of my heart <3
#uni talks about the universe#webtoon#the remarried empress#mckenna remarried empress#I fucking adore this man#also side note is he and ergi a thing#they only had one scene together but low key I ship it#he deals with too much of heinley’s bullshit#love that man but he’s driving McKenna into an early grave#also just like my post I made three years ago I keep getting distracted by the pretty outfits#I need an art book just filled with the dresses of the remarried empress#pls they’re so pretty#that rose dress is still on the top of my mind to this day#also yes my ability to consume media has really gone down the drain#I haven’t been able to watch the shows I want to or read the books#its so hard and i don’t know why#hopefully this can help me start up again
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
HEY I JUST WENT TO ANSWER AN ASK AND TUMBLR DELETED IT :( IF YOU SENT AN ASK YESTERDAY COULD YOU POSSIBLY SEND IT AGAIN ??? APOLOGIES <///3
#I JUST SPENT AN HOUR WRITING & REFINING MY RESPONSE AND HIT SAVE DRAFT AND THEN IT JUST . DISSAPATED. IM SO UPSET.#THE ASK WAS ABUT PERIL’S PLACEMENT ON THE TRANSSPECTURM POST :( I WROTE A WHOLE ASS ANALYSIS . AND ITS GONE. GUH .#TWO PHARAGRAPHS OF PERIL CHARACTER ANALYSIS . DOWN THE DRAIN. HEAD IN HANDS .#also the image ID was long as hell now i gotta rewrite it all again .#I need to not write long things on tumblr but alas. im dumb as hell.#or maybe I hit the ‘post privately’ button on accident ???????#I dunno im desperate here#because this post saved as a draft just fine .
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
whelp. apparently i just hit the end of the chapter and thats why!!!!!!! honestly this internal clock for chapter length is amazing. its always coming out to be roughly the same size
#and it makes sense too that this made me hit a dead end#even if i decided to structure the format later the text flow is ofc different between two chapters#its about narrative pacing#whew this is neat#muddling in words and stuff#also as a hilarious little sidenote:#i thought this chapter was one of the shorter ones but its .. longer than the others?????? says my word count feature?????#this just proves again that i cant tell how long a chapter is at all#i just know when its enough but thats a gut feeling thats not my brain#i permanently disabled the word count feature and ive been writing with website formatting instead of digital pages#my feeling for how long smth is has permanently gone down the drains as a result
0 notes
Text
sorrryyyyu for being reflective this late at night it’s bedtime. that said i am frequently like astonished by how much my mental state has changed in such short a time… it is both better & worse at the same time. fascinating
#if u ever want to go thru a mind boggling amt of development really quickly then distance yrself from an abuser its insane#wdym i never had rsd. what do you mean those experiences are just gone now. hello. what.#you can go thru months of dissociation while still being happy as a clam because at least youre not terrified to make mistakes anymore#it’s crazy!!! and nobody even notices!!#the shame just . spiraled down the drain. i donr feel that crushing shame anymore!!!#i thought that shame was always going to be part of me i thought i would die with that deep shame and it just . disappeared overnight?
0 notes
Text
Why does hydrocodone make me want 2 interact with everyone and everything
#999#but also i am so drowsy i dont wanna move#my pain is gone tho its mostly just a mild headache and ear ringing now#the swelling has not gone down tho#i think. honestly a lot of it is fluid bc its now draining when i press on my face thru my gums#i gotta hold a piece of tp 2 it to drain it bc its so fkn nasty#imagine how yr belly button smells when u aint showered in a Whiiile right. but its liquid and in ur mouth n tastes like that nd bad breath#Having a terrible time#if u read thru these tags please god if i have any kind of tooth issue#Get it fixed as soon as u can#there are occasional free dental clinics#if yr local university has a dental thing its usually cheapest before the issue gets 2 where im at now
0 notes
Text
i need someone who just washes my hair every day bc i love having long hair but this upkeep is starting to get to me
#text#mine#ive been growing my hair out for 9 years#its past my butt in terms of length#and i trimmed like 6 or more inches off a few years ago when it got dead at the end so its not even as long as it could be#but lately all my motivation to take care of myself including w/ my hair has just gone down the drain
0 notes
Text
You’re All I Need (r.c.)
contains: swearing, angst, mentions of pregnancy, family drama.
father!rafe x mother!reader
a/n: if this goes well and finds its way into my busy schedule, i’ll turn this into a series! and guess who just hit the two-decade mark.. 🎉🎂
summary: you’re sick, exhausted, and barely holding it together while caring for your daughter, juno, alone. desperate, you call rafe, your ex and her father, for help.
who am i to want you now that you’re leaving?
