#kyman fanfic

[drownedinlavender]

Just wanted to get it out there in case anyone was curious but I do not think Eric Cartman needs to be fixed in order to be shipped with anyone.

South Park is crazy. I'm not the type of fan to try to shoe horn real life morals into the content I consum. South Park is satire; it's messy, chaotic, and vulgar. I love all that all the characters are flawed and unpredictable and don't think any of them have to be "fixed."

Legitimately, my fic "Be Nice to Me" is NOT because I think Eric needs to be "fixed." It's just an obsession I developed after re-watching Tsst and the whole real estate debacle in succession back about 2 years ago. It's a "what-if" AU.

It's also self-indulgent teen angst and melodrama. Love teen angst and melodrama. I grew up watching South Park since I was in middle school and I wanted to write how I think some of the characters would handle the changes that come from growing older. The fear of change, the coming to terms with oneselves and our past actions.

So no, I don't like when people need to water down the characters in order to like them. Ultimately, it is just a show. They're not real people. None of it is real. They're all war criminals cardboard cut outs and I love them very much lol

[ashela-ley]

Jealous Kyle, my beloved... A short Kyman fic.

Who exactly is that guy Cartman's always on the phone with? Kyle has answers. Unfortunately this is how Stan and Kenny must learn that their friend is completely insane.

“...so now I’m not allowed at the ‘Kesha’s Career’-memorial site anymore.” Cartman finishes telling them about his Sunday afternoon. “But why was the queen of Denmark there?” Stan asks with mild interest and a mouth full of peas. “Because-” Cartman begins but is interrupted by the ringing of his phone. “Oh, that must be Lawrence!” Excitedly, he jumps up from his seat and quickly heads towards the hallway to take the call away from the noise of the cafeteria, leaving his three friends behind. Kyle briefly looks up from his English homework to watch him exit the room and rolls his eyes. “What do they have to talk about that’s so private?” Stan slightly frowns at him in confusion. “Well, you were the one who told him you’d break his phone if he didn’t stop talking on it at the lunch table.” “Yeah but”, Kyle waves him off with a dismissive noise, “you know.” Stan does not, in fact, know and neither does Kenny for that matter. However, neither are in the mood to spend another lunch period listening to one of Kyle’s tirades and so they decide not to ask for clarification. “Mhhmm mmh mm.” Kenny instead remarks. “Yeah, they talk like everyday now.” Stan agrees as he picks at his food, visibly uninvested in the topic but going along with it for the sake of small-talk. “Who even is that Lawrence-kid?” “They met in some online game.” Kyle explains somewhat absent-mindedly yet audibly annoyed, his eyes once again fixed on his homework. “His name is Lawrence Friedmann. He isn’t from South Park, though – he lives in a place called Crofton but goes to school in Norfolk because he’s part of some kind of gifted program there and he’s apparently kind of a big deal on their volleyball team.” Stan doesn’t say anything and Kyle notices that his dishes have stopped clinking. When he looks up his friend is raising an eyebrow at him in a confused expression. “What?” Kyle asks defensively. “How do you know all that?” Stan questions him perplexed. With a huff Kyle picks up his milk carton, shakes it around briefly and places it back down without drinking. “I had to make sure Cartman wasn’t, like, trying to make him eat his parents or something!” “So, what?” Stan attempts to piece the information together. “You stalked the guy’s social media to warn him?” Kyle frowns slightly. “He's really into conspiracy theories so he actually doesn’t really have any social media. Only a twitter account where all he does is retweet posts about the ‘Cornhuskers’.” Stan also frowns, visibly thinking. “Then how the hell do you know all that?” Biting his lips, Kyle concentrates on a particularly interesting sentence in his essay on the underlying themes of Hegelian determinism in ‘Young Sheldon’. “Kyle?” Stan insistently presses but he attempts to ignore his friend for a moment longer, deeply regretting having spoken up about this at all. “Kyle??” “He has no photos of himself online – no information whatsoever!” he eventually defends himself. “I even only found out his address by pulling an envelope from Cartman’s trash.” Stan stares at him in disbelief, visibly awaiting an explanation differing from the assumption that is forming in his head. When he’s certain that Kyle isn’t going to provide one, his eyes widen and he shouts: “You actually went to fucking Nebraska?!” Kyle urgently shushes him, quickly looking around to make sure that nobody is listening in on their conversation. He does not need Cartman to know that!

