#its also that each of these fics has a slightly different dynamic

[rabbitcrimes]

Have been rereading some of my favorite old wangxian fics and its actually fucking insane the extent to which the wangxian writers of this beautiful fandom INVENTED chemistry. Like jesus christ nothing compares, I'm so ensorcelled by the extent to which wangxian 1. think the other is interesting and fun 2. want each other 3. the TENSION of that

[kiss-me-cill-me]

i’m not sure if anon has already requested a character for that song but if ur up for it CAN WE HAVE THAT SONG WITH JONATHAN CRANE. also i just listened to that song for the first time in like 3 years and got major deja vu lmao 😭

also ps i love u and ur writing !!!

This is related to another ask from an anon, requesting a fic based off of Katy Perry's song, The One That Got Away. I am so sorry to both of you that it's taken me forever to write this, but thank you for your patience and support <3

Now We Pay The Price | Pt. 1

Pairing: Jonathan Crane x Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Summary: Life hasn't turned out exactly the way you wanted it to. Isolated and distraught as you watch time slip by while you sit, trapped in Arkham, your only wish is to recapture the way that things used to be.

Warnings: Angst, whump, sexual themes but no explicit smut, mental health themes, obsession, unhealthy relationship dynamics, mention of needles, mention of sedatives, unrequited love, established past romantic relationship, ambiguity

A/N: I hardly ever write angst, so please be gentle with me lol. But with the song inspo, I couldn't help but go in that direction. Slightly nervous to post this, but also happy that I've branched out from my comfort zone a bit!

***Please read the warnings before continuing. Minors DNI***

Lying on your stomach, feet in the air, you stretched the thin cotton sheets with your hand. Just enough to give them the tension you needed to glide a ballpoint pen over the fabric, scratching over and over the same mark to make it appear complete. This was far from the perfect medium for doodling - but sheets were what you had, and so they were what you used.

Even the pen was contraband. You knew you weren’t supposed to have it. What anyone thought you’d do with it… honestly, you had no idea. As if you could use a pen for anything other than what you were wrapped up in doing now - carefully and determinedly drawing hearts.

You stopped to rest your head for a moment on the pitifully thin pillow. Across the room, blank white concrete stared back at you. Day in, day out. Endless. The same room with the same walls.

Picking up the pen again, you placed the tip right in between the lobes of one of the many hearts. Scratch, scratch, scratch. A messy, zig-zagging line bisected the doodle. 

Broken.

You sighed, and started to color a different heart, filling it with blue ink that didn’t seem very inclined to stick to the bed sheets. It was slow going. The deep azure tint reminded you of deoxygenated blood, like you would see in a textbook diagram. Once the heart was completely filled, you moved dutifully on to the next.

A rustling at your door made you jump. Quickly, you stuffed the pen under your pillow, and turned up the sheets to hide your drawings. It wouldn’t be very good for you if anybody saw them.

You sat up, arranging your rumpled jumpsuit as neatly as you could. Leather straps hung off the sides of your bed, and you spared them a glance, bristling at the memories of having them lashed over your body. 

The metal door slid open slowly, until you could finally see…

Him. Your heart skipped a beat and a half as he stepped stiffly into the room, pulling the door shut behind him. He didn’t make a show of locking it, but it was still all too hard to miss the way his hand stopped short at the keyhole, before slipping into his pocket.

“Jonathan. I’m so glad-”

“Don’t call me that,” he bristled. “In here, we don’t know each other. Please. You always forget that.”

“...Dr. Crane,” you corrected yourself. 

His tone was so bitter that you could feel it in the very back of your throat, trying to claw its way down to your heart. You swallowed, trying to bite back the taste.

“I’m sorry. I was just happy to see you.” You smiled, pushing through your discomfort, for his sake.

Crane was clearly agitated. He took a few steps into the room, before turning around and facing the door. For one brief moment, you couldn’t see his face, until finally he turned back. His eyes were ice as they stared down at you.

“Do you have any idea how difficult you’ve been making things for me?” he spat. 

The accusation hurt, of course. Though you knew very well what he meant. You had been acting out, more than usual, as of late. And although it wasn’t without a purpose, you could see that it was wearing him thin. But… how else were you supposed to see each other? 

Arkham Asylum wasn’t exactly known for its model patients. It took a lot to get Dr. Crane’s attention.

“If we spent more time together, I wouldn’t be so difficult,” you replied, trying to keep your tone even.

Crane pinched the bridge of his nose, in that way that you were well acquainted with. He’d always had that habit. Back when you’d first met, you had loved making him get frustrated - just enough for a laugh. Some things never changed.

“You’re really backing me into a corner,” Crane sighed. “And I really wish you wouldn’t.”

“Let’s talk,” you offered, patting the bed. “That’s what you’re here for, right?”

Crane, reluctantly, sat down. You could sense his exhaustion in the way that he almost collapsed onto the bed, hands gripping the edge for support. You inched a bit closer, enough so that your knees touched briefly. Crane pulled away.

You wanted to reach out; put a hand on his shoulder, just like you’d done so many times before. He used to like it when you touched him. Sometimes, you liked to think that yours was the only gentle embrace that he had ever known. Maybe it was silly, but the thought of it always made you feel better.

Now, Crane’s eyes held nothing but menace as he glared over at you, as if you were a stain on the bed sheets. You wondered, vaguely, what had happened to change things.

So much. So much that had led you to this place, where you could be so close to him and yet felt more separated than ever.

“I hate to say it, Doc, but I think I’m going crazy in here,” you joked, trying to lighten the mood.

He barely had a reaction; a deep sigh the only hint that he’d heard what you said at all.

“And why do you think that is?” he asked, finally. 

The psychiatrist in him always came through to shove even more distance between you. Like a shield, put up just when you’d started to press through the fog of tension that hung heavy in the room. You swallowed your frustration at being kept out, and tried to answer him honestly.

“Because I barely get to see you,” you replied.

That was the wrong answer, and Crane’s shoulders swung abruptly to face you. 

He was scary like this. Almost scary, anyway. If you didn’t know him better, the look in his eyes would have sent you cowering. 

But you did know him, so well, and you remembered with sudden clarity that he’d always been bothered by feeling inadequate. You felt awful; you hadn’t meant to imply that he wasn’t doing enough.

“I’m sorry,” you soothed, before he could say anything. “I know that you’re busy, but-”

“But you continue to make yourself into a problem,” he hissed. “You know the only reason you’re in here instead of rotting away over at Blackgate is because of me, right?”

You nodded, too shocked by embarrassment to speak.

“Then for my sake, why don’t you act like it?”

“I’m…” You paused for a moment, sharp tears welling up in your eyes. “I’m just… lost without you,” you whispered. “You know that. I always told you I would be.”

The first tear fell, and you tried to hide your face.

“Don’t cry,” Crane sighed.

You could hear the harsh tinge of annoyance in his voice, and wished that it was anything else. Even his pity would have been better than knowing that your feelings were now nothing but inconvenience. You choked on your own throat, trying to stifle a sob.

“Please don’t cry,” he mumbled, slightly softer this time.

But now that you’d started, you couldn’t make yourself stop. If anything, the tears were only coming faster, and you felt yourself start to shrink into your own chest. The little black pit that always seemed to sit there, now swiftly opening up to swallow you.

With a deep and lingering exhale, Crane pulled you close. Suddenly, you were back where you both had been, so many years ago: one person’s cheek pressed into the other’s shoulder. Tears soaking into fabric that seemed to be stained with sadness. You let out a half-laugh, half-sob, and nestled into the crook of his neck.

“Remember when I used to do this for you?”

Crane stiffened slightly beside you.

“Things have changed since then,” he muttered. 

Your memory suddenly flashed back to the first time he had used the words “dysfunctional attachment” to describe you. That had hurt worse than anything else. Even more than all of the other occasions to come, when you’d heard those same words and worse fall from his lips. They could never truly compare to that first time, when your whole world had come crashing abruptly to the ground.

His arm dropped away from you, but you kept your face pressed into his shoulder.

“Things haven’t really changed,” you said. “I still belong to you.”

“You don’t.”

Two words that stung worse than hundreds of needles. You tried to pretend that the wind hadn’t been knocked out of you, as you replied.

“I do. And I will. Always.”

You looked up at him with wet eyes, a trace of the old life that you’d shared together still evident deep within your pupils. Even if only the memories of it lived inside of you, they still lived. They were still something.

“You need to move on,” Crane said flatly. “I know it’s not easy in here, with me…” He sighed. “I did what I could to protect you, but maybe it would have been better if I had just stayed out of your case. Blackgate would have at least given you distance.”

“I don’t want distance,” you whispered. “I just want to be with you.”

“You can’t be.”

Always so stubborn.

“I could be, if you’d help me get out.”

Confusion flashed across Crane’s face, quickly replaced with raw terror. 

“Escape Arkham?” His eyebrows furrowed, nearly knitting together. “You can’t be serious. Do you even realize what-?”

“I know, I know,” you hummed. “But just think - we could run away together, just like we always talked about.”

“Stop.”

“Don’t you remember? We promised-”

“Things. Change.” Crane’s voice almost shook as it thundered.

You brought a hand up to his face, gently coaxing until he looked at you.

“But they don’t have to,” you breathed. 

Your eyes drifted down to your wrist, to the space just below your thumb, and over the little tattoo that was etched into your skin. A heart - just like the ones littering your blanket, hidden carefully from Crane’s view.

“Remember when you gave me this?” you asked, holding up the tattoo in front of him.

“No; I remember you doing that to yourself.”

“At first, sure,” you chuckled. “But then, you helped me to finish it, ‘cause-”

“Because I didn’t want you to hurt yourself,” Crane muttered. “Just like you always seem to. Even now.”

You ignored his remark as your hands drifted down to collect one of his pale wrists, then lifted up to your face. The sleeve of his suit jacket slipped back, revealing the spot where once, long ago, you had given him the same mark. Just with a felt-tip pen; he would have never allowed you, even back then, to deface his own body in the same way you had yours. 

At the time, the impermanence of it hadn’t seemed to matter. You’d been too distracted; elated by the way that his and your matching blossoms of ink had pressed up against each other as you’d held hands. 

Now, you pressed a kiss to the blank space.

“Us against the world, Jonathan. Remember?”

Suddenly, his fingers pressed into your face, digging into the sides of your chin as he forced you back into focus.

“Don’t call me that,” he warned, once again. “How many times do I have to tell you? That life doesn’t exist in here.”

Your hands still dangled from his wrist as he continued to crush your jaw, not letting you look away. But this was the one part of him that you didn’t want to face. The part that didn’t need you anymore.

“Jonathan. You know the reason I’m in here, don’t you?”

“Are you asking if I know about your case? All of the crimes you committed?” he huffed. “Because yes - I was very involved in the trial, and it was nearly impossible to keep everyone else in the dark about…”

Us was the word that he couldn’t bring himself to say.

“That’s not what I mean,” you said. “I mean, do you know why I did those things?”

“Stop - please don’t tell me this again.”

“I did them for you,” you cried, your emotions getting the better of you again. “I do everything for you. So don’t you dare pretend you don’t need me, when really the only fucking reason you’re not stuck in here with me is because I always-”

“Stop.”

Crane’s hands tore away to grab you by the shoulders, wrenching you back to reality. Somehow he always managed to do that. To pull you straight out of the riptide, just as it was about to sweep you away.

“I never asked you to do what you did,” he hissed, articulating each word between clenched teeth.

“But I did it anyway,” you spat. “Because you always get into trouble. Because I told you I’d be there for you, no matter what. And because I always keep promises.”