•
almost a year ago, you and rafe had gotten into a big fight over the summer that left both of you saying things that couldn’t be taken back. by the time he was gone, you thought it was over for good. he stormed off and it felt like the end.
that was the same summer you found out you got knocked up.
when you finally told him about the baby, he swore he wanted to be there, for both of you. but you couldn’t do it. you didn’t his half-assed attempts at playing family. so you told him he could be in the baby’s life, but not yours.
the day your daughter was born, nothing felt real. you named her juno, inspired by a movie you’d watched a hundred times during your pregnancy. you didn’t need rafe there that day. at least, that’s what you told yourself.
and for a while, that worked. until tonight.
the fever is unbearable, heat radiating from your body as you lean against the wall to steady yourself, your legs trembling beneath you.
juno cries loudly, sharp and continuous, her small fists waving in anger from her playpen. juno was only a few months old, but the sounds she made tonight seem louder than anything, or maybe it is the throbbing in your head that is making everything clearer.
you tried to calm her down—rocking her, even her close until your arms felt like they might give out but your fever had drained every ounce of strength out of you.
rafe was in the middle of a business call when his phone rang. he saw your name on the caller ID and immediately sensed that something was off. he excuses himself from the meeting and quickly picks up.
“what’s up?" he asks, his voice filled with concern and curiosity. “do you wanna have juno tonight?”you ask, not entirely aware of what you’re doing. “i don’t don’t know..I’m just..” then you sigh. “she’s been saying ‘dada’ all day and she refuses to eat.”
rafe winced at the loud noise. juno’s cries are clearly heard from the other end. it was clear that you were having a hard time, and he felt concerned for both you and juno.
“yeah, ‘course, i’ll take her.” he replies quickly, then rafe doesn’t waste any time. telling some lame excuse to his clients, gathering his things and completely bailing on the group of people in the meeting room.
the drive to your place felt excruciatingly long, but he kept his foot on the gas, determined to get there as fast as possible. rafe offered you and juno a spot at tanneyhill but since you were too petty towards him at that time, you declined.
He rushes to his car, his mind racing with thoughts about you and Juno. The drive to your place feels excruciatingly long, but he keeps his foot on the gas, determined to get there as fast as possible.
finally, he reaches your home and practically jumps out of the car, making his way to the door and banging on it urgently.
"(name)? it’s me! open up!" he calls out, the sound of juno’s cries echoing in his ears.
when you open the door, rafe’s eyes slightly widen in worry at your appearance. he could see the paleness in your face and the exhaustion in your eyes. he quickly steps inside, his eyes scanning the room for juno.
"are you alright?" he asks, his voice filled with concern. "you look absolutely exhausted. what’s going on with you?”
“i’m fine, she’s in my room..” and rafe saw all the tell-tale signs of a fever as he watched you lay down on the couch. he knows you’re not as ‘fine’ as you claim but doesn’t push the issue for now.
a year ago, rafe cameron was chaos incarnate. consumed by his demons, or maybe he was the demon. the outer banks was his kingdom, and as much as you don’t want to admit it, the rafe walking up the stairs to go see your daughter isn’t the same man you walked away from last summer.
decades of being ward cameron’s son don’t just vanish but having a daughter changed rafe in many ways no one thought was possible. he’s more conscious, more quiet, like he’s constantly trying to prove more to himself than to everyone that he was better than the man who raised him.
you’ve seen him with juno, the way he holds her like she’s the only thing that matters in the world.
rafe watches you as you lie down on the couch, he frowns when he sees how weak you look.
he turns and heads straight to the room where juno is crying. he walks over to the crib and leans over, gently scooping up the little girl, holding her close to his chest.
"hey, little one," he coos, his voice soft and soothing. "your dad’s here." juno immediately stops crying as rafe picks her up, her small body calming at the familiarity of his touch and voice. rafe rocks her in his arms, gently shushing her and whispering words of comfort.
"there you go," he murmurs, his fingers gently stroking her soft hair. "no more cries now, i’ve got you."
he walks back to the living room, holding juno close to his chest as he approaches you on the couch.
"hey," rafe says softly, his tone showing concern. "you really don't look well." he moves closer, gently resting a hand on your forehead to feel your temperature. as he suspected, your skin was hot to the touch.
you look up to see him with juno on his hip. “just take care of her for the night.” and your eyes nearly flutter shut.
rafe saw through the way your eyes struggled to stay open. he saw how sick you truly were, but you're trying so hard to hide it.