It’s a good thing that their table is routinely so loud during lunch that the other pupils don’t pay them any mind. Still, Kyle is thankful that Stan manages to calm himself down enough to lower his voice as he continues: “Isn’t Norfolk like ten hours from here? When did you even do that?” “Nine.” Kyle corrects him. “I went over the weekend when my parents had to take Ike to Ottawa for Canadian molting day. I took the Greyhound directly after school on Friday, stayed at the ‘Motel 6’ and was back by Sunday afternoon. It’s not a big deal!” He says the last sentence with much emphasis, as if it should suffice to end the conversation. Stan and Kenny make eye contact and a silent agreement that it actually is kind of a big deal. “So let me get this straight…” Stan turns his full attention back to Kyle and folds his hands on the table. “You rummaged through Cartman’s trash, drove a combined nineteen hours with the bus and spent a weekend alone in some shady motel just to tell some kid he likes to talk on the phone with that he’s a dick?” “I had to make sure that guy’s not actually a pedophile or a serial killer or something!” Kyle cries out, his voice the same volume he had admonished Stan for just a moment ago. “Wait, I thought you said you were worried about Cartman doing something to him, not the other way around.” Stan questions him.

Kyle looks at him silently, still frowning, and blinks a couple of times. “The point is-” he begins, scoffing as his eyes dart around the room. “If Cartman’s talking to strangers from the internet it’s our duty as his friends to care about his safety!” “I don’t.” Stan retorts bluntly. “Mmm hmm.” Kenny agrees. Kyle growls in frustration as he feels his face begin to heat up. “Yeah, well, it’s not my fault you two have no concept of common human decency!” he chides. “Dude, it’s Cartman. I’m sure even if the kid did turn out to be some kind of serial killer he’d be able to take care of it himself.” Stan takes a bite of his food and chews slowly before continuing with a full mouth: “Also, what are the odd that they’re both psychos?” Kyle grits his teeth. “Look, can we just drop it?!” “Mmmh mmmmhp mmph?” Kenny ignores his plea. “I didn’t… necessarily speak to him directly.” Kyle mumbles, avoiding his gaze. “You went all that way and then you didn’t even talk to the guy?” Stan asks baffled. “Then what did you do? Just watch him from the bushes all weekend?” Kyle doesn’t answer. “Kyle, what the fuck?!” Stan gestures his hands wildly. “I thought he might take it the wrong way if he knew some kid came all the way from Colorado just to tell him something!” Kyle attempts to justify himself. “You think?” Stan says dryly but his sarcasm gets ignored. “I left a letter in his mailbox instead.” “Mmmh mm?” Kenny asks curiously. Kyle awkwardly rubs a hand against his face, mumbling into his palm as he answers: “Mmmmmhm mphm mmmm…” “Mmh? Mph mm hhmm!” Kenny complains. “Yeah man, speak up.” Stan agrees. “We can’t understand you.” “It said...” he discloses through clenched teeth, “…‘Stay away from Eric Cartman if you know what’s good for you!’” “Mmmhmm.” Kenny states matter-of-factly with a slight shake of his head. Stan squints his eyes and presses his lips together tightly before speaking: “Kyle, I think-” “Shhh!” he shushes his best friend sharply as he spots Cartman making his way back to their table, then glares at both both boys across from him as he seriously urges them: “Don’t. Say. Anything.” They have no time to reply as Cartman is already plopping his ass back down onto the bench, causing the trays on the attached table to rattle. “Oh my God, you guys!” he exclaims enthusiastically, “Lawrence just told me the funniest-” “Nobody gives a shit about Lawrence!” Kyle interrupts him with unwarranted volume. Stan and Kenny exchange a wordless glance.

[all-fic-one]

Finally getting to some actual Kyman interaction here, as we set the stage for the Hunger Games tributes to be presented to the Capitol as products for consumption.

Rated E | TW: Graphic Violence (heed the content warnings) | 6/27 chapters | updating weekly on Saturdays

[komipacket]

Finally!!!