“I don’t need you to anymore.” Crane’s hands squeezed you uncomfortably. “I don’t - I didn’t need you to ruin your life for me.”

“My life isn’t ruined if it’s for you.”

“Jesus Christ…”

Crane’s hand came up to rake through his hair, but before he could pull away fully, you caught him. Fingers clenched tight to the front of his suit, you pulled back and forced him to fall with you. Your back hit the bed, and Crane scrambled to catch himself before his full weight could slam into you. His body perched just above yours, caging you in his arms.

“This. You must remember this.” 

Your words were a whisper, barely loud enough to pass from your lips to his ear, despite how close he was. Your legs frantically came up to tug at his waist, trying to force him closer.

“This was the only time I felt alive,” you continued. “When we were like this. You remember.”

How could he not? You could still live in that moment, if you tried hard enough. As if it had been only yesterday. Both of you nervous and fumbling, nearly falling off of the bed as he hovered over you and you clung to him. 

The way that your bodies had melted together, almost desperately, in a way that had made you feel certain that neither one of you would let go. Letting go then had meant something worse than death; it meant a life that dragged on without you and him together. 

The stale echoes of passion still rang in your ears as you looked up, silently begging for him to rekindle the spark that had been there.

Crane’s expression was all but impossible to read. His face half-hidden beneath bangs that fell into his eyes. The two-second pause was like a lifetime as you awaited his answer.

“Of course I remember.”

Your heart soared, flying recklessly up.

“But that doesn’t mean it’s the same now.”

Broken. Smashed hard against the cold floor of your cell.

“I don’t believe that,” you breathed. “I can’t. I-”

“You need to,” he interrupted. “Because it’s the truth.”

You stayed stock still on the mattress as Crane briskly pushed himself up, disentangling himself from your limbs. He exhaled as he tugged at his jacket, trying to make himself presentable. 

You weren’t sure how he could find the nerve, after ripping your whole world apart.

“I’m upping the dose on your sedatives,” he informed you, still not meeting your gaze. “But I would prefer if you could find it within yourself to behave so that I don’t have to. I don’t like to do this, but-”

“Appearances…” Your voice drifted through the room. “Have to be kept up.”

He had told you as much, probably dozens of times. Just like he’d told you the old life between you no longer mattered, or even existed. If it ever had.

“I’m glad you understand,” he said shortly. 

His back was already turned, but you looked up to watch him drift out of the room, quickly pocketing the keys on his way out. 

Your head fell back, hard, but the sensation did nothing to ground you. You felt all too lost and adrift; trapped in a situation you had created. This wasn’t how things were supposed to end up.

Your hand drifted silently under the pillow, and wrapped around the barrel of the pen that was still hidden there. 

Suddenly, grotesque understanding of all the reasons why no one would want you to have such a thing flooded into your consciousness. The possibilities were many and bleak, but they all led back to the same conclusion. It was just like you had told Crane earlier.

If your life together didn’t exist in this place, then the only solution was to leave. 

You smiled. With resolve swirling dangerously inside your veins, you vowed to make sure that nothing like this ever happened again. You were going to be together, no matter what. 

There would be no getting away.

This fic now has a Part 2! Read it HERE

[angel-of-the-moons]

Cycles

Miguel O'Hara x Spider-Woman!Reader

TW/Content Warnings: NSFW, Smut, PIV Sex, Heat/Rut Cycles, Territorial, bit of Feral!Miguel, improper use of webs, pheromones, hormones, predator/prey dynamic if you squint, Unprotected Sex, Biting, Scratching, Bondage(?), Breeding Kink (c'mon we all know Miguel has one), established relationship, boyfriend/girlfriend, rough sex, oral sex, blowjob

MINORS DNI: I am not responsible for the content that you are about to read/consume, if you are upset by the themes in this fic, do not read it and scroll on by!

A/N: For context, you are a Spider-Woman who is one of (maybe the only) the few Spiders who have similar powers to Miguel. This is my first Miguel x Reader fic I've ever written, and my first fic ever posted here on Tumblr! (Header does not indicate reader's race)

Earth 7164. New York. Middle of summer.

The scent hit him the moment he tore through the portal. A heavy, sweet, earthy scent that flooded his whole body with a rush of adrenaline. Even the fat droplets of summer rain that fell from the dingy skyline did little to diminish that delicious, mouth watering scent.

Your scent.

His body was trembling as he rolled his shoulders in an attempt to rid himself of the tension that roped its way through his heavy muscles. His talons flexed as he gritted his teeth, each drag of his lungs pulling your scent into his body.

Miguel O'Hara was a man who would claim he had a good sense of control over his urges. He would also say he was a good boyfriend, attentive. A bit protective (some would say possessive).

But, he had been neglecting you as of late, his duties in the Spider Society and ensuring the safety of the universe had kept him away from you these past few weeks, and he almost lost track until he felt that familiar boiling of his blood, an itch that he knew could only be scratched by you.

And he knew that you would be experiencing a similar situation to him, almost parallel. In fact, he surmised you were probably the only Spider who had similar powers. The only difference was that whereas Miguel's powers were (sort of) intentional, and other Spiders were given to them after being bitten by radioactive spiders... You were born like this. They didn't know why. Hell, you didn't know why.

You had the venom (you could consciously control how much you pumped out in every bite), you had your own talons (although yours were a part of your nails, not in the pads of his fingers and toes), the wall crawling abilities, natural web-shooting...

And your cycle. At first having you around was torture on his senses when it would roll around. It would start with your scent changing; the dampness he picked up from between your legs making the blood rush straight to his dick. More often than he'd like he'd have to excuse himself to his private lab to jerk himself off until he felt some of his clarity return.

But it was always just a temporary relief. It only got worse when your breeding cycle and his rut cycle synced up, resulting in the two of you needing to almost be sedated and kept away from each other. (How Lyla kept that under wraps, Miguel never knew.)

And once your dynamic shifted and you started seeing each other, and eventually getting intimate... well. He was positive that Jess or Peter suspected what was up... Especially when he would disappear to your universe for a week or so, only to come back in a slightly better mood, small dark patches peeking out from beneath the collar of his suit, or you would be walking funny or unable to sit comfortably.

Right now, though, those thoughts were shoved to the back of his mind. The only thing he could think of was you. He could smell you, taste you in the air. This was your territory, and he... Could be considered an intruder, depending on your mood.

A male spider waltzing into a pissed off and horny female spider's web during breeding season.

Shaking his head, he took another deep drag of the air around him, the smell of the city mixing with your earthy, almost fruity tones. Your scent was faded slightly, but he could still use it to track you beneath the smog, garbage, and vehicle exhaust.

It's not like he didn't know where your apartment was... But he knew during this period of time you'd be restless, irritable, angry.

And mind-numbingly horny.

Miguel launched himself up, slinging his wrist out and using his glowing webs to propel himself in between the buildings and skyscrapers; leaping, flipping, arching through the sky in a red-and-blue blur.

He knew he was closing in on you. Your scent was all but strangling him, choking the air and what little sanity he was clinging to right out of him.

He should have known you were waiting.

Miguel was rammed into with the speed of a runaway train, the oxygen he so desperately needed ripped from his lungs as he tumbled with a roll onto the rooftop below, landing on all fours as his talons dug into the concrete and tar, leaving deep grooves as he slowed himself.

He lifted his gaze to see you land in front of him, chest heaving, body trembling.

"I have been waiting for you, for almost two weeks." You wheezed out.

"Hell of a way to greet me, querida." Miguel grunted, pulling himself to his feet.

Beneath your mask, he knew your eyes immediately dragged down to the hard bulge pressing against his suit, the hard outline of it sending a fresh throb of arousal straight to your core.

"The kick was a bit much." He said, trying to maintain a professional composure.

But his control was quickly slipping.

"Shut the fuck up."

The short rebuke didn't surprise him.

"Should have been here days ago." Miguel said, swallowing hard at the lump in his throat. "I know that. But--"

You cut him off by lunging at him, hurling your full weight onto him and pinning him down beneath you.

The heat between your legs felt like it melted through his suit, burning the skin beneath and causing a fever to spread.

You raised your fist to bring it down on his face but his reflexes allow him to catch it, gripping you like a steel vice. His other hand gripped your thigh as he planted his feet on the rooftop, rolling to pin you beneath him, his massive frame caging you in.

He squeezed your hips between his thighs, muscles tensing and twitching, breathing heavy. Your free hand reached out and clawed at him, tearing at his suit, leaving a rainbow of glitched out fabric behind, small droplets of blood rushing forth to drip down his tanned skin.

He gritted his teeth at the sensation, the sweet burn sending another wave of heat through his body that made his cock twitch.

You were past talking, past negotiating and being civil. You knew what you wanted, and you wanted it now.

You breathed heavily, gritting your teeth as Miguel gripped your thigh and forced your knee by your head, squeezing the plushest part as his face dragged down to the dark patch soaking through the fabric of your suit.

Using this new position, you kicked at him square in his chest and threw him off of you.

Before he could right himself, you rolled to your feet and jumped off the roof, shooting a web to sling you away from him.

Sure, you were horny and wanted to ride his cock til he couldn't see straight for a month. But he had been gone for weeks and you had been struggling with your own self-care, your measley silicone toys and vibrators barely able to compare with that womb-punching length that Miguel crammed into you, or his skillful and knowledgeable hands rubbing you until your eyes rolled back. But right now, you were pissed.

He wanted your pussy? He was going to have to work for it.

And if that meant playing your cat and mouse game for an hour, building the anticipation and making his cock leak; aching, desperate for a taste of you? So be it.

You played this game for a while, teasing him, getting within arms reach before yanking yourself away at the last possible second, thwarting his attempts to catch you.

Sometimes you liked to play with your food.

But all games come to an end. And this one had an abrupt ending when Miguel headed you off, tackling you to the roof of some abandoned warehouse, pinning you down on your belly, hands above your head.

"Bout fucking time I caught you. Tu pequeño bromista.." (You little tease.) He snarled, leaning down to your ear as his mask dissipated from his head, letting his wavy chocolate hair fall free, damp strands plastering themselves to his forehead.

His eyes were wild, red and glowing; pupils blown wide.

"Fuck you." You hiss, squirming under him.

"Oh, sucederá en, no te preocupes." (Oh, don't worry, it will happen.)

Miguel raised his free hand and brought it down hard on your ass, making you bite your lip to contain the mewl that tried to claw its way out of your throat.

"Look at you, now, hermosa." He sneered, his chest huffing in a small, humorless laugh. "I can fucking smell you from a mile off."

He reached down and cupped your mound, his fingers squishing slightly in the damp fabric of your suit; but once again you deny him a moan, instead biting into your lip, fangs threatening to puncture your lip.

You squirm an arm free and go to elbow him in the face, get him off of you. (Or under you.)

But he predicted that. That's what always got you going when you were in the middle of your cycle. You liked it rough.

His large hand completely encircled your elbow and forced your arm back down. Quickly, he used his glowing, laser-webs to secure your wrists together before he gripped the fabric of your suit with his talons, shredding it as he yanked you over so you were on your back.

Miguel smiled and yanked your mask off of your head, tossing it to the side before gripping your chin with his fingers, putting enough pressure to keep your eyes on his.

"Now... What should I do with you?" He said contemplatively, tapping your cheek with his index finger, making a show of thinking, his eyes dragging over the flushed features on your face, your tongue darting out to wet your dry lips.

"Ah. That's it." He grinned, his slightly askew teeth gleaming in the dark. He grips you by the front of your torn suit and pulls you to your knees as he stands.

