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i-deserve-to-bite · 2 months

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I'm actually in an INCREDIBLY good mood and have been all day!!

#minus the very strong feelings of adoration theres been zero hate or negative feelings i remember #then again i lost a good chunk of memory regarding today #that was intentional though i didnt want to remember #i had a lot of fun working on minecraft house teehee #aghck!! i hate being thrust into obsession like this but i just cant help but indulge in it #i love it So much regardless of how damaging it is and how itll end up #siiigh<3<3<3 #its going good so far though #im sparing a few thoughts so if it gets messy we wont be bitter and more understanding/less of a mockery of emotions #i dont know how i feel but i know i am so very <3<3<3 currently and that nullifies all other emotions which i think is a good thing #this stuff always leaves me forgettig though #i wish i could remember better! sigh! :-)#i am burning #i want to work on the world more tommorow #i hope i can grab them and show them what ive worked on Teehee!!!#im very proud of it #i wish i wasnt so disspaointing and disgusting but i believe those have been pressed into my notable traits and i take slight pride in how #putrid i am #the dissapointing part less so #i am happy ive been clean for quite a bit now! i wish i hadn't done it before. breaking a vow like that is Awful #i dont want to die or be hurt ! i really do want to thrive and those bad thoughts cant get me in this state when all i want to do is #show devotion and how true my words are all the lies i speak are necessary but hold no danger and if instructed id tell the full truth so #judt random thoughts at this point #:-P #im tired! im trying to maintain this high #i dreamt about them and it was so odd. i dream about them so much Its Weird.#ive dreamt about them more than any of my other hearts so i guess the obsession is just. That Strong.#maybe i'll rant the more obslove thoughts on that blog #siigh #i hope i stay obsessed like this forever where each word from them makes me so violently excited i cant help but gag and giggle TEEHEE

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 11 months

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Cannot Unsee. Cannot Unknow.

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #xue yang #xiao xingchen #song lan #a-qing #blood #special appearance to the fox hairpin. Cute bonus episode and scene #alas I am already struggling a bit with maintaining good flow on this arc #I’ve got a better drawn mdzs art of A-qing coming soon to make up it though!#okay time to talk about This Scene…cause wow the angst is ripe and juicy #what really gets me is the fact Song Lan stays quiet while XXC stabs him….#And that Xue Yang never intended to tell XXC about the fake corpses #NOR did A-Qing want to tell him the truth!!#the theme of ‘ignorance is bliss’ is so strong here…xxc is blind to the evils of the world #and everyone seems to recognize how rare that is. How far they go to preserve it #Yi-city asks a lot of hard questions. As someone who values Honesty above nearly all else-#-the question posed here about whether honesty is truly the correct course of action really gets to me #Lying is a form of kindness in here. And in a story about rumours and manipulations of truth-#its a good parallel to what we see in the main story!#we see the harm caused by trying to lie to be kind. The harm in realizing youve been lied to #there are a lot of plot points around kind lies in mdzs and it facinates me!

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daily-hanamura · 9 months

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#persona 4 #p4 #persona 4 golden #p4g #hanamura yosuke #souyo #this scene revealed so much of their relationship in one go #yosuke has already long been established as yu's confidant at this point but this moment really drove it home!#yosuke anticipates each of yu's behaviour #but even though he disagrees with it he doesn't judge yu for it #even going so far as to help yu hide it from the rest of the team #its debatable whether thats necessarily a good thing #but it demonstrates yosuke's unwavering loyalty to yu while also making clear his disappointment #and of course yosuke has much to feel sad and disappointment over - one the one hand it felt like yu didnt trust him/them enough #he phrased it as a matter of “you should trust us more” as opposed to “you should trust ME more” because talking about trust in the singula #would hit too close to home and risk making too many demands of yu. demands that yosuke didnt feel he was allowed to make #afterall why would yu trust him but not the others? but the team is made up of other more reliable people than he was #and bringing up the team gives yosuke a defensive cover #so as usual it's part of yosuke's self doubt creeping in #but theres also honesty here - yosuke wasnt here to accost him or be angry at him; he really showed up just to make sure that yu was safe #and once hes confirmed it yosuke falls back to his usual habits of cracking a joke to lighten the mood #to end the conversation on a joke feels like its as much a service for yu as it is for himself #we know yosuke tends to joke to make the people around him feel better and i think in this instance he was also trying to cheer yu up #whether it was to make up for yosuke approaching him or to alleviate any guilt yu might feel #or even to manage whatever it was that adachi might have said to yu (which yosuke undoubtedly picked up on)#yosuke doesn't let his disagreement with yu get in the way of supporting his partner #to some extent i also wonder if this loyalty was also coloured by their previous interaction with namatame and Yosuke's anger #it's been less than a week since that incident after all and i think theres this contradiction for yosuke #and i think there was probably a contradiction in Yosuke's heart in that moment: he doesn't trust himself to make good judgements #but as much as he'd rather take yu's lead in this instance he also feels like his leader was wrong here

