#it's just... how the brain is
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I so love the writing experience of doing unrelated things to writing because alas I’m an adult and have to and having a scene just... come to me almost cinematically while I’m elbow deep in dishwater, only to COMPLETELY vanish by the time I get to where I can write it down.
#ALAS#I just had this happen to me and I'm annoyed is all#I'll get over it#it's just... how the brain is#but man is it frustrating#upside is I know the rotating the scenes in my brain like they're in an underpowered microwave IS producing result#so like eventually SOMETHING will land on the page
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comic
#badtober#badtober2024#my art#digital art#batman#bruce wayne#mlp#mlp fim#mlp g4#pinkie pie#mlp pinkie#joker#dc joker#crossover#I really dont know how Ive managed to get this much mileage out of batman X mlp crossover art. Why is my brain stuck on this.#also i cheated a bit for this prompt bc I had that first panel drawn back in August and just made another drawing to turn it into a comic
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shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this
#and by 'everyone' i mean me. im just hoping other people relate lmao#someone asks me about a thing i like and im just like h..................#been thinking about The Character for a solid 6 months+ and let me tell you. expldoeing soon#this is about ffxv btw . how am i supposed to say how much it lives in my brain . i cant think#text#1k#5k#10k#15k#20k#great googly moogly#30k#40k#50k#60k#boooy what da heeel#70k#80k#90k#will this be my first ever post to hit 100k... it remains to be seen#good lord. we did it#100k
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It doesn't matter if that fic has been in your drafts for years and is now self-indulgent to the point of parody. If Steven Moffatt is allowed to do it professionally, you are allowed to do it for fun.
#every time I write I take a peek at my brain and it's just Steven Moffatt in there yes-anding himself#and I have to remind myself that that's okay#I don't know how he got in there but if I am responsible for keeping him captive so be it
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everyone sh. shutd up im cooking smthn
#genshin impact#venti#what am i cooking?? no idea#oh this isnt canon? dont care leave me alone#i remember thinking years ago how badass it would be to have to fight all the archons in reverse order once u get to celestia#like. not that they want to. but celestia or the heavenly principles control them not thru the gnosis but thru their thrones#dont. dont think about it too much i do NOT have enough brains to keep up with accurate lore details#i just want to see venti having lied about being the 'weakest' archon. that bitch has a fucking church theres no way. also gap moe is hhh#fitting to have your first major ally end up being a final-ish boss fight#zilly art
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i feel like one of the weirdest realizations you (or at least i) eventually have a few years into transitioning and being mostly around other trans people, is that moment where u notice that like ur brains mapping of like specific voices to specific genders is just kinda gone. like it rly is just all social constructs programmed into u by society, and living outside societies idea of gender just kinda melts that shit away, and it's not just voices, like other traditionally gendered attributes also suddenly don't matter anymore*
*except for myself of course, i am obviously totally failing at being a girl but everyone is doing it perfectly, dysphoria is so awesome lmao
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that half-blank, half-apocalyptic look
"i can b ur angle or yuor devil" etc etc "get a man who can do both" etc etc
obsessed with this vamp i think he should get to do whatever he wants forever
#my art#interview with the vampire#iwtv#amc iwtv#armand#armand iwtv#scopophobia cw#in s1 the look on 'rashid''s face when daniel asks where hes from is so carefully and calculatedly innocent i like it a lot#then ofc in 2x05 the actor for armand enters what is medically referred to as sicko mode#whats his name actually hold on#assad zaman#goood stuff#what can i say this show is candy for my brain#v funny how armand was literally Just A Guy in the first season but season 2..... holy fuck#i want 100 more episodes of this freak#yes he did all that and i stand with my cancelled wife
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welcome to the world
#crowcraft#dc#kon el#superboy#so many ideas for the tube exit#I KNOW this isn’t how it happened but let me have this. I have things I think about and art is how I get them out before they eat me#this one’s about the moments of dazed confusion. he’d never even felt AIR before do you ever think about that. I think about that all the t#how strange would it be to Know so many things without having experienced them#the few seconds of disconnect here. his brain is firing all his knowledge and a startup ‘hello world’ sequence#but he’s never FELT. ANYTHING before#conner kent#so many strange sensations before it clicks as a ‘huh. so this is air. this is breathing this is thinking this is seeing hearing smelling-‘#ETC. sure babies do this but babies can’t remember shit#IDKK. I JUST THINK AHOUT IT A LOT
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Had a silly thought about hypothetical cat curse shenanigans with @dark-lord-of-awesomeness's How to Cat Burglar a Family ;)
Bonus doodle!!
