#its a lot worse than it sounds
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That's more like it
Our backyard has now been flooded
#stormy day#rainnyday#gloomyday#this is nice#its a lot worse than it sounds#my phone sucks at picking up noise
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Dev this is serious stop beatboxing.
#fop nature au#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#dev dimmadome#fop dev#dale dimmadome#emetophobia#art#digital art#fanart#comic#Sorry for taking so long on this I was procrastinating bcs its just kinda a context page that needs to exist for other stuff to happen#I love it when they interact like disgruntled roommates#like on one had he SHOT HIM on the other hand whats Dev supposed to do? Go no contact?? Hes ten#This takes place like 2 days after the deer attack#Dale got whisked away to fairy world to get speed healed and had his memory wiped of the whole thing#Devs relationship with his dad is so messy cause like yes his dad hurt him but also thats his dad and he loves him.#even if his dad doesnt love him back#He wants to Want To Hurt his dad. thats the right way to feel about after what he did. and he does feel that way sometimes.#but on some level its was kind of a relief to hear that he couldnt wish harm on people#because even if he could he isnt sure he could go through with it#and there would be nothing worse than having the power to do something and yet. not#sorry if that sounds insane#complicated relationships with your abuser my beloved#also just the quiet acceptance Dev has for (what he thinks is) Peri straight up lying to his face#Dev likes Peri a lot but he is also deeply aware that Peri hides a lot of things from him#I think he appreciates that Peri tries to shield his feelings. His dad doesnt do that#ofc Peri isnt actually lying here I just think the layers of such a small interaction are hilarious
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pygmalion and galatea for aroace people
you should tell your friends what I look like, riz gukgak.
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#fh class quangle#class swap babeyy! bard!riz that's whats goin on!#I really need tags for these now I think lmao#ask to tag#I feel like this should be tagged something. but I dont know what#in my brain after the initial kidnapping class swap baron's thing is every time riz keeps his story abt them up in front of his friends#they get a little bit closer. they send him pictures of where they supposedly are n stuff#theres a scene in my brain only of kristen and riz on top of the van and kristen is like everything kinda sucks rn can u tell me abt baron#cause what you guys have is so nice and beautiful. and riz almost doesn't but he ultimately can't deny kristen a little peace#lmao I feel like dipping into baron stuff with the class swap is like showing my whole ass online again I just. I'm a#horror person before all else... I cant stop myself. canon baron is Great and Cool but that is kind of the thing. for a horror thing theyre#Too Cool. I think cool is kind of the neutralizer of scary. when a monster is a certain amount of cool it overrides the scary#and now u just have a Cool Monster#its so fucked for bard!riz this year bc he doesn't have an office (he's mooching off the school wifi from the AV club room lol)#so there's no buffer between adventure and home life. so baron just shows up in the strongtower apartment lmao#sophomore year bard!riz looks like a slasher protag so I just leaned into it I guess. he gets a mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon kennedy#well. its worse actually. they can show up where he is at any moment theyve proven this. but they dont#they choose to punish him slowly as he lies to his friends instead. baron is mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon and also a bitch#I think its gonna pop up if class swap baron ever speaks in a comic I do but their voice comes from like. inside their hollow face#it sounds like it's a lot deeper in there than that skull should be#tbh what I have rn is kinda like a bag of loose pieces that Can fit together into something great but I dont have the energy to#really sit down with them yet lol. Im doing this inbetween other things#it comes or it doesn't! it's fine. funny how today's bad comic day also. I wont say this is for bad comic day bc all my comics are#flawless and beautiful and perfect and awesome and beautiful and the best#but u should. if u havent drawn a comic today or at all ever u should draw a comic
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#detroit become human#amanda stern#amanda blease.... chill .... you deserve it....#i imagine this as like FINALLY connor deviated and i can get some peace and quiet and not constantly having to dish out approval#honestly when someone says theres a fate worse than death its being turned into ai in someones head#to approve or disapprove of everything like that sounds awful im so sorry that happened to you amanda#i tried giving her the sunny yellow (since she DOES have a yellow outfit) but#incorporating lots of blue bc thats the good color ? but also the roses bc yeah yeah you know#but specifically blue roses which arent supposed to happen naturally just like AMANDA CHILLING OUT#i put a lot of thought into this and its less doodley than i was planning but#hope you appreciate it anyway#almost drew her with a drink and a lil umbrella in said drink bc i like how she has a parasol ... but i thought#that would be a bit too much lmao
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the downfall and execution of a tudor queen (2023) / the boleyns: a scandalous family (2021) / the king's pearl: henry viii and his daughter mary (2017), melita thomas / anne boleyn (tv miniseries 2021) / the mirror and the light (2024) / elizabeth (1998)
