#it's very obscure. as i've said. anyway

[smallblueandloud]

one of my favorite hobbies is going through my old tags and saying "aww". this time it's because of what i considered obscure. like yes, it's true that few people in my life at the time were talking about in the heights, but also. uh. Honey. No.

i don't think the category of "obscure musicals" HAS firm rules, but i also don't think it includes best musical tony award winners.

[ryin-silverfish]

One nerd's musing about Chinese religion and "respect"

-I try to stay away from fandom discourse, but, much like how you can smell the stench from a dumpster fire without walking into said dumpster fire, I've noticed something that seemed to come up a lot in western JTTW + adjacent fandoms: "respect Chinese religion".

-Usually as a reason for why you shouldn't ship a character, because of fucking course it's shipping discourse too.

-And my first reaction is "Man, you are taking Chinese religion too darn seriously, more than people who are born and raised in China."

-My second reaction is "I mean, most of us are atheist/agnostic by default anyways, with a good number of what I'd call 'atheist/agnostics with superstitions': people who said they were not religious, yet believed in Fengshui or divinations and burnt incense at temples for good luck."

-My third reaction: "But why do I get the feeling that when you mention 'Respect', you are thinking about something completely different?"

-Then I reread an essay from Anthony C. Yu, "Religion and Literature in China: The "Obscure Way" of Journey to the West", and the metaphorical lightbulb just lit up over my head.

(Everything below applies more to Daoism + associated folk religions, but by the time most classic Chinese vernacular novels were written, the blending of the three religions had become well and truly mainstream.)

(The conception of gods differs from dynasty to dynasty. What I'm describing here is mostly based on Ming and Qing ones; if you went back to Han or pre-Qin times, most of these would not apply.)

(I am one of the "atheist/agnostic by default" people. I just have an interest in this kind of stuff. I am also just one Chinese person, and an actual Daoist/Buddhist/Religion Studies researcher would probably have a lot more valuable information and perspective to offer when it comes to contemporary practices and worship. Like any people on the internet: take my words with a grain of salt.)

-Even in the past, when society was far less secularized, Chinese gods are not omniscient, perfect beings whose worship is a solemn, humorless affair. Some's worship are Serious Business, but that has more to do with the sort of gods they are and the patronage they enjoy, not godhood in and of itself.

-And even the ones that you are supposed to "treat seriously" are still very human. To use an analogy I've used plenty of times before: you respect and fear them in the same way you'd respect and fear an emperor's official, or the emperor himself, because if you don't, you are not gonna like the consequences.

-However, unlike Jesus, the emperor & his officials were capable of being temperamental, flawed, or an outright asshole, divine or not. Ideally, they wouldn't be, and if you were one of the "serious" believers——people who actually got an official permit, became ordained clergy, and went to live in a temple, you were unlikely to think of your gods in that manner.

-But it wasn't a complete, utter impossibility. The lower you go in the pantheon, the closer you get to popular religion, the less "serious" the gods and their worship become. By that, I mean general attitude, not sincerity of faith. You still shouldn't be rude to them, but, well, they are more likely to take a joke in stride, or participate in the "vulgar" pleasures of commoners because they weren't as bound to Confucian moral standards or religious disciplines.

-To stretch the same analogy further: you should still respect your village head, they could still give your ass a good spanking for being a disrespectful brat, but you were not obligated to get on your knees and kowtow to them like you would do in front of a provincial magistrate, the emperor's minister, or the emperor himself, nor did they have the power to chop your head off just because you were rude.

-On the other hand, the emperor would never visit a random peasant just to help them fix their broken plow or treat them to a nice meal, but your village head could, and your relationship would probably be warmer and a lot more personal as a result.

-Your respect for them was more likely to stem from the things they actually did for you and the village as a whole, instead of something owed to this distant, powerful authority you might never get to see in your lifetime, but could change its course with a single stroke of a brush.

-Now exchange "village head" for your run-of-the-mill Tudis and Chenghuangs and friendly neighborhood spirits (because yes, people worshipped yaoguais for the exact same reasons), emperor + his officials for the Celestial Bureaucracy, and you'd have a basic idea of how Chinese religions worked on the ground level.

-This is far from absolute: maybe your village head was a spiteful old bastard who loved bullying his juniors, maybe your regional magistrate was an honest, upright man who could enjoy a good drink and a good laugh, maybe the emperor was a lenient one and wouldn't chop your head off for petty offenses. But their general degree of power over you and the closeness of your relationships still apply.

-Complicating the matter further, some folk gods (like Wutong) were worshipped not because they brought blessings, but because they were the divine equivalent of gangsters running a protection racket: you basically bribed them with offerings so they'd leave you alone and not wreck your shit. Famous people who died violently and were posthumously deified often fell into this category——shockingly enough, Guan Yu used to be one such god!

-Yeah, kinda like how your average guy could become an official through the imperial examinations, so could humans become gods through posthumous worship, or cultivate themselves into immortals and Enlightened beings.

-Some immortals aren't qualified for, or interested in a position in the Celestial Bureaucracy——they are the equivalent of your hermits, your cloistered Daoist priests, your common literati who kept trying and failing the exams. But some do get a job offer and gladly take it.

-Anyways, back to my original point: that's why it's so absurd when people pull the "Respect Chinese Religion1!!1!" card and immediately follow up with "Would you do X to Jesus?"

-Um, there are a lot of things you can do with Chinese gods that I'm pretty sure you can't do with Jesus. Like worshipping him side by side with Buddha and Confucius (Lao Tzu). Or inviting him to possess you and drink copious amount of alcohol (Tang-ki mediums in SEA). Or genderbend him into a woman over the course of several centuries because folks just like that version of Jesus better (Guan Yin/Avalokitesvara).

-But most importantly, Chinese religions are kinda a "free market" where you could pick and choose between gods, based on their vicinity to you and how efficient they were at answering prayers. You respect them because they'll help you out, you aren't an asshole and know your manners, and pissing them off is a bad idea in general, not because they are some omnipotent, perfect beings who demand exclusive and total reverence.

-A lot of the worship was also, well, very "practical" and almost transactional in nature: leave offerings to Great Immortal Hu, and he doesn't steal your imperial seal while you aren't looking. Perform the rites right and meditate on a Thunder General's visage, and you can temporarily channel said deity's power. Get this talisman for your kids at Bixia Yuanjun's temple, and they'll be protected from smallpox.

-"Faith alone" or "Scripture alone" is seldom the reason people worship popular deities. Even the obsession with afterlife wasn't about the eternal destination of your soul, and more about reducing the potential duration of the prison sentence for you and your loved ones so you can move on faster and reincarnate into a better life.

-Also, there isn't a single "canon" of scriptures. Many popular gods don't show up in Daoist literature until much later. Daoist scriptures often came up with their own gigantic pantheons, full of gods no one had heard of prior to said book, or enjoyed no worship in temples whatsoever.

-In the same way famous dead people could become gods via worship, famous fictional characters could, too, become gods of folk religion——FSYY's pantheon was very influential on popular worship, but that doesn't mean you should take the novels as actual scriptures.

-Like, God-Demon novels are to orthodox Daoism/Buddhism what the Divine Comedy is to medieval Christian doctrines, except no priests had actually built a Church of Saint Beatrice, while Daoists did put FSYY characters into their temples. By their very nature, the worship that stemmed from these books is not on the same level of "seriousness" as, say, the Tiantai school of Buddhism and their veneration of the Lotus Sutra.

-At the risk of being guilty of the same insertion of Christianity where it doesn't belong: You don't cite Dante's Inferno in a theological debate, nor would any self-respecting pastor preach it to churchgoers on a Sunday.