Im gonna post my comic for a fanfiction called "Distraction" by Basu (grossalien on AO3)

I was drawing it from the summer of 2022 and a few months ago i realized that i dont have time or energy to finish it, i still feel kinda lame bc of it, but i want to continue with other projects so ig I'll just post it unfinished!

Hope you enjoy it! Don't forget to read the fanfiction if you haven't!

Welp... Thats it! Thank you for reading it! Credits to Basu bc I LOVE THIS FANFICTION SM!!! Sorry that i post it so late, i was hoping i would finish it before this but oh well i cant make you wait more!

(Anyways i started working on my own comic about a few weeks ago and i hope it'll look even BETTER! Thinking of adding color but that would be LONG.....)

[cartmanslawyer]

you think you know toxic kyman? y’all don’t know toxic kyman until you’ve read memento by scary lolita

[style-and-kyman]

❤️💚Day 6 - Words of Affirmation💚❤️

@kymanweek

Scene taken from my fic "The Mystery Man"

[fagtasticstuff]

Kyman Fic recommendations cause I'm a HUGE nerd: 

@undeserved-halo

Ok *clears throat and rolls out absurdly long list like i'm an announcer in medieval times or something* 

          Heavy Hitters:

Fake it Till You Make it-Mewtwos 

An Education (This ones my favorite) -hollycomb

If I Were Honest with You- creamdream98 (What a name)

The Chubby Tree House Club- libbywensday 

The Sun Always Rise- Libbywensday

Carrot and Tomato Soup- Orphan Acc

Devil town (Is Colder in the Summertime)- Shortstackedcheesecake96 

Put Out the Fire on Us- I_Already_Forgot

        Short an Fun Shit: 

I'm a Good Person- Rainbow Convection 

Kyle's Birthday Story- Vampiracy 

Playing House- Creatortan 

How NOT to "come out" to Your Mother- BookishTea 

Seriously- Orphan Acc

Honesty From a Liar- Grossalien 

My Heart On Mute- Shortstackedcheesecake96 

Bella Notte- Orphan Acc

[duztdevl]

you're a killer and i'm your best friend

[anthareblog]

I’M PEEING MY PANTS WHY IS THE AI A KYMAN ANTI???😭😭😭

[kiuuuus]

I wish i could go back to read creek fanfics like I used to, but the way most creek fics characterize eric as the homophobic/transphobe irredeemable villain of the story is kinda unpleasant to read likejdisjfjxk

[drownedinlavender]

Chaos Victor, my beloved, I had this particular scene for this fic written since FOREVER AGO!! It was one of the first pieces I wrote, I am SO glad I finally got to it in my story 😭😭

Excerpt from Chapter 12 of Be Nice to Me featuring Butters being Victor Chaos:

“Hey, guys,” Cartman reaches over to sit in between Kenny and Leopold when suddenly, both Clyde and Craig block him.

“Woah, dude, hold up,” Clyde warns.

“Yeah, man, trust me, you do not want to do that,” Craig slowly shakes his head no.

“Here, man, sit here,” Clyde scooches over, making some room between himself and Leopold.

“Uuuh,” he skeptically looks around, confused, but ultimately concedes, “yeah, sure.” He takes a seat and asks, “Soooo… what the fuck was that?”

Kyle sits across from him.

“It’s a long story,” Craig dismisses, getting back to his lunch.

“I guess we should catch him up to speed on it, huh?” Leopold suggests.

“On what?” Cartman arches an eyebrow.

"Well, for one thing, Leo," Kyle pointedly sends a glare at the seemingly innocent blonde's direction, Leo shrinks a bit at the stare. He nervously laughs while Kyle continues, "got really into crypto. So into it, in fact, that he ended up making his own coin. The buttcoin."

Kenny giggles at the name. It gets him everytime.

"E-everyone in town kept i-investing in it. It became quite the b-bi-b-bi-big ordeal," Jimmy adds.

"Our idiot parents even got seriously crippling loans to buy into it," Stan scoffs, recalling the stupidity of his father and the disappointment of his mother.

"Mine put out a loan on our car and house." Clyde dejectedly frowns.

"Mine their mansion," Tolkien sighs.

"All of them did, th-they're all m-mm-m-morons," Jimmy quips.

"We were all gonna end up homeless thanks to Leo," Craig blankly points.

Cartman’s eyes widen. “Holy shit, really?” He’s honestly impressed. He didn’t know Butters had it in him.

