#it's just so interesting bc like the only time in my life I was being sexualized or viewed as attractive was as a literal child

[bilbao-song]

okay at long last (i wanted to do this at least a little sooner but by the end of last night i was so sleep deprived my brain was not functional): jeffrey in boston on the 23rd!!! (really in-depth PARAGRAPHS of rambling below the cut so you only have to look at it if u want to, otherwise just enjoy the photos lmao)

so. hmmmm what to say about this lmao (the first two paragraphs are probably least important here if u don't want to read All Of That)

all of this was like.....................a dream. like i know talking about this makes me sound like Insane Person Whose Life Revolves Around Concertgoing (although that's kind of just the truth tbh) but being THIS close was like...THE dream to me. or at least the most realistically attainable dream we got there a liiiittle after the opening band had started (they are pretty great btw? i approve. like i'm genuinely excited to see them lol) and i'm not sure what the problem was tbh!! we arrived at a perfectly reasonable time but then everyone got corralled into a giant line that like, looped around itself and wrapped around the block. so that took like ~25 minutes to get through. anywayyy i got one of the ???people who work there (there's a word for this that is escaping me atm) to help me find my seat bc things were of course a bit chaotic by that point and well...........that was a positively magical little jaunt as we got closer and closer and i just kind of lost my mind. my seat was in the third row riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight in the middle. like, perfectly in the middle. it could hardly have been any better :'))))

so! i sat there by myself which felt a little strange bc although i do like doing things on my own i have just never done this before. the only other concert i have been to where i sat basically by myself was like, a thing i got to go to bc someone gave me their extra ticket (air supply! which was fun but like, i only went bc it just came up. no disrespect to air supply lmao) and even then the person next to me was like, super nice and also clearly entertained by my dedication to older music (always exquisite to encounter someone who genuinely wants to hear about ur interests. like once you manage to convince me you're asking out of genuine interest the floodgates are OPEN) but anyway!!! the strangers in the elo mosh pit did not talk to me. this was fine but i was a tiny bit surprised bc everyone has been pretty chatty at the other ones i have been to...as an aside i was repeatedly given the impression that the people directly behind me were kind of mean (consistently not shutting up during the opening act, loudly making rude comments about them, just kind......whining a lot lmao) so i'm 100000% good with not talking to them lol

ANYWAY...onto the important part. sitting through the little intermission was excruciating and kind of went by too quickly bc i kind of did not want the concert to start bc the sooner it started the sooner it was over </3 but it was fun to be sooo close bc i enjoyed watching the crew set everything up and adjusting things and putting jeffrey's little table directly in front of me and whatnot 🥺 but then it started and it was like..............surreal. it quickly became clear that i really had chosen like the absolute perfect seat bc a) the two people in front of me were really short. thank god (the jackasses behind me were also at least a little taller than me so i'm happy for them and was not sorry for standing in front of them in my huge shoes) b) jeffrey directly in front of me. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) again this was like. SURREAL to me in a way bc it's just!!! the best yet and also 💕🥹💕🥹💕🥹 of course. i have been at least slightly pleasantly surprised by my seats at each one i've been to on this tour but even here i experienced that bc i did think i would be off to the side at least a tiiiiny bit...but no it was actually perfect. exquisite. like, i'm really truly not one of those overly-idolizing/Lose Your Mind Over Proximity To Famous Person types but well. i mean if you have read this far i'm sure you are already well aware of how i feel about him lmao

moving forward......bringing this up makes me feel weird bc it sounds so......well. you know. but ummmmm eye contact was definitely established repeatedly 🥺👉👈 looking at me and smiling adorably...........like, this is no exceptional credit to me or anything bc like...what else is he supposed to look at. i was very directly in his field of vision and significantly taller than the two people in front of me lol so he would have had to go to great lengths not to look at me at all. but ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god???????? it was also kind of hilarious bc it did very muchly keep triggering my insane reflex to look AWAY from people when they make eye contact with me so i had to keep consciously correcting that bc like ????? HELLO lmao. but it was just!!!!!!!! very sweet!!!!!!!!! he was very smiley and adorable. typical...........i could opine on this further but i shan't at the risk of sounding insane. but like this alone was worth it to me sdjkhsjkhsd. felt Nice!!!!!!!!