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klonoadoortophantomile · 1 year

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style experimentation stuffffff

#big fan of when ppl stylize objects like this . its real good #not sure if ive entirely captured what im trying to go for yet but WHATEVER im having fun and dont hate how these have been turning out #ii clover #ii suitcase #bfdi book #inanimate insanity #bfdi #osc #scribbles #bright colors #eyestrain #id in alt text #(was originally gonna post this when i first drew these which was likeeee at the very start of the year i think #but i never got around to it. so uh all thw previous tags r kinda old #i dont feel like rewriting them.#anyways uhm. been wanting t o mess around with this kinda style for a while now #like as far back as 2019/2020 #never got around to like. commiting to stylizing characters that much though cuz uhm #idk i was lazy??

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wormfunkie · 2 months

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really gotta say. not a fan of norman. dude has to be one of the worst dads in pokemon and the bar is already pretty low 💀

#to being said i have not made it to the black and white arc yet so ghetsis might just beat that record but so far? its norman #pokespe #like as many jokes as i make about Giovanni being a shit dad the dude does actually care about his son #yeah he is not a good person nor do i think he is supposed to be written like a good person however #Giovanni still like actively cares about his son Ruby's dad in the meantime just keeps #just keeps hitting me with fhe exact opposite thing you would think a dad would do #yeah yeah yeah let me train my son and be emotionally disconnected from him so i can train him to go through a really dangerous tower with a #a really dangerous pokemon yeah yeah yeah wait? my son hates? ok so like I'll get another kid that #that i did not want to train to begin with and only wanted to be a good trainer and make him climb the tower even though he already #has problems breathing go climb the dangerous o zone tower go go go

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s0fter-sin · 10 days

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is there any actual catharsis in the boys or is it all just suffering and scrambling for a crumb of relief

#bc i cant handle whump without a bit of silver lining #its why i didnt like game of thrones #theres just so much suffering and the entire time you want just something to go right for the characters you like #but its just bad thing after bad thing #and the people you dont like keep getting worse and getting away with it #i already know homelander will exhaust me #theres enough celebrities and rich people that do horrific shit and get away with it in real life i dont need that in my shows too #like for a while? i can deal #but season four is airing and this mother fucker is still adored even if he is being sued or something #i know its not the type of show with clear cut good guys and bad guys thats not what i mean #but yeah is there any relief? or any good things?#or is it just it starts off bad and gets worse and thats the point #i need there to be a reason for all the suffering you know?#so far i like black noir (though i know what happens to him) butcher and a train #and a little bit of the deep but i can also see him annoying me for long chunks of time #is it bc elliot knight is in the new season and i can do a cod crossover with it? maybe so #either way i’ll probably end up not watching it and just watch vicariously through gifs and fic lmao #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #the boys #homelander #billy butcher #soldier boy

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puppyeared · 6 months

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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........

#MOTHER FFFFUCKER #to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants #im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night #at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn #to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS #the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori #but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey #consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick #outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to #animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better #at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH #i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc #im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over #where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands #there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE #ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles #but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your #health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves #also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet #im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to #have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to #to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up #their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ #yapping

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kristsune · 1 year

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So I had to do just a little post for some of my favorite moments from the Fanfic Showcase stream with Jonny and Alex. Some such moments are: trousers vs pants, silly around heifers, my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, big friendo vibes, Tim’s characters/Tim, Don’t Build Gods, Jonathan Obsidian Sims (screenshot included), too many ghosts, 120 Billion Ghosts, ghost inflation situation, crack fiction, tma/breaking bad crossover, Thanks!, its no 120 Billion Ghosts.

screenshot by me

#rusty quill #rq streams #alexander j newall #jonny sims #the magnus archives #tma #my audio #this was far more fun than i expected #though i think any time they do something together its going to end up a good time for everyone #and there was so much more fun than what i captured #but this was delightful

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carcarrot · 23 days

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do i really want to make individual drinks again

