#replies appreciated. btw. in the interest of asking for what I want instead of expecting ppl to read my mind lmao

[spocks-kaathyra]

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[realcube]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJE29FG7/

omg i hope u can open the link and see the tiktok i just wanted to share bc it’s so fucking funny. i could def see bokuto, noya, tanaka, or anyone else u can think of sobbing LOL

IRVEBLVGAETZ wait the video was so precious and funny AAAAA 🥺 thank you so much for sharing, anon 🙏

AND YES thEY would!! so i humbly offer you this 

tw// zombies, crying, swearing. mentions of shooting

Kōtarō Bokuto 

you jokingly asked him if he’d leave if you got turned into a zombie and he said HELL NO 

if you’re a zombie then he’ll become a zombie too periodt

akaashi constantly plays the mom friend like ‘if (y/n) jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?’ an bokuto is like ‘fuck yea i would’

but then he was like (with the puppy eyes btw) ‘if i got turned into a zombie, would you leave me, puppy?’

you shook your head, slowly wrapping your arms around his waist and looking up at him, ‘no, kō. in fact, i would handcuff myself to you so you don’t cause any trouble.’

you expected him to chuckle and maybe give you a lil’ kiss but instead he pushed you back onto the couch, so you were laying down and he was on top of you with his head buried in your chest

‘but what if i try to eat your brain?’ bokuto muttered, the cloth of your shirt muffling his sniffles

you shrugged, your hand making its way up his spine to rub his back soothingly, ‘you do that everyday anyway.’

bokuto let out a deep bawl

‘i was joking!’ you cried, thinking that he was crying bc you said he eats at your brain lol

bokuto shook his head, pulling his face back from your chest to reveal his quivering lips, damp puppy-eyes and shiny nose , ‘you’re so damn sweet, (y/n)!’ he howled then hastily concealed his face with your chest 

you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, ‘wow, kō. are you really crying because i said i’ll stay with you during the zombie apocalypse- you’re my boyfriend, what do you expect?’

bokuto sighed, quickly calming himself until his wails were nothing but sniffs, then he choked out, ‘but if you’d stick with me through the end of the world, you’d stick with me through anything else, right? like..if i broke my dick- or if i couldn’t play volleyball anymore?’

geez.

he read into that a lot more than you thought he would 

‘oh, yeah- i’ll be with you during anything and everything, don’t worry.’

that was enough to make bokuto start crying again, ‘I DON’T DESERVE YOU, (Y/N)!!’

Yū Nishinoya

ok- y’all aren’t dating yet 

but he has a MASSSSSIVE crush on you and he makes it very obvious

he simps for you on the daily but you always brush off his advances as playful banter or his naturally flirtatious manner

but you secretly really want to be with him but you don’t want to get into a relationship with him just for him to lose interest and start simping for someone else bc you saw how quickly he shifted from kiyoko to you and you don’t want to get attached just in case he shifts again

and you are both really good friends so now noya has almost given up on trying to woo you as he’s realised that he might be too far in the friendzone

so you’re just out together at the park as friends and you’re on your phone while noya just stares at the sunset, appreciating your presence 

you see ^that^ tiktok on your fyp but you’re single so you try it out on noya

‘what would you do if i got turned into a zombie?’

noya didn’t even bother to ask about the motives of your question and instead he just replied, ‘i’d find a cure and turn you back into yourself!’ like the little optimist he is

you felt a light blush spread across your cheeks and noya clearly noticed it too bc his lips curled into a bright, smug grin 

so you felt the need to respond rather harshly to make sure he knew that you weren’t falling for him or anything despite the fact, you were falling for him ‘easier said than done, genius. what did you get on your last chemistry test again?-oh and your biology one too?’

nishinoya’s bottom lips jutted out to form a pout, ‘well, in that case, i’d make a cage and trap you inside. then i’d go save the world and shit by killing all the other zombies and once society starts rebuilding itself, i’ll wait until one of the science-y dudes makes a cure then i’d come back to your cage and give it to you.’

honestly, you couldn’t even argue with him 

if anyone was gonna save the world from zombies, it’d be noya 

‘anyway, what would you do if i became a zombie, (y/n)?’ 

you paused for a second, tapping your chin with your index finger while thinking then said, ‘i don’t think i could make a cure so i guess i’d just handcuff myself to you so i don’t lose you then figure something out.’

noya literally passed away - with happiness ofc

he was already smiling but now his smile was 10x brighter

‘(Y/N)! SERIOUSLY?! YOU’D DO THAT FOR ME?! WHY?!’ he basically screamed, surprised that you’d say something so sweet since ngl he was really expecting you to say that you’d drop-kick him into the sun, in that situation 

you nodded, ‘yeah, of course. y’know, i’d hate to lose you, noya - even if you are trying to eat my brain.’

a small gasp escaped your mouth as noya flung both of his arms around you and wailed, ‘I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, (Y/N)!!’

you never really thought that your first time telling nishinoya that you love him would be before y’all were dating bc of a zombie hypothetical but..you did it anyway :)))

oh and needless to say, you went on your first date the following day

Ryūnosuke Tanaka

you sit in his lap and watch tiktoks while he peers over your shoulder so he saw the video too lol

he was like ‘pfft. geez why is that guy crying over something like that? pussy alert.’

but then, knowing that he saw the video, you hummed, ‘same!’ then turned your body to face his and caress his cheek, ‘there’s no way i’d be able to leave you, baby. so your zombie-self can have fun dealing with my ass for the rest of your undead life.’

dude he was in tears-

in his own words, pussy alert 

‘you’d be doing me a favour, babe.’ he said shakily, trying his best to hide the fact he was on the verge of bawling his eyes out 

also, you’re not allowed to leave his lap until the sunrises now

he loves you too much to let you go - even to bathroom or kitchen

you’ll have to pry your hips out of his firm grip so good luck with that 

[twstdreams]

The Draught of Sleeping Death ask was so interesting (and kinda angsty but in a good way!)! Could I please request a part 2 for when their crush actually wakes up after? Thank you! (btw i reread the request and you kinda forgot Jack so if you could plz add both of his reactions to when they drink it and when they wake up i’d appreciate it!)

Please reach out to your local crisis line if you experience any suicidal ideation like wanting to put yourself into a coma!

Here is the previous part! I decided to make scenarios that ended being a bit more difficult than I expected, but I’m pretty happy with it. I hope no one is out of character. Here is some more bittersweet moments and angst! 

Warning: Suicidal and suicidal-esque ideation, attempted comatose state via potion, poor mental health, long post

Ruggie Bucchi

He waits and waits. Your chest continues to rise and fall as any person would. Each moment is excruciating. Even if you had amnesia and forgot all about him, that would be okay as long as you opened your eyes. Suddenly, you sneeze. Ruggie throws his arms around you. He almost wants to laugh. Of course, you wake up sneezing, not fluttering eyes or a gentle smile but a sneeze. 

“Ruggie?” you call out his name gently, surprised to find yourself in his fierce embrace with him clinging onto you so tightly. You ask what’s wrong and he explains your predicament.

“What?!” you shriek, wide-eyed and jaw open. You must have messed up your potion or drank the one wrong because all you wanted was something to give you restful sleep, not a permanent coma. 

“Tch, I can’t believe you drank something so dangerous!” Ruggie chides you for being so careless, making a mental note to take care of you to ensure something like this never happened again. He gently pokes your cheek as if to punish you, but the way you respond with a pout fills him with more relief than he cares to admit. Only the conscious can react after all.

“Wait, does... doesn’t that mean you’re my true love?” you murmur. Soon enough both of your cheeks are painted a blush to rival sunsets in the Afterglow Savannah but a smile worms its way onto your face.

“I’m glad it’s you.” You both share the same sentiment. You pepper his face with butterfly kisses while teasing him about being your knight in shining armour. Each peck helps soothe his heart and reaffirm that you are indeed alive and well.

Leona Kingscholar

His tail waves back and forth as he impatiently waits for any signs of consciousness. It feels like the universe is getting back at him, telling Leona that it’s his turn to wait. The more time passes, the more he wants to curse at the world. It gave him nothing. Not the crown, not the understanding of his family, not the adoration of his people, and now it wouldn’t even let him have you. He stares at the window, unable to bear looking at your body any longer. Almost as if he looked away, he wouldn’t have to accept the possibility that you would remain in an eternal slumber.

“Leona?” your voice croaks and he whips around so fast you’re surprised his neck doesn’t hurt.

“It’s you? You love me?” you ask but you’re met with a grimace from Leona. He knows you know. And since you know that true love’s kiss is the only way to break the spell, it meant you purposefully drank the potion.

“Why?” It’s not a roar. It’s not a demand. It’s barely a question. It’s a whisper to the wind but requires an answer nonetheless.

“I just...I just wanted the pain to end,” you reply, voice cracking halfway through, “It was so much. Too much.” Tears begin welling in your eyes. Just remembering your desolate state when you drank the potion out of sheer desperation threatens to spiral your fragile stability.

“Do I look weak? Dumb?” Leona murmurs. You think it’s supposed to come out as annoyed but his words are too thick with emotion to disguise his sadness.

“No? That’s not what I... What?” You can’t understand what he’s saying and the tears begin to fall down freely from your face. 

“Then, you should share it with me,” he says firmly while sitting down beside you on the bed.

“It?” you repeat while sniffling.

“Anything, everything,” Leona pauses as if carefully considering his words. He suddenly pulls you into a hug, placing your head against his chest. To your surprise, his heart is hammering and you know you’re the cause.

“Your pain, your struggles,” the words are lodged in his throat and Leona struggles not to clam up. He hates being vulnerable, he despises leaving his heart out in the open, practically begging to be stabbed. But he knows that’s what contributed to this mess in the first place. And it hurts. Your eyes are brimming with tears that he caused. So he forges on even if his words are gruff, “You don’t have to do it alone.”

“Promise?” 

“Yeah.” He kisses your forehead to affirm his answer. And then you hold him tightly and cry freely. Your burdens are still heavy and there are some battles you know Leona cannot fight for you. However, you find comfort in his embrace and in the knowledge that he will hold your hand through all the trials. 

Kalim Al Asim

“Hey, hey are you awake?” he asks desperately. You have to wake up. How else are you supposed to go on magic carpet rides with him? Didn’t you say you were excited for Bean day? Weren’t you excited to try out that new cake from the café downtown?

He calls out your name again and again while giving your shoulder a little shake. When your eyes begin to open, Kalim throws himself at you. Tears fall freely from his eyes.

“I’m so glad you’re awake!” It’s a mess as he alternates between sobs and exclamations of happiness. You barely have time to react and pat him on the back.

“Yeah, thanks to you,” you reassure softly. It’s not exactly ideal to have Kalim crying but you’re happy to know he cares so much.

“You know, I’m your true love, right?” he asks, staring you into your eyes with his ruby ones. The bold declaration makes you blush but you nod anyway, “So depend on me okay? I’m here for whatever you need! Anytime! Anywhere! If you’re ever worried, we can sing and dance our troubles away!”

“And if singing and dancing aren’t enough?” Your question doesn’t come from a place of malice but Kalim is silent for a moment while digesting your words.

“Then we can eat, or go on a magic carpet ride!” he responds with confidence, “And if that doesn’t work, we’ll try something else! I won’t give up until you smile!” Tears streak his cheeks, his outfit is a mess, yet you believe him anyway. He brings a shaky grin to your lips.

“Okay.” You give your tear-stained lover a soft kiss. “We’re in this together.”

A couple days pass and yet Kalim asks nothing about the incidence. He simply reminds you that he is here whenever you need and that he adores you. You keep waiting for the inevitable interrogation but it never comes.

“Aren’t you going to ask me about what happened?” you inquire one day while on a carpet ride, knowing that your words will only reach Kalim’s ears and no one else’s.

“I want to.” He answers so quickly that you’re caught off guard, but his next words steal your breath away. “I was going to ask, but I didn’t want to make you sad. I know that... that you were really sad and suffering. And that every time someone brings it up, your smile goes away.” 

He hums out loud while trying to parse together a sentence to express his feelings. Kalim doesn’t want to be oblivious to your feelings and risk destroying this relationship. He wants to do better this time. He wants to be better.

“I ... I don’t know how to ask without hurting you. So, you can just tell me when you’re ready and I’ll listen!” You feel so much relief. You embrace him in a tight hug and murmur words of thanks.

Jamil Viper

There’s a war in Jamil’s heart. Hope dangerously swells within it, wishing that you would wake up. Doubt creeps on the edges, whispering about how his flimsy feelings wouldn’t shake you from the coma’s grasp. He doesn’t know which half is right and the wait is antagonizing.

Your fingers twitch and he calls out your name softly. He wants you to wake up so badly, he can’t even deny it. The amount of emotion eating away at him is unbearable yet it would all be worth it if you only opened your eyes. You who listened. You who understood. You who offered a hand when asked. You who respected his space. You who lit up with a smile whenever he offered you a dish. You who always insisted on cleaning the dishes as payment. You who would drop by with a thermos of tea or a cup of water to make sure he was taking care of himself too. You, whose name is etched in his heart, even if he has trouble admitting it aloud.

Your hand lightly squeezes his own and he intertwines his fingers with yours. He’s never found hand-holding so comforting until now. You’re tired but you try to bring a feeble grin to your face for his sake.

Jamil has so many questions but he starts with the most important one, “How are you feeling?” Your lips press tightly together and you tear your eyes away from his gaze. He squeezes your hand a little but says nothing else.

“I’m sorry.” Your voice wobbles but your words are sincere. His thumb traces circles in the back of your palm, allowing you the decision to continue or not.

“I...” Words are so hard, but you want him to know. Jamil came to your side, didn’t he? He is your true love, isn’t he? You gulp a bit and allow yourself some time to gather courage.

“I, I wanted control. I hate feeling like I can’t control anything. Like this is the only way I can decide for myself, and ...” But words fail you as tears begin falling from your eyes. It’s too much. You can’t decide if you hate yourself or the world more. 

Your words cause his chest to feel tight. Oh he knows, he knows. The desperation, the fear, the anger, the hatred, all emotions that are familiar to him. There is nothing more soul-crushing than to lose control over your own life.

Jamil stays silent, unwilling to offer up empty promises and words laced with pity. Instead, he kisses your tears away. It’s unusually tender, but rather than risk the wrong words, Jamil decides to let actions speak for themselves. He lets each soft peck convey his love, his presence, his commitment. And slowly but surely, your waterfall of tears decreases to a trickle and then nothing at all. 

Jack Howl

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up! WAKE UP!

It’s the only thing he can think of as he stares at your resting form. Jack has never felt so powerless before. No matter how much he trains, it won’t amount to anything because it’s not a magical skill that will bring you back. It’s true love. True love’s kiss. The one thing he doubts he can give you. The one thing no one has managed to give you.

His eyes widen as he hears your breathing begin to increase. Your slow steady pace starts to quicken and his own heart is hammering in his chest. Are you waking up? Jack kneels beside your bed and watches expectantly. Your eyes open to meet your golden ones. Your arms reach out to him tentatively, wondering if he’s merely an illusion. To your surprise, strong arms embrace your body and his hair tickles your skin.

“Jack,” you call out softly and the twitch of his tail lets you know he heard you. However, he says nothing. You expect a couple swift and blunt statements about your idiotic actions but they never come. Instead, with your bodies pressed together, you can feel him tremble. It’s faint, but he’s more shaken than you’ve ever seen Jack. Angry, indignant, confident, embarrassed, and righteous were all emotions you’d seen Jack wear but this was the first time you’d seen him so unsure about someone else. 

