#its past my butt in terms of length
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i need someone who just washes my hair every day bc i love having long hair but this upkeep is starting to get to me
#text#mine#ive been growing my hair out for 9 years#its past my butt in terms of length#and i trimmed like 6 or more inches off a few years ago when it got dead at the end so its not even as long as it could be#but lately all my motivation to take care of myself including w/ my hair has just gone down the drain
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This post is made with speech to text because my hand hurts from typing so much today. Please forgive any typos or speech to text swapping similar sounding words.
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#made with speech to text#image descriptions#accessability#disabled#cripplepunk#neuropunk#autistic#adhd#if you care about disabled people#start writing image descriptions#especially if you're able-bodied
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My thought tonight - Frankie admiring himself in the mirror someday. Like we all love him as this guy who is kinda shy and modest about himself and we get to do ALL the body/face/personality worship. So it would be so cute if one day you came home and he was just looking in the mirror finally seeing what you see. Rubbing the bald spot in his beard we love to kiss, checking out his cute lil pancake butt and soft tummy, admiring his side profile, etc. honestly this thought is just because I suddenly wondered what it would be like to be Pedro and see someone that attractive looking back at me in the mirror š¤£
Frankie has always wondered what you saw in him. He has never thought much of himself but, somehow, his confidence has grown with you. Maybe its in the way you praise him, the way you love him. All of him. Even the parts of himself he wishes he could change.
He hardly looks in the mirror because he usually doesn't like who is looking back at him but today after his shower he finds himself in front of the full length mirror he only put in the bedroom because of you.
At first he feels silly staring at him, picking out all his flaws and imperfections, but then he closes his eyes and thinks of you. When he opens them again, he sees something different-its still him but...different. He starts with the curls on his head that are never quite tamed but he notices that his hair is full and thick and he thinks of the way you love burying your face in it to nuzzle or give him kisses and he smiles. Those curls aren't so bad after.
He touches his nose next, pressing and squeezing it to see how it would look if it was smaller or shaped differently but it changes his whole face and he doesn't like that. You like his nose on his face and now he does too. He loves the little kisses you give his nose when he's least expecting it.
Now the beard that never quite grew in as full as he would like. He was always kind of embarrassed by it and now that there were patches of grey popping up everywhere, he sometimes felt even worse about it. But then be recalls how much you love it. How you tell him that the hair doesn't grow in those patches because you kiss him there so much and he chuckles to himself while touching one of the spots. He can feel your soft lips there without you even kissing him. You love his patchy beard with the grey spots and now he does too.
Now down to the stomach that he never thought he could come to terms with. He rubs it and squeezes it, sucking it in and puffing his chest out just to see what he might look like and...he doesn't like it. He lets himself breath, lets his pudgy tummy go and...it's not so bad, is it? Its part of him. Its a part of him that you love and wouldn't change for the world. He thinks of you trailing kisses along it and scratching at it playfully, making him laugh. He smiles even more.
He is unaware that you have been standing there watching him for the past few minutes. There are happy tears in your eyes as you watch him fall in love with himself little by little.
When he turns sideways and pulls the towel away, your eyes widen. He's checking out his butt, holding the towel up to cover his front with one hand. He makes a face. There isn't much there but for some reason you love it--you pinch it and grab it and whistle when he bends over. He shakes his head and chuckles.
"Guess you still got it, Frankie," he mumbles to himself.
"You certainly do," you say, startling him.
"Whoa! You scared me. Wait...how long have you been there?" he asks, his cheeks turning a slight shade a red.
"Long enough." You walk over and wrap your arms around him from behind then look into the mirror. He looks too. "Do you finally see what I see?" you ask.
"I'm getting there, babe."
"One day at a time, Frankie baby." You put your hands on his tummy and kiss his back. "One day at a time."
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Striptease.
Pairing : Kim Taehyung x reader
Rating : Strictly 18+
Word Count : 1934
Warnings : Pure Smut, Strip Tease, Unprotective sex, Blowjobs, Straddling, Blindfolding, Handcuffs.
Summary: Its your second anniversary and you want to make it extremely special to your boyfriend Kim Taehyung, And also you may have been cooking a little surprise and a revenge to get back at your boyfriend for edging you the n number of times and endless teasing that drives you nuts. Its all a long planned night, endlessly sexy and you will make sure that he will learn his lesson today;)
It was a special morning that day as you woke up next to your butt naked boyfriend, It was your anniversary today marking 2 years with this goregous devil Kim Taehyung. This man was the human form of a sin and made you crazy in ways no one ever did.
But today you were going to redefine the term crazy between you and him. This man had you by the nerve for the past two years and now you were going to play with that soul of his today and let him taste his own medicine.
You smirked as you made your way to him lying naked on his back, you trailed soft kisses' off his ears slowly towards his neck and licking your way to his neck leaving a hot trail behind as you moved towards his chest marking little purple marks that looked too pretty.
You slowly suck his nipples and earn a moan from him, good the tiger was venturing out about and you slowly moved between his legs and positioned right at that semi hard member that was practically begging to be touched.
You lightly took his dick in your mouth and he shifted in his place and you licked the tip which was oozing precum by now and he woke up at your mouth latched at his dick right the first time in the morning.
He sounded too groggy and cute but you were just going to ignore cute for the moment and concentrate on all the times the devil had sucked your soul out of you. You worked your way up and down his length and felt him growing right in your palm. "Baby what are you--- Even before he could finish you took him by surprise by taking the entire length in your mouth. "Mother fucking hell!!! Was just one of the short curses he managed to utter in a record time.
You swirled your tongue up and down on his length and licking long stripes which made him pull your hair in pleasure. You started alternating between placing him your mouth and gagging on him. You could swear you watched his eyes roll back in his skull. You were by no means going to let him loose today.
"Baby i swear i am not letting you walk straight for the next few days if you don't stop edging me, He groaned in frustration as you edged him again. This time you were letting him get his way as he had to rush to work for a meeting with his manager at the studio, But you made sure he begged for it as you furiously deep throated him and palming him at the same time and he was going mad with pleasure, until you let his entire length touch the back of your throat thrice. You gagged but his reaction was worth it. He nearly screamed the place down your name loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear.
You felt hot spurts of cum gush down of your throat and it took minute for him to stop cumming. Literally one fucking minute to stop shivering and think straight. Now that was a one of the great start to the days. "I knew i had goddess in my arms when i moved in with you he chuckled. He pulled you on the bed but you stopped him saying knowing he had to rush and besides you were saving yourself for the finale at night.
He rushed to take a shower and you left to make breakfast but this wasn't going to be as simple as just making a good meal for your boyfriend, it was a twist a pleasant surprise actually. He had been dressing up humming something chirpy when he came to the kitchen and literally froze in his steps when his eyes landed on you.
You were right in the middle of the kitchen making his fav pancakes but stark naked, Not even a apron covering that body which he was drooling the fuck for. "Baby you are playing a dangerous game was all he could mange before you pulled him into a kiss. "Save yourself baby, you might want all the save up for tonight. You said with a smirk of a devil in your eyes.
You nearly drove him out of his mind when he continued for the rest of the day in the studio with you sending him sneak peeks in between which left him wanting for more. But it hit different when he was going on and on about how bad he needed you and you said you had placed a little something in his pocket- His favorite lace underwear all reeking of your arousal, You had sweared when he almost let the phone fall down in the toilet.
You knew you were riling him up but that was going super fun when he would be home tonight for the last surprise. You decorated your bedroom with candles rose petals and the nice comfortable chair that you had placed in the middle. you were proud of the arrangement, Taehyung was going to loose his mind today and you were absolutely ready to help him do that. A Strip tease was what you had planned for him but with a little modification.
You made sure to do your extra skincare routine before he came making an extra effort to look good but equally sexxy, You used his t-shirt to wear on a skirt making it look like a cold shoulder and wore the sexiest pair of lace you had.
You heard the door open to an impatient thud and the sound of bag, and some more stuff falling down there and until the steps became louder you positioned yourself in the chair you had for him.
His jaw dropped to the ground the moment he saw you and stumbled for support, while you looked at him with best sexy ass smirk you could ever have. "Happy Anniversary Baby" You kissed at his lips. "Baby something tells me this anniversary is going to be more than happy" You smirked in agreement and pushed him in the chair.
He sat there mostly realizing what you were up to dumbfounded because you weren't the generally the one with the brain of the devil and he would always make you see stars by his gesture but looked like today he was going to get it all back.
You played the song in the behind and you started to move sensually infront him, touching his face and his ears in the least, rather stroking them. He twitched a little in the place but the grin that he had in his face was now replaced by the sheer dangerous glint in his eyes.
You started moving around him and slowly running your fingers on his arms and neck making him quiver, you followed the beats thanks to your dancer days. The beat increased and so did your level of teasing. You didn't know at the moment whether it was you or him that earned it, but here you were right in this moment grinding on your boyfriend like your life depended on it.
You swayed his arms reached them to the knot and lifted the edge of the t-shirt with just his hands running on your bare waist while you used his hands to your benefit. It seemed like have taken to the que and he did what you wanted him to do. You could clearly see the growing boner in his basketball shorts and you continued to straddle him.
You swayed your hips with his hands still roaming around your waist and pulled your skirt down earning a hiss form his throat. Bang on it was working. You rested your legs on both the sides of the armrests and let him just feel the contact barely with your panties on. You let his hands move a more your upper body and let him do the honors of taking off the t-shirt off your body.
You could see him riling up and the song only added to it. You ran your hands through his hair making him moan while your half naked body straddled him to the beat of earned it. You pulled him bit up and venturing your hands on his body you got rid of his shirt and began feathering light kisses on his neck.
This was the most fun part you were waiting for, You gave him an another surprise by getting two handcuffs and a blindfold which you hid intentionally nearby. He hissed at sight but he allowed you to take control over him just tonight and hed be back to making you his little slut again tomorrow.
You chained him to the armrest and blindfolded him while you were still grinding against his rock hard dick right under your opening, teasing him had got you all riled up as well and all you wanted is to feel him right inside you.
He shivered under your breath as you rubbed your tits in his face and he struggled to bite them to his content. You let your bra loose and started slowly rubbing those tits on his lips which he deviously licked making you go crazy. You managed to go down on him and tried to free his basketball shorts which you thanked the heavens for, because it was quite easy to get rid of. you could see his shiny member all ready with a tip swollen red.
You adjusted it to the entrance and moving slowly as the last of the song played and you kept the movement alternating between slow to fast to dead slow which was getting him over the edge again and again and you could feel the growls in his throat as he sat there blindfolded. For the first time ever Kim Taehyung begged you to let him cum, "Baby I'm going to burst soon, Let me cum please!!!! He panted.
You took that a hint and started moving up his length furiously and your walls clenched against him making him growl loudly, He kept chanting your name which felt music to your ears and you started bouncing on his dick to the extent of you feeling your world go upside down by pleasure and him roaring your name as you furiously rode him like your entire life hung on to that dick.
It was all a blur since he and you climaxed together and you could still feel him spurting inside you as you freed him and falling back on his sweaty body. You could hear your heartbeat loud and clear and his as well. It was sight sitting on his lap fucked out, cum dripping down your pussy on to his thighs.
"Happy Anniversary baby u said" Tired. "Happy Anniversary baby, It was the best surprise and please remind me never to tease you again. "He said as he buried himself in the crook of your neck before he picked you up to clean and shower together.
#bts smut#bts imagine#bts x reader#taehyung#bts scenarios#bts taehyung#kim taehyung#taehyung x reader#taehyung smut#stripdance#v smut#taehyung scenarios#taehyung imagine#straddle#lap sitting#v x reader#v x you
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I wrote a Thing. Itās extremely long. Iād prefer it not be reblogged; I wrote this for my own catharsis and would prefer it not be circulated, bc of Reasons.Ā
I changed my mind, okay to reblog. <3Ā
Under a cut for (extreme, did I mention?) length.Ā
So I got about 12 minutes of sleep last night, as you do, and around 3am or so I found myself - out of sheer curiosity - going down a meta hole of Ragnarok discourse, trying to figure out where this "satisfying redemption arc" for Loki happened. (I mean, there's a lot of things I would like to figure out, but I started there.) Because I could.Ā
Basically I was looking for meta that went into detail about how Loki was redeemed in a satisfactory way. The āsatisfactoryāĀ is an important word here bc there is a redemption arc in the film, in that Loki starts off the film as an antagonist (kinda) to Thor and he ends the film as an ally to Thor, standing at Thor's side. In that sense, yes, there's a redemption arc. I didn't find much (and I had no idea how much people just despise Ragnarok "antis" [I really dislike that word] but that's another topic [that I don't particularly want to get into, tbh]) but I did find some. I read what I could find, and I read it open-mindedly, and overall I came away feeling like, okay, there are some valid points being made here and I can kinda see where they're coming from.
But it was a bit (a lot) like -- flat. Idk. The best comparison I can think of is that itās like if a literature class read, I don't know, The Yellow Wallpaper for an assignment, and some of the students came away from it feeling like it was a creepy story about a woman slowly driving herself insane, and the other students came away from it incensed at the oppression and infantilization of women in the late 19th century -
- and neither side is wrong, but the former is a very surface-level reading and the latter isn't (bc it stems from looking at why she drives herself insane, why she was prescribed 'rest' in the first place, the context of what women could and couldn't do back then, etc; basically, a bit more work has to go into it).Ā
[Note: I am not disparaging the quality of The Yellow Wallpaper. At all. Itās just the first relatively well-known story that popped into my head.]
In this sense, I can see the argument for Loki's redemption arc, but I don't think it's a very good argument. Not invalid, but not great.
I mean, for example, I think the most consistent argument I found variations of re: Loki's redemption is that Ragnarok shows Loki finally taking responsibility for his bad behaviour and misdeeds. This includes recognizing that his actions were fueled from a place of self-hatred and a desire to self-destruct in addition to bringing destruction on others. That he probably feels awkward and regretful of these things and doesn't know how to act around Thor, but he figures it out by the end, and decides that returning to Asgard is the best way to show that he's ready to make amends. His act of bringing the Statesman to Asgard is an apology. He allies himself with Thor and ends up in a better place, both narratively (united with Thor once again) and mentally (having taken responsibility and made amends for his past).
And setting aside that he had already made amends by sacrificing his life in TDW (and also setting aside that the argument is made that Loki redeems himself in IW by sacrificing himself to Thanos but if that's the case, wouldn't that imply that he hadn't achieved redemption in Ragnarok or else there would be no need to achieve it again in IW? Or, if you think he did achieve redemption in Ragnarok, then what the fuck did he give his life in IW for? What was his motivation there, and why did the narrative not make it clearer? I digress.)Ā
- setting aside those two factors, I think this is a very fair argument. LokiĀ is fueled by self-hatred, and he does want to self-destruct, and he does want to inflict that pain on others as well (particularly Thor). No lies detected here.Ā
However, I also need to know where that self-hatred and desire for destruction (toward himself and others) comes from and for that, we need to go back to Thor 1.
Thor 1.Ā
LokiĀ starts Thor 1 out as "a clenched fist with hair," to borrow a quote from the Haunting of Hill House (that I tucked away in my mental box of Lovely Things bc it says so much so very simply). He's very used to bottling everything up, pushing it down; he slinks around behind the scenes, pulling the strings to this plot or that.Ā He's "always been one for mischief," but the narrative implies that the coronation incident is the first time Loki's done anything truly terrible. And it all immediately pretty much goes to shit, so Loki spends the rest of the movie frantically juggling all these moving pieces while trying to seem as if he's got it all under control, every step of the way. That's how I view his actions.Ā
ButĀ I always come back to that quote where Kenneth Branaugh tells Tom, of the scene in the vault, "This is where the thin steel rod that's been holding your mind together snaps." In other words this is where Loki discovering he's Jotun is just one thing too many. He can't take it. But though the rod snaps, his descent isn't a nosedive. It's a tumble. As the story progresses, the clenched fist starts to loosen, the muscles are flexed in unfamiliar ways (that feel kinda good, after being stiff for so long), and it culminates with the hand opening completely and shaking itself out.Ā All of that repression, that self-hatred, that rage and jealousy just explodes so that, by the time the bifrost scene happens, Loki's already hit bottom. It's not just about proving his worthiness to Odin. He wants to hurt Thor, too; he, essentially, throws a tantrum. (That's right, I said tantrum.)Ā
(Note: The word 'tantrumā has negative connotations bc we normally equate it with a toddler stamping their feet and screaming in the aisle when their parent won't buy them the toy they want. But in itself, the word tantrum isn't infantalizing. It's an "emotional outburst, an uncontrolled explosion of anger and frustration" [paraphrasing from dictionary.com]. That's exactly what happens here [and why Tom called Loki's actions a massive tantrum, but people took that to mean Tom agreed it was childish whereas I doubt Tom meant it that way]).
He's been pushed past his limit, and he does bad things. He does really shitty things. He hurts Thor, he hurts his family. I'm pretty sure he knows this all along so this isn't, like, some revelation further down the line that "hey, those things I did were probably kinda bad." He got the memo already.Ā
RagnarokĀ
Fast forward to Ragnarok, and we're introduced to a version of Loki who's had 4ish years to sit with everything that's happened. To sit with it and not do much else. The rawness of it has faded, and now it seems as though it's just become a thing, like when you move through life aware of your childhood traumas and have more or less just accepted them (and you probably share a lot of really funny depression memes on Facebook, which is kinda the equivalent of Loki's play, but that's probably just me).Ā
Loki has, more or less, chilled out.Ā He seems more bored than anything else; he's been masquerading as Odin for longer than he ever planned or intended to, so he's more or less ended up hanging out, letting Asgard mind its own business, and entertaining himself with silly plays. This is the version that starts out the movie as an antagonist to Thor - a version that is, arguably, in a much different place [and is a much milder threat] than the version who originally did those Bad Things.Ā
And of course Thor is still mad at him, and of course they're going to butt heads, because that's what they do (and Thor's grievances are genuine, Iāll add, bc it's not really his fault he assumed Loki faked his death, nor can he be blamed for being pissed about Odin).
One argument framed this version of Loki as being a person who is facing the awkwardness of coming out of a dark place, which is fair. If we're going to frame his actions in Thor 1 as a tantrum, then Ragnarok would be the part where the toddler has been taken home, possibly has had some lunch and a juice box, and is now watching cartoons. They're over the tantrum, and would probably feel pretty silly about it if they weren't, yknow, toddlers. They probably can't remember why they even wanted that toy so badly. If they're a little older and self-aware, they might even be embarrassed for having melted down.
Like the word tantrum, this feeling isn't a thing limited to toddlers. I know I've had a fewĀ epic meltdowns as a grown ass adult, and I know I always feel deeply embarrassed afterwards - like, want to crawl into a hole and die. I've said things I can't take back. Adolescents and teenagers throw tantrums, mentally ill people throw tantrums, adults throw tantrums (I mean, my god, look at all the videos of Karens having screaming meltdowns - screaming! - over having to wear masks in order to shop at stores). Humans throw tantrums. And usually, after the feelings have been let out and the tantrum has passed, humans feel pretty regretful and awkward and embarrassed about whatever they did and said in the midst of their meltdown.Ā
I get all of that and agree it's valid and that Loki probably feels it. By the time Ragnarok happens, Loki's had some time to reflect and think hmm, yeah, probably could've handled that one a lot better. The argument further goes that in order to navigate this awkward period, Loki must come to terms with what he's done, acknowledge that some things can't be unsaid or undone, and begin to make amends.Ā Supposedly, some people feel that Loki becomes a better person because he does "own" everything he did wrong and, even though he feels like a jackass (paraphrasing), he sets that aside to become a become a better person by choosing to help Thor and Asgard at the end.Ā
Thus, the overall arc goes like this.Ā Loki, Thor's jealous little brother,Ā
throws a tantrum of epic proportions bc ReasonsĀ
continues to act badly and make things even worse (Avengers)Ā
has to face consequences for his actions (prison sentence)Ā
ends up with a stretch of time in which he's free to contemplate and chill outĀ
feels embarrassed and awkward about how he's behaved
sees an opportunity to make up for it and decides to take itĀ
helps Thor, saves the day, and ends the film a better person.Ā
Redemption achieved.
None of this is wrong. The film supports it. It's a fair interpretation. But it leaves. out. so. much.
To circle all the way back around Loki being "a clenched fist with hair," and his actions stemming from his self-hatred, you have to ask - how did he get that way? He didn't end up with all this self-hatred on accident. Generally, one isn't born despising themselves, it's a learned behavior. (I realize chemical imbalances are a thing, obviously, as I have Mental Shit myself, but for argument's sake I'm assuming that's not the case with Loki [at this point in time]).Ā
Where did Loki learn it? From his family, from his surroundings, from his culture. We see examples of these microaggressions in the first, like, twenty minutes of the movie - a guard openly laughs at Loki's magic after Thor makes a joke about it (the tone of the conversation implies that Thor "jokes" like this often) and though Loki does the snake thing, the guard faces no real consequences. Thor doesn't acknowledge that anything went amiss. Not much later, on their way to Jotunheim, Loki's barely gotten two words out to Heimdall before Thor cuts him off, steps in front of him, and takes charge. Loki doesn't look annoyed at this; he looks resigned.Ā
Then, for absolutely no reason at all, Volstagg decides to make a jab at Loki ("silver tongue turned to lead?") just because he can. The ease with which he makes this comment and the way that no one else blinks an eye at it implies that this isn't out of the norm. And Loki doesn't react, not really. In the deleted version, he delivers a particularly nasty comeback but he delivers it under his breath, without intending Volstagg to hear it. In the final version, he simply says nothing, though his expression can be read as hurt or stung. Either way, the audience sees an example of Loki being walked all over by Thor and his friends and bottling up his reactions instead of standing up for himself.Ā
Microaggressions matter. They are mentally and emotionally damaging. They hurt. The implication that this is not unusual treatment for Loki means that Loki's probably gone through this for most of his life. It's like the equivalent of being, I don't know, twenty two and you're the friend who has to walk behind the others when the sidewalk isn't wide enough, and it's been that way since the first day of kindergarten. At this point, you're used to it, but that doesn't make it hurt any less when the jabs come seemingly out of nowhere, for no reason other than to make you feel bad.
(I personally identify a lot with this bc I experienced passive bullying in social settings for years. I was the 'doesn't fit on the sidewalk' friend; I hung around with people who'd pretend to be my friend and would be more or less nice to my face, but would laugh at me and make fun of me behind my back for whatever reasons. And often there'd be the random jabs at me, things that would come out of nowhere to smack me in the face, followed by the fake laugh and ājust kidding!" so that I couldn't even get upset without being made to feel like I was overreacting and couldn't take a joke. I'd deal with this socially, particularly in middle school when girls are their most vicious, and then I'd go home and, because I was the only girl with a lot of brothers and because boys are mean and because I am who I am, the dynamic was that my brothers would just endlessly roast me to my face and sometimes it was a "just kidding!" thing, where I was the only one not laughing. But thatās beside the point; my point is that microaggressions, passive bullying, and consistent invalidation are harmful and that shit stays with you into adulthood.)Ā
So, yes, Loki needs to be held responsible for his misdeeds, and it's valid to say that he recognizes those misdeeds and wants to make amends. I have never disagreed with that. But the problem with this interpretation is that it lets every single other character who contributed to Loki's self-hatred and mental breakdown (let's just call a spade a spade here, that's what it was; he was broken psychologically) get off scot-free.
First of all,
Odin is not held accountable for instilling in the princes a mentality of Asgard first, everyone is beneath us but Jotuns are benath us the most, they are literal monsters. He is not held accountable for pitting his sons against one another (even if it was unintentional, he still did it) with "you were both born to be kings but only one of you can rule" being the general tone of their upbringing. He's not held accountable for his favoritism toward Thor.
Frigga is not held accountable for deferring to Odin both in supporting the above things and in keeping the truth of Loki's origins a secret while doing nothing to discourage the "monsters" narrative.Ā
Thor is not held accountable for his own tendency of taking Loki for granted (he assumes Loki will come to Jotunheim, he oversteps Loki constantly, āknow your place,ā etc.. He grants his implicit permission for Loki to be treated as the sidewalk friend in their āgroup,ā a group which is loyal to and takes their cues from Thor as Thor continues to do nothing in his brother's defense).
[Note: Wanting Thor to be held accountable for things he's done wrong isn't vilifying him. Acknowledging that Thor benefited from Odin's favoritism and his own place as Crown Prince doesn't negate Thor also being raised in an abusive environment. I don't think anyone's saying that or, if they have, it's not something I agree with.]