He grips the crotch of his suit, and rips at it with his talons, the torn edges doing that kaleidoscopic glitch of colors as his cock springs free from its confines; large, twitching, angry red tip leaking in excitement.

You have to bite your tongue to keep in your little groan, your heart soaking through and dripping out through your suit.

"Hmh." He grunted, annoyed. "I'll loosen your fucking mouth. I've been keeping myself under control this whole time. But now? I'm not going to be gentle."

He gripped your hair, just shy of painful as he dragged your head to his crotch, the tip of his cock smearing his precum across your cheek.

"Chúpalo." (Suck it.)

You finally give in, your hands bound in your lap as you drag your tongue along a prominent vein in the velvety skin of his shaft, earning a deep, rumbling groan from him that you swore sent vibrations straight to your cunt, making you flutter around nothing.

You pull your head back and swirl your tongue around the tip, pulling and tugging as you lap at his slit, eagerly tasting every drop of pre he was giving you before diving in and taking the rest of his tip in your mouth, bobbing your head in a steady rhythm.

He massaged your scalp, his talons tickling the skin under your hair as he encouraged you to continue.

But you knew his calm demeanor wasn't going to last. It wasn't long before he grabbed at your hair with both hands, forcing you to choke down on his length, just shy of blocking off your airway as he fucked your face, the tension and stress from your cat and mouse game coming out as his tip kept shoving at your throat, your nose brushing the dark curly hairs at the base, his balls slapping your chin with every thrust; saliva pooling around his length as you keep your fangs pulled back as you let him use your throat like a fleshlight.

You close your jaw microscopically, fangs grazing the flesh.

"Míralo!" (Watch it!) He reprimanded, pulling your hair roughly to pull you back, his cock springing out of your lips with a wet pop, saliva connecting the tip with the soft pink muscle in your mouth like a weak bridge.

"Be a good girl." He snarled, pulling you back down on his length, barely letting you catch your breath before forcing you all the way down, tears welling up in your eyes and falling down your cheeks as you choked and gagged.

You knew exactly how to lick, suck, and tug at his cock to get the best reactions, the most delicious sounds from him.

You snuck a glance up at him, watching as he tipped his head back with a throaty groan as you greedily swallowed him down.

You moaned around him; his cock throbbed.

You felt him twitch, felt his hips sputter as he gritted his teeth.

"Fuckin' close." He snarled, looking down at you as your eyes connected with his feral ones.

You rocked your clothed cunt on your heel, trying desperately to get some friction to your aching clit. Miguel caught this motion, and held you down on his cock, choking you from not letting you ease off.

"You're not allowed to touch yourself." He said through gritted teeth, pulling your head back with a harsh tug, letting you get a gulp of air before voraciously fucking your mouth again. You obeyed his command, sitting in your slick that was dripping down and out of you, your folds puffy and neglected.

"Fuck..." He breathed heavily, he could feel that burn, that coil about to snap, his blood boiling and rushing straight to the tip of his dick as he felt his balls draw tight.

You moaned softly around him, gagging slightly before that rush of heat flooded your mouth as you worked your throat to swallow every last drop of the load he was feeding you.

Miguel panted, dragging some much needed air in his lungs as he let you pull back, hacking and coughing as your airways flooded with oxygen again. You grin maliciously and bite down on his thigh. No venom of course, but just enough to remind him you were there, earning you a sharp glare and a slap to the back of your head as you licked your lips.

He ran a hand through his hair, and it wasn't but a moment later before he yanked you to your feet, and shoved his tongue past your lips to overpower yours, tasting his cum lingering on your breath as his heavy rut-scent flooded your nose. You moaned shamelessly into the kiss, biting and tugging at each others lips until a burst of cooper flooded your mouth.

Miguel pulled away and licked at his bloody lip, before his mouth twisted into a snarl. He barreled into you, forcing you against a rooftop air-conditioning unit.

His hand reached down as he ripped at your suit, your breasts bouncing free.

Of course you weren't wearing a fucking bra. Probably no panties either. Because you were just that fucking horny and desperate.

He leaned down and took one of your pebbling nipples in his mouth, biting and sucking roughly as you push your head back against the unit, the metal bumping as you do, a strangled cry coming from you.

He pulled back, before delving back down and putting the same torture on your other tit. This time however he pulled back, biting down on the marshmallowy flesh, making you mewl out as his tongue laves over the mark he made.

"Miguel!" You snarl, thrashing your leg to kick at him, your frustration and neglect finally getting to you.

Miguel caught your flailing lim and forced it up, pinning it against the air-conditioning unit with another shot of his webs, before securing your already bound hands with more, above your head.

He pressed his forehead against yours, his hot and heavy breath ghosting over your sweaty skin, before his hands once again swiped and gripped at your cunt, pawing at it like a cat kneading a blanket.

Miguel lazily dragged two fingers torturously slow up your slit, before punching your clit hard through the fabric.

"You've been misbehaving... But I know you're just going to keep acting out until I give you what you want." Miguel sneered into your ear.

You whimpered, arching into his touch as he pulled away, making a frustrated sob at the lack of contact.

You nearly had the air punched out of your lungs when Miguel dropped to his knees, inhaling the scent of your soaked pussy like it was a drug he needed a hit of. He opened his mouth and dragged his tongue up the soaked fabric, before latching on and sucking.

Now this was new. Getting eaten out through the fabric of your clothes. There was too much contact but somehow not enough as he rutted his nose at your clit, sucking more at your folds drawing more of your slick through the fabric.

You thrashed against his webs, trying so hard to roll your hips and fuck his face, but with the way you were pinned, you were at his mercy, especially when he hoisted your free leg over his shoulder. He pressed two fingers against your covered hole as he furiously suckled your clit.

Your orgasm crashed into you so hard you couldn't even manage a scream, your mouth just hung open on a silent cry, eyes rolling back as a fresh gush of slick leaked through your suit.

Miguel smiled against you and tore your suit's crotch open, and you shivered as the humid, summer air made contact with your slick and creamy folds. You barely had a second to realize what was happening before Miguel plunged back in, his nose rutting your clit once more as I sucked at your cream, your slick covering his chin.

Miguel was the best sexual partner you ever had, he knew exactly how to eat you out to the point you lost your voice without even using it.

Just as your second orgasm was creeping up on you, he pulled his mouth away, wiping his face clean with the back of his hand and licking his chops like a dog eyeing a juicy stake.

His cock bobbed against his stomach as he stood, a steady stream of precum dribbling out of the tip and to the ground below.

He pulled your free leg to wrap around his waist as he slid the underside of his cock against your puffy cunt.

Miguel bit down on your shoulder, hard as he forced himself into you with one brutal thrust, pushing the air out of your lungs as he punched your guts through your womb with his cock, spearing you wide as he set a rapid, relentless pace for the both of you.

You uttered breathless pleas, praises, and incoherent mumblings with each thrust; the two of you grunting and moaning in each others ears like rabid animals, Miguel's cock slamming home into your pussy, squelching, dripping, the slap of skin and hips colliding filling the very atoms around you.

Your body screamed, cried, ached for him to fuck you, fill you up to the brim.

Miguel's tip crammed against your cervix in such a brutal way that you swore he bullied himself into your womb with every thrust. It was a blossoming pain that bled into pleasure, quickly bringing you back to the edge of your second orgasm that he had denied you.

"That's it, baby." Miguel snarled in your ear. "Ah... So tight for me. You want me?"

You nodded, whimpering and sobbing into his shoulder.

"Want me to fuck you til you can't walk for a week? Stretch you til all you can think of is my cock?" He said, his voice edging on a gleeful tone as he pants, turning his head and licking at the sweat on your neck.

"Want me to fucking breed you?"

You bite into his shoulder at that, whimpering as his suit glitches around your fangs and you lick at the blood welling up.

He hissed, and his pace became frantic, almost angry as he reaches down and pinches your clit like before, and your orgasm comes flooding through every blood vessel in your body as you jerk mindlessly against him, your pussy crushing down on him, milking him for everything he can give you.

He moans loudly in your ear, snapping his hips up into yours, balls slapping your ass as you cry out, sobs wracking your chest as your vision blurs and the tension rips out of you.

You whimper, and hiccup against him when he forces himself into you one last time, his tip kissing that oh so lovely spot inside as he pumps his heavy and sticky load deep inside your pussy, dripping out of you with each jagged thrust as he fucks you through his orgasm.

When Miguel's hips still, his hand pets at your hair as he kisses your jaw, nipping the skin there as he slices the webs holding your legs and hands up.

"Mmmmh. I needed that." Miguel sighed into your hair.

You grunted in response, your fists gripping at his suit as you pull him down for a hungry and toothy kiss.

"Take me home and fuck me." You demanded.

All Miguel could do was smile, and carry you back to your apartment. The real trick was keeping his cock sheathed inside of you as he swung from building to building, trying to avoid anybody who may have a camera phone...

But honestly? You didn't care.

However...

The two of you did care, a few weeks later.

When two little pink lines appeared on the stick in your hand.

"Fuck."

[t00thpasteface]

i very deeply respect your mashposting and even though im not as enthusiastic about hawkahy as you are i think the content you make for them us delightful and some of the best mashposting on this godforsaken website. that being said, i wanted to know ur takes on the hawkeye & trapper dynamic, and the hawkeye & bj dynamic. Not in a shippy way, just in the World of Hawkahy what role do trapper and bj play in their relationships with hawkeye :3 this because i love that one comic u did where hawkeye is spunchbop and bj is Patrick its one of my fave pieces of mash fanart lol

(⁠๑˘❥⁠��� ˘๑⁠) first off, THANK YOU!! i'm soooo crazy about hawkahy and i really enjoy contributing to my fellow shippers, but i'm glad my art can also still appeal to people who are less interested the ship itself.

second, VERY fun question!! i wish i had definitive answers for yall, but you know me... i love to go "well idk it could go either way" ^_^;; really, it depends on what kind of tone and theme i'm looking for. i don't really write heavier stuff (because i have so much fun writing funny fic) so that kind of narrows my options, but there's a lot of potential i'd love to explore— or see someone else explore, if they're so inclined!

TRAP:

generally the trapper reading i typically default to is that he and hawkeye have a pretty casual FWB thing going on. trapper considers hawkeye a very close friend and hooks up with him at an intersection of bicuriosity and deep platonic affection, but hawkeye catches baddddd feelings and ends up genuinely heartbroken to find out their thing was lopsided. in this case, hawkahy would happen only after trapper leaves— mulcahy has a tough time trying to get noticed before that point :( but at the same time, i don't think mulcahy would pounce at the first opportunity, because i don't think an immediate rebound would be good for hawkeye nor mulcahy... but it could happen for dramaaaaa...

another version of the hawkeye-trapper rapport that i love playing with in my fics is trapper being generally very supportive but nonetheless slightly grossed out. i think there's a lotttt of comedy potential with hawkeye thinking it's okay to fuck a priest but NOT a married woman, and meanwhile trapper is pro-infidelity but anti-priestfucking (for whatever reason), and they squabble and tease each other about it the whole time.

it's also funny to think about is trapper trying to figure out whether mulcahy now gets the "one of the bros" back-slapping beer-chugging dude treatment, or if instead he's now slotted into the "go easy on 'em trap" category that protects hawkeye's ladyfriends from hearing trapper's bawdiest jokes and comments when hawkeye brings them along as a plus-one to the swamp.

trapper seems like he's pretty likely to sniff out that hawkeye and mulcahy are seeing each other even if they try their damnedest to keep it secret. i like to think hawkeye trusts trapper enough that he would go ahead and divulge it it up front pretty soon after it's official. trapper could probably even pick up hawkeye's crush beforehand... maybe even before hawkeye knows about it!

i don't see trapper as being too jealous of hawkeye spending a lot of time with mulcahy, even if it means hawkeye is now exclusive and not sleeping with trapper anymore. if anything i think he'd be pretty stoked that he's got one less guy to compete with for the nurses' attention. pretty sweet deal as far as he's concerned.

i do think there'd be some tricky navigating between how hawkeye acts with trapper and the STARK difference with how he acts around mulcahy, which you can see clear as day in the s1 finale, where hawkeye gets soooo soft and careful while talking to mulcahy. i don't think either one is disingenuous; i think hawkeye contains multitudes. hawkeye's not the type to fake sincerity. and to that end, i really don't think hawkahy should hinge on hawkeye totally giving up all the cruder parts of his personality (especially since mulcahy is really no saint either), so it could be pretty interesting to see that manifest in whether/how he's still maintaining a close friendship with trapper now that he's been seeing mulcahy regularly and trying to make a good impression.

