#it's not too terribly bad right now but like

[dekuneho]

needy ☆ ( prohero!katsuki x fem!reader ) mdni | 18+ — katsuki's kink is probably you asking for it; katsuki has a filthy mouth im sorryyy 1.7k

You're usually not the first to initiate this. Sex. Katsuki doesn't worry about failing to get what he wants, not like how you are right now. He's vociferous — "Can I fuck you, baby?" and you'd melt against him so easily because you fell for Bakugou Katsuki for that reason.

You can't do that. You don't know how to approach him with the same effortlessness and not get swallowed up whole by the urge to flee before you can even get a word out. It's not for the fear of rejection but for how bare you'd be asking for it. Sex.

Katsuki, of course, notices your restlessness for the entire evening. He doesn't say anything about it at first, not even while you eat together and you can't seem to meet him in the eyes, or how you don't join him in the shower unlike always, or even how you sit on the edge of the bed like there's steam blowing out your ears.

"Spit it out," Katsuki says, his back pressed against the headboard. "Look at me."

You clutch at your chest, bringing attention to the unsteady thumping of your heartbeat. You rip your gaze off the floor and instead gravitate to Katsuki's biceps bulging from the press against his chest.

You swallow a pathetic noise, reminded of what exactly you've been needing from your boyfriend.

You tear your eyes away from his arms and meet an arched, pale eyebrow. Assessing. How is this so hard? You can't even bring yourself to choke out a "pleasefuckme" because Katsuki makes you feel like some freshman asking for some hand-holding in the hallway.

It's embarrassing to be years in a relationship with Katsuki, but you're so attracted to him that asking to be fucked feels the same as asking him out.

It's Katsuki's expression that cracks the fragile atmosphere. He has his brows pinched in a crease that wrinkles his forehead. His face doesn't betray anything else, but you're well-versed in Katsuki to understand that he is just as nervous as you are. Anxious.

"It's nothing bad," you assure him, guilt aching in your chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ignore you."

Katsuki eases just an inch. He clicks his tongue and looks away. "Could've sworn otherwise."

As terrible as that sounds, how Katsuki is just as affected as you are invertedly calms you down. Whatever happens, you know Katsuki will be honest with you.

Clinging onto the last shred of your dignity, you crawl over pillows and settle on Katsuki's lap. Hovering.

His confusion overtakes his worry, hands instinctively reaching out to your waist. "What—"

"Katsuki," you begin, and his breathing halts in anticipation. Tentatively, barely there, you roll your hips over his, fluttering in delight when his cock swells with growing interest, and you can feel it, right there, separated by layers—

"Fuck," he hisses through his teeth, heated hands moving to your ass. "You..."

"Please," it tumbles out your mouth so nicely. "I've been thinking about it a lot lately." Shame burns on your cheeks, watching as his dick stirs. Intrigued. "And you haven't been — giving it. Lately."

"That what it is?" he asks quietly, almost in disbelief. "Needed me to fill you up?"

There's no better way to say it.

When you look up from where you two meet, Katsuki's pupils have dilated so wide that there's barely a trace of red. It speaks of a promise: I'll give it to you. Air closes around your throat, thighs twitching. He feels it, too.

"Been hurtin', weren't you?" he says, sounding untamed as he breathes it over your ear, inciting a full-body shiver. "Been needin' it bad? M'sorry. Didn't mean to neglect you, sweetheart."

"Katsuki," you gasp brokenly.

"Mm." He kisses your jaw, sucks on it, hands catching on the drawstring of your sweatpants, pulls on it. You lift your thighs. Soon enough, you're fully bare waist-down. "So fuckin' hot, asking for me to fuck you like that. Shit, I'm gonna be dreamin' about that for months."

He proves his interest by grinding up your thigh. You whine, feeling it from the back of your throat. You need him so badly. You barely notice that you're still rubbing yourself against him until there's a wet patch over his sweatpants.

"Hold still, sweetheart."

Katsuki dips a finger where you're unsurprisingly wet. He rubs where he knows you're sensitive the most, the slick of your arousal making the friction so good. Your back arches and Katsuki's cooing, coaxing each noise out with his fingers and the filth from his mouth.

"You're already wet," he says, pupils as dark as his voice.

"Don't tease," you manage to choke out, gripping the front of his shirt. "I already — ah — prepped myself. I needed you to fuck me last week."

Katsuki stills, his eyes flicking from your cunt to your needy expression, then curses under his breath.

"Fuck, fuck," he says. "Fuck you. You have no idea how hard it'll be to go out on patrol when I'm thinkin' about you talkin' dirty like that."

Embarrassment floods your entire body. "Don't say it like that, asshole. And focus on your patrol! Don't let your dick distract you from the villains!"

Katsuki shuts you up by sliding the roughness of his palm over your heat, pulling a whimper that makes him grin. "They're the distraction. Never you. Thinkin' about you all the time — this, all the time."

"Pervert," you say, but you're moving your hips along his hand.

Katsuki laughs once, pulling you off his hips, only for him to pull his sweatpants down by his knees. "Who was the one beggin' for it?"

You can't bring yourself to think of something witty. The sight of him hard in front of you has you robbed of incoherent thought.

Katsuki knows it. He's seen that look on your face time and time again — know only he can do that to you. "Let me make it up to you, yeah? Let me fill you up the way you'd been cravin'."

He's so embarrassing with that mouth. It's a wonder why you're whining louder, getting wetter.

"You want it," Katsuki says, leaning back against the headboard. "Baby, you wanted this, didn't you? Take what you want from me."

You may be the one on top of him, but you've never felt all the more embarrassed, giving him a full view of how wet you are for him just by thinking about it. It drips. Yet you find yourself too needy to complain, not wanting to waste the opportunity he's giving.

"Okay," you say, lifting your hips up enough for him to watch yourself lining up above him.

And does he watch, eyes wild. You may be the one to initiate this, but he's the one looking desperate for it. Like he can't bring himself to wait a second longer before burying himself in you. He's big. You might've stretched yourself open, yet it'd take a while for you to accommodate his size again after days without it. So you only take him in inch by inch, impressed by how Katsuki screws his eyes shut, keeping himself from moving.

"Fuck," you both say in tandem.

You shudder, feeling so full in a way you've been itching for. You can barely resist your eyes rolling to the back of your head when you feel him twitch inside you. Katsuki's not fairing any better, fingers digging in your hips, some noise close to a whine by the back of his throat. The thought of him leaving marks when you've been so bare of it for too long has you clenching around him. He groans, unable to help himself from thrusting up. You share a gasp.

You tremble, feeling boneless and restless simultaneously. "Katsuki. Katsuki—”

You're not entirely sure what you're trying to say, only that Katsuki understands.

"I know," he says, sounding just as winded. "Wanted it, too, you don't even know."

At his muttering, you find yourself fucking against him, chasing the pleasure his words are giving you. You missed this badly. Nights when he had evening patrol and you were achingly empty were the worst; you couldn't complain, but you've wanted to hide Katsuki from the world and keep him to you for too long. Your wrists ache at the reminder — they were never as good as this.

Your answering moan is loud in your mouth, hips gaining speed. He reaches far deeper than you can even try. He knows it.

"Yeah? Your fingers not enough, ain't it?" Katsuki says, rolling his hips up when you slam down, gaze hot as you tremble above him. "Look at you, baby. So wet and hot. You're making a mess. Needed it that bad?"

"Yes. Please, please," you can only say. You feel yourself losing strength as your climax slowly reaches for you.