"damn it," he mutters, his voice tight with worry and frustration. "baby, you’re in no condition to take care of juno on your own right now. you need to rest, and i can't just leave knowing you're not okay."
rafe reluctantly looks down at juno in his arms, her tiny face looking up at him with wide trusting eyes. he then glances back at you, still lying on the couch, weakness written all over your face.
"i will," he replies firmly. "but first, I'm putting you to bed. you need to rest and get better. then I'll take care of the baby."
he heads up and carefully sets juno on the crib for a moment and then walks downstairs, over to the couch, gently scooping you up in his arms.
“put me down..” you whine. "no" rafe replies firmly, his grip on you tightening slightly. "you’re burning up with a damn fever. no condition to be worrying about juno right now." he carries you towards your bedroom, his arms holding you securely against his chest. though you protest, he ignores your weak struggles.
once he reaches your bedroom, he gently lays you down on the bed, making sure you're comfortable and settled. he pulls the covers up over you, tucking you in and smoothing back your hair from your forehead.
looking down at you, he can see how exhausted you really are, the fever taking a toll on your body. but his focus quickly shifts to the crib where juno is starting to cry again, her hunger growing stronger.
rafe watches you for a moment, concerned. the feeling of your skin under his touch tells him how high your fever really is. he glances over at the crib, juno’s cries growing louder.
"stay right here," he instructs you firmly. "i’ll feed our baby, then i’m coming back to check on you."
with a sigh, rafe picks juno up from the crib and brings her to the kitchen. he goes through the motions of preparing a bottle for juno, mixing the formula with warm water and shaking it gently until it's ready. he then sits down next to your bed, leaning back against the headboard while he carefully feeds juno the bottle.
his eyes occasionally flick to you, checking on your condition. even though he's busy feeding the baby, he keeps a watchful eye on you, noticing every shiver and every sign of discomfort in your sick state.
after a few minutes, juno is satisfied, her tiny belly full and content. she starts to drift off in rafe’s arms, her small eyes growing heavy.
he carefully passes the baby back to the crib and turns his attention back to you. he returns to your bedside and sits down, his eyes studying your pale and weary face. the sight of you in this state was devouring him from the inside.
your eyes flutter open. “rafe, take her to your house..” then you turn to the side, your back facing him.
rafe looks down at you, gently taking your hand in his own, it broke his heart a little. the fact that you're asking him to take juno now.
"baby," he murmurs, his voice gentle. "you’re still burning up. i can't just leave with juno while you're like this."
it was always like this with rafe. back then, whenever you didn’t want him to care for you, when you pushed him away, built your walls high, and told him you didn’t need him, he’d force it anyway. he had this annoying way of ignoring your protests, showing up when you least expected it with that hot stubborn determination in his eyes.
if you were sick, he’d be at your door with soup, even if he didn’t know how to make it. if you were upset, he’d sit next to you in silence, waiting until you caved. it didn’t matter how hard you tried to convince him you were fine; rafe never listened. he cared in the only way he knew how to care; recklessly, even when you swore you didn’t want him to. that part of him hasn’t changed at all.
“come on, she’s your only priority at the moment.” you try sending him away. his grip on your hand tightened a little at your words. “don't be fucking ridiculous," he retorts, his voice stern. "juno will be fine with me at my house. but you're not. you’re sick and need rest and care. i’m not just gonna abandon you like this. not happening."
“you don’t have to stay anyway… you’re not my husband or boyfriend or anything. you’re just her dad.”
rafe bites down at your words. he knows he’s nothing more to you than juno’s dad, but hearing you say it so bluntly still stings.
“no, i’m not your husband or boyfriend,” he replies, his tone sharper than intended. “but damn it, i still care about you, even if you don’t want me to.”
before you can respond, a shiver racks your body, your fever making you tremble. rafe notices immediately, his frustration giving way to concern.
“jesus, you’re burning up,” he mutters, leaning closer to place the back of his hand on your forehead. “why didn’t you tell me you were this bad?” he doesn’t wait for an answer. standing up, he moves to the kitchen, returning with a cool cloth. he gently presses it against your forehead, his jaw tight with worry.
“you’re in no condition to be alone right now,” he says firmly. “especially not with a fever this high. you need someone to take care of you, whether you like it or not.”
“take her,” you whisper, your voice weak. “i can take care of myself. you don’t have to do both.”
