#it's not /totally/ impossible considering the camping events

[yandere-daydreams]

Not too sure if you keep up with jp twst updates but have you seen the new Halloween update with the fox dude, Honest Fellow? (Yes that's his name, I'm just gonna call him honest John cause his name's an adjective). I am seriously loving how expressive he is, his devious expressions are so good

i am keeping very up to date with what y'all are doing over there and so far i've been delighted by the idea that, while half of the school's named population is experiencing a prolonged hatecrime in a french catholic school, the other half will be running away to nonconsensual join a circus led by a catboy and nick wilde's humansona. i don't know enough about him to have any major thoughts, but rollo was so fun and it seems like they'll be going just as hard for this event as they did for the glorious masquerade. any event with an ortho ssr is bound to slap and i have no reason to doubt that honest fellow (because i refuse to disrespect such a brave naming choice) will contribute to that.

i don't usually read translations for events but i think i might at least find a summary or something, this time. there's just something about a deceptively charming ringleader with a habit of luring people into his pocket-reality fantasy land that feels like it would go really well with what i do here.

[dancingbirdie]

Back with another bout of plotless smut. Read at your own discretion and take note of the tags. <333

Like my smut writing? Find more here.

We Have All Night

Rating: MATURE

Pairing: Astarion x fem!Reader x Halsin

Word Count: 800

Warnings/Tags: Oral sex (fem!Reader receiving), praise kink, hand kink, threesome technically?, mentions of alcohol, pure plotless smut

Summary: You'd been wondering for some time what it would be like to have Halsin and Astarion share you.

*****

You could have easily blamed the events that ensued on the bottles of Blingdenstone Blush you all had passed around camp that evening. But if you were honest with yourself, the position you found yourself in was one you had been fantasizing about for some time. 

“That’s it, darling,” Astarion coaxed as his fingers slipped gently through your hair, teasing and massaging your scalp. Your head was pillowed in his lap, pupils blown wide with lust as you peered up at him. He smiled down at you, a wicked, hedonistic sort of grin.

“You so desperately want to hold still for him, don’t you?”

You whined your assent, trying your best to keep your hips from bucking – an impossible task considering the relentless way Halsin’s tongue was licking and circling that sensitive spot at the apex of your thighs. 

“Such a good girl. You’re doing so well” Astarion cooed, while Halsin groaned in agreement. The vibrations it created against your skin felt like electricity surging through your limbs. 

Your mind was a disjointed haze of lust and alcohol. Totally uninhibited, you keened loudly as the druid suddenly gripped the softness of your thighs and plunged his tongue inside you.

“Shh, shh, shh” Astarion hushed, moving a hand to cover your mouth. “We don’t want the rest of the camp to hear our fun, do we?”

You groaned and shook your head slightly. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to join in?” you rasped, your lips moving against his slender fingers.

He gave a mischievous little chuckle. “I’m certain. I’m having a wonderful time just watching,” Astarion returned. 

“The night is still young,” Halsin persuaded, pausing his feasting on you to meet Astarion’s eyes. The absence of his mouth left you wanting, aching for contact once more. “If you change your mind, there’s plenty of fun to be had.” 

“A tempting offer, indeed,” Astarion smirked. “Let’s see where the evening takes us, shall we?”

You moaned against his hand as Halsin dipped his head to begin circling your clit with his tongue once more. You fisted his gorgeous auburn locks in your hands, eliciting a groan from his mouth that felt absolutely delicious against your hypersensitive skin. 

“Our sweet pup has an oh-so-difficult time keeping quiet, doesn’t she?” Astarion crooned, tracing his fingers against the seam of your lips. “You’re trying so hard, darling, I know you are.”

His silken, sinful voice felt almost as euphoric as the deplorable things Halsin was doing between your legs. In a bout of unbridled lust, you opened your mouth to capture Astarion’s index and middle fingers in your mouth. 

You sucked down on them, circled them with your tongue, as you imagined having his hard length sheathed down your throat. Your bawdy move drew a sharp breath from the vampire, followed by a quiet groan. 

You paused your ministrations, lifting a hand to pull his fingers from your mouth before asking, “Is this okay? Is it too much?” 

Astarion chuckled darkly, and you watched as his chest rose and fell with uneven breaths. 

“You wicked thing,” he purred. “Yes, it’s okay. And it has the added benefit of keeping you quiet.”

You were beyond laughs and jokes. Hearing his consent, you drew his fingers back down to your mouth and resumed your sucking. You moaned your approval as Astarion pistoned his fingers deeper into your mouth at the same time Halsin inserted two fingers inside you. 

You knew you wouldn’t last long. Not with the way the druid was fucking you with his fingers at the same time his tongue was circling your clit. Not with the way Astarion was trailing one hand delicately across your exposed skin while you worshiped the fingers of his other hand with your tongue and lips. 

Every nerve within you was alight and thrumming with barely-restrained energy. You could feel yourself climbing higher and higher, your body preparing for the sweetest freefall that would soon ensue. Your heels dug into Halsin’s muscled back as you tensed, one hand still clenching his hair while the other held desperately onto Astarion’s thigh. 

“Yes, darling, yes,” Astarion kept coaxing as your body drew more and more taut. A bowstring desperate to be released. 

“Let yourself come, you know you want to,” he added in a soft whisper. 

It was too much. 

Those words, and a final flick of Halsin’s tongue, had you shattering into a thousand pieces. Your cries were barely restrained by the fingers still occupying your mouth. You were lost in pleasure, awash in the tingling aftermath of your release. 

Chest heaving, mind reeling, you could barely find words. 

“That… that was…” you wheezed, before letting loose a giggle. “Everything I’d imagined it would be.”

“You’d thought about this before?” Halsin grinned, wiping his mouth clean against his forearm before leaning down to plant a reverent kiss against your lips. You could taste yourself on him. It gave you more satisfaction than perhaps it should have. 

“My, my. What other sort of depraved carnal pleasures are bouncing around in that head of yours, I wonder?” Astarion added, helping you sit up so that you were lounging between the two of them. 

You shared a conspiratorial grin with both elves. “We have all night, if you’d like me to show you.”

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Noah Berlatsky at Public Notice:

Donald Trump has repeatedly promised that if he returns to the White House, he will deport every undocumented person in the US. Most experts say that would be 11 million people, but Trump has insisted that the number is closed to 18 million or even 30 million. Trump’s provided few details about how he would go about accomplishing such a massive forced relocation program, though he’s suggested he would deputize local police, call in the National Guard, and perhaps use the military. He’s also said, with some relish, that “getting them out will be a bloody story.” This past weekend, Trump turned his violent and dehumanizing rhetoric up to 11, proclaiming during an event in Prairie du Chien, Wisconsin, that migrants “will walk into your kitchen, they’ll cut your throat.”

“These people are animals,” Trump said, vowing that "I will liberate Wisconsin from this mass migrant invasion of murderers, rapists, hoodlums, drug dealers, thugs, and vicious gang members. We're going to liberate our country." This Trumpian dystopia bears no resemblance to reality. Trump went as far as to claim that “hundreds of little cities and little towns" in the Midwest are being "occupied" by migrants with "MK-47s." As untethered from reality as he is, Trump is deadly serious about attempting deportation on an unprecedented scale. Even making an attempt to round up that many people would lead to horrific suffering and the weaponizing of state terror against immigrants, Latinos, Black people, and Trump’s partisan enemies. In short, Trump is calling for a massive military operation that seems designed to lead to economic misery, concentration camps, and mass death.

Mass deportation would be massively expensive

Experts are skeptical that Trump could enact his terrifying deportation agenda in part because to do so would require vast amounts of money. The funds would have to come from Congress, and even far right legislators are likely to balk at the cost. In 2023, ICE deported 142,580 people with a budget of $420 million. Trump wants to deport at minimum 10 million individuals; proportionally, that would cost about $30 billion.

There would be huge additional costs as well. ICE currently spends some $2.4 billion a year on 41,500 detainee beds. Trump is calling for more than 10 times as much deportation; the cost for warehousing immigrants could also be tens of billions of dollars. Even that’s only scratching the surface of the cost. Immigrants contribute to the economy by paying taxes, performing needed jobs, and providing income for households that include US citizens. Undocumented people paid $96.7 billion in taxes in 2022; that’s all money that would be lost if Trump got his wish. In addition, the Center for Migration studies estimates that if a third of US citizen children of undocumented immigrants remain in the US after their parents are deported, the state would end up spending $118 billion to care for them. GDP could contract 1.4 percent in the first year. Losses could total $4.7 trillion over a decade.

As the Washington Monthly argues, deporting 11 million immigrants would cause a national labor contraction and recession; there could be 968,000 job losses for American citizens. National wage and salary income could fall by $317.2 billion. Total deportation costs could be $265 billion. In short, it’s impossible to fully anticipate or predict the cost of such a huge, wasteful, ill-considered program. But Trump’s deportation nightmare is likely to make the country poorer by trillions of dollars. Recession, contraction, and economic misery will afflict the US for years, and possibly decades.

Mass deportation will lead to mass human rights abuses

Analysts have struggled to quantify and describe the human rights implications of Trump’s deportation strategy. A militarized force going door to door throughout the country with sweeping powers to arrest anyone they deem suspicious is obviously going to lead to monstrous abuses.

Trump has also said that he would be open to creating mass concentration camps at the border to warehouse undocumented people. He’s claimed these camps would be temporary since he plans to deport people quickly — but it’s easy to imagine hundreds of thousands of people housed in “temporary” facilities without adequate food or water, subject to rampant disease and violence from guards. There are at least some historical blueprints that can give us a sense of how dangerous and vicious a mass deportation program could be. Trump has repeatedly touted the Eisenhower-era Operation Wetback, named for a racist slur, as an inspiration for his policy. The operation was conducted by a task force of around 800 agents, who set up roadblocks and raided homes and workplaces in 1954 and 1955. Eisenhower’s deportation program ejected between 300,000 and 1.3 million people in 1954-1955. The Mexican government helped, in hopes that returned migrants would help with the country’s labor shortage.

Donald Trump’s mass deportation plan to deport all undocumented immigrants is a catastrophic disaster for our economy and for civil liberties.

[asktheplethaura]

Total Drama: Liberation of the Slaughtered

((Authors Note: I'm waking up- - - to ash and dust- - - I wipe my ass and I slap ma nuts- - -))

Five years... and yet all of the events of he past still feel as though they had happened yesterday. 

Stepping off a boat and looking over a bright thriving island as birds flew overhead, and people chattered to each other around the docking area. Fresh sea water and winding laughter as everyone made their first enemies or friends. 

All of these bright memories were diminished with a dark shadow. A permenant membrance of pain and past agony. 

Yet, with all these small, fond memories lingering in his mind, there were whispers of those awful days spent in a living hell that had only stopped when they had been rescued. 

The dread that danced on his stomach, and the hours of waiting as time ticked by, wondering just who was unfortunate enough to be caught by the serial maniac that roamed the island and claimed 15 of their lives. 

Brutal, hopeless... awful. 

Disgusting. 

. . . 

Despite being over, it never really was over. Not to him. It never would be over, until there was closure.. and closer had not reached him. Not yet. There could never be closure with circumstances such as these. 

~ ~ ~ 

Cody paces around the darkened room of his small 1-story house. He raked his hands through his hair as he looks around the darkened space, feeling both unwelcome, yet so at home in this awful room. 

Barren, unlight, free of sunlight or warmth. Just like the days that followed the first death at Camp Wawanakwa. Everyday he was on edge, looking over his shoulder as he just couldn't help the feeling of being watched or just or judged.

The years following the rescue of him and the other 7 survivors were not pretty. Not for him. In a word full of pain, why would he of all people get it easy? Why would he have any freedom from these feelings that tormented him, and nagged at him still?

Ever since they were rescued... Cody had to admit he never kept in contact with the others. Everyone that survived... they didn't hate him. He didn't think so- but for most of them, he wasn't their friend. He was just someone else who somehow managed to make it out alive.

It was... rather funny actually. In a way. Cody Anderson, a so called puny dweeb and even arguably pathetic boy managed to survive such an event  when tougher people than himself had been killed. 

Perhaps it was the survivors guilt kicking him in the ass. Maybe it was just him looking for a reason to feel sorry for himself, considering how little he suffered compared to anyone else. 

Cody had a knack for surviving. He just had this stupid motherfucking way of surviving a lot of what... would be considered impossible. Getting mauled by wild animals, getting harassed by others who antagonized him from time to time. Falling down ledges and carrying 3 other boys that were at least 2x his weight during one challenge. 

He himself was an enigma. How had he even survived that long? 

Perhaps... if he had died with the others... he wouldn't be as lonely as he was now. Contemplating his life, and remniscing over such traumatic events that he could have maybe opted to heal from years ago when help was being offered. 

The others... they didn't quite move on. But they were coping better than he was. 

Gwen dropped most of her gothic wardrobe, and started dressing a bit more like trent. Hell, she even managed to find a shirt exactly like his online a couple years ago... according to her social media page. 

She works with her younger cousin in a pet care facility. 

Good for her. She had her life... not together but back on track.

Because life goes on. 

Leshawna changed quite a bit. She cut her hair considerably shorter, and eventually invested in reading glasses. She was now in computer programming. Working on putting a game toghether. The main character was a ginger haired geek, with 'sick ninja skills' last cody read. 

Leshawna found a partner and he treated her well. They were making the game together, maybe? Cody wouldn't know. All he was sure of was that Leshawna was healing, as most of them were.

Because life goes on...

Duncan had found himself getting into office work. Something that no one ever saw happening. He never dropped his green and black hair, but over time- he let go of his piercings, and started dressing at least a little more casually. 

Commemmorating Courtney with his changes- he wasn't quite happy... in fact... his life was quite dull. But he felt closer to the deceased. Confiding in organization and planning out his life, even if it was just a little bit. 

He would get used to it... or... finish getting used to it. 

Because life goes on...

Katie grew her hair out, and put on a little weight. She works with her mother in the sweets shop. She had found herself a girlfriend, and even adopted a child. 

She had not yet come back to her usual chipper self- but she was trying. Visiting her best friends grave every single week. 

Beause... life goes on.

Izzy vanished for a long while, only coming back recently after passing a clean bill of mental health from the local sanitarium. She had lost herself after the events of the island, and due to not having much of anyone by her side anymore- she had tried to commit. 

She had a reputation for being crazy. Even if only a few episodes aired, she was looked at strange by many people after her rescue. 

Thinking she may be the killer, who managed to get free of the rightful sentancing she deserved... or something. Her and Eva got together sometime after that. 

Because... life goes ... on. 

Speaking of Eva... she had been effected the least negatively, but it effected her all the same. Eva didn't have close friends during the events of the islands murder spree. She wasn't close to anyone because of her brash attitude and aggressive nature. 

Even if she was inspirational. 

She had her own regrets. She was a tough, scary woman when provoked. Facing Chef Hatchet on many occasions. Chef, who was not nice on most. 

Eva was competant and capable... so... what stopped her from trying to kill or neutralize the killer? 

Maybe it was the fact that... even if Chef seemed crazy or scary at times... there was also the lingering knowledge that chef would not purposefully kill or maim them. (At least, of his own accord) 

The killer already took out several people before he would have been close to them. People that died not because they were SIMPLY stabbed to death or something. 

The killer was a sadistic maniac. This maniac loved to cause pain and make others distressed. Dead bodies were playthings. Along with the lives of the innocent that stained their hands red with blood.

Even so, she couldn't help but feel guilty. 

But... he got better. 

Because... 

be...cause. . . 

____

No. Life does not just 'go on'. 

Cody thought about the former camp mates that he forced himself out of contact with as he threw a glass bottle against the wall with a tired grunt of pain and melancholic misery. 

No. 

Even if life was always changing or 'ongoing' it never continued on. 

Cody was stuck in his own box. His own box of regret, and overthinking everything that had happened. He did always get attached too easily... way... way too easily... 

He brought his fingers up to the bridge of his nose, letting out a deep sigh.  "Everyone's gone ahead and I left myself behind... now I'm alone all over again." he sighed, before leaning agaisnt the windowsill, barely bothering to peer through the blinds. 

Still alone... out here in the outskirts of town. 

Biding his time as he waits to hopefully allow himself to heal from this trauma. Half a decade of freedom, and he was still trapped in his own cage, fueled by guilt and denial. 

In the end... the only reason he had not calimed freedom... was becaus he never let himself be free. 

Perhaps... he never would. 

Closing his eyes, he let his wet eyes rest as he flopped on his somewhat tattered cough with a low thump, a sigh escaping him. 

 With his exhaustion and lack of self care, he tired out quickly. Falling asleep where he sat within half a minute, his head lulled to the side and he found himself consumed by darkness.

((To Be Continued))

((IDEK if I will continue this.lmao))

[shrimpbytes]

Fallout 76 SEASONS 4 years later

I spent a long time wondering if I should make this a video. Because I kinda don't want to put another 76 one on my channel, but my autism and desire to say "I told you so" is quite strong.

Then I remembered I have a blog I never use, so that.

Not to mention, I feel like I am less likely to accidentally get picked up by the worst defenders of capital here than reddit or youtube

Fallout 76 seasons is currently wrapping its 16th season. After somehow 4 years of this, I thought it would be ''''fun''''' to take a look back at how we got here and how depressing it all is.

SEASON 0

This journey actually starts before the scoreboard was made, what I will refer to here as Season 0. You see, for 76, the scoreboard wasn’t a brand new reward system from the ether, it replaced an already existing daily and weekly challenge system.

In the old days we were given challenges to earn atoms directly. No pussyfooting through ranks of nonsense. Just cold hard cash. Were the rates lower than the scoreboard? Not really. The weekly atoms one could expect 150-160 atoms free per week. When you consider dedicated players tend to finish the scoreboard in 8 or so weeks, that alone is pretty congruent with the atoms earned by the scoreboard…however. With daily challenges you can get 50-70 per week. Even if you only rolled 50 atoms per day, you could more than TRIPLE the weekly amount. 50*7+150 = 500 atoms per week 5 weekly challenges and 5 daily challenges. Let’s keep that 500 per week metric in mind. This is a small low-ball since some days would offer you more, but the challenges themselves were less engaging than the scoreboard, so 500 it is.

