#it's not a problem or anything I just find it funny

[asmuchasidliketo]

Many years ago, I owned a franchise tobacco shop. The one problem we had to handle almost daily were the prank phone calls. You know the kind. Being a tobacco shop, we got literally hundreds of these crank calls, usually all the same. For the uninitiated, it goes like this: Caller: “You got Sir Walter Raleigh in a can?” For reference, Sir Walter Raleigh is the name of a tobacco. Employee: “Yes, we do.” Caller: “Well, you’d better let him out before he suffocates. HAW HAW!” The callers are usually pubescent if not pre-pubescent and they always hang up before you can say anything in response. Now, this is before caller ID, so they feel rather bulletproof.  Not in my store.  My usual response is not to play along. We don’t, in fact, carry Sir Walter Raleigh Tobacco but just saying “No, sorry,” doesn’t seem enough. Sure, it shuts them down, and many times I try, “Oh, PUH-LEEEEZ! You are not really going with that tired joke, are you?” before hanging up. We also have an import tobacco named Three Nuns which comes in a small tin of four ounces. So, every now and then I respond, “No, but we do have Three Nuns in a four-ounce tin..” This usually gets us about fifteen seconds of dead phone before a click. The best time we ever had with the little guys comes one lazy summer afternoon when there are no customers, there’s no work to be done, and our minds are alive with ideas. The phone rings. Me: [Pipe Shop].” The caller has a high, squeaky voice, a dead giveaway that this is NOT a serious call. Caller: “Yes, sir. Do you have Sir Walter Raleigh in a can?” Oh, no, you don’t, kid! Me: “One moment.” Before the kid can respond, I put the phone down and holler loudly across the store. Me: “Hey, [Assistant Manager], we got Sir Walter Raleigh…” *dramatic pause* “…in a can?” Assistant Manager: “Does he want the three-ounce tin or the fourteen-ounce can?” Me: *To the caller* “Do you want the three-ounce tin or the fourteen-ounce can?” Caller: “The fourteen-ounce can. Do you have Sir Walter Raleigh in a fourteen-ounce can?” He feels that he has to repeat the key phrase for this to work. Me: “One moment.” Again, I set the phone down. Me: “[Assistant Manager], he wants the fourteen-ounce can.” I repeat the phrase, so that the kid can hear. Me: “We got Sir Walter Raleigh in the fourteen-ounce can?” Assistant Manager: “Aromatic or Regular?” Me: *To the phone* “Did you want the Regular or the Aromatic?” *Playing the good salesman* “The Regular is the Red Label and comes in a fourteen-ounce tin, whereas the Aromatic is the blue label and has only twelve ounces of tobacco.” The caller is becoming agitated now but strangely determined. Caller: “Uhh. Regular. Do you have Sir Walter Raleigh regular in a fourteen-ounce can?” Me: “One moment.” *Puts down the phone* “[Assistant Manager], he wants the Regular; we got any Sir Walter Raleigh Regular in the fourteen-ounce can?” We are both stifling giggles now. Assistant Manager: “Does he want the cross cut or the long cut?” Aha, he’s getting creative… Me: *To the phone* “Long cut or cross cut?” The kid is nearing the end of his patience and is nearly shouting into the phone. Caller: “EITHER ONE. DO YOU HAVE SIR WALTER RALEIGH IN A CAN?” He’s like a broken record. Me: “Okay, then let me get this right. You want the Sir Walter Raleigh, Regular — that’s with the Red Label — either long cut or cross cut, in the fourteen-ounce can, is that right?” Caller: “YES! YES! YES! DO YOU HAVE SIR WALTER RALEIGH IN A CAN?” Me: “Nope.” I hung up the phone. We would have loved to have seen the kid’s face after all that. We both broke down laughing so hard that security guards from the mall passing by had to come in and find out what was so funny.

Is your refrigerator running? Then you better go catch it. Sure sounded like a good idea ("they'll deliver themselves,") but now it's a huge pain in my ass. I'm a Fridge Runner.

Nobody thought of the consequences of mixing internet-of-things garbage with self-ambulatory refrigerators, until suddenly they came downstairs for breakfast and found that Belorussian crypto kings had stolen the eggs in the fridge – along with the fridge. Cops busted a warehouse yesterday that was just thousands of Maytags wandering around in a circle, beeping as their batteries ran low. Sent me out there to put them all down and bring them home.

People ask me what they can do to keep their fridge from getting jog-jacked. Really, the best thing you can do is to go find your own fridge when it decides to run an unexpected half-marathon. If you just now noticed it's gone, it probably hasn't gotten far. Ramming through the nearest exterior wall or window slows them down quite a bit, and they lack hands to operate fence gates. Stairs? Not great at those either, if I'm honest. Calling the technical support people to send someone like me out after it is going to take a couple extra days, minimum, and by then your entire vegetable crisper will be a write-off, even if I can catch it before it crosses the state border and becomes a legal voting citizen.

We've got it barely handled for now, and there is some good news. Ovens and microwaves are pretty light, so they haven't added legs to those suckers yet. I can only imagine how many people would be having a bad morning if their gas range decided to go walkabout. They will add legs one day, though. They always do.

[omgfangirlland]

The Shadows That Nurture 20

This one is a bit shorter than the last 🫠

Masterlist || First || previous<< Chapter 20 >>next(TBC)

The interaction between you and Nolan was still awkward. It was weird to see him this soft and you still felt on edge like you couldn’t quite believe all it took for him to try and do better was some talking to- Bruce didn’t even let you say more than a sentence in his presence, let alone get emotional about things and try to have a conversation about it.

Overall, the past week you’ve been kind of disassociating while working on rebuilding, occupying your time with that and helping Andressa take care of the baby, occasionally texting Debbie anything from updates to “I miss you”, to “I miss your food”, to cute pictures of the little menace being funny, kept you somewhat present-minded.

Your eyes drifted to Andressa, who has been aging more and more. Her movements were slowing down, she was getting more tired, and she was having more problems with her joints. You noticed that with everyone. The kids who helped you sometimes were now teens, the babies were slowly becoming toddlers, and yet your little brother was still in the baby range.

Andressa calling your name brought you back to reality. Your eyes meet as she sighs, sitting on an armchair while you keep playing with her baby’s hair, twirling it into spikes and horns. “I… I need to ask a big favor out of you and your family.” She starts softly, her finger tapping nervously. You stop and give her all the attention as she continues speaking.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Debbie’s day has been… better. It’s all getting better. Slowly, but she’s getting there. She wanted to be petty and give Nolan’s things away, but she had a feeling he’d be coming back with you and Mark, so she did the next best thing and moved his stuff into the smallest bedroom. Well, it was more of an office with a beat-up couch; he didn’t deserve an actual bedroom.

And in hindsight, she was glad she did. “Well… he is cute.” She concedes while smiling softly as the toddler cooed up at her, all coddled up in her lap. Her hand gently ran across his small back. Andressa just smiles. “Thank you. And thank you for wanting to hear me out and for letting me into your home. I know I’m asking for a lot, for way too much even considering everything- but Nolan isn’t exactly the best at being present enough for a kid.”

Debbie laughed at that. “Yeah, I know. Can’t count the times I had to step in for things he promised Mark.” You smiled softly as the two women got along, laughing at Nolan’s actions and awkwardness towards raising the babies. “Well, I’ll leave you two to it. I’ve gotta go back and make sure the men don’t find us plotting against them.” You joked while opening a portal.

“Bye, sweetheart, make sure your brother eats lunch! Oh, was Nolan scared of holding him? Because he was terrified of holding Mark as a baby- you should have seen him- I think I have some photos-“ You snickered, finally leaving the two to their gossiping.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Mark and Nolan were too busy helping rebuild buildings to notice you and Andressa being missing. Granted, some men are the biggest gossipers known to mankind. “Yeah, so your dear daughter took a plate of these mini cakes and just smashed it across Bruce’s face- mushing it around. Lex was having a field day. It was so weird to see him so genuinely happy.”

“Is there video footage of it? I would love to see that.” Nolan laughs along. “Dude, there’s so much footage- Lex has like fifteen to thirty cameras in a room, he made compilations of it!” Mark looks at the smiling man. “He even had a camera in the buttons of his suit. He gave that first-row view of the cake smash to the highest bidder.”

“And he still shares the memes on his social media.” Your voice cut through their laughter, making the young man snort. “No! He still does? Is he set on never making Bruce forget that?” Nolan looks at his cackling son. “Would you let the man forget that?” His smirk only gets wider as his son beams with a no.