“damn it, will you just listen to me for once?” rafe snaps, his voice low but laced with irritation. “you’re not fine. you’re barely holding it together, and you want me to just walk away? why are you so goddamn stubborn?”
“i don’t need your help,” you insist, glaring at him weakly. “just watch juno. that’s all.”
rafe exhales sharply, trying to keep his temper in check.
“what’s it gonna take for you to get it through your head that you need support too?” he demands. “i care about both you and juno, you idiot. why can’t you just let me help you when you clearly need it?”
“and why does this concern you?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper. his eyes narrow at your question, frustration bubbling over again.
“why do you think it concerns me?” he bites out, his voice rough. “you really have to ask that? you think i don’t care about you? you think i only see you as juno’s mom?”
you manage a breathy smirk, too weak to move but pleased nonetheless. “i knew it… son of a bitch.”
“knew what?” he challenges, his tone sharp. “that i actually give a damn about you more than you think? if you know, then why are you still fighting me on this? why are you so damn stubborn about letting me help?”
your smirk stays on your face, though your eyelids are already drooping from exhaustion.
“yeah, i care about you,” he admits, his voice quieter now. “you drive me absolutely fucking insane with how stubborn you are, but i still care. happy now?”
when you don’t respond, too tired to argue anymore, he shakes his head and adjusts the cool cloth on your forehead.
“i’m not leaving,” he says, and there’s no point in arguing. “someone has to take care of you since you clearly can’t be trusted to do it yourself.”
the room feels smaller with him in it, like his presence is closing in on you from all sides. he settles next to you, the mattress dipping slightly, and it’s awkward, too close for comfort, too familiar for what you are now. exes. nothing more.
“you’re gonna get sick,” you mumble, your voice scratchy and weak. “you don’t have to do this.”
“don’t care,” he says, not even looking at you. his voice is calm, steady. “you’re burning up. if i get sick, so what?”
you try to sit up, even though your body feels like it’s made of lead and your head pounds with every slight movement. the fever’s still got you in its grip, but lying there next to rafe feels like too much. too intimate. too close.
but the second you push yourself up, the world tilts. your balance wavers, and before you can steady yourself, your head drops against something solid.
his shoulder.
rafe lets out an annoyed sigh as he watches you struggle to get up, knowing full well that you're too weak to stand on your own.
"damn it, woman," he mutters as you collapse back onto him. "what did I tell you? you’re supposed to be resting, not trying to get up and walk around like a lunatic."
he gently wraps his arm around you, supporting your weakened body against him.
"just stay still and don't move," he whispers. "you’re in no condition to be up and about. you need to rest and recover. you know i’ll take care of you, right? stop trying to do everything on your own."
rafe gently runs his fingers through your hair, his touch light and soothing.
your hand finds its way to rafe’s arm, fingers gripping him weakly, as if holding on to him will keep you steady. rafe freezes at the touch, his gaze dropping to where your hand rests against his skin. it’s a simple gesture, but it feels like everything all at once.
he doesn’t pull away. instead, he shifts slightly, his own hand coming up to gently squeeze yours, his grip warm and steady, like he’s anchoring you.
“you’ll get better,” he murmurs. “just give it time and let yourself rest. let me look after you for once, okay?”
you think about the way things used to be. sneaking off when you had the chance, meeting him at the beach under the cover of darkness. stolen kisses, the kind that made your heart race. rafe was always the one who pushed boundaries, the one who made you feel alive in ways you hadn’t thought possible.
“are you sleeping over?” you ask weakly, your voice barely above a whisper.
rafe looks down at you, the question pulling him out of his thoughts. he takes in your pale face, the tired lines around your eyes, and sighs. part of him wants to say no, to avoid whatever this is turning into, but he knows he can’t leave you like this.
“yeah,” he says finally, his tone gentle but firm. “yeah, i’m sleeping here. someone needs to keep an eye on your stubborn ass so you don’t try to do chores at three in the morning.”
you let out a weak laugh, but it fades quickly. “you shouldn’t be here,” you mutter, shaking your head slightly. “it’s—it’s awkward. it’ll just make things weird.”
rafe arches a brow, his lips twitching into something between a smirk and a frown. “why are you acting like something’s gonna happen between us?” he counters, his tone light but laced with something deeper. “it’s fine. stop overthinking it and just… lay down. you’re not gonna win this argument.”
before you can protest, he gently guides you back down, his hand steady at your back. the warmth of his body against yours is impossible to ignore, but you’re too drained to fight it.
then, out of nowhere, he leans down and presses a soft kiss to your forehead. the gesture is so tender it takes your breath away, but you’re too tired to react.
as your eyelids grow heavier, your mind drifts back to the first time rafe said he loved you. it wasn’t in a quiet, romantic moment, it was in the middle of an argument. his voice had been loud, angry and raw, but it was real. rafe always let things spill out when he couldn’t hold them back anymore.
now, as sleep pulls you under, you hear his voice again, quieter this time.