Furthermore,Ā
Odin is not held accountable for his cruelty in disowning Loki (āyour birthright was to dieā is never going to be forgotten, speaking of people saying things that can't be unsaid or taken back) and in sentencing Loki to a severe prison sentence (life! only bc Frigga wouldn't let him execute Loki) for crimes that are no worse than what Odin himself has committed (around which the entire plot of Ragnarok revolves! Colonialism (and subjugation) is wrong is, like, a major theme [that people rush to praise, even] here).Ā
Thor is also never held accountable for not trying harder to understand what made Loki snap (fair enough, he didn't have a ton of time after returning from Earth, but certainly he had lots of time to sit around reflecting while Loki was being tortured by Thanos for a year). He knows Loki is "not himself" and "beyond reason" and accepts it at face value; he questions it once and then lets it go. He's fine with assuming Loki's just lost his mind, and isn't that a shame. (I realize I'm simplifying Thor's emotions but my point is that Thor could've tried harder to figure out that Loki was being influenced and/or not acting completely autonomously.)Ā
Thor is also never held accountable for - if not facing consequences for his own slaughter of Jotuns - then at least addressing why Loki can't kill an entire race even though Thor tried to do that, like, two days ago. (Granted, itās difficult to understand how Thor got from Point A ("let's finish them together, Father!") to Point B (this is wrong!), but that failing belongs to Thor 1 (which is not, by the way, a perfect movie).
The interpretation that Loki is fully redeemed because he took responsibility for his actions, returned to Asgard, and allied himself with Thor to save their people is all well and good - but, why is Loki theĀ only oneĀ here who has to take responsibility for their actions?Ā
What about all the loose threads in his story?Ā
For example, how did he get from:Ā
Point A (believing himself a literal monster, having a complete mental breakdown, getting tortured and further traumatized after that, etc)Ā
toĀ
Point B (Hey, yknow what would be fun? I'm going to write and direct a play about how I heroically died to save Thor and Jane, and I'll go ahead and have Odin say he accepts me and has always loved me. I'm going to do these things because Odin never said this in real life and instead of acknowledging my sacrifice, Thor left my body in the dirt, so someone has to validate what I've done right and that someone might as well be me. And hey, while I'm at it, I'm going to control the narrative on revealing myself as Jotun to Asgard, instead of living in fear of it being found out, and I'm going to do it in a way that they have to sympathize with me and revere me in death, bc they never bothered to do so when I was alive. And Matt Damon should play me, also.)Ā
toĀ
Point C (Yeah, I guess I feel kinda awkward about that whole tantrum thing, also I should help Thor and support him being king.)
?Ā
The answers to these questions are handwaved and the audience takes that to mean they don't matter. Furthermore, framing Loki's redemption around an act of service (more or less) to Thor makes Loki's redemption about Thor. Does Loki make this decision for the sake of Thor and of Asgard, or does he make it for himself? It's not super clear to me, and I think arguments can be made for both. Which, again, is fine, but - whatever.
If we're going to collectively agree, as a fandom, that Loki is complex, that he's morally gray, that he's worthy of redemption and therefore arguably a good person who's done bad things, then why is it asking too much to have it acknowledged that Thor (also a good person who's done bad things) played a part in Loki's downfall and has shit to apologize for, too? Bc one can only assume the reason is that you're taking a very gray concept and making it black and white by saying Loki has to apologize and make amends because he is theĀ villain, and Thor doesn't because he is theĀ heroĀ (and it's his movie). AndĀ it's lazy.
This is where the crux of the issue lands. There's more than one valid interpretation, yes. And no two people (or groups of people, or whatever) are going to consume and therefore interpret or analyze the source material in the same way. I think I saw a post recently about how studies have been done on this, in fact. But, there is a lot going on under the surface that tends to get overlooked when exploring Loki's redemption arc in Ragnarok, as far as I can see, and thatās why I donāt consider it satisfactory.Ā
[I did read similar arguments regarding other issues that are often debated ('debated'), like Loki's magic and/or being underpowered, whether or not Loki's betrayal of Thor was the natural outcome of the situation on Sakaar or not, whether Thor actually gets closure with Odin [if he does, how does he reconcile the father he's idolized with the imperialistic conqueror he's discovered? Why doesn't he hold Odin responsible for covering up Hela's existence and the threat of her return, especially as he knew he was nearing the end of his life? Is Thor's "I'm not as strong as you" meant to imply that he acknowledges those shortcomings of Odin's and that he's okay with them, or that he's just overlooking them, or is he not okay with them but didn't have the chance to get into it bc he was in the middle of battle? T'Challa confronted his father on his wrongdoings in Black Panther; could Thor not have had at least one line that was confrontational enough to establish where he stands as opposed to this gray middle? Can someone explain to me how any of this equates to Thor gaining closure? Please?) but obviously I'm not going to go into all of them (well, I tried not to), bc this mammoth post has gone on long enough (I may not even post this tbh)]
- but my overall point to this entire thing is that when I say I'm critical of Ragnarok bc it's flawed, that Loki's arc was neither complete nor satisfactory, that many things went unaddressed and, due to all of these things, I do not think Ragnarok is a very good movie nor a very cohesive movie, this is where I'm coming from. I have not seen anything to change my mind to the contrary.Ā
But I amĀ notĀ saying that anyone satisfied with it is wrong, or shouldn't have the interpretation that they do. I'm not vilifying Thor in order to lift Loki up, just acknowledging that Thor is arguablyĀ just as flawed asĀ Loki without the stigma of being Designated Villain. I think a lot of these arguments get overlooked or dismissed, and that's fine, but it doesn't make the people whoĀ doĀ engage with them hateful, or bitter, or trying to excuse Loki's crimes, or feeling like redemption means that Loki's crimes should beĀ erasedĀ rather thanĀ reconciled.Ā
And sure, yes, perhaps we are expecting too much and exploring all of these themes (or wanting them explored) means that somehow we think it should be Loki's movie (we don't). Loki is a supporting character, but he's still a character. And the movie itself doesn't have to delve into all these things - no one's saying that. (At least, I'm not.) We just want acknowledgement, from the narrative, that this stuff was an Issue.Ā
This could have been accomplished with -Ā
Some dialogue closer to the novelization (and original script), like Thor and Loki both acknowledging the harm they've done one another and their kingdom due to their Feels.
Ā A single line of Thor confronting Odin, or even asking "Why?"Ā
A narrative acknowledgement that Odin did both Thor and Loki dirty (āI love you, my sonsā isn't an apology, because it doesn't acknowledge either that there's been wrong-doing or express regret for having done the wrong in the first place).Ā
A little bit more nuance in the way Loki treats his own past (ie, instead of flippantly telling the story of his suicide attempt, maybe - if it must be flippant - talk about getting blasted in the face with Hawkeye's arrow or sailing through to Svartalfheim [And in that moment, I sang ta-daaaa!]) or whatever.Ā
I recognize that wanting full, in-depth exploration on all of these issues regarding a supporting character is probably too much to ask or expect - but, I also feel like, if you're going to be professionally writing a narrative (or rewriting/improvising, as it were), it's not too much to ask that a little more care be taken in regards to all of the layers that have contributed to said supporting character'sĀ downfall and subsequent redemption arc. I don't think that's an unreasonable thing to want.Ā
And maybe if there had been more nuance and continuity in how these things were portrayed on screen (ie, if TW had actually done as good a job as his stans think he did), the fandom wouldn't have divided and conquered itself over which "version" of the same character is more valid and whether or not the film did its best to close out a trilogy (not start a new one), to the point where everyoneĀ in this fandom space makes navigating it feel like walking through a minefield.Ā
But, I meanĀ
(Again, please donāt reblog if possible.)Ā
Edit: Okay to reblog. <3Ā
#i tried to format this so that it wasn't just#walls of text#sooo#ragnarok critical#anti ragnarok#charlotte's loki meta#negative loki meta#fandom wank#i wrote this bc i needed to get it out#bc seeing some of those posts last night was rough#both meta wise and 'antis are horrible people' wise#it was cathartic#but i don't want it to be reblogged bc#people are mean#to put it very simply#so there we are#clearly i didn't have much work to do today#i don't know how else to tag this#anti anti anti#if you like ragnarok skip this post#i am criticizing ragnarok in this post#mood gif
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worthy/a self indulgent reservoir dogs fanfiction
This is my first full length fanfiction on this blog, and on Tumblr, in fact. Itās self indulgent which I apologize for ( a real niche fic, lol ), but I made it so that you can insert yourself into it.Ā
Quick note for trigger warnings: child kidnapping, violence, blood, swearing, and stressful situations! Please donāt read if these things offend or trigger you.Ā
Hereās a legend of terms to help you understand it better: Y/N=your name, H/C=hair colour, F/B= favourite band, and it includes he/him pronouns, but its flexible for readers who identify with other sets so everybody is included! Okay, now that I got that boring stuff out of the way, Iāll give you a quick rundown of the plot. You ( Y/N ), are the adopted child of the Reservoir Dogs and Eddie Cabot, in a scenario in which they have been working together since you were a baby. It isnāt a gay relationship, more of a co-parenting kind of situation, but you can totally read it that way if youād like! You were kidnapped by a duo of hitmen meant to kill your dads, and you think youāre going to die. I created this with a trans boy reader in mind, because I myself am fluid. Go right ahead and change it to fit you though, however you can make it personal! Sorry if the formatting in the post is messed up, Tumblr has been nothing but a pain in my butt all week. Please enjoy, and let me know if you want requests or headcanons done!Ā
Y/N screamed as the shots rung out in the warehouse, his back pressed against the wall with turtled shoulders and neck.Ā
The cry that escaped his lips shook his whole body, lungs and vocal cords violently quivering within his chest.Ā
Darkness filled his sight when he snapped his eyes shut. But the image of his assailants, the rogue hitmen meant to take his fathersā lives over his, was burned into his brain like he was cattle that had just met the branding iron. Though he didnāt see them with his physical eyes, he saw their faces anyways. Grizzled, stubbled brutes riddled with silver scars from past jobs, savage grins yellowed; a harkening back to the primitive times when man and beast were one, and had only one thing in mind--carnage.Ā
Meaty hands pointed cocked revolvers at him, dead set on making sure that Y/N Vega-Cabot did not survive after today. He braced himself for the bullets. For the sharp steel to tear open his insides. Poison his blood, of which would pool around him in a gruesome halo of crimson. Agonize him with pain, pain that would ultimately be his demise. For the assassins to leave him for dead, his frigid corpse to be found by the people he had sacrificed himself for to save. The Dogs and Eddie would do everything in their power, going against divine supremacy itself to keep the boy alive. It would all be futile, as he was rolled into the intensive care unit. Unnatural gazes of worry would plaster the expressions of the six men, running alongside the stretcher, hands gripping the rails, turning knuckles pallid. There was nothing left inside Y/N anymore that could be revived. He was dead, gone for good. His dads would mourn for years to come, and he knew it was quite possible that they would never recover. His death would push them into unaltered, pure madness. Driven crazy by the fact that they had not kept their promise to him, vowing for constant of their sweet son.Ā
He wanted to fight back against the attack. Every fibre in his very being was urging him to. Screaming at him to move, dodge, do something. Yet, he knew he couldnāt. He hadnāt been able to from the very beginning of his kidnapping. He would have if he had the chance, absolutely. It seemed fate thought differently, though. An apology formed in his words, an inaudible murmur that only Y/N could feel. He inhaled, centring himself for the onset of death.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Iām so sorry, Eddie, Johnny ( Brown ), Jeremy ( Pink ), Freddy, Vic,Ā Larry,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Iām so sorry I couldnāt be a better son for you...
ā No! Not him!Ā ā the voice shouted, making him open his eyes. In that moment, all of time came to a grinding halt for him. He could only watch in silent horror as Pink leapt in front of him. His suit clad body shielded the teenager, hunched over him in a protective position. He saw with wide eyes the bullets pierce Pinkās back, pass through his chest, and lodge themselves in the wall beside his head. The excruciation on Jeremyās face was unmistakable, his cheeks ashen and eyes flashing. Y/Nās blood boiled in his veins, effervesced with sudden dread and fury. How could he have let this happen?Ā
The weaselly Brooklyn con artist coughed, spitting up a mouthful of guts onto the front of his button up shirt. Mr. Pink crumpled at his sonās side, head smashing into the linoleum floor. He screamed out, hugging his ribs. Already his breathing was heavy, strained, worn thin, and it worried Y/N. Exposed, an even more torturous sight awaited the boy.Ā The hitmen lay dead, no longer a threat to him. He wasnāt sure if it had been a quick death or not, but judging by the state their bodies were in--carved by bullets like Swiss Cheese--he assumed it was the latter. That fortuity had come with a price. His heart wrenched, pangs of guilt stabbing him with brutal precision. Blonde, Eddie, and White had been hit in the conflict, and were sprawled out bleeding near him.Ā
ā Eddie, Vic, Larry,ā he whimpered, unsure if they had survived.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā This is all my fault... I killed them, and itās all my fault...
To his immense relief, Whiteās head shot up the moment he spoke. The words caught in his throat, like an invisible hand clamped around his neck. He didnāt know how to react, just gawking. White wasnāt able to hold back a gasp. He forced himself to his hands and knees, scrambling towards his son. Each movement forward was terribly painful for the older criminal, only clouded by alleviation. The knowledge that nothing had befallen the teenage boy. Y/N had no time to speak, Larry tackling him in a tight hug. Holding him close to his battered chest, hands cupping his head of H/C hair to his heart, which was pounding at breakneck speed.
ā Y/N! Y/N, oh my god, Y/N!ā White cried, and Y/N following suit. It was too much to take. Too much to keep bottled inside. All of the tension in his body released, a weight lifted off his shoulders. He hugged White back, letting his Dad sway with him in his arms. He hushed him, kissing his head gently in a way only a father could. But Y/N was worried, though, deathly worried. Worried for White, for Blonde, for Pink, and for Eddie, who had put themselves in danger to rescue him. There was no time to waste. He had to get them to the hospital, somehow. He had to find Bonnie, who would be sympathetic to his case. She was always there to help, as far back as he could remember. They needed a doctor, A.S.A.P.Ā
But how? How was the question. And he needed an answer, fast.Ā
Y/N couldnāt drive, at least not completely legally or on the highway. If he had his motorcycle he could, but that would only work in the context of one of them being hurt. And he had no car or motorcycle on hand anyways that he owned. Then there was the issue of bringing all four of them there in one trip, not multiple. Pink would be dead in half an hour, the others not having much hope either. The horrible reality was sinking in, a gaping hole in Y/Nās chest opening. What was their cover story? How would he pay the bills, if Eddie didnāt make it? And how would he be able to look after them when he would be parted from the men in the ICU? Heād have no input, no say, no chance to be at their sides. If one, or two, or three, or all of them were to pass, they would go out without Y/N there. That made him shudder, more tears pricking his eyes. Sometimes he hated how fate seemed to like turning his life into a living hell.Ā
ā My baby boy, oh, Y/N... We were so scared, kid, so scared wouldnāt get here in time... I... Iām sorry, Y/N. This is all my fault, I shoulda never let you go off by yourself like that...ā he trailed off, interrupted by Pinkās hoarse laughter.Ā
ā No shit, dumb-ass,ā classic sarcastic Jeremy, Y/N thought.Ā ā God, at least youāre okay, Y/N,ā a cough racked him, paining both father and son--Pink in literal pain, and Y/N at seeing him in such a miserable state. He nodded, biting back another cry. Again, Pink grinned, calling out:Ā
ā Alright, whoās alive here in this dump? Or are you dicks all dead nā shit?āĀ
The collective groans of the other criminals came, the most vocal of them being Blonde.Ā ā Iām gonna kill you after this, Dimmick. Hey Y/N, son, how ya doinā aside from almost being shot and all?ā For the first time in the past few chaotic hours, he laughed. An undisguised, genuine, real laugh at Blondeās gentle teasing and barely checked anger.Ā
ā Iām hanging in there, Dad, just chilling. Donāt worry, Iāll get you all medical attention,ā he resolved, pulling out of Whiteās steel-like grip. He got to his feet in a flash, and helped the curled up Pink into a better position propped against the wall of the warehouse. He assessed the damage, which was significant. The entry wound was black, the once pristine fabric of his shirt sodden with blood. His breaths were more laboured than before, a sickly tinge tinting his skin. This man was dying right before Y/N.Ā
ā Shit.ā he cursed, the harsh obscenity out of place in his normally jubilant terminology. The bloodflow was bad, spilling out of Pinkās front in slow trickling streams. The time frame Y/N had was slipping between his fingers, like the golden sand of an hourglass. A very narrow window that heād have to get in very fast. Very, very fast. He knew what heād have to do, the prospects slim, but he had to try. For their sake. What kind of a son would he be if he didnāt pay them the debts he owed? He was useless, doing nothing but causing the entire situation, and he had to try to make it right. He tore off his F/B t-shirt, his bound torso bared for all to see. It made Eddie and Vic wince, Jeremyās eyes widen, and Larryās jaw drop open in shock. Never would he walk around in public without a shirt, but he didnāt care too occupied to do so.Ā
ā Y/N M/N Cabot-Vega, what in the actual hell are you doing, young man?ā Eddie hissed, his shoulder and thigh searing with hot agony.Ā
ā Finally being a worthy kid, Dad. So please, let me fucking work.ā he retorted, pressurizing Pinkās wounds with his shirt. Jeremy flinched at it, both in discomfort and half-effort chagrin.Ā ā Y/N, that was your favourite shirt...āĀ
ā Your point?ā he replies, silencing his dad. He pushed down on the injury, his hair falling above his eyes. He blew it out of his face, chewing his lip in concentration. Time slowed again in that ten minute span. Y/N dragged White and Pink to the doors of the warehouse, dashing outside into the warm California afternoon. The sounds of children playing nearby and a stereo inside a bungalow hit him, an unsettling change of scene. Life really went on without you, he thought. He was able to think clearly now, his senses sharpened beyond compare to any other moment in his life. It was a blur to him, but not simultaneously, a strange feeling for someone like him. Hotwiring a decent condition retro Station-Wagon, he backed the car up into the main loading area. As the car idled, one by one he brought the injured Dogs out. Hoisting Pink and Eddie up with their arms around his neck. Steadying Blonde. Pulling White across the concrete. Shoving them into the vehicle. Then, he floored it, racing through red lights, barely dodging pedestrians.Ā
ā Hear my prayer, whoever is up there.ā he muttered, merging onto the highway. He gripped the wheel, speeding down the pavement. In retrospect when he looked back, it seemed that the gods had bestowed their blessing on Y/N. He had made it in the nick of time, screaming for help in the parking lot. An off duty paramedic had helped him bring the Dogs in, and get them to proper care. Joe had arrived shortly after he called from the hospital phone. After an elaborate lie, one surgery, and a week of recovery, Blonde, Eddie, Pink, and White were on their feet again. Everything had been taken care of, as promised to Y/N.Ā
The day they went home, Y/N hastily went to go to his room. He had to come down from the climax of the past few days--he was overtired, starved, and in the midst of sickness brought on by anxiety.Ā
ā Y/N? Hold on a second,ā Pink stopped him. Y/N halted in his tracks, one brow arched. In one swoop, his dad squeezed him in a hug. He melted under his touch, perplexed but relieved. He knew his dad must have been shaken up, to the point where his aversion to physical touch had been pushed aside. Pink sighed, patting his son on the back.
ā Youāve always been a worthy kid to me.ā he turned, and walked away, leaving Y/N in the living room to head out to the balcony. In the next room, White was busy cooking lunch while he talked on the phone. To whom, he had no idea. Blonde lounged shirtless outside with Pink and Eddie, sipping a Coors. The three men played poker, laughing together. Brown and Orange had gone out for groceries, and Joe was working upstairs. The sounds of his home warmed his heart, putting all his nerves at ease. Everything was and would be fine for Y/N. He smiled, moving towards the balcony. The sun beamed down on him, catching his locket in the light. The white of his F/B muscle shirt shone bright. Eddie grinned, waving him over.Ā
ā Hey, Y/N! Cāmere and have a game with your pops! DealĀ āem in, will ya, Blondie?ā Y/N gave a laugh, sitting down between Pink and Eddie. The latter ruffled his hair affectionately, putting one arm around the kid.Ā
#killingitreservoirdogsstyle#Reservoir dogs#Mr White#Mr Brown#Mr Orange#mr pink#Mr Blonde#nice guy eddie#Quentin Tarantino#movies#lgbtq#fanfic#parenting#coparenting#dysfunctional family#trans reader#reservoir dogs x reader#fanfiction#self insert
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The Beach House
Summary: Reader is insecure about her body on a vacation with the Avengers, but a certain supersoldier shows her he thinks sheās stunning.
