#its NOT bad and i SHOULDNT be guilty and i KNOW this

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

[caffeinatedopossum]

Being an adult and still having to get everything from someone else is so devastating to my self esteem

[dandyshucks]

starting to think maybe i should turn rbs off on that post actually bc im having heart palpitations now fdsjgjkl why is this happening to meeee

[fenhonig]

wooo yay i love feeling like im ruining my own relationship because im terrible at comforting people so i cant help her which means im a terrible partner and dont deserve her

she saved my life but ill never be good enough to do anything even a quarter as good as that for her

i just want her to be happy and to keep loving me, she treats me like a prince and i could never even think of asking for anything more, but eventually i wont be good enough and i can feel it approaching with every part of myself

i always get abandoned and its always my fault. my god why would i ever expect it to not happen again

im so sorry. my fucking god im so sorry

[mbat]

my wow subscription ran out literally earlier tonight and i let it on purpose because its my dads money and i dont wanna spend it all, and i always feel so obligated to make the most of it when i do have subscription, so i always just play the game and do basically nothing else blah blah blah

and anyway i obviously enjoy my time on the game, but i get so exhausted of it by the end of the month. i want to play other games and do other things and not have this feeling like im wasting my dads money

my brother, on the other hand, who has always been interesting about money, insists that its only 15 dollars and i simply shouldnt feel obligated to spend all my time on the game.

if it was my own money, i wouldnt care about 13-15$ a month. but its not my money. and my dad acts like if he has to spend his money on anyone but himself, that hes going to be so broke that he wont be able to afford existing until next payday. even when its not at all true.

but because theres this whole felcycle secret going on right now, my brother is INSISTING i need to get my sub back for it. i was lucky to have it for the pet battle shit, but im severely hoping there wont be anymore stuff hidden behind subscription mechanics. honestly, if there is, im probably just going to give up. fomo is a capitalist tool and i really dont feel like spending more money just to get a fictional item that i cant hold in my hands. whatever

my brother is 2 things. hes someone who doesnt know how to take no for an answer, and hes someone whos very unaware of the feelings of people around him unless its an actually serious situation.

so me saying that i hope i can finish this without needing more sub makes him respond with 'you know they dont give a single fuck about you if you arent paying them money, right? theyre totally gonna have more stuff behind the paywall and youre going to need to pay 15$ to get it. its just 15$, just get it lol' and i dont know how to express how much my insides are on fire with irritation

i try saying 'its about more than the 15$' but i know he wouldnt understand my reasons, so why bother telling

[29121996]

.

[huellitaa]

౨ৎ ⋆｡• vogue beauty secrets 🐰 ๋࣭ ⭑

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ hair

don't wash your hair every day! i think everybody knows this but i know a couple people who still dont wash their hair only 2-3 times a week. obviously it depends on ur hair type but only wash your hair when it needs it!

don't wash your hair with scalding hot water either. its not only bad for your body and face but its also bad for your hair as it ruins the natural oils and damages cells etc

if you have frizzy or easily knotted hair i recommend keeping a comb on hand in the shower and using it to detangle before putting in any products

i've been emulsifying my shampoo for only a couple of weeks but my hair is sooo much fluffier afterwards so i definitely recommend that!!

now i'm torn on this one but apparently shampooing twice is better for your hair than doing it once? i tried it one time and it did not end well for my hair type but i know it works for a lot of people so if you wanna give it a try then go for it ♡

i squeeze excess water out of my hair before i put in my conditioner so i can completely get it in there without

also change your pillow case often! this is for your face too, as the oils will build up and thats not good for ur hair or face. i change it once a week but 2x a week is good too if you're able 💓

don't go to bed with wet hair. stop doing that. its super bad for your hair and keeping it pretty & fluffy & cute

airdrying is my holy grail, been doing it since i was little and dont regret a thing. its a billion times better than blow drying & makes ur hair so fluffy too ♡

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ body

DO NOT. HAVE. THE WATER. BOILING HOT. i am guilty of this and have been for years but it has such a bad impact and you shouldnt do it! cold showers are better but i prefer warm showers so theres a middle ground (& its always cold in england, so id freeze to death.)