#I hope ya like? :')#Do living things count as stealable? It seems intent based but I couldnt remember if itd come up. Maybe a philosophical nightmare if it did#just had the mental image of Stanley grabbing Dipper/Mabel from Shermie. turning into a cat & everyone SCRAMBLING to catch the falling baby#Also based on the bit in Gnome Gemulets where Stan mentions fighting off Shermie to keep holding the twins when they were born :]#Though having already co-parented like 2 (3?) kids and not being completely alone like canon Stan. I wonder if/how Cat Stan would differ?#Also Shermie in his leather jacket (or at least another one he transferred the cat patch onto) I loved that bit its so cute 😭#Almost drew Stan as fully grey as a cat but iirc cats don't go grey in the same way as people. So i went with lil grey flecks. Geezer cat#This fic lives rent free in my brain truly 💙💙💙#How to Cat Burglar a Family#Gravity Falls#Fan art#Stanley Pines#Shermie Pines#Stan Pines#Sherman Pines#Grunkle Stan#Fanart#Cat Stan#GF fanart#Comic#Artists on tumblr#My art
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life of regret
#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford#gravity falls#my art#no way . i had all of these tags written out on mobile ab stanford and fiddleford post fallout and it CRASHEDDDD#THEYRE GONEEEWW (slipping thru my fingers like sand)#whag freaking ever . i was just talking about how i always forget theres a pocket of time between their split and fords disappearance#and how crazy it is that i had no idea fidds used the gun on ford until last month#it just unlocked smt in my brain thats all.👐 and then i said i was smashing my head w a rock. maybe even 20❤️#tbh i was neutral on fidds back then but i rly rly like him now T_T .. power of other fidd enjoyers lifting me up#i had a lot of fun coloring this one but i didnt know what exactly i wanted to do w it . i had fidds and the gun all finished#but i was like uhhh.. >added the wrapped light#and then i added a whole bunch of scribbled soc of the blind eye symbols but it was waay too crowded/busy#i wish i couldve found a way to keep them😧 u know when HAHAHAHAH u know those ugly like#math prints of just random equations . thats what it started looking like n i had 2 tap out#editing 2 say i posted this and i had that panic NOOO WAIT ITS JOT FINISHED but I Will be Okay.<say it w me#if i spend too much time on it ill just overwork it and then never share so -__-
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"Oh, how I love white Christmas (❁´◡`❁)" I say, full of delusion. Sweating my ass off in a country that doesn't even snow
#stardew valley#sdv#sdv fanart#sdv harvey#harvey stardew valley#stardew valley harvey#sdv shane#stardew valley shane#shane stardew valley#sdv elliott#stardew valley elliott#elliott stardew valley#sdv jas#jas stardew valley#stardew valley jas#sdv sam#stardew valley sam#sam stardew valley#sdv sebastian#sebastian stardew valley#stardew valley sebastian#sdv abigail#abigail stardew valley#stardew valley abigail#my art#hmmmm#I drew this to fight off the pesky worm in my brain that got me feeling self-critical about my art lately#Like there's always something that looks off...but I also don't know what it is let alone how to fix it 😰#Whatever#hopefully it's just the seasonal stress talking and I'll come to like it after a few months lmao
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“I just wanted you to know that….”
#at this point I should just write a fic about what went on after they all got back to the hospital I have so many thoughts……#I have a legit whole other comic surrounding just Maddie and knuckles floating in my brain#someone come sedate me#his wrists were def sprained at the very least after Shadows attack#thinking so much about how knuckles also has ptsd from losing a loved one and it manifests in a completely different way than Sonic#sth#sonic movie#knuckles wachowski#maddie wachowski#knuckles the echidna#sonic movie 3 spoilers#sonic movie 3#scu
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it is hard to explain but there is something so unwell about the cultural fear of ugliness. the strange quiet irradiation of any imperfect sight. the pores and the stomachs and the legs displaced into a digital trashbin. somehow this effect spilling over - the removal of a grinning strangers in the back of a picture. of placing more-photogenic clouds into a frame. of cleaning up and arranging breakfast plates so the final image is of a table overflowing with surplus - while nobody eats, and instead mimes food moving towards their mouth like tantalus.
ever-thinner ever-more-muscled ever-prettier. your landlord's sticky white paint sprayed over every surface. girlchildren with get-ready-with-me accounts and skincare routines. beige walls and beige floors and beige toys in toddler hands. AI-generated "imagined prettier" birds and bugs and bees.
pretty! fuckable! impossible! straighten teeth. use facetune and lightroom and four other products. remove the cars along the street from the video remove the spraypaint from the garden wall remove the native plants from their home, welcome grass. welcome pretty. let the lot that walmart-still-owns lay fallow and rotting. don't touch that, it's ugly! close your eyes.
erect anti-homelessness spikes. erect anti-bird spikes. now it looks defensive, which is better than protective. put the ramp at the back of the building, you don't want to ruin the aesthetic of anything.
you are a single person in this world, and in this photo! don't let the lives of other people ruin what would otherwise be a shared moment! erase each person from in front of the tourist trap. erase your comfortable shoes and AI generate platforms. you weren't smiling perfectly, smile again. no matter if you had been genuinely enjoying a moment. you are not in a meadow with friends, you're in a catalogue of your own life! smile again! you know what, forget it.
we will just edit the right face in.
#spilled ink#writeblr#warm up#i have more to say about how fundamentally fucked up it is that we associate ugliness with evil#but this is also just like. to get the first part off my chest#and as someone w/an invisible disability#....... yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#(i got too mad and my brain shorted out)
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AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
#actually adhd#actually autistic#audhd#aphelion.txt#ik 'adhd brain' vs 'autism brain' is a gross oversimplification especially given how much overlap there can be#but it at least helps me conceptualize wtf is going on in my head when i do this lol#and yeah i'm mostly referring to fandoms in this post but it can happen w more 'Traditional' special interests too#like my linguistics special interest which hasn't popped up in a couple years now but whenever it does#i will fill literal notebooks while studying 4 languages at once and simultaneously inventing a conlang#and then i'll be like Ok that was fun! and several months later im deleting like. 2gb of textbooks off my iphone to make room for an update#And sometimes yeah there is a precipitating event like 'Oh something new happened in X fandom with my blorbo!' but sometimes it's like#yeah. no. idk either. switch got flipped in my brain and X no longer sparks joy. only Y rn. how come it's Y? yeah idk i also wish i knew#i don't think any of this is actually an uncommon experience for people with these types of neurodivergencies it's just.#the severity of abruptness and TOTALITY of the switch that makes me feel like a weirdo sometimes lol#like I'M getting mental whiplash from this sometimes. idk how y'all are still following my blog
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*proceeds to drink the whole bottle*
Yeah Alastor you're gonna be loved and appreciated wether you want it or not :)
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin alastor#hazbin rosie#radiorose#platonic radiorose#qpr radiorose#even tho they have no idea what label to put on their relationship at this point#hazbin comic#comic#my art#autodesk sketchbook#it probably looks ooc from alastor to react like this but poor man has only learned his whole life that relationships have a hierarchy#“marriage > a simple friendship” in his brain and it's confusing for him that Rosie would put her friendship with him over that#also Rosie was pissed of how terrible her date went and as soon as she comes home Alastor sides with her ex husband#just to explain why she got angry so quickly basically they couldnt really understand each other that's why they got angry#I love cute fluffy radiorose but its good to see them argue sometimes eheh#I needed to get this idea out of my system and made it into a whole comic
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uh-huh
#I NEEEEEED TO GET COMFORTABLE SHARING SILLY DOODLES AGAIN idk why i stopped#my art#firestar#fireheart#sandstorm#waca#wc art#warrior cats#warriors#in my brain im doing a backflip. u guys just have to trust me its really cool#half of this is me poking fun at myself LOL u guys know how it is
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