SEASON 1

May 2020. Everyone is happy and optimistic about Fallout 76 for the first time. Sure Fallout 1st came, but we also got Wastelanders. A story expansion with real NPCs, and a dialogue/skill system with varied ways to approach all kinds of checks that was arguably more in depth than previous Fallouts. And then Season 1 is announced and it’s not looking good as Bethesda gives us a set of numbers that don’t add up. You see obtaining the first rank would be 1000 score with each subsequent rank adding 25 score above the previous. So to get all 100 ranks you would need 220,275. You can otherwise get 7500 score from weeklies and 2000 from dailies for a total of 21500 score per week. Which given 10 weeks leaves you at 5000 short of completing the scoreboard. When this was pointed out Bethesda announced the repeatable score challenge for 10000 xp giving 100 score and that there would be double score events. So, not impossible but still a bit funky that they let us see numbers indicating they designed a system intending for us to fail.

Okay, shoddy math aside, what was Season 1 actually like? Well July 2020 rolls around and we finally get to see. I’ll lead in with the positives. Many of the annoying challenges go away. No more taking pictures of players or wearing specific cosmetic items to get your reward, but challenges otherwise stay the same. The format is more appealing as there is a fun little board game to help coax you through the grind.

What of the rewards then?

3 player icons 150

A bunch of junk

The single worst ui I have seen in a non-David Cage Game [Ammo converter]=500 atoms??

8 armor reskins 600-1200 each or 2000 for a bundle

6 weapon skins 500 each

1 pip-boy skin 500 ($5 for a pip-boy re-texture? Half the price of Nuka-World/Automaton/The Pitt/Broken Steel)

7 power armor reskins 600 each, 1200 for bundle

A brand new power armor skin and a reskin for it 1500? 3000?

1 chicken coop=500 atoms

9 camp decorations 300 each, 2000 for a bundle

1 deployable skin

2 backpack skins 1000

2 photo frames 150 each

2 poses 250 EACH

3,6,15, scrap kits 900?

3, 6, 15 repair kits 250+500+3*50? 900?

1 facial cosmetic item 300

2 jetpack skins500, 1000(bundled with their respective for 1800)

3 variations of the same outfit 1000? 3000???

39 lunchboxes: 1 = 50, 6 = 250, 15 =500, 40 =1000

1500 atoms

So if we take this favorably, we’re looking at 33.65k. Certainly nothing to sneeze at, right? Well..

Not at all

The above is a very generous way to look at it. One way that even Bethesda themselves wouldn’t.

After a season ends they try to recirculate the parts through either the bullion shops or the atom store. In particular, all of season 1’s tomfoolery can be acquired through bullion, or these two bundles: The captain cosmos bundle is 1800 atoms for just the jetpack and suit. In fact, less than half of what is in the Cosmos and Jangles bundle is even part of season 1. But let’s count the whole price anyways, why not? 1800+1800 is 3600, add in the atoms and now we’re at 5100  in ten weeks pretty on par with the old model, and I am just starting. 

What of weapons? Well, what of weapons? Who is the person that uses specifically a bow, a hunting rifle, a super sledge, a combat rifle, a handmade, and a gatling gun? and uses them enough that they’d want a skin on each of them. But not a unique skin either, they’re really set on keeping them all the same theme? Yeah, pretty much noone. That’s probably why Bethesda sells so many bundles. They know you only want one or a few things so they trick you into paying MORE because it looks like a deal. If you get six skins for the price of two, you might think that’s really good even though you’ll only use one, so really you paid the price of two, for one. Like going back to the cosmos jangles bundle. The Default cosmos outfit alone is 1000 atoms. Over HALF the price of the bundle individually. The bundling scheme gets even more transparent when looking at armors.

Sure, you may use more than one type of weapon, but you will barely ever use more than one type of armor. Many armors are just de facto upgrades over the lower tier ones. Once you have Secret Service or T65 armor, there is barely a reason to ever drop down to a weaker set, save for like the excavator armor’s enhanced carry capacity. Furthermore, most people will either play with either power or unpowered armor, not often both. In fact, the jet pack skin unlocked in the same season itself invalidates the lower tier non-powered armors. it LITERALLY can not be used with any of those armors so including them together on the pricing sheet is pretty damn silly. 

Believe it or not, the bundling scheme has yet to hit its stride, because if we could just take a moment to look at the consumable section. I have lunchboxes listed at barely more expensive than the scrap kits and repair kits, which well, they aren’t. They are exactly the same price in the shop. You get nearly double the amount of lunch boxes yet I rounded them to around the same price. Because lunchboxes get you one less than 40, so I rounded up to the 40 bundle for 1000 atoms, but the other consumables come out to 24, a weird number, that if I break apart using largest sums(ie the biggest discounts) ends up with 900 atoms. They are nearly the same price for nearly half the items. Because that’s how dramatic the bundle pricing is. Bethesda wants you to go for the big bundle every time, because it looks like you're getting more value, despite it not actually costing Bethesda a damn thing. Which raises the question, does that mean every consumable I unlock for free, the average price goes down? If I get two seasons worth of lunch boxes, totaling 78, is that like 1500 atoms instead of 2000? Well, something that might help this conundrum is to learn that scrap kits and repair kits are just useless. I have never once purposefully used a scrap kit in all my hours and boss fights just give you better versions of repair kits as well as many other goodies. They are ostensibly just bundled into the season to make it look more valuable than it really is.

The entire season pass is just one, big, bundle. If you actually sit down and look at what you want, you’ll likely find that even by the massively inflated 76 prices you probably would have gotten more under the old system. I wanted the marshmallow armor, something to put on my secret service armor. So for me personally, I would have to grind for 82 ranks to get something I actually wanted. Roughly 8 weeks or 4000 atoms in the old system to get a single skin that would usually be priced around 500 atoms, and I’d only have 1200 atoms thus far to show for it. The value being well under half of the old system.

I promise I won’t do this deep of a dive for every season, I just really wanted to hammer home that while the scoreboard system was more fun than the previous one, it has always been aimed at taking away our purchasing power. [foreshadowing]

CLOSING OUT 2020

Season 2 is not very noteworthy, although I do want to bring up again how artificial these prices are, with the Armor Ace bundle being 1400 atoms for some reason. The atoms earned was also bumped to 1850, which is nice, however 500, over ¼ are locked behind the final final rank. Once again hammering home the bundle method of putting what you really want at the end, so you’ll invest your way through everything else. All and all, a slightly better version of season 1 in my personal opinion. Which is probably why it’s the only one I actually finished. Oh. and it was 13 weeks, not 10. So in the old model that is now competing against an extra 1500 atoms when determining its market value. Oof.

Season 3 coincides with the Steel Dawn update. And as keen viewers guessed by the fact it is brotherhood themed, Bethesda’s worst traits begin rearing their ugly heads again. This is the first season to add 1st exclusive rewards. Meaning some content is just locked away from you unless you pay Bethesda $100 a year to artificially lock content from other players. This season drops the armor bundle entirely, so if you don’t use power armor, I hope you use one of the 5 weapons. What’d they make it up with? Uhh, just some camp amenities, most of which are just cosmetics…and two human beings. So is this season actually worth less than the previous ones, well as a power armorless hippy, I’d say yes, but it is hard to put value on a human life..

Okay okay. I know this really isn’t the point of the video, but I need to address this: You know how I mentioned some rewards can be bought with gold bullion? Well that means they’re purchased at one of the Wastelanders settlements. and idk, I just find it darkly funny that you can buy people from the settlers, who are the “good” side. What did Bethesda mean by this? Oh, and it’s 19 weeks long. So even if it had the exact same value as the two previous seasons, it would still really only be worth half as much, especially when you consider the classic system.

THE TEST

In my opinion, this is where the game begins its true death spiraling. Prior to now, 76 was known for two things besides its launch. Fallout 1st, Bethesda doubling down on their worst behaviors, and Wastelanders, Bethesda flaunting their best abilities. In hindsight, it’s hard not to notice that this one update both included another selling point for 1st, and a scaled down version of Wastelanders. Now would be a good time for Bethesda to see which avenue is more rewarding, and to be frank, Fallout 76 has a prosperity cult problem. That is to say, the most loyal fans believe the more money they throw at the multi-billion dollar company, the more rewards they’ll receive. So obviously, if Bethesda were to look at that data around this time, they’d see it makes more sense to milk 1st subscriptions than create quests that require significant resources.

And hoo boy, the milk is a flowing. TEST FAILED

You'll see after this time 76 starts getting given away, they no longer care about sales, only micro-transactions.

2021

Jan 2021, everyone celebrates as Nuclear Winter challenges are removed from seasons, and then they are quickly added back in

Season 4: Cold Steel. Not too much to say here, no more armor paints, but there are more outfits and some are early on for us normal armor peeps. To be honest, I greatly prefer outfits, because they can each be used no matter the tier of armor you wear underneath, so each one you get stands a chance of being used unlike wood paint. The 1st rewards are getting better though. Season 3 had a power armor paint job, but season 4 gets a brand new model and everything. That I guess uses some copy-pasted text. Because the description does not mention it can be used on either of the newer power armors. But hey, at least freebies still get 2ish new power armors right?

Season 5: Oh, never mind. Just one new power armor and it’s at the absolute max rank. great. The outfits in this pack are all Fallout 3 nostalgia…except the rank 98 uhh EVE Divine Cybermancy suit?

But that doesn’t matter, the notable part of season 5 is that it was released with Steel Reign and Finally implemented ranks beyond 100. Which I am going to use in defense of my season 3 'TEST' theory. Season 3 asked “More 1st bullshit, less story content?” and Season 5 said “More 1st bull shit, less story content.” Thanks 1sters! Oh, and it was 9 weeks long. The first season where you could technically keep earning atoms for additional play time like in the old days, is tied for the shortest season. The repeatable ranks are not worth too much. You can no longer grind repeatable challenges and you only get 100 atoms instead of 150 and nothing unique. So 100 atoms per 30000 or so score means 200 atoms per 3 weeks. Less than 1/7th of the olden days. Honestly, just take the time off and go hug your kids.

Season 6: The average length of seasons goes up from here, just under half exceeding 100 days, and all but one above ten weeks. Allows each season to take up less man hours and each player to get less stuff over time. Other than the aforementioned time skimping, I think the board itself is better than season 5’s, but I am also a capeshit enjoyer. (I also think it’s hilarious the power armor is based on the stealthy femme fatale hero)

2022-ish

Season 7: Generally average, but I can’t help but notice the clean blue suit which is quite literally the type of thing they give away in the atom store. Of note this time, you can no longer pay for ranks after rank 100. Not sure why you could ever do that, but props for taking it out…I think?

Season 8: A pretty bad season all things considered. Which much like the Brotherhood one, should have been obvious because they’re relying on vault tec again. Seriously, someone needs to confiscate Bethesda's nostalgia card.

The power armor paint is just yellow. It’s just yellow. There isn’t even one for T65 armor, the objectively strongest and thereby most used set for two years by this point. They brought back the useless low tier armor upgrades and 1sters now get a reward every 5 rounds instead of 10 including this Billy Bass mailbox.

This is it. This is what I will never forgive Bethesda for. Give me the bass Bethesda.

There is no unique power armor at the end and the rank 98 outfit? It’s a vault suit. With leather armor…really? And for some reason you get firehouse materials at the end in lieu of anything else. I guess Bethesda does care about the build community after all. In full honesty, a very obvious shift towards 1sters. Quite literally doubling what they were getting before (a reward every 5 ranks instead of every 10) and dropping a steamy one down our chimney. The fattest L yet, and what a way to end year 2. I look forward to many more years of quality seasons.

Season 9: Better than 8, but still clearly on the downward slope. Still shilling out useless armor skins and now having 1st rewards at yet again doubled rate(a reward every 5 ranks instead of every 10) , including locking this beaut away.

It’s no billy bass mailbox, but the Dullahan is nearly as fuckable and also this good boy.

Guess what? If you don’t pay for 1st(and grind to rank 100) you are spitting on Seymour’s grave.

SEASON 10

It got its own header, must be scary: This is the season that made me start working on this essay, because genuinely, fuck it. You see, Season 10 locks the Auto-Axe, a returning Fallout 3 weapon, and one of the best weapons in 76 behind rank 15.. As well as the union power armor, which for SOME REASON is split up like the pieces of Exodia

Forcing you to reach rank 75 before you are even allowed to finish the full set. Not to mention the plasma caster skin, a weapon I actually use is locked behind rank 92. Not that it matters since all of the skins in this season are just…brown. Well, you’ll probably be able to get them with bullion afterwards right? Nope, 76 instead adds another currency in the same update, stamps.

As before, it is really hard to explain why something is bad in 76 without explaining every other system in the game, but in short you need stamps to get these after the event and stamps were very hard to get. You could potentially get 20 stamps if you absolutely nailed one of two just two 10 minute long quests. It's been over a year and they added just two quests. You could only get the full 20 if you were the expedition leader, which you could only do once per day. Otherwise you can only get 10 per run. With each Power Armor piece being 800 stamps, that would mean 40 runs per part and I can not stress this enough: there were only two quests. Minimum runs: 200 in 200 days or Minimum Days: 1 in runs. Bethesda really hates Pittsburgh huh?

2023

Season 11: Same idea as the last few, the unique weapon is now locked to rank 85, a full ten ranks higher than exodia himself. But the paints are more interesting than rust

Feb 2023, Season 12 Rip Daring and The Cryptid Hunt adds rerolls. You get one per day and it allows you to change 1 challenge you got for a better one. Fo1st holders get a second one per day, the scoreboard drops some and you can buy them for 50 atoms. Okay, 50 atoms isn’t much and you get some for free, what’s the big deal. Well, remember those annoying challenges from Season 0? You know, say wear a specific armor while doing a specific tedious objective?

Yeah? Well, what if, we brought those back, but made you do them with ludicrously expensive or season pass related armor? Because that’s what happened. Some challenges were only completable with the Union Power Armor.

So now we’re setting up a precedent where lapsing on one season can cause you to struggle harder through the next, maybe even encouraging you to buy our brand new microtransaction. Fantastic. Also, when it first launched sometimes the rerolls would send you to do a seasonal event that wasn’t in season. This is more than 4 years into 76’s lifespan and what a way to cap off year 3 of season passes.

Season 13: This season we see that the 1sters are getting a lot less useless crap than they used to. Repair kits being swapped out for cute lil’ plushies. But do not fret freebie, there is a mothman plushie…locked all the way down at rank 97. The season locked weapon is thankfully only rank 5, but you also get a pipboy skin at rank 66? Ooh boy, don’t miss the rank 66 pipboy skin. It is also the only other 9 week season. They know the effect mothman has on people and rushed him to the atom store.

Season 14: Rank 5 gave us the second light machine gun skin ever. The first one coming out a full 4 years after the game’s launch. No I am not salty. Sidenote: giving an infamous nazi gun the “fight for freedom” paint job. What did Bethesda mean by this?(The only other skin is enclave..) There is not a single outfit skin, but at least we got winterized metal armor…That’s the worst chafe of your life. 1sters get an exclusive item that prevents spoilage entirely. Marvelous.

Season 15: I actually quite like the styling of this one, but it still curries the same bad habits. No real improvements to speak of save for style. I really wish I had more to say, with this being the last scoreboard, but it honestly just leaves on a brutal whimper

SEASON 16

Finally we arrive at the current season. Maybe this is the one where it will finally turn around. And I regret to inform you that

THERE IS AN ASSAULTRON IN FISHNETS!! 76 is back baby. 76 is ba-!

Oh

Oh no

In the interest of full disclosure, I was planning a 4 year retrospective well before season 16 was actually announced since I had more than enough solid evidence in my case(looking at you season 10), and let me tell you if that announcement wasn't just the most damn monkey paw curling moment of my life. All of these years one of my biggest problems with the system is that most of its “value” comes from things I never wanted nor used. So to see them say “we’ve changed it. Now You get to pick what you get. Just like the old days! ain’t that grand?” should be what I wanted right?

…If I may bring out the math once more, my point with the “you get to choose” of it all was that in the old system, it was much faster to save up for the handful of things you wanted rather than be forced through all these ranks., but you have to get to rank 100 anyways to have access to all the stuff, so the grind isn’t actually lessened.

You need 3,735 tickets to complete the whole thing, at 25 tickets per rank that means you have to reach rank 149 to get everything. There aren't even more rewards. There are a total of 140 rewards with 45 being locked behind Fallout 1st. That means only 95 items for people without 1st. Previous seasons had more than 100, with one reward at each rank and then a bundle at rank 100. So you're doing well over 50% MORE grinding for LESS reward

That said, the tickets you save not buying T45 might allow you to buy all the rank 100 rewards when you actually reach them. So, if you actively save up money, you can finish the scoreboard AT rank 100. I repeat, you have to intentionally manage your resources to “complete” the scoreboard with the same amount of grind. They also went back to their old strategy of not having armor skins, but they still have low rank power armor skins? I guess for collectors...except both the X01 and T51 skins are locked behind Fallout 1st. These are two of the most iconic nostalgia armors representing Fallout 2 and Fallout 1 respectively. They are even locked behind a higher rank than T65(a much stronger armor), proving that they are just doing it for aesthetic reasons, ie to bait collectors. Yet again, another clear instance of Bethesda strong-arming people into buying Fallout 1st/participating in SEASONS via nostalgia bait.

You know what else? It's not even possible to get all of the rewards just doing weeklies and dailies as a free player.

The tickets necessary to get all non 1st items is 3010 tickets I believe. So reach rank 121. Each rank after 100 takes 3,500 score. So with weekly score of 31k(300/day, 100/week) this would take you until the tenth week. This season was 11 weeks long, so it's possible until you remember that there are technically rewards at rank 150. Seeing as you can barely make it to 121...you simply can't get that far. There are ways to increase score gain, but players who have maximized that still find themselves coming up short. One reddit user only reaching rank 145 after playing as optimized as they could without outright grinding the early levels with just xp.