using body lotion after the shower has been such a game changer for me its incredible. makes you smell nice, feel nice, look nice, and its so relaxing and i feel like a princess after i do it <3

exfoliating is really important if your aim is for soft skin 💓 i have been doing it for months and as somebody with super rough skin its SO soft now

partake in some form of exercise. i hated hated hated sports and exercise when i was younger but i did do dance up until i was eleven and have been doing pilates consistently for months now, and my mindset towards it has changed drastically over the years to finally a healthy one. it can be a difficult thing to get into but make it something you enjoy. it doesn't have to be sports. ill make a post on this soon but it can be pilates, kpop dances, running, hot girl walks, anything! and most importantly, do it for mental health and physical health, not losing weight.

make sure you're eating properly. remember that 1400 to 2400 calories of nutritious substance is the MINIMUM. this of course depends on many variables including, weight, height, BMR, what it is your eating, et cetera. your body is so important & is there to be nourished and not neglected !!! ♡ (💭🎀edit: updated info on calories and nutrition from a lovely anon i received a message from this morning! ♡)

change your bedsheets every week if you wanna smell good, this is so important bc sweat and odour will build up if u dont and thats icky and wont make u smell good & probably isnt the best for your skin either!

i also put two similar body washes on in the shower that i get SO many compliments on & its really helpful if one of your priorities is smelling good

dont just wash body wash straight off, let it sit for a few moments so the scent can actually sink into ur skin

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ face

skincare every morning & every night. if ur tired or just not feeling it today then simplify it, just make sure you never leave it out because its super important! no. skipping. no work = no reward.

on this note, try not to have a too complicated skincare routine, as this can backfire and make ur skin worse than before. your skin isnt meant for 18 different products and 200 chemicals every morning!

never wash your face with hot water... this is also a given but just in case... it strips your skin of its natural oils and does more harm than good

stop touching ur face... just for those who need a little reminder

make sure ur sleeping enough. seriously disney princess movies meant it when they talked ab beauty sleep; it seriously makes a difference, so please try make this a priority, especially if you already have dark circles like myself! (like girl did you see aurora's face? my girl's skin was so clear i could see my reflection)

pay attention to what makes ur face puffy or irritated or makes you get break outs. i keep a little break out log in my skincare page in my journal (little teaser for an upcoming post 🤭) and this has helped me go over what helps or hurts my skin! i recommend this especially if ur prone to acne or breakouts 💖

cold spoons in the morning to depuff your eyes; ive only been doing this a handful of times but im making it a habit seeing as it really helps! (as someone who can get vv puffy eyes 😭)

hydration is so important, for everything in this list, but most of all (from my experience) your face! i drink A Lot of water every day. probably a bit too much. but its so worth it, my skin has been absolutely amazing ever since i started actually making hydration a priority. (and this is coming from a girl who didnt touch a drop of water when she was younger & had to go hospital for dehydration several times.)

i'd recommend scrubbing ur lips too in the morning when you brush your teeth, i saw this on pinterest aaages ago bc i had super dry lips and i do it every morning & every night RELIGIOUSLY. its so so good and i definitely recommend

i have super dry lips in the morning so lip balm in the mornings w my skincare is absolutely essential for me

i also put perfume behind my ears & on my neck so its the first thing people smell when they hug me! im a very touchy person and i love hugs and i love showing love to people so this is essential for me but its optional, just makes you smell good ♡

[butchbear-in-progress]

I'm probably not the right person to do it since my disability is relatively minor, I have no platform and I don't talk like i have a degree, but I think we need to talk about the positive effects of feedism on our perceptions of physical disability because its really something special that needs to be nurtured

So many feedists being neutral/accepting or positive about mobility issues extend that far past the fantasy of kink and into their fat liberation and general lives. I don't see nonfeedists in those spaces talking about disability as anything but unfortunate reality, even if they're disability activists too. No one but a feedist has seen a good side.