"Fuck," he exhales, and thankfully uses those years of upper body strength training to help you ride him — where it nearly feels as if you're barely exerting any effort. Sweat trails down his jaw, his eyes ravaging the sight of you swallowing him up every thrust. "You — needed me to fill you up like this, huh?"

"Katsuki, I—” You want to look away, shame filling your insides. It's unfair that Katsuki is so attractive that just looking at him makes you surrender so easily. "I think I'm close. Katsuki, I can't—"

"Hah," Katsuki twitches, breath seizing. "Yeah? You gonna give it t'me, baby? Come on. Know you can. Show me how good I make you feel."

Tears well up in your eyes. This position has him reaching so deep inside that after this, you know you'll miss how you can feel him in there, like he's branding himself in your body, staking a claim where no one else can see. But they'd know. On the bruises on your hips, the marks all over your neck, how you're chanting Katsuki's name and—

Katsuki kisses you deeply when you spill, his own release following along like just seeing you gets him every time. You moan fully in his mouth, always surrendering.

"Thank you," you sigh against him.

Katsuki snorts, massaging shapes into the sides of your hips. "You know I'll always want it more than you. Don't gotta thank me for that."

[eternal-evergreens]

Hello! I stumbled across your post “jjk men as yandere” and I really enjoy both your thoughts and writing style.

I would truly appreciate if you wrote any scenario involving yandere Geto with reader (sorcerer).

Thank you if you even consider writing it<3

A/N Thanks so much!!

｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+*⁠.⁠✧"Meet Cute" ｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+*⁠.⁠✧

Post format: Drabble

Pairing: Yandere!Suguru Geto x GN!Curse user!Reader

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: Reader is morally bankrupt, mentions of eugenics/genocide, reader is a little too into WWII, minor age gap, super greedy reader

"You're like a modern-day Hitler, huh?"

"...What?" Geto looked at you with wide eyes, putting down his to-go cup to better gape at you.

"Well, you are advocating for mass genocide and literal eugenics," you say, taking an unbothered sip of your own coffee. (Geto recommended the place. Apparently, his kids like the hot chocolate there. You'll have to ask him for the name of the place later.) "So, yeah, you're like Hitler."

Geto appears to be having a crisis of some sort. Just sort of staring down at his lap with an unreadable look on his face. You watch with amusement. This kid must be a newbie, you think—not that you're much older than him, but you at least have seniority on this.

"What, are you getting cold feet? You've already killed people, you know. If you want to make it in this career, you're gonna have to get real comfortable being compared to some pretty terrible things."

"I'm used to being called terrible things, it's just—"

"Oh, what? Like monster?" Geto says nothing, and you sigh, reclining back in your chair. (Damn, this cult has some nice shit. You wonder if you can sneak the couch out without anyone noticing?) "So unoriginal. Anyway keep your chin up. It's actually a good thing. Hitler already exists, so you can steal his ideas."

"Weren't you just complaining about something being unoriginal?" You wave your hand dismissively.

"That was then, this is now. Anyway what do you think? Hitler industrialized murder. You can do the same—if you can get the right ingredients."

"You're talking about power, right?"

"Pretty much. You'll need hands and money. And a lot of both. With that in mind, this cult is actually a perfect setup. But putting that aside," you take another sip of your drink. Empty. Damn it. "You didn't call me here just so I could give you my professional opinion, did you?"

Geto smiles. "I hear you'll do anything for money."

"I don't come cheap, you know."

"That's not a problem," he snaps his fingers, and someone, a "monkey" from the looks of it, walks in, clearly struggling with the weight of whatever's in that giant briefcase. You suppress a smile as it's placed on the table and opened. Hundreds, no, thousands of ¥10,000 notes line the briefcase from top to bottom. You nearly salivate from just looking at it. Quickly, you check for any signs of deceit, of counterfeits, empty space, or otherwise. You can't find anything.

"You'll find this briefcase contains over one billion yen." Geto says, gesturing for his...indentured servant to close the case. How many bills is that? It's gotta be over a million. You're half tempted to take the money and run, but years of experience have taught you not to underestimate guys carrying this much cash. "I trust this is sufficient?"

"That depends on the job," you say, crossing your arms. "If you want me to take out Satoru Gojo, you'll need to multiply it a hundredfold before I even consider it."

"It's nothing that severe," he says, wearing the smile of a polished businessman. You sit up a little straighter. Maybe you were wrong about this guy being an amateur. Whatever he wants you to do, it's bad news. You feel excitement tingling in your veins. Will he ask you to take out a city? A country? Considering the scale of his plans, you wouldn't be surprised if he wanted you to take out a continent... you'd need a bit more to do something like that, though.

"I want you to marry me."

You snort, then laugh. You laugh for a very long time, even holding your stomach as you bend over in your seat. If this was a ploy to make you let your guard down long enough to kill you, it was smart. Still, you wouldn't go down that easily. You're more than confident enough in your ability to defend yourself, even in such a hilarious encounter.

Finally, the laughter dies down, and you wipe a tear from your eye. You look up at Geto's face, only for him to look back at you oddly serious. "No way..." you murmur, "are you for real?"

"I'm afraid I am," he says. Your smile drops. How annoying. What's this guy even want from you, huh?

"So, what, that money's a dowry?"

"More like a bribe."

"Uh-uh. No way. Not happening. I can't take a job like that."

"You're not even going to ask what's in it for me?"

"Not interested," you say, grabbing your bag and standing.

"I think I ought to tell you anyway," he says, throwing a sack onto the table. A stack of yen falls out, and you eye it with a raised eyebrow. "That's my payment for listening," he says. "¥200,000."

You inspect the fallen stack. Once again, it's real. He's either crazy or plotting something, and you have a hunch it's the latter. You sit back down. Whatever he's thinking, it's definitely bad news. Even so, you need more information to properly deal with it.

"I've heard you're the sole caretaker of four siblings." He shouldn't know that, but you decide not to derail the conversation by asking. "As you know, I've got two little girls of my own."

"So, what? You need a babysitter?"

"Precisely."

"Okay, but why marriage? Surely you could just hire me as a nanny and be done with it?"

"The girls don't trust strangers easily. I already told them that I had a Fiance out of town who'd be coming back soon. Just play along with it and you'll be compensated accordingly." "For how long?"

"Just until they turn eighteen."

"You'll have to pay me more." "What I showed you earlier was just a down payment; you'll also get an annual salary of fifteen million."

"Make it twenty."

"How's forty?" he says. You ponder over it for a moment. Judging from how you saw things earlier, it seems like he does genuinely love those kids. He's young and not afraid of spending, which would make you worry about the sustainability of the job, but cults are famous for making tons of cash.

"How old are they?"

"Six." So, twelve years. Counting the initial (over) one billion, the listening fee of two hundred thousand, and the annual salary times twelve, you'll be paid over ¥1,480,200,000. That's more than enough to send your siblings to college, as well as set them up for life.

"Deal," you say, reaching your hand out to shake. You'd ask why he doesn't just hire someone more qualified, but you think that speech on 'monkeys' he gave you answers the question.

"It's getting late," he says, shaking your hand. "How about I take you to dinner?"

"Why?"

"My girls are smart. They'll realize something's up if we don't know anything about each other," he says, standing.

"This isn't coming out of my salary, right?" Geto, or, you suppose you should be calling him Suguru, now, chuckles.

"I'm not nearly that stingy," he says. He holds out his arm to escort you, and you take it. "I'll need your ring size, too."

Of course, he already knows it. That, and so much more. After all, this may be your first time meeting him, but he's already met you plenty of times.

