#it's probably just the illness that's making me extra irritable but like.

[cryolyst]

~

[nomaishuttle]

exciting day so far

[eliza-and-her-monsters]

the tortured poets department

a story told in multiple parts

vi x reader

Info Post

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Contains: college au, dark/light academia, writer reader, singer reader, neurodivergent/autistic reader (i’m autistic so i’m writing from my own experiences), sporty vi, hockey player vi, big sister caitlyn, best friend ellie williams, roommate ellie williams, will contain other familiar characters you know and love as well as some potential ocs. no use of y/n, reader does have a name because it’s just easier for me to write that way 🖤 ALSO- Jayce is aged down because I want him to be 😌

WC: 4.5k

TW: talk of severe mental illness and brief mention of psychiatric facilities

A/N: chapter one is officially live! if you’re just stumbling across this and haven’t checked the main info post yet please do for more info! hope you enjoy! 🖤

part I

you’re on your own, kid

Whenever most people got acceptance letters to Oxford they were ecstatic, elated, overjoyed. Somehow whenever I got mine all I felt was a sense that I had failed. It was a juxtaposition of course, it was always expected from my family that I attend the same university they had and every other generation before them had. So in a way I had done the opposite, just maybe not in the right order, and a hefty amount of rejection letters in my midst. Including the one currently being held in my shaky hand right now.

Ms. Kiramman,

Thank you for submitting your manuscript to our publication house. Unfortunately right now we are unable to offer you an opportunity for further publication.

“Please, they wouldn’t know good literature if it hit them in the face.” Caitlyn scoffed from her spot next to me as the student shuttle jostled us in our row of seats.

“Is every other publication house that denied me unable to recognize good literature as well?” I whispered from where my cheek stayed pressed to her shoulder.

I know what a lot of you were probably thinking at first glance, but Caitlyn was a good big sister. She was harsh, severely left brained, exactly everything our parents wanted in a child, and quite possibly the polar opposite of me. But in all honesty she was my best friend. My biggest supporter whenever my parents weren’t. It was her who had harassed all of those literary agents to even get me the chance to submit my works to publication houses in the first place because I was too scared to do it. And it was I who failed every single time.

“Yeah actually, they are. Honestly Mills, there’s so much trash in modern day poetry right now you might be better off.” She sighed, reaching a hand over to click my phone off slowly as the shuttle rumbled to a stop. “This is you!” She tried to plaster on a fake cheery voice with a pat on my back as if to get me to finally lift my head where my cheek was already an irritated red for being hid in her sweater.

“I still don’t get why you couldn’t just let Ellie and I take the extra room in that big student house you just moved into.” I huffed, lifting a hand to readjust my glasses before rising up to my feet and reaching for one of the suitcases carelessly tossed on one of the adjacent rows of seats.

“Because lovey, you need to make some of your own friends. This is uni, Millie, we’re both in completely different colleges and I just- I don’t want you to get too lonely.” She frowned, glancing back at me as she rolled the other suitcase behind her. “You guys don’t wanna room with a bunch of upperclassmen anyways.”

“I do have my own friends, I have Ellie.”

“As much as she is a great roommate, friends besides Ellie, it’s good to have more than just two whole people on campus to talk to.” Caitlyn pressed on just before striding towards the entrance, leaving me feeling like I needed to speed walk just to keep up given the fact she was nearly a foot taller as well.

The student apartments were definitely nicer than the usual underclassman dorms. In all honesty I really should’ve been grateful, it was just another luxury of being a Kiramman. Whenever your parents paid for half of the buildings on campus you usually got better accommodations. Not that either of them originally liked the idea of me even rooming with Ellie. A loudmouthed foreign exchange student from America I met during another one of those incredibly expensive wellness retreats my parents sent me on to see if they could find a ‘cure’ for what was actually just a heavy amount of autism and severe ADHD.

The only person who really seemed to understand that there wasn’t one and it was just simply who I was was Caitlyn. To a degree as much as she could at least. Sometimes though I could tell she forgot.

“I think Ellie said she beat us a while ago.” She chimed in as we approached the door decorated with a slightly chipped gold number.

“She got here early because of hockey stuff.” I answered, already bouncing on the balls of my feet to see how she had managed to make the flat into a sea of chaos already. She wasn’t exactly the cleanest person, luckily her energy seemed to mesh with mine easily enough though.

“Oh! You never mentioned she made the hockey team! I know a few girls on the team you could probably talk to.” She shot a hopeful smile back at me before lifting a fist to knock on the door.

It swung open before she could even make a second tap to reveal a frazzled looking Ellie haphazardly clutching a hockey stick. “Thank God you’re here! I was trying to practice my swing and- fuck, we are so not getting that deposit back, Millie.”

“Oh dear god.” Caitlyn cursed, already wincing in dread before stepping through the door into the messy flat. “I’m sure our dad can- do something. What did you manage to break and why on earth did you decide practicing your swing indoors was a good idea?”

“For your information I didn’t break anything! There’s just a- tiny dent in the wall.”

I hummed a bit to myself as I stepped over the plethora of unpacked bags currently covering the floor. “It’s definitely more than tiny.” I chimed in as I poked at the noticeable dent in the drywall.

Caitlyn released a long and heavy breath and shook her head, as if to try and keep herself from making her own dent in the wall. “It’s totally fine. I’ll just- say that it was there whenever you guys moved in!” She shrugged with another anxious clear of her throat as she pulled my luggage in behind her. “Which room is free, Els?”

“Oh, I gave her the room in the front. I know she likes it dark and the lighting in there sucks.” Ellie answered as she shuffled off behind us. “There is one window in there that can get pretty killer in the mornings.”

I tensed a bit at the sight of the double window facing towards the bed. Yet another one of the aggravating little quirks that came with my neurodivergency, light sensitivity. As far as I could remember I always preferred the darkest of places. And now Caitlyn was cursing again, rushing towards me to take my hands into her own as if I was already on the verge of panic.

“It’s okay- I can get you a pair of a blackout curtains asap and you know how dreary it is in Oxford anyways-“

“Caity- it’s fine. I’m not going to have a meltdown over a window.” I interrupted her ramble with a shake of my head. Sometimes I felt like she still thought I was that same teenage girl that didn’t have a handle on her emotions. Not that I was far from it exactly. Now I was just an almost 20 year old girl who had a slight hold on her emotions. That’s what the writing was for.

Her eyes still held the same amount of concern though, getting that same little crinkle in between her brows as she nodded. “Okay, I’m still getting you blackout curtains though.”

“They’ll definitely be appreciated.” I said with a forced tiny smile.

“Well, I really wish I could stay and help you unpack but I have a meeting with the Brooks Society and everything but… I really do hope I’ll see you both tonight at the pub for fresher’s week?” She grinned hopefully once more as she squeezed the life out of my hands.

“Oh, I-I don’t know. We’ve barely settled in and-”

“I’m down.” Ellie chimed in from behind me as she trotted back into the door frame. “I’m gonna be relishing in the fact I finally don’t need a fake.”

“Ellie…” I groaned as I shot her a glare over my shoulder.

“What? Mills, it’s the first day of fresher’s week, we might as well be committing a crime by not going out tonight!” She exclaimed with a dramatic throw of her hands in the air.

“It’s true, and as much as I would love to keep you away from my degenerate friends, well, it might be good for you.” Caitlyn agreed with another casual shrug.

“You’re not gonna give me a choice, are you?” I questioned causing her to shoot a knowing look towards Ellie over my shoulder.

“Probably not.” She answered before stealing a look down at the expensive watch wrapped around her wrist. “Well, I’ve gotta go but… you’ll text me if you need anything, right? I don’t want you to feel like you can’t because of what I said earlier because you always can I just-“

“Caity- it’s fine. I’m fine, I promise. I- I’ll see you tonight.” I stammered in hesitation, and I’d definitely be hearing about it later. But luckily right now she seemed willing to just let things go.

“Okay, good… great. Now- get in here, pipsqueak!” She exclaimed, the familiar nickname she had been calling me since she hit her growth spurt and I yet to do so making me roll my eyes as she pulled me into a tight hug. One of those sisterly hugs I always clung onto a bit longer. Ever since I was younger no place had felt safer than Caitlyn. And in so many ways sometimes I looked at her as being more than a mom than our actual mom. I knew I needed to find other safe places though. “I love you, you know that right? I promise. This is going to be a good thing.”

“I love you too, Caity.” I sighed softly as I felt her lips press to the top of my head before the two of us pulled away.

“Els, take care of my baby sister or else I’ll have your head on a stick? Got it?”

“Crystal?” Ellie finally spoke up again with wide eyes as her hand made the ‘okay’ symbol.

“Good.” Caitlyn spoke before trotting back off towards the front door, “I’ll see you both tonight and send you the details.” And with a charming smile she was headed out.

Ellie instantly let out a shiver the moment the door closed. “Has anyone ever told you that your sister’s scary as fuck?”

“Many times.” I answered simply just in time to see Ellie’s face fall ever so slightly.

“So, I’m guessing it was a no from the latest publication house?”

“How could you guess?” I frowned as I slumped against the wall like I was going to resign myself to the floor.

“You had that aire of discouraged defeatism whenever you walked in.” She explained as she sidled up to me. “Cheer up, Mills, modern poetry is so cringeworthy nowadays you might be better off going for songwriting anyways.” She added as she gently rubbed at my clothed arms.

“If I can’t even get a publication house to take me seriously then what makes you think I can actually get a songwriting deal?” I spoke as I finally pushed myself off of the wall.

“One of the most popular songs out right now literally has the lyrics, ‘that’s that me, espresso’ in it.” She rolled her eyes a bit to herself as she finally knelt down to grab the bags she had still yet to unpack.

“No Sabrina Carpenter slander in this apartment, Williams. You know I’m an OG. And I can relate to desperation.” I frowned in embarrassment as I crossed my arms across my chest.

“Yeah yeah yeah, come and help me unpack, will you? Maybe we can find you something to wear tonight.”

“What’s wrong with what I have on?” I exclaimed almost in mild offense as I gestured towards the outfit that definitely had been hastily picked out. But it wasn’t like it wasn’t cute- ish at least.

“Nothing, but care bear sweaters and leggings seems more like a comfy day outfit than a ‘going out to the pub’ outfit.”

“I thought it was going to be a comfy day until you completely blew my cover!”

“Sorry babe, but I agree with your scary as fuck sister on this one. You need to get out more. Experience the pleasures of fresher’s week and you can take that in any way you want!” She shot a wink over her shoulder as she made her way down the skinny hallway to kick open her own door where a brutal floor to ceiling window already angrily cast its light on the room causing me to flinch.

“We could always pretend to be girlfriends again if you want people to leave you alone in a, you know, romantic way.” Ellie added as she rushed across the room to pull the curtains shut and pat the empty space on her bed. Probably the only time it’d actually be made all semester.

“Nah, if we do that too many times people will know we’re lying so best not to even start.” I answered as I took a seat on the side of her bed.

“Well if that’s the case, how does this shirt look with… this flannel? What do you think? Chick magnet?” She grinned before whipping out a red and black checkered flannel from the mostly empty closet and pulling it on over the basic black band tee she already wore with a flourish.

“Maybe if they’re emo?” I said with a little shrug as I scanned the band logo on her t-shirt causing her to groan in defeat.

“Still… somehow… always chronically bitchless.” She voiced before plopping down on the squeaky university issued beds. Though we were at least lucky enough to have double beds, it definitely wouldn’t leave anything to the imagination if either of us decided to do any nsfw activities in them. Somehow I didn’t feel like we’d have that problem though.

“Shush, you’re not chronically bitchless. You have me!” I teased as I gave her shoulder a playful shove where she dramatically flopped onto her back.

“So bitchless then?” She reiterated with a lifted brow as she glanced over at me.

“At least you’ve actually managed to kiss a girl once or twice.” I scowled as I inched over onto my side. Already catching myself pulling closer towards her.

“Just so we’re clear, I did offer.”

“Yeah, only to get your first kiss out of the way.” I scoffed, though I curled up to her either way. Closing my eyes as I placed my head on her chest I hadn’t realized how tired I had felt in the past 24 hours. They had been rough, a sea of anxiety and those exact meltdowns that Caitlyn was afraid of me having and her not being there to talk me down from.

“And? The offer never stopped standing.” She spoke just before I could feel her arms wrapping around me.

“Good to know, Els, I’ll let you know if I ever need to get a pity kiss from my best friend.”

“Oh shut up, it’s not a pity kiss. It’s me doing you a solid.” She remarked, as she nudged my foot with her leg. “You manage to get any sleep last night?” She wondered just before letting her hands trace soothing circles on my back. I only shook my head as I felt the sting behind my eyes before I could even take any steps to stop it. The way you felt whenever you were already on the verge all day and someone finally asks if you’re okay. Curling my fingers into her flannel the annoying tears already soaked into the fabric of her shirt. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

A shake of my head only followed, I didn’t know how to put anything into words really. How to explain to people that just wouldn’t understand no matter how much they meant well and wanted to. How was someone even supposed to explain the fact that you were one of the most celebrated families of the most prestigious university in England yet somehow you still felt like the only person who didn’t belong here sat on top of a mountain of rejection letters? Perhaps you could rather easily. But to actually say the words ‘I’m pretty sure I only got in because I’m a Kiramman’ were a whole different story. It’s why I took all those years off in the first place. I wanted to delay the inevitable of my dad paying off the admissions directors again while staring at me with the level of disappointment he never had to with Caitlyn.

