#it's the underlying assumption that any of this matters

[lexicorp]

Exactly^^

So much of these sorta things are incredibly nuanced, and not so clearly cut. (And the thing that can be even more frustrating in the fandom is when they apply the grey area redemption experience opportunity to one but not the other in the fucked up cycle- especially if it's the initial abuser who gets it, like that's so indicative of bullshit like that irl)

Getting that exposure to people who don't coincide with that narrowed lens of perception that isolation tactics very often present when someone is manipulated and other abuse--is just so important to improvement/recovery. Because it breaks that warped reality to affirm that the generalized negatively isn't accurate. That there are people like Arcane and Optimus. Because it's just so easy to get it stuck in your head in this suffocating string of memories that leads to assumptions and anxiety that invoke those things like "I can't say this because they'll think I'm weak/stupid, or it won't matter anyway to say it so what's the point?" iiiiiiit sucks.

I love your points analyzing the Starcane lore cuz it's just so fascinating the dichotomy of him recognizing in part that she's safe (thus engaging in "dangerous behavior" he'd avoid with Megatron), while /still/ being battle ready at any little sign of a threat between them. And how all the intricacies psychologically are processed are so fascinatingly fragged up- cuz it's so hard to break that cycle, and you need someone really patient there for it.

And that is really what I love about writing this sorta stuff is that even if there are so many bad ending situations irl where the person isn't able to get better, where they perpetually self destruct no matter what anyone does, we can seize that control to create the good ending to give that hope that the struggle is possible to get through. Which is why I want a canon focus on Starscream lore approached like this so damn bad.

Also man the thing of someone who you know talks shit coming up being all fake niceties is so dang triggering. Honestly that flavor of reaction is Star and IDW redeemed Megs to me, cuz like--

The salt and just instinctual reflex built upon past disaster is just so palpable

I love the note on "But once the storm calms, everyone's hurt", cuz damn does it encapsulate it all so well. No one ever really wins.

And honestly, I def feel that inclination to exploring the family dynamics a bunch, even if, or especially if, we ain't gonna touch it irl. Cuz approaching things fictionally, is far easier to process, far safer. Least that's what I've found. Hell, the majority of any of my social competency has been built on analysis and research/observations of fictional characters (or true crime-).

And man, those contrasting concepts of seeing the kids as warriors and having that urge to raise them to "be like him" (born a lot from thinking they need to be tough and drawing from how he was made to be so), while also having that underlying knowledge that it was fragged up, and that he doesn't want them to go through what he did. That is just one example of all the types of ways that can create those internal conflicts and confusions that in turn lead to lashing out in different ways, because most of the time it's hella hard to put our feelings and motivations into words, and even more difficult to be sure the answers we give are actually correct. Cuz boy to we know that Decepticon lies to himself- and it's all about feeling in control

Then the doge vs cat struggles geez it rlly just does just come out so much in those moments of frustration. And that regret and reflection on it afterward is something that's just so much /ow/ and guilt and yet, our brains are gonna have the reflex come out yet again when triggered. Its often navigating the aftermath of the inevitable I find is what rlly needs to be shown. Cuz preventative strategies are all great in theory, but for those times when you can't catch it, or don't hear it until after it comes out, what then? And when emotions are really fragging hard already, that part feels impossible.

[Star too having that thought towards Arcane and the kids or Optimus that they're weak/vulnerable and the "I can take advantage of that" controlling nature is so where the spiral falling into the cycle starts. Cuz the want to be on top after having been on the bottom is so real. Its just like that thing of wanting to get them back or eye for an eye of seeking satisfaction/release from the pent up frustration. And even feeling justified mirror behavior cuz the other person got away with it.]

i need to see more starop where starscream is having trouble breaking the cycle, so he falls back into his old habits.

one of the most difficult parts about breaking the cycle of abuse is trying your hardest to not repeat the behaviors your abuser imprinted on to you. speaking from experience, it can be very hard when you enter a healthy relationship and find yourself thinking like your abuser.

so imagine, starscream finally joins the autobots. by some unfortunate circumstance, they lose an important battle. optimus encourages his team, but privately, he retreats to somewhere isolated to think. starscream finds him and asks what he's doing.

when optimus admits that he's disappointed in himself for not doing the best he could on the battlefield, starscream finds himself scoffing. "well, maybe we wouldn't be in the position if you'd done a better job to begin with," he grumbles, his voice slowly escalating. "i thought you were supposed to be some great leader. or is your reputation all a myth? because of you, now the decepticons have the advantage, and we're one step closer to losing this war!" outraged that optimus hasn't said anything, he shouts, "are you even listening to me, prime?!"

when optimus turns his helm to look up, starscream is spooked by what he sees. he doesn't see the face of someone about to drop to his knees and beg for mercy. instead, the look in his normally lively blue optics can best be described as haunted, almost dead, but clinging onto the last shreds of life.

the realization hits starscream like enemy fire. his voice box shorts out as he trips over his own words, trying to take them back. one thought comes to mind, and he knows optimus is thinking it, too.

i sound like megatron.

[spacemonkeysalsa]

Somebody (okay like a lot of people) said being attracted to a character makes it hard to be objective about them. So, for science (eh, for fun) I have interviewed a lesbian with nearly 3000 hours in Baldur's Gate 3 with questions about Astarion:

Q: Hi. I know you are a lesbian, but that doesn't preclude being attracted to Astarion, so let's also establish objectivity according to the experts. Are you attracted to Astarion at all?

A: No. It's kind of devastating to me because I love vampires. But apparently they do have to be lady vampires.

Q: Perfect. Have you ever tried to romance him anyway?

A: I started a couple of games with the intention of romancing him. It never worked out. I always end up with Shadowheart. Or Lae'zel.

Q: Do you like him, as a character?

A: Yeah. He's great.

Q: Ever kill him in any of your playthroughs?

A: Only to resurrect him, to see his lines. But I've never permanently killed him.

Q: Why not?

A: Because I like his story. I don't always enjoy talking to him about his story, because he's a bit much. But I want him to have that development and see it through. Be happy and free! Fuck Cazador. What a bitch.

Q: Is he an asshole?

A: Yes, but he's a lovable asshole. As much any of the others. Well, some of the others. Let's be fair.

Q: What's his alignment like?

A: I don't understand DnD alignment.

Q: For the record, have you played DnD?

A: Yes. I still don't get it. I have played for years now and this is all I know: lawful tends to equal "the worst in your group." There are exceptions though, like obviously I love Shadowheart, even though she starts off pretty strictly obeying Sharran dogma. Chaotic means "fun." Most party members in any given campaign say they are one thing but then act as true neutrals. And if you participate in a torture session with a DM controlled NPC and you forget to ask any questions, then your alignment will get shifted mid campaign. I learned that recently.

Q: I have no comment on that besides that maybe you should have listened to the bard in your party telling you this was stupid and pointless?

A: I wasn't running the torture session, I just held her still! I'm an accessory. I'm a barbarian, I can't be expected to think shit through or pay any attention to you when you speak.

Q: ...So can Astarion fall in love?

A: He's perfectly capable of that.

Q: If you had to guess his sperm count...?

A: Why would anyone ever care about that? Even if he were a real person? Why would anyone give a shit? Is this really a talking point? Fuck. I hate you guys. Just play the game.

Q: Whose your favorite companion?

A: Shadowheart.

Q: Tell me what you like about her?

A: The process of getting to know her, delving underneath that shell of secrets. She's so strong and sweet even through she can't easily show it right away because of all the bullshit she's been taught. In early access, when I couldn't get her out of the pod, either because that wasn't an option in the game yet, or I was too stupid, I've never figured it out, I was devastated. I didn't even know her yet, but I was so in love from the very beginning.

Q: Aww, that's really nice. What character do you think you are most like?

A: Karlach and Lae'zel. Maybe more Karlach, but definitely both. Not that Karlach isn't great, but I wish I was more like Lae'zel.

Q: And I should probably end on an Astarion question again since that was kind of the point. What about him do you find relatable, assuming that's anything?

A: I totally relate to wanting to put up a front to protect yourself. Can't relate to the method at all but the motivation is solid. Also, even though I have never romanced him, I have seen his DTR dialogue, and I really love it. I love how honest he is about his feelings. It's not romantic to be uncertain, but he doesn't care about that anymore, because he's just being totally transparent. It might seem weird that I would say that while being down bad for the least transparent character in the game, but that's a trait I personally value in myself more than a partner. Don't get me wrong, it would be nice, but for me I really try to be honest about what I am feeling. You can't DTR with Shadowheart really, the equivalent would be the stupid "you've never been in a relationship like this have you?" dialogue option which is never what I would say irl, but it's all I get in the game, and I think she's telling the truth when you have that conversation. With Astarion, it's so obvious. He's so obvious. I'm like that. I think it's very cool that you see that development in him, going from lying to survive to just being totally readable. Whether you're romancing him or not, by act three you know exactly what he's really about. Or if you don't, you haven't been talking to him, or like failed all your insight checks or something.

Q: Thanks! You were great. Anything to add?

A: Shadowzel forever.