#web weaving#sort of?#i never feel like my edits really fit#they're more like collages#anyway...me on my island with the one other tudor fan that liked AB 2021 lol#'our expectations were low but holy fuck' sounds like a lot of consternation about a pretty...solid script?#what i loved most about it was moments like the above#the ability to summarize really complex dynamics borne of circumstance#in such a way that you can believe in the world and it serves as its own 'previously on' that a miniseries inherently lacks#esp when it only covers five crucial months#tl; dr there's a lot of smugness evident in many books of this genre#when it comes to anne's attitude towards her stepdaughter#bcus she was quote proven wrong unquote; becaues mary got quote the last laugh unquote...#when really. as per the quotes i've been posting#it doesn't seem like mary's reconciliation with her father was the idyll many have made it#thus we have anne's letter#and offer. knowing that others are offering her better futures#but saying this is the best future you could have. limited time only.#and it seems the future proved her right; not wrong (at least the immediate future)#bcs while matters; had she accepted; might not've been substantially better than they were under the auspices of a 'more gentle' stepmother#it also doesn't really seem like they would have been substantially worse#anne was right that her enemy's supporters wanted her disgraced and/or dead. she was right in that they wanted elizabeth disgraced#and/or dead. she couldn't have predicted what happened to herself in the exact matter it did- mainly bcus it was unprecedented#but it seems she had a pretty clear view of what mary was doing: playing both sides. attempting to ingratiate herself to her father while#also conspiring against him. and she knew it would have been better to have her on side#(and in a more jaundiced view: have her where she could watch what she was doing; who she was seeing)#but perhaps underestimated how impossible it would be to get her there in the first place#('on side' ; that is. not at court. although probably not that either. with the conditions she demanded)#but her fears of mary were not paranoia. they seem to have been grounded in realism#and a clear view of the situation at home and abroad
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Been feeling so odd recently
#shut up meg#for a number of reasons but the one mostly on my mind is that i don’t really. know who i am#and that makes it sound much worse than it is. it’s not that bad but its enough to be on my mind a lot#i ever since i was a little girl ive been imagining myself as a different person whether that be drastically different or just a-#-slight change and its gotten to the point where it interferes with me thinking about myself and it feels like-#-there’s all these aspects to me but then i get like a wave of realization every once in a while that im just. flat.#i feel like everyone else my age has already found themself but im still searching#and i dont have a lot of time left to find her#i don’t properly fit into any groups. and i know that i don’t Have to but it sucks that i dont
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#im such a private person irl and for what like what purpose does this serve#all it does is distance me from people and keep me from making deep deep connections i know that very well#its just the act of opening up and being vulnerable especially when people aren’t groveling for me to open up is so unimaginable and#horrible#why do i do this like why i rlly dont want to share anything abt myself i just wanna know everything abt everyone while not sharing#anything abt myself#and then at the same time i am feel deeply disconnected and not understood and not known by anyone in my life except my mom#which im grateful for at least i have her but why cant i be that same way with friends i have literally had for 20+ years#i know i have to open up unprompted like without someone begging me to do so or its just gonna get worse and worse#but at the same time if there is this friend and shes curious idk theres just a million different things running through my head and im#just not ever a 100% honest or genuine with them#i guess in a way i also want to be seen in a certain light and as a certain someone and i do try to preserve an image of sorts even though#thats ridiculous to do with your fucking friends idk i guess im pretentious as shit?#i dont even know anymore#more than anything its like often when i share sth that was hard for me to open up abt i feel like ppl dont treat that with care or at#least havent in the past#and i rlly rlly hated that a lot and just i dont know#i told my mom some of the things my friends have said to me which has upset me and she was it sounds like they dont know you at all#and then she said but can i tell you that this is your own fault#and im like. i know. whag are they supposed to do#idk why am i like this what purpose does this serve omg id love to spend a day as an oversharer irl just to get a glimpse of what its like#i know this sounds odd bcs me online is just pure word vomit but thats probably also overcompensation cause i dont share these things with#my friends aka the ppl who i should actually be talking to#anyways
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you know it's bad when your therapist says that your relationship sucks ass and you need to either break up or say what's going on with no filter, no matter who gets hurt
#my therapist going 'you know that sounds like emotional blackmail?' like yes i know??????? chill????#also at the end of the session she went 'today it felt like [deadname] was sitting here. not you.' and i think it broke me a bit.#like yes id love to say stuff thats on my mind#but a lot of it just sounds like being picky.#im sorry but envy is eating me up from inside like a venomous snake i cant be happy for you because you have a better life than me#im sorry. you have a body i want. you have supportive parents. you have a life id kill for.#but it just sounds like im an asshole.#envy is an ugly emotion i am not allowed to express and its worse than anger and i will die on that hill.