“Thank you,” you add, unsure what other sentiments you should share. You worry declarations of any feeling deeper than gratitude will end the moment and Jack will shirk away at such strong emotions. You tighten your grip, hoping at least you can relish in this hug and the comfort it brings.

Jack loosens his hold so he can look straight into your eyes. His gaze is so intense that you want to avert your own yet find yourself unable to do anything but look back. Your name leaves his lips, soft but firm and undeniable. You nod slightly and wait for him to continue.

“I ... you ... that is,” Jack clenches his jaw but pushes forward past his uncertainties and lingering cowardice, “You ... You give me purpose.” You let out a gasp. Jack knows it’s dangerous to attach purpose to someone else, to give them so much power over himself. He’s always wanted to be a man with a true core purpose and your slumber made him realize that it was you. When you were under that spell, he fell apart and that’s why he’s so sure. 

The weight of his words is not lost on you. It’s nothing short of a confession of love that makes your eyes shine with unshed tears. You’re amazed at the depth of his feelings and how far you two have come.

“I love you.” Your words are simple and clear, delivered with a sincere smile. Even though Jack knows this, you are his true love after all, it still manages to make him blush. You let out a small laugh but before Jack can retort, you seal his lips with a kiss.

[hybridequalist]

Thinking Out Loud (Part 5)

I live! I write! It’s here!

Previous Chapter (tumblr link)

Taglist (Lemme know if you wanna join this, btw):  @nesli26, @manga-crazy, @venomemes, @galleyleelol, @makingtimemine, @jackie-sugarskull, @nightshade7117, @skysthelimit291, @randomshizzles101, @inumorph, @snow-massacre, @phantom-fangirl-stuff, @pixellated-sparks, @vsalamandor2, @otaku-mai, @snarky-badger

Your legs were bouncing as you sat in Lauren’s front seat, staring blankly out the window. You were focused on your breathing techniques to settle yourself, settle your pre-outing jitters. It had been a surprise, after all.

Eddie had called earlier and asked if you were available for a rescheduled lunch outing. You’d given the affirmative and Lauren had helpfully offered to bring you downtown to the cafe on the way to some errands she needed to run. You knew that she was offering just to be nice and give you some comfort and more time to transition to being in a social situation, but you appreciated it...even if it felt like your mom driving you to a High School dance.

The car halted at a stoplight and you automatically glanced at your landlady, just in case she wanted to talk to you.

Her finger tapped the steering wheel before she twisted to look at you, signing “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“If I’m not,” you sign back, “you’ll be the first to know. Just keep your phone close. But I think I’ll be okay. Eddie is nice.”

Lauren gave you a meaningful glance as the light turned green. Her thoughts reflected the look, full of a fierce protectiveness, one that all but screamed "if he makes you uncomfortable I will end him."

You fidgeted, tugging at the edge of your frilled blouse. You’d wanted to dress up since it was the first time in a while that you had gone out with a friend, but you were starting to remember why you never wore your nicer clothes: they were itchy and still felt too new. Just the minor friction of the less-than-comfortable fabric was stressing your nerves even more.

You took notice of the anxious energy building and took a few deep breaths before resuming the meditation breathing pattern you had learned in one of your infrequent therapy sessions. After a few minutes of focus, your heart rate slowed and you felt more grounded. You glanced away from your feet and out the window, realizing that Lauren was now looking for a parking space or some free pavement space to drop you off.

You pulled out your phone and started typing.

We just made it. Looking for a spot to stop.

Your phone indicated that Eddie had read the text. You pulled down the sunshade and checked your appearance, fiddling with the microscopic flaws that had developed.

This might be a meeting between friends, but Eddie was still a relatively new acquaintance--he was still investigating you and deciding what labels to give you. It was a time to put your best foot forward. Especially since he'd gotten a glimpse of your...issues.

You glanced at your phone, expecting to see the beginning indication of a return text, but instead you heard some muffled shouting. You automatically turned your head towards the sidewalk and saw a familiar figure waving at the car from the street.

“ EDDIE! SHE SAW US! CAN YOU  HEAR US?!”

The mental yelling rang through your skull, making you wince a little at the invisible volume. You waved out at them and tapped Lauren on the shoulder before she crossed the intersection.

“Eddie is over there,” you pointed out, letting her take the time to follow your gestures and resume looking back at you. “I’ll get out here. I will call your phone if I need to get picked up and text you the details.”

“If it vibrates, I’m turning right back around,” she promised. The two of you shared a quick hug before you unbuckled yourself and stepped out. Careful of other cars, you quickly speedwalked over to the sidewalk where your friends waited.

“Good to see you again,” Eddie greeted you, lifting his hand for a high five. You smiled and reciprocated.

“ DON’T IGNORE ME ,” Venom complained, sounding for all the world like a kicked puppy. You reached up and patted the sleeve of Eddie’s jacket, where you knew the alien was hiding. The preening feeling from Venom’s thoughts made you want to laugh aloud.

“So...lunch?” Eddie asked. “Have you tried this new cafe? They really go hard into the whole ‘sourdough is the food of San Francisco' thing. Probably meant to get the tourists, but the sandwiches still are great.”

There were a lot of things to respond to in that brief sentence and you fumbled with your conversation cards, flipping through them to string together a sentence that made sense.

“No. That sounds interesting. Let’s go.”

“It’s just this way,” he gestured, straightening from bending closer to read your cards. “Stick close; we might hit some of the lunch rush on the way in.”

You grabbed another card.

“I’m not good with crowds.”

“Then we can order to go and find somewhere else to sit. It’s no problem.”

“ WE WERE GOING TO SHOW YOU MY SURPRISE FROM LAST TIME ANYWAY. THE PRIVACY WILL HELP ,” Venom added.

Eddie offered his arm and you blinked at him before you caught his thoughts. He wanted to make sure you stayed beside them since you couldn’t very easily let him know you were being left behind--not like how most people let their friends know. Venom’s feelings were tacked onto the thought, revealing that he liked the thought of you holding onto them because he could protect you better the closer you were.

You looped your arm through Eddie’s.

The walk to the cafe was silent from a vocal standpoint: Eddie and Venom conversed with one another about their thoughts on the food and their past experience, the more deliberate wording telling you that they were actually talking to you without expecting any replies. All the same, you couldn’t help but feel awkward at how every passerby viewed you--both pedestrian and driver. Most thought you were on a date, others were convinced you just didn’t want to get separated. Almost everyone wondered why you and Eddie weren’t having a conversation. After all, wasn’t it the polite thing to do when out for a walk?

“ ARE YOU LISTENING TO US, MORSEL? ”

The symbiote’s question pulled you back. You’d gotten caught up in the overwhelming noise of everyone else’s thoughts, losing your ability to distinguish internal words from external ones with the din of other people’s conversations mixed with their observations of you. But Venom’s mental voice was much louder than the humans walking past and was able to cut through the ceaseless hum.

You immediately reached for one of your cards, feeling the well worn, bent corners and not needing to check it for the words on it.

“Sorry.”

You reached for another, equally used phrase.

“It’s difficult to explain.”

“Hey, no worries,” Eddie replied, tone deliberately soft so as to comfort you. “You just looked like you were spacing out a bit and I wanted to make sure you were okay. We’re almost there.”

You nodded and let your friend resume guiding you, deliberately focusing on his and Venom’s thoughts to let the others fade into background noise.

“ I tried your name a few times, but you weren’t answering. I’m glad you’re okay for now. Do you think you’ll be okay in the shop? Just because it’s closer quarters. ”

“ EDDIE, WE FOUND HER IN A GROCERY STORE. I’M SURE SHE CAN HANDLE A FOOD TRANSACTION. ”

“ Do you remember the spoons metaphor I told you about? ”

“ AND I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY IT HAS TO BE SPOONS! IT JUST MAKES ME THINK OF FOOD AND I AM ALWAYS HUNGRY. ”

Their banter was comforting. Their partnership might still be relatively new by normal standards, but spending all their time together--literally every waking moment--had quickly built their bond beyond what two ordinary humans could achieve in similar circumstances. They had actually reached a point where words, while convenient to keep their identities distinct, were not entirely necessary. Images, sensations, memories, all were equal communication tools.

It almost made you jealous at how easily they could literally share their thoughts with one another. You were stuck having to pretend you were oblivious to what people really felt.

The cafe was nice and cozy. There thankfully wasn’t a huge line--it gave you plenty of time to pick what you wanted from the menu and look at the carefully selected decor of the shop (mostly to ignore the man standing behind you, who was actively checking out anyone who looked to be of age and was daring to show even an inch of skin). You typed up your order on your phone and showed it to the cashier, who thankfully took it all in stride and smoothly got the process started. Eddie ordered a healthy sandwich and a slice of very rich chocolate cake, which had Venom purring at the thought of dessert.

You slipped out of the cafe, the line having grown significantly behind you and your friends even in just the short time. You could feel a headache forming from the combined vocal and mental chatter as you held on to Eddie and let him guide you away.

“Are you okay with taking a few backroads?” he asked and you saw he’d noticed your scrunched brow. “Just for some peace and quiet away from the main street? It’s probably only going to get louder.”

You nodded vigorously and Eddie picked up his pace, practically pulling you along with his brisk speed. He guided you through an alley onto a much narrower footpath with significantly fewer pedestrians, hesitating as he silently asked Venom to help him remember the way to a green space he remembered eating at before.

You took the break to check yourself over for signs of overstimulation. So far, nothing that some cleansing breaths and food wouldn’t take care of.

And then, like a ping on a psychic radar, you heard a familiar mind call your name.

“ Y/N?! But didn’t the suits snatch her?! ”

Your eyes snapped over to where you felt his thoughts and your heart began to race as you saw a face you’d prayed would never cross paths with you again.

At a first glance, he wasn’t a physically imposing man: barely five and a half feet tall, he didn’t show any obvious muscle or have any “red flags” to his features that might suggest he was dangerous. You almost would have looked right past him--his hair hadn’t been a blonde crew cut when you’d seen him last--but those deep hazel eyes held yours prisoner. You didn’t even need your powers to see the obvious greed ravaging his thoughts.

“Y/N? Hey, are you with me?”

Eddie’s words felt like they came from far away, even with Venom echoing them with his impressive volume. You were just staring at the other man, a silent scream trapped in your mute throat.

Your sight was suddenly filled with brown leather as Eddie stood in front of you, bending over to look you in the eye.

“Y/N,” he repeated. “Are you okay? Are you present? Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Excuse me.” The familiar voice made your skin break out in goosebumps as a chill ran down your spine. “Ma’am, are you going to be alright?”

You jolted backwards, throwing your hands up to clamp over your ears. It was a futile attempt to block out the feeling of his mind, his thoughts, the way he felt the world and took delight in your weakness, in your fear, in the worry of the others who were witnessing your distress…

“ EDDIE, MASK? ” Venom asks.

“ It’s too public ,” his partner protested silently even as he verbally stated, “Don’t crowd her please.”

“Let’s go,” you signed frantically, unable to stop fixating. “Please.”

“Come on,” Eddie ushers you,  holding out a hand for you to take--which you did with an iron grip. “It’s not far.”

You kept pace with your friends as you put rapid distance between yourself and your old acquaintance, still highly aware of those hazel eyes on you. The sound of the city faded as your feet hit grass and Eddie sat you down onto a bench, dropping to one knee by the armrest.

“What do you need me to do?” he asks, looking you over.

“ WHAT CAN WE DO? ” the symbiote echoed.

You just kept holding Eddie’s hand, fighting tears as you made yourself breathe deeply, clinging tighter when he tried to retract.

They were concerned. They wanted to help. And that was enough to help ground you to the point where you could pull out your phone.

I’ve met that man before. His name is Mitch. We used to be friends. It didn’t end well.

“ I’M GOING TO EAT HIS HEAD! ” Venom howled. His human counterpart took the revelation a little better: he took a second to process it--suppressing the flurry of questions that flooded his mind--and then he stood to join you on the bench.

“Do you need to talk about it now, or do you just want to put it aside for now?”

Put it aside. Please.

“Not a problem. Shall we eat?”

You were a little surprised he agreed so quickly--especially with how vocal Venom was being--but it was a relief nonetheless. You opened your take-out bag and retrieved your food, setting about enjoying it despite the residual shakiness in your hands.

You were about half done when a realization struck you, making you bite your tongue by accident. You jolted your phone out.

Did you respond to me signing back there?

Eddie read it and then laughed a little.

“Uh, so about the surprise Vee had for you...I’ll let him show you.”

“ FINALLY! ”

You watched curiously as Eddie relaxed and then his hands began to move--and you could see in his mind that he wasn’t in charge of the motions. This was all Venom.

The motions were careful and slow, but you sat straight up as Eddie’s hands started forming familiar words.

“Hi. My name is--” there was some hesitation as they briefly conferred with what name to use but they quickly resumed-- “V-E-N-O-M. It is good to talk to you.”

You gasped and gave them a brief applause. You then returned to typing.

How did you learn that so quickly?

“Vee has lots of free time when I’m sleeping,” Eddie shrugged, smiling as he regained the use of his arms. “He’s been looking at Sign dictionaries trying to string that whole phrase together.”

“ I’M BETTER AT FINGERSPELLING ,” the alien admitted, still basking in pride. “AND I KNOW ALL OF THE BASICS: HUNGRY, EAT, DRINK, YES, NO, GO, STOP, PLEASE, THANK YOU AND CHOCOLATE.”

You laughed soundlessly as Eddie rolled his eyes.

But why? You asked. Why go to the trouble?

“ BECAUSE WE WANT TO MAKE IT EASIER TO TALK TO YOU MORE! ” There is no hesitation in Venom’s response. “ IF YOU ARE IN TROUBLE, WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS WRONG QUICKLY! ”

“Not that we’re expecting trouble,” Eddie adds. “I just figured it would be helpful in general. But you’re gonna have to forgive me if he--” he tapped his temple--“has to do some translating in the beginning since he’ll pick it up way faster than me.”

You could feel tears pricking at your eyes again. They were willing to learn Sign for you? No other friend had been willing to do that for you since High School.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” They’d noticed your watery eyes. They were worried. They knew you had been stressed out during the whole outing and wanted to make you comfortable and safe.

Nothing,” you fingerspelled, taking care to make each letter distinct so they could more easily follow. “Thanks.”

“ EDDIE, I WANT THE CAKE NOW ,” Venom complained, changing gears faster than you or Eddie expected. “ WE HAD YOUR HEALTHY SANDWICH, NOW GIVE ME THE GOOD STUFF. ”

“ You absolute addict ,” Eddie thought back, taking a determined bite of mostly lettuce just to make the symbiote pout. You gave another silent laugh as you too returned to eating, happy to just listen to their chatter for a while longer.

[zhansww]

Hi! I don't mean this in a judging way, I'm just curious, don't you think it's an invasion of privacy to obsess over the relationship of two people, regardless if they're in the public eye or not? You said you don't ship for fun, but isn't it nobody's business who they want to associate with, especially if you don't know the person? I just don't really seem to grasp why one would ship people in real life.

Hey. This is actually a really good ask imo. I appreciate that you are trying to understand what tf I'm thinking instead of immediately judging^^

I am a little confused by your choice of words, though. I don't "obsess" over them or "ship" them. To me, "shipping" implies doing the same thing one does with fictional characters which is using your imagination, making things up to feed your fantasy. I always try to ground whatever speculation I have in reality instead of my feelings, ie what I want to be reality. So when you say you can't grasp why one would ship real people; I can't either (though I have tried) and never will.