BEEJ:

the direction bj goes in depends on whether hawkahy are already an item before he gets there. he does form that almost instantaneous trauma-bond with hawkeye on his first day, but i think if hawkeye admitted "yeah by the way the chaplain is my boyfriend" as soon it seemed safe, bj would be able to take it in stride as another weird little quirk of the mash he has to get used to. he's too hung up on dealing with all the gore to worry about who's banging who.

by contrast, i think he could potentially get pretty upset/jealous if hawkeye and mulcahy paired up a little while later. i can see him feeling really betrayed, like, "what do you normally do when i'm gone?" "wait for you to get back!!"

if bj still doesn't feel like he's really enmeshed himself into the unit— which i think on some level, he never wants to, because he's banking on dropping everything like a hot potato the second he can— then i can totally picture him just feeling completely lost and isolated when hawkeye is suddenly forgoing their boys-nite boozathons in favor of getting some priest pipe. like, at least trapper could always go find his own cuddle buddy to pass the time and had nurses lining up to volunteer; bj has basically nobody and doesn't seem inclined nor equipped to fix that. hawkeye is his liason to the rest of the camp, and bj isn't so great with people without having hawkeye there to help as both teleprompter and safety net.

basically i think bj wants to keep hawkeye within a very specific arm's-length radius— not too close, but not too far either, and hawkeye having so much private time with someone else could really get under his skin.

you could also have bj think the priestfucking is gross/bad on sheer principle like trapper did, even without the jealousy angle, and it'd probably hold a little more water coming from bj than trapper. however, it'd be funny if he's insisting it's definitely not a jealousy thing and he's being fully objective about it, but you can totally tell he's just jealous. x)

i admit i kinda love seeing bj get tormented, because he's got such obvious buttons to press and yet sternly insists that they don't even exist, similar to houlihan and frank. like, you can't just set that up and not expect me to rub my hands together and SLAM those buttons as hard as i can. ergo, bj getting jealous about hawkahy is supremely funny to me. i'm not too proud to admit that!

[evilminji]

OKAY. *slams open door in manic about to have opinions*

MAYBE i am binging so, SO much unhinged bnha fics? Have already sent this to all my mutual and is not ENOUGH? But everyone is focused on these BABIES and not the MOST unhinged of them all? You COWARDS!!!

That's RIGHT! Ya girl has been hitting the "yandere/obsessive/possessive" behavior tag on Ao3 and is REFUSING TO BE NORMAL ABOUT IT! I have THOUGHTS DAMN IT! AaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA-!!! *Flips table*

Why the FUCK everyone focusing on BABIES?

I get it, don't yuck someone else's yum. To each their own. I respect that. But ALSO? What lvl of unhinged could they POSSIBLY HAVE? They are FIVE. SMOOTH FACED TODDLER BABY BOYS! A CHILD!

Like? Listen...

You know how Quirks are basicly evolutionary advantages? Random protections that are hit or miss? I have touched on this before in my naruto WIP (that i never posted but shush), but there must exsist a theoretical opposite of killing intent.

A sort of loving/peaceful intent if you will. A SAFETY intent. Or, for the purposes of THIS scenario and slightly to the left of that, a "love me" field. Which? Unlike what the perverse might believe or suggest? Just makes the target... love you.

Not sexually desire.

Love. Care about. Emotional connection.

And, yeah, maybe i've just been reading too many fics where shigiraki do what shigiraki does, and he is his unhinged obsessed lil self. Too many unhinged yandere fics where i darkly mutter "you are forgetting their Core Character Motivatioooooons! Just write an OC!"

Because you can twist a characters personality WITHOUT forgetting who they ARE. Thats what makes it INTERESTING, after all. Seeing how it could go so very, very wrong. How a good emotion, taken too extreme, can corrupt! N it's not just "oh that means violence n cursing right? Immediately jumping to cruelty?"

Its the obsession. The need to consume. The manipulation and care in which they try and maintain the illusion. It isn't one crack and "whelp, fuck it I guess!". Every character is different! Breaks under the strain of 1000% loving someone, DIFFERENT. And it brings up FASCINATING dynamics n potential quirk reactions?

Cause a emotional quirk WILL work. Even on people who supposed "dont have any" emotions? Because thats not how the human body FUNCTIONS. They HAVE all the necessary components. They just have a disorder. The Quirk would be forcing their body to MIMIC "feel-Y.exe" and their body would go with that. How THEY would process that data? What would it FEEL like to THEM? Whole different story.

But they WOULD feel "love" in what ever capacity THEY understand it.

You don't want to hurt your BEST FRIEND do you? You love them. Your BELOVED SISTER? This CUTE CHILD? She seems so NICE. Or maybe it's a precious and to be protected PET? She doesn't know what she'll get, "love" is nebulous and multifaceted. Could be platonic, familial, romantic. The love of a comrade. But it's never failed BEFORE. (Not, that I imagine, she being a well adjusted young lady, would feel morally comfortable USING said quirk in such times of peace. On anybody.)

We're all friend here, right? No need to be aggressive! Hurt anybody! Let's all put our weapons down, yeah?

But! This runs into a PROBLEM. The fuckin Yandere. Your bog standard sociopath. Those to whom this love field/targeting/ray/what-have-you is either so completely foreign too or NOTICEABLE as to be ineffective. Or to whom "love" is AGGRESSIVE.

Who's concept of "love" would actually make the problem WORSE.

I bring this up? Because I am FACINATED by the concept of AfO falling in love.

He... he would be COMPLETELY unhinged about it. The very act would unlock LAYERS to his deeply fucked up, highly obsessive, mind games and bank vaults, squirrel brain.

But I don't think he'd ever WILLINGLY fall in love. Or even be capable. Might be a brain chemistry thing, honesty. But the very reason his CLINGS to his his brothers quirk? Is because his brother was HIS. They were connected. It was... the closest thing he understood to love. And he is unhinged even to this day about it.

EIGHT GENERATIONS OF USERS LATER.

So like? If he spooked some poor soul? With a "love me" quirk? And she, in terror, tried to blast this Scary Supervillian into Not Hurting Her? She would have NO WAY of knowing that she just made a HUGE fucking mistake. Like... conceivably, the WORST mistake.

Because all it would take? Is her NOT instantly dying. No reflexive "how dare you use your Quirk on me". And? The altered brain chemistry starts to kick in. He's suddenly getting?? All these NICE happy brain chemicals that his body has been fuckin STARVED off? Fascinating new sensations? Elevated mood?

It's fake. He KNOWS it's fake. :) But that doesn't mean he won't murder her if she STOPS :)

Looooove yoooou~♡

Does it shift in to real, deeply deranged, love? Impossible to tell. Someone for the LOVE OF GOD call All Might. But?? He's just such an unhinged MESS it's fascinating to explore how emotional quirks would even react to him? Fascinating to think about how he would REACT if he had a SECOND "little brother" scenario. A person he CARED about. But this time... WORSE because it was in a way he could somewhat comprehend AND he had FAR more power then before.

Would it derail everything? Would he be able to focus on his Machiavellian plans while being able to fold them into them? Would he fuckin CONSUME THEM like he did Tomura? Ultimate form of love, after all, to become HIM.

How long could she, the hypothetical Quirk holder, keep that Quirk ACTIVE? Fear is a powerful motivator.

Just?? Why are there not more fics about the Ultimate Creep, BEING CREEPY AND UNHINGED??? He's VERY GOOD AT IT. Has had a LOT OF PRACTICE. LET AfO be deeply insane, 2XXX!

[suffarustuffaru]

i need to share my very horrible idea to combine the reinhard/julius/otto/subaru boy drama into one julius-centric fic

ok so a little while ago ive made all kinds of ottojuli and reinjuli posts and while i havent finished all my major julisuba posts Yet i am quite fond of julisuba also and i think itd be incredibly funny if you just dumped all of these ships into one story. just go ALL IN on that boy drama!!!! go big or go home amirite!!!! the worlds WORST love trapezoid youve ever seen!!!!

this post is just me rambling fic ideas bc i sadly dont have time for Every Fic Idea and also i just. i just think itd be funny putting multiple ships with the same person in them into one fic. on a serious level its like mimicking real life relationships where sometimes people come and go and you have different dynamics with each person!! on another level i just think this is also very funny so!! here we go. under the cut:

anyway so my idea for this is that you know, julius of course meets reinhard when hes ten and reinhard is eight and then it alters julius's brain chemistry. at first he's in complete awe of reinhard. and then over time the shame starts setting in. that julius isnt as strong as reinhard. and the jealousy sets in a bit too, so julius's got this chip in his shoulder trying to carry his family's legacy and trying to carry the weight of knighthood to be as perfect as possible. to be as close to reinhard as he can. they meet again in their teens and julius shows reinhard the ropes of like basic knight stuff bc reinhard just joined the knights. and of course reinjuli become friends but julius has spent his whole life quietly watching reinhard from afar and now julius still has that distance with reinhard even as theyre supposedly friends now. reinhard is a God, you know? his powers and his leash from the kingdom and his family keep him distant and the two of them are ignoring that. classic homoerotic "do i want him or want to be him" friendship where both of you are too scared to get any closer for various reasons with a Twist (reinhard's very real monster complex that keeps getting validated bc Everyone Around Him thinks hes a monster).

anyway but then julius remembers that you know, shit between reinhard and him wont work out for many reasons, like reinhards family deciding to torment julius at various points in his life (heinkel, whos julius's boss, and reid, who went from julius's childhood idol to. you know.), and also reinhard needs to have kids because hes the sword saint, and also homophobia exists in rezero. and also even if those werent all obstacles julius still has his Complexes connected to reinhard and they got that distance between them so. no go. (repression gets in the way of relationships :((( )

also quick side note is that ex 4 happens and julius reinhard ferris go to vollachia and julius interrupts a meeting with vincent vollachia himself to go "I UNDERSTOOD THAT LITERARY REFERENCE YOU JUST MADE. THATS A REALLY GOOD REFERENCE I LIKED IT A LOT" bc hes a massive nerd and ig this is slightly-more-of-a-disaster-gay julius au so julius is like ............................. vincent was kinda cool for that.