-Similarly, you don't use JTTW or FSYY as your sole evidence for why something is "disrespectful to Chinese religion/tradition" when many practitioners of said religions won't treat them as anything more than fantasy novels.

-In fact, let's use Tripitaka as an example. The historical Xuanzang was an extraordinarily talented, faithful, and determined monk. In JTTW, he was a caricature of a Confucian scholar in a Buddhist kasaya and served the same narrative function as Princess Peach in a Mario game.

-Does the presence of satire alone make JTTW anti-Buddhist, or its religious allegories less poignant? I'd say no. Should you take it as seriously as actual Buddhist sutras, when the book didn't even take itself 100% seriously? Also no.

-To expand further on the idea of "seriousness": even outside of vernacular novels, practitioners are not beholden to a universal set of strict religious laws and taboos.

-Both Daoism and Buddhism had what we called "cloistered" and "non-cloistered" adherents; only the former needed to follow their religious laws and (usually) took a vow of celibacy.

-Certain paths of Daoist cultivation allow for alcohol and sexual activities (thanks @ruibaozha for the info), and some immortals, like Lv Dongbin, had a well-established "playboy" reputation in folklore.

-Though it was rarer for Buddhism and very misunderstood, esoteric variants of it did utilize sexual imageries and sex. And, again, most of the above would not apply if you weren't among the cloistered and ordained clergy.

-Furthermore, not even the worship of gods is mandatory! You could just be a Daoist who was really into internal alchemy, cultivating your body and mind in order to prolong your lifespan and, ideally, attain immortality.

-This idea of "respect" as…for a lack of better words, No Fun & R18 Stuff Allowed, you must treat all divinity with fearful reverence and put yourself completely at their mercy, is NOT the norm in Chinese religious traditions.

-There are different degrees and types of respect, and not every god is supposed to be treated like the Supreme Heavenly Emperor himself during an imperial ceremony; the gods are capable of cracking a joke, and so are we!

TL;DR: Religions are complicated, and you aren't respecting Chinese religions by acting like a stereotypical Puritan over popular Chinese deities and their fictional portrayals.

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

You don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but how has your opinion changed on Steven Universe now than when it first aired? Like I have fond memories of watching the show while it was airing but now I realize that it had a lot of problems that I feel like a lot of fans either flat out ignore or bend over backwards to make sure their rose tinted glasses stay on.

... okay, fair question. Let's talk about this.

I'll try not to wax poetic too long, but there are a lot of things to be said here.

First and foremost - how has my opinion changed since the show has ended?

Simply put - it hasn't.

When I started watching Steven Universe over 7 years ago, I didn't have much knowledge of it. I sat down, saw a few of episodes and went 'well, this is a silly show for kids with a goofy but loveable protagonist... but it seems like it's also incredibly charming with its delivery and has some nice, more complex themes about loss and healing and grief throughout.'

And if you ask me what Steven Universe is now... I would probably say that exact same thing.

Am I wearing rose tinted lenses? Interesting question.

What ARE 'rose tinted lenses' in this context anyway?

What do these lenses represent? What do they obscure?

Since you didn't go into specifics, I can only assume what you're referring to when you say that many fans ignore the show's problems.

There have been many discussions surrounding various aspects of the show and how it might be read as 'problematic' (ahhh how I've come to despise that word.... without context, it has all the descriptive power of the word 'icky' - none of the critical details and all of the emotional punch of scrunching up your face like a cat that just sniffed a lemon...)

Is this about something as simple as the 'SU doesn't have a consistent size for its characters' debate?

Because that has been gone back to, over and over again, and proven to be a point of opinion. SU favored allowing storyboarders to show off their personal flourish, and even though Peridot was 30% hair in that one episode, it did not overall take away from the plotline being told, which was their goal. If you wanted to watch a show with consistent styling throughout, you can always watch a 3D modeled show, but keeping that up was simply never one of SU's main pillars. And I feel like it didn't have to be.

Is this about something more complex such as the way Rose was presented?

...and how her arc was shown backwards instead of forwards - showing first the person she became in the end, and afterwards revealing all the growth she had to have to get there?

That was on purpose! And I don't think this is a problem. It's a feature, not a bug. Rose was never meant to be an ideal character - she was meant to be complicated and messy, and I think the fact that the fandom is so split in their opinions of her shows that the Crewniverse pulled that off really well!

She fucked over Bismuth! She forced Pearl to be silent! Those are both parts of her character arc that were never resolved because she died before she could resolve it - that's BY DESIGN. Sometimes, you just do something absolutely stupid and cruel, and you cannot go back to fix it.

Is this about the Diamonds? The fact that they were not put in space jail, after being put on trial for space crimes, and then publicly executed for space eco-genocide?

Here's the thing - most people I know who watched and loved SU are fully aware of that. But simply put - Steven Universe was not a story about Revenge.

Steven Universe was a story about love. A story about family. A story about truth, and lies, and hurt, and healing. About how sometimes healing doesn't happen. And how sometimes it will, but you won't be around to see it.

But it's not a story that can be all things for all people.

That is the thesis of my reply: It is a story.

It is not a manifesto. It is not a bible. It is not a Complete Truth.

It is a single story. Made by a group of very talented people, who cared about these characters, who did their best. They made a funny, emotional, well-drawn and complex cartoon show about the things THEY personally wanted to tell stories about.

Does it answer all questions the way everyone wants them answered? No. That's impossible.

Everyone wants a different story. Everyone wants a different solution, a different resolution. A different ending.

Steven Universe is one story. It cannot satisfy all people.

So when you ask me 'has your opinion of Steven Universe changed'? The answer is 'no'.

I went in, expecting to see a story. I saw a lot of what I liked! I saw some parts which I thought were interesting. I saw some parts which, yes, I disagreed with a little.

But overall, it's a good story. And that's what I expected, and that's what I got, which means I'm pretty satisfied. I love that story.

I feel like recently, there's this expectation of media, to be Everything For All People. And it's a bit unrealistic. No one call tell the perfect story. We are all simply telling the stories we want to tell. And people will vibe with that, more or less.

A single story, made by a small group of people, will never be that for you. There will never be an Unproblematic Cartoon that you watch that will be devoid of things you disagree with.

Being critical of media doesn't mean 'Criticize the FUCK outta that media, and the one with the least criticisms is the best one'.

Critical thinking is about evaluating things critically - that means being critical of YOURSELF. Being critical of your OWN reactions. Asking 'why did I like this?' and 'why did I dislike this?'. Asking 'this doesn't mesh with me, but who WOULD it mesh with? It isn't for me, but who is it for? Who would it hurt, but also who would it help?'

Some people HATED how SU: Future ended. They beat their fists on the wall and cried about how Steven was leaving his family behind, and how THEY could never imagine doing something like that, and how he was running away from his problems just like Rose had.

Me? I loved it. I think it was the right choice, and I COULD imagine it and thought it was in character. I thought he needed to be his own person, instead of shouldering everyone else's responsibilities for once. Was one of us more right than the other? Maybe not? Maybe that was the whole point?

Loving things is not about putting on rose colored glasses. Sometimes, choosing to love something with flaws is an act of rebellion. It's about knowing you have differences, but understanding that there is value in the things you DO agree on, and knowing you can consume that.

Healthy consumption of media does not mean throwing the whole cartoon away as soon as you notice something is wrong with it, like a bruise on an apple.

Healthy consumption of media involves critical thinking AND feeding yourself. Acknowledging you may disagree with parts of it, but not starving yourself just because your apples all have small imperfections.