anyway hmmm what else. well it was just spectacular but u already knew that. his voice has sounded remarkably perfect at each of these shows and that really stands out to me bc i just love that :') i also just love that he's repeatedly absolutely killing it, most importantly just because like, of course!! yay!! but also bc for awhile there was like, a cluster of very weird naysayers within the general community (which involved some kind of disgusting behavior imo but i won't go into detail about that bc like, why rehash it when it's both negative and profoundly ridiculous) and every single concert is just a really beautiful little I Told You So to those people which is SO satisfying to me bc i love to see that sort of thing getting thoroughly shut down and also slightly in part bc i love when i'm right and rude people who i don't like are wrong but that's as snarky as i will allow myself to be in an otherwise very happy post. <3 but i like. idk i just knew. and everyone else who isnt absolutely bonkers did too but well. etc etc etc

as a final note!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! idk i loved it. and i'm so glad that i get to go to the phoenix one as well bc although i'm already getting a little emo about this (........i was already a slight mess after the one in indianapolis tbh) i do think that's like, the only thing that's keeping me from losing it entirely lmao. i feel super lucky to have done all of this and i am having a very very very very very good time

[beeduoo]

originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins

[lala-blahblah]

I will never make this because it would be for an audience of one (me) but ever since reading "If we Were Villains" (story about serious drama kids in college who perform shakespeare and deal with a murder) I have been entertaining the thought of a crack fic crossover with High School Musical The Musical The Series where the staff decides they will no longer put on shakespeare after the tragic accident that happened at Thanksgiving, because Shakespeare plays would only increase the tension and drama. So they hire Ms. Jen who decides their spring play will actually be High School Musical (which exists in the 90s in this universe) and it ruins the vibe so much that everyone gives up on being dark and mysterious because they're universally pissed at Ms Jen for making them learn choreoraphed basketball dancing.

[bunnihearted]

i've also realized that there is no therapy that can fix what's broken inside of me

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

No but something I love is how fucking loyal Miklan really is (in Hopes specifically since we don't have enough information in Houses).

At the camp, he takes his job seriously. Very seriously. He doesn't act begrudging or like he's just doing anything by force. As the chapters go on he not only goes from relatively aloof to a full fledged commander (which is great development in that span of chapters btw considering how fast the story has to progress) and one who fights for Faerghus because he wants to (why would he reassure the player that he's going to, literally, hold down the fort? Why doesn't he flee when his life is in immediate danger despite that Dimtiri prefers his allies to flee and save their lives over sacrificing themselves? Why does he like helping citizens who had their lands destroyed by the war, despite being a bandit who used to plunge towns just like those?).

At any time when the Empire was attacking, he could've surrendered and even joined their side because of not liking Faerghus and its people... if he didn't like Faerghus and its people. Also, someone brought this up to me once that Miklan likely has family in the Empire still, because his mother was from the Empire. He had a perfectly good out that wouldn't even necessarily be considered treason to Faerghus, i.e. surrendering and going to the Empire to protect that side of his family.

He doesn't. He dies for Faerghus. It was both a matter of honor due to the fact that he was finally living the life he always should've been and wanted to be respected for that, and also his loyalty that followed in the past's wrongs being righted. No matter what you think of Miklan post disinheritance, he was the heir who was removed because he didn't have a Crest. All over just that, despite that Sylvain having a Crest never meant they didn't still have someone capable of fighting off Sreng invasions.

They had someone able to wield the Lance of Ruin, so why did it matter if he was officially the heir? Miklan felt like his life was stolen from him (and I'm not saying what he did to Sylvain was okay either). Dimitri gave him all of that back and he started to become loyal to Faerghus and its king because Dimitri was giving the chance even the man's own father never gave him from the moment Sylvain was determined to have a Crest.