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Worst thing about learning a new language of my own violation though is that its made me a fucking nerd. I just found my friend's flashcards on quizlet and got excited. I get excited to hear some french words in everyday conversation. When my friends are reading a book i have to resist the urge to go WHAT LANGUAGE IS THAT. Im just super excited to consume french and spanish language and phrases and im a fucking nerd about it now
#like im not as into spanish as i am french#i like the sounds better but i set out here to learn french goddamit!!!!#but it would be SUPER awesome to speak both fr fe#fr#hell even just 1#like in 4 years. again. km not going to be worse#im listening and learing french constantly atm#spanish its only been a few days but im getting on a lot better than i thought#i keep getting frustrated bevause i dont always understand it and its digficult to manage my time#plus ive heard that learning two langauages can confuse u#but ive not had too much issue atm and it can actually be benifitial to learn both#hell i dont think om even doing this for qsmp anymore i dont even watch qsmp!!!!!#but also if i do need to dropone language or maybe even both if rhings get really crazy#it wont be the end of the world because i can always pick it back up and it wi never be a waste u know#luke i havent learnt spanish for 4 or 5 years!!! and i STILL can read a bit and i got put forwards on duolingo even FURTHER than i currently#am in french!!!!!!#and ive been learning french for 4 months! (although i learnt spanish at school since like. year 4 and i didnt take it in later years and my#spanish teacher hated me bc i was always drawing and she was mean#ik spanishis easier to learn than french#did u k ow that if u practice for 3 hours a day u can learn spanish in 6 months!?#i dont have 3 hours a day#i think today ive spent about 1#1.5 hours practicing and 1.5 hours engaging with french and spanish media combined#but thats only half of that each idk#i just dont think im going to be fluent for aggggeeeesssssss like YEARS. maybe in like. 4 or 5 years would be cool#but also its just fun? and im having fun and oh my god this makes me a nerd doesnt it#okay okay ramble over im just proud of myself :]
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u guys ever think about killing urself for everyone elses sake.
just so people wont have to go thru the annoyance of talking to me or the disgust of seeing my face so they can be happier by talking to their other friends instead of me so they dont have to deal with my actual fucking stupidity
#tw vent#tw suicide#ingnore this. btw. or dont i cant stop you lol#imsso close to cutitng off everyone i know so they can be happier i alreadyblocked a few people i knewnow ionly know one person irl#imf so glad she found other people so she'll be completely fine if i disappear out of her life her life sounds like its going great actuall#ruining my life ^_^#i dont want to talk to people but for their sake#IM GENUINELY SO FUCKING STUPID AND UPSETTING TO TALK TO .#does anyone even love me anymore#im probably doign this for my own selfish reasons#i dont go outside anymore for everyone else sake. so they dont have to see my ugly face. or deal with my awful speech#at least i can still draw.... only way i can mkae people happy..#im mean to myself more than anyone else is mean to me at htis point. why#im not even capable of becoming mentally well at hthis point. im a lost cause#tell me what you rlly think . just tell me to shut the fuck up. just call me annoying. whatever u say cant be worse than what i do to mysel#pleasee im just dragging u down and making u feel worse whenever u tlak to me DO YOU NOT REALISE IT#i dont want to feel better for myself i want to feel better so i can be useful to others#i fucking hate people but i love them a lot . i gues i just hate how i affect others. social outcast i guess
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I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun
#sorry if anyone sees these im tired of using my personal discord servet to vent. i always spiral too much#anyways i have an idea for a good poem to write for class because of recent events#ughhhh idk i just wish i wasnt so annoying about asking if i can open ip to people#or if someone would just ask if i was okay. i mean actually id probably lie i am not actually good at being open.#but like hey idk it feels nice to feel like people genuinely want to know#ughhhhfhfhf i do this to myself sometimes JSHSJSKDJDJD#welp its just how life goes. i feel lonely all the time and i soldier on#surely helping the next person will make me feel better! nope. surely helping yhis next person will make me feel better! nope. surely-#tgats me. thats what i sound like#yeah idk it feels like everyone is going through something worse than me so itd be a moral failing on my part#to ask them if i could just like. feel bad. noticeably#not even talk about it just look down and out of it for a day#yknow i emailed one of my teachers asking permission to go by a new preferred name#this is at like. a massive very queer and trans art school.#and i asked him permission to do this#and i was joking with my friends about how pathetic i sounded in it#and one of them patted me on the head and said “there there buddy” like very jokingly#but i almost cried because thats the first time in so long someone has like. really tried to comfort me#or shown me much physical affection#my mom gives me hugs and stuff but thats always about her. i dont blame her shes got a lot of stuff going on#but idk its really selfish of me but i just wanna have people see me and feel bad for me and it be about my pain for a little while#ill get over it im just being a teenager but shit god fucking damnit#i just want a break from feeling like my world is falling apart#then getting some footing#then it falling apart again#okay i feel a bit better now better stop the complain train JDJDJSKSJD#hey why do i never hear that it rhymes and everything thays so good#damn i gotta use that more#welp weve reached our stop sorry if anyone ever read thjs. hope you have a nice day tho lol
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You don't want to be more ill or more visibly ill. You want it to be easier
#m/cc#mine#also 'I wish I couldn't mask then I'd be taken seriously'#the reason you mask is that people who can't mask *are treated worse*#masking is a traumatic experience in its own rite. it's awful covering up an essential part of you and having to learn who you actually are#but being unable to mask IS NOT A PRIVILEGE IN ANY WAY#the tags are a lot more venty than the actual post and the post itself is not meant to sound aggressive#but I'm just. STOP saying you want to be more visibly disabled or visibly divergent#you won't be magically accepted and unquestioned and accommodated for if your disability is visible#and I'd like you to think about: if not masking would lead to better treatment#why do people try to mask?#'because it was bullied into me.' so you were treated worse when you didn't mask?#people who can't mask didn't get a sign that said 'I can't help it' and become bullying exempt I promise you
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I see some people disliking the ending with the time stuff due to it going against season ones message. While i understand, i think i need to see how the time stuff actually plays out next season… Or maybe i just think there’s ahem worse writing choices this season
yeah i mean that's valid! people already didn't like season 2 because of how different it was from season 1.
but like...unpopular opinion, but season 1 was no masterpiece lol. it was cute, i guess, but i've definitely seen this kind of thing done better before (these slice of life, individual stories). what i really enjoyed about the series was lg and cxs and their relationship; and i came to really love ql too, and how she was like a big sister to cxs.
but (and this is ALSO unpopular) I really enjoyed the thread about emma back in s1, and the more exciting mystery/thriller stuff. i found that fun and exciting. so when s2 was more of THAT i was excited. i agree with everyone else that it was executed poorly and the writing was sloopy; but imo it's no downgrade from s1 or anything. kind of just more of the same? i was just bummed there was less of a focus on my two favorite characters.