#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe #in preparation for the possibility of this new job #it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly #but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much #not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers #godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao #but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less #but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that #like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know #a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice #i dont knowwwwwww #like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks #which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here #and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff #its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options #so thats good. less to worry about #doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe #here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it #the hours are like. the same i work now. also good #sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him #but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway #i just gotta see if i get good vibes #rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me #oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore #lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt

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arnold-layne · 26 days

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im such a loser it hurts. i’ve gained a lot of weight over the last year and it makes me hate my body. my job sucks and pays so little i feel ashamed just thinking about it. my grades are bad and my writing is mediocre and devoid of meaning. why do i even exist

#hate hate hate hate myself #when did it all go wrong #though i guess it was never right in the first place #my whole life ive been pulling through by the skin of my teeth. and of course it doesnt look this way #with the impressive list of high ranking schools i studied in and good grades and aced exams #but it never brought me happiness. it was just something i had to do. was supposed to do because i was good enough #and i never enjoyed studying there. it has been a constant nightmare #and now im working the job which is not bad. but being there makes me feel like im actively dying #and yeah. the salary. it Sucks with a capital s #and all my attempts to find a better paying job so far resulted in nothing #i have a good life. i have a nice apartment with a short commute. a loving partner. enough money to live comfortably #so i feel like i shouldnt complain #but the horrors persist through it all #its just been a constant struggle. and whatever i do it doesnt go away #sorry. im upset and tired and my heas hurts #will probably delete this tomorrow #arnold’s laments

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agztsuma · 1 month

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#WE ARE SO BACK #i think they would be friends #st@n goes to p1p for help since hes in a good relationship and surely that means hes good at romance even though he sucks at everything eve #(wrong) (sucks at that too)#literally no one else is in a healthy relationship as far as hes aware #except tw33k and cr@ig but its embarrassing to ask them about romance stuff #so p1p agrees to help. unfortunately things go wrong every single step of the way 'comedy of errors' style #bc other people keep trying to get involved a la c@rtman k3nny etc #good news: the poem turns out pretty well #thumbs up #alright everyone enjoy turning this scenario around in your head if you like it. if you dont then enjoy not doing that #my art #also st@n looks weird just ignore it

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hacksawboy · 9 months

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honestly if the ending of saw 2004 didnt tell you that lawrence was fruity than maybe the mausoleum will. look at this shit. youre telling me this guy was so extra that he needed to make a pretty palace building just for one tiny miniscule trap. you expect me to believe hes straight? thats dedication of someone who is either autistic or has way too much gay audacity, or both. gay ass doctor. got his degree in doctor and dicksucker

#saw #saw 2004 #lawrence gordon #no but seriously im going insane over this trap rn #god its so fucking extra. larry you extra ass bitch #i dont know if hes the gayest apprentice though hoffman is like REALLY cunty #idk pvp. competition. who can kiss more men #oh yeah the trap itself is really cool. really good intro to the movie as well #tumblr lagging out my entire fucking laptop dude oh mygod #my laptop can run the most intensive shit but it cannot handle tumblr and spotify at once nice #fun fact for reading this far my grandpas name is actually lawrence and we call him larry and i think thats like REALLY funny

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obsidiannebula · 6 months

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Husband apparently found some posts of people complaining about trying to play Divinity: Original Sin 2 after enjoying BG3. And to that I say, just be glad you weren't playing with my husband, whose favorite battle strategies were "Laser Ray everything and I mean EVERYTHING in his path" and "use Internal Combustion on allies to turn them into walking time bombs if that maximizes the number of enemies hit, and also out of combat just for fun"

#dos2 #no but im not surprised some people who loved bg3 are bouncing off of it cause thats just how it goes #when a franchise or developer gets mainstream acclaim after already making a lot of games #a lot of people wont even bother to look at previous games #some will #and some will come to love them just as much as old fans #and others will bounce off it because its less polished or just plays a little different #to me bg3 felt a TON like dos2 except with d&d rules with which i was already quite familiar #to people going backward to dos2 it may not feel as similar #dos2 is also much more linear #also playing a custom character is even less interesting than making a tav is #in both games the origin characters are just FAR more interesting ways to experience the plot than customs #but idk it is actually kinda fun to make a custom tav. in dos2 i do not recommend doing anything but an origin run #ugh i cant stop rambling dos2 is so good you should really try it #if nothing else you need to discover the far cooler version of elves #uh. cw for cannibalism with them though

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prototypelq · 7 months

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I HAVE HALFWAY WROTE A DEFEAT LETTER BUT I HAVE MANAGED TO FINALLY BEAT M19 SOS VERGIL Y E S FINALLY I WILL FREAKIN CRY TEARS OF JOY HERE