Warnings: Smut
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā When Tony had said he was taking the team on a retreat, a private beach house in Malibu certainly hadnāt been what Iād expected. The place was enormous, with over a dozen bedrooms, a home theatre, a pool, and access to its own private beach. After what the team had been through in the past year, Tony had insisted we all deserved to spend a little time relaxing and being pampered.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā In all honesty, I felt a little out of place being here with the rest of the Avengers. Iād only been recruited six months ago, and on tenuous terms ā Iād originally worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. as a Level 6 agent, although Iād started in Level 5 as a biomechanical engineer. It was my knowledge of biomechanics that landed me at the Avengers compound. The Avengers had been in need of someone familiar with the subject, and Maria Hill ā who had been my commander at S.H.I.E.L.D. and whom Iād remained close with after ā had recommended me to Tony Stark. He had been reluctant considering him and Maria had been on unsteady terms since heād fired her from Stark Industries, but when I created an implant for Rhodey that meant he didnāt have to wear the braces to walk I had been eagerly welcomed onto the team.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Since then I had assisted with things such as successfully allowing Vision to hold his human appearance even without the mind stone, helping Dr. Banner control when he changes into the Hulk, and repairing/upgrading the tech in Sergeant Barnesā arm. My place had initially been strictly in the compound, but when Tony found out I was also trained in espionage I was sent out on a few recon missions. And although in the last six months I had created friendships with the other Avengers, I just couldnāt shake the feeling that I didnāt really belong here.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āYou do know that the whole point of bringing the team here was so that we could enjoy the sunshine, right, (Y/N)?ā Tony said wryly as he walked into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of scotch. With a glass of lemonade in hand and a book tucked under my arm I had just been about to head to the den to curl up and read, which I explained to Tony. He shook his head.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āYou can read outside,ā he said. āAt least go sit by the pool and be around the rest of the team and act like you want to be here.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āI do want to be here,ā I protested.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āThen get your butt out there. I didnāt spend a fortune on this place for people to sit inside by themselves.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā With a sigh, I allowed Tony to usher me out the patio door. Most of the team was either at the beach or in the city, but Steve and Bucky were in the pool tossing a football back and forth. I took a seat on the wicker rocking chair under the cover of a large umbrella and had just cracked open my book when I noticed that Tony was leaving.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āWhere are you going?ā I accused, and he grinned.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āPepper is waiting for me on the beach.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I glared at him. āThen why did you drag me out here?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āBecause some sun would do you good,ā he replied, āand because you have to stop spending so much time alone. Now I gotta go, enjoy!ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā He waved as he disappeared down the path that led to the beach, and I was so annoyed I contemplated going back inside just out of spite. It was a beautiful day, though, and I had already settled in so I turned my attention back to my book.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā For awhile, it was nice ā I read my book while in the background the guys continued their game of catch. It wasnāt as peaceful as being alone, but Steve and Bucky were the two least rowdy members of the team and Iād be lying if I said it bothered me having the two shirtless supersoldiers there. If I was going to be forced into company, at least theirs was unobtrusive and pleasant.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā It didnāt take long before more of the team returned, though. Sam came out of the house, having woken from a nap, and Natasha and Wanda had returned from shopping and had decided to come sunbathe by the pool. Suddenly I was feeling less than relaxed. With Sam thrown into the mix, Steve and Buckyās game of catch was much louder and more aggressive. And with Nat and Wanda, who both looked like poster girls for a Playboy magazine, laying by the pool in the new bikinis they had bought I was feeling even more out of place than usual. I glanced down at the denim shorts and baggy t-shirt I wore and suddenly felt like a whale next to a couple of mermaids.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āSam, god dammit!ā I heard Nat shout and I looked up to see that the football had landed in her lap, spraying her with water. Sam had the decency to look apologetic only for a moment before he snickered.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āMaybe you shouldnāt sit so close to the pool if you donāt want to get wet,ā he pointed out.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āMaybe you should learn to throw a football,ā Natasha retorted, tossing it back at him with a perfect spiral.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āThose are fighting words,ā Bucky taunted, and Sam grinned.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āI propose a match. Guys against girls,ā he said. āLosers cook dinner for the winners.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Wanda shook her head. āThereās only two of us and three of you. Thatās unfair.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā(Y/N)!ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Steveās voice startled me, and I cursed internally as I looked up to see the five of them looking expectantly at me. I shook my head.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āIāll pass,ā I said. āFootballās not really my thing, and Iām not in the mood for swimming.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āOh, cāmon!ā Nat said. āItāll be fun! We can show these boneheads how itās done.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āYou wish,ā Bucky snorted. I shook my head again.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āReally, guys, Iām good. Maybe some other time.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I was hoping theyād drop it, but of course it was never that easy. āIs it that you canāt swim?ā Sam asked.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āI can swim,ā I defended. In fact, I normally loved swimming. But with both Natasha and Wanda looking like goddesses in their skimpy bikinis and the three very fit guys, there was no way I was going to go put on my basic one-piece bathing suit and come back down just to feel insecure.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āYou havenāt been in the pool once since we got here, (Y/N),ā Steve pointed out gently. āThereās got to be a reason.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āTony said the retreat was for relaxing,ā I replied, a slight bite to my tone. āYour idea of relaxing may be playing games in the pool, but mine is not.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Steve held up his hands in surrender and I felt bad. He truly was one of the nicest people on the team and I hadnāt meant to snap at him, but my patience had expired and I was starting to resent Tony for forcing me to be more social.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Not knowing what else to say and feeling awkward, I got up and headed inside. I looked out the kitchen window to see that Nat and Wanda had jumped in the pool and the five of them were laughing and having fun. With a pang of jealousy, I retreated to the den with my book.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā The next day, I stood in the full-length mirror in my room and stared at my reflection. Iād put on my bathing suit ā a black one-piece with a corseted neckline that showed a modest bit of cleavage. Although it did make my breasts look good, I couldnāt help but take note of everything I hated ā the less-than-flat tummy, the cellulite on my thighs, the rolls that even the black material couldnāt hideā¦I thought of how Natasha and Wanda had looked in their bikinis, and a noise of disgust pushed its way from my throat. I peeled the bathing suit off and threw on some shorts and my old Star Wars t-shirt before making my way downstairs and out the patio door to the deck.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā It was still fairly early, the morning sun warm and the birds chirping. Most of the team was still asleep or watching TV in their pyjamas so I had the backyard to myself. I walked over to the pool and sat down on the edge, letting my bare feet dangle in the water. It was cool but not cold, just enough to feel refreshing in the Malibu heat. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, letting the sun warm my face.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āIā¦I donāt mean to intrude,ā a soft voice said behind me, and I turned to find Bucky standing there with an apologetic look on his face. āSteve made breakfast; he saw you were awake and was wondering if you wanted some.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I blushed and ducked my head, embarrassed that heād caught me in a vulnerable moment. āUh, yeah, sure,ā I said. āIāll be right in.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Bucky nodded and then headed back inside. I waited a moment and then followed.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Later that night, we decided to throw a party on the beach to celebrate our last night in Malibu before returning to New York and to work. A big bonfire roared on the beach, and some of the team had started a game of beach volleyball. Clint and Scott were manning the barbecue, and the guys were pounding back hamburgers and hot dogs as quickly as they could make them. I had to admit it was nice seeing the whole team so carefree and having fun. I even convinced myself to join in on a game of volleyball with Peter, Wanda and Thor, and found myself laughing as Thor tried to rein in his strength to make it a more even playing field.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā As it got dark the party only intensified, but I found myself growing tired of the prolonged social interaction. Waiting until I was sure no one would notice, I slipped away from the party and made my way back up to the house.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā At night the back deck was lit with thousands of fairy lights. I once again sat down on the edge of the pool, contemplating going for a swim while everyone else was down on the beach, but before I could get up to change into my bathing suit a shadowy figure appeared on the path. I stiffened, but when he stepped into the light and I saw it was Bucky I relaxed slightly.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āThis feels like deja-vu,ā he chuckled, and I gave him a small, shy smile.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āHow come you arenāt at the party?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āI saw you leave. I wanted to make sure everything was alright.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I flushed as a weird feeling blossomed in my stomach. āIām fine,ā I assured him. āJust needed some air. I love the team, but sometimes these parties can beā¦ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āA little too much?ā Bucky finished for me and I nodded. He gave me a small smile before coming to sit next to me, dipping his own feet in the water. He stared down towards the beach as he spoke. āI know better than most how it feels to be overwhelmed around people,ā he murmured. āI know how easy it is to isolate yourself when youāre the newest team member and you feel out of place, but trust me when I say that everyone wants nothing more than to make you feel like a part of the family. Speaking from experience, they will keep trying to include you in things until you cave and just go with it.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I pursed my lips and shook my head. āI donāt isolate myself āā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā(Y/N), cāmon. If you arenāt on a mission or in your lab working, youāre off somewhere alone with your nose buried in a book.ā Bucky chuckled. āI get it, itās tough when everyone else already has a history with each other. But the team thinks youāre great. Trust me.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I finally turned my head towards him to find he was already looking at me. I bit my lip, my cheeks still warm.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āWhen I was a part of S.H.I.E.L.D.,ā I explained, āI felt like I was on an even playing field with everyone else. Sure, there were those with higher clearances than me, but we were all just human. But nowā¦ā I trailed off. āIām surrounded by highly trained assassins and the worldās smartest people and superhumans and a god. Of course Iām going to feel out of place, Iām the least qualified to be here.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Buckyās eyes widened and he shook his head. āIf you were unqualified to be a part of the team, (Y/N), then Maria would have never suggested you for the job and Tony would have never recruited you. The team is lucky to have you.ā He grinned and flexed his metal arm. āBesides, if it werenāt for you, I would have to go all the way to Wakanda whenever I needed maintenance on this thing. You certainly give Shuri a run for her money.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā For what felt like the hundredth time that night I blushed. Bucky and I had been alone together on a few occasions when I was working on his arm, but this felt different. It was personal, and if I was being honest, Iād had a small crush on the supersoldier since Iād met him six months ago. I was suddenly highly aware of the fact that we were alone.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āSo this is the second time Iāve found you out here by the pool,ā he pointed out after a moment of silence. āI know you like to swim, (Y/N); you use the pool at the compound all the time.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I shot him a confused look. āHow did you āā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āYou arenāt the only one awake at ungodly hours,ā he chuckled. āI have a hard time sleeping. Nightmares. Iāve seen you sneak to or from the pool on a few occasions.ā He shook his head. āSo why were you so reluctant to swim here? The pool here is so much nicer than the one at the compound.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Suddenly my throat was dry and I turned my head away from him. āIf I tell you, youāll think itās stupid,ā I mumbled.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āI promise I wonāt. Tell me, (Y/N).ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āI justā¦I donāt feel comfortable around the team,ā I admitted, my eyes trained on my lap. āEveryone is all so in shape. Hell, Nat and Wanda look like frigging supermodels walking around here in their bikinis. And then thereās me. I already feel like an outsider, but if I was next to them in their bikinis, I justā¦I couldnāt do it. Itād just make me feel worse about myself.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā For a moment we sat in silence, but I could feel Buckyās eyes on me. I had never told anyone about my insecurities like that before, especially not to a man as gorgeous as Bucky Barnes. When he still hadnāt spoken I began to panic, worried Iād made a mistake in opening up, but finally his soft voice broke through the silence.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā(Y/N)ā¦(Y/N), look at me.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā When I didnāt move, he shifted his body towards me and then lifted his flesh hand to take my chin gently between his thumb and forefinger to direct my gaze to his. His blue eyes were soft as he looked at me.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āAre you kidding me?ā he breathed. āYou wouldnāt join us in the pool because you were scared of what people would think of you in a swimsuit?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I frowned and pulled away from him. āYou donāt get it,ā I snapped. āYouāre just as in shape as the rest of them, if not more so. Iām the only one on the team without abs.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Bucky shook his head. āDo you think youāre the only one with insecurities, doll? Weāve all got āem,ā he said to me. āYou seem to think that Natasha is so perfect, for example, but you know how much she hates that scar on her abdomen from the time I shot her.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I shook my head. āItās a little scar, I donāt know why itās such a big deal to her.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āAnd what about me? Do you know how long it took me to feel even somewhat comfortable wearing short-sleeved shirts, let alone no shirt at all, around the team? I was ashamed of my arm and I hated the scarring on my shoulder from it. A year ago, I wouldnāt have been in this pool because I always felt like everyone was staring. But you know what? I was tired of missing out on things because of my anxiety and I quickly found out that everyone on the team had better things to do than judge me about a metal arm and some scarring.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āI know it sounds ridiculous,ā I groaned. āBut itās the way I feel. Whenever Iām around the two of them I feel like a boulder next to diamonds.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Bucky snorted, and I glared at him. He shook his head apologetically. āIām sorry,ā he breathed. āIām just having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that you think youāre any less beautiful than Natasha or Wanda.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āIām not blind,ā I retorted. āThey have supermodel bodies. I canāt compete with that.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āWhy do you feel like you have to? This isnāt a competition, (Y/N). Your size doesnāt determine your worth as an Avenger or as a person, so it shouldnāt matter.ā He grinned before standing and tugging his t-shirt over his head. āAnd for what itās worth,ā he said as he tossed the shirt onto the deck, āback in my day, a woman with a body like yours drove men wild.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā My eyes widened as I felt the blood rush to my face. āWhat are you doing?ā I asked him.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āGoing for a swim. You gonna join me?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I shook my head in protest. āIām not wearing a bathing suitā¦ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āNeither am I,ā he laughed. āThatās what underwear are for.ā Bucky slid his shorts from his hips, leaving him in nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs. He grinned mischievously at me before jumping into the pool. āCāmon!ā he called when he resurfaced.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āBucky, I donātā¦I canātā¦ā I stammered, but he was already swimming over to me. He stood, his hands on the concrete on either side of my thighs as he looked up at me.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āCome on, (Y/N),ā he murmured. āPlease? Just let yourself be carefree for once. If it makes you feel better, I wonāt look until youāre in the pool.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I pursed my lips, but there was no way I could say no to him, not when he was looking at me like that with those impossibly blue eyes. Finally, I rolled my eyes and groaned.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āFine.ā I said. āBut turn around. Donāt move until I say.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Bucky obeyed, a grin on his face, and I stood up to yank the t-shirt over my shoulders before shimmying out of my shorts. For a minute I stood there with my arms crossed over my chest, feeling terrifyingly exposed. At least I had thought to put on my matching black lace bra and panties earlier that night. Taking a deep breath, I slipped into the water quietly, making sure the water was deep enough to come up past my chest before I spoke.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āOkay,ā I said softly, and Bucky turned. He grinned at me.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āWas that so hard?ā he teased.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āHarder than it should have been,ā I admitted, and Buckyās grin turned into a sympathetic smile.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āI donāt want you to ever feel insecure or uncomfortable around me, (Y/N). Iāve always got your back, okay?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I could only nod, at a loss for words. Hesitating, I let myself step deeper into the pool until my feet no longer reached the bottom and I had no choice but to swim. I had to admit it felt good; swimming had always been my favourite way to relax.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āSo, are you sure you donāt mind missing the party?ā I asked Bucky as I swam a lap around the pool. He shook his head.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āNah, Iām happy where Iām at right now.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Warmth spread through my body, and I smiled to myself. We swam in comfortable silence for a little bit, just enjoying the peace and quiet. At one point I came up for air, pushing the hair back from my face and not realizing Iād come up in the shallow end and the water barely reached my hips. I opened my eyes and found Bucky standing a few feet away, his eyes locked on me and his jaw slack.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Cheeks burning, I quickly dropped to my knees in the water and wrapped my arms around myself tightly, horrified. āYouāre staring,ā I accused in a shaky voice, and Buckyās eyes widened as if heād just realized what heād done.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āShit, Iām sorry,ā he said quickly. āI didnāt mean to, (Y/N). Itās justā¦youāreā¦ā Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā He was rambling, clearly uncomfortable, and I frowned as tears stung the backs of my eyes. āI get it,ā I muttered, but Bucky shook his head.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āI donāt think you do get it, doll,ā he murmured, his voice huskier than it had been before. When my brow furrowed, he took a couple of steps towards me, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. āIt blows my mind just how much you donāt get it.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āDo you have a point to make,ā I snapped weakly, āor are you just going to keep making me feel shitty about myself?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āYou have no reason to feel shitty about yourself, (Y/N); especially not with me.ā He took another step closer, then another. āYouāre perfect.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āWaitā¦what?ā I shook my head, confused. āBucky, what the hell are you talking about?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āYou, silly girl. Iām talking about you,ā he murmured. āYouāre beautiful. Iāve thought so since the first time I laid eyes on you, and it kills me that you donāt see it. If you could see what I see, see how absolutely stunning you areā¦ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā At this point my head was swimming. This was a joke; he was messing with me, knowing that I was at my most vulnerable right now.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā But Bucky wouldnāt do that ā He was one of the kindest people I knew. And all I had to do was look at his eyes to know he was being sincere.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āWhy?ā I whispered.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āWhy what?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āWhy me? You could have any girl you wantedā¦ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āI want you, (Y/N),ā he insisted. By now he was standing in front of me, and when I wouldnāt stand he sank to his knees so we were more at eye level. āI donāt know how to say it to make you believe me, but I think youāre the most beautiful woman Iāve ever seen and god, I would spend every day of my life making sure you knew it if youād let me.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā For a minute I couldnāt speak. I just stared at him, shocked as a lump formed in my throat, and then tears were spilling down my cheeks. Buckyās eyes widened.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āDonāt cry, doll, shit. Did I say something wrong?ā he breathed. āI didnāt mean to upset youā¦ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āNo,ā I said, shaking my head as I swiped at my tears in embarrassment. āYou did nothing wrong, Bucky. I justā¦I keep waiting to find out this is all a joke but youāre serious, arenāt you?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Buckyās face softened. āOf course Iām serious! Iāve been wanting to tell you this for months but I just never knew how.ā He chuckled, his cheeks tinted a light pink. āYouāve got no idea what you do to me, doll. Walking around the compound in those leggings and your loose t-shirts, hinting at whatās underneath. Youāre sexier all covered up than those other girls are in their bikinis.ā He bit his lip. āDo you know how many times Iāve had to leave the gym while youāre training because of what you do to me?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Heat flooded my body, and if I werenāt already on my knees those words certainly would have brought me to them.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āBuckyā¦ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āI donāt want you to think I got you into the pool just so I could get you to take your clothes off,ā he said quickly, looking suddenly embarrassed. āI truly did just want to help you move past your insecurities. But then I saw you and honest to god, doll, you took my breath away.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I ducked my head. āNot even a part of you wished I was thinner?ā I asked in a quiet voice. Bucky reached out to cup my cheeks in his hands.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āAbsolutely not,ā he said firmly. āI grew up in a different time, doll. One where women had curves and were desired even more for it.ā His hands slid from my face to my shoulders, then down my back to rest on my waist. The contrast between the warmth of his flesh and the chill of the vibranium sent shivers through me, and he grinned. āBesides,ā he murmured, āI like having something to grab onto when Iām with a woman.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Buckyās fingers dug gently into the flesh of my waist and I inhaled sharply. He held my eyes and I could feel heat pooling in my stomach as I watched the blue in his eyes slowly turn black as the reflection of the fairy lights made them glitter.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āBucky?ā I whispered breathlessly.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āMmm, doll?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āKiss me.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Buckyās grip tightened on my waist as he pulled me closer, and then he inclined his head until his lips just barely brushed over mine. He waited a few seconds, uncertain, but when my hands reached up to clasp behind his neck and pull him back to me his lips pressed against mine with more pressure. My fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck, tugging gently, and Bucky groaned into my mouth, giving my tongue access to explore. I dragged it lightly over his bottom lip before touching it to his, and suddenly we were no longer on our knees. Bucky had pulled me up and lifted me into his arms, my legs straddling his waist as he carried me over to the edge of the pool. He sat me down, his body still between my legs, and kissed me with fresh vigor as his hands roamed over my thighs.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I broke the kiss, ducking my head. Suddenly I felt too exposed and Bucky could tell because he took his hands from my thighs to instead intertwine them with my own hands.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā(Y/N), hey,ā he murmured. āItās okay, if you donāt want to do thisā¦ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I shook my head. āItās not that, I justā¦ā I trailed off, biting my lip. The next thing I knew, Bucky was lifting my hand to lay it flat against his chest, right where flesh met metal. My eyes widened slightly and he gave me a small smile.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āBuckyā¦ā I whispered. I had touched the arm countless times when I was doing maintenance on it, but he had made it very clear from the beginning that no one was to touch the scars. And now here he was, encouraging me to do so.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āItās okay, doll,ā he murmured, his voice husky. Hesitating, I ran my fingertips lightly over the puckered skin, still an angry pink even all these years later. I could feel him shiver underneath me but he didnāt move, his eyes trained on my face as I traced the jagged lines.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āDo they still hurt?ā I asked quietly, and Bucky shook his head.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āNot really. Once in awhile Iāll get a ghost pain as a reminder of how it happened, but more than anything itās just ugly.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I leaned in to press my lips softly to the scars. āNothing about you is ugly.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Bucky pulled my lips back to his as his hands slid back to my thighs. āThatās the point Iām trying to make, doll,ā he murmured. āI could say the same thing about you.ā He slid his hands further up my thighs and I could feel my body reacting to his touch. The heat in my stomach had returned and my body shifted until I was pressed against him, my legs wrapping around his torso while he deepened the kiss. His hands moved from my thighs to my hips, fingertips gliding over my flesh and sending shivers up and down my spine.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā When his fingers reached the clasp of my bra I froze, and he pulled back from me to meet my eyes. āIf you want me to stopā¦ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āNo, I donāt, butā¦right here? Bucky, we could get caughtā¦ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā He shook his head. āEveryoneās too wrapped up in the party, no one will bother us for awhile.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āAnd if youāre wrong?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā With a noise that could only be described as a growl, Bucky was climbing out of the pool and pulling me to my feet. Before I knew it his hands slid under my thighs and he lifted me up as if I weighed no more than a bag of flour, wrapping my legs around his waist and carrying me towards the house. Shifting my weight to one arm to open the door, his lips attacked mine as soon as we were inside. My hands tangled in his hair as our lips fought each other for dominance, and when my legs tightened around Buckyās waist he backed into a table and knocked a vase of flowers to the floor. It shattered and Bucky disconnected his lips from mine in annoyance.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āShit,ā he swore as I giggled.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āYou might wanna be more careful, Sergeant,ā I teased. āTonyās probably gonna get charged for that.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Buckyās eyes met mine, blue irises nearly swallowed whole by his pupils. āCall me that again,ā he growled, and I arched an eyebrow.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āSergeant?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āFuck,ā he groaned, his fingers digging into the flesh of my thighs as my back hit a wall. His mouth was all over me and his touch was dizzying, and I tightened my grip on his shoulders. I could feel my control fading, more quickly than it ever had with anyone else. I pulled my lips away from him with a gasp.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āIf we donāt get to a bedroom right now,ā I said to him, āthen someoneās gonna walk into this kitchen and get a show they arenāt expecting.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā With a wicked smirk, Bucky made for the stairs and took them two at a time. His room was closer and we crashed through the door, lips still locked together and hands exploring hot, damp skin. Bucky kicked the door closed behind us and then set me on my feet, hands still lingering at my waist.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āFuck, youāre so beautiful,ā he murmured huskily, and my cheeks burned. Suddenly I was shy again and my legs felt weak. I set a hand on his arm to steady myself and his grip on my waist tightened. ā(Y/N), if you donāt want to do this we can stop right now,ā he said in a quiet voice, his tone gentle and sincere. āI would never ask you to do something you donāt want to do.ā He lifted one hand to brush a wet strand of hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear. āAll I want is for you to know how stunning I think you are.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā My breath hitched and I looked up to meet his ocean-blue eyes. āI do want this,ā I whispered. āI want you, Buck. More than anything.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āThatās all I needed to hear,ā Bucky murmured, and then he was leaning in to kiss me. It wasnāt like the other kisses, that had been all passion and lust; no, this one was soft and sweet and fueled by pure emotion. When he slowly pulled away, he nuzzled his nose against mine affectionately before meeting my eyes.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āIt would be so easy to just ravage you right now,ā he said in a low, even voice that sent shivers through my body, ābut shit, doll, I want to do this right. I wanna take it slow and memorize every inch of you, have you squirming underneath me till youāre begginā me to stop and Iāve ruined you for all other men.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā As he spoke his Brooklyn accent came through and that, paired with his words, sent a wave of heat crashing through my body. I couldnāt stop the whimper from escaping my mouth, and Buckyās lips curved into a smirk.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āThat sound good, baby doll? You want it nice and slow? Want me to ruin you so Iāll be the only one to ever be able to satisfy you again?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I had never heard Bucky talk like this; I hadnāt even known this side of Bucky existed. He was usually so reserved, and on the occasion that he did let his guard down he was still the early twentieth-century gentleman he had been raised to be. But thisā¦Now I was starting to understand why Steve was always saying that Bucky had been such a ladiesā man back in the day. If heād talked like this to any woman, she wouldāve been lifting her skirts for him in seconds.