I hadn’t even realized the simple tears had turned into full out sobs until I heard Ellie’s gentle shush from above me and her arms holding me even tighter to her chest as she did so. “You’re gonna be okay, Mills. I promise. We’re gonna be just fine.”

~

I hadn’t even noticed I had dozed off until my eyes cracked open again, noticeably faced away from the window and tucked underneath Ellie’s covers. My glasses sat propped up on her bedside dresser already casting a noticeable blur of the world around me. Meanwhile hushed voices seemed to speak from out in the hallway, walls much too thin to hide the noise.

Fighting back a yawn I shoved myself up onto my elbow to wipe at my dysfunctional eyes before stretching a hand out to pluck my glasses from the nearby table. Though I only jumped as the door was pushed open and Caitlyn’s tall figure popped up into view. “Hey pipsqueak, Ellie told me you weren’t feeling the best after I left.” She said carefully as she grabbed my glasses to hand them over.

“I wished she wouldn’t have.” I grumbled as I slid them onto my face only to hug my knees to my chest and glue my eyes to the bedsheets below.

“Why not? Isn’t that exactly what I told you to do? Mills, I would’ve stayed-”

“But- I-I don’t wanna keep you from your responsibilities anymore, Caity!” I exclaimed with a frustrated groan, already digging at my eyes again while my head only throbbed from the aftermath. “I don’t want you to have to tell this really important college society that you can’t be there for your obligations because your mentally ill sister needs you to rescue her again!”

“You are my responsibility, Amelia!” She snapped, the use of my rarely spoken full name making me wince as she pointed a stern finger at me. “You will always be my number one priority because I’m your big sister and it’s my job to protect you, no matter what. And I don’t care what kind of deep shit I get into with the criminology department, okay? Because you come first, always!”

I tried to gulp back the same pathetic tears, but it turns out after you cry yourself to sleep for the millionth time maybe there really is a limit. “I didn’t miss anything, did I?” I spoke up after a moment of silence, feeling Caitlyn’s arm stretch around my shoulder as she took the spot next to me.

“No, but I did do some thinking and if you really don’t wanna go then I don’t wanna pressure you.” She frowned, almost looking down in mild guilt until I leaned my head against her shoulder.

“No… I do. I wanna go and make friends and new experiences and- t-try to be normal.”

“Lovey, you are normal. It’s the world that isn’t.” Caitlyn frowned as she leaned her head against mine. Thankfully she only hesitated a moment though before she cleared her throat and spoke again, “If you wanna go though we should probably start getting ready. If you want me to help you?”

“Maybe you can help me figure out what to wear? And do my hair in those little braids with the clips? And help me with my eyeliner?”

Caitlyn snickered a bit as I lifted my head from her shoulder. “The eyeliner might be a little tricky but I can certainly try. Are you forgetting the prom incident where I quite literally gave you an eye infection?”

“That was definitely just because of the glitter.” I shrugged before swinging my legs over the side of the bed and finally pushing myself up to my feet.

“The eyeliner pen straight to the cornea certainly didn’t help.” She reiterated.

Despite the various complications of having two not at all femme lesbians help me get ready though, I don’t think I looked too terrible afterwards. I had settled on a simple black dress that fell just above the knee with little bows sat atop the straps. English autumns could either be comfortable or frigid though and the current temperature definitely wasn’t comfortable so Ellie tossed me one of her blue flannels to wear over top. Of course claiming it’d be a calling card for all of the hot lesbians, if they didn’t assume we were together first.

Calling the pub a ‘pub’ in an of itself was definitely generous. Besides the one or two older people having their relaxing evening out ruined by the loudmouthed 18+ filling the joint it felt more like a club than anything. Music blasted from the speakers as we stepped inside, Caitlyn on one side with a protective arm around my shoulders and Ellie on the other who looked more and more like she was never returning to America by the second.

Caitlyn immediately dragged us downstairs where most of the students had taken over. It wasn’t hard to figure out which group of friends were hers. It was the largest one, who had currently swallowed the entire center of the room it seemed filling up leather stools and couches with red decorative pillows. “Oi! Cait! Over here!” A familiar voice echoed from the large group, popping his head over everyone and waving the lot of us over.

“Jayce? I thought he finished his masters last year.” I tried to speak over the noise where Caitlyn wrinkled her nose in response.

“He did, guess the old man just can’t get enough of us.” She answered, giving my arm a comforting squeeze as she pulled me along beside her.

The group was probably the most eccentric lot I had ever seen as we approached the cluttered table. Covered in empty and full beer bottles and other fruity drinks along with half burnt out cigarettes. A spread of tarot cards belonging to a skinny girl with the longest and brightest blue hair I had ever seen was currently being scooped up as well causing my eyes to widen in curiosity. A chorus of Caitlyn’s name followed as usual, the usual life of the party whenever I wasn’t there and she didn’t have to babysit. I had almost managed to successfully tune most of the chaotic noise out though until I heard my name followed by the tightening of Caitlyn’s arm around my shoulders once more.

“Lads, this is my baby sister, Amelia. Treat her well or else I’ll kill you slowly and painfully.” She said with a little grin just as a stool was pulled out from where a pink haired individual sat manspreading on the plush couch.

“Have a seat, cupcake, we don’t bite.” The girl smirked as she sat forward almost curiously. Also an American.

“I especially mean that towards you, Vi.” Caitlyn’s expression morphed into a glare as she watched me cautiously lower myself onto the seat like it was going to give out below me any second. “Oh, and this is Ellie- Ellie Williams. Also a fresher. Ellie, Mills, this is… Jinx, Ekko, Jesse, Dina, you obviously know Jayce, Abby-”

“Bitch.” Ellie mumbled underneath her breath causing my eyes to widen for the thousandth time as she took the open seat next to me. “She totally knocked my lights out during practice today.”

“You have to have at least one light on to have them knocked out, Williams.” The muscular woman stated as she brought a glass of amber liquid up towards her mouth.

“Wow, didn’t realize hockey rivalries on the same team were a thing.” Caitlyn fought back a laugh as she went to take an empty seat of her own.

“Oh you have no idea.” Ellie grumbled a bit to herself as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Williams? She yours?” Vi cleared her throat as she nodded in my direction.

“Who? Amelia? I-I mean I wouldn’t complain but we’re just friends.” She answered immediately causing Vi’s eyebrows to lift.

“So- no intense feelings you guys are harboring or anything?” She questioned again as she stole glances between the two of us.

“Unless there’s something she’s not telling me?” Ellie wondered with a lifted brow as she looked towards me as if in confirmation. And it was then I realized how tightly I was clutching onto her hand below the table.

It wasn’t as if the two of us hadn’t thought about it. It wasn’t as if I had spent a solid number of nights in her bed whenever things got really tough. Ultimately though we had decided what we had as best friends was far too intense or precious to fuck up over a relationship. And also just the sheer fact that dating somebody you met in a psychiatric facility disguised as a ‘wellness retreat’ was probably a bad idea.

“No, just best friends.” I answered in a small voice with a simple shrug.

“Okay, so you won’t mind if I buy her a drink then?”

“Careful Vi.” Caitlyn growled from her spot on the couch across from her.

“Ummm, can you buy me a song on the jukebox instead?” I asked, and to my surprise a series of impressed sentiments filled the table. My eyes only furrowed in confusion however as I peered towards Ellie or Caitlyn for help, “What?”

“Because Millie, that was smooth as fuck.“ Ellie answered almost drawing a little laugh from my end.

“Lucky for you, doll, I can buy you both.” Vi spoke as she held a bruised hand out for me to take.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel any butterflies blooming in my chest at her words. The feeling of my heart kickstarting as I placed my hand in hers and let her lead me towards the bar. Her hand was warm and rough in my own, calloused but not in the way Ellie’s were from the constant plucking on her guitar. They were calloused in a far more aggressive way. I should’ve known I was heading towards my own demise in that moment. Falling down a hole I’d lose myself entirely in. An electric pull on my heartstrings that kept me close to her.

Fuck, I should’ve known it was only the start.

A/N: I AM SOOOOO EXCITED TO GET THIS UP!!!! I wanna know all your thoughts!! Tell me everything!! I’m so so SO beyond excited to write more of this I’m screaming!!

Also- psa I know a ton of characters don’t talk/aren’t really in this one. I promise they will be further on! Just need to get an establishing shot first! 🖤

-> Next Part

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

I'm really sick and Satan's sacrificial waterfall is here AT THE SAME TIME!

I don't know if you do blurbs or headcannons, but if so, would you be willing to write for the boys (either taskforce 141, or singular characters,) taking care of an afab reader who has never had anyone wanting to take care of them?

If not, sorry to bother!

I don't typically take requests but... since I'm in the same boat (sacrificial waterfall is probably going to come over the weekend for me), I'll 100% do it.

A while back I also posted this: "You're feeling ill" and it's also along the same vein, if you'd like an extra little pick me up.

Period woes.

Rating: G Words: 1K~ tags: afab!reader but you/your pronouns, SFW!, fluff, comfort, periods and associated symptoms.

A person’s period might be the most hypocritical moment of their routine. They’re expected to continue moving, working and living their live as normal, all with a smile on their face, while their uterus actively attempts to cut off its own circulation… as if for any other injury or sickness you wouldn’t be expected to lay down and STOP for a moment and allow yourself to heal up, or at least improve enough to not be miserable.

But no. You’re expected to deal with it alone, to not show a reaction, to not be irritable, or groaning and writhing in pain. Take a shower, stock up on painkillers and slap a smile on your face, you’ve gotta go out in the world and act as if you’re not actively dreading every waking moment you spend on your feet.

That’s why you’ve learned to hide it when you’re going through your monthly. Your family, partners… not even your girlfriends know when you’re having it. Ever since you were a young teen, just starting out, it was very much a conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know, sort of moment.

But it’s miserable. You’re always miserable. Everything hurts, the cramps, the headaches, the back pain, hip pain, your sore chest… Plus the blood, the lack of appetite (or increase in appetite), the nausea, the fact you want to cry one moment, or break dishes and scream the next, the way your colleagues annoy you beyond compare, how certain sounds grit your nerves just. enough. to make you feel like you’re losing it… And then you can’t sleep.

And of course… he notices it. How could he not?

Ghost is discreet about it. He doesn’t mention it, doesn’t make a big deal about it… But he’s VERY good at taking care of you without you noticing he’s doing it. His love language is acts of service… So he simply goes around giving you a hand on whatever you might need. Food? Made. Dishes? Done. Laundry? Washed, Dried, Folded and Put Away. He finds you trying to do something? No. Give it here, he’ll do it.

The inevitable day that a leak happens and you find yourself angry at yourself as you strip the bedsheets off the bed, trying to be discreet about it so he doesn’t see it, he silently grabs the sheets off your hands and murmurs a “Go take a shower and change. I’ve got this.” before turning to put the sheets in the washer, clean the mattress and remake the bed so you can lay down again by the time your shower is over. It makes you emotional, sometimes, that such a stoic man will gladly take on every other responsibility to allow you to heal.

Gaz, blessed be him, is an absolute sweetheart… But he’s also a silly boy. He notices and although he’s not going to make a big deal about it, he’s still very… Boyish about it. Uses all the silly names for your period (“The Communists are coming”, “Shark week”,  “Satan’s waterfall”, “Carrie”) and affectionately calls you “My little ketchup packet”. 

He’s all for ordering takeout and getting you whatever you want when and how you want it. He’ll rub your back and be very careful about where and how he touches you. He’s ginger with touches around your waist and lower stomach, looks at you with those big brown eyes of his, as if checking that he’s not hurting you or crossing a boundary. You find yourself getting emotional when he whispers about how strong you are to deal with this every month… Keeps asking gently if you need anything… It makes you feel so safe.

Price’s older. He’s been in many relationships before. He notices your period is coming before it even does… Notices how you’re acting. Jumpier, grumpier, sadder… Notices how you toss and turn the couple of nights leading up to it. And he’s silently prepared. He’s made a supply run to the grocery store to get what brand of period products you use and some painkillers and puts them where you can see them in the bathroom. 

Fills you up with warm herbal tea and food that he knows are easy to digest and help with your state. No fucking chocolate and sugar or potato chips, you’re being pumped full of soups and stews and veggies and cut up fruit. He’ll sit by your side with a paring knife and an apple and slowly peel, core and cut it, before slowly feeding you (and himself) the slices. When you try to resist it, at first, too used to doing things alone, he’ll grab your face with both hands, look into your eyes and tell you. “And why exactly would I let you do that, when you’ve got me here to help you? How does that make sense?”

Soap’s… Well… Soap’s got a bunch of sisters… Each of them dealing with their periods in wildly different ways... So one thing he knows for sure: He’s not about to assume anything. You do what you’ve got to, he’ll adjust to you. He needs to go to the bathroom but you’re in there? Copy that, he’ll go piss in the yard. You’re having a cry in the kitchen because nothing looks good but you’re hungry? Talk it out with him, what do you want to eat? Let’s figure it out together, bonnie. You need to lie down in a dark room because of a migraine or headache or just to catch on sleep you’ve missed? Johnny’s blacked out every window, gathered every stray pillow and blanket in the house and will make you a nest if he’s got to.

And when you wake up in the middle of the night with a whine and a stretch because your back hurts and you’ve got cramps and cannot for the life of you get comfortable, Johnny’s hands are rubbing over you, pressing kisses to your temple and murmuring little “I ken, love… It’ll be over soon… I’m sorry you’re going through this…”

[master-muffinn]

Digimon

When they find a human child. (The kid is 4-5 years gender/neutral reader)

It was forever ago that I watched digimon and the different versions. I had to look up some of the digimons personalities. This is basically taken from different shows, mostly generation 1. The digimons that I like and are easy to place the right text to. 