“i miss you,” he whispers.
you don’t respond. maybe you’re too far gone, maybe you don’t want to. but maybe you miss him too.
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe#rafe fluff#rafe angst#rafe cameron angst#obx#obx fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x reader#babydaddy!rafe#babydaddy!rafe cameron#angst#fluff#outer banks#outer banks fanfiction#obx x reader#outerbanks x reader
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
09/15/24; 05:40pm
{ drabbles / headcanons }
[ when they see other men hitting on you ]
featuring: sylus, zayne, xavier, rafayel
sylus had allowed you to join him on one of his meetings. he had admitted to needing you by his side, just to help him cheer up while discussing plans to merge businesses together with a potential partner.
the meeting place was at a high-end bar sylus owned, filled with rooms that helped with keeping the privacy. you remain by sylus’s side, as his future business partner sat across from you. while you sit with sylus on one of the velvet seats, you became bored with each passing minute. your drink had long since been drained, your glass empty as the intimate light became reflected on its smooth exterior. time seemed to drag on, making mere minutes feel like hours.
sylus and the man kept droning on and on about the logistics of their business, talking about how each party had high hopes of supporting each other through their deal and blah blah blah blah blah…(clearly you were close to turning brain dead from boredom).
letting out a huff, you rest your chin against the palm of your hand. sylus senses how antsy you were getting, placing his hand over yours before giving it a light squeeze. such subtle displays of affection makes you smile in response, all while catching his tiny smirk as well.
while sylus’s partner reads over the paperwork, you trail your eyes toward the main floor of the bar, seeing all of the people mingling and dancing as the music began to play. as you focused on the familiar beats, you let out a gasp upon realizing that it was your favorite song that was playing.
letting go of sylus’s hand, he gives you a questioning glance. you point at the main floor of the bar, “my favorite song is playing, is it alright if i join in and dance?”
he lets out a gentle huff, “go on. i’ll join you in a moment.”
letting out a happy giggle, you press a kiss against his forehead before standing from your seat. with a bounce in your step, you walk down the stairs and join in with the others, basking in the pulsating music.
you simply follow along to its beats, body gently gyrating as you moved across the dance floor. gone was your boredom when you allowed your stiff body to dance freely, simply enjoying the music that was playing when a low whistle catches your attention.
you continue to sway back and forth, seeing a man dressed in a pristine suit make his way over to you. “whoa, babygirl, you’ve got to let me buy you a drink.”
your eyes were sparkling with amusement when you gave the man a shrug. “sure, okay.”
the man was shameless, flashing you a hungry grin that sends shivers down your spine. “so… are you seeing anyone right now?”
you had to hold back a giggle, catching sight of a familiar man dressed in a black and red suit from your periphery. a smile graces your features as you continue dancing, gesturing your head upwards towards the stairs.
the man frowns, using his pointer finger toward the same direction. “you keep looking up-“
he follows your gaze and visibly stiffens, finally noticing sylus before letting out a string of curses.
“oh shit-“
but it was too late.
with a snap of his fingers, sylus was already settled next to you, his arms forming a protective shield around your waist. “what’s this? are you trying to hit on my woman so shamelessly, despite knowing how hard your father worked to strike up a deal with me?”
“m-mr. sylus, i apologize! i truly didn’t know, honestly-!”
sylus ignores the stuttering man, choosing instead to focus all of his attention on you. keeping your chin still, sylus leans down to press a searing kiss against your lips, earning a gasp from you. it takes your mind a few seconds to process what was going on until eventually, you kissed him back.
“mr. sylus, why did you run off so soon?” with a grunt, sylus was forced to pull away from you, watching as the older man reappears, out of breath and looking quite red from drinking copious amounts of alcohol during the meeting. his eyes look back from sylus and to his son, eyes already narrowing when he points an accusing finger at him. “now what did you do to get offend mr. sylus?”
the man was left a stuttering mess, trembling beneath his father’s livid gaze, but sylus simply brushes both of them off. he hums while taking out the thick stack of papers that were meant to seal the deal between onychinus and his company. “i’ll tell you what your son did; he managed to hit on my woman all while believing he could get away with it.”
a bored expression was seen on sylus’s face when he rips apart the papers, allowing it to scatter across the dance floor before leading you out of the bar as several guns were pointed at the man, “the deal’s off, because no one tries to take my woman away from me and gets away with it.”
both men were practically trembling, mumbling out excuses as they were close to wetting themselves. a wave of empathy washes through you, and you end up placing a hand on sylus’s shoulder.