"Aw, I said I was real sorry, fellas." He meekly looks down at his knuckles, tapping them together.

"Kenny even threatened to tell his parents he was Victor Chaos, the guy that made Buttcoin, but his parents were happy to find out their kid was a billionaire and didn't ground him for it," Stan adds.

"We had to hire Bitcoin scammers from Russia to hack into Leo's account and return everyone's money," Kyle summarizes.

"Yeah and he got hella grounded after that," Clyde laughs while pointing at Leopold.

"Yeah," Leo looks down, "my parents were awful sore with me."

"Pfft, no way dude, that's so weak," Cartman taunts, but then wonders, “okay, but how does that have anything to do with what just happened?”

"So before that Kenny had this whole big fight with him, right?” Clyde keeps going.

Kenny avoids eye contact, still embarrassed about what happened.

“He threatened that he wouldn't be his friend anymore if he kept selling Buttcoin, and the Asian girls saw it and drew a bunch of dramatic yaoi art about it.”

"Yeah, my parents were real upset about me being gay when they found out," Leo pouts.

"My dad wasn't too happy about it either …" Kenny mutters, his eyes seemingly pensive.

"Yeah but then everyone started giving him money and he became pretty pushy about it," Stan reminds him. Kenny looks down at his food, seemingly deep in thought.

"Leo's dad sent him away to some anti-gay all boy boarding school again and Kenny felt kinda guilty so we decided to help break him out. Apparently, the boarding place was experimenting on kids, trying to make them all super powered gays to use in the army or something. We let one out and they blew the place up," Kyle nonchalantly explains.

"Yeah, kind of a dick move to not wait until we were fully out. I mean, we did save him after all," Stan fusses, still miffed about it.

"How did we survive the blast again?" Leopold tries to remember but for the life of him can’t.

"I shielded you guys…" Kenny answers under his breath, barely audible, his chin resting on the palm of his hand.

"What was that, Ken?" Leo asks.

“Actually, Kenny, where did you go after the explosion? I can't remember,” Kyle curiously asks.

Kenny takes a deep breath in before letting it out, centering himself. "I was just knocked out for a bit," he lies.

“You were?” Stan questions, still unable to properly remember.

“I'm here now so it doesn't matter, continue on with what happened,” he motions with his hand to continue, seemingly not in the best of moods.

“Huh, well,” Stan notices but decides it’s best to drop it and keep telling the story, “Leopold’s dad was just happy to see his son alive and decided to accept him no matter how gay he was.”

"Which I'm not! The stupid Asian girls made me," Butters protests with a huff.

"Now you know how we felt," Craig says.

"Yeah, but you guys are, like, actually a thing now so…" Stan gestures at the two.

"Yeah, you can't complain, I mean, look at you," Tolkien points at Craig who has his arm around Tweek while Tweek's resting his head on top of his shoulder.

"W-well, that may be true, but we can still complain about how it happened!" Tweek tugs on his crew neck.

"But Kenny loves tits… and pussy! Like, to an unhealthy extent," Cartman stares at the two blonds, dumbfounded at the turns of events that took place in his absence.

Kenny shrugs, simply continuing to eat his lunch.

“.... My dad did tell me that everyone’s at least a little bit gay once,” Stan states, glancing a bit at Tolkien while speaking.

“Yeah but your dad’s dumb as fuck, dude,” Kyle casually remarks.

“Hey, he can be right sometimes! … On occasion,” Stan looks down at his lunch tray, not fully believing what he’s saying himself.

“Yeah, I think my dad said that once, too,” Tolkien tries to casually agree, also averting eye contact.

Stan lightly blushes.

“No, you guys are just f-f-fa-fa-fags,” Jimmy smiles.

_______

I really used the whole ass roster for this one lmaoo 💀💀 I love writing when all the main kids are together

[lunaissabella]

Working on my first bingo card, in the Ao3 favorite tags bingo 2024 organized by @ao3tagbingo

First tag completed: Love Confessions

Flowers

Spanish version below

AO3

FF

Wattpad

[all-fic-one]

The Broflovski family, for refusing to watch the 47th Hunger Games of Panem, was exiled to District 12, home of the 47th Games' highly controversial and unpopular victor, Eric Cartman. Now, a year later, the Reaping for the 48th Games has named Kyle Broflovski as District 12's male tribute. Can Kyle embody everything he hates about the Capitol, its violence and decadence, to save himself and live to rebel another day?