Feedist disability positivity has encouraged me to actually use my crutches, bath boards, and alter my activity levels without feeling guilty. Feedists are genuinely the only people I know that accept "I can't physically manage that today" as a non negotiable answer regardless of whether they percieve my disability as being my fault or not (I was in an accident but people make up their own story since ive gained 100+lbs since then: either way I shouldnt have to specify how i acquired it!). They dont make me feel like shit when I admit I haven't been out or exercised in a few days even if I don't go into detail about why, largely because they don't associate it 100% with negative experiences by default. It can be a good time, a fun thing, hot even*

And to be clear, I don't just mean this is a cute way. There are good and bad sides to fetishising disability aids but seeing having to use a bath board to wash as something sexy makes me not hate myself for needing it. It's not for everyone but I am not everyone

*@fernisfat once said something in a photo caption about spending the evening at home getting fatter and I've been thinking it to myself even since. I'm not wasting time, I'm spending it on one of my favourite hobbies actually.

Ps. I know plenty of feedists are ableists and not like this but I don't want to talk or think about them right now thanks

[aychama]

I need to keep reminding myself that im making the comic for me. That im telling this story because im a little crazy about it.

Im making all of this on my free time after work so I shouldnt feel guilty about not pumping out artwork after artwork.

I know so many people are waiting excitedly, so am I, but making a comic takes time and work. This whole thing is probably going to take so much longer than I think it will.

Nobody is pressuring me either so taking time for myself is not a bad thing. Even if people forget about my stuff and it doesnt get engagement its not the end of the world.

I am making this for myself. Just because I like it. Just because I enjoy creating.

[artdcnaldson]

ararararararar uuuggghhhh shes so terrible, anything to torture him back. i luv luv luv!!!!

will gladly elaborate on this, but im convinced that after this pats sister is doing everything within her power to recreate that night. every party she gets just that little bit drunker, grinds just a bit more scandalously, flirts just a bit more obviously. anything to get a rise out of him, because as much as she pretends not to with her fake tears, she loves it when he gets mean

i think one night shes had a bit too much to drink and has been flirting way too much with matt from the swim team (who btw looks an awful lot like art... but hes to caught up in his jealousy to bother with that rn). this time art isnt dealing with her shit, he just walks over and puts her over his shoulder, telling her its bedtime. right in the middle of matts sentence, talking about the upcoming swim meet or something, she really wasnt listening. shes making more of a fuss about it than usual, complaining about him being controlling, and really shouldnt he just be happy that youre trying to fuck someone other than him!!!! isnt this what he wanted!!!! (they both know its not lol)

i think she lets it slip, she forgets that she was supposed to have been blackout drunk and clueless, but she begs him to let her see his pretty cock again. youll show him yours if he shows you his :))) drunkenly slurring it out when shes sitting on his bed. i think he would get so pissed at her for making him feel so guilty for so long. hes felt like a huge creep, a perv, felt like he had taken advantage of her. when in reality she really is just a spoiled brat and a desperate slut.

i need him to like slap me in the heat of the moment, not super hard of anything but just right across my cheek. i need him to feel so bad right away, ready to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness. he doesnt know what came over him, hes never done anything like that before. and then i need his eyes to darken when he realized my only reaction is a loud moan and telling him to pls do it again, harder. :))))

-🐞

GODDDDDD I actually like had a physical reaction to this it’s so serious.

You know you fucked up the second you say it, when you’re sitting on his bed looking up at him and you see the recognition in his eyes. Sobers you up real fucking quick. And there’s nothing to say, so you’re just quiet, practically holding your breath.

It stings when his hand slaps across your cheek, and your eyes fill with water and you’re holding onto the hot stinging skin like, oh!

And in an instant he’s literally on his knees in front of you, big hands wrapped around your knees as he apologizes again and again and again.

“I’m so sorry, that was— there’s no fucking excuse,” he’s stammering, mumbling, feels like he might puke over it. Because he hit you. And he’s never felt so awful in his life. He’s the worst kind of person— he let his anger take over into pure basal instincts.

But then your legs are parting, you moan softly when his grip on your knees tightens. “‘S okay, Art,” you assure. “Do it again. Punish me for lying, for being a slut and letting you feel guilty about it. Hit me harder.”