What happened in his life before Dimitri had him brought to him as soon as he became king is, in a way, almost like it never happened as far as Miklan's behavior. It was obviously there at first, but over time it's like it never happened. That is, if someone met him and didn't know about his past, by chapter 9 they'd never even know he'd had that history. He was the person he would've been years ago if he hadn't been disinherited, which led to the mess that led to him being disowned (and he says he just "left", but Matthias doesn't mince facts. At all. If that had been the case he wouldn't just say he disowned him. He would admit Miklan ran away. That means Miklan claims he left as a means of coping and trying to convince other people that it was his choice and not forced on him).

Miklan became a lot more loyal than he's ever given credit for, both in the game and in the fandom. Gwendal did recognize it, but that's about all we're given.

Gwendal corrected himself when Miklan died, referring to him instead as Sir Miklan instead of the insults he was spewing during their fight which were very clearly pissing Miklan off; but Miklan kept fighting and defending the fort, not just because he wanted to prove Gwendal wrong but because he was here because he was pulled out of his life as a bandit. The people he was defending the fort for were the people who effectively gave him his life back.

Basically, he would've been there in that fort defending it anyway if he had lived the life he should have to begin with. If his value was acknowledged all along, he would've been defending the most important fort in Faerghus all along (if this exact scenario occurred and everything was the same except him being disowned in the first place). He would be there being the commander and fighter he was supposed to be.

Mind you, it was the king himself who gave him that chance, meaning the person who reigns over Faerghus and has the most power to change whatever the hell he wants - including how people with Crests and without are treated. Miklan was part of a fight to better their society and be part of the new generation taking over. Nobody could truly change things unless the king - the top power - had the thought to change them (not saying Lambert thought the political climate was good the way it was, but he clearly had other priorities and it didn't seem to be something weighing on his mind. He may not have even truly noticed the problems and power discrepancies because he was so focused on other things).

However, the moment the king thought to change all that old stuff, Miklan was one of the first people who came to mind, and one of the first people he took action regarding, to integrate into his new army (and he even mentioned completely rearranging his army and whatnot, and then we find out he had Miklan located basically right after becoming king. We had a two year timeskip and Miklan had been there for those two years because of how soon after Dimitri was crowned that he had decided to bring Miklan back and give him another chance).

If the king sought to change things and was taking active action to prove it, that was something Miklan could see and realize was actually going to happen. It wasn't a blind trust - he could see Dimitri was actually doing it. He had a reason to be able to trust him with this.

He was also able to trust the people who were watching over him, i.e. the people Dimitri had making sure he didn't revert back to any sort of banditry. Those people could have easily faked it, made up that he did something and that they had killed him on the spot. Dimitri trusted those people not to do that of course, but those people were not told to bring him to Dimitri if he did anything. They were told to apprehend him and kill him immediately (which is reasonable, given what he'd done in the past, and they wouldn't want to try to wait to get Dimitri over to wherever they were. If Miklan escaped in that time, they'd just have a big problem on their hands).

So that is to say, those people could've just faked it at any point and killed him. They didn't. They, like Dimitri, were willing to give him another chance provided he didn't do anything bad.

The same goes for Felix and everyone else who had qualms about him being allowed into their army. Dimitri explicitly stated if anyone had issues with his appointment as a commander to "by all means" kill him themselves. He literally made it an open option for his friends to just up and kill him if they truly couldn't forgive him (which at that point was more reasonable of a time because the war was still new and people didn't know if they could trust him with this specific appointment yet. By later in the story I don't think it would have been as reasonable for someone to try to kill him after he'd already been proving himself).

In other words, nobody did it. Everyone, literally everyone, backed off and respected Dimitri's decision (and technically Sylvain and Matthias' as well). None of those people, even when given open opportunity, turned a weapon on him. Not one. These people all gave him a chance. These are the same people he died fighting for, and for himself to be able to feel like he was fighting and dying for what he would have to begin with if he hadn't been disinherited - Faerghus and its people.

In the end Miklan was in both rank and heart a top ranking commander of Faerghus and he both appreciated it and knew he appreciated it. He was looking forward to the future Dimitri would bring, basically saying that he thinks Dimitri is a fool ("weak-willed") for it but that he now believes in it too. If anyone wants to try arguing those points, I have receipts as the young folk call them, fresh from Miklan himself about his feelings about it as spoken to Catherine and Shamir!