To place the final cherry upon this The Help Pie: atoms are just plainly and objectively less available in this season. For one they're not available as a repeatable after rank 100(and you have to reach 150 to get repeatables anyhow). There are 2200 available for 1st players and only 1200 for f2p. That's right, a full 300 down from season 1 4 YEARS AGO, 650 lower than most seasons and 800 less than the previous ones, but hey at least Fallout 1st subscribers get 200 more. So a 40% decrease in income for us peons and a 10% raise for the bourgeois...except no. Because if we consider the loss of repeatable atoms, even many 1st users have experienced a cut.

Wrapping up, and a Hopeful Future?

So yeah. Fallout 76, despite public opinion, has been gradually getting less worth money and time as the years go on. We get new content less often than we did back in 2020, and our time keeps being worth less in-game currency.

But I do have a slight ray of hope.

As I mentioned before, I have a hypothesis that the reason we stopped getting story content for nearly 3 years after season 5 was because of the 'TEST'. To explain it more thoroughly: The last big story content was 5 main quests way back in July 2021 and it coincided with adding 1st only rewards to the scoreboard. By adding both at the same time they could see if the sales of new quests could rival an influx of Fallout 1st subscriptions. That seems to have failed since it would take nearly 3 years for us to get another story update in March 2024, all the while season passes became more and more geared towards selling Fallout 1st.

But this new story content is important, because it released in conjunction with Season 16, the worst season so far with the greatest disparity between 1st and f2p atoms. More importantly, however, it released in conjunction with the show.

The Fallout TV Show brought a massive influx of new eyes to the series, and of course, its latest game. I find it hard to believe that such a radical change to the Season system and the first story expansion and three years were just a coincidence, this feels like another marketing test.

You see, Season 17 has been announced, following the same model as season 16, and along with brings the FIRST EVER IN 6 YEARS map expansion to 76. So they have a new mass of players, who may not be aware of the severe decline in season quality that, if steam numbers are to be believed, outnumber the existing population(who were there before 16) by a factor of around 4.

Maybe if the map expansion proves as a viable way to keep this huge population going, we could see many more similar updates in the future. However, if the new season pushes significant 1st sales, then it's likely we'll just see the same decline we have been for years.

Unfortunately, I am expecting the latter since we have seen a large portion of the new population already fall off. The thing is, at its core, 76 is still not a very good game. It's easy to forget that when old players all have builds that circumvent most of the problems, but to a new player, the issues will be glaring.

That said, I still believe in the potential. The team has some very clear talent even if it's so often hidden from us.

Some Sources:

Proof you can not reach rank 150: https://www.reddit.com/r/fo76/s/4wcIpN7aJz

Some Math:

Season 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/fo76/comments/gjom2q/score_rank_math_hours_played_and_cost/

Season 16: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LF0po3MfJ2w

Some Lies:

https://segmentnext.com/fallout-76-will-not-have-a-season-pass-or-paid-dlc-pete-hines-confirms-again/

[unhonestlymirror]

"There are attempts by russia to play on historical differences or the historical memory of Poles and Ukrainians. It is about the Volyn tragedy, the 80th anniversary of which will be celebrated in July. President Duda's statement indicates that Poles and Ukrainians will not allow themselves to be divided.

According to the Polish politician, the President of Poland emphasized that it is necessary to work for reconciliation.

"This statement was strong, it was heard, as well as President Duda's statement that it is necessary to work for reconciliation. We know that in June or July a historical event related to the past is being prepared. Among the people close to the Office of the President of Poland it is about the fact that the event can be prepared in a tripartite format, the third country will be Lithuania," Chech emphasized."

.

I don't really get what has Lithuania to do with the Volyn tragedy... but okay. Maybe Polish people think Lithuanians are still angry at them? for Commonwealth and stuff. It doesn't seem to be for me, but Lithuanians know better.

"The new Polish state, especially during the reign of Józef Piłsudski, took the form of authoritarianism. The Polish government considered Galicia and Volhynia as ancient Polish lands, so it tried to increase its influence there. For this purpose, colonization took place (settlement - resettlement of Poles in Volhynia on land that was taken from local Ukrainians, discriminatory distribution of agricultural land in favor of Polish settlers), pacification (repression against the socially active Ukrainian population), restriction of Ukrainians’ rights to education and radical polonization, destruction of Ukrainian churches (especially in Kholm region). The Polish regime of Pilsudski created the Bereza-Kartuzka concentration camp for political opponents. This caused the radicalization of Polish-Ukrainian relations, and in particular found a response in the terrorist activities of the OUN in the 1930s. The culmination was the murder by Ukrainian nationalists of the Minister of Internal Affairs of Poland, Bronisław Pięracki, in 1934. The OUN was able to acquire many supporters in the Polish-occupied Western Ukraine due to the anti-Ukrainian chauvinist policy of the Polish authorities.

The Poles helped Hungary occupy Carpathian Ukraine in March 1939 by sending subversive units to Transcarpathia through their southern border. Fighters of the "Carpathian Sich" (an armed formation that defended the region), especially natives of Halychyna who were captured by the Poles, were often shot on the spot without trial or investigation."

Considering that at those times Ukraine had to fight against communists and nazi troops as well, while trying to become independent, people just couldn't have handled it anymore.

"So, the first blow of the Ukrainian partisans was directed against the Polish employees of the Hitler administration, who worked in the services of forest protection and state estates (liegenshafts). Gradually, they also spread to the Polish rural population, and both to the colonists of the interwar period and to the older Polish population."

This gave the Poles a reason to burn Ukrainian villages even more actively.

Because it happened during ww2, it's impossible to tell how much people died because of whom exactly.

"According to several Ukrainian historians, attacks on Polish villages were also carried out by special units of the NKVD, dressed as UPA fighters, mainly intending to destroy the Polish underground, forcing Poles to seek contacts with the Red Partisans, stimulating cooperation with the Soviet authorities, and also initiating attacks on Ukrainian villages, which especially supported the UPA or served as their bases. Among these units were those whose ranks included former UPA fighters who worked for the NKVD. On November 30, 2007, the Security Service of Ukraine (SBU) published archives showing that until 1954, about 150 such special groups, with a total number of 1,800 people, operated in Western Ukraine."

It is believed that about 20,000 on both sides died from the Volyn tragedy. But it can be led to hundreds of thousands.

It is definitely not something Ukrainians are proud of. And, looking at today's politics of Poland, it is most likely something they are ashamed of as well. The only thing russians does not count on is that this tragedy in the light of (relatively) new information becomes a great reason to unite against russia.

[august-anon]

prompt: one character knows how to read their partner like an open book so can totally tell when the other is in a ler mood even when they’re denying it, maybe with the line “oh hush, you know there’s no point in lying to me anymore” (or something along those lines)? dealer’s choice for fandom!

I don't even remember how old these prompts are at this point, thank you for being so patient all this time lol. Hope you enjoy this!!

----

You Want To

Fandom: Witcher

Ship(s): Geraskier

Characters (lee/ler): Lee!Jaskier/Ler!Geralt

Word Count: 2308

Summary: Geralt's in a bit of a mood, and Jaskier thinks it'll be a bit fun to tease him. He doesn't account for the way Geralt teases him back once he finally convinces Geralt to give in and tickle him.

[ao3 link]

------------------

Jaskier liked to think he knew Geralt pretty well, after all these years.

He knew what each particular furrow of Geralt’s brow meant. He knew how to translate each and every hum and grunt. He knew how to measure the tenseness in Geralt’s shoulders, in Geralt’s jaw, in Geralt’s fingers. He knew exactly how Geralt liked his hair played with, and what scents Geralt preferred in his baths.

So, after well over a decade of learning to read him, Jaskier thought he knew Geralt rather well. And he was pretty certain he was right about what was plaguing Geralt, now. Twitching fingers, shifting eyes, hungry gazes. The fact that he couldn’t look away every time Jaskier had stretched so far (and maybe he had started doing it on purpose, just a little bit. Sue him, he liked feeling Geralt’s eyes on him, and the added element of teasing was just a plus).

Geralt seemed to be in quite the mood. Of course, Geralt nearly always seemed like he was in some sort of mood, with his scowling and his growling and his generally aggressive nature, but this was quite the different mood.

Geralt wanted someone squirming beneath those twitching fingers, squealing and giggling with abandon. He wanted to pin someone to the ground and draw out every mirthful sound they were capable of. He wanted to bury those fingers into someone’s flesh until they pleaded for mercy.

And luckily for him, Jaskier was more than happy to oblige.

But the thing was… teasing Geralt was just so fun.

It wasn’t often Jaskier could get Geralt’s full, undivided attention, and he was going to take advantage of this while it lasted. The way Geralt’s fingers twitched when Jaskier stretched his arms high above his head. The way Geralt’s nostrils flared when Jaskier slipped off his boots and wiggled his aching feet during a rest from their travelling. The way Geralt eyed him like a starving man eyed a buffet when Jaskier added a little more bubbliness to his laughter throughout the day.

Teasing Geralt was fun. The only downside was, it led to Jaskier himself getting trapped in a little bit of a mood as well.

A mood leaving him aching to be underneath someone’s twitching fingers, squealing and giggling with abandon. A mood to be pinned to the ground and have every mirthful sound he was capable of painstakingly drawn out of him. A mood to have fingers buried into his flesh until he pleaded for mercy, and then keep going until he truly couldn’t take it anymore.

And that just wasn’t fair.

So Jaskier convinced Geralt to let them stop and make camp far earlier in the day than they normally would. He agreed way too easily, and Jaskier knew his plans were set into motion.

They stopped next to a river that fed into a nearby lake. Jaskier stripped and bathed, washing his clothing as well, setting it all out on a rock to dry. It left Jaskier only in his underclothes as he rolled out his bedroll and settled atop it. He watched as Geralt deliberately kept his gaze away from Jaskier’s skin, putting an outrageous amount of attention to unpacking things for their camp and untacking Roach. Jaskier lasted all of five minutes before he groaned and flopped backwards on his bedroll.

“Geralt, come on,” he said. “Just tickle me already. We both know you want to.”

Geralt shot him a glare, but Jaskier watched on it glee as it froze on his face and he swallowed heavily at the sight of Jaskier stretched out on the ground. Jaskier tried to squirm tantalizingly, stretching his arms high above his head and leaving them there. This was starting to feel more like a seduction than a tease, and Jaskier had to force down the flush that wanted to rise to his face.

Geralt didn’t like him that way, and that was fine by Jaskier. He could pine perfectly in peace without it getting in the way.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Geralt ground out, turning away again.

“Oh hush, you big brute,” Jaskier said, wiggling his toes. “You should know by now that there’s no point in trying to lie to me. Not anymore.”

Geralt turned his scowl back onto Jaskier. Jaskier gave him a bright grin in return, and it only made Geralt narrow his eyes.

“You’ve known all day,” Geralt said eventually.

Jaskier bit his lip. “I have.”

“You’ve been teasing me.” Geralt’s face darkened. “All day.”

This time when Jaskier squirmed, it was neither intentional nor meant to be tantalizing. “Maybe. Just a little.”

Geralt stalked toward him. “A little?”

Jaskier was pinned to his bedroll by Geralt’s weight before he knew what was happening. He gasped and tried to wiggle out from under Geralt, vicious swarms of butterflies suddenly filling up his chest and stomach.

“Wait--wait wait! Let’s talk about this--”

“I don’t think there’s any more need,” Geralt said. “Unless it’s me reminding you how ticklish you are. Or how helpless you are. Or how I know all of your most ticklish places by heart.”

“Oh shit,” Jaskier breathed.

Geralt gave him a feral grin.

Jaskier very quickly found himself inside the grave he had been digging for himself all day, though he hadn’t noticed it was a grave until just now. He was practically naked, only smallclothes left on to protect his decency, and had been teasing a witcher all day, and a witcher with a proclivity for tickling him silly at that.

Jaskier really hadn’t thought this one through, had he?

Geralt reached up to grab Jaskier’s wrists where they still rested above his head, gathering them both in one of his hands. He gave them a brief squeeze before pulling away.

“These stay here,” he said. “Or I’ll make you regret it.”

Jaskier gulped and nodded.

And then Geralt did the most evil thing. Geralt teased back.

His fingers just barely brushed over Jaskier’s skin, so light that he wasn’t even sure Geralt was touching him despite the goosebumps erupting all over his body. He squirmed and clenched his hands into fists, biting back a whine. Geralt remained straight-faced and quiet the whole time, watching Jaskier’s every twitch and flinch and wiggle.

Jaskier finally broke. “Geralt, come on.” He tried to move into Geralt’s touch more, but Geralt followed and kept his fingers just as feather-light. “Geralt!”

A smirk tugged at the edges of Geralt’s lips. “I don’t know, Jask. I think this may be all you deserve, after teasing me so much.”

Jaskier opened his mouth to protest, but Geralt’s touch became firmer right at that moment and all that came out was a gasp. It wasn’t much firmer, not even firm enough to make him laugh -- and that was saying something, considering Jaskier often found himself cackling from only feathers -- but it was enough to make him jump and pant and let out breathy little whines.

Geralt’s fingers skimmed down his arms and through his hollows, across his ribs and sides, over his stomach and hips, and all the while not giving Jaskier what he truly craved. Surely Geralt was craving this as much as Jaskier at this point, right? Surely Geralt couldn’t hold out much longer, after a whole day of teasing. Jaskier certainly couldn’t hold out much longer, and he’d only been suffering a handful of minutes.

“Gods, Geralt, please!”

Geralt leaned down to whisper directly into his ear. “Please, what?”

At this point, Jaskier was considering pulling his arms down just to see if Geralt’s “punishment” would give him what he was searching for. Odds were, though, with as mischievously cruel as Geralt was feeling, it would be the exact opposite. Maybe he would tie Jaskier down to a tree or a rock and wiggle his fingers centimeters away from Jaskier’s skin, making it crawl and his nerves beg for the touch even more. Making Jaskier impossibly more desperate and never delivering. Just the thought of it made a pit of excitement swoop in his belly.

“Please, tickle me, Geralt.”

“Are you sure you’ve earned that?” Geralt murmured, still directly into Jaskier’s ear.

“Yes, yes, please. You’ve had your revenge, you terrible witcher.”

Geralt hummed quietly, and Jaskier swore the air around his neck was displaced by the vibrations. A sound alone couldn’t tickle like that, that had to be the explanation.

“Are you sure you deserve that?” Geralt asked.

“Please,” Jaskier panted. “Please, Geralt, I’ll be good. I’ll be so good.”

Geralt chuckled, lips directly against the shell of his ear. “Will you, now?”

“Yes, just tickle me already!”

Jaskier didn’t expect his outburst to get Geralt to comply so quickly. He thought there’d be a few more moments of teasing, a warm-up before the main event, but Geralt didn’t waste time with any of that. He immediately sat back and reached behind his own hulking form, latching onto Jaskier’s inner thighs and kneading.

Jaskier’s eyes bulged out of his head as he instantly started screaming in laughter. His eyes squeezed shut quickly after as he kicked his legs out, instinctively trying to displace the torturous feeling.

“No, please!”

Geralt rumbled with laughter above him. “Was this not what you wanted, lark?”

Jaskier couldn’t answer, he could only squeal and cackle. Geralt’s hands shifted upward, finding a particularly sweet spot inside Jaskier’s worst sweet spot, and Jaskier went silent. He tried to be good like he promised, he really did, but he couldn’t really help how he shot upright and into Geralt’s chest. He laughed into Geralt’s shirt -- beyond glad he had removed the armor for once, this was much more comfortable -- as he reached around, trying to pry Geralt’s fingers away.

“I thought you said you’d be good,” Geralt said, immediately stopping his fingers. Jaskier could hear the teasing smile in his voice.

Jaskier slumped against him, too busy catching his breath to respond. He felt Geralt’s hand sweep up and down his back, trying to help calm him despite his words. His eyes popped open when he felt Geralt’s lips press into his sweaty hair, and he tilted his head back to look at Geralt. Judging by the look on Geralt’s face, he was surprised too, like he hadn’t quite meant to do that.

Geralt cleared his throat. “Would you like to take your punishment now or later?”

Jaskier bit his lip. “I think I deserve a reward first, don’t you?”

Geralt shot him an incredulous look. “A reward? For what?”

Jaskier gave him a cheeky grin. “For holding out as long as I did. For being an outlet for your little mood. For being the best companion you could ever ask for. Take your pick.”

Geralt hummed. “And what would this reward entail?”

Jaskier straightened his back and tilted his head up, so that their noses were nearly brushing. “Take your pick,” he whispered.

Geralt searched his eyes for a moment longer before closing the distance between them, pressing their lips together. Jaskier sighed into the kiss and reached up to wrap his arms around Geralt’s neck. They kissed for long moments and Jaskier became dizzy with it, feeling like the sun itself was buzzing bright in his chest. When Geralt finally pulled back, it took all of Jaskier’s willpower not to chase his lips.

“You tease,” Geralt murmured against his jaw, having ducked his head to tuck his face into Jaskier’s neck.

“I can hardly believe it was that easy, myself,” Jaskier breathed out. “I’ve wanted to do that for years.”

“Tease,” Geralt repeated. “I should add onto your punishment for that.”

Jaskier gaped. “What did I do to deserve that?!”

Geralt didn’t answer him. Instead, he pushed Jaskier back onto his back and slid off Jaskier’s legs. He lifted one up, draping it over his shoulder. Jaskier gulped, his mind going in a very different direction.

“This may tickle,” Geralt said, a sly look in his eye.

Jaskier’s own eyes went wide again as he tried to catch up. Geralt’s lips attached to the thigh he had draped over his shoulder, nibbling and kissing in the most ticklish of ways. Add in the short, scratchy scruff that littered Geralt’s cheeks and jaw and Jaskier was in his own personal hell -- or perhaps this was heaven, not that he’d ever admit it.

Either way, Jaskier howled with laughter, his eyes welling up with tears of mirth. Geralt chuckled against his thigh, his breath fanning out over the skin and making Jaskier shiver. Geralt then had the brilliant idea of blowing a raspberry against his inner thigh and Jaskier’s nerves exploded, tears spilling over as his laughter went silent once more. Geralt blew another raspberry, this time shaking his head so his scruff tickled Jaskier just as much, his stray hairs brushing across Jaskier’s skin with the movement and doing plenty of damage itself.

After a third and final raspberry, Geralt finally pulled back, dropping Jaskier’s leg from his shoulder and letting him curl up on the bedroll. He reached down to wipe away Jaskier’s tears as he caught his breath.

“Next time,” Geralt said, “listen to instructions.”

Jaskier chuckled weakly. “It’s a bit easier to listen to instructions when they’re not quite so impossible,” he said. Then, quieter, “When’s next time?”

Geralt flopped down onto the bedroll next to him. “Soon as we’d like.”

Jaskier hummed. “I’ll have to get my revenge, you know. As well as you know my weak points, I also know yours.”

Geralt shifted behind him and Jaskier let loose a tired grin. His revenge could wait for tomorrow, at least. For now, he intended to catch his breath and figure out how to get Geralt to kiss him like that again. And again, and again, and again.

And maybe get a few more tickles out of it along the way.

[serene-victory-77]

Why The Crows Being Teenagers Is Actually Perfectly Realistic

There’s a TL;DR are the end because wow I like to rant.

I lightly discuss the general situations they’re all in to explore how they are frighteningly mature and competent, but it’s not particularly depressing or descriptive, it’s definitely lighter than the books

I thought about this post with a joke first: “People who think that Six of Crows is unrealistic because they’re so young clearly have not spent much time with traumatized honors students.”

It’s a bit of an exaggeration, but the point stands.

But I decided that, hm, actually, I could make a point about this. I totally agree with the aging up of the characters in the Shadow and Bone show, but when people straight up say that the books are wrong or unrealistic for having a young crew, I get annoyed, and here’s why (other than me reading the books for the first time when I was 13 and thinking ‘Huh okay, I see it’ and now being lowkey offended when people say they ignore it for being unrealistic):

On Inej

- At first I thought Inej’s wisdom and general demeanor was one of the most unrealistic things in the book

- When I thought about it longer, I was like “Actually, she’s 16, right? I’ve sent some of the most lyrical philosophy trying to help my friends while in high school. My friends have done the same. It’s valid.”

- Frankly, teenagers love hard-hitting philosophical truths. They love repeating what they’ve read or heard in movies and in books and from family stories. They love sharing little bits of wisdom they have come up with

- Inej’s ability to hear and understand philosophy and wisdom that she was surrounded by for 14 straight years and then sit on it and elaborate it for her friends to understand, or even just to piss them off in Kaz’s case? 

- Teenagers have that. They do it. So, Inej’s Wisdom passes, to me. It’s valid. 

As for her being calm

- You know how everyone jokes that Kaz seems calm on the outside but when you get to his POV he’s like “What the fuck” at the Van Eck house or just straight up “Huh, is this revenge for making tree jokes” at the Djel River thingy in the Ice Court?

- Inej is like that, too. And she gets angry, and she gets confused, or exhausted.

- AKA every quiet kid ever. Like, are you kidding? Have you ever been in a situation in which it’s literally chaos all around you, people are screaming and things are being destroyed (think middle school classroom with bitchy long term substitute and even worse students), and you’re just, calm? You pick up your things, you do what you need to do?

- That’s Inej. Like, what else is she gonna do? She’s smart enough to know that panicking won’t help anyone, and so she just rides it out. Internally she might be like “Why is this happening” but frankly, her being quiet and controlled in most situations is probably a coping mechanism and I respect that

- Pretty sure this is also based on the fact that the Suli have no land for their own and constantly have to keep moving. It might align with generational trauma, I’m sure someone could explain it better than me, but being able to keep your cool while constantly having to change and adapt to new situations, in, say, a country with hellfire politics and no land to call your own? Seems like a hereditary trait that could be useful in Ketterdam, although it’s sad.

On Inej’s abilities

- Simone Biles started training when she was 6 and went to the World Artistic Gymnastics Championships when she was 16, where she qualified in all the events. 

- There are videos of people walking over tightropes as young as three years old. We know Inej didn’t start that young, but not only was she naturally talented at it, but she spent a lot of time practicing. I think it’s valid. Plus, some of her family members do some pretty crazy things in her flashbacks, because that’s the whole point of what they do. 

- Youngest person to beat American Ninja Warrior was 16 year old Vance Walker

- Inej has a variety of of tools that help her wall climb, and while it’s true that she started young and got good really fast, she already had a history of physical work that would help her, and from what we can gleam from the book, a surprising amount of free time in which she was actively encouraged to learn everything she could. 

So that’s Inej! I think her skills are perfectly possible for someone with her history and situation. It’s true that she’s naturally skilled, but that’s not actually all that unusual. And her demeanor and wisdom do fit in with what a lot of teenagers are like and the circumstances she was brought up in

Onto Kaz!

- One thing I hear about is that Kaz is too smart for not having gone to school and also too young to know all that he does

- Do you all KNOW how many self-taught people there have been in this world? The word for people who are self-taught is autodidacts, and honestly a huge amount of famous people apply. Like many, many other people in history (there’s a whole list of them in Wikipedia), he had an vested interest in a field and he learned all he could. Sure, those fields were magic tricks and math, but still.

- Suddenly I have a lot of thoughts

- Okay, think, hyperfixations. That’s essentially what Kaz’s thing with magic tricks was, right? Have any of you ever spent time with an eight year old that clearly really, really loves dinosaurs? Those kids can spout names and facts and identify them by their skeletons and frankly know more than I ever will. Kaz’s was magic tricks. All kids are special.

- Kaz continued working on magic tricks and practicing them for years, so, I think that gets a pass. 

- As for the math! Look, a Fact Of Life is that some kids are just Like That, whether it be possibly from neurodivergence or other factors:

- Flo and Kay Lyman are twins with Autism who basically have the calendar of EVER memorized. Kaz memorizing card decks is sensible, and these ladies don’t need to look up anything to figure it out, so Kaz doing sums inside his head seems plausible. His “photographic memory’ isn’t impossible, although the term itself might be incorrect.

- Katherine Johnson who worked at NASA (yes, the lady from Hidden Figures), was so good at math that she was in high school by age 10 and went to college at age 15. It’s true that she had some teaching, but 1. There’s no evidence Kaz had absolutely no schooling, even if it was just at home with books and 2. Kaz was 9 when he came to Ketterdam, and after Jordie died, when he wasn’t surviving, he was learning. 

- Human calculator is a term that is applied to children a lot and there’s definitely plenty of videos showing how smart these kids are and them doing mental math easily, which he does in the books

- He had a LOT of pressure on him to figure out all he could, and if he wanted to move forward, he was going to have to learn a lot. He spent hours practicing magic tricks, for all we know he spent hours practicing math too. We know Jordie was a bit of a bookworm too, so Kaz from a young age probably already had a reason to learn. Personally, a lot of my love for books was inspired by my older sibling when I was younger

- Young people are adaptable. Kaz is incredibly adaptable. The term prodigy exists because of people like him through history. 

- As for him being rational, there’s no other way to survive. Some of the greatest soldiers in history have been very, very young, and very, very smart. It’s true tacticians are generally considered to be older, but that doesn’t mean there haven’t been very young ones. 

- A lot of the generals I found were like, 19 years old, but Kaz is 1. not a general and 2. in a place where young people take up the mantle really, really quickly, and frankly it’s been like that for a long time. I still think this passes. This isn’t relevant but William the Conqueror was apparently called “The Bastard”?

- Frankly, underground communities of thieves probably don’t go around publishing their escapades so to me it makes sense that I can’t just look up “famous young thieves” and get anything that makes sense, but I did try

- Y’all I tried to do research on youngest escape artists since I think Kaz qualifies and I found myself in what I think is a magicians forum? It’s from 2002-ish and I feel like I’ve just found a relic. I can’t definitely prove they’re all saying the truth, but some of the people there talk about 10-11 year olds at magic camps, so, it’s not impossible for this to be a skill Kaz learned really young, particularly when he made a habit of following around magicians

- I think he passes the realism check overall

For the other Crows:

- Nina being so proficiently multilingual makes sense to me, because she’s been in the Little Palace almost her entire life with all the best teachers they could afford at her disposal. Some people just click with languages. One such would be Timothy Doner, who spoke 23 languages at 16. 

- Nina is a child soldier. She of course can handle the battlefield, although I imagine there’s a degree of trauma that she has to deal with (although it’s true that most of her work was always meant to angle her towards being a spy).

- Jesper was taught to shoot from a young age by Aditi, who was likely incredibly proficient. Plus, there’s mentions of him and his father being on some sort of frontier at one point in the books, so, it’s likely that Jesper got his fair share of ‘being a child soldier” since he would’ve been 15 or younger. Plus, with being a Fabrikator, he gets a leg up

- Jesper’s smart y’all, he just also likes to have fun

- I am a little terrified by the fact that I looked up ‘youngest sharpshooter’ and found out about a 9 year old girl (Addysson “Addy” Soltau) who can indeed shoot guns, but uh, it does prove my point

- Matthias... I haven’t heard anyone really argue about Matthias. He’s the oldest at 18 and again, he’s essentially a religious child soldier. Of course he would be built af and know how to handle himself in a fight, and in a flashback about meeting Trassel, we’re told that he was actually distanced from the other boys and was the biggest and strongest/smartest of the group. Perhaps not compared to Kaz, but still

- We know how Wylan ended up how he is, so I don’t think i have to defend how he’s both a musical prodigy, good at math, and good at chemistry. Plenty of kids who can’t do one thing will immediately gravitate to a different field (think AP math students who can’t write essays, or those kids who could analyse a book and it’s metaphors in class but didn’t understand geometry).

- Granted he took it far but it’s kinda implied that  his father ignored him eventually and what else was Wylan going to do

- I don’t really know how he did chemistry while not being able to read the symbols and stuff, but that’s likely because I’ve never had to learn the way he did and also I really suck at Chemistry, but I refuse to believe that it invalidates his capabilities

Final Thoughts:

- They’re Traumatized Honors Students

- People might say that “it’s unrealistic that all the smart ones somehow ended up together” but again they’re traumatized honors students and those gravitate to each other

- Of course the smart ones ended up together, they’re the ones in those crazy situations precisely because they are prodigies. Nina wouldn’t have met Matthias if she wasn’t skilled and a spy, Kaz wouldn’t have known Inej if she hadn’t been skilled at silence (I can’t explain that one but uh ninjas did/do exist and it IS still a fantasy world). Kaz would have never been a leader of the Dregs in a position to find Jesper if he hadn’t been so determined to rise to the top, and Jesper wouldn’t have been in Ketterdam if his father hadn’t thought that Jesper was smart enough to get that chance.

- You know how those fringe revolutionary artists for new eras end up knowing all knowing each other and even hanging out? That’s them.

- I have decided there is a strong basis for Autistic Kaz, someone who is more studied than me should feel free to explore this.

- I read this book a few years ago, A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah. It’s about this guy’s experiences as a boy soldier and it’s a painful read so I’m not sure I recommend it as a casual read, but he talked about these young kids being able to actually make competent military strategies and handle warfare. It’s an extreme example of what I’m trying to explain when it comes to them being able to handle the brutality of their situation, but it’s true, essentially

- They are definitely serious, but if you think they’re not teenagers I just, disagree so much. They have moments of lighthearted banter, they make light of their situation, they try to support each other Nina covers it so well in her farewell at the end of Crooked Kingdom: The little rescues of laughing at each others jokes or eating together and just supporting each other, is not only a very human thing, but a very teenager thing. 

- Scary experiences that shape us happen all the time, and although for most it’s not the things that the Crows experience, picking each other up is a big part of why they do read as teenagers to me. I’ve seen kids be able to seriously converse about things like being questioned by the police, or being left to their own devices for days at a time, or the general impending doom they all feel, and it’s dark, but they’re also going to joke about silly puns 20 minutes later. 

- Teenagers aren’t exempt from terrifying maturity and competence

- Finally: Despite all I said, it’s a fantasy story and doesn’t have to be realistic

In the end, everyone can believe what they want to believe, but this is my case for my opinion.

TL;DR The Crows are all prodigies and a lot of their achievements and capabilities are based in reality and there are real people who actually achieved things like what they’ve done. Messed up prodigies gravitate to messed up prodigies, hence how they all end up together. When it comes to their mental state, most of them have been brought up their entire lives in situations that required for them to problem solve and keep their cool even when things are going to hell.

[intergalactic-garbage]

things i would’ve loved to see in hoo:

- trans dude frank

- more homoerotic interactions between reyna and annabeth (think about it - both children of the war goddesses of their respective pantheons, their wits the sharpest of their camps; then cj is attacked by possesed leo and reyna thinks annabeth, whom she trusted and came to care for in those few moments they shared, betrayed her)

- jason “raised by wolves” grace - dude straight up lived with lupa’s pack for YEARS and got raised by them during his formative years (when going on how normal human memories, he wouldn’t have even remembered his mother - his earliest memories would have been of lupa), and yet we never see him tearing at a steak with his face? he’s never tapping his foot, wanting to scratch an itch with it? this would’ve been perfectly in line with riordan’s humor, he missed an opportunity

- rachel elizabeth dare and grover playing an actual role in the plot, not just being seen in that one scene in hoh. the different povs in chapers should’ve been played around with more - give us a pov of someone from the camps, or rachel/grover - the seven were only one part of the many moving elements in the plot and the dream sequences hardly made up for it

- romance being either tied directly into the plot like in pjo or eliminated completely; not seen as a plot device (eg. reyna considering getting involved with octavian when confronted with the possibility of him becoming praetor)

- a villain who’s more than literally just “ehehe i am earth. am bad. want to kill you. no i don’t have a particular reason”. pjo had luke which was so good because he spent the first book establishing how nice he is, how he’s an older brother to everyone at camp, how eager he’s to show you the ropes and young me knew he was going to turn but i had such a hard time believing it. the rest of the books don’t make things any easier because luke is plotting this horrible thing, but is it really horrible? until today people are fighting about whether he was right or not. and they have to stop him but he used to be their friend. they used to care about each other so much and that care doesn’t just go away when he betrays them. so they’re faced with one impossible choice and they know what they have to do but can they? anyways hoo wishes it was half as complex as pjo

- the leo/sammy doppleganger situation should have been expanded upon more beyond the exuse for the leo/hazel/frank love triangle. no i don’t know how. but it just makes it look like rick put it in there for funsies and never did anything with it. my mind keeps going back to a time travel plot but i know this is the riordanverse and We Don’t Do That Here

- octavian being more than “i created this character so fans could have someone to hate”

- the author not feeling so needed to write a blockbuster epic story like the avengers or whatever was in cinemas at that time. it was supposed to be a continuation of pjo, but instead of expanding upon the characters we had met in it, we barely saw any of them, they were forgotten, only the few main were placed in the spotlight, along with a bunch of new characters we’d never seen before. the focus was on the seven and a few other characters

- “the gods decided to not interact with mortals” was a stupid decision, especially considering the ending of tlo. percy asked the gods to be more present in their children’s lives, they, albeit reluctantly, accepted. and the next time we see them they remove themselves from their lives. the central conflict of the previous series had arised because nobody knew of the gods, what they were up to. there was no lexicon of rules, they just had to wait; and they grew tired of it. the gods should have been visiting them, awkwardly integrating themselves in their lives, not the exact opposite. not setting up for another demigod uprising

- i know this is just wishful thinking but. there should’ve been more of the riordanverse. yes i know there were already a bajilion other plot lines and we had the romans introduced but. i would’ve been fine with even just a little nod. or a character from a different pantheon appearing. this is all in the same universe as the huge chaos snake and the other, world snake and i just think it should’ve been expanded upon more

- frank’s firewood should have had. a role. you set up your character to be “the most powerful” of the seven, all extremely powerful protagonists, and then decide to ignore him for the last book and a half?

- by far one of the things that irritated me the most was how everyone survived. this was supposed to be a sequel series to a children’s series that had one of the main characters stab himself after realizing that this was the right thing to do. a daughter of the goddess of beauty got acid spit in her face. tlo is my favourite of the pjo books because it’s the climax, and it lays it down as it is - not as some heroic fight scene of good vs. evil, but people, being people. making choices for the ones they love and making mistakes because they don’t know what’s right. in boo, there’s an attempt at this “great last battle”, but if anything, this was undermined by the fact that nobody died. (i did like how leo coming back was framed, even if i’m not a terrible fan of caleo, nico feeling leo’s spirit alive, leo having a “surprise” chapter at the end.. goosebumps man) (though i suppose jason could’ve died right there and there. “to storm or fire” and everything)

- more hazel/nico getting confused by modern technology - i just think it would’ve been funny to see hazel hear about some event that happened between the 30s and present day and be like “you said what-” it’s good humor and also characterbuilding

- however, if we’re so horribly set on having romantic relationships, valdangelo is right there. nico can’t face his queerness. leo understands machines better than people. they both carry an immense sadness within, but it made them totally different people. and the dynamic? everything you could’ve wanted

[joachimnapoleon]

Why did Murat and Eugène hate each other? I didn't even know that they did until the recent posts.

This was actually the subject of a discussion I had recently with a friend of mine whose interest in Eugène is on par with my interest in Murat; and even though I haven't studied Eugène in great depth yet myself, we ended up drawing some pretty similar conclusions/opinions about their relationship based on what we knew about each of them. And we both agreed that "hatred" is probably too strong a word to describe their feelings about each other. I would say that Murat's feelings about Eugène were essentially a dislike borne out of envy. Eugène's feelings about Murat are a bit harder to precisely pin down. During the earlier years of their relationship--after he becomes aware of Murat's dislike for him--it strikes me as the sort of bewildered, defensive dislike you might develop for someone whom you've discovered dislikes you, without you fully understanding what you've done to merit their dislike. Later in their relationship, I think it evolves into a certain amount of contempt on Eugène's part, especially after the way Murat hastily leaves the army in January 1813 and then all the ensuing political drama and Murat's not-so-subtle negotiations with Austria throughout most of the rest of the year.

There's no indication I've come across of any immediate dislike between the two of them. I can't be sure when exactly the two of them met, but at the very least they would've been around each other in Egypt when teenage Eugène was serving as one of Napoleon's aides-de-camp. Their relationship doesn't seem to have taken a bad turn until the early 1800s. After Murat marries Caroline and becomes tied to the Bonaparte family, both he and Caroline (and the other Bonaparte siblings) grow increasingly resentful over the favor being shown towards Josephine's children by Napoleon. Here's an excerpt on the subject from Hortense's memoirs:

The Emperor, although he did not mean to do so, had done everything possible to inflame the jealousy his family felt toward us. He had for a long time treated me with special favor, because as he desired to adopt the son he wished the mother to be especially respected. How many times Caroline came and said to me: "I entertain the same way you do; I always act as you do, because I come and ask in advance how you are going to act; and yet the Emperor always holds you up to me as an example as though you were the only person who knows how to behave. Then too he is all the time saying to Murat and his [Napoleon's] brothers, ‘Look at Eugène.' How can he expect harmony to reign among us?"

Hortense writes also that "Murat would not suffer a younger man to take precedence at court over him. He broke his sword on hearing the news that the Emperor had adopted my brother."

The formal adoption of Eugène by Napoleon took place in January of 1806. Six months prior to that came something that had infuriated Murat just as much: Napoleon naming Eugène Viceroy of Italy. In the aftermath of learning of this, Murat sulked, and dragged his heels when it came to writing to congratulate Eugène on his new title. The exchange between them is a comical read. Murat claims he assumed a letter he'd written back in April--two months before Eugène's promotion to Viceroy--would somehow suffice to express his goodwill towards Eugène, and that he didn't feel he was obligated to write a new one since he'd learned of Eugène's promotion via the gazettes and not directly from Eugène himself. Murat writes that his feelings are hurt. Eugène replies that his feelings were hurt by Murat's silence and that, even if he'd learned of Murat getting a nice promotion through the newspapers himself, he would've still hurried to write to congratulate Murat. (The letters are posted at the end in their entirety for your reading pleasure.)

Murat's dynamic with Eugène is... not what you might expect, given that there was a fourteen-year age difference. And that, in my opinion (and my friend who studies Eugène concurs with me on this), has a hell of a lot to do not only with the personalities of each one, but also with each of their relationships with Napoleon. Eugène, of course, lost his his father during the Reign of Terror, when he was still a child. Throughout his life, when he gains an attachment to an older man, he tends to look to that older man as a father figure--from Hoche to Napoleon to his father-in-law King Maximillian of Bavaria., and even Marshal MacDonald. Ney, who was particularly close to him, names one of his own sons after Eugène. Eugène's biographer Kerautret concludes that Eugène spent most of his life as the eternal "fils," or as my friend sums it up, "The boy. Always looking for a father figure (and inspiring in most men the immediate urge to go all paternal over him), always searching for someone to look up to, to dedicate himself to, for someone whose appreciation he wants to win and to whom he wants to prove his worth." Eugène does not have this dynamic with Murat, and Murat, who was as paternal a figure as it gets, does not seem to have exhibited the slightest desire to have this sort of relationship with Eugène. Their relationship comes across more like a sibling rivalry than anything, even in spite of the large age difference. Maximillian even remarked to his son Ludwig at one point in 1810 that "The Viceroy and the King of Naples cannot suffer each other... but when together they tutoyer each other and to see them together one would think them the best of friends." Basically there had to be a hell of a lot of disingenuousness going on in their relationship, especially by 1810, since it was supposedly Eugène who had intercepted and forwarded letters to Napoleon implicating Murat in the Talleyrand/Fouché scheme to make Murat Napoleon's successor in the event that the Emperor died without an heir.

Now, as for how their mutual relationship to Napoleon related to their own relationship. Obviously Eugène looked at Napoleon as a father figure. But I've personally come to believe that, at least to some extent, Murat did too--Murat's being two years older than Napoleon notwithstanding. In numerous letters to Napoleon he refers to himself as "your pupil" and "your child"; in an anguished letter in 1810 he refers to Napoleon having "cherished" him "like a father, like my benefactor." And Napoleon very much tended to view himself as a father-figure over his subordinates. I can't help but look at Murat's relationship with Napoleon and think that Murat came to view Eugène as a sort of usurper in a way, as he grew closer to Napoleon and Napoleon heaped more favors and affection on him (and especially as Murat's relationship with Napoleon, by contrast, grew increasingly worse over the years, especially from 1809 on). So I think a certain amount of Murat's dislike for Eugène--most of it, in fact--was from this feeling of having been spurned by the man he revered, for a younger man whom Murat simply didn't feel deserved these proofs of trust and affection more than he did.

By the 1812 campaign Eugène was aware enough of Murat's dislike for him that he practically begs Napoleon to let him return to Italy rather than be placed under Murat's direct command. This is after Napoleon gives the command of the army to Murat because he knows perfectly well that Murat absolutely, beyond a shadow of doubt would've pulled a Jérôme and taken his ball and gone home if he had been placed under Eugène's command. Napoleon prevails upon Eugène to stick around, which was good in the long run, because Murat was not the man to handle a disintegrating army at the end of a disastrous campaign when he was already in a state of total demoralization anyway.

So yeah, by the time Murat's negotiations with Austria began in 1813, and he found himself corresponding back and forth with Eugène and, by early 1814, having to take the field against him after his defection, their relationship had long since deteriorated, and Murat's defection undoubtedly further reduced his standing in Eugène's eyes. That being said, Eugène was not completely without sympathy. In response to an agonized letter from Murat in early February, as Murat was staring the prospect of taking up arms against his country in the face, Eugène wrote the following reply:

I perceived by Your Majesty's letter, and especially by the few words added in your own writing, how much distressed you are by the situation in which you find yourself. These conflicts which arise in your heart do not astonish me; they filled me rather with a feeling of deep tenderness in reading them. It is impossible, in fact, that Your Majesty could contemplate without sadness the thought of seeing Frenchmen enemies to Frenchmen, who have always considered themselves honoured in counting them as fellow-citizens! I pray Your Majesty to listen to the promptings of your heart, and to reject the counsel which will result in nothing but bitter regrets for you. The Emperor has left Paris. In a few days the time of danger, or at least uncertainty, will be passed, and Your Majesty will find politics accord with the sentiments of your heart. [4 February 1814]

Unfortunately Murat's new allies did end up strong-arming him into taking the field against Eugène, and the rest is history. If Eugène left behind any remarks regarding Murat's tragic end, I have yet to come across it; nor has my friend who has spent a great deal more time going through his correspondence. It's a shame Eugène didn't leave behind any memoirs, which might have given us a better idea of his feelings regarding Murat. I've tried to piece it together as best as I can from what I know so far.

Thanks for the ask!

(Here are the full letters between Murat and Eugène that I mentioned above. These are from Volume 3 of Lettres et documents pour servir l’histoire de Joachim Murat)

***

Murat to Eugène 17 July 1805

To H.I.H. the Prince Eugène, Viceroy of Italy

I have been informed, my dear Prince, that you have deigned to notice that I was a bit late in responding to the letter that you'd done me the honor of writing me upon my nomination to the dignity of Grand Admiral. May it be permitted to me to tell Y(our) S(erene) H(ighness) that I had thought myself able to dispense with replying to it, being able to take your letter myself for an answer to that which I had the honor to write to you through Madame Ruga. It contained sincere compliments on your promotion to the dignity of Arch-Chancellor of State, and recommendations for that beauty; purely a formal recommendation, would a pretty woman ever have need of one with you?

I sincerely applauded the choice that H(is) M(ajesty) made of Y(our) H(ighness) for Viceroy of Italy; I did not speak of it to you, having only learned about it through the gazettes. I had thought that the unequivocal feelings that I have always manifested for you, would have earned me a communication of this memorable circumstance of your career. Your silence has affected me, I was sensitive to such a reserve, and I must be sure of finding this Eugène good and sensitive, to determine myself to complain to him about himself.

Now, my dear Prince, I pray you to receive my congratulations; they are sincere since I am addressing them to you. Make the attractive country that you have been called to govern happy, I will always applaud your success and its happiness.

I pray Y(our) S(erene) H(ighness) to accept the assurance of my high consideration and my attachment.

***

Eugène to Murat Milan, 28 July 1805

If Your Serene Highness was told that I had complained about the silence he had kept with me on the occasion of the new testimony of tenderness and kindness that I received from His Majesty, he was deceived. If I would have complained, it would be to Your Serene Highness himself that I would have addressed my complaints.

But if Your Highness was told that I was afflicted by his silence, he was told the truth. I admit to you, in this circumstance where I received from all parts congratulations that no letter of mine had provoked, it pained me to not find your name in the midst of all those who renewed to me their testimonies and expressions of attachment.

You thought I should have informed you of His Majesty's act myself... I thank you for explaining to me the reason of your reserve. I have no right to complain, but deep down does Your Highness think that if all the favors he deserved, and which I wish for him, were to arrive for him, it would not suffice for me to have learned of them from the Journal officiel, to hasten to tell him how happy I was for him?

If Your Highness does not share my opinion in this regard, I hope at least that he will find in the frankess with which I expose it, further proof of the importance I attach to having no injury towards him.

Now that I have said all that I have believed necessary to my justification, receive, I pray you, all my thanks for the new expressions of friendship that I find with so much pleasure in your last letter. Your Serene Highness will do me the justice of believing that I respond to the sincerity of his sentiments by all the sincerity of mine.

Will H(er) I(imperial) H(ighness) the Princess Caroline kindly receive my respectful homage the the assurance of my distinguished sentiments?

--Prince Eugène

***

[jadelotusflower]

Roundup - September 2021

This month: Saving Fish From Drowning, Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass, Anne Boleyn, Cruella, The Chair

Reading

Saving Fish from Drowning (Amy Tan) - I've always enjoyed Tan's work (particularly The Joy Luck Club, both the book and film) - Fish is somewhat of a departure, following a group of American tourists in Myanmar, narrated by their recently deceased friend Bibi Chen. The novel begins with a preface in which Tan explains she drew inspiration for the novel based on real events chronicled by a San Franciscan psychic's "automatic writing" channeling Chen's spirit (in truth a complete invention on Tan’s part, both literary device and metaphor).

Bibi is a compelling narrator, full of wry commentary of her friends as they bumble their way through their trip, the tone of the novel quite light despite some of the dark subject matter around the political situation in Myanmar (the novel was written in 2005 and set several years earlier) and the nature of intervention - the title referring to fisherman who "save fish from drowning" by netting them. It was at times difficult to keep track of all twelve (!) of the main characters and who was who outside of the few who get the most attention of the narrative.

An interesting read, about the stories we tell ourselves and others, and the fictions we believe for comfort and hope.

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass and what Alice found there (Lewis Carroll) - I've been making more of an effort to work on my novel lately, which makes some reference to these works so thought it was due for a re-read. It seems impossible to consider these separate novels given how conflated they have become in pop culture - even the Disney film takes elements from both - they act as either a duology, or alternatively a single story told in two parts.

I personally much prefer Looking Glass, perhaps because I imprinted on the 1985 miniseries as a child (which adapts both novels, but we only had the second part on tape) - best known for it's celebrity cameos in silly costumes - including Sammy Davis Jnr, Donald O'Connor, Ringo Starr, and Carol Channing, among others, and the danger of the Jabberwocky as a manifestation of Alice's fears quite a nice idea that isn't found in the original text.

Perhaps Looking Glass, while remaining absurdist, is more cohesive than Wonderland with the chess motif and central motive for Alice to reach the Eighth Square and become a queen. I do however find the constant poetry tedious, and wonder whether both Wonderland and Looking Glass are better remembered for the concepts rather than the actual text.

Watching

Anne Boleyn (episodes 1-3) - I didn't think we needed another film/show about Anne, but I was always going to watch it. This series relies upon familiarity with history as it begins with Anne's final, doomed pregnancy - opening with the haunting words “Anne is the most powerful woman in England - she has just five months to live.”

There's nothing especially new here; rather a mood and character piece as Anne's isolation and desperation grows. It is of course built around the central, compelling performance of Jodie Turner-Smith, in every single scene and not afraid to shy away from Anne's sharper edges while remaining profoundly sympathetic, surrounded by a court of whispers, her existence on a knife's edge. We know only what Anne knows, and we see the smaller, heartbreaking moments usually passed over in other adaptations - in her grief following the stillbirth, Anne sits up in bed almost catatonic, milk leaking from her breasts, her attempt to walk back the infamous “dead man's shoes” comment, and the long days of her imprisonment.

Then there’s the beautiful costumes - in a court of dark furs, Anne wears bold primary colours and velvets that catch the light, that them become more subdued prints once she is in the Tower.

The other notable feature is the casting - described as "identity conscious" rather than colour-blind, representative of the othering of Anne and her relatives. Another standout is Thalissa Teixeira as Anne's cousin Madge Shelton, fleshed out as her confidant and the only one who remains true to her. It's a fresh perspective and a worthwhile watch, particularly for Turner-Smith's performance.

Cruella (dir. Craig Gillespie) - Spoilers. I wasn’t planning on bothering with this, but my sister wanted to watch it and I’d been told by several people that it was actually quite good. Look, I'm not saying they lied, I just think they were able to look past things that I was not.

Because actually, the core story has potential and the film has enjoyable elements (notably Emma Thompson), but simply falters every time they try and shoehorn references to the source material, and there are some truly egregious attempts - Roger is the Baroness’s lawyer for some reason? And writes the familiar Cruella De Vil song about how awful she is when she's just given him a puppy?

It doesn’t work as a prequel, or villain origin story, or even a reboot, since Cruella’s character journey is over by the end of the film (I have no idea what the purported sequel is going to be about) - in fact "Cruella" is just a persona Stone's Estella adopts (complete with a terrible affected accent), and there is no conceivable way for her to become the wannabe puppy murderer we know from the book or any of the film adaptations. Oh, and Pongo and Perdita are siblings! Well done, Disney. Slow clap for you.

Also, with a runtime of 2 hours 16 minutes it is Interminable and the whole thing is saddled with a terrible, unnecessary voiceover. Seriously, they should show this in film class to demonstrate when v/o hinders not helps.

They were likely going for a Maleficent-style re-imagining, but where that succeeded (somewhat) in a completely new retelling right down to a different ending to the source material, this wants to have it's cake and eat it too - it wants to have the Cruella aesthetic (the car, the hair, Hell Hall, the camp accent) but doesn't ever let her be a villain, or even the beginnings of a villain, but that's that's reason she's so memorable in the first place. It puts all the pieces in place for the story we know, and yet that story simply cannot happen with this version of Cruella.

In the end, it's a story of a fundamentally decent person who maybe goes a bit overboard in retaliating to bullies, and swindles a sociopath to reclaim what's rightfully hers. Cruella De Vil! I just couldn't get over this fundamental misapplication of the source material.

In many ways, it almost feels as if this was pitched as a sequel, with Cruella in the Baroness role. It would have fit a lot better with the aesthetic, the time period, and the concept of punk disruption of classic fashion. Or, it was a completely unrelated story of a plucky orphan who rises in the fashion world, that at some point was grafted onto the Dalmatians property. Either one would have worked better, frankly.

I am probably being overly harsh. If you switch off your brain and enjoy the clothes it’s fine. But honestly, if you want your live action Cruella fix, just watch the Glenn Close version, because it is superior in every way.

The Chair (season 1) - I watched this for Sandra Oh, and I was not disappointed, because I got to watch Sandra Oh. On the other hand...it's not that I didn't like it, I just...wish it had been better?

The story revolves around Ji-Yoon Kim, the first woman (let alone woman of colour) to become Chair of English at a "minor Ivy" university, as she tries to juggle the clash of old style academia and new, raise her daughter as a single mother, and deal with a series of controversies caused by one of her professors (and love interest). It's the latter I feel sucked up way too much time and was ultimately unsatisfying - particularly the end, which was played like a moral victory but really rubbed me the wrong way. If this gets a season 2, I hope they dump Jay Duplass' fuckup sadsack because hoo boy, am I sick of that kind of male character.

But Sandra Oh is wonderful.

Writing

The Lady of the Lake - chapter 5 posted, 4215 words (10,261)

Against the Dying of the Light 1954 words (11,976)

Here I Go Again - 414 words (12,948)

Novel - 1039 words (1484)

Total this month: 7,622

Total this year: 48,435

[demauryss]

for mtea @bluronyourradar. based on her tags on this post. i had minimum knowledge of how speed dating works so i wrote what came to me with the bit of research i did!!! i hope you like this and i’m sorry for taking too long!!

slow motion (i’m watching our love) 💌 | 3.9 k

in which there’s speed dating, some unexpected friends, a brief stint of matchmaking and a whole lot of sunshine smiles.

Lucas didn’t know what he was expecting to happen when he’d agreed with Mika to come to this … event or whatever it was. Because apparently Lucas was like a house plant Mika had got and forgot to take care of – and now it was starting to rot and needed someone to looks after it pronto.

That had been Mika’s analogy in trying to convince Lucas to try speed dating. Something he hadn’t heard of before. And with the promise of Mika buying all of Lucas’s groceries for the month if he came, Lucas had landed himself in this place. And it was the most recent thing he was regretting.

It’ll be fun, I promise!                      

It’s stupid, is what it is.

He didn’t know what to expect – but it was certainly not resorting to hide in a corner away from Mika’s prying eyes after talking with a total of four people – and being a witness to a very explicit kiss.

He wasn't thinking he'd get anyone when he had agreed to this, if you ask him. His thought process has been more towards getting through the evening with avoiding as much human interaction as he can. But in a succession of events, Mika had dragged him to a table, and Even, taller than nine of Lucases combined and eyes which was the reason why Lucas's tongue had forgot to form words, had approached him, and that was the first negative spike in his brain's specified compartment for dread.

They had talked for eight minutes before the bell rang and Even moved on to the next person. Lucas had learnt he was from Oslo; in his second year of college. He seemed nice, if those eight minutes were anything to go by, and totally someone Lucas would probably consider himself with. 

But there was something nagging inside his brain.

So he'd smiled as Even had left. Totally chiding his brain for worrying about lost potential when there were more pressing matters to discuss. Like why the next person coming after Even looked like a live incarnation Jack Frost. His name was Sander, and he was a David Bowie enthusiast. And then had come Nico and David, one after the other. 

And if it hadn't been for the way his stomach had crumbled at the thought of being with any of them -that he was slowly feeling his insides coming to his throat whenever he as much as smiled at them, that there was this empty hollow feeling inside of him as he sat talking to them despite his brain accepting them to be nice as the first thing it made sense of – Lucas wouldn’t be sitting here in his natural habitat being miserable at cursing his luck.

But as it happens – there was something nagging inside his brain. A black space. A variable entirely missing from the equation.

Lucas looks around the multitude of people all in an assortment of fading lights and a cacophony of voices all going over his head of people conversing. Lucas has never been good at that part, and that's why he finds it all so surreal to see. And it’s between that, hiding from Mika and cursing his fate, that there’s a mild commotion behind him. It would have been impossible to separate it from the discordance around him, had it not been for the way the reason the said commotion is created comes to where he’s sitting in the corner. Lucas, without meaning to, trains his ears on – he does a quick counting in his head – four people.

“I’m just saying,” One of them says, rubbing a hand over his neck. He looks like how Lucas feels after having to deal with a stupid customer on the phone – which is a story of a daily basis, “If you want to find a match, then maybe you should try and – I don’t know – talk to someone! ---

“Shut up Marti! This whole concept is stupid.” The one Lucas assumes to be Isak snaps. He looks tired, and Lucas really can’t argue with that sentiment.

“But it won’t hurt you to try?” Marti begins as a final resort. Isak only glares at him, “I don’t know what you think, but going on a date once doesn’t make you a relationship expert.”

“And especially when you call us in the middle of it to help you fake an emergency so you could run away.” The third person speaks, and Marti turns his murder filled eyes towards him. Lucas watches, heart somewhat lighter, as Marti just about digs the grave of the person in front of him.

“I like you better when you’re stoned, Matteo.” Marti grumbles, and the person in question turns starry eyed towards him, his tongue peeking out as he takes a gulp of the liquid in the glass he’s holding. These people remind Lucas of his own group of friends, those he hasn’t seen in months. With Yann and Basile both gone to spend the summer with their grandparents and Arthur on that science camp he signed up for ages ago – it has been quite some time since he last saw of them.

And now he misses them, terribly.

Marti looks at his friends disapprovingly as Isak and Matteo and the quiet friend whose name Lucas hasn’t got yet fail to hide their laughs at Marti’s distraught expression. He sighs, turning sideways and catching Lucas’s eyes. Lucas feels heat crawling up his neck spreading over his face at the thought of being caught in listening to someone else’s conversation. His initial reaction is to looks away, but his brain prevents him from doing so. Whatever, it’s too late now.

To his surprise, Marti addresses him like he’s talking to an old friend or something. “Please help me clear a point to these idiots,” he begins, “I’ll owe you forever.”

As if on cue, three pairs of eyes turn towards him in sync. Lucas gulps down whatever he was feeling earlier at being caught. “I’m sorry I can’t do that,” Lucas starts, feeling foreign being the subject of unknown gazes.

“Because you also think it’s stupid, right?” It’s Isak who begins with a hopeful cadence in his tone. Marti frowns at him, and Lucas sends a small smile in his direction.

“Well, there’s no denying that.”

The yell that breaks past Isak’s lips as he jumps in triumph raises several eyes in their direction. Lucas chuckles, apologetically looking at Marti who’s watching everything with a scowl on his face.

“I knew you were one of us,” Isak gestures to himself and the two people standing behind him. He looks out into the ground, pulling a sour expression on his face, “No sane person would be willing to spend an entire evening out there. It’s what I’ve been trying to tell this idiot here. But I think he gets it now. Do you, Marti?”

Marti, who has turned his head away from them, grumbles childishly, “Whatever. You guys don’t care for me.”

Isak laughs, and it’s Matteo who comes forward at that instant, wrapping an affectionate arm around Marti’s neck. “Don’t be like that, Marti. We do care for you!”

“Yeah. You’re the one who opens all of our jars when we need them.” The quiet one steps forward, and Lucas watches with Isak next to him. He heaves a sigh, before rolling his eyes, “Yeah yeah, now you can stop being a diva-” he turns to Lucas, “-he’s just being dramatic. Ignore him.”

Lucas laughs, now all unease under the guise of the nervousness which comes from meeting these people. Isak steps forward, taking a seat next to where Lucas is sitting. His friends follow, and soon he’s include in a circle of unknown people in a place he’d rather bolt out of.

“If we’ve reached an agreement here,” Isak pointedly says towards Marti, who is busy drilling holes in his skull. There’s light music present in the air around him, filled with occasional ringing of bell. Lucas ignores it and focuses on Isak. “I’d like to formerly make an introduction. I’m Isak, that’s Marti, Robbe and Matteo, and we’re seriously not having a good time right now.”

Lucas grins, “I’m Lucas, and you can count me in that.”

“Then what brings you here, Lucas?” It’s Robbe – the quiet one – who asks him that. His eyes have a kind look in them, and it’s accentuated by the light hanging over his head.

“My roommate,” Lucas sighs, “He works here, and he kind of convinced me to come and by convinced I mean he offered to buy my groceries for the month, so.”

They laugh, even Marti, who lets his annoyed expression slip for a minute before picking it up again as if nothing happened. It does occur to Lucas that he’s basically oversharing to a bunch of random people he just met. But the thought evaporates when they smile together, a familiar glint to all of their eyes. Lucas follows the warmth and soon, he finds himself getting enveloped.

Matteo smiles, “I was tagged into this Instagram post and someone thought it’d be a good idea to try this out.”

“And I still stand by it,” Marti somewhat grumbles. Lucas chuckles as Isak shakes his head at him. Robbe pats him on the back as Marti turns to Lucas.

“Please tell me you atleast talked to people before forming your opinion instead of criticizing from afar like some people here.”

“Hey!” Isak, Matteo and Robbe shout in unison. Lucas smiles, shaking his head. “Yeah I did meet some people but –“ Lucas shrugs, “-they were not someone I’d consider eating a pizza with brought from my roommate’s money.”

“That makes a lot of sense. Why didn’t I think of it before?” Matteo asks Robbe, who just shrugs. It Marti who bites back, “Because you’re stupid, that’s why.”

Lucas looks between them, as Isak raises his hand, high-fiving Marti over Lucas’s head. This night is going to be fun.

//

Some twenty minutes later, and Lucas is now a member of a groupchat with the four people whom Lucas can now almost call him his friends. (They’ve exchanged numbers, followed each on Instagram, exchanged pretty heavy details of their lives and exchanged some solid opinions on the people they’ve found mildly interesting.)

Now he and Matteo are surveying the crowd, finding someone suitable for Isak to go and talk to since his great epiphany seconds ago about not wasting any chance he’s presented with. (Marti had the most smug ‘I’ve been saying it for ages’ look on his face which Isak had wiped away with a middle finger raised in his direction.) Robbe and Marti were helping them, but it wasn’t up to any use since so far Isak had rejected hundred percent of the guys they had picked, all with the same monotonous ‘I’m not feeling it now.’

And Robbe had coughed a laugh with Marti hiding his face in Robbe’s shoulder, Matteo had whispered under his breath, that’s not the only thing you’re going to not feel tonight if you keep this up, and Isak had landed a smack at the back of his head – and it was when Lucas had realized his evening had turned out quite different from what he was thinking. He may not have found a match tonight, and Mika hadn’t said that he must find one. Atleast he’d be walking out with this memory with four new contacts – and the freedom from worrying about buying his groceries for the next month.

He looks out into the crowd dimmed with light. He doesn’t know if any successful match has been formed yet or not, but he doesn’t have to worry about that for more as he spots Mika sashaying towards him with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Damn Lucas,” he says. His eyes turn brighter as his gaze shifts from Lucas to the people sitting around him. “I thought finding one match would take you centuries but you’ve managed to snag four beautiful people from the crowd. I must be teaching you well.”

Lucas rolls his eyes as Mika goes on introducing himself to them. It’s when terms like Lucas’s gay guru and Lucas’s foray for the night are exchanged between the group, that he turns around, way past feeling embarrassed at his roommate’s antics. He’s so used to them now it’s not even funny.

“Okay Mika you can stop it now,” he says, watching as the guys including Mika act entirely too pleased at Lucas’s discomfort. “Sorry to burst your bubble but none of them is my match.”

“Oh he wishes he could get someone like me,” Robbe grins as Marti and Matteo fail to hide their terrible smiles. There’s a moment where Lucas remembers he called them kind, but that’s all gone now.

“Yeah. He was alone and miserable in the corner. If it hadn’t been for us he would have probably died from sadness.” Isak says, elbowing Lucas in his shoulder. Lucas musters his most perfect glare he could in that moment.

“I hate you all.”

“Oh but I don’t!” Mika laughs as if he’s having the time of his life. “I’m not pleased with anything Lucas does in his life, but I’m so proud of him for finding you guys!” He looks like a proud parent, Lucas would have felt to say had it not been for Mika declaring the sentiment himself. “I’ve work to do now, but you guys are welcome to come here anytime you want.”

Mika leaves, and Lucas glares at the four devils now grinning from ear to ear. Lucas rolls his eyes, scowling when their expressions don’t drop.

“Seriously?” Lucas asks.

“Yes,” they all reply in unison, and Lucas shakes his head.

“Now if you’re done being creepy can we go back to the task at hand?”

It gets their attention as Isak straightens up, a serious expression falling on his face. “I’ve come to a conclusion; I’m letting fate decide it for me.” as he speaks, he pulls out a coin from his inner pocket and puts it forward in his open palm in front of Lucas. “Lucas, take this coin and throw it in whatever way you want. If it lands on the floor somewhere, I’d go home and never try speed dating again. But if it lands on a table or hits someone on the head and that person turns then-“

He shrugs, and Lucas doesn’t see the logic in his plan. “It’s stupid,” Robbe says, to which Isak snaps in his direction, “Shut up I’m trying something here.”

So with one last hopeless look shared between Lucas and Marti and Robbe and Matteo, and a hopeful Isak jumping with glee, Lucas takes the coin, throwing it away and –

It follows a perfect projectile, a silver running through air, disappearing for a second. They all watch it and Lucas can swear they’re all holding their breaths. It’s silly, how they collectively exhale when the coin reappears into their vision before landing on-

Even’s table.

Lucas can tell he’s shocked when a coin lands on his table not far from them as he starts looking around. Lucas turns his head to the side, watching Marti and Matteo and Robbe do the same. But Isak- he stays with his stare focused on Even who’s now smiling at someone and Isak looks completely smitten.

“Um…Isak?” Marti waves a hand in front of his face, sharing a look with the three as Isak completely ignores him.

“Lucas you beautiful being!” Isak says, still in a kind of trance as he gets up from his chair. Lucas understands his intentions, and with a pat on his back, Lucas says, “Go on. He’s from Oslo too.”

It’s what sets the deal as Isak sets in motion. “I’ll catch up with you guys later,” he says off-handedly. They watch him make his way to Even, the crowd swallowing him just when he makes his way to the table.

Matteo turns to Lucas, “Is he one of the guys you said you talked too?”

Lucas nods, “Yeah he is – and come to think of it, I think I met some people you guys would like.”

And as Lucas plays matchmaker, he looks for the remaining three people he had met before. It’s funny really – this fate or kismet or whatever was going on when he met these people each of which bears a connection with the people he’d met earlier – and he spots Sander, his lighter than blond hair standing from the crowd. Lucas turns to Robbe.

“You see that guy over there? He’s Sander, and I think you’d be perfect together.”

//

It takes him a minute or two to find Nico and David in the crowd, and it takes him a minute as he convinced Marti and Matteo to go talk with them. Unlike Robbe who had fled straightaway, these two were difficult, and Lucas had resorted to quoting Marti’s own lines to him.

“It doesn’t hurt you to try, does it?”

And now he is left alone on their table as he tries to check up on his friends in the crowd. He had seen Isak disappearing with Even, and he’d shot him a thumbs-up when he’d met his eyes from across the room. The rest of them are still in the talking stage from what Lucas can see, even Mika, who’s now stood talking to someone much too familiarly – and Lucas can’t help but be envious of apparently how easy that looks for him.

He’s thinking of calling it a night after Isak sends a message in their newly formed groupchat, saying how he doesn’t think he’d be back anytime soon (which Lucas kind of guessed, by the way). The other boys reply in variations of same sentiment, and Lucas guesses his attempt at matchmaking was more successful than he thought it would be.

Lucas shakes his head, sending a message back into the groupchat, making sure the guys knew he won’t be missing them if they end up getting murdered tonight.

(But in all seriousness, he tells them to be safe, and he smiles when gets all affirmative responses in return.)

It’s when he’s beginning to leave that he feels a presence beside him. It’s a repeat of just a few moments ago, and he turns, expecting it to be Robbe or Matteo or even Mika and-

-and it’s not them. Not by a long shot.

For a moment it feels like one of Lucas’s daydreams as the light turning green and blue dances over the stranger’s head. His lips are curved in a smile, and Lucas really feels he’s tripped and transported into one of the universes he’s created during many of his bouts of daydreaming.

“Hi. You’re Lucas right?” The stranger’s voice carries over the noise of the club. It’s soft, sweet, and Lucas would have lost it had it not been for the stranger to be standing literally in a meter’s distance of him.

The stranger meets his eyes, and Lucas feels all the conversation skills in him reverting to zero. He was having no problem talking about his life to then-strangers just moments ago. Why does it brain have to be filled with hay now?

“Um – yes?” It comes out as a question, and the person smiles. Lucas feels his idiot brain transporting him to somewhere else – where it’s only him and the stranger, where the voices in the background aren’t filling his mind like white noise and where the sun is shining directly over him so Lucas is able to make out the colours lighting up in the stranger’s eyes.

Lucas’s heart beats heavily in the hollow of his chest.

The stranger cocks his neck to one side, “I’m Eliott,” he says. Eliott, Lucas rolls the name in his head. “And I’ve been watching you play matchmaker for a while and I’ve been meaning to ask -,” he takes a pause; Lucas hangs onto it, “-which of these beautiful boys do you think I’d match perfectly with?”

It’s a wonder Eliott doesn’t notice when Lucas’s heart tears his chest and lands on the table in front of him, beating so heavily it’s a struggle trying to calm it down. Eliott has been watching him. Eliott, who looks like he makes a living out of appearing on billboards and photoshoots, has been watching Lucas for a better part of his night.

Lucas wets his lips, thankful for the dim lighting of the café to hide his burning cheeks. What he wouldn’t give to-

“Do you have your eyes set on someone tonight?” Lucas mirrors the position of Eliott’s head. Eliott’s face lights up even more, and Lucas feels a shiver of unknown reason pass through the length of his spine.

“I do, actually. He has a nice smile and pretty blue eyes. And his hair is the wildest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Lucas looks around, confused for a moment, “That’s like, half of the people here?”

Eliott wrinkles his face adorably. Something jumps inside Lucas’s stomach at the sight. Eliott mutters something under his breath which Lucas fails to catch. And then he looks up, his eyes now gaining a glint which wasn’t there before. Lucas focuses – and it’s of nervousness.

“I suppose I should be more direct,” Eliott begins, taking a step forward so he’s just an inch away from Lucas, “If you’re free now then I’d like to take you somewhere.”

What?

Lucas chokes on the air caught in his throat at Eliott’s sudden statement, neck whipping towards him so fast it’s a wonder he doesn’t break it. Eliott himself looks taken back, and Lucas doesn’t know if it’s at his own words or something else.

“Wait no – that was so straightforward I’m sorry!” Eliott’s voice is frantic, and Lucas feels a beginning of something in his chest. “I – uh – I wanted to know if you’ve found someone tonight.” He says in one single breath. Lucas feels his face getting warm. The good warm you get after spending a day out in the sun as it washes away your sadness and takes it from you as it begins to set. He feels ants crawling inside him – those who begin from his heart and spread like a warm fire all around him with his blood.

Eliott looks like he might mass out when Lucas comes back. This doesn’t happen to him. It isn’t often that people actively seek him out. And here’s him – Eliott – in all his beauty sitting in front of hm. There’s something restless inside his arms, a nervousness which rises from the feeling which he’s refusing from letting it set in his bones.

“I haven’t,” Lucas’s voice is small, but it’s everything which brings a light to Eliott’s face which he can’t wait to follow. The warmth settles over him, and Lucas turns his head to the side when it becomes too much. He finds the guys, minus Isak, who have now taken the role of an audience for Lucas, and apparently look shameless when Lucas catches them staring.

(It isn’t like Lucas can judge them or anything.)

Lucas tries to convey a message to them with his eyes, and they get it, thankfully, as they turn to their respective partners, now forming a small circle which Lucas watches from afar. He turns to Eliott, his eyes in half-moons and smile in all suns. It really feels like a dream, and he wastes no moment in sending a prayer above.

“So – the place you wanted to take me?”

Eliott laughs, his voice soft and high. He leans forward, and Lucas meets him halfway.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Top 20 BEST Animated Series of the 2010s-5th Place

Up until now, I’ve been pretty iffy on which show went where on this list. However, from here on out, there is no doubt in my mind the ranking is almost perfect (or, at least, to me it is). 

Just keep in mind, this next pick isn’t as cute and innocent as it might look.

#5-Camp Camp (2016-)

The Plot: Camp Campbell is a place where kids can go to do anything! Like space camp, theater camp, art camp, magic camp, and also other magic camp! It’s a dream come true...except for a little rapscallion named Max, who was forced to go there by his crappy parents. With the help of his two new friends, Neil and Nikki, the three of them will make it their life's mission to make life a living hell for their two camp counselors. Or, at least, it’s their life’s mission until the end of the summer.

This is the first and only web series on this list, and it is made by the (in)famous production company called Rooster Teeth. And trust me when I say that Camp Camp is the best show Rooster Teeth created ever since they started working on Red vs. Blue. And I can think of a couple reasons why.

Reason number one is the show’s comedy. Just like Rick and Morty, Camp Camp relies on being absurd and dark to get a laugh out of audiences. However, there is one thing Camp Camp has that gives it an advantage: The fact that it’s a show on the internet. There’s a lot of jokes that writers are not allowed to get away with on television. But on the internet, it’s all free game, baby! You want to make jokes about Hitler and the holocaust? Go ahead. You want a young cis boy to ask when he’s going to get his period? Go ahead. You want four kids to get scarred for life after catching old people having sex? Go right the f**k ahead. Because this is the internet. A place that is impossible to make kid-friendly, no matter how hard certain websites try! (And in case you’re wondering: Yes, all of those examples I just listed are actual jokes within the show. So have fun.)

With the benefit of having little to no filter, Camp Camp’s sense of humor allows it to go further with its jokes while having competent enough writers knowing the definition of “too far.” Because believe it or not, there is a limit that this show has with how far it’ll take its humor, and rarely does it feel like it crosses it (and it’s usually Kerry Shawcross’ episodes that crosses the line, oddly enough). Now, as I’ve established in my Rick and Morty review, not everyone is going to find these types of jokes funny. But for the most part, I personally think Camp Camp is hilarious. In fact, out of a fifty-nine episode line up, there is a total of ONE episode that I felt was low on the laughs. And like most good comedies, the best jokes come from who’s saying them and not what's being said. People need to remember that humor comes from the characters. Otherwise, when the gag goes to the wrong cast member, you’ll end up having people respond with, “but that’s not what this character would do or say.” In fact, the only time when a joke falls short in the show is when the wrong character says what is already a funny line that’s just misplaced.

And seeing as how we’re already talking about the cast, now might be a great time to mention that Camp Camp has the best group of characters Rooster Teeth made since the first thirteen seasons of Red vs. Blue. Like I said with Rick and Morty, I prefer to have a series with a moderately large cast of characters, as it offers writers enough room to work with so the series doesn’t become stale. And boy, does this show have a lot to work with. Everybody starts off with a personality that’s simple and serves the purpose of making a joke. But as the Camp Camp goes on, the more that these personalities grow and the audience gets to learn more about them. Even characters who seem like they’re only useful for the same comedic bit eventually become more complex as the series progresses. The best example is Dolph, who starts off as a source for Hitler jokes. But in the episode “The Candy Kingpin," we see that he’s also a little kid who’s just lonely and naive...while also still being the source of Hilter jokes. Now, at a glance, it might seem like there are too many characters, and it can certainly feel like it at times. Luckily the writers are smart enough to know which characters need more focus and which ones can be used for comedy. For instance, Space Kid doesn’t seem that complex in the slightest, but he’s a source for comedy, so he doesn’t need to be. Besides, the writers can develop any characters it wants whenever they want to. Because if Max and David are of any indication, this show has the best character development in any Rooster Teeth series.

I’m not kidding when I say that the relationship between Max and David is the best thing about the series. They start off with a simple dynamic: David is the happy go lucky optimist who gets in the way of Max’s pessimistic schemes. There’s nothing too noteworthy at first, and the majority of the episodes are just Max screwing over David and David keeping Max in check. However, the showrunners found a way to make their relationship more intriguing with each season. (Kinda spoilers ahead) Not only does Max learn that David understands how rough life can be, but, realizes why David has the determination to stay optimistic in the first place. And once David learns why Max is so jaded, he begins to work with Max through a new angle. In fact, the second they’re both on even ground, the two of them stop working against each other and learn how to work with each other (kinda spoilers over). Now don’t get me wrong. David still gets on Max’s nerves and vice versa, but there’s still a small amount of respect shared between the two. This is what I loved about their dynamic: Their development isn't blatant, but it still exists. In Red vs. Blue, it feels like Tucker’s development seems to take a step backward and forwards with every other season. And in RWBY, it feels like Yang is a different character after experiencing a traumatic event. This is understandable given what happened to her. But seeing how her having a sense of humor, which is everything likable about her personality, left after this one moment, it can be a bit disappointing (especially since Yang seemed like a person who hid her trauma through comedy). As for Max and David, everything that is likable about their personalities is still there, only now seen through a different light. This may not seem that impressive, but considering how Rooster Teeth has handled character development in the past, it’s pretty great.

Here’s another thing that may not seem as impressive as it really is: The show’s animation. I am amazed at how this series manages to have a television-quality of effort. Now, that may not sound like a compliment, but considering that this is a web series, it’s pretty darn impressive. Most online animated shows barely stick to a weekly schedule and the ones that do only manage to have episodes lasting for 3-5 minutes. So, seeing as how Camp Camp can have 12-24 minute long episodes once a week AND still managing to look good is a testament to how far internet animation has come. There’s also a surprisingly large amount of detail added into the show. I’m not talking about the characters themselves, as they have pretty simple designs. What I am talking about are the little things that the animators added in. If you pay attention to the props, backgrounds, and even things they wrote in, you’ll notice a whole lot of things that would have flown over your head otherwise, such as great jokes, continuity nods, and even sublime foreshadowing when it comes to season three.

So as you can tell, there’s a lot to like about this series. So you’re wondering why it’s only #5. Well, my reasons are more pitiful if I’m being honest. You see, Camp Camp is aimed at adults, but it doesn’t feel like that at times. Like I said with my Final Space review, most writers think that for a series to be considered for adults, you have to use sex, drugs, violence, and cursing. Now, in all fairness, those aren’t really meant for kids. And understandably so. However, if you take all of that stuff out, then what’s stopping this show from becoming kid-friendly? Not a whole lot, especially since there’s a handful of episodes that have plots I’ve seen in other kids' shows (“Jermey Fartz,” “Eggs Benefits,” and “Night of the Living Ill,” to name a few). Personally, I believe that for a show to be for adults, it requires two things. One is to have writing that may seem boring to kids but interesting for adults. It's also important to have stories/plots that kids are not ready to fully understand yet. If you fail to do both, then there’s nothing stopping a twelve-year-old from watching your show and enjoying it just the same. And I should know because I was twelve when I started watching Rooster Teeth’s content in the first place.

Also (and this next complaint is less pitiful and more problematic), it's not good with how whitewashed the voice cast is. I get it. A voice is a voice, and the color of the actor's skin shouldn't matter...except that it does. Because if you're going to go the route of having a diverse cast of characters, then you might as well go all the way by having their voice actors be people of color as well. And don't get me wrong, these actors do a perfect job for their respective roles, both for the dramatic and comedic moments. But, as this series started coming out in 2016, long before current events, it still bothered me that a character like Nerris--

--was voiced by a woman like Barbara Dunkleman:

Yeah...That’s a big yikes.

So while it may not exactly be the best example of an adult series and definitely needs some recasting, Camp Camp is still one of the best shows in the 2010s. It has impressive animation for an online series, has hilarious comedy, and even better characters to enjoy. And seeing as how this is only #5, that can only mean that the shows can only get better from here.

(Side note, is it bad that two seasons of this show made me connect to the characters much better than the first six seasons of RWBY? Because I certainly think so.)

[michellejgaskill]

10 Ways to Better Understand Your Husband

I’m sure you are aware of the ways you and your husband differ in your background and personalities. You may also have different ideas about how to spend your evenings, what kinds of movies you each prefer to watch, and what your ideas of an adventurous weekend would look like. But when you add to the mix their uniquely male qualities, it surely could be a case for your girlfriends that your husband is from a different world than you are.

1. Remember he's a man.

This should go without saying. Yet, I’m amazed at how many women expect their husbands to be just like their girlfriends and talk about everything, listen intently, and “go deep” with their feelings. Men are not wired for “chick chat” and the biggest mistake wives make is interpreting this to mean their husbands don’t care. Well, they don’t. But that doesn’t mean they don’t care about you.

You can understand your man better when you realize he approaches life differently, tending to focus more on the detail of fact, while you tend to focus more on feelings. While you tend to ask for help, advice and directions, he often will not. When you offer sympathy, he offers advice and analysis, and while you desire to understand problems, he is driven to solve them. Instead of thinking If only he’d be more sensitive, or If only he’d be more interested in what I l like, try changing your perspective to I appreciate the way he brings balance to our marriage

2. Realize his need for respect.

Countless studies have affirmed that a man would rather feel respected than loved. While women long to be cherished, loved, and pursued, there’s a sense in which a man can live without love. It’s respect he can’t live without.

It’s interesting to note that in the Bible, husbands are commanded to love their wives. And wives are commanded to respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:22-33). Have you ever thought about why a woman isn’t commanded to love her husband in return? We are commanded throughout the Bible to love one another, and that includes our husbands. But when it comes to this passage, which speaks specifically about the marriage relationship, God apparently knew a woman desires more than anything else to be loved and a man desires more than anything else to be respected. God must have known that as we respect our husbands, we are demonstrating love to them in a way they can more easily see and appreciate.

3. Recognize his need to succeed.

Your husband is wired to be competitive, and therefore winning, succeeding and advancing are extremely important to him. If your husband feels he is in a no-win situation or is failing at something, it will show in his attitude of feeling stuck or wanting to give up. If your husband isn’t succeeding at something, he at least needs to feel like he’s winning. Let him know he is succeeding in the areas that are most important to him and to you. And if what is important to you isn’t necessarily important to him, let him know every now and then how well he is doing in that area, and it just may become an important area to him after all.

Many a man will give up altogether and go passive when it comes to parenting if you are insisting your parental skills are better. A man may stop communicating if his wife lets him know he is a failure at communication. To the contrary, if you are praising his efforts—even if at this point they are just efforts—he will likely want to continue to please you. Treat him like a winner at home, and he’ll want to be there more often. Praise him for his handiwork around the house, and you’ll find him offering to be your handyman. Encourage him and tell him how good he makes you feel in the bedroom, and he’ll be more likely to initiate intimacy. Encouragement goes a long way. And making your husband feel like a winner will make him want to be around you— especially if you’re his No. 1 fan.

4. Allow him time in his "blank

Sometimes it’s difficult for us to understand how our husbands can sit on the couch with the TV on, not particularly watching it, and not hear a word we say, nor be capable of responding. I call that my husband’s “veg box.” Some wives call it their husbands’ “blank box.” And when you ask him “What’s on your mind?” or “What are you thinking?” and he stares off into space and says “nothing”—it really is true; he’s in a “no words, no feelings” box.

Women, on the other hand, constantly have thoughts swirling around in their heads. We are continually connecting events of yesterday to situations today and drawing conclusions. Our husbands appear clueless at what we’re doing, because they are. They don’t understand how we think and we don’t understand how they can be thinking of nothing. Allow your husband to spend time in his blank box doing nothing and thinking about nothing. It’s his way of decompressing so he can come back and re-engage with his wife and family again.

5. Ask him about his dreams.

Proverbs 20:5 says “The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” You can better understand your husband when you can draw out of him his dreams and desires. When your husband has unmet dreams, it might affect how he is processing life or whether or not he is enjoying it. Whereas you and I might conclude he has a bad attitude, he may be dealing with feelings of missing out because he isn’t living from his heart.

Ask your husband what he’d love to do if time or money were no object. Give him permission to dream and don’t discount his ideas if they don’t sound practical or realistic. You can understand what makes him tick, what he secretly longs for, and even how you can share in making some of his dreams come true when you take the time to ask, learn and discover the dreams on your husband’s heart.

6. Treat him like a king, but not your God.+

There’s a difference between treating your husband with the respect and loyalty you would give a king, and depending on him like he’s your God. Many women marry with high expectations, only to be gravely disappointed shortly thereafter when they discover their husband can’t possibly meet all of their emotional needs.

Because your husband is a man, he will never be able to meet your needs for sensitivity and understanding like another woman. Because he’s not your dad, he can’t make up for what you might feel was lacking in a father-daughter relationship. And most important, because he’s not God, he can’t possibly fulfill you in every way. Instead of looking to your husband to be God in your life and fill your every need, look to God as your spiritual husband (Isaiah 54:5). There is nothing that will free up your husband to love you more than taking your emotional expectations off of him and leaving them with God. Your husband can then love you in the best way he is able, without feeling he has an impossible task in front of him. (For practical ways to live this out, see my book, Letting God Meet Your Emotional Needs).

7. Acknowledge his singular focus.

Unlike women who appear to multi-task, men function better with a singular focus and they have a way of compartmentalizing their thoughts and actions. Like his ancient ancestors, your husband is, by nature, a hunter-gatherer, so it’s easy for him to zero in on—and stay focused on—a single topic (Picture a cat sitting by a window watching a bird – he doesn’t move, but is totally fixated).

As you are sensitive to this single-focus characteristic of his, it may help you understand his response—or lack of response—to you when you go from topic to topic in your conversation or are tending to “merge” the areas of your life when he prefers to keep them separate. For example, talking about finances just prior to intimacy will confuse him. If he’s in “finance mode,” he will not know how to transition well to “romance mode.” Likewise, if you are talking about the kids’ schooling problems or your aging parents’ needs while he’s trying to set up the tent on a camping trip, he will likely not respond to your words, let alone hear them.

8. Allow him sexual pleasure with his wife.

Men are designed, physically and physiologically, to enjoy sexual pleasure with their wives. Your husband wants to enjoy that activity and experience with YOU. And you are the only one he can enjoy that with and still be right and pure before his God. And he knows that, even more than you do.

In Ecclesiastes 9:9, Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, said this: “Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given to you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.”

King Solomon wrote a whole book on the meaninglessness of life. And among the few things he found meaningful for a man to enjoy were a good meal and pleasure with his wife. Now think about that! When you prepare a meal for your husband, isn’t it your desire that he enjoy it? Similarly, will you prepare yourself for him, physically, as his reward after dinner? God paid you quite a compliment when He gave you to your husband as your husband’s reward. God considered you a great prize to bring pleasure—in many ways—to your husband.   That should make you and I want to be our husband’s reward, not his consolation prize.

9. Accept his love for good food.

Do you ever find yourself wondering why your husband constantly thinks about food? Or how it is he can down a whole steak in minutes when all you feel like eating is a salad? Your husband, if he’s like most men, loves to eat. He’ll prefer a meaty meal to your low-calorie morsel every time! And get thisenjoying food is biblical! In Ecclesiastes 2:24, the wise King Solomon says, “There is nothing better for a man than to eat and drink and tell himself that his labor is good. This also I have seen that it is from the hand of God.”

For a man to be able to sit down and enjoy dinner—or a hearty, messy barbecue lunch—is one of the ways God rewards him for his work here on earth. So let him eat. And don’t knock him when he does. It’s one of the simple pleasures in life he was designed to enjoy.

10. Be patient as his priorities shift with age.

Your husband typically values different things at different seasons of life. In his 20s and 30s, he may prioritize making money and advancing his career because he is in his prime “provider/achiever” mode. When he approaches his 40s and 50s, he may be more concerned about making his life count and not “wasting time” doing something that doesn’t matter in the long run. When he reaches his 60s, he may value slowing down to enjoy life or attempt ambitions or “bucket list” items now that he has more time.

Keep in mind, though, that even when his priorities shift with age, he’s still the same man you fell in love with and married. His priorities just change through the years, as do yours.

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This desire is half emotional need and half biological drive, and it is rarely satisfied in life or love.

Once a woman knows how to satisfy this "secret obsession’ she will become a man’s highest priority for life. This program is already getting incredible results for women in all walks of life across the world. But we need your help to get the word out about it! (And we'll make it very worth your while :) ) Click here

[justlookatthosesausages]

Lol that actually gave me an idea, a time travel prompt with Anna and Elsa witnessing the day the spirits cut off the enchanted forest and see their parents before their lives changed forever.

Oh my, the FEELS. This is going to be so much fun to write dundundunnn 

=======

Elsa blinked, looking around. That flash had blinded her a bit, and when she looked around for her sister to make sure she was still near and safe, she saw by her flickering eyes that she was as startled as her.

“Uhm… What the heck just happened?” Asked Anna.

Before the blonde made any speculations, she frowned and scolded her sister. 

“I told you to not touch that rock.”

“But it was shiny!” Complained Anna, and she had a sorry pout. Her curiosity had led them in a weird situation... And it wasn’t the first time it did. 

Elsa sighed, then looked around as she thought. “I know those woods by heart now. I’ve never seen this rock before. And it was emanating a big amount of magic.”

“It was glowing a lot. I can easily imagine it was.” Nodded Anna.

The Snow Queen tried to understand what happened. Her younger had bent to pick up the rock, and then suddenly a flash covered them, but… Nothing seemed to have changed. The woods around them looked the same, and they were still standing at the same place. 

Elsa’s eyes narrowed when she then noticed something. 

“Wasn’t that tree… Way bigger when we passed by it?”

Anna turned at her gesture, and nodded. “Yep.”

The redhead then pointed at the sky. “The clouds also completely changed, for some reason.” 

Elsa lifted her hand and didn’t notice much difference, yet trusted her. She hadn’t paid attention to the sky, and on that, she congratulated her sister for her sense of observation. Anna also knew the name of the different types of clouds. Even if that knowledge came from years of boredom due to the isolation, it still was impressive. She nodded. 

“Yeah. The clouds are different. It’s weird. Did… Time pass? Did we faint?”

Anna held her chin as she thought. “I don’t remember falling down. I was getting up when the flash happened, so it’s not that. Also, the sun still has the same position, no?”

“It does. You’re right.”

The Queen smiled. “Look, I’m sorry for touching that magic rock. But we’re both safe, so maybe we should go back to the camp and ask if they saw something different.”

Elsa agreed with her decision. They walked back to the Sami camp from where they had taken a walk, and the Fifth Spirit heard a tinkling between the trees on their right. She also felt in the air that it was Gale, and she smiled. 

“Maybe we could ask Gale if they noticed something.”

They walked to the Spirit.

“Oh, they’re playing with a kid.” Said Anna.

The sisters now were a hundred meters away from them, but they still hadn’t noticed their presence. The Wind Spirit and the child, apparently a girl, were too busy having fun to do so. 

“Wait… I’ve seen that face somewhere.” Frowned Anna, bending her head in confusion. “Is she one of the Northuldra kids?”

She tried to remember where she saw that child’s face before, and as she was playing with Gale and moving around in flips, it was hard to look at her face. 

Then it suddenly hit her. And apparently, it hit Elsa at the same time. They instantly stopped walking.

“It’s Mother.” They both exhaled at the same time, and gasped in disbelief. 

There was no doubt. She looked exactly like the ice statues of her they had seen again and again in Ahtohallan on their regular visits. 

“Elsa, it’s…” Started Anna, a smile stretching her lips. 

She was about to say ‘miraculous’, but her elder ended the sentence in another way. 

“…Impossible.” 

They turned to each other, and exchanged a glance. 

“What do you mean?”