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Is the big and mature digimon who will help the kid find their home. They know the moment they see you that you don’t belong to this world and made it their mission to help you find a way back. They are used to dealing with younger digimons so a human child is no big deal. They pick you up and ask you a lot of questions about your parents, how you came here, where you are coming from etc. The longer it takes the more worried they get, because digiworld is not a safe place for a little human child. Don’t worry though, they will take care of you until you find your way back home. They will teach you how to survive in this world. What you can eat and not, how you can defend yourself and what to do in different situations. They probably will start calling you their kid at some point and will feel proud and happy that you see them as a parental figure.

^ LEOMON, ANGEMON, ANGEWOMON, Frigimon, Renamon, Gabumon, Lilymon, Piximon, Lilamon, Biyomon, wormmon, Andromon? ^

---

“Ew why are the brat following me?! Go somewhere else!!”. Doesn't like the kid at all and tries to get rid of it. Not by killing it or hurting it of course! They are not that cruel! But by running/flying away or tricking the kid to go somewhere or putting the kid in a box or hanging them up on a nail on a wall. Really, they try many different ways and become satisfied when they ‘think’ they have succeeded until the kid is sticking to their side and they sigh and get irritated. However when they finally succeed in getting rid of you they stay there and wait..and waiting..and waiting a little extra just to make sure you aren’t coming, just for them to miss you and getting worried. “Hey Brat! Where did you go?! Come back!” They end up taking a liking to you instead but they are pretty awkward about it. “Hey! Don’t go there! That’s dangerous!”. Yes, you somehow became their annoying little brat but they do have a soft spot for you, however they are not good at parenting though! 

^ BEELZEMON, Ogremon, ETEMON, Impmon, Ranamon ^

---

Say goodbye to your parents! You are theirs now! All you really did was call them “pretty” or “cool” with excitement in your eyes and they instantly fell for you and adopted you. They take you up in their arms? Paws? Claws? and take you home and fix a room fitting for you. They might spoil you to make sure you want to stay and have you ‘forget’ about your real parents. They will spend a lot of time with their kid, teach them things they know and totally show off while doing it too!

If anyone questions it they get upset, “What do you mean they’re not my kid?! Of course they are! Yeah they’re human, so what?! All babies don't come out of an egg”. Their parent instincts kick in whenever you aren’t around them or they don’t know where you are. “Where’s my baby!!” 😨 

^ LILITHMON, ELECMON ^ 

---

Awkward... They aren’t used to being around kids at all and lacking knowledge about them. Like what are they supposed to do? They don’t have the heart to just leave the kid, what if they die? They go around and ask other digimons if they know anything about humans or where they are coming from, so they can take you home. What do humans even eat? What do they feed them with?? What if the human gets ill?” 

They do find the little human cute and they don’t mind the hugs and affection you are giving them, however- they believe that they aren’t good enough to take care of you so they search for someone else who could do a better job. Of course they have gotten attached to you and will have difficulties saying goodbye when they find the right person and place. Might or might not cry when they hug you farewell, maybe you’ll meet in the future when you are older, maybe you can be together then…

^ BAALMON,  Wizardmon, Orgemon, Andromon, Gazimon?  ^

---

They found you by accident. At first they watch you from afar for a while. Finding you very interesting and adorable. They already know at first glance you are a human from another world and the chances for you to come home is pretty low. 

They approach you slowly so as not to scare you and ask you questions about you and your home. The longer they talk to you the more comfortable they become and they actually enjoy themself. They end up offering you food at their place. And somehow along the way you end up in their care and now they are much more happy and have something precious to protect who needs them.

Knowing you are safe and waiting for them to come home and knowing you will be happy to see them will get them through even the toughest days.

^ DEVIMON, BEELZEMON (xros wars), gatomon ^

---

“Oooh!! A new friend!! Let’s play together!”. These digimon is basically a child themself and doesn't think so much about the difference. Ask you what kind of digimon you are. Actually, they don't really care what you are! A friend is still a friend no matter what! Will ask you a lot of questions. They might get you in trouble but they will of course protect and defend you if something bad happens even if themself aren’t that strong. 

At the end of the day you will fall asleep together under a big tree. You got yourselves a lifelong friend (hopefully) and will take care of one another. <3 

^ GUILMON, CULUMON, MarineAngemon, Lunamon, Patamon ^ 

---

Wow you are very unlucky if you meet these digimon. You probably become their dinner or even worse, they see you as a toy to play with (and not so nicely). Will totally chase you and throw hurtful stuff at you while laughing. And when the fun is over and they get bored, they will probably kill you, unless your screams are heard and the digimon from the first text/part will come and save you!

^ Kuwagamon, Myotismon, Diaboromon, Bakemon, Scumon-(probably won't kill you tho) ^ 

---

Thank you for reading and if you like it, reblogs are very appreciated! <3

Made by @master-muffinn

[bubblez-bubble]

Everyone in Fairy Tail represents a disorder and/or an illness (either physical and/or mental). And Fairy Tail never happened, it's a hospital, and Fairy Tail takes place in one of the patients minds as part of their disorder.

Here me out.

This is going to be a tribute to National Suicide Prevention Month as a reminder everyone has their own battle to face and never assume you know what's going on from the outside looking in. (Also disclaimer: none of this is canon. It's a fan-based headcanon and some representation may be off, but as someone who studies psychology and personal/mental health in their free time in an attempt to better understand myself, I'm going to try to be as accurate as possible and try to give as much detail as I can.) If you or a loved one is struggling for any reason, don't be afraid to reach out and seek answers or help. Your silence is not worth a life. Especially yours. If you're like me and seeking professional medical help is out of your reach for any reason, be it financially or otherwise, contact your local suicide prevention hotline for free accessible 24-hour help. You may be fighting what feels like a losing battle, but you don't have to fight it alone. And just remember, everyone is fighting their own fight. So please don't give up and just hold on tight. And know if you don't have anyone else in your corner, I will be.

Now onto the headcanon.

For now I'll just be doing the main team (post nirvana), but let me know if you'd be interested in seeing what the characters may represent.

Also I'll be doing brief break downs of these characters. If you'd like a full synopsis on a particular character let me know!

Natsu- Binge Eating Disorder and Intermittent Explosive Disorder

First let's look at the definitions.

Binge Eating Disorder or BED is when a person unhealthily over consumes excessively large quantities of food in one sitting or during a single meal.

Intermittent Explosive Disorder or IED is a mental disorder that can cause frequent, sudden, or impulsive episodes of anger. It can be categorized with road rage, domestic abuse, THROWING OR BREAKING OJECTS, TEMPER TANTRUMS, FREQUENT VERBAL ARGUMENTS, FREQUENT PHSYICAL FIGHTING, and PROPERTY DAMAGE.

There are two things Natsu is most known for in universe: picking a fight whenever and where ever and always feeling hungry. In almost every meal we see him have seen him eat, he eats in exaggerated large quantities. And yes you can argue that it's because his magic is so demanding plus his physical upkeep (training) is probably the reason for this. However, none of the other dragon slayers indulge like this, with the exception of Sting and Rogue during their guilds annual eating contest. He's also extremely prone to losing his temper, picking fights, and destroying everything within about a 20 mile radius. Which you could say that this personality trait compliments his magic, but that part actually ties into the headcanon itself. Let me explain. The person who's imagining all of this from the hospital sees Natsu's disorders and decides the perfect way for him to fit into their little imaginary world and by being a fire wizard. Fire perfectly compliments Natsu's anger issues and gives him a reason to eat so excessively in this person's mind so his body can keep up with the extra calories it's constantly burning.

Erza - PTSD

PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a mental disorder that can develop after a person experiences or witnesses a traumatic event and vary based on severity. It can often make its victims irritable, hostile, hypervigilant, self-destructive, and even socially isolated or feeling awkward. It can cause flashbacks, severe anxiety, a feeling of mistrust in others and can even cause feelings of guilt and/or loneliness. It can bring about nightmares and insomnia and can cause emotional detachment and an increase in intrusive thoughts or impulsive actions. Two of the most common causes of PTSD are military trauma and abuse. And perhaps Erza experienced both.

Erza is a strong willed character who often has flashbacks of her time in the tower of heaven. She can often find it hard to trust others for a time, but sympathizes with those who felt the same pain and torment she did in the tower. She usually tries to remain calm but can at times have extreme outbursts of anger and always seems to be weary and hyper aware of her surroundings. It's rare to see her let her guard down which she seems to do very well with the women and not as well with the men (with the exception of Natsu, Gray, and Makrov). This attitude seems to shift after Alvarez as she seems more distant and hostile with new females introduced than she is with the new men introduced afterwards. This could be due to Erza being abandoned and nearly killed by her own mother which was revealed in the Alverez arc.

Gray - OCD

OCD or Obessive Compulsive Disorder is usually defined as a need to be clean all of the time as well as everything around you. Depending on the severity of the disorder it can make you feel as though nothing is ever clean enough from the floor you're standing on to the CLOTHES YOU WEAR.

Gray is often seen without his clothes straight down to his skippies and in some instances even without them. Yes its explained in Gray's flashbacks to childhood that this is because this was how his master, Ur, trained him as a child and that those teachings were drilled so deep into his head that he just strips subconsciously. During a fight or when using magic. But what about normally when he's just relaxing. If it were instilled him that hard, then shouldn't Lyon be the same way? But to our knowledge, he isn't. The only time we've seen him do the same is in battle. The truth is Gray continues to do so because being trained to strip down to the bare minimum for battle gave him a comfortable feeling that he hadn't felt before and for the first time in his life, he started feeling comfortable in his own skin. Now as an adult, even if that's not the case anymore, it still happens subconsciously usually when he starts feeling some levels of stress. It's often common for those with OCD to comply to their urges, subconsciously or not, when they feel some kind of stress. It could be anxiety, excitement, rage, etc.

Wendy - Neotenic Complex Sydrome

Neotenic Complex Sydrome (NCS) or forever baby sydrome is a rare condition that makes one appear as if they aren't aging at all. In most cases this can make a grown person appear to be a toddler or even younger. In some less severe cases, it can cause an adult to simply look like a child.

Wendy is the only character in Fairy Tail we never see grow or change except in experience and power. Even after 2 whole years after the Tenrou incident she doesn't grow "even an inch" according to Wendy herself. Even Auska, the youngest member of Fairy Tail seems to be growing over those 2 years, but Wendy remains the same. We do see her as a child and she has clearly grown from childhood, however, Sting and Rogue were meant to be the same age as Wendy. In Anna's flashback we see all 5 dragon slayers as children and despite Wendy most probable to be the oldest, (W - Feb 27th, S - April 25th, R - unknown other than he was born the same year as wendy and Sting, so I say most probable to be the oldest because she was born at the start of the year and it's likely Rogue was born later in the year), she's still the smallest of the three. You can argue that girls are inherently smaller than boys, but that's not always the case. In fact as children it's quite often that girls are actually bigger than boys. And it tends to be true that your age shows better as a child and less so as you get older. So if Wendy was born first, shouldn't she have had the most time to grow and be bigger than Sting and Rogue?

Happy - Therapy Animal

Happy doesn't so represent a disorder as he does the hospitals therapy animal. More often than not, Happy gives comfort to those around him as a therapy animal would do in a hospital. He's particularly close to two of the patients, Natsu obviously as he seems to know just what to tell Natsu to get him to calm down long enough to listen when he notices things are starting to get out of hand. And the other will make sense when we get to them. In the hospital outside of the imaginary world of the other patient, Happys just a normal cat who goes to each patient to comfort them and help them come to terms with their disorders. He can even at times experience their disorders with them to create a visual for the patient about what their disorder is and how it can affect them and those around them. Which could be why we often see him indulge himself with eating when he's with Natsu specifically.

Carla/Charle - Doctor

Like Happy, Carla more plays a role than has a disorder. She's the hospitals doctor. She's the most realistic of the bunch and is the only one that has two forms. Human and exceed. Her exceed form would protane to her being a doctor trained to only one profession. As we know she grew up with Wendy, so in the hospital, it's quite possible that she was Wendy's doctor growing up and was the one in charge of her treatments and that's why she's so protective of Wendy. She later would become the doctor for the whole team as Wendy was now healthy enough to be introduced to other people with little to no consequence and it would be much easier to group the patients that spend a lot of time together with the same doctor. But of course she would have to further her education and training to be able to handle the other conditions of the other patients. So she evolved. And that's how we got human Carla/Charle. Because now she's trained in more than one profession so she has more than one form.

And last but most certainly not least...

Lucy - Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is a mental disorder that can cause hallucinations, delusions, or even cause the patient to recede into their own mind that can cause disorganized thinking and behavior.