I don't have this attitude of "oh they're both idols, so they should expect this shiz and be fine with it" and thinking that that makes speculating about them okay. When it comes to ggdd, I really think that they want us to know (because they actually are together but forced to hide it). So many of the hints they give seem to be for our sake rather than each other's. Gg is more subtle in that regard but dd... he has shown a few times that he keeps up with speculations in their cp supertopic. I actually made a list of that, here. During their TTXS episode, right before ggdd got asked to name their team, dd turned to gg and asked him "is bjyx not good?" and gg shook his head in reply. This was in July 2019. Bjyx is the first fanmade cp name for ggdd which was coined by cp fans back in April 2018. That little interaction goes to show that dd knew about his and gg's cp name and was fine with it - which is kind of a big deal cuz dd would usually show disdain for any of his cps. (gg, refusing that as their team name is also interesting btw. If they were just friends, they should be fine with giving that kind of fanservice - but they didn't) I don't take them, being okay with having cp fans, to mean that they are okay with being "shipped". After what happened in February, gg did say he supports creative freedom but I definitely don't think anyone would approve of having an rpf written about you and your (boy)friend in which you're an adult female prostitute and your boyfriend is a teenager (yikes, I hated even typing that shit out). I do take them, being okay with their cp supertopic, to mean that they don't mind the shared support they get or even the speculation. There's also the fact that they are both men which inevitably makes things harder for them, unfortunately. I think I mentioned this before somewhere but if either of them were female, I definitely would not care as much as I do. But since they are both men... they have it more difficult and therefore, I think, need that much more support. They need to know that they wouldn’t only be met by hate and disapproval if they ever come out. As an international fan, there isn't much I can do to show that support but I still want to do anything, be loud about it, because I feel so fiercely supportive about what they (might) have. And there is no other way to make more people see and support what ggdd have other than to first prove it - through all the speculation. I know that c fans have that attitude, too. They have many ways to actually show their love for them and they do. They do it because if we are actually right about them, we want them to know that they are being supported, and to drown out the hate and homophobia.

Me, I draw the line at shipping. And you, I assume, draw the line before that, at speculation. Like I already said, I don't get the shippers and I try my best to stay away from them. I do understand your group, though. I reckon you like ggdd individually and also their friendship but you consider all the speculating and theorizing that I'm doing to be too intrusive. And I totally get that. I was in that group myself at first (until I jumped down the ggdd rabbit hole and inevitably had to change my assumption that they are nothing more than friends to "okay they are more than friends" to "ggdd married", lol) Your attitude is perfectly valid and you obviously don't have to agree with or approve of my line of thinking. But I hope that my answer possibly made you understand it.

[fanmoose12]

Hello. I really appreciate your fanfic works and would it be alright to request a tragedy/angst “Hotarubi no Mori e” AU of Levi (taking the place of Hotaru) and Hange (taking the place of Gin) if you’ve happen to watch it? :))

so i’ve never watched this movie, decided to watch it after your prompt and??? this was so damn heartbreaking, i’ve loved it and cried for like half an hour after watching it???

so thanks for your prompt and for recomending this movie!!! i hope my story isn’t so sad btw

anyways, enjoy!!!!

Levi cursed when he realized that he walked by the same tree for the fourth time. He lifted his head and sighed deeply, screaming internally.

Stupid Kenny!

This whole idiotic situation was completely Kenny’s fault. If he was a good uncle or at least a responsible adult, he’d come and pick his nephew from the train station.

But no, he was too busy to do that, and Levi had to walk through the dense forest to get to his uncle’s house.

And now he was lost!

Levi growled and kicked the nearest tree, imagining it was Kenny. Stupid Kenny, and stupid forest, and stupid him for getting lost.

Levi kicked the tree again, harder this time. He raised his leg to do it one more time, when suddenly he heard a voice from up above.

“Oi, what did that tree do to you?”

Levi lifted his head to look for the source of the voice and found… somebody, or maybe something, he wasn’t really sure. It looked like a person, talked like a person, but instead of a face there was some weird mask.

“Go away.” Levi grumbled, crossing hands on his chest and glaring at the person on a tree. He was already pissed off, and he wouldn’t let some masked weirdo bother him.

In the meanwhile, the strange figure jumped off a tree and landed in front of Levi, crouching beside him.

“Are you lost?” the person asked, and Levi fleetingly thought that voice resembled a girl’s. Although it was much deeper than the voices of girls Levi knew.

“Do you know the way out?”

The girl laughed. “I do!” she said way too cheerfully. “C’mon, follow me, and I’ll lead you out.”

Levi nodded, deciding that he really needed help. Even if that help came from a weirdo in a mask. Still, a help from some weirdo was much better than roaming the woods until he starves to death.

“Thank you.” Levi muttered awkwardly and quietly.

The girl smiled down at him, getting to her feet. And Levi realized that she was probably much older than him, as she was almost twice Levi’s height.

“Before we start,” the girl began, as she was looking for something in her pocket. “I’ve got to warn you: you can’t touch me, under no circumstances. Alright?”

Levi huffed. “As if I was going to.”

“I just needed to warn you,” the girl shrugged and then took a long white cloth out of her pocket. She passed one end of it to Levi. “Wrap it around your wrist,” she instructed, doing the same on her own hand. “So we won’t get separated.”

Levi found her request a little weird, but, well, the girl was very weird, and he really wanted to get out of this forest, so he complied, wrapping the cloth tightly around his hand.

The girl looked down on their hands, joined by a white fabric, and started to giggle.

“We look just like a couple on a date!”

Levi raised his eyebrow. “Aren’t you a little old for me?”

“Or maybe it’s you who are too young for me,” the girl chuckled.

And then they started walking, the girl leading the way slowly, but confidently.

She hummed quietly as they made their way through the thick forest, but surprisingly it didn’t irritate Levi at all. On the contrary, he felt relaxed and soothed by her singing.

As they walked side by side, Levi couldn’t help but wonder just who his mysterious savior was. Was she just a girl, who liked to hang out in the woods and wear stupid masks? Or was she living there? Suddenly, Kenny’s tales about ghosts and spirits, which inhabited this forest, came to Levi’s mind.

Kenny told him this story a thousand times, a story of how he accidentally happened upon supernatural festivities, but he did not realize it, because all spirits looked like real people.

Levi shook his head, trying to get rid of such foolish thoughts. Obliviously, she was just a girl and not some supernatural creature. Levi felt ashamed of even thinking about such nonsense.

Maybe he was a rather impressionable child, but he wasn’t a little boy anymore. This winter he would turn nine years old and it was time for him to grow up.

So deeply engrossed in his thoughts, Levi didn’t even notice when the girl led him out to the clearing.

When he finally came to his senses, Levi’s eyes widened slightly, as he took in the scenery around him.

From on top of the hill they’ve been standing on, he could see the whole town below, and if he squinted, he could even see his uncle’s house.

“Thank you,” Levi said again, turning to face the girl.

“It’s nothing,” she waved him off. “But I do want something in return.”

Levi tensed and narrowed his eyes at her. “And what is it?”                   `

“Your name.”

Levi scoffed, but decided to obey her request. She kind of saved his life, after all. “It’s Levi.”

“Nice to meet you, Levi!” the girl giggled. “I’m Hange.”

“I don’t care,” he answered, but before he could turn away and go home, Levi wanted to ask her another thing. “Aren’t you going down with me?”

“What for?” Hange asked, honestly surprised. “I live here, in the forest.”

Levi widened his eyes. Was she actually serious? He looked closely at her, but he could see nothing behind her mask. However, her voice was devoid of the mirth, which was there before. So was she really living in the forest?

“Well, I need to go,” Hange started to turn around. “You can return this thing to me some other time.” She said, pointing to the cloth, still wrapped around Levi’s wrist.

Damnit, he didn’t even see her taking it off.

“What makes you think I will ever step a foot in this stupid forest?” Levi called after her.

“Ah, then leave it as a souvenir, I guess. From your mysterious forest friend. See you, Levi!” Hange finished and started walking away.

Levi watched her until her figure disappeared between the trees.

Then he scoffed, turning around and going his way.

What a damn weirdo he had met today.

                                                                  ***

The next day, Levi woke up to the sounds of his uncle’s friends making some kind of a ruckus downstairs. Sighing and getting dressed, he decided to go for a walk.

Levi hated those disgusting pigs Kenny called friends. They were loud, they were dirty and stinky and they usually came to Kenny with one goal – to get drunk.

As he walked through the town, Levi couldn’t help but remember yesterday’s encounter. And as he thought about the strange girl in a mask named Hange and wondered what she did in that forest, his legs involuntarily carried him on top of a hill.

Levi cursed himself, when he realized he was standing right in front of an entrance to the forest.

“I knew you would come!” Levi heard the cheerful voice, and soon Hange emerged from between the trees.

Levi huffed, turning his face away to hide his embarrassment. “It was unintentional.”

“Well whatever the case,” Hange eagerly clasped her hands together. “Would you like to go for a walk?”

Levi studied her masked face for a while, contemplating his answer. There wasn’t really a choice – it was rather enter the forest with a weird, but probably innocent and friendly girl, or spend his day, cooped up in his room, trying to ignore the vulgar jokes and boisterous laughter from Kenny and his friends.

“Only if you show me a way back here.” Levi said finally.

“That’s a deal then!”

Hange turned around and started leading the way, Levi following after her.

“So you live here with your parents?” Levi asked as they entered the forest.

“Huh? Well, I do have a family, but that’s probably not what you expect.”

Levi stared at her in confusion. She gave him a rather cryptic reply. “And just what do you mean by that?”

Hange turned around to face him. Levi wished he could see what expression she made behind that mask.

“Levi, you know what I am, right?” Hange asked carefully.

Levi looked at Hange’s strange mask and then remembered her words about not touching her.

“You are not just a girl?”

Hange laughed softly, shaking her head. “I am not. I am a spirit, who lives in this forest.”

“So when you said that I couldn’t touch you…”

“I will die, if a human ever touches me. Well, die is probably a wrong word for it, because technically I’ve been dead for a very long time and-“

“Hange.” Levi stopped her. “I got it, stop rambling.”

“Oh, alright,” Hange scratched her head, cocking her head to the side and studying Levi. “Aren’t you scared?”

“Why should I? You don’t look like you’re going to hurt me.”

“That’s right, I’m not.” Hange confirmed rather seriously.

They continued to stroll through the forest quietly after that, the silence around them interrupted only by Hange’s voice as she pointed something interesting to Levi every now and then.

Soon they came to a small bridge, and Levi stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a creature that was standing on the other side of it.

It was obviously some kind of spirit or a ghost, but it looked very different from Hange. Hange looked just like a human, while that thing resembled some kind of a black, slimy cloud. It had no eyes, but Levi felt that it was watching him. He felt a shiver down his spine, and Levi involuntarily took a step back, hiding behind Hange.

“Oi, you’re scaring him!” Hange shouted to that thing. “It’s Levi, he’s my new friend. He’s under my protection, so don’t hurt him!”

“Alright,” the creature said, and Levi closed his eyes at the sound of its voice. It was a horrible sound, which didn’t resemble a normal human voice. Instead the thing bellowed, his voice deep and gravy.

Levi would have pressed himself to Hange, but he remembered that he couldn’t touch her. So gathering all of his courage, Levi opened his eyes and stared at the scene in front of him.

“I won’t hurt him, but tell him he can’t touch you. You can’t do that, human boy,” the creature looked him straight in the eyes.

“I won’t.” Levi promised, willing his voice not to shake.

“Well, we’ll get going,” Hange waved at the creature, gesturing Levi to follow her.

“Don’t worry,” Hange told him, when they were a safe distance from that thing. “He won’t really hurt you, he just worries about me.”

“What was that creature? It looked nothing like you.”

“He is also a forest spirit. I looked like a human, because I’ve been born as one.” Hange looked straight ahead, and her voice lost its mirth and cheerfulness, becoming quiet and neutral. “When I was a child, I was abandoned by my parents. I would have died, if the forest spirits hadn’t saved me. That’s why they are so protective of me.” Hange chuckled at her last words.

Levi just nodded, not really knowing what to say. He had a lot of things to come to grips with after Hange’s story. For example, the fact that spirits and ghosts actually existed, and were not made up by his drunkard of an uncle, who just tried to scare his nephew.

However, the part of Hange’s story, where she was abandoned by her parents, didn’t surprise Levi. His father did the same to him, after all.

                                                              ***

Hange and Levi spend the whole day, exploring the forest, and only when the rays of sunshine were starting to fade, did Hange tell him that he needed to go home.

The forest at night was a dangerous place for a human, she said. And his parents were probably worried about him.

Levi wanted to scoff at the last part. His uncle probably didn’t even notice that he was gone. But his mother could call and ask about him, and she would get worried if Levi wasn’t at home. And Levi hated making his mother worried. She had enough on her hands as it was.

So Levi nodded, and Hange started to lead him to the clearing.

“I’ll come back tomorrow,” Levi said when they were standing on top of the already familiar hill. He purposefully hid his face away from Hange, embarrassed by his own desire to see her again. “If that’s alright with you, of course.”

“Sure!” Hange exclaimed, cheerful as always. “I’ll be waiting for your return.”

“A-alright then,” Levi replied, feeling even more awkward now. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And then he went home, and the next day he was again standing at the entrance of the forest, and Hange was once again waiting for him in the shadow of a big tree.

And that’s how Levi became friends with a forest spirit named Hange. He spent his every day in the woods, coming in the early morning and going back home when the sun was already setting behind the horizon.

It was never boring with Hange, she always came up with new ways to entertain Levi – they explored the forest, they picked berries, they fished in the forest lake, they climbed the highest trees or they just sat in a shadow, hiding from the sun and talking about everything and nothing. Well, usually Hange was the one, who talked, but she didn’t mind Levi’s silence.

Being friends with Hange was easy, even though Levi had never had friends before. Other kids found him weird, they thought his always scowling face was scary and they didn’t like that he almost never smiled or laughed.

But with Hange, everything was different. She talked for the both of them, and she didn’t need to see his smile or hear his laugh to know that he was enjoying himself and her company.

                                                              ***

Levi was nearly devastated, when at the end of summer his mother came to take him back home. He asked her to wait for half an hour and then rushed to the forest, desperate to see Hange one last time.

He found her at the entrance of the forest, as always. She greeted him with a wave of her hand, as always.

However, she tensed when she saw the troubled expression on Levi’s face.

“Is everything alright?” she asked, unusually serious.

“I’m going home,” Levi breathed out. “I… I wouldn’t be able to come here anymore.”

“So this is a goodbye?”

“No.” Levi replied fiercely. “I’ll come back. Next summer, I’ll return.”

“Alright,” Hange said, but Levi heard that her voice was still sad. She didn’t believe him.

“I will return.” Levi pressed. “And then you’ll show me a million different things. Okay?”

Hange chuckled, her hand coming to scratch her head awkwardly. “Okay.”

“I… I need to go right now. But you’ll wait for me?”

“I’m not going anywhere, Levi,” Hange said in a gentle voice. “Just go already.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going. But I will be back,” he replied, just to reassure Hange one more time. “See you next summer, Hange.”

“See you, Levi!” Hange said, and Levi let out a small smile, upon hearing that her usual cheerfulness has returned.

                                                                ***

Returning to his hometown and coming back to school, Levi felt utterly bored. He couldn’t wait for summer to come, so he could visit Hange again. He missed her voice, he missed her laugh, he even missed her stupid and weird mask.