"Sure, but I'm not paying. Also, if you get me an ugly one I'm selling it."

"We'll go together, then." For some reason, the smile on his face seems a little too genuine to be meant for someone he's only just met, but you pay it no mind. Money is money, after all.

"Oh, what about living arrangements?"

"You and your siblings will live here," he says. "You'll have to sleep in the same bed as me, I'm afraid. Just to keep up the illusion."

"Do I get a bonus for that?"

"You're hurting my feelings," he says.

[hunnyswift]

pogue!reader x dealer!rafe headcanons

cw: profanity , use of drugs / drug abuse , sexual innuendos , abusive household

18+ minors dni

◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟

♡ dealer!rafe knew who you were before you both met ; you met him through barry and did not know who he was until barry explained he was country club and then you recognized him. this was season 2 rafe in my head

♡ dealer!rafe is the one who’s pining harder in this situation forrrr sure. he sees a beautiful girl who has it rough and is pushing through — he wished people saw him like that

♡ you did. once you started hanging out with rafe and barry more , it moved to one on one’s and him meeting your best (only) friend

♡ you live in the trailer park , right across from barry, and that just meant you started smoking at an early age

♡ you live with your mother , little brother , and dog. your mother was terrible ; she was absent unless she needed something from you , she ignored you , she refused to accept that your little brother was gay , she hardly spent the time to stock the kitchen for your family , and she always said how much she regretted having you.

♡ dealer!rafe was one of the few people that you spoke about your mother with — one too many late night smoke sessions and you were both confiding in each other and confessing things you never had before

♡ you end up dating rafe for awhile the majority of season 2 and it was really good up until the end when you found out he hooked up with some kook girl at a party

♡ “it’s not my fault you don’t fuck me!” that was rafe’s excuse when you flipped out on him. “do you not understand that maybe i don’t want to lose my virginity to an asshole that fucks everything? no wonder i didn’t fuck you , dude!” you were both coked out , but those were the last words you said to him

♡ you didn’t see him again except for in passing at barry’s ( who became your plug once again )

♡ dealer!rafe is the one trying to talk to you every time and you always brush him off

♡ it’s when you had nowhere to go on a particularly bad night at home with your mother. barry was out of town , your best friend was visiting her cousins , and you had no one. so you called him

♡ dealer!rafe was in the middle of throwing a party , selling his newest product when he got the call. he saw your number flash across the screen. he didn’t hesitate to pick up , listen to what you said , and shut down his own party despite it only being around midnight

♡ as soon as everyone was gone , he was speeding to the trailer park to pick you and your brother up

♡ he always said “we take care of our own,” whenever you apologized for asking for help

that’s all for now <3 but i wanna get insight to how you all see dealer!rafe too , so send me some ideas! i def get inspiration from lola the movie for reader here

[mvmnbnv]

Interesting that vis bio changed after arcane and now has this instead of her just wanting to catch jinx and beat the shit out of her.

Now I'm theorizing on how this could happen. Jinx is wanted for a lot of terrible things so it'd be right to want to turn her in. But at the same time, there's also a theme I wanna bring up in vis promo poster

"Its too late to point the finger now"

Judging by the fight we see in the trailer and vi saying that her sister is gone, vi does try to capture her and is definitely angry with her for what she's done considering theyre literally fighting atp. But another theme in arcane this season is forgiveness, and the big question is can a monster be forgiven.

Jinx is literally looking out for her here, apparently even having tears in her eyes seeing vi in this state. So if jinx is the one that helps her, that could open the door to the theme of forgiveness and redemption. Especially considering this is one of vis darkest times.

But what's any of that shit have to do with pointing fingers??? Glad u asked ma boi

Once again judging by the trailer it seems like one, Cait is working with ambessa, two martial law has gone into effect, and three, ambessa and noxus turn on piltover at some point. Cait has been working with an expansionist leader and it looks like it could have backfired at some point. Everyone has done something wrong atp, that's even alluded to in the caption on Arcane France's promo of vis poster

Jinx is possibly redeeming herself while cait is possibly becoming an oppressor. Vi can hardly point fingers at jinx atp. Which brings me to my final point

This is definitely an act 3 vi. Coming back in different attire and with her badge, joining the fight against noxus with ekko from the looks of it. Vi and ekko probably have to save Piltover from caitlyns mistake of working with ambessa (and considering arcane is a backstory on how each character got to where they are, this might be vis entrance into becoming THE Piltover enforcer. Piltovers protector), and maybe out of guilt cait realizes that she herself can't point fingers at jinx when she let things get this bad, so she drops her vendetta against jinx at vis request and vi is left with the task of trying to help jinx, whatever that may look like. Maybe it's something discussed between them in private since it is still vis job to capture her, but maybe cait gives her some leeway after everything that's happened and vi just tries to keep jinx out of trouble.

[cherryxblossxms]

🔞 Wicked!Keith tempting you in, making you believe he'll let you be in charge this time as he has you straddle his lap at your own pace. And it's not like he hasn't done this before; he's helped you gain confidence, learn how to ride him, how to leash him and make him yours. Sometimes it's comforting for him, knowing you want him so badly, and he encourages you to explore whatever it is you desire.

But not today. And perhaps he did originally intend to hand you the reins, give himself over to you so he can let himself go. But somewhere, somehow, a switch flipped. And now it was hard to remember up from down, left from right, as your lover's hard-crafted arms kept you pressed close to him while his hips were pistoning against you, rock hard member reaching all the most spine-tingling spots inside you.

You may have been on top, but there was no mistaking who was in charge, his fingers pressed into the fat of your thighs to keep you close, no possibility of space between your bodies. His kisses consumed you, that golden gaze kept you entranced, and the heat of his body threatened to burn you up completely. And although you couldn't see it, the feel and sound of where you were connected resonated in the room, the most indecent sounds of wet flesh meeting and breathy moans filling the room.

You couldn't be sure where this want of possession came from, why he sought you so strongly. Maybe he simply needed the reassurance, a bad memory or dream reminding him of the past, of what he's had to endure. Or perhaps he saw someone getting a little too close to the one he loves. Fleeting thoughts of recent interactions with Liam came to mind, shining a bright smile at him when he'd gotten you your favorite baked good, or made you laugh a little too hard at a silly anecdote. Keith saw, and you could only guess it had left a tad sour taste in his mouth, even though he knew better. But those thoughts couldn't stay in your mind for long, a sudden, forceful orgasm removing all thoughts except for ones of your lover.

He took every last orgasm from you and then some, until you were simply a bundle of nerves in his arms. He made sure to whisper sweet whispers of apologies and "next time"s into your ear, but the look on his face spoke volumes of his satisfaction with what happened. But he was cute when he was possessive, so fiercely needy of you, that it was hard not to forgive him. And if the ache between your legs said anything, it was that you couldn't be too terribly upset with the outcome either.

[ihavenolife346]

☆♡Her, only her♡☆

Pairing: James Hetfield x f!reader

Summary: He couldn’t stand to lose her, not another person he loved, he just couldn’t.

Warnings: Slight angst, Near death experience, swearing, slight description of severe injuries, hospitals, car crash, one mention of a drunk driver, but happy ending.

People: James Hetfield, Kirk Hammett, Lars Ulrich, Jason Newsted, Bob Rock, Y/N

Side note: I’m in a mood tonight so yes, sad stuff with a happy ending.

The show was going perfect. The crowd was into it, the band was playing great, everything was going incredible.

“How about some more shit off of Ride The Lightning?!!” James yelled into the microphone, the crowd erupting with cheers.