“wait, sylus, don’t do something so drastic. if you go through with this, it’ll ruin the reputation of this bar- of your business.”
your boyfriend lets out a scoff, as if annoyed that you would dare to defy him. but he sees the pleading look in your eyes and sighs. with a snap of his fingers, his men stop pointing their guns at the father and son duo.
“you’re lucky my woman is so forgiving.” sylus calls back to the men, keeping you kept tightly in his embrace before gesturing at his men to toss them out of his bar, “i suppose you’ll both get to live another day since i’m in such a good mood now.”
when zayne spoke about attending a conference that akso hospital was hosting, you quickly took him up on his offer of being his plus one.
throughout the night, you enjoyed all the foods the catering had provided for the occasion, taking sips of your wine while zayne kept a polite grip on your waistline. he was always attentive to your needs, not complaining at all when you asked him to get you a serving of some type of food or pieces of fruit you had been craving for.
from greeting his colleagues and even saying hello to yvonne and dr. greyson, you make small talk with them, with zayne remaining glued to your side as a tiny smile graces his handsome features. suddenly, a deep voice was heard calling by out to zayne.
“dr. zayne, would you mind sharing a bit of your time with me? there’s some matters i would like to discuss with you.” you look back to see an older man with salt and pepper hair calling out to zayne.
“i’ll be back shortly.” zayne takes a hold of your empty plate and cup, tossing it into one of the trash bins before coming closer to the man. as you smile back at zayne, yvonne and dr. greyson both began giving you knowing grins.
“god, it must be so nice to have dr. zayne wrapped so tightly around your finger like that.” yvonne sighs while stepping closer to you.
“truly, i’ve never seen such a respectable man turn into putty within mere seconds.” dr. greyson states all while pushing up his glasses.
you end up flushing a bit in embarrassment. “guys, it’s not like that. he’s just… a really good friend of mine.”
“hehe, friend? oh sure… but let me tell you… i’ve never seen mere friends look at you the same way dr. zayne does to you.”
the heat seems to deepen upon hearing yvonne and dr. greyson’s teasing words, yet before you could even defend yourself, they were both called by yet another colleague. “ah, we have to go and attend this conference.”
“but do tell us what happens next when dr. zayne returns!”
with both of them rushing to get to the conference on time, you were left alone, letting out a sigh as you searched the area for any signs of zayne. after spending several minutes walking around the area, trying to catch any sight of him, you gave up and let out another sigh.
resting your back against the wall, you began fingering the snowflake bracelet zayne had given you for your last birthday. seeing the light catching rainbows from beneath the tiny diamonds, you couldn’t help but admire its beauty.
ever since zayne had gifted you something so precious, you had never once taken off this bracelet (aside from the times you needed to shower). it was something that always made your heart flutter with happiness each time you admired it. while looking at the precious gift, you couldn’t help but wonder if there was some truth to yvonne and dr. greyson’s words.
“my, what’s a lovely woman like you doing here all alone?”
you were suddenly ripped away from your reveries, eyes meeting with a tall and handsome doctor that had blond hair slicked back into a neat style. his green eyes shone with amusement, looking down at you with an almost predatory gaze. you look away from him, hiding your precious bracelet behind your back.
“i’m just waiting for someone.” you stiffly tell him, hoping that he couldn’t sense your discomfort.
“oh? is it a boyfriend?”
you keep your lips sealed shut, refusing to answer his question as a chuckle fills your ears. “my apologies, of course you would be closed off from me since i haven’t even properly introduced myself to you. the name is dr. jones, and i work in the cosmetic surgery department.”
you visibly stiffen when dr. jones places a hand on your shoulder, “now, i’ve dealt with my fair share of women who wish to change themselves all in the name of beauty- but i must say, your natural beauty is utterly captivating to me. i see no reason to change a single thing about you.”
“so please, won’t you tell me your name?”
“she’s mine.”
your heart began beating faster, hearing the tranquil voice of zayne coming closer you. his eyes were glimmering with unbidden anger for the blond doctor, standing in front of you while acting as a protective shield between you and him.