“How… How is she here? It can’t be.” Now whispered Elsa, to make sure that Iduna wasn’t hearing them. She also made sure that her magic was low, keeping a full control on it, to not warn Gale of her presence. 

“It can’t be? Come on, you were born with magic. Anything is possible. Look! It’s amazing!”

She pointed at their mother, for now only a teen, and she was giggling in the distance with a melodious Wind Spirit who also shared her joy. 

“How are we here then?”

“Well, we probably time traveled.”

“Time travel doesn’t exist, Anna! We’re not in one of your fantasy novels!” Blinked Elsa with a frown, trying to keep things logical and facts-based. 

Anna shook her head with an eye-roll. “You’re able to see memories of the past, but this surprises you?”

She walked forward. “Come on, I’m done whispering. It’s Mama right there, I’ve always dreamed of this moment! We can talk to her!”

“No, no no no.” Forbid Elsa, placing her arm in front of her younger sister. 

“What? Why?”

The Snow Queen couldn’t believe she was asking that question.

“Have you never read time traveling novels??” Grumbled Elsa. 

“You just said earlier that I did. Of course I did. You’re contradicting yourself now.” Mocked Anna, even if she knew that it was rhetorical.  

“Then you must remember that in every story, when the hero interacts with past events, it alters the future.”

“Yeah, in stories.” Underlined the Queen. 

“No, you don’t get it! In life too! - I can’t believe I’m stating this, but…” Interrupted herself Elsa. “…Anna, we can’t talk to our mother right now. We just can’t. We shouldn’t. Otherwise, everything will change in the future. In our future. Maybe… Maybe even none of us will be born.”

Anna considered each of her words, taking the news in. She was right… But not completely. 

“…Then why are we here?”

“Because you touched a magic rock!” Reminded Elsa.

“No, I mean… Why are we here, alive? If changing the past changes the future, our present time, then we can’t exist in our version, right?”

The blonde opened her mouth to reply, then closed it. Then opened it again, then closed it again. “Oh.”

“Is it a time paradox?” Understood Anna.

“It totally is a time paradox.” Sighed Elsa, closing her eyes. 

“Don’t go dramatic. It’s good news. It means that we can intervene!”

“No, it doesn’t really work that way…” Started Elsa.

Suddenly, it was like the air snapped. Something completely changed. In one second, the whole situation flipped. 

Elsa’s head quickly turned when she heard the familiar - too familiar - sound of steel from swords getting drawn.

“Oh no.”

“What?!” Worried Anna, who also felt that something was happening, but couldn’t tell what yet.

Gale had stopped playing with Iduna, who got dropped on her feet to the ground, and left behind by the Wind Spirit who hurried away. Some yells and grunts were heard in the distance, but it was too far to see what it was.

“It’s today.” Muttered Elsa, her eyes filling with tears. Sad, panicked and powerless tears.

The Queen frowned, then gasped when she understood. Iduna frowned in confusion at why the Spirit had left her, and heard the noises from afar, so she followed them. 

“No, she shouldn’t go where the fight is!” Exclaimed Anna, way too loud.

Iduna jolted at her voice, closer than the noises she heard before, and quickly turned to where the sisters where standing. Elsa gasped and strongly grabbed Anna to drag her behind a thick tree. Thankfully, they were far enough for their young mother to not spot them. 

“Elsa! What are you– hm-hmmm!” Got muffled Anna, Elsa slamming a hand on her mouth. 

“Shhh!” Warned the blonde, her eyes wide. 

She peeked behind the tree to see if Iduna had walked closer, and the girl still was searching where the voice had come from. 

“E-hah!” Tried to say Anna, her mouth still under Elsa’s hand. 

Her elder gestured her to stay silent with a finger on her own lips. 

“E-HAH!” Insisted Anna, gesturing at the hand Elsa had on her face, and trying to get free of her hold. 

“SHHHH! Will you shush up? You’re going to get us caught!” Whispered Elsa on the lowest tone possible despite her panic and anger. 

She looked at Iduna, but thankfully, though for the worst, she got distracted by the growing sounds of battle and ran to go help. 

After making sure that their mother had ran away and they were alone in that corner of the woods again, she let go of Anna’s mouth. The later gasped of relief as she did so, panting. 

“What is wrong with you?” Frowned Elsa. “She almost saw us! Why were you wriggling like that?!”

The redhead intensely rubbed her cheeks and mouth with her hands, trying to heat them. 

“Your hand was SUPER COLD!” 

Elsa’s eyes widened at the sudden realization. 

“Oh my goodness!! I didn’t notice, I… I was so stressed that I made magic in my palms, and… Oh Anna, I’m so sorry!!”

She hurried to check her state. 

“I’m alright.” Assured Anna, still rubbing her face however. “This just feels like I plunged my head into the fjord. This is fine.”

Elsa had a worried and sorry eyebrows expression, and clenched her fists to take all magic off her hands. She then rubbed them along her younger sister’s arms, apologizing in loops. 

This made Anna laugh, but her laughter stopped when they heard the fight between the Northuldra and the Arendelle soldiers getting closer. 

They looked at the fight that was playing a crucial part in their common past.

“Come on, we have to hide.” Advised Elsa, showing bushes a bit further. “We’ll wait here for now, and then cross the mist on the other way once it’s formed. We’ll just have to hold hands and it will part.”

“Wait, you want us to leave?!” Blurted Anna, eyes growing wide. 

“We should. The forest stayed this way for more than 30 years, and we can’t change the course of events by hiding inside… What do you think?” Elsa inquired, trying to build a plan. 

The redhead wasn’t responding, her eyes still wide and staring at the fight. She had just spotted their parents in the battle now arriving close. She also recognized the Arendelle soldiers in younger versions of themselves, and some Northuldra people as well. 

But she gulped when she saw how events turned.

Mattias was struggling to protect Agnarr. Even if she knew that he would make it, according to the future, she couldn’t help but worry. And Iduna looked panicked, frantically looking around and confused at why the Arendelle soldiers suddenly attacked. 

That was too much for Anna. Her natural and legendary impatience forced her body to move. She turned and already launched herself for a sprint. 

“NO, ANNA!” Muttered Elsa, her voice strong but wheezing to keep it as low as a whisper. 

Anna got restrained by a hand holding hers firmly, and her whole body stopped in one jerk at Elsa’s force. She almost lost her balance, surprised by her sister’s strength. 

“What are you DOING?” The Queen said through gritted teeth as she twirled around. 

“Preventing you from doing a big mistake.”

“But we can HELP! We can save them!”

“NO, we CAN’T!” Insisted Elsa. “Imagine what would happen if–”

“If we change the future? Yes, I got it. But if we’re alive, it means that we made it. Nothing changed.”

Elsa shook her head. “No. Nothing changed because we stayed here and did nothing. Nothing changed because we will do nothing.” She clarified. 

Anna looked at her, and there was a long silence between them as they stared at each other. Only the distant sound of battle punctuated it. Elsa sighed with a shaking breath.

“Anna, you have no idea how much I want to change the past too. When I saw Mama, I just wanted to run to her and take care of her. But…” 

The redhead had thought that Elsa was getting bossy and a killjoy, but her eyes now were filling with genuine tears.

“…We can’t. I’m sorry.”

Another silence filled the space between them.

“Don’t. Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault. I’m actually sorry myself for pushing you.” Murmured the Queen. 

She turned to the battle, a sad yet decisive expression on her face. 

“Okay, where’s your hiding spot?”

Elsa smiled at Anna’s choice of vocabulary to light up their mood. 

“Over there. Nobody will see us.”

They crouched on the grass, Elsa in lotus position and Anna sitting with her legs bent and her chin on her knees. 

“And now we wait?”

“And now we wait.” Nodded Elsa.

[semi-imaginary-place]

rewatching decadence

ep1: so... indoctrinating kids that they life their life in service to an upper class. also like, the way deca dence takes care of giant gadoll is to punch it like no giant sword or laser canon or anything just the power of a giant mountain sized fist. this show actually has some good foreshadowing from seeing Natsume from the perspective of Kaburagi’s hud, to Natsume’s dad (Muno) finding the Solid Quake logo at the beginning of the episode and the logo again being shown in the last shot at the announcement signs off with have a profitable day which is a weird public safety announcement but makes sense as a company slogan. I’m still not sure what the “TIME 1:00  POINT SE,07,G” means. I didn’t write it down last time because I was unsure of myself, but my first thought when the cyborgs showed up was VR chatroom for the upper class.

ep2: yeahs that’s totally an advertisement that plays right after natsume realizes the human costs of war as the tankers pay respects to the fallen. I realized what it was with the cartoony designs, the bright colors and patterns, the funky shapes of all the structures aboard the space ship, it looks like a tv show for toddlers. inoffensive and deliberately cheerful to distract from the horrors of a corporation owning your person. the eng subtitles are confusing here it should be “real death(simulation) awaits” in that the company is advertising being able to experience death but not have any of its permanent consequences as a feature of the game. The cyborgs are corporate wage slaves being compensated for their labor in company credits and the only other things we seen them do outside of work is play the company’s mmo, or recreational drugs. “I should be proud of my function and to be scrapped” as property of the company. aaaa that’s terrible. aaa. what are cyborg cores??? and why are they valuable. Solid Quake has no control over the core, only the cyborg’s housing. Is it that they cannot produce more? Considering the others on the team got executed for sentenced to an eternal forced labor camp with appalling conditions, Minato really did pull some strings for Kaburagi. ooh so “time until scrapping” and “operational limit near are two different warnings. the first is a general reminder of lifespan and the second is because oxyone levels are low. now its “TIME 20:00  POINT SE,05,I”. all those new gadoll events probably wreck havoc on the tanker economy. its 400c now and i think it was 500 for 2 earlier. First time through I wasn’t paying attention and totally thought kaburagi was an assassin, but no he’s just clean up crew. ahh yes, come spend you wages at the company run stores. micro transactions... wait so where were people getting the number 13 from?

ep3: ah yes Solid Quake charges to use the media center, truly a micro transaction hell. Natsume’s character arc is about whether to push herself or not. Here Fei acts as part of a continuing dialectic saying that Tankers have no place outside of Deca-Dence, that sooner of later Natsume will die from it, and once again highlighting Natsume’s right arm. In the other level of this though, tankers shouldn’t go outside because that’s not their role in the solid quake mmo, and those who would disrupt the mmo are killed. I like how you can see Kaburagi switch from videogame logic (oh she’s low level so let’s just stick her in the tutorial zone) to real life (what skills and experiences would help in fighting). So several corporations took advantage of desperate people to sell them a service that would augment them with mechanical parts. I get that pipe in a little outfit is funny, but does no one really realize its a gadoll, i meant natsume recognizes it instantly. like the scene where Natsume talks about her right arm, the anime does a good job of showing how her feeling about it are complicated. She’s lived with that arm for years, but it also hinders her sometimes, and people will comment about it. there’s this specific type of humor that pops up in this show and given how its the same joke, my guess is that its the same person behind it. The “joke” being that Natsume is put in a position that references sexual assault. The first is with fennel where she makes up an excuse of having to go see kaburagi to get away from him. And then there’s this episode. There’s also a few stray lines here and there that alarm me in that they imply Natsume has dealt with the threat of assault before. Since they didn’t do anything meaningful with this, I’d rather it just not be there. Minato is in on the secret of Pipe’s existence and by the way the two talk, they’ve called each other before in the last 7 years. Its good to know that Kaburagi wasn’t JUST brooding for 7 years and that the two of them stayed in contact.

ep4: Natsume after having gained confidence in herself takes down several gadoll and earns her place in The Power. Its a fulfilling payoff after seeing her train for several episodes. Natsume is where she always wanted to be, fighting gadoll in the Power. gahh It really is a patch release trailer. Ohh so I assumed that the other structures on the cartoon earth were other corporations, but in this episode we see one of them (the white and red striped cone thing opposite the deca-dence dome) and the cyborgs there are talking about the game (MMO LARPing lol), so either Solid Quake owns multiple of those structures, or these cyborgs are customers not owned by Solid Quake and playing of their own volition. that would makes the cone cyborgs where solid quake is deriving its profit from since its not like it pays its workers. reading comments online, a lot of people missed that because a ranker was found to be cheating (mikey), the rankings were abolished. In the present time, gears/players are not ranked. Ah so Kaburagi was transferred to the maintenance department from the warrior department. Wow reassignment is so much better than the poop jail. I remember it being said, armor repair, doctor, and weapon shop could be employee(cyborg) run so I wonder if the medics and that one armor shop guy are tankers or not. So this anime already snuck in a sex joke with the when the poop gang swapped kaburagi’s avatar with a sex toy, so i wonder if the safetyprivatemode was made so that the mods wouldn’t have to listen to robot sex. I really wish this show could have had 24 episodes. The trend for the past 20 years has been shorter and shorter shows so I know it would have been likely impossible to get the clearance and funding for 24 eps but oooh in som alternate universe maybe... i brought up fleshing out minor characters and character relationships before but there also stuff like Natsume’s right hand almost clamping on ... Mindy? Which usually would be a narrative flag but is completely dropped because of the episode limit. And the confidence Natsume gained last episode come to work against Kaburagi trying to keep her from the suicide mission. Its only from this point on that Kaburagi starts to really change, as of this point he is still a loyal cog to a machine that does not care about him. Kaburagi and Natsume in the 2nd half of the episode continue the same dialectic that runs through the whole of the show, about giving up and learning to try again, about pushing your limit, about why someone bothers trying. On the collectivist versus individualist spectrum, Deca-Dence is on the individualist side with assertions of the importance for deciding for yourself what you will do with your life. Its an interesting counterpoint to The Twilight Mirage (Friends at the Table) which I am currently listening to in that The Twilight Mirage is a western production and strongly collectivist with one of the antagonist being sort of kind of an embodiment of independence/individualism while japanese works as a whole tend to be more about the whole over the individual than western ones. Kurenai talking about why she fights is very good and very important for 2 reasons, first it help flesh out not only her but offer a very needed other opinion on what its like to live as a Tanker, second it segues nicely into Natsume’s memories of her dad telling her about the outside world and him being the only one to believe she can do it (fight in The Power) as contrasted with flashbacks of all the other characters telling her she can’t. This culminates in Natsume gathering her resolve to fight not because of something grand like changing the world or the fate of humanity, but something very personal scale: changing herself and proving to herself that she can do it. The is also the climax of her character arc, the point of no return.

ep5: If last episode was natsume’s point of no return, then either this episode or episode 7 is Kaburagi’s. Rationally speaking, the optimal scenario would have been for Kaburagi to stall long enough for the Tankers to escape before pulling back himself, but emotionally and narratively, there’s no way he couldn’t. After all the build up of deciding for yourself how to live and pushing your limits. Its appropriate that here in defense of the girl that inspired him to live and choose for himself rather than just continue existing in the default of what Solid Quake demands of him, that Kaburagi chooses to release his operational limiter (literally pushing him limit) and derail the company’s plans. How did no one realize purple dude was breaking imprisonment to play on a hacked avatar. Like he’s still as purple and bloodthirsty as ever. He acts and speaks the same. Someone would have totally seen him and gone “eyyyyy [i forgot this guy’s name] is back” and talked to people about it and someone should have heard. So I remember reading comments from various idiots who were mad because they mistakenly thought the anime took place in a virtual space and that Natsume was made of lines of code. And first off even if that was true there’s a difference between objective reality and the lived experiences of a person and what’s to say her experiences and emotions would be any less real than yours. And second, did everyone forget The Hunger Games? Like its just another game that plays with real lives and doesn’t care who gets killed. Solid Quake is just using humans as a stage prop. Man this episode is jam packed. Its like getting punched in the face 4 times. The pacing of the last 4 minutes was really good. The quiet scene as dawn breaks acts in direct contrast to the high energy of the Stargate takedown that preceded it. After time and against not listening to him, Minato still calls Kabu to check in with him. There’s also his certainly that it was Kaburagi that saved the Deca-Dence mech (i need to be clearer when I’m talking about the physical fortress city mech, the mmorpg game, or the deca-dence system itself). And then when the world state gets reset is just so good because it make it clear that the gadoll were never the true enemy. The tankers could kill as many gadoll as they want and nothing would change. Kaburagi’s at an interesting point here, in that he’s no longer in a state of having given up like he was in episode 1 just waiting to die and following along with Solid Quake’s orders, as of this episode he has deliberately gone against the company’s rules, and yet he’s still believes that nothing will actually change. He’s broken a rule and resigned himself to punishment instead of say for example getting rid of the punishment all together. He’s still a good little employee that hasn’t rebelled against the system. And then the “Take care of Pipe” and Natsume turns around and he’s already gone, is sooo good. The final shot too of his avatar face down in the snow! The “This world needs bugs” is in direct contrast to Hugin/Fugin(?) repeating that this world must be rid of bugs, and the same phrase Kaburagi repeated 7 years ago when he was transferred to the Maintenance Department instead of being killed. I wonder how much the cyborgs feel in their original bodies  vs. how much they feel in their Gear avatars. Kaburagi doesn’t seem to care about food and no food stalls were shown in the Gear area so maybe they doesn’t have much sense of taste? The avatars also have a lessened sense of pain. And then the limit release sequence shows connections increasing between the two bodies so does it make the cyborgs more attuned with the avatar’s senses?

ep6: eh so this is another example of what I mean when I say some of the humor in this show is in bad taste. They probably put the oxyone port where the ass would be just to make this joke. But this is better then doing to it Natsume. The animators even had a gleam censor for the over where the capsule was inserted as if it wasn’t obvious enough what it was suppose to look like. Spurned on by the the promise that one day if they work hard and behave (”rehabilitated”), the cyborgs will get let out when in actuality its a forced labor camp so that Solid Quake can squeeze just a little more labor our of the cyborgs for even less compensation. The cartoony style here helps offset just how horrific there working conditions are. And Kaburagi still the good little employee (iiko) tries his hardest to play by the rules and win. Except in this game, there is no “win’ written into the rules. So finally he is forced to move outside of the system Solid Quake has made. I still can’t believe they let Donatello keep the gun... Maybe cyborg cores are brains. In 5.5 Kaburagi’s core is in the top half of his metal case, and Donatello’s is also in his head. I’m still not sure what that sequence where Kaburagi takes the head fin and an image of a cyborg core is overlayed, means.