Nolan gently nudged you away as he told Mark to take a break. “We need to talk.” You pouted at his words while landing on a rooftop. “We talked.” Your grumble was met with a raised eyebrow. “No. We fought, and then you interrogated me about the Justice League.” He chides. “We need to have a serious talk.”

The old Viltrumite could see the nervousness and doubt in you. So, he wanted to make sure you knew where you stood. “I know my actions hurt you in ways I don’t think will be fully salvageable. I won’t try to justify myself, I won’t try to tell you that you’re wrong for feeling any negative sentiments towards me. You have every right to because you are correct in your points. I was a coward, I should have gone to the guardians and faced their ire. I should have trusted that you and Mark had my back.”

“No matter what, if you hate me, if you don’t want to see me again, you’ll always be my daughter, my baby.” The hand he put on your shoulder was warm and slightly shaky, betraying how nervous he actually felt. “I’ll always be in your corner, no matter what, no matter how hard you try to push me away. I’ll make sure to repent for my mistakes towards you, Mark, and Debbie for the rest of my life.”

“Stop it.” You sniff. “You’ll make me cry again. And damn right you’ll repent for what you did. I’ll make sure of it.” He smiles as you gently slap his arm. “I’ll hold you to it.” His eyebrows furrowed, asking if you had seen Andressa since she hadn’t come to check up on them in a while. “She’s taking a nap. Don’t disturb your baby mama, ass.” You roll your eyes while lifting off the ground, flying away as the man pouts.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Harvey Dent raised an eyebrow at the message he received, a shit-eating grin overtaking his mug. “Looks like our little magic girl is coming back to the planet in a few days. With a few stowaways.” Two-Face shows the message to Jason. “How mad do you think Bruce will be?”

Jason just gives the man an evil smile. “Very.” The young man almost purrs as he begins giggling, laughing as if he was snorting Joker Gas. Roy Harper just looks at the scene with a shaky smile. “Ok… I think I need someone to spill some tea about what’s happening.” Harvey just scoffs. “Take a seat if you really want to know. It’s a long story.”

Roy just shrugs, pulling the chair out and dropping into it. "I think you're just exaggerating there, law man." That seems to only make Jason laugh harder, creating doubt into the young father. "Oh- you'll regret saying that by the time we're done." Our favorite crime lord counters, snickering as he pours his friend a glass of whiskey.

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[elodieunderglass]

I can't resist bothering you with more questions. I'm sorry! I want to put Killie in a basket and carry him around with me like a purse dog. Did Charlie always know that he wasn't going to be a horse pilot forever and that he would find a way out of his family's net, or was he never going to escape if him being kicked out hadn't forced him into it? My heart breaks for him a bit, even though he seems the most well-adjusted person in that family. How old was he when he ended up on his own?

(In reference to Killie the jockey OC, crown prince of a horse-obsessed family, and his identical twin brother Charlie, who was disowned/ escaped the orbit of the Horse Planet)

You are never a bother. Nobody could be anything but grateful to have such insightful, brave, witty and inspiring people to talk about their OCs with! Are you kidding?

That’s such a good and deep question - I don’t think that Charlie knows the answer himself. He certainly was quite a talented apprentice jockey. In terms of his place in the family, his parents and siblings all adored him - he is warm and charming and funny - and thought they understood him. He has that special child-of-rotten-parents survival-mode sensitivity to reading a room, that in Charlie translates into useful skills, like “changing the mood of the room” and “sensing what people want him to say”.

But Charlie has a strong sense of identity, and with it, a hard internal limit on personal sacrifice; there are parts of Charlie you can’t have.

And despite being a fifth-generation jockey of impeccable pedigree, the whole “stoic, fearless, impervious to pain” thing appears to be a state of mind - not a physiology thing, but a mental one, engendered by passion for the sport. Charlie has had passages of his life where he’s carried off the Jockey Constitution (TM), but a problem with armouring yourself with a mental state is that if you are an especially clever little liar yourself, like Charlie, you catch on to the trick.

And the sport is inextricable from the horses in their family. So Charlie stormed out (was thrown out) of both family and sport… but I think he does like horses and he was good at it. And it would’ve been hard, in that family, in that immersive and passionate world, to break out naturally - especially when you are so beautifully built for it. It would again come down to Charlie’s strong sense of self.

I think a lot of his sense of identity and resistance came, early on, from connecting honestly with his bisexuality. He’s clever and sneaky, and likes mind games and code-switching and putting on characters, and when he realised the necessity of masking early on, it felt like a secret identity. He was simply Built Different, and couldn’t change it, so he made a game of tap-dancing on the tightrope.

Then he left to build that secret identity into his real self, on purpose, and he threw himself into The Opposite of Being a Jockey. He was not only the first in their family to go to university, he went into academia. He covered his bills by bartending and busking (take that, Dad). He eats cake. He is valued for his mind and brain. He is NOT COMPETITIVE AT ALL. HE’S COLLABORATIVE, EVEN.

…He was just about eighteen. And perhaps it affected him more deeply than he’d say. But what saved him - what always would save Charlie - was a sense of identity.

[maxdibert]

Have you got in mind some pros and cons for dating Lily, Severus and any of the Marauders since they all seem so interested in the dating topic?

This is interesting lol . Let's dive into it. I promise not to be too harsh and try to be objective:

Severus Snape:

Pros:

He will never cheat on you in your life. In fact, he probably won't look at anyone else for the rest of his life. If he loves you, it's just you, no one else.

He would probably kill for you, or make the world burn for you, or betray everyone for you, or generally do anything morally questionable for you.

He’s total "malewife" material and has zero fragile masculinity.

You’d have a potions master at home, so a huge part of your life would be sorted. Got a headache? He has a potion for that. Feeling sick? Also. Looking like shit and need something to make you look radiant? Count on it.

Cons:

He has a terrible temper and probably many depressive episodes, if you don’t know how to deal with that, you’ll probably dump him quickly.

Don’t expect him to talk about his problems or open up emotionally, because he’s basically incapable of managing his emotions maturely, so be prepared to hit a wall every time there’s a conflict.

Socially awkward, don’t expect him to attend any parties or social events willingly or interact with the neighbors—he finds that utterly disgusting, it’s just not his thing.

He’s slightly experienced, so if you try to lie to him, he’ll know, and that sucks because everyone deserves mental privacy, but considering he’s terribly insecure, we can’t rule out that he might do it just to avoid losing his mind over any doubt.

His way of confronting emotional problems is by not confronting them. He’s a master at avoidance with a terribly disorganized attachment style, so be prepared because he’s a textbook neurodivergent.

Lily Evans:

Pros:

She will get along great with your friends because she knows how to charm and socialize, so she’ll shine at any social event you take her to.

If you have kids, she won’t mind staying at home while you go out for beers with your buddies, so if you're a shitty parent or partner who doesn't understand the concept of task division, you're in luck because she’ll handle everything.

She’s a very skilled witch, so that’s great in case there's a dangerous situation and you're a bit useless.

She’ll forgive almost anything you do, unless you use dark magic, so you could, I don’t know, rob a bank, and as long as you didn’t use an unforgivable curse, she might let it slide.

Cons:

She’ll probably dump you if she thinks you’re no longer... let’s say... useful or beneficial in some way.

If you tell her about some serious issue, but it doesn’t affect any of her friends or people she likes, she might gaslight you massively about it, even if it’s about an attempted murder.

She tends to get along with shady people as long as those shady people benefit her, so be careful with her friendships.

She hates being contradicted on anything and will probably shut you up or make a huge scene if you dare to contradict her or tell her she's wrong or that something she thinks isn’t true.

James Potter:

Pros:

He’s rich.

You’ll never have to work again in your life because he’s rich.

Cons:

He thinks it's funny to strip people in public and suffocate them against their will.

He thinks it’s funny to hex people and cast forbidden spells just because it amuses him.

He thinks it’s a good idea to leave his pregnant or recently postpartum wife at home in the middle of a war while he goes and acts like a fool with his best friend.

You’ll have to put up with his best friend 24/7 in your house whether you want to or not, because they’re practically one person.

He probably won’t help at all with household chores, but hey, he brings the money and the house, right? That’s enough.

He’s the typical guy whose greatest achievements happened in his school years, and he’ll probably spend the next 50 years of his life talking about them because he’ll never do anything else worth mentioning.

