#or maybe they both go back to Venice where they originally met that might be nice

[canisalbus]

Look, I know it's supposed to end badly. But I need to admit that in my head, they declared a mutual "fuck this shit" to the world and society. Packed all the stuff they could one late night and escaped to a remote open plain in the middle of some thick woods where they spent the rest of their lives healing and living freely in nature.

I've been having a lot of intense feelings about them as well. The tragical elements are so baked in to their story and setting, it's hard to imagine a happy ending for them. But every now and then I find myself thinking of scenarios and AUs where they both live and grow old together. For coping purposes, I suppose.

[quibbs126]

Oh yeah, so does anyone remember that one Professor Layton OC I made back during my Layton phase?

Not Eileen, I’m talking about this guy here. The character who was unnamed but was part of an idea I had for a Layton story (and also an ex of Descole’s)

Well, I actually named him ages ago, as well as gave him a bit more stuff (not a lot, just a bit), and about 2 hours ago I just randomly decided to draw/redesign him again. For no particular reason, I just did it

If I’m being honest, I don’t think the redesign turned out half bad. I didn’t do much, just changed up his hair and outfit a little, but I think it works. Ironically I was using Ace Attorney characters as more of my reference here than Layton. Maybe not the best but it works

Also I know his cane arm looks weird, but shh

I wrote most of the stuff about him up there, but his name is now Claude di Adone, for reasons I don’t remember. I do remember where Claude came from though, it was @notllorstel’s Twisted Fates AU Descole that was Layton. And also that his name was supposed to sound both vaguely French and Italian

As I recall, the hypothetical plot centers a good deal on parts of Descole’s past (though not a lot on Descole’s character development), where Layton and co come to this town where at least in public, everyone dresses similar to Descole. Not necessarily because of him, but rather because it was based on the bauta masks and the fact that apparently people in Venice once commonly wore these outfits and that sounded cool

Actually I think I remember the name of the story now, I believe it was City of Masks or something like that

Edit: I found the original post, it was Town of Masks

Anyways, Claude was the one who called Layton here, as he wanted him to solve some mystery going around the town that I never really figured out, and had done so after learning of his reputation

However, there’s more to Claude as he actually once knew Desmond Sycamore when they were younger. The image says “friend” because they weren’t just friends, they were actually dating, but Claude might not make that fully known. There are hints prior to this revelation that Claude knows a bit more than he should about Layton from the papers, or at least on a level that he shouldn’t for a complete stranger, like trying to call Layton by his first name. This is because Claude has been fully aware of the Hershel twist for years as this was before Desmond got super secretive about his former life and considered Claude someone he could trust. So from Claude’s perspective he’s meeting the famed younger brother of an old friend/ex of his that he’s never fully gotten over his feelings for, and he occasionally forgets that Layton probably doesn’t know that

But not only does Claude have a past with Desmond/Descole, but Descole himself happens to be in the town as well, albeit with a bout of amnesia. Note that this is supposed to take place sometime after the prequels. Claude is well aware of this, and this is the second secret reason he called Layton, as he knows Layton has a past with both Desmond and Descole, and hopes that Layton will be able to jog his memory, especially as Claude himself has been struggling with that due to the large gap in time from when they last met

Also, there’s the matter of his cane. Originally I said that he used one due to an injury in the past, but now I’ve decided he’s just always had weak legs, and has been using a cane pretty much his whole life. His cane does still secretly have a sword though

Claude is a nice guy, and can be rather generous, such as letting Layton and his friends stay in his house for their time here, since he’s rich with a big house and lives alone aside from some servants, so there’s plenty of room, and he does ultimately have good intentions, but he can also be shady as fuck sometimes and you probably don’t know him as well as you think

And yeah, I just felt like sharing that. Don’t know if anyone cares but I did

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

Hey @vindicatedvirgil remember this prompt you sent a while back that was supposed to be Rociet but I changed my mind? I finally finished the original!

At the Last Second

Summary:   Inspired by Snowing in Venice by Elizaveta. In an attempt to get as far away from their hometown as possible, Janus decides to go to college in Venice, Italy. Roman is conflicted over his feelings about it and doesn't know what to say until the last second.

Warnings: asthma mention. Please let me know if there are more

Ships: Janus x Roman, Rociet

WC: 1, 985

General Taglist: (ask to be tagged generally or in specific writing.) @im-an-anxious-wreck @logans-library @janus-is-an-adorable-snek-boi

Maybe my song, isn’t happy enough but I

I see it take flight with the snowflakes above

My coffee gets cold, as I’m staring enthralled 

At the snow that keeps falling outside

-----

Roman snuck another glance at Janus when they thought he wasn’t looking, seeing him still smiling slightly and nodding along to whatever song was on that Roman couldn’t concentrate on right now because they were looking at Janus. It wasn’t as if this was a new occurrence, they looked at Janus all the time. When he took half assed notes during class, pushing his soft, straight hair out from in front of his eyes with practiced impatience. When he glided along beside Roman on his skateboard while they tried desperately to keep their eyes on the sidewalk lest they flip over the handlebars of their bike. When he walked towards them with that signature crookeds smile, straight backed but casual and always ready with some biting quip they would both laugh at. And now- when he was driving to the airport for college, Roman sat beside him destined to waste away in the small town they had grown up in, alone and forgotten.

Admittedly that was dramatic even for them but it felt true all the same. Roman had never really gotten along with Janus until high school hit, when Roman had actually started looking away from their own little bubble and out towards everyone else’s. For the life of them they couldn’t imagine why they had ever been enemies. Janus was smart, scarily so sometimes, often getting into debates (arguments) with Logan and Virgil in any given class and always seeming to have just the right phrase or quote or research paper handy to pull up on his phone that drove his points across. He could sing, though Roman didn’t admit they had heard him while he painted the theater sets one day until many months later; his beautifully haunting baritone filling the theater as if he was the only one ever meant to sing in it. He was also incredibly caring, helping Roman through rough patch after rough patch and letting Roman do the same for him. They had become nearly inseparable from ninth grade on but now-

Janus had always been smart and always wanted to move as far away from their hometown as possibly- namely his family but that was another topic entirely. Roman had helped him research colleges when they were in eleventh grade, jokingly saying that with all his dramatics and flair he should go to Paris to study, citing it as a place to find the romanticism he alway put into everything anyway. Learning he had taken that to heart as a possibility to get even further away, eventually enrolling in and getting accepted not to anywhere in Paris, but instead Venice, Italy had nearly torn Roman in two. They had been so incredibly happy for and proud of their friend but they selfishly wished he had stayed just a little bit closer. Roman dreamed of a teaching job, somewhere they could help out in the creative department helping kids like them come out of their shell and discover new talents and passions. They didn’t need to go overseas for that- they didn’t want to and was in the process of preparing to move a state over to go to a community college to start out that path.

So Janus was moving thousands of miles away for who knew how long (four years at least) and Roman would then only be furthering that gap with his own move, leaving them to letters and skype calls as the primary source of communication rather than their trips to the cake shop or late night talks at the local park. And Roman knew that should be enough, but he was already missing the weight of Janus’ hand in their own and his warmth at their side during movie marathons and their smile and laugh and stupid, sarcastic sense of humor. They snuck  another glance over but realized with a start Janus was looking at them, his hand off the wheel and- when had the car stopped? They couldn’t possibly be there already could they?

But they were, and Janus was looking at them with that all knowing look that always infuriated Roman to no end but he said nothing, instead reaching over and squeezing their hand before moving to get out of the car. The airport wasn’t really that far away from their town, just an hours drive to the edge of the city but Roman still felt they had just wasted it pouting instead of actively being there for their best friend. Janus wouldn’t say anything though, he probably knew how Roman was feeling before they knew themself but the knowing silence was somehow worse, filling the space between them that was about to get so much longer with too many words and not enough time to say them. Nevertheless they grabbed up a bag and smiled at the other, shutting the trunk after him and following to the waiting area. They had made good time, having a little over an hour to waste before Janus would have to board, which Roman had previously been ecstatic about but now it meant they might actually have to talk and they didn’t think they’d have the common sense to keep their mouth shut when it came to how they actually felt about him leaving.

“Roman, did you leave my medical bag in the car?” Janus’ concern pulled them out of their head as they looked around where they had decided to sit, sure it had been among the things they had picked up but they didn’t notice the unmistakable bright orange anywhere.

“I’ll go check, you stay with the bags so they don’t get stolen.” Janus nodding to give them the go-ahead had them turning on their heel and hurrying back towards the parking garage, twirling the keys around their finger as they went.

One thorough search of the car later and Roman was frantically texting Janus that they must have left it at the house, though how either of them had managed it they couldn’t fathom. 

Roman: I’ll just drive back and get it. Text you when I find it.

Janus: Hold on, let me get there since you left me with ALL THE BAGS

Roman: It’ll be faster if I just go. Let me be the dashing prince to rescue your trip!

Roman started the car up and quickly put it into reverse, not really thinking about practically stealing Janus’ car from him. Their phone buzzed from the passenger seat as he glanced in the rear view before pulling out completely, wincing as he saw Janus standing there where the car had just been parked. Several buzzes later and the car fell silent, making them bite back a laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. They had wanted an out from the tense hour that waiting for the flight would have been, they just wished it had been something a bit more low stakes than forgetting a bag with Janus’ epipen and inhaler inside. Settling further down into the seat they concentrated hard on the road, praying there wouldn’t be any traffic.

-----

Ten minutes.

Roman practically face planted on their way out of the car, swinging the bag up in triumph of finding it or fear of breaking it they didn’t know and was too busy to think about at the moment. Tearing through the air port as fast as they possibly could they finally found Janus standing near the line people were in to board the plane, glancing at his phone before looking around for any sign of Roman coming with his bag. In their haste they had forgotten to text him but they were here now- sweaty, gross and aching with all the things they wanted to say but didn't have time to even though they probably wouldn’t have taken the chance when they had it anyway. As much as they so wished this moment to be their happily ever after it was too soon in both of their lives for that and they’d have to come to terms with the fact that long distance anything was hard and they would both be busy with their own lives.

Pushing their bangs away from their face they finally reached Janus and held out the rescued bag, chest heaving from running through a house and then an airport. 

“You truly didn’t have to go all the way back on your own to get this Roman, but thank you.” Janus squinted at him and chuckled. “It’s a good thing I have this, do you need my inhaler?”

“I’d have to keep it since looking at you takes my breath away already.” Roman blurted, opening their mouth before they could think.

Janus blinked, then scowled playfully. “Roman Sanders, was that a pick up line? You waited until I’m about to leave the country to flirt with me?”

“No! ...well, yes but- I’ve flirted with you plenty before!”

“Jokingly!” Janus shoved them before grabbing at the front of their shirt and stepping closer. “You are insufferable.”

Roman hardly dared to breath as Janus leaned in closer, hands fluttering nervously at their sides as they stood still and waited. Smiling, Janus leaned up slightly. “May I have a kiss goodbye then?”

“If you don’t I will scream so loud security will take you and then you’ll have no choice but to stay here longer.”

Chuckling Janus stepped closer, erasing any pretense of space between them. Finally deciding their hands would feel less awkward resting on the others’ hips, they pulled Janus forward gently and tilted their head with his. The general din of the airport faded away as soft strands of feather light hair tickled their nose and Janus’ hands came up to tangle in their own somewhat frizzier hair at the nape of their neck. There was an announcement that vaguely sounded like Janus was being called to board but they were only held tighter as their lips finally, finally met.

And oh.

They almost wished they could sue Disney only on the merit that it had set their expectations for a first kiss entirely too low. There were no fireworks, no choir to set the mood further. It didn’t feel like the climax of their life nor like coming home after a long and tiring journey. It was soft, so very soft. A simple brush against their lips that filled them with an indescribable amount of joy for such a small action; and then they were being pulled and they followed willingly, pressing against the other just a little tighter. Their noses bumped despite the angle and Roman’s hands still felt awkward even if Janus hadn’t brushed them away but it felt like nothing and everything they had always dreamed it would be because it was Janus so it was good and perfect and like nothing they had ever experienced or wanted to experience in their life.

It only lasted a couple seconds, Janus pulling away only to peck their nose and whisper a quiet “see you later” against their lips and he was gone, hurrying towards the plane as the last call for his appearance was announced. Roman stood there, dumbfounded with a burning face but a chest that was burning  ten times hotter, hands still slightly outstretched where Janus’ waist had been moments before. Shaking themself out of it they turned swiftly and made their way over to a bench by the windows to watch the plane take off. Four years in Venice for Janus, four years in Pennsylvania for Roman.

They could do that.

-----

Maybe my song isn’t happy enough but I

I see it take flight with the snowflakes above me

My coffee gets cold as I’m staring enthralled 

This work is also available on AO3!

At the snow the keeps falling outside

If you like this please reblog! Reblogs helps creators get their work seen!

[queenmylovely]

Wedding Party I

Summary: Ben hardy x fem!reader. Lucy and Rami’s wedding is coming up and you and Ben are both part of the wedding party, with one catch. 

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: cussing, fluff, some roasting of reader 

A/N: This is the third and final part of my 500 follower celebration!! Though you might be able to guess that this will have more than one part, so stay tuned! Thank you so much again to everyone who follows me, including the people that have since I hit 500, cause it’s been a minute, whoops. I’m hoping to post updates to this weekly until it’s done. (Side note, obviously not shaming reader and neither are any of her friends, including Lucy, she just doesn’t want any drama.) Any feedback is super appreciated but especially replies, messages, and asks are super helpful for my writing ‘cause I get to hear what you think!

Part II, Part III, Part IV, Mini i, Mini ii, Masterlist

(hot hot hot gif by @mrbenhardys​)

💖💖💖

Over the past couple years, you had found yourself attending no fewer than three weddings a year, and last year broke the record with six. It was always a bit of a to do but you enjoyed it nonetheless, happy to see your friends happy and to go to a party. You hadn’t always been so happy to go; originally you were a little cynical and bitter about being single while all of your school and university friends got married. But then, at the second wedding you had been to, you hooked up with the best man and your opinion had been changed. It was easy to be happy for the happy couple when you were having hot sex with friends of friends with no chance for strings or feelings.

As such, you had grown a bit of a reputation among your friends that had borne witness to this behavior. A few teased you about it, a couple were silent, and a few more cheered you on, but none tried to stop you. This was mainly because none of them had seen how it would negatively impact them. And it wasn’t like it was terrible, but on more than one occasion you and some other guest had been walked in on, sometimes only a heated making out, but sometimes in the act. You had apologized and even tried to make it till after the reception, but it was hard sometimes with all the free booze and romantic songs and pretty lights making you hornier than ever.

Maybe there had been some awkward happenings when it was a destination wedding and the wedding party had events the next day. While you were happy with the one and done, some of the men you had hooked up with would be miffed when you kicked them out after the deed and didn’t seem so interested the next morning. After a couple uncomfortable brunches where everyone could feel the tension in the air (and not the good kind), you had decided to stick with the guys that were just a bit douchey and wouldn’t be so pained at a one night stand. Not that they didn’t sometimes get butthurt when you dropped ‘em too.

But to you, that was the beauty of the thing: hot sex for one night and one night only. You and whoever else you were with would exist in a made-up wedding world for the ceremony, reception, a couple hours of fucking, and then it would all be over and you could go back to your real world without any consequences. Okay, so only a couple consequences.

You thought that you would be able to keep this up indefinitely; you had a ton of friends in relationships who would have plenty of eligible bachelors at their weddings. That is, until your best friend, Lucy, got engaged to Rami. When she had invited you over for brunch just the two of you and had told you the news, you were enthralled for her. Rami was an amazing guy and you had never seen Lucy as happy as when she was with him. And then you were enthralled for yourself when you thought about all Rami’s actor friends that would undoubtedly be there. You had already met a couple, Joe and Gwilym, and if they were any sign of what level of men would be there, you couldn’t wait.

Your daydreams all came crashing down around you when Lucy abruptly said, “You’re not allowed to fuck anyone at my wedding.”

The two of you had just separated from your happy hug so she put her hands on your shoulders to make sure you looked at her and were paying attention.

“I-I-- What?” you stumbled out, brought from your reverie that was running through a list of A-list celebrity names that might be at the wedding. You tried to look innocent but the fiery look in Lucy’s eyes stopped you. So instead you whined, “Why?”

Lucy just rolled her eyes, though fondly, and replied, “Sit down.”

The two of you sat down at the wonderful brunch she (probably with help from Rami who was quite the home cook) had made and plated a couple items, poured mimosas, and you took your first bite before she continued.

“Obviously, Rami and I are very private people. We don’t like our relationship broadcasted to the public, and Rami feels that way about most of his life in general. So we’ve decided to have a really small wedding. We want it to be intimate and to share our love with each person that attends. We don’t feel like we have to prove anything or live up to any crazy standard and invite hundreds of people, half of whom we’ve never even spoken to,” Lucy explained, and throughout her little speech you felt yourself get a little emotional because you could tell how truly and deeply she and Rami loved each other. Lucy’s voice cracked a little and you reached your hand over to hers to give it a gentle squeeze.

Lucy took a sip of her drink and then said with a more pointed tone, “So because we are close friends or family with every single person that will be there, we don’t want anybody… fraternizing with anybody else and causing… awkward circumstances for us or any of the guests.”

“‘We,’ Lucy? Rami told you he didn’t want me fucking anyone?” you asked sarcastically.

“Well, when I say we I mean me, mainly. But Rami does want a drama-free wedding, as do I,” Lucy conceded. As she finished her sentence, Rami walked in having returned from what looked like the gym.

“What about me? Hi Y/N, hi sweet,” Rami said, dropping a kiss to your cheek briefly and then giving Lucy a more substantial one on the lips.

“Oh we were just talking about the wedding, you know,” Lucy said and Rami grinned.

“Did you ask her?” he inquired.

“Ask me what?”

“Well you know that Emma and I have had a pact to have each other as our maids of honour since we were like two and three,” she started and you nodded, knowing the story because she and her sister had relayed it many times over the years you had known them. “But will you do me the honour of being one of my bridesmaids?” A big smile took over your face and you jumped up to hug her, practically yelling “yes!” into her ear. Then you brought Rami into the hug as well, all of you laughing and smiling.

When that was done, you all sat back down, Rami pulling up a chair and grabbing a plate. Then you turned to him and said, “So Rami, Luce was just about to tell me about all of your friends that are going to be there.”

You were just teasing, but as you saw Lucy’s miffed face, you couldn’t help yourself. “You know, I really liked meeting Joe and Gwilym, it’d be nice to see them again. And can’t forget about that Ben who you all talk so much about. ‘Haven’t met him yet, but I’m sure the wedding will fix that.”