Walking over to the side of the stage, James, Kirk, and Jason all made a guitar change. “James!” Bob came running up to the singer.

“What Bob?” James wondered, wanting to get back to the crowd.

“Listen um…” Bob started, not knowing how to tell James the news he just got. Y/N, James’s girlfriend, a girl on the complete other side of the country, had been in a really bad accident. Bob knew James would personally kill him if he waited to tell him.

“Jesus Christ Bob, I have a show to get back too. What is it?” James was getting impatient, hearing his band mates call for him.

“James…” Bob sighed. “It’s Y/N.” That was enough to get James’s full attention right now.

“What about her?” James went immediately to the worst.

“She uh…she was in a car accident a few hours ago, I just got the call from the hospital. It’s not good James.” Bob watched the singers face completely drop.

“W-what.” James didn’t think he heard Bob right.

“They’re taking her into surgery in about 10 minutes.” Bob didn’t wanna believe it either, but it was true.

That was all James needed to hear before he dropped his guitar and took off. Bob understood it, it was his girlfriend, he knew he needed to be there right now.

Jason and Kirk watched the whole thing happen. And this point, the crowd was getting impatient. “Hey man, what the fuck? Why’d James just take off running.” Jason sounded annoyed by the singers actions.

Bob didn’t want to have this conversation again, he knew he had too, “it’s Y/N…she was in an accident. It’s not good, not good at all. She’s going into surgery here in a few minutes. I just got the call.” Bob explained to the guitarist and bassist.

Both had the same reaction as James, “what?!” Kirk spoke first. He loved the girl like a sister, she was his best friend. Jason had grown quite close to her as well, she always made sure he was comfortable when he first joined the band, hung out with him when the others didn’t want too.

“He left when I told him that.” Bob added.

Kirk and Jaosn understood why he left. “Ok…um. We’ll handle the rest of the show.” Jason mumbled.

Within seconds, Jason and Kirk were over by Lars explaining the situation. “Ok!” Kirk yelled into the microphone. “So for all of you who are wondering what’s taking so long. Something personal with James came up and he had to leave in a hurry. We only had 2 songs left, and we are all terribly sorry. We hope you understand, we will release details when we feel ready too.” Kirk explained the basic details of what was going on, some boos, some ohs, and silence coming from the crowd. None of them were mad at James, they were just as worried about the girl.

_____________________

An 8 hour plane ride had never felt so long to James in his life. His mind was racing the entire trip back to San Francisco. Was Y/N ok? Was she dead? What was going on?

James didn’t care about the press right now. He needed to get to her. He’d answer questions later, he’d answer them when he knew she was ok. James had contacted Bob on the plane, he knew what hospital she was at, he was easily going over 15 on his way there. He hadn’t slept in almost a day, he didn’t care though. He needed to see her.

It didn’t even take him more than 5 minutes to get from the hospital parking lot to the floor his girl was on. “Mr.Hetfeild.” It was almost like Y/N’s doctor was just waiting for him to get there.

“Can I help you?” James was in no mood to have his time wasted right now.

“I’m your girlfriend’s doctor, Dr.Grey. If you would like to see her, I can take you to her room. She got out of surgery a few hours ago.” Dr.Grey simply explained to the singer. He could understand James’s want to see his girlfriend.

James felt like he could at least take a slight breath now, she was ok, she got out of surgery, she was ok. “Yes. Please.” James tried his best not to sound rude.

Dr.Grey nodded, “follow me.” With a small smile on his face as he turned to go to his patients room.

_____________________

There she was…tubes, monitors, everything. She was laying in the bed looking almost lifeless. It almost broke James seeing her like this. “W-what happened.” James mumbled, not being able to tear his eyes off the girl in fear that she might just die right then and there.

“She was hit by a drunk driver. We took her into surgery the second we got her in. She had a piece of glass stabbed into her right hip, a few pieces of glass around the rest of her body, three broken ribs, a dislocated wrist, and a broken shoulder. She’s a strong one, not many would survive a surgery like hers.” Dr.Grey explained the basics of what happened to her.

James couldn’t help but hold back tears. Y/N went through all that…all that while he was in New York playing a concert. “Y-yea…that’s my girl.” James choked on his words.

The doctor could tell James wanted to be alone with her. “Some nurses will be in and out checking her stats.” Dr.Grey spoke before turning to leave the room.

James didn’t even bother saying anything to him. Slowly walking over to the girl, James felt like he was gonna break her at even the slightest touch. Taking a seat in the chair next to her bed, James didn’t know what to do. Should he say something? Should he just wait for her to wake up?

Sitting there with nothing but the sound of Y/N’s heart monitor, James pulled the chair closer to her bed, taking her hand in his. “Hi baby…” James could barely bring his voice above a whisper. “Um.” James wasn’t really sure what to say. He didn’t even know if she could hear him. It broke him seeing her like this, cold and pale. “I’m sorry…” James started. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here. I’m sorry this happened to you. You out of all people don’t deserve it… this shouldn’t have happened.” James noticed how shaky his voice was. He really didn’t know what else to say.

_____________________

He sat there in silence, watching the nurses come in and out, trying to keep back his tears until he couldn’t. At this point he didn’t even know how long he had been sitting there, all he knew was that the sun had went down at least an hour ago. “I-I can’t lose you…” James couldn’t hold back his tears. “I can lose everything…but I can’t lose you. Oh god, I can’t lose you.” James rested his head on top of her hand. “I lost Cliff not even 3 years ago…I can’t lose you. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. Please baby…please wake up. I love you, I love you so much. Please wake up…you have to wake up.” James knew he couldn’t bare to lose her. He had lost Cliff, he lost his mom…that he could bare. But losing her? No, he couldn’t. He just couldn’t.

Y/N felt the feeling in her body come back, she practically forced her eyes open. Y/N could only roll her head over to see what the weight was on her hand. She heard some of what James said. The sight made Y/N slightly smile. He came when he found out what happened, he was there, there to see her. He came from New York, just to see her. “H-“ Y/N tried to talk, her voice hardly even a whisper. “H-hi.” That was really all she could muster up to say. Everything hurt. Her body hurt, her head hurt, her throat hurt, it all hurt, even with the pain killers.

James’s head shot up almost immediately. The first thing Y/N noticed was the tear stains on his cheeks. Y/N had only seen James cry two times in his life. Once when his mom died, and another time when Cliff died. She’d never seen him cry any other times. “Baby?” James wanted to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

“H-hey.” Y/N spoke between coughs. “Don’t cry sweetheart.” Y/N reached up a shaky hand, using the little energy she had right now, to whip the few remaining tears from his face, ignoring the throbbing pain in her entire body. James couldn’t help but lean into her touch when her hand came to his cheek, finally realizing that she was actually awake.

“H-hi.” James had never looked more relived in his life than he did now. “Hi baby.” James kissed the palm of the girls hand, gently placing his free hand on top of hers and keeping it close to his face, his touch almost as light as a feather.

Y/N smiled the best she could, “what the hell happened…” Y/N grumbled, she didn’t really remember much of anything.

“You were in an accident baby. A really bad one.” James was relived that she woke up finally, he could take an actual breath knowing that she was officially ok.

“Fuck…” Y/N grumbled.

_____________________

It didn’t take long for the doctors to come in and find her awake, check her vitals, and determine that she would be ok for the next few hours. “Don’t you have a show to go to tonight?” Y/N coughed out.