AND THEN SUBARU CRASHES INTO JULIUS'S LIFE and julius is like seeing this guy who's also got a chip in his shoulder and then he insults the knights and says the knights are all depending on their dads (nepotism) and julius is like .......the chip in my shoulder was bad enough and also youre kinda like me fr. and you are clearly a fucking misguided kid so now i have to save your ass. i cant NOT save your ass. and reinhards like "julius and subaru nooo you dont have to do this :((((" and julius cant admit atm that hes also doing this to save subarus life so julius is just like "he disrespected the knights >:(((("

but yes we all know what happened there. julius saves subarus life. julius has to slice subarus throat in that one failed loop. they become friends across several timelines. they also homoerotically share souls, you know, typical bromance things, rivals to lovers except subarus the one going YOURE MY RIVAL and julius is like he is SUCH an upstart. hes really grown on me like a fungus but thats the appeal. and julius i think sees subaru as like a kindred spirit (or at least thats how i interpret julisuba) except subaru is like way more freer than julius is. same desire to prove yourself but subarus not restraining himself constantly like julius. its sometimes to the point of recklessness and general stupidity and what have you, but his boldness and bravery and determination and heart really is admirable.........................

yeah so anyway julius falls for ANOTHER guy again, you know how it is sometimes. the heart wants what it wants and julius is cursed to always have the worst meetings with his closest friends. and of course julius gets heartbroken bc wtf i have to kill my new friend :((( noo!!!! but in the finished loop its like. oh subaru...... hes really improved himself. hes grown so much already. hes kind of. inspirational really. idk how he does it. except subarus you know got that Mystery to him the same way reinhard does (theyre traumatized and Cant Take About It Normally so they just randomly lore drop what they can) and also subarus SUPER into emilia. and julius is like .................... well. subarus taken. haha. and reinhards. taken. fuck me. fuck. and like somethings going on with subaru and rem and emilia right. fuck. and subarus got his whole toxic masculinity / gender crisis..... and he doesnt know hes Bisexual yet...... man. what a loss for julius amirite haha.

and also subarus busy after arc 3........... and julius has no idea whats happening there but that seems Real serious :(( and julius's got other things to attend to so he hopes subaru reaches out to him eventually..... or that they cross paths again since subarus in the emilia camp and julius is in ana camp (and of course reinhard is in felt camp and like that was a whole debacle bc wtf. reinhard, u do know thatd be a big deal to our mutual friend felix?). so. julius pines from afar ONCE AGAIN HAHA.

(also of course subarus still attracted to reinhard here. its um. well julisuba can bond now over pining over reinhard but thats for later also!!)

anyway of course during arc 3 julius briefly runs into some gray haired merchant twink thats being dragged around by subaru bc ana camp rescued this guy from a cave somewhere??? and this new guy and subaru made a deal or whatever so he was just helping out in the background of the fight against sloth??

and whaddya know................ julius goes to drink at a bar bc you know he probably tastes wine for fun in his free time (hes definitely Fond of wine anyway iirc) and now hes Sad over the Ones That Got Away so. bar it is. and gray haired merchant twink is there!! no way. they start talking a bit casually while drinking you know and julius's taste is Unfortunately either the graceful ones (anastasia, because julius has great taste in women) or the cringe fail ones (all the twinks - except for felix - that julius keeps having the wildest first meetings with, because julius has slightly shit taste in men) so julius is like huh this otto guys kinda funny lol. endearing in a weird way!! and -

oops they both end up being a little. they make a little bit of a move on each other. bc they were drinking and got a Bit tipsy. ottos Also not over the one that got away (subaru) (again) and hey. the finest knight truly is. Fine. objectively fine. totally. so you know. things get a little out of hand, maybe they do a bit of cringe fail flirting hidden underneath five million layers of repression and the Horrors of Being Known but ultimately they both embarrass themselves somehow (read: how far they went with each other while under the influence is up to you) and agree to Never Speak of This Again bc oopsies they were both technically each other's first time being Straightforwardly Not Straight with another man. oops. anyway julius has to go back to his camp and otto fucking bolts but he bolts right into subaru and gets his ass dragged into sanctuary drama.

julius is totally not a little bit envious about that.................... about otto getting to accompany subaru to sanctuary... but dont worry julius!! youll get to make up for it later!! bc eventually arc 5 stuff happens. and julius is Glad to see reinhard and subaru again. even with all the Baggage. and subaru is of course Weird about julius but eventually subaru reassures julius after they both confide in each other about the astrea drama (theyre honorary astreas via being dragged into the astrea family mess). and subarus reassuring to julius in a whole new way okay. subaru, whos unrestrained and incapable of being on the down low about anything, and julius, whos always holding himself back with a gazillion layers of repression, starts learning to let go a bit...

but also juliotto meet again. its terribly awkward and they both agreed to never speak of their awkward encounters again. subaru is going ??? and reinhard is clueless. otto then also goes to save reinhard and felt from heinkel trying to take felt hostage, which was also terribly awkward but reinhard and felt are grateful about it (but lbr if reinhard and otto knew each other deeper reinhard would maybe be a little. Apprehensive. around otto while otto would be sympathetic with reinhard bc hes like male emilia). but then while otto manages not to get erased by gluttony....... julius gets erased. of course. which you know results in being forgotten by reinhard in julius's THIRD first meeting ever with reinhard. and subarus the only one who remembers him of course.

then arc 6 happens :,))))) and julius of course has to confront his ideas of knighthood, his identity, his self esteem, and who he is outside of His Name. and also julius gets his ass beat by reid. his childhood idol. who reinhard KNEW was a shitty person but never ever told julius (whether this is because reinhard wanted to spare julius's hero worship or because reinhard never got the chance to tell julius is hard to say lajdsf). but julius does get to triumphantly win in the end!! grow as a person!!! learn to undo a bit of that repression and not hold himself to impossible standards all the time!! hes growing still!!! hes finally solidified his friendships with people like subaru and emilia!! hes remaking his relationship with anastasia!! hes asserted himself, hes planning on going to meet reinhard again one day and duel him!! things are looking up even if its still bittersweet that he doesnt have his name back yet!! does this mean?? perhaps?? a HAPPY ENDING?? julius can have the two men (reinhard and subaru) he admires the most in his life?????? as friends???? or as boyfriends?????? slowburn mutual pining????????????????????????????????????????

and then comes. arc 8 otto. that piece of shit.

julius is very much someone who has to grapple with the weight of the expectations that people throw at him. and also reinhard is someone who May envy julius a bit, but there's also you know, joshua and subaru with the Explicit Envy and (past) resentment because theyre placing heavy expectations on julius!! theyre pointing blame at julius!! julius is trying to find himself outside of stuff like that, especially after arc 6, but he's still got stuff to work on you know? he still has duties to fulfill!! loyalty that he has to act on bc hes gotta help subaru and co in arc 8!! and then in comes otto.

otto is also someone with expectation placed on him, but its Different. ottos mostly a nobody and when hes Not a nobody, his reputation tends to be Derogatory. hes a menace. hes a bad luck charm. hes grappling with the fact that he has to keep being left behind - post-arc 5 bc he was injured, but also repeatedly during arcs 7 and 8 because hes too physically weak to be on the same playing field as emilia or garfiel or subaru on the battlefield. he feels Useless after placing his identity on the expectation that hes Dependable and Useful.

julius is a bit more on even ground with otto now that julius is. also mostly a nobody bc his name is still gone. and also julius had to deal with having that part of his identity crushed. julius tried to be useful over and over in arc 6 only to get his ass repeatedly curb stomped by reid in the beginning. he was a nobody. he wasnt dependable anymore. and also otto is that one guy he had a Passing Fling with over having The Ones Who Got Away and julius was still vaguely hopeful about maybe being pals at least but ottos brushed him off a bit since arc 5. theyre like each others secrets you know? and now otto doesnt know that shit - julius is the only one who Knows - and otto also hates julius's fucking guts now. over SUBARU. and julius has been through this whole rodeo clown circus with arc 3 subaru so this is an absolutely terrible ride through memory lane.

and this is julius's THIRD twink that hates him for terribly unfair reasons. julius is very tired and a bit heartbroken in this au trying to pretend it doesnt bother him. on one level it doesnt. bc ottos pathetic and clearly Overcompensating for Something. on another level it kinda does bc julius had a Thing going with otto. and otto is the complete opposite of julius. like hes different from the other guys julius has liked.

julisuba is about complimentary opposites - they appear Extremely Different at first glance but theyre very similar. theyre people who try to look and act bigger than they are, people who keep reaching to be The Best, to be Perfect, because theyre overcompensating. theyre worried their entire identity is only built off of trying to be bigger than the shadow that other people in their lives (like their families) cast. but they cant reach perfection. and julius is like subaru but if subaru tried to really make himself "refined" - if he tried to stop putting his heart on his sleeve all the time. reinsuba are very similar too. theyre very refined knights who try to keep themselves in check at all times while the weight of the world is on their shoulders. they cant have a hair out of place. except julius is like the "smaller" version of reinhard. julius is less powerful. its like comparing a human and a "god" - reinhard, whos untouchable. but its a double edged sword, because julius gets to be a normal person, because half the expectation placed on him is also purely from himself, while reinhard isnt. reinhard isnt Free. hes on a leash by the kingdom and his family. julius even gets his kind of "celebrity" status stolen from him via the loss of his name. hes truly kind of Normal now - julius is like if reinhard didnt have his crazy abilities and had a little more of a chance to be free.

otto? yeah otto is. very very far from all of that. hes so obviously imperfect that most of his reputation, when its brought up, is just him being known as a mess who's caused various forms of chaos everywhere he goes. either that or hes just. There. Invisible. very very average. and otto is someone who wants a nice comfortable life, someone who wants to fit in - julius and subaru arent Exactly like that, and while reinhard also wants to be normal, ottos the one who has more of an opportunity. but he doesnt. because otto Dooms Himself by being recklessly cutthroat. otto is like if subaru was just. More of an asshole, so ottojuli would just be a rather Extreme Challenge for julius to have to deal with HAH. and normally otto is someone who repays how people treat him - a very "you treat me like this, i'll treat you the same way in turn" kind of deal, except ottos developed a vendetta against julius and its basically like if subaru never let go of his arc 3 julius vendetta.

yes so anyway. etc etc stuff probably happens but i ran out of ideas lajdlfjasdf i just think combining ALL the boy drama and recontextualizing + adding to canon would be. batshit crazy. and terribly entertaining. im so sorry julius but i want to see you crack a bit under the pressure. reinjuli as a ship is like tragic gay yearning that never goes anywhere past being friends with quiet homoerotic tension, then julisuba is. you know. extreme rivals to lovers, starts out Rough but then ends up being super super sweet and theyre Trying their best underneath the self esteem issues. and then ottojuli is. toxic yaoi at its finest (pun intended). you get Every flavor of mlm possible!!

ok so you may be asking "ok what would you even name this fic then" and to that i say that this would be called To All the Boys I've Loved Before.

anyway i really wanna write this idea someday ill inform you guys (if youre reading this and are Interested) if it ever happens :< so. in conclusion this is just julius the entire time throughout all of these events:

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 41

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

Won't you lie with me a while? by notverystraight

When their laughter finally died down, their eyes found each other, the two falling into an intimate kind of quietness. Keith realised their bodies were now so close that his bangs tickled Lance’s forehead, the warmth of their skin mingling, Lance’s every exhale grazing his lips. If he tilted his head ever so slightly, their noses would brush. Lance’s gaze was magnetic. All of a sudden, the air felt much heavier than it had been a minute ago. Keith was hyper aware of the arm curled around his middle, fingers ghosting beneath his shirt. The slow, burning heat that was beginning to pool in his gut was mirrored in Lance’s eyes as they roamed over Keith’s face, his neck, his chest, pausing where his fingers lay against the sliver of exposed skin at his waist. Keith’s breath hitched. - Or, Lance and Keith hang out in Lance’s bedroom. That’s it, that’s the fic.

