#it's me during the whole week
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i’m very sorry that society has made you feel this way about your fellow disabled people. i hope you can reflect on why you believe that other people with worse symptoms than you are bringing down this community and giving us a bad name.
(especially in the context of a vent post that is not indicative of whether or not we are “actually trying” in real life.)
i am also sorry that society makes you believe that in order for disabled people to be respected we have to consistently be working toward a nebulous goal of self improvement and overcoming of disability as to not be perceived as lazy and inconsiderate by the world.
i hope you can be kinder and more patient with yourself and your disability in the future, too.
#i’m not mad even though your tags on my post were extremely rude and disrespectful. i understand why you feel this way#it’s the way that everyone in the world talks about this issue to me and everyone else who struggles with it to.#it’s pretty much impossible not to internalize some of that#but a key thing in disability activism is the realization that disability is actually disabling. and that there are wildly different#presentations of disability in different people. people with the same disabilities may have vastly different capacities for dif activity#internalized ableism#ableism#it’s also just a bit funny that the whole reason i made this post was because of the people who tell me exactly what you did in your tags#that all i have to do is work harder and try harder and#refusing to realize that my ability fluctuates day to day and hour to hour#there’s weeks where i’m on time every day. and then i have a moment that lapses into hours of stuporific depression#or similar exec dysfunction#that makes it impossible to consider going anywhere or doing anything.#and during episodes like this the alternative to being late is not being on time. it is simply not doing anything#time blindness is a debilitating symptom i experience. it has soured hundreds of events and relationships for me. this is not because#i just don’t try. or i don’t want to. or i do not torture myself about it. i promise#an explanation of which i am only delving into in the hopes that it enlightens you to my previous posts logic a bit more#not because i believe anyone has to justify their disability to anyone to be owed respect and compassion#i hope this helps a little
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Yet another jewish privilege: Stores putting sales on holiday items because (apparently) management has no clue when "those people's" holidays are.
They put chanukah candles on sale for $0.71 a box the week before chanukah
#jumblr#meme#personal thoughts tag#those stores wouldn't DREAM about putting xmas stuff on sale which makes this extra funny#look if stores keep doing this then... i hope they never look up when the holidays are frankly#i am a COLLEGE STUDENT. let me be cheap 😭😭😭#tbf thaose stores have notoriously cheap judaica#i got my shabbos candles for a couple bucks and i'm good for like... six weeks now#honestly if i were a manager i'd do that on purpose#just make everyone think that nobody'll buy them anyway so we should just put a sale on it#when all along.... it was THE WEEK OF CHANUKAH THE WHOLE TIME (evil laughter commences)#edit for the first tag: i meant putting xmas stuff on sale DURING the xmas season. the day after xmas is fair game ofc#and i respect that. get those sales. jews apparently get them 24/7 unless it's a jewish store (because they know better)
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400% sure he would love steven universe
#trigun#trigun 98#doodles#art#comic#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#steven universe#anime#my first contribution is an illustration that took me like a whole week to get through#my second contribution is a silly i was up till 6 am for#as god intended o7#hes so pathetic and sad i wanna shake him#^ every character i can say that about is my favorite character in the whole media hands down#we all cried during the bismuth episode dont say you didn't#EDIT IF YOU SEE THIS POST GO LOOK AT MY OTHER TRIGUN FANART FROM A WEEK AG O TOO PLS PLS PLS PLS P#edit 2 - EDITED WW's SKINTONE!!! the color reference i used made him look a lot paler than he's supposed to be. apologies!#i am so glad someone pointed that out before i put my trigun charms into production. i edited the charm too to be more tan#if i put whitewashed wolfwood keychains into production i would have SCREAMED
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I rewatched Zuko and Azula's Agni Kai recently and it's left me wondering – when Zuko begins to goad Azula into striking him with lightning, was he making the decision to kill her?
Because had Azula shot lightning directly at him like he planned and not at Katara, the most forthright implication to me is that he was intending to strike Azula with her own lightning. And Azula, for all her mastery, would not have been able to counter that.