Eat, for fuck's sake. Feed yourself. You'll feel better.

Thassit.

[bobbile-blog]

Okay so I've finally gotten to Jessicalter's Oprec and now feel qualified to talk about Come Catastrophes or Wakes of Vultures. holy shit. This went straight into my list of top Arknights events. Fantastic event, spoilers will be under the cut so I HIGHLY RECOMMEND reading the event first. It's really good and worth your while.

Anyway, what follows is a scattered mess of thoughts about this event and things that stuck out to me.

First off, plot stuff! I'll probably cover this when I do my next plotline recap post, but what I took away from the end is that Clip Cliff seems to want to make Blacksteel independent, or at least more self-determining than it is now. He seems to be gathering resources and assets like mobile city plates and investing in long-term infrastructure like merc training, so he definitely has a long game he's pushing for. I don't think we know enough go speculate about his goals, but we'll definitely be coming back here again. After all, Tila has an infection monitor in her art, which probably means she's going to be playable at some point in the future.

Next, having looked into this a little on my own, I was interested in some of the previous places Raythean has shown up. Specifically, the ones that stood out were the drones in the Kazimierz Major and arming Silverash's forces in Kjerag, which might be referring to the Tschäggättä. It's not just notable for their apparent level of technology, but also as a faint connecting thread between three separate capitalism plotlines. I don't know if that's going to be meaningful in the future, but I found it interesting enough that I thought I'd bring it up.

Now on to more narrative things. While I love Liskarm and Franka, I do think it was the right choice to give them less screen time in this event. They're both (for the most part) fully-realized characters who understand their own motivations and morals. This is above all else an event about Jessica learning to stand on her own as an adult, so it makes sense that they're more here to support her than they are to play their own roles in the story.

Speaking of said roles, I liked the event's commentary on cops. It pointed out an interesting distinction that I wouldn't really have ever thought of, that between mercenaries and cops. To start: cops exist to protect property, not people. The police exist to protect things and do not have an obligation to err on the side of people over things, and in fact are supposed to do the opposite. This event understands that, and that role os the core of how the bank treats the Blacksteel mercs. CV, however, raises an interesting point that mercenaries are bound by the letter of a contract and not the larger obligation to property cops are, so they can actually raise moral objections and point to their contracts, sort of a Lawful Evil/Lawful Neutral to cops' Neutral Evil. The independence of their position with respect to cops allows for more of an independent morality than you'd get in a cop story and I like that, I think it's a really smart direction to take your writing in.

On a (mostly) separate note, holy shit Arknights is really good at writing cowboy stories. Between this and chapter 9 (and I would argue An Obscure Wanderer), Arknights has repeatedly made it clear that they Do Not Fuck Around with their cowboy stories and I'm surprised I haven't heard more people talking about it. It kinda has everything:

- It takes place in a rural, working-class setting undergoing a larger imminent societal shift that can inform the larger narrative, and deals with a semi-mythologized past that is rapidly disappearing.

- It has a protagonist and an antagonist that serve as foils, both very heavily affected and defined by the (same) violence in their past that they've both had different reactions to. Our protagonist has come to terms with the violence as a tool to maintain order, while our antagonist has used it for personal gain and in some ways lost control of it.

- It's a story about community, and heavily emphasizes local and personal community over larger artificial corporate "community". That's my reading of the recurring motif of the cold btw, warmth represents the close, personal community Davistown used to have and the cold that now pervades it comes from how the bank has systematically dismantled that community.

- And, I'd argue most importantly, it understands the narrative power of a bullet. The Showdown at the end of a cowboy story is powerful because we've spent the entire runtime of our story with these characters, and they are now facing each other down with the intent to end one of their collective two stories. The entire weight of the narrative so far comes to rest on a single moment of tension. It's really hard to gather up the kind of narrative momentum you need to make that hit like it does in CV. For example, it requires a really light hand with actual action in the story, so that it really does feel like it's an even standoff between our protagonist and antagonist. On the other hand, though, you do actually have to establish the relative skill of both parties and actually sell the danger of the moment to the audience. It's really hard to toe the line between tension and actual action in a way that makes for a satisfying resolution, and CV does it extremely well.

Honestly, Arknights just seems really good at getting the vibes of American media right. This is something I noticed in DV and Lonetrail too, and I haven't really been able to put my finger on what it is about them, but the vibes are just really on-point. I want to write more about this at a later point once I actually figure out what it is that I'm feeling, but maybe it's the setting, maybe it's the cast, maybe it's the plot points, maybe it's something in between — it just seems to understand the spirit of period cowboy stories in a way that I can't describe. Good shit.

Finally, I wanna end this with where Jessica is now. The events of CV take place In between the events of Loneterail and Ideal City, so the current "now" of the story is a few months ahead. Jessica left for the frontier along with Woody, Helena, and Miles. They live together in a small new settlement, building the place from the ground up with Woody and Jessica acting as town sherrifs. At the point we're at now, rhe town is fairly well-established and Woody has temporarily left on other business, leaving Jessica the sole sherrif of their new settlement. However, she's risen to her new station, and is growing into a stronger person than she ever was before.

[p0rk-guts]

He's finally done I think. WOAW! Radio demon time!!!

Okay time for comparison + breakdown rant ^ - ^ another SUPER long one I had a lot to say about this silly guy

ALRIGHT. So. Atp all that can be said has been said about Alastor but I'll gloss over it anyhow. Grossly historically inaccurate hair and clothing. Invisible deer theming. One of the main reasons he's got one of the most clowned on designs in the show is bc he's a pretty good representation of the worst it has to offer. He's absurdly red and has the waspiest waist in town. Also gotta zero in on the coat for a second bc I find it incredibly stupid that he went to that tailor bc of his coat being ripped and then left the shop with the exact same torn coat on oh goddd that felt like a complete joke who wrote this

Also his "redesign" was pointless. He stayed pretty much entirely the same except his colors got pinker and grosser and now he has this?? White trim on his lapels??? Even less 1930's accurate and it only serves to hurt the pallate in my eyes. It's the only spot of white on his entire design, it doesn't appear anywhere else so it throws it all off. And it's so bright. Is it supposed to be a focal point?? His tits????

Anyways onto my guy who I love so very deeply. I'm pretty sure sepia film was outdated by the 1930s but I gave him a palette inspired by it to emphasize how dated and stuck in old ways he is. Added blood red accents bc. Well. Cannibal murderer. Also bc I redid the sin colors so red is wrath and it seems like a fitting sin to pair him with.

After looking into 1930's men's fashion a tiny bit (thanks anon, this video was helpful!) and gave him a double breasted coat but wider and pointier so he looks a little less like just some normal guy and really emphasize how prideful and egotistical he is. "Ooo look at me I'm super big and imposing and powerfulll". I think it's a fun character trait of his. Definitely keeping it.