Levi wondered if he always felt like that before he met Hange. Was everything so meaningless and pointless before or did he start to feel like this only after Hange showed him what a true life felt like?

Every time Levi wasn’t busy studying or helping his mother, his thoughts wondered to Hange. He wanted to know what she was doing right now, what interesting thing she managed to find that day, was the weather in the forest warm or cold, did she think of him and did she miss him just like he did?

And sometimes, while lying in his bed, unable to fall asleep, Levi wondered what Hange looked like. She had never taken off her mask in front of him, and Levi wanted to know what her face looked like. Did she look like any other girl, or was her face unhuman-like, showing her true nature?

Despite his desire to see what Hange was hiding behind that mask, Levi couldn’t bring himself to ask her about that. It felt too intrusive, too personal of a question to just outright ask her. But Levi was determined to see Hange’s face, when he would return to the forest next summer.

                                                              ***

Levi felt incredibly happy, when his mother announced that he will be visiting his uncle Kenny this summer as well.

Noticing Levi’s small smile and the unusually pleased expression on his face, his mother softly ruffled his inky curls.

“I see that you and uncle Kenny finally started to get along?”

Levi barely resisted from making a gaging sound at his mother’s words.

“Something like that,” he muttered, not wanting to upset his mother. “Mom, I’ll begin packing my things, yeah?”

“Of course, honey,” his mother smiled softly.

                                                               ***

After his train arrived at the needed station, Levi practically ran out of it and immediately rushed to the forest. He wanted to see Hange so badly!

However, he slowed his pace near the forest and tried to return his breathing back to normal. After all, he couldn’t let Hange know he missed her that much.

To Levi’s disappointment, Hange wasn’t waiting for him at their usual meeting place.

“Hange!” Levi shouted, hopping she would be able to hear him.

In the next second, Hange emerged from the forest. Since their last meeting, she didn’t change at all.

“Levi!” she shouted. “You came back!”

“Of course,” Levi scowled, crossing his hands on his chest. Did she really doubt him? “I promised I would.”

“And I’m so happy you did!” Hange clasped her hands. Then she cocked her head to the side, and Levi knew her eyes were studying him intently behind that mask. “Did you miss me?”

Levi felt his cheeks redden under Hange’s inquisitive stare. He turned his face away and scoffed. “I did not.”

“Oh my! You missed me so much! Levi, that’s so cute!”

“Shut it, Hange,” Levi growled, embarrassment making him feel like a fool. How Hange managed to read him so easily all the time? Was it her superpower as a forest spirit?

“I missed you, too,” Hange said, chuckling softly. She took a step towards Levi, her hand raised in an inviting gesture. “Shall we?”

“Let’s go already,” Levi muttered, coming to stand by her side.

They entered the forest together, and Levi hadn’t felt so happy ever since he said goodbye to Hange last summer.  

                                                              ***

And just like that, Hange was back in Levi’s life. It felt so easy and natural, as though Levi wasn’t absent for almost a year. They got along so well, as though they weren’t from two very different worlds.

But still, one thought lingered at the back of Levi’s mind. He wanted to see Hange’s face, but he couldn’t find enough courage to ask her.

And so, one sunny day, as they lay side by side on the warm and soft grass, close enough but not actually touching, Levi got an idea.

Hange seemed so relaxed, her breathing regular, and Levi concluded that she must have fallen asleep. He quietly and carefully rose and outstretched his hand towards Hange’s mask. He knew he couldn’t touch Hange, but she said nothing about her mask, right?

Levi’s hands slightly trembled while he was lifting the mask. However he successfully took it off and Hange didn’t seem to disappear in front of his eyes. Levi breathed out a sigh of relief, and then his eyes focused on Hange’s face.

And to his surprise… she looked completely normal. He expected to see something weird, but Hange’s eyes, nose and mouth looked just like any other girl’s. She wasn’t pretty like some girls in Levi’s school - her lips weren’t full, and her nose was too long, but Levi liked her face. It was Hange’s face, and Hange was his friend, his best and only friend, and to Levi her face looked more beautiful than the face of the prettiest girl in his school.

“Like what you see?” he suddenly heard Hange’s teasing voice, and Levi jumped back in surprise.

“I thought you were asleep!” Levi said accusingly.

“I was just resting my eyes,” Hange defended herself. She opened her eyes and sat, stretching her hands above her head.

Levi was lost the moment he looked into her eyes. They were brown, and warm, and so, so deep. Small creases appeared around them as Hange grinned at him.

Hange noticed his state, and she cocked her head to the side, looking at him curiously. Her brows furrowed in confusion, and she narrowed her eyes slightly. “Is everything alright?”

“Why do you wear that mask?” Levi asked instead.

Hange chuckled, as she scratched the back of her head. “I’m a forest spirit, but I look like a human, so I wear the mask to cover it.”

“You’re such a weirdo, Hange.” Levi deadpanned, making Hange laugh.

He watched with a small smile at the expression Hange made while laughing. She threw her head back, her eyes were closed, and her mouth was set in a grin.

Levi couldn’t look away.

Suddenly he remembered Hange could be withered away by a single human touch. A chill ran through Levi’s spine at the thought.

“Don’t touch me.” He blurted out. He didn’t mean to, but seeing Hange’s eyes at him, he looked back at her, staring deep into her beautiful eyes. “Don’t you ever touch me, Hange,” Levi pressed.

“A-alright!” Hange replied shakily, still staring at Levi in confusion.

“Do you promise me?”

“Levi, I don’t underst-“

“Promise me!” Levi raised his voice. His hands tightened into fists, and he squeezed them so hard, they began to tremble.

“Okay, okay!” Hange raised her hands into a placating gesture. “I promise that I will never touch you. Just calm down already.”

“I’m perfectly calm,” Levi argued.

“Alright, no touches, I got it.” Hange rose to her feet, putting her mask back on. “C’mon, I’ll show you a fox’s nest I found some time ago.”

And Levi followed after Hange, already missing the sight of her face.

                                                             ***

Summer came and went, and then came another one, and another. Levi grew and matured, and Hange remained the only constant in his life.

Every summer he would visit her, and no matter how much he changed, Hange still was his best friend.

Spending time with her was still his favorite thing in the world, and Levi still missed her every time he went home.

And in all those long years Levi had known her, Hange didn’t change a bit. She was the same as the day he had met her, when he got lost in the woods all those years ago.  

And even though, Levi had already grown up, and even though he already celebrated his sixteenth birthday, he was still shorter than Hange.

And that, of course, was an endless source of mischief and teasing for her.

But there was another consequence to Levi’s maturing.

In the school, seeing his pears dating, holding hands and kissing made Levi understand that he wanted the same thing. He wanted to find someone, who would hold his hand, hug his shoulders and softly kiss him on a cheek.

And as Levi was once returning home from school, one of the girls from his class decided to accompany him.

She had long blond hair and big green eyes with long eyelashes. Her lips were full and pink, her smile soft and gentle.

She was pretty, Levi thought. Very pretty.

But looking at her, he felt absolutely nothing.

Maybe, her hair was long and shiny, but Levi liked wild and messy brown curls. Maybe, her eyes were a beautiful shade of green that matched the leaves on a tree, but Levi preferred deep brown eyes, that were constantly shining with mischief and amusement. Maybe, her smile was pretty and delicate, but Levi enjoyed looking at the wide and slightly crazy grin.

As they walked home together, trudging through the snow, the girl came closer to him, taking his hand in hers.

And as she touched him, all Levi could think of was how it would feel to hold Hange’s hand. How it would feel to put his hands on her cheeks, while staring deeply in her eyes and admiring her smile.

Levi wanted to touch Hange’s hair to test if it really was as soft as it looked. And he wanted, desperately, to put his lips against hers and taste her gentle smile.

He wanted to see her so much, and he wondered, not for the first time this day, what was Hange up to right now. Was it also snowing in the forest? Was it just as cold there? Was Hange wearing the scarf, Levi had given her last summer? Was she feeling just as cold without Levi, as he was right now?

Levi thought that if Hange would ever put her hands around him, if she would touch him at least once, then he would never be cold again.

His heart started to beat faster, as Levi realized the truth. He was in love with Hange, and had probably been in love with her for a very long time. Maybe, he fell in love with her the moment he set his eyes on Hange, back when he was just a nine year old boy, who got lost in the woods.

Suddenly, the girl tugged slightly on his hand, and only then Levi remembered that she was still holding it in hers.

He untangled himself gently, but firmly, looking at the girl apologetically.

“I’m sorry…” he mumbled, staring at his feet. “But I don’t feel the same way you do.”

And then he turned around and headed home, his mind still reeling from the sudden revelation.

                                                           ***

When it was time to visit his uncle again, Levi felt uncharacteristically anxious. He didn’t know how to behave around Hange anymore: should he tell her about his feelings, or should he keep it a secret from her?

Whatever he decided to do, Levi knew his wish would never come to life. He would never get to kiss Hange, or hold her in his arms, or even touch her hand. The smallest of his touch would kill Hange, and Levi couldn’t, wouldn’t, let it happen.

When Levi arrived at the train station and headed to the forest, his heart was beating loudly in his chest and his hands were getting clammy.

He fixed his hair for the tenth time today, and then looked down on his clothes, making sure there was not a speck of dirt on it.

For the first time in years, he was actually worried to see Hange, afraid that his feelings would ruin the friendship they had.

However, all of his fears disappeared the moment he laid his eyes on Hange.

As always, she was waiting for him, and when she finally noticed his approach, she began waving her hands happily. And Levi didn’t need to see her face to know she was grinning at him.

He felt his own lips curve into a smile, as his heart was finally at peace, now that he was beside Hange once again.

                                                             ***

“Levi?” Hange called, while they were sitting on a tree branch, their legs swinging back and forth. “Are you busy tonight?”

Beside her, Levi scoffed. “Of course not, what I would be busy with? Why do you ask, though?”

“Well,” Hange faltered, fidgeting with her hands. “Tonight is the night of the forest festival. And I thought… maybe you would like to come? With me, I mean.”

“A forest festival?” Levi wondered aloud. He suddenly remembered the stories, his uncle used to tell him. So it was the truth, and not hallucinations of a drunkard? “Is it a festival for… spirits?”

“Yeah,” Hange nodded. “But it’s a special night. All spirits and ghosts are pretending to be human. They won’t even notice that you are not one of them. And even if they do, I will protect you. You don’t have to worry.”

“I do not worry,” Levi huffed. “I was just asking. Alright, I’ll sneak from the house tonight and come to this stupid festival.”

“Yay!” Hange threw her hands in the air. Levi wished he could see her smile right now, but Hange’s face was obscured by a mask. “I’ll be waiting for you on our usual spot?”

“Of course.”

                                                                ***

In the evening Levi came to their meeting spot. He was surprised to see Hange already waiting for him. She held a lantern in her hand and she was dressed in a bright yellow yukata.

“Oi, you look so handsome today,” Hange noted, smiling and nodding at his dark blue yukata.

Levi felt his cheek burn in embarrassment. “You look good too,” he muttered quietly.

Hange’s laughed delightfully at his awkward compliment.

Before they entered the forest, Levi took a white cloth out of his pocket. He outstretched one end of it to Hange, and he wrapped another one around his wrist.

“So we won’t be separated,” he told her.

“You kept it all those years?” Hange asked with wonder in her voice.

“Of course. It’s a souvenir from my mysterious forest friend.”

Hange said nothing, but Levi saw her looking at their joined hands. He wished he could see what her face looked right now, but Hange was wearing a mask, as always.

They entered the forest, walking side by side.

The quiet and calm atmosphere of the summer night was interrupted by Hange’s sudden fit of giggles.

“We look like a couple on a date!”

“We do.” Levi replied simply, making Hange gasp. She stopped and stared at him in bewilderment.

“When did you learn how to be so suave?” Hange asked, as she caught up with Levi.

Levi shrugged. “I grew up. It’s you who always stays the same.”

“I do.” Hange nodded, and Levi was surprised to hear some sadness in her voice. He wanted to ask her about it, but soon they reached the clearing, and Levi’s eyes widened as he took in all the bright colors and different sounds of the festival.

All around him were shining lanterns and people in colorful yukatas, Levi was surrounded by the sound of music and laughter. It all looked so normal, he saw not a spirit in sight. Everyone looked just like ordinary people - Levi saw children running around, adults, walking in pairs and holding hands, and elderly, sitting down and enjoying their tea as they wore warm smiles, watching the festivities.

“Come on!” Hange tugged on his arm, breaking Levi out of his daze. “There is so much we have to do!”

And Levi let himself be dragged, dutifully following after Hange as she jumped from one fun activity to another. They went goldfish scooping, gun-shooting, ring-tossing and senbonbiki, and Hange tasted a dozen of different dishes from the food stalls.

Levi was barely able to keep up with her, but still he enjoyed his evening, as Hange’s delighted laugh and her squeals of joy made him incredibly happy.

When Hange finally tired out, she offered to walk Levi home.

She was humming softly, while they were walking side by side through the dark forest. Strolling with Hange like that Levi was reminded of their first meeting.

A smile graced his lips, as he thought of how lucky he was to get lost that day.

Suddenly Hange stopped. She took off her mask and put it on Levi’s face. Before he could react in any way, Hange took a step closer to him and pressed her lips to the mask. She lingered there for a moment, and Levi’s hands trembled with desire to touch her, to cup her face in his palms and truly kiss her, with no obstacles in their way.  

“Keep it,” Hange nodded to the mask. She winked, grinning mischievously, before continuing. “It will be another souvenir from your forest friend.”

Levi froze, looking at Hange with helpless eyes. In that moment he knew that it was his last meeting with Hange. Somewhere deep in his soul Levi felt that he would never get to see his best friend or hear her laugh or listen to her stupid jokes.

He extended his hand, reaching for her. “Hange…” he called softly.

But before Levi could say anything else, a couple of kids ran past them. One of them stumbled and Hange caught him with her hand.

“Be careful!” she called after him, as the boy giggled and continued running after his friend.

And Levi watched with wide eyes as Hange’s hand, the hand that just touched the boy’s shoulder, began to disappear in a bright green light.

“That boy was probably not a spirit,” Hange laughed awkwardly.

And Levi still watched, unable to look away and shocked to do anything else. His heart beat wildly in his chest and Levi felt how tears slowly started to gather in the corners of his eyes.

“Levi, come here!” Hange urged him, widening her arms.

And Levi ran to her, almost knocking her down. He closed his hands around Hange, pressing her as close to him as he could.

“I love you, Hange,” he whispered frantically in her shoulder. He could feel Hange disappearing beneath his fingertips, but Levi held on tight, trying to memorize the feel of Hange’s soft skin and inhaling her faint scent.

“I love you, too,” Hange replied, laughing giddily. “I’m so happy that I can finally touch you!”

“I will always remember you,” Levi promised.

Hange nodded, the brilliant smile on her lips, and in the next moment she disappeared completely.

Levi continued to stare at the spot, where Hange stood. The tears flew freely from his eyes, and Levi’s heart was broken, shuttered in a million pieces, his soul already missing Hange.

But still, a smile began to appear on his face, as he recalled Hange’s last moments.

He was right after all, Hange’s touch did make him feel incredibly warm inside.

And staring at the night sky and the millions stars, that shone brightly, but weren’t nearly as blinding as Hange’s smile, Levi knew that even though he would always miss Hange, even though his heart would always belong to her, now that he had finally touched her, he would never feel cold again.