“dr. zayne, it is an honor to be in your presence.” dr. jones admits tightly, clearly upset that you were already spoken for-
yet you couldn’t bring yourself to care about the other doctor’s reaction-
since all you could think about were zayne’s prior words.
she’s mine she’s mine she’s mine…
zayne gives dr. jones a stiff nod before wrapping both arms around you, “if you’ll excuse us.”
not even giving him a chance to answer, zayne walks away with you, keeping his arms wrapped tightly around you. looking back at him, he appeared so taut with anger, making you shiver as you apologized to him. “i’m sorry, i was looking for you, but then he approached me and-“
but zayne cuts you off, managing to lead you in a secluded area as he pins you against the wall, kissing you fully against your lips. your heart was felt skipping its beats in response when you finally kissed him back, seeming to melt against him.
no words were spoken when zayne kept kissing you, swallowing each and every moans of your delight as you finally relished in your mutual yearnings for each other.
xavier finally had a day off from missions and asked if you’d like to go out to dinner with him. and of course, being his girlfriend and all, you accepted.
you were eager to walk with him to the restaurant, with xavier calmly greeting the host as he tells her his name. she gives him a wide smile, taking two menus with her before leading you to a more intimate space near the back of the restaurant.
once you were seated at your table, you both look at the menu and decide what you wanted to order. as you searched through the menu, you became aware of how xavier’s converses were felt gently caressing at your bottom leg, making you giggle at his sudden playfulness. you return his affectionate gestures by placing the tip of your ballet flats against the side of his jeans, running up and down the expanse of it with your own, victorious smile.
xavier gives you a smirk, leaning across the table to give your lips a quick kiss before sitting back down just as the waiter appears.
“hello, my name is james and i’ll be your server today.” the waiter was a young man of average height, and just as he takes out his writing pad, he catches sight of you and does a double take.
his freckles seem even more prominent the moment his face flushes red at the mere sight of you. the sudden change in his demeanor makes you tilt your head in response, and xavier wasn’t too happy with the events that were unfolding.
“excuse me, but if you can stop drooling over my girlfriend, we’d like to order.” xavier’s voice cuts through the air, making the waiter’s eyes narrow in annoyance.
“r-right… sorry, what all would you like to have?”
you tell james each of your orders, and once you were done, you notice the way james’ gaze lingers on you for a few more seconds before he leaves the table. looking back at your boyfriend, you began to giggle, seeing the grumpy expression on his face while he remained seated with his arms crossed over his chest.
“oh, come on, xavier. the poor guy was really young, and i’m sure it’s just a harmless crush.”
“tch, it was not a harmless crush. that jerk looked like he wanted to whisk you away from beneath my nose. i don’t like it, lets eat out someplace else.”
“hey, don’t be silly! we are not wasting your reservation just because you’re a little jealous.” you giggle all while leaning forward, taking his hands in yours. “and besides, we both know that you’re the only man for me.”
“that better not change.” your smile widens when you manage to get xavier to smirk back at you, blue eyes filled with confidence once more. once james delivers your food, you did your best to ignore the waiter for xavier’s sake.
for the next hour or so, things went smoothly, with you and xavier enjoying your dinner as you shared your food with each other. once all the plates were cleaned and your respective drinks completely drained, you wait for james to return with the bill all while speaking to each other in soft whispers, so caught up in your own little world that you didn’t notice the plate of a decadent looking chocolate cake appearing before you along with the bill.
you look at the plate of cake, then back up at james. “oh, we didn’t order this.”
“n-no worries, it’s on the house.” james admits to you with a bit of a dreamy sigh, making this the last straw for xavier.
you watch your boyfriend stand from his seat, taking the bill before reaching over to grab at the plate of cake. with lightning fast reflexes, he smashes the cake into james’ face. “she said we didn’t order this, so you can take it back.”
your eyes go wide upon witnessing xavier’s actions firsthand, in a bit of a shocked daze when he takes a hold of your hand and leads you away from the table, leaving james a sputtering mess as he removes the plate away from his face and spits out the bits of cake. “come on, i’ll pay our bill up front.”
after processing what had happened for a few minutes, you came to your senses just moments later, “xavier! what was that about?! that was-“
your boyfriend manages to cut you off by placing a searing kiss against your lips. the sudden kiss manages to make your knees buckle from below you, since you had never felt such a passionate kiss coming from xavier before. in all of your two years of dating, xavier always managed to keep his cool.