i LOVE this one. all the little details are so cute. y'all know @mothmanavenue 's recent post with keith and lance's room?? this is like an older fic version of that, almost. the percy jackson poster in lance's room, the bed, the way they're squished together on it.....it's just so sweet and transitory i'm in love

2. In (Almost) Every Reality by notverystraight

When Lance finds himself face to face with alternate universe versions of himself and all his friends, he’s excited to talk to them – who wouldn’t want to see just how different their life could have turned out? However, that feeling begins to sour when Lance notices that, out of all his alternate selves, he seems to have the most underwhelming life. And another unexpected thing. He and Keith seem to be a lot more, um… friendly with each other in the other realities…

early season dynamics when lance is still like fully insisting on the rivalry thing while also being super attracted to keith and mad about it, and then finding out that he and keith are literally soulmates?? like in love in every reality?? ENDLESSLY funny. also lance being a big nerdy fic reader is so so real

3. Speak in Tongues by laidellennt

Lance learns Altean from Coran. Keith's kind of weird about it.

keith getting like lowkey horny when lance speaks different languages is SO real and SO funny 💀💀 like of course this whipped dumbass is just like so hugely attracted to lance in all his strange awkward competency and of course he has no idea how to handle it. of course lance is offended by it. i love early season dynamics

4. 5 things Lance was surprisingly good at +1 thing that should be obvious by orphan_account

5 things Lance was surprisingly good at +1 thing that should be obvious, it's pretty self-explanatory.

i love this one bc its just a way to headcanon lance as being good at random stuff. like yes obviously he can throw knives. of course he can bake. duh he can sing. the world would be a better brighter place if we just talked all the time about how good lance is. also side note but do any of yall remember when clicking the orphan account link on ao3 would bring you to a massive account that had archived every fic to every be abandoned instead of an error page?? bc i do lol

5. Would You Like A Sticker? by delaneym_15

Lance has been working hard these past few weeks. Getting the newly set up infirmary being one of his most pressing concerns. Gone are the days of being put in a healing pod for every little injury. Of course that means someone has to run it, and what better person than the paladin who has been all but officially apprenticing under Coran since the Blue lion first brought him to the castle. If only the rest of the paladins would take him seriously.

i fucking love the medic lance tag. well and truly it is the gift that never ever ever stops giving. he is just so well suited for it!! i love him so!! let him be competent and judgmental and pretty as he does it!! like!!!

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y��all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[kroosluvr]

akira/sumire dynamic is kind of obvious based on the game, and shuake’s is very much discussed, but what is the goro/sumire dynamic like. what’s their specific relationship with each other? how do they end up falling for one another? i don’t see a lot with just the two of them from you and i wanna know what you think :oD (maybe you answered something like this before i only just started following recently LMAO)

OMGGG HII i have so mujch. So much. honestly none of my royaltrio stuff is very explicityl romantic yet but i have LOTS of comics centering them!!!! (bc like u said theyre the least explored so theyre easy to write abt FKHDKJAKSHA)

notable comics: saferoom / the clock is ticking / bentoverse (3 parts!)

specifically, goro sees a bit of himself in sumire - his bitterness, his anger, his envy, his loneliness, and offers her (in his own way) a shoulder to lean on. of course goro is very prickly and very distant himself but he's trying to change himself for the better (and akira knows he can!!!) and also forgive himself for the things hes done and the things thats happened to him in the past that were out of his control...

i think he sees her as strong, too: at first ofc he sees her as kinda weak kinda pathetic but she proves herself a million times over in 3rd sem so his respect for her only grows. goro isnt ermmmm a team player so its really nice to see him work with someone without the fated rival strings attached ehehehehe like rough-around-the-edges trygn to support her but hes kinda bad at it bc hes never done this shit before

meanwhile sumire sees him as dependable, honest (uh. to an extent. mostly bc she only knows him in 3rd sem LMAO), strong (physically mentally emotionally - from what she can see from the outside). my fav thing abt violetcrow is that she has no clue about his past (goro isn't keen on telling her anytime soon, and akira also respects that i think?) so she takes him at face value, which he's also grateful for. he just Exists in sumire's eyes, no strings attached and that... is a really nice feeling.

tldr i think they in particular are important to each other to grow past their painful histories, and especially since both of them are still navigating friendship, identity, and the idea of love (either platonic or romantic) that really stands out to me. also i like slowburn of any sort.

LASTLY i wnted to say im a big sh/us/umi fan but the way i particularly enjoy them differs frm canon bites fist. i like them in a particularly doomed evil "this love won't last" "we get destroyed under the weight of our own love" kind of way. if that is interesting to u.. i offer my fic (10.5k words 2 oneshots but the second one is optional. KSDHFJKSD) for s/hua/ke i lauv them theyre super fascinatign to me... but i am not the smartest biggest brain sh/uakeo/logist JKASDHKJA aksm and shsm have very little exploratory content so i usually focus on that heheh...

i just remembered i have slightly more notes here but i feel like im not that eloquent DKJSHKSJF

[dipplinduo]

I read the "big reveal" and it was AMAZING, I was kind of wondering about if you were going to pull the trigger you did, and there was DELIVERY. One time you talked about scrapped content for Sweet and Sour Dipplins. Was there any related to the "big reveal?" :3

(Context: Sweet & Sour Dipplins, Chapter 21)

NOTE: I am withholding on answering asks/talking freely about the big reveal for a bit so people have time to read it without being spoiled. I am answering this ask without any obvious references to the spoiler.

So the big reveal was always locked in to happen the way it did scene & action-wise (I had a lot of time to visualize the moment xD). There's been some changes to the emotional aspects of it, as well as other parts of the story, though, so I'll just answer specifically and generally:

Kieran confiding to Carmine & Juliana about the curse in the beach episode chapters was entirely unplanned, and it resulted in a major tone shift with a ton of characterizations, dynamics, and plot points. The original plan was to have Juliana and the others discover that Kieran has been cursed as their own "big reveal" (as Kieran would never confide, and they would simply just be studying his behaviors), which later would've fed into the breakdown of the actual big reveal being triggered in itself. Given that I had the mechanisms of the curse pre-planned, it just required me to take a slightly different approach with how some things were ultimately written. The reveal itself & its aftermath in Chapter 22 are unchanged.

The scene between Juliana & Kieran in Chapter 21 was actually meant to be much more angsty with a LOT more relational repercussions. But I ultimately reframed the idea to what went down instead because I personally found it to be a disservice to Kieran's character progression and the progression of their relationship in itself (which are both at different points than I originally envisioned for this part in the story).

On a similar note: I have developed a different plan for how I will be handling Kieran's progression/resolution, ultimately because Ribombee was originally not intended to be captured by Briar. This event has and will continue to have a lot of implications for him.

Ribombee being captured by Briar has ultimately shaped end game storylining, and I lowkey love it. My plans for things moving beyond the big reveal have been much more loose, and my approach has been "I will figure out how to tie things in later" xD But ngl, I am tying in much more than I originally envisioned because of the change and I'm excited to share it soon!! Thanks Ribombee!!

Amarys's conversation with Kieran in Chapter 21 was not planned at all. I have wanted to give each of the E4 individual moments of bonding with Kieran, though, so it ended up happening. I am honestly happy it did happen, though, because it was an unexpected opportunity for me to revisit something I personally would've written better/scrapped altogether if I were writing this more like a book and less like a fic I have been adapting as I have been writing.

On a similar note: the silly yet touchy-feely friendship moments between Crispin & Kieran have also been spontaneously written as I was like "hmm, Crispin could be in this scene, how can we make him bond with Kieran".

There is a specific theory that has emerged from something that was not meant to be deep at all. But many readers have been subscribing to it despite its unseriousneess, and it's one that still gets brought up to me from time to to time. xDD Now that I've finally had the chance to mull over end game stuff that has been coming into place, I have inadvertently come up with a response to said theory. It ultimately adds to the plot in a way I wasn't planning for at all LOL, but I'm actually a big fan of it, and the only reason it's happening is because of you guys!! So thank you & stay tuned!

Hmmm...okay I think that's all I'll say for now. Don't wanna give too much away. B) <3

[mushiemellows]

for the ask game do you have things to say about kiwi n mozu ? its really cool to me that they got to be relevant in SRH, smiles. 12, 20, and 21

oh yes yes yes!! I looooved making them into real characters in SRH. For a lot of the headcanon questions, I'll be talking about the little things that i used to flush out their characters in my brain that then informed how I wrote them, if that makes sense.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

So I do hc them both as transwomen. This literally never comes up in my writing, but it's rooted in the canon backstories for both of them (unhoused in their teens, in the same way that Franky being trans has partial root in his parents kicking him out at 10. And the whole FF is clearly all queer coded, and a big part of why I write Zambai as gay). I also needed to give them slightly different motivators to differentiate them from each other. So Mozu's a little more serious, a little more Family focused, she's slightly more logistical. By the time I have them running the bar, she's handling more of the finances and things like that, where as Kiwi's more of the face bartender. Kiwi, on the other hand, is a little more invested in her friend group outside of the Family. Like, they're both friends with Tiff and the others, but Kiwi is more in that circle than Mozu is. Also, Kiwi's a lesbian, idk if the microscopic Kiwi/Nami subplot is ever picked up on, but I did write it that way. And it's not a hc, it's a style decision- Toei, I'm begging you to give these women their deserved melanin.

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

I mean, easy answer is Franky. Second easiest answer is each other. Third easiest answer is Tiff, but she's an OC so that doesn't count. I do think post-Franky leaving, Mozu and Zambai get closer as they both step up to fill his position, while Kiwi gets more invested in that secondary friend group. In the same tone as the Nami/Kiwi thing, I actually do think those two would get along if they spent more time together. I think Nami would like both sisters under different circumstances, we're just never really shown them. On the flip side, I have Robin and Mozu getting along slightly better. It's the interlocking big sister-little sister dynamics, on repetition, if that makes sense. But less properly sisterly, more just complimentary.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Oh I loooooooove writing when they both tell a story at the same time. One of my favorite scenes to write was them essentially recapping the first third of the plot to Zambai, it's so much fun letting them bounce off each other and finish each other's sentences. They need to be their own characters, but I also love when they get to combine (they are like crystal gems to me). What I don't like? I don't like how little I have to work with. There's just scraps in the canon, so I had to build a lot of them up myself. In a way this was a bit of a blessing, they got to be whoever I needed them to be as long as it supported whatever Franky was up to, but it was still a challenge. Also- the true hardest part was the hours I spent remembering which was which and which was older (Mozu is younger and is the one in yellow, Kiwi is older and is the one in pink. it took me 13 chapters and 275k to cement that in my brain and I'm still certain I got it wrong at one point or another. I had to make a nemonic device.)

[watari-apologist]

do you think there would have been watari/L shippers within the death note universe?

personally, i think pre-kira, there was a small fandom surrounding the top detectives like L, deneuve, and coil, and most of the people in the community would ship them amongst each other. but there would be a dedicated subsection of the fandom made up of mostly people whose favorite detective was L who were absolutely obsessed with watari/L. i feel like most of the fics would either be really soft fluff portraying them with a sort of king/knight dynamic, or shameless smut of a bdsm dom and his hyperobedient sub.

post-kira, the detective fandom tag on ao3 would get flooded by kira/L fans who are unfamiliar with the fandom's history, inside jokes, etc, thus causing the older fans (especially ones who like deneuve or coil more than L) and the watari/L fans to develop a superiority complex over the new fans since they're, like, veterans or something. i don't know

(teeeeechnically death note takes place at a point in time slightly before modern fandom, the way we know it, but let's pretend haha)

while that kind of fandom would definitely see a lot of new people joining (as is the case with most fandoms when A Big Thing Happens, in this case the lind l. tailor broadcast), the impetus of kira/L would probably still come from the og fans themselves. prior to the broadcast there'd be theorising on if/when L would get involved, i imagine, and a select few fans would already be writing kira/L fic. mostly a crackship thing at that point, you know.