James shook his head almost immediately, “shows are postponed till you’re home, Kirk and the guys are taking care of it.” He squeezed her hand as gently as possible in his, just mentally telling himself that she was at least awake and talking. It still hurt…it hurt seeing her so banged up, it was killing him seeing her in that hospital bed, but my god he was just happy she was awake. He just wanted to lay next to her, pull her into his arms, hold her and cradle her against him and jsut tell her it would all be ok. But he knew he couldn’t do that, he would never forgive himself if he accidentally hurt her or if she would hurt herself further just by moving.

Y/N was honestly amazed at what he just told her, even if that little voice in her head was telling her to stop feeling guilty for taking him away from his fans, she was touched at the fact that he postponed god knows how many shows just to be there, “you postponed the shows to be here…?” She almost felt like crying at what he did for her.

“Of course I did baby…I was on a plane within an hour after Bob told me. Of course I’m gonna be here with you.” James ran his thumb over her knuckles, not once breaking eye contact with her.

She was honestly touched at the fact that he already had his tour postponed. She knew just how important the tour was for the album, for the band as a whole. “Thank you…” Y/N muttered, using almost all the strength she had to finally intertwined her fingers with his. Just the fact that he was there, holding her hand, it almost made her feel better about the whole thing. He was almost that small sense of comfort that made her feel ok, he was her reminder that she had to be ok.

James didn’t dare to pick her hand up completely, just the fact that she got the strength to interlock her fingers with his was enough for him for a moment. His eyes had never left her since she woke up. He really just needed to know she was ok. He needed that reminder that she was looking right back at him, talking, breathing, that she was ok. He simply just leaned his head down, pressing a badly even noticeable kiss on her knuckles.

Y/N could just see that look in his eyes. Sure, she was the one in the hospital bed, but that didn’t stop her from worrying about him. She could tell he wasn’t ok, how much he hated seeing her like this, yet that small look of desperation in his eyes made her weakly smile. After a moment of silence, she let out a shaky breath, gently trying to tug on his hand a bit.

James glanced down at their hands when he felt the barely even noticeable tug, his eyes immediately shooting back to her, “what’s wrong baby…?” James questioned, his mind immediately thinking she was trying to get his attention cause she was in more pain.

“C’mere…” Y/N mumbled, not managing to get her voice above a whisper, looking back at him with that same hint of desperation in her eyes that he was looking at her with, when she realized how much she actually wanted to be held right now.

James kinda froze for a minute, practically screaming at himself to just give into his own wants and give her what she wanted, but part of him couldn’t bring himself to say yes out of fear that he’d hurt her, “I can’t sweet girl…” James spoke as gentle as he could, trying to hide the pain in his voice. “I can’t accidentally hurt you…”

She let out a huff, shaking her head ever so slightly, “you won’t…j-just-please…?” She muttered, doing what she could and gently tugging on his hand again. She didn’t care if he did by chance hurt her, she knew he wouldn’t mean to, and she just needed to feel him closer to her.

He couldn’t deny it. The way she was looking at him with that pained yet wanting look, he couldn’t say no to her. He thought about it for a second before he gently let go of her hand and got up from the chair he was sitting in, observing over her carefully. “Can I move you a bit baby…?” James asked gently.

As much as she didn’t want to move at all, she wanted to be close to him just a bit more. “Y-yea…” she muttered, nodding ever so slightly.

James was as careful as humanly possibly once she nodded, carefully slipping his arm under her knee and his other arm under her back, moving her over just a tad bit so he could properly at least sit next to her.

She bit down harshly on her lip when he moved her just a bit, trying to ignore the pain that shot through her, just constantly telling herself she’d at least be closer to him. “I am so sorry…” James repeated a few times before he got her moved over jsut enough to at least sit next to her. Within seconds, James was as quick but gentle as he could be when he climbed into the uncomfortable bed next to her, letting his back rest against the few pillows she had and gently wrapping an arm around her shoulders to try and get her to lean against him a bit.

She couldn’t help but let out a few pained groans when he moved her, managing to get her body to move just a bit so she at least had her head on his shoulder, a breath she didn’t even know she was holding left her lips the second she felt his arm wrap around her. Right now, he was her main source of comfort, he was her reason for knowing she’d be ok, he was the one thing making her feel better about the situation.

James leaned his cheek against her head when she managed to move so she was against his side and had her head on his shoulder, just holding her gently against his side, pressing a very feather like kisses to the top of her head, “I love you…so much…” James spoke in a soft murmur after a few moments, still being as gentle as he could be with her but having a decent grip on her as well.

“I love you too…” she muttered back, actually managing to get herself to relax even just a bit, focusing completely on him instead of the pain she felt all throughout her body, finally taking a breather when he kissed her head. He always made her feel safe, and right now that was what she desperately needed. Having his arm around her, feeling him close to her, she knew he was her reason that she had to be ok. Even with how everything hurt, she knew she had to be ok for him, and she knew she would be.

[redrose10]

Here is the smut side story that goes with this short story from the picture game.

It’s been a looonnngggg time since I’ve written smut and I’m sure it shows. I hope it’s not too bad though.

Warnings: Unprotected sex, body insecurities, general sex stuff nothing too crazy, crying after sex, everything is consensual

Dinner had been simple and light, not wanting to weigh yourself down. The conversation was fun with lots of smiles and laughter. It felt like old times which you and Yoongi were slowly getting back to. You were moving back into your once shared home bit by bit. Mae was taking all the changes surprisingly well but you really think it helps that she gets to see her daddy almost every day again so she didn’t really care about much else.

You’d gone to a couple therapy sessions with Yoongi and it was very beneficial to you both. You wished you’d gone sooner. His therapist loved the idea of slowly trying to introduce intimacy back into your lives. Which is what you did.

It started with Yoongi using his mouth and fingers to pleasure you on a couple occasions. You always felt terrible that he would never let you return the favor but he assured you he was okay doing without and you understood why so you never pushed him more than just offering.

But a couple weeks ago his doctor switched up his medicine to something new which was supposed to have fewer or lighter side effects. You didn’t want to rush him so you waited until he was ready and last night he asked if your parents would mind taking Mae for a night. He also asked you to bring over that one lingerie set. You played it cool but internally you were screaming with excitement.

And now here you were staring at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Instead of wearing the old piece you decided to start fresh and buy something new. You chuckled, not because of the way you looked or anything since Yoongi had been working double time to make sure you got your confidence back, but because you couldn’t believe the amount of money you paid for something with such little fabric.

It was weird feeling so nervous to have sex with your husband who you also had a child with so this wasnt anything new. You two used to rip each others clothes off and get right to it but now it felt so foreign and different.

You tied your robe shut and turned off the bathroom light.

Yoongi was sitting on the edge of the bed staring off into space. You knew he was already in his head, probably criticizing himself for things that didn’t even happen yet.

When he heard the door click shut he looked over and smiled.

He grabbed your hand and pulled you in-front of him to stand between his legs, “Come here baby.” You did as he said, starting to run your fingers through his hair to comfort him.

“I’m so nervous.”, he chuckled as he toyed with the string of your robe.

“It’s okay. I am too. But remember that it’s just me Yoongi and we’re gonna take it slow and we’ll work through it together.”

He leaned into your touch loving the way your hands felt on him.

His fingers had a slight shake to them as he pulled a little harder on the string.

“C-Can I?”, he asked.

You nodded, “Please.”

In one movement he pulled on the string releasing the hold it had on your robe. You shimmied your shoulders allowing the silk to slide down to the floor revealing the light blue lace and sheer fabric that adorned your body underneath it.