yet now, his kisses were so deep that it rendered you speechless. it felt like he was pouring the entirety of his heart and soul into it, acting like he wanted to swallow you whole and claim you all for himself.
when the need for air proved to be too much, xavier was the first to pull away from you, his eyes appearing dilated as he rests his forehead against yours, “i’m sorry, but i won’t ever tolerate a man that dares to look at you like that-
no one will ever love you like i do, and it’s only reasonable that i punished him for daring to look at what’s always been mine.”
you were filled with pride, watching all of rafayel’s art put on display as you attended his first ever exhibit. since your beloved boyfriend was so excited to talk about his passion for art with other people, you gave him some space and simply decided to admire his works displayed throughout the building on your own.
with a glass of wine in your hands, you stop in front of a massive painting that depicted a gorgeous city hidden beneath the ocean waters. your eyes became mesmerized by the gentle lighting and the way it cast rainbows across the various castles.
truly, rafayel had a talent for capturing each scene in such a captivating manner, his paintings appearing like illustrations that came straight from a fairytale novel.
as you attempt to burn rafayel’s latest masterpiece into your very memories, you became aware of a tall figure that stood next to you. you trail your eyes, only to see a man around your age staring down at you.
“now, i know that this is an exhibit that exists to celebrate a young prodigy’s work, but can i just say, seeing you wandering so aimlessly around has me utterly mesmerized, for you are by far the fairest piece of them all.”
a shudder of disgust courses through you, filling you with a strange sense of dread the more this strange man attempted to hit on you.
“i’m sorry, but this fairest piece of them all has already been taken.” you attempt to turn away from him, but the man seemed relentless in his pursuit of you. he ends up blocking you from the front, arms already outspread to prevent you from stepping off to the side.
“oh, stop making excuses to try and avoid me. if you were taken, then what sane man would even dare to leave you all alone like this?”
he grabs a hold of your wrist, tightening his large hands over it as you winced, knowing that a bruise would form, “let go! you’re hurting me!”
suddenly, you were ripped away from that rude man, now being safely tucked within the arms of your beloved lover. “she’s taken by me, and if you don’t wish for me to cause a scene, i suggest you leave.”
rafayel’s voice had taken on a deeper tone you had never once heard before. ever since you got together with him, he had always been your cheerful and goofy boyfriend- one that was full of bright smiles and sweet laughter…
yet the rafayel that was currently protecting you held none of those soft traits. his eyebrows were knitted together in annoyance, placing both arms protectively around your front as he kept your back pressed deeply against his chest. the man was about to make another move, having every intention to rip you away from rafayel’s arms when he grabs your wine glass and throws the rest of your wine into his eyes.
the man falls to his knees, feeling the alcohol stinging at his eyes as rafayel calls the guards over. “take this man away from the premises. he’s been ruining my exhibition for far too long.”
not even bothering to stick around, rafayel takes you away and into one of the conference rooms. you feel the way he was trembling when he locks the door, making you reach out to try and comfort him.
“rafe-“
he suddenly cuts you off with a kiss, facing you within mere seconds as his trembling hands gently frame at your face. you eagerly return his kiss, slotting your lips against his in a fervent kiss that takes both of your breaths away.
within minutes, rafayel was the first to pull away, showing you his pout for a brief second before he hides his face within the curve of your neck. “how dare he hit on you and pull on your wrist like that? ugh, he deserved more than just some wine to his face. maybe i should have used my evol on him?”
hearing the slight whine in his voice makes you giggle, wrapping your arms around your beloved artist before pressing a kiss against his soft strands of hair. “don’t be silly, you don’t need to waste your powers on him.”
you listen as rafayel grumbles once more, making you grin as you gently remove his face from the curve of your neck. framing his defined cheeks with your two hands, you admire his pout for another moment before leaning forward, pressing a kiss against his pouty lips while basking in his sighs.
and thanks to your kisses alone, rafayel stopped his pouting and forgot all about the anger he felt for the man who dared to take you away from him…
end notes: jealous lads men are so 😭🙌🏻🥰 currently unedited, but i’ll make any changes once this is posted.
all stories are written by rei; please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works!!
#sylus x reader#sylus x you#sylus x y/n#zayne x reader#zayne x you#zayne x y/n#xavier x reader#xavier x you#xavier x y/n#rafayel x reader#rafayel x you#rafayel x y/n#lads x reader#lnds x reader#l&ds x reader#love and deepspace x reader#writings 📖#non-mc reader
1K notes
·
View notes