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I wanted to say something witty, something along the lines of āWhy donāt you use that talented tongue of yours for something else,ā but in that moment my wits had completely escaped me and I was a hot, flustered mess. Instead, I barely managed to muster a breathless āYesā as I looked up at him with half-lidded eyes. He lifted his flesh hand to run a calloused thumb over my lips. In a brief moment of bravery, I grazed his thumb with my teeth and then sucked it into my mouth, my eyes not leaving his.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Buckyās eyes widened. āShit, doll,ā he swore softly, and then his hands were tugging me closer until my body was flush with his. His hands moved to grip the flesh of my backside, one cold and one hot on my skin, and I moaned into his mouth as he kissed me. I could feel the outline of his manhood against my hip, solid and large, and when I shifted against it his hands on me tightened.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā He backed me up until my legs hit the bed and then he was lowering me onto the mattress, crawling up after me until his body hovered above mine. He held my eyes for the briefest of moments and then I was pulling him back into a kiss. He pressed his hips down into mine and in return I bucked up into him, craving the friction I needed to relieve the pressure building inside me.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Bucky slid a hand underneath me to undo the clasp of my bra with deft fingers, and then he broke our kiss to trail his lips down my throat to my collarbone as he slid the damp garment from my shoulders. My nipples, hard from a combination of the cool dampness of my bra and my arousal, stood erect as my chest heaved with ragged breaths. Buckyās eyes were pools of black in the dark room, tongue darting out to wet his lips as he drank in the sight before him.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āTouch me,ā I begged in a raspy whisper, and then his hands were on me ā one cool and smooth and the other hot and rough ā roaming over my curves but purposely avoiding my breasts. He finally cupped them softly, fingers kneading flesh, and when his thumbs brushed over my nipples, I arched up into him with a soft moan.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āSuch a good girl,ā he murmured. āPromise Iāll take real good care of you, doll.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā His hands slid down my body at an agonizing pace, and with them so did his mouth. He latched onto a nipple and sucked it gently into his mouth and his name left my lips in a breathless plea. He moved onto the other nipple, his hands slowly sliding further down my body. When the fingertips of his metal hand reached the waistband of my underwear he hesitated, his eyes meeting mine.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āTell me what you want, doll,ā he murmured.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āI want youā¦ā I whined, but Bucky shook his head.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āThat could mean anything. I need you to tell me exactly what you want; Iām not doing anything until you do.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I was so strung out already and heād barely even touched me ā I wasnāt even sure I could form coherent sentences at the moment. āYour hand,ā I managed to rasp, and when his flesh hand inched up my thigh I shook my head and reached out to grasp his wrist. āNo. The metal one.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Buckyās eyes widened. ā(Y/N), I āā he choked, but I cut him off.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āYou asked what I wanted,ā I pointed out, and then in a softer voice I added, āPlease.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Blue eyes burned as his left hand slid up my thigh slowly, pushing the black lace aside and exposing the heat between my legs. He let out an almost-silent groan at the sight.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āAlready so wet for me, doll,ā he whispered, voice thick with desire. His metal digits swiped through my wetness, spreading it over my folds, and I let out a shuddering whimper at the contrast of his cool fingers on my aching heat. He continued to run his fingertips through my folds, and once he was satisfied he sank one and then two fingers into me, drawing out an obscenely embarrassing moan from my lips.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āDonāt hold back, doll,ā he murmured. āI wanna hear every pretty little noise that comes out of that pretty little mouth.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā As he spoke, Bucky flexed his fingers inside me and I cried out, back arching off the mattress. He smirked.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āSo tight, doll,ā he praised. āGonna feel so good around me when Iām inside you.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āBuckyā¦ā I whimpered, and when he pulled his fingers out of me I let out an exasperated whine that set him to chuckling.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āDonāt worry, doll, itās only for a second,ā he assured me, and then he was on his knees between my legs and tugging my damp panties from my hips. āI gotta make sure youāre good and ready for me, youāre so tight I wanna make sure I donāt hurt you.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I didnāt have time to respond before two thick metal digits were once again filling me up and his tongue left a hot, wet stripe up my folds to my clit. I let out a strangled gasp, hips bucking up into his face as my hands instinctively tangled in his damp hair. I tugged on the dark locks and Bucky groaned against my folds, sending vibrations through me that freshly slickened his fingers and tongue. He began to slide his metal fingers in and out of me at a steady pace, not rough but not exactly gentle either, and the feel of his fingers curling against my inner walls combined with the way his tongue drank down everything I had to offer him and his lips wrapped around my clit had me on the edge in no time. With one last hard suck my moan evolved into a strangled scream, his name falling from my lips in heated ecstasy. He brought me down with kitten licks as his fingers slowed, and then his teeth nipped the inside of my thigh affectionately before he slid up my body to kiss me languorously.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I could taste myself on Buckyās lips and it fueled my desire. I locked my legs around his waist, grinding my still-sensitive wet heat against the bulge in his boxer briefs. He let out a grunt and rolled his hips into mine, teeth grazing the skin of my throat.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āNo more teasing,ā I said breathily. āNeed you inside meā¦Now. Please, Buck, I canāt wait another secondā¦ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Not needing to be told twice, Bucky shed his boxer briefs and then his body was over mine again. I could feel his length, hot, heavy and solid against my hip, and I reached down between us to take him into my hand. Bucky let out a small hiss, and butterflies filled my stomach when I realized how large he was. Now I understood his comment about getting me ready had been more than just dirty talk. As I slid his length through my slick folds to coat it in my juices, though, I concluded that he would have no trouble; the feel of his hard cock against me was enough to have me dripping with fresh arousal.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā(Y/N), fuck,ā he said through clenched teeth, and with a demure smile I lined him up with my entrance and let go of him.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āRuin me, Sergeant,ā I murmured, and with a purely animalistic growl Bucky sheathed himself fully in me in one slow thrust.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā We both let out long, low groans, and Bucky held himself still as I squeezed my eyes shut and adjusted to his size. The stretch of my walls around him bordered on painful, but it was overshadowed by the deliciously satisfying feeling of being so completely full of such a beautiful man. A beautiful man who was looking down at me with both undeniable adoration and feverish restraint.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āJust tell meā¦just tell me when,ā Bucky grunted, and I realized he had been holding his breath. Wickedly, I squeezed my walls around him and he gasped, blue eyes wide as he let out a string of curses from his kiss-swollen lips. He fixed a glare on me and shook his head. āDo that again, doll, and this is gonna be over before weāve even had a chance to start.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āSo start, then,ā I said in exasperation, and with a glint in his eyes Bucky pulled out almost all the way only to thrust back into me with force, knocking the breath out of me. In a few thrusts I was matching Buckyās rhythm, hands on his back pulling him as close as humanly possible to me as nails dug into flesh.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā The room quickly filled with the grunts and moans of passion, accompanied by the sound of skin on skin. Buckyās hands slid under my thighs to lift my legs and wrap them around his waist ā This new angle not only let him hit that elusive spot in me that even I often had a hard time finding, but it also had his pubic bone grinding against my clit every time he pounded into me. Within seconds this new position had me keening, and Bucky grinned down at me before nuzzling his face against my neck.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āThat feel good does it, baby girl?ā he panted into my ear, every word punctuated by a calculated thrust of his unforgiving length into my yielding heat. āYou got me so fucking hard, seeinā how wrecked you are underneath me. Wanna draw those pretty noises from you all night long till everyone knows how good I make you feel.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āBuckyā¦ā I whined, nails biting deeper into the taut flesh of his back as he drove into me fiercely. āBuck, Iāmā¦ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā As quick as he started, his movements stopped. I opened my mouth to protest, breathless and hopelessly strung out, but with his length still inside me he flipped us over so I was straddling his hips. In this position I could feel him even deeper inside me, something I hadnāt thought possible, and with a moan my head fell back. I could feel him chuckle beneath me, and then his hands were on my hips and he was rocking me against him slowly.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I took over the movements, grinding my hips against his until we were both groaning in pleasure. Buckyās hands slid up my thighs, over every curve and up to my breasts. He took them into his large hands and brushed his thumbs over my nipples, bringing a breathless moan from my lips as I arched into his touch.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āSo beautiful,ā he murmured, and the softness of his tone had me opening my eyes to see that he was looking up at me with absolute adoration shining in his eyes as his thumbs traced across my breasts, still cupped in his hands. It was in that moment that I realized this had not been a heat-of-the-moment thing, nor did he intend for it to be a casual thing. This man ā this beautiful, remarkable, supersoldier of a man ā was as infatuated with me as I was with him. Dizzy with this revelation, I placed my palms flat on his hard chest to steady myself.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Bucky rolled his hips up into mine gently, and then with more vigor as the seconds passed. It took no time at all for me to find myself on the edge of release. I could tell Bucky was close, too; his thrusts, which had been delivered with precision up until now, were sloppier and more erratic. I leaned down to capture his lips in a fiery kiss.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āCome for me,ā I panted, my voice barely above a whisper. āCome for me, Buck, I wanna feel you.ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā He let out a soft curse in what sounded like Romanian, and then one hand was on my waist pulling me onto him while he drove up into me, while his flesh hand snaked between us so he could press his thumb onto my still-sensitive bud. That did it, and with a cry I came undone. Bucky was only a few seconds longer, spilling into me with a quiet groan that sent a small wave of heat through my spent body.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Exhausted in the best way possible, I collapsed on Buckyās chest, and his arms wound around me to hold me closer to himself. He rolled us over so that I was more comfortably snuggled into his side, smoothing my damp hair away from my face and pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. It was like that that I fell asleep, the soft rise and fall of his chest lulling me into a peaceful slumber.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā A sharp knock on the door woke me up the next morning. Sometime through the night Bucky must have pulled the covers over us, but now I poked my head anxiously out from under the cocoon he had created. Another knock sounded, and this time I sat up and elbowed Bucky in the side. He let out a grunt in annoyance, still half-asleep, when Steveās voice followed the knock.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āBuck, are you awake in there? Cāmon, Tonyās rounding everyone up. He wants to leave by eleven.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā At this Buckyās eyes opened, and he glared at the door. āIāll be on time,ā he snapped. āWorry about yourself, punk. I just have to pack.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Steve muttered an indistinguishable response. When Bucky was sure he was gone he rolled over to nuzzle his face against my neck, arms pulling me tight to him.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āMorninā, doll,ā he murmured into my skin, sending a shiver through me.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āMorning,ā I replied, the feel of his lips on me temporarily making me forget we had just almost been caught. I wanted to continue where we had left off the night before, but I knew that Tony was very strict in his scheduling and the clock on Buckyās nightstand said it was already ten-thirty. Reluctantly, I went to pull away from Bucky, but his arms around me tightened.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āNot yet,ā he mumbled, metal hand skimming over the skin of my hip and raising goosebumps. āWe still have time.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āBuck, I still have to pack,ā I protested unconvincingly. āBesides, Steve almost caught usā¦ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā As if on cue, more voices sounded out in the hallway. āHas anyone seen (Y/N)?ā Wanda asked. āShe isnāt in her room.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āShe left the party early last night, havenāt seen her since,ā Peter replied, and I cursed under my breath. As I went to sit up, Buckyās door swung open and Steveās large form filled the door frame. His eyes widened as he took in Bucky and I together in bed, me holding the blankets up to hide my nakedness, and then our underwear discarded on the floor. Shock quickly dissipated into a mischievous smirk, but he at least had the decency to blush. Before anyone could say anything, Samās voice was yelling up the stairs.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āYo, I think I know where (Y/N) is!ā he said, glee underlining his tone as he jogged up the stairs. When he caught Steve standing in the doorway and Bucky and I in the bed with flushed cheeks, a shit-eating grin spread across his face.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā He tossed something onto the bed, and I realized it was the clothes weād left by the pool the night before. āI figured youād need those before you snuck back to your own room,ā he said to me with a wink, and then he turned to Steve. āCāmon, Cap, letās leave these two to get dressed.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Both of them fixing us with one more smirk, they shut the door and we were alone again. I buried my face in my hands with a groan, but all of a sudden I was on my back and Bucky was on top of me.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āWell,ā he murmured, āsince everyone knows we might as well make a good impression.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I grinned up at him. āYouāve got fifteen minutes before Tony storms in here and drags us onto that quinjet by our ears,ā I teased. āThink you can manage that?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āOh, doll, fifteen minutes is plenty of time to let everyone know you belong to me.ā
#bucky barnes smut#bucky x reader smut#bucky x reader#bucky barnes reader#bucky barnes#bucky reader smut#smut#avengers#mcu#beach house
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(Fic) One thing we can agree on
Title: One thing we can agree on (Wattpad)
Setting: The vampire nonsense / Vegas Masquerade
Warnings: Gore.Ā I am having fun with my crayons.
Words: 1401
Summary: Flashback into the 'Moonlight Flush' part of the timeline. Which is the framing of the events of ~twenty years ago in the Vegas Masq. setting (which set up the current ārulesā) as an urban fantasy police procedural; where Joplin would have been the secondary main / intro to the supernatural world and Belton the Season One antagonist who ended up Sort Of Befriended(ish).
This would have been in approx. Season Three, when bits from Joplin's past come back to bite him (er, again, I guess), and involves the first time he'd actually had to team up with Belton against a larger problem.
The larger problem being: more werebears, but asshole ones.
Indulgent, but I enjoy Belton being a dramatic irritation, and ~27yr old Joplin's permanent state of exasperation. And I wanted to explore an important (?) difference in the way the vampires and were(s) of this setting work.
(Also neither tumblr nor Wattpad has any sensible way to use footnotes, so there's one just... there, in the middle. Like this is FFN cira 2003 or something.)
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The real difference between vampires and werewolves is how they bleed.
Clearly it isn't the only difference. Ā There are the big, obvious - hairy - ones; and you could spend lifetimes comparing technicalities of characteristic amongst the supernatural set, searching for links or diversions or even a root cause. How magic plays in. Ā How inheritances work, or the fundamental incompatibility of cross-siring. Ā How sunlight, direct or orbitally reflected, could possibly trigger the different effects that it does.
But for Denis Joplin, as he'd scrambled to make sense of the extraordinary left turn his last decade had careened into, somehow the thing that really seemed to underline it all was the way they bled. Ā Maybe because he'd always had such a damn knack for getting into situations that showcased it.
That last round of gunfire had really screwed up his right arm. Ā He'd wedged himself in place against the thick struts of a heavy-duty shipping container - splattered almost as much now with crimson as it was with spraypainted Cyrillic ā and tried to breathe quietly. Ā The enormous bastard wielding a goddamn helicopter canon had fucked off to yell 'roided nonsense into a different part of the warehouse, so they probably had a few minutes pause before he realised his targets had dodged.
Not dodged as well as Joplin'd have liked, but there y'go. Ā You worked with what you got.
Most of the bullets had gone straight through ā since he wasn't an armour-plated van ā but he could feel a few wedged points of pain even within the jellied miasma of broken flesh that hung unpleasantly from his torn shirt.
"JesustapdancingĀ-" he bit down on the mismatched curse as he grabbed his messed-up limb with his other hand and twisted, pushing it up against himself and the steel wall behind, and tried not to go blind.
It squelched.
"Don't like that," he muttered, then glanced up at the wet snort of amusement from just down the container row. "Hey, he nailed you to the fuckin' wall about as well as I've seen; don't get lippy."
Not that his extremely temporary partner was in much shape to be more actively sarcastic. Ā The brunt of the recent salvo had hit taken Belton pointy-ear to hip, ripping the big grey fuck open like a side character in chainsaw splatter, which ā somehow ā made the look of dazed amusement on the bits of his face that weren't hanging off even more aggravating than usual. Ā He shifted position, bringing his torn-up arms out in front of him as if holding something narrow and invisible in both hands, and ā
Joplin blinked.
Pull... yourself...
"Oh fuck off," he growled ā and it was a growl, a sound that started deeper than his chest actually went and brought the pull along with it; a bestial reverb that went beneath his bones. Ā Joplin gritted his teeth ā which felt about ready to start moving in his jaw as it was, aching with something beyond nerves ā and had another unpleasant feel around where his elbow used to be. Ā It helped if everything was in the right place. Ā Last thing he needed right now was having to rebreak a limb because he'd managed to shift over all wonky.
That'd have to do. Ā Very pointedly not making eye contact with Belton as he did so, Joplin Changed.
There have been a lot of renditions of a lycanthropic* transformations over the years, and there have even been some that have come close to the actual reality of seeing it happen. The exact visuals tend to vary person to person, but however it looks, the world bends ā just a little, at the seams ā as something that was only ever the thickness of breath away steps forward. Ā Joplin always thought it felt like stretching should do ā an all-over, unfurling release of physicality, like every fibre of you stopped hunching its shoulders all at once.
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* There's an argument that 'ursanthropic' might be a more technically correct term when the reader is considering Denis Joplin himself ā or even the bellowing figure currently firing 30mm rounds into what will turn out to be a container of tinned garlic pallets ā but the linguistic side of paraphylogeny isn't a popular field. Ā 'Actually, it's wereBEAR' is only a helpful correction under certain circumstances, and this isn't one of them.**
** Yet. ________________________________________________________________
The arm took a bit more effort. Ā A transformation that added several feet in height, width, and summed-up hair length didn't exactly have a problem fixing a half-mulched limb, but there was clearly an additional process going on. Ā He wondered how people had explained what it looked like before timelapse film had been developed.
It... healed. Ā Torn vessels sealed over; bone shards scraped and swelled together within muscles that bulged crimson-purple as they knitted close. Ā Tissue bloomed, bruise-blossom hues racing through tattered skin and dragging raw pallor behind them; black-bloody tears welled up pink and grey and pink again, threaded with ribbons of tendon herded into place by a lightning flash of sudden scars, gone as fast as they appeared. Ā Then the fur broke surface like desert flowering, and a heartbeat later there was nothing to show for the damage that a slight extra paleness in the iron-grey pelt, as Joplin flexed his bulked-out fingers carefully.
Belton clapped. Ā Just once, with a softness that hands tipped with inch-long claws shouldn't be able to achieve, and it was the most sarcastic fucking sound Joplin had ever heard. Ā He bared his considerable teeth in a silent snarl and waved his own padded hands towards the old bat.
Hurry. Ā Up.
Belton's black eyes crinkled at the edges, and then he pulled himself back together.
The real difference between vampires and werewolves is how they bleed.
Belton's blood was dark, with a strangeness to its consistency that would have baffled splatter analysts on a fundamental level, but it also didn't tend to stay where it landed. Ā None of him did. Ā Metal gleamed naked against the pitted concrete as pools of inky crimson pulled away from the bullets that had torn them loose, flowing back along their own path like a retreating tide - rivulets of reversing gore that snaked and whipped back up their origin form, trailing back into ruptures that folded seamlessly shut around them. Ā Belton stood up, even as his chest cavity was still closing, and gently pushed his hanging jaw back into place, smoothed like fresh clay.
Vampires don't heal ā you see ā so much as 'rewind'.
He held Joplin's gaze, half a heartbeat longer than he needed to, and grinned.
There was a spotless bullet held between his rows of teeth.
"Oh, fuck off," Joplin repeated ā before he was drowned out by a guttural roaring, and the sound of a minigun barrel being smashed through something unfortune enough to be inside its turning circle.
"Little pigs, little pigs! Ā I hear you!"
Both men visibly winced.
"See, someone with that little self-awareness just shouldn't be this much of a problem," Belton muttered, flicking the bullet aside like a cigarette butt. "It's genuinely a bit embarrassing."
"Yeah, well," Joplin whispered back, as he scanned the roof, taking in the environment with an eye to traversal options he hadn't had five minutes ago. "I won't tell if you don't."
Another roar burst the air, and Belton started edging down the row again, clearly doing his own version of the calculations.
"Pity he doesn't take after your side of the family, really."
"This isn't a family situation," Joplin snapped back, readying himself to move when the oncoming footsteps got a bit closer. Ā If he could get around, then maybe he could deke out the...
He glanced back, about to signal a go, and realised the old vampire was still looking at him, one of those impossible-to-read expressions on his weird bat face for a second, before he spoke softly.
"See, that's the thing with monsters. Ā It's always going to come back to blood, one way or another."
A shiver danced down Joplin's extended spine, strong enough to stir the fur. Ā That was a bit close for comfort ā and from sodding Belton? Ā He shrugged dismissively, only partly to himself.
"Yeah, well, this ain't gonna be the worst it gets. Ā Try not t'get cut in half again."
Then the shipping container exploded in a nightmare of burning metal. Ā Belton went right; Joplin went up; and everything else went on from there.
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#Entofic#urban fantasy#The Vegas Masquerade#Knockoff Manbat lookin' bastard#first team up is a bitch#Denis Joplin
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The Third Path
Some new ghost hunters have come to town, but are they really ghost hunters, or something else?
When a human dies, there are three paths the freed soul can take. Most are sent straight to the After. However, some stay behind.
āExcuse me, dear girl, but may I have a moment of your time!ā
Valerie frowned at the shout and turned her board around to see a Latina woman staring at her with a curious smile. She had knee-length black hair that, alongside her long white dress, swirled around her from her spot on the edge of a skyscraperās roof.
The ghost hunter immediately dove down towards the woman, holding up her hands. āWoah, hey now. Thereās no need for that. Come down from there and we can talk about this.ā
The woman frowned, then smiled again as she climbed down and stepped back until there were a good five feet between her and the edge. āApologies, I did not mean to frighten you. I simply wished to gain your attention. I did not anticipate you taking my position in such a way.ā
āRight,ā Valerie said slowly dropping down to the roof and banishing her board. āHow can I help you?ā
The woman hummed, staring at where her board had been before looking up at her.
A shiver went up Valerieās spine at the neon blue color of the womanās eyes, but it was washed away a second later by a wave of contentment that filled her.
āMy name is Adelaida. I and my people have come to this town to assist with the demonic presence that plagues you.ā
Valerieās eyes widened. āDemonic? You mean the ghosts?ā
āYes, that is the term you use for them, isnāt it?ā
āYouāre ghost hunters?ā she asked cautiously. More ghost hunters wasnāt exactly a bad thing, but only if they were actually helpful. Most of the ghost hunters Valerie has met were absolutely useless while the G.I.W. did more damage than the ghosts. The Fentonās at least knew what they were doing, even if they tended to be a little trigger happy and often late to the party.
āIn a sense. We hoped to gain information on the demons -- or ghosts -- that most commonly plague you. We have already sought out the matriarch and patriarch of the Fenton family as our research painted them as your townās best hunters and they spoke well of you. As such, we wished to see if you would have any information that might assist us.ā
Valerie straightened up with Pride. It was nice that some people appreciated her efforts. Sheād never really spoken to the Fentons in her hunting persona -- too worried theyād recognize her -- and everyone else either opposed her because of her fights with Phantom or was Masters, and Masters was one wrong move away from a face full of ecto-ray.
āThey did not inform us that you use demonic relics to fight with, however.ā
She flinched. She wasnāt exactly happy to be using ghost-made weapons, but she wasnāt going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Her suit was far and away the best of the best and let her keep up with ghosts in ways no other human could. āWell, fight fire with fire and all that.ā
āI suppose.ā
She frowned at the disgust in Adelaidaās voice. āItās not that different from the ecto-weapons the Fentons have created.ā
āNo, but those are distasteful as well.ā
āWell, what do you use?ā If Adelaida was another one of those people who thought you could fight ghosts with sage and horseshoes, Valerie was taking off without another word. Where did people even get ideas like that?
āMy people have access to an energy that is the polar opposite of the energy used by demons, the matter to their antimatter so to speak. It can be quite painful to ghosts and does not burden us with using such horrific devices.ā
Valerie felt her annoyance with the womanās haughtiness growing, but shoved it down in curiosity at the idea of some sort of anti-ectoplasm. āReally? How did you get your hands on something like that? Did your people develop it?ā
āIn a way. But that is not why Iām here. Tell me, what do you know of the demons that plague this town?ā
She shrugged. āToo much to tell. Thereās a ghost for every day of the year and they all show up at random. The short of it though is one ghost. Well, two, but Box Ghost is more a nuisance than a threat.ā
Adelaida nodded. āThe Fentonās mentioned the box obsessed demon. I suppose the other you referenced is the one who refers to itself as Danny Phantom.ā
āYeah, him.ā Valerie scowled. She still wasnāt sure how to feel about the ghost-boy. Every time she considered going back to hunting him, all she could think about was him pleading for her to let him save Dani and him holding out his hands after so she could capture him once more. She thought about the times theyād worked together and how heād only ever betrayed her by telling her father her secret to keep her from what she knew was a suicide mission.
The woman must have misread her scowl as she said, āYes, I understand your frustration. The Fentonās told us much about the hero act the demon uses to gain favor in the town and we agree that its tie to this plane is likely its need for attention. Given its age, it was likely either an unwanted or neglected child or one who hoarded such attention in life, such as a prince or celebrity. It has clearly come to find that displays of kindness are its best bet to gain this attention and should the attention ever wane, it will undoubtedly return to its early acts of vandalism and violence to satisfy its obsession once more.ā
Even though she nodded along, Valerie couldnāt help but disagree as sheād done before when sheād heard such things from the Fentonās. Phantom didnāt like attention, he had run away from his phans and hidden from news copters enough for that to be obvious. Sure, he was a showboat, but he never stuck around after a fight. If Phantom had an obsession -- which Valerie didnāt buy -- it was probably fighting. Or maybe just Amity Park in general. Heād certainly claimed it as his territory, judging by the fact that a few of the ghosts that could be found skulking about often complained about how āPhantom said we could stay!ā and would go cry to him if she tried to capture them.
āIs there anything else you could tell us?ā
Valerie considered saying something about Masters, but she was hesitant to reveal the human-ghost hybrid. If someone discovered him, how long until they discovered Dani? She wouldnāt be the reason the girl was in danger again. āCareful with Phantom. Heās a lot more powerful than most of the ghosts we see around here and heās got allies.ā
āAllies?ā
āMost donāt know it, but Phantom lets some ghosts stick around. Heāll protect them if we come after them, so I wouldnāt put it past them to return the favor if he needed it.ā
āVassals then,ā Adelaida hummed. āThat could be promising. The Fentonās did not mention that. Thank you for your assistance. I will inform my people.ā She gave a curtsey and turned to leave.
āWould you like some help?ā
The woman looked back at her with a smile as she opened to the door to the rooftop entrance. āWe have this under control, young one.ā
With that, she was gone.
Valerie frowned as she took back to the air. She briefly wondered if she should reach out to Phantom about this before shoving the thought aside. Even if she wasnāt sure about hunting the ghost-boy, she wasnāt going to help him either. And the woman didnāt give her the same creeps as the G.I.W., so it was probably fine. In fact, the woman had felt warm and comforting.
Although it was admittedly kind of weird that sheād called Valerie young when Adelaida looked like she was maybe in her early twenties at best and the suit made people think Valerie was older than her actual sixteen years. Also, thereād been something off with her eyes. Valerie couldnāt place it, but theyād just feltā¦ uncanny.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
āItās not funny,ā Danny muttered, rubbing at his back and scowling at his laughing friend.
āHow long until the paint wears off?ā Sam chuckled.
āI donāt even know! Young-butt wouldnāt say.ā
āWhatās going on?ā Tucker said, glancing between them as he joined them for their walk home.
āApparently, Danny forgot to mention that he got ambushed on his way home from his weekend in Olympus,ā Sam said, laughter still tinting her voice.
At Tuckerās worried look, Danny elaborated. āYoungblood decided we were going to have a water balloon fight.ā
āBut instead of water, he filled them with ectoplasmic paint. And now his ghost half is covered in the stuff, even if he transforms.ā
āOnly my face and hair. Thankfully I was wearing that ceremonial outfit Pandora gave me. I hope she doesnāt want it back before I can figure out how to get the stains out.ā
āGhost OxiClean,ā Sam suggested over Tuckerās laughter.
āWhat colorā¦ areā¦ you now?ā Tucker asked between chortles.
āA dark purple,ā Danny sighed.
Sam pat his head. āCould be worse. You could be red. Weād be forced to make Christmas jokes and then weād be back to square one with you, Mr. Grinch.ā
Danny rolled his eyes and knocked their shoulder together, only to hiss at the pain that shot up his back.