[aro-barrel]

one of the first things any aro wants to know on their journey of discovery is, “what the fuck is romantic love?” so we end up reading alloromantic accounts of romance, just so we can try to understand. and it’s often a failed journey, simply because people describe different experiences or describe sensations that don’t necessarily equate to romantic attraction. sure, people get a warm fuzzy feeling when they look at their spouse, but alloplatonics might describe their platonic feelings the same. and sure, people are struck with a desire to hold someone close and kiss them, but is that really exclusive to romance? after a while, it becomes clear. love filled with subjectivity.

the question then becomes, what do we do with subjectivity? it’s the first step in disassembling "love." when we choose to investigate further, we may come to realize the subjectivities are (too often) conveniently erased to suit popular notions of love—these stem from dominant depictions of love that don’t reflect reality or practice. put simply: people are told how their love is. yes, they're told how to love, but there is the very real assumption that the same feelings underlie every expression of romantic love, no matter who you are. it's in all the tv shows and books, it's parroted by well-meaning people who wish for your happiness, it's sliced ragged until it's a narrow, "correct" form. but no one loves that singular way, even if they warp their own experiences to fit the narrative. if "love" is pared down, concentrated into an impossibly specific expression, we get awful tunnel vision when we try to conceptualize it. the lived, subjective experiences of love elude us.

so as aromantics, we take the abandoned subjectivities and play around with them. we might attempt to separate components of "love" and poke them with a stick, dissect them, take parts out, Frankenstein them. we might heave "love" into a jumbo garbage bin forever or build our own thing from scratch. when people write of love as a law of nature, we tear it to fucking shreds. there are no rules, it's not a sacred thing, not immutable. we fuck around with "love" on purpose. we carve our own space in a society that insists on myopia.

[eamour]

method · using subliminals

today, we are talking about subliminals. believe it or not, subliminals are what actually brought me to the law of attraction and later on the law of assumption. they are already used by a large number of people, even those who don’t necessarily believe in any law.

definition

subliminal (adjective) refers to something that cannot be recognised or understood by the conscious mind but still manages to influence the subconscious. a subliminal message, for example, can only be perceived by you without you having notice or being aware of it.

in a spiritual context, subliminals (noun) signify sounds, often music with underlying positive affirmations.

intention

the purpose of subliminals is to sway your beliefs in a certain direction or change them entirely. a subliminal that purposely tries to persuade you subconsciously into believing something which you find hard to believe in consciously. in short, listening to subliminals helps you "reprogram" your mind.

how to listen

you can listen to a subliminal with your headphones, your earphones, on your phone, on your laptop, on your tablet,… all variants are just as influential.

when and where to listen

when and where you listen to a subliminal is entirely up to you. it depends on your beliefs. the moment you think you need to listen to them for them to help you manifest or materliase your desire, that’s when you should listen to them. there is no fixed time or place. you can listen whenever you want, wherever you want.

how often to listen

how often you listen to a subliminal is also entirely up to you. you can listen to one subliminal the entire a day, two subliminals at the same time, listen overnight, while doing your chores, make a playlist for the day, create a time frame for when to listen or listen to it only once — you decide! again, there is no fixed amount of times. you listen as many times as you wish to.

what to listen to

you can find subliminals on various platforms! mostly, they are free and on youtube. there, you can follow your favourite subliminal channels, create playlists and listen/loop them. you may also find subliminals on spotify, apple music, soundcloud, etc.

why it works

it doesn’t matter how many times you listen to a subliminal, how intense you listen to it or where you do it. the only thing that matters is your overall mental attitude. while listening to the sub, all you have to do is to accept its promised results to make it "work" for you. keyword: belief. belief creates and helps creating. your only job is to decide you have your desire and persist in that. for example, you could assume that you get your desires while listening to the sub and full results after listening to the entire playlist. or maybe you get full results by just listening to the first second of the sub? your rules apply only.

with love, ella.

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

Hello! I've been getting more and more tips for writing thanks to your post about character flaws in my FYP. I was wondering, do you have any posts about character strengths/virtues? Thanks!

Rin's Character Strengths Masterpost ✨

Hey there, fellow writer! 💖 So glad my character flaws post found its way to you! You've asked about one of my FAVORITE topics to explore - character strengths and virtues! And guess what? I've been meaning to write this companion piece for ages, so THANK YOU for the nudge!

Let's dive DEEP into character strengths that go beyond the basic "brave protagonist" or "loyal sidekick" tropes we see everywhere in fiction. Because memorable characters need memorable strengths!

Why Character Strengths Matter Just As Much As Flaws

We often focus SO much on giving characters interesting flaws (which, yes, super important!), but their strengths are what make readers root for them and fall in love with their journey. Strengths are what make your character SHINE in those pivotal moments! ✨

The key is making these strengths SPECIFIC, NUANCED, and sometimes even PROBLEMATIC. Yes, strengths can cause problems too - that's where the juicy storytelling happens!

Beyond-Basic Character Strengths for Your Characters

1. CONTEXTUAL COURAGE 🔥

Not just "bravery" but courage that manifests in specific contexts:

Social courage (standing up to peer pressure)

Intellectual courage (questioning deeply held beliefs)

Physical courage despite specific fears

Quiet courage (the kind that doesn't look heroic but IS)

Moral courage (doing the right thing when it costs them personally)

Creative courage (risking failure and ridicule for their art/ideas)

2. RADICAL EMPATHY 💭

Not just "understanding others" but:

The ability to understand even villains' motivations

Cross-cultural empathy that bridges different backgrounds

Empathy that extends to those completely unlike themselves

Empathy that causes them to make difficult choices others wouldn't

Empathy that allows them to anticipate others' needs before they're voiced

Empathy for those society has taught them to fear or distrust

3. ADAPTIVE INTELLIGENCE 🧠

Not just "being smart" but:

Pattern recognition in chaotic situations

Intuitive problem-solving under pressure

Cultural adaptability when thrust into unfamiliar environments

Emotional intelligence that helps navigate complex relationships

Street smarts that complement (or replace) formal education

The ability to translate complex concepts for different audiences

4. CREATIVE RESILIENCE 🌱

Not just "bouncing back" but:

Finding unconventional solutions to setbacks

Using humor as a coping mechanism during dark times

Transforming trauma into strength without romanticizing it

Building community resilience, not just personal

Learning from failures rather than being crushed by them

Maintaining hope in seemingly hopeless situations

5. PRINCIPLED FLEXIBILITY 🌊

Not just "having values" but:

Knowing which principles to bend and which to hold firm

Adapting moral frameworks to new information

Navigating ethical gray areas without losing their core

Growing their values through experience rather than rigidity

Finding compromise without betraying essential beliefs

Recognizing when rules must be broken for a greater good

6. DISRUPTIVE KINDNESS ❤️

Not just "being nice" but:

Kindness that challenges systems of oppression

Unexpected kindness that changes enemies' perspectives

Kindness as a radical choice in brutal environments

Kindness that requires genuine sacrifice

Kindness that sees beyond surface behaviors to underlying needs

Kindness that doesn't expect recognition or reciprocation

7. CONSTRUCTIVE SKEPTICISM 🔍

Not just "questioning things" but:

The ability to discern truth from manipulation

Healthy doubt of authority without cynicism

Critical thinking that leads to solutions, not just criticism

Questioning their own assumptions first

Seeking multiple perspectives before forming judgments

Recognizing patterns of deception or misinformation

8. STRATEGIC VULNERABILITY 💧

Not just "being open" but:

Knowing when vulnerability creates connection

Sharing weaknesses to build trust at critical moments

Using personal stories to help others feel less alone

Admitting mistakes to model growth for others

Asking for help when independence would be destructive

Showing emotion strategically to influence outcomes

The Strength Spectrum: Make It Complex!

Remember that any strength exists on a spectrum! The most interesting characters have strengths that sometimes function as weaknesses depending on the context.

For example:

Loyalty becomes enabling when taken too far

Curiosity becomes recklessness in dangerous situations

Honesty becomes cruelty without empathy

Ambition becomes destructive when ethics are compromised

Compassion becomes self-destruction without boundaries

Independence becomes isolation when connection is needed

Confidence becomes arrogance without self-reflection

Cautiousness becomes paralysis when action is required

Strengths in Character Arcs 📈

The MAGIC happens when you show how strengths evolve throughout your story:

The Dormant Strength - A character doesn't know they possess it until circumstances force it out

The Misused Strength - They have the strength but are applying it in harmful ways

The Costly Strength - Using this strength requires genuine sacrifice

The Transformative Strength - This strength fundamentally changes who they are

The Shared Strength - They teach/inspire this strength in others

The Rediscovered Strength - A strength they lost faith in that returns when most needed

The Evolving Strength - A strength that changes form as the character grows

The Collaborative Strength - A strength that only emerges when combined with another character's abilities

Writing Exercise for You! 📝

Take your protagonist and identify:

One strength they've always had and rely on

One strength they don't know they have yet

One strength that's actually causing problems

One strength they'll need to develop to overcome the main conflict

One strength they admire in someone else

One strength they've lost and need to reclaim

Genre-Crossing Character Strengths

These strengths work across ALL genres:

Perceptive Pattern Recognition - Seeing connections others miss

Adaptive Authenticity - Remaining true to themselves while evolving

Constructive Conflict Navigation - Using disagreement to build stronger relationships

Radical Responsibility - Owning their part in problems without self-flagellation

Generative Listening - Hearing beyond words to underlying meanings

Intentional Impact Awareness - Understanding how their actions affect others

Courageous Vulnerability - Risking rejection for authentic connection

Principled Pragmatism - Finding workable solutions that honor core values

Remember that in ANY genre, your character strengths should connect to their internal journey as much as their external conflicts. The most compelling characters have strengths that are tested, lost, rediscovered, transformed, and ultimately deepened through their story arc. 🌟

The most powerful character strengths aren't superpowers or extraordinary abilities - they're deeply human qualities taken to their most compelling expression. They're the things we recognize in ourselves but rarely develop fully. That's why they resonate so deeply with readers across all genres and age categories.