His greatest interests are hanging out with his friends and sports, and hanging out with his friends and sports again. As you can see, he’s intellectually super interesting.

Any person with an average intellect would get bored of him after two months, but hey, if you give him a kid, you’ll have guaranteed alimony, so if that’s your goal, go ahead (this could also be a pro).

Sirius Black:

Pros:

You’re going to have some awesome parties. Seriously, he’s the best for going out, getting drunk, doing some lines, and having an amazing time.

Always up for adventures, so trips and getaways are guaranteed. If you’re into that, he’s perfect.

He’s rich, so there will never be a shortage of money for a luxury getaway or spending tons at a casino in Monte Carlo or Las Vegas.

He’d fight anyone who dared to bother you. Which isn’t very healthy, but there’s a positive side to it.

He might be an absolute jerk, but with the people he cares about, he’s a great guy, and if he loves you, he’ll be faithful and be there for everything.

Cons:

Mommy issues. Seriously, huge ones. He’ll constantly talk about how much he hated or hates his mother, literally 40 minutes of conversation about that every single day. “My mom this, my mom that.” It can get exhausting.

He feels so smug about leaving his extreme-right family, and he’ll remind you of it eighty times a day while at the same time laughing at people who can’t dress a certain way because they don’t have money or mistreating the staff because they served him something wrong.

He has an unresolved, codependent relationship with his best friend. He’s literally obsessed with him, and he’ll spend the day talking about him, and you’ll never know if he’s really with you or just with you because he can’t be with James.

Yeah, you’ll have a great time partying with him, but there will be plenty of times when he goes overboard, leaves you hanging, and you won’t hear from him for days because he’s a fucking irresponsible jerk.

He has the emotional maturity of a 15-year-old, so whenever you try to confront him maturely or have an adult conversation, he’ll get super defensive, and when he feels you’ve really gotten under his skin, he’ll hop on his bike and leave.

100% chance you’ll have to go get him out of jail more than once for some crazy thing he did.

You don’t have a boyfriend; you have a son

Remus Lupin:

Pros:

He’s quite nice and pleasant.

He’ll probably do anything you want as long as you don’t leave him, because he’s terrified of rejection.

He has more common sense than the rest of his friends.

You can have an interesting conversation with him, unlike his friends who only talk about sports and pretty annoying heteronormative stuff.

Cons:

The minute there’s a problem, he’ll run away.

He might leave you two hundred times and come back begging you two hundred times, emotionally blackmailing you into getting back with him.

He might get you pregnant and when you tell him, he’ll leave you.

He might just leave you in general, so you’ll never have a stable and healthy relationship for your mental health because you’ll always live with the fear that he’ll leave you.

He spends his days lamenting about how miserable he is and how badly life’s treating him, but he never tries to solve his problems and always blames his illness, not the fact that he’s a conformist who doesn’t look for solutions.

His friends can do the worst shit in the world, and he’ll never confront them.

You’re literally dating a coward.

Peter Pettigrew:

Pros:

He’s very nice, like Remus.

Always said hello.

Always kind to the neighbors.

Always bought you flowers and had little gestures for you.

He celebrated all your successes as if they were his own, your biggest fan and support in everything.

Cons:

He’s probably spent your entire relationship hiding bodies in the basement of your house.

[fyi-its-about-to-get-bi]

I’m pretty sure it was a fic that had the original idea of Danny living in an apartment and his neighbor is finding out about his ghost powers and summoning him and jokingly treating him like their God/worshiping him.

I think it would be so funny if it expanded to all of Amity Park and it’s just like a inside joke the whole town just commits to the bit. And outsiders think holy shit this is a massive cult . They could get investigated you know someone could be like oh my gosh I visited this town and they worship some floating being and I don’t know how it would get on the radar of a hero or maybe the heroes family visits or something. The town just holds out on the bit Without explaining anything even after authorities are there just to make it Danny‘s problem. 

[criminallyvenomous]

Anytime, Always - Spencer Reid X Reader (part four)

part three story masterlist

•Plot - When Dr. Reid came to speak at your University, you were thrilled. A big-time F.B.I. agent at your own school, how could you resist? Soon, that wasn’t the only thing you couldn’t resist. Random meet ups and nights together were fun at first, but when he started guest lecturing on a regular? That was a whole new experience.

•Ship - Spencer Reid X Reader

•Fandom - Criminal Minds

•Warnings - Age gap (legal consenting adults), Alcohol, Fluff, Eventual smut, Pining, and of course a warning you might fall for Spence even harder post reading)

•Word Count - 569

•A/N - ik its short im sorry!!! it was hard to find a stopping point. still working on the longer next chapter but second session classes started this week at my uni and im still catching up on midterms so im swamped lmao. its also hard bc im debating smut or not in that chapter. six will be the start of prof! spence tho..

~

This was all new to Spencer. He hadn’t ever done something so ‘casual’. He hadn’t even ever had sex with someone who he didn’t really care for, not that he wasn’t starting to care for you. It’s just that drinking and sleeping together was more of a Derek Morgan thing, not a Spencer Reid thing. He’s beginning to think he’s in over his head. Maybe he should just call up the ‘ladykiller’ while you’re getting the Chinese.

“What’s up, playa?”

“Hey, Morgan. I think I’m a little out of my depth here.” Spencer admitted.

“What do you mean? You’re just visiting a ‘friend’, aren’t you?” He teased.

“I, um, may have-“

“I know, kid. What’s the problem?” Derek interrupted.

“I’ve never done something like this before.” Spencer confessed.

“Oh come on, you’ve had sex before, Spence.”

“I meant doing something so ‘relax’, something so casual.”

“Well, how did it happen the first time?”

“A good amount of alcohol.” Spencer said, making Derek chuckle.

“That’s called liquid courage, my friend. Well, do you like her?”

“Yeah, she’s great. It’s just that she’s young and we’re not like a couple or anything.” All Derek heard was the age comment.

“How young?” Derek pry-ed, Spencer could basically see his face right now.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just gonna go.” Spencer was defeated, unsure of what to do.

“Hey, don’t put so much pressure on it. Just feel it out and do what feels right.”

“I have no idea how to do that.” Spencer chuckled and Derek did too.

“I know, kid. Just try. I mean, the date’s been going well, right?”

“Yeah, it’s been great.”

“Then don’t change anything. You’re great as you are, Reid.”

With the boost of confidence from his much more experienced friend, Spencer tried to swallow his pride. Plus, he was definitely going to seriously consider the ‘liquid courage’ that helped him out last time.

“Garlic tofu with rice for two and as many spring rolls we could get.” You did a little ‘ta-da’ motion as you approached the doctor.

“It smells amazing, it’s interesting though. This restaurant is supposed to be Chinese but has Vietnamese and Japanese options on the menu, like Pho and Ramen.” Spencer analyzed.

“You’re right. I guess most Americans don’t really notice the difference.”

~

“Awh, is this for me?” You asked as you took off your shoes along with Spencer.

The two of you went up to his hotel room on the third floor, upon entering you saw two stemmed glasses and a nice bottle of white wine on the nightstand.

“I asked room service for it. I figured it would be a step-up from the mini-fridge screw top.” He stated, walking up to pour the wine. You put your hand on his back.

“You’re the best, Spence.” You smiled, then realized. “Sorry, I meant Spencer. It just slipped out.”

“Don’t apologize. My friends call me that, too. Have to say, though, it sounds better coming from you.” He turned to hand you your glass.

God, he was sweet, funny, smart, and downright gorgeous. You didn’t care if you’d be stuck with meeting up every few months for a day or night together, it’d be worth it. You took a drink from your glass and looked over to Spencer.

“That’s so much better.” You both laughed and set the glass down on the nightstand closest to you.

[radiojamming]

Hades game brain rot hell yeah!! Could you do uhhh Odysseys maybe meeting Achilles and Patroclus? Idk who would fanboy over who tbh lmao

OH BOY OH BOY I've thought about this scenario way too many times :)

AU I guess where Melinoë brings people back from the House of Hades? Or Elysium? idk but she's doing it! (And background OdyDio because if I don't put Diomedes in something like this I will just simply die.)

❧ ❧ ❧

There's a joke in the upper world that goes like: Odysseus of Ithaka walks into a taverna. He asks the taverna keeper who a seat at the best table is reserved for.

"Nobody," says the taverna keeper.

"Oh, good!" says Odysseus, and he takes a seat.