[istheresomebodywhocanimagine]

The Wrath of Mercury

anonymous said: Freddie x Trekkie!Reader (ask the Star Trek fandom if you need help, we’re nice)

(a/n: it’s been a HOT MINUTE since i’ve seen wrath of khan - which, btw, if you haven’t, WATCH IT. best ST movie imo - so excuse me if i got anything off hehe. this is kind of a short imagine for me, but i didnt want to bore anyone w the details of star trek in case they’re not a fan!!! and im tired af from work so this is the best i could do. also, gif credits to @imladrs​ tysm ily)

Freddie had never been known to let anyone deter him when he had his mind made up on something. He was stubborn, to a fault, and you appreciated him for that. It was a good quality to have in his line of work, which was cutthroat at best.

But sometimes, it really pissed you off.

“Freddie, please just watch the movie with me!” you begged, tugging on his hand as he tried to rise off the couch. He sighed and stood still, waiting for you to stop pulling on his arm.

You’d tricked him into having a movie night with you instead of going out, and you didn’t tell him that you’d be watching The Wrath of Khan until you’d already started the movie. You hadn’t seen it because you’d been on tour with him when it had been released, so you’d managed to snag a copy of it and now here you were, pleading with him to just sit down and watch it with you.

“I don’t want to watch it, Y/N, you know how much the one a few years ago bored me,” he reminded you, his eyebrow raising as you pouted at him and gave him the saddest puppy dog eyes you could manage. His cigarette hung out of his other hand loosely, almost threatening to fall as he furrowed his eyebrows at you. “Don’t give me that look, you litt-“

“Fred! Just a couple hours, that’s all I’m asking.”

He toyed with the idea, knowing that he’d never hear the end of it if he said no, but also really not wanting to watch another uninteresting movie about living spaceships and William Shatner. It was Brian’s territory, all this space stuff, and he wasn’t a fan. “Let me think about it,” he murmured, mulling over the idea as he took another drag.

But, you ended up making up his mind for him when you kissed his knuckles and then rested your head against his hand. “Fred, please,” you whined softly, pressing your cheek against the back of his hand and looking up at him through your lashes.

“Damn you,” he muttered, trying not to smile as he plopped back down on the couch and put out his cigarette in the ashtray. You were fatally adorable when you gave him that look, and you knew it. As annoyed as he was trying to act, he still wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close when you snuggled up to his side, and he rested his head on yours. “Now, is this going to be as terrible as the last one?” he asked, making you giggle.

“I don’t know, Fred,” you quickly replied, wrapping your arms around his torso and staring intently at the screen.

“Because if it is, I’m leaving, I’m just saying that now. Star Trek is Brian’s favorite, not mine,” he continued, huffing softly and appearing slightly irritated that he was actually watching this right now. “God, I bet I hate this. You really like this?”

“My friends said it was the best movie they’d seen in a while. Brian raved about it. Now hush, Fred.” Kirk was leading some trainees in a battle simulation, and you were interested to see where this movie was headed. You hadn’t heard anything about what it was like besides some friends telling you it was incredible, so you were excited to watch and hoped that Freddie would keep his mouth shut. He did, at least for a while – after a certain point, he was bound to be curious.

“Who’s that, darling?” Freddie asked when Khan appeared on screen, and you rolled your eyes and didn’t answer. As if on cue, two seconds later, Chekov said his name, and Freddie made a noise of acknowledgement as he played with the hem of your shirt absentmindedly. He hated to admit it, but this movie was already loads better than the 1979 one, and he was way more entertained than he’d expected to be.

The questions did stay to a minimum, and you didn’t say it out loud, but you knew Freddie’s feigned apathetic stance towards the movie was getting harder and harder for him to pull off. He was actually invested, and you knew it, which made you grin as you watched. His grip on your shirt got tighter as Khan fired at the Enterprise, and remained tight throughout the entirety of that scene.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” he breathed out once the Reliant retreated, looking at you. “What’s going to happen?”

You laughed and reached up to pat his cheek gently, shrugging before looking back at the screen. “I told you love, I haven’t seen this movie yet! I’m as clueless as you. Now, hush.”

He whined, clinging onto your shirt as he scooted closer. “I tell you what, stop telling me to hush. I’m a grown man.”

“And you’re talking like a child in a movie theater, dear,” you reminded him, making it his turn to pout. You laughed at the insulted look on his face, and quickly kissed him on the cheek, then turned your eyes back to the screen again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. You’re not like a child.”

But your words fell on deaf ears, for he was already focused on the movie again, his eyes glazed over. And now he was so into it, that he didn’t speak again until you neared the end of the Mutara Nebula battle.

“What in the bloody hell was that?!” he exclaimed, sitting upright whenever Spock nerve pinched McCoy and entered the engine room.

“Freddie, you’re spoiling it!” you laughed, pulling him back down to your level and wrapping an arm around his shoulders, then placing your hand over his mouth. “I’m going to have to pinch you like that if you don’t shut it!”

Freddie replied, but it was incoherent and muffled against your hand, so you ignored him as you both watched Spock bring the power back to function. Freddie didn’t realize just how serious that was until he realized Kirk was talking to a dying Spock, and you couldn’t help but tear up a bit at the scene. Leonard Nimoy’s character always held a special place in your heart, so logical, so cool, that you were somewhat devastated by this happening.

And you didn’t realize Freddie was too, until one of his tears hit the top of your hand during Spock’s funeral, and you looked up to see he was full on crying, just as Saavik was. “Fred,” you gasped, letting go of his mouth and staring in disbelief as he sniffled and wiped away his tears quickly, refusing to look at you.

“What? Leave me alone,” he quickly muttered, watching the screen and holding back further tears as he pretended to be unbothered. You saw the reflection of Spock’s coffin in Freddie’s watery eyes, and you smiled widely as you saw him shed another tear as it landed on Genesis. “Oh, fuck me,” he finally whispered, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes and laying face down in your lap as you laughed in pure happiness.

“You liked it!” you cheered, running your hand over his hair and petting it gently as he laid on your lap, unmoving. “You liked it, you liked it, you bloody liked it!”

He groaned in agony as you cheered, knowing you’d been right all along, and refused to sit up as you grinned ear to ear. “Ugh, stop, fuck off and die,” was all you could get in response, and that just made you laugh harder because you knew he meant it in the most affectionate way. He pressed a quick peck of a kiss to the top of your thigh right after, confirming your assumption as his mustache scratched against your skin.

“Freddieeeee,” you drawled out in a singsong voice, crawling off the couch and kneeling in front of it. He laid there limply, his flushed face squished against the couch and dark eyes bloodshot from the crying, and the sight was enough to make your heart soften as you reached up to cup his cheek gently. “Was it good, love?” you asked, your voice softer now that you’d gotten the gloating out of your system.

“Yeah,” he croaked out, sniffling again and rubbing his eyes. “Yeah, it was really good. I quite liked it.”

The same grin reappeared on your face, and Freddie rolled his eyes as he realized you were about to cheer again. Laying on the floor next to the couch, you threw your arms up in the air in triumph. “Woo! What a rush.”

“Oh, you’re such a gracious winner, love,” Freddie grumbled, crawling off the couch to lay next to you. You scooted over, letting the gracious winner in you make space for the poor man who’d just lost face in front of you. But there was a ghost of a smile playing at Freddie’s lips, and he pressed a kiss to your shoulder before pinning you down and tickling you, laughing as you squealed and wriggled around, making futile attempts to escape his wrath. “But guess what? I’m a sore loser!

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[missmeikakuna]

Chad and the Incel Chapter 8

Rated: M

Fandom: Original Fiction (but inspired by the Virgin vs Chad meme)

Relationship type: Male/Male with a bit of Female/Female (the lesbians are adorable, btw) and unrequited Male/Female (in other words, the guys are bisexual).

Description: Chad is, well, a Chad, or at least he looks like one. He’s got his sights set on the cool nerd Becky and enlists the help of her shy incel ex-friend Noah, offering to help him get the gorgeous girl (Stacy) he desperately wants. Noah is reluctant to help, believing that he will be stuck in inceldom forever, but Chad’s interest in his life gives him hope. When their plans go awry, they start turning their romantic attention towards each other.

Content Warning: Given the subject matter, you can guess that this story has dark themes in it, such as suicide and self-harm (plus the mental health issues that often cause them), sexism, slut-shaming homophobia, biphobia and transphobia. There is also swearing and some mentions of sex but nothing too explicit (hence the M rating as opposed to an Explicit rating).

8th Post: [LifeFuel]  My crush likes me back

Noah rapidly raised and dropped his laptop, standing up and turning away from it. After remembering the price of the thing, he checked it for damages. Upon seeing no problems, he sighed and sat back down.

He put his headphones back on and played the game again. All the cartoonish gun sounds couldn’t drown out the voice in the back of his mind.

What’s with you lately?

He chose to ignore the voice but it only got louder, and as it got louder it pushed him to play harder, firing at everyone. Yes, even his teammates. He wasted bullets on players that couldn’t be harmed by him.

After his team lost the game, he slammed the headphones against the desk. Once again, he sheepishly checked for any damages and found none.

He leaned against the back on his chair and looked up at the ceiling.

The voice had disappeared but was replaced with an image of Chad smirking on the ceiling. He scowled at the image in his mind, only to swallow air when it was replaced with Chad’s fish-out-of-water face.

‘You’re… hot…’

Noah felt a twinge in his heart and throbbing down below. His shoulders became heavy as he unzipped his pants. As per usual, he pictured smoke rising from his hand and tried to ignore it.

After washing his hands, he picked up his phone, scrolled through the contacts and almost deleted Chad’s. His thumb hovered over the screen until he decided to keep it. The voice came back.

You should get a picture of him for the contact.

The thought put even more weight onto his shoulders. As if he was going to do that. It wasn’t like he missed him all that much.

He lied down on his bed, staring at the screen and trying to avoid the contacts app, though naturally his eyes kept going back to that little address book.

He groaned. ‘Fine,’ he hissed to himself. He sent Chad a message.

How are you? Been a while.

Chad replied surprisingly quickly, causing Noah to fumble with his phone after almost dropping it in shock.

Yeah, it has. I’ve been good. I need to go to bed soon so I’ll talk to you at school.

Chad kept his promise and chatted to him during class. At first, the conversation was slow and awkward, both boys trying to tiptoe around the issue of Chad calling Noah hot.

The conversation began to centre around sports, with Chad trying to convince Noah to watch one football game, something Noah had not done since he was eight. He reluctantly agreed on the condition that he watch Chad play first.

At football practice that afternoon, Noah leaned forward with his hands maintaining a strong grip on the metal bar in front of the bleachers. His eyes never left Chad as the player threw the ball with one of his muscular arms.

When practice ended, Noah congratulated Chad on doing well before sneaking out of the bleachers and shuffling to his car. On his way home, he saw a little NFL shop about to close for the day.

He rushed in and bought a generic poster with the NFL logo and a picture of a football. At home he blu-tacked the poster on the wall behind his bed’s headboard. 

He went onto his laptop and looked for ways to torrent NFL games. Instead of studying he ended up watching one and a half games until he fell asleep. His eyes subconsciously sought out the most handsome players and he even found a guy who looked like Chad. 

During the moments the players stopped, fantasies danced around his mind about what Chad would do with him in that uniform of his. At first, these fantasies were purely carnal, though they gradually changed into something a little different.

For instance, he imagined Chad running to the bleachers to kiss him after scoring a touchdown. He thought of the boy training him in football, complimenting his skills. He even made up a scenario in which he tended to Chad’s injuries.

After that last daydream, one question popped into his head.

The fuck is wrong with you?

He woke up late in the morning but couldn’t bring himself out of bed. He just lied there thinking about what those fantasies meant, what any fantasy he’d ever had about a guy meant. It wasn’t like he was gay. As much as women frustrated him to the point of stirring hatred within him, he still wanted them. No, he needed them.

His heart leapt in shock and something that totally wasn’t joy when he heard his phone buzz. It was a message from Chad.

Where are you?

Noah spent half a minute coming up with an excuse.

Sick.

Chad replied with some sad emojis like the normie he was.

I’ll meet you after school to check up on you.

Noah groaned.

You want to catch something?

Chad’s response sent a wave of warmth throughout Noah’s body.

I don’t, but I’ll feel worse if I don’t see for myself that you’re okay.

Noah smiled as he got up and made himself a meal he had learnt how to make from an anime. After finishing off his lunch, he went back onto his laptop and debating (or, to be more accurate, arguing) with someone on an anime forum.

Chad did what he said he was going to do, and quicker than expected. When Noah opened the door for him, Chad asked him how he was.

Noah coughed. ‘Good. I feel better now. You wait in my room and I’ll make us some coffee. You okay with having it black?’ 

‘Yeah, but aren’t you still sick? I should make it.’

‘It’s fine, really.’ Noah nudged him into his room.

Chad spun around on the chair by the desk. As he stopped the chair, his hand slipped on the mouse, moving it enough to wake the laptop from its screensaver mode. A tab showed a forum debate entitled ‘Are Traps Gay?’

When Noah entered the room with two cups of coffee, Chad asked him, ‘What are traps? I’m guessing you’re not talking about stuff used for hunting, unless hunting’s a gay activity now.’ This caused Noah to spill some of the coffee as he slammed the mugs on the desk.

‘N-none of your business.’ Chad took out his phone. ‘Wait!’ Noah shouted as he closed the door behind him. He whispered, ‘Okay, so, uh, in anime there are these guys called ‘traps’ who look like girls.’

Chad joined him in speaking with a hushed voice. ‘Sounds like an insult.’

‘H-how?’

‘Well, a trap means you’re, I don’t know, tricking someone, right? Are these anime dudes who look like chicks tricking people or something? Or is the word a coincidence or something like that?’

‘Well, uh, no, I mean, I think the word comes from that, but, uh…’ Noah looked around the room for a way to change the subject but found nothing. The whispering ended. ‘It-It’s a compliment nowadays!’

‘Really? Doesn’t sound like one,’ Chad said as he shrugged his shoulders.

‘The question isn't really about those guys anyway, so it doesn’t matter if they’re ‘tricking’ you or not. It’s more about if you’re gay for liking them. They’re, uh, popular with dudes.’

‘Sounds pretty gay to me.’

‘It’s not! Absolutely not! You think some faggot would be into anime characters who look like girls? No, it’s the realm of the straight men. Only straight men can appreciate these beauties.’

Chad stood up and leaned closer to Noah. ‘So you’re into dudes?’

‘No, it doesn’t count, it doesn’t-’

‘Would you fuck a real-life guy in a dress?’

‘Uh… n-no…’

Chad smirked as some mysterious, much more confident force possessed him and made words he never expected to say spew from his mouth.  Perhaps it was Noah’s relatable nervousness that made him feel oddly safe. He put his hand between Noah’s shoulder and his neck, lightly rubbing the area.

‘Would you fuck me if I looked like a girl?’

Noah didn’t respond, at least verbally. He just stared at Chad, who leaned closer and drank in the delicious sound of his heartbeat.

The stare lasted a good twenty or so seconds before their bodies joined together in a heated kiss. As Noah panted with desire, the zest of ginger and the scent of honey from his lunch lit up Chad’s mind, as did his partner’s heartbeat, which continued to get louder and faster. Chad’s heart and breaths quickly matched him as he held his cheeks, his thumbs stroking the hair in front of his ears. He continued kissing him even as he started becoming more aware of what he was doing, as any fear he could possibly feel was replaced with the endorphins he usually got playing football.

Part of him had expected an overly slobbery kiss, so he grinned when he noticed that this wasn’t the one he was having. Noah’s lips were a little rough but Chad enjoyed every inch of them. Noah’s skin was hot and, in contrast with his lips, soft. 