BUT THEN THEY CONFIRMED A FAN-FAVORITE THEORY AND MADE THE FOCUS LG AND CXS AGAIN SO I DON'T GIVE A SHIT LC IS THE BEST SHOW OF ALL TIME 10/10 NO COMPLAINTS
#asks#to each their own!#i don't feel like this season was like#significantly worse than s1#maybe a little more poorly put together but i feel like that was largely the pacing#can't wait for 3!!#also not to make me sound like a bitch or anything but...#i feel like a lot of lc fans dont like#watch a ton of other anime and stuff#and like....maybe that's why they like s1 so much? bc they haven't seen that kind of thing before?#this makes me seem really mean . i don't intend it that way#but anyway i've watched entirely too much anime and so its just#idk. have seen it been done better#even amongst time travel shows! (please watch steins;gate)
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ok im actually gonna post a ranking today at least of the standard edition i will start working on the second half today tho
#im finding it hard cuz the more i listen the more im like. yeah none of these really hit#listened to my faves off folkmore last night and had a lil cry bc of nostalgia and how good they are but also how its sad how none of the#new songs come close imo. again tho i havent listened to the second side enough to have a real.opinion so this is abt the first half#i have a very rough ranking like ik my bottom three but theres some where its like. theres one cool part. or i like the bottom half. and#within those its like. some are just mid and some have lyrics that bug me but the ones with bad lyrics sound better than the ones with mid#lyrics....and some of them are like. fine but feel self derivative to me and like just worse versions of folklore tracks#florida is esp hard for me like do i like it or not i really do not know but i think the florida duh duh duh duh duh duh duh is cool and i#like just how many times its repeated at the end. but the whole first verse is so boring and i find a lot of the lyrics in florences part#kinda cringe and cliche
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i think i actually owe my life to sony's noise cancelling headphones like quite literally
#its not just them saving me from sensory meltdowns etc#its that when i was like. at the edge of it. like when i was seriously like yeah death means the discontinuation of this suffering and#i want that. like when i was truly like...Wanting To Die. abt to do it. etc. id listen to one song#loudly . w my headphones. and the detail and emotion etc would sink in . and like id just be lost in sound#and then living was worth it again just to hear another song#im convinced if the music quality was any lower and the noise cancelling was any worse i wouldnt be#left alone with the music in the way i was which means i wouldnt be alive#like music saved my life and im sure it saved a lot of peoples lives but specifically the thing that channeled the music to me ..#its an object but i am thankful to it#those were the xm3s and now i have xm4s which r even better but i literally think of those xm3s every day like truly i miss them#im sorry i lost you :( u got me through so much#i took better care of those headphones than i did of any other possession i have ever owned i think#the only imperfection on them after yrs and yrs was a few holes in the fabric from my cat#deciding to make bread In The Headphones once#i stopped her but she still left her mark 😔 but it added charm and a story to the headphones so its ok
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there’s one on here currently and they’re bringing back up old controversy (jashshipping)
Yeaa I saw that. They also seem to post a bunch of CJ related things, so I might make the daily photos one since there isn't one for just CJ screenshots/photos
#im gonna be a fait bit busy today so I cant make it rn#also wont be making it tomorrow as there's another strike happening then [ill make a post on that later too btw]#but i want there to be an account just of stuff from the vids or of the ones he posts on twitter#as for the shipping thing#i wish ppl wouldn't be so rude with things sometimes man#my stance is basically the same as CJs. interpret it however you'd like just don't show it to ppl who are uncomfortable with it#also don't harass or be a dick to people who do or don't ship it#im glad it died down since then at least & that there's not a bunch of hate going around#this fandom is simultaneously really nice to be in & also really draining sometimes#tho it definitely isn't the worse. ive been in a lot of ones that are a LOT worse than here. big & small#place is actually quite nice mostly. despite some things that deserve needing to be called out [like some of the ableism toward Heart]#I think things would be a lot better if people just let others do their own thing. as long as its not like. fuckin illegal or offense#or against CJs boundaries. just let others vibe out in there own corner#ain't that what we all said when TH purists complain about CJs covers? No ones forcing you to consume the content. is all good#just stay where you're comfortable! if anyone's forcing you to look at their stuff then they're the issue. and that goes both ways#again just listen to what the guy said. don't show it to people that don't like it. don't harass people who do it don't like it. an like#just be groovy#sorry for the rant this has just been on my mind for months now#im generally very neutral on things but i hate everyone just yellin at each other when there doesn't need to be yelling in the first place#again this place is hell of a lot better than other spaces ive been in#its a main reason this is the first fandom I've actively participated a shit ton in#im actually using discord & talking [a bit] to other ppl for once lol#idk man i like it here. Just don't make a reason for people not to like it here#again apologies for the rant op. this has just been on my mind for some time & i really don't want shit being blown up again#also apologize if anythins spelled wrong or sounds like nonsense#shitty keyboard + dyslexia + not being able to edit tags can make dumb results lol#moss rants#[atlas asks]
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