---

The night Achilles and Patroclus come to the war camp in Erebus, Odysseus tries his damnedest to find something to do, very far away. Some chart that needs updating, a contact in the Mourning Fields that just might have new information—anything to keep him out of the camp.

Of course, this is all taking place during a short period of calm. Melinoë only retrieved his old comrades because she, once more, defeated Chronos. This latest defeat caused some strange effect that no one—not even Hecate—could understand. Suddenly, those frozen figures standing at the edge of the House trembled, one of the Titan of Time's spells broke, and some of his captives were released.

On the other end, only a night before that, Melinoë sent Typhon crashing down the slopes of Olympus.

It's all to say that unfortunately, Odysseus has nothing to do. Damn it.

Fortunately, Achilles and Patroclus take up post in the taverna until they're given more permanent accommodations. Even with the small stockpile of nectar that Melinoë's given him practically singing his name like particular insistent sirens, Odysseus keeps well clear of the place. When Achilles comes up to Hecate's circle, Odysseus suddenly finds enormous interest in one of Melinoë's garlic plants.

One of the little green shades makes a noise of confusion as he approaches, and then scoots away to find refuge under Hypnos' hammock.

Odysseus can't say that this isn't like him. If there was a patron god of avoiding problems, it might as well be him. Pray to me, you great procrastinators of Greece, he thinks as he checks under the garlic plant's spindly leaves for... well, anything.

The problem is, he can't think of a way to solve this. He is good at avoiding his problems, but he's just as good at finding creative solutions. Traveling in disguise, lying, getting alarmingly naked as a distraction, more lying—he's gotten quite good at this over the years.

But it's Achilles and Patroclus. And, collectively, they are very much dead. Odysseus isn't the sort of shade that can will himself to disappear in an instant, and of the two of his comrades, one of them is the son of a goddess. If they want to hunt him down, he's sure he'll be skewered by next moonrise.

Talking himself out of it isn't likely. Ah, yes, very sorry that I personally saw to it that you two got involved in the war that would ultimately kill you. It was, as the younger shades often say, my bad.

No, that won't go well.

When he spends too much time staring at the garlic and feeling that distinct sense of eyes on the back of his neck, he switches over to take enormous interest in one of Melinoë's horrible little mandrakes. Yes, it is well worth a ponder, and he simply cannot turn around for any reason whatsoever when he hears the distinct sound of footsteps.

Light, dancer-like footsteps. There is only one man he knows capable of that kind of gait.

"Laertiades?"

Odysseus, to his credit, doesn't freeze up. He just pokes and prods the leaf of that godsawful little plant and pretends that it's the most interesting thing in the world. He will not face Achilles.

And Achilles, to his credit, is... patient. Which is certainly not a word synonymous with the Achilles he knows.

Funny word, that. Patient. Makrothumia, meaning 'long of temper'.

"Odysseus."

Ah. First names.

He stands up to his full height, turning to face Achilles with the most pleasant smile he can possibly muster. Think, Odysseus! his brain practically shouts. You're clever! You're incredibly clever! Smartest of the Achaeans!

Actually, that was probably Diomedes, but he digresses. What he needs is a plan.

And what would Diomedes do?

"Ah, hello," Odysseus says pleasantly. "To whom do I have the honor of addressing?"

Not that.

Achilles—and yes, that is most certainly him, almost the same as Odysseus remembers except with a lightness to him that he did not carry on the fields of Troy—stares at him. He opens his mouth to speak twice, but closes it both times. Although Athena was not Achilles' patron goddess, Odysseus can still see the man's mind working.

Then, carefully, "I am addressing Odysseus, son of Laertes, yes?"

"Indeed, that you do."

Green eyes narrow. A test, then. "And does Odysseus, son of Laertes, recall Achilles, son of Peleus?"

Stupidly, stupidly, Odysseus leans into the worst plot his mind has ever malfunctioned upon. "Achilles, you say?" he replies, putting great effort into tapping his chin with his forefinger, staring up at Selene—who is most certainly judging him—in deep thought. "I can't say I recall the name. Peleus, yes. He was an Argonaut, if memory serves."

Deep in the recesses of his mind, he can practically see Penelope shaking her head at him. You beautiful, stupid man, she would say.

Achilles stares a moment longer, then briefly looks disappointed. Finally, he nods once at Odysseus. "My apologies, Laertiades," he replies. He puts a hand up to his heart, an old gesture from a time Odysseus is sure both of them would rather forget.

And when in the gods' names was Achilles ever apologetic?

Before Odysseus can form another idiotic reply, Patroclus calls Achilles' name from the entrance of the taverna. Achilles turns on instinct, then briefly glances back at Odysseus.

"Another time then," he says.

And then, fleet of foot as always, he's gone.

Odysseus watches him leave, watches him embrace Patroclus with one arm. Watches them blissfully happy, the way shades aren't often allowed to be.

Mentally, Odysseus kicks himself. Then he gives himself two more kicks for good measure—once for Diomedes, and once for Penelope.

---

The denizens of the Crossroads rarely sleep—Hypnos excluded. When they do, it's done in quick cat naps. Brief meetings with short-lived dreams chased in the longer shadows of the night. Odysseus, despite having his own quarters and a bed far too comfortable for a shade to use, makes very few attempts to sleep. He doesn't technically need it, but for a shade of a mortal who spent quite a bit of his life asleep, something in him still looks for the first hook of sleep out of instinct.

Tonight, in an attempt to keep away from his old comrades, he tries to sleep.

Shades dream in strange ways. Of course they do. Rather than the twisting, abstract dreams of the living, shades dream in memory.

In this one, Odysseus is sitting in his hut at Troy, legs stretched out beside the longer legs of Diomedes.

"It was never going to work," Diomedes tells him. He taps one sandal against one of Odysseus'. "You know that."

"I know," Odysseus hears himself say. This old script.

"Yet you went, regardless."

He nods, stares down at the scar on his leg, the scars on Diomedes'. As close as the two of them are now, he still doesn't know where all of those scars came from.

"It was an attempt at peace. A stupid attempt, to be sure, but Agamemnon was insistent."

At this, Diomedes scoffs. It's a well-kept secret between the two of them—most of the Achaeans see Diomedes as a loyal attack dog. Very few know that his tolerance of Agamemnon hangs on by the merest thread. Argos and Mycenae are two angry cats waiting for an excuse to scratch each other to shreds, he once said.

In the distance, they can hear the crackling fire and the unhappy murmur of Odysseus' men. No one is pleased with the result of the offer to Achilles, least of all Odysseus.

Quietly, Odysseus says, "What do you think will happen?"

Diomedes shrugs. "If you're looking for an oracle, I think you're better off talking to Calchas."

"I'm not talking to Calchas. I'm talking to you."

Diomedes is silent for a long moment. Then, he sighs and reaches across to twist one index finger around Odysseus' finger. "There is what I guess, and what I know. I know Achilles will refuse until something terrible happens. Everyone has a breaking point, and there will come a day where he finally reaches his."

Odysseus raises his eyebrows. "And your guess?"

Silence. Long, miserable silence. Those are becoming more common in this camp by the day. Then, Diomedes squeezes his finger, and Odysseus returns the gesture without a thought.

"I think his breaking point will be Patroclus."

The moment the last syllable fills the tent, Odysseus jerks awake.

He lays there on his too-comfortable camp bed, staring at the star-flecked canvas of his tent. Outside, shades whisper, nightbirds call, branches shiver and creak in the wind.

Slowly, Odysseus lifts his hand over his head, staring at his index finger. He can still feel that phantom of pressure of Diomedes' hand on his. Experimentally, he flexes the finger out, then in. Then, he drops his whole hand to cover his eyes.

"Shit," he tells no one in particular.

---

Melinoë brings back more shades on her next attempt in Tartarus. More human-shaped Elysium types. Odysseus can see a few that appear familiar, but for the life (death?) of him, he can't put a name to a ghostly face. Few shades have the strength of character to retain their shape after death. He and his comrades are exceptions.

Achilles and Patroclus seem to take it upon themselves to train these shades to form some kind of militia. Commander Schelemeus is in charge of the more shapeless, characterless brigade. These shades, though, can actually follow orders and know how to hold a weapon for more than a few seconds.

In a perfect world where Odysseus wasn't constantly trying to jam a foot in his too-quick mouth, he'd be helping.

During one of these training sessions, he watches with thinly-veiled interest. It's just another sign of how much has changed that Achilles is actually trying to teach someone how to move as he does. He has so much more patience, a gentleness to him that he never had in life unless it was for Patroclus. His voice is lower, softer, like he's speaking to a small child.