You felt self conscious and started to worry but any doubts you had were banished when Yoongi’s hands grabbed onto your hips giving them a light squeeze. He licked his lips as he looked you over once again. “Y/N you’re gorgeous and mine, all mine, all for me.”, you heard him mumbling as he placed sloppy kisses over the fabric, surprising you when his teeth lightly grazed your right nipple.

Slowly he helped you out of what you were wearing, his eyes not leaving you once.

“Umm something seems off about this situation right now.”, you giggled while pulling on the sleeve of his t-shirt since he was still fully clothed.

He helped you pull off the fabric tossing it aside before he lifted up so you could pull off the sweats he had been wearing leaving him in just his boxers.

Feverishly you leaned back in searching for his lips. Yoongi pulled you on top of him as he laid back on the bed. You straddled him trying to remember every touch and every spot that would get him going. Things started falling into place.

Your lips started on his neck sucking little bits before slowly trailing down his chest to his stomach and then just below his belly button.

You ran your tongue against the fabric of his boxers feeling him half hard but it got a reaction from him so you did it again this time with a little more pressure.

He moaned your name giving you confidence. You hooked a finger around the waistband of his shorts pulling them down and freeing his large cock that you hadn’t seen in ages. You had forgotten just how beautiful your husband was, every inch of him.

He wasn’t quite there yet but you were determined to bring him to full erection. You placed kisses on his thighs knowing that he liked to be teased. Your kisses turned into little licks that got closer and closer until you surprised him by taking him fully in your mouth. He groaned as his hips bucked up to meet your mouth. Slowly but steadily you bobbed your head up and down on his cock making sure to pay extra attention to the head just like he always liked.

You made sure to even reach up and give his balls a light squeeze knowing that usually increased his pleasure. After several minutes of this he was no harder than when you started.

Trying your best to mask your disappointment you leaned back to catch your breath while still stroking him with your hand.

You tried to go back in with your mouth but he stopped you, “Just forget it Y/N. It’s not going to happen.”

“Yoongs it’s okay. Don’t get upset. Let’s just take a break and we can try again. We have all night.”, you said trying to salvage the situation.

But he pulled on his shorts and walked out of the room leaving you there naked and alone.

Giving him a few minutes you slowly slid on his shirt that he had been wearing and walked out to find him. He was sat on the couch staring at the blank television.

When you got closer he finally looked up at you, “I’m sorry Y/N, I’m sorry I can’t be there for you in the ways you need me to be.”

You sighed feeling frustrated. Frustrated with yourself, frustrated with him for feeling like that, frustrated at the situation.

Gently you leaned him back against the couch and you straddled his lap. You were going to take charge and try things your way.

“Yoongi you’re thinking too much about it. You need to just relax and let your body feel.”, you mumbled into his lips while simultaneously grinding down on his soft cock. You could feel your arousal soaking through his shorts, “And even if we don’t get there tonight I’m perfectly happy just being close to you like this.”

Your words seemed to calm him and his body started to relax back into the couch.

With more force you pushed your wet cunt down on him harder this time while using the friction to get yourself off.

Yoongi’s hands were roaming your body until they settled on your hips helping to hold you down. He always had a thing for letting you use him as you pleased.

“Mmm baby, I don’t even need you inside me. I can cum just like this.”, you moaned in his ear.

He took the hem of the shirt you were wearing and pulled it over you throwing it across the room with force. You laughed until his mouth connected harshly with your left nipple while his large hands squeezed your breast together making a moan escape you.

His hips bucked up encouraging you to continue chasing your high when you felt his bulge growing. He was the hardest he’d been all night. Not wanting to draw attention to it you continued to grind down on him just like you had been. His shorts now soaked with a mix of your arousal and his pre cum.

“Do you trust me?”, you whispered in his ear before nibbling on the lobe.

“Mmhm with my life.”

You continued your movements until he was a mess under you and rock hard.

You lifted your hips up far enough that you could quickly move his shorts down freeing his red swollen cock allowing it to stand straight up. Before he could react you sunk down on him talking all of him in one shot.

The pain was immediately replaced by pleasure as you willingly accepted the familiar girth.

“Oh fuck”, he hissed feeling your warmth and wetness for the first time in over a year.

You gave it another moment for you both to adjust before you began to bounce up and down on his length.

Yoongi was a moaning cursing mess. His head rolling back with his mouth agape. His eyes squeezed shut as he soaked in the sensations and sounds around him. You took the moment to plant kisses along his jaw when he lunged forwarded capturing your lips with his instead.

You were trying your hardest to make sure he enjoyed this moment to the fullest. Using his shoulders for leverage you started bouncing up and down more aggressively letting his cock fully slip out of you before sheathing yourself again. The position giving Yoongi the one of the best views he’s ever seen between your body sliding up and down on his painfully hard erection and your boobs bouncing inches from his face. That combined with the sounds you were making were blissful and he found himself nearly finishing by surprise.

He gasped grabbing a hold of his cock to prevent you from slamming back down on it.

“Fuck sorry Y/N, I nearly came.”, he said out of breath.

You giggled giving him a few kisses before he removed his hand allowing you slip his cock back inside. Once again you began your movements but this time his hands clung to your waist, “Y/N go slow, please. I-I can’t last much longer. It’ll be even less if you keep this up.”, he panted.

“It’s okay Yoongs. Let go whenever you’re ready. I’ve got you.”, you said giving his shoulder a squeeze.

You obliged for a little though. Wanting to keep the feeling of him finally being inside you. You moved slowly, both of you watching as he slid in an out of you.

You started to pick up the pace again though. Your own high was close and you knew he was even closer. You could feel the way he twitched inside, his grip on your waist getting tighter, the concentration on this face as he tried to fight it. Skin on skin and ragged breathing the only sounds in the room.

“Y/N. I…I can’t. You have to stop. I’m gonna cum if you don’t stop.”, he cried into your chest.

“Then cum for me. I want to make you feel good. Fill me up baby. I know you want to.”

And that was the final push he needed.

He came inside you with a loud pornographic moan, his body shaking as you continued to ride him through his high wanting him to feel euphoric.

Somehow he still managed to bring his hand to your clit rubbing figure eights and willing himself through the over stimulation as you continued to ride him through your own high as well.

He leaned his forehead against your chest and you placed a kiss on the top of his head.

“Was that okay?.” you asked.

“Y/N, that was more than okay.”, he chuckled.

Both of you stayed like that for a minute because you were exhausted but also just genuinely enjoyed the intimacy that had been missing for so long.

“Thank you…thank you for not giving up on me.”, he sniffled and you realized he was crying.

“Don’t thank me. We’re in this together. No matter what. Everything will be okay.”, you said wiping away his tears with your thumbs.

He kissed you, “I love you Y/N, I love you so much.”

You kissed him again and again making sure he knew you loved him too.

[longing-for-rain]

Just so you know, some of your anons are coming from a blog called @mal3vol3nt

I do not know if you’re aware, but she’s chronically obsessed with you and has also been sharing your ao3 on Twitter and inciting harassment there too, saying you’re “racist” and a “degenerate” and accusing you of writing underage. Her blog lately is mainly posts about you and it sounds very similar to some of your anons

I had to check this out for myself and...wow. All I can say is just...wow 🤣

No, I actually had no idea who this person was but from the looks of it she's been obsessed with me for months? I guess that explains the anons, I knew these people were mad, but apparently they've been over here steaming over my takes and are legitimately terrified of me. And I didn't even know them! Didn't realize I've been doing numbers on Twitter (or X whatever it is now) despite never having an account.