I liked him wearing gloves bc I feel like he wouldn't like getting his hands directly dirty and would always be covered when committing his murders. Maybe he's a germaphobe even. "I can excuse murder but I draw the line at dried blood on my skin". Also the gloves being white would contrast really well with blood so. Love that

I gave him a long tie to free him from the Vivziepop bow tie uniform and a fedora to add to the 1930's vibe and serve as something that can occasionally obscure his face in shadow. His glasses are also opaque and I imagine his eyes would rarely be shown if ever to make him seem more inhuman and off-putting, disconnecting him from personhood a bit. Wanted to add to that with his smiling mouth never opening and just being a static grin that can only occasionally widen or lessen, his voice cracking out of his "speaker" with fuzzy radio static. Seen multiple ppl use that idea and it always eats

I love Alastor's silly theatric nature (primarily in the pilot) and I'd probably keep it, but I'd add a layer of uncanny-ness to him where when he's not putting on his silly jovial facade, he gives off an unnerving vibe. Trying to appear approachable and charming and pleasant to lure people in before he's revealed to be less than human. Loveee thattt

I love Alastor being a deer. Predator becoming prey (animal) + "prey animal" lulling people into a false sense of security before striking. Love it. We should be CAPITALIZING ON IT❗So I gave him deer like legs, visible deer hooves, and more readable deer ears + the ham radio tower antenna antlers (sorry 4 calling them horns 💀)

Tried to make it a little more obvious that he's a mixed man of color by giving him dark wavy hair and the faintest hint of lip definition Viv uses in her style. I think it works. He's still not dark skinned tho

LASTLY the mic. Also not an original idea as I've seen tons of others turn it into a carbon mic but turned into a pentagram shape and I love the idea a lotttt so I joined the crew.

AND THAT DOES IT!!!! hope u like him as much as I do hehe. Just 1 supplemental doodle this time sorry :/ showing off how his face is probably obscured most of the time. He's. So hard to draw. I'm just bad at men but I'm tryinggggg guys

Alsoooo I've already finished the drawings for Niffty, Angel, and Husk! Once I've finished their breakdowns I'll add em right to the queue, and then I'll make a post with all of the main 6 together :3

[barrenclan]

idk if someone's said this before but July by American Murder Song is a very patfw-ish song. i can't pinpoint it exactly but a lot of it reminds me of cootstorm especially 's refusal to leave the territory but there's also the idea of going west, like the idea of leaving the territory and later moving further away from defiance, and the very last part of the song is reminiscent of Rainhaze to me, how he kills Asphodelpaw, and in doing that, kills his old self so to speak. just a thought

Oh, how did you know that I've been listening to 1816: The Year Without a Summer and specifically July on repeat for the past month? Are you reading my mind? Anyways, I do really love that song with Cootstorm, especially how the narrator curses everyone who is leaving and insists that he'll never leave this land. Though I do hope Cootstorm wouldn't go so far as murder.

Black in the cotton and rot in the lamb Ash in the windows Ash on the land Summer got spooked Went yellow and ran We ain't going nowhere We ain't going, going nowhere

Outside the tree coughed up blood 'Stead of leaves Coughs from the floorboards Coughs from the eaves I climbed the coughing tree Noose at my sleeves I ain't going nowhere I ain't going, going nowhere

Deepdark would certainly believe he was the protagonist of this comic, that's for sure. Will Wood isn't really my taste but I do like the tone of this song.

I'm that first-person they talk about in all the books I'm that perspective you cannot doubt, see how I look Control the narrative reliably, baby, it's all about me

So, God forbid I'm seen just as an average human being I mean, imagine if antagonists lacked any evil scheme I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy

I see the vision!

So there's this Castle of Rats I mean a million of them, butchering each other As they try to get a window open Burying the new dead beneath the old dead

There isn't anything in this world could make you go back There isn't any meaning in the metaphor I'm weaving a series of words that hurt me more The more that I repeat 'em

I like it when people suggest OSTs, it's very vibes-based. Spooky songs are great soundtracks for this comic!

Lol, Nat, no people haven't sent me obscure Appalachian string band suggestions for music before. I do like this sound with the comic, though, I think it fits very well. If PATFW was a show or movie I was making, I'd score it with a lot of western/appalachian string music.

Ah, MNQN! One of my friends likes that band a lot. This is a very very Rainhaze song.

You've changed within Some selfish mutation A stranger I once called a friend

Man will almost certainly be replaced by a new order of intelligence Stop looking for monsters under your bed You are the monster

Oh, you've seen that Darkstripe video too... big fang. I love Ween, so any song of their you give me is good far as I'm concerned. Rainhaze being a Johnny on the spot fits him very well, always willing to break his back for other people.

I'll be your Jonny on the spot I'll be your Jonny on the spot My daddy died, and left me all he's got I'll be your Jonny on the spot

I get up early in the morn' I get up early in the morn' I slop the pigs, and momma shucks the corn I get up early in the morn'

[drdemonprince]

I've noticed a pattern in anticapitalist books I read (specifically I'm talking abt Mark Fisher here, in Capitalist Realism). They do this great anticapitalist analysis etc and then go on to critique their students? and sometimes it's a bit ableist? it's like all the critical thought goes out of the window and they cannot understand the situation because for once suddenly they are in the authoritative position. It always gives me this "I don't understand these kids, back in my day-" vibe, and I see this with lecturers at university too. like Mark Fisher maybe we can think outside the box about your student who "needs" headphones to focus in class "even though no music is playing". and maybe it's not to do with the "Matrix"(????) I'm well aware this was written in 2008 but it's weird that I see this pattern continue today. Not to mention Mark Fisher took part in some ableist studies, and was a guy with questionable intentions on occasion.

it's like you Just said that reducing labour is good why are you calling your students lazy, that's so unprofessional and privileged. I wonder of coincidence that he is anti-meds when his right wing, pro-eugenics, accelerationist friend was addicted to amphetamines.

Or even just the amount of people who have written books about laziness and anticapitalism (excluding you) and just saying the most contradictory shit ever?? or not following their own ideology???

Anyway, I wonder if, when writing Laziness Does Not Exist, you came across any of this and were equally as baffled.

Materialism is just *so* true that high-status academics don't have a vested class interest in seeing their student struggles as legitimate or in recognizing the struggles of disabled people in general. For many edgy academic leftists having the correct opinions is just a way to flex one's intellectual status, not a lived experience they give a shit about. I'm not shitting Fisher in particular in saying this, it's more that it's a really widespread problem in the culture of these kinds of (very white, very academic, very cishet) leftists communities. You see the same kind of thing among some of the Chapo stan types, too, you don't have to be specifically an academic to do it -- lots of people throwing around the r-slur and flexing on how much they have read and doing fuck all for the oppressed people around them. I tend to find it especially common among people who inherited leftism from their (often academic) parents? Whereas leftist communities populated by Black & brown anarchists and working class people tend to fare a lot better in this particular respect.

Note that I'm not saying a person's identities are a guarantee of them being any more radical -- there's lots of liberals lurking in our midsts of all identities for instance -- more that someone's orientation toward power tells you a lot. and unfortunately there is an approach to leftism that puts a lot of stock in either institutional power via the academy, or in a kind of soft power of intellectual authoritativeness that tends to punish anyone who is supposedly less well read, less intelligent, lazy, needs disability accommodations, has trauma triggers, or what have you.

The simple answer is that power and privilege obscures other people's challenges from you, and the desire to preserve one's power (be it actually institutional academic authority or just the status of the person who supposedly knows the most in the room) leads to a lot of oppressive behavior. a lot of these guys that you're talking about believe in communism sincerely but they don't have humility, they believe themselves to be superior to most everyone else. and they tend to be white guys from wealthy families who either do not have any disabilities of their own, or they have the undiagnosed intj mastermind rational flavor of autism that makes you feel incredibly alienated from others but interpret that alienation as a sign of your intellectual superiority. (i had this type but i got better. a little)

[i-heart-hxh]

Hello! I hope AX is fun!

I have a question along the lines of some that you probably have already gotten before. If so, sorry. Mine is basically: do you think people who say there's queer/gay subtext in Gon and Killua's relationship are reading too much into it, or are otherwise biased to an extent that it's effecting objectivity?

The reason I ask is: usually people who say these sorts of things are the borderline homophobic sort that insist kids their age can't be gay or make fun of people who like to engage with anime fandoms, but I have come across someone (in private, friend of a friend, lol) with a couple of arguments which I think leave out all that, and I thought it would be valuable to ask, both just to have a discussion and because I don't quite trust my own skills.