"He's a wonder, isn't he?" says a voice that most certainly doesn't belong to Achilles.

If he was another man, Odysseus would clear jump out of his skin. Melinoë's voice isn't the sort that surprises anyone, but the suddenness of it, the presence of her where there was nothing before—by the gods, he really is losing his edge.

He clears his throat, seeing saffron-and-wheat come into his periphery. "Indeed, goddess," he says.

"He trained my brother, you know," she goes on. He turns enough to see that hazy look in her eyes, the same that always appears when she talks about her family. "My father took him on as a house servant almost as soon as he'd died. I can scarcely imagine what it would have been like to train with him."

"Mm."

"You knew him well, didn't you?"

That shade of Penelope that constantly thrives in Odysseus' mind is giving him that look. Your lie is about to implode, my love.

"As well as anyone knows any legend, I suppose," he replies, stiffer than he'd like.

There is a long, blissful moment where Odysseus can almost fool himself into thinking the conversation is over. But Melinoë—clever girl—says, "You're being unusually quiet, Od."

He's too well-trained in the deceptive arts to stiffen up or shift uncomfortably. Instead, he offers her one of his best 'trust me' smiles. Historically, it's worked on everyone except Penelope and Diomedes.

"It's nothing, goddess," he says. Puts his hand over his heart for good measure. Then, a quick lie just to put a tack in it, "Just mulling over reports of enemy forces, is all. A bit much on my mind at the moment, I'm afraid."

Another moment. For one second, Odysseus thinks she's onto him. It might be a trick of Selene's light, but her red eye seems to dilate when she regards him. Like the judgment of her father.

Then, "Reports? What kind? Should I be concerned?"

If he were less in control of himself, he'd breathe out a sigh of relief. Instead, he keeps his smile in place and gestures to his table covered in its ever-present charts. "Let's have a look, shall we?"

---

Another dream. A hazy memory stained gold in Ithakan sunlight.

Penelope's hands in his hair, combing through the strands. She's humming a song that's achingly familiar, like a lullaby she sang for Telemachus when he was still a baby. She stops for a moment, smooths a thumb over a curl of hair, and laughs. It's a low, delightfully warm sound that Odysseus will never, ever tire of.

He smiles lazily, one hand reaching over to run a finger down her perfect wrist. "What's so funny, my love?" he asks.

She leans down and kisses his forehead, and he leans up to meet her halfway. "Twenty years," she says against his skin. "Twenty years and yet you still have this cowlick exactly where I left it."

Her fingers trace the spot in question, and Odysseus preens under her touch.

In that moment—as quick, fleeting, and blinding as one of Zeus' thunderbolts—he understands why Achilles did what he did. He would die a hundred times over for Penelope; he'd destroy the whole Trojan army by himself for her. Only a week ago did the servants get the last bloodstain out of the tapestries on the walls in the megaron—the last trace of evidence of those damnable suitors. Odysseus has heard the people of Ithaka calling it a massacre.

If you had her for a wife, he thinks. You would have done the same thing.

And then he thinks, unbidden, of Achilles returning to the war camp with Hector tied to the back of his chariot. Achilles, wearing the blood of Hector like a pelt, his eyes wide and rimmed in miserable red. He didn't tremble as he stepped down off the chariot, didn't allow his servants to wash the blood off his skin. I want to remember it, Achilles had said. Let me remember that I killed that man.

Penelope kisses him again, this time between his eyes. "You're thinking too much, again," she says. "That little line is back."

"Which? I've got more than one now."

She kisses it again and again, quick little pecks that draw him out of his memories and back into her embrace. "The only one from before," she says. "I'm trying to make it go away."

He lets her keep trying.

---

Melinoë is back at his table. It must be serious, as she hasn't gone to her little garden patch yet. Her hands are on her hips, watching him as he approaches from speaking with Hecate about adjusting the parameters of the warding spells.

"Goddess," he says, hand on his heart once more. Even feeling her two-toned stare on him like a physical weight, he approaches her as easily as ever. "Reports say you thrashed Typhon properly again. Undoubtedly you have a good story to tell of it?"

"I do," she says. Her voice, though, is more steely and level than he's heard in a long while. Oh no.

He raises his eyebrows anyway. "But?"

A longer stare. She's clearly inherited a family trait for intimidation, small as she is. "You lied to Achilles," she says.

Ah.

"Pardon?" is all he can think to reply.

"I spoke to him and Patroclus in the taverna earlier. He's not at all like he was in your stories, but when I asked him about that, he said you told him you had no memory of him. I know that's not true." That glare gets a little sharper. "What were you thinking, Od? Why lie to him?"

Ah, yes. That familiar sensation of getting caught in a snare of his own making. I owe you another drachma, Diomedes, he thinks.

And he thinks a little harder. His instinct is to get out of this somehow—lie and twist words over words until the whole situation is gathered up into a nice manageable package that he can promptly throw far, far away.

But Melinoë is looking at him in a way she's never looked at him before. Ever since she was young, she's always regarded him with expressions ranging between wide-eyed awe and pure delight. He's trained her in the art of smug satisfaction and mischievous conspiracy. This look, though, makes a bitter feeling haunt the back of his tongue. This look tells him that he's well and truly done something wrong.

No. He can't lie to her.

He briefly looks away, toward the opening to the taverna where he knows his old comrades are still lingering. They have their accommodations now, suitable as any in a war camp. However, they linger there and speak to the shades that come and go, sipping at the nectar that Melinoë brings them.

Odysseus could be over there, but he isn't.

"Not here, goddess," he finally says. He offers a grin just this side of sad, a tug at the corner of his mouth that feels sharp as a fishhook. He can't say what he wants to say within earshot of Nemesis or the eavesdropping Eris. That's literally asking for trouble by name. "The baths, I think, are pleasant this time of night, aren't they?"

Melinoë nods, understanding immediately. "They are," she agrees.

---

He tells her everything. The stories he withheld when she was a child—the sort that aren't suitable for the ears of children, even if those children happen to be gods.

"I framed the man who pulled me into the war, got him caught for treason, had him executed knowing full well that he did nothing of the sort," he says. Even though he's a shade, the water of the baths seems to scald his skin. There's some purifying element, he's sure. Burning away some of those old, angry lies that have lingered inside of him like festering, gangrenous wounds. "All this I did because I loathed the man. He took me away from my wife and son, but I— I was the one who suggested the oath for Helen in the first place. What right did I have to be angry?"

Melinoë sits in thoughtful silence. She isn't look at him with judgement of any kind, but rather that open inquisitive look she takes on when she's learning from her headmistress. Honestly, he wishes she'd judge him. That would be easier.

"You had a right," she says. "I can't say for certain how mortals feel, but I'm fighting the very forces that tore my family apart."

"Indeed, goddess. But this man didn't hide my family away, or attack them. All he did was remind me of my oath, and he forced me to acknowledge my own lie that I made to get out of that oath."

Thankfully, she only nods.

He goes on, shifting his gaze from her to the surface of the water. Selene's moonlight glints on it, shimmering like a silver disc. He feels vulnerable under her light now, knowing who she is and what she's capable of.

"I was the one who did the same to Achilles and Patroclus. Patroclus took the oath as well, even though he was a child. I knew that if one of them went somewhere, the other had to follow. So I brought them into the war." More bitterly, "I was the one who led them to their destruction. If I was angry enough at Palamedes to get him killed by his own men, I can only imagine how Achilles and Patroclus feel about me."

Of all the responses he expects out of Melinoë, a hand resting on his arm isn't one of them. She's not the most tactile goddess, and her upbringing under Hecate hasn't made her particularly soft. But her grip is strong and reassuring, and her gaze is firm. "Odysseus," she says. His whole name. She never does this. Then, even more firm, the command of a goddess, "Talk to them."

Whether it's her natural abilities as a goddess or some wall inside of himself that's wanted to break down for a while, he feels beyond compelled to follow her instruction. Still, he asks, "Why? What can I possibly say to them after leading them to their deaths?"

Her hand doesn't move from his arm. "Have you changed since you died?"

"I... Yes, I suppose so?" He doesn't mean for it to come out like a question, but he wouldn't be Odysseus if he didn't secretly doubt himself as a rule.

"Then why would you think they haven't changed either?"

He doesn't reply. He can't.

Melinoë's expression softens. "Talk to them, Od," she repeats, a little quieter.

He will.

By this goddess in particular, he will.