On the other hand, maybe he wasn't planning to kill her at all and was simply planning to redirect it elsewhere (similar to what he did with Ozai). But given the tone of tragedy throughout the Agni Kai, the fact that they both acknowledge that this fight will be "the end" to them, I don't think it's inaccurate to read Zuko's actions as him preparing to kill Azula, even though an Agni Kai doesn't have to end with death (and in canon it didn't). Also, why goad her into striking him with lightning if he wasn't planning on doing something intentional with it? If anything, it adds another layer to the tragedy to me, because I don't believe Zuko wants to kill her. And it stands in such contrast to the way that Azula desperately wants to kill him.
I also think that there would have even been something sadly poetic in that sort of demise for Azula should the Agni Kai had gone this direction: Azula, struck down by her preferred sub-skill. Azula, struck down by the very bolt of lightning that she intended to kill her brother with. Azula, struck down by her own power.
#I'm just so curious to Zuko's state of mind during this Agni Kai#maybe I'm slow on the uptake and everyone's gonna be like: obviously he was trying to kill her#but it just... never occurred to me#Like I knew he brought up lightning redirection as an intentional goad?#but I never really thought about what his planned outcome was given how the fight ends up panning out#Also Zuko's perspective when it comes to killing is interesting to me#because morally he's not against it!!#He thinks Ozai should die#And tells Ozai that the reason that he's not going to kill him (during the eclipse) is because of optics/politics (its the avatar's duty)#he thinks that had Katara killed her mother's killer it would have been a form of justice#(or maybe he was just referring to the act of her confronting him idk that whole convo is very ambiguous at times lol)#and yet AND YET he still reached out to save Zhao in season 1 despite Zhao having tried to kill him#he seems shocked (unsettled?) by the idea that Azula might die when she's falling from the airship and that's what?#days? a few weeks before the Agni Kai?#(and sure that reaction could just be shock that she would die so... randomly? but still)#Its just so fascinating#and so tragic#atla#zuko
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He started back as quickly / And staunchly swung aside / With all the woe in the world / He turned to the wood to hide...
[a gawain for @mortiscausa's 'march to camelot,' for the prompt 'hunt']
#em draws stuff#march to camelot#arthurian things#arthuriana#gawain#sgatgk by way of love death and robots' 'fish night' I believe#caption verse is from the 1997 translation by gwyn jones - not my usual but I'm away from my print copies of everything#and going to the library either online or in person would be a whole can of worms that I don't have time for <- they're typing this at 2am#took a little while (read: 12 days) to get my brain back up and running on mtc...#I really like the style I did last year but I needed something different this year. also I can't exactly take a week off being a person#like I did last year. albeit for other reasons than speed-drawing arthuriana (it just happened to coincide with that)#during the week of pretending to not be a person mtc was the only thing I could really draw that didn't make me feel sick#but that does also mean that trying to pick up the project in the same style as last year means there's The Residue on it#anyway. Fish :) and gawain :)
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I have to wonder about the order of the arrival of the gods' avatars in Exandria, in particular Ayden. Because he's so young. He feels older than his years, but he also feels young in the sense that he is still experiencing the world—he intervenes as often as he is able and is not shy about ending with the small community that they are soon leaving, he is most affected by suffering and injustice. There is a pity borne of his divine point of view, yes, but even comparing him to Trist, who has obviously embraced the mortal world and ingrained herself within it, or S.I.L.A.H.A., who has gone out of his way to experience the wonders of the city that has driven them to such drastic lengths but who seems distantly resigned to its destruction, Ayden feels impressed upon by the circumstances of the world in a way that is much more youthful.
It seems that there was some amount of plan around who arrived when, but it wasn't all that specific beyond Ioun scouting ahead in Aeor, and was otherwise based on their own decision or whim. Why did Pelor wait so long to go? Had he hoped that perhaps the issue would be resolved before it became necessary—before the light of Exandria was sequestered away in a mortal form? Was he wary of growing too used to being mortal, to becoming attached to his life even beyond Trist, who leaves her family ruefully but resolutely all the same?