The story of Fairy Tail is told from Lucy's perspective. I've seen the theories and the headcanons that the story is simply one that takes place in Lucy's mind as she's writing about it. And that's what got me thinking about this whole thing. The 7 years on Tenrou was a 7 year coma Lucy herself endured and when she woke up, everyone she knew when she went under was still there, including Wendy who hadn't changed at all hence why she had to be at least one of the wizards to go to Tenrou Island for the s-class trials, despite being a newcomer, the youngest member of the guild, and a child. In order to make this happen, Lucy had to imagine her with a rare magic type to ensure her spot on the s-class trials and since Little Wendy wants to be a doctor as an adult, her magic reflects that making her the sky dragon slayer and a healer. While this doesn't explain why no one else aged in her mind, it could be that she just didn't want to think time kept moving for her friends so she froze them in time along with her so she didn't have to feel she missed on their adventures. In her mind, when time stopped for her, it stopped for everyone in the hospital, at least all of the patients. Because Wendy never ages she assumed that because Wendy hadn't aged, neither had anyone else. Now wouldn't Happy as a normal cat be noticeably aged. Nope. The original Happy died a long time ago and was replaced with a similar looking cat who they've also chose to name Happy for those who can't or find it hard to adapt to change. Or it could be they simply chose to replace Happy when he got old for that same reason. To keep the illusion that nothing was changing for those who couldn't handle it or have a hard time doing so. So in Lucy's fantasy, nothing changed for any of the patients in 7 years while she was under. The entire story is an adventure Lucy is imagining while the hospital undergoing treatment. And as someone with schizophrenia, she sees the treatments and medications as an enemy that needs to be defeated that they're all fighting together. And Zeref (at least in the OG series) is a phsycatrist, who became one to initially help his younger brother watching his parents struggle to take care of him and his needs, which made him the number one enemy in Lucy's mind. The demons from the books of Zeref were pych students in training, including Natsu, who has been a patient so long as well as her friend that Lucy can't accept it and continues to see him as one of her friends who's just fighting off his demon side further complicating their relationship in universe. Her celestial spirits are her imaginary friends that help her and tell her how to fight off the medication and treatments, and when she sacrificed Aquarius for the Celestial Spirit King, she was actually choosing to start to get better by giving up her most beloved imaginary friend and taking the medication. She later decided she couldn't go through with it and chooses to "find Aquarius" again. Her magic also correlates to her real life personality as gazing at the stars and finding the constellations was the only thing that made her feel "normal" and was one of her favorite things to do, so she named her imaginary friends after the constellations and her magic to do with summoning them to help her fight her enemies.

I know this all seems far-fetched and I tired to be as sensitive to each disorder as I could giving enough descriptive details trying not to make this too long. I did extensive reasearch on each disorder before decidibg to share this and even share a few of them myself. But this has been brewing in my head for years and I feel the most comfortable place for me to share is online with a bunch of strangers. Again if you want a full synopsis with extensive detail on any of these characters or any of the others from the show, then let me know! I'd be happy to go into this deeper if anyone's interested!

And remember, if you ask for help, you aren't burdening anyone. This post is also a reminder that everyone is struggling with something even if you can't see it. Don't be afraid to reach out if you're struggling. There is another way out. Don't give up. You are strong. You are loved. Your life is worth more than your silence. 🧡💛

[kyday]

Solace | Kate Bishop

Summary: It's one of those nights again where Kate disappears and doesn't come back until it's early morning. You have finally had enough. warnings: bad writing (sorry not sorry), few swear words. light angst with a happy ending. enjoy!! wordcount: 1200+ ------------------

Katiee 💘: hey love, i know you’re at work right now, but im just telling you that ill be busy the entire day. I have so much to do today so i might not be able to open my phone as often.

You: hi babyyy, its fine. i get it,  just make sure to text me once everything  is over, okay? love you.

Katiee 💘: of course, dont worry. love you too, mwuah! 9:23 am

It was 11:34 pm, the flickering lights of NYC fluttered outside your window, and the constant noise of cars passing by was nothing new. You had been up all night waiting for a reply from your girlfriend, Kate.

Her last reply was in the morning, after that— radio silence. Her silence was unnerving, although you had gotten used to her doing this, it never was this drastic. You kept opening your phone every time it turned on, expecting it was her message, but still; nothing.

You: babyy, are you free noww? if not, i hope you finish up soon. mwuah. 6:02 pm

You:

heyy, i know this is probably just one of your busy days but are you donee? lucky misses you already.  text me when you get this. 7:35 pm 

You:

kate, Im getting worried. you haven't been answering the entire day. is everything fine? please text me once you see this. 9:00 pm

You:

Kate??? Please tell me you’re okay. I'm worried sick. 9:58 pm

You anxiously paced around your bedroom, at the corner of the room Lucky was sleeping on his bed. He was planning on staying up with you but at 10 pm he accidentally fell asleep. You make your way to the dining room, leaving a light on— you’ll wait for Kate here.

You can feel your eyes slowly giving up, trying to keep yourself up— you try to rub your face to stay awake a bit more. 

This hasn’t been the first time Kate has done this. Ever since last year when she hit that large bell tower, she had changed. There were times you often pretended to not know when she had cuts or bruises— she was a bad liar. You can often see her limping or wincing every time she moves.

You never questioned her about it though. You didn't want to overwhelm her especially since her mother got sent to jail for murdering people. But ever since that— it seemed like she was burying herself in her work more and more. The cuts or bruises were more visible, you remember when she didn't come home for a day and she blamed it on her cousin who was in town and wanted some tour around NYC.

Right as you were about to fall asleep, you heard the sound of keys clattering and curses being mumbled as the person entered the front door. You recognized the voice to be Kate. “Fuck, fuck fuck.” 

She stopped in her tracks when she saw you standing in front of the couch. There was a moment of silence between you, “Where the hell have you been?” You questioned in disbelief. She puts down her bow on the nearest table, you watch her intently.

“The company had me go overtime since there were extra projects due. Look, I sorry-” 

She explains but you quickly cut her off. “Oh my god, then why the hell do you bring your fucking bow or why couldn't you even text me once? Do you think I'm stupid Kate?” She sighs, massaging her temple.

“Y/n, let's not do this right now.” She mumbles, giving you a tired look. “I'm tired, we can talk about this in the morning.” You shook your head immediately.

You stepped closer to her. “No, we are talking about this now. Because in the morning you’ll be gone even before I wake up. Goddamit, I'm not oblivious! I know that your work isn't from seven am to eleven fucking pm!” Kate is starting to become more irritated with you, trying to bite her tongue from saying anything.

“What the hell are you hiding from me? I was worried sick, I waited up until what? Eleve-” You look at the clock. 12:10 am. “Its fucking midnight!” Kate knows she deserves this, but she's tired, way too tired to fight right now.

“Who said you had to fucking wait for me?” She replies, stunning you.

You let out a sarcastic laugh, “Oh my god, maybe because I'm your girlfriend, Kate! Have you ever thought of that?”

As the tension in the room thickened, Kate's expression softened, and she let out a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to worry you," she said, her voice tinged with exhaustion. "I know I've been distant lately, and I haven't been completely honest with you."

You can feel your frustration, but you are also worried. “Then why, Kate? Why do you keep shutting me out? Why are you not telling me the truth?” Kate looks down in guilt, her superhero duties have been such a huge thing for her that she forgot her true priority, you.

“I haven't been honest with you..” She starts off.

“No shit Sherlock.” You mumble, earning a smile from her.

She coughs, “I know this may uh- this may seem unbelievable but I've been working with Hawkeye to bring this organization down.” She stopped to see your reaction, but your face was like stone. “And just— today we were so close to getting them but they got away.” Kate continues, her voice turning into a whisper at the end, you can hear the disappointment in her voice.

“But you didn't have to hide it from me, Kate.” You start, tears welled up in Kate’s eyes.

“I didn't want to make you worry, I'm so sorry.” She whispers.

You walk over to her and wipe her tears. “I'm always worrying about you, you know that. It doesn't matter how crazy your story is. Hell, if you told me you were fighting aliens, I would believe you. Because I trust you, Kate. And I need you to put that same trust in me.” You explain, hugging her.

You can feel her nod against your chest. “No more secrets, okay?” 

“Okay.” She mumbles, latching onto you.

You chuckle, “Come on, we can cuddle in bed.” She protests for a second, saying she wants to lie down on the floor. But you manage to convince her into going to the bedroom for cuddles.

She plops down on the mattress, and you follow behind her. “I'm sorry again, I won't do it again, love.” She looks up at your eyes, you smile at her. 

“It's okay now. Just go to bed, okay?” She nods, and she inches closer to you before pressing her lips onto yours. “Goodnight baby.”

“Goodnight love.” Kate mumbles tiredly, cuddling up to you. And for a moment, the loud cars outside quieted down, and the bright city lights weren't so bright anymore. 

Kate realized that she could only have this comfort with you.

[kokusfluffyhair]

Kokushibou when you're sick

I've been sick the past week (it's getting better), so time to imagine what it would be like if my favourite stoic samurai demon was here to take care of me Instead of me having to take care of myself

You don't want him to worry about you, so when you get that annoying little sore feeling in your throat, you don't say anything. You continue on as normal, because you know that he can't get human illnesses as a demon. But he still marks that there is something not right with your body (damn that transparent world -- you can't keep anything from him). You're doing some light work you're probably editing your damn thesis and Kokushibou comes up to you and stands behind you.

"What?" you ask, noticing him there.

"You should ... rest ..." he says.

"Why?" you ask, not turning around to face him.

Kokushibou grunts a little under his breath. "You ... are falling ... ill ..."

You know he's right because you feel it yourself, and that's why you're trying to get as much done as you can before you're feeling bad.

"I feel fine," you say to him.

You can sense that he's irritated, but he's not the type to force you to stop writing. Instead, he sits down behind you and crosses his arms, staring at you with all six of his eyes.

You keep writing, feeling his gaze on you, but it soon becomes too annoying for you to just ignore.

"Why are you here?" you ask him.

Kokushibou says nothing.

You turn to look at him over your shoulder. "Can you go away?" you ask.

"I ... am going ... nowhere ..." he says.

You groan. "Fine, but can you stop staring at me?"

He says nothing. You have to either stop working or keep yourself from getting too annoyed at his staring. You decide to try to ignore him.

This continues until you're done writing for the day. After that, Kokushibou offers to make you a warm bath and some warm tea. It feels like he's pushing himself too much into your space, but you understand that he senses what you feel in your throat, so you let him do it.

When your condition worsens, Kokushibou doesn't leave your side. He knows it's just a cold and it's not going to kill you. He's not scared for you, but he feels bad that you are going to be uncomfortable and ill for several days. It's times like these that he wishes he had made you a demon, and considers making you a demon once you are well again.

He gets you everything you could possibly need -- tissues, blankets, water, warm tea, soup, medication, fruit. He cooks human food for you and makes sure you are getting enough nutrition. He doesn't say much during all of this time. He normally doesn't say much, but at times like this, he's even more silent than usual. It's because of how bad he feels that you are sick.

If you get chills and feel cold, he will not only wrap you in a blanket, but he will also hug you non-stop. You're like a little cocoon in his arms. He's always feeling your forehead and will put a cool cloth on your forehead if he feels you are too warm.

He tries to do things to entertain you. He will play games with you or read to you. If it was in the modern times, he'd watch your favourite series with you, regardless of how much he liked it or didn't like it. The good thing is that, because he can't get human illnesses, that he can cuddle and kiss you as much as he wants without the risk of getting sick himself.

He isn't bothered if you cough or sneeze on him. But if anyone else did, they would no longer be breathing. Don't cough or sneeze on him deliberately. Kokushibou finds this to be very, very rude. But if it happens by accident, it happens. He doesn't mind. He will always have tissues ready for you if you need them.

When you are starting to get better, you can see the relief in him. Of course, he can see in the transparent world that you are overcoming the virus too. He hates seeing you uncomfortable, so it pleases him to no end to see that you will be back to normal soon.

Once you are better, he will be extra protective for a while. He considers you to be in a weakened state because your body had to fight something off. Kokushibou will be clinging to you a lot, and will insist that you wear a scarf and hat when going out for the next week. When you're sleeping together, he makes sure you are extra warm, too. It is a bit overbearing, but you know that he does it because he's concerned. He loves you and wants to make sure you stay healthy.

[maywinchester]

You Think You Do

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: 911

Warnings: Based around the end of season 9, Sick reader, Dean's self pity, angst, fluff

Author's Note: Holy shit balls so I've never posted a fanfic before! I have written many in my brain for my own self-indulgence but I've never written any out much less posted anything other than sharing other's works. So with that I'll say sorry in advance if it sucks, all feedback is appreciated! I don't own any rights to Supernatural, so lets get started!! :D

It had been weeks since you felt like yourself, & it hadn’t gone unnoticed. Your headaches had become almost constant with short spells of relief in between & you felt like you had a weight inside your chest, making it hard to breathe & pulling your chest to the ground. Your other symptoms included fatigue (& the dark circles that came with it) irritability, general weakness & wheezing, especially when you slept. Things were only getting worse, which meant that the boys constant fussing over you was getting worse too.

Sam was logical; when you first started showing symptoms he suggested fluids & rest, he treated it like a cold, which is what you thought it was. Now that it was apparently more, he was hitting the medical books in the Men of Letters laboratory. 

Dean, however, had treated it like the Spanish Flu from the beginning &, now that it had turned out to be more serious, he was almost insufferable.

One thing had really peaked Dean’s interest though: Why wasn’t anyone else catching this? Dean had been right under you from the moment he noticed a change & before that he was constantly around you as well. The question only heightened his anxiety & so did Sam’s silence when Dean brought it to his attention.

“I don’t know man. Something’s not sittin’ right with me. Y/N never gets sick, ever.” 

His voice was extra gritty, lined with worry. It carried down the hall to you & Dean’s shared room where you laid, trying to fall asleep, & listened as your heart broke for him. You knew it was serious & it was probably too late for anything short of angelic. With Cas still MIA, things were starting to look bleak, but you still didn’t want to let in on just how bad you felt.

“I know” Sam sounded tired “We’ll find something Dean.” 