---

Odysseus of Ithaka walks into a taverna.

He sees Achilles of Phthia and Patroclus of Opus sitting at the best table, splitting a bottle of ambrosia between the two of them and smiling warmly at each other like no time has passed.

Odysseus approaches and gestures to the open seat at their table. "Who is this reserved for?" he asks.

His two old comrades look at him, dumbfounded, and then slowly both expressions turn into something fond. Patroclus is, as always, a little more reserved. Achilles smile is open in a way it never was when he was alive.

"It's reserved for King Odysseus of Ithaka, I think," says Patroclus.

"But only if he remembers us," says Achilles, like a joke.

Why would you think they haven't changed either?

Odysseus smiles and pulls the chair out for himself. "Oh, good," he says.

And he takes a seat.

[elenasalvatore1]

No I don’t hate true love. But hinny doesn’t have anything common with true love at all.

and Harmony really means true love

SISTER ARGUMENT🙄

it is funny to read “described as sister”

Harry thought that Ginny was like his little sister. And he said it in HBP book. He said that :

“his feelings for Ginny were entirely elder-brotherly. They had lived, had they not, like brother and sister all summer, playing Quidditch, teasing Ron, and having a laugh about Bill and Phlegm”

So Harry thought his emotions was “elder-brotherly”

And than you used “sister arguments” against Harmony. It is just hypocrisy

Harry and Hermione aren’t siblings. I can say that Ginny is like a sister to Harry ( and he called her like that) . She is a girl from his surrogate family, has similarities with Lily and bad features of James character. She even plays at James position.

So Harry is Hermione’s brother to the same extent as Hinny is an incest.

All the siblings' arguments go Harmony were sparked by Harry's comment that he loves Hermione like a sister. It's great that he only used personally the word “love” in relation to Hermione. And He never used this word in the whole series again. He did not say that he “loves” Ginny. Fantastic but people are going to ignore the context of the scene. First of all, Ron-not-quite-holding-himself-in-his-hands-Weasley had a sword near to him. I doubt that even if Hermione had been nine months pregnant, Harry would have said to Ron, "Yes, I love her, dude." Secondly, there is nothing wrong with having a wife and a best friend (by which Harry understands his sister) in one person. Before Hogwarts, no one cared about him, he was neglected, and Harry never had a sister, so he might have problems analyzing his attitude towards people (because of his abusive childhood). He has a bad idea of having sister. But! Brothers and sisters cannot understand each other like that without words what Harry and Hermione do always. Tournament, fifth course, hunting, scene at the cemetery, Christmas at Grimmo and so on. Thirdly, there was a time when Ginny was also perceived as a sister. Not only what he was trying to convince himself, but also his attitude towards her until the middle of the sixth year. So their equal experience might make him change his mind about Hermione.

The most important thing - we reads stories from Harry’s POV. We know that he said this sentence to Ron. HOWEVER, THIS SENTENCE WASN’T IN HIS HEAD. We really don’t know what Harry really thought of it.

So Harry is Hermione's brother to the same extent as Hinny is an incest.

SHIPS AND AUTHOR

The fact that the author connected everyone with the Weasleys does not mean that Harry and Ginny are compatible or that they are a likely couple. It is her right to decide the fate of the charecters. She could have made an endgame Harry with Molly, Ron with Hagrid, Hermione with Lockhart, and it would have been canon, but even then it wouldn't have made any sense. In order to understand the relationship, it is needed to analyse the interaction between characters.

The argument - “ it is canon that is why it is perfect”, looks childish right. Honestly, it's just pathetic to watch, as if people completely forget that they have a brain that they can sort of think about, but they prefer to stupidly accept what they've been given without any analysis.

Hinny is not about love

I talked about Book!Hinny.

Hinny is shown as an «advertisement for a beautiful life» beautifully, but implausibly and has nothing to do with real life. Hinny is unhealthy relationship. Their basis is physical attraction. He’s not trying to get to know Ginny, no, he’s mad about Dean and worried about Ron’s reaction. What’s worse is that Ginny looks at him as a hero, as a dream. God, she dated guys on purpose to get his attention ( the scene of their breakup, she literally said it). She says herself that she likes him for his desire to fight. This is pure stalking. She finds an excuse for his reckless behavior with Malfoy. This is not normal! A wife should support her husband, but not encourage his disgusting behavior, which could cost him his life or freedom.Harry hardly killed Malfoy. And Ginny praise his reckless behavior. She said that Hermione should be happy that Harry had known spell because Malfoy could have cursed him. So Ginny was ready to find any excuse to Harry just to stay his fan.

Their relationship is not healthy because Harry doesn’t trust her with his problems, he hides his emotions from her. He told her nothing and she didn’t try to learn Harry and be part of his real life with all dark sides. He turned his head away at the funeral so Dumbledore that she wouldn’t see his tears. It’s not normal. Because he is not fair with her. He expresses all his emotions with Hermione. He was crying and she saw his tears, because Harry is fair to Hermione.

He didn’t tell her not only about Voldemort, she didn’t know about his family, adventures. She didn’t know anything about the real Harry’s life. This means that Harry did not trust Ginny in all aspects of his life, which means that there is no emotional connection between them.

Harry and Ginny did not have any real feelings.

“Chest monster” and few weeks of their “romance” were the only thing that they have. If they got married, they would be like strangers under the same roof. Which was shown in the cursed child., Harry goes to Hermione With all the problems. Ginny just exists as furniture. And just because they’re married doesn’t mean they love each other.

Hinny fans yell: “Ginny loves Harry!” Where? Where is the example that shows us that Ginny loves Harry?Where is the example that shows us that Ginny loves Harry? Ron said that she was upset that Harry broke up with her. She didn’t say anything about Harry, just only her disappointment. In the scene in her room, ( at Harry’s birthday) she didn’t say a word about worrying about Harry, but said she was glad Harry would be too busy to find another girl? Just think! Critically analyze Ginny’s words! She would have preferred Harry to be busy with dangerous tasks, fighting death eaters and probably being killed, instead of being able to have an affair with another girl. It’s not about love.

First of all, trace didn’t interfered at their plan at fifth book. She could try to read books about trace, to ask her brother curse-breaker to help her, ask Hermione. But the only thing Ginny said “you wouldn’t be happy if you didn’t fight Volandemort. That is why I like you so much.” She just wanted to be with hero.

She could say that she believed in him, worried about him. She would wait him. But she didn’t the only thing she did- she was upset with the fact she had been broken up with and he could find another girl. It is not the love.She could say that she believed in him, worried about him. She would wait him. But she didn’t the only thing she did- she was upset with the fact she had been broken up with and he could find another girl. It is not the love.

And of course, fantastic scene of their break up. the only thing Ginny said “you wouldn’t be happy if you didn’t fight Volandemort. That is why I like you so much.” She just wanted to be with hero. She could try to read books about trace, to ask her brother curse-breaker to help her, ask Hermione.

She could even try to find any possibility to go with him. Instead of it she said ok in no minute. She could ask Bill to broke trace. She could look for a way to be with Harry’s during his difficulties. No. She has no thought about it. Ginny had not intended to ask Harry to go with her. Harry’s life did not mean anything to her.He is hero for her with heroic fate Ginny will never help Harry after war.

firstly, in the books it looks something like he won, got up, dusted himself off, went to marry Ginny. Since childhood, he did not allow himself to despair, to become discouraged, because he needed to find new and new strength to move on, because he still needed to win. In the end, his nerves should have been like a string that should break… and that’s where the PSTR should be. As with Hermione, in fact, that part of her died on the floor of the manor, life was divided into a house after.

in general, Ginny looks quite hypocritical and boorish ( there are a lot of examples of it) in books, that I don’t think that a person who lived with the Dursleys would like it. But come on. But the relationship after the war with the hot-tempered Ginny? Let her be brave, let her lose her brother, BUT(!) Ginny grew up like a houseplant, she always had parents and family who took care of her, even in battle she was not in the epicenter of the battle until the last. That is, she always had someone who was her mainstay. And at the end of the books, she’s an emotional teenager. She didn’t need to grow up fast. And such a hot-tempered girl has no idea at all what to do with a war-scarred veteran.she's acting like a five-year-old spoiled girl. She makes faces, throws dung bombs, and she's jealous of Fleur even after the battle at the end of the sixth book. She asks her mom for a fight like a disco - it's childish behavior(She just called Fleur cow and phlegm. She pretended to vomit because Fleur. She threw dung bombs at Sirius’s house - just fine, the height of good manners. She tripped Ron up in front of all the Gryffindors, made him a laughing stock in front of team that his brother wanted to fit into, but he had initial problems with it. Which, for a teenage boy, especially for an insecure Ron, is worse than a physical beating) , she treats people badly. it is definitely the last thing Harry needs. Harry's experience is much more serious. He's not a teenager, but a traumatized adult, he doesn’t need childish girl, Ginny will never understand him. she was not at hunting, she wasn’t tortured at Manor. She never had been lied about, betrayed, abandoned.