(also there is DEFINITELY already kira rpf, which exists separately from the detectives fandom at the time, so kira/L is crossover created by the fans who are in both communities)

fic of L, deneuve and coil setting their differences aside voluntarily or being forced to team up in various couple or threesome constellations to solve the kira case - and have a lot of very plot relevant gay sex on the side - springs up almost immediately too. sometimes kira kills one of them to heighten the drama. L taking the case, getting killed and then deneuve and coil banding together to avenge him is a fan favourite.

the watari/L crowd are on the ball as well: you've got the obvious where one of them gets killed by kira and the other tearfully avenges them. you've got watari getting kidnapped to blackmail L (which was probably already pretty popular in watari/L fics tbh; it's just good angst). and of course that one writer who has every watari/L shipper scream praise and obscenities at them in the comment section because 50k words into a fic, they drop the reveal that watari was kira all along and L is completely at his mercy now and things get REALLY dark REALLY fast.

and then tailor gets killed live on television and L directly challenges kira. the few fans lucky(?) enough to live in the kanto region who actually saw the broadcast in person come in screaming and crying, first liveblogging what's happening and then posting recordings uploaded to youtube, and the fandom LOSES ITS MIND. it's the middle of the night for some of them, but it does not matter. everyone is blowing up the message boards (or discord channels, or wherever the fandom is congregating), the first few fic writers are already hard at work, fanart is being created, the 'lore' people are drawing extremely funny conclusions about L's personality based on this daring move of his. it's a wild night/day for everyone.

and then... well. the excitement is so intense that others from outside the fandom bubble take notice. probably also a healthy dose of people going "haha what if anyone shipped kira and L together and wrote fic what a hilarious and unlikely idea" and then being shocked when searching the pairing on ao3 - or whatever the in-uniserve equivalent would be - brings up actual results. screenshots get passed around, there's the first inklings of disdain from the uninitiated (isn't it weird to write fic about real people? isn't it kind of fucked up to write fic about real life crimes and murders, especially?), maybe a small news article reporting on the fandom as a curiosity. you know how it goes.

but all the attention doesn't just attract the ones who find it weird or creepy. more than a few people look at the idea of shipping kira/L - or making fan content of kira and/or L in general - and go "i hope this doesn't awaken anything in me" and then (spoiler alert) it definitely awakens something in them. here is where the big influx of new people happens - and while yes, some og fans would definitely be disgruntled by the upset, it's probably just a lot of excitement for the most part, a lot of art and fic and what have you being created because there are suddenly so many more people.

this would of course lead to ship wars (it always does lol) - the kira/L crowd, mostly newcomers, might not even know about deneuve and coil and watari because their only point of reference is the broadcast. cue the og fans creating big 'lore' summary posts with all the important info and fandom history. some of the new fans don't care and will never read them, but i like to think that it wouldn't be a stand-offish 'old vs new' mentality. fandom isn't about animosity, it's about showing the thing you like to other people.

the detectives fandom is pretty old; it has been around at least since L started solving cases, and there was probably a select few people who shipped coil and deneuve and other top detectives even before that. (hilariously, that means there were probably newbies who came into the detectives rpf fandom when L showed up and had to be lectured by those fandom olds back in the 90s or whenever haha)

of course there will always be bad eggs. people who look down on the newbies and go "i liked x before it was cool." you always have people like that, but they're not usually the majority. most fans would just be excited that there's suddenly so much happening in their previously so tiny community.

one thing that might ruffle a few feathers is the way L is portrayed visually. before, it was likely a tma jonathan sims situation where obviously nobody had any idea what L looked like, so there was sort of an agreed upon 'fanon' look for him that artists who drew him and writers who described him in text would reference. after the lind l. tailor broadcast, a lot of the new fans probably start drawing L as looking like tailor just because it's a convenient visual reference (and because tailor is admittedly kind of good looking. which of course brings with it the moral handwringing of whether it isn't kind of fucked up to draw fanart of a guy who got killed live on tv, and who was also a criminal on death row)

(also, consider the tiny subset of the fandom who ship L/tailor and make up AUs where he wasn't actually a criminal at all but L's childhood friend who has helped him solve cases all along and sacrificed himself for the greater good and L is mourning him fiercely. anyway)

then again, back when the fandom was tiny they probably also had their fair share of debate about what L and watari look like (and deneuve and coil, if they were anonymous detectives. otherwise they would get portrayed the way they look irl, obviously). tiny fandom wars were waged over their ages, their backstories, what the exact power dynamic is between them.

top L defenders go to bat for the master/servant dynamic while top watari fans shoot back that L could just as well order watari to top him, or even headcanon that watari is the one in control actually and L is just his mouthpiece. "watari didn't work for L; L worked for watari," as the german death note audio drama would put it (reset the clock, i've mentioned it again). watari gets drawn in the trenchcoat+hat+mask combo A LOT and it's generally agreed upon by watari/L shippers that L finds this outfit extremely hot and has ordered watari to keep it on during sex at least once.

also kira gets drawn as an eldritch horror creature with tentacles sometimes for obvious reasons. the doujinshi are wild.

og fandom in-jokes for your consideration:

personally apologising to L (primarily when posting smut) - the fandom likes to joke that L probably keeps tabs on what's being said about him online, mostly to squash attempts to locate/identify him and other nefarious plots, and is therefore probably at least tangentially aware that there's fanfic/art and stuff being made of him. opinions vary on 1) whether he reads any of it and 2) if he is actually secretly One Of Them

variation of that last point: "i'm not L." which is exactly what L would say if he were one of them, of course. there's one fan in particular who has been jokingly suspected of being L for years because of their really specific headcanons for him

watari's height - nobody has any hope of figuring out what L looks like, but there exist at least a few photos of watari and the fandom has been desperately trying to figure out how tall he is based on the height of the people he's been photographed standing near. general consensus is somewhere in the 5'10 area, but there's one person who stubbornly insists he's 6 feet (it's me. i'm that person)

there's an infamous watari/L crackfic where orgasming is the only way L can solve cases, and all that that entails. it's considered an integral part of their fandom's history and is one of the first things the new post-tailor broadcast fans are subjected to when they join

[perverse-idyll]

Fic Stats Tag Game

Rules: Give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.

Thank you @danpuff-ao3 and @likelightinglass for tagging me! I've got an hour to relax, and this is just about my speed at the moment: something fun but not demanding. (One hour, my arse. It took me three days!) Who else would enjoy doing this? @ac1d6urn, @ripeteeth, @squibstress, @yletylyf?

Most Hits

The White Road, Snarry, 48K. I knew the answer to this one without having to check. TWR is my most popular fic by every metric and the one most Snarry readers know me by, not to mention it's old enough now to be a high school sophomore (or possibly an A level student). I'm happy I somehow managed to pull off a nonlinear fic, plus I was so, so in love with the Snarry ship and all its possibilities, and I think that shines through. I let myself explore Lily's character and responded in fic to the way Snape's story ended; gave Lily and Severus one last chance to face some hard truths; and - well, no need to flog it, there are just a lot of scenes in this fic that make me clutch my heart to this day. And I let myself be a bit romantic about my OTP! With a happy ending and everything! (Okay, I'm always romantic about Snarry, but you can't always tell that from my fics.)

If you have any desire to hear me natter on with more Writerly Thoughts about this fic, I recorded an interview with ChaosBlue over here: Fanfic Maverick episode 25

Second Most Kudos

Soft Touch, Snarry, ~15K. This was a sleeper hit. I never expected it to be popular, and it's not a fic people love, exactly. But the combination of mindfucky unethical massage kink plus character study brought readers to the yard - although, really, I doubt it has much to do with the "character study" part. I'm going to cheat here and borrow a bookmarker's comment to describe it: "Very sensual almost eerily so. Actually somehow slightly creepy at times yet very seductive at others. A weird read." I like how they can't seem to make up their mind! Because, yeah, IMO the appeal lies in that uncomfortable overlap between sensuality and creepiness, and the touch-starved atmosphere that hangs over it all.

Third Most Comments

The Afterlight, Snarry, WIP, currently at 46K. This is one of three melodramatic and, yes, romantic Snarry WIPs on my plate - ridiculous amounts of whump and/or emotional turmoil, plus a triple whammy of overwrought happy endings (but only after I put them through hell). Apparently after the last 10 years of Life Shite, my fannish desires are all about shameless self-indulgence now. This one has a serial killer subplot that's giving me conniptions, but I'm in love with the ending so I need the fic to get all the way there. It also ponders, in a "one dark thread running through the whole work" sense, what it means to die and come back, and I'll just say that Snape experienced death very differently than Harry did. I suspect this fic has as many comments as it does because readers were kindly encouraging me to continue after years of me not posting very much. I'm currently finishing up a Snape/McGonagall fic, but The Afterlight is next on the menu. Fourth Most Bookmarks

Warm, Snarry, ~11K. Hah! My PWP made the list! It's also a character study of Snape and Harry with an established couple dynamic, but come on, those bookmarks aren't about the settled kind of domestic bliss. They're more about the "naked by the fireside fucking each other's brains out" bliss. I wrote this fic for a prompt and to help me scrape the rust off my creative wheels after several years of writer's block. In doing so, I found that porn without plot doesn't come naturally to me. Or established relationship, either. Where's the angst? I muttered constantly to myself about the paucity of sexy anatomical slang and the problems with pacing a fairly drama-free fic. (Solution? Don't write 10K words of PWP when 3K words will do.)

Fifth Most Words

The Blood of Stars, Snarry, WIP, ~44K. This is the fic that started my journey into the melodramatic & romantic combo, but it hasn't been updated since 2014 (aka The Worst Year of My Life). However, it's alive! I've picked it up again and have been scribbling and revising scenes in between working on three other fics. This was also the start of my So What If It's Messy and Imperfect phase, which is a challenge as a perfectionist but a necessity in my current circumstances if I presume to have delusions of ever finishing anything ever again. It's a challenge in another sense, too, since I committed myself to writing Harry's section in first-person POV, just to see if I can. (The jury's still out on that.) It's also got book-ended sections written in third-person Snape (an obscure and hard-to-master dialect)(kidding), and I'm not terribly confident writing from his POV, either. But the fic's got one of those can't-stay-away-from-each-other plots (I love these), and Harry being unfaithful to Ginny (yes, I know, don't send the OOC police after me). It's full of emotional flailing and obsession and beloved characters behaving badly and Snape coming to a tragic end - but wait! There's also Love after Death and Snape having meltdowns and in the end sort of getting everything he ever wanted. In case it isn't obvious, I am wallowing like a pig in mud. I love this fic. 🥰

Fic with the Least Words

Truce, Doctor Who, Twelve/Clara, a classic drabble of 100 words. This won't make sense to anyone who hasn't seen their series arc and the last encounter between them. It's a drop in the bucket of my undying love for them, but alas, my fealty has already been pledged to my endless Snapely WIPs. But Twelve and Clara deserve so much more than I'm able to give them.