You heard Dean coming down the hall, dragging his feet as he walked. The guilt crept in, you could tell they were exhausted. You held your breath until you saw him in the doorway & gave him a faint smile, trying your hardest not to seem as weak as you felt. 

“D” your voice was barely a whisper, but he was close enough to hear as he sat beside you on the bed, brushing your hair back. You closed your eyes & hummed, taking in the feel of his rough but gentle hand as he rested it on your cheek & the smell of whiskey as his warm breath fanned over your face. 

“We’re trying to find something sweetheart” He had that look, the one for when hope was dwindling down & he was preparing himself for the worst but trying to put on a face for you. 

“I know.. I heard” You move over to make room for him & he lays down before you even have to ask, wrapping an arm around you & pulling you into his chest. 

“Are you okay?” He scoffs at that & you look up at him. Why are you asking if he’s okay when you so clearly are not? You see the battle in his eyes as he contemplates his answer.

“I wish it was me.” You take a deep breath & a moment to appreciate that he told you the truth, & to realize what that means to Dean Winchester. What you mean to him, & your heart breaks a little more. You wanted to tell him just how bad you felt, to lean on him the way you knew you could, but he was already feeling defeated & the last thing you wanted to do was confirm his fears.

“I know.. but then I’d be wishing it were me.” You give him a knowing look, you know he’d rather take the illness & whatever consequences than sit there & watch you deal with it.

“Let's be honest though, I handle these things better than you” You shoot him a playful smile that he tries to return. 

“You shouldn’t have to handle them at all Y/N. You don’t deserve this.”

“But you think you do.” It wasn't a question & he refused to meet your eyes, staring a hole in the door.

“I think we both deserve for Cas to show his ass & fix this.” Dean’s tone was harsh, probably more than he meant to be. His everyday frustrations were elevated by the Mark, but you’d learned to let it go, you knew he was doing his best.

“Maybe, but he has other people to look after now.” He looks at you then, wondering how you can be so understanding while being so miserable. You read him like a book.

“I know, I’m a saint.” you grin, the biggest you’ve had the energy for in days, & he returns it, genuinely this time. He holds your gaze for a moment before you look away, shy for no reason in particular, other than the green eyes staring back at you.

“You really are” you look back at him then, a questioning brow raised “You deal with my crap constantly, you take care of me & Sam. You’ve stuck by us even when everyone else left. You’ve been tortured for us, you’ve died for us.”

“Well, it was more for you, but yes” you laughed. “I love Sam, but some of those demons really do have a gift” He winced at the memory.

“I’m gonna do whatever it takes to get you better” He looked deep into your eyes, making sure you understood the seriousness of his promise.

“I know.. you always have.”

[ladamedusoif]

Secrets (Marcus Pike x GN!Reader)

A Merry Fic-Mas - December 24

Part of A Merry Fic-Mas: A Pedro Boy Holiday Fic Calendar - click for masterlist.

Follow my writing blog @ladameecrit and turn on notifications to keep up with my writing.

Pairing: Marcus Pike x GN!Reader 

Word count: 1743

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Angst; fluff; references to parental illness; no use of Y/N; no physical descriptions of reader; no gendered pronouns; minor swearing

A/N: This can be read as a standalone, but I wrote it thinking of Marcus and Reader from ‘Hot Chocolate’ and ‘Christmas Market’ in this series.

“How’s Marcus?” Your mother’s voice is bright and breezy on the call.

You pause a little too long for her liking. 

“Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine, mom, it’s just…he’s not himself, lately. I thought we were all set for the holidays - you know how we booked a little cabin in the Blue Ridge Mountains - but every time I try to talk about packing or planning, he gets tetchy and weird.”

“Maybe it’s work stress? He does have a lot on. Poor Marcus.”

“So do I, mom, and I’m not taking it out on him. Every time I ask him outright he just says everything’s fine but it isn’t. It’s like he’s hiding something from me.”

Your mother tut-tuts. “That’s not Marcus. He would never keep secrets from you.”

“I wish I could be as confident as you are.”

***

With Christmas falling on a Monday, you and Marcus had planned to take off on the Saturday morning, making the most of the extra days off before the holiday. By Friday night, he’s got the bags ready to load into the car and your refrigerator is groaning with food for the vacation, all ready to be stacked in cool bags for the journey.

Things hadn’t improved much in the time since you’d voiced your fears to your mother. Marcus remained unusually tetchy and irritable, a far cry from his usual sunny self. He insisted he was looking forward to the time away with you, but there was just something off. Something hidden underneath the surface, and for the first time in your relationship he had put up enough defences so that you couldn’t reveal the truth. 

Maybe he’s unhappy, you think to yourself. Maybe the vacation is make or break.

Your stomach churns as you imagine five days away with Marcus while he tries to decide if you need to end the relationship or not. 

Your phone rings as you’re sorting out a couple of bottles of wine for the trip. Mom. You brush it off, muttering to yourself that you’ll call her later, once the packing is done. 

It’s barely two minutes later that Marcus comes into the kitchen, talking on his phone while trying to catch your attention. 

“I’ll put you on now…sure. Sure. Well, I’m sure he’ll be okay, I’m so sorry - okay, keep us posted.”

He hands you the phone, mouthing “Your mom”.

“Mom?”

“Oh, darling, I’m sorry… you’re probably up to your neck with packing and sorting for the trip.”

“Just tell me, mom. You wouldn’t call Marcus if it wasn’t urgent.”

“Darling…it’s your dad. He’s had a fall, he’s in hospital, and -”

Your heart drops. “Mom, is he okay?”

She pauses a second too long. “Fine, fine… just hasn’t regained consciousness yet but it’s fine! I just felt you would be angry if I waited until after your trip to tell you. But it’s fine!”

“Mom, you’ve said ‘it’s fine’ so many times I’m pretty sure it isn’t fine.”

“Sweetheart, please just go on your trip and we’ll keep you posted. Okay?”

You become aware of Marcus peeking around the corner, trying to assess your mood from the tone of your voice and your body language. 

“Did the doctors say when they think he’ll regain consciousness?”

Another pause.

“They’re not sure, sweetie.”

You look up at Marcus, your eyes looking into his as you tell your mom you’ll be home tomorrow.

***

He swears it’s fine, but you know Marcus is annoyed. Or hurt. Or maybe a mix of both. 

Shit, maybe this really was a make or break vacation.

He had offered to come with you, but you dissuaded him, not wanting him to have to be thrown head-first into the madness that was your family - crisis or no crisis. 

“I’ll just stay here, I guess.” He casts an eye over the bags in the hallway. 

“Babe, no.” You wrap your arms around his waist. “We paid for the cabin and it’s too late to cancel now. It would be a pity not to use it at all. You’ve got that stack of reading you want to do. And, like, when dad wakes up I can come down and join you. What do you think?”

He doesn’t quite meet your gaze. “I guess.”

“I love you, Marcus. I’m so sorry.”

He sucks on the inside of his cheek and kisses you - not on the mouth, but on the cheek. “I love you, too.”

***

When you arrive home in Ohio you hop straight in a cab to the hospital, where your mother and siblings have spent the night keeping vigil. You try not to panic when you see your dad, hooked up to a morass of tubes and wires. 

“The doctors say it looks worse than it is,” your older sister explained. She holds out a bag of peppermint candies. “Candy?”

It’s several hours before you realise you haven’t let Marcus know you got there safely, like you promised. Too busy trying to get a clear answer from your mom about what, exactly, the doctors have said, and distracted by trying to track down a doctor to discuss a prognosis. 

Hey babe - I’m sorry, I have been talking to my mom and the doctors here. Dad okay, still no sign of improvement but stable. Love you - call you tomorrow.

You spend that night at the hospital, insisting that your mom go home and rest. You watch the dark sky brighten, slowly but surely, as Christmas Eve dawns. 

“It’s Christmas Eve, dad,” you murmur, unsure if he can hear you or not. “You’re not in the drunk tank, though,” you joke, referring to his favourite Christmas song, ‘Fairytale of New York’. “Just in hospital. I’ll let you know if the NYPD choir turns up.”

You get up and stretch your legs, wandering into the hallway in search of caffeine and sugar. The hospital cafe is quiet and you grab a cup of black coffee and a donut before returning to your dad’s floor. 

Panic sets in when you see nurses moving in and out of his room. One of them turns, spots you, and grins. 

“He’s waking up! Can you call your mom?”

By lunchtime, he’s fully awake and talking, grumbling about not being allowed home for Christmas. You duck out later in the afternoon to call Marcus and update him.

It goes straight to voicemail.

***

The hot shower feels like heaven as you rinse away the strain of the last couple of days. Well, some of it, anyway. Marcus still hasn’t answered your calls.

Thankfully, you’ve found a distraction, volunteering to prep some food at your parents’ house that can be easily taken to the hospital for Christmas Day. You slip on a pair of soft old sweatpants and a college hoodie and pad around the kitchen, filling some Tupperware containers with individual servings of cold cuts and salads while listening to the cheesy Christmas show on the local radio station.

You crawl into bed late that night, casting one final glance at your phone. 

Still nothing.

***

You stir awake at about two in the morning, roused by a thumping noise coming from somewhere in the house. As your brain adjusts, you realise it’s someone knocking on the door. 

You grab your brother’s old baseball bat as you descend the stairs. Can’t hurt to be prepared, after all. And you’re pretty sure this isn’t Santa Claus calling.

You open the door slowly, reluctantly. 

A pair of coffee-brown eyes. A soft, uncertain smile. Cheeks flushed with cold. 

“Marcus?”

He rubs his hands together and stamps his feet. “Can I come in? Got really cold in the car on the way up here.”

You fling your arms around him as he steps inside, forgetting the strangeness of the last few weeks. “What the hell are you doing here?”

He holds his soft, dark green knitted cap in his hands and looks nervous. Really nervous.

“I… I had to see you.”

Oh, shit. Wait - is he going to break up with you on Christmas morning? While your dad’s in hospital?!

“Ooookay.”

“Baby, I -” He falters. “This isn’t how I wanted to do this.”

He is definitely about to break up with you. And good riddance, because he’s clearly heartless.

“Just get it over and done with, Marcus.”

He takes a deep breath and exhales, long and slow.

“I wanted to have the space to do this at the cabin, y’know?”

“Marcus. Just say it.”

“Baby, I’m so grateful for you - you’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met, so kind, so loving, and -”

You’ve had it. “Marcus - just say you don’t want to be with me. You’ve been weird for weeks. You’re here on Christmas fucking Day, having driven a seven-hour journey to get here. You obviously can’t be with me a minute longer, so you might as well just -”

He has dropped to one knee.

Wait. What?

“I wanted to ask you to marry me.”

Your jaw drops. For once, you’re stunned into silence.

“Baby?”

“I…Marcus. I just…is this…fuck.”

He reaches into his coat pocket and presents you with a little box. “Um, do you mind if I stand up again? My knees aren’t what they used to be.”

You chuckle and help him to his feet, before opening the box to find a perfect, simple engagement ring. 

“I can’t believe it, Marcus.”

He shrugs. “You seemed sure we were about to break up. I’m sorry I’ve been so stressed the last few weeks, my love. I was just readying everything for a perfect proposal, in the mountains, and I was so worried you’d say no, and then the ring was delayed, and then - well. And then your dad got sick. But he’s awake? I’m sorry, I only just saw your messages. My phone was in the trunk.”

You lift your gaze from the ring. “He’s awake. And I’m sorry, too - I didn’t know what you were keeping from me, and I didn’t even think of this.”

Marcus raises an eyebrow. “You didn’t think I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you?”

You chuckle. “Mmmm. Maybe I thought a man as perfect as you couldn’t possibly want someone like me.”

He pulls you tight to him and kisses you. “Baby, you forgot something.”

You look confused. “I did?”

“You didn’t give me an answer yet.”

Tears shining in your eyes, you slip the ring on your finger. “A million times yes, Marcus Pike. Provided there are no more secrets.”

[bugs1nmybrain]

Aizawa Shouta x Bipolar! Reader

This post hits a little home for me because I’ve struggled with bipolar disorder (specifically type 1 with psychosis) and it’s impacted my life significantly. I hardly ever see any fanfics regarding bipolar disorder so I wanted to contribute and give people with this condition recognition.

Warnings: Mentions of major mental illness; mania, depression, suicidality, psychotic symptoms (hallucinations, delusions, paranoia)

At the beginning of your relationship, he doesn’t know a lot about what it means to be bipolar. Once you open up to him about your disorder, he’ll do some research on his phone to understand it better. But he mostly likes to hear about what it’s like from you because not one person is the same

When you’re experiencing a depressive episode, he does his best to comfort you. He’ll let you vent about why you’re so down. He encourages you to push through it, but he won’t force you. He doesn’t expect you to be perfect, but he can’t just watch you lay in bed all day. 

On those particularly hard days when you can’t manage to move a muscle, he’ll cuddle you for comfort. He’ll try to get you to come out of your room with him, even if it’s just to eat or watch tv with him.

If you get to the point that you’re feeling suicidal, he’ll pay extra attention to you and keep means of harm out of the house. He will not hesitate to bring you to the hospital if it gets serious. It sucks, but he the last thing he wants is for you to hurt yourself. He needs to know that you’re safe

Aizawa finds it a bit harder to know what to do when you’re manic

He’s a lot more patient with you than someone would assume. Sure, he gets a little irritated when he can’t manage to get through to you, but he knows this isn’t something you really have control over and doesn’t get upset with you about it

When you’re not getting any sleep, he’ll pretty much force you to lay in bed with him. Even if you’re still watching tv or using your phone. He just wants you to rest in some form.