Fangirl Ginny and her “love”

Harry deserves resaid that she had overcome her infatuation? Throughout the book, she has no interest in Harry's life, but she continues to dream about  him. She says herself that she likes him so much because he wants to fight Voldemort. This is the ideology of the stalker. Ginny Weasley began as a fierce fan of Harry. But she never gave up on being his fangirl.

She didn't pay attention to Harry until she found out who he was at the station. Then Ginny wanted to watch him as if he were an animal at the zoo.

There is not anything cute about Ginny’s childhood crush. She’s stupid enough to send him a terrible postcard that only confused him.

I remind all her fans, that Ginny wasn’t worried about Harry’s state or other students who go hurt because she played with diary. She was worried that she would be expelled.

It's kind of like "true love." However, this is the girl who , as it is supposed, "loves" Harry so much. She has no idea about Harry's problems or his life. And more importantly, she's not trying to learn him either.

At Book 4. When everyone turned against Harry or ignored him, Hermione was there and supported him. Ginny didn’t say a word of encouragement, when Harry needed any support so badly. So she didn’t help Harry at very difficult time. Then Ginny’s completely consumerist nature acts. She agrees to go with Neville to get to the ball. At the same time, Ginny told Harry and Ron that Neville was her only chance to the ball. So Ginny uses Neville for her own personal interests. By the way, at the ball, Harry noted the beauty of Hermione, Fleur, Cho. In fact, he completely ignored Ginny’s appearance, noting only that. That she winced when Neville stepped on her foot. Actually , that ‘s all .

Book 5. Christmas at Grimmo. Harry was depressed he locked at the room. He ignored Ron and Ginny. Harry was sitting in the room and no one could force him to come out. It was only Hermione’s arrival that gave rise to a possible conversation between Harry and Ginny. And Harry doesn’t really care that he doesn’t remember that she was possessed for a WHOLE YEAR. Ginny is so “ important” to him that he forgot her trauma. oh, I remember that a lot of Hinny fans exaggerate their « common » trauma.

I like when people tell that they have the same trauma, she said by herself that that she had had memory lapses when she had had the diary! She doesn’t remember anything. Besides, her obsession with the diary is not the same as Harry being a Horcrux. If you look at it , then ONLY NAGAINA could understand him in this regard . Then, what the hell is with this injury. It seems that Ginny’s injury is being elevated to some kind of absolute. It doesn’t matter that Harry, Hermione, Ron, Luna, Neville went through much more. Only Neville understands what it means to lose his parents in the war, only Snape understands what it means to be unloved by a family, Sirius understands what it means to be lied to, Luna understands what it means to see death and be different. Hermione understands what it means to be betrayed by a friend, left alone without any help, without hope for success, to freeze and starve. Should Harry marry all of them because they have common traumas?

Actually, that’s all. Ginny meets with Michael, whom she leaves, then she says that she will take Dean as her boyfriend, that is, she treats Dean like a toy ( when they are in the train). And than next year she says that she always « hoping for Harry ». It is afwul.

Hnny in the sixth book is a story about jealousy and lust, which is again a very superficial relationship that is devoid of any meaning.She is presented as a fem version of Dudley. She makes fun of Fleur, Ron, she insults and physically hurts other guys, just because she’s tired of them. It is still incomprehensible to read how Harry, who was sympathetic to everyone, finds Ginny’s boorish attitude to people funny (and especially to Ron! I’m not a fan of his, but even I just hate the way she plays on his insecurities).

Harry thinks more about how much he hates Dean than about Ginny. Harry PHYSICALLY attracted to Ginny. But he doesn’t worry about Ginny’s personality. He quite calmly forgets about her until Ginny appears in the picture. He saw her with Dean he thought how Dean awful. He doesn’t think about Ginny. Besides, Harry’s thoughts are more focused on Dean (how bad he is) than on Ginny. After kiss with Ginny - Harry was looking at Ron and Dean. Honestly, I hate the first kiss scene where Ginny just hung on to Harry, claiming her rights to him. It looked like a kiss for everyone to envy. There is nothing personal or romantic about this scene. Harry was looking for Dean and Ron. Their reaction is much more important. So their reactions were more important than Ginny. Athough Ginny hadn’t done anything to prove her feelings for Harry. She cares more about the potential threat of other girls than the fact that Harry will survive or not. She calmly walks away from his problems. Ginny fell in love with the hero and continued to dream about him.

And of course, Ginny kept being a fangirl. She literally said she likes him for fighting and she never gave up an idea with him. She asked Hermione what she should do to attract Harry and followed her advice. She used Selfishly Dean and Michael to get Harry. Ginny is a fangirl and stalker.

Ginny is an afterthought for Harry.

Ginny is afterthought for Harry. Harry doesn’t just ignore Ginny, but simply forgets about her existence.

At the time of the attack at the wedding, Harry was thinking about how to find his friends. He didn’t think about the fact that he needed to stop and look for Ginny. For all the time since they ran away and found out that the Weasleys had gotten out of the wedding. Harry wasn’t thinking about her. We’re sitting in Harry’s head, we don’t see the thought of her. He only thought of Ginny when he heard about Ginny and her punishment. But then Harry hastened to convince himself that Ginny would be taken care of. It couldn’t compare to the physical pain he had actually experienced when Hermione was being tortured, it was the only thing that made him lock his mind away from Voldemort. Harry didn’t look at the map for Ginny’s sake. He was wondering if Ron had made it to Hogarts or not. He came across her name by chance and thought of her. At the shell (this is actually her brother’s house), Harry was in no hurry to find out how Ginny was, to ask what was wrong with her, although he knew that she was among the death eaters. After the battle, he rushes to his friends, not to Ginny.

His thought about Ginny and source of comfort means Ginny was a symbol of normal life. He spent with her few weeks without great problems. But after war all problems of Hinny would appear and they broke up as soon as possible. But the part of normal life doesn’t mean that it is real and deep feelings.

Ginny is not suitable person for Harry. She is hot tempered, impulsive, selfish, rude and childish. She wants Harry only because he is a hero. If he weren’t she would not have paid attention to him.

And this is just a small part of why Harry and Ginny are a bad couple. Ginny is not suitable person for Harry. She is hot tempered, impulsive, selfish, rude and childish. She wants Harry only because he is a hero. If he weren’t she would not have paid attention to him.

That is why Hinny is only for high school romance when the only thing that they have together - common hobby quidditch ( the epilogue doesn’t make hinny believable)

Harmony

As a fan of Harmony in books, I can say that we don’t think Hermione is perfect. But the peculiarity is that despite the fact that they differ in some ways, they accept the other with his or her advantages and disadvantages. Hermione knows Harry completely. He didn’t hide his problems and emotions from her, as he did with Ginny. Harry and Hermione closeness, trust, dedication, and loyalty are the foundation for a long-term relationship.

I would like to see the relationship that have deep meaning. Harmony ( for me ) is closeness, trust, support, understanding, acceptance. And I don’t see anything significant in canon ships. Together until the very end without any conditions or reasons. In general, the image of Hermione is amazing. She doesn't care about all Harry's claims that this is his mission, she doesn't care about common sense, that she is a mudblood who, in the eyes of the death eaters, does not even have the right to live. She is not a banal love interest and an image of a happy future. This is a strong personality who will go to hell and back for the sake of loved ones. She knows that Harry needs her help and gives up everything just to help him. Although let's be honest, the death eaters would have found the Grangers, if Voldemort needed them, they would have been found even in Australia. No matter what they say, there has never been a single time that Hermione regards this mission as her duty to save the Muggle-borns. But she said that they had time to retreat and they always chose a trio. This dedication and sacrifice is simply amazing. To go to the ministry when you believe that there is a trap there, just because Harry is going there, to go to war, where there is no plan or any help, to abandon her parents, to lie under torture by one of the most desperate criminals … it is also amazing how Harry and Hermione interact in many ways. Yes, they had quarrels and irritation, but the emotions and actions that they experience are simply amazing by the depth of their relationship. Harry's emotions during her injury at the ministry, only Hermione's screams of torture caused Harry to block his consciousness from Voldemort. Their communication is without words. Only Hermione believed that Harry didn't put his name in the goblet. She just knew it, she didn't need any reassurance. . She was the only pet who noticed his pain from his scar.At the cemetery, Harry only thought about wanting to leave something on his parents' grave, Hermione immediately created a wreath. And although I know that they are not canon, but for me these two couples are an example of true love without pretentious pink snot, but true deep feelings. Plus I believe that. Harry and Hermione are a gorgeous combination in character.they are opposites (impulsive and explosive -calm), a guy who relies on intuition and a practical Hermie. But at the same time they can have a constructive dialogues

Ya'll really gonna come in here and tell me you love Harry Potter but you hate Hinny.