It only makes him angrier, makes all of the guilt wash away. He grabs your jaw tight, makes you whimper. “You’re fucking disgusting.” You nod, agreeing. You’d agree with whatever he’d say, honestly. He pops your cheek again, makes a soft moan escape your lips.

He shouldn’t like it as much as he does. But god, you make him feel insane. He squeezes your jaw in his grip, makes your eyes widen at the pressure and sting, then drops you completely. You collapse back onto his bed, still holding your cheek.

“I’m serious, this is the last fucking time I put up with you,” he says, but even he doesn’t believe it. He’s still seething as he turns out the lights, as he sleeps on the pile of blankets he had laid out on the floor anticipating you coming back to his dorm anyway.

You stay awake, pretend not to hear him fisting his cock beneath the blankets, pretending he doesn’t groan your name muffled into the pillows when he cums.

[ganondoodle]

something i didnt say over here but probably should-

i, in truth, dont know if im actually as annoying or "childish" or aggressive as i feel like im being

i feel like, i got a uniquely bad case of autism obsession and over-emotionality, constantly guilty for feeling so much, like me failing to keep my own emotions under control is purely a failure on my part, like i shouldnt feel this much, i am not allowed to feel like this, no one else seems to fail it like i do, over and over again i get overwhelmed by my own feelings and even if it isnt a full breakdown-

(meltdown? which i think is soemthing else and honestly ..... i do not want to have ever again, its the ultimate loss of control where i dont even feel like im piloting my own body, like im possessed by something, which is not really something that happens online, that is a thing that happens to me rarely in real life)

- i still feel so overwhelmingly stupid, like you jsut watched yourself turn into a toddler screaming bloody murder bc mom didnt buy the thing you wanted, and then are suddendly back to yourself but to everyone else you didnt change at all so everyone looks at you like you just lost your mind over nothing and thats just how you are normally

that together with being online and people likely seeing only a fraction of who you are, plus my tendency to ... be like this mostly when im not liking something just .... makes me feel so damn guilty, maybe something like public shame too? or the old problem of feeling like a burden?

i dont know, i cant seem to imagine people can see me like that and not be annoyed or weirded out by it, especially when they only realyl see that side of me, and i feel so damn guilty for it, the class weirdo who randomly starts to cry over seemingly nothing like i have always been, and i shouldnt be, i should have grown and gotten better and be in control at all times by now i just ... "havent tried hard enough"

[heister-shmeister]

houston is a kleptomaniac.

you could argue everyone in the payday gang is but i feel like for houston it is serious. people in the safehouse ask where a trinket of theirs went and its always in the garage. dallas had to set up a lost and found in the living room for everyone to come grab things houston stole. nothing he needed or even wanted, nothing he even planned to keep. he just cant stop himself from reaching over and grabbing a tape from jackets collection, no intention to play it. it is irresistible to grab a hockey puck from the rink with no plan to play. a marker from sydney's corner, a controller from joy's van, a pen from clover's desk, a glass from the bar. its especially ironic considering how possessive he is of his own belongings.

luckily a lot of the time he doesnt steal anything personal. its not whether or not the item is personal that makes him want to steal it. just the fact that its there. its so easy. he could do it right now- look he just did it. wanna see him do it again? sometimes though it does go too far. he never knows the sentimental value of the item. he just sees it lying unattended and cant help but pocket it. he doesnt look through it, just sets it in the garage like everything else. someone yells about how they cant find it and houston deals with their wrath and cant give an answer for why he even did it in the first place.

everywhere dallas went in his younger years he had a little bandit on his tail. he had to smooth talk his way out of altercations with adults on his brothers behalf, explaining every time that he just doesnt know better. takes the hit for houston and says it was him that took it. houston kept getting into trouble over tiny little things.

it started off when he did want something. wanting a chocolate bar from the corner store and having nimble enough hands to take it. then he registers how easy it was. its become muscle memory to reach for something and take it. an impulse he cant control. it isnt like he wants the object itself. he tells himself "i shouldnt do this" but before his neurons process the command, hes already stolen something. even from places houston knows he shouldnt steal from. he sits out on group activities like the farmer's market, conventions, et cetera. just because he knows he'll wind up stealing something.

its not like him to regret taking things. it really depends on the thing and the location. at walmart he will pocket whatever is around the register. he faces away from the camera and uses his body to shield the view before grabbing something all within seconds. he does it like a routine. he dresses in loose hoodies and cargo pants to places not just for comfort, but for the deep pockets.

he felt bad for a long time during retirement for still stealing. but he cant help himself. it hurt not to do it. it oddly felt more like he would be caught if he didnt steal it, so his hands act before he can think and he is relieved. then guilty again. then feels anticipation, relief, guilt. anticipation, relief, guilt. anticipation, assault, control.

its the reason he wound up in prison. he was retired. he had all the money he needed and no reason to wish for more. he was comfortable and capable of being a normal civilian after everything finally came to an end. but then he saw a bank open up, or heard about a new museum exhibit. whatever he was doing.

he told himself he shouldnt do it. itd only get him into more trouble. he wasnt sure whether or not he wanted to return to the life he had growing up. he felt relief finally being out of it, then felt empty without it. was a thief all that he was? who was he if not a rogue? it hurts not to do it.

he told himself he shouldnt do it, but before his neurons could even process the command, he was already planning it out. meticulously mapping routes on his own on a corkboard, putting on his best suit and punching numbers into a keypad. hes thorough. hes nimble. hes stealthy. he never forgets anything, right?

the question of why remains. is it former substance abuse? gambling addiction? a lack of dopamine? the adrenaline rush? bad habit?

why cant he stop himself? are his hands physically working against him? deep down is he just a selfish thief? no matter how much guilt he feels for it, is it perhaps true that he is just a selfish, greedy thief?

he has no idea.

[ironnumber1fanboy]

How Childes trial made no sense and forced him into being a plot device(From a Childe nr1 stan)

As my goats(Iron) fan, i have to yap just like her I want to start off by saying that seeing the 4.0 trailer i was the happiest man to have ever lived, seeing Childe being involved and finally seeing him since 2.2 However, this all came crashing down at the end of 4.0-4.2. If this gets any positive reception ill yap about the whole fontaine plot and why its so bad in relation to Childe. THE COURT TRIAL

As we can see in the entire conversation, Childe is very well aware of how the court rules go beforehand, yet he only asks to challenge Clorinde in the middle of the trial. Childe is not a dumb idiot, he obviously would have asked her to duel in character.

You might say he wanted to participate in the trial and clear his name but we know thats not what happens. In fact, Childe doesnt listen to Neuvilette, doesnt care about the incident he is accused of and just challenges Furina and Clorinde to spar. But it doesnt stop there. No you see, the second and the biggest problem is the verdict at the end

Guilty Foxtaru(look at this cute loser)

There are SO many problems but lets go over them one by one 1)Neuvilette even at the end of goddamn 4.2 has no answers!

Something that Mihoyo has an issue with definetely is apparent in Childes character-and thats setting up lore that you dont fulfill or leave ambiguous.Even after us as players waited 2 whole patches for an answer- we didnt get one and we CANT get one cause Focalor is dead.

2) and 3)Neuvilettes hypotheticals that he makes at the end

2)Focalor isnt dumb to just make the first call so i wont even bother elaborating why that assumption Neuv made cant be right 3)Is the juicy one, but also with more plotholes. Let me elaborate

-It makes no sense Focalor would somehow know Childe is gonna fight the whale(especially for that long) in the first place, at best its a guessing game

-Childes connection to the whale is something she shouldnt have any knowledge on

-Her being able to foresee all that, yet Celestia or Verdafonyr or hell even Skirk were NOT able to see/know him fighting the Narvhal in fontaine and changing Fontaines destiny. If Focalor had such level of insight and power that scales above all these characters, there would be no need for a diversion

Closing thoughts I hope i explained well why the trial never made any sense- From Childe acting out of character to Focalor being omniscient and knowing more than Celestia,Visionary and Skirk about Childe. It was merely just writers not knowing how to write him being in the Fortress and meeting the whale.

[idoridiculousstuff]

Why is the Klaus conjuring the dead for the woman in season 4 such an ignored scene? And of course, what happened between Luther and Allison in season 3. (If it wasnt ignored, im very sorry but i dont see much people talking about it in my side of the internet)

Warning: mentions of SA, the r word that rhymes with grape

I hate to write something about this, but on some other platforms, the sexual assault scenes that happened were somehow ignored. Both Luther and Klaus are sexual assaulted in the show.

First of all, Luther was assaulted and forcibly made to kiss Allison when she used her powers on him. Second, Klaus' body was used for sexual purposes by the woman that asked him to conjure someone for her.

To begin, I honestly don't get how people still feel the same way about Allison after that scene. Since she is an assaulter, and she didn't even feel guilty or said sorry to Luther. I know that in the comics that Allison was already a bad person, but the show version Allison's can still be a great person since she seemed so guilty for using her power for everything. Then.... the SA happened.

Allison humoured Luther, and then Luther kissed Allison (against his will since her power controls people's minds)

I loved Allison before, but holy shit she was honestly a shitty person. I can never justify her actions and even defend her.

After s3, s4 happened and Klaus was soon assaulted by that woman.

Klaus, who, I think, was trafficked and became a person who conjured dead people, met a new customer, who soon assaulted him. I think I remember someone in another platform (i think tiktok) saying that scene was attractive...

.. Its not.

He was obviously assaulted and even (i think) raped by the woman. He never agreed about doing sexual things while the ghost possessed his body.

Anyway, in conclusion, Klaus and Luther are victims and are overlooked as of now. I see some people already talking about it though :-)

(since some weirdos still cant differentiate actors between their characters, the people who played the assaulters shouldnt be attacked (i love emmy sm))

[mynameisnotsoda]

I'm probably gonna be yelling into the void but here's my refs of my favorite burs !!!! I would say bursonas but one of them is literally just my au,,,, can you tell which one it is,,

Anyway here's some hcs and stuff it's gonna be a long post LMAO I'm just copying all this stuff from Instagram cause I practically live on that shit ass app

Simpbur

He LOVES Hatsune Miku.. like LOVE LOVES HER. He owns so much fuckin merch it's actually insane. But he has never once in his life listened to vocaloid and probably never will. Hes just in love with Miku LMAO

He's aromantic bc I said so !!!!! But he doesn't know that, he hasn't really figured it out and he confuses his obsession with love.

Him and Jared actually used to be friends back when they were like middle schoolers. But then Jared got "hot and cool" and he kinda drifted away from Simp. Mostly cause Simp was SO FUCKING JEALOUS!!!!! and it was obvious too. Imagine how devastated he was when egirl started dating his old friend lmaooo what a loser

Him and e-girl started dating when they were 17, both of them were in pretty bad places in their lives so they just,,, clung onto each other. Both of them were codependent but Simp was significantly worse with his codependency. Adrianne (my name for e-girl) was the one who broke it off when they were both in their early 20s

His stupid little cat beanie is his comfort item !!!! He wears it ALL THE TIME and hates having to take it off, although he would never go out in public with it. He's got some issues with presenting the way he wants to in public so he literally just goes out in his work uniform regardless if he's working or not

Grabs him and aggressively shakes him around !!! Hes autistic (I'm autistic I can give him the tism) his special interests are anime and video games :33

He's definitely not cishet but he tries SOOO hard to present as such (shout-out to @starrixle for that hc ive adopted it for my version of simp)

Studentbur

He's bi but heavily in denial like DEEP DEEP in denial

He HATES being tall !!! He wishes he was shorter because his height makes him stand out a lot and that's the LAST thing he wants

He prays literally every night before bed. Mostly asking for forgiveness (which he shouldnt have to ask for) because he thinks he's a horrible person just for being himself

He CLINGS onto Charlie, they're not like super close friends or anything but he LOVES Charlie. He looks up to Charlie a lot and WISHES he had his confidence and sense of self :')

He doesn't like Tommy, he thinks Tommy's too loud and disrespectful and hates how much attention he attracts. So he tends to just avoid him even if they're in the same classes

He absolutely regrets smoking with Bill and Ranboo but he also feels INCREDIBLY GUILTY for wanting to do it again (because he actually had fun and was able to relax for a moment)

He LOVES emo rock, indie, modern rock and other similar genres. His parents are really strict so he has to listen to his music in secret and ALWAYS has his earbuds on him, its a comfort item too. His three favorite bands are MCR, Ghost and Radiohead :]

The only game he was ever allowed to play was and still is Minecraft. He LOVES Minecraft but at the same time he desperately wishes to be able to play other games

He fucking LOVES GOING TO PUBLIC SCHOOL !!!!! he used to be in a Christian school but it gave him so much anxiety he was physically ill every single day and he just couldn't take it anymore!!!! To his surprise his parents actually agreed to let him go to public school during his sophomore year and he's been there ever since (now hes a senior)

Charlie is really his only friend, he's tried talking to other kids but he's horribly awkward and socially inept. Charlie basically adopted him and takes care of him like a brother !!!! Even if they're not super close Charlie's always looking out for him and tries to include him with his friends even tho Stu declines most the time :((

Keith Smith

HIS WIFE LEFT HIM AND TOOK THE KIDS TOO 😭😭😭 he's still trying to find her but he's slowly losing hope and he's really considering just giving up

He's basically the "king" of the end, even though he's not actually the ruler, it was his wife. But since she's GONE he basically had to take her place, until he finds a new wife or convinces her to come back if he ever found her (the end is a matriarchy)

He's kind of insufferable why do you think his wife left him

He has two kids, Lune (pronounced like loon) and Sunny. He LOVES his kids and is actually a really great dad despite being kind of an ass and fucking annoying. He misses them a lot and it breaks his heart that he might not be able to see them ever again

Dr. Malpractice

He's a geneticist specifically experimenting with mob/human hybrids.

His experiments are NOT ETHICAL AT ALL!!! He does whatever tf he wants whenever he wants. His only healthy, surviving test subjects are Phil (enderman), Tommy (spider), Charlie (creeper) and Quackity (duck). (He also experiments on my sona,, that I added for funsies,, but they weren't created by him he just happened to find them one day more on that later)

He's actually trying to make humans more powerful in a way, because they're the weakest humanoid species of them all. He wants to "save" humanity from their own biological inferiority and doesn't care how long it takes or how much damage he causes to others so long as he reaches his goal. Because he's fucking delusional and thinks he's doing something good

He even experimented on his kid, Fundy, and he didn't make it. He has a,,, complicated relationship with what happened to Fundy. On one hand the guilt eats away at him constantly, on the other he brushes it off as just another failed experiment since in the long run,, the ends justify the means in his mind

So far his deceased test subjects include Fundy, Niki, George, and Toby (Tubbo). His only escaped subject was Randy (Ranboo) and he's so fucking paranoid that somehow he'd be able to get the authorities to stop his experiments. But it's been months since Ran escaped and nothing's happened so he isn't AS paranoid anymore, but he still worries about it

He names all the test subjects himself, it's easier for him to remember than numbers because he has dyscalculia funnily enough

All the test subjects were made in his lab with stolen DNA so he didn't have to use his own. He basically grew them in tubes and used a rapid growth serum in the tanks to make everyone adult sized since it was easier to run tests that way. He accidentally left Phil cookin for too long so he's the oldest out of everyone LMAO (except for Dr mal himself, he's 37)

Ok so onto the cringe part !!!! cSoda is a shapeshifter, shapeshifters are VERY rare and often hide themselves because they're very sought after to hunt for sport or used for various reasons. They're basically "born" from the planet itself, they grow in pockets underground for many years and kinda just pop up when they're ready. (Think of like. Steven Universe gems but organic) cSoda is erm undercooked let's say LMAO because they popped up early in their development they're basically defective. They age (albeit slowly), their body scars, they can't regrow limbs properly, their shapeshifting is limited to only animals/people they've SEEN before and they are incredibly naive and have a harder time understanding/learning about the world.

Dr. Mal found cSoda (no idea how yet) and he normally wouldn't have cared but he saw their shapeshifting and immediately decided to "take them in". He takes advantage of their naivety and basically brainwashed them into thinking he cares for them. cSoda presents as a dog (more lore I don't feel like getting into rn) so they have the personality traits of one as well, very loyal and loving and INCREDIBLY affectionate. Which Dr Mal HATES.