He pushed Chad onto the chair and stuck his tongue in his mouth, reaching for the taller man’s coat to take it off. Chad shivered at this sudden display of dominance and helped him fling off the coat. Noah only let go of him to turn on the CD player and soon the sounds of their kiss were hidden under the swelling of a boisterous symphony. They moved to the bed, grasping at each other’s clothes to remove them as quickly as possible.

The air was filled with heavy breaths that gradually slowed down. The duo felt almost sick from the smell of the room. The CD player finished its current track before Noah turned it off. He turned until his back was facing Chad, who placed his hand on the shorter man’s hip.

‘How was it?’ he murmured. Noah shrugged, refusing to look at him and yet again focusing on his own hands as if smoke was emanating from them. ‘That bad, huh? Sorry, I’m new to this. That was my first time.’

Noah rolled back with the speed of a tumble dryer. ‘The fuck are you talking about? There’s no way you were a virgin. What about all those girls that throw themselves at you?’

‘What girls?’ 

Noah stared at Chad like the man was high. Chad stroked his hip with his thumb as he said, ‘And besides, even if I did sleep with girls, it’s not like that would prepare me to sleep with a guy. I doubt many girls would be interested in doing what you…’ He laughed nervously.

Noah covered his eyes with his bangs. ‘Oh. Yeah. Speaking of which, are you… sore?’

Chad shifted his butt on the bed. ‘A little. Maybe we should have done more prep.’ He reached underneath the sheets and pulled out a bottle. ‘This is pretty good stuff, though. And the condoms… why’d you have these on you?’

Noah gulped, staring at the ceiling, then the door, anything to prevent him from having to look at Chad.

‘In… in case I needed to use them… with a girl. I bought them when you made me think for a second that maybe I could actually get a girl.’

Chad sighed. ‘Yeah, so, uh, what exactly are we? I mean, are we… what’s it called… bisexual?’

Noah pulled the sheets up despite showing no shame a few minutes earlier. ‘No way,’ he said with a shake of the head like a dog leaving a bath. ‘This is… fucked. I shouldn’t have… we shouldn’t have… Let’s just forget about this. It never happened, alright?’

Chad dropped the bottle and looked down at the sheets with a frown. ‘Was I really that bad? Or couldn’t you picture me as a girl? Maybe you are straight after all-’

‘You were fine!’ Noah snapped. ‘And I didn’t imagine you as a girl. You were… okay. It felt good.’ He looked at the evidence of this: the condom in the bin. ‘It’s just that… my first time wasn’t supposed to be ‘okay’.’

‘What’d you expect it to be like? It’s not like either of us are very experienced.’

‘I don’t know. Just better. It almost feels like nothing happened. I mean, for Christ’s sake, I lost my virginity! That’s a big deal, isn’t it? It’s not like I can undo it.’ Noah tightened his grip on his sheets until his knuckles turned white. ‘So why don’t I feel any different?’

With another sigh Chad turned around and got off the bed. Unsure how to reply to that question, he asked Noah where the bathroom was but, before Noah could answer, they heard a knock on the door. 

‘Noah, are you decent?’ a feminine voice called out.

‘No!’

‘Well hurry up and get dressed. Family meeting.’

Noah looked from side to side in thought before shoving Chad in the closet and pulling the quilt over the sheets to hide the evidence. He picked up the clothes he wore from before and threw Chad’s clothes into the closet.

‘Family meeting? Since when do we have those?’

‘We do now! Your father and I can’t decide on dinner.’

Noah pulled his jeans up, trying to ignore the sudden stickiness of his underwear. ‘Well, decide for yourself! You don’t need me.’ Chad felt his heart twist but he focused on his task of putting clothes on while cramped in a closet. Noah threw a shirt on and opened the door just a little, not so much as to show what was on his bed.

His mother pinched her nose. ‘What’s that smell?’

‘Nothing! I’m sure it’s nothing.’

After hearing the door slam shut, Chad made his way out of the closet, picked up his bag and coat and snuck out of the room. He tiptoed through the living room. He locked eyes with Noah, who gave him a deer in the headlights look. His parents turned their heads and Chad ducked down behind the couch, holding his breath. His heart sped up as he crawled to the door. He looked at Noah one last time and put his hand on the door.

Noah looked in the opposite direction and yelled, ‘Did you see that? Mittens just jumped for no reason!’ Chad opened the door. ‘I think she saw a mouse!’ Chad closed the door behind him and slowly exhaled. 

Once the family meeting ended, Noah took to Incels.me and discovered that the website was gone. He was fuming when he learned that it was taken down. He searched around for a replacement and quickly found one. He joined it under a new username and began to write, changing Chad from a ‘he’ to an unnamed ‘she’.

Rotcel2003- [LifeFuel] My crush likes me back

Well, this is only half life fuel. On the one hand, I just slept with my crush. It was fairly good, and she’s pretty hot, but it wasn’t life-changing. It kind of makes me question why I was so obsessed with losing my virginity. Is this really the life of an ascended incel? I don’t know. 

I can’t help but wonder if it was worth doing stuff with her. I mean, what kind of femoid would be into me? She clearly has low standards to date a sub-3 like me. And it’s even weirder when you consider that it started with us talking about anime. She doesn’t even watch anime! Plus, we were talking about traps, not exactly prime normie material.

So yeah, I’m conflicted.

When Noah went back onto the post, he was shocked at the influx of replies calling him a bluepilled cuck and saying he was bragging. Someone even accused him of being a normie trying to pass himself off as an incel.

It was that night when Chad decided to look up this whole incel thing. He came across the same forum Noah visited and saw a post about a discussion of anime ‘traps’ leading to sex.

His fish-out-of-water eyes returned. 

[blackwoolncrown]

glitterandgoo replied to your post “I realized how to express why I’m not into astrology: It’s the...”

as someone who really is into astrology, this is the exact reason why lately i have been resisting my habit of finding out someone's bday/natal placements. (this is strictly re: romantic interest and dating btw.) i think i used it as a crutch bc it gave me an illusion of control but really never stopped me getting hurt nor helped me meet good people. folks i should be compatible w were awful, and folks i should have nothing in common w have been great. (cont)

This is really interesting. Considerably, as the person who is uncomfortable with the general approach to astrology, I can speak to your saying that it hasn’t actually lead to compatibility. Example:

Once when I was at this spiritual dude’s house, he looked up my sign and specifically asked for my bf’s sign to compare, then compared his compatability with me to my compatability with my s/o, pointing out how the book said we were more compatible.

As gross and presumptuous as that seems, that’s how it always feels to me. Instead of paying attention to me (I was not interested in that guy, not available, yet he didn’t ask if I was or not) a person is suddenly reacting to a simplified concept of me. They look to it and trust it more than they want to get to know me.

From the outside, I almost never see people talking about doing this aside from romance, which doubly skeeved me because intimate relationships are the most genuine, the most honest, or should be, so to see people trying to ‘type’ and peg possible dates by type seemed weirdly inhumane and predatory to me. Like if you are trying to be intimate lovers, that is the time to be open, present and honest, genuinely inspecting, learning and appreciating who they show you to be.

It also seemed like a lot of cognitive dissonance because there’s a huge overlap in New Age/Metaphysical Laws and Astrology. So what didn’t seem to gel to me was like, knowing that the universe shows you what you expect, how did it not seem like blatant self-fulfilling prophecy to say “such and such type person is always a problem”?? Add to that, like you said, how no one who uses charts this way seems to be able to avoid continual, repeated drama in their lives. So why trust it so much? I’ve never once used charts with people and I meet wonderful people all the time and have lots of love and success.

It is important to me to be open to others’ spiritual languages and beliefs but at the end of the day a lot of it just doesn’t compute. It’s just another identity to confuse. And so since there was something judgy about it, I always got this judgy vibe from people who used it. So I’ve just never been into Astrology, even after studying it.

So wow yeah it’s interesting that so much of what couldn’t really let me settle with Astrology are the same things that make you feel like you don’t need it any more. I think it’s important to remember that all magic is really just a magic feather and don’t get caught up in giving external things power over your own intuition.

I don’t think it’s bad- like I said it’s perfectly fine for introspection and if you’ve learned what you’ve learned now about yourself, you only did so in this manner by using astrology as an experiment- so it’s all part of the process. I guess it’s more like a training wheel you can take off when you’re ready to speed up.

[pickalilywrites]

Ohhh my my, 106 was soo interesting !!! What are your thoughts of it ?? Btw I saw you opened the requests for it, so I thought why not ? And ask you for a Sasha x Nikolo :D that couple of panels of their interaction totally caught my eye !!! Maybe in 107 we will see his reaction to her death :(

I thought it was very amazing! It was lovely seeing Sasha again and I’m glad she had seafood before she died ;~; Seeing all of the people on Paradis getting along with the Marleyans was very interesting to me although Eren’s attitude towards them scares me :O I’m very frightened for EMA and seeing them in these chapters is really hurting my soul :c Isayama is doing too good of a job at showing their separation! Yelena is really something too…she is very intriguing to me…Overall, I think it was very nicely written and I enjoyed this chapter spectacularly!

I was eating jackfruit the other day and it reminded me of when my family would eat durian. My uncle told me that when he was young, they’d make you kneel on it as punishment :O (My mom said he was just lying to me though.) 

Acquired Taste

NikoSasha. Canonverse.

1816 words.

When he had first brought the large, spiky fruit into his kitchen, many of the Paradis Eldians expressed curiosity at seeing such a strange new food. Because the fruit is native to an island in Hizuru, it makes sense that those on Paradis find it so peculiar. But the more they discover about it, the less they want to stick around.

“What is it?” the commander asks. They poke and prod it, but only with one of the wooden spatulas that Nikolo keeps in the kitchen. The spiked shell keeps them from poking it with their bare hand.

“Durian,” Nikolo replies, amused at their reactions. While Commander Zoe and Sasha look at the fruit with a deep interest, many of the others look at skeptically. And, of course, there are those like Captain Ackerman who automatically detest the fruit without even trying it.

“Smells like shit,” Captain Ackerman mutters. Funny how the man they refer to as “Humanity’s Strongest” is so disgusted at the smell of durian. Nikolo thinks the captain might hate it even more than the Marleyans that appear at the shores of Paradis.

Nikolo can’t help but smirk. “If you think it’s strong now, wait until it’s ripe.”

“It gets worse than this?” Jean asks. He and Connie have their shirts pulled up over their noses, trying to be polite as they observe this new food but failing terribly. Nikolo can’t see the expression Jean’s making, but he’s sure there’s a deep frown on the soldier’s face.

“This is nothing,” he tells them. “It gets much, much stronger the riper it is.”

Captain Ackerman leaves the kitchen immediately after that, not able to bear the thought of a more pungent smell. The rest of them “hmm” and “ha,” cracking jokes about the captain not being able to handle foreign foods and smells like a child. They promise to come back to the kitchen tomorrow and observe the fruit some more as well as the other dishes that Nikolo plans on cooking up, but only Hanji and Sasha seem sincere in their words. Jean’s eyes flicker back and forth as he thinks of a reason to avoid being in the same room as the strong-smelling fruit, and Connie looks as if he might vomit if he stays in the kitchen any longer.

Not wanting any extra messes in his kitchen, Nikolo hurriedly rushes them out, saying that they needn’t visit him tomorrow. They only crowd his kitchen anyway and they’re a bother to entertain. In truth, he’s gotten used to their company by now despite being forced to become their chef when he had first arrived, but he doesn’t feel a prisoner here. And although he harbors no murderous feelings towards them anymore, he might kill Connie if the soldier doesn’t keep the contents of his stomach where they’re supposed to be.

Thankfully they all leave after that, and no one looks more grateful than Connie.

As he expected, only Hanji and Sasha return to the kitchen tomorrow although Hanji looks less enthusiastic about the fruit than they did yesterday.

“It got stronger, didn’t it? I could smell it before we even walked into the kitchen,” they say. Today they don’t even get in close to the durian, instead observing it from afar. Nikolo sees the commander put their hands up to their nose as if to pinch it shut, but they always change their mind at the last second. “What a curious fruit it is.”

He can tell from their tone that they’re saying that to be polite. It’s funny that the people are Paradis are being so generous about the fruit (with the exception of Captain Ackerman, but Nikolo is told that the captain is a man who dislikes nearly everything anyway). He can tell them that even on Hizuru and even Marley the durian is widely disliked by others because of its pungent smell, but he enjoys watching them trip over themselves as they try to find something nice to say about it.

“It’s a delicacy in Marley,” he tells them. He savors their expressions – Sasha in complete awe of the fruit and Commander Zoe completely bewildered as if they don’t quite believe him. “Only the nobles eat it because they believe it to be a fruit worthy of gods.”

“It must really be something then,” Sasha whispers in amazement. Unlike the commander, Sasha dares to hover close to the fruit. She stretches out a hand to feel the spikes on the shell only to cry out in alarm, surprised that it’s so sharp. “Wow! How do people manage to even get to the fruit of it then?”

Nikolo hisses, swatting her hand and pushing her away from the durian in case she pricks her finger again. Examining her finger, he finds that she didn’t prick herself enough to draw blood and he knocks her on the head for being an idiot. “Why would you touch it like that when you can see that it’s a dangerous fruit?” he says to her, scolding her like he would a child.

“Is it really worth all this trouble to eat something?” Commander Zoe mutters. They look skeptical that such a thing can even be edible, but Sasha has an entirely different opinion.

“A food fit for the gods,” Sasha murmurs, sucking on her finger. “I’d like to eat something like that…”

“Well, come back in a day or two and it’ll definitely be ready,” Nikolo tells them. Inside he’s grinning to himself, confident that they’ll be too repulsed by the fruit’s stench to stick around and eat it.

When he finally cuts it open, only Sasha returns.

She watches him in complete awe as he hacks away at the spiky shell. He has to tell her to step away multiple times because he’s afraid he’ll cut her face off with how close she’s standing. Even when he finally peels away the shell, revealing the soft, golden meat at its center, Sasha still stands there marveling. He wonders if the smell even bothers her at all, or perhaps she’s never had a sense of smell. Although he’s quite used to it, having eaten the fruit enough times to have grown accustomed to its aroma, it’s still a strong smell. Hell, it managed to frighten everyone out of the nearby rooms because it was so pungent.

It had never occurred to him that someone would actually stay around long enough to eat it. Yelena and Onyankopon had agreed to join him later, but Nikolo was sure that all the Eldians of Paradis would run away at the slightest whiff of the fruit. He thought that it would certainly be true for Sasha, the hunter girl with the heightened sense of smell, and that she’d be the one to run away first, but it seems that everything about the durian intrigues her and she’s determined to discover everything about this food that she had never tasted yet.

“Can I eat it now?” she asks curiously, but she keeps her hands away in case he scolds her again. She’s gotten into the habit of hanging around his kitchen and sneaking tastes of everything he’s made. He’s sure that if he hadn’t caught her so many times, she would have run away with an entire meal and left the rest of them with empty stomachs.

“Try it out, I guess,” Nikolo mumbles.

She carefully picks out a section of the durian’s flesh, handling carefully like one would handle a newborn baby. Sasha studies it carefully, eyes wide with wonder, before she takes her first bite. For someone just introduced to such an exotic fruit, she’s incredibly brave in her first bite, going for an adventurous mouthful rather than a timid nibble. Usually, it’s easy to gauge her reaction just by looking at her face, but this time Nikolo finds it difficult to know what she thinks of the fruit.

For some reason, he’s nervous now. He licks his lips, asking, “What do you think?”

