#it's not good advice for you

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Some financial advice that may be actually helpful

Based on one of y'all (sorry, I'm lazy, I'm not scrolling back) mentioning the terrible advice of "Make six figures."

Like, bitch. I'm TRYING.

But, let's say you live in a shocking world where you don't pull six figures out your bosses's ass every year. How can you make small financial changes that can lead to larger financial security?

These are all utterly subjective and based on things I've either actually done or just observed. I'm gonna try to skip over shit like, "shop for clothes second hand!" because shit like that can require a HUGE time commitment, and it's not even always worth it.

Anyway:

If your grocery store has a free rewards program (you put in your phone number or email address), get that set up. Yes, it will track what you purchase. But it also means when you get coupons in the mail, they're for things you actually buy. In our two-person household, we can save anywhere from 0-15 bucks a week depending on how coupons land.

If you can get a grocery card with fuel points (Fred Meyer and Safeway do it here in the PNW), you can save LOADS on gas. A dollar a gallon easily.

Also do any pet store reward programs that might be available. As the Bean does not require a great deal all the time, her rewards build up slowly, but every few months, we get enough points to get ten or twenty bucks off a purchase.

Do NOT buy in bulk if you're not gonna eat in bulk. Five pounds of rice is great if you eat rice regularly, but if you only have it every now and again, smaller portions of boxed rice are likely a better option. The same is true for any dried foods. Yeah, it's shelf stable, but it takes up more of the shelf. That could hold the stuff you actually eat steadily.

Frozen fruits/veggies are as healthy as fresh. And they'll stay ready to eat a lot longer. Consider that with how you eat and how much you eat a certain vegetable. It may be better worth your money to have three bags of frozen broccoli in your freezer than to keep buying fresh broccoli you forget to use in time.

If you're looking at a generic that says "Compare to BRAND NAME." It's the same formula. That's why they can say that. The reason it's cheaper is because the copyright or trademark costs money. Take that off, and boom. Cheaper cost for the same stuff.

If you have a car, know the way you drive it and how that can affect it. For example, if you do a lot of city driving, your transmission and (if applicable) stick shift are gonna wear down faster than you might expect. It's not always mileage. It's starting and stopping. However, if you drive long distances without stopping a lot (rural areas), your higher mileage car may not need any work on those things. Get your oil changed and your tires checked, and know what to look out for in terms of the kind of car you have and the driving you do. For example, we have less than 100k miles on our 15-year-old car, but we've mainly used it for city driving. We had to get the clutch re-built a few years ago, and last year we had to get the transmission goos updated because they'd run dry. These aren't surprising needs for a city-driven stick shift that's over ten years old.

There's a schedule to big shit going on sale in the US. Mattresses are a big thing around Memorial Day for some reason (Support the Fallen Troops by...fucking???). Electronics go big on sale before school starts and on Black Friday. Memorial Day is also big for cars, as is the 4th of July. If you hand make anything, certain colors of stuff go on sale before major holidays. Orange and black before Halloween. Red, green, and white before Christmas. Pastels before Easter. Etc.

Consider how much use a product will get before you decide you can or can't spend a little extra on it. Do 300-count sheets do the job? Yes. But speaking from recent experience, the 1500-count sheets feel so much nicer, which makes sleeping so much nicer, and I use them literally every single night, so the initial investment works out to basically the same even if I'd gotten cheaper sheets.

But also, stuff like sheets and comforters and stuff go on sale at various times! And your bed ain't gonna go through a growth spurt! Keep an eye out for those deals and scoop up the super soft stuff at a discount if you can!

And lastly on this main list, a very very important thing coming from a former poor kid: Fucking treat yourself. You know how much money you have. You know how much money you need. Maybe it's not hard to treat yourself because you're financially solvent, and in that case, this advice isn't for you. It's for those of us who have struggled to deviate at all from our list of NEEDS to give ourself even a very small WANT because WHAT IF I NEED FIVE BUCKS IN TWO DAYS. I get it. I do. To my bones. And I say fucking treat yourself, and if in two days, you suddenly need five bucks, do NOT feel bad that you got yourself a little something. You can't see into the future, and catastrophizing is so bad for you. Trust me. I know. Just. Remember, in all of this, give yourself a little focused care, okay?

All of that being said, a few more general points:

Dish soap is made to break up grease and oil, and it's commonly antibacterial. This makes it fucking perfect for cleaning your shower (covered in your greases and oils) and your bathroom in general (same reason). I don't recommend it for your toilet, but that's a personal preference based on zero research. The point is, most of your bathroom can be cleaned with dish soap. Get all your stuff off your counters. Make a thin layer with the dish soap. Let it sit for five to ten minutes. Scrub. Bonus: You can breathe the whole time.

Vinegar kills germs. Like, lab-tested kills germs. You can clean your kitchen with Vinegar and Borax (odor-reducer), and it costs a fraction of buying the kitchen-branded cleaners.

Borax is also great as an addition to laundry soap for odor-reducing reasons. So, even the cheap laundry soap is more effective with Borax.

"But Gayle, you can make your own laundry soap if you--" Yes, I know. And it's cool you know that. But it takes TIME to make laundry soap, and time is the only thing less reliable than money when it comes down to it.