So that Lucy couldn’t see, you winked at Rami to make sure he knew you were joking, mostly.

Before you could say another word, Lucy burst out, “No, do not fuck anyone. Okay? Do. Not. Fuck. Anyone. Especially Ben.”

Your ears perked up at that, “Ben? Why especially Ben?”

“Uhhhhhhh,” Lucy hesitated for a second, a look of panic taking over her face.

“Because you guys will be walking together and you’ll spend the most time together,” Rami saved her.

“Yeah, it would mess up the whole party’s dynamic. Just don’t okay?” Lucy asked with a pleading look in her eyes to make you feel guilty.

“Okay, geez, I won’t. You guys act like I’m some floozy who can’t keep it in her pants,” you half-pouted for a second, but then they both gave you a look. “Whatever, I won’t, I won’t!”

_

Unbeknownst to you, the reason they were so hell-bent on keeping your attention off Ben specifically was not because he was the groomsman to your bridesmaid (although that would’ve been reason enough). It was actually because Ben had the exact same reputation amongst his friends as you did yours.

After he had gotten out of a more serious relationship a couple years ago, he hadn’t settled down again. With plenty of friends getting married, his was the same fruitful situation as yours, and he used it to his benefit. The wedding scene was a lot more reliable than just hitting up any old bar or pub.

Ben had also gotten the no fucking speech, but from Rami when he asked him to be a groomsman. He had agreed to the rule with a begrudging nod. Ben was easier to convince since he was mutual friends with a lot of Lucy and Rami’s friends and would know most everyone at the wedding.

While you and Lucy had been best friends for years, you weren’t an actress and didn’t already know most of her actor friends. Because of Lucy’s filming schedules and locations, you relied on a lot of facetime to keep up with each other. You had only met Joe because you had tagged along on a Venice trip with Lucy and Rami. Gwilym you had got to know a bit more because whenever Lucy and Rami were in town for more than a week they liked to have dinner parties or game nights and both of you were frequently in attendance. Ben’s filming schedule or other priorities had always prevented him from joining in, at least for times you had gone.

Of course you had seen pictures of Ben on everyone’s instagram, and maybe had done some stalking of your own. Not to mention you watched Bohemian Rhapsody, obviously, and had caught a couple of other things he had been in just by happenstance. He seemed like a pretty good actor and a pretty great guy from what you could tell. Plus, you trusted the judgement of your friends about his character.

_____

Lucy and Rami weren’t ones to do the more extravagant things that some engaged couples did. Instead of a big engagement party, they decided to have a dinner party with just their families and the wedding party.

The party started at 6:30pm, so you got there… at 6:50pm. You hadn’t meant to be late but you couldn’t decide between two dresses, worrying that the one you wanted to wear would be too dressy. You ended up going for it anyway, it was black with an opaque sweetheart neckline and a mesh and lace section that made it sleeveless and so it wasn’t actually strapless. It wasn’t bodycon but it hugged your curves nicely and had gold shimmery thread as part of the lace that caught the light. You had also done your makeup and hair quickly but thought that the overall effect was nice.

As you arrived at their door, you tried the handle, hoping it was open so you could slip in quietly, but no dice. So you knocked twice and stepped back to wait. No answer came so you knocked again louder and waited again. Just as you were about to raise your hand again, the door swung open and you saw Joe there.

He smiled when he recognized you; the two of you had become quick friends during those couple days in Venice.

But before he could say anything, you glanced past him and asked, “Dinner hasn’t started, right? I’m not that late?”

Joe laughed and shook his head, “No, everyone’s still getting drinks and stuff. You’re only like five minutes behind the last person to arrive. Nice to see you by the way.”

You laughed sheepishly and leaned in for the hug he offered, “Nice to see you too, Joe. How’s everything?”

The two of you headed further into the apartment as he told you, “Pretty good. I'm actually starting filming just outside London so I’ll be over here basically until right after the wedding. No trips back and forth for me.”

“That’s great! And that means you’ll be ‘round for game nights. I’ll have to warn you that Gwilym and I make a great team.”

Joe scoffed at that, “Gwil and I are a great team, thank you very much.”

“Funny, he hasn’t mentioned anything to me about your skills,” you shot back with a smirk.

“Guess we’ll just have to ask him.”

“Guess we will.”

Gwilym ended up being the first person the two of you saw as you entered the living room. He saw you walk in and headed over quickly with a big smile on his face.

“Ah Y/N, glad you made it!” he said, leaning down for a peck on the cheek and a quick hug.

“Yep, and only 20 fashionable minutes late,” you replied and the three of you laughed.

“Alright, alright, introductions are over. We have something to settle with you Gwil,” Joe said seriously.

“Oh?” Gwil asked, a little confused.

“That’s right. Joe and I wanted to know which one of us is the best game night partner,” you asked, pointing an accusatory finger as Joe squinted his eyes at him.

Gwil broke out in laughter, which only seemed slightly nervous. “Well you see… It’s like comparing apples and oranges. Y/N you’re better at trivia but Joe you’re really good at charades.”

Joe and you looked at each other and then back to Gwil.

“Seems like a bit of a cop-out to me,” Joe pointed out.

“Yeah, why don’t you just give us a real--”

“Y/N! There you are!” you heard Lucy calling out to you and you turned to see your best friend excusing herself from some of her family members. She half ran over to you and pulled you in for a tight hug.

“Hey you look nice,” you told her when you pulled back and could see her outfit. She was in a flowy cream colored dress with ruffles and gold ribbon sewn in.

“Thank you,” she replied. Then a cheeky smile took over her face and she told you, “You look a bit like a young widow attending her 80-year-old husband’s funeral after killing him in his sleep. All you’re missing is the black veil.”

“Shut up!”

“Don’t listen to her, Y/N, you look lovely,” Rami told you as he walked up.

As he kissed your cheek and you leaned in for a hug you told him while looking at Lucy, “Thank you, Rami, you truly are such a good friend.”

“I’m just telling it like it is,” Lucy shrugged to everyone’s amusement.

Everyone got to chatting and catching up, but when you were in the middle of a conversation with Gwil, Lucy pulled you away.

“Where did he get to?” Lucy wondered, looking around the room. “Who--?”

“Ah there he is,” Lucy told herself more than you and started pulling you over to the other side of the room.

You had no idea where she was leading you to until you noticed a man with blonde hair facing the other direction and talking to a couple you didn’t know. Realizing it must be Ben, your stomach dropped but whether it was out of anticipation, excitement, or anxiousness you couldn’t tell. Ben had been hyped up so much both by your friends and by the idea of him you had in your mind. Now it was even worse after that speech Lucy had given you a couple weeks ago. Even though she hadn’t meant to, she was putting all of your attention on Ben with the thought of sex in mind. Now you were just trying to stave it off so you didn’t make a fool of yourself upon meeting him.

Taking a deep breath in as Lucy tapped on his shoulder, you tried to ready yourself for anything that might happen. Ben looked quickly and saw that it was Lucy and politely excused himself from the conversation.

Even just hearing him say that made your eyes widen slightly; he had such a deep, rich voice that in any other case your mouth would practically be watering at the thought of what it would sound like in bed. Now, you had that thought but had to drop it quickly from your mind because it would lead places that weren’t allowed.

Ben finally turned around, smiling at Lucy and then his expression turned to interest when he saw you.

“Ben, I’d like you to meet my best friend, Y/N. Y/N, this is Ben,” Lucy said and the two of you shook hands, smiling and exchanging pleasantries. “Okay so you both already know that you’ll be walking together so… get to know each other! Become, acquainted, better yet become friends!”

Both of you laughed lightly at Lucy’s words and then waved her off when someone started calling for her.

“So you’re the infamous Ben,” you said jokingly, looking him up and down as if you were studying him and not as if he was just incredibly good to look at.

“Infamous? Do I have that bad of a reputation?” Ben said back good-naturedly, though he was a little worried you had heard about his penchant for sleeping with people at weddings, especially with Rami confronting him about it.

“Well, maybe not bad, more I’ve just heard about you so much without meeting you that if it weren’t for your movies I wouldn’t have thought you really existed,” you amended with a smile.

“Oh my movies, huh? You’ve seen more than one?” Ben asked cheekily and your cheeks flushed for a moment.

“Well I’ve obviously seen borhap, as you would call it, and I saw X-Men before all that to keep up with the series, and my family’s very into action movies, so I caught 6 Underground with them,” you explained.

“Seems like you’re pretty familiar with my filmography,” he pointed out with a smile.

“If that’s what you wanna think…”

“I think that you’ve been here for about ten minutes and no one’s gotten you a drink. Can I fix that?” Ben asked, gesturing to your empty hands.

“Lead the way,” you replied, and he guided you over to where a little bar was set up. On the way, you had to remind yourself again of the rules and that though a handsome man was making you a drink, that was all that was happening.

“Alright, they’ve got the works so what would you like?” Ben said with an easy smile.

“Oh, um, I like Moscow mules,” you told him.

“Good choice, good choice,” Ben replied as he looked around at the different bottles. “A Moscow mule…”

“Do you know how to make a Moscow mule?” you asked because he had missed the ginger beer bottle about three times.

“What? Of course I… don’t,” he admitted sheepishly.

“It’s okay, I can just make it,” you suggested but Ben shook his head.

“No, I said I was going to get you a drink, and I’ll make it. If you could just tell me how?” he said with a small smile.

You laughed and nodded, “Okay, so just squeeze a lime wedge into the glass and go ahead and drop it in. Then a couple ice cubes, that’s good. And now two oz. of vodka, actually why don’t you do one and a half, I don’t need two right now. Now you just fill the rest with ginger beer and give it a stir!”

Ben stirred the drink and then garnished it with another lime wedge, “Ta-da, my first ever Moscow mule and all for you!”

Taking it from him, you waited until he grabbed his own drink again and then held yours up for a cheers. After taking a sip you said, “Mmm, very good, just like a real bartender. Do you want to try?”

“Sure,” he replied with a smile and you carefully exchanged drinks so he didn’t have to hold both while he did. Your hands brushed against each other a couple times and you had to keep your breath from catching at how warm his hands were and the way he looked at you when it happened. “Oh wow, yeah that’s very good. Maybe I’ll have to have these from now on.”

“And hey, if the acting thing ever stops working out, you could always fall back on being a bartender,” you joked, unable to stop your laughter.

Ben shook his head but laughed too, saying, “That’s cold, that’s cold.”

Then he took another gulp of your drink and you reached forward to get it from him, “Hey, that’s mine, make your own if you’re so good at it.”

“Just a repayment for you being so mean. There, have it back,” he said with a smirk, handing it back to you and grabbing his own drink from your hand.

“Hmph,” you held your drink close to you to keep him from getting it again and Ben laughed at your actions, about to say something else when Rami was heard over the chatter saying that dinner was ready.

_

For dinner you were sat in between Lucy and Joe with Ben across from you and Gwilym and Rami next to him. Talk and laughter interrupted the actual eating of the meal, but it was hard to mind because everyone was having so much fun. Lucy and Rami’s families were on the other side of them, so everyone got to hear funny stories about their childhood as well.

After dinner, you and Emma had volunteered to get the dessert ready after some others had helped put away the dishes. You took it as an opportunity to catch up a little.

“So, you and that Ben seem to be hitting it off,” Emma said in a teasing tone as she started grabbing little plates from a cupboard.

“Please, you’re not doing recon for Lucy are you?” you asked with a roll of your eyes and taking the cleaned forks from the dish rack.

Emma looked at you confusedly, “What do you mean?”

“She didn’t tell you what she told me?” you asked and she shook her head. You sighed, taking the cover off the homemade sheet cake as you told her, “She told me that I wasn’t allowed to fuck anyone. And especially Ben because we’re walking together.”

Emma broke out in laughter at the words you said and the dejected way in which you said them, accidentally dropping the cake server onto the counter with a clatter, “Oh my gosh, honestly I can’t blame her, you do kinda wreak havoc on weddings.”

“That’s not fair! There’s only been like two outright verbal fights because of me,” you defended, taking the cake server yourself and starting to cut squares of cake.

“Hey, don’t take your anger out on the cake,” she pointed to your first haphazard piece of cake. “Anyway, how many passive aggressive altercations have there been because of you?”

“I dunno,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders but Emma’s look made you add, “Fine, a lot.”

“Exactly, now Ben’s hot I’ll give you that,  but I think you can survive these next weeks without jumping his bones. It’s not like you’ll be seeing him all the time,” Emma told you.

“Yes, yes, I’ll be an adult, whatever. Lucy and Rami already covered this, you know,” you said with a bit of annoyance.

“Okay I’ll shut up. Let’s get this cake out there before there’s a riot,” she joked and you smiled, following her back into the living room with the pan of cake as she took the forks and plates.

_

Emma’s speech (you swore next it’ll be their mom telling you not to fuck Ben) did give you new resolve not to get too friendly with Ben, thinking it was better to interact with him in groups from now on.

That plan went well for most of the rest of the night as Joe, Gwilym, and Emma proved effective buffers. But then Gwilym had to leave because he had call time in the morning and Joe went with because he was staying with him. Then Emma went off to compare notes with Sami, Rami’s brother, about their respective maid of honor and best man responsibilities. You looked around and realized that because it was getting later and the families had gone home and Lucy and Rami were off doing who knows what in the kitchen, you were completely alone with Ben.

Not only that, but you were sitting right next to him on the couch and your knees were definitely touching. You tapped your fingers on your cup as you listened to Ben. He was telling you about shooting in Italy, which you had asked about because after going to Venice, you wanted to see more, but it was hard to pay attention. Your focus was being brought to his hands that he used to gesture as he talked. To his hair that he would absent-mindedly run his fingers through whenever a strand fell down onto his forehead. To his lips, oh fuck his full lips, that he licked whenever he smiled or laughed.

You could feel yourself leaning closer to him and if you weren’t wrong, his words were slowing down and he was getting closer to you too.

“So, yeah, I loved Florence, but um, Siena was something-- something special. It’s, it’s really-- really gorgeous,” Ben finished.

You looked up at him but found that he was looking at your lips and had tugged his own between his teeth. With the second drink in your system and the way you could feel Ben’s body heat radiating towards you and pulling you in, you were a second away from saying fuck it iand just kissing him.

“Are you done with your drink? Do you need another or?” Lucy’s voice asking you brought both of you out of whatever state you were in and you moved apart from each other, not so subtly.

You looked to Lucy and didn’t miss the pointed look she was giving you. “No, I should probably actually head out. I’ve got something in the morning, thanks though.”

Ben stood up when you did and you said goodbye with a strictly friendly hug. Then you said goodbye to Lucy, telling her quietly that she didn’t have to say anything. You found Rami with Emma and Sami and said goodbye to all of them.

As you were headed to the front door to let yourself out, Ben walked up behind you.

“Hold on a second,” he said and you turned around to him with a pleasant smile. “I, um, wanted to give you my number in case there’s ever anything that we need to discuss or whatever since we’re, you know, walking together.”

Ben was a little awkward getting that out, so you handed your phone to him with a bright, “Sure!” to reassure him.

He typed in his phone number and you were ready to walk away with a quick goodbye but Ben got a look in his eye. For a second you thought he was going to kiss you and your breath caught, and then he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. Although not the kiss you were expecting, it still had an effect on you. It was different to the ones you had gotten from say Gwilym or Rami. Though it was probably just as quick, it felt a lot longer and just that simple act made your whole body feel warm.

“Looking forward to seeing you soon,” Ben said softly, hardly waiting for your quiet, “you too” before walking back to the living room.

You reached your hand up to the spot on your cheek he had kissed and walked out the door. That warm feeling didn’t go away all night.

💖💖💖

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[spideyspoods]

Deception

Pairing: Peter Parker X F!Villain!Reader

A/N: Screw tumblr mobile for deleting my fic (again)!!!! You’ll probably notice that this seems similar to @marvelsswansong‘s series Kalopsia (would recommend) and I’m sorry about that, but it happened to be purely coincidental and we came to the conclusion that it was okay to post anyways, but I made sure to add a disclaimer anyways :)

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: Manipulation and a bit of angst. Far From Home spoilers!

Masterlist!

The class split up into their own groups, ready to explore everything Venice had to offer. Originally, Peter planned on sightseeing with Ned until he fell for Betty in what seemed like an instant. Unfortunately for Peter, he had no backup plan. He could either walk around aimlessly, pretending to be busy or muster enough courage to join Y/N L/N and her friends. It’s not like the latter was impossible, it was just complicated.

They’ve known each other since the very first day of high school and it seemed to be perfect. From the instant they talked, both of them knew that their friendship was there to last. She had stuck with him through the highs and lows; hell, she even knew about his biggest secret. Turns out hiding the fact that you’re some sort of superhero was hard to keep from your best friend.

So why was he nervous? Why did he feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest? He gripped onto the strap of his backpack hard enough to turn his knuckles white. Peter wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but he might have a small crush on her. Sometimes, she would talk or act in a certain way to make it look like she felt the same way as he did. “Hey, Parker!” a melodic voice called out, taking him out of his racing thoughts. His eyes shot up to see the very same girl in the center of a few classmates waving in her direction, “Tell these idiots that I’m not the one who crashed into Flash’s car!” He laughed, inching his way closer towards the small crowd. He had remembered that day all too well. “Seems like I have a video that says otherwise.” Y/N stared him down, disappointed in him not covering for her while he shrugged.

The water trembled and began to form erratic waves that bashed against the wooden docks. Peter felt chills run down his spine and made eye contact with her, to which she understood. A second later, a geyser shot up to take the form of a man made of water. “Come on, let’s move!” Y/N pointed towards a closed in area, pushing people away from the scene. She waited for everyone to follow, before turning to see a green ray blast through the monster. Y/N smiled, shutting the doors.

---

The class was dismissed, heading back to their small hotel rooms for the night. Y/N dried the ends of her hair while chatting with Ned and Peter. “I still don’t understand how you were so calm during that whole Mysterio thing.”

“Hidden talent. I’m just a calm person.” Y/N folded the towel, and looked to Peter who seemed to be somewhere else. “Earth to Parker, you doing okay?” “Hey, give him a break. He just fought a water demon, Y/N.” Peter shook his head, “Yeah, yeah I’m alright. I just can’t believe I’m one day into vacation and this happens.”

“Be proud of yourself, Parker. It was kind of cool,” Y/N trailed off, smirking. Peter’s cheeks flushed, while Ned watched the two of them with a knowing look. Y/N broke off the eye contact and coughed, “Well I need to get going before Mr. Harrington comes for me. See you later.”