“Magnificent,” Sasha sighs. She turns to him and he sees that familiar smile that he sees whenever she eats something she finds delicious. It makes him feel relieved now that he knows that she enjoys this fruit that so many people can’t stand to even be near. “The texture is very peculiar for a fruit, isn’t it? It’s so creamy! I’ve never had anything like it before. And the taste – sweet, but not like other fruits. It’s this subtle sweetness…and a little bitter too.”

It’s so rare for someone to like this fruit, especially on their first try, and he can’t help but stand there speechless. “You really…like this?” he asks.

“Of course!” she says, taking another bite. “The fact that it has so many defense mechanisms meant to repel people from feeding on it – the spikes, the smell – makes sense when it’s hiding such a delicacy inside of itself.”

He feels a bit guilty for lying to her, but he doesn’t want to admit the lie to her right now, feeling that it might ruin the moment. If he just tells her a little bit of the truth, that will be fine, won’t it?

Nikolo rubs the back of his neck, mumbling, “Well, sometimes it takes people a while to appreciate it because of its smell and strange taste. It’s an acquired taste.”

“Acquired taste,” Sasha says, nodding. He’s not sure if she’s really listening to him because she reaches for another piece of durian to eat, but then she says, “I see, so like you and me.”

“What?” he says, not quite understanding what she’s saying.

“It took you a while to get used to living on Paradis, but now you’re okay living here with all of us,” she says to him. How does she say such things with a straight face? “When you first arrived, you complained about all of us so much! You complained that I was always strange, but now we’re friends. So for you, I’m an acquired taste, right?”

“That’s not…you can’t,” he begins, flustered, but it’s true that he’s become used to living on Paradis. It’s more than that though. There are times where he’s even enjoyed being on this island, liked cooking for the people here because the could introduce them to foods they had never tried before. He had even grown to like Sasha’s company in the kitchen despite her always sneaking a bite here and there. His appreciation for her grew even more after she expressed her approval of the usually unpopular fruit, but to say this so casually and so suddenly has Nikolo all tongue-tied and blushing.

“Hm?” she says, raising an eyebrow. She’s already finished her second piece, licking her fingers clean before she gets another. She could probably finish the entire fruit by herself if she really wanted to.

“Never mind,” he sighs.

She’s already forgotten about it anyway.

[weeaboo-horror-stories]

I am bisexual.

When I was in the 4th grade, at age 11, I met this really cute girl. She was about, what, 4'6 ft tall? She was actually my classmate, but I was always socially awkward. It's a long story, but we eventually became friends. She was REALLY smart and hardworking (in our school, if you're an honor student, you're REAALLY smart.) while i was lazy and average. Of course, back then we were still children. (Btw let's refer to her as "Maki" instead) We both loved anime, and we were total weebs. At that time, I was obsessed with Hetalia. I influenced her to watch it, she was a shugo chara fan. Anddd so she also got addicted.

Anyway, I was pretty fond of drawing, and people saluted me for my skills. Maki worshipped me like a God no im sERIOUS and called me "sensei", because i gave her lots of tips. She overestimated me too much. To the point where she neglected her studies just to talk to me. Although, I myself did not notice that. She always told me that she never had a true friend, and I was her first friend. She always told me that she loved me, and that we will forever be friends until we die. 

Her mother started to notice the big drop of our grades, and blamed me for it. She also started talking back to her, although Maki said that she did that back before we were friends.

Fifth and sixth grade came by, (i am from asia, 6th grade is our last year in gradeschool, but we still remain at the same school.) and her mother's anger at me grew, for Maki's behavior became "worse", as Maki explained. She forbid her to see me, and I was hurt. But she still constantly followed me, we were inseparable. 

Her mother even asked for a transfer of section in 6th grade, just for her to get away from me. But that didn't work either.

I didn't understand, she still remained an honor student, so what's wrong? I was hurt.

So one day, I confronted her. I wasn't rude, if that's what you're thinking. But she screamed at me and demanded at me to leave her daughter alone right in front of the school's catholic church. She called me a demon. Everyone in the school was looking at her with shame, and looking at me with pity. I shaked the tears off, I didn't want her to see me cry. I left afterwards in tears, it wouldn't stop. The only thing that cheered me up was a friend that went with me in the car (because no driver). She was my childhood friend (first friend too. We've been friends for almost 12 years) let's refer to her as Aka.

I never realized I was bisexual until freshman year came. But that's where the real thing comes.

At that time, the school year was ending, and I told her that maybe we should be apart

I had two reasons for saying that.

One, is because I didn't want her to get hurt anymore. Her mother abuses her. It just hurts me to see her hurt, and yet still smile. 

Two, is because I felt odd. I think about her everytime, I go nuts when I don't get to talk to her for a day. I felt so crazy that I didn't know what it was. I had a crush on a boy back then at 4th grade, but the feeling was different somehow. I was so confused. 

When I told her to break it for the 3rd time, we did. But afterwards, we came by again. She told me that she was so sad. I didn't know what to feel, so I smiled at it. It was March. 

My weeaboo phase ended at that month.

I started to watch different things like the vampire diaries...etc.

Afterwards, I have come to the thought that I had feelings for her, so I told her that we should be acquaintances starting our first year of highschool.

When we found out the people we will be classmates with, I told her to be friends with a certain person (lets call her Eli?)

And so she did.

But, I realized how jealous I was after nearly a month.

She made a bunch of friends, while I...made nothing. But that's not why I was jealous

I was jealous because I wasn't with her everyday like we used to, it's not the same anymore. I felt ignored. So I sent her a message. And she answered with

"Heya~ Recieved ur text but ddnt recive load, im NOT trying to ignore you though, i thought we were aquaintances and yes i knew u helped me a lot and i appreciate u for that but you dnt hav d right to tell me whether to make friends or not, because we have our own lives n i do wat i want when i wanna do it n i wanna make friends so what? I actually did make lots this first few weeks of school already. Plus i dont think we can relate to each other anymore.. I love hetalia & anime still but u've gone out of d fandom n went to TVD n PLL, im not really interested in that though,sorry.I still belive dat anime could be real while u think their jst living in ur comp screen. Im not trying to judge ur opinions because i respect ur opinions owo scouting is actually fun though, its not boring nor tiering at all, its pretty fun >w< i luv it. Believe it or not i still miss you but i dont think we can relate. I hav 2 study everyday n night, my grades matter to me, so please dnt say im trying to ignore u by not going to fb, i jst hav 2 study thats y. I cant be on here all the time n i barely hav time to get on here because im trying to make up for my failing ones.. n my phone dsnt lyk recieving load idk y. btw i sti believe my friends wnt leave me and yeah thats all i gotta say bye see u :)"

I felt offended..somehow

So I confronted her, told her that I wanted us to be friends again. But she didn't want to, for she already got a new set of friends. And of course, I wanted to cry. But I didn't want to show it. 

I wanted to shout. 

There was another message, it was her apologizing for offending me. Of course, I didn't see that message. But I confronted her the day before, I think she was offended. No...she IS offended. I felt baddd 

I don't want to reveal anything else, but I sent her a total of 20+ apology messages through deviantart and facebook from July to March of 2014. 

I was seenzoned, and there was so reply.

I cried every night.

I felt so obsessed, stalking her through every site.

I was friends with Eli, and I asked her about what Maki thinks of me. She said that Maki didn't want to talk about it, but she disliked me. Ouch. 

Although, Eli DID say that Maki had an older brother and an older sister who was married, but I knew those were big lies. She only had one sister, which was younger than her. I can't believe she lied, she wasnt the type of person to lie.

At January of 2014, I met a guy from the higher batch (can we call him vans). He made me realize that I was bisexual, that I loved Maki.

So, at April of 2014, I sent her my last message. I even confessed to her that I had a crush on her.

But at October (or so) I sent her another message through deviantart, admitting all faults.

I didn't expect her to reply, but when I checked my deviantart page again, she replied.

I'm too lazy to look up what she said, but she said that she forgave me, asked me how I was, and all. But she sent another message that said that we couldnt be together again, but we are good now.

I was so happy that I cried, screamed, and burried myself in the pillow. Literally. 

Until now, at sophomore year, I still see her. We're still not classmates, and our classrooms are far from each other, but each time I see her..my heart still tends to ache.

We are from different clubs (she is from the english club, while I am from the art club. If the art club wasn't so full, I think we would've been clubmates.)

Next school year, I have a horrible feeling that we will be classmates, due to the fact that I am pretty sure we took the art course. Our school will sort us by course next year, and I'm not sure what I will do if I were to be her classmate once more. Will I breakdown and cry in front of her? Or smile at her, and fall for her all over again? It's not fair. I still want to see her. 

I hope her mother will accept me one day, and I will be able to be close to her once again. I am okay with being "just friends", I just don't want to be apart from her. I hope she understands. 

Maki, if you're reading this, thank you. Thank you for letting me experience being loved, feeling loved. I'm sorry for being such a horrible person back then. Thank you so much.

[jjkmagic]

To Us - Rarepair Week Day 1

Title: To Us

Pairing: Reinzo

Word Count: 2220 Summary: College (Teacher) AU - Reinhardt was supposed to meet the new student teacher today. He knew that, he just didn’t know that said man would be both handsome and charismatic. He couldn’t help it, he was immediately smitten. A/N: Yes, I turned it into an College Teacher AU but I guess it still counts? Also this is basically Pre-Slash... Heavily un-edited btw, I guess I’ll get around to editing after the week is over, until then it’s writing, writing, writing!

To Us

This was not what Reinhardt had expected.

“Professor Wilhelm! Just who I needed!” the college president went on, oblivious to Reinhardt’s stupefaction. “This is Hanzo Shimada, our new student teacher. He is currently working on his PhD, majoring in history, so I’ll leave him in your qualified hands.” Reinhardt could only nod and watch the president leave, obviously satisfied with as little as that. He had always been a person who waited for no one.

That left Reinhardt with one Hanzo Shimada. Yes, he had been informed of the new student teacher he was supposed to take under his wing. He came with the highest recommendations after all and the president had been all but thrilled that such a highly qualified man decided to do their teacher training at a small public college like theirs. Reinhardt just hadn’t expected him to be so young… and handsome. The man’s eyes were a striking grayish-brown, his hair half-shaved, the rest pulled into a tight topknot and his beard trimmed to perfection. His white shirt did little to hide just how fit he had to be beneath. The students were going to be all over him, and Reinhardt wouldn’t even be able to fault them.

He suddenly remembered that he was supposed to do more than just stare at the man.

“Uh, good afternoon. Sorry about the president, he’s always in kind of a rush,” Reinhardt started awkwardly, still a little frown.

“It’s fine. I’m honored that he took the time at all,” Hanzo replied, a faint little smile spreading on his face. “I’m Shimada Hanzo,” he introduced himself again, complete with a small bow, “it’s an honor meeting you, Professor Wilhelm.”

Reinhardt had to keep from blushing at such honest praise, so he covered it the best way he knew how: with a boisterous laugh, patting the man on the back.

“I’m just an old college professor, nothing special there.”

But Hanzo’s eyes gleamed. “I heard quite the opposite, Professor.”

“Better to see the real thing for yourself than listen to rumors.”

“Oh, they’re only good rumors,” Hanzo assured him.

“They might be too good though. You come with the highest recommendations yourself though.” At this the man seemed to deflate a little. Noticing his mistake Reinhardt gave him another encouraging pat on the back. “Seems like you’d rather prove that yourself, rather than through other people’s words, huh? Don’t worry, you’ll get your chance. You’re up to date with today’s schedule?”

The man brightened immediately.

“Yes, of course. I was informed your next presentation would cover an additional lesson on society in Ancient Greece.”

“Very good. You’re familiar with Ancient Greece?”

“Of course, though surely not as much as you Professor Wilhelm,” Hanzo replied immediately.

“Wonderful. I want you to hold the presentation,” Reinhardt said, watching confusion and then shock spread on the younger man’s face.

“Wait, what? You’re not serious, are you?”

“Why not? Learning by doing I say! You can have my materials. The lesson starts 12:15 PM. Don’t be late, the students never let you forget when you’re late,” Reinhardt said, smiling widely at the still visibly shocked Hanzo.

- - - - - - - - -

There was no way. There was just no way Hanzo had never taught before. After initial nervousness he had taken over Reinhardt’s class as if he had never done anything else in his life. All eyes in the room were on him, more than a few pairs had turned visibly heart-shaped the moment Hanzo had entered the room. Good-looking and charismatic as he was it was bound to happen.

That was not what Reinhardt focused on though. Hanzo was working with his notes. Reinhardt had taught this lesson a few dozen times in his career so his notes were little more than a few marginal notes next to the source material. He might even have admitted that it may have been a little unfair of him but… apparently it wasn’t. The moment the first nervous moments had passed Hanzo had jumped right into the material, no pause, no uncertainty there. A solid, logical thread through the material from start to finish. This man had to have been born to taught, the way he silently commanded attention and managed to keep it for hours was all too natural. Reinhardt had taken the time to review Hanzo’s CV, confirming that yes, the man was only 27. Reinhardt had been noticeably older when he started teaching, not even sure is he wanted to teach until his late twenties. So Reinhardt openly admitted that he had wanted to test the man’s mettle but apparently the recommendations had in fact been on point. Hanzo was quite honestly... inspiring and Reinhardt might just be the tiniest bit smitten already. What was he even supposed to teach the man? It seemed like there might even be a few things he could learn from him instead.

“I’m not one to hand out praise where it isn’t appropriate,” Reinhardt said once the lesson had ended and the students had moved on to their next course, “but your presentation was a real pleasure to listen to. I’m sure the students agree.”

Hanzo blushed softly which surprised Reinhardt since the man seemed more than willing to prove himself but he had seemed in no way humble.

“You really think so?”

“Absolutely! I’m almost afraid there is nothing left for me to teach you!”

“You’re exaggerating…” Hanzo said tucking a single strand of hair behind his ear that had escaped from his topknot.

If Reinhardt didn’t know better he would say the man was more nervous talking to him than speaking in front of class of rambunctious young adults.

- - - - - - - - -

“Was that the last lesson for today, Professor Wilhelm?” Hanzo asked at the end of the day. He seemed exhausted though Reinhardt had let him observe all the other lessons. It was probably all the curious students approaching him between lessons though that wore him down so quickly, though it was admittedly adorable to watch. Apparently the man was not used to so much attention outside of the classroom, though Reinhardt found that hard to believe.

“Yes, but please drop the formalities! We’re colleagues now, just call me Reinhardt!”

“If that’s okay with you, Reinhardt.” Oh, he was more than okay with that. There were more than enough people addressing him as Professor on a daily basis. He was glad for every break he could get.

“Sure it is! How about we grab a drink to celebrate your successful first day?”

Again, Hanzo’s first reaction to his suggestion seemed to be blatant confusion, but it slowly turned into a hopeful little smile.

“Yeah… sure, is there a bar you’d recommend?” Reinhardt just barely restrained himself from slinging an arm around Hanzo’s shoulder. Despite their easy companionship during the day that seemed a little too familiar, so he patted him on the back instead possibly with a little too much force but Hanzo didn’t seem to mind.

“Sure I do, my friend! They have the best import beer in the whole town!” Reinhardt couldn’t help but gush. Leaving home that had been one of his biggest worries. It was no secret he liked drinking to relax after an exhausting day and the world had yet to brew a beer better than that from good ole Germany.

“Import, huh? Do they import more than just beer?” Hanzo, to his utter delight seemed honestly interested. “I’m sure they have a thing or two! You looking for something specific...?”