He feels kind of lost when you’re all over the place, whether that’s cleaning vigorously or doing all kinds of different projects that you probably won’t finish. He tries to look at things a little more rationally. Sure, you’re all over the place. But you’re being productive and making all kinds of cool stuff. 

He’ll try to bring you back down to earth. When you’re talking a mile a minute, he’s kind of mean about it. “I can’t understand you, you need to slow down.”

Will talk you out of making impulsive decisions and spending too much money. Tells you that it’s not logical at all and it’s only going to negatively affect you no matter how energized or happy you may be feeling

He WILL give it to you straight if you get agitated at him. He knows that whatever you’re saying you probably don’t actually mean, but he’s not going to let you walk all over him.

Like I said, he’s patient, he’s just not going to baby you

Below is for psychosis symptoms. I know this doesn’t apply to everyone who’s bipolar, but it does for me and I really need the comfort lmao

If you start experiencing more severe symptoms, he’s a lot more gentle because he knows you’re not healthy and that you really can’t control anything that’s happening

If you’re having hallucinations, he won’t lecture you and do the whole, “that’s not there,” shit. More on the lines of, “what is it that you’re seeing? What does it look like?”

Delusions are a little more frustrating for him because he knows there’s nothing he can say that’s going to change your mind. He’ll just hear you out and try to see the patterns in your delusions and see if he can see rationally why you believe those things.

Again, he’s not going to tell you that you’re wrong or everything you think isn’t true, because that doesn’t help. He’ll talk to you about it. He makes sure to meet you at your level. 

If you start having persecutory delusions regarding him, that’s when he gets the most frustrated. It hurts him that you’d think he’d ever try to harm you

Honestly, it’ll probably end with him taking you to the hospital because there’s nothing he can really do on his end other than support you. He’ll call you while you’re in the hospital to check on you and ask you how your treatment is going. If possible, he’ll have regular contact with your providers so they have someone who can advocate 

He encourages you to take your medication and will regularly ask if you’ve taken them that day. He can be annoying about it

He loves you and your disorder doesn’t change that for him. It can be confusing for him, but he’s made a commitment to be there for you in those times.

[tokoyamisstuff]

Sugar Shock Ch. 1

Hotaru Haganezuka x GN! Reader

Based on this comic by @yuki2sksksk. I hope I did it justice! 💌

Might do more chapters as the comic continues. 🙃

Summary: No one - including Haganezuka himself - believed that he would ever get married, let alone be interested in it at all...

...that was until he met you, at least.

Warnings: None.

Words: 1763

A/N: I wrote this on my phone while my baby was dozing on me and I couldn't move. 🤣Added a bit of extra plot just for fun.

Also I know the title is cheesy, leave me alone.

There was nothing special about today, he thought.

It was a day like so man others before, and still he decided it'd be the day of his proposal to you.

The peculiar swordsmith had been pining on you for a year and a half. Well, one year five months and twenty-three days to be precize. He was a man to whom details mattered, after all.

So why today, after such a long time of inaction? There was no answer to that question he asked himself.

Maybe it'd be safer for his heart to keep on admiring you from afar, occasionally stilling this irresistible urge to seek your presence by visiting your shop.

Hotaru sat up in his bed, groaning as he shook his head desperately to become clear again. But you were always there, in the corner of his mind.

The sun had yet to rise, but every single time he would try to fall asleep again was a fruitless attempt. His thoughts would always wander off to you, about how you were probably awake right now as well, already preparing the shop for your daily work.

You had a kind of dedication to your craft Haganezuka only ever saw in himself. Maybe you weren't all that different, he and you. Lonely in your passion for the only thing which in another way connected you to other people.

There it was again, this annoying pound in his chest he couldn't quite decipher. Sometimes it was a narrowing feeling however, as if he couldn't breathe and his whole body went numb.

Back then he even visited the doctor of the village, certain that it was a sign of a serious illness. It was the first time he had ever felt this way for anyone, after all, and deciphering those complex emotions sure took him a while...

...and when he realized this was what love must feel like, he became afraid. Scared of what this would make of him, that his emotions would hinder his work and the perfect concentration needed for it.

So afraid that he thought suppressing them would be easier than to find out what kind of life could await him if only he had the courage to confess.

But he was literally drawn to you like a firefly would be to the light.

Even if his love for you was no sickness, it sure felt like it - and would worsen with every day that he did not act.

Haganezuka felt like he would burst if he wouldn't finally vocalize those feelings. But if he'd make himself vulnerable like that, he'll at least go all out and instantly ask you to join him in marriage.

"Might as well get this over with."

His way to your shop led straight through the main Swordsmith Village, a crowded place he would usually go out of his way to avoid. Luckily, since it was still early, no one would bother him on his quest.

While he was strolling through the empty road, he reminisced about when exactly he began harboring those irritating emotions for you. His crush had developed slowly but steadily, just like the process of forging a sword.

Fighting it was a battle he was doomed to lose.

You on the other hand had probably forgotten already, since those acts of kindness just come natural to you. Many times before he had seen you handing out samples of candy to children or drinks to people working outside in the sun.

About two years ago you had coincidentally encountered him in the forrest.

You were collecting herbs and other ingredients needed for your work, stumbling across a sulking Haganezuka in the middle of nowhere. He had a habit of running off after he had one of his infamous tantrums, sometimes disappearing for days nowhere to be found.

Opposite to the other townsfolk which would usually scold or make fun about his behavior, you simply nodded with a smile on your face, greeting him in the silence he most likely needed.

When he failed to react you'd dare sitting down next to him, and even though his face was hidden you felt an intense stare observing you sinking onto the slightly damp grass. Your nervousness was pathetically obvious, yet not a surprising reaction.

Hotaru was used to nothing less from people that knew of his violent tendencies, so over time he had mastered the art of making it seem as if he did not care. Still, he shuffled a bit further away from you, his arms crossed in front of his chest to make him seem less of a threat.

After what felt like an eternity of silence, you took a deep breath of fresh air and rummaged into your bag, with Haganezuka eyeing you warily yet not less interested. "Here" you offered as you pulled out a single piece of mitarashi dango - his favourite. "To calm the nerves."

He snatched it out of your hand without thinking first, making you chuckle as you heared him munch quite aggressively from beneath the Hyottoko mask.

In return you had gotten a long rant about some kid that had apparently broken his sword, as well as more details about the topic of forging a Nichirin Sword than you were willing to listen to. Still, it was rather pleasant to see him so expressive for a change.

And yet: After that event Haganezuka never spoke to you again.

You'd even go so far as to say the man was actively avoiding you, always changing sides of the road or doing a quick turn whenever you'd meet in the village. Even when visited your shop, Kanamori would always accompany him and do all the talking.

And yet he would come every single day, though you deduced it was due to his weakness for sweets in general that he'd endure your presence.

When Tecchikawahara got wind of it however, he insisted that his foster son had never opened up to anyone so easily, but you brushed it off as nothing special.

Why force someone so obviously asocial into an interaction? Things were fine as they are now.

You yawned, stretching in front of the great display window as you took in the first rays of sunlight this morning. The daylight would scatter across the treetops, showing the colorful beauty of autumn.

It sure was nice living out here, in safety.

Sometimes you couldn't believe it was three years already since Kanamori had taken you with him.

Like many others that ended up affiliated with Demon Slayers, your previous life had been obliterated by one of those monsters.

Kanamori had taken sympathy in your situation back then, and offered to take you in as an apprentice. Sadly it turned out you lacked any talent for swordcrafting, so you stuck to the labor that had been passed down in your family for generations: Creating different kinds of desserts and beverages.

This way you could still be useful to the hardworking craftsmen, repaying their generosity of taking you in at your lowest point with your eternal gratitude.

And now that you had accustomed to this life, you felt a sense of normalcry. Not a home, not yet, but maybe someday.

A loud bang startled you straight out of your pondering. It was the front door that had forcefull, swung open, accented with the little bell attached to it.

"Ha-Haganezuka!"

This was certainly the last person you had expected to enter your shop before it had even properly opened. And alone for a change, since Kanamori was out of town for this day.

There was no trying to hide both the bewilderment and concern in your features when he approached you with firm steps, wordlessly towering over your much smaller form.

Quite taken aback by the sudden proximity, you gulped before reminding yourself he is still a customer. And it would be impolite to just remain like this - since as far as you knew him, he wasn't going to initiate a conversation anyway.

"Good morning!" you cheered as you put up your most welcoming smile, "What can I help you with?"

And just like that, everything he had come up with in his mind had vanished into thin air.

Good for him that he was wearing his mask like he always would, otherwise his intentions would be as clear as daylight. He could only guess, but from the heat that was radiating off of his face, it was most likely bright red at this point.

"C'mon, say something...remember what you came here to do!"

Hotaru's words had now completely failed him, and he could see the gears in your head turn the longer he would remain staring at you without making a single sound.

Every single time he saw you it was comparable to the ecstasis of having finished yet another masterpiece of a sword.

And just like those blades, you were immaculate.

He flinched at the inevitable rejection that awaited him, only now wondering why he would even consider asking for your hand when he knew he could consider himself lucky if you'd even hear him out.

All of this seemed way easier when he went through it in his head.

You rose an eyebrow at the strange man, but quickly regained your composure. "If you want to buy sweets, you have to wait until I can open the store properly..."

The only answer was a shake of his head. Alright then.

"No?" Oh, now you got it. "Did you come to see Kanamori? He's still spending time with his wife, but he told me they'll be back before noon."

Another frantic head-shake.

What then?!

It's alright that he doesn't like smalltalk, or you, or both. But how should you know why he's here when he is making this way harder than it has to be?

"Stay polite, Y/N, pick your fights wisely..." this man has quite a temper and poor anger management skills, you wouldn't wanna provoke him.

"Haha" you chuckled halfheartedly, more fake than anything. "Are you here to see me? Oh my, I feel like I'm about to be court."

You snorted, this time for real as you imagined this hilarious scenario. Haganezuka, liking you? To be perfectly honest, while he's certainly loyal to the village and it's inhabitants, he seemed rather neutral about anything besides his craft. "Just kidding-"

"Yes."

Huh?

HUH?!????!?

You thought to have misunderstand, but instead of correcting your joke Haganezuka balled his fists, as if bracing himself before repeating his declaration. It was now or never.

"Yes, Y/N, I am courting you."

[Next chapter]

[letiel]

Ywa Wasn't Invited - Destiny AU

The Tower hanger was one of the least professional places in the Vanguard’s “temporary” headquarters. The regulations were largely ignored so it had become a sort of spillover lounge for dying clubs and alien guests and the occasional ill-advised sporting contest. Not the sort of thing that one would expect in a place meant for repairing the means to interstellar travel. The only real rule that Guardians respected was first come, first serve and unless there was a reason to be in the City, there were always a few empty hangars for individual repairs or customization.

Ty’s ship was long overdue for a tune up. He didn’t think “functioning” should be the bear minimum but sometimes it was easy to forget that routine maintenance was a must, especially when he kept snoozing the reminder and ignoring the check engine light.

He was still in his armor from the waist down, mark set reverently aside, with only a tank top up top and a pair of heavy-duty work gloves to keep the oil off his hands. Dienekes was providing direction and diagnostics as Ty took a wrench to the inner workings of his ship, and from the outside probably looked ridiculous with just his legs dangling from the barely Titan sized hatch that he had crammed himself into.

Hunched as he was, it didn’t take much for him to smash his head into the ceramic interior when a seething voice hissed in his ear, “Would you prefer to be crushed in your own singularity or shall I just light you on fire instead?”

He banged his head and fell out of the ship. To his credit, Ty landed on his stumbly feet and kept a grip on the wrench in his hand while the other one nursed the forming bruise.

Ywa laughed.

The Warlock changed a lot and stayed the same over the hundred years that Ty had known her. Her look varied frequently, oft times a custom work of her own design flaunting some new power that she had puzzled out of the fabric of the universe, but her mischief, penchant for trouble, and a couple signature ticks kept Ywa recognizable to most anyone that was anyone. She was the oldest Guardian that anyone knew aside from perhaps Lord Saladin, had an obsession with cats and their curiosity, and loved the color red. Not for any reason, she just liked the color.

She also had an affection for Ty that he wasn’t sure he liked or not. In his early days as a Guardian, having a powerful Warlock as a friend was a delight, but the longer she spent happily cooped up behind city walls the more she leaned on him for odd favors. It was her unpredictability that made Ty decline her request to join the six-man fireteam to Europa, and looking at her now, he was extra sure that decision had been the right one.

She was glaring at him with her arms crossed against her chest as she floated in the air above him, upside down. Void energy lashed behind her like a tail, flicking in a display of mastery and irritation. While her long Warlock robes and glasses defied gravity, Ywa’s hair did not and reached for the ground. Ty assumed that was a personal decision to contribute to a more deranged and angry expression.

Briefly he considered throwing the wrench at her and making a run for it but he’d never make it.

Dienekes zoomed out of the hatch on the ship, looked between them, and zoomed back in. At least one of them was safe.

“Ywa-“

“Zavala TOLD me that it was YOUR call,” she grumbled.

“I wasn’t bringing three Warlocks.”

She seemed puzzled and the tail stilled. Ywa slowly walked in a circle with her head as a pivot point until she was upright once more and standing like a normal person a foot or so above the hangar floor. She was keeping herself exactly an inch taller than Ty, he realized after a moment.

Ywa stomped her foot, and it still made the sound of a boot on a steel floor despite the lack of physical contact. “WHICH Warlock was more qualified than I was?”