Hope this helps you craft characters with rich, nuanced strengths! Let me know if you want me to dive deeper into any of these - I could talk character development ALL DAY! 💖

~ Rin. T.

[familyabolisher]

you said that you don’t take lines of questioning / thought about “romanticizing” dark topics (SA, incest, etc.) seriously. would you mind elaborating on that? what does it mean, if anything, to romanticize? i think i get why it’s a fundamentally reactionary (or just silly?) thing to be concerned about, but would you mind elaborating on why?

thanks! your posts have been very illuminating on this sort of thing.

okay so let's talk about "romanticise" as a literary discourse for a second because there are a handful of things happening with its usage:

is the assumption that there exists a state of non-'romantic' discursive matter from which something 'romantic' is being created, and the content of the text in question is the process by which that creation is happening;

is the use of 'romantic' to describe something that appears to the viewer as desirable and attractive, thus obscuring the ways in which it is harmful/abusive/violent/&c.;

is the idea that this 'romantic' state represents something morally odious due to the ideas it might impress upon the audience about the nature of the discursive matter made 'romantic' in question.

i think it's worth breaking each of these assumptions down because i don't believe that any of them actually hold water, and i find that they in fact telegraph some pretty reactionary paradigms around literary criticism.

first is the idea that there exists discursive matter that is not "romantic," here to mean suffused with cultural narratives that render it desirable, and that the matter in question only takes on these desirable qualities after undergoing this process of "romanticisation." by this logic, the matter is in fact prediscursive; the onus of constructing a “romantic” discourse lies solely with the cultural response. when in practice, normative cultural assumptions and the media that interacts with them exist in a feedback loop relative to one another, and it surely makes more productive sense to engage with the apparently objectionable material not as an object that creates or even necessarily reifies a normative cultural standard, but that interfaces with that standard in what could potentially be any number of variant forms. this widens the scope of our response as an audience—we might well say that a depiction of XYZ was tasteless, clichéd, voyeuristic, lacked interest in the interiority of its subjects, &c. &c., just as easily as we might say that it engaged with extant cultural narratives in compelling, thoughtful, meaningful ways. we're not taking the cultural object as the didactic “creation” of a social norm—we're situating it within the norms from which it already emerged.

the second is the idea that this ‘romantic,’ aesthetically desirable construction must necessarily obscure the ways in which the subject matter is harmful (however we define ‘harmful’). i find this position v condescending, towards creator and audience alike—one way of crafting horror that can be really exceptional when done right is the total sealing-off of the narrative from any didactic intervention, any suggestion that what's being depicted is morally “wrong.” the dissonance between subject matter and audience—and/or between subject matter and creator—can be brilliant when you can have faith that that dissonance exists. audiences aren't little babies who learn our morals from our media; we're prepared to critically engage with and respond to a discourse presented to us. as i said above, doing away with this whole “romantic” sheen as an obfuscator of violence opens us up to new, more precise, more compelling readings.

the third – and imo, the most damnatory – is the suggestion that the narrative itself represents a potential site of harm due to the underlying ideology that it imposes on those who engage with it. like, we're still adopting this approach whereby we construct and engage with narratives for instructive purposes; if we see a depiction of sexual abuse that renders the abuse pleasurable, aesthetically pleasing, desirable, then we absorb this idea that sexual abuse is pleasurable and aesthetically pleasing and desirable and thus covet the position of the subject in question. i don't think this is necessarily true! i'm obviously not suggesting that we don't absorb and reproduce our cultural narratives in media – as i said in the first point, there exists a feedback loop between the two – but i think we as audiences and critics ought to think more highly of ourselves than to imagine that we are incapable of seeing some fucked up shit given an aesthetic gloss without asking why the aesthetic gloss is being used, how the creator is making use of perspective, how we might respond to it, etc. and i just don't think narratives ought to be instructive or didactic; nor do i think creators bear responsibility for how their work is received to the extent that they are obliged to orient their discourse towards a presumed impressionable individual for whom every action or aesthetic contrivance is a categorical imperative. this is the oldest and honestly the most boring debate in the book; the question of "moralism" in fiction has been done half to death by now, and i don't see any use in rehashing it to any significant extent. suffice it to say that the “moralist” approach is stultified and limited and intellectually dull.

note that nowhere in this did i say that there are never narratives that ought to be called into question for their depiction of X, Y, or Z; just that i think we need better, more precise language to defer to do when we do so. simply put, i think it's possible to make a piece of art that holds these “romantic” qualities, and doesn't have a guy walk in midway through and go “by the way, abuse is Bad/age gaps are Problematic/mental illness is Unsexy,” &c., and still greatly compel me wrt its subject matter. & that is a statement which exists in straightforward contradiction to the idea that the term “romanticise” communicates anything necessarily and inherently condemnatory about a text, so, i don't use it.

[angelwheat]

TF2 ; Demoman X Reader

Author's Note: Frankly, I projected a lot of myself into this as I've been pretty down bad myself these days... I just thought I'd write some angst with my favourite man for a change. (gif not mine)

Topics: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

Pronouns: She/Her | Words: 4085

“Anybody seen that cyclops?”

“Where is that drunk son of a gun?”

“He’s probably passed out somewhere as usual. I’m sure he’s fine.”

She bowed her head and expressed her disapproval, exhibiting a small gesture of exasperation upon hearing her teammates’ jest about the widely held assumption of the Demoman.

Despite the disconcerting remark directed towards the Scotsman, the underlying question persisted in the mind of only one throughout the evening, prompting various conjectures regarding the whereabouts of him. Notwithstanding her diligent efforts to locate him, neither the rooms she meticulously searched, nor the crates of alcohol indicated by another yielded any answer to where he was.

Their team’s third consecutive victory brought about a celebration, characterized by the customary revelry of beer, friendly banter, and perhaps engaging in a drunken game of cards. That night, even the more reserved members of the team emerged from their usual seclusion to mingle amongst the rowdy ones, people like Spy and Sniper, or perhaps even Heavy, who often resided in the contentment of their own company.

With an empty glass in hand, the lady discreetly proceeded towards the kitchen, refraining from interrupting the lively discussion among the men engrossed in their game at the table.

Seeking to replenish her glass with another generous serving of wine, believing it is well-deserved after such a challenging and exhausting battle. As she entered the room, she encountered the Spy reaching for a bottle of wine stashed away in a hidden spot in the cupboard, before engaging in pouring himself a serving of one of his cherished and refined wines.

Hearing the gentle footsteps behind him, the Frenchman turned around, holding the tall wine bottle in one hand. The bottle was half empty already, and his glass had a perfectly measured pour of wine.

“Care for another drink?” He chuckled softly, seemingly slightly intoxicated as he smiled in a manner uncharacteristic of his typically serious demeanour.

“Well, if you’re offering.” She laughed, extending her glass towards him.

As she watched Spy elegantly pour the crimson liquid from the bottle, the girl took a moment to think.

“You never share your wine with anyone, Spy.” She pointed out, observing him as he withdrew the bottle.

Spy raised his eyes and spoke briefly. “We are celebrating, mon ami.”

She took a sip of her beverage, expressing her distaste for the strong berry flavour, as opposed to the rather bland wine she had previously.

“And it would be ungentlemanly of me not to offer.” He remarked, smoothing his suit with his free hand before resting against the counter.

Observing the Spy, she noticed his refined demeanour despite being tipsy. The Frenchman maintained an upright posture, although his distinguished manner showed a hint of decline. He stood casually and took a sip of his drink, savouring the exquisite taste of such a delicacy.

The lady imitated him by leaning against the counter a short distance away, lowering her gaze as she subtly shifted her footing. She gracefully crossed one arm over her body, while the other elegantly supported her wine glass, gently swirling the liquid within as she sighed.

Spy noticed her sudden change in mood and asked genuinely, “Something the matter?”

She gently brought her glass to her lips before lazily responding, “I’m just thinking.”

“About what, may I ask?” He hummed, his speech slightly slurring his accent.

Just as she opened her mouth a sudden boisterous commotion emanated from the game room, leading to the swift assumption that one, possibly Scout, had met defeat in their game of cards. Despite being initially startled, the girl soon found herself laughing quietly as a series of insulted followed in that recognisable Bostonian twang.

She watched the Frenchman simply roll his eyes in response to the boy’s fiery temper, while a hint of amusement played at the corners of his lips.

However, her laughter quickly subsided as a fleeting thought entered her mind, causing her gaze to lower towards the ground while her grin faded.

“Have you seen Demo?” She inquired, glancing at Spy.

The Frenchman looked to her, his brows knitting as he asked, sounding confused, “He’s not with the others?”

Amidst the throng, the girl would undoubtedly recognise the sound of his laughter, and on this occasion, it was curiously absent.

Demoman was generally a vivacious man, quite boisterous, some would say, but unique in all aspects of himself. He would never let go of an opportunity to have a drink and commemorate a triumph with his teammates. He possessed the ability to make every celebration unforgettable, yet he was missing this one.

“I haven’t seen him all night,” She responded, her face reflecting a concerned expression. “It’s not like him to miss a party.”

The Spy responded with a small nod, for she was correct as he recalled every occasion the Scotsman had been present.

Fully engrossed in solving the whereabouts of her teammate, she found herself neglecting her drink, her concern becoming overwhelming.

“The others don’t seem to care.” She mumbled once another roar of laughter erupted.

Spy maintained his silence, yet his attentive gaze conveyed a thorough analysis of her. It was evident from her somewhat closed-off demeanour, particularly her lack of eye contact, that a significant level of anxiety ran through her.

“I’m sorry, Spy.” She turned swiftly, placing her glass firmly to the counter. “I’m gonna go find him.”

With a humble nod, the Spy watched her as she left the room. He then calmly plucked a cigarette from his trusty case and continued his way, preferring to spend the remainder of the evening alone.

--

With a sense of urgency, the girl swiftly made her way through the corridors of the base, eventually arriving at the living quarters. She composed herself before reaching Demoman’s room, where a steel medallion depicting his class symbol adorned the centre of the door.

She paused for a moment, standing in silence. Leaning in gently, she hoped to hear any signs of movement from the other side of the door. When she heard nothing, she raised her hand and knocked nervously.

Taking a moment to quell the anxiety that was building within her, once again she listened for any subtle sounds coming from inside the room, visibly perking up when she heard faint shuffling.

“Lad I told ya to get lost.” Demoman grumbled, albeit muffled from the opposite side of the door.

A noticeable creaking sound filled the silent hallway as the door opened gradually, revealing a very sleepy looking Scotsman. As the bright light struck his eye, he squinted, adjusting to the contrast as his own room was shrouded with darkness.

With a sudden surge of alertness, Demoman’s grogginess vanished as he opened the door wider once he realised who stood before him. The Scotsman offered a prompt apology, to which she merely responded with a warm smile.

“I’m sorry if I woke you.” She said with an embarrassed chuckle.

“No, you didn’t. I-“ He cut himself off awkwardly. “You need something, lass?”

It was evident that he lacked his usual expression. Typically, his tone is cheerful, and he often smiled while he speaks. However, he appeared devoid of any emotion.

“I just wondered where you were.” She admitted. “You haven’t been around all evening.”

Observing the direction of his gaze as it lowered to the floor, the lady examined his slightly unkempt appearance. Short strands of hair emerged from beneath his beanie hat. The sleeves of his high-neck sweater were rolled up to his elbows, differing from his usual preference for long sleeves. However, what truly captured her attention was his eye, which appeared slightly bloodshot.

“Just busy.” He reassured simply, his voice quieter than usual, but the smile he gave was clearly not genuine.

She immediately noticed the way he nervously swallowed, and she could sense that something was amiss.

“We’re all celebrating.” She told, eyeing him attentively. “Do you want to join us?”

The way Demoman was not fully visible in the doorway already suggested what his response would be. His apparent detachment from reality was evident in the way he seemed to stare blankly at her.

“Maybe later.” He replied almost in a whisper, glancing over his shoulder at something she couldn’t see.

Demoman’s hand rested on the edge of the door as he stood slightly hunched beside it, as if he was seeking support from it. She perceived that he was keen to seclude himself once again.

“Do you want some company?” She fidgeted with her thumbs nervously, eyebrows arching in a polite inquiry.

The Scotsman paused for a moment before nodding slowly, almost sorrowfully.

He stepped aside to allow her entry into his personal quarters. She had only visited his space on a few occasions but was familiar with the assortment of components and papers related to his craft that were scattered around the room in boxes.

Behind her, the door closed with a soft click, and Demoman walked past her towards his workbench, where only a bright lamp illuminated the room.

“Make yourself comfortable, lass.” He lazily gestured to the rest of the room.

Swiftly glancing around the room for a moment, the girl politely sat on the edge of his bed just a few steps away from where Demoman had slumped himself at his desk. She crossed her leg over the other, sitting quietly as she observed his hands reaching for small materials and tools, guessing that he was constructing something new.

Her head tilted with curiosity as he worked with delicacy and caution, something almost no one got to witness. Watching him work had her unable to restrain from asking a question.

“What’re you working on?” She spoke softly as to not startle him.

“Just making a few changes to some of these.” He replied, sounding rather unenthusiastic as he reached for one of his well-known inventions placed nearby.

Held delicately between his fingers was one of his most remarkable inventions, an explosive invention indeed. Despite being aware that it was merely and empty shell of one of his prototypes, she politely nodded in acknowledgment, although it appeared that her subtle gesture went unnoticed, as the Scotsman scarcely directed his gaze towards her.

Subconsciously, she tapped her thighs, chewing her cheek as she surveyed the room with genuine curiosity. Her gaze settled on the photographs neatly displayed on his bedside cabinet, alongside what she presumed to be familial heirlooms and cherished keepsakes.

She had to refrain from cooing as she gazed upon a photograph of what seemed to be a young Demoman standing proudly with his parents.

The unexpected burst of laughter from the floor below startled them both, causing Demo to shake his head and huff in disapproval as he regained his composure.

“The others are wondering where you are.” She told, her tone gentle.

She swore she heard a faint sniffle from him before her responded.

“It doesn’t sound like it.” He retorted harshly.

Pressing her lips into a line, the girl pondered.

It’s blatantly obvious that Demoman is not his usual cheerful self. His tone has a strong tint of bitterness, which is extremely uncharacteristic of him. He’s suddenly so short-tempered and blunt, a harsh contrast to his typical easy-going and lively self. He’s certainly never been known to be a grumbler or someone who resorts to such snappiness unless he’s in the heat of a tough battle.

While observing the Scotsman with rapt attention, she noticed a sudden change in the way his hands began to tremble and shake vigorously, almost struggling to maintain control of his tools.

Her eyes landed upon an opened bottle of drink, the label of which she couldn’t read under the dim light, but it was seemingly abandoned rather promptly as its contents remained virtually untouched.

“Is everything okay, Demo?” She asked cautiously.

The Scotsman let his tools slip from his hands, hearing them clatter as they bounced onto the counter. He sank back into the chair, resting his head on the back.

“Aye, call me Tavish, please.” He drowned out, raising a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose.

She was aware of the Scotsman’s preference to be addressed by his first name, but she had developed a habit of primarily using his class name over the years, and so she politely apologised.

She furrowed her brows in a deep frown as she watched intently, seemingly lost in his own little bubble of emotions.

Tavish remained with his gaze averted from hers, directing his attention towards the ceiling as his hand slowly fell to his lap.

With a huff, the girl promptly rose from where she perched on his bed and walked towards him.

His gaze fixated on her as she stood before him, her hand gently pressing against the tabletop as she leaned against it.

“What’s going on with you?” She began, drawing in a breath. “You’re so snappy all of a sudden.”

Tavish simply blinked, his face reflecting a hint of sadness as his eyebrows lowered and the corners of his mouth turned down. He reached out with one hand and began to idly play with one of his tools, avoiding her direct gaze. He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down noticeably as if he was struggling to hold back his words.

“Do ye hear the things they say about me?” Tavish blurted out; his words laced with upset.

The lady maintained a neutral expression, fully comprehending the implications of his words. She folded her arms across her chest, her shoulders drooping as she let out a sorrowful sigh,

“I do hear what they say.” She replied truthfully, watching him cautiously.

Very soon, she came to regret her words, for Tavish’s face visibly contoured with hurt.

His hand brushed across his face, as if attempting to erase the traces of his melancholy expression. “There’s only so many times you can take hearing the word ‘cyclops’ in a day.”

She sighed, her tone becoming more cheerful in the hopes of seeing him smile even a little. “But if it makes you feel any better, I don’t see you that way.”

However, it seemed that Tavish was far too engrossed in the depths of his own despair, as her words appeared to have no effect on him.

“Thanks, lass.” Tavish breathed a heavy sigh. “But it doesn’t change what the rest of ‘em think o’ me.”

The girl moved closer to him, noticing the gentle touch of his palm against his forehead as he winced slightly when the light caught his eye. She assumed that he had given himself a headache after spiralling into such a deep bout of self-depreciation, and on this occasion, it was not due to being drunk.

“You alright?” She asked gently, her eyebrows arching in concern.

Tavish nodded as he grumbled. “I’m just fine.”

Looking away briefly, the lady casually surveyed the room, merely glancing over the numerous belongings he had on display.

Every corner of his room held something that reflected the man Tavish was. His collection of components, chemicals, and materials for his craft, as well as his diverse array of family keepsakes, might raise questions for some, but he didn’t mind as they were all things he was deeply devoted to.

Her gaze settled upon a familiar memento of him – his trusty knight’s sword. It was respectfully placed against a cabinet that housed a meticulously organized collection of whisky. Beneath the sword hung a half-sized tapestry depicting what appeared to be a Celtic family crest, a distinct symbol of his cultural heritage and pride in his homeland. She couldn’t resist admiring it, taking in the intricate details with appreciation.

As her gaze continued to drift, she failed to notice the manner in which Tavish discreetly observed her from his seat. Throughout the duration of her silent presence beside him, Demoman experienced a sense of tranquillity, as her amicable demeanour alleviated some of the stressors that burdened his thoughts.

However, Tavish couldn’t help but wonder if she were admiring, or silently scrutinising as she remained avidly engrossed in her surroundings.

“Excuse the mess.” He piped up faintly, sounding embarrassed.

“Oh, don’t worry there’s no mess.” The girl hummed as she turned her attention back to him. “Trust me, your room’s immaculate compared to Scouts.”

A bashful smile graced her face as she cast a glance at the Scotsman, who, in turn, appeared perplexed as he observed her, his brows furrowed, and his head tilted in curiosity. Intent on lifting his spirits, she continued to speak.

“Well, I was just thinking actually.” She stated, making a gentle gesture towards her surroundings. “Your room says a lot about you.”

Tavish’s continued perplexed expression conveyed his unspoken words.

“It’s obvious that family is your biggest value.” She told with genuine sincerity.

The Scotsman’s eye scanned his room, admiring his decorations as if they were brand new. However, his gaze inevitably settled upon the photograph by his bedside, his most treasured possession, and he couldn’t help the sad sigh that fell from his lips.

“Aye, it is.” He answered, nodding softly. “But it feels like I only put shame on me family name.”

She noticed his hunched posture.

“Even for having not lost both me eyes yet.” Tavish grumbled.

Certainly, Tavish encountered a look of confusion from the lady. He made a casual gesture with his hand, silently conveying to her that she should disregard his words.

“I’ve a lot of expectations to live up to.” Tavish admitted, glancing back at the unfinished prototype on his desktop.

She nodded slowly, lowering her head.

Silence descended upon the room, broken only by the faint sounds of a ruckus emanating from downstairs. It seemed that Tavish’s decision to seclude himself in his room was frustrating him, as evidenced by his huffing.

“So, that’s why you’re cooped up tonight.” She deduced. “You’re trying to improve these.”

The girl gave a quick nod to the small construction in front of him.

“Aye.” He responded shortly, his hands continuing to fiddle with the delicate materials.

Her lips pursed for a moment as she considered her words.

“But, as a team, we don’t have any expectations of you.” She reassured him, hoping to lift his spirits. “And these don’t need improving in my opinion.”

Tavish reached up to remove his hat, running his hand though his unkempt hair, some of which fell over his face, partially covering his eyepatch.

“But that’s just it, lass.” He stated, raising his hands to make a gesture. “So long as these go kaboom they work just fine in your eyes.”

For a fleeting moment, a gentle smile graced the Scotsman’s face as he emitted a soft chuckle while playfully imitating an explosion with his hands. The light-hearted gesture, in turn, elicited a corresponding smile upon the girl’s face. However, his smile swiftly dissipated as a contemplative thought crossed his mind.

“But I see the faults all the time.” He added, letting his hands fall into his lap.

At that moment, the girl could only stare at him, her face contoured with hurt upon hearing him persistently berate himself and diminish his own value to the team. Seeing the true fragility of his self-esteem surprised her, as his vulnerability was rarely full displayed, especially when he was completely sober. One would truly need to share a strong bond with the Scotsman.

“I can’t stand being known as nothin’ but a ‘drunk cyclops’ ‘round here.” Tavish admitted, his tone tinged with a profound sense of dejection as his words effortlessly escaped his lips without restraint.

His words interrupted her line of thought, causing her to shake her head disapprovingly. The lady straightened up from where she had been leaning against his workbench and stood directly in front of him. However, he avoided making eye contact with her, preferring to sit and be consumed by his own sadness.

“Tavish, get up.” She instructed, her voice gentle yet firm.

The Scotsman turned to her, momentarily puzzled, but complied when she made an impatient gesture with her hands.

Wearily, he ran a hand through his hair and rose from his seat, standing slightly hunched before her, as if the weight of stress could topple him at any moment. Before Tavish could ask a question, the girl moved towards him and gently enveloped him in a hug.

Taken aback by her sudden action, Tavish was startled by the unexpected contact, his eyes widening in surprise. However, he quickly regained his composure and instinctively wrapped his arms around her. As soon as he felt himself settle in the comforting embrace, Tavish relaxed completely, practically melting in her arms.

The girl sensed the way in which Tavish gently pulled her closer, almost pressing against him, feeling his curly hair brush against her neck as he rested his head tiredly on her shoulder.

“I just wish you’d value yourself the same way as all this around you…” She said with sincerity.

Her gaze fell upon his family photo once more as she looked over his shoulder, gently caressing his back.

“I’m sure your mum is proud of you, Tavish.” She spoke, her gaze still fixated on the photograph.

Tavish shifted his position and gently pulled away, maintaining a loose hold around her waist, still yearning for her closeness.

The girl noticed the prominent frown on his face.

“Aye, but there’s always better for her.” He told bluntly.

She patted his shoulder reassuringly and smiled warmly. “I think that’s just what parents are like. They always want to see their kids succeed, right?.”

Surprisingly, Tavish’s smile turned up slightly, greatly contrasting the dismal expression he withheld.

“I’ve come to realise that you can’t work yourself into the ground to please others.” She admitted, subconsciously placing her hand on her chest.

Nevertheless, Tavish appeared visibly touched by her words, as he seemed to have become more animated and relieved of his weighty stress, even if only slightly. The girl couldn’t resist smiling with him.

“Thanks, lass.” Tavish breathed, running his hand through his hair once more. “I think I owe you one.”

She shook her head and replied, “You don’t own me anything. You’re my friend, and I’d be here for you anytime.”

Taking a step back, she let out a contended sigh and placed her hands on her hips, but she couldn’t help but notice how Tavish remained close by.

Perhaps it was simply because he had only one eye, or maybe it was genuine, but Tavish appeared to be observing her attentively with his head tilted down, gazing at her through his brows: much like a puppy yearning for attention. His hands were placed in his pockets as he began to chew his cheek sheepishly, shifting his weight on his heels a few times.

“Don’t give me that look.” She told, her tone playfully stern as she smiled broadly.

She heard the soft chuckle that escaped his lips, and a bashful smile quickly spread across his face.

With a playful roll of her eyes and a gentle click of her tongue, the lady extended her hand to draw him into another embrace. Tavish responded promptly, drawing her near and offering a friendly squeeze around her shoulders.

Just before she withdrew, she gently patted his back once again. At that moment, her gaze happened to fall upon the clock on the wall, and an idea suddenly came to her mind.

“Tavish, the night’s still young. I’d say there’s still plenty of time to celebrate today’s win.” She suggested. “Shall we put this behind us for tonight and share a drink?”

The girl raised her hand up before her, anticipating him to accept her friendly proposal. Without hesitation, Tavish grasped her hand, unable to suppress the smile on his face as they shook hand in agreement.

“Sure. Why not?” He agreed.

Without delay, the girl practically skipped towards the door, gesturing for Tavish to join her with a wave of her hand.

“Come on then.” She spoke over her shoulder “I think the boys have got some drink left.”

As she pulled the door open, she paused in the doorway and turned to the Scotsman who stood a step behind, her hand gracefully raising to cover her mouth from the side.

“But I know where Spy keeps his fancy wine if we really can’t find any.” She snickered mischievously.

Tavish’s face mirrored the same expression of mischief that of the woman before him, and they both shared a light-hearted laugh as they made their way down the corridor, eager to enjoy the rest of the evening together.

[eldritchneuro]

Ah Knives. Classic abuser bullshit - 'You aren't doing what I want so there must be something wrong with you'.

Of course, Knives' evaluation of his brother is a deeply subjective one, and deeply flawed. He considers Vash's attitude towards others nothing but an impediment, even though Vash's empathy has very much saved his hide multiple times. Be kind enough to folks and you too can snag a genetically-modified assassin and a couple of plucky reporters by your side! (If you know anything about what some journalists have to get into for their stories, then you know Meryl and Roberto are far more intimidating then Woowoo in the long term!)

Not that it matters of course. 'Sickness' is just an excuse here. Something to point to in order to justify abuse. And it's not just limited to Knives. It's rhetoric that extends throughout the Eye of Michael itself, and indeed into many real-life evangelical cults.

'These people are sick, and making them not-sick is more important than then their human rights' isn't just the excuse Conrad uses to torture innocent children. It's the drivel of the Nazis, of the colonists that murdered entire indigenous civilizations. It's the excuse used for conversion 'therapy', and the horrific treatment of people in prisons and psych wards. It's the same abusive bullshit swallowed and vomited up again and again and again.

Actually, speaking of stuff like psych wards, are there any other disabled people who find Knives and co's assumptions about the dependent plants rather... uncomfortable? Specifically:

Knives' attitude towards 'freeing' the plants is that they should be made independent. Removed from their bulbs, removed from human care and made into something that can walk around and do stuff.

Which seems fine and dandy. He's right that the plants deserve autonomy and choice. But it's the core assumption underlying this that's the problem. To him, the plants in their bulbs are also sick. They are sick specifically because they are in their bulbs and can't do what he and Vash can do. Therefore, they must be 'cured', even if it means violating them.

Even though Stampede saves it's critique specifically for the way outsiders take advantage of dependent plants, not plants having to be dependent in the first place. And for all his talk, none of Knives' sisters are asked to weigh in on his grand plans. For all we know, many dependents could be quite happy the way they are and have no wish to be anything different.

To clarify my point, what happens if we reframe this dynamic? What if we were talking about, say, a high support needs autistic person, who literally would not be able to survive without being dependent on others? For people like that, the assumption that liberation and agency must mean independence isn't just untrue, but also something that will (and does!) prove fatal.

See the problem?

[lpham2525]

Traditional vs. "Forged" families

You know how traditional families have an underlying set of assumptions about them? Like “blood is thicker than water”? Or “Families will always be there for each other, no matter what.” While this may be well and good, it can lead to taking our families for granted. As in “Of course, my family will be there for me, to bail me out or support me or protect me.”  

What about the opposite? What if two people get married knowing that it’s a fake marriage? What if a child gets adopted knowing that she’s in a fake family? That it might not (and probably won’t) last forever? That it’s for decidedly non-traditional reasons, and one day, it’ll all evaporate?  

But because of that, they DON’T take each other for granted. They don’t wake up every day thinking this fragile family they created is always going to be there.

And because of this, they sink themselves more into every moment they have together. Because they know the end might arrive sooner than they think (or want).

It’s different when you marry someone with the promise of being together forever. Or when you accept a child into your life and take on the responsibility of caring for that child for as long as they need it. But it’s entirely different when, from the beginning, every member knows that their family is built on tenuous bonds that might shatter at any time.  

It really sheds a new light on the phrase: “You don’t marry for a lifetime. You choose each other every day.”  

I hope the Forgers continue to be the Forgers, and that every day, they wake up and choose each other. 

[hrrtshape]

hi Emma, I'm back with something more to chat about :)

What do you and other people think of tarot? I need your thoughts because I have thoughts and theories about it in the context of law of assumption and manifesting

Specifically, about the readings that speak of improbabilities, of force and incompatibility, of delays and not yets and not nows

Like have you or anyone else "proven" a reading wrong? Experienced other than what a trusted reader told you?

I myself intentionally got a few cheap etsy readings yesterday for fun and as an experiment since I'd never had them before, and i wanted to discuss em since some were the exact opposite of one another

Like, for example, one said my sp was my soul mirror, and another said whatever connection I sense with that same person is one-sided and very unlikely to be reciprocated or manifest physically, just fantasy and obsession on my end

I asked them all pretty much the same questions, although in some of them I included more of the physical circumstances and the term "imagined," so maybe an underlying stigma based on context and circumstances affected the readings I got (Like in some involving my sp, imagining seemed to imply one-sided fantasy, but in others like the context of success, imagining or having that ideal version was seen in a more good light, and not just fantasy, if that makes any sense?) But how can imagining one thing be more practical and worthy of belief or faith than another? Is imagining yourself with your sp, despite physical circumstances or inexperience, truly just impractical, forceful fantasy?)

There's also the added thing where if you do provide more details for your reading, either through choice or neccesity, if the details include those physical obstacles and limitations that have given you pause and doubt and caused you to reach out for an outside opinion or reading in the first place, the reading is likely going to give those obstacles meaning and weight as though they truly matter and exist in terms of your desire or imagination being more than just fantasy or fancy. Even just the fact that many readings ask for your and your sp's date of birth just as a means of personalization and accuracy can still influence the reading as though any physical discrepancy in age, or even current lifestyles or interests, in fact matters and affects the reality and possibility of your relationship with one another

Lol, maybe it seems like I'm bitter that some of the readings told me exactly what I didn't want to hear about certain topics despite others telling me exactly what I wanted to. And maybe i am bitter, because the ones that reflected that hesitation or doubt or impossibility? All objectivity and rationality lost, i refuse to accept it, i don't care how many positive reviews they have about accuracy and precision or how many times I myself have directly doubted me being with my sp, that man is mine and always has been

HOWEVER, I don't think it was a waste of money! I'm not saying tarot is completely not fun, either, but it does seem like it's just a snapshot, a reflection of one mental state out of infinite ones. A candid photo of you either in terrible lighting with horrid posture and a blurred, dirty camera, or a candid photo of you in your natural state without the distortions made from doubt and trauma and such. The negative ones about my sp (honestly not like they were completely scathing or negative, just triggering given how they implied there was little compatibility and no likelihood of it being anything more than what i was making it out to be in my head) did horrify me in a way all terrible candid photos do, but the positive ones about my sp and my life were nice when I dont let them be overshadowed by the opposite readings. Just an echo of the darkest, most negative and "realistic" thoughts I've had about my love life or specific person, for example, but not an objective and fixed or accurate representation of my current state unless I say so. There are infinite photos, I guess even in this context, it's up to you which ones you claim and declare to be an accurate portrayal of you now or predominantly, regardless of the reader's renown accuracy or precision

In short, tarot seems circumstantial, but reality creation and shifting is supposed to be anything but that, I think. Fun, but something you're supposed to be selective about when you want to take it seriously.

Its like if you were to walk up to someone in a dream with a mic in hand and ask them, what do you think is possible for me? What do you think I can do in this dream? What do you think is going on here? What do you say happens next? What do you say is happening for me? Do you think we'll make a good couple? What about this, does this thing I have in mind suit me?

An invitation from God to creation, from observer to observed, dreamer to the dreamed, from self to form of self, to provide an "external" opinion or observation, judgement, when there isn't actually someone or something else you're asking, let alone with more knowledge and authority than you. So you ask, and whatever answers back answers, but not an objective answer, given its only every based on something circumstantial and transient since any question or doubt regarding your desired reality or identity is pretty much always from circumstantial evidence and appearances, which themselves are actually always subject to change. So they either echo your darkest most primal fears about anything and everything given you've opened the topic for discussion like there still should be a discussion, as though what you want is still a question for debate and external wills and opinion. Or, they affirm what you've thought about yourself in your most positive moods, and even those neutral states between. Aka, an invitation to yourself, permission even, to judge the present moment and yourself negatively, positively, or neutrally.

So back to the other point I'm bringing this to you! Odds, probability, will, force, surrender, delays, planning and timing and such. Timelines and destiny and life paths. What is meant for you or not. Who is meant for you or not. What will and will not manifest physically not. All those things. Hot topics in tarot, key fixtures of tarot, unless im mistaken, but if you are the creator of your reality, unless you want to abide by those things or rules that tarot ascribes to, aren't these all imagined barriers of separation?

Like, if we're all that is, not separate from anything or anybody or any idea or conception we can think of, given that everything and everyone is us, how can your sp not be meant for you or a relationship not be meant to manifest physically? How can your desired life be anything but yours right now? Not three months from now, not with a little more planning, and not with compromise and surrender or negotiation, but now?

No separation means any answer or conclusion you're making room for discussion for, the yes, the no, the maybe, all of them are true irrespective of one another because you are all things at once. Faith and knowing of being one over the other, of one answer being right over another, is something you as the observer, creator, dreamer, etc, can do and experience, both internally and physically, naturally, to alter your reality. You're not really changing anything, creation is finished. But you are being selective from the knowing you are not separate or limited.

What do you think?

tarot is a mirror, not a mandate. it doesn't tell you what’s going to happen, it tells you what you're currently vibing with, consciously or unconsciously. if you shift your state, the future changes because time isn't real and the cards are just cardboard channeling a very online version of your subconscious !!

societal scripts. collective bias. people love believing it's rational to imagine success but desperate to imagine love. but in loa logic, it's the same act. imagination is creation. no hierarchy. anything you imagine is valid and real and yours now.

asking tarot "what's going to happen?" is basically saying "i believe this is up for debate." but it's not. you're god. the cards work for you. not the other way around.

you dont manifest what’s meant. you manifest what you accept as meant. period !!!

[kaleb-is-definitely-sane]

hey, just a friendly note: i sometimes see your posts and that you refer to g-d as hashem, the hebrew scriptures as the tankh etc. the tankh in judaism and the hebrew bible in christianity are not the same: they are ordered differently and have different canon. hashem, which means "the name," is also ontologically disconnected from the christian trinity for a variety of reasons that the tumblr ask box is too long to get into. i also see that you are christian. i would highly encourage you to research why jews use the terminology that they do in reference to their faith practices and try to avoid expropriation of judaism for christian dialogue. interfaith exploration is fine, and it is very important to understand the jewish roots of christianity. but please do so with self-criticism and respect.

Hey, Anonie!

I'm assuming you're here from eesirachs blog because that's the only reason you would've come to this blog.

So, when I say "Tanakh" as opposed to "the Hebrew Bible" (a term that I don't use to begin with alongside "Old Testament" for several reasons) I do in fact mean the TNK, and in that order. That is the order I read them in, the order I tell people to read them it, and etc. As I'm sure you're already aware, one misses out on a lot when one doesn't read it as designed. As of a few weeks ago I've started saying "the prophets" (in comparison to "the apostles") as a way of referring to the writings of Moses and the prophets (which is how the text describes it's own authorship and composition). As to the canon, please correct me if I'm wrong but

The Instruction, 5 Books traditionally ascribed to Moses

The Prophets (4 Former + 3 Latter + the 12)

The Writings (3 Poetic + 5 Megillot + 3 Historical).

Is there an extra book(s) that Protestant Christians have? Or that is in the Tanakh canon that I haven't listed? (tagging @entanglingbriars in case Anon doesn't see this because this is an important question) I understand that (some) Judaism(s) have a different conception of canonicity that Christians, even more of a difference than an Orthodox Christian would have from a Protestant one, but the issue of extra books is a much bigger deal.

Edit: everywhere I look it says "In Protestant Bibles, the Old Testament is the same as the Hebrew Bible, but the books are arranged differently." So yes, very confused as to where the idea of a different canon comes from.

As to the issue of deity: the issue of whether or not Jews and Christians (or literally any other religions) worships the same deity is a matter of hot contention and a statement like "hashem is ontologically disconnected from the christian trinity" is a statement loaded with tons of historical, philosophical, and theological assumptions and can't just be said as is. The fact that I do not agree with this statement (at least, not in it's entirety) is evidence enough for differing sophistical, philosophical, and theological assumptions and emphasises. As I try to tell many Christians, no theological position just comes "sola scriptura" so to speak: there are tons of unstated assumptions that come with that position and without understanding those underlying assumptions it's very hard to have a conversation about it. Also, I am aware of what "ha-shem" means.

I was going to go into it but uh I'm tired and my head hurts lol. And have lots of school work to get done. If you would like me to you can send me another ask but for now I'm going to leave it at what I've already said. As far as I am concerned, and as far as is relevant for this discussion i believe, I worship HaShem.

I am quite aware of *why* Jews refer to G-d as "Hashem": i do so for the exact same reason. I never use the epithet personally, only ever in "academic" or public spiritual writings, and only ever use it in public as to not offend or possibly harm any Jews or Christians with similar feelings on orthopraxy and divine name usage.

All this said however, I can promise you that I have and will always try to do everything with awareness and respect.

[fairys-dream]

vent about the nb experience..(referencing some wolvie panels from What If?…1989, issue #93)

i consider my views on my 'gender' very unique compared to others, to the point where i believe using any words to attempt to describe my experience would get misunderstood. due to that, i dont belong in any boxes, so its hard to exist within the queer community at all(cuz of everyone relying on labels)

hunter or hunted. predator or prey. man or beast. male or female. man or woman. guy or girl. butch or femme. gay or lesbian. cis or trans. gender or genderless.

im at the point where i consider myself more 'beast' than the sort of man i was, or thought i was supposed to be. yet, i still have ties to some kind of experience, so im not entirely without gender...its like. everyone else around me puts their gender first, while i put myself first, and that other stuff is just extra. i dont consider my 'male' features as a guy thing, its just how my body looks. i dont consider the words i use as being my gender, its just how i attempt to communicate my emotions

'so are u nonbinary in a fag way or a dyke way? u cant lack a side entirely.'

this is kinda why i identified with fag for so long..but lately i havent even been considering myself gay or trans anymore, just existing without needing to put a label on how i feel(tho tbh ive considered just picking heterosexual for the Bit, due to my attraction to those with physically the opposite sex to me. an extension of the Bit would also be to switch my sex label back to F, but that’d likely get me kicked outta some airports..X would be pretty good too)

my experience is still undeniably queer no matter what i say about myself. ive been on hrt for almost 7 years, ive had top surgery, ive changed my legal name n sex, i pass as ‘male’ no matter how i dress or how much makeup i put on, how could i be allowed to use any other words if ive done all the things that lock me into a queer lifestyle? do i even get the choice to not be such at this point?

why do we divide different human experiences up into 2 different sides anyway?

ig thats why i feel so attached to logan. he doesnt belong with humans, and he doesnt belong with mutants. he could pass as both, normal or queer, but on the inside he knows theres still always gonna be something disconnected about himself that keeps him from truly feeling at home in either categories

ngl i probably just need some nonqueer friends again who dont know shit about any queer experiences so i can trust theyre not making any assumptions. being in the queer community this past decade has been the most alienated ive ever fucking felt, trying to find home in a place where by all means of logic i should belong, and never getting there. i think i'd rather just be seen as a mutant thru the eyes of those who confidently dont understand, rather than those who think they do due to being in the same community(this isnt saying i havent enjoyed my queer friends company, its just theres always this underlying layer of worry in the way im being viewed ig)

this bit from fight club describes it pretty well i think—

its knowing that others are likely only loving me due to the familiarity in false perceptions of me, trusting me only cuz they think we share the same experience

i dunno. im just tired of people perciving me n thinking they know me just based on some words. i wish i could describe myself in a way where u could.

[ashes-goin-down]

Jealous Kyle, my beloved... A short Kyman fic.

Who exactly is that guy Cartman's always on the phone with? Kyle has answers. Unfortunately this is how Stan and Kenny must learn that their friend is completely insane.

“...so now I’m not allowed at the ‘Kesha’s Career’-memorial site anymore.” Cartman finishes telling them about his Sunday afternoon. “But why was the queen of Denmark there?” Stan asks with mild interest and a mouth full of peas. “Because-” Cartman begins but is interrupted by the ringing of his phone. “Oh, that must be Lawrence!” Excitedly, he jumps up from his seat and quickly heads towards the hallway to take the call away from the noise of the cafeteria, leaving his three friends behind. Kyle briefly looks up from his English homework to watch him exit the room and rolls his eyes. “What do they have to talk about that’s so private?” Stan slightly frowns at him in confusion. “Well, you were the one who told him you’d break his phone if he didn’t stop talking on it at the lunch table.” “Yeah but”, Kyle waves him off with a dismissive noise, “you know.” Stan does not, in fact, know and neither does Kenny for that matter. However, neither are in the mood to spend another lunch period listening to one of Kyle’s tirades and so they decide not to ask for clarification. “Mhhmm mmh mm.” Kenny instead remarks. “Yeah, they talk like everyday now.” Stan agrees as he picks at his food, visibly uninvested in the topic but going along with it for the sake of small-talk. “Who even is that Lawrence-kid?” “They met in some online game.” Kyle explains somewhat absent-mindedly yet audibly annoyed, his eyes once again fixed on his homework. “His name is Lawrence Friedmann. He isn’t from South Park, though – he lives in a place called Crofton but goes to school in Norfolk because he’s part of some kind of gifted program there and he’s apparently kind of a big deal on their volleyball team.” Stan doesn’t say anything and Kyle notices that his dishes have stopped clinking. When he looks up his friend is raising an eyebrow at him in a confused expression. “What?” Kyle asks defensively. “How do you know all that?” Stan questions him perplexed. With a huff Kyle picks up his milk carton, shakes it around briefly and places it back down without drinking. “I had to make sure Cartman wasn’t, like, trying to make him eat his parents or something!” “So, what?” Stan attempts to piece the information together. “You stalked the guy’s social media to warn him?” Kyle frowns slightly. “He's really into conspiracy theories so he actually doesn’t really have any social media. Only a twitter account where all he does is retweet posts about the ‘Cornhuskers’.” Stan also frowns, visibly thinking. “Then how the hell do you know all that?” Biting his lips, Kyle concentrates on a particularly interesting sentence in his essay on the underlying themes of Hegelian determinism in ‘Young Sheldon’. “Kyle?” Stan insistently presses but he attempts to ignore his friend for a moment longer, deeply regretting having spoken up about this at all. “Kyle??” “He has no photos of himself online – no information whatsoever!” he eventually defends himself. “I even only found out his address by pulling an envelope from Cartman’s trash.” Stan stares at him in disbelief, visibly awaiting an explanation differing from the assumption that is forming in his head. When he’s certain that Kyle isn’t going to provide one, his eyes widen and he shouts: “You actually went to fucking Nebraska?!” Kyle urgently shushes him, quickly looking around to make sure that nobody is listening in on their conversation. He does not need Cartman to know that!

It’s a good thing that their table is routinely so loud during lunch that the other pupils don’t pay them any mind. Still, Kyle is thankful that Stan manages to calm himself down enough to lower his voice as he continues: “Isn’t Norfolk like ten hours from here? When did you even do that?” “Nine.” Kyle corrects him. “I went over the weekend when my parents had to take Ike to Ottawa for Canadian molting day. I took the Greyhound directly after school on Friday, stayed at the ‘Motel 6’ and was back by Sunday afternoon. It’s not a big deal!” He says the last sentence with much emphasis, as if it should suffice to end the conversation. Stan and Kenny make eye contact and a silent agreement that it actually is kind of a big deal. “So let me get this straight…” Stan turns his full attention back to Kyle and folds his hands on the table. “You rummaged through Cartman’s trash, drove a combined nineteen hours with the bus and spent a weekend alone in some shady motel just to tell some kid he likes to talk on the phone with that he’s a dick?” “I had to make sure that guy’s not actually a pedophile or a serial killer or something!” Kyle cries out, his voice the same volume he had admonished Stan for just a moment ago. “Wait, I thought you said you were worried about Cartman doing something to him, not the other way around.” Stan questions him.

Kyle looks at him silently, still frowning, and blinks a couple of times. “The point is-” he begins, scoffing as his eyes dart around the room. “If Cartman’s talking to strangers from the internet it’s our duty as his friends to care about his safety!” “I don’t.” Stan retorts bluntly. “Mmm hmm.” Kenny agrees. Kyle growls in frustration as he feels his face begin to heat up. “Yeah, well, it’s not my fault you two have no concept of common human decency!” he chides. “Dude, it’s Cartman. I’m sure even if the kid did turn out to be some kind of serial killer he’d be able to take care of it himself.” Stan takes a bite of his food and chews slowly before continuing with a full mouth: “Also, what are the odd that they’re both psychos?” Kyle grits his teeth. “Look, can we just drop it?!” “Mmmh mmmmhp mmph?” Kenny ignores his plea. “I didn’t… necessarily speak to him directly.” Kyle mumbles, avoiding his gaze. “You went all that way and then you didn’t even talk to the guy?” Stan asks baffled. “Then what did you do? Just watch him from the bushes all weekend?” Kyle doesn’t answer. “Kyle, what the fuck?!” Stan gestures his hands wildly. “I thought he might take it the wrong way if he knew some kid came all the way from Colorado just to tell him something!” Kyle attempts to justify himself. “You think?” Stan says dryly but his sarcasm gets ignored. “I left a letter in his mailbox instead.” “Mmmh mm?” Kenny asks curiously. Kyle awkwardly rubs a hand against his face, mumbling into his palm as he answers: “Mmmmmhm mphm mmmm…” “Mmh? Mph mm hhmm!” Kenny complains. “Yeah man, speak up.” Stan agrees. “We can’t understand you.” “It said...” he discloses through clenched teeth, “…‘Stay away from Eric Cartman if you know what’s good for you!’” “Mmmhmm.” Kenny states matter-of-factly with a slight shake of his head. Stan squints his eyes and presses his lips together tightly before speaking: “Kyle, I think-” “Shhh!” he shushes his best friend sharply as he spots Cartman making his way back to their table, then glares at both both boys across from him as he seriously urges them: “Don’t. Say. Anything.” They have no time to reply as Cartman is already plopping his ass back down onto the bench, causing the trays on the attached table to rattle. “Oh my God, you guys!” he exclaims enthusiastically, “Lawrence just told me the funniest-” “Nobody gives a shit about Lawrence!” Kyle interrupts him with unwarranted volume. Stan and Kenny exchange a wordless glance.

[vladdyissues]

Yeah sorry if my question was a bit confusing. But that question was meant for you. Let me try to rephrase my blabber.

When it comes to the few times you've drawn Danny as trans is it because you found the idea to be hot instead of thinking of danny as a character? if it wasn't only sexual when it comes to T-Danny then what do you think of the Trans Danny headcannon?

That is as literal as I could try to phrase it 😓. Sorry if that might sound accusatory but I mean this question with no malice, just curiosity. Since to only times you have drawn him as trans are sexually I was wondering. lastly, I felt the need to clarify that I am trans because the times I have said I don't like a trans danny someone has always bashed me for it, either calling me transphobic or don't appreciate any kind of representation when the “representation” in your case is just porn. I trans headcannon characters all the time, I do in fact think your art of trans danny is really good. But Danny as a character just doesn't hit my trans-dar as it does for many others. Because for me he's square is not going to fit into the circle hole.

You may be asking these questions with no malice, anon, but I'm detecting a strong tone of disapproval. I could be mistaken—it might just be a language barrier and words getting muddled—but nevertheless, please allow me to respond with some questions of my own:

Why does it matter what I think of the trans Danny headcanon? I'm no authority figure. I'm just some goofball on the internet. My opinion is no more (or less) valid that the next person's. If I prefer Danny as cis, that's just my personal view. I'm not intimidated by other people having a different opinion than me, nor am I going to force them to see things my way. I'm not a missionary. I don't proselytize. Live and let live, that's my golden rule.

Since to only times you have drawn him as trans are sexually I was wondering.

I like drawing erotic art. I decided at the last moment to challenge myself and draw a trans variation of Danny having sex with Vlad. I thought it would be cool to try something different. It's really no deeper than that.

I felt the need to clarify that I am trans because the times I have said I don't like a trans danny someone has always bashed me for it

I'm sorry you've received backlash over an opinion, anon. No one should ever feel the need—be forced, in other words—to disclose private, personal information about their sexuality or gender in order to justify something as silly as a headcanon about a cartoon character. I find that kind of behavior detestable. It's only a few degrees' difference from forcing a person to expose their genitals and "prove their gender" before they're allowed to use the restroom.

You said "times" in the above quote, so I gather this has happened more than once. Do you regularly find yourself mentioning that you don't like trans Danny to other people in the fandom? Are they asking you point blank, or are you offering your opinion freely? Could it be your choice of words is causing others to get the wrong impression of you? Because in my experience, a simple "trans Danny is okay, it's just not my thing because of personal gender reasons" is a perfectly valid explanation, and I don't know anybody (other than haters) who would call a trans person transphobic over something like that.

[...] when the “representation” in your case is just porn

The phrase "just porn" raises a lot of big red SWERF flags, anon, I can't lie. What's wrong with porn? Does it have any less merit than other forms of media?

I don't like making assumptions, and please correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems that the real issue here—indeed, the underlying essence of this ask and the previous one—is not that I drew Danny as trans exactly one time, but that I drew him having sex (enthusiastic, consensual, and clearly pleasurable sex) as a trans man.

I will not apologize for that.

Closing thoughts: One person's representation is another person's dysphoria. I get it. If you don't like trans Danny content, anon, don't go looking for it. Block the #trans danny tag. Don't go around asking people what they think about the trans Danny headcanon. You've already established that you don't like it, so why should it matter what someone else thinks? Are you looking for approval? Someone with a similar view? Why risk getting angry, or bashed again, or possibly triggering yourself? It's better to just avoid bringing it up. Focus on the things you do enjoy.

This fandom is big enough for all of us and our many different headcanons. Trans Danny, cis Danny, intersex Danny, eldritch monster Danny with questionable anatomy, there's plenty of room for them all. I don't have to agree with every single person's opinion, but I can certainly respect that opinion and quietly, gracefully step away from conversations and content that doesn't pertain to my interests.

This is fandom. We're all here voluntarily.

[fairyminnie444]

hi bookie first off happy holidays to u second off so i was manifesting all A's for fall semester and i was persisting and consistent and i didn't waver no matter what and i was even having dreams about it like i was confident, my affirmation was "no matter how and what, i have all A's" but alas i did in fact not get all A's. i'm not bummed cus ik the 3D be lagging n shi but i just wanna know what u would do in this situation/any advice or tips u can give me. I know it's up to me at the end of the day cus it's my reality but im just curious

and also i'm curious why do u think the 3D showed like ... not all A's , if that's sum u can tell me:) thank u so much bookie boo

Hi baby! Happy holidays to you too! Here’s some advice and insights for your situation:

Why the 3D Showed Not All A’s

1. Lag Time: Sometimes the 3D hasn’t fully caught up to your assumptions yet. This doesn’t mean your manifestation failed—it’s just in transition.

2. Underlying Assumptions: Even if you were confident, there could have been subtle, unnoticed doubts or fears, such as “What if I don’t get all A’s?” lingering beneath the surface.

3. Over-focusing on Results: While your affirmation was strong, sometimes focusing too much on the outcome creates resistance. Letting go allows the 3D to reflect your assumption faster.

What I’d Do Now

1. Reaffirm Your Reality

• Don’t accept what you see now as final. Continue affirming: “I always get all A’s, and it’s already done.” Assume that this situation is simply a step toward your full manifestation.

2. Revise the Situation

• Use revision. Imagine receiving your grades and seeing all A’s instead. Replay this scene until it feels natural and real.

3. Stay Detached

• Trust that it’s already done. Avoid obsessing over the timeline or how it will unfold. Focus on the feeling of success and keep moving forward.

4. Persist in Your New Story

• Even if the current grades are showing something different, hold your belief: “I’m the kind of person who always gets all A’s, no matter what.”

Final Tips

• Don’t Analyze the “How”: The 3D is malleable, and the “how” doesn’t matter. Trust your assumption over the external world.

• Celebrate Progress: Recognize that your confidence and persistence are already signs that you’re mastering this skill.

• Keep It Light: Treat manifesting as fun and inevitable. It’s done, so there’s no need to stress.

Your power hasn’t diminished—this is just an opportunity to fine-tune your practice. Keep going!

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: How To Handle Rude People & Insulting Comments With Class

Table of Contents:

Stop taking things personally

Seek clarity, not competition

(Calmly) Share your truth when necessary

De-escalate, disengage, and/or redirect the interaction

How To Handle Insults & Rude People With Class:

Stop taking things personally. Other people's hostility is a coping mechanism for their lack of inner work and healing.

Seek clarity, not competition. Most of the time, people's insults are intentional. They usually want to get an emotional reaction out of you. They want to feed their ego and underlying needs for validation rather than seek to add value or facilitate connection through their words and conversations. Rather than get defensive, call out the behavior by asking the perpetrator of the negative comment to explain the implication of their statement. Play a little dumb and ask "What did you mean by that?" Allow those with bad intentions to tell on themselves. Most people with some degree of self-awareness will either try to gloss over and move on from their comment after seeing that you're too secure with yourself to entertain these low-value comments. Individuals who use this desire for clarity as an opportunity to overexplain their rude commentary almost always tell on themselves – their motives, insecurities, and deep need for self-acceptance and social validation.

(Calmly) Share your truth when necessary. If someone is trying to spread lies about you, discredit your reputation, or defame your character, state the facts about the situation without bringing emotions into the discussion or conflict. Remember: Remaining unbothered does not equate to being a doormat. Stand up for yourself –speak using a neutral tone and only state facts about yourself, your actions, conversations, or any logistics related to the given situation. Do not make accusations or assumptions about the person or the rude commentary they've made. Present their words and actions in a clinical, matter-of-fact manner to show the faulty of their logic rather than firing back with an equally-detrimental attempt to defame their character or give them the social spotlight and attention they're looking for in the moment.

De-escalate, disengage, and/or redirect the interaction. Don't allow their rude behavior to affect your external presence. Try your absolute best to not appear frustrated, raise your voice, or throw back any negative comments. Agree to disagree. Express the pettiness of this conflict. Either walk away or move on to another topic of conversation. Remind yourself that you're dealing with a wounded person. Feeding into their rude commentary is only deepening the cracks and encouraging these negative patterns of behavior.

Validate your emotions. Seek emotional support if necessary. Dealing with combative people can be draining, so remember that it is okay to feel hurt, depleted, sad, or any other negative emotions after the interaction. Schedule a therapy appointment or confide in a trusted member of your support system if you need to talk these matters out to release some of the emotional stress or tension.