[nanatsuyu]

Top 5 vs Personal 5

List your top 5 fics ranked by kudos on AO3. are you surprised by what's most popular to your readers? then provide your ranking of your personal top 5 fics, and tag a few fellow writers!

oh boi these make me nervous but thank you @mostlymaudlin ;; (tagging: @skvaaader @jaywalkers @annawrites @marianjos @kevneildependant @takitalks)

i'll follow format cus this looks pretty and personal favs first feels nicer to share. (i havent posted a lot of fic so there's a bit of overlap)

that's just something people say (T), 119k, andreil || slowburn road trip au where neil steals andrew's car and andrew makes a deal to take neil west before they part ways again (haha...unless? 👀) this is my baby that i worked on for several months and posted every chapter in one day lmao it was my first chapter fic and my first major au. im still very proud of it <3

better safe than damned (E), 18k, andreil || a smuttier au of an au with demon!neil and witch!andrew and tentacles lol it sounds depraved, and the tags make it sound really depraved but half that word count is aftercare and exploring ones comfort zones and sexuality? so its personal and one of my best written smutfics imo

what a chatty creature (T), 14.7k, kandreil || 5 times neil goes nonverbal and the one time he finds his voice. i wrote this for my friend gull and had them give me 6 of their favourite words and included those in each part. i liked exploring communication with kandreil when in a slightly different font

messy (E), 10.3k, kandrew || au where kevin and trans!andrew are fwb (but more because feelings are fun) its another soft smut where andrew thinks too much, and hes a bit further in his healing, but reservations are still that. i like playing with their dynamic a whole lot. i was incredibly nervous to post this but im glad i did <3

taptaptap (T), 7.2k, kandreil || canon divergence kandreil where theyre a year or so removed from college and in love, but kevin and andrew never resolved The Incident after baltimore. this was my first big softie fic of them. i love kevin with my whole heart and i think he should be happy always so this one is close to me

taptaptap (T), 7.2k, kandreil || this one doesn't surprise me when it comes to popularity. its super soft and canon divergent and my first non exchange/gift fic!

that's just something people say (T), 119k, andreil || its a 100k+ slowburn andreil fic. it was bound to do numbers but its also very validating because i worked so hard ;;

like you swallowed a bone (T), 7.6k, gen twinyards and nicky || mixtape post canon fic exploring what happened with the twins and nicky's relationship years down the road. i think this got popular because of age and i still really like it, but im not sure what sparked this one for people lol

what a chatty creature (T), 14.7k, kandreil || this def got popular because fuzzy and kandreil and its relatively low stakes in drama (not that i write particularly dramatic things but yknow)

morning coffee (E), 9.8k, kandreil || post canon divergence smut with the boys before neil has an interview. kandreil smut speaks for itself in popularity lol i am still incredibly fond of this one and its gotten a lot of comments recently which has been nice. wrote it because i wanted to see more fic that felt like kandreil and not just andreil + kevin

im terrible at boosting my own stuff because i never feel like i explain myself well enough to sell my ideas or fics which is definitely reflected in my summaries that i have often been told "do not do the fic any justice" lol that and im horrified of people saying theyre silly but at least a few people think theyre pretty neat! :^)

[tadpolesonalgae]

ok first, before i forget, i don't remember sending that eris ask in but i know it was the night i got drunk and couldn't stop thinking about him lol eris has me by the throat and thank u if you actually write one of my ramblings 🙏

about the tier list, you not liking reading major character death or unhappy ending but like writing it is so funny but also terrifying please have mercy. some of them were surprising but others i expected like i knew dark fic was going to be s tier because you write the best ones. i guess it changes a bit from what you usually write to what you like to read about

turns out i can't send images on asks on anon so 💔 but i can just do a rundown of mine:

- s tier is: slow burn, mutual pining, friends to lovers, arranged marriage, fake relationship, fluff and angst

- a tier: sharing a bed, enemies to lovers, unrequited love, established relationship, huddle for warmth, pwp, soulmate

- b tier: dark fic, in vino veritas, fix it fic, hurt comfort, first kiss

- c tier: amensia, abo, sex pollen, missing scenes, bang or die, humor

- then there's a special row for canon divergence

- and the ones i don't really like are: prangancy fic, baby fic, major character death, love triangle, unhappy ending, crossover, crack fic, body swap, high school au

i want to clarify that unrequited love is pretty high but i usually like it when it turns out not to be unrequited because i like the momentary angst but i like an happy ending

also the aus are hard to rank because what i usually like and read about is already fantasy or magic so they're not really relevant. and they left out the best ones like demon au or vampire au

and the canon divergence has its own row because when there's a oc there's going to be changes but i don't like when those changes are to the point of me barely recognizing the acotar world yk and i don't like when certain things are changed but i don't mind with others (like some fics don't have nyx), i guess that's king of personal for each person. also in other fandoms i tend to like all the characters that end up dead somehow so i like when they're alive or when the fic kind of ignores some of the main plot of the show because it completely changed the dynamics of it at some point or killed basically everyone off, being a fan of anime is torture

also i just read the dark!rhys fic and i love it so much, i need more of him in my life. do you have any more dark rhys fics planned? i like that sjm made him nicer in the books and all but the high lord of the night court being a little darker and leaning more into the morally grey just hits different - 🧶

My gosh I feel so dumb, this was directly above the last one 😭 I’m so sorry

‘thank u if you actually write one of my ramblings 🙏’

I’ve got the first one done!! It will hopefully be going up tonight! I decided to write the friends to lovers one where Eris has just become High Lord + slightly drunken confession just to ease into his character! Hopefully next will be energies to lovers + arranged marriage with a little more CBMTHY-type dialogue 🧡💛

‘about the tier list, you not liking reading major character death or unhappy ending but like writing it is so funny but also terrifying please have mercy.’

I can promise there’ll be no major character death in CBMTHY and it won’t have an unhappy ending—don’t worry :)

It’s only fun when the story is under my control which I think is understandable? I can experience angst within a controlled environment so I don’t have to worry about actually getting upset, which makes it easier 😭

‘turns out i can't send images on asks on anon so 💔’

Oh! 😭😞

‘also the aus are hard to rank because what i usually like and read about is already fantasy or magic so they're not really relevant. and they left out the best ones like demon au or vampire au’

That’s a really good point, I completely forgot about demon/vampire/werewolf aus or the pirate ones? Those ones I would 100% read—especially vampire/demon ones because oh my gosh 😳😳🫣

I think maybe for a fandom that didn’t already have magic and royalty, then the magic and royalty au’s might be fun as a once-every-so-often sort of thing? But I don’t think they’d be a frequent read.

‘also in other fandoms i tend to like all the characters that end up dead somehow’

You made me laugh so hard with that 😭I’m so sorry 🫂🧡💛

!acowar spoiler below!

Like probably a lot of other people, I really loved the suriel, so it’s death made me so sad 😞 There was another ToG character who I absolutely adored (not the TaB one) and Miss Maas had them die and I was so upset 😔

You seem to have the Comfort Character Curse, my condolences 😔🫂

‘being a fan of anime is torture’

You totally just reminded me of a post I saw I think back in 2020/21 saying that Isayama had a dartboard of his characters and he would sit back and just casually kill them off one after another 🥔🧡💛

‘do you have any more dark rhys fics planned?’

I actually have a request for ‘DARK dark (dark, dark), dark’ Rhys or Az smut so I think I’ll write another for the High Lord since I already have one planned for Azriel!! 🧡💛

[13tinysocks]

So I'm gonna ask the real question we're all wondering: out of the love interests and their dynamics with Joan, how many are shameless subs for them and how many are doms? And will Joan be more of a submissive person themselves, dominant, or versatile? I've noticed that usually you guys will have your yn for each story take a slightly different stance in the bedroom based off their character design/setting/backstory, and from what I've seen of Joan, I can't imagine Natalie domming them in a MILLION YEARS the way they did to Dylan.

tldr: I'm just horny for your version of Natalie and want to know if we get to dom our dogboy gf in this fic.

I tend to push yn towards sub/switch bottom I feel like a VAST majority of our readers are subs (and Its what I'm much better at) but doms I see you. Joan will get hold a strap this fic frfr. Mens holes will be filled.

So she'll be a vers/switch likely with a bottom/sub lean unless our readers are veering more towards Dom/top.

Some characters have preset sexual prefences like Cody who I will only follow @skeletonishatching s orders on. Sub top coming right up, sir. 🫡

Natalie is a switch top so yes, she's dom'able but the real question is can Joan? Joan (ho1c yn for those outta the loop) has an... Interesting personality. They are completely two faced in such a goofy ass way I mean. So it really depends on the dynamic and personalities so a lot of stuff you won't know till it happens :3

But also if you want someone to be a Dom when they're more sub well I got a PayPal.

[catwings-writes-things]

If you still take questions from the Tree writer ask game: Gingko: What part of your story is the oldest, has stuck around from that original idea?

Paper Birch: Which character has the most layers peeled back?

I am indeed still taking asks! I am always taking asks from any ask game I’ve ever reblogged, by the way. Just tell me which one and preferably include the questions, especially if it’s from a while back. You did this exactly right 💚

Gingko: A World of His Own has actually changed shockingly little from the original idea. From the first “hey, what if” series of texts about the concept I sent to @thethistlegirlwrites, the basic premise and who was involved were set. I had the basic plot sketched out in its entirety within a few days. So to answer this question, I’m going to have to go back to a few days before the actual germ of the idea, when I read this fic by @mikecrewsteacup and started thinking about Mike a lot more than I previously had. One of the things I noticed was that Jude said Mike “hangs around with the Fairchilds sometimes,” so he clearly knows and gets on with them but isn’t one himself, and I started wondering if they hadn’t invited him to join or if they had but he’d declined, and if so why. I did eventually decide it makes total sense with his character that he would prefer to remain as unaffiliated as possible with anything and anyone except the Vast, and especially that he’d be uncomfortable with the idea of a family of any sort, but it led to wondering what, if anything, might have been different if he had been a Fairchild. That led to me thinking more about the Fairchilds in general, which led to me going back over Freefall and wondering who Harriet was (besides the only Fairchild besides Simon we get a name for. We get the names of more Lukases, for crying out loud) and what the deal was with Robert Kelly and Open Skydiving (more on that in chapter 11), and that led to me writing a ficlet where she gets sent to invite Mike to join the Fairchild family a year or two after his Becoming. Even then, when they both suspected that the other might start trying to kill them at any moment, I could tell within a few minutes of them interacting with each other that their dynamic had, pun intended, vast potential. So, probably the oldest part of this story is the relationship between Mike and Harriet. (My interest in Jon and Helen’s dynamic is even older, but the way I think about it has evolved enough over time that I think the above answer still stands.)

Paper Birch: surprising no one, I’m gonna have to say Helen. Not just because she’s been a thousand different people over the past who-knows-how-many centuries, not just because she’s often a mystery even to herself, but because one of the many consequences of the fact that this fic is being told entirely from Jon’s point of view is that what gets conveyed to the readers is limited by what he knows and thinks and believes, and even though Jon is hands-down Helen’s favorite person and (by this point in the story) the person who loves her most, he’s also fundamentally unable to understand her (for practical reasons and for her safety), not to mention just. Kind of shit at actually understanding other people in general. However, he’s also inclined to keep trying to work around that, partly because it’s hard for him to grasp any other way to love someone. He’s definitely getting better at that, but in the meantime, the upshot of all that is that he will keep forming new misconceptions about Helen only slightly more slowly than he learns better. Sooner or later they’ll both realize that that’s not a bad thing, but for now… yeah.

Thank you for the ask, friend! Best!