Ayden walks as though he cannot help but let the world touch him, but he doesn't seem to have companions of his own, instead traveling with Trist's family. They have left their home recently enough that Trist is still wearing her husband's overcoat rather than her own, and he goes without, suggesting that they have fled recently and with haste. In contrast, Ayden makes no mention of parents or a family, though he is young enough that he should still be with them. In this time of war, it is simple to wonder if they've been killed in its path, perhaps before Ayden was aware of the hand he'd had in its making. He carries little, and the shield he has seems to be—at least looks—worn and broken. It's quite likely that it too was created in response to this war, as much as Ayden himself. He looks to his sister and her mercy like a north star.
He feels both new to and impressed upon by the world, and I have to wonder how forcefully he is holding himself apart from its suffering, even as he intervenes often enough that he risks giving himself and his family away—not because he is afraid to experience it, but because he already has. He understands that he is fighting for this world even as he and his family is the cause of its strife. Aeor may offer the gods the mechanism by which to separate themselves from the world they've shaped, but I wonder if having the perspective of Ayden will give Pelor the resolve and the reason to choose it.
#listen as a person who has thought a LOT about anamnesis i am just. AUGH.#tell me about what THAT adolescence was like gdi#like CHRIST#critical role#cr spoilers#ayden#cr downfall#also for the record it is SO cruel and unusual for cr to air this during my most off the grid week of the whole year. fucked up#had to copy this into notes just in case Tumblr ate it while i tried to post#cr meta
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guys i love them i promise i just have the urge to put them through the grinder sometimes
umm on the bright side here's the alternate good ending version lol!!!!!
#haiii ^_^#i didnt know whether to make a seperate post for the good ending one but it wouldve been weird so im just adding it onto here lol#op#one piece#sanji#usopp#god usopp#black leg sanji#vinsmoke sanji#sanuso#usosan#tw blood#tw injury#angst#comic#my art#mintart#ok originally i was gonna use every color but red for the first two pages and only make the butterfly red then make the last page red too#cuz yaaayyy symbolism whatever cringe and then i scrapped it cuz i love working with pink and i was nawt about to figure out#a whole new colour palette during finals week. also i have 5 minutes before class so im speed typing this LOL#anygays thanks lars for the usopp dies brainrot i HATE YOU#he's partly responsible for this actually#i hate how the colours of the last page turned out uurgghghhh im not fixing it tho bye#i like the rest of it tho >_<#i love writing dialogue but silent comics r pretty fun too#ive been doing a couple of those lately and theyve been helping me with gesture and expression practice#lol i love drawing sanji pathetic and in love#i love drawing usopp in general he's my favorite to draw ever im so glad he exists#JUST NOTICED THE LESBIAN COLOUR PALETTE UHHH NOT INTENTIONAL or maybe it could be yuri who knows. they r so very gender#i will draw sanuso yuri soon tho TRUST!!!!!!!!!
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The way that Tom looks at them heals something in me that I didn’t know was so broken. Or something, idk.
#I’m convinced he’s the sweetest man alive#Like#look at his lil face#!!!!!!!!!??????#To clearly have so much love and joy and admiration and humour in one’s gaze-#tom mayo#shoot from the hip#also just the way that people describe him and what I’ve heard of peoples experiences meeting him#Makes me wanna sob /pos#anyway#I’ve had a really busy and difficult week (it’s probably been more than a week let’s be real) and idk#These guys make all that better#And Tom like he just 😭 you can see the genuine love and care radiating from him#Like obviously all of sfth are amazing and wonderful people too#But like#you know what I mean#anyway :)#Tom :)#In that last one Luke chose him to marry when they were all asked “snog marry kill” during a qna#His whole face lit up#Like 😭😭😭#friends who you can say you’d marry!?!!!!??#😭😭👍#I’m so normal#I wanna meet them all so bad#Sfth screenshots
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Where did the Doflamingo does cocaine thing come from, is it just fanon?
Have you ever seen Donquixote Doflamingo?
Mf snorts Flintstone vitamins just to feel something. He’s had 2 nose jobs and an entire scalp transplant. He can’t smell anything anymore so he uses Diamante as a good judge of “is this too strong to use as cologne.”
It always is.
#during a ‘vote me again for king’ event#which By the way#was already rigged but that’s beside the point#he killed a baby from the smell of his cologne alone#was a whole week long issue#one piece#donquixote doflamingo#ask dolfy#ask box#doffy
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No I need to rant about it I don’t care at this point. I really REALLY don’t care if you don’t like achilles because of his actions that’s so fucking fair like really have at it keep doing what you’re doing, but PLEASE for the love of GOD stop acting like he is a shallow character without depth or reasoning. You can extend empathy and justify and moralize the actions of all your other favorite war criminals so why is it so difficult for you to actually read into his depth. It’s not like I’m asking for a lot here! Just please stop saying baseless things because you don’t like the guy. And please stop trying to moralize the actions of men in war. Specifically Hector of Troy because no he’s not the “only good man” he also killed men and taunted them as they died and despite whether or not you think he was JUST doing it to protect his city he was doing it for that reason AND because he didn’t want to be shunned as a man for not fighting and have his pride and image injured. Hector killed men viciously and liked it idk why that’s so hard for you guys to understand. And while I’m on the rant no Troy the city was also not a victim of imperialism I don’t know where the fuck that came from but I’m so tired. I’m so tired.
#achilles#hector of troy#the Iliad#yk the whole pride thing is why Hector and Achilles are such great narrative foils#theyre not narrative foils bc one is wholly good and one is wholly bad that’s not how narrative foils work#trojan war#ranting#pls don’t come at me with documented sources it’s 8am and I’m going off memory#if you need evidence pls reach me again during the week between the hours of 10am-5pm#eli speaks#eli rants
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I know being in love makes you say dramatic stuff and all that but I’m being dead serious right now. I’m gonna marry this guy
#having a moment here#my best friend of five years now my beloved#the past few weeks I’ve been bedridden with illness and he’s come over almost every day to take care of me#even during finals#cleaned my whole apartment while I was sick#including scrubbing the toliet and litter box#asked nothing in return#he is just a person brimming with love#and not just for me#now he’s calling me deeper into the faith#ughhh okay gushing over rn#let’s see if this one ever makes it out of the drafts#like any of the others#Mooky talks#for my beloved
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Look, I know it's supposed to end badly. But I need to admit that in my head, they declared a mutual "fuck this shit" to the world and society. Packed all the stuff they could one late night and escaped to a remote open plain in the middle of some thick woods where they spent the rest of their lives healing and living freely in nature.
I've been having a lot of intense feelings about them as well. The tragical elements are so baked in to their story and setting, it's hard to imagine a happy ending for them. But every now and then I find myself thinking of scenarios and AUs where they both live and grow old together. For coping purposes, I suppose.
#for real though I've had several crying sessions over them during the past couple of weeks I'm not kidding#that's how you know you've perhaps gotten a little too emotionally invested in your characters#two entirely fictional dog men whose fates I have complete control over have reduced me to shambles#the unfortunate truth is that from a storytelling point the whole thing works better as a tragedy#the sadness makes the happy moments more significant and the happy moments feel bittersweet because of the sadness#for all intents and purposes they're classic star-crossed lovers#neither of them have done anything to justify such a wretched end though and I just want good things for them#I think I might have to come up with an alternate ending where Machete has the sense and chance to resign before it's too late#and move to Florence to be closer to Vasco#or maybe they both go back to Venice where they originally met that might be nice#maybe not realistic but it'd be nice#answered#dragonfoxgirl
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there is something so. intensely frustrating about feeling incapable of showing up for people the way that they want you to
#i wish people understood that it's so hard to be present in their lives and that closeness for me isnt about frequency of contact#but how open we feel during that contact#my brain is such a difficult place to live in it is so loud and so busy all the time#24 hours a day is a constant monologue and argument with myself for everything and it means that i just dont have the capacity to talk to#others most of the time#and like. i know this is so unreasonable. obviously we have to be present in the lives of people that care for us#but it just feels like every day i have to like. get on a stage and perform to every person in my life that cares about me so i can meet the#criteria of being a Good Friend or Good Girlfriend or Good Fan Artist or Good Mutual or Good Server Member#i feel like it is such a blessing to be seen by others as someone to expect things from#but as more people have started to love me it feels like i have to 'go out and perform' more and more and i am very exhausted#i wish i was someone that was easy to love and care for in the way that i am. and i dont mean that self deprecatingly it's just#i know im very hard to care about and love. because i disappear all the time and come back in a big flurry as soon as i get the energy back#and im just feeling it a Lot More lately because im starting to think this isnt going to be a short term thing i have to do before i start#feeling comfortable with a person#this is going to be my whole life#if i get married im going to have to 'go out and perform' and be a good wife and be affectionate and happy and not closed into my own brain#for days#if im going to make friends with colleagues I'll have to go out when they invite me and have to reply ro their texts and i cant just go#silent for weeks while i try to negotiate with my thoughts and then reappear once i make the slightest breakthrough#im very tired and sad. i want companionship but i feel like the kind of person i am is not fair for people who would be my companion#vent post#♡alizeh talks♡
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“white mourning.”