One point was that the famous shinjuu line isn't as romantically charged as the English speaking fandom makes it out to be, and that the word contemporarily refers to multi-death tragedy or dedication resulting in death generally, especially in the context with which Killua said it (being that he was about to follow Gon into a fight with Pitou which he knew they'd lose without any prior mutual agreement). The argument was that a romantic reading of the line comes from bias and unfamiliarity, and as a result isn't as paid attention to in Japanese HxH communities as it is in English ones.

The other was that a lot of the moments showcasing the intensity of Gon and Killua's feelings (such as the dodgeball or "you are light" scenes) are very typical/standard of shounen anime, which often have central themes of friendship that are frequently "overestimated" by fandom to be intentional romantic undertones, and that these two characters are not unique in that respect. They said determining romance-establishing purposes to scenes like the ones Killua shares with Palm is projection that interferes with analysis for all the reasons mentioned above. Part of the argument was that a romantic interpretation ignores a subversion of 'the power of friendship' shounen trope, as Gon and Killua have a comparatively tragic "end" (in quotations because obviously the story isn't done), where Gon pushed Killua away, Killua could not stand up for himself, and Gon ended up defeating a powerful enemy without him; adding romance to it obscures and misses the point of this subversion. They also said it was very unlikely for Togashi, should he want to explore queer themes like this, to be so subtle about it, and to not ascribe intent to the author.

The way I see it is that reading romance between Killua and Gon is just one of many interpretations someone may get from a culmination of moments from the text, and that a lot of meta analysis will inevitably be biased by someone's own experiences. For example, a lot of people can relate to the experience of having a baby gay crush, and so see themselves in Killua and read the character with that background in mind. I think the arguments I see here (on tumblr, but also your blog) are well-substantiated and well-explained, which I think are all that's needed for a "valid" interpretation.

Anyway. I apologize for the long ask. Thank you for reading all that!

Hi! AX was fun, thank you!! I caught a cold so I've been slow to recover this week, but I'm starting to feel better.

So, I've answered similar questions with a lot of different reasons why I think the subtext is intentional, and I think it's worth reading that first because it helps when thinking about Togashi's mindset and interests in his works. While of course I can't put words in Togashi's mouth, there is validity in examining things he has actually said and included in prior works and deducing some of his tendencies and patterns based off of that. I do not think it's a stretch or leap at all to read queer themes into the work of someone who has stated an interest in creating queer works, expressed that he enjoys and is influenced by queer works, is married to someone who created a work known for its queer themes, and has previously included queer themes in his works as well. And I mean, KilluGon isn't even the only queer inclusion in HxH by far either.

The thing is, I can understand where this person is coming from...up to a point. If you take any one or even a small handful of these points in isolation, sure, it's not difficult to say that perhaps the romantic reading of those moments is incidental and not intended to be taken that seriously.

I think the real problem with this attitude is that when you start adding up the number of times something with a romantic implication is included between Gon and Killua and look at the picture as a whole, it does reach a point where it gets increasingly ridiculous to claim it isn't intentional or has no real weight. Why would someone like Togashi, who has such an eye for detail in his stories, bother including these implications over and over and over again if he didn't want it to be read this way? Especially when he is someone who has expressed interest in writing queer stories? I struggle to look at the full picture and accept that there isn't a strong degree of intention to the decisions he makes.

I've seen tons of other anime, including lots of shounen, and while I understand that person's perspective with the fever-pitch friendships that the fandom then takes and interprets as more (something I believe Jump intentionally fosters as a marketing tool), personally I do see HxH as being several notches above other shounen series with regards to both how much subtext exists and also how seriously the bond between the characters is portrayed. To me, it does feel distinct from even many other series where male characters are commonly shipped for these reasons, and I'm actually rather skeptical with regards to the majority of these ships being considered canon or even close to it even when there is some basis the fandom is going off of. But I do think HxH leans into this aspect even more than most other shounen do, both in the series itself and in related offshots like the musicals and marketing and even how both versions of the anime were approached.

Also, I will say that I follow the Japanese side of the fandom pretty closely and read tweets frequently, and I do see people bring up the shinjuu line with regards to Killua's feelings and especially what it says about the gravity of how he feels towards Gon. I would actually agree there is less emphasis on it in the Japanese side of the fandom because the word (including the subtext) is already familiar to Japanese audiences and so they just see it upfront and then either take it that way or not, while it has to be explained to a non-Japanese audience due to the lack of cultural familiarity and also the inadequacy of the English translations to capture the meaning.

Regardless of the fact that it technically can be taken either way, I do strongly feel like the word was used by Togashi with intention and knowledge of how it's normally used in a literary sense. I believe Togashi made a choice to use that word on purpose and let his audience take it as they will. It's also worth noting that Gon and Killua directly parallel another lovers' suicide--that of Meruem and Komugi, who do use romantic language towards one another. Komugi says "I may not be much, but please, let me accompany you," which is an old fashioned way for Japanese women to accept a marriage proposal. This echos Killua's "Gon, you are light. Sometimes you shine so brightly, I must look away. But even so, is it still okay if I stay at your side?”

I also think Gon and Killua's friendship can be and is still a subversion of shounen friendship tropes while at the same time being romantically coded. In fact, that it is so close to romantic is a bit of a subversion itself. I don't think the coding gets in the way of the shounen friendship subversion or takes away from it--both can exist at the same time. I still say that the way the Palm subplot is constructed doesn't fully make sense if you remove the intention of the exact nature of Killua's feelings being explored. Otherwise why bother to have so much emphasis on romance as a theme? Why not construct things differently? Why not have Gon make a platonic friend for Killua to get jealous over instead? Why essentially give Killua a romantic "rival"? Why have Killua "stalk" them on their date and point out that's what he's doing? Why have him freaking out at the thought of Gon going on dates and then saying he wants to be with Gon forever literally the next panel? Why make his jealousy come off as romantic in nature because of the way the whole situation is set up? These decisions matter! Togashi could have approached this entire subplot from any angle, and yet he chose to keep repeatedly referencing romantic love when the focus is on Killua's feelings for Gon.

Obviously as someone who ships Gon and Killua, I do have a certain degree of bias, though I like to think I am able to step away from that and look at the series more objectively as well. I do have moments where I go, "I am I being a little delusional here? Do I need to re-assess?" and think over all of what we've been provided again and...honestly I just come to the same conclusion every time no matter what angle I try to look at it from. I do believe that Togashi writes the KilluGon dynamic in such a way that people who would rather ignore the romantic subtext can do so. It's a perfectly beautiful and complex friendship regardless of whether you acknowledge the romantic subtext or not. I think Togashi enjoys playing with the ambiguity of it. But just because it's ambiguous doesn't mean the romantic subtext doesn't exist or have meaning/intent behind it, and to me, adding up all the different choices made in the series, it does reach a tipping point wherein I seriously believe Togashi includes it with full intention and knowledge of what he's doing. And for what it's worth, I don't think it's actually that subtle. A lot of people notice it and wonder about it and connect with it, even including some people who don't actually want to see it (think about all the dudebros who post online going, "Is it just me or does Killua seem kinda gay???").

I hope this response is helpful to you! I wish I could provide more concrete examples in this post, but I feel like it's getting awfully long as it is. I do sincerely believe that the romantic interpretation is a valid and meaningful one that has legitimate merit when looking at the series. If others would rather ignore that aspect, they're allowed to feel that way, and of course no one is obligated to ship Gon and Killua in a romantic way no matter how much subtext exists. But I don't think that perspective erases the existence of the romantic implications, which are fairly heavy in my opinion when you add them all together.