Y/N turned around and turned the corner, still hearing Ned’s voice. “Dude she likes you!” While it was true, she couldn’t let her feelings get the best of her. The door to her room creaked open, Betty already sleeping peacefully. The phone in her pocket vibrated and she picked it up.

about to meet him. he ask any questions?

Y/N quickly typed a reply back, none. get him it’s almost showtime.

---

The following day, everyone packed up and found a black charter bus waiting for them. Peter sighed, knowing the reason behind the sudden change. Y/N stopped next to him, looking for him to speak. “I think Nick Fury hijacked our vacation.” Her eyes bulged out of her head, practically whisper yelling. “Wait you met Fury? You better tell me everything, we have nine hours to kill.”

Y/N took the window seat while Peter sat right next to her. “Well I met Mysterio, apparently his name is actually Quentin.” She stifled a laugh which was met with a playful grin. “Sorry, but who names their kid Quentin?”

He continued to explain everything from the elementals to his new mission in Prague. “Also Fury gave me this gift. Well it’s actually from Tony, but he gave it to Fury who gave it to me-” he continued to ramble, before calming himself down. He pulled out a wooden glasses case and he opened it carefully. Y/N’s breath hitched in her throat, realizing what it was. He slipped them on, hearing a computerized voice. “Hello, Peter. My name is EDITH which stands for ‘Even Dead, I’m the Hero. Tony liked his acronyms.”

“Yeah, he did.” his voice faint, sadness panged his face. Y/N looked away, focusing on the real task at hand. She would have to wait for the next pit stop, seeing as if EDITH could look right through her phone if it was on.

“Y/N remember. We’re in it for the long game.”

---

Two hours later, they arrived to their rest stop. Everyone practically ran to the bathrooms, while Y/N turned to the left. She stood in a corner, frantically typing on her phone.

He has EDITH and explained everything.

Y/N pushed open the door, to reveal a small wooden room with a pool table. Her eyes darted to Peter with his pants down, in front of a tall European lady who stood still and intimidating. “Y/N! I promise, this isn’t what it looks like!” Her eyes welled with tears and it took everything in her to keep them from streaming. “Well it seems pretty clear from where I’m standing, Parker.” She turned right around, making sure that the door shut loudly. Y/N wiped the tears away, stomping back to the bus and into a seat as far away from him as possible. She didn’t know why she felt jealous or why she was this angry. Peter was her best friend, and they were in no means together on any term. Yet, it felt like it was an unspoken rule between them. Nothing seems to make sense anymore, she thought to herself. Her phone chimed one more time.

Perfect. Don’t let your feelings get in the way.

But it was too late.

---

Y/N had iced Peter out completely. It was better this way, as she knew what would happen in a matter of days. He had tried so hard to talk to her, only for her to walk away or find someone else to talk to. Ned was too lovesick to offer any genuine advice while MJ could have cared less. He had nowhere else to turn to aside from his Aunt May. She wanted more than anything to see the two together ever since they had met, even going out of her way to drop hints to the two kids. His phone continued to ring, before being sent to voicemail. He had almost forgotten about time zones.

---

They arrived to the empty opera house, a few minutes before curtain. His annoyed classmates found their seats, Peter scanning for Y/N in hopes to apologize. He stopped Ned at the door, “Hey where is she?”

“Oh she’s still not feeling well. You messed up big time.” Peter pinched the bridge of his nose, “I know, I was trying to apologize to her but-”

Parker, are you in position? Fury asked. “No.” Ned furrowed his brows as Peter muted his mic. “I gotta go.”

After a grueling fight with the fire elemental, Peter felt drained. Quentin’s eyes fluttered awake before slowly bringing himself to his feet. “Come on, kid. I need a drink.” He staggered to a bar, detaching his cape. “I’m underage!”

---

“I can tell something’s distracting you, kid. What is it?” Peter sipped on what seemed to be his third lemonade of the night. “It’s just that I had this chance with this girl and I kind of blew it.”

“How so?” Quentin took another sip of his drink, resting a bruised arm on the wooden bar. “I’ve known her for a long time and while I was trying on this suit, she walked in and thought something else was happening. Even though it wasn’t, she wouldn’t listen to me!” He paused, lowering his head “I was going to ask her out tonight, too. She’s been ignoring me and that whole mission thing, it’s kind of a mess.”

“You’re right, you did blow it. Well what’s her name?” He chugged the amber liquid in his glass, waiting for him to speak. “Her name is Y/N.”

Quentin’s brows shot up and he drew back. He swore he could have felt his heart stop for a minute. Damn it. “I’m sorry to hear that, Peter. You’re a nice guy, and I think she’ll come around. Just give her some time.” He stated, hoping that he didn’t hear the shakiness in his voice. At that moment, a bartender handed Peter back the glasses which he didn’t even notice were gone.

“Those were just sitting on the ground?”

“Yeah, seems like it.”

“Well try them on!” Peter reluctantly put the glasses on his face, looking back with a little smile. He tried to gage an emotion from the man sitting across from him, but his face was unreadable. “Can I be honest?” Peter nodded. “They look a little dumb.” With a frown, he took them off and handed them to Quentin. “Try them on.”

“I can’t.”

“Try them!” He pushed them up on the bridge of his nose, raising one eyebrow. Peter began to see Tony in him; someone he could trust. “For the next Tony Stark, I trust you.” he muttered.

“What?”

He repeated the same thing, a bit more confident. “Maybe Mr. Stark gave them to me so I can choose who to give it to.”

“Peter, come on. Be serious.” Peter took back the glasses and tapped the side, “Hey, EDITH. Transfer all control to Quentin Beck.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m doing the right thing.”

Any transfer will require confirmation.

“Stark gave you the glasses!”

“Stark gave me a choice, it’s my choice to make and I’m going to make it. Look, you’re a soldier! You stopped the elementals, you saved my life, you saved the world! He’d want you to have them.”

Awaiting confirmation.

“Confirm.”

Knowing that the kid was already too stubborn, Quentin reluctantly took them into his hands. “Thank you, it’s an honor. Now go and enjoy your vacation.” With one last smile, Peter collected his things and went out the door.

---

Y/N neatly folded her clothes back into her suitcase, zipping it up and setting it near the door. She huffed, just wanting to get this whole ordeal over with. The ornate hotel room filled with glimmering decorations and beautiful furniture felt empty, but she shook it off. She knew that she shouldn’t have gotten attached, everyone warned her but she did anyways. The silk curtains billowed in the wind and as Y/N went to close the window, she noticed two familiar figures with a projector piece. Peter and MJ. Shit.

Her phone chimed, a message coming from exactly who she thought it would be.

Got EDITH, meet me at the base. you and i have a lot to talk about.

Y/N bolted down the marble stairs and practically burst through the doors. She started to run, only seeing the faint light of the streetlamps. Minutes later, she heard someone call out her name. “Y/N!” Peter. He stopped her by holding her shoulders, making her face him. His brown eyes were filled with guilt and worry. “I’m so sorry, but you have to listen to me. Wait, I thought you were sick?” A part of her wanted to forgive him; to make everything go back to normal. Distancing herself seemed like the easiest way, but no one told her that it was the most painful way too.

“You’re right, I am sick” she snapped, wriggling out of his grasp. “Sick of you. I have to go.” Her words laced with venom unlike any other rang through his mind as she walked away without looking back.

---

Y/N took a deep breath before opening the doors. She had walked in the midst of their test run. Cloaked drones hovered, playing out a sequence. Quentin had taken notice of her entrance, making them pause. “Sweetheart.”

“Dad,” a bitter tone to her voice, “what do you need this time?”

“I thought we were on the same page. What was the one thing I told you not to do?” He crossed his arms, mirroring his daughter’s movements.

“Let my feelings get in the way.”

“Now imagine hearing that your target is head over heels for your own daughter. Crazy, right?” He looked down to her, eye contact unwavering.

“You don’t have to worry about that anymore.” Her mind drifting to the fight not even moments ago. “He told me everything that happened between the both of you. You’re making this harder for all of us, Y/N. You know, you’re just like your mother. You both let your feelings get the best of you.”

“Sure that I didn’t get it from you?” She stepped past him, only for him to grip onto her forearm. “Y/N you have to understand, I didn’t want to hurt him. Now you’ve left me no choice.”

“What do you mean? We agreed to leave him out of this!” Her voice rising.

He let out a wry laugh, turning away just to look back at her. “Were you not going to tell me that he knew? A projector is missing and both know who has it.” Of course he knew, she never managed to get anything past him.

“Dad, please” she pleaded. Deep down, she felt like a fool. This would have been avoidable, after all. Quentin’s eyes softened, and he pulled her in for a hug. “You know that I only want what’s best for you, right? In fact, I’ve got a brilliant idea and I can’t do it without you.” Her father’s demeanor changed under a split second, and she never knew what was going on in his head. An illusion of his own, she would tell herself. It looked like he was so wrapped up in fooling others with disguises and holograms that he forgot who he truly was. Her father wasn’t always like this, it only started to show years back when he let jealousy dictate his every move.

“What are we making this time?”

“Something tailored for the kid. Maybe these emotions had a silver lining, you know everything that he’s terrified of, right?”

Y/N hated that she continued to fight for him, knowing how many lives he had thrown away, but early on she realized there was no other way out. Quentin’s assistants followed him into the lab to get started on Peter’s nightmare. Y/N lagged behind, looking to the surveillance of Peter finding the drone.

I’m sorry.

--

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[commanderpeggymcgee]

It had been three weeks since Peggy Carter's last encounter with the Special Agent from British Intelligence although it had been a game of cat and mouse between the two. There was only two pieces of the puzzle left. Fourteen of the twenty pages had been accounted for now: Six to America, seven to England, and one that had fallen into an unknown person's hands, presumed to be HYDRA's. Only six pieces remained and Peggy was currently on her way to retrieve the fifteenth.

It had been slow, frustrating work to obtain even the six she had been able to get her hands on. Somehow the tall, dark stranger had gotten there first on a number of occasions and that was something that ate away at the Commander. How did he always know ahead of time where the papers were going to be when she herself had just found out? Was someone playing both sides to see which would get there first? It was impossible to think he had some sort of ESP about the whole ordeal, so Peggy expunged that thought from her mind as quickly as it entered...although it was uncanny...No, no, it must be that their contact was one and the same and was playing them both. And she was determined to get there first.

As she sat in the back of the taxi on her way to another meeting place in the heart of Venice, Italy, Peggy's mind strayed to her annoying adversary. Who was he? Surely with his training he wasn't just British Intelligence. He had to be MI5? Could he be MI6? If only he wasn't so irritating and smug about everything and he didn't have the ridiculous mustache he could actually...possibly be quite...pleasant? Nope, mustn't think of those types of things when you have a mission to complete.

Peggy exited the car a block away from where the meeting was going to take place. Slowly, watchfully, she made her way through the shadows and into the building. It was an old, once beautiful hotel that was currently in the process of undergoing certain repairs to return it to its former glory. As Peggy made her way upstairs to the second floor, she heard something quite unnatural coming from inside one of the rooms. She could hear grunts and glass breaking and thud after thud. Her heart raced faster she inhaled a few times, preparing herself for whatever was inside.

On the count of three, Peggy hurled open the door, flinging a piece of debris at one of the men, hitting him square in the face. As he fell down with a thud, Carter reached for the nail gun that was a few paces away from her, but another man had gotten there first. He aimed at Peggy who had somersaulted over and was now on her back staring up into the enemy's eyes when a shot rang out. He fell to the ground in a heap. Peggy wasted no time in grabbing a wooden board from beside her and upon leaping to her feet, disposed of the other enemy agent with a crack on the back of the head. Not hard enough to kill, just to knock out for a very long time and to give the meanest of headaches to.

Panting, Peggy reached for her gun and aimed it at the scraping sound that resonated behind her.

❝ Don't shoot! Don't shoot, it's only me. ❞ Said the voice of none other than the special agent from British Intelligence. He looked absolutely ridiculous hiding behind the pillar, his hands raised out in front of him as if she'd actually shoot him..........

❝ You again! Why do you keep popping up everywhere I turn?! ❞ She exclaimed, lowering the gun to her side.

❝ I could ask you the same thing, Commander. You're becoming a real pest you know that? ❞ He said, straightening up and fixing his tie.

❝ I'm becoming a pest? What about you?! ❞ She exclaimed incredulously.

❝ I was here first, so how can I be the pest? ❞

❝ Yes, and doing a fine job at that. You'll be happy to know that had this pest not have shown up you'd be a very dead special agent. ❞

❝ Yes, I suppose you do need something to brag about considering had you actually been on time none of this would've happened in the first place. ❞

❝ Had I been on time?! I was on time! I was told to be here at three sharp and I was here exactly at three. ❞

❝ Well see, I was invited here at two forty-five so technically, you're late. ❞

❝ Well I can't help that now can I? Not everyone can be a mind reader. ❞ She sighed, rolling her eyes. Good Lord this man could try the patience of even the most calmest of souls...How she didn't shoot him right then and there she didn't know.

❝ Is that what you think I am? I'm terribly flattered. ❞ He said, now standing right in front of her. He gazed down upon Peggy with a warm smile. His blue eyes roamed over Peggy's features. It was the first time he had been able to do so and he had to admit...he wasn't at all disappointed. ❝ All joking aside, Commander, I am extremely thankful to you for saving my life. You may even get an award for this from the Queen if I wasn't a secret agent who's identity can't be shown in public. But just remember how much England is now in your debt. ❞

❝ Can't you ever be serious about anything? ❞ Peggy groaned as she took a step back. His gaze was unnerving her slightly and she wanted to put some distance between them.

❝ Why? The world is such a serious place, as is our profession. Why not interject some humour into it? What does it hurt? ❞ He asked innocently as he watched her move away.

❝ Well...how...how do we figure out who gets the papers this time? I'd really rather not fight you over it again. ❞ Peggy said, her words stumbling out of her lips as she caught him staring out of the corner of her eye.

❝ Yes, so uncivilised. I thank you for putting that little paperclip just barely out of reach in my breast pocket last time. That was cute, real cute. You've no idea what I had to do to get out of those. ❞

❝ Did you like that? I thought you would considering you left me in the middle of the woods with a knife and a gun just out of reach. You know I could've been attacked by some wild animal out there and no one every would've been the wiser about it? ❞

❝ See, that's where you're wrong. I wouldn't have left you out there had there actually have been wild animals. No, I checked up on that region on my flight over and I found that the only wild animals in that particular spot were some bunnies. So unless you're frightened of Bugs Bunny you hadn't a thing to be scared about. ❞

❝ I should've known you were an expert on the wildlife in the Black Forest. And I wasn't scared. Never mind. Let's just...move on, okay? ❞ She remarked, rubbing her tired eyes.

❝ Deal. You know I think it's high time we work together. I think we make a smashing team. ❞ He grinned.

❝ Do you? ❞ Peggy returned, raising a brow.

❝ Don't you? ❞

❝ Well considering we've made fools of each other the first two times we met and we still don't know each other's names and we get on each other's nerves, AND we're from different agencies, I don't see how a partnership could ever work. ❞

❝ Well, that was just childish agency rivalry on our first two meetings. As for names...My name is Griffin. Damion Griffin. MI6. And you are? ❞ He asked expectantly, his arms folded behind his back with an impish grin upon his lips.

❝ Carter, Peggy Carter. Freelance agent. Former member of SHIELD. ❞

❝ You're THE Peggy Carter? The one from all the stories? ❞ Damion asked incredulously.

❝ The one and only. I'm flattered you've heard of me. ❞

❝ Who hasn't? It's an honour, Carter. ❞

❝ Well, you'll be pleased to know that I've heard of you as well. A very impressive resume might I add. Now, let us get back to the matter at hand. Who gets the papers? ❞

❝ Why not both of us? ❞

❝ How can we both get them? ❞

❝ There is such a thing as making a copy, Carter, I thought you'd have known that? ❞ Damion quipped playfully.

❝ I have, actually. But have you ever heard of taking a photograph of it? Works wonders and saves times and eliminates any mistakes you might make in the transfer. ❞

❝ Good idea! Who gets the original then? ❞

❝ I do because I suggested the plan. Deal? ❞

❝ Oh, fine. It's a deal. ❞ Peggy held the papers out for Damion to take a picture of, then folded them up and placed them in the briefcase he had brought with him.

❝ Until we meet again, Peggy Carter. ❞ He said with a charming smile that Peggy would never in a million years admit made her heart flutter ever so slightly. ❝ Hopefully it's under more pleasant circumstances. ❞

❝ Yes. Meeting over dead bodies is growing rather tiresome. Good luck on your hunt. Maybe the better agent win. ❞ She returned, letting a side smile slip before turning and disappearing through the door.

Damion had watched her every move, his eyes following her as she left the room which now felt cold and ordinary again. There was something about Peggy that he liked...he liked a lot and he hoped that they would see each other again. Maybe he'd have to talk to his superiors about a partnership...

✥ Credit to me ✥

★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★

⚜ ~ ❝ Cσмρяσмιѕє ωнєяє уσυ cαn. ωнєяє уσυ cαn’t, dσn’t. Eνєn ιf єνєяуσnє ιѕ tєℓℓιng уσυ thαt ѕσмєthιng ωяσng ιѕ ѕσмєthιng яιgнt. Eνєn ιf tнє ωнσℓє ωσяℓ∂ ιѕ tєℓℓιng уσυ tσ мσνє, ιt ιѕ уσυя dυtу tσ ρℓαnt уσυяѕєℓf ℓιкє α tяєє, ℓσσк αt thєм ιn thє єуєѕ, αnd ѕαу, ‘Nσ, YOU мσνє.’ ❞ ~ ⚜

[jerseydeanne]

DM comments Best of Part 2

Best part 2 New698 gammagirl80, london, United Kingdom, 8 hours ago Before she went public with Harry MM had been shown in interviews multiple times talking about her father in a positive light (antidotes, stories, memories, etc). If she’s harbored such resentment since childhood or even early adulthood she wouldn’t have talked about him at all. The isolation from her father (and other friends) appears to have started in 2016. (Replies) New1842798 LittleMsJones, Villefranche, France, 7 hours ago Exactly, it’s because she didn’t want those around her to let it slip who she was and her salacious past. She can’t hide forever, it’s only a matter of time before the real truth comes out and the RF kick her to the kerb. New46649

Rowan, Imladris, 7 hours ago In 2017 she was still pushing this daddy’s girl narrative. The fallout only started after he realised he was about to be cut off after not receiving a wedding invitation. New26589 Sfm001, Wolves, United Kingdom, 7 hours ago She mad her father is risking her meal ticket nothing more. She has no reason not to call her father and not talk about anything other than how they both are. New22415 JS, Somerset, United Kingdom, 7 hours ago She does not want daddy telling the truth about her age or past to Harry. New30468 Heresathought, Southwest, United States, 7 hours ago She was just trying to fool everyone…making it look like she cared so Harry would not think less of her. Now that she is married he is history. New18397 Babe, In Belgium, 7 hours ago My parents did awful things when I was young. However it’s not something I usually mention to people whose business it is not. In fact I find that most people just can’t comprehend what narcissus are capable of so it s better not to mention it. Narcissus are best ignored. Any attention you give them encourages them. Tom and Sam being a case in point. Nothing will shut them up ever. MM is not at fault here. I am sure Hurry was well aware of the situation. New299125 LoveThisLife, Southeast Seashore U.S., United States, 7 hours ago Yes. Started in 2016. So she would not lose Harry. Very convenient timing! New18370 chanceska , No Where Near , United States, 6 hours ago Babe. I totally understand that. But I’ve never fawned over my narcissist family members in public or on social media, like Megan did, either. So she was either lying before about how great her dad was, or she’s lying now. New16386 Curlylocks, Northern Virginia, United States, 6 hours ago It sounds like he was the custodial parent who paid for most of her schooling. That alone should have earned him some measure of gratitude. Surely she can talk to him without telling him anything important. New11303 Korova Milk Bar, Somewhere, United Kingdom, 6 hours ago Babe, I’m sorry that you had a rough upbringing. THat makes you empathetic to others that you think are in the same situation as you, feeling the same way as you. I think you are projecting a lot of your own experiences onto Meghan and this debacle. Bottom line, we dont’ know what Meghan’s situation really is, we can only go off how she professed great love and admiration for her father for years until she married Harry. Combine this with her history of dumping people and dogs that can’t get her ahead, and I can assure you, the sole problem is not Thomas Markle. I think Meghan brings her fair share to this mess as well. New18267 sam my, Westworld, Togo, 6 hours ago But, she was a Daddies girl all those years, and now all of a sudden she can’t be bothered…. any father would be hurt by this treatment. He is only going to the outlet available to him, the media. Was Doria ever mentioned on Tig? New16383 Myrtile, london, 6 hours ago chanceska, either way, she’s a liar. New16238 sweetsexything, vancouver, Canada, 5 hours ago We totally understand the whole story! Meghan presents herself as loving daughter to the media. And now, she’s bagged the gold, Meghans manipulative, liar, fake face comes out - “he is better dead” It would have been easier if Meghan is truth to herself… but she lies. She alyways lies! Everything about her are all lies. New17234 sweetsexything, vancouver, Canada, 5 hours ago My favourite lies are “I didn’t know much about the Royal Family” lol. Is she kidding us? She was always in and out of London thus it says she knows Britain cultures. What about the “I’ don’t want to be a lady that lunches” Lol. Meghan who presents herself as hardworking is not working anymore.“ He isvery sexist, always talking about women as if they are pieces of meat.” And yet Meghan shows up at Craig’s interview and acts like she is a piece of meat “touch me! I’m really hairless” New17271 Iseult, North Coast NI, United Kingdom, 4 hours ago Most people aren’t stupid enough to be fooled by this latest version of the Meghan/father relationship. The truth is she was praising him for all sorts of things until she met Harry, then he was cut out of her life, no more mention of being a Daddy’s girl, something she’d said she was in an interview that’s still on YouTube. Some people want to help her rewrite the narrative, but anyone with a grain of sense can see the timing of when she decided to dump him and her other relatives, including those who’d helped her in the past. Harry is a complete fool not to be able to see this for himself, or maybe he’s such a snob he really wants to persuade people she has no family of her own so he doesn’t have to meet them. How the two of them ever thought they’d get away with a twisted untrue version of events that’s flatly contradicted by every word she uttered about her father in the past I don’t know. Harry really has sunk lower than I could ever have imagined possible. New9153 Lauren, Australia, 3 hours ago Agree, just shows how much cr-p she is full of. New10147 PATRICIA, memphis, United States, 3 hours ago @gammagirl… “antidotes”?, don’t you mean “anecdotes”?

New654 Sam, Denver CO, 8 hours ago The only person I feel sorry for in all this drama is the Queen. She does not deserve this. (Replies) New2192355 D63, Greenville, United States, 8 hours ago True, but she could have put a stop to it, or at least insisted Harry and MeAgain live a private life. New23587 purplevalues, South East, United Kingdom, 7 hours ago I think it would be up to Charles to insist that Harry and Meghan take a back seat role. I don’t think he will do that, as it would be tantamount to admitting that we don’t actually NEED minor royals to cut ribbons at all. New10261 Babe, In Belgium, 7 hours ago Words can’t express how pathetic this comment is… You feel sorry for the Queen. Presumptuous Much?! Lady Di, Fergie, Charles & Camilla…. The RF is a shambles and you think the Queen has naught to do with It? She rules that household like Maggi Thatcher. Every royal house of Europe has passed the torch to the next heir…. Except England. New66159 JS, Somerset, United Kingdom, 7 hours ago Did our queen really take tea with an ex convict? was Doria not vetted by security services beforehand? New24263 zip it44, Markham, Canada, 7 hours ago Then the Queen should do something about this. Quick. New10219 neolang, London, United Kingdom, 6 hours ago The Queen is praised for not being too open with her views and forceful against people she may find unpleasant.t She tries not to interfere too often in drama or political issues. When she does make a comment, it’s usually very concise but passionate such as when she described the Manchester attack as “wicked” but left it as that. New4104 Tiny CO2, Warrington, United Kingdom, 6 hours ago The Queen might be cross but she doesn’t need sympathy. And no, it’s none of her business so she shouldn’t interfere. After all, few can know more about how the press operates. Most people have no idea that this is going on and even more don’t care. New1160 Monalisa Oak, London, United Kingdom, 6 hours ago She had suffered for almost sixteen years from 1981 to 1997 by certain unpredictable new comer to Ryal Family blaming them - the members of RF - and pretending to be a victim before she disappeared overnight. Now another episode has just begun, I do feel for 92 years old lady, though I am a royalist. New1974 sam my, Westworld, Togo, 6 hours ago The queen is the ultimate power in that family, sure she is old, but still has them in line. Look how they act around her to see that. She should have insisted that Harry and Meg live quiet lives, but they wanted to rebrand themselves as the new Humanitarians, and now this fiasco is going on, and will for years it seems. New12293 Myrtile, london, 6 hours ago The Queen might have left the throne to her heir like other regents but Charles is not really someone you want as King. New45177 Tuneful, Silver Spring MD, United States, 4 hours ago I hope he (PC) is growing a pair, because this is out of control. It appears he has asked that she leave one party early so far. He better reign in her out-of-control spending and those expensive jaunts abroad every week or two. No matter how much they try to sell her, people aren’t buying. New8139 WeAreAmused, Venice, United States, 4 hours ago Markles taking potshots at one another across the Atlantic is as pointless as the original “Guns of August” leading up to WWI. If KP/BP doesn’t defuse this soon, it’s going to be just as unpredictably destructive for all the parties involved. Where are the adults in the room? New677 cindymae, blairsville US, United States, 3 hours ago The Queen approved it" New523 LightDweller, Bournemouth, United Kingdom, 3 hours ago The Queen agreed to this mess. She has poor judgement. New990 The View From Here, Gold Coast, Australia, 3 hours ago JS….The Queen has taken tea with more ex convicts and dubious characters than you’ve had hot dinners. Mugabe, Assad and Tony Blair for a start. New762 ToTheMoon79, New York, United States, 1 hour ago She allowed this! New222 Janet Mayhem, LA, United States, 11 minutes ago The Queen can end all of this whenever she pleases.

New00 melissa612, Minneapolis, United States, 8 hours ago She doesn’t want him talking to the press but it’s ok if she does? Pot? Meet kettle. (Replies) New3372231 ThatChickYouDontLike, NY, United States, 8 hours ago She didn’t say anything , DM made up a source as usual and you fall for the lie as usual. New236228 LittleMsJones, Villefranche, France, 8 hours ago No, she just got her friends to. New69271 ThatChickYouDontLike, NY, United States, 8 hours ago I’m honestly not going to debate the stupidity of believing anything published by the DM. They have consistently proven themselves to be reporting fabrication, let’s not forget the wedding dress etc, yet people still think that THIS paper is the bastion of truth and ethical reporting. New74154 Betterworld22, Somewhere, United States, 7 hours ago Who believes this BS from a “source” I thought the dm said Meghan does not have any friends. Give it a rest. I bet with Meghan and Harry on holiday the dm will have a lot of information from their imaginary sources. Got to keep the haters satisfied. New8698 Nomdeplume, melbourne, 7 hours ago Honestly, I am no fan but why do people believe a story that has ‘source’ or a 'close friend’ in the story and then blah blah blah for the rest of the story. New47129 silverlight, Bristol, United Kingdom, 7 hours ago She said it because it’s the only thing she can say if she wants to salvage even a shred of her tawdry reputation. New36195 teadream, taipei, Taiwan, 7 hours ago DM said so. She doesn’t say anything. New5852 Tiny CO2, Warrington, United Kingdom, 6 hours ago 'blathering’ is an odd word for an anonymous friend of American Meghan to attribute to her. It can’t be… it can’t be made up could it? Or just repeating gossip from a friend of a friend of someone who spoke to her once? New2050 Monalisa Oak, London, United Kingdom, 6 hours ago Low life family joining British Royal Family to bring down the monarchy soon. New1283 pianochick86, LA, United States, 6 hours ago Her “friends” can also blab to the media all they want as long as they flatter her and kiss her behind. New12154 sam my, Westworld, Togo, 6 hours ago Does anyone know how the so called media in the UK works? You are not allowed to malign the RF, they can shut you down! So this article is with KP and BP approval. COUNT ON IT. Is how they guage their popularity from month to month. It is about perception, not reality, I have been saying this for months about this so called royal family. New20120 Augusta T Bigfoot, Louisiana, United States, 5 hours ago Meghan used her father’s Hollywood connections to get in to the business and then dumped after she nabbed Harry. By the way her father was a gaffer not a gafter. Little research DM New20166 Blue, Here, 5 hours ago Sammy, there have been countless articles and books over the years maligning the RF. They weren’t shut down or bumped off. People seem to have strange ideas about the supposed power of the royals. New1941 MOR, Jackson, United States, 4 hours ago The “friends” here are obviously Palace PR. New339 It matters, Dublin, Ireland, 3 hours ago This is a deliberate press 'leak’ from the palace aimed at damage limitation. New6116 T Time, London, United Kingdom, 3 hours ago People will believe anything when they don’t like the person in question. I’ve noticed that a lot with DM commenters

[feisty-mary]

Reasons Why Marrying William Sloan Is the Best Decision of Your Life (Part 2)

Wow, Part 1 made me realize that there are more people who romanced Mr. Sloan than I originally thought! I just have to say, congratulations on your good taste in men. ;)

To those who have expressed interest in replaying the books to choose this sexy businessman, DO IT! YOU WON’T REGRET IT. Mr. Sloan is a total sweetheart who will sweep you off your feet and raise your expectations of partners so high it’s practically a crime.

Notes.

- From this point on I’ll refer to the businessman as Mr. Sloan, as he is more familiarly known.

- Read Part 1 before proceeding with this part. They both cover the first book, and most points are interconnected.

—————————————————————————

4.      Book 1, Chapter 3. During their date in Venice, Mr. Sloan takes MC to Ristorante Oliviero for the best Italian food in the city. Without asking MC, he orders for her.

MC readily calls him out on it. “excuse u?? I can speak for myself and vote and own land and open a checking account? why are you bossing me around like I wanna choke on your dick??? oh wait”

Mr. Sloan is unfazed, although he tells MC to trust him in this particular instance. We let it go begrudgingly, although to be fair, the food he orders turns out to be amazing. 

You have to admit, this kind of behavior on your first date raises a lot of red flags. Who wants to be in a relationship with a guy who decides for you without your permission? 

To make sense of this, we fast forward to Book 1, Chapter 11, where something similar happens. Here Mr. Sloan returns to the cruise ship for his second date with MC. Honestly at this point I’m not even complaining because he flies back to her as soon as he can just to take her to Paris for a date?? 

Admittedly, he surprises her under the assumption that MC will readily agree/has nothing planned for the rest of the day herself. (Although, to be fair, surprises do have a way of ruining your own plans. That’s kind of the point!)

Here we’re given the option to tell him that he can’t expect us to leave for the Paris trip at a moment’s notice. A good option, too, since we’re trying to be as lowkey thirsty as possible we get to remind him that respect for each other’s time is kind of a thing. Besides, if you’re going to start a relationship with someone you might as well establish a list of acceptable and unacceptable bullshit between the two of you early on, right?

When MC calls him out, his reaction is surprising; he looks positively contrite. The panels above show him acknowledging his mistake, his tone completely different from when we first call him out in Book 1, Chapter 3. What’s more, he inadvertently reveals that he’s been listening to MC, after all, particularly about that advice to “let loose”. We don’t see him dance until Book 1, Chapter 18 (refer to reason 3 in Part 1), but it is clear even at this point how he’s making an attempt to match MC’s adventurousness and spend more time with her.

Just to put that in perspective, it’s useful to remember that he’s a CEO. In that particular line of work there is very little room for anything messes with plans, blueprints, and established timelines. That he is willing to make time for MC despite his busy schedule (because those meetings were probably scheduled months in advance and rescheduling them would be hell) says something about how much he must really consider being with her as his priority.

What I really want to underscore is how these separate chapters show us Mr. Sloan’s learning curve when it comes to romancing MC - and it’s clear he learns pretty darn fast. I had misgivings about his reaction to us calling him out on his take-charge attitude in Book 1, Chapter 3 but I like how it seems to have been deliberately written that way so we can see how he learns from it several chapters later.

He gets even better at it by the time we reach Book 2, Chapter 16, the night when he proposes to MC for the second time. He surprises her when he shows up at Nomade, and what do you know, this time he directly asks if she has plans for the evening before inviting her to Casablanca.

Did you see that? Yes, that’s character development.

5.      Because Mr. Sloan is simply the best kind of life partner anyone can possibly ask for. Book 1 Chapter 18 reveals a lot about what we can expect from him as MC’s husband. As I’ve pointed out in reason 1 of Part 1, one of the things I really like about him is his foresight and how it always comes into play even in his relationship with MC, consistent with his work as an investor. He’s always thinking long term.

One of the ways the conversation with Mr. Sloan in this chapter is so distinctively him is that he doesn’t talk much about feelings anymore. That’s not to say he doesn’t reiterate them, because he does, at least in the beginning. But they don’t take up most of the things that’s said between him and MC.

What do they talk about, though? Well, they talk about important questions in relationships, like where they will live in the future and what MC thinks of having kids (in fact, this surprises MC herself, as shown in the panels below). Perhaps not everyone will agree with me on this, but the way I see it is that this man is already absolutely certain of what he feels for MC. As far as he’s concerned, the dating phase is done, which is why he’s already set that aside and moved on to the next one: planning their future together. Whatever MC’s misgivings might be, it’s clear at this point that Mr. Sloan has given their relationship some pretty serious consideration.

It’s also worth noting that when MC asks him what he thinks their future will look like, he tells her that she can tell him what she wants and he will just make them come true. 

In Book 2, Chapter 8, he even goes as far as asking her, “hypothetically speaking”, where his next vacation house should be located. 

Going back to reason 4 above makes it easier to see how Mr. Sloan’s character develops - he changes from someone who will make MC’s dietary choices for her to someone who looks at her as a partner with whom he can plan a future life together. It’s these small things, these subtle changes in his words and actions that tell us he’s been paying attention and learning from his interaction with MC. That perhaps their time together has actually changed him, and as cliche as it sounds, maybe even changed him for the better. 

6.      Mr. Sloan owns a winery. That’s literally it; who the hell turns down someone who owns a goddamn winery? Oh, and by the way? He names a bottle of wine after MC.

7.      Because he knows his priorities, and it’s MC above anything else. In Book 2, Chapter 9, Rashad, Mr. Sloan’s very own best friend, warns MC that there’s a very big price to pay in being in a relationship with a CEO. 

As hostile as Rashad delivers his warning, he makes a very valid point. Book 2, Chapter 9 perfectly underscores this when MC asks Mr. Sloan to go back to bed with her but he sadly turns her down, telling her he has to prepare for another business trip.

Before the chapter draws to a close, MC considers this silently, wondering if Rashad is right for warning her after all.

Surprisingly enough, in Book 2, Chapter 17, we see Mr. Sloan bite the bullet and very openly discuss Rashad’s thoughts on his relationship with MC. 

I admit I did not see this coming; I thought it would be one of the things they’d conveniently overlook to give some sort of disadvantage to a potential relationship with Mr. Sloan. I mean, at least give the other suitors a fighting chance, Mr. Sloan?? lmao~

True to his nature as a businessman who most likely considers all angles of a particular negotiation before proceeding, Mr. Sloan talks to MC about his work-life balance and asks her what she thinks of it. 

We try to be subtle about it, but suddenly Mr. Sloan says these magic words: “Consider it gone.”

Even MC does a double-take. Because… well, he can’t do that! He can’t just set aside his businesses for MC! Excuse me?? That’s like… totally sweet and romantic I cannot believe?????

I swear I didn’t cry. Maybe.

8.      Because his proposals are so on point! Mr. Sloan proposed twice to my MC Alyanna because I’ve been loyal to him since the first book hahaha. Let me just spend some time on these proposals because they’re both beautiful and so well-thought-out.

Book 1, Chapter 19. First proposal.

I didn’t realize this until I was almost done with this list, but all the points I’ve listed up until now are mentioned and/or alluded to in his marriage proposal. I don’t want to gloat (who am I kidding, I totally do), but I can say with 100% confidence that our businessman’s first marriage proposal is the best of them all. 

For example, he gather’s MC’s family members to witness the whole thing. One of the key themes in Rules of Engagement is family, and the first book does a good job at letting us see the strong bond between the four siblings. This being said, I thought it was very smart and thoughtful of Mr. Sloan to call them to witness what is arguably one of the most significant moments in MC’s life. It appears he knows what’s important to MC and he considers them important to him, too.

He also talks about how being with her has changed him, particularly about him dancing, as I’ve discussed in Part 1. In the left panel below, he mentions how MC makes him laugh, but also that she calls him out, unlike other people who appear to be intimidated by “Mr. Sloan from magazines”. I found this to be a nice touch; it gives the feeling that we’ve gone full circle and the time spent with him really helped build up their relationship.

The (intended?) symbolism is a nice, touch, too - Mr. Sloan proposes in the same place where he first met MC. If we go back to Book 1, Chapter 2, his very own words on the night they meet is “I’m not proposing that we get engaged. I just want to take you out for a romantic night. No strings attached.” Funny how he comes to propose many chapters later, at the very same restaurant and to the very same woman whom he once said those words to.

This is equal parts adorable and amusing.

In the left panel above, Mr. Sloan recalls the unfortunate (but absolutely hilarious) mix-up during his date with MC in Paris. It’s funny because you can tell he’s been thinking about that little mishap since it happened, and yes, his thoughts all along must have been, “Holy shit that was very embarrassing I swear I will never do that in my life.”

And yet here he is, several weeks (?) later, proposing in front of MC’s family and friends and possibly other people from the cruise. And you know what? He does it anyway. He braves his embarrassment and his discomfort anyway, because he’s decided that it’s okay, because it makes him the happiest, too.

It’s also interesting how he says, “Now, I’d like to put myself out here on a limb for once.” If we want to be very technical about it, “putting someone out on a limb” means “being in a dangerous position” or “doing something risky”. Well, okay, you say. Proposing is inherently risky, isn’t it, because there’s always a chance you’ll get turned down? Mr. Sloan is just acknowledging that fact.

Except, you have to remember he’s a businessman. Taking risks is literally what he does for a living. And if his wealth is any indication, he’s a very successful risk-taker. I actually interpret this as a very subtle way of him telling us how compared to closing business deals, he considers proposing to MC as probably one of the riskiest things he has ever done in his life hahaha.

Book 2, Chapter 17. Second proposal.

I was kidding; of course both of Mr. Sloan’s proposals to MC are better than the others! ;) If anything, his proposal in the Sahara is even better than his first one, because not only does he mention the moments they share together, he also mentions the times they don’t - and how even those form part of the reasons why he wants to spend the rest of his life with MC.

The four panels above show just how much MC has changed him, and I adore it.

But, of course, just to be fair to Mr. Sloan, we tell him this isn’t necessary. My MC isn’t here to impose anything on him, so she tells him he doesn’t have to change for her. He gives what is arguably the best response, as shown in the panels below.

Thank you, Mr. Sloan, for wanting to be that person who will dance with me in my lame black dress in a piazza in Venice. *wipes tears*

The rest of his proposal is absolutely magic, just like how he sees MC in his life.

I told myself I would let the panels above speak for themselves but ohmygod can we just acknowledge how much punch they pack because you can definitely tell that Mr. Sloan is speaking from the heart. This is exactly their love story. It’s a simple tale of two people finding someone whom they can dance in a piazza with, whom they constantly think about even when they’re far apart, and whom they’ll willingly make sacrifices for, because they put them as priority above all others.

It’s not all that complicated, but then again whoever said the best love stories need to be? ;)

BONUS!

9.     This isn’t exactly a reason but I just wanted to add that Mr. Sloan planned the second proposal for weeks! Planning is his thing, okay, he’s good at that and he has plenty of money to show for it lmao. Here’s his hella cute reaction when we point this out (MC: “You’ve been planning this for weeks?”).

Dear @ god just please let me marry him already??

Also hey isn’t it funny that Mr. Sloan proposed to us in the Sahara? ahahahaha was our thirst that obvious?????

—————————————————————————

Okay, that’s it, folks! This took a while but I hope you enjoyed this because I did! Thanks for reading and please don’t hesitate to shoot me a holler if you wanna squeal about Mr. Sloan! ;)

[melonscantelope]

Day 20–Barcelona, Gaudi tour

So for those of you that don’t know, I came to Barcelona pretty much exclusively to see all of Gaudi’s stuff, and figured I’d just fill in the rest when I got there. So these next few days are gonna be a lot of me gushing over Gaudi. I started the morning with free hostel breakfast and then geared up for the gaudi walking tour.

The tour met up in Plaza real, under lampposts that Gaudi had designed when he was young and commissioned by the city. They took him two years to make, and when done, the city tried to get a two for the price of one deal out of Gaudi which he wasn’t really into. At that point he began working for wealthy clients instead.

Our next stop was just across La Rambla, a central street with markets/food/kiosks down the middle of it. This building was a an apartment building he’d been commissioned to design. When it was first created, the Phoenix wasn’t present, and people called it the most beautiful building they’d ever seen. This apparently annoyed Gaudi so he livened the building up a bit.

I love the curvy ironwork and refusal to have a completely straight line.

And here’s this awesome Phoenix, adding some weird to the building.

After that we got on the metro and got out near Casa Batllo, probably the most famous of Gaudi’s buildings. There are no straight lines in the building becasue as he said, “there are no straight lines in nature” and his work was inspired by nature.

Funny story. So the location of casa batllo is on one of the really rich streets, and at the time, rixh people were commisioning architects to build beuatiful and grandiose buildings. A rival architect built this beautiful building and everyone said, thats it. The most beautiful building ever has been created.

And Gaudi wasnt too keen on that, so right next door he created the masterpiece that is casa batllo

And he did it in only two years, which is absolutely crazy. There’s a couple of thoughts as to why it looks the way it does. Some people think the exterior was inspired by the carnival in Venice that Gaudi liked to attend, and the balconies look like the masks of the dancers and the colors on the walls is confetti being thrown down.

Another interpretation is the story of Saint George and the dragon. The roof looks so much like a dragons back, and just behind the tree in a tower topped with a cross, that could be the sword on Saint George stabbing the dragon in the back, and the colorful mosaic running down the wall is the dragons blood. From which the rest of the building flourishes.

I like both interpretations and also just love how the columns look like bones and the balconies like skulls. It’s such an amazing building I’m pretty sure I was grinning ear to ear the whole time I was looking up at it.

Our next stop was casa milla, another of Gaudi’s commissioned buildings, that st the time everyone thought was really ugly. And to be fair, in comparison with casa batllo, it doesn’t look like nearly as much, but it’s still amazing.

All the balconies are made out of reclaimed metal–Gaudi was one of the first architects to work with recycled material–so far ahead of his time. Most of the mosaic work he does in Casa Batllo is also just junk ceramic that he repurposed.

Funny story about Casa Milla. So there’s one column that protrudes onto the sidewalk, and the city told Gaudi he couldn’t put it there. And he said he didn’t care and he could do what he wanted. And the city said no, you have to remove it. And Gaudi said fine, but I’m not going to do. So the city workers showed up to remove it and as they were about to carve into it, Gaudi said, you know, if you take that out, some of the rest of the building might collapse. And the city said, well will it? And Gaudi just kinda said maybe and acted ambivalent, so the city told him they would take him to court on it, and he said fine. They took him to court, and it went up though multiple courts until it reached the Supreme Court, where Milla worked as a justice. And so in the shortest court decision ever, Gaudi was given permission to build onto the sidewalk because “it would be a cultural and historical hallmark”.

All this for one column that protrudes a meter onto the sidewalk. Nowadays it’s a myth that if you touch the column you will come back to Barcelona. Also, you can kind of see through the window, the ceiling is sculpted to look kind of like sand dunes; it’s very beautiful.

Our next and final stop was the Sagrada Familia.

Despite being under construction it was still amazing. The nativity facade is much more ornate and classical, Gaudi constructed this side first to reassure the people that their money would be going towards something truly grand. The figures are extremely realistic; Gaudi wasn’t a master sculptor, he just used to go to the morgue and create plaster casts from cadavers. As construction continued, Gaudi knew that he wouldn’t live to see the completion of the Sagrada Familia, so he spent 25 years drawing up blueprints of how he wanted every single inch of the cathedral to look, inside and out. After his death, Spain was invaded and the invaders attempted to burn down the Sagarada Familia. While they were unsuccessful at that, they did destroy the blueprints, so we will never see the Sagrada the way Gaudi imagined it. Which makes me really sad. By this point a lot of architects had been commissioned to continue his work, and much of the original plans were recreated from memory, but there’s also a lot lost to history.

The passion facade opposite the nativity facade is extremely bare by comparison. It was created after Gaudis death, but it was his wish that it express the pain through starkness. The columns look like strained muscles, and above this picture are white columns reminiscent of ribs. The church is very alive. The sculptor who created this actually included the face of Gaudi in the passion, opposite of Christ with the cross. It was interesting choice–Gaudi would have hated it, he never included himself in works. He is also buried in the cathedral, in the crypt, ironically, the only part never designed by him, and that he hated.

After the tour, Ayaka, Janneth, Gonzalo and I went for lunch together (I met them on the tour).

We headed down to the beach after that and spent a couple hours relaxing there before getting gelato and heading back to the hostel. Ayaka, Janneth, and I went on the pub crawl later that night which was a really good time.

[bewitching-elizabeth-olsen]

Press/Gallery: Aubrey Plaza and Elizabeth Olsen Sound Off on Hollywood, Dark Humor and the Pitfalls of Instagram

    W MAGAZINE – id-way through Ingrid Goes West, the so-called “Instagram” movie that premiered to rave reviews at the Sundance Film Festival in January and will finally hit theaters on Friday, Aubrey Plaza, mid-carpool karaoke—and to K-Ci & JoJo, no less—shoots a glance at Elizabeth Olsen that sticks with you long past the credits. It’s a look of equal parts envy, lust, desperation, and infatuation—in a word, it’s unhinged. And it’s what makes Ingrid Goes West one of the summer’s most captivating movies.

  In the film, Plaza plays the titular Ingrid, a fragile and arguably deranged twenty-something who finds her calling after the death of her mother. In her copious free time she turns to Instagram to pass the hours, stumbling upon what will soon become an all-encompassing obsession: Olsen’s Taylor Sloane, a seemingly perfect, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, California-living, avocado toast-loving Instagram star. And so Ingrid goes West, to meet Taylor and get a piece of that social media bliss for herself. As you might guess, hijinks ensue—both slapstick for the Millennial set (at one point Plaza attempts to diffuse an awkward situation by screaming “I brought rosé!”, and it works) and unexpectedly dark (blackmail; attempted murder).

  The relationship between Ingrid and Taylor is a tenuous one, powered by iPhone battery life and Valencia filters that, like Ingrid’s gaze, will leave you feeling uneasy. Plaza and Olsen IRL, however, is another story. Nine months after the film’s Sundance debut, and countless photo ops (including one particularly ingenious red carpet ‘who wore it better’ moment), late night interviews, and yes, Instagram posts, the pair has an easy rapport, fueled by a similarly quiet wit and general affection for their joint project. Sitting together on a secluded bench just outside a bustling photo studio, the pair frequently broke off a conversation about the film for quick asides and playful bickering among themselves (and, no, Plaza does not hate Girls Trip). It was all-too-easy to just sit back and passively observe, à la Ingrid scrolling through Taylor’s feed—albeit, hopefully in a much less creepy fashion. Here, the pair talks about their new film, embracing social media, and the specificity of Los Angeles vocal fry.

  How did you first find this project?

Aubrey Plaza: I was sent the script through my agent. He got his hands on it really fast, and I kind of knew the director and writer [Matt Spicer] socially, so I reached out to him on my own and got together with him. I was just very aggressive about it. I just loved the script. It’s a beautifully written script. It’s very specific, and I thought it was so rare to have a story from one character’s perspective. I liked the subject matter, also, and thought it was really timely and a really beautiful human story, but also a great commentary on what’s happening right now with social media and society.

  Elizabeth Olsen: I had a friend who mentioned [the movie] to me and said, “There is this movie called Ingrid Goes West and if you hear about it, I think it’s really funny and I said that you’d be great for it.’ And then three months later, it came in with a pile of other scripts to my agent and manager, and they were like, “We’ll read this.” And I was like, “I’m going to read it too!” Then I read it and was like, “I’m going to do it!” I don’t know if everyone who read it would get the humor until they saw it, but I got it. I was like, “This is brilliant.” My favorite movies growing up were weird films that were a little off, like Heathers or Death Becomes Her or Return to Oz.

  AP: It does have an old school, cult classic vibe to it.

  EO: It has a dark, cult classic-y feel, and that’s why I loved it.

  Had you met before filming?

  EO: No. Actually—yes, once.

  AP: In a shop. The General Store.

  EO: The Mohalk General Store in Silver Lake, and you were on crutches.

  AP: I was just shopping with my friends.

  EO: And I knew one of your friends, and we all met. Then that was it. But that was a long time ago.

  AP: I guess we both have the same taste.

  EO: Maybe. I was in there first.

  Aubrey, were there any fictional characters that you looked to to help you tap into the mind of Ingrid?

  AP. There were definitely movies that we thought of, at least tonally. [Martin Scorsese’s] King of Comedy was a big one; just the idea of having that person who is obsession-worthy. But there weren’t any specifics characters.

  Elizabeth, in the film your character is a big Instagram influencer, and I read that director Matt Spicer made a fake Instagram account for you to help get into the mindset of a social media star.

  EO: He did. The password was like, ‘I love the beach,’ or something stupid. He had a list of influencers he wanted me to follow, so that was like my homework. He also wanted me to practice taking photos and I was like, ‘But I’m so bad at taking photos.’ But I took a picture of a dog in my backyard, and a sign that said “Beautiful Inside.” I didn’t know what I was doing. Thank God I didn’t have to take any pictures for the movie because I am really bad at taking photos.

  And you are both pretty new to Instagram yourselves [Elizabeth started using her account in February, while Aubrey recently made hers public]. Have you embraced it more now after doing this film?

  AP: I always felt a little pressure about [going public], especially since I had gotten off Twitter, so I didn’t have any social media presence. But then I was really excited about this movie and another movie that I had come out this summer [ The Little Hours, which is currently in theaters], so I was just excited about having a way to share that with people. So I was like, I’m just going to dive in.

  EO: It’s kind of funny now. I kind of enjoy it.

  AP: I did a fun little video on my vacation.

  EO: You did a Story?

  AP: No, I didn’t do a Story. I haven’t ever done a Story.

  EO: Oh, the Big Little Lies video. That was funny.

  AP: But I’m not as judgmental about it. I’m like, ‘Oh, whatever.’

  Is there anyone in particular that you like to follow?

  A.P.: I mostly just follow all of my friends. Who is really good at Instagram? I don’t know.

  EO: I don’t know either. My friend Jake is really good at Instagram.

  A.P.: Official Sean Penn is really funny to me. Those funny, comedy ones are always good.

  EO: Danny Pellegrino, do you ever follow him? He’s funny.

  AP: And John Early. He’s always doing these, like, dances.

  EO: We went to school together. He was in the grade above me.

  AP: I did not know that. I’ve never met him, I just think he’s funny.

  You shot the movie in Los Angeles, and the film has a very specific Los Angeles vibe to it. What was it like shooting there?

  EO: I like filming on location; it’s hard for me to work where I live. You obviously have had so much experience working where you live. I’m assuming with Parks & Rec?

  AP: Yeah, but it’s different on a movie. With TV, it’s like, ‘This is my job, I’m going to work.’ For this movie [shooting in LA] made sense, and it was fun to go to Venice, because I don’t ever go to Venice, or Joshua Tree and other places like that which I never want to go to.

  E.O.: Joshua Tree was really fun. Matt, Aubrey, and I shared a home. He never reviewed or rated me, and I’m trying to get an Airbnb right now and I feel like me having points or something would help me get a place. Then I got nervous because I thought we may have left the house dirty, but we didn’t. We were really respectful.

  AP: We definitely borrowed some of his hats, but I think we put them back.

  EO: We did. And I think he told us there was a hat closet in his opening note.

  AP: And ponchos.

  E.O.: But I really want my rating.

  Speaking of Los Angeles—Elizabeth, the very particular Valley Girl-esque cadence of your voice as Taylor is a real highlight of the film. Did you pull inspiration from anyone in particular?

  EO: I just grew up in LA and the only reason I don’t talk like that is because I went to drama school, probably. My mother has a high-pitched voice and I feel like you take on the cadence of people around you. I just think what is really funny about people in LA is that they talk like they are running out of breath.

  AP: Even your laugh was different.

  EO: I know, but then I was laughing like that with my friends. I was like, ‘Why am I doing that?’

  How long was the shoot altogether?

  EO: Like, a week.

  AP: Yeah, seven days. No, it was twenty-four days total.

  EO: So nuts.

  Did that kind of quick, intense schedule affect your relationship? It sounds almost like a summer camp, secluded bubble type of experience.

  EO: Aubrey never had a moment off, because the whole movie is her. I had a lot of time to go have my normal life and come back.

  AP: I feel like when we were on set, we were in really uncomfortable situations at times. Our toilets were in our chairs.

  EO: Like, if you moved this bench up, there would be a toilet under there. The toilets smelled so bad.

  AP: But it was good. It helped us band together.

  EO: Like little, dirty children.

  Is there anything in particular that you are obsessed with right now in your own life?

  EO: My friends are very obsessed with this movie, which is cool. They all went to the premiere in LA. And I heard Girls Trip was fantastic.

  AP: Oh, I want to see that.

  E.O.: My friend Clay saw it and was obsessed with it. Then I said, ‘What’s better, Ingrid Goes West or Girls Trip?’ And he said, ‘Honestly, Lizzie, they are on the same level.’

  AP: What.

  EO: That movie was a huge success; that’s a compliment.

  AP: Okay…

  EO: Take it as a compliment. I think it got 99 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. People are obsessed with Girls Trip.

        Gallery Link:

Studio Photoshoots > 2017 > Session 027

      Press/Gallery: Aubrey Plaza and Elizabeth Olsen Sound Off on Hollywood, Dark Humor and the Pitfalls of Instagram was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen

[thegloober]

NYFF 2018: Roma, Her Smell, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, At Eternity’s Gate

by Godfrey Cheshire

October 16, 2018   |  

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When press screenings for the New York Film Festival begin every year as summer edges into fall, it can seem that the cinema year isn’t three-quarters over but just about to begin: many of the several dozen films the festival showcases hold the promise of being ones that will dominate discussions and tallies of the year’s best work as New Year’s approaches. When those screenings end a bit less than four weeks later, one’s earlier expectations have often been handsomely met, enough so that the contours of the year’s film accomplishments begin to take shape.

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There is a remarkable consistency to this. Even if festival regulars invariably take issue with a few undeserving films it includes or deserving films that somehow get overlooked, the NYFF still manages to gather an impressive selection of international cinema that includes some of the most acclaimed films from earlier festivals, especially Cannes, but also including Berlin, Sundance, Venice and Toronto. It is a window on world cinema that’s expansive and clarifying, and sometimes stunning.

In many years, the festival supplies as many as half of the titles on my annual 10-best list. That won’t be the case for 2018, even though I found a lot to like in this year’s programs (my list, though, will almost surely include three films I saw at the 2017 NYFF: Chloe Zhao’s “The Rider,” Valeska Grisebach’s “Western” and Paul Schrader’s “First Reformed”). Yet the very last press screening I attended yielded the film that is pretty much certain to occupy the top spot on my 2018 list. Indeed, when I came out of Alfonso Cuarón’s “Roma,” I felt I’d seen the best film not only of the year but possibly of the decade.

The film, which premiered and won the Golden Lion at Venice and occupied the prestigious Centerpiece slot at the NYFF, is one of those rare, mesmerizing masterpieces that finds a filmmaker making a deeply personal statement while also reaching the peak of his craft. Directed, edited and shot in luminous black and white by Cuarón, it depicts several months in the lives of an upper middle-class Mexico City family (four kids, mom and a dad who skips out early on) and their two female servants during 1970-71. Though running just over two hours, the film feels like an epic, with the sweep and detail of a great 19th century novel.

While its title refers the neighborhood where the story takes place, and where Cuarón grew up, it also appropriately evokes the Italian capital and its cinematic traditions, from the searching humanism of De Sica and Rossellini to the social criticism and stylistic bravado of Fellini and Antonioni. One of the film’s most fascinating aspects is how it manages to parallel an intimate portrait of family life with suggestions of broader changes in Mexican society at large. All the while, Cuarón keeps our eyes riveted with his meticulous, distanced compositions, elegant lateral camera movements and a succession of strikingly mounted set pieces.

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Mexican cinema has been going from strength to strength in recent years, yet “Roma” surely represents the peak of its achievements to date. Cuarón’s compadre Guillermo del Toro, who headed the jury at Venice, has said he regards it as one of the five best films ever made. Deserving of all the accolades it is sure to continue winning, this breathtaking tour de force won a prolonged standing ovation at Lincoln Center.

Coincidentally, the day after seeing Cuarón’s film I saw another work that’s sure to be high on my 10-best list this year. But Patrick Wang’s two-part, four-hour “A Bread Factory”—please see Matt Zoller Seitz’s great reviews of this extraordinary film, which opens in theaters on October 26—was playing in a special preview at Brooklyn’s Museum of the Moving Image. In my view, it should have been in the NYFF, and the fact that it wasn’t draws attention to the festival’s current weakness in showcasing important emerging New York auteurs.

Wang certainly merits that description, as the critical reception of his latest is sure to underscore. “A Bread Factory” might have dazzled both critics and audiences at the NYFF. Instead, among younger New York directors, the festival gave us “Her Smell,” the latest from Alex Ross Perry. Perry has been a regular at the NYFF in recent years, for reasons that can hardly be explained by the uneven, unoriginal quality of his work. Compared to an ahead-of-the-curve artist like Wang, he turns out movies that seem designed to impress film professors and festival programmers of 20 years ago.

Maybe that impression is particularly strong in “Her Smell,” since it is set in the indie rock scene of the 1990s. The story follows the decline, flame-out, rehab and return of a Courtney Love-like star played by Elisabeth Moss. The film has its strengths, especially in Moss’ high-octane performance, Sean Price Williams’ terrific cinematography and some very creative sound design. But the whole thing ends up feeling pointless, overlong and too much like other, better rock movies. 

Regarding older, more established New York directors, the festival did somewhat better, especially in serving up the latest from the Coen Brothers and Julian Schnabel.

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The Coens, of course, are longtime NYFF veterans. I first encountered their work when “Blood Simple” made its dazzling debut at the 1984 festival. Thirty-four years later, they were back with “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs,” a compendium of six tales of the Old West that are presented as if drawn from a kids’ book of several decades back.

Reportedly, the tales were originally intended as a Netflix series before the Coens decided to turn them into a feature. As such, they work pretty well, even if the anthology form is tricky enough to remind us that it’s only produced one unqualified success in recent years: the Argentinian extravaganza “Wild Tales.” Although markedly different in tone and dramatic content, the tales here are united by a theme: death. There’s gunfire, mayhem and killing at every turn, which not only accords with the genre’s usual proclivities but also suggests a philosophical undertow not unlike those of “No Country for Old Men” and “True Grit.”

The funniest of the tales is the first, in which Tim Blake Nelson hilariously proves himself to be the fastest draw and deadliest shot in this part of the West until, as always happens, a newcomer arrives who’s even better. Subsequent tales give us cattle rustling, hangings, ambushes, lethal betrayals and rampaging Indians, and stars including James Franco, Tom Waits, Liam Neeson, Tyne Daly and Brendan Gleeson. For my money, the best of these yarns is the penultimate one, “The Girl Who Got Rattled,” which has Zoe Kazan as an Eastern lass who finds romance on a wagon train to Oregon but falls victim to the journey’s perils. Both romantic and tragic, this tale is rich and narratively substantive enough that it could have been fleshed out to feature length.

Whatever the variable interest of the individual tales, it should be noted that the Coens’ craftsmanship reaches a new peak in this large, complex production. The film’s cinematography, costumes, production design, special effects and spectacular western locations all make this one of the most impressively mounted westerns in some time. And the Coens’ screenwriting has seldom yielded such a rich trove of salty, droll, idiomatic dialogue (it suggests they may have undertaken their “True Grit” remake in order to take some lessons from the wonderful western vernacular in Charles Portis’ source novel).

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Approaching the festival’s Closing Night film, Julian Schnabel’s “At Eternity’s Gate,” it’s perhaps best to begin with the obvious question: Does the world need another cinematic portrait of Vincent Van Gogh given the estimable ones created by three formidable directors: Vincente Minnelli (“Lust for Life”), Robert Altman (“Vincent and Theo”) and Maurice Pialat (“Van Gogh”)?

Actually, the better question might be: why not? Van Gogh’s story and image have an inexhaustible fascination, one that transcends the realm of mere artistic biography and makes him an icon of Christ-like suffering and spiritual aspiration. We could probably do with dozens more Van Gogh movies, and this one has the additional raison d’etre of being the first by a reputable painter-turned-filmmaker (Schnabel previously directed “Before Night Falls” and “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”).

But there’s one factor above all that more than justifies the creation of “At Eternity’s Gate”: Willem Dafoe. Van Gogh is a role this fine actor was born to play. You don’t have go to the movie to see what I mean. Just Google it and look at the production stills. Though there’s a significant age difference (Van Gogh died at 37, Dafoe is now 63), the resemblance is uncanny. There are times in the movie when we see Dafoe in front of one of Van Gogh’s actual self-portraits, and though objectively you can detect certain differences, spiritually they seem identical. 

This is more than just physical likeness. Dafoe also has the ability to visually convey—mainly through his eyes—the dismay, fear and agonies Van Gogh experienced, as well as his wonder and joy at the southern sunlight that he says is his main subject. More than just a compelling performance, the actor’s work here begs to be considered the cinema’s definitive Van Gogh.

Schnabel’s visual treatment of the painter’s wanderings in the final months of his life has an involving sensuality and sense of visual textures. His filmmaking eye indeed seems much like a painter’s as it observes Van Gogh wandering through the sun-dappled landscapes around Arles and trying to capture its colors on his canvases.

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Narratively, Schnabel and co-writers Jean-Claude Carrière and Louise Kugelberg adapt a strategy that the press notes aptly describe as “kaleidoscopic.” Jumping around in time, their drama includes a number of fanciful, invented and even somewhat surreal scenes, but mainly it focuses on incidents recorded in his biography and letters, including interactions with his brother Theo (fine work by Rupert Friend) and Paul Gaugin (an excellent Oscar Isaac). Most of those incidents are of course well-known, and it can’t be said that “At Eternity’s Gate” dramatizes them in a way that gives us any startling new insights into Van Gogh’s character and genius. But they provide a fine frame for Dafoe’s brilliant incarnation of the artist, and that’s enough to make Schnabel’s film a highlight of this year’s New York Film Festival.

Previous Article: NYFF 2018: La Flor

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[mrmichaelchadler]

NYFF 2018: Roma, Her Smell, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, At Eternity's Gate

When press screenings for the New York Film Festival begin every year as summer edges into fall, it can seem that the cinema year isn’t three-quarters over but just about to begin: many of the several dozen films the festival showcases hold the promise of being ones that will dominate discussions and tallies of the year’s best work as New Year’s approaches. When those screenings end a bit less than four weeks later, one’s earlier expectations have often been handsomely met, enough so that the contours of the year’s film accomplishments begin to take shape.

There is a remarkable consistency to this. Even if festival regulars invariably take issue with a few undeserving films it includes or deserving films that somehow get overlooked, the NYFF still manages to gather an impressive selection of international cinema that includes some of the most acclaimed films from earlier festivals, especially Cannes, but also including Berlin, Sundance, Venice and Toronto. It is a window on world cinema that’s expansive and clarifying, and sometimes stunning.

In many years, the festival supplies as many as half of the titles on my annual 10-best list. That won’t be the case for 2018, even though I found a lot to like in this year’s programs (my list, though, will almost surely include three films I saw at the 2017 NYFF: Chloe Zhao’s “The Rider,” Valeska Grisebach’s “Western” and Paul Schrader’s “First Reformed”). Yet the very last press screening I attended yielded the film that is pretty much certain to occupy the top spot on my 2018 list. Indeed, when I came out of Alfonso Cuarón’s “Roma,” I felt I’d seen the best film not only of the year but possibly of the decade.

The film, which premiered and won the Golden Lion at Venice and occupied the prestigious Centerpiece slot at the NYFF, is one of those rare, mesmerizing masterpieces that finds a filmmaker making a deeply personal statement while also reaching the peak of his craft. Directed, edited and shot in luminous black and white by Cuarón, it depicts several months in the lives of an upper middle-class Mexico City family (four kids, mom and a dad who skips out early on) and their two female servants during 1970-71. Though running just over two hours, the film feels like an epic, with the sweep and detail of a great 19th century novel.

While its title refers the neighborhood where the story takes place, and where Cuarón grew up, it also appropriately evokes the Italian capital and its cinematic traditions, from the searching humanism of De Sica and Rossellini to the social criticism and stylistic bravado of Fellini and Antonioni. One of the film’s most fascinating aspects is how it manages to parallel an intimate portrait of family life with suggestions of broader changes in Mexican society at large. All the while, Cuarón keeps our eyes riveted with his meticulous, distanced compositions, elegant lateral camera movements and a succession of strikingly mounted set pieces.

Mexican cinema has been going from strength to strength in recent years, yet “Roma” surely represents the peak of its achievements to date. Cuarón’s compadre Guillermo del Toro, who headed the jury at Venice, has said he regards it as one of the five best films ever made. Deserving of all the accolades it is sure to continue winning, this breathtaking tour de force won a prolonged standing ovation at Lincoln Center.

Coincidentally, the day after seeing Cuarón’s film I saw another work that’s sure to be high on my 10-best list this year. But Patrick Wang’s two-part, four-hour “A Bread Factory”—please see Matt Zoller Seitz’s great reviews of this extraordinary film, which opens in theaters on October 26—was playing in a special preview at Brooklyn’s Museum of the Moving Image. In my view, it should have been in the NYFF, and the fact that it wasn’t draws attention to the festival’s current weakness in showcasing important emerging New York auteurs.

Wang certainly merits that description, as the critical reception of his latest is sure to underscore. “A Bread Factory” might have dazzled both critics and audiences at the NYFF. Instead, among younger New York directors, the festival gave us “Her Smell,” the latest from Alex Ross Perry. Perry has been a regular at the NYFF in recent years, for reasons that can hardly be explained by the uneven, unoriginal quality of his work. Compared to an ahead-of-the-curve artist like Wang, he turns out movies that seem designed to impress film professors and festival programmers of 20 years ago.

Maybe that impression is particularly strong in “Her Smell,” since it is set in the indie rock scene of the 1990s. The story follows the decline, flame-out, rehab and return of a Courtney Love-like star played by Elisabeth Moss. The film has its strengths, especially in Moss’ high-octane performance, Sean Price Williams’ terrific cinematography and some very creative sound design. But the whole thing ends up feeling pointless, overlong and too much like other, better rock movies. 

Regarding older, more established New York directors, the festival did somewhat better, especially in serving up the latest from the Coen Brothers and Julian Schnabel.

The Coens, of course, are longtime NYFF veterans. I first encountered their work when “Blood Simple” made its dazzling debut at the 1984 festival. Thirty-four years later, they were back with “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs,” a compendium of six tales of the Old West that are presented as if drawn from a kids’ book of several decades back.

Reportedly, the tales were originally intended as a Netflix series before the Coens decided to turn them into a feature. As such, they work pretty well, even if the anthology form is tricky enough to remind us that it’s only produced one unqualified success in recent years: the Argentinian extravaganza “Wild Tales.” Although markedly different in tone and dramatic content, the tales here are united by a theme: death. There’s gunfire, mayhem and killing at every turn, which not only accords with the genre’s usual proclivities but also suggests a philosophical undertow not unlike those of “No Country for Old Men” and “True Grit.”

The funniest of the tales is the first, in which Tim Blake Nelson hilariously proves himself to be the fastest draw and deadliest shot in this part of the West until, as always happens, a newcomer arrives who’s even better. Subsequent tales give us cattle rustling, hangings, ambushes, lethal betrayals and rampaging Indians, and stars including James Franco, Tom Waits, Liam Neeson, Tyne Daly and Brendan Gleeson. For my money, the best of these yarns is the penultimate one, “The Girl Who Got Rattled,” which has Zoe Kazan as an Eastern lass who finds romance on a wagon train to Oregon but falls victim to the journey’s perils. Both romantic and tragic, this tale is rich and narratively substantive enough that it could have been fleshed out to feature length.

Whatever the variable interest of the individual tales, it should be noted that the Coens’ craftsmanship reaches a new peak in this large, complex production. The film’s cinematography, costumes, production design, special effects and spectacular western locations all make this one of the most impressively mounted westerns in some time. And the Coens’ screenwriting has seldom yielded such a rich trove of salty, droll, idiomatic dialogue (it suggests they may have undertaken their “True Grit” remake in order to take some lessons from the wonderful western vernacular in Charles Portis’ source novel).

Approaching the festival’s Closing Night film, Julian Schnabel’s “At Eternity’s Gate,” it’s perhaps best to begin with the obvious question: Does the world need another cinematic portrait of Vincent Van Gogh given the estimable ones created by three formidable directors: Vincente Minnelli (“Lust for Life”), Robert Altman (“Vincent and Theo”) and Maurice Pialat (“Van Gogh”)?

Actually, the better question might be: why not? Van Gogh’s story and image have an inexhaustible fascination, one that transcends the realm of mere artistic biography and makes him an icon of Christ-like suffering and spiritual aspiration. We could probably do with dozens more Van Gogh movies, and this one has the additional raison d’etre of being the first by a reputable painter-turned-filmmaker (Schnabel previously directed “Before Night Falls” and “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”).

But there’s one factor above all that more than justifies the creation of “At Eternity’s Gate”: Willem Dafoe. Van Gogh is a role this fine actor was born to play. You don’t have go to the movie to see what I mean. Just Google it and look at the production stills. Though there’s a significant age difference (Van Gogh died at 37, Dafoe is now 63), the resemblance is uncanny. There are times in the movie when we see Dafoe in front of one of Van Gogh’s actual self-portraits, and though objectively you can detect certain differences, spiritually they seem identical. 

This is more than just physical likeness. Dafoe also has the ability to visually convey—mainly through his eyes—the dismay, fear and agonies Van Gogh experienced, as well as his wonder and joy at the southern sunlight that he says is his main subject. More than just a compelling performance, the actor’s work here begs to be considered the cinema’s definitive Van Gogh.

Schnabel’s visual treatment of the painter’s wanderings in the final months of his life has an involving sensuality and sense of visual textures. His filmmaking eye indeed seems much like a painter’s as it observes Van Gogh wandering through the sun-dappled landscapes around Arles and trying to capture its colors on his canvases.

Narratively, Schnabel and co-writers Jean-Claude Carrière and Louise Kugelberg adapt a strategy that the press notes aptly describe as “kaleidoscopic.” Jumping around in time, their drama includes a number of fanciful, invented and even somewhat surreal scenes, but mainly it focuses on incidents recorded in his biography and letters, including interactions with his brother Theo (fine work by Rupert Friend) and Paul Gaugin (an excellent Oscar Isaac). Most of those incidents are of course well-known, and it can’t be said that “At Eternity’s Gate” dramatizes them in a way that gives us any startling new insights into Van Gogh’s character and genius. But they provide a fine frame for Dafoe’s brilliant incarnation of the artist, and that’s enough to make Schnabel’s film a highlight of this year’s New York Film Festival.

from All Content https://ift.tt/2pT1Xlf

[samanthasroberts]

6 Movie Locations You Can Visit (But Probably Shouldn’t)

Some movies are so amazing that their greatness can’t be contained on a simple movie screen. It’s why the Wizarding World Of Harry Potter is a multi-billion-dollar venture and Disney continues to insert employees into permanently smiling horror-beasts. But not every tie-in attraction can be a runaway success — or attract throngs of rabid superfans who will trash your property (see: Breaking Bad) — especially these ones.

6

The Thrills Of Indiana Jones … As A Bed-And-Breakfast

Paramount Pictures

There are an endless number of things an Indy-themed attraction could involve — rolling boulders, snake pits, or melting Nazis come to mind. And the Indiana Jones Bed & Breakfast provides none of them. It’s just got beds. Also breakfast.

EasyBuy4u/iStock Indy presumably enjoyed breakfast in several unfilmed scenes.

Admittedly, this isn’t just any house; it was featured in Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade, where you’ll recall it as the least memorable location in the film. Venice, Nazi castles, a city carved into a cliff, and this:

tripadvisor.ca Petra this ain’t.

It gets maybe 20 seconds of film time, during which it communicates all the glamour you might expect to find in any old house. Glamour it carries to this day.

Indiana Jones Home Bed & Breakfast Walls. A VCR. Sconces even!

There’s really not much Indiana Jones in it at all. The room names are cute (The Cortez and Coronado rooms sound interesting; the Holy Grail room sounds better), and there are a few other plausibly Indy-related thingamabobs strewn about the house as well. But, honestly, if you’ve ever been camping or ever met a German person, you’ve probably had a more authentic Indiana Jones experience than this.

Indiana Jones Home Bed & Breakfast Twist: All the whips could be S&M-related.

5

The Twilight Tour That Doesn’t Show Anything From Twilight

Summit Entertainment

Despite the best efforts of internet snark-merchants, Twilight ended up being a pretty big deal. The books and the movies were incredibly popular, which has inspired throngs of fans to descend on the small town of Forks, Washington, where the franchise was set, to meet their own ancient, powerfully sexual vampires.

As a result, the town of 3,500 has slapped a thick coat of Twilight on everything in it. “Twilight” now clings to the name of many of the town’s establishments, to help remind everyone why they’re there. You know. Just in case someone drove to Forks, Washington, by accident.

Bobak Ha’Eri/Wiki Commons This was definitely worth looking at damp trees for 12 straight days of driving.

There are Twilight-themed coffee shops, and mailboxes, and quilts, and while that certainly is an impressive collection of Twilight, uh, physical matter, it’s lacking something, isn’t it? Like authenticity. Where are the actual shooting locations?

Well, there aren’t any. Because it turns out none of the movies were actually shot in Forks. Which means the Twilight tour must be at least a little disappointing. Although the tour guides are up front about it, at least a few fans have realized sadly that the only thing this place has in common with the Twilight franchise is a name and a preponderance of pale teenagers. The tour apparently consists of places in town that, shrug, might have been places from the books. (“There’s a house! It might have been Bella’s house!”) Evidently, the only thing there that looks remotely like something from the movie is a replica of Bella’s pick-up truck, and you’d better believe the town knows this. This is from the Forks chamber of commerce’s website:

forkswa.com The sparkling is from magic, not a cheap GIF, for those asking.

4

The Zombie Museum That Will Not Die

United Film Distribution Company

The Living Dead Museum has seen better days. It was originally located in Pennsylvania’s Monroeville Mall, which is a fantastic place for a zombie museum, being the shooting location of George Romero’s 1978 zombie classic Dawn Of The Dead. Sadly, though, it was forced to relocate after the mall succumbed to the bloodthirsty menace known as gentrification.

mapio.net That said, it does look nice with all the blood and limbs cleaned up.

The museum is now housed in Evans City, a small town an hour away. This was, admittedly, the place where Night Of The Living Dead was filmed. But that was a substantially less iconic location, and, well, it kind of shows.

Google Maps That’s the museum there next to the Subway.

Inside, it’s not that bad. It’s got photos, and posters, and a bunch of creepy mannequins, as you’d hope. It’s also got a wall covered in bloody hand prints for some reason.

Living Dead Museum Kind of puts us in the mood for Subway, actually.

But like every museum in the world ever, the real point here seems to be the gift shop, which is where it gets a little sad. Remember that mall the museum got kicked out of? Well they’re selling tiny pieces of the J.C. Penney escalator. Which seems a little clingy. The mall’s just not that into you, dude. Let it go. (Follow-up reaction: Also, what the hell is anyone going to do with a piece of an escalator?)

livingdeadmuseum.com “If you have a better way to repair my escalator, I’d like to hear it.”

3

The Twister Museum Is Located In The Thirstiest Town Ever

Warner Bros.

Somewhere in the tiny Oklahoma town of Wakita, an elderly local is telling a hapless visitor about the time Helen Hunt and a cow were attacked by a tornado. That time was 20 years ago now, but to Wakita, that time was everything.

Google Maps Imagine a one-horse town if that horse got bored and left 20 years ago.

In the mid ’90s, Wakita welcomed the Twister production into town with open arms. And why wouldn’t they? The producers promised to upgrade the town’s facade, knock down some old unwanted buildings, and clean up a bunch of debris. Which they did! On top of that, the locals hoped the film would revitalize the town’s economy, provide a steady tourism income for years, and make Wakita the go-to destination for Hollywood productions. Which it didn’t.

Google Maps Hollywood may have had trouble finding it again, actually.

But for two decades now, the town has steadfastly refused to see the uninterested writing on the wall. It’s even erected a Twister museum to pay homage to the 1996 blockbuster. Which is, uh, not exactly a big-budget affair. From the models depicting tornado ravaged dollhouses:

Eileen Blass/USA Today

To the “Twister debris” that’s really just a bunch of random detritus haphazardly scattered in a corner:

tripadvisor.com “See the genuine pile of garbage!”

It’s all very, very quaint. The museum’s success has been so limited that residents are willing to drop literally anything they’re doing for the opportunity to guide someone around piles of Hollywood rubble and spend hours chatting about their close encounter with film-industry elite. This museum is quite literally their only form of entertainment in town:

tripadvisor.com

So if you’re a die-hard Twister fan who also happens to be in the middle of nowhere, maybe check it out? The locals seem like nice people, at least. They could maybe use someone to talk to, as well. Also, maybe try showing up and talking about how much you love Armageddon, as a goof. Let us know how that goes.

2

Kevin Costner’s Kevin Costner-Themed Restaurant Is A Little Kevin Costner Heavy

Orion Pictures

Back in the ’90s, if you wanted to make a baseball movie or post-apocalyptic piece of crap, Kevin Costner was your guy.

Warner Bros. Also if you wanted your Robin Hood to have an American accent.

But Kevin Costner hasn’t been in too many movies recently, possibly because of all those jokes we made, but also because he’s been busy with his restaurant and casino! Located in Deadwood — which is an actual real-life town in South Dakota, apparently — it’s called the Midnight Star, and according to Kevin Costner, it’s the highlight of Deadwood.

themidnightstar.com Which is huge if true.

With the bare walls of the establishment — of all establishments, really — just begging to be Costner-ized, Costner hasn’t sat idle and has filled the place with memorabilia from his life. Props and costumes from classics like Field Of Dreams and Dances With Wolves line the walls, while a Bull Durham poster sexily watches people eat their baskets of calamari.

Orion Pictures “Could someone turn that thing around?”

But the downside of an extensive collection of Costner-bilia is that it reveals just how many turds he’s been in. What is The Guardian? Or Mr. Brooks? Up on the wall is some kind of doctor costume from the movie Dragonfly, which was about … dragons? Dragons that need doctors? To help fly again? Also there must be some Waterworld stuff there too, just haunting the place, making all the drinks taste a little bit like urine. (OK, that’s probably not true. But it should be.)

1

The Official Cheers Bars Had Dead-Eyed Robot Versions Of The Cast

CBS

Cheers taught us that all it takes to make your crippling substance-abuse problem tolerable is for everyone to know your name. Which is a fine premise to base an actual bar on as well, once you remove that pesky need for knowing or even caring about your customers’ names. Which is how Cheers-branded bars began popping up in airports and hotels across the world in the 1990s. Not only were these bars called Cheers, perched at the end of the bar in many of them were horrific Chuck E. Cheese’s automaton versions of Norm and Cliff.

United States Court of Appeals Fated to get hammered for their entire miserable existence.

As you can probably tell, the replicas were less than perfect. Cliff had no mustache, Norm had aged a good 20 years, and both looked quite a bit less like human beings than they did the embalmed corpses of political cartoons. These discrepancies may not have been an accident, perhaps done to avoid paying likeness rights to the actors; the robots’ names were also changed to “Hank” and “Bob.” If you think that seems like bullshit, you’re not alone: John Ratzenberger and George Wendt, the actors who played Cliff and Norm, thought so too and ended up suing Paramount over it, in a case that almost made it to the Supreme Court.

Roger L. Wollenberg/Pool via Bloomberg Where everybody knows your name because it’s written down on several important pieces of paper.

Yup, the United States Supreme Court had to decide whether shitty robot doppelgangers of sitcom characters swilling beer in airport bars were worth their time. Their eventual decision — “Nah, not really” — left it in the hands of a lower court, where the actors eventually settled with Paramount. We don’t know what the terms of that settlement were, but seeing as there don’t seem to be too many of those robots around anymore, we kind of hope they all ended up in George Wendt’s basement, where they’ve become his best friends.

You can check out Carolyn’s depressing Twitter account here.

What’s The Best Fictional School To Attend? In the muggle world, we’re not given the opportunity for a magical hat to tell us which school we should go to. Usually we just have to go to the high school closest to where we live or whatever college accepts our SAT scores and personal essay. This month, our goal is to determine what would be the best fictional school to go to. Join Jack, Daniel, and the rest of the Cracked staff, along with comedians Brandie Posey and Steven Wilber, as they figure out if it’s a realistic school like Degrassi or West Beverly High, or an institution from a fantasy world like Hogwarts with its ghosts and dementors, or Bayside High, haunted by a monster known only to humans as Screech. Get your tickets here!

Also check out 7 Movies That Were Filmed In Terrifying Locations and 5 Photos That Shatter Your Image Of Horror Movie Locations.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out 8 Places You’ll Recognize From The Background Of Every Movie, and other videos you won’t see on the site!

Also, follow us on Facebook, and we’ll follow you everywhere.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/10/28/6-movie-locations-you-can-visit-but-probably-shouldnt/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/10/28/6-movie-locations-you-can-visit-but-probably-shouldnt/

[adambstingus]

6 Movie Locations You Can Visit (But Probably Shouldn’t)

Some movies are so amazing that their greatness can’t be contained on a simple movie screen. It’s why the Wizarding World Of Harry Potter is a multi-billion-dollar venture and Disney continues to insert employees into permanently smiling horror-beasts. But not every tie-in attraction can be a runaway success — or attract throngs of rabid superfans who will trash your property (see: Breaking Bad) — especially these ones.

6

The Thrills Of Indiana Jones … As A Bed-And-Breakfast

Paramount Pictures

There are an endless number of things an Indy-themed attraction could involve — rolling boulders, snake pits, or melting Nazis come to mind. And the Indiana Jones Bed & Breakfast provides none of them. It’s just got beds. Also breakfast.

EasyBuy4u/iStock Indy presumably enjoyed breakfast in several unfilmed scenes.

Admittedly, this isn’t just any house; it was featured in Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade, where you’ll recall it as the least memorable location in the film. Venice, Nazi castles, a city carved into a cliff, and this:

tripadvisor.ca Petra this ain’t.

It gets maybe 20 seconds of film time, during which it communicates all the glamour you might expect to find in any old house. Glamour it carries to this day.

Indiana Jones Home Bed & Breakfast Walls. A VCR. Sconces even!

There’s really not much Indiana Jones in it at all. The room names are cute (The Cortez and Coronado rooms sound interesting; the Holy Grail room sounds better), and there are a few other plausibly Indy-related thingamabobs strewn about the house as well. But, honestly, if you’ve ever been camping or ever met a German person, you’ve probably had a more authentic Indiana Jones experience than this.

Indiana Jones Home Bed & Breakfast Twist: All the whips could be S&M-related.

5

The Twilight Tour That Doesn’t Show Anything From Twilight

Summit Entertainment

Despite the best efforts of internet snark-merchants, Twilight ended up being a pretty big deal. The books and the movies were incredibly popular, which has inspired throngs of fans to descend on the small town of Forks, Washington, where the franchise was set, to meet their own ancient, powerfully sexual vampires.

As a result, the town of 3,500 has slapped a thick coat of Twilight on everything in it. “Twilight” now clings to the name of many of the town’s establishments, to help remind everyone why they’re there. You know. Just in case someone drove to Forks, Washington, by accident.

Bobak Ha’Eri/Wiki Commons This was definitely worth looking at damp trees for 12 straight days of driving.

There are Twilight-themed coffee shops, and mailboxes, and quilts, and while that certainly is an impressive collection of Twilight, uh, physical matter, it’s lacking something, isn’t it? Like authenticity. Where are the actual shooting locations?

Well, there aren’t any. Because it turns out none of the movies were actually shot in Forks. Which means the Twilight tour must be at least a little disappointing. Although the tour guides are up front about it, at least a few fans have realized sadly that the only thing this place has in common with the Twilight franchise is a name and a preponderance of pale teenagers. The tour apparently consists of places in town that, shrug, might have been places from the books. (“There’s a house! It might have been Bella’s house!”) Evidently, the only thing there that looks remotely like something from the movie is a replica of Bella’s pick-up truck, and you’d better believe the town knows this. This is from the Forks chamber of commerce’s website:

forkswa.com The sparkling is from magic, not a cheap GIF, for those asking.

4

The Zombie Museum That Will Not Die

United Film Distribution Company

The Living Dead Museum has seen better days. It was originally located in Pennsylvania’s Monroeville Mall, which is a fantastic place for a zombie museum, being the shooting location of George Romero’s 1978 zombie classic Dawn Of The Dead. Sadly, though, it was forced to relocate after the mall succumbed to the bloodthirsty menace known as gentrification.

mapio.net That said, it does look nice with all the blood and limbs cleaned up.

The museum is now housed in Evans City, a small town an hour away. This was, admittedly, the place where Night Of The Living Dead was filmed. But that was a substantially less iconic location, and, well, it kind of shows.

Google Maps That’s the museum there next to the Subway.

Inside, it’s not that bad. It’s got photos, and posters, and a bunch of creepy mannequins, as you’d hope. It’s also got a wall covered in bloody hand prints for some reason.

Living Dead Museum Kind of puts us in the mood for Subway, actually.

But like every museum in the world ever, the real point here seems to be the gift shop, which is where it gets a little sad. Remember that mall the museum got kicked out of? Well they’re selling tiny pieces of the J.C. Penney escalator. Which seems a little clingy. The mall’s just not that into you, dude. Let it go. (Follow-up reaction: Also, what the hell is anyone going to do with a piece of an escalator?)

livingdeadmuseum.com “If you have a better way to repair my escalator, I’d like to hear it.”

3

The Twister Museum Is Located In The Thirstiest Town Ever

Warner Bros.

Somewhere in the tiny Oklahoma town of Wakita, an elderly local is telling a hapless visitor about the time Helen Hunt and a cow were attacked by a tornado. That time was 20 years ago now, but to Wakita, that time was everything.

Google Maps Imagine a one-horse town if that horse got bored and left 20 years ago.

In the mid ’90s, Wakita welcomed the Twister production into town with open arms. And why wouldn’t they? The producers promised to upgrade the town’s facade, knock down some old unwanted buildings, and clean up a bunch of debris. Which they did! On top of that, the locals hoped the film would revitalize the town’s economy, provide a steady tourism income for years, and make Wakita the go-to destination for Hollywood productions. Which it didn’t.

Google Maps Hollywood may have had trouble finding it again, actually.

But for two decades now, the town has steadfastly refused to see the uninterested writing on the wall. It’s even erected a Twister museum to pay homage to the 1996 blockbuster. Which is, uh, not exactly a big-budget affair. From the models depicting tornado ravaged dollhouses:

Eileen Blass/USA Today

To the “Twister debris” that’s really just a bunch of random detritus haphazardly scattered in a corner:

tripadvisor.com “See the genuine pile of garbage!”

It’s all very, very quaint. The museum’s success has been so limited that residents are willing to drop literally anything they’re doing for the opportunity to guide someone around piles of Hollywood rubble and spend hours chatting about their close encounter with film-industry elite. This museum is quite literally their only form of entertainment in town:

tripadvisor.com

So if you’re a die-hard Twister fan who also happens to be in the middle of nowhere, maybe check it out? The locals seem like nice people, at least. They could maybe use someone to talk to, as well. Also, maybe try showing up and talking about how much you love Armageddon, as a goof. Let us know how that goes.

2

Kevin Costner’s Kevin Costner-Themed Restaurant Is A Little Kevin Costner Heavy

Orion Pictures

Back in the ’90s, if you wanted to make a baseball movie or post-apocalyptic piece of crap, Kevin Costner was your guy.

Warner Bros. Also if you wanted your Robin Hood to have an American accent.

But Kevin Costner hasn’t been in too many movies recently, possibly because of all those jokes we made, but also because he’s been busy with his restaurant and casino! Located in Deadwood — which is an actual real-life town in South Dakota, apparently — it’s called the Midnight Star, and according to Kevin Costner, it’s the highlight of Deadwood.

themidnightstar.com Which is huge if true.

With the bare walls of the establishment — of all establishments, really — just begging to be Costner-ized, Costner hasn’t sat idle and has filled the place with memorabilia from his life. Props and costumes from classics like Field Of Dreams and Dances With Wolves line the walls, while a Bull Durham poster sexily watches people eat their baskets of calamari.

Orion Pictures “Could someone turn that thing around?”

But the downside of an extensive collection of Costner-bilia is that it reveals just how many turds he’s been in. What is The Guardian? Or Mr. Brooks? Up on the wall is some kind of doctor costume from the movie Dragonfly, which was about … dragons? Dragons that need doctors? To help fly again? Also there must be some Waterworld stuff there too, just haunting the place, making all the drinks taste a little bit like urine. (OK, that’s probably not true. But it should be.)

1

The Official Cheers Bars Had Dead-Eyed Robot Versions Of The Cast

CBS

Cheers taught us that all it takes to make your crippling substance-abuse problem tolerable is for everyone to know your name. Which is a fine premise to base an actual bar on as well, once you remove that pesky need for knowing or even caring about your customers’ names. Which is how Cheers-branded bars began popping up in airports and hotels across the world in the 1990s. Not only were these bars called Cheers, perched at the end of the bar in many of them were horrific Chuck E. Cheese’s automaton versions of Norm and Cliff.

United States Court of Appeals Fated to get hammered for their entire miserable existence.

As you can probably tell, the replicas were less than perfect. Cliff had no mustache, Norm had aged a good 20 years, and both looked quite a bit less like human beings than they did the embalmed corpses of political cartoons. These discrepancies may not have been an accident, perhaps done to avoid paying likeness rights to the actors; the robots’ names were also changed to “Hank” and “Bob.” If you think that seems like bullshit, you’re not alone: John Ratzenberger and George Wendt, the actors who played Cliff and Norm, thought so too and ended up suing Paramount over it, in a case that almost made it to the Supreme Court.

Roger L. Wollenberg/Pool via Bloomberg Where everybody knows your name because it’s written down on several important pieces of paper.

Yup, the United States Supreme Court had to decide whether shitty robot doppelgangers of sitcom characters swilling beer in airport bars were worth their time. Their eventual decision — “Nah, not really” — left it in the hands of a lower court, where the actors eventually settled with Paramount. We don’t know what the terms of that settlement were, but seeing as there don’t seem to be too many of those robots around anymore, we kind of hope they all ended up in George Wendt’s basement, where they’ve become his best friends.

You can check out Carolyn’s depressing Twitter account here.

What’s The Best Fictional School To Attend? In the muggle world, we’re not given the opportunity for a magical hat to tell us which school we should go to. Usually we just have to go to the high school closest to where we live or whatever college accepts our SAT scores and personal essay. This month, our goal is to determine what would be the best fictional school to go to. Join Jack, Daniel, and the rest of the Cracked staff, along with comedians Brandie Posey and Steven Wilber, as they figure out if it’s a realistic school like Degrassi or West Beverly High, or an institution from a fantasy world like Hogwarts with its ghosts and dementors, or Bayside High, haunted by a monster known only to humans as Screech. Get your tickets here!

Also check out 7 Movies That Were Filmed In Terrifying Locations and 5 Photos That Shatter Your Image Of Horror Movie Locations.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out 8 Places You’ll Recognize From The Background Of Every Movie, and other videos you won’t see on the site!

Also, follow us on Facebook, and we’ll follow you everywhere.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/10/28/6-movie-locations-you-can-visit-but-probably-shouldnt/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/166892480217

[allofbeercom]

6 Movie Locations You Can Visit (But Probably Shouldn’t)

Some movies are so amazing that their greatness can’t be contained on a simple movie screen. It’s why the Wizarding World Of Harry Potter is a multi-billion-dollar venture and Disney continues to insert employees into permanently smiling horror-beasts. But not every tie-in attraction can be a runaway success — or attract throngs of rabid superfans who will trash your property (see: Breaking Bad) — especially these ones.

6

The Thrills Of Indiana Jones … As A Bed-And-Breakfast

Paramount Pictures

There are an endless number of things an Indy-themed attraction could involve — rolling boulders, snake pits, or melting Nazis come to mind. And the Indiana Jones Bed & Breakfast provides none of them. It’s just got beds. Also breakfast.

EasyBuy4u/iStock Indy presumably enjoyed breakfast in several unfilmed scenes.

Admittedly, this isn’t just any house; it was featured in Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade, where you’ll recall it as the least memorable location in the film. Venice, Nazi castles, a city carved into a cliff, and this:

tripadvisor.ca Petra this ain’t.

It gets maybe 20 seconds of film time, during which it communicates all the glamour you might expect to find in any old house. Glamour it carries to this day.

Indiana Jones Home Bed & Breakfast Walls. A VCR. Sconces even!

There’s really not much Indiana Jones in it at all. The room names are cute (The Cortez and Coronado rooms sound interesting; the Holy Grail room sounds better), and there are a few other plausibly Indy-related thingamabobs strewn about the house as well. But, honestly, if you’ve ever been camping or ever met a German person, you’ve probably had a more authentic Indiana Jones experience than this.

Indiana Jones Home Bed & Breakfast Twist: All the whips could be S&M-related.

5

The Twilight Tour That Doesn’t Show Anything From Twilight

Summit Entertainment

Despite the best efforts of internet snark-merchants, Twilight ended up being a pretty big deal. The books and the movies were incredibly popular, which has inspired throngs of fans to descend on the small town of Forks, Washington, where the franchise was set, to meet their own ancient, powerfully sexual vampires.

As a result, the town of 3,500 has slapped a thick coat of Twilight on everything in it. “Twilight” now clings to the name of many of the town’s establishments, to help remind everyone why they’re there. You know. Just in case someone drove to Forks, Washington, by accident.

Bobak Ha’Eri/Wiki Commons This was definitely worth looking at damp trees for 12 straight days of driving.

There are Twilight-themed coffee shops, and mailboxes, and quilts, and while that certainly is an impressive collection of Twilight, uh, physical matter, it’s lacking something, isn’t it? Like authenticity. Where are the actual shooting locations?

Well, there aren’t any. Because it turns out none of the movies were actually shot in Forks. Which means the Twilight tour must be at least a little disappointing. Although the tour guides are up front about it, at least a few fans have realized sadly that the only thing this place has in common with the Twilight franchise is a name and a preponderance of pale teenagers. The tour apparently consists of places in town that, shrug, might have been places from the books. (“There’s a house! It might have been Bella’s house!”) Evidently, the only thing there that looks remotely like something from the movie is a replica of Bella’s pick-up truck, and you’d better believe the town knows this. This is from the Forks chamber of commerce’s website:

forkswa.com The sparkling is from magic, not a cheap GIF, for those asking.

4

The Zombie Museum That Will Not Die

United Film Distribution Company

The Living Dead Museum has seen better days. It was originally located in Pennsylvania’s Monroeville Mall, which is a fantastic place for a zombie museum, being the shooting location of George Romero’s 1978 zombie classic Dawn Of The Dead. Sadly, though, it was forced to relocate after the mall succumbed to the bloodthirsty menace known as gentrification.

mapio.net That said, it does look nice with all the blood and limbs cleaned up.

The museum is now housed in Evans City, a small town an hour away. This was, admittedly, the place where Night Of The Living Dead was filmed. But that was a substantially less iconic location, and, well, it kind of shows.

Google Maps That’s the museum there next to the Subway.

Inside, it’s not that bad. It’s got photos, and posters, and a bunch of creepy mannequins, as you’d hope. It’s also got a wall covered in bloody hand prints for some reason.

Living Dead Museum Kind of puts us in the mood for Subway, actually.

But like every museum in the world ever, the real point here seems to be the gift shop, which is where it gets a little sad. Remember that mall the museum got kicked out of? Well they’re selling tiny pieces of the J.C. Penney escalator. Which seems a little clingy. The mall’s just not that into you, dude. Let it go. (Follow-up reaction: Also, what the hell is anyone going to do with a piece of an escalator?)

livingdeadmuseum.com “If you have a better way to repair my escalator, I’d like to hear it.”

3

The Twister Museum Is Located In The Thirstiest Town Ever

Warner Bros.

Somewhere in the tiny Oklahoma town of Wakita, an elderly local is telling a hapless visitor about the time Helen Hunt and a cow were attacked by a tornado. That time was 20 years ago now, but to Wakita, that time was everything.

Google Maps Imagine a one-horse town if that horse got bored and left 20 years ago.

In the mid ’90s, Wakita welcomed the Twister production into town with open arms. And why wouldn’t they? The producers promised to upgrade the town’s facade, knock down some old unwanted buildings, and clean up a bunch of debris. Which they did! On top of that, the locals hoped the film would revitalize the town’s economy, provide a steady tourism income for years, and make Wakita the go-to destination for Hollywood productions. Which it didn’t.

Google Maps Hollywood may have had trouble finding it again, actually.

But for two decades now, the town has steadfastly refused to see the uninterested writing on the wall. It’s even erected a Twister museum to pay homage to the 1996 blockbuster. Which is, uh, not exactly a big-budget affair. From the models depicting tornado ravaged dollhouses:

Eileen Blass/USA Today

To the “Twister debris” that’s really just a bunch of random detritus haphazardly scattered in a corner:

tripadvisor.com “See the genuine pile of garbage!”

It’s all very, very quaint. The museum’s success has been so limited that residents are willing to drop literally anything they’re doing for the opportunity to guide someone around piles of Hollywood rubble and spend hours chatting about their close encounter with film-industry elite. This museum is quite literally their only form of entertainment in town:

tripadvisor.com

So if you’re a die-hard Twister fan who also happens to be in the middle of nowhere, maybe check it out? The locals seem like nice people, at least. They could maybe use someone to talk to, as well. Also, maybe try showing up and talking about how much you love Armageddon, as a goof. Let us know how that goes.

2

Kevin Costner’s Kevin Costner-Themed Restaurant Is A Little Kevin Costner Heavy

Orion Pictures

Back in the ’90s, if you wanted to make a baseball movie or post-apocalyptic piece of crap, Kevin Costner was your guy.

Warner Bros. Also if you wanted your Robin Hood to have an American accent.

But Kevin Costner hasn’t been in too many movies recently, possibly because of all those jokes we made, but also because he’s been busy with his restaurant and casino! Located in Deadwood — which is an actual real-life town in South Dakota, apparently — it’s called the Midnight Star, and according to Kevin Costner, it’s the highlight of Deadwood.

themidnightstar.com Which is huge if true.

With the bare walls of the establishment — of all establishments, really — just begging to be Costner-ized, Costner hasn’t sat idle and has filled the place with memorabilia from his life. Props and costumes from classics like Field Of Dreams and Dances With Wolves line the walls, while a Bull Durham poster sexily watches people eat their baskets of calamari.

Orion Pictures “Could someone turn that thing around?”

But the downside of an extensive collection of Costner-bilia is that it reveals just how many turds he’s been in. What is The Guardian? Or Mr. Brooks? Up on the wall is some kind of doctor costume from the movie Dragonfly, which was about … dragons? Dragons that need doctors? To help fly again? Also there must be some Waterworld stuff there too, just haunting the place, making all the drinks taste a little bit like urine. (OK, that’s probably not true. But it should be.)

1

The Official Cheers Bars Had Dead-Eyed Robot Versions Of The Cast

CBS

Cheers taught us that all it takes to make your crippling substance-abuse problem tolerable is for everyone to know your name. Which is a fine premise to base an actual bar on as well, once you remove that pesky need for knowing or even caring about your customers’ names. Which is how Cheers-branded bars began popping up in airports and hotels across the world in the 1990s. Not only were these bars called Cheers, perched at the end of the bar in many of them were horrific Chuck E. Cheese’s automaton versions of Norm and Cliff.

United States Court of Appeals Fated to get hammered for their entire miserable existence.

As you can probably tell, the replicas were less than perfect. Cliff had no mustache, Norm had aged a good 20 years, and both looked quite a bit less like human beings than they did the embalmed corpses of political cartoons. These discrepancies may not have been an accident, perhaps done to avoid paying likeness rights to the actors; the robots’ names were also changed to “Hank” and “Bob.” If you think that seems like bullshit, you’re not alone: John Ratzenberger and George Wendt, the actors who played Cliff and Norm, thought so too and ended up suing Paramount over it, in a case that almost made it to the Supreme Court.

Roger L. Wollenberg/Pool via Bloomberg Where everybody knows your name because it’s written down on several important pieces of paper.

Yup, the United States Supreme Court had to decide whether shitty robot doppelgangers of sitcom characters swilling beer in airport bars were worth their time. Their eventual decision — “Nah, not really” — left it in the hands of a lower court, where the actors eventually settled with Paramount. We don’t know what the terms of that settlement were, but seeing as there don’t seem to be too many of those robots around anymore, we kind of hope they all ended up in George Wendt’s basement, where they’ve become his best friends.

You can check out Carolyn’s depressing Twitter account here.

What’s The Best Fictional School To Attend? In the muggle world, we’re not given the opportunity for a magical hat to tell us which school we should go to. Usually we just have to go to the high school closest to where we live or whatever college accepts our SAT scores and personal essay. This month, our goal is to determine what would be the best fictional school to go to. Join Jack, Daniel, and the rest of the Cracked staff, along with comedians Brandie Posey and Steven Wilber, as they figure out if it’s a realistic school like Degrassi or West Beverly High, or an institution from a fantasy world like Hogwarts with its ghosts and dementors, or Bayside High, haunted by a monster known only to humans as Screech. Get your tickets here!

Also check out 7 Movies That Were Filmed In Terrifying Locations and 5 Photos That Shatter Your Image Of Horror Movie Locations.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out 8 Places You’ll Recognize From The Background Of Every Movie, and other videos you won’t see on the site!

Also, follow us on Facebook, and we’ll follow you everywhere.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/10/28/6-movie-locations-you-can-visit-but-probably-shouldnt/

[manekinekopro]

sit-down with graffiti artist pesky oner (Courtesy overtheedgebooks)

On this day, I get the privilege to dig into the mind of a dear friend, an entrepreneur and Los Angeles based Graffiti artistPesky Oner, well-known for her usage of colorful vivid characters; letters and dragons. But not only does she elaborate her skills on walls; she does some amazing body painting as well. For the first time ever she will sit down and talk about her lifestyle as well as fond memories of the Belmont Tunnel and where it all started. Enjoy every bit of it because let me assure you that it was a challenge to have her open up and speak about herself as an artist and her involvement in this Graffiti Art Movement; she is a very humble person and I admire that about her the most.

Early Years

Pesky Oner was born in Monterey, California at Fort Ord Army Base to mother from Costa Rica and father from Mexican-Filipino origin. At only months of age her parents moved to Echo Park, California where Pesky spent half of her life living there until the age of 16 when she moved to Cypress Park and eventually Highland Park which is where she still resides at the time.  Her childhood was influenced by both artistic parents as she reminisces on her mother painting and her father playing music. I must say that it is always inspiring to learn that the best traits and influences are learned by artistic parents as role models.  Pesky’s mother was the one that taught her the usage of colors and acrylics before she even entered kindergarten; she always advised Pesky to never copy anybody else’s styles. Therefore she took it upon herself to always stay original with her styles and characters. For Pesky, one of her early memories as her interest for art evolved at an early age. “I remember being young and in school I would always draw during breakfast and lunch breaks, I would always have a little crowd around me, watching me, asking me what I was drawing. I would always say the same thing: I don’t know, I’m just doing it. And then after being done some random person asking for it; while everyone else would be sad and mentioned that they also wanted it. It was nice!” (Pesky).

The Beginning of Graffiti

Her first interest for Graffiti began after she met Aone an ex-boyfriend of her sister, whom Pesky still sees as a brother till this day. So this was around the age of 12! Her sister would have to take Pesky along as she was younger more like a third wheel, so Aone would bring a friend to distract her while her sister was trying to kick it with her friends. Hahaha. “Those were the DTW’s and I always remember them “catching a grill” or “hanging a grill” and catching spots, I loved it! But it was more of a fantasy for me to do something like that; I was young and dumb so as I got older my sister was the one that had a strong influence on me because she had “real Graff Writer friends” from FCT that would always be doing pieces for her at the Belmont Tunnel along with BBQ’s and good times”(Pesky).

This was the beginning of Pesky’s real exposure to the Graff scene and as many remember, the Belmont Tunnel was the place to be when it came to bombing yards, many fond memories for a lot of Graffiti writers from previous generations as well as to becoming a historical landmark for new Graffiti generations to learn about. “I remember going to a “battle”, I can’t remember who it was against whom but that battle, that moment was it for me, right there! After that, I was going to Melrose and admiring Graff buying can control, hanging out with my generation of Graff writers at Virgil, Belmont and Franklin. Buying piece books and claiming to be a writer because I had some means streaks and my BF at the time would hit me up; whoever that may have been ha ha ha . But at this time yes, my art was Graff but just in books or would catch spots on the RTD’s”. (Pesky)

Shortly after she began getting up around her neighborhood and that was as far as she went during the first stages. She used to go to the Belmont Tunnel and hit up because she knew she could get away with it there. Pesky would search for scraps and hit up her name and would start doing small characters outlines on bridges, sidewalks and anywhere where she felt she would not get busted for. The Belmont Tunnel was at times a scary place especially for a female writer, she used to go paint and take her sister along and would have to be quick and get out of there before the sun would go down. Pesky mentioned that there were times that if some of the fellas were there; they would wait for her to finish up so she could get out of there safe. Such homeys that would do that for her would be Fearo, Pryer and Phib from UTI among many others that looked out for her.

I think I was about 21 years old when I finally said to myself that I needed to really start getting up!! So I talked my EX into going to the infamous “River” with me and I busted a dragon, it was really whack but not bad for my first real character piece, after that it was nonstop whether it was Belmont, Venice, an invite’ mostly Keo and Visions. Then I started to work at Crewest Gallery and meet all kinds of peepz and connects. Man One would take me to “hired walls” and show me techniques and I would help him do fill ins. I learned a lot from him and a lot of other peepz and legends I was getting to meet.” Pesky.

 Body Art Painting Phase

I call this my “body painting phase” this started when the Belmont Tunnel was literally taken from us. Body painting had always been something “guys” did on some random female as something sexual to brag about as a “flik” and show off their hoochies; it was never something I really wanted to get into but the only reason I did was because I had met some ladies that were in the process of making a Graff magazine called “Piecez” a little group of cool chicks, it was Rosa, Chelly, Jessica Rabbit and Daniella. (Pesky) They had offered her a spot and article in their magazine but they wanted to know if she also did body painting; she was offered to do a section of body painting for the magazine. Once this picture was posted on MySpace, Pesky had both males and females making requests for her to paint them. Even friends and family wanted to partake in this new experience.  Pesky saw this as an opportunity to make money since she had previous experience in working on Halloween events and painting faces and what not. Body art painting became a profession for her while it lasted.

“Body painting was the thing to do, it started to grow and it really began to blow up, as Huskey Radio had shows on the regular and had me as a guest painter almost every week; it was fun while it lasted. But in my opinion it just blew out of proportion with the whole Graff scene, EVERYBODY who was anybody was doing it. Then it wasn’t fun anymore because it lost its class. So I said to myself either I make a career out of this or I abandon ship before it sinks. I think it sunk when I decided to paint a very muscular man at a graffiti event.  I think me and Ezo were disqualified because we never got judged or considered for a prize; I honestly think because he was a man. I don’t know I could be wrong but he never made it to the stage for judging. So after all that, I kind of just said I’m done, this is a man’s world anyways. Guys don’t want to see that but the females didn’t mind at all and that is what I was aiming for; I think I made my point!. It’s not just a man’s world. So anyways, I don’t really do it anymore but if I do is for a favor for a friend or getting paid at an event, that’s the only way I really go there anymore. -Pesky.

2007 to Present

So you might be wondering what Pesky Oner has been up today, well today is the year of 2013. She had countless art shows, live wall painting, live body painting and many opportunities to express her love for the arts in all mediums and venues.  She is well-known and loved by the Graffiti scene not only for her talent but her humbleness to the Graffiti sport.  “I am trying to get back into painting again; I had to settle down for a bit doing the family thing raising my 13-year-old, 6-year-old and 2-year-old. During home time I had begun doing more canvases with acrylics. Now I want to start using some different mediums like oils which I have never used before but willing to try. And maybe gets some more hands on air brushing and pin stripping. My plan is to go back to school and maybe have a nice career by the time I hit 40. So that’s my story. I just want to say thank you to God my kids, my family and Gordo, Fridge all my friends and acquaintances who have been supportive through this journey. Those of you that have had my back and still do! It’s because of you that I am ME! Because of all of you I will succeed, ha-ha thanks for the love and support! Pesky Oner.

We can all agree that we are all happy to see her getting back in the Graff scene, as she is gradually preparing herself for art shows and events; we are all eager to see what else she brings to light!. Thanks Pesky for letting me dig into your mind for a bit and share some special events of your life as an artist with us all.

Stay posted with me as I will keep you all updated with any of her on going projects coming soon to a city near you!

You can also follow her on her Fan Page on Facebook. Pesky Oner

https://www.facebook.com/peskyhttps://www.facebook.com/pesky.oner.7?fref=ts.oner.7?fref=ts

Monica Smiles Tobon

sit-down with graffiti artist pesky oner (Courtesy overtheedgebooks)