- - - - - - - - - - - -

The walk to the bar was silent but comfortable. The bar was close enough to the college not to warrant driving there and the evening temperature was agreeable as well. Luckily the seats at the counter were free as they usually were this early into the night. Hanzo took the seat to his left as the bartender approached them.

“Reinhardt! How are you? Good, I hope?” the bartender, Mark, greeted him friendly.

“I can’t complain,” Reinhardt offered in response.

“The usual for you then?” Mark asked, smirking at him.

Reinhardt laughed. “Do you even need to ask?” “Guess not,” Mark replied, leaning onto the bar and turning his attention to Hanzo. “And what can I get your friend?”

Hanzo smiled pleasantly though his body language read uneasiness at Mark’s sudden proximity.

“Do you offer any sake perchance?”

Mark looked slightly surprised, and straightened back up to ponder the question. “Not sake… but I think I might still have a bottle of shochu somewhere in the back. Should I go look?”

If Reinhardt’s eyes didn’t fail him, Hanzo visibly brightened at the mention alone. Reinhardt couldn’t blame him, he had been the same when he first heard of Mark’s little bar here. “Yes, that would be appreciated. Thank you.”

Mark nodded. “Be right back then,” he said and disappeared in the back.

“So,” Reinhardt drawls, drawing Hanzo’s attention, “what’s your specialty?”

Hanzo looks at him puzzled and Reinhardt realizes he really should have elaborated at least a little. “You’re a history major but what’s your specialty in the field?” Understanding dawns on the younger man’s face and immediately a soft blush rises to his cheeks.

“Ah, it’s Japanese history,” Hanzo replies then, confirming Reinhardt’s suspicions though he didn’t want to assume. “What is yours?”

At that Reinhardt chuckles and Hanzo looks on amused, waiting for his reply.

“Ah, German history?” Hanzo joins him then, chuckling softly though he tries to hide it. “Gotta stick to your roots, right?” He sees Mark walking back over to them again then, carrying a jug and another much smaller glass. “Speaking of which...” Hanzo follows his line of sight and visibly brightens.

“Did indeed find a bottle of shochu, hope you enjoy!”

Hanzo accepts the glass handed to him almost reverently, merely looking at the clear liquid for a while before taking a first tentative sip. The man seemed perfectly content in that moment but Reinhardt couldn’t help but be bothered by the glasses’ small size. Thinking of how many refills he had on a good day he couldn’t imagine to bother drinking from such a tiny container.

“So, if you don’t mind me asking...” he started waiting for Hanzo’s attention to focus on him again.

“Hm?”

“The president is downright ecstatic but I can’t help but wonder: Why did you chose to apply at a public college. Those recommendations could get you anywhere.”

Hanzo straightened in his seat, looking almost solemn as he considered his words.

“It’s because I could get anywhere,” he said then.

Reinhardt can’t help the unintelligent “Huh” that left his lips at that. Hanzo looked straight at him then.

“Because I can but others can’t. I have simply accepted that for a long time before realizing the unfairness of it all. I don’t want to play a part in this crooked system any more than I have to,” the younger man said, playing mindlessly with the glass in his hands. “I… definitely wanted to apply for an educational institution that is accessible for everyone, regardless of money or influence.”

There was a story there, Reinhardt knew but he won’t pry, not today.

“That’s an admirable mindset,” he said though the words sound lacking even in his own ears. Hanzo was interesting. He rejected empty words of praise even though he wasn’t inherently humble at all and yet his goals were.

Lost in his consideration he almost missed the soft blush rising to Hanzo’s cheeks then as if he suddenly remembered something.

“I gotta admit though,” he started and Reinhardt refocused his attention, “when it came to which public college to apply to. I might have seen some of your presentations online and was… inspired I guess is the right word. I decided then that a place where you taught couldn’t be a bad place to be,” Hanzo finished, a careful little smile on his face that really paled in comparison to the one spreading on Reinhardt’s face then.

“That’s honestly the best compliment I have ever heard! I’m definitely glad you’re here! I’m sure you’ll be a great teacher someday! Might even be able to learn a thing or two from you!”

Hanzo averted his gaze then, suddenly very interested in his drink again. “That’s expecting too much. I lack your experience after all. What could you possibly learn?”

Reinhardt waited a moment to make sure that Hanzo didn’t intend to actually drink before giving him an encouraging pat on the back.

“You never know, my friend! You never know!”

He picked up his drink then, raising it and looking at Hanzo expectantly. The younger man obviously recognized the gesture for what it was but still seemed slightly confused. “A toast?”

Reinhardt laughed then, loud and honest. “You catch on quick, just as expected from my new colleague!”

He watched a faint smile find its way back onto Hanzo’s face as the man turned toward him once more, raising his own glass slightly.

“What would we toast to though?” he asked.

“What else would we toast to?” Reinhardt asked, laughing once more when that only gained him confusion from the other man. “To us of course!”

Hanzo laughed, still obviously subdued but Reinhardt would get him to open up eventually, and raised his glass in earnest.

“To us then,” he said and their glasses clinked together.

[talkiermango502x]

Weird date story! If you can even call it that...more like the time a guy I hadn’t really met decided we were in a relationship and stalked me for months.

When I was 19, I worked at a bar with my best friend. One night when I was off work, she gave my number to a random guy she’d just met. She said they’d been flirting, and he explained he was looking for a serious girlfriend, but since she was already in a serious relationship she said she knew the perfect girl for him. (Let’s play count the red flags, shall we? Both for the now ex-best friend and this guy.)

That night, he started texting me, and let me tell you, he was relentless. First thing the next morning I got a “good morning, beautiful” text (we had never seen each other, btw). On the second night of texting me (we hadn’t even met yet), he texted me to tell me he’d told his mom about me. He asked if I wanted to come to her house to meet her tonight (it was already 11pm), and then invited me on a camping trip with him over the weekend. I said no, I didn’t know him yet, I wasn’t comfortable meeting his mother or going camping in the woods with a stranger.

Stepping back, he asked me on a date but our schedules didn’t line up for another few days. So we set up a meet for about three days from then. The following night while I was working, a coworker came over and said there was a man looking for me and asked if she should let him know I was working or if I wanted to talk to him. I had my older coworker and security guard (a friend of mine) keep an eye on us while I went over to serve him.

The guy said he’d gotten impatient waiting to meet me and wanted to move our “relationship” forward. He had showed up specifically to have dinner with me during my break and intended to wait until after my shift ended (12am) for us to finish our date. I told him this was kind of inappropriate, to show up at my place of work and expect an impromptu date. I didn’t appreciate him surprising me like this. He said he intended for it to be romantic.

He spent the next few hours sitting at the table, watching me work. My security guard friend went over to talk to him during the waiting, to get a feel for what we were dealing with. He came by later and said to watch out, the guy was kind of weird. The guy seemed to think we were in an established serious relationship. I asked my friend to wait with me during my break and after to make sure I got through it safely.

During my 30 minute break, he asked if I’d like to go to a nearby park for dinner. I refused, saying I wasn’t comfortable with that given that I didn’t know him. He said a lot of strange things—how my friend had talked me up and I sounded like perfect serious girlfriend material, how he couldn’t wait to introduce me to his mom, how he was searching for a serious relationship and was really glad we’d met. He never really asked anything about me, instead just sort of word vomiting all this stuff at me.

I went back to work and then he started talking to my coworkers, especially the male ones, and asking about me, how they knew me, what their relation was to me. Kind of weird and possessive. Another coworker came by and said he’d introduced himself as my boyfriend. By now, I’m completely irritated. Since I can’t get away, I text him and tell him to stop telling people he’s my boyfriend, we just met. He replies and says he was making sure my male coworkers knew I was off the market. There was a lot to unpack there and I couldn’t deal with it at work and over text.

Before I got off my shift, I asked my security guard friend to stay out in the parking lot and keep an eye out. I told the date guy that I was really tired and felt grubby from work, so wouldn’t be hanging around. He as really upset about it and demanded to walk me out to the parking lot. If my security guard friend wasn’t following me, I’d never have allowed it.

He then told me to come see his car. He went on and on, never listening to me, about his car. He said he was into street racing. His ex-girlfriend was really into it because of him. He told me a story about how he’d been racing for pink slips and lost; the other guy pulled a gun on him so his ex-gf blocked the other guy with her car while he made a getaway with the street race car. His ex-gf had been shot at and ended up in the hospital. I spoke up and said that was really shitty that he abandoned his gf to deal with a gunman while he went off with his car. He said I just didn’t understand cars and needed to learn to be a ride or die chick to be with him. I laughed and said that wasn’t gonna happen. I kept interrupting him and saying I needed to get home.

I basically had to just start walking to my car and climb in, but he held the door and wouldn’t let me shut it. He tried to kiss me and told me he was excited for our relationship. He explained he wanted a serious relationship before going into the military, so he’d been waiting to enlist because he wanted a fiancé to be waiting for him. I said I would talk to him later and rushed out of there.

My security guard friend was basically like a big brother. He protected me all the time from creepy men and I’d brought him along on more than one blind dates. That night, my friend texted me, worried. The next day at work, he helped me decide how to end this safely.

I called the guy on my break and told him I didn’t think we would be a good match, that I wasn’t really into it, he wanted something I wasn’t interested in, etc. The guy started sobbing and begging. He then said he was coming to work (he’d gotten my schedule from my friend, and told me he knew what hours I was working). I told him I wasn’t interested and to please leave me alone.

An hour later, he showed up at the bar, crying and begging for me to take him back. He accused other male coworkers of splitting us up. Eventually he made such a scene security had to remove him from the building. He then went out to my car, bashed in my taillight and wrote “fuck you bitch” on my window.

What happened next was several months of being stalked. He kept getting my school and work schedules from my friend. She said i had overreacted and didn’t realize what a cute couple we would make. She insisted we get back together. The guy had told her a bunch of lies about our time together (which honestly was him just staring at me while I worked). The guy kept showing up at the bar, telling me how he wanted me back. He threatened a few male coworkers for talking to me. He was eventually banned, and would instead sit in the parking lot or on the street waiting for me. He started showing up at my college looking for me. After a month or so, he got less aggressive and instead played the guilt card. He would find me and tell me how he was depressed since we broke up, how he’d been drinking. My friend had him on Facebook and got concerned because he’d posted a bunch of suicidal posts about missing me, life not being worth living without me, how if he didn’t get me back, he was going to end it.

A few weeks later he found a new girl and mostly moved on. He showed up at the bar about four months after all this and followed me around, being mopey and telling me he was really depressed since we’d broken up but he was moving on. He seemed to be trying to make me jealous. Honestly I felt like I dodged a billet. I never even knew his last name.

[misssophiachase]

Can’t Help Falling in Love

@livingdeadblondequeen finally your crossroads prompt request with the awesome Goldie Hawn movie Overboard is finally taking shape!!! Hoping you can have the rest for Thanksgiving. Just want to give you something on this occasion cause I adore our chats and love you long time hehe. Here’s a long awaited preview, luv (role reversal btw). 

Klaus is a rich, yacht owner who ends up in small town in Oregon with mechanical difficulties. Asking a local carpenter for assistance with a closet while they’re stranded turns out to be the beginning of an interesting and vengeful scenario.  

 Elk Cove, OR

“Well, the entire civilized world knows that all closets are made of cedar.”

“Well, here in Elk Cove see we don't know 'bout them closets, nor bathrooms neither. Why you're lucky I’m even house broken.”

“Nice pretend accent, you’re just being facetious now,” the English snob scowled. Caroline was fairly certain it was his default setting. “Not that you’d probably know what that word means of course.” 

“You’re right,” she agreed sarcastically but knowing exactly what it meant, earning a curious glance in return. “I’m not house broken at all, I lied.”

“My yacht is broken down and stuck at port in this god forsaken town and all I wanted was a bloody closet built below,” he hissed. “But then you show up and…”

“And what?” She asked, hands now firmly on hips. She couldn’t miss his dark, blue eyes flicker lazily over her short, denim shorts and t-shirt combination, albeit briefly.

She should have been offended because even though he was an insolent ass he was also unfortunately, extremely attractive. That dark, blonde hair curling over his ears teasingly and a pair of sinful crimson lips doing nothing to soothe her unexpected arousal.  

“Well, I guess I thought being a carpenter you’d be somewhat different.”

“Oh, I know what you’re getting at, buddy. You know, not sure what decade you were born but, not all carpenters are men and your sexist attitude isn’t appreciated.” What he did next she didn’t expect. Instead of the frown that had been permanently plastered on his face since she arrived, Caroline noticed a small but playful tug on his lips. “And I expect full payment.”

“Oh, I won’t be paying you anything, Miss Forbes. As I’ve said many times, although you don’t seem to understand, this isn’t what I requested,” he reiterated stubbornly. 

“What, not enough shoe racks for your extensive collection of designer stilettos?” Again, his expression surprised her, that playful tug now morphing into a full blown smirk. Bastard.

“I’ll pass on your footwear compliments to my wife,” he chuckled. Caroline immediately wondered what she saw in this smug idiot. Until she appeared, almost on cue, and the mystery was solved. They were just as frustratingly vain as each other.  

“Niklaus,” she bleated, her high pitched voice well and truly cutting through the stifling air. “These gnats keep landing on my wet nail polish. I guess I'm supposed to walk around with their little corpses stuck to my fingers, is that it?

“Well...”

“Oh yeah, it's easy for you to say. You don't have to sit out here in the heat with your hair frizzing to oblivion. I look like some sort of a bushman.” Caroline had to resist the urge not to laugh at the brunette princess whose day was ruined by some unexpected nail polish drama. 

“And you are?” She drawled, taking in her appearance judgmentally. Caroline had dealt with many difficult customers in the past but never the self entitled, vanity twins. As much as she wanted her money, Caroline much preferred getting as much distance between them as possible.

“The person you met earlier this morning but I can understand your memory loss in the horrible drama you’ve been dealing with.” She couldn’t miss his earlier smirk increasing even stretching further across his face. “I’ll be on my way.” She grabbed her tools and strode towards the stern purposefully.

“But, your money,” he called out behind her retreating back.

“So, you’ll give it me?”

“Well, no,” he  baulked. Caroline was beginning to realise this guy liked to tease and nothing more. 

“But I earned that,” she argued, finally turning to face him. 

“Sorry sweetheart, but you really didn’t.”

“Asshole,” she replied gruffly, not bothering to look backwards again as she stomped away. 

She’d worked her ass off and deserved to be paid. Obviously he could afford it but had no intention of rewarding her hard work. Caroline struggled for every penny but he didn’t care. These were two people she could live without for the rest of her life. “And don’t ever call me sweetheart.”

5 days later...

“So, what exactly do I do?” Klaus asked, looking around the small room ominously. The mystery blonde had rescued him from the Elk Cove local hospital after falling overboard in the dead of night from his yacht and his resulting amnesia was profound. 

“You stay at home and do the housework while I earn us a living,” she explained slowly. Even though she wasn’t at all familiar to him yet, Klaus knew she was extremely attractive attired in a floral, blue dress and fitted, denim jacket with her golden waves fanned out across her back. 

“But these hands don’t look...”

“Look?”

“Domesticated.” She paused briefly and Klaus couldn’t miss the slight roll of her blue eyes.

“You’ve suffered a heavy blow to the head which is understandable, but maybe you should try and do some housework, so you can familiarise yourself.”

Klaus looked at her blankly, still perplexed. Apparently she was his wife according to the hospital and this was his life even if it felt so foreign right now. Unbeknownst to him, Caroline considered this plan her well deserved revