#cw: vent

[shhquietmoths]

feeling some kind of way lately cw: blood, cartoon violence/gore

[mosovi-vian]

Tired.

Season 3 only made birdman even more special to me. I see myself a lot in Hunter, and while it could just be me projecting I really think his behavior in the past two specials reflects where I am in my own healing journey. The one step forward two steps back then two step forward one step back part of his recovery stage in life hits home. I guess this is vent art?? Abuse recovery is a bitch, and new trauma can always form even when you're making progress. I think that's why Flapjack's death really stuck with me. This is a time in Hunter's life when resiliency is especially needed, and I'm glad that Willow and his friends will be there to support him through it. This character has given me a lot of insight into my own past experiences and inspires me to reach out to find my people in the world, and I cannot thank Dana and the crew enough for the show.

[johnathancactus]

just putting this here bc im feeling a bit frustrated with myself right now & talking at nobody helps

cw: not eating enough, & thusly not feeling great; general health; body health; venting

i always feel bad about being so concerned about my health when everybody says im healthy bc i know im not--for context: i probably have arfid & have big issues w food texture to the point where i struggle to eat much of any meat/protein & other vitamins

in the past (before i started taking vitamins & iron supplements) i used to always be dead tired. i knew i wasnt depressed but it was more just that i could barely make my body do anything?? it even got so bad once that i couldnt move my arms for like 3 minutes (which was fucking terrifying bc it came out of nowhere). i used to feel like i was hollow--like there was nothing behind my face but skin & bones. i used to feel sick looking at my body bc i felt like i looked more like a skeleton than a person. i lowkey felt like my body was corroding & eating itself--i wasnt dying but it felt like it

so i was like "oh shit" & started taking vitamins & iron (even though my doctor said my blood work was fine??), and stopped feeling quite as much like death, yay! but even still im usually exhausted & feel like shit... like i still struggle to eat enough and its just frustrating bc i dont want to talk to people about it a ton? i have a bad habit of obessng over my health (prob bc i dont usually feel awesome) & i get by enough to where i seem fine? sometimes im not even sure if im just making this bigger in my head (granted, while im typing this my hands are shaking bc i havent been getting enough to eat lmao) but most people think im making it a big deal? idrk man... like i know i get anxious, & my doctor keeps telling me that im fine, but i still usually feel like shit (not like im dying any more, though! win!)... like people tell me i need to stop worrying about my health but like idfk.... its hard to not worry when i feel like im in the lowest possible bit of qualifying as "normally healthy".... ugh

like i qualify as "fine", but if i eat a meal too late my abdomen becomes concave?? like i know this is a Thing, but it happens to me pretty regularly which makes me tweak tf out because like??? is that realy normal????

its also hard because as a woman, people always go "omg ur so skinny!!! ur so pretty <3 <3 i wish i had ur body!!!" (i'm 5'8" & 104 lbs) because i feel so guilty for wanting to gain weight? i should want this right? like so may people want to be like me--even though i feel sick & dead all the time... like you shouldnt want this--or should i not want to change? sometimes i wonder if i should give up bc it took me 2 years to gain 10lbs...

maybe i just should talk to my therapist about it sometime instead of my ocd idfk... i just want to feel Healthy again.. i feel like its been years since ive felt energized and alive... since i havent felt like i could die if i ended up missing a meal... since i havent been able to see my hip bones stick out like im dying (looking at them makes me feel sick to my stomach)... since i havent felt as if my own body was eating itself... ugh

[loony2star]

Random vent piece I finally decided to finish despite not being that proud of it

[drowning-in-cabbages]

Loyal Fucking Dog

The piece is meant to look unfinished and messy because it is a vent

Vent below the cut. If you don't want to read it, enjoy my Vanitas art

Drew this picture because of my current anxiety over the future. I'm unfortunately one of the people living under Flonald Dump within the USA. I'm scared for my reproductive rights as someone with female anatomy.

I'm tired of hearing the statement "we'll get through the next 4 years together" because it doesn't do anything for me. I've heard it so many times from my mom who doesn't stay anything against the Propaganda Machine that is my dad, even though I know she doesn't believe what he says.

My dad who believes the lies the people in the government tell him and then feeds it to my brother who is also believing his words. He eats Ben Shapiro's and the Daily Wire's words like a meal from the best restaurant around.

I can't say anything without him telling me I'm wrong for not having evidence without having any evidence for his claims. I feel like I'm always in a 2 on 1 argument with him and my brother while my mom bows her head and says nothing.

And when the arguments are over, he acts like nothing happened.

And I have barely a support system because I no longer have a therapist for my diagnosed anxiety because of school. Having ADHD in here is hard enough because my dad doesn't believe it and won't let me get an autism diagnosis (which I'm pretty sure I need) because he thinks it's just to sell medicine.

So, without therapy which I'm sure I could get (but without a driver's license yet, that nulls any option besides zoom, but i don't want anyone in this family overhearing me), or medicine for anxiety or ADHD, I'm left to roll through the next 4 years crying at midnight because it's the only time I get the house to myself for peace and quiet.

I hate that we're only 4 days into hell and I'm already feeling hopeless. I'm scared that if I go to sleep, all my rights will have been silently cut out of existence and that I'll be forced to go to my 7-3 shift working customer service and doing my schoolwork for college like nothing happened.

Everything is moving too fast to take any sort of break from it all unless I'm dissociating in a video game. And if I dare to stop playing my game for more than 10 minutes than the world around me will come crashing down, revealing its ugly truths and I won't be able to do anything but watch and stare.

I feel so hopeless.

[brunchrodent]

Get armed up.

Get armed and train.

If you are marginalized, now’s not the time to be playing the “oh no we should be peaceful” card. Get fucking armed up.

If you are unable to get a firearm because of things like diagnosed suicidal ideation, look up alternatives to firearms for defense.

A bat, a brick, a stick, a knife, a bow, a truncheon of any type, YOUR OWN FISTS! ANYTHING!

Just get it, practice, learn how to defend yourself. We are entering an era of jackassery that is filled with piss smelling morons who WILL NOT HESITATE to try and hurt you or kill you.

I will fucking defend each and every one of you with my goddamn life, do the same for your neighbor. I DONT WANT TO OPEN MY LOCAL NEWS AND SEE THAT ANY OF YOU HAVE BEEN VICTIMIZED BY SOME FUCKWIT WHO CANT HANDLE THAT YOU EXIST.

I LOVE YOU.

I RESPECT YOU.

[jjinx1998]

xxtc-96xx Callout post

To start I want you to know I didn't want things to have to come to this but after recent developments and discussions from others I cannot ignore what's been going on for years now. This is a problem revolving around the user @xxtc-96xx , the comic Endertale, and the Undertale fandom. I will try to explain what I know and offer proof when I can, but there might be some sloppiness as this is my first real post on Tumblr. If there is any technical issues about this post, please let me know so I can fix it.

Let me start from the beginning. I have been a long time fan of xxtc-96xx since about 2016 (I will refer to them as TC to make it easier). I have enjoyed looking at the art they create for many years, mainly the ones revolving around Endertale.

Endertale is a fan comic that TC made of the game Undertale. It's a very decent story with a pleasant art style. I would recommend it but I cannot and I will get to why. You see TC has suffered from something that just about any creator can relate to, burnout. The most recent comic page being posted in 2021 though there was already a hiatus established before that.

While they made it long clear that they needed to go on break for personal reasons, people wanted to ask for when they will continue it. Some of them calm and reasonable and other's were very much not nice. TC answered them honestly at first.

Then it started to devolve into troll responses or just not answering.

Not just on Tumblr but people kept asking on Deviantart as well. In fact people are still asking today in 2024. It has gotten so frequent that TC felt it necessary to change their profile header to this:

And it has stayed that way for so long I lost track of when it started. To be fair, even I found the frequent questions to be overwhelming and they just like every artist who makes stuff for free is entitled to take a break from their work. However this post isn't a complaint about how long it takes to finish a comic, it's about something that started because of the wait.

See, their original reason to take a break was because they were too busy with personal matters for them to commit to an actual comic. But as their history up to today has shown that's no longer a valid excuse. As time went on they started to show an interest in the Pokemon fandom. specifically the pokemon known as Mewtwo. To make a long story short, what started as small doodles grew into a whole bunch of fancomics and animations. To compare, they have drawn nearly four times as many Pokemon drawings compared to Undertale. Now, it is perfectly fair and acceptable to find an interest in a different fandom. And while I personally prefer Undertale over Pokemon I completely supported their decision to focus on other fandoms and enjoyed what they made. I also understood their issues with the fandom at the time, some people were rather aggressive, rude, or demanding the comic to be completed, a comic that's completely free that they make no profit out of. I even recall one point they tried to unsuccessfully drag a different content creator into this issue as if it would somehow work.

However I started to notice they had a warped perception on the fandom. Rather than blame the few people that harassed them online with constant asks, they believed that the entire fandom as a whole is to blame as declared it all toxic. Something they insist on repeating to all their fans and making them believe their opinion as fact.

Now for the record I am very aware of how toxic this fandom was and can be at times. I was around since the beginning and have seen just about every drama that has come. From the fans harassing you for not doing the pacifist route in the first time playing, people arguing if either Frisk or Chara is a really bad person, arguing over Frisk's and Chara's gender, is genocide the right choice, is Toriel the bad guy or Asgore, and a controversy revolving around a certain creator of the au Glitchtale (the last one TC coincidentally emulates their "Delay work for one week for every ask" and finds it amusing). I know this fandom is not the best but I love it all the same, it's as much a part of my life as it is for TC. I know I am not perfect at showing my interest for Undertale, as this image of a private ask shows.

Or this time I made a obviously joke ask and apparently I didn't realize a lot of people don't understand sarcasm.

Or when I tried to ask this sincere and nonaggressive question, one of the few times TC isn't putting up some kind of attitude.

Or this other ask from me.

At the end of the day this is just a comic. No one has any right to demand them to continue it or make death threats, this is completely unacceptable. However, at the same time this doesn't mean the creator should dehumanize the entire fandom or punish the few that are being respectful. They wait and what do they get, people mocking them and bullying them. That's what I realized in the past week when I engaged in the comments of a few posts. TC allow their fans to bully the fandom.

I tried to be as calm and reasonable as I can and yet I get called out as a toxic fan. And in the end did TC scold everyone else, no, they basically told me to shut up. I overestimated the fans intelligence and if they could handle basic logic, read the comments for yourself to see my point. As someone with Asperger and anger issues, it's a god given miracle I am still trying to maintain my composure within this insanity that has been going on for years. I have spoken with several content creators who asked to remain anonymous about this entire fiasco and we have similar conclusions about TC.

TC has been through a lot of painful and hurtful comments over the years that they did not deserve in the slightest. They are entitled to do whatever they want with their comic and works. Saying a fandom is or isn't toxic is unhelpful as you fundamentally miss the mark on how fandom culture works. As a creator, it is not right to hang this hiatus over people's heads and string them along. TC does not respect their Undertale fans in the slightest and mocks those who is still waiting. They indirectly encourage their other fans to bully and dehumanize the rest.

I held back on making a comment about all this for two reasons. One, TC's fandom terrifies me. They are complete smug hypocrites who spend way too much time on the internet that they don't realize that if they use their words in real life they will get punched in the face for it. Two, despite everything I still believe that TC can change. I like to believe the best in everyone and that there is hope that maybe this time TC will realize they have become the very thing they hate. That hope has faded to cinders. I'm done with TC, my only concern is the people remaining to wait for the comic.

To everyone who is waiting for Endertale and/or following TC because you like their Undertale stuff, leave them and never come back. They do not respect you, they look down on you, they laugh watching you wait, you deserve better than them. Even if they do finish the comic eventually it will not be made out of love or passion.

DO NOT harass and bully them because of my words. I will not tolerate any attempt to do so.

My final words are for TC if they even decide to read this:

TC, I know we are not friends, you made that clear long ago but I was hoping we could've been. You were a huge inspiration for me in the past and was what pushed me to attempt learning about art. I looked up to you and tried to support you when you were feeling down. You are no longer that person.

You do not have the right to condemn an entire fandom as toxic and declare it as a fact of life. It's people like you that keep the fandoms so divided to this day. It's because of people like you I am scared for my life if I ever mention Undertale in public. Your fixation on the sins of the past prevents us from moving forward. I do not excuse what happened but the past is in the past, get over it and grow up, you are an adult so act like it.

You say you don't owe us any comic or works, well at the same time if you want to mistreat the fandom I care about then I or anybody don't owe you any respect yet I did for nearly five years.

Why? Because I cared about how this all made you feel. What do you see when you look at me, another obsessed toxic fan who should keep their mouth shut or a PERSON with their own thoughts feelings and beliefs?

One of your problems is that you think nothing ever seems to be your fault, just the fans who keep asking. Well maybe they wouldn't have asked if you didn't leave them hanging for almost five years. To me, it no longer matters if you finish Endertale or not.

Maybe you still think it isn't your fault, then that makes me the idiot for hoping you can be better. You hurt me, really hurt me. I don't think I can ever trust someone like you again.

Do you know what I really want?

Your apology. I want you to make a genuine apology to me and the fandom at your actions over the years. I won't block you because being the idiot I am I hope my words mean something to you and you'll want to chat.

But until you wise up ask yourself this familiar question,

Do you really think you are above consequences?

[system-venting]

i don't know if you guys are still active or not, but if you are, i'm going insane right now and have nowhere else to go, so hi.

im losing my fucking mind. i'm splitting very badly and am in the middle of a BPD episode, so take everything I say with a grain of salt, but FUCK man.

our partner system got mad at us for making a friend. not even somebody we talk to necessarily, just a mutual. they *flipped* out on us and lost their minds, and are currently still flipping out on us as we speak, despite it having been over a day now.

i don't fucking get it. they have friends. why cant we have friends?? our relationship is already weird because we're minors with a three year age gap (us on the lower end of it, being 14). it's easy to make us uncomfortable because we have trauma and are paranoid we're being groomed and controlled, and they *know* of this paranoia and still do this kind of shit where they very blatantly try to control us.

ive brought this up with them, I told them it made us uncomfortable as soon as it happened and tried to communicate it, but they immediately shut us down and explained how we were somehow in the wrong for "waking them up to that." waking you up to WHAT?? I didn't give you any devastating news, I told you we MADE A FRIEND. CRAZY FUCKING CONCEPT, I KNOW.

i don't even know what to do with them at this point. I'm stuck comforting them after they threw us into an episode and trauma response. I honestly am just appalled that they're acting this way. this is something we've talked to them about a number of times and they continue to do it. gross.

We are still active- well one mod is, the other mod's system is going through smth so they can't handle the vent page. Anyhow-

We.. honestly understand that situation, and it is really difficult. We were lucky enough to get them to mostly listen, and when they started up again our protector was plain out like "nope. Bye. Goodbye. No more of this.". It's.. difficult to get out of, but I wish you the best, if anything you could try to break up but obviously I know its hard and isnt always on the table for most.

Also, Not to make it worse, but it might be grooming. Our system was groomed by someone three years older than us and they mainly would manipulate and gaslight or guilt trip, and honestly your situation reminds us of our own

Grooming by definition is:

"Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a person [typically young but can be any age] so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them. Children and young people who are groomed can be sexually abused, exploited or trafficked. Anybody can be a groomer, no matter their age, gender or race."

[esotericdivinity]

Vague venty thing don't mind it

Man do I feel shitty about today. My brother asking if Santa missed us, my mom being angry and upset for Christmas. It's literally not even 8am and I'm already dealing with that?? My brother is never grateful for what he gets and this year is no exception. We're fucking homeless for Christmas and it actually sucks. This actually sucks. I have already been yelled at multiple times by my mother. I am done with today already and it's barely even begun! I wish I was anywhere else right now. We don't have shit for family to go to. We're gonna try to celebrate christmas with someone else later but like. What's it going to be like until then? Fuck. I'm going to try to keep a positive outlook and a happy exterior but good god. This is fucking insane. I despise holidays sometimes and right now is one such time.

[imonthenoflylist]

Does anyone else break out in tears because they have to leave the house or is that just me?

[diamondfan1332]

I never even got to say goodbye...

I rarely post on this site. I rather look at art but I feel like just saying this:

I might start saying depressive topics so read at your own risk

I originally thought I was going to get over the monk blog getting deleted but the truth is, I still feel down. Not to mention that I felt sick to my stomach. @thunder-opossum, if you're reading this, I do not wish to offend you or your followers. I just wanted to get it out of my system. I know this was for your own good. And I hope you start feeling better.

I appreciate getting to interact with the blog while it lasted. I just wish it lasted longer...

[honeypupcakes]

the horrors

[soleillunne]

If I get yelled at for putting clear boundaries by my parents I might just become a murderer because what do you mean I'm a bad sibling because I told my brother to stop reading the texts between me and my friend. What do you mean I'm a bad sister for telling him to get off my bed when it genuinely makes me uncomfortable to see someone else on it. What do you mean I'm a bad person when I state i don't like how he (or anyone else in this household) goes through my shit and takes stuff without telling me.

What do you mean you get to yell at me and expect me to apologize in the end.

[unothief]

[17-noodlebird]

TADC EP. 2 SPOILERS INCOMING

CW/TW: Vent

I'm gonna go out of my to say that there are some glaring double standards in terms of how Caine and Jax are being treated by the fandom right now. People have been raising torches and pitchforks over someone who simply didn't understand what he was doing and is in need of help and guidance, while Jax, who was simply being a whiny man child who craved violence and was just simply not a good person that episode, got off scott free. IT'S LITERALLY PINK DIAMOND VS. THE OTHER DIAMONDS ALL OVER AGAIN, AND I CAN'T STAND IT!!!

Just because Caine is an AI, that doesn't mean he doesn't have human qualities, and I'm glad I'm not the only one with this assessment. Even his VA, Alex Rochon, pointed out how Caine isn't being intentionally evil, and even knows what it feels like to be in Caine's position due to being on the autism spectrum. I find Caine to be relatable myself, because I know what it's like to screw up over and over again and it hurts. A lot, actually.

What I'm saying is that we need to be cutting Caine some more slack, and we should dial down the hate for him, because sooner or later, Gooseworx is gonna catch wind of this and call us out on it the same way she did with the content farms.

Yes. I can understand that Gummigoo "dying" was hard on all of you, but I see more hate from Caine (who had good intentions, and just needs to someone to help him) than from Jax, who should be getting the hate he deserves for being an immature bully, but isn't on this platform, and it sucks. A lot.

I try to stay away from the toxic parts of the fandom, but I think it managed to creep its way here somehow, and I'm heartbroken about it. There's so much in Caine that I see in myself because of my own struggles with being autistic, and it really hurts because autistic people in real life tend to struggle with those same double standards almost daily.

Guys. Please. Do better.

For everyone's sake.

[pjunicornart]

cw: gore, blood, slight nudity, sickness, vent

Decay

Vent art art of how I'm currently feeling right now. I feel like my body is decaying. All I wanna do is stay in bed, and I'm always too hot or too cold. My lungs feel like they should be removed from my body. I feel like shit, and I have no idea how to fix it.

Making people look sick is a hidden specialty of mine. Don't worry, Lewis... because @thecrispykoala made a big fuss about it I'll draw you less "sicky" later. With a fixed chest, I promise.