Look up "No Buying" options in your area. This is usually a Facebook group or maybe a subreddit. The goal is that no one in the group wants to buy or sell anything. They just have stuff they want to get out of their house. It's not a 24/7 goldmine, but it's a once-a-day scroll through that could lead you to a pricey item for free!

If you have stuff that says "handwash," and you think, "Okay, I want to, but that's a whole new task." Nah. Just take a shower and bring it with! Hell, wear it in if you have to. I do this a LOT. Use the water and your soap (which, as it's likely a body wash or soap, will break down those skin oils and such) and give it a good washing while you stand there. Then, squeeze out the excess water and toss that thing over the shower rod. If you have a drying rack, use it. But if you don't, just leave it where it is and leave the fan going. It'll take care of itself. Just double check the label to know if hot water is a bad idea and if you need to lay flat or hang dry. If you need to lay flat, super squeeze the water out and lay it flat wherever you can.

And, lastly for this long post: If you need the expensive shit, buy the expensive shit. I have celiac and MCAS. My bread is five bucks a loaf. Peanut Butter fucks up my histamines. Almond fucks up my histamines. I need five dollar bread and fucking cashew butter to make a fucking sandwich. But the other option is getting sick from putting stuff in my body my body will fight against, and trust me, those urgent care visits stack up.

[captainjonnitkessler]

>Join a union

>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on

>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members

>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on

[heywriters]

If you want to write a dumb little story with a dumb little plot and ridiculously silly characters. No one's stopping you. Genuinely, no one should be allowed to stop you. Write that dumb story with your whole heart and don't hold back.

[castielfucks]

theres actually no rules to transitioning and youre allowed to want contradictory things for your transition. it's fine if you only want some of the changes that come with hrt and take preventative measures for the rest (like wanting bottom growth but not body hair or vice versa). you can want to have vagina AND a dick. you can be a woman and want top surgery, or wear a packer. you can be a man and want to have a pussy. you can change your transition goals one or a million times or not have any goals at all and just take things as they come or as they feel right.

there are no rules.

[lgbtlunaverse]

There's a version of the "don't go grocery shopping while hungry" rule specifically for writers where you should never under any circumstances be allowed to touch your draft within 3 hours of reading a really good story. Because sometimes when you read something great your head goes "fuck this is so much better than my stuff I should make that more like THIS instead!" Look at me. That's the devil talking and you should close the document NOW.

[spiritualseeker777]

[damian-lil-babybat]

They're judging their sibling's life decisions, and they are not impressed.

(And to think Jason and Dami have pit-madness in their system)

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

[chalkrub]

saw some mangy dog on the outskirts of town

[wrenhavenriver]

Just make sure you put it to good use.

[planet4546b]

this website is great because nearly every single post about writing advice on here is flat wrong. ESPECIALLY about worldbuilding

[tubbytarchia]

AND THE UNDERDOG YURI TAKES THE WIN WOOOOO ok but that was fun lol, all the ships are super neat and I really didn't expect GemPearl to win but good job guys!?

[wiki-but-made-them-up]

[bedazzlecunt]

i really do have to emphasize that like. horny tumblr is a fucking horrible place to learn about kink. at least half the people here have never had sex (or done kink without sex) beyond sexting on omegle, and even the ones who do have any experience with sex and and kink and IRL kink spaces (including myself!) are mostly engaging in fantasy and theatre and performance. that's fine! that's fun! there's nothing wrong with that. but i do worry so much about all the 18 yr olds i see on here who've never had sex, many of whom have never been in a relationship, and who are building ideas about kink and sex and health based on the most deranged fantasy-of-the-sort-you-literally-cannot-do-safely-irl tumblr posts. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not take any tumblr posts as actual kink education, including and sometimes especially the ones claiming to be actual kink education. there are actual books and groups and dungeons for that.

[cubbihue]

It would be nice to hear from Wanda and Cosmo! It is kind of nice that you guys have two children like your own family does. Are you two still close to your siblings? Wanda has a sibling and Cosmo also have a sibling just like Timmy and Peri. Do they share some sibling stories to your children?

Wanda and Cosmo both reconnected with their siblings shortly after having Peri. Or, well. More like Blonda reentered their lives once she realized she had a baby nephew. Eventually, they slowly patched things up the more Blonda came to visit Peri.

Schnozmo was dragged back kicking and screaming. Mama Cosma refuses to have her sons live estranged lives now that she has a grandchild in the picture. Schnozmo doesn't know how to handle children, but he's doing his best.

Peri likes Schnozmo because he makes silly noises and funny stories. But he prefers Blonda's theatrics much more and loves playing Dress Up with her.

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[reasonsforhope]

You don't need to believe that people as a whole are good or well-intentioned to be an optimist about fixing climate change.

A lot of the time, it's enough to trust in this: people hate being screwed over. And even more than that, they hate feeling screwed over.

Climate change is actively screwing over almost every single person on this planet, whether they know it or not. We just need to keep making sure that people do know that they're getting screwed over, along with all their loved ones, and who's doing it.

Spite and righteous anger will honestly do a lot of the rest.