#I DID IT I DID IT I DID JT #i ran around like a freakin headless chicken in the end and IT PAYED OFF #oh freakin hell #ahaha now only to repeat this with nero who i haven't touched in about a year now ahahahaha #...st least he has better options for dealing with the clone #game even awarded me with s though there was nowhere near s gameplay to be found #i am a bit overwhelmed now #i am now fully realising Exactly How Far Away from a 'hardcore' gamer i am #can you believe i started the year thinking 'if i go slow and casual at it i think i could take on harder dmc5 difficulties'#i feel ready to go back in time and theottle that idiot #this was...not fun but it also kind of was only because dmc5 gameplay is so good and dante is amazing to play as #and vergil is a great opponent he makes you take the situation seriously but you also learn to start goofing off its great #however i am NOT built for this i am so freakin not built for this boss grind i came through only because i like dmc so much #and i felt like if i could spend even a fraction of my fandom time in the actual game i could be much better at it #there is a number of games I overplayed to the point of starting to hate them and where the frustration overwrote the initial joy i felt #i felt like ive given myself enough time because i started to feel that frustration about dmc5 and i decidedly do NOT want that game #to end up like those i love it and want to enjoy it further so i was ready to concede defeat today #turns out i just had to be a better chicken thats good as nero is next and he is an arguably better for chicken tactic #maybe ill finish this sos run after all i would be glad if i could manage that #also im this close to 3 million and i want the dance taunt at least for dante)))#phew what an evening #mutuals my beloved thank you for constantly cheering me and reading this i can't find the words to express how much i cherish your support #and thank you tumblr for allowing me an entire book in the tags section hellsite my beloved

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crest-of-gautier · 6 months

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thinking very hard about eggstra work for chill season, i just have the strangest feeling that it'll have a charger + blaster in the line-up and that it'll coincide with reload's release just to laugh at me....

#lizz.txt #most of the eggstra works so far have been at the start of the month with the exception of the first (middle of the month)#i'm REALLY REALLY hoping that the eggstra work happens in the 26th-28th of january because PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE #I WANT TO PLAY RELOAD IN PEACE SO BAD LIKE.. i know reload is not going to grow legs and suddenly leave me but #i want to see mr. mochizuki so bad my beloved...#i mean ofc i can play eggstra work and reload simultaneously but sOBS WHAT IF I LIKE THE EGGSWORK LINEUP #bet that the charger is going to be squiffer specifically to spite me because squiffer and i are having a lil dance #but also i welcome any charger as long as it's not the goo tuber lolol i can't stand that thing sorry #i would be so happy if the blaster is something like s-blast but like as long as it's not clash blaster i'd be happy i think #if they decide to put the eggstra work on marooners bay i might limit my time with it but it might be good practice...#i do love slammin jammin junction though.. ohh... they should announce eggstra work.. for ME....#regardless of when eggstra work takes place i think i will have a lot of fun with both it and reload #im mostly just posting this bc it'd be funny if i get hit with the ball of prophecy teehee #every time i post about squiffer it's like squiffer goes out of its way to prove me wrong or spite me its hilarious to me

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kirbyddd · 1 year

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#school rumble #i could write an essay on it #actually i have #one of the most powerful stories ever written gah it drives me crazy that it comes in such a strange package #the story so powerful the animation team rejected the manga's bs to give the characters the finale they deserved #even though they were forced to retcon it in the final 2 episodes to push for another season #literally they just end the story on episode 19 and hard pivot to movie parody skits/vacation specials for the rest of the episodes #it's magical #until the episode 25 does the ''ohhh nooo they forgot the whole thing and put us right back where we started uh oh whoops''#''awww looks like we're gonna have to have another season''#literally #anyway if i ever start feeling emotions im probably going to start school rumble posting and never stop #schoolrum's so stupid you can only appreciate it emotionally #it's not like nichijou where theres still all this artistry and richness you can still engage with if youre cut off heartwise #i didnt even have emotions when i first watched it but it was still powerful enough to make a visceral impact #but at this point im just too far gone i need a bit of heartspace before i can have any chance of actually registering any of it again #<- finally caved and posted a schoolrum rant after like 5 and a half years on here #its the kind of series that lurks forgotten for years at a time #until one day it jumps out and grabs you and refuses to let go until you rewatch it again #best dub in history btw you didnt know english localization and voice acting could be this good #knocks the original japanese out of the park and truly ties everything together #nichijou japanese and school rumble english are the two best animation dubs of all time

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