āYou okay, dude?ā Tucker asked, wiping away tears.
āYeah, my back just started hurting last night. I thought Iād just pulled something in the fight, but it was even worse this morning. I took some of the pain meds Frostbite gave me, but they wore off.ā
āDoes your ghost form even have muscles to pull?ā Tucker wondered.
āWe can head to your house first so we can pick up your pills,ā Sam suggested. āIt really must be hurting if you actually took them instead of deciding to wait it out.ā
It was. It felt like growing pains crossed with the ghost gauntlets, but worse. A throbbing ache that took his breath away with random spikes.
āThanks.ā
They were halfway to his house when Dannyās ghost sense went off and a grey-green arm shot out of an alleyway to drag him in. He braced for a fight, but relaxed slightly when he saw it was Kitty.
She looked rumpled, her hair messed up and her jacket singed with burns littering her skin.
āWhatās wrong? Valerie again?ā
She shook her head. āI donāt know who attacked us. I couldnāt see them, but I think they were after you. When they captured Johnny and Shadow in a net, I heard one of them say theyād gotten one of Phantomās vassals, whatever that means.ā
āA vassal is someone who is granted land by nobility in return for loyalty, respect, and wartime support,ā Sam explained. āIt kind of describes the deal you and the others have with Danny, in an archaic way.ā
āIf you ignore the fact Dannyās not nobility and substitute the loyalty stuff for you guys just not attacking people,ā Tucker added.
Kittyās nose scrunched up at the information, but otherwise ignored it. āPlease, you have to help them! We werenāt even doing anything this time!ā
Danny gave her an unimpressed look.
āOkay, maybe Johnny destroyed some guyās car because he was checking me out, but can you blame him.ā
āYes,ā Danny said, then sighed. āFine, but you need to head back to the Ghost Zone as soon as I get your boyfriend out. Try to warn anyone you can on your way. Might be best for everyone to get clear until I figure out what these guys want.ā
She agreed immediately and he turned to his friends.
āWeāll be right behind you,ā Sam said and Tucker nodded.
āAlright, Iām going ghost!ā
Kitty and Danny shot into the air, Danny holding onto Kitty since he was faster while she led him to where sheād last seen Johnny.
They found him on a side street, pinned beneath a net that glowed silver. It certainly didnāt look like anything he was used to. His parentsā tech was all green since it used pure ectoplasm straight from the ghost zone. Valerieās was a reddish-pink thanks to Technus keeping her aesthetic the same as Vladās tech, which was powered by his own energy. The G.I.W.ās was blue due to the purification they did on all the ectoplasm they got their hands on.
Danny looked around as they got closer to the street, but didnāt see anyone. Knowing it was a trap, but with no other choice, they turned invisible and dropped down next to the net.
āJohnny,ā Kitty whispered, kneeling next to him.
āHey Kitten,ā he groaned. He looked up at Danny and smirked. āWhat happened to your face?ā
āShut up.ā Seeing the way the net was hurting Johnny, Danny reached out with his energy to pull it off him that way.
The net went flying. Thank you, Pandora! Telekinesis was the best!
āThanks, kid,ā Johnny huffed.
āYou know, Iām the same age as you guys now,ā Danny said as Kitty helped him stand and Shadow peeled off the ground, looking worse for wear.
āSure, give or take a few decades,ā Johnny snorted.
āJust get out of here befo-ā Danny was cut off by a blast to the side that sent him flying. He shrieked as his back hit the asphalt.
āKid!ā
āGo!ā he ordered, fighting through the pain to sit up.
Johnny looked conflicted for a moment, then summoned his bike.
As the two rode off, Danny turned to face the direction the blast had come from.
āSo you are the one called Danny Phantom?ā a man said as he walked out of the shadows.
Dannyās first impression was that the man didnāt look like a hunter. He was taller and thinner than Danny and probably in his late twenties. He wore a tank top and athletic shorts, but no shoes. His dark brown skin was offset by pale gold hair and silver eyes.
Glowing silver eyes.
āYouāre a ghost,ā Danny groaned. Great, just what he needed: Infighting.
The ghost laughed. āYou date yourself, demon. If you canāt recognize me, you must be less than two hundred years.ā
āPretty sure the suit says the same thing, but go off I guess,ā Danny snorted as he stood. āWait, did you just call me a demon?ā
The man raised his hand and Danny took to the air to dodge a blast of silver energy.
āWhat? Not even going to start in on your evil plan. What kind of villain doesnāt monologue?ā
āThe only evil villain here is you,ā the ghost hissed as he shot blast after blast at the flying halfa. āWe are here to cleanse this town of you and your demonic vassals.ā
āFirst of all, they're not my vassals, I just donāt bother kicking them back to the Ghost Zone as long as they donāt cause trouble,ā Danny said, creating a shield to absorb the blasts. āAnd second, whatās with all the dem-Wait, we?ā
A blast hit him in the back and ANCIENTS! OW! THAT HURT! THAT VERY MUCH HURT!
He barely caught himself before he hit the ground and quickly summoned another shield, this time creating a sphere to wrap around him. He glanced back to take in his new opponent.
For half a second, he thought it was Dani. Then he realized the short, white-haired woman actually looked like she was in her mid-forties, had vivid yellow eyes, and was Asian.
He blamed the pain. The excruciating pain.
āOh goody, two for one special, must be my lu-ā
Something slammed into his shield from above just as the twoās blasts hit it and it shattered.
His back hit the pavement and he must have blacked out because the next thing he knows heās being held aloft by an angel.
āMaybe next time you fall from heaven, get better aim,ā he whimpered.
The black-haired, blue-eyed, winged ghost gave him an unimpressed look and opened her mouth, but was cut off by Goldilocks.
āAdelaida, humans.ā
His captor glanced to the side and her raven-like wings turned invisible.
Danny turned to look as well and saw Sam and Tucker running up, looking nervous.
āDivya, take care of them.ā
Oh hell no!
āPhantom!ā Valerie snarled, flying in to hover over his friends.
Good, sheād protect them.
āHave you really moved on to attacking unarmed civilians?ā
Or not.
āUnar-Theyāre ghosts!ā
Valerie looked at her wrist. āMy tracker says otherwise.ā
āYour tracker doesnāt pick me up half the time!ā
āYou think theyāre overshadowed?ā Sam asked.
āTheyāre glowing!ā Danny huffed, gesturing towards Adelaida.
āI donāt see it,ā Tucker said.
āItās alright,ā the Asian woman ā Divya supposedly ā said, walking towards his friends.
To his surprise, all three humans started to relax.
āNo.ā The halfa scowled. āNo. No, we are not having another mayor incident.ā He raised his hand and fired.
Adelaida shrieked as he hit her wing and they flickered into visibility.
He kicked her away then fired at Goldilocks and Divya, revealing their pale gold and white wings respectively. āSee, ghosts! Now get those two out of here.ā
Valerie hesitated, then swooped down to grab Sam and Tucker.
āWhat? Hey!ā
āPut me down!ā
Danny turned to the ghosts to see them regrouping.
Adelaida looked furious as she stepped forward. āI am ending this.ā
āAdelaida,ā Goldilocks warned.
āThe humans already know of us, Buhle. It is time to put the demon down.ā
He nodded and stepped behind her, Divya following his lead.
Adelaida braced herself with her wings and feet and took a deep breath.
Danny only just had enough time to realize what was about to happen and throw up a shield before her ghostly wail hit. Hers looked much like his own, though neon blue instead of his own toxic green. It also didnāt seem as powerful as his considering he was still standing, even if cracks were quickly forming on his shield. He wasnāt sure if it was a power thing or just that she was holding back.
He hoped it was a power thing as he braced his feet. He let the shield fall just as his own wail rang out.
Green sonic waves clashed with blue, pressing back and forth against each other with the green slowly gaining ground. Then the blue faltered, a bit of shock lacing her voice, and the green waves steamrolled through.
Adelaida, Buhle, and Divya went flying and Danny cut off the wail. He fell to his hands and knees, using every bit of his willpower to hold onto his ghost form.
āPhantom!ā Sam shouted.
āWell, thatās one way to remove ghost paint,ā Tucker chuckled nervously.
Danny gave a panting laugh, spotting his once more white hair falling into his face.
He tried to look up at the ghosts, but he was exhausted and his back was hurting more than ever before as the adrenalin ran out. He was a sitting duck, just barely holding onto his ghost form.
Wonderful.
He felt something come near and Sam shouted, āGet away from him!ā
A hand settled gently on his back andā¦ Oh. Oh! Oh, that felt good. He looked up and was surprised to see Divya standing over him, her eyes glowing the same color as his own.
āSo young,ā she cooed.
āImpossible!ā Adelaida gasped.
Danny turned to see Buhle supporting her, both staring at him with shock.
āNone have been born in three hundred years,ā the silver-eyed ghost said. āHe does not even have his wings.ā
āTheyāre growing in now,ā Divya replied. āThat is probably our fault. We invaded his territory.ā
āHe can not be,ā Adelaida said, shaking her head. āHe works with demons, allows them to harm humans.ā
āI donāt let anyone hurt anyone,ā Danny huffed. āThe others are only allowed to stay if they behave themselves.ā
āDemons are selfish creatures. They can not be trusted,ā Divya said softly.
āSays you,ā Danny huffed. āJohnny and Kitty are fine as long as theyāre not fighting since only the tourists are stupid enough to flirt with one of them by this point. Ember likes playing open mic night, Youngblood just wants a playmate, the Casper High shades just like to get egg creams at the old-school diner, and Boxy is harmless usually. Seriously, you guys are ghosts, whatās with the delusional ghost hunter rhetoric?ā
āExcuse me,ā Valerie growled.
āItās okay, I know youāve got your reasons. I still love you,ā he said cheekily, winking at her.
She and Sam pretended to gag.
āWe are not demons.ā
Danny turned to Buhle with a snort. āYou glow and have wings.ā
āPrecisely,ā he huffed, stretching out his wings.
āHumans donāt have wings.ā
āWe are not humans, but we are not demons.ā
Divya rubbed the hand on his back up and down. āWe are like you, hun.ā
āIām a ghost.ā Half-ghost, but details.
Unlessā¦
She shook her head. āPoor thing, so lost and confused.ā
āOkay, time to go back to the fighting,ā he groaned, but didnāt try to get up. Whatever she was doing to his back was worth the baby talk.
āWe are not demons, ā Adelaida spat. āWe are angels.ā
Danny stared at her blankly. āAnd Iām an atheist.ā
āWe are the souls of those who have passed who remain tied to this world by selfless reasons,ā Buhle said in a calm voice. āWe are the equal and opposites of those who reside in the darker realm, who linger due to selfish desires. We work to protect life from such creatures and bring joy to the humans of this plane.ā
āSoā¦ a good ghost.ā
āThere is no such thing as a good demon!ā Adelaida snapped. āAre you always this frustrating?ā
āYeah.ā
āAbsolutely.ā
āConstantly.ā
āItās a gift.ā
She turned to Buhle. āHe can not possibly be an angel.ā
āI told you, Iām an atheist. Pretty sure Tu-my friend told me thatās a big no-no in heaven. Speaking ofā¦ā Danny turned to Sam. āS-Goth human, arenāt real angels supposed to be eldritch abominations? Six wings and seven heads or something? Constantly on fire? I swear someone once told me that.ā
āThat-thatās not entirely accurate,ā Sam chuckled as Tucker laughed. āBut youāve got the right idea. Theyāre actually pretty terrifying. Thatās why people tend to freak out when they see them in the stories. Itās awesome.ā
āCool.ā He turned back to the two angel ghosts to see Adelaida pinching the bridge of her nose and Buhle looking very done. āSo whereās the rest of your wings and heads.ā
Divya laughed and patted his head. āYou young ones are always so entertaining.ā
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This is based on an old story of mine. And by old, I mean really old. I don't think I was even on this site when I wrote it since I canāt find it on my blog. I started getting into some new Danny Phantom stuff and felt compelled to write something along the same lines. This is just a one-shot so I doubt I'll write more for this, but I've got a bunch of ideas for this world so I needed to get some of it out.
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some rambling about legacies, and opening up, and All Might has two sons more at 11
can I offer you an essay about All Might and his children in these trying times.
so back before he got swept up in the great tides of character development, Bakugou used to think that in order for him to succeed at becoming the best hero, it meant that Deku could not succeed. he thought it was a zero sum game; he could only be strong if Deku stayed weak. if Deku grew strong, then that would mean he was the weak one. there wasnāt room for the two of them to reach the top together. it could only be one or the other.
this is of course patently false, and weāve since seen it disproven beyond a shadow of a doubt, and Katsuki has learned that itās okay for them to work together. not just okay, but correct; the only way, the best way. it doesnāt make him weak; working with Deku improves them both and helps them both to succeed.
so given that, I think it stands to reason that if this holds true for success and power levels, it should also hold true for their character development, and their personal relationships -- such as their relationship with All Might.
Ā Ā oddly enough, this is something thatās come under a fair amount of criticism. and interestingly, these criticisms have come from two very different perspectives. All Might spent too much time with Deku and focused too much on him and ignored Katsuki in his favoritism, which did a great deal of harm to Katsukiās mental health. or the reverse: All Mightās bond with Deku is special and important, and thereās a closeness there that should never have been encroached on by Bakugou, and him sitting in on all of the OFA Club meetings now is unfair to Deku and takes away the one special thing that he had, and for once Kacchan should not make it about him and should butt out.
there isnāt room for both. or so both of these standpoints would seem to imply. All Might cannot be a close mentor to both Katsuki and Izuku; if he gets closer to one, it must necessarily be at the expense of the other.
pardon my very blunt take, but... bullshit.
letās start by talking about something which I donāt often see discussed: All Mightās similarities to Bakugou. yes, Bakugou. not Izuku, the little green Might Jr., but Bakugou Katsuki, whose hostile and volcanic personality would at first glance seem to clash with All Mightās in almost every way possible. All Might is kind and altruistic and empathetic and burdened with a soul-deep need to help and protect others. All Might was born quirkless. All Might is the mirror image of Deku. All Might chose Deku as his successor specifically because he sees himself in Deku. all of this is absolutely true.
but All Might also keeps to himself. All Might goes to great lengths to avoid being seen as weak. All Might doesnāt let people close to him. All Might rarely works as part of a team. All Might is a natural talent. All Might smiles when heās up against a wall. All Might is synonymous with determination. and All Might takes responsibility far beyond what he should, and burdens himself and blames himself when things go wrong, even when the outcome is out of his control. and at those times, All Might blames himself for not being stronger.
do you see?? All Might is like Deku, yes, but not only Deku. the truth is that All Might and Katsuki are alike as well. not only are they alike, theyāre far too alike, in ways that All Might probably wishes they were not. where Deku is a mirror of All Mightās goodness and selflessness and optimism, Katsuki is a mirror of All Mightās strength and resolve and determination. but he is also a mirror of what is possibly All Mightās greatest weakness: his isolation.
this, perhaps, is a natural consequence that comes from having the sort of physical talent that both he and Katsuki possess. All Might grew up quirkless just as Deku did, yes, but once he received One for All from Nana in his teens, he took to it just as instinctively and intuitively as Katsuki has taken to his quirk. there was none of the steep learning curve that Deku experienced; OFA came to All Might easily, and he was by all accounts a force of nature during his school years.
the downside of this, however, is that when everything comes easily to you, you start to feel like everything always should. that because you are capable, you need to be capable. you start to build up expectations of yourself that donāt take into account the simple truth that no matter how gifted you are, everybody fails at some point or another. and because you are strong, because you never fail, you never learn how to let yourself rely on other people. you never learn how to ask for help.
and needless to say, this is a terrible, even fatal weakness to have. and what makes it all the more destructive is that this particular weakness is self-perpetuating and feeds into itself. you donāt know how to admit when you need help, and so you never get the help you need. itās a brutal fucking cycle, and so itās no wonder that All Might spent years and years and years trying to do everything all alone.
and he lost Nana. his mentor, the woman who was like a mother to him. and that only made matters worse. he lost the person who believed in him and encouraged him, and who understood the burden he was carrying better than anyone else, because she herself had struggled with that same burden. and so the one person he might have been able to reach out to, he ended up losing in the most devastating way possible. and so not only was he heartbroken and traumatized and likely blaming himself, but it also left him more alone than ever before, with the pain of that loss basically ensuring he wouldnāt ever open himself up and let anyone else in again.
and itās easy to look at the impact of All Mightās downfall at Kamino, and the many shortcomings and vulnerabilities it exposed, and wonder what the hell he was thinking, and to blame him for not recognizing the fragility of the society he helped to build, and for the arrogance of thinking that a lone pillar could support an entire country all on its own and not inevitably come crumbling down. and yes; for all of his goodness and optimism, the notion that All Might had of a lone Symbol of Peace was deeply flawed.
but we learn from our failures. and after decades of struggling to support the world all on his own, All Might finally did fail. and after years of stubbornly trying to fight on anyway in spite of his injuries, he was finally forced to accept that his time was coming to an end, and that he needed to pass on his legacy. and in many ways, his mentoring of Izuku has been as much of a learning process for him as it has been for his protege.Ā
because for all of the similarities I discussed earlier, there are also ways in which Deku is not like him at all. Deku is used to failure. Deku is not afraid to ask for help. and Deku does naturally what All Might has always struggled to do: he reaches out.
and who does he reach out to? first and foremost, to another boy with whom, as I mentioned, All Might shares all too many similarities.
another boy whoās isolated. another boy who doesnāt know how to ask for help, who is afraid to fail.
All Might understands Katsuki remarkably well right from the start. of course he does; how could he not? and because he is all too aware of the effect that kind of stubborn self-reliance has on a person, he is hesitant at first to reach out to Katsuki in the same way that he does to Izuku. not because of a lack of care or concern, but because he knows -- all too well -- that Katsuki will not accept it. and so instead he takes a different approach with him, trying to guide him while still respecting his pride and stubbornness.
so this is kind of the status quo for them for a while. but now hereās where things finally get interesting. because as All Mightās powers continue to wane, and heās forced to come to terms with his own weaknesses and to rely more and more on others, he finally begins to see where it was that he went wrong. and as he grows to care more about Izuku, he realizes that he doesnāt want him to have to suffer in the same way that he did.
and during this same time, Katsuki is also starting to go through his own personal journey which includes so many of the same struggles that All Might came up against. everything that comes along with the mindset of thinking you only need to rely on yourself. so here, again, is someone who is so much like All Might was. who is putting the same kind of pressure on himself of thinking that itās not okay to fail. and who, eventually, also comes to experience the same pain of feeling responsible for the ālossā of someone he admired more than anyone.
and itās one thing for All Might not to acknowledge his own pain, but itās quite another to recognize that same pain in someone else. and I think that once he did, he came to the same realization he did with Izuku: that he doesnāt want Katsuki to suffer like he did. see, thatās the thing about being selfless. youāre numb to it while it only affects you. itās not until you see that same pain affecting someone else that you finally start to realize how fucked up it actually is.
Ā and so this, fittingly, is what prompts All Might to finally reach out to Katsuki. the realization that Katsuki has been struggling alone, the same as himself. and at the same time, the long-overdue and crucial recognition that the past doesnāt have to be repeated. that he can be there for him, even if heās still trying to figure out the best way how, and even if he still hasnāt come to terms with the near-identical burdens that he bears himself.
and so Katsuki has now officially gained one (1) Dadmight as well. and so here we have two boys, each a reflection of their beloved hero in their own way. two boys, and one legacy. a legacy which All Might carried proudly, but which nearly ended up destroying him in the end. two boys whose strengths and weaknesses seamlessly complement each otherās. two boys who already share a bond the likes of which All Might himself never had growing up.
the solution is obvious. but more than that, itās necessary. so that neither of these boys has to go through what he went through. so that neither of them will ever have to fight alone. so that if they fall -- when they fall -- the other one will be there to help them get back up.
Deku has the quirk, but One for All is more than just a quirk. pardon me for getting all sappy, but itās right there in the name -- One for All. itās more than a power; itās the legacy of working together to fight evil. a legacy of inspiring hope in others. and a legacy of never, ever giving up.
that legacy is both of theirs to share. that will is both of theirs to inherit. both Izuku and Katsuki are All Mightās successors. and he takes pride in them both.
and All Might doesnāt love Izuku any less because he is also a mentor to Katsuki. and All Might doesnāt care about Katsuki any less because he also has a close bond with Izuku. and All Might mentoring the one will always also be in the other oneās best interests. because the stronger they become, the stronger they can be for each other.
and theyāll need to be. because one thing All Might does understand all too well is that regardless of whether he lives or dies, he wonāt always be able to be there for them.
so do you see? the reason why itās so important for All Might to mentor them both. to mentor them together. because Katsuki can inspire and support Izuku in ways that All Might canāt. Izuku can reach Katsuki to an extent which All Might cannot. and All Might knows this, and has understood it almost from the start.
in conclusion, there really isnāt and never has been a war for All Mightās affections. Katsuki becoming a part of the squad isnāt forced; itās foreshadowed. it doesnāt take away from what All Might has with Deku; itās proof that All Might cares deeply about Deku and is taking steps to secure his future. and for All Might himself, it gives him a new purpose: to be there for these kids, to guide them and continue to support them.
and them coming together shows their growth. it shows how far theyāve come as characters. itās the culmination of something that has been in the works since the start. All Might has two sons, plain and simple, and debating which one is the favorite child is really missing the entire point. that this is the story of two boys, who grew up admiring the same person.
and the story of how the two of them take that legacy, and make it their own.
together.
anyway thatās my post! if anyone needs me Iāll be sitting here thinking about these boys and how much I love them and their dad, and pondering other comforting topics to write therapeutic essays about.
#bnha#all might#bakugou katsuki#midoriya izuku#bnha meta#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#makeste reads bnha#this post brought to you by residual feelings about heroes rising which I still have a whole month later#and by my conflicting need to take some time to recover from the current events of the manga but also still wanting to post about bnha#and by the letter k#bakugou meta
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Chapter Two: Wouldn't It Be Nice?
Rated: PG
~ Wouldn't it be nice if we were older? Then we wouldn't have to wait so long And wouldn't it be nice to live together In the kind of world where we belong? ~
It was 7:00 AM and the sun was up and out, and so too were the people. True to the fashion of only the grumpiest of bears, the bleary-eyed citizens of Copper Harbor were up and sleepwalking to work, falling asleep at red lights, and glaring into the black depths of their coffee as they tried to find a will to wake up or a reason to keep existing. Or both. Horns blared, children cried, people cursed, and that one guy slammed his head into a pole as he stared at a dude dressed as Batman who was directing traffic. (I don't think he had the authority to do that, but I wasn't going to challenge him.) All and all it was a fairly normal morning. At least in this town.
Like the entire population of Copper Harbor, a grand total of 100 or so permanent residents, I too hated mornings. But not for the same reason everyone else did. Sensory overload is my constant companion, but it's never worse than it is from 7:00 to 9:00 AM. Thatās another reason I was staying in Copper Harbor. You could probably fit the town's entire population in the auditorium of the local high school. But even here, I could hardly stand the headache the morning rush gave me. I don't think I could bear living in a big city.
Although this time, things weren't as bad as they normally were because this time, I had a distraction. Engrossed in my conversation with my new friend, I managed to block out some of the noise. I found it rather strange that someone would be willing to keep chatting for so long, it had been hours and hours. I kept waiting for Jack to tell me that he had to go or something, but he never did. When I asked about it, he just said he couldn't sleep. Eventually, I knew it was me who was going to have to end the conversation. I had things to do, and I knew that, but I didn't want to be the one to say goodbye.
"Are you gonna get moving, or are you gonna keep talking to your new boyfriend?" A voice asked from above me. I looked up.
Perched atop a large green dumpster to my left, sat a boy who looked around the age of 18. He had fair skin and auburn hair that was long enough to show off its gorgeous natural curls while not being long enough to be annoying. (I was absolutely jealous of his hair. The guy's locks were heavenly!) He wore a playful smirk on his face and his hazel eyes flashed as they crinkled up at the corners, alight with mischief. He held his face between his hands and tried to flutter his eyelashes in an attempt to mock me. "Do you wuv him, Marty? Do you wuv your wittole Jack? Tell me how much you wuv him!" He teased. I rolled my eyes. I knew this boy well. His name was Isaac, and he was a royal pain in my behind.
"Isaac?" I addressed him, sweetly. Swiveling my head to peer up at him, I smiled the fakest smile I could muster.
"Yes, Marty?" Isaac asked, matching my level of false sincerity.
"Do the world a favor, sweetie, and shut your mouth," I told him. Isaac just grinned at me.