Miklan fought for the future he was hoping to see, and he died protecting that future. Again, not something he by any means whatsoever had to do. He was tasked with guarding the fortress, but was never told to lay down his life defending it. After years and years of being hateful and angry, he finally had some peace of mind and hope for what he could be. He was loyal to Dimitri in the end because Dimitri was loyal to him - that is, he kept his word and Miklan was able to thrive in Dimitri's society without being a bandit or having to worry about his future because of his status.

Like Dimitri said, the only thing holding him down by that point were his past mistakes. It was up to Miklan to do something about that for himself with the opportunity he was given to fix it. Dimitri said here, fix it, and Miklan said okay, and worked to fix it. For me the saddest part is that he didn't even get enough time to properly fix it and be able to be free of his past. He died for Faerghus though, with his dying words being that he was able to buy them time (to arrive and fight back against the attacking Empire). That's not something someone who holds a resentful grudge would say in their last moments. He was grateful he managed to buy the other fighters time, even though it cost him his life.

hopes was a dumpster fire a whole lot of times but its incorporation of miklan into the plot was not one of them. miklan fire emblem my love you will live on in my heart and in my fics. i am also deeply grateful to hopes for uh i guess hopes-canonizing (hopesonizing???) basically every one of my headcanons about him before the game came out.

[menlove]

going from a pretty child to a mid teen to an ugly adult has to be the greatest joke of my life but it humbled me good so there's that

[hella1975]

honestly seeing you mention sikh society is so funny bc sikh people LOVE showing their culture! i work with a lot of sikh men and they're always bringing food into work and just love being asked culture. im chinese and they're always asking questions as well- cultural exchange is such a personal thing and imo one of the easiest ways to build a relationship

literally!!!!!! and your last comment is so important bc the reason i made that post is bc i actually found myself guilty of the tiktok mindset WITH one of the chefs at work. he's spanish and has quite a heavy accent and for a long time i really dithered on asking him where he was from (bc all i knew from his accent was that it was european which. doesnt really help) and in my head i was doing it bc i didnt want to 'other' him, but in the end my mum actually said to me that being clearly uncertain around him and NOT addressing the fact we clearly come from different places was actually making things worse, and i was so so pissed off at myself bc she was right. and you know what? i asked him not long ago in the end where he was from, and he lit up. we went back and forth about the spanish and the english and we ribbed each other but it felt like the weird tension existing in all our interactions up until that point had lifted and now he makes a point to come over and chat to me at work. and that tension wasn't there bc i DISLIKED his potential culture or felt actually UNCOMFORTABLE around him, it existed because i demonised my own curiosity and genuine desire to know about him as a person and let myself be a little freak about it instead. like????? it's so fucked up that this is becoming such a normalised thing!!!!

[spocks-kaathyra]

.

[starlooove]

I rlly liked red hood the hill bc besides the gift it completely ignored everything else with the batfam which to meeee I’m taking it as the hill has been overlooked by the bats forever (see Orpheus rising) so yeah nobody there gives a fuck about those people and jason knows better than to bring that shit over there

[screechingsandwichhologram]

my uninformed american opinion is that i will be calling it derry not londonderry because im american and therefore will always support ireland if its ireland vs the british.

(i wasn't even going to post this but i wrote a whole essay in the tags so i don't want to waste that)

[fell-the-aristocracy]

sometimes i Understand ppl who hate spoilers but also sometimes i just. man. i am not smart enough and have too much whimsy in my heart. current example.

i am Aware of so many spoilers for orv. i see them. i will get to them. i will acknowledge them as i get to them. some of them are technically Why i started reading in the first place.

this does not mean i have any fuckin idea what in the good gd damn is happening Right Now. spoilers mean nothing to me if i have rocks in my head??

[rivilu]

disjointed fandom posting sorry but it just hit me that pwotr is like. the only rpg where a companion never once left my team

[discoreptile]

Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!

[bunnihearted]

🐰🌧️

[toastsnaffler]

sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(

[moe-broey]

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