#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’#jean is a very easy character to hate if you know nothing about him. & you know what they say. easy target doesn’t make for a good practice#judit literally compares harry to intellectually disabled man yet you don’t see ppl hating her because she is outwardly nice.#she’s polite yes but she doesn’t care as much as jean cares for harry#he is not perfect. he is mean. but loyal. if he truly didn't care he wouldn't hab come back to martinaise & coulda just reported harry’s as#he put up with du bois’ bullshit for years and built a toxic (totally straight) relationship with him yet always comes back.#he says he will leave you in the village to die but please understand harry isn't exactly a great person. especially pre-bender hdb.#planned a make up joke & put on a wig for hdb even tho he wasn’t the who started the whole fiasco#you can hate him all you want for leaving harry before & during tribunal but how could he have foreseen all this bullshit would have happen#his second leaving is kinda bullshit writing but#jv is dealing with his own demons too. clinical depression. partner almost died. job is shit. case spiraling out control#i do not blame the DE staff either. sometimes shit just happens. not everything needs a grand explanation.#but it definitely coulda been handled better. but i understand. resources were sparse.#i relate to jv. as someone with temper issues & attention problems i have to remove myself from the scene or i'll say shit i'd regret late#my man is having the worst week of his life. leave him alone.#kim is great but have u heard of a man who thinks he's old when he is only 30 & luvs horses & his commie boyfriend that he's divorcin' soon#disco elysium#de fanart#jean vicquemare#disco elysium fanart#jean heron vicquemare#jean posting#illustration#de#artists on tumblr#I WANTED TO DRAW THIS FOR MONTHSSS YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE. HE LITERALLY HAUNTED ME IN MY SLEEP!!!#i love him normal amount. very healthy. much feelings#my little maiu maiu#cryptiduni#my art
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THE X-FILES (1993-2018)
SEASON ELEVEN — It’s time to face the facts, guys. This is the end of the X-Files. But maybe the point wasn’t to find the truth, but to find each other. For no matter where we go in our lives, we will always have the memories of our time together, and no one can take those away.
#🤡 <- me using the silliest quote possible because the silly episode™ is still the most genuinely profound of the whole season#txf#tv#txf11#the x files#txfedit#tvedit#scifiedit#horroredit#thexfilesnet#.gif#flashing gif tw#*txfrewatch#also hi I know I said i was gonna be absent for a bit longer but I remembered I still needed to post this#and ik its gonna flop whenever but I still dont wanna post on the weekend and it'd be nice to have next week as a little#breathing room before the event? also I don't need to explain myself actually. sooo here we go now and byeee#it's been a lot of fun for me making these during my rewatch and to always see the sweetest comments from some of u <333
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JIARA WEEK [3/7] -> day three, underrated
expressing love
«i know your whole life, you freak when people get close. and i get it, i don't blame you»
«you're right, i flipped. you know how i'd be»
#jiaraweek2023#jiara#jj x kie#jj x kiara#jiaraedit#jiarasource#obx#obxedit#obxhub#outer banks#i know it's not very fitting for the theme but i have funny a story#that was last minute originally i wanted to do a kie touches jj to ground him gifset but i got too carried away by the love languages theme#doing only physical touch wasn't enough for me so i decided to do all five love languages and get a great two hour sleep during work week#staying almost the whole night to finish this set is very adult thing to do believe me#oh and the last gif is kind of speculation about jj's ring#for me it's canon that this is his mother's wedding ring and he's going to propose with it so what?#mariestuff#queued
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