"No!"
I rolled my eyes.
"If I could throw a rock at you right now, I would," I huffed.
"But, alas, you cannot!" Isaac smirked and slid off of the dumpster. He landed on his feet before coming to stand over me. I didn't look up at him.
"One of these days I'm gonna find a way," I muttered.
"You've been saying that for five years and yet you've never made good on that threat. Are you ever going to put your money where your mouth is?" He taunted. I stuck my tongue out at him and he laughed.
Using the wall behind me as support, I pulled myself onto shaking feet. Despite every part of my body screaming for me to stop, I stretched myself out. Now, I looked up at the boy in front of me.
Isaac was just a little under six feet tall and scrawny like a twig. His good looks would have had all the girls chasing him. Isaac looked like most other boys his age in terms of physique. That is, if you excluded the massive gaping wound, red and raw, that decorated most of the right side of his neck.
The wound remained there, frozen, as fresh as the day he received it. It remained as fresh as the day it killed him. His pale, ashen skin and the purple rings surrounding his young, hopeful eyes bore the tell-tale signs of death by blood loss.
Isaac was a ghost.
"Don't you have something,Ā anything, better to do?" I asked, glaring at him.
"Nope!" He replied, popping the 'P'. "But you do! So, tell your boyfriend bye-bye and get going!" I huffed at him but did as I was told.
Sent: 9:19 AM
Sorry, Jack but I have to go now. Thanks for talking to me!
Received: 9:20 AM
Okay, I guess I'll talk to you later.Ā Have a great day and stay safe!
I smiled at Jack's simple kindness and tucked my phone into my back pocket. When I looked up, Isaac was standing there and tapping his foot impatiently.
"Ya done, lovebird?" He sighed dramatically. I gave him a prim little nod.
"I am indeedā" I used my arm to motion to the mouth of the alleyway with a dramatic bowā "Shall we be off then, my liege?" Isaac grinned and rolled his eyes.
"Forsooth! Onward my fair servant!" He began marching dramatically to the mouth of the alley and continued out onto the sidewalk. I shook my head and followed after him, without the marching. I guess that was one of the advantages of being a ghost, if nobody could see you, you could do any of the weird crap you wanted to do, and nobody would ever stare.
When I caught up to my cadaverous companion, I pulled my phone from my pocket and pretended to be calling someone. That was the only way I could talk to Isaac in front of the public eye without seeming insane. I didn'tĀ thinkĀ I was insane. But if I was, would I really know it?
"Isaac, I swear if you call me 'servant' again, I will kill myself just so I can beat your sorry, spectral rear end into whatever is after the after-life. Savvy?" I threatened. Isaac turned and started walking backwards, passing through several people that I then very-quickly had to dodge. Isaac could be a bit of a butt that way.
"Yes, Sir! I mean, Ma'am!" He exclaimed, sending me a mocking salute. I just groaned.
"Where were you last night anyway?"
"Watching the Lord of the Rings marathon in the theater, Sir! I mean, Ma'am!"
"Remind me, why do I let you hang around again?" I muttered, quieter than before. "Excuse me." I had to shove my way past a rather beefy guy who was smoking and blocking the entrance to the town's minimart. Isaac just walked through him. He waited until I got inside to answer the question that I had intended to be rhetorical.
"Because I'm adorable, cheerful, and useful to your criminal lifestyle. So, what are we stealing today?" I grimaced at his comment.
"First of all, it's not criminal for me to survive. Second, is it really stealing if I have no way to get money? And third, I need a hairbrush, some hair ties and a jacket because this cardigan is definitely not enough," I said through clenched teeth as I smiled and nodded at the teenage girl behind the counter. She was tall, blond, and I would bet 10 bucks that her name was Tiffany. She nodded back and resumed whatever it was she was doing on her phone. Isaac however was not done talking to me and ticked his reactions to my comments off on his fingers.
"One, true. Two, yup. And three, cool, but that last one's gonna be hard."
"Well in that case, I guess you better do your job really well. See, ya on the other side, mate."
Isaac grinned lopsidedly at me and I pretended to hang up the phone.
I walked further into the store and pretended to look at the hair care section. I gave Isaac the signal, scratching the back of my head. Isaac swept his hand along the length of a shelf, knocking all the containers of peanut butter to the floor. The girl behind the counter whipped her head around to look at me with wide eyes. She looked from me to the peanut butter and back to me. Gaping at the good 15 feet of distance between me and the fallen peanut butter.
"What was that?" She asked, apprehensively. I gazed back at her with wide eyes of my own.
"I have no idea. They just fell off. All by themselves!" I lied. Isaac snickered. The cashier raked a hand through her hair and hopped over the counter to pick up the fallen peanut butter.
While she was paying attention that, I scooped up some hair ties and tucked them into the hidden pocket I had sewed into the inside of my cardigan. Snatching up a brush, I stuffed it into one of my too-big, black, knee-high boots I wear specifically for this purpose. Then, I moved to help the girl with the peanut butter situation. I ducked down and grasped one of the jars that had rolled underneath the shelving unit and handed it to her with a smile. She then put it back on the shelf.
"Thanks for your help, sweetie!" She said, talking down to me. I struggled to hold my smile. I didn't like being talked down to. I don't care what I look like. Even takingĀ that thingĀ into account, she wasn't that much older than me!
"It's no problem, miss!" I raised the pitch of my voice to sound more chipper and innocent, adding in the 'miss' part to feed into her clear superiority complex. I then moved over to the section that held a bunch of jackets and coats hanging from hooks attached to the walls. I waved Isaac over to me with a quick movement of my head that most others would mistake for me flipping my hair. Isaac meandered his way through a few shelving racks and over to me. I pulled out my phone and started typing, letting Isaac read over my shoulder.
Big distraction this time. Make it mean. She called me 'sweetie'.
Isaac nodded.
"Aye, aye! ... Sweetie."
I shot him a scowl and went back to perusing the jackets.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Isaac push against one of the free-standing shelving units. It teetered and groaned before toppling to the linoleum floor with an ear-splitting bang. The head if the cashier girl shot up and she gasped before letting out a rather un-lady like stream of cuss words. Sprinting over to the fallen shelf, she desperately tried to get it back upright.
I took my chance.
I seized a fluffy black coat from one of the racks and booked my butt out of the mini-mart. The girl looked up as I pushed my way out the door.
"Hey! Stop! THEF! THEF!" She shrieked. I grinned and dashed down the sidewalk. When I reached the end of the street, I looked back and saw that cashier chasing me. I decided to show off a little. Scampering down a back alley, I boosted onto a convenient dumpster and sprung upward. The distance from the top of the dumpster to the first wrung of the ladder that led to the rooftop, was an impossible height for any normal person to jump.
My hands latched onto the freezing second wrung.
The cashier stumbled into the alleyway, gasping when she saw me hanging from the ladder. Like I said, it should have been an impossible distance to jump. I smirked at her disbelief and giggled, flicking my wrist in a wave before clambering up the ladder and to the top of the roof.
Sprinting across the roof top, I skipped to the edge and bounded over. I closed my eyes and pushed off with all my might. The wind rushed through my hair and past my face and then...
My feet crunched onto the gravel as I landed on the next rooftop.
The rooftop that had previously been twenty feet away.
An impossible distance for any normal person. Key-word normal. But that was just it. I wasn't normal.
I heard someone cheer from across the street and I looked up. Dan the Dope Man, our little town's resident dealer, was shaking his fist, hooting and hollering. He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted to me.
"You go, Marty! Woo hoo!" He applauded me. I waved at him as I rushed to this roof's end. Reaching the edge, I did a parkour flip and touched down firmly on the next one.
The cashier girl was determined, I had to give her that. She chased me from the ground for about three more blocks before she collapsed, exhausted, onto a bench. I kept running along the rooftops, getting the occasional holler of encouragement from some enthused passerby. I leapt one last time onto the roof of Copper Harbor's town hall.
It was one of those really old town hall buildings. Like the ones in the movies. It was made of brick had a clock tower and everything. The whole old-timey shebang. Scaling onto the top of the clock tower, I grasped the spire and leaned outward over my little paradise town.
"GOOD MORNING COPPER HARBOR!" I shouted into the crisp morning breeze.
Even though it wasn't exactly pleasant, I let the few rays of sun light shine on my face as they peaked through the thick, gray winter sky. I could only take a few minutes of the direct sunshine, even as weak as it was, before I had to make my way back down the tower. I missed the days when I could lie in the sun for hours without feeling any sort of sting. Those days were now long past. When I got back to the flat part of the building's roof, Isaac was there, waiting on me.
"ThatĀ was corny as Hell. You don't live in a frickin' movie." He criticized, smirking at me. I shook my hair out and brushed it back, securing it with one of my freshly nicked hair ties.
"Yeah, I know!" I replied cheerfully, feeling in a much better mood than I had been in earlier that morning. I always felt better after a run.
"One of these days I should push you off that tower just to see your face," Isaac said. I smirked at him.
"Well, if I fall, I might crush this." Reaching into my cardigan's secret pocket I extracted a five-inch Darth Vader figurine. Isaac glared at me, shaking his finger.
"If you so much as scratch Lord Vader, I swear I'll strangle you." Isaac was very protective if that figurine. Probably because his soul was tied to it. Yes, that's right. Isaac's soul was tied to a Darth Vader action figure.
"5 years you've been saying that. Are you ever you gonna put your money where your mouth is?" I jeered, quoting him from earlier that morning. Isaac frowned.
"You're not funny you know," he said.
"What are you talking about? I'm hilarious!" I scoffed with a wave of my hand.
"Let's just go home. We'll do the other thing later," Isaac sighed. I grinned at him and ran to the edge of the roof, gesturing to the snow-covered hills leading away from the town.
"And our hero sauntered off into the snow beside her trusty, albeit annoying, cadaverous compatriot!"
"Shut up."
"No!"
So the two of us left the main town and trudged over hills blanketed with almost a foot of snow. Isaac of course had no problems with the snow, walking easily over it, he made no footprints. When we came to the forest on the edge of the town, I quickly spotted the treehouse nestled between three trees about 20 feet from the start of the woods. We were home.
The tree house was built about 18 feet or so from the ground and the ladder that had once led into it was now long gone. It still laid where it had the day weād found it, splintered and rotting under a foot of snow. Though we didn't know who had built it, Isaac and I both thanked them every day. Striding over to the thickest of the three trees the tree house was built into, I reached up and snagged the bundle of rope, thick and a little frayed we kept hidden inside a hallow knot in the wood. The other end of the rope was tied to a hook inside the tree house and I used it to climb my way inside.
I dragged the heavy wooden cover over the tree houses entrance hole then stood and surveyed my little home. It was fairly large, about 7 feet high, 20 feet long and 8 feet wide. There were blankets and pillows strewn about a mattress on the floor, a violin in the far-left corner, and a small table with a sketchbook and chess set sitting on it and two chairs set up to play. It wasn't much, but it was home now.
I walked to the shelf that lined the wall on my right and tugged this morning's spoils from their various places on my body, tossing them on the shelf. Carefully fingering Isaac's Darth Vader, I placed it gently next to my beautiful snow globe. A sudden feeling of longing washed over me, and I ached for the life I used to live. The life that I could never have back.
A silent tear slid down my cheek.
"It wasn't your fault, Marty," Isaac reminded me gently, appearing from thin air just behind me.
"I know." I turned back to him. "But that doesn't make it hurt any less."
"I know you wish you could go back and change things. I do too. But we can't, we just have to keep going. You'll find your place in this world, I know it!" He said, trying to be encouraging. I smiled at him weakly.
"Isaac, we're not supposed to be here. Neither of us belong in this world, and I wish we did. There's just no room for us. And I wish there was, that would be nice, but there's not. Not anymore. I'm gonna be stuck right here in this same moment forever. Just like I have been for the last 5 years. Deep down you know that. But at least you can move on."
"I'm not gonna move on until I can take you with me. I'm not gonna break my promise. We're going to heaven together, remember?" He tried. I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand but more just streamed down to take their place.
"Even when I do die eventually, I won't be going to heaven."
"Don't lose hope, Marty. Please?"
"I already lost it, Isaac. I lost it a long time ago. Thinking about it only makes things worse."
***
When Dean Winchester opened his eyes, he found that he was no longer in bed. Which was strange because he distinctly remembered falling asleep in the aforementioned place. He flicked his eyes about to try to determine where exactly he was. After just a few minutes, his foggy and sleep doused brain finally made sense of the information his body was feeding him.
Dean came to the unfortunate conclusion that he had fallen out of bed. Despite how unhappy he was with the results of his deduction; Dean was amazed that he had only woken up quite a while after the minor tragedy and not during the action of falling out of bed.
He must have beenĀ veryĀ tired.
But that was remedied now, and Dean felt ready to take on anything... In a few minutes. He'd have to get some coffee first. Peeling himself off the floor, he stumbled to the door and into the hall, making his way toward the smell of food wafting from the kitchen.
Now, whatever thoughts Dean had about his coherency when he walked into the kitchen and stuffed a bagel in his mouth, were not shared by the other two people in the room. If they hadn't known any better, Jack and Sam would have thought Dean was a zombie. A zombie who was hungry for bagels instead of a certain cognitive organ.
"Good morning Dean! Did you sleep well?" Jack greeted, chipper as usual. Dean frowned, snatching the entire pot of coffee, and sitting down with it at the table across from Jack.
"Mmmnhhaamuuuvggh."
"Understandable. Enjoy your coffee," Jack replied to whatever it was Dean had been trying to say. Sam raised his eyebrows at his older brother's lack of cognitive function but said nothing. It amazed Sam that he and his brother could be so different.
After a few silent minutes of nursing his coffee, the smallest bit of light began to shine through Dean's eyes. The waking process had begun. Just like the Windows 8 operating system, Dean's waking process was extremely and notoriously slow. But now Sam knew that if he were to begin a conversation with his brother, Dean would at least be able to understand it, if not participate.
"It's 10:45 Dean, just so you know, you slept for twenty-two hours," Sam informed. Dean's eyebrows flinched upward just a fraction of an inch. He clearly was yet to regain control over his facial muscles.
"Mumnnafubnna," He groaned. Jack held back a chuckle for Dean's morning state, he knew laughing out loud wouldn't go well for him. Dean wasn't someone you wanted to laugh at because Dean knew how to get revenge. A prank war was not something you wanted to entice Dean into. He wouldĀ alwaysĀ win.
"Oh, and uh, Cas is back," Sam said. Dean looked up.
"Hm?"
"Woah, there. Careful Dean, that was almost a word!" Sam teased. Dean swallowed a piece of bagel he'd been gnawing on.
"Where?" He croaked out. Sam was about to answer but never got the chance.
"I'm right behind you, Dean." Dean jumped and spat some bagel out onto the table. Whipping his head around he glared at Cas. Jack couldn't help but snicker.
"Mmhn. Nah. Funny. Cas," Dean managed to grid out of his morning stupor. Castiel only shrugged and sat down at the table beside Dean.
"So, uh, Cas, how'd that thing go with the twenty bucks or whatever it was?" Sam asked their resident angel. Castiel frowned.
"The twenty tailed buck," He corrected.
"Yeah, that." Castiel sighed.
"No luck."
"Sorry to hear that." Cas nodded and shrugged again. Jack patted his arm.
"I'm sure you'll have better luck next time!" Jack encouraged.
"Next time is in seven hundred and eighty-two years," Cas sighed.
"Who's counting!" Jack tried to joke. Cas didn't laugh. Sometimes it could be very hard talking to Castiel.
"But I did find us a lead," The angel said, leaning forward and placing his hands on the table. The rest at the table looked up. "A very interesting one."
"Spill," Dean commanded, grumbling. Cas glanced at the bagel-eating zombie on his left and briefly wondered how Dean Winchester could be one of the best hunters in the world.
"There appears to be some extremely powerful ghost activity going on in northern Michigan. I was passing by a store and saw it on the news," Castiel told them, nodding seriously.
"You saw it on the news?" Sam asked, skeptical.
"Yes. The anchor woman said the video recording was 'going viral' or something like that," Cas answered, making air quotes with his fingers.
"Huh."
Sam pulled out his lap-top and began typing away. Jack briefly wondered how it was that Sam's laptop was always nearby when he needed it, but he quickly decided that he didn't want to dwell on that question and went back to his cereal.
"Cas, do you know where in Michigan this was?" Sam asked, looking up. Castiel nodded.
"Yes, I believe it was a Bronze Port- wait no. It was-"
"Was it Copper Harbor?"
Cas blinked before nodding again.
"Yes, I think that was it."
"Well, I think I found the video." Sam turned the laptop around for the rest to see.
Displayed on the screen was a video of the security footage of a minimart. Though it wasn't very mini for a mart. The footage was taken in black and white and although it was somewhat grainy, it was still clear enough to see the subjects. A young woman walked into the store, talking to someone on her phone. She nodded at the cashier and went to look for something in the hair care isle. Everything seemed normal, before a shelf full of peanut butter flew off the rack and crashed to the floor. Like someone had dragged their hand along the shelf and knocked everything off. But the young woman had been the only one in the store and she hadn't been anywhere near the peanut butter.
"Hey! Did you see that?" Jack exclaimed.
"What? See what?" Sam asked pausing the video.
"That woman stole something right when the peanut butter when flying. Watch it again!"
Sure enough, Jack was right. The woman had snatched some hair ties and a brush, stuffing them in a pocket and her boot, the second after the peanut butter tumbled to the floor. The four hunters kept watching. The girl who had stolen the brush and hair ties walked over to the cashier, who was picking up the fallen peanut butter. The camera never caught a glimpse of the thief's face as she ducked down and picked up one of the peanut butter jars and handed it to the cashier. Then the thief walked over to look at the jackets. She whipped out her phone and started typing something.
"What is she doing?" Castiel wondered aloud.
On the screen, the woman flipped her hair and leaned her phone outward, as if showing it to someone looking over her shoulder. But of course, there was nobody there. Then the woman tucked her phone away and went back to looking at the jackets hanging on the wall.
"Look, look, look! Right there! Did you see that?" Jack hastily pointed at a spot on the screen.
"I didn't see anything," Sam said, shaking his head.
"Rewind it and slow it down."
Sam did as Jack said. Rewinding a few seconds.
The thief on the screen went back to examining the jackets again. Jack pointed to that same spot as last time.
"Right there!"
This time Sam, Cas and Dean all saw what Jack was talking about. A face flickered into view by one of the shelves. Then, for a split second an entire ghostly form could be seen making a rude gesture at the camera, just before that shelf crashed to the floor. The thief grabbed a jacket off the rack and dashed out of the mini-mart just slightly faster than humanly possible. But the Winchesters and their two angelic companions didn't notice that part. They were too focused on the ghost. Sam sat back in his chair.
"Looks, legit. Should we check it out?"
"Yes." Jack and Cas said at the same time.
"No," Said Dean. The rest of the merry troop looked at him. "It looks legit. Doesn't mean it is." He shrugged, finishing the rest of his coffee.
"We've done more on less," Sam argued. "Besides," He continued scrolling on the laptop, "from what it says here, this isn't the only case in Copper Harbor. Crap like this has happened all over the town! Crazy, unexplainable disturbances followed by missing items. Reports go back for the last five years!"
"So that thief is using a ghost to help her steal stuff?" Jack asked, clearly exited.
"Yeah, and not just material items. Most of these reports come from the local hospital. She's stealing blood." Sam looked up at Dean who nodded.
"Sounds good enough for me."
***
"And that's checkmate, again!" Isaac shouted triumphantly. I moaned and slammed my head against the table.
"How?! How are you so good at chess?!" I shouted, my frustration at being beaten for the eighth time in a row was reaching critical mass.
"I have two words for you," Isaac smirked, counting the words off on his fingers, "Chess. Club."
"Uuuuggghhhaaa!!!"
"Wanna rematch?" I snapped my head to look back up at him.
"No!" I hurriedly shoved the chess pieces out of the way and brought out the checkers. "We're doing checkers! Lets see who's kingĀ now!" Isaac just shrugged.
"More humiliation for you, I guess."
"We'll see about that, pretty boy!"
"Mommy, mommy! She called me pretty!"
"I didn't mean it."
"I know."
"You're dead so it doesn't count."
"Well, that's just hurtful," Isaac pouted.
I smirked and pulled out my phone. Scrolling through the news and memes as I waited for Isaac to take his turn. He was always slow at checkers. As I scrolled passed a rather painful dad joke, I saw something that first caught my eye and then made my blood run cold.
"Your turn!" Isaac said. I didn't reply. I couldn't.
"Honestly, I don't know what makes you think you can beat me."
I tried to speak up.
"Isaac?"
He wasn't paying attention.
"I mean when have you ever beaten me?"
"Isaac."
"And don't say that one time with the ping-pong because we both know that doesn't count!"
"ISAAC!"
Now he looked up.
"What?"
I swallowed.
"You know how you said you always wanted to be famous?" I asked him weakly. I felt sick.
"No, no! I never said I wanted to be famous. I said I wanted to be a meme. There's a difference," Isaac said, smiling.
"Isaac?"
"Yeah, thatās my name. Why do you sound like you're gonna barf?" I turned my phone to let him see what was displayed on my screen and apparently millions of others. The footage of me and Isaac in the mini-mart.
"I think we just hit the prime time..." I said. Isaac looked up at me, if his pale, dead face could have gotten paler, I'm sure it would.
"Well, crap."
~ Wouldn't it be nice if we were older? Then we wouldn't have to wait so long And wouldn't it be nice to live together In the kind of world where we belong?
You know it seems the more we talk about it It only makes it worse to live without it But let's talk about it
Oh, wouldn't it be nice? ~
Lyrics from: Wouldn't It Be Nice by The Beach Boys
#jack kline x oc#jack kline#jack kline fanfiction#jack kline x reader#spn#spn fanfiction#superntural#supernatural fanfiction#dean winchester#sam winchester#castiel#alexander calvert#alex calvert#jensen ackles#jared padalecki#jack is baby#the writing gets better#jack kline humor#jack kline fluff#fluff#my name is cas and i write stuff#fanfic#thanks for reading#have a nice day
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The After; The Athar: Chapter Three
Chapter 3/?
Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 [Here] - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5
AO3: This Chapter - Full Fic
Summary: Post Season 2, non-Mianitian Compliant. Wag escorts Martha to Jordanās house and decides to have a day out with Sonja.
Relationships: Sparklington (end-game), Marthlington (temporarily), Sparkanite (Spark x Ianite) (past, mentioned), Motanite
Content Warnings: Death Mentions, Implied Depression, Implied PTSD, Self-Deprecation, Breaking up a Relationship (Marthlington)
AN: A good handful of these first chapters are going to be set up and exposition for later. I wanted to put some worldbuilding and character buildup with more than just Wag and Jordan because itās nice and feels more fleshed out that way. This is more or less my version of a post-S2, maybe S3 fic, so I wanted to go ham on it.
āāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāā
The trek home was much more light hearted. More dramatacisms about the flower, a joke about Wagās weed quest here, and easy banter shared back and forth. Wag would like to think that Sonja looked more relaxed on the way back, like a weight fell off her shoulders.
But that was an ongoing battle. It would be some time before it really fell away.
Of course, halfway home Sonja dropped another bombshell.
āI think Iām going to break up with Tucker.ā Sonja spoke up.
Wag tried not to visibly startle. No, he didnāt see this coming. Should he have? Maybe. Actually, he expected Tucker to be the one to end it, after the whole Shadowās business.
And here Wag was, staring at her like a fish struggling to breathe.
She rolled her eyes at him. āDonāt look so surprised. Itās going to happen whether I bring it up or not.ā
āAre you breaking up with him because youāre afraid heās going to break up with you?ā He was still trying to pick his jaw off the floor.
āHmm.ā Sonja considered this for a moment. āYes, but also no. Iām not afraid heās going to, I just have a strong feeling he will. At the very least, weād need to take a break since all of-,ā she gestures to herself vaguely, ā-this happened. And, honestly?ā Her head tilted to the side. āItās probably for the best. I do love Tucker, and it will take some time to let those feelings simmer and fade if we do break up, but I think weāve beenā¦ drifting from each other for a while.ā
āWhat?ā His eyes snapped back to hers. āReally?ā
Sonja nodded. āThis wasnāt our first fight. Or, well, falling out. Things were fine before we jumped into the void, but we didnāt agree with how to handle the new world. How to handle Ruxomarās Mianite.ā
Wag nodded slowly. He wouldnāt know the difference. If he was being honest, he didnāt really know the other heroes that well before Ruxomar happened. He was a wizard, tasked with building, magical in every sense, and he had his own squad. The most he had thought of Tucker and Sonjaās relationship was when he helped build their home.