Ty scratched the back of his head with the wrench and, realizing he wasn’t in immediate danger, got back to work while they talked. “Opposite. A Kinderguardian named Evie.”

“Evie Kiku?”

He flashed her a confused look between reading numbers on the wing. “Yeah… do you know her?”

Ywa grinned and danced in place for exactly five tip-toe steps. “I’m the one who rejected her thesis.”

“Mean,” Ty grumbled half-heartedly and pulled on a couple levers to remove another hatch so he could check the inside of one of the wings.

The Warlock waved a hand dismissively and jumped into a cross-legged position without changing her height. “Not enough practical experience. The Praxic Order shouldn’t’ve let her write one without hands-on experimentation.”

“So, it’s a good thing she went with us then?”

Ywa frowned and then mumbled, “touché. …you should’ve left one of your boys.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Inseparable, hm?” she teased.

“Yep.”

“Then that wasn’t their names on that list of fireteams in the field right now? With a Warlock?”

Ty’s shoulders visibly slumped, and Ywa’s tail swished back and forth like a Golden Age clock. He didn’t answer and instead clambered into the wing enough to reach a cable that was in good condition but perhaps a little old. He ripped it out and tossed it at her. The debris went through her tail, dissolving it like smoke for a few seconds before it reformed and resumed its hypnotic gliding.

“Sore subject?” she prodded.

“I’m glad they’re branching out,” he said after a moment. Ty rolled his wrist and Dienekes materialized, quietly providing a replacement cable.

“You don’t sound convinced.”

“If you want gossip, you old hag, go chatter to the order about Kai.”

She tucked both her hands under her chin. “Oh? What about him?”

Ty put the part up into the ship and climbed after it. “He’s on a mission right now.” His voice echoed a little.

“Yawn.”

“With someone.”

“Listening.”

“Evie,” Ty grunted as he fell out of the ship again. He put the panel back in place.

“…against his will, yeah?”

“She’s not holding him at gunpoint if that’s what you’re asking.” Ty pulled a dirty rag out of his back pocket and wiped his face, smearing more oil across his forehead than he was able to remove.

“He asked?”

“He didn’t say no when she invited herself.”

“That’s not the same,” Ywa huffed, disappointed, but she caught herself after rolling the thought around. A little gust of wind puffed around her, and she smiled as pieces lined up. “It’s not nothing. I read your report from Europa and Neomuna, it seemed boring and routine.” Ty shrugged and Ywa narrowed her eyes. “Oh Ty. Ty Ty Ty, my favorite Sunbreaker, you wouldn’t have kept important PERSONAL details from the OFFICIAL report, would you? I would love to hear more about it over dinner.”

“Pass.”

She unfolded her legs and glided in close, giving herself another inch of height as she looped a finger around the chain for his dog tags to keep him from escaping. “So about lighting you on fire.”

“What time?” he sighed. Ty’s expression was caught in the intersection between deadpan and ‘ah yes, the usual shit’ annoyed.

“I’ll send for you at eight.”

“Can’t wait.”

[landofzero-archive]

Rouge&Ruby - The Circumstances of the Second Month 6

(Location: Staff dining hall)

Hiyori: (…… Woah. Jun-kun raised an unexpected objection.)

Nagisa: (…… Such a thing, it’s an unexpected development isn't it? This is the first time.)

Hiyori: (Let’s keep an eye on it. I’m curious as to how Ibara will react……)

Ibara: …… It’s exactly as I described. Their wishes aren’t something I can easily ignore.

Jun: I know that. I wouldn’t say anything either if you were enthusiastic about it.

Even with my lacking brain, I understand the circumstances Ibara explained.

But in reality, even though you should have a leg in with “those guys” you’re complaining like this, aren’t you?

Ibara has so much passion for Chocolat Fes…

Even if you extend your hand out through COMP to impress the upper management, you’ll be the one who bears the brunt of those greedy people, you know.

Ibara: …… Things like that are my role as deputy director.

Jun: As Ohiisan said, COMP was already finished when we completed shooting the promotional video.

I don’t know much about plans and schedules…… But I’m sure there’ll be more opportunities to spend the budget.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just send our love to all our fans on Valentine’s Day?

We’ll do our best for the sake of the feelings you poured into Chocolat Fes.

Then I’m sure Eden’s performance will be a good one. No, I’ll make it the best it can be.

If we make it the best performance possible, then I’m sure it’ll naturally have a good impact……

Um, that’s why……

Ibara: ………

Jun: The extra budget from COMP probably wasn’t there when you first started thinking about Chocolat Fes.

But because of it, it’ll have a positive impact on CosPro’s schools and the planning was left to Ibara.

Honestly, don’t you think it’s ridiculous?

Ibara: …… You’re out of line. Your remarks are being said for your own sake.

Jun: Just in case, I’ll check around.

Such a thing that can be done through the power of money…… No, it’s done through Ibara’s power……

I don’t know, I think it’s too good to be true……

Jun and Ibara: ………

Nagisa: (…… Jun surely has a lot to say. He’s working hard to come up with the words.)

Hiyori: (But he’s stumbling because he started talking before he could gather his thoughts.

He doesn’t want to say anything ill of Ibara, it’s frustrating to listen to……)

Nagisa: (…… That part too, Ibara must have been able to understand it. Compared to his usual tone, his words seem much more frustrated.)

Jun: …… I know there are circumstances and compromises I don’t understand.

But I listened to Ibara. There’s still some frustrating parts, but I trust Ibara’s way of doing things, and I thought it was good……

Only this time, a horizontal spear called COMP was inserted into things.

If it’s difficult it’s only going to give you a headache. I’m saying let’s compete with only your plan and our abilities.

And…… Valentine’s Day is an event filled with love and kindness.

That’s why I think there’s no need for speculation here.

Ibara: Filled with love……?

(For me, Valentine’s Day is a sales season— a competition. It’s a fierce battle where businesses clash with each other.

The phrase “an event filled with love and kindness” has no place there.

Even though I’ve been saying things like benevolence, fraternity, and so on a lot lately… Emotionally, it’s hard to understand—and then they throw it at me.)

…… How irritating.

Jun: Huh? Just now, what’d you say?

Ibara: I don’t know what kind of Valentine’s Day is “filled with love.”

It’s quicker and easier to spend the money wisely and make a good impression for ES and the upper management in the process than to understand such things.

Jun: But……!

Ibara: …… However, I’ve received your opinion. If I can’t even convince Jun then it’s an issue.

I don’t think it’ll help things if we keep exchanging words here— so, I’d like to ask for some space.

I will contact you later on. …… Excuse me.

Previous | Directory | Next

[xo-adeline]

Hihi!! May I join the Match Up Event? <3

I would like to choose Blue lock please for the fandom! (Apologies if my request is awkward since this is my first time.)

Description:

I prefer to be called Aer and my pronouns go by she/her.

My hobbies are Painting, baking and volleyball! Though, I like to do volleyball the most.

Hmm... For my likes-

I would say sweet foods! I do also tend to like flowers and hang out with my friends even if it's just a simple walk or just sitting together on the couch.

For my Dislikes...

I absolutely dislike being in dark quiet areas, and journal writing! I get too impatient with writing since my thoughts can't keep up.

I did the personality test 2 times to make sure and I got ENFJ and ENFP!

I'll try describing my personality ^^

I'm a mix between a yapper and listener, and I tend to get more energetic when I'm with people I know. I'm a bit of a overthinker but I'm completely honest in my opinions! It does get me panicking though if I feel like If what I said hurt the person I'm talking to.

I don't like to fight or get competitive a lot for myself, I just brush it off and continue on with my day. But I like to do petty revenge and do it passively ✨

I'm waiting for karma to happen type of person. (Though I will get aggressive if it's a continuous type of fighting since when I get irritated it's over. Literally.)

I'm a wary person and try to keep note of everything despite me being quite forgetful on basic stuff.

I'm quite good at making friends! Since I'm quite good at adjusting and adapting since I love acting in dramas.

My love language is a mix of Gift giving/acts of service and physical touch.

I have medium length brown hair and almond shaped brown eyes! ^^ my cheeks are a lil chubby and I stand around 5'4.

My aesthetic, I don't really have one TT I Tend to go on the Casual style and I wear more colourful outfits, so you barely see me wearing black. I like to go for mellow or pastel colours! I wear blue a lot too. (Turtle necks on top for me 🗣️ or big shirts with a nice looking print)

For extras hmm..

so I'm literally a person who goes head over heels once confirmed if they love me. ILL LITERALLY SPOIL THEM ✨

I also like to collect pins, and listen if they're so cute or cool. I just 🤺🤺

If there's anything I need to fix please do tell me since this is my first time! ^^

I think you'd look good with...

Bachira Meguru!

-> Starting off, y'all's hobbies match up really well! You both play sports, and he already has quite a bit of background in painting because of his mother! He loves being able to practice with you, even if you don't play the same sport. He'll try to teach you a little bit (if you're up for it) so you guys can play a 1 on 1, and in turn he'll learn your sport so he can play your sport with you as well. -> Loves being able to hang out with you, and even your friends once in a while! His favorite season is summer, which is when all the flowers are in bloom. So he'll take you to either places around town he knows where the flowers bloom so that you can see them, or in winter he'll try to find a indoor flower garden around the place so you're still able to enjoy them. -> Doesn't seem the type to love dark places either, but luckily when he has you around you're most of the time talking, so you never have to worry about it being super quiet! -> Overthinker x Never worried about things type relationship! He is also part yapper and part listener so he'll match up with you perfectly, he'll totally let you go on and on as long as at some point you'll also let him yap your ear off! -> Loves the petty revenge stuff, maybe won't outright say it, but he does think it's pretty funny when you just wait and Karma comes to bite that person in the ass -> Bachira probably met you due to the fact you were good at making friends! I mean you seem to be a very extroverted person and matched with the fact that you like a colorful style of outfits that drew him to you to start with! -> Loves the fact that you like gifting people things. It always makes him feel special when you give him something, no matter how small! It's always the thought that counts for him! Same with the acts of service, he doesn't always expect it, but he really does feel your love when you either help or do things for him, especially if he really doesn't wanna do them!

Other potential matchups - Hiori Yo and Isagi Yoichi

[sweetbillwriting]

This Is Bad, Billy

Part 5 - The Gray Building

Characters: AU Bill Skarsgård, here called Billy. He's inspired by real life Bill but also the character Clark Olofsson in the Netflix series Clark. AU Landon Liboiron.

Setting: This story is set in the 60s L.A, New York, and a smaller town close to L.A.

Warnings: 18+, historical preferences, mental health problems, mental illness, abuse.

Why did I invite him? Why did I think it was a good idea to take the car with him? Hang out with him alone for two days?

Landon sat next to me and played on his harmonica. He had done so for several hours after his nap. Before his nap he had played on his ukulele.

"Landon? Landon?" I said to make him stop playing. It was soon his turn to drive and I wanted to do something to make the time go faster. He stopped playing and looked at me with tired eyes.

"How long have you known Billy?"

"Ehh… Like twelve years?"

I looked at him a bit shocked. I didn't know why, but I didn't think they had been friends for such a long time. Landon smirked at me, he probably saw what I was thinking.

"He had just been in America for like six months when we got to know each other. Being extras in a movie together."

I glanced at him quickly while he looked out from the window.

"How was he then,” I asked carefully. “Did he miss Sweden?"

"Hell no!" Landon laughed. "And he was cocky. Didn't take any shit."

I furrowed my brows, sure Billy was a fighter, probably a bit cocky when I wasn't around but hearing it from Landon it sounded like he was untameable.

“Can't you tell me more?" I asked with caution. Landon smirked at me and hit his harmonica against his thigh.

"I thought you two had an amazing love affair?"

I gave him an irritated look.

"We did! But there were so many other things that happened that we never had time to talk about our background!"

"Or you were just a groupie? Maybe I shouldn't let you meet him? Maybe you're dangerous?" He joked and gave me a teasing smile but I wasn't amused. He didn't know anything about Billy and I’s relationship. Landon gave me a friendly smile when he realized I took offense.

"Sweden wasn't fun for him either. Sweden is a fucked up country," he said, taking out a cigarette from the pocket on his shirt.

"How?" I just knew what Daniel had told me and then it sounded like the socialist democratic dream.

"We can say they don't like people that are different. They had more contact with Germany in the war than they want to confess. In a perfect country there isn't a place for criminals and sick people."

I swallowed hard because I didn't know Sweden was like that.

"It's better now, the young don't tolerate it but when Bill lived there… They wanted to sterilize him."

I reacted in shock and was afraid I would lose control over the car.

"Why? Why? I mean… Billy isn't…"

"His whole family is a bit wild but the police started to watch him. That was when he took the boat to America."

I sat quietly for a while. It was heavy stuff. Private stuff.

"What does he think about you talking about this?"

Landon made a sound of indifference.

"I don't think he cares, he has been locked in a looney bin for ages and you obviously think he's charming even if he has hundreds of diagnoses."

I nodded and thought about a question I had thought earlier but was too private to ask.

"Has he been with many girls?"

"Like slept with them? Hundreds. Threesome, foursome, oral, anal…"

"Stop, stop, stop! I don't want to hear that!" I interrupted him.

"You asked!" He said with a laugh.

"No! I didn't ask what he did to them!"

I looked out with a pissed expression. I really didn't want to know. Billy was still the most exciting lover I have had and I wanted to believe the lovemaking with me was special. Landon made me feel unspecial and mediocre.

We sat quietly for a while until Landon started to play his harmonica again.

"Hey! Stop playing!" I said annoyed and hit his arm. He continued to play with a teasing gaze.

"Tell me more about Billy instead!" I said to make him stop playing but also because I wanted to know more. Landon stopped playing with a sigh and looked at me, waiting for a question.

Landon told me little by little about Billy while we drove to New York. About his bohemian Swedish family, his crimes in Sweden, mostly car thefts and drunken fights. He told me about Billy's love for food, spirits and girls. About the fiance he had when he was 23.

She was rich and beautiful, only nineteen but they broke up the day he got locked up in a mental hospital. They locked him in after he had been in a drunken fight with a director's son and then finding out about his background in Sweden. They also claimed they had victims saying he acted strangely while filming, probably had the director told them so. After that he was going in and out from different institutions. A short while he was even in prison but his manager succeeded to hush everything down.

Billy did sound at all like the guy I've met and I was mostly impressed that he was so collected after everything that had happened to him. Most would have had a breakdown from everything he had been through instead Billy seemed to be the most sane person I've heard of.

When we were almost in New York Landon turned towards me. He sat behind the steering wheel now while I had just woken up next to him. My neck was sore and I felt uncomfortable when I realized I smelled of sweat.

"It was your father, right? That had him locked up for good?"

I looked down at my hands, I wanted to denying my own part in the story but it was my father who had accused him of raping me.

Landon gave me a look but probably understood why I behaved like I did.

"Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you protest?" I heard in his voice he was forced to control his anger. Landon wasn't the person to hold a grudge against someone but there was anger towards me he hadn't shown before.

I just sat with my head low and felt my chest hurt and how a burning feeling grew in my throat. It wasn't me you should feel sorry for. There weren't any sympathies to give, I knew that but still I felt like Landon didn't need to ask me that.

"Huh?" He said with even more annoyance. If he could he would stare me out but was obligated to look at the road.

"You will not understand…" I swallowed my tears back.

"No! I don't understand! And now you think you saving him will make up for that? Fucking hell, like yeah! You owe him to do that but you owe him so much fucking more!"

I laid my hands over my face and cried. I didn't want to cry because that would make Landon believe that I just felt he was mean but I couldn't stop it.

Landon sighed and scratched his scalp and down to his beard.

"Do you want him? Do you want him romantically?" He asked calmly and it made me take my hands away from my face. I looked at him with red eyes and wet cheeks and nodded carefully. Landon nodded as an answer but didn't say anything else. I could only guess what he thought of me but I hoped he could understand I would fight hard for Billy.

×××

When in New York we asked around to find the way to the mental institution. There weren't a lot of people who knew where it was and most of the people gave us strange looks. Maybe they believed Landon would be admitted, I couldn't believe they thought that about me. Even though I have been dressed in the same dress since we started the trip I was meticulous with my makeup and hair. I had learned in my years as a model that everything was easier for you if you looked clean and healthy. Even better if you were good looking. Landon was good looking but didn't really look that clean.

After many questions and a greasy burger we had finally found the institution. It was a big gray stone building with fences located on the outskirts of the city. It looked sad even if there actually were patients outside who smiled. They didn't look at all as sick as the ones who had been at the ward I had worked at and I wondered if any of them were sick for real or were just being punished for not being able to fit into society. A nurse in a white dress and blue cardigan looked at us when we walked up to the gate but lowered her gaze again like she wanted to pretend she didn't see us.

"Hello little lady?!" Shouted Landon towards her and I hushed him down in panic. It was important to act collected, like they could trust us.

"Eh, excuse me? We would like to talk to someone in charge?" I said with a loud but polite voice. The nurse looked at me but then looked towards another nurse who sat on a bench with an old man. I hadn't noticed her before but she looked up at us with a strict face and stood up with a sigh.

"Now you let me talk, okay?" I said with a low voice to Landon who nodded. He also probably had understood it was better that I spoke. I could feel how the nurse looked at us, Landon's jeans, my mini skirt. We probably didn't look like people she wanted to talk to. She walked up to us without giving us a smile.

"Yes?"

She was in her late forties but looked older because of her unmodern updo and tired expression.

"Are you in charge here? We want to talk with someone in charge?" I tried to sound like I was a person of importance but the woman just looked at me with a hard gaze.

"What is it about?"

"One of your patients. I have new information that I think is important for you to know."

"Who?"

"Mr. Skarsgård."

Her tired face changed when I said his name but I couldn't say how, only that her eyes looked bigger. She was quiet for a few seconds and looked down at her shoes. She seemed to have lost some of that strictness after I had said his name.

"Come with me, we will see if the chief is here."

She locked the gate behind us and Landon gave me a triumphant expression but I didn't feel as sure. There was something strange with how the nurse had reacted to Billy's name.

We walked up the pavement to the building behind the nurse, discreetly I looked at the patients outside. It was just men, men of different ages but all of them looked healthy and sane. Or at least it looked like it with an unaided eye. I walked closely to Landon to be on the safe side.

The nurse took us through gray but bright corridors. We could hear sounds but it was hard to say if it was loud voices of happiness or anger. It sounded like it could be a fight.

"It's just guys here?" Landon asked as he looked around.

"You’re wondering if there are just male patients here? That's correct. All of them are here because they have a mental illness but also have committed a crime."

The nurse sounded authoritative and walked fast through the corridors. It felt like she wanted to make herself more important than she actually was.

She locked up a door and then one more after a short corridor. Then she walked up to a door and carefully knocked. It looked like her whole demeanor had changed while standing in front of the wooden door. I looked around the room we were in. To the left stood a desk and a typewriter, probably for a secretary but the chair stood empty. When my gaze left the desk I saw a man at the door. He was dressed in a white doctor's jacket and looked neatly dressed underneath. He reminded me of Humphrey Bogart and I wondered which one of his characters would this doctor remind me of.

"They want to talk to you about Bill Skarsgård," said the nurse with a low voice, like she was excusing herself for her existence. Humphrey Bogart looked at us and stopped with his eyes on my legs.

"You mean the rapist?" He said shortly as he played with his gray tie.

The nurse nodded a little and looked down at the ground.

"Or should I say… The lover?" He said and smirked. The nurse continued to look down at her feet then she turned around and walked away without looking at us. Landon looked after her then at me with raised brows. I knew what he was thinking. I thought the same but with other emotions. One more nurse.

"Come in, come in. Let us talk about Mr. Casanova," said the doctor jokingly and sat down behind his desk. He pointed towards the chair in front of him to Landon but Landon made a move towards me to say that I could sit down so I did with wobbly legs.

"My name is Joan Woods. I think you can find that name in your journal for Billy, I mean Bill." I really tried to sound self-assured but calm. Landon stood next to me and I was both annoyed but also comforted.

"Never heard that name," said the doctor and continued to play with his tie. I cleared my throat and read the sign in front of him. Dr. Coltrane.

"Dr. Coltrane, can you maybe read his journal?"

The doctor sighed like a bored child and stood up from his chair and moved to the cabinet on the left side of his desk. With a bored expression he took out a journal and started to read it standing up. His bored expression morphed slowly to a confused one and he dragged his hand over his mouth and jaw over and over.

"The victim…" he said to himself but I chose to answer it anyway.

"I was never a victim. My dad made that up."

The doctor looked up at me and yet again, my legs.

"You're saying…" he said with furrowed brows.

"That he had consent. Yes. I wanted to… be close to him." I felt my cheeks heat up but I wanted to sound determined even if I obviously felt ashamed talking about my lovemaking with Billy. I didn't look at Landon but I heard him exhale deeply. The doctor sat down by his desk again and looked through the journal.

"I think you should get a lawyer in that case. I can't just let him out," said the doctor with a softer voice, it actually sounded like he maybe believed us.

I nodded and tried to come up with how to solve it all.

"Can we see him? Bill I mean?" Landon suddenly asked. I looked up at him. He looked hopeful but nervous.

"I'm afraid not… He has electroconvulsive therapy today. Maybe he didn't rape you but Mr. Skarsgård still has his problems…" It sounded like the doctor wanted to defend their treatments. Landon and I looked at each other and took in what the doctor said. What kind of treatment had he gotten over the years he had been locked in?

×××

Landon and I sat on the hood of the car. Neither of us said anything and instead had an inner conversation with ourselves. What was the next step?

A lawyer. After that? Contact a judge. Present my evidence that my father had lied. It wouldn't be easy. I was a twenty six year old model while my father was a man, a doctor.

"Do you have money for a lawyer?" Asked Landon carefully. I sighed and looked down at my feet. One more problem.

"You know, Billy has money. I don't know where but he has money."

I gave him a look and he looked back with the same thinking expression.

"So we must talk with Billy first? What if they don't let us?"

"They will. I read a sign in the doctor's office and they see themselves as a new sort of institution where health and social interaction is important. They even have real therapy."

I nodded a little and felt a glimmer of hope.

"Maybe they are good to Billy?"

Landon hadn't time to answer because a man next to us cleared his throat. I couldn't believe my eyes when an older but healthy looking Samuel smiled towards us.

"I wondered when you would come and save him," he said to me and walked up to us. He laid a hand on my shoulder but I hugged him instead. He had helped Billy before, maybe he would do it again.

"What are you doing here?" I said accordingly and to my surprise Landon hugged him too.

"Samuel, buddy," he said and hugged his shoulders. Samuel smiled warmly towards us both and looked towards the institution.

"I work here. I moved to be close to my children and by accident I started to work at the same place Billy had moved to."

I nodded happily and heard Landon say a low "awesome".

"Is it good here? Is it a good place?"

"It's better than the one you work at. In a way… He has more freedom."

"But in general?" Asked Landon.

"It is good for him. Just that some of the doctor's are evil men."

I swallowed hard and didn't dare to ask further but Landon did.

"They do it while he is awake… Otherwise he seems to have less anxiety."

"Who fucking cares? Everyone has anxiety!" Landon exclaimed but Samuel just gave him a fatherly look.

"Billy has his problems. He isn't completely mentally stable but he shouldn't need to be locked in for it. It isn't such a problem."

I bit my lip and crossed my arms. I wanted to ask more but Landon asked the same question I had.

"What kind of problems?"

"Anxiety, he is paranoid, imagining things, can't control his impulses, shows lack of understanding for others feelings. But he is a good man. A really good man." Samuel said it with a big smile like he wasn't worried but to me it sounded like a bonafide mental patient. For a few seconds I felt that we should turn back around, that Billy should be at the mental hospital but Samuel's words made me think differently. Samuel, who had worked as a caretaker for a long time didn't think Bill should be there, he just thought he was a great man.

"Is it worth trying to get him out?" I asked Samuel and looked towards the big building.

"Absolutely. I can say hello to him, from you."

"Can you say that we need money for a lawyer? I know he has money," said Landon excitedly. Samuel nodded slowly in deep thoughts. He was quiet a bit too long that made me start to worry.

"I can help you with that. If Billy says yes. I know where his money is."

×××

After another night sleeping in the car we met Samuel the next day with a thick pile of cash. I had never seen so much money at the same time and wondered where Samuel had it. Or was it hidden somewhere else?

We walked New York's streets until we found a lawyer's office and got a lawyer with the unfortunate name of Tom Thomas. He was tall and skinny and looked through my evidence.

"Oh, this will not be hard to win. Your words will absolutely have people interested but the other evidence will make them believe you. How did you get this?"

"It wasn't me, it was my mother. She sent it to me," I said with a hammering heart. This would maybe affect my father's life forever but I couldn't think about that when an innocent man, my first life, was imprisoned because of his lies.

"I will contact a judge and present it to him, if you don't want a trial to get compensation for his time imprisoned. Landon shook his head.

"Just solve it fast."

"How long have you had those papers?" Landon asked while we were walking towards the car. He still had the same clothes on as he had when we left L.A. but I had changed and freshened up. I didn't think the lawyer would take me seriously if I smelled like sweat and fried chicken.

"Like a year. I didn't know what to do with it until now, when my husband wanted to go to L.A. I felt forced."

Landon didn't say anything, he probably thought that I should have done something sooner but it was my dad, it wasn't that easy.

"Why did your mother do it?"

I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at my baby blue flats.

"She has always been a good person. Always wanted to do the right thing but with a husband that cared more about success…" I didn't say more, I didn't know how to phrase it and Landon probably understood anyway.

When we sat in the car Landon turned to me with furrowed brows.

"How do you think Samuel got that money?"

I looked at my makeup in the rearview mirror and thought about his question.

"They are friends?"

"So close friends? So close friends he would give his money to him?"

"Are you accusing Samuel of something?” I became upset and turned to him.

"No! I just… I don't know, it feels like Samuel didn't tell us everything."

×××

We met Samuel in the evening outside of the institution. He had just ended his shift and would take his pickup home to Brooklyn. He walked slowly towards his car, playing with his keys but didn't say anything to us. Just as Landon I started to have a bad feeling and in the darkness it felt even more worrying.

"I think you can meet him tomorrow. I take him out for a walk after lunch, so be here then. But he is… Fuzzy in his head. He has lost some memories of his treatment." Samuel said when he had unlocked his car. Me and Landon nodded a little.

"Is there something we need to know?" Landon was obviously trying to get him to talk, to tell us something he didn't want us to know. Samuel shrugged his shoulders and sat down inside the car.

"I think Billy will tell you everything you need to know."

"Do you think there’s anything more we should do? Something we should bring to him tomorrow," I asked and scratched my back, the polyester my yellow dress was made of itched against my skin.

"Nah, just talk with that judge and get him his freedom."

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