(The rest is below; please don't click if you do not wish to see insensitive discussions of rape or if you are not in the mood to read opinions so malformed they will melt your brain)

I guess I have another angry little troll who doesn't know what a captial letter is obsessed with me. Wish I could say it was the first time, but alas. A lot of particularly funny things here though.

> Advertising your terrible ragebait Twitter like anyone finds you important

Lmao.

> "write fanfiction of katara being raped so zuko can save her"

What a terrible misread of the point of that story, but then again, I don't expect much else from a terminally online crybaby who exclusively consumes media for children. If you can't handle adult discussions about adult topics, maybe don't read stories that are clearly marked 18+ and with far more extensive trigger warnings than any mainstream media will give you.

> "measuring the size of her breasts and hips"

Lmao. I said she is drawn differently in different scenes. That's it. You guys are another level of unhinged.

> "obviously fetishes and racism"

It's kind of creepy how they sexualize Zutara, while simultaneously accusing us of doing that. Why do you assume a fetish is the only reason behind someone liking a ship? Why would you say this about a group of people including many black, brown, and indigenous women? And minors? And if you want to get into the whole fetish thing, don't even get me started on the shit I've seen from the kataang fandom. Hint: when I say some of you have a "mommy fetish" I mean it in a very literal sense. Not to mention the whole kataang rape discord debacle.

> "sick fantasies about these minor characters"

I have never depicted a minor in a sexual situation. I make a point to explicitly avoid doing that, and all characters are depicted as adults. Your lack of media literacy isn't an argument. If you're going to criticize my writing, at least read it, which you clearly didn't. And if the content is too upsetting for you, you clearly lack the maturity to engage in these kinds of discussions.

Imagine treating ship discourse this seriously, actually unhinged. Who said that Ember Island Players is the real Katara? What? She talks a big number about coke-fueled rants, must have given it a try herself. How do you expect to be taken seriously when you never say anything of substance and screech "racism" or "colonizer" every other word but can't even articulate the significance of those terms? Honestly, at this point you sound like a right-winger who thinks saying "but I'm [identity] and I agree with [opinion]" is a golden ticket to winning every argument.

And look at this: apparently I deserved all the things she and her friends sent me? Actually I respect this take, at least she's honest about it unlike the people who cry and backpeddle when they get caught red-handed.

I'm actually cackling at this one. Genuinely laughing; my neighbors are probably concerned. It's like you took every single Bad Person Allegation and threw it into a blender. And to top it all off, apparently 24 is "pushing 30" now LMAO. And apparently I, a lesbian, could only possibly like Zutara because I think Zuko is hot. Not to mention the way they entirely miss the point of Zutara, but ATLA itself, by insisting that Zuko is a "violent imperialist" who is apparently unworthy of love by anyone who does not share his skin tone. Kind of ironic coming from the people crying that I'm a racist who doesn't understand the show. Next level clownery.

This is so funny. These people are absolutely terrified of me, no amount of unhinged anons will hide that. It's fine for men to tell me I deserve rape and death, that I'm a dirty pervert for daring to speak out about sexual trauma, and that women's sexual trauma is nothing but a fetish, but if I respond to that man telling him he should die for being so disrespectful and misogynistic to rape victims, I'm the monster? I stand by it. If you think what he said about rape and rape victims is acceptable, especially if you're a man, die! Hang from ropes, as I said.🥰

I guess I should be really scared though. This is clearly a very influential figure in the fandom who is renowned for her enlightened wisdom on the plight of fictional cartoon characters against evil imperialists like me (adult with job).

...oh wait. I was excited for a minute, I thought I was dealing with a celebrity. But even the "callouts" struggle to hit 20 notes :/

And to everyone sending me positivity during this time, thank you very much! But I wanted to show you this to assure you I'm doing just fine. People can act as weird as they want behind a gray face, but after seeing the kinds of whiny little brats they are in reality, it's pretty hard to take it seriously. "I got my plane ticket" my ass, that would require you to leave your decaying, trash-filled apartment.

[eternalfrowning]

Hi!! So I've been following your blog since middle school and it's TG days, and now I'm in university for art and you've always been one my biggest art inspirations and muse! So I know this sounds crazy and maybe jealousy-filled and envious, but sometimes I feel like I can never ever reach your level? Like aside from the technical aspects, the way you have mastery over your style, approach to color, "soul" that embodies your art... There's something in it that makes you feel emotion.

Meanwhile I feel like a robot who can only draw and paint technically well, but my art doesn't inspire feelings. It's always the same things with no variation and I'm always scared of getting out of the box and being truly free. Like I'm simply not creative. It's just that no matter how much I improve in art, I feel like it means nothing at the end at all because there's these hard limits regarding creativity set upon me. Even in university, my classmates have so many creative designs but nothing ever comes up in my mind. Do you ever feel like that? How do you get over it?

Hello Anon ! I'll begin by saying thank you so much for your message, and for trusting me with your words and raw feelings about your art journey ; i hope i can be a good listener here, and help you a little..!! im honored my blog has been a part of your path for so long, and still be a place you like today.

(It's a pretty long reply so i cut here!)

Now, to reply directly to your last questions: yes ! I do/did feel like this ! And the 'how to get over it' has no clear answer, it's a personal one, but all these feelings are natural i think, but not absolute, it goes away, it comes back, it becomes minuscule.

It's interesting because what you describe liking about my drawings, are things that is/used to be such difficulty for me, and such fears !! Colors are still a real struggle, and, i'm opening my heart here, because you were kind enough to open yours, i'm always deeply scared my drawing doesn't say anything, i fear it holds no soul, i worry it makes the viewer feel nothing. It's always something in the back of my mind. And i feel no expertise in my techniques! So your enjoyment about my drawings is a very pleasant surprise to me, and a tiny slap in the back of my skull that says : 'chill sometimes!!!! it's okay, you're doing great!!' , and, i hope i won't sound impolite, i'm saying this with tenderness, but maybe that's what you need to hear too !! So i'm saying it to you Anon ! You speak of yourself very harshly, with like a severe sentence over your head that tells you what you're capable of or not, a sword of Damocles awaiting to strike and stop your body from drawing. It's too mean and wrong. Take good care of yourself, it is you who matters most! I had a terribly shitty time in art school, i don't know how is your university, but i hope it's not making you feel bad, i hope it doesn't crush day by day your relationship with your art and with your self. The way you kindly describe your enjoyment about my drawings over the years, and the way you're serious about what you do and what you'd like to do, tells that it is deep to you, that it is something you hold dear ; if i can keep on giving advices here, i think maybe connect again to that, your enjoyment; you like drawing ! Also, i probably just heard one single interesting thing in art school, but it helped : '…it's just line on paper.' At that time, i was having a nervous breakdown in the classroom, the teacher was flabbergasted, and blurted out that to me. I was working on a large format and my mental health was IN THE GUTTER, i felt my life was on the line with every little buildings i was drawing, my whole body was trembling ! But, between very unrespectful and crazy statements, here she was right. We can be serious about what we do, and still remember that it's just lines on paper, pixels on screen. We can go back to it tomorrow, we can erase all of it, it's okay. It doesn't matter as much as us waking up, drinking a good glass of water, drawing a smiley on our skin to cheer us up!

More precisely about what you said about creativity, i had the same feelings in art school, i thought my classmates were so much smarter and creative ! And they ARE brilliant, i met wonderful brains there !! We talked together about how i felt behind, and for example my friend was surprised because they were really admirative about my drawing ! The confusion was mutual haha ! I still feel inadequate sometimes, but we all have our own aspirations and interests, and it's actually so much fun to share, have mutual inspirations, together. Did you talk with classmates you trust about your struggles ? You would be surprised!! It's interesting to hear what other people have to say ! Do you think they feel nothing when looking at your drawings ? Did they say it to you ? Or is it something you believe in the back of your mind only ? And even if they did say something like this to you, did they provide fertile feedbacks ? Also, the fact that art inspires feelings or not, or the fear i talked about earlier that haunts me sometimes..i think we can agree it's so subjective!! Something you love, something you want to cherish all day and keep below your pillow because it makes you feel so much and strongly, can be a complete 'whatever' to someone else aha, and it's just like this, and it's the very same 'something', it's okay, it's good like this actually!

Creativity, from what i understand, is a difficult thing to define and characterize, honestly. But i'd say, while there is this tiny spark of indefiniteness inside a process, the little squeeze in the chest where you feel you're getting something coming up, the bubbly things you want to process and tell in your drawing, it's not all there is to creativity in my opinion! These 'ideas' can be fuel or the sparks in your drawing motor yes, but creativity is most importantly the choices you make ! You said you have technical skills, and improving, and it's this technicality that can guide! A lot of artists think of themselves more as crafter, or even 'robot' sometimes ! It's automatisms over automatisms, choice over choice over choice, to get something as close as possible as the goals we had in mind, as close as what we like or imagine or need. Be rigid! there's nothing wrong with it.

That being said, you mentioned that you're drawing the same things. In what sense ? If you portray the same subjects and you're not happy with it, it could be good to change subjects, draw whatever !! Your interest will spark in space you wouldn't imagine ! And, if it doesn't, coming back to what you know with other things done will revive old flames.

What seems to hold you back is fear (and deep fatigue if i can add this, i'm serious take care of you). We know how much seriousness and love we pour into drawing, it's personal, but it's not a reflection of our self in absolute, it doesnt say anything about you, your value, what you can or can't do. For real, the limits most of the time are on the technical side, and it seems you have this covered, i trust you to ease your brain into trying new things for you, trying things again with an unserious mind also, look at how fun your brush hitting the canvas is, mix mediums, or don't haha! And, if it's difficult to do it 'mindlessly,' once again it's about choices ; 'i deciced the light should hit there because it's the main subject', 'i decided this color meant /thing/ that's why it's there', 'i decided the lines should be thicker because it's a reference to /this/ and it made sense to', You can be very free inside your own box, truly ! You will expand your world without realizing it! I hope i make sense, and didn't say too many stupid things. I talked a lot once again, and a lot about me ouargh but since you asked about my experience, i hope it's okay, and that you can find some points useful to you. For now that's what i can give !

I'll finish all this by saying thank you again, and wishing you all the best in your path, in whatever form it takes. Don't hesitate to contact me again if you feel like it, or to talk about it with classmates and people you trust, and take a step back when needed. You got this!!!

<3

[brainfullofbees]

.

[aroaceleovaldez]

Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.

Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.

Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.

Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.

[thetisming]

im actually really worried that im not that interested in &j anymore like ivd been having a hard time writing about it and talking about it online and i mean i talk about it a lot irl but idk like people have been knowing more than me and im starting to feel so incredibly inferior that it's hard for me to enjoy it

[thatbuddie]

you seriously cannot make this up: you have people reblogging fic featuring a racist character as half of the main ship in the morning then trying to give morality lessons in the evening by calling others homophobic over a joke.

THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE, BABES.

[spider-man-2o99]

ok i’m still On Break do not take this post as a sign that i’m like. Actively Tumblring again yet because i’m still not, 4 the most part, but i have had my ear to the ground for special interest things, of fuckign course, of course, bcuz i’m me, and i. just. i am .i’m so fucking sorry to all the new SM2099 comic fans who are only just now realizing just now how dire the straits are, here, LMAO. it has been this way for Years. earnestly and from the bottom of my heart i love spider-man 2099 so much and also nobody on the goddamn planet Cares About Him At All or can even fucking write him half-decently unless every single celestial bodie in the fucking milky way galaxy comes into perfect fucking syzygy, i think, i think, i think. why did u think we (me) had a psychotic episode after that fuckin movie dropped. fucksake. lord above. because it’s all always “ohhh being yourSELF and telling your OWN story your OWN way” until you Look A Certain Way and ARE A Certain Way and Have Symptoms That Look Frightening and Don’t Move Around Like ‘Normal’ People Should Move, fuckin’ freaky-ass creature beast-thing, and so on and so on and so on, Christ all-fuckin’-mighty. gets tiring. but. anywaygs.

it is far easier to be destructive, than constructive. so. ahem. sorry. refocusing. it seems quite simply that just yet another goddamn story missed the point that 90s future spider-man is a story about very plainly and simply loving each other as people. it’s a story about a severely depressed, miserable, cynical little man who finds new reasons to live in every kind person he meets, and there is an open earnesty to that, if nothing else, that no movie can take away 30 years later. anybody can decide to try and be a better person than the one they were yesterday, and that is goddamn important. to portray anything otherwise was an unfathomably cruel decision, on sony’s part, and as soon as we got trailer evidence that they were leaning into his more “intimidating” features back in ~dec. 2021, i.. pretty much Knew it was what they were gonna be doing with him. why wouldn’t they? i mean. who actually even cares about this obscure nobody, right? c-listers are the tried-and-true adaptational chameleons, anyways; they sure suckered in dumbasses like me, who still took blind hope in hook line and sinker, thinking he’d be important to the film, or at the very least portrayed sympathetically to his 30 years of established comic history as a character who is consciously aware that he is an adult survivor of fucking child abuse. but. c’est la fucking vie, i guess.

[laurapetrie]

Their pink-papered bedrooms were furnished with thick carpets and ivory-painted furniture. As the sisters grew up, icons, paintings and photographs went up along the walls, and frilly dressing tables were installed. Fashion magazines that Tatiana ordered from all over Russia and from abroad covered night tables. The princesses took warm baths at night with perfumed bath water from Coty, and they scattered jewelry cases, manicure sets, and combs and brushes on their vanities. The blankets on their beds were adorned with their initials, and their wardrobes were filled with matching pink velvet kokoshniki encrusted with bows. It was all so much typical, girlish ephemera, but to the public, the four Romanov sisters remained as beautiful and inaccessible as storybook princesses.

[dannybobany]

Omori fanfic I’d like to write:

Post good ending Shortbread (Hero x Bowen) thanksgiving fic except it’s not about shortbread at all. It’s about the inevitable problem caused by trying to celebrate thanksgiving between these two families

Just IMAGINE it for a moment would you, Kel and Mikhael just realized that they have to celebrate this holiday and every other major holiday for the foreseeable future in the same room as each other and this fact is ruining everything for both of them

Bowen’s parents are trying their best to be supportive but as generally conservative people this is not easy for them, and they keep saying offensive things in front of Kel’s and Hero’s mom, who is trying very hard to tolerate this and be polite for Hero’s sake but these people are seriously getting on her nerves (made worse by the fact her husband is refusing to take sides because “I just don’t like getting political sweetie”)

Sunny and his Mom show up an hour in because Kel invited them…. Without telling Hero about it

Daphne is sitting in the corner trying her best to entertain Sally while silently panicking about the fact that she’s just noticed Hero’s dog is nowhere to be seen. Like the dog got out at some point and obviously this is a problem and she would feel really bad if something happened but bringing up “hey your dog is loose” in a house about to explode for five other reasons is not a good idea

Shenanigans ensue

Can also work with goldrush but it’s funnier if Kel and Mikhael still hate each other