[headspace-hotel]

So. I saw your post about plants that so many people don't know exist, and I 100% agree- it's so sad that so many don't even realize their native plants exist. Or animals. The world wasn't made to be concrete and steel.

That said, I might be half decent at recognizing native plants, but I don't know a thing about the more obscure and less well known types. Like, edible fruits people don't eat? What are they called? What do they taste like? What wild and wacky flowers do I not know exist? What about rare plants, or ones that look similar to what we know but are completely different? What about stange animals?

Anyways, if/when you're in the mood to ramble I would love to hear about all the different plants.

Well, native plants will of course be unique to where you live, so I can only speak to my own area...but where I live, there is a little known fruit called a Pawpaw (not to be confused with Papaya, which is a different thing).

I think lots of people know about pawpaw, but despite a great deal of interest in commercializing it, this fruit is never found in stores due to being very fragile and spoiling soon after ripening.

You have to eat the pawpaw right after it falls from the tree and not a minute too late. It has a wonderfully soft, smooth texture and tastes like a mixture of banana and mango. The flesh literally melts in your mouth. I came upon a windfall of perfectly ripe pawpaws in the woods one day last fall, and it was a transcendent experience; I'm still haunted by how delicious they were. God's perfect food.

The thing is, when you go driving around in my area, you will see wild pawpaw trees everywhere there are streams and low-lying areas. You'd have to watch them closely because the possums love pawpaw, but I wonder how many people know to...

Flowers! I'd love to talk about flowers. You see, the plants that end up on lists of native wildflowers for butterfly gardens are a small selection that have been bred and cultivated by nurseries...but there are so many more.

For example, look at the Redwhisker Clammyweed:

Delightful. And I didn't even know it was a thing. 

I'll add some of my own photos now. Here is a flower that popped up on its own in my back yard:

Purple passion flower! Its fruit is also edible.

Here is a native Ruellia I found in the pavement:

Spring Blue-Eyed Mary at a nature preserve

Wingstem:

Citronella Horse Balm:

An Ironweed that popped up randomly at the base of a tree in my back yard. Amazing things happen when you strategically identify areas to not mow.

This past summer I kept a big horseshoe-shaped patch of the back yard (where we used to have a garden patch) from being mowed, and by the time it was fall, this goldenrod and Frost Aster came all on its own! Literal clouds of butterflies and bees constantly hovered around it.

We call that spot the Meadow now. My mom complained for most of the summer about the "weeds," until one day I came home from work and she and my sister were in the meadow on a picnic blanket, staring at the butterflies and bees. "There are tiny bees!" my mom said, indicating a Melissodes longhorn bee. "I didn't know there were bees like that!"

A lot of my work these days has to do with introducing experiences with nature to people, because I've seen how it completely changes their perspective. The Meadow is going to be amazing in the spring...

[whattraintracks]

1. Watching His Favorite Movie - every iteration I've ever seen

My headcanons based on vibes and thrown together in the middle of the night

1987 Raphael

becomes the most annoying person you’ve ever watched a movie with 

ever 

has seen this movie ten dozen times, can and will quote it by heart 

would rather make fun of everything in said movie, witty one-liners galore 

all the snacks which he chews obnoxiously and loudly 

1990s Raph 

as background noise to literally anything 

once he saw it and decided yep this is my favorite he never sat down to watch it again 

he's got things to do and ain’t nobody got time to sit down and watch a movie they’ve already seen 

just has it playing while he works out or cleans his sai or does chores or whatever 

but if someone tries to turn it off he will get pissed, he was paying attention thank you very much and that was the best part 

TNM Raph 

on his own, he either gets super into it or just passes out halfway through 

with some else, he must make them understand why this is in fact the greatest movie of all time 

the kinda guy that goes wait wait wait here’s the best part and gets mad when you don’t react correctly to his favorite scenes 

the guys hate him for it because they’ve all seen this movie a million times 

but Venus has not! and he takes full advantage of that fact 

2003 Raph 

is pretty thoughtful and quiet about it 

mostly because he likes to pull it out when he’s having a low-energy day or just feeling nostalgic 

must be doing something mindless simultaneously: knitting, eating, I don’t know, laundry?

is also super insightful about it, can and will dissect the plot 

hums the soundtrack to himself for the rest of the day 

2007 Raph 

prefers to watch with at least one other person so he can ✨ discuss ✨

always uses closed captions

loves the IDEA of sneaking into theaters to see it but can’t stand watching it straight through 

frequently pauses and rewinds, especially loves extended cuts and commentaries 

will get sidetracked halfway through by video essays and online debates courtesy of Donnie

2012 Raph 

his level of enjoyment is directly proportional to the amount of scoffing 

even alone actually, it's not just a tough guy act 

it's like when you know something is objectively awful but you unironically love it anyway 

if someone misreads this as dislike or disinterest and suggests turning it off they will be threatened within an inch of their life 

hates interruptions cannot stand people who talk while watching his movie and gets really frustrated when he can’t finish watching it in one sitting 

Rise Raph 

DO NOT GET NEAR HIM 

the closest available object and/or person will become his personal teddy bear for the duration of any scene that makes him emotional 

otherwise he’s reenacting the entire thing, as a one-man show or with his siblings 

definitely knows it by heart and all of the trivia 

particularly all the obscure actors and stunt people 

M&M Raph 

so loud, oh my wow, both him and whatever device he’s watching on 

reacts every time like it’s the first time he’s seen it 

especially loses his mind if he notices something he never has before 

talks about it for hours afterwards 

will subconsciously adopt all the catchphrases and verbal quirks 

[504py]

Wait you said you are a fan fic writer? Can you show us your work?

ooh, i've never published my work anywhere but i like to casually write about the fandoms i'm in. i haven't really written anything romantic (besides that time i wrote headcanons about what leon kennedy would be like in a relationship), but i'd be open to receiving imagine/reaction/headcanon requests if my followers wanted that! anyways, since hetalia is the main thing on my blog right now, here we go!

Axis + Allies Physical Appearance Headcanons

SFW, no content warnings at all.

Italy is handsome but he's so stupid that his stupidity overshadows his looks and people often don't even realize he looks good. He does think he is handsome, and takes great care of himself. I feel like he thinks like this, "Well, being pretty is one of the few things I can do, so I might as well be good at it!"

Japan looks nice! He's very hygienic and always makes sure to take care of his skin. He blushes easily. His hair partially covers his ears on purpose because his ears get red pretty often. He has quite a few moles and a few crooked teeth. His fingertips are rather red.

Germany looks alright but he's so uptight/scary that people just do not want to hit on him. His hands are very calloused. Also one who is very hygienic and takes care of himself a lot. He has quite a bit of body hair, but since it's a very light blond and not very visible, he doesn't bother with it. Nice straight teeth, but his canines are rather prominent.

Russia is cute! I actually think that people do not see his face very often because it's obscured by his scarf, and/or people are too scared to look him straight in the eyes (LOL). Also the issue of looking up to even see his face. He's usually naturally blushing even if just a little bit. Also his ears are kinda big. Gets bashful if you compliment the man himself, because he doesn't think of himself as particularly attractive, and will instead divert the conversation to, "A-Ah yes, Russia has many beautiful sights and landscapes!"

China is pretty!! He has wild eyebrows and lots of sun spots, freckles, and moles. He has a bad habit of leaving his lips dry though, LOL. Takes a lot of pride in being attractive. He is VERY good at doing makeup.

America doesn't care about his appearance much other than his hair, but he just tends to naturally look good. He hes a very boyish vibe. His glasses are always covered in fingerprints but he always forgets to clean them so he doesn't even bother anymore. He's learned to just ignore the dust LOL. I also think he has perfect teeth, like a good ol' Hollywood smile.

Canada is the prettiest out of the allies! People just don't notice because.. y'know. Canada tends to put a lot of care into his appearance in case someone does notice him, like having better posture, wearing nice, clean, ironed clothes all the time, and just having better self-care habits than America does. Though sometimes he forgets to shave or comb his hair LOL.

England is attractive but in a sorta unkempt scrunkly way. His teeth are crooked, and he has sanpaku eyes. His feathers get quite ruffled if someone brings up appearances, because... Not the best climate in England, and there's the whole British people meme LOL. But, the one thing he's got going for him is he's INCREDIBLY photogenic. I'd say he photographs the best besides China. He's great at modeling, and excels when it's for more punk photography.

France is just stereotypically good-looking LOL. He cares the most about his appearance, but since he's relied so much on just looking naturally good, he has a bit of a hygiene problem.. But hey, at least he's got the best closet out of anyone here– Ah, nevermind, China's got him beat there..

[aliusfrater]

i keep thinking about. What If dean had actually prepared for his death in season three. like, instead of enabling sam's premeditative grief he said i need you to focus on the now and after rather than the hypothetical 'if' that is my life. i am going to die and i need you to be ready for when i'm gone. both in the sense that sam enjoys this last year so there's enough to look back on that makes your grief worthwhile AND there's the set-up of a life worth living for that doesn't include revenge for when i'm gone. kind of like. what sam did making dean promise to go see lisa once he's in the cage

i've always thought that dean's deal for sam's life pretty much mirrors mary's deal for john's life in the sense that. it was always going to play out that way for them and there is nothing to be done to stop it (dean tried to stop azazel and mary but it's revealed that he never could) but there's something else to be said about the cycles of abuse and how they're perpetuated through grief. something else ive always thought about is the fact that the show itself can be seen through the lense of an allegory of perpetuated grief but i also think the cycle of abuse is imperative to the way grief is presented within the show. mary is coerced into a deal with john's life and through her own adamance of escaping hunting (as a metaphor for familial rot or abuse), she refuses to acknowledge that part of herself and it is through this lack of acknowledgement that grief is perpetuated. you have to acknowledge abuse to heal from it and the part of the inherent instability of the nuclear family that supernatural finds itself concerned with creating commentary about/exploring is the part that exists but people refuse to acknowledge. it's ignored for pretty houses in pretty neighbourhoods and obscured behind closed doors and when it leaks out of the holes in the foundation, that's what hunters are for. unpaid and unloved for what they do. through mary's lack of acknowledgement and therefore, lack of preparation, she has cursed the family she's created to perpetuate the cycle of abuse through grief. she dies and john didn't see her death or the thing that killed her coming and the grief is perpetuated through him. his children become victims at the hands of his abuse because of this grief. and it cycles from mary to john and through dean with john's deal for dean's life. "save him or kill him," is a similar ultimatum to that of azazel's own deal when it came to coercing her into her deal; she could either save john or keep him dead but in the end she didn't end up saving him from azazel because the same demon is who ends up killing him, just like sam. dean had never actually gotten the chance to save him or kill him (explicitly, anyway (i love incesthemes' theory that dean did end up kind of killing sam by distracting him from jake and getting him stabbed)) and the cycle of abuse continues in sam's grief and in his relationship with ruby, which is something that blossomed in his/as a direct result of grief for dean

then there's also my idea of sam as a nucleus character for the cycles of abuse and there's a possible connection between him sacrificing his life at the end of season five and pushing dean into getting out of hunting through a situation (lisa & ben) being pretty similar in structure to what he had before season one as being an attempt to escape this cycle of grief. it's very possible that soulless!sam as a character could also represent the very idea of grief itself — grief is, inherently, the loving of the memory of a person you loved. sam existing without a soul, without the parts of sam that dean had been forced to grieve is a shock to reality and it is, to an extent, acceptance of sam's actual 'death'. but then again, despite the brief clarity and relative healing that his escape from the cycle provided, dean does not accept soulless!sam at all. he fights to get sam's soul back and that is against sam's own will, knowing that it could kill sam regardless. the cycle of grief continues in that constant reminder that dean's choice could bring sam's death. likeeeee okay. "the minute he walked through that door, i knew. it was over. you two have the most unhealthy, tangled-up, crazy thing i've ever seen and as long as he's in your life, you're never gonna be happy," and, "i'm not saying don't be close to sam. i'm close to my sister but if she got killed, i wouldn't bring her back from the dead," it's all about the atmospheres of abuse that these relationship dynamics provide!!!! you're going to fall back into it over and over again if you do not process your grief!!!!!!!

[shiny-jr]

hiiii!! I recently got into quotev to read your most recent release, "how to steal a heart," and was curious if u have any recs for other yandere quotev fics? :o or just any quotev fics in general!! ^_^

feel free to disregard this question tho if u don't have any recs or simply don't want to answer!

Thank you, anon! I'm glad people seem to be liking that story so far. I'm hoping that I can find the time to write for it soon. Hopefully. Anyways, as for recommendations. That's a difficult request for me to answer for two reasons. One: I rarely have the time to read, and when I do read these days its physical books. And two: I'm terribly picky so if I don't like something about a fic its automatically out.

But, I managed to fish out a couple of things from my library that I finished reading ages ago. However, keep in mind, I meant what I said when I say that it has been a long time since I read these fics. So they may not be as good as I remember, or I may get some things wrong. Keep that in mind. Also, these are all yandere x reader stories.

Infectious Intent by Darkened Warrior. I remember when I first discovered this story, I stayed up reading it. I stayed up late, and legit got kinda scared because imagining certain scenes in this story and reading the details gave me the chills and was just not a good idea to read it while it was pitch black and the dead of night. Even the ending got me.

the martyrdom of a final girl by MAI. This is one of the more recent stories I've put in my library, and by recent I mean it's probably been there for almost a year now. I haven't caught up with the updates, but I remember the story really gave kinda protagonist and friend group in the 80's-90's sort of horror vibe to it. Although I don't remember if it got to the yandere yet. It really hooks you in with action that starts fairly quickly which I very much value when starting a new story.

Humorously Inconvenient Tragedies by riz. In all stories, I very much value action. If there's not action in the first few chapters, I usually toss the story out. However, this story managed to be the sole exception to that. I think it's the written tension that managed to keep me hooked. Like the questions of why and how, along with the tension between characters that keep me intrigued.

Bonus: Shameless plug for How To Steal A Heart because damn it if people won't write Latino yanderes then I gotta do it myself. Also because its a vital part in the whole oc lore I have which has been obscure up until very recently.

[brainrotharlot]

Ok, so, I've been on holiday in Japan for a few days now. It's my first time in Japan and I'm having a great time. It's really amazing and just like any ol' weeb, I've been wanting to go there for years.

But especially, I've been looking for Arlong merch. 🦈

At first, I wasn't very lucky. I only managed to find cards from the one piece card game. I think I got every card with Arlong that exists, which is super neat. I even got the cards for super cheap, some of them were on sale. Poor old boy was so unwanted.

But when it came to actual merch, Arlong was nowhere to be found.

At every one piece or figurine shop we visited (There's so many of those everywhere), I couldn't find any Arlong merch. Shops often carried very obscure characters who I only vaguely remembered existed, but rarely any Arlong.

The only stuff I found were quite ugly. But since I couldn't find anything else, and I was holding a bet with my boyfriend on who would find merch of their favorite character first and bring it home, I still got them. I even took a small figurine of Luffy stomping Arlong 🙄

The good thing with loving random as characters is that you won't spend too much money on memorabilia, I suppose!

We were still checking most shops we came accross, mostly because it's fun, but I was still on the hunt. At this point, just finding a pin or a keychain with the official art instead of an ugly chibi would have been great, but no luck! 😮‍💨

Until...

Until!

I found this chunk of a hunk in a shop!

I don't think this pictures shows just how big and cool this guy is. He's gonna dwarf the figurines we already have at home. He's big enough to stomp on the small figurine of Luffy stomping Arlong. I'll take better pics when we're home.

He was taking a whole shelf row just for himself. I heard angels sing when I found him. I was in the middle of a sentence, complaining about not finding Arlong again when I spotted him. It was so funny.

The cashier also liked him a lot. We had a few items, but he stopped when scanning that big Arlong figurine, saying "woah, so cool!" and then said "sorry, man", when he put him in the shopping bag.

Also, look at how tiny his head is compared to the rest of his body! So little room for brains!

Anyway, I'm extatic to have found it! I wasn't hoping to find something so cool that's Arlong-related

I didn't think I would find anything to top this off.

And yet...

You guys aren't ready.

We walked past a shop that sold one piece underwear (yes, underwear).

And this mofo was staring right at us.

Yes, it's underwear, with Arlong's whole f*cking face on it.

It's ugly. It's beautiful. I love it.

Don't be so jealous!

[hualian-fic-recs]

I'm alive/Fanfic Asks

Hey sorry I've been silent for so long. To be completely honest, Hualian and tgcf aren't the only types of fanfic I read, so I go down rabbit holes with other pairings for a while.

Anyway, I've been sitting on some asks for a while hoping I could answer them one day, but alas. I am turning them over to the public to see if others can help!

@nostalgiatyrant asks:

Hi again 👋 Im looking for another fic, but this time, the description comes from a friend. They said that “after the altar scene wu ming takes care of xie lian as he heals. Xie lian is like traumatized and dazed mostly so wu ming is doing his best commanding weaker ghosts and etc” It was a tweet, in case you haven’t seen it, and tbh, I love this idea so much— if you find any fics like it at all Id love to read them

Maybe: For you, I'll become invincible by HanaSheralHaminail. 177k, M, WIP. all the spoilers

Maybe: no light, no light by NeithOfTheVeil. 11k, T, spoilers

Maybe: A Long and Slow Recovery by ardenrabbit. WIP

@sineofu asks:

Hello , can you recommend m some fics where the heavenly official realise that hua Cheng have returned or a fic timed after his return. Thank you

anonymous asks:

Is there any fanfics where like the puqi villagers think that they are single and something happens?

anonymous asks:

Can u tell me if there is any hualian Spiderman au fics?? I saw a few fanarts and fell in love with them.

@uwuchengsbab asks:

Do you know any fics where Hua Cheng prays to Xie Lian before his 3rd ascension (during those 800 years) and Xie Lian hears him? Something angsty with a happy ending? I’ve already read what faith provides by parsnipit and it kinda sounds like falling in love by FlowerCitti but was wondering if you knew more?

Maybe: Dearly Departed by IlluminatingSceadugenga. WIP

@bri-bri1222 asks:

I was wondering if there are any fice where HC and XL are in a DDLB relationship and just filled with cuteness and fluff.

anonymous asks:

There's this Hualian fanfic I've never been able to find no matter what. I don't know if the tags are obscure or what. But the premise is that Xie Lian is cursed or to relive his worst injury over and over again at random moments and therefore the Hundred Swords wounds opens on his body unexpectedly and suddenly. The story is very hurt/comfort between Hualian and Hua Chrng looks after him and heals him. A plot point is that it happens in front of Mu Qing/Feng Xin at a temple and they discover the truth about what happened and take Xie Lian to Hua Cheng. I beleve it's multi-chapter. Ling Wen and Jun Wu also make appearances.

Maybe: Old Wounds and Old Friends by HoundsofCerberus. 4k, T, all the spoilers

Similar: A Splinter in the Heart by theearlymorningmist. 14k, T, spoilers

@theladypeartree asks:

Hello!! This might be a tricky one as I'm not sure it exists! Have you or any of your followers found any fics that have A-Yuan and Guzi friendship? I've found many crossovers, but not with the kiddos! Thank you for your hard work! ❤

anonymous asks:

Big spoilers for the later novels in this one: Hey there, I was wondering if there was any fics in which Xie Lian goes through with calling down the human face plague on Yong'an. I can't recall finding any and I'm not sure how to start looking. Thanks!

he who walks in sorrow by atomic muffin. 7k, M, read warnings!

Ok these are some I have been searching around for and haven't found much yet. If anyone has recs I would be grateful!

[todorroki]

Love Sea ep 8 thoughts

yall i'm gonna watch next week's ep with my vision partially obscured LMAOOO i know what's gonna go down and i'm dreading it (EXCEPT for fort throwing hands i'd like to see that)

i am Living for the mutrak cuddles. is it because we're gonna get pain next ep that they're laying all the sweet moments down rn LMAO

rak and vi are so so similar it's no wonder they're friends. vi refusing to outright tell mook that she likes her, and rak refusing to admit he's in love with mut. the parallels go crazy with these two. not to mention rak telling vi to go home this episode mirroring vi telling rak to go home back in ep 6.

i LOVE this shot of mut and meena so much. they're so similar it's endearing. also nina is such a strong actress. her growth will only make her better, and i hope she goes so far.

now, about the GL side story, i'm glad we're getting a lot more than the book gave. like YES they got a whole makeout scene and the ending credits this time!! i'm just very sad for mook. she is obviously into vi, but thinks vi is just playing around with her. like their whole problem could be solved if vi just said she liked mook. classic misunderstanding plot.

swerving back to mutrak, my god.... the way this scene is so erotic despite them both being full clothed. we didn't get any nc this ep, but mut pinning rak down and telling him he'll fuck him until he can't think of anyone else!!! that whole scene was so hot. that feather light touch on rak's neck... mut telling rak to Say what he wants yea.. the kinky d/s dynamic goes crazy with these two

AND the way fp just devour each other during kiss scenes... yeah mhmm i'm not recovering ever

yall fort's arm is so thick in love sea. my god like i don't think peat's hands r very small either (BUT IDK i've never seen him irl i wouldn't know). anyways the way they're holding each other is kinda driving me nuts sorry

dam.. and they're always just kissing each other like that.

be so fr mmy are yall putting extra nc scenes in the boxset. SPEAK INTO THE MIC.

i think it's so crazy an abusive absent father is trying to tell his son's man to break up with him bc he isn't "good enough" like damn what gives you the right?? like mut said, why should he listen to jak LMAO even jak's reasons were very weak to me.

also, production. why do that dramatic phone screen cracking to hell if you're just gonna make rak pick up a perfectly fine unbroken screen in the next shot ? is it just.. a figurative shattering of the screen to parallel the shattered glass of rak's past? that was a slightly weird way to have the scene play out but ok. i guess. peat's terrified-traumatized acting goes so hard as always.

no spoilers but the main conflict and its resolution is so.... hm. let's just say the way it plays out is not my favorite, though i'm always open to my opinion changing depending on how it's done in the series. i've been enjoying the way the series handles the novel scenes so far. ANYWAYS pain train until like the second half of ep 10 me thinks, and i'm dreading it a little LMAO i know fp are gonna make it hurt 100x more than the novel bc they're good at that.