She sighed. āTucker was very intent on following that Mianite. Ever the devotee. Granted, Tom and Jordan were the same with their gods but theirs wereā¦ different? I guess? Ianite wasnāt around, to start, and Dianite was dead. But we always had an idea on Mianite.ā
Her tail swished behind her and she grabbed it for a moment, running her hand down its length before letting go. āHe was who all of Dagrun worshipped.ā Her voice took on a darker tone. āOr were supposed to worship. Tucker only wanted to believe the best of Mianite. I wasnāt quite with it. We would fight, sometimes, about Mianite, or something he did, or what his effect on the town was. Then there was the Ianitas, there was Inertia, there was-ā She took a breath. āThere was a lot.ā
Turning to look at Wag, she gave him a smile and a shrug. āIt got a bit tense between us, for a while. Well, it has been tense. Things didnāt really cool off until we were floating aimlessly in the void, again, and we had time to think and talk it out.ā
āSo you think that with your whole Shadows business coming out you guys need some time apart? To let the tension simmer down?ā It was starting to make some sense. Let time and distance see if the heart will grow fonder or if the mind will let go.
Or something like that.
āKind of.ā Sonja turned back towards their destination. āI just. I donāt know if after this weāll be able to make it work anymore. And if we canāt Iād rather end it on good terms than, I donāt know, explosive, world shattering, terrible terms?ā
āBasically, you still want to be friends if things donāt work out.ā
āYeah, pretty much.ā
They walked in silence after that. A comfortable one, but heavy nonetheless. Wag had a lot to think about. He was about to go through a break-up too. Should he say something? Ask her about it? Martha and him didnāt really have any rough, tense things that were breaking them apart. They hadnāt fought, or brought up dark, hard secrets. It was just a falling apart. They still loved each other.
There was just someone missing.
And there was nothing Wag could do to make up for that hole Steve had left.
He looked back at Sonja, who was casually thumbing one of the petals of the cornflower theyād picked out for Mianite. She was lost in thought, but there was a determined look in her eyes. She was moving in the right direction. Growing, letting change come through.
Wag wanted nothing more than to plant his feet in the ground and stay where everything was easy. Easier. But the world had other plans.
In the end, when they made it back home, Wag hadnāt said anything. There was a place inside him that was afraid of speaking his decision into words. Afraid that if he said he was going to break up with Martha that things would start to fall apart.
He sure hoped not.
---
Wag spent the rest of the day sorting out the flowers theyād found and parsing through potion orders. Most of what theyād picked were more natural- flowers, some vines, and a butt load of four leaf clovers. Which so happened to grow more frequently in the area theyād gone to.
He knew from experience.
The potion orders were easy enough to set up. Heād finished boxing and tagging all the luck potions- there were only three left to do- and scheduled a shipment time, which meant going to his mail cart and placing in a whole crate of them for the post office to deliver for them.
This area had a post office now, freshly installed around the time the town popped up. Convenient for wizards who didnāt get out much.
Then he organized the rest of his current potions in terms of difficulty- easy ones go first- and picked up any new orders from the mail.
Boring, boring, boring.
Once heād set all of that up he took to his greenhouse. Tended to his plants. Checked on his latest crossbreeding project. It was still developing, but he checked each stage for weed-adjacent properties. None yet.
And then, silence. Nothing to do. He could eat, he could sleep, he could read until his eyes bled. Oh, wait. Scratch that. He could read until his eyes dried out.
He rolled said eyes at that train of thought. In reality, he was just going to go to sleep. The sun had just set, which was excuse enough for him. Sure, he could research his magic related issues, or his weed related quest, or something, but heād done enough thinking today. Had enough problem sorting.
But as he laid down to sleep, clad in sweatpants and a simple gray shirt this time, he was wide awake.
There was an unsettled buzz humming beneath his skin. Something restless and worried. Things were changing faster than he wanted them to.Ā
Sure, he could take a town forming, he could take new people showing up, he could take the Ruxomar people living here, all of that was fine. New things werenāt as hard to keep up with.
But the old things changing?
Seeing Sonjaās and Tuckerās relationship crumble, seeing Jerryās Tree change, Mianiteās Temple change, being left behind by his fellow wizards. Everything to do with Martha. It was like life was starting to move on without him, and Wag was still left knee deep in everything that had happened. The past was clinging to him, dragging him down, stopping him from reaching into the future, practically tearing him from the present.
How long until he didnāt recognize the people around him? How long until they grew so far from him that he really became just some random guy making potions in a tower? Would people care? Would they think back and wonder what happened to him?
It hurt to think about. If Wag had his way, heād banish the thoughts from his head forever, but things have a strange way of crawling back when you donāt want to think about them. Still, it was a struggle. Everything felt like it was moving too fast, like Wag was too far behind to catch up.
He really should try to get out more.
But why? So he can watch things change? So he can look on helplessly as the world around him becomes something new? Whatās worse, seeing change happen and being unable to keep up, or stepping out of your house one day to see that nothing was the same?
Wag rolled over.
Dear Athar this is not what I want to be thinking about.Ā
Heād just have to do his best to keep up. To claw his way back to the present when the past tries to drag him down. If he can at least stay with it, change wonāt feel so bad. If heās in the thick of it, surely he, too, will feel it? Will change for the better.
Wag sure hoped so.
The distant sound of bells broke his thoughts. His doorbell, to be exact.
By now it was the dead of night and any right-minded person was sleeping right now. Or trying to. Wag considered whether it would be better to stay in bed, wallowing, or get up and see whatās what.
Another ring urged him to rise.
He spiralled down, and down, and down his stairs, his room being at the top of the tower. Wag missed elevators so much. Maybe he could be the man to pioneer the elevator. Start with a simple pulley system, like they use in mines, and work up from there.
Letting go of that train of thought, he finally reached the bottom floor and strode over to yank the front door open.
It was Tom.
āBought time you showed up mate, I thought I was gonna hafta walk up there to get you myself,ā Tom chirped. āOh!ā He leaned in. āI didnāt wake you up, did I?ā
Wag gave him a deadpan look. āDidnāt you just say you would have gotten me up if I hadnāt answered?ā Tom grinned at him cheekily. āThought so. And, for the record, no. I was pondering lifeās mysteries like one normally does at,ā He squinted into the outdoors. āWhatever fucking time it is.ā
āWonderful! May I come in?ā Tom asked, already walking in.
āBe my guest.ā Wag made an aborted movement to complain about the fact he walked in anyway, but thought better of it.
Tom wandered the foyer for a moment, trying to get out extra energy, before he flopped onto Wagās mediocre couch. Wag knew he ought to offer food and drink, but it was too late at night for him to care. Instead, he took a seat beside Tom, whose head was leaning over the back of the couch.
āItās been a while, huh?ā Tomās face was lacking his normal energy. Like the act of sitting let it all out. His hands, however, fluttered nervously, fingers drumming, palms smoothing down his pants.
āWe saw each other yesterday.ā Wag regretted not getting a drink. He was feeling Tomās restlessness. It would be nice to have something to do with his hands. āNot that long ago.ā
Drawing his shoulders up, Tom released a sigh. āLong enough.ā
Silence again.
āHave.ā Tom stopped. He was mulling over his words, a rare occasion for someone who prefered to think on the fly. āHave you been doing alright recently?ā
A strange question.
āDefine recently.ā Wag wasnāt about to open up another heart to heart discussion. One per day was enough.
āYāknow. Recently! Like, the past few days.ā
Try since we fell back into the world.
āI guess? I havenāt felt any different than before.ā
This is where Tomās eyes sharpened. He appraised Wag, took him in. Surely, what Tom saw was a tired, weary man. A Waglington far from his best. Hair messy, eyes dark, the strain of life held deep in his shoulders.
Except, none of his keener friends had noticed. Why would Tom?
āYou havenāt been doing well for a while, huh?āĀ
Or, rather, why wouldnāt Tom?
Still, Tom being the one to notice was a shock.
Wag looked him in the eyes, held them for a moment, then looked away. That was answer enough, in his opinion.
āShit,ā Tom softened up, curling forward to rest his elbows on his knees, face pillowed in his fists. āWhy didnāt you say something?ā
Why? Well, there were a number of reasons. They bounced in his mind every time he thought to himself, āWould anyone care?ā
Feeling insignificant, feeling useless, hopeless, like after everything heād done it didnāt mean anything.
Maybe he was depressed.
āI couldnāt. I didnāt know how- I,ā Wag couldnāt find the words. āI didnāt want to bring everyone else down with my problems when they all have their own.ā
Tom straightened up and turned towards him. Leaned in. Got close to his ear. āWag.ā His voice was breathy, light.
āThat is the dumbest shit Iāve ever heard.ā
And loud. Fuck, did he have to get that close.
āItās not dumb! Itās just how I felt. Feel.ā Tom didnāt have to be a dick about it. āYou guys do have shit going on, though! Everyone is trying to deal with their own crap, why would I add mine like a sour little cherry on top?ā
Said asshole flopped on top of him, forcing Wag to lean back to accommodate Tom on his lap. āThatās not what I meant. How you feel is how you feel. What I meant is that we donāt give a shit about what all we have on our plates, we care about you.ā
Wag moved to hold his head in his hands, making sure to dig his elbows into Tomās back. āAnd I care about you enough to not want to worry you.ā
āWag.ā
āYes.ā
āThatās-ā
āBullshit?ā
āBullshit.ā
Tom wrapped his arms around Wagās waist and snuggled in. Wag fell back into the couch. āStill. I donāt want to drag you down.ā
āIf we canāt deal with your problems, weād let you know.ā
āIām sure.ā
āI would, at least.ā
Wag huffed. āI know you would. You like to let everyone know whatās on your mind.ā
āSometimes.ā Tomās voice was flat. It was unsettling.
āDo,ā Wag rubbed soft circles into Tomās back. āDo you have a problem you want to talk about.ā
Tom buried his face into Wagās stomach. āYes,ā his voice was muffled, but audible. āBut not now. Iām here because I felt like you were thinking too hard and needed someone to talk to.ā
That was interesting. He āfeltā like it?
āI appreciate it. But how-?ā Tom squeezed his waist. It was a clear not now.
āDid you want to talk about whatās up with you?āĀ
Wag shook his head, then realized Tom couldnāt see him. āNo. Iāve had enough heart dumping today.ā
They sat in silence again.Ā
āAre we gonna just lay here?ā Tom said nothing. āDid you just wanna snuggle on the couch until one of us decides to get up?āĀ
Wag received a non-committal hum.
āAlright then, but if someone walks in on us here Iām going to have to tell them they weāre involved in a long standing affair.ā Wag moved to lay alongside Tom on the couch, comfortably curling an arm around him. Tom responded with a quiet chuckle.
An easy silence washed back over them. Having Tom as a warm weight next to him was helping, surprisingly. Or maybe not surprisingly. It was harder to think about all the things that made you feel like shit when you had someone else holding your waist in a death grip. Was it a little painful? Yes. Did it help nonetheless? Also yes.
In the end, he was grateful Tom showed up.
---
Wag woke up with a pain in his back and a groan. Which wasnāt terribly unusual, except he couldnāt remember what he did to get his back right to the point of aching without being downright horrible. Or why his neck would feel stiff.
Then, of course, there was the weight settled on his chest. Tom. Tom drooling on his chest.
Ever the good friend, Wag decided to help him wake up. By lovingly pushing Tom off him. Only to go crashing down to the floor as well when Tom, sensing movement, latched on tight.
āAw, fuck,ā were Tomās first words of the morning, followed by a, āWhat the fuck.ā
Wag shoved at Tom. āLet go. I love you too, but I would rather not sit on my couch all day.ā
āWell, why not? Thatās as good a way to spend a day as any.ā Tom held on with an impish grin, still groggy from his sudden awakening.
āAw, you guys looked so cute up there.ā A voice from the stairs drew their attention. Martha. āAnd here I thought you guys were such good friends, cozying up to each other. Iād come down to give you a blanket, but I suppose you wonāt be needing it now.ā
True to word, a blanket was held in her arms. Wag flopped onto Tom, squishing him into the floor. āOh, Martha dear, you are just a little off. You see, Tom and I here are not friends, we are-ā
Tom jumped in, āLovers. Have been since we met in our early teens. Sorry to break it to you, but Wag was mine first and I want him back.ā
Marthaās eyebrows shot up. āIs that so?ā There was a teasing note in her voice. āDoes that make me the rebound? Waggles, I canāt believe you would disgrace me so.ā
If anyone was the rebound, Wag thought, itās me.
āYep!ā Tom popped the āpā. āAnd now that we are well and fully together again, what shall we do with you.ā
Wag rolled his eyes and sent Martha a wink. She hid a giggle behind her hand.
āWell, Tomothy, I have bad news for you.ā Wag looked down into Tomās eyes, giving his cheek a mock caress. āMartha is way cooler than you. Sheās got purple hair, to start, and some spectacular magic tricks. I donāt know if you can compete with that.ā
There was a flash of something in his eyes, and for a moment Wag saw Tom's mouth open only to be replaced by a dark, pained look. Then it was gone, replaced by Tomās usual mischief.
āI canāt believe you!ā Tom let go, finally, to push Wag away and roll to the side clutching his heart. āAfter all weāve been through! That one time I gave you my meat! When we did drugs together! And youāre leaving me because my hair isnāt purple!ā
He got up, dusting his legs off, and sashayed to the front door. āThatās fine, Iām too much of a boss ass bitch for you anyway. Ta ta, my not dearest. Until we never meet again!ā
Then he was gone.
Martha piped up again, having moved to place the blanket on the couch. āAs dramatic as always.ā She shook her head. āIām afraid I only stopped by to pick something up for Dad. Iāll be leaving as well.ā
Wag pulled himself off the floor as she passed, giving her a smile. She hesitated before returning it.
She opened the door with a look over her shoulder. āGoodbye, love.ā
And, just as she started to walk out, she muttered to herself, āDid Tom already make it down the mountain? Strange.ā
Then Wag was alone. Again.
---
It was midday when Wag found himself back at the bakery, quietly eating an apple tart while Gretchen eyed him from over the counter. There were a few customers here and there, though most of the village inhabitants out fishing for the day or working their craft. Wag, of course, ran on whatever schedule suited his needs per day.
Gretchen, who was preparing dough for tomorrow, was clearly waiting for him to say what was on his mind. He ducked his head farther into his hood.
He was that obvious, huh?
āSo, how has your da-ā Gretchen cut off his attempt at light conversation. āYou asked when you came in. Try again.ā
Stunned, he reconsidered his words. āWhat do you think of-ā She cut him off with a click of her tongue.
Clearly, she was not taking any bullshit today. Which was unfortunate. Wag wanted nothing more than to fill his days with insignificant bullshit if that meant he never had to face his problems.
Fuck.
Why was asking for advice so hard?
Gretchen hummed quietly to herself. Wag finished the tart. Slowly licked his fingers clean. And came up with nothing to say.
A customer came and went. The door closed with a soft jingle of the bell at the top.
He broke.
āI need to break up with Martha and I donāt know how.ā
Gretchen turned to him with a surprised and considering look. āI didnāt think you had it in you.ā
āWhat?ā He scowled. āWhatās that supposed to mean?ā
She paused in her ministrations. Wiped her hands off on her apron. Turning to him, she leaned against the counter. āI didnāt think youād consider that you werenāt happy with your relationship. Itās clear as day that you two arenāt much of a couple. Whether you were before you got here aint none of my business, but as you are now? I coulda mistaken you for friends, at best.ā
Oh.
Ouch.
āYeah,ā Wag trailed off. āI donāt, uh, Iām not really sure how much of a couple we were either. Back then. Do you mind if I,ā he waved his hands half-heartedly, āvent a little?ā
Gretchen gave him a fond head shake. āI already put the dough down, Iām all ears.ā
āSo, um.ā He wasnāt sure where to start. When they first met? When he started thinking that he might like her? When he realized he loved her? When they got together?
Steve?
āMartha was already in a relationship when we met.ā Gretchen raised an eyebrow but said nothing else. āThe guy she was with was the farmer type, rough, could fix anything with a little elbow grease and a stern look. Followed Dianite, the new one.ā
Wag took a second to figure out where he was going with this. āThey were engaged, actually. And then broke it off later. Martha and I grew close after that. But the thing was- is- Martha still loves Steve. Misses him. But heās-ā He broke off, lost again.
āDead?ā His head snapped to her. She held her hands up. āHey, you were talking about him all past tense, and from what I heard about whatever happened to that other place, if someone didnāt show up here after all that calamity, they arenāt going to show up ever. Theyāre gone.ā
Yeah, he was. Steve was six feet under. Farther than that. He was lost to the void with Ruxomar. Lost to Dianiteās soul. Claimed by the acts of the past for a better future.
And look where that got them.Ā
āYeah, heās dead now. It killed her, I think. She lost her mother, had all this power, yet she could do nothing to stop Steve from dying, too.ā Wag was beginning to connect some dots, the kind of dots you look at and roll your eyes and claim are just things that happen in shitty romance novels.
Gretchen had her head on her fist now, invested. āWhy did they split?ā
āUh,ā Wag struggled to recall the information. āBecause... I think it was because Steve āmoved around too muchā.ā He made air quotes. āOr went on too many missions for Dianite? I donāt know the details.ā
āOh, thatās no good.ā When she saw Wagās confused face, Gretchen continued. āIf they split over something like that, thereās always a good chance they still loved each other. Iām afraid to say it, but you may have been the rebound.ā
Wag hated to hear that. āHey, she flirted with me before their relationship was over. It was a mutual flirting thing, too!ā
Gretchen groaned. āYou guys flirted, while she was in a relationship, that you knew about, and when it was over she came to you? That sounds suspiciously like needed comfort after leaving the love of her life and knew you could give her that.ā
He opened his mouth to retort, but deflated like a two weeks old balloon.
Taking a breath, a wheeze at best, he tried again.Ā āYou donāt understand. Martha is, sheās amazing. Sheās dedicated, and smart, and talented, and sheās always trying her best even under the pressure of being a demigod and having everyone look to you expecting greatness out of you.ā
His heart was beating faster.
āAnd sheās polyamorous! She has room in her heart for more than one love, and we both knew that! Steve knew that! Martha didnāt rebound on me, exactly, but Steve and I had a mutual understanding that we both had places in Marthaās life and that was that.ā
āShe was kind, and caring, and only wanted the best for the people around her. There are so many amazing things about her.ā His words were sweet but his voice was desperate.
āThereās no way she would be able to use someone- to use,ā Wag grew quieter, āme, like that.ā
Would she?
A hand on his arm startled him. Gretchen looked at him with soft eyes. āHun, I donāt think she was truly ready for another relationship. She definitely didnāt go into it looking to use you. In fact, Iām sure she was in it because she loved you.ā
She let go to move around the counter and lead him to a seat. āYou can see it, sometimes, when sheās with you. The gentle fondness in her gaze, the warmth in the smiles she directs at you.āĀ
āBut you canāt build a solid relationship without hashing through the issues and problems you have.ā Gretchen rubbed up and down his arm. āAnd Martha being caught up on this Steve, thatās something you have to address. Itās no issue to love more than one person, but to let the love you feel for another get in the way of the love you feel for another is.ā
āI just feel awful letting it go like this. I should have put in more effort, tried to bridge the gap more, done something.ā Wag was trying to keep his breathing steady. It was working, somewhat. āIāve let myself get into such a fuckinā rut that I canāt even keep track of everything.ā
Gretchen pursed her lips. āIf I may be so crass, youāve let yourself get so hard focused on everything about you that you havenāt given the time to look at the people around you. Before yesterday, when was the last time youād taken the time to catch up with your friends? How much of their lives do you know about?ā
He wanted to say something, give a date, but he came up blank. āIām trying my best.ā
āYou are, and I see that. But you canāt blame yourself all the way through. Youāve got to consider Marthaās view as well. Neither of you are the villain here, neither of you tried to sabotage or destroy your relationship. Both of you were just trying to feel like things were going alright while other pieces of your life fell apart.ā Taking the seat next to him, she shook her head.
Again, he moved to say something, but she cut him off. āIf you donāt think that those of us āround town donāt notice that you heroes have some shit going on, youāre wrong. We may be the more common around here, but we have eyes. Whatever happened to you, you canāt let it be the reason you get stuck in something that makes you more upset or hurt. Got it?ā
Hesitant, he nodded. She didnāt know much about him, yet she could see right through him, huh? How obvious had he gotten in all his time spent away from people?
āYou know, I didnāt come here to have a heart to heart about my emotional issues.ā Wag tried for a teasing tone but fell a little off.
Gretchen took the bait. āNo sir, you came here because youāre too much of a wuss to just go up to Martha and say āLove, Iām afraid this aināt gonna to work out. Can we just be friends?ā
āOk, but she could literally electrocute me.ā
āAināt gonna be any more painful then the dance you two are doing right now.ā
He had no answer for that.
āThatās what I thought. And, if sheās as nice and amazing as you say she is, would she electrocute you?ā
āNo. But her uncle might.ā
Gretchen laughed. āAh yes, the new Dianite. Thatād be a sight to see. āThis man weāre all suspicious and wary of smiting a local and apparent hero! Is this man actually the second coming of an evil and villainous Dianite?ā Thatād go over well.ā
āOk, so maybe I donāt need to worry about getting my ass cooked by a god. Iām still nervous.ā Wag was, however, feeling a little better about the situation.
āNow, now. You shouldnāt get too comfortable.ā A smile grew in her face, a devious look in her eye.
āWhy?ā
āSpark, you know, her father? The man who built this village, who we all respect and acknowledge as a good man? If he were to come around and to, I donāt know, teach you a lesson for hurting his daughter, none of us would bat an eye.ā
āGee, thanks. If you find me dead in a ditch youāll know what happened.ā
āAre you all ready then?ā She stood, smoothing her apron. āBecause Iām going to kick you out regardless if you say yes or no. If I let you stay here you might not leave.ā
āI was going to say no, but I suppose Iāll wander off, then.ā Wag stood as well. He shuffled in place for a moment while Gretchen returned to the other side of the counter. āThanks. For, you know. All of that.ā
She shook her head. āYou better keep coming in and buying my goods. Call it an even deal.ā
As he begun to walk out, he heard her call, āYouāre welcome to come back if you need another talk!ā
Hopefully, he wouldnāt have to.
---
āMartha, I need to talk to you. About our relationship. I think itās time to end it.ā
Wag was back in his tower, pacing back and forth. No, he wasnāt running from the issue, he just had no fucking idea where Martha was. At all. He should have asked.
Oh well. Too late now.
Instead he had to make the choice of: wait for her at home or attempt to track her down. His decision was fairly obvious. The only issue with said decision was that he had was that there was no way to know when Martha would show up next.
It also occurred to him that Martha preferred not to come around. Shit.
Where would she be? Sheād been talking to Jordan, at his request. Maybe they were still talking? But sheād come ho- come to the tower this morning. Why had she come over? What had she said?
Oh!
She was picking up something for Spark! That meant she was probably with him. Or, heād know where she was.
ā¦
He didnāt know where Spark was either.
āDamn, I wish Iād paid more attention to when Martha talked about Spark,ā Wag muttered to himself, starting towards the door.
Then stopped.
First, Spark was intensely boring in his routine and life. Second, he still didnāt know where to find him.
He missed being able to teleport to people.
Alright, so maybe he should have shown interest in his potential father-in-law, but it was too late for that. He had to find Martha, and finding Spark might be easier.Ā
Who would know where he was? The townspeople might like him, but they all had their own lives. Still, he could ask around. Who had seen him more recently, other than Martha?
A thought struck him.
He face palmed.
Jordan. Not only had Jordan and Martha been talking, which meant he might know where she went, but Jordan complained about Spark lecturing him all the time. If he didnāt know where Martha was, heād likely know where Spark was. Even if it was to make sure he could avoid him.
Alright, easy. Jordan was probably at his house. Tree. Tree house? He had a pretty good track record of keeping close to home, at least.
So off to Jordanās it was.
---
Today, Jerryās Tree made him feel small. It was like it was looming over him as he ascended the hill. Grand and regal. It had seen death and destruction and met the challenge to come back better.
Wag did not feel like he was rising to a challenge so much as descending into a pit of pain. Sliding into a sweet embrace with death. Rolling into the grave.
Maybe he was being dramatic, but the thought of breaking up with Martha created more dread than he felt before in his life.Ā
In any case, it was as he pondered the looming nature that he wondered what it would be like to live there. Then promptly remembered what heād noticed the day before.Ā
He looked over to the Casa de Sparklez. It looked homey and modest against the sprawl of branches and bark. Sure, it seemed insignificant at first glance, but it was simple. Nice.
Wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hadnāt it also been destroyed? Now that Wag thought about it, the last heād seen of it before Ruxomar was a pile of ash and suspended ruins. How was it in this condition? Fixed?
Was it Ianite, again?
How many of Jordanās homes ended in ash?
This was definitely not the reason he was making his way up. He had to focus. Focus! Ask Jordan about Martha and Spark. Easy.
Instead of making his way to the Tree right away, Wag stopped to knock on the de Sparklez door. There was a beat of silence. Did he assume wrong? Was Jordan actually living in the Tree?
Then he heard footsteps. Quiet and uncertain, but there. A flash of movement through the windows. Then the lock was turned and the door swung open.
One Mr. Captain Sparklez in the flesh.
āHey, Wag,ā Jordan drew the words out. āWhat brings you to the good olā Casa de Sparklez and not-ā He looked over to Jerryās Tree. ā-my house.ā
Wag offered him a smile. āI had a hunch youād be here.ā
Jordan raised an eyebrow but motioned him in regardless. The interior looked the same from the few times heād been inside. Birch and quartz, sleek and stylish.
āHow have you been, Wag?ā As Jordan spoke up Wag turned to look at him. He seemed like he was in good health.
āIāve been... better. But Iām doing better than I was, I think.ā Wag could be honest with Jordan. He was pretty sure. Jordan, among all the heroes, was least likely to judge him for having issues. Ianitee and preserving balance and all.
They wandered over to Jordanās couches where Wag declined any food or drink. āThatās good. Always good to be better, yāknow, since weāre all finally getting a chance to relax.ā
āNow,ā Wag put his arm on the back of the couch, āI wouldnāt say that. Say it too much and things will turn south again.ā
āOh, believe me, itāll turn south again. It always does.ā
āWell thatās quite the vote of confidence in us.ā
Jordan snorted. āItās not a lack of confidence in us, it's a lack of confidence in the universe! Whoās to say that we wonāt have another World Historian show up? Or another Shadows?ā
Wow, speaking of Shadows.
āGee, and here I thought I was the downer.āĀ
Jordan laughed, shaking his head. āOnly a little,ā He rubbed his legs. āIāve been using our downtime to get myself resettled, re-setup. To get back to,ā A wave of his hands. āNormal? How things used to be? Iām not sure, yet.ā
āIs that why youāre living here?ā Wag bit back the ābecause it feels more like home, here?ā.
He received a shrug in response. āItās easier to get in here than to wander through the tree.ā
Either that was a flimsy excuse or Wag was reading too deep into this. He wouldnāt be surprised if he was. All heād done recently was think and talk deep. Better catch himself now before he gets ahead of himself.
āSo,ā He pushed his thoughts to the side, āIgnoring the fact that thereās elevators in the tree, howād you manage to get this place back in shape?ā
Jordan looked away for a moment. āIt took a lot of time and resources. Needed to get all that wood and quartz back, y'know? But it gave me a reason to avoid Spark, and it gave me time toā¦ think.ā
āAbout?ā
He turned his gaze towards Jerryās Tree, a thoughtful look in his eyes. āAbout how much things have really changed, and how much they havenāt.ā
Well, Wag was no stranger to this topic. He was a little tired of it. āHow havenāt they changed? Seems like more and more things are growing and becoming different. Nothing feels the same.ā
Jordan was quiet for a minute. He was steadily getting out of his comfort zone here. āWell, thereās a lot of constants. Weāre in the same world, with the same people, with the same ideas of who we are. I know I follow Ianite, I know I stand for balance, and no matter how much Spark tries to tell me Iām doing it wrong, I know what my role is as Ianiteās champion.ā
āSure, the,ā he waves a hand towards the window, to the tree, to the countryside, āeverything, has changed. The tree got bigger and better and less like I remember, and there's new people and a whole, real village here, rather than the strange village-folk from before. And, yeah, itās weird having the people from the last world among us, but we know them. We know us. Even when things change it's still-ā
Jordan locked eyes with Wag.
āUs.ā
Yeah. He was right. Everything was changing, as everything would. But in the end, after everything has evolved and adapted and become something new, whatās left?
Us.
#sparklington#the after series#waglington#james hayes#captain sparklez#jordan maron#martha the mystic#martha conway#tom syndicate#tom cassell#ii_jeriicho_ii#tucker b0ner#jericho#omgitsfirefoxx#sonja reid#mianite#mianitefa
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speaking of mcu spidey weirdness, am i the only one who feels like they tried to fuse flash with a harry on a particularly bad trip? i remember him being brown in a comic timeline but never mean when sober. and after pheathers, making the bully a smart member of a minority group just feels tonedeaft
I think thereās a very good argument for Norman and Harry being mixed race in the main canon, because I think Norman reads best as a character if thereās something about him that heās personally and to his detriment deeply ashamed of and repressed about and that he goes to great lengths to cover up. This could be that heās mixed race --- the tight curl pattern of the Osborn hair, and Harryās afro in Spider-Gwenās flashback scenes could lend themselves to this -- or that heās Jewish -- again, the tight curl pattern of the Osborn hair and Harryās afro in the Spider-Gwen flashbacks, along with the extremely questionable decision to have Harry bullied for being rich by having kids call himĀ āthe Green Goblin.ā (It is actually still antisemitic if you donāt actually go all the way there, Jason Latour.) The self-hating Jew aspect definitely becomes problematic in a canon where Peter Parker isnāt himself openly and proudly canonically Jewish, so I tend to steer clear of this one, though I do think it could be very interesting in terms of Norman turning himself into the ultimate stereotype of the wealth-hoarding evil Jewish business man through his own self-hatred. My current favorite reading of Norman is that Norman is a deeply repressed gay man. Thereās plenty of subtext here to support this: the obsession with Peter Parker as the young and strong masculine ideal, the deeply campy original Green Goblin design with the fuschia purse and the huge fake eyelashes, Normanās eschewing and disdain for his genetic descendants, the paralleling between Normanās abuse of Harry with a fatherās sexual abuse of his son in The Child Within, and the seduction and later the torture of Flash Thompson when Norman recruited him to be his assistant after his return from the dead. Itās all potentially, to use a word I hate, very problematic without a deft hand in the storytelling, but I think done right and balanced against some honest and positive representation any of the above could offer up some very good stories.Ā
Anyway, all that Osborn stuff aside, yeah, the decisions made with Flash in the MCU truly baffle me. I like the casting of Tony Revolori, who I really enjoyed in Grand Hotel Budapest, but the decision to make him a nerd who verbally bullies Peter instead of a jock who antagonizes Peter is bizarre, to say the least. I think I read an article somewhere that said the change was made because jocks arenāt theĀ āin kidsā anymore, which, like, presents a weird picture of current American high school politics where all the nerds are just picking on each other now in an attempt to become the new pop culture ruling class. Then thereās the fact that Flash, now A Smart Kid, is routinely passed over in favor of Peter, kicked off the decathlon in favor of Peter, and, during the Washington Monument scene, depicted as a person who would rather save a trophy than help his classmate and in-comics high school girlfriend, Liz. So now that Flash is brown, the MCU has decided to portray him as a smart kid who is routinely passed over for the supposedly smarter white kid, and a materialistic coward beside. Iāve seen Homecoming get a lot of praise for its diverse cast, and I have to say I do like much of the casting, but the follow through in the actual movie is, I would say, far less progressive than it looks on paper. See also: this being the first Spider-Man movie with a black love interest and coincidentally the first Spider-Man movie without a kiss scene in it, and the erasure of Mary Janeās identity by pasting her nickname onto a character the screenwriters have been very open about saying isnāt Mary Jane, a character who isnāt even given a last name within the film, following the massive racist backlash after rumors broke out that Zendaya was playing Mary Jane.Ā
Itās also important, in my opinion, to note that in main comics continuity Flash Thompsonās childhood was marked by violent and repeated physical abuse by his father. The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) is the only film franchise to reference this, even though Flash Thompson is a character who has appeared in all three Spider-Man film franchises. The Thompson family in 616 is depicted as extremely blue collar: Flash is a high school football star whoseĀ father is a cop and an alcoholic who beats his son and ridicules his wife. They live in a modest apartment. MCU Flash, by contrast, is depicted as a nerd who drives a very expensive car and gets ousted from the academic decathlon by Peter, who doesnāt even care about the decathlon and just needs an excuse to go to DC where -- conveniences of all plot conveniences -- the decathlon is being held. I mean, they just bussed my dad out to Brooklyn when he was a mathlete, but whatever. (Spider-Man: Homecoming has a deeply weird undercurrent about financial status; almost everyone in the movie is either depicted as comfortably middle class, including the Parkers, or as rich.) Iām going to admit: the scene where Peter steals and wrecks Flashās car made me deeply uncomfortable in the theater, knowing Flashās comics backstory. Absence of on-screen or referenced abuse is not, in and of itself, a lack of that abuse within the story, or rather an erasure of the contents of the work the story was adapted from. If we assume 616 is the main universe, and that everything leads out of there, then from my perspective, unless other evidence is offered up, thereās no reason to assume things donāt line up, i.e., without direct evidence otherwise I have to assume Flash is still a victim of parental abuse. Expensive gifts like a car isnāt direct evidence against that. Flash being a nerd now isnāt direct evidence against that.
(Spectacular Spider-Man #-1)
(Amazing Spider-Man #574)
(Venom (2011) #27)
So I think about scenes like this and then I think about Flash being the butt of the joke in Spider-Man: Homecoming over Peter stealing his car and at the very least, I have to say, Iām not happy with the lack of nuance presented, or the implication that the MCUās Flash couldnāt be a victim of abuse because heās a rich nerd in this iteration. It is, now that you mention it, a bizarrely Harry Osborn-esque take on the character: the expensive car, the rich background, smart but not as smart as Peter, a bit of a jerk to Peter in their early acquaintanceship in a verbal rather than a physical way, not exactly the bravest crayon in the box. But thereās an issue in that too because, like Flash, although rarely depicted as physically, Harry was also abused in his childhood by his father. So weāre back to square one with the car scene and some troubling implications, turning a character who bears the name of one abused character and wears the traits of another into the butt of a joke so Audi could fit another car into the movie.Ā
Like I said, I do like the casting and I think Revolori is a great actor and did his best with the part he was given -- I just wish the character had been handled by the writers and director with any compassion. A big part of me wishes that instead of pasting Ned Leedsā name over Ganke Lee, Miles Moralesā best friend, the MCU had compressed the timeline and just let Flash Thompson inhabit his future rule as Peter Parkerās best friend. Instead, we get Flash Thompson, The One Note Bully: Nerd Remix.Ā
#flash thompson#*replies#traincat talks comics#traincat talks homecoming#mcu negativity/#mcu criticism/#long post/#child abuse cw/#also i keep seeing fics now where the avengers publicly humiliate flash to get revenge for peter and like yikes#Anonymous
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So I have some thoughts and feelings about Vishnal Rune Factory
I am aware that approximately two other people besides me care about this, but literally when has it ever stopped me from rambling at length
So basically, I love Vishnal from Rune Factory 4. Like, a lot. I never commit to anyone in farm sims but boy howdy, he managed to hit literally all the criteria I have to be considered a Favorite Characterā¢. He did it so well, in fact, heās earned a spot alongside characters like Cobalt or Lydia. But like those characters, while there are people who like him, I feel as though he doesnāt get enough credit. The complaints Iāve seen tend to be that heās boring and that he has the worst proposal event. Hell, one of the first few results from googling him is a thread asking if heās supposed to be a joke character. While I can see where this sentiment might come from, Iād like to explain the appeal in a lot of the things people find fault in him for (at least for me), and maybe offer a bit of a different perspective, I guess.
If I had to guess where a lot of these problems that people have with him come from, itās probably the fact that he doesnāt have a lot of lore behind him. To be honest, Vishnal doesnāt really have a whole lot of plot significance. He doesnāt have any direct connection to the capitol of Norad like Arthur or Kiel (via his sister Forte), heās got nothing to do with the Sechs empire like Doug, and heās not a guardian like Dylas and Leon. Vishnal, despite working in a castle and serving Ventuswill (who we shall henceforth refer to as Venti), a literal dragon god, is an everyman by comparison. Heās just a guy trying to do his job the best he can.
Similarly, he also doesnāt have a whole lot of mystery or drama behind him either. With pretty much every other bachelor, thereās usually some kind of dark secret from their past that comes up and has to be dealt with, either through the main plot or through their proposal events. To just give you an idea of the kind of things weāre dealing with here, letās do a rundown.
Dougās entire tribe was killed by Sechs soldiers, but the empire fed him propaganda to make him believe that Venti was responsible so that he would work undercover for them in order to kill her and take the Rune Spheres.
Arthur was an illegitimate child of Noradās king and believes that his mother hated him so much she had to take off her glasses so that she didnāt have to look at him, causing him to have severe trust issues (as well as a glasses fetish? Have fun with that, Freud).
Kiel (and by extension, his sister) is trapped in a well-meaning, but incredibly fucked up family dynamic that forced him to be incredibly sheltered while Forte took on the duties of a knight in a heavily male dominated society to protect him. However, since both of their parents are dead, they have no idea that theyāre allowed to free themselves and become their own people.
Dylas sacrificed himself to become a guardian, fusing with a monster in order to act as a living life support to help keep Venti alive, but when heās finally free, heās hundreds of years into the future, where everything he knows is gone. Itās also implied that before he became a guardian, he was suicidal.
Leon, like Dylas, also sacrificed himself to become a guardian and was flung far into the future. However, he also has the added guilt of believing he left his childhood friend to live the rest of her life emotionally stunted because when he was younger, he made a promise to marry her if she stopped crying so much, but didnāt take it seriously as she did, and couldnāt have kept it even if he did.
Meanwhile, Vishnal has had an utterly average life. In order to help people, he wanted to become a doctor like his father, but felt he wasnāt smart enough, so when he met a butler named Sebastian, he was so impressed he decided to become a butler himself. Though he was worried his father wouldnāt approve of this way of helping people, he was ultimately supportive, helping him train and, through a friendās connections, getting him to Selphia to work under Volkanon.
Vishnal is basically Clark from Connecticut in terms of how average he is by comparison. However, I wouldnāt say this is a bad thing. Even dealing with one of these traumatic backstories is a lot, let alone trying to harem them all (and donāt even get me started on the main plotās drama). A lot of the resolutions to these character arcs are followed up by a proposal, and maybe itās just my age and personal experiences (or the fact that Iām aroace), but when that happens, I donāt get the feeling of āYES, TAKE ME NOW!ā I just think āā¦You literally just found out the thing thatās been screwing you up your entire life was a giant misunderstanding. I get that youāre happy but like, maybe take some time to sort yourself out? See a therapist maybe???ā
But Vishnal, for all of his faults (of which there are many and I will get to that later), generally has his shit together. I respect that and find it a breath of fresh air compared to the cavalcade of angst in everyone elseās lives. Not to say that he doesnāt have any problems at all, because then that would be boring, but they tend to be more focused in the present, and are a bit more grounded in reality and lessā¦ spectacular. But like I said, weāll get to that.
What he lacks in terms of dramatic backstory, he makes up for in personality. Heās veryā¦ intense, to put it mildly. While not completely hyper, heās very high energy and it doesnāt take much to get him psyched up. Heās the type of person to put at least 110% effort in everything he does, and nearly everything he does goes towards his goal of becoming the worldās best butler. Unfortunately, as a result, heās considered one-note. Now, Iām not going to sit here and say he doesnāt talk about butler things all the time, because he absolutely does, but for me, as someone who also tends to get super into things and talk about them endlessly (hence this entire ramble), I find him pretty endearing, if not a tad relatable in that regard. However, for all his single-mindedness, he is still a decently multifaceted character.
Probably the most important thing to note here is that he is a very good person, like ātoo good for this sinful earthā kind of good. He has a natural drive to help others and doesnāt have a mean word to say about anyone (though even he engages in the ultimate Selphian pastime of Teasing Dougā¢ on occasion). Heās also honest to a fault. Itās incredibly easy to tell if heās trying to cover something up because heās usually pretty much an open book and wears his heart on his sleeve. He seems to expect others to be the same way, as he has a bad habit of taking what people say at face value even if theyāve repeatedly shown not to be trustworthy. This often leads him to be the butt of many a joke or the victim of scams. Other times, lighthearted teasing falls flat as he takes it seriously and winds up getting his feelings hurt. But ever the optimist, he doesnāt let setbacks get him down for long.
He very much believes in the power of hard work overcoming any obstacle, and it seems in his mind, literally anything is possible if you train hard enough, and heās constantly trying to prepare himself to master every possible scenario, from protecting important secrets by staying silent to becoming invincible to the common cold by constantly being soaked with water. It generally winds up doing him more harm than good, and even Doug worries about him a little bit because Vishnal will do pretty much anything if you tell him itās special training (though this does not even remotely stop Doug from having a field day with it). Were this not a very āanimeā kind of game, it would honestly be amazing if he hadnāt died from any of his training attempts.
Though it may come across as though he has no idea what is actually possible for a human to achieve, he actually seems to have quite a few hangups about his own limitations. He has a massive perfectionist complex and is incredibly hard on himself. He tends to beat himself up quite a bit when he makes mistakes (I mean the man looks utterly devastated every time he screws up lunch) and outright warns the player (who we shall henceforth refer to as Frey) that he may cause her trouble. However, heās not quite as terrible as he might imply. While he is gullible and very much a klutz, heās got a wide variety of skills and knowledge he rarely gives himself credit for. For instance, heās not exactly street smart by any stretch of the imagination, but heās well-read to a degree that he can actually read things from Arthurās library (which says a lot because Arthur is a colossal nerd), and heās knowledgeable on a number of subjects from farming to geography. On the lake date (when itās not summer), you have the option to ask him more about the kind of training he would do, and he rattles off a list of insane skills (I.e. making tea so good as to become its own singularityā¦singularitea, if you will) like itās no big deal. Mind you, given what someone like Volkanon is capable of, that may just be par for the course as far as butlers go in this universe, but for your average person, thatās honestly impressive, if not a bit terrifying.
His confidence (or lack thereof), however, tends to reflect in the quality of his work. In a small example, every so often, he offers Frey his attempt at curry rice. Itās hot garbage, but if she tells him itās good, he admits he wasnāt very confident in it. However, we see in his prerequisite event (which is a much more overt example) that when heās more confident in himself, heās not only able to make actual food, but is downright hypercompetent in his job. For context, he is conned into buying an overpriced statue that, according to blacksmith and Professional Vishnal Scammerā¢ Bado, will allegedly make him an expert overnight. Wholly believing in this thing, heās suddenly amazingā¦ until he accidentally knocks it over and breaks it. Utterly devastated and unconvinced that his improved performance came from within, heās suddenly infinitely worse than he was when he started. Things of course balance themselves out, but we come away realizing that if he had as much self-confidence as he did pure determination, he could easily reach a point where heād be absolutely unstoppable.
We also see this lack of confidence manifest itself in regards to Frey. If she pursues a relationship, we get quite a bit of evidence that he doesnāt think heās good enough for her. Before he formally asks her out, he lists all the things he does wrong; all the ways heās a novice, essentially warning her of what she may have to deal with. However, if Freyās conquered the RNG and made it this far, then itās safe to say that sheās prepared to take the risk. On the airship date, he outright says once he becomes an expert, heāll finally be the perfect man for her. Even during his own damn proposal event, he tells her heās unreliable. This is incredibly far from the case, as even if he doesnāt really know what heās doing, heās doing everything he can to make this work. He works himself even harder to maximize his time with her, he buys (phony) charms from Bado to keep them together, he asks other bachelors for advice (as poor is it may be at times), he literally asks the entire town for date spot reviews, as well as just straight up reading up on how to be the best possible boyfriend.
Eventually, should the RNG gods be smiling, this brings us to the proposal event. Now, one might imagine that this event might follow the thread weāve been building up here into him learning maybe not to beat himself up so much or becoming a little more self-confident, but no. While this sort of thing happens for a number of other bachelors/bachelorettes, where their prerequisite events foreshadow whatās to come in their proposal events, that isnāt quite the case here. While that development does occur to a degree, itās a bit more subtle and is not really the focus of this event.
His proposal event instead mainly forces him to consider his priorities. So for some context, a butler judge has come, and if Vishnal does well, he may finally earn his first star and be one step closer to being the ultimate butler. In fact, his abilities are already recognized as worthy of the title, but thereās just once teensy little problem. You see, in butlerdom, your master and your partner being one in the same is a bit of a taboo. Dating your boss creates a whole host of problems, after all; not just for you, but your reputation. And so this is where the conundrum comes in. We already know heās incredibly dedicated to this career choice to the point that if he doesnāt succeed, he will literally die trying, but heās now just as dedicated to Frey. Being that this is a proposal event though, you pretty much already know how this is going to end, but just hear me out.
This is currently the biggest decision heās ever made in his life, and is essentially the emotional equivalent of having to choose between losing your right hand or your left. He obviously doesnāt want to throw away years of hard work, but heās also not the type to just leave someone behind in pursuit of his own interests. Frey ultimately saves him from waffling back and forth about it forever by breaking things off so he can pursue his dreams, but literally no one is happy with this. Even the judge feels bad and heās the one who started it. But with this little problem out of the way, Vishnal is free to accept his new rank. Except he doesnāt. After a dramatic, heartfelt speech pointing out that this actually puts him in a better position to serve Frey, and how reputations shouldnāt matter more than protecting the person youāre entrusted to, he whisks her away and proposes. Before she can properly answer though, heās called back to the castle. In the end, the judge is moved by his dedication, and so Vishnal can now have his cake and eat it too. Short, sweet, and to the point.
Itās probably about half the length of the other bachelorsā events, but that doesnāt necessarily mean itās bad. Itās actually a pretty nice contrast between the other proposals. Leon, Arthur, and Kiel have the common thread of having to sort out baggage from their past before they decide to marry. Doug and Dylas, while their events are more lighthearted, are a bit more focused on a lack of communication and resulting misunderstandings that come from trying to surprise Frey with a ring. However, because Vishnalās life isnāt a veritable conga line of angst and trauma, his obstacle to marriage is entirely in the present, and because heās so open about his feelings, he and Frey actually have a chance to sit down and discuss where to go from here, so thereās no communication issues. Plus, his situation, while a bit dramatically handled because anime, is actually kind of relatable. Having to choose between a career and a relationship is a situation that happens to a pretty good number of people, and itās rarely an easy decision. Itās a logical conflict for such a work focused character.
While it doesnāt really overtly follow up on the initial thread that seemed to have been laid out of him learning to be more confident in himself, the transition is definitely there, at least in regards to Frey. Itās just not quite as spelled out in events. Even in his proposal, heās still self-deprecating, but itās a far cry from the absolute list of faults he gave initially asking her out. Not to mention, it absolutely takes a whole lot of courage to one, choose love over your lifeās dream, and two, to do it in the incredibly dramatic and utterly obliterating manner that he did. The relationship also changes some post-marriage. Post-marriage Vishnal is a much different beast than pre-marriage Vishnal. As weāve discussed, in the dating phase, heās a lot less sure of how boyfriend things work, and resorts to asking others for advice and outright studying. Now that heās married, heās less reliant on others and is much more forward. He actually tends to be the one to initiate romantic gestures, from goodnight kisses to using his own sappy lines as opposed to borrowing them from Leon, among other things. Truly a far cry from the days where he would agonize over whether or not to even hold Freyās hand. Sadly, while date dialogue doesnāt really change (with the exception of the room date, where he literally states heās past being shy and awkward), thereās definitely a more visible shift in the focus of his other dialogue from being even good enough for Frey to being more protective. Juryās still out on how much this development has affected his work performance, as thereās no real new mentions of it after the fact (though after marriage he is finally capable of making edible curry riceā¦sometimes!), but at least some degree of his self-esteem is improving.
So basically, to summarize, Vishnal isnāt a bad character. Heās just handled differently than the other bachelors. Heās a bit more grounded in reality as far as his backstory and conflicts are concerned. His development also tends to happen outside of his events rather than being the feature, making it a bit more subtle, and thus a bit harder to spot from a glance, but itās there. For as much fun as he is as a character, I admit heās definitely very tame compared to the other bachelor options, even despite the localizersā attempts to make him spicier, so heās not for everyone. I can see why others might prefer someone a little more exciting or mysterious, like Leon (who seems to be like, god tier as far as RF4 bachelors go), but I hope Iāve at least adequately explained why Vishnal might be appealing to some and has more merit than just a joke character. After all, vanilla is a flavor too, and plenty of people like that.
Anyhoo, thanks for coming to my TED talk.
#kateh rambles#i know readmores don't usually work on mobile so like RIP to your dash i guess#long post#kateh's rf4 tag
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