If it weren't for the fact that cSoda is more useful to him while alive he probably would've just killed them because he's CONSTANTLY annoyed and irritated by them LMAO he wants to be able to replicate their shapeshifting and hopes that it might be able to help him achieve his goal

c!Wilbur

He fucking LOVES working the burger van with Ranboo, it gives him something to do and he actually enjoys spending time with them even after initially not really liking them. He thinks Ranboo is SO interesting and loves to analyze everything he says and does pFF

HE FUCKING. APOLOGIZED TO TOMMY!!!!! FOR EVERYTHING !!! HE WANTS TO DO AND BE BETTER FOR HIM AND HAVE A BETTER RELATIONSHIP!!!! HE LOVES HIS BROTHER SO MUCH AND IS TRYING TO BE BETTER AT SHOWING THAT RAAHH

He fucking REEKS no matter how much he showers or uses deodorant. It'll help with the intensity of the smell but he just reeks of death bc he was rotting !!!! he also smells like cigarettes and alcohol which does mask the rot and is actually preferable by most people (especially Quackity, who's VERY vocal about how much Wilbur stinks)

Tinybur

He's REALLY clingy, like he NEEDS someone to be holding him at all times. Normally it's Tommy (who's so obviously his favorite even tho he denies it)

It doesn't remember being human for the most part but he does miss it, especially being a normal height

He HATES when people baby him, he's a grown man who just happens to be child sized. If you talk down to him he WILL be an asshole

It was surprised when people started referring to him as an "it" but he kinda liked it !! It doesn't have the same feelings about its gender since becoming a doll and he thinks it's kinda weird but cool at the same time. It really is just vibin

It's voice is high pitched and he kinda hates it, its gotten used to it but it doesnt really like how its voice changed

Animatronic!Wilbur

He's so fucking annoying and is always flirting with parents for whatever reason. He fucking LOVES if they get flustered too it boosts his ego

He's SOO jealous of Ranboo its kind of embarrassing. He thinks he should be the lead singer and mascot but doesn't vocalize it, although he does make it painfully obvious

He's the lead guitarist and back up vocalist in the band (Tommy plays keytar, Ranboo is lead singer and James is the bassist)

He's actually really fucking insecure despite being a fan favorite. One time someone left their phone and it didn't have a password so he was able to use the internet which was. A mistake. He's seen the horrors of the Beloved Ent. Fandom and he thinks people only like him because he was made to be the "attractive one" and not because he actually has anything of substance.

He fucking HATES Schlatt with a passion, so he avoids the bowling alley entirely now. Jimmy (solidarity) used to be the bowling mascot but he was too fragile and a push over with guests so they replaced him with Schlatt. Who's nice enough to guests but does have a bit of a temper and doesn't take ANYONES bullshit. Wilbur was actually really close with Jimmy and he misses him terribly :(

Can you tell who I have more brainrot for LMAO

[syscultureis]

plural culture is lowkey hoping to get an introject of your comfort character but then feeling guilty bc u know thats not how the disorder works and u shouldnt want to gain a new alter- plus ur in sys partner has source trauma from them and is uncomfy with him even being brought up and u dont wanna put them in a bad situation but you still feel like they would be so helpful and its just an endless cycle of hoping and guilt/neg

(also srry if im spamming u w asks ://)

No I get it

Having this disorder can be hard, it's natural to hope that it does something that would benefit you

I don't want new alters, but if we're going to get new alters I would like them to be someone that already brings me comfort

Meeting knew people is terrifying to me, I have really bad social anxiety, and that applies to my alters as well. I've found it easier to connect with fictives and open up around them, because I feel like I already know them and have to mask less around them

Of course they aren't always there source, and I don't treat them like quirky little guys that are only here for my benefit

But I do still find myself sometimes thinking "I really wish we had __ fictive" because I want to be closer to that character and be comforted by them, and that's the only way that could actually come close to happening

I always feel guilty for these thoughts too, but I've found that they're gonna come with the disorder