You're going to tell me to my face that you love Harry James Potter, a man who has been through so much. Lost his whole entire family., and you're going to deny him his greatest source of comfort.

Are you actually going to tell me that you think ferret face or someone who Harry has described as a sister to him is a better fit for him than someone who makes him happier than he can ever remember being.

He was willing to die happily just thinking about her kissing him. Literally his last dying thought but you're gonna come here and tell me that you hate true love.

Please.

[barbaracleboy]

So, last year I came up with a cute little idea that I kinda wanna do more with in the future. For now, have this comic featuring it:

Hope you liked it! :> Under the Keep Reading is a bit more explanation of the idea as well as a solo drawing of Blossom (the Scoutmaster shown in the comic) as well as Scoutmaster Chubee (she can probably do it in-between acting gigs or whatever).

So, at some point (maybe mid-to-late into the story or perhaps postgame) Bianca realizes just how good it would be for Bees to be(e) encouraged to leave The Hive more. She's still worried of them getting into danger if they go exploring, though: it's not, like, illegal, but she's still concerned about Bees becoming Explorers and getting into danger, so she had a sort of middle ground created: the Flower Scouts! More interesting than staying at home all day but less risky than being an Explorer, the Flower Scouts just do whatever Girl Scouts and the like do. Part of them being safer also comes from how their groups are made up, being a minimum of three members and usually being around three-to-five (compare to Explorer Teams only needing two). I even made an OC relating to the concept!

Blossom! A super kind Bee that's excellent with children, a perfect fit for Scoutmaster!

Her hat wasn't originally meant to be that big but I thought it was cute/funny so I rolled with it.

Also, Chubee!

[morrigan-sims]

Pirate Outfts

I was bored, so I started trying some different outfits on Zara... The last one might be my favorite, if only because I already used another swatch of the first one for Wolf, and I can't have them wearing the same thing... But I also love being able to see all her freckles in the 2nd one...

[midnightwind]

okay tumblr decided to be Funny with me so I'm coming back to this outside of the tags because apparently I have too many thoughts about the Crows for my own good

so, cracking my knuckles because it's been a hot sec since I've sat down to be insane over the Crows and their politics! (god fuck sorry just looked up the 'cast list' for 8LT again and wdym Dante was Second Talon wtf- that feels wild okay sorry I thought Emil was Second Talon for some reason) ANYWAYS I think it's entirely possible that Caterina did not push on having Houses Balazar and Valisti vacate their spots, I would find it Highly unlikely that a Talon would not have a successor lined up should something happen to them. Caterina cannot be the only Talon thinking about Legacy and What Comes Next and even if there wasn't an obvious heir to the seat in Houses that lost their Talon I think someone would have stepped up, esp with Caterina looming over them being like “figure your shit out we have to save the country.” (internal fighting still very real, but unless a Knife tried to fight for the spot, I doubt they'd change Houses esp since we haven't heard of a Knife taking a seat recently [we don't know if Teia was Cantori before taking her seat or not to my knowledge])

although there is also a real discussion to be had about how much communication can happen between the Talons post invasion... Viago's letter to Rook mentions that writing letters to Minrathous will be almost impossible because of the Antaam (which I take with a grain of salt because why would the Assassin's Guild use mundane mail that has to be screened... and maybe he just means “they're annoyingly apt at spotting our messages so it's not worth it unless it's Important” idk, it would be on brand for him to also be like "and nothing you write is ever very important so fix that or stop trying to write me") but I think the Second and Third seats are at least still within their initial Houses from 8LT just because of the invasion looming. I do think Caterina might have gone scorched earth on House Kortez however (I can't remember if we have a Codex or dialogue citing this, I know we had a few references to fallen Houses but I read 8LT after finding those and don't want to open the game rn lmao) very much “can't know how deep the betrayal goes so burn it all to save us the trouble” you know?

so maybe Viago did become Fourth Talon after 8LT given he solved the murders and ensured Emil was caught, but then Rook happens. Rook ruins an important strike against the invaders and Viago spares them over it. Caterina understands doing anything for your family (and Rook is set up as his family and potentially his successor even!) but that can't be allowed so he has to be punished! But he's a clever Crow and a good Talon and an important piece on the board (esp when it comes to the Crown of Antiva!) so why not just take that promotion away and ensure he does better next time? scare him, ensure the Problem (Rook) is dealt with, and keep that hard worker under your thumb! I don't know if another House stepped up to fill that role or if there just currently isn't a Fourth Talon (Illario did have a full spread when he tried to take over as First Talon but maybe he just had stand ins or supporters mixed in with Teia and Viago, I don't think all the Talons are in Treviso or should all be there or could all be there that fast) I foresee Bolivar getting ousted by his own House upon his return from 8LT honestly so House Nero may still hold the Sixth seat under a new Talon, and well poor Arainai might still be 8th Talon (never rule out Zevran coming back to run chaos) but it's the weakest seat so I doubt Caterina really worried about solving that with the Antaam happening. and so as long as the House still answers and fights for the Talons in Antiva I doubt it matters who's name has the title, anyone in the House could have taken over for Giuli.

I think bare minimum that Teia should have been promoted to Sixth Talon tho she was core to finding Emil as the killer and it's esp weird considering Caterina very openly favors her. maybe they thought bumping Teia to Sixth but leaving Viago as Fifth would be too confusing? but only people who read 8LT would even find it odd (and even then, would we??) but maybe they had the seats already decided for Veilguard before Tevinter Nights was finished and things stayed the same between...

anyways, the whole of Antiva is primed for a Huge wave of reform at end of the events of Veilguard, esp if Rook is played as a Crow. the heroes of the world (this time) are all decently high ranked or highly respected assassins within the order and one of them even has ties to the crown! I think, if we had gotten to see a little further, glimpsed the road Antiva is on with ousting the Antaam, there would be a decent chance of the Crows becoming proper god damned heroes of legends to the country and Viago making a real move to take the crown from his father (with full backing from at least 2 Houses if not most of the order) and who even knows if having a full 8 Talons would even be needed then? the entire order of Crows could be going through some insane changes at the end of all this

also one other thing that was bothering me. even if we chuck it up to teia's influence and viago being super generous by not overtaking 2nd and 3rd talon (house balazar and valisti) after what happen in eight little talons, house kortez is pretty much done and gone. it makes no sense that a cuchillo house is jumping immediately to the vacated 4th talon position, viago should be a 4th talon now and teia 6th. the setup where they remained at their previous positions would only make sense if they for some reason kept 4th talon vacated, but that makes no sense, it's been years. i think it's just a slipup and by all means viago should be 4th and teia 6th at least. i would even expect more changes in the hierarchy, but on the other hand maybe caterina penalized infighting somehow now that they should be focusing on the antaam.

[hauntingblue]

Rewatching act 2.... yeah ISHA WATCH OUT FOR THE CYCLE ISHA!!!!! NOOOOO

[olliepurples]

mdarc chapter 4 spoilers (tw negative)

i'm a couple of doors into the mystery labyrinth, and it's getting a little annoying having shinigami and yuma go "but how could this have happened? who could have done this?" when i literally knew it was yakou as soon as the game told me that the poison had a delay. this is so silly like "how could anyone have got past this, they would have died in thirty minutes!" ok! narrow your suspect pool to people who die in the next thirty minutes then! damn!!!

[matoitech]

ppl watching dunmeshi for the first time: laios is such a crazy fucking FREAK… there aren’t even WORDS to describe his behavior .. i’ve never seen ANYTHING like it…

laios: *autistic*

[ohio-thestate]

new hyperfixation incoming

[sysig]

Reading moodboard #84430940 (Patreon)