Rated E | TW: Graphic Violence (heed the content warnings) | 1/27 chapters | updating weekly on Saturdays

A friend of mine convinced me to set up a Tumblr to share my fic and my ships, and while I have some trepidations about this, why not?

Check out "Abraham's Son", my Kyman Hunger Games AU fic - I deleted it a few months ago to really give it an overhaul, and it is now being published with proofreading (!) and on an actual weekly schedule (!!).

Hope you enjoy "Abraham's Son" - it's been a journey to get here ❤️

[actualvinniedakota]

Twitter is being stupid and scraping people's art for AI usage so I'm dropping my zombie AU designs here !!

Bonus Kyman just bc

[qquwee]

ну у фанфик кайман хз не играл

- соси мои яйца, жиртрест.

- ну, кахл, я согласен. - с ухмылкой съязвил тот.

- что.

***

обычный день, обычная ночевка у картмана и новый спор еврея с нацистом. четверка решила сыграть в настолку. но как это бывает, стэн с кенни вырубились почти сразу и несчастный дуэт остался наедине. поначалу они просто молчаливо смотрели по сторонам, но слово за слово и вот мальчики уже в буйной дискуссии о рыжих, евреях и выходцев из Нью-Джерси. как всегда картман пускал все черты кайла в ход, а последний в свою очередь угрожал и колотил шатена.

- хочешь анекдот?

- отъебись уже, это твое третье предложение за весь наш разговор, заебали меня твои анекдоты про мой народ, заткнись.

- ой боже, скучный ты, еврейчик. ему слово, а он тебе лекцию. - кокетливо ответил тот. - ну мне похуй, так что слушай. - он сделал предвкушающую паузу, - знаешь почему евреи не выкладывают фотографии в интернет? их отпугивает кно��ка "поделиться" - и после этой гениальнешей шутки, эрика разнесло от смеха.

- заткнись уже! отвали со своими тупыми одноразовыми недо-шутками!

- бедный еврей, критические дни начались или что?

- заебал, соси мои яйца, жиртрест.

- ну, кахл, я согласен. - с ухмылкой съязвил тот.

- что.

кайл был не то что в шоке, он ахуел.

- ты еблан? я не в серьез.

- а я в серьез.

также противно улыбаясь картман начал приближаться к брофловски. тот опираясь на руки быстро отползал назад, пока не дополз до края кровати, в свою очередь эрик был совсем близко.

- ну же, кахл, снимай штаны.

- блять, сука. инвалид ебаный ты что делаешь?! - кричал бедный еврей.

но шатен уже был в потоке мыслий и действий, он крепкой хваткой раздвинул ноги рыжего и приступил к ширинке.

порыв.

секунда.

удар.

эрик лежал на полу от, пожалуй, одного из самых сильных ударов от кайла.

- черт. походу отключился.

пробормотав себе нод нос он начал затаскивать эту тушу на кровать.

- и вообще, с какого перепугу я забочусь о нем.

ворчал тот, уже закончив загружать картмана в постель. он кинул взгляд на спящих стэна с кенни и богословил господа, что они не узрели это всё. парень пошел в ванную комнату за полотенцем. и по дороге думал, что это все было. зачем картман так начал вести себя? внимания не хватало? никто никогда не понимал этого жиртреста. Брофловски быстро сбегал до комнаты и вспешке схватил первое попавшуюся тряпку. он оперативно намолчил ее холодной водой и также быстро рванул обратно в спальню. кайл "заботливо" сложил полотенце несколько раз, медленно и аккуратно положил его на лоб картмана.

- пусть это и странно, за то эрик будет в порядке. - стоп. что он только что сказал? "эрик?" он повторил по буквам. "э-р-и-к." точно. как-то это слово само вырвалось. черт. он никогда не называл его так. это было в новинку для него. он второй раз сказал: "эрик". и стал повторять. повторять. и повторять. ему стало интересно, если назвать так картмана в лицо? какая будет реакция? тот задумался. "ай ладно, нечего мне еще делать, как о этом ублюдке думать." усмехнулся он.

***

кайл лежал с книгой в руках, которую нашел валяющейся на полу. в этот же момент шатен пришел в себя и осмотрел все вокруг. притензии, что пришли ему в голову: "во-первых, почему у меня на голове мокрая тряпка, во-вторых почему я лежу рядом, где сидит этот грязный еврей, в-третьих, почему у меня так болит голова."

- проснулся наконец. - заговорил первый рыжий.

- что, блять тут случилось?

- а ты типо не помнишь? давай, пошевели своими тремя извилинами и вспомни.

парень напрягся и начал вспоминать. точно, он же хотел "отсосать" кайлу. очень мило, эта рыжая сучка так разозлилась, что аж ударила меня. он повернулся в сторону читающего, в этот же момент со лба упало полотенце.

- ааа, так наша сучка не выдержала и врезала мне. - точно как и в мыслях выдал шатен. - и кстати, какого хуя это штука на мне? - он поднял тряпку и кивнул головой в ту сторону.

- не обращай внимания. без нее бы тебе сейчас еще хуже было бы. - немного раздраженно ответил еврей.

- оо, каял, ты заботишься обо мне, так милооо - нарочно и противно протягивал слова. - влюбился, да?

- конечно. - с улыбкой и сарказмом отшутился тот.

картманское сердце дрогнуло. это обычная шутка. но почему было одновременно тепло и холодно? "что?" переспросил он, на что не получил ответа. такие бурные чувства у него впервые, что это? а кайл тоже это чувствует? или это я..

эрик пристально смотрел на рыжего.

- что опять не так?

- волосы твои..крас-кхм, уродские. - как это вырвалось из его рта? как это вообще? он не контролировал свою речь..и действия, и мысли.

- отвали и лежи молча-..

кайла прервал поце..что? что? что еще раз?

самые разные и смешаные чувства. впервый раз. буйный, шумный стремительный момент. сердце так и выпрыгивает из груди. оно колотится и колотится. сейчас будет взрыв. или уже? голова, лицо, мозг просто плавятся. щеки ужасно красные. уши тоже. руки дрожат, ногиитоже, да что там, все тело будто парализовало! зрачки вначале бегают и не знают где найти себе место, но потом зацикливаются на одной вещи - на других коричнево-голубых сверкающих глаз, которые были параллельно расположенны также сверкающе изумрудных. но в какой-то момент всё напряжение спадает, все вопрос��, недопонимания испаряются навсегда. резко ощущается тепло, комфорт, душевность и искренность. все краски перемешиваются между собой, получается ярко-красный цвет. цвет, который сейчас описывает всё, что происходит. руки больше не дрожат, они находят себе место на широкой спине красной куртки. а чужие ладони начинают рыться в красных, кучерявых волосах нащупывая и раскручевая пряди. красный. красное лицо. волосы. куртка. чуства. все эти слова можно связать в одно - поцелуй. и поцелуй не от какой нибудь тупой и смазливой девки. от картмана. самого эрика картмана. это и во снах не снилось брофловски. они оба поняли. они оба влюблены. вот почему им так сложно по отдельности. вот почему они каждый день вместе. вот почему они до сих пор общаются не смотря на разность характера, мнений, взглядов на жизнь. но их теперь связывает взаимное чуство - любовь. и это прекрасно.

жаль, пришлось разорвать этот букет эмоций из-за чертовой нехватки воздуха. "вот бы это длилось вечно." - подумали оба. они продолжали пялиться друг на друга, пока не поняли весь жар ситуации. в этот момент осознания каждый резко отвернулся в свою сторону. зачесался затылок, голова.

- ты это..ну...забей короче. этого не было. - песню начал картман.

-ничего. мне..понравилось. - кайл понял, что ляпнул и хотел тот час же провалиться под землю.

эрик слегка покраснел, да и второй тоже. но первый из-за честности и признания друга, а другой из-за стыда.

- мне тоже.

рыжему сразу стало не так стыдно за свои слова. он посмотрел шатену в глаза и не отводил взгляда. через минуту зрительного контакта оба залились смехом и попадали на пол.

после такого веселья, они легли на спину и спокойно посмотрели в потолок, а потом на красные, уже из-за смеха, лица. застыли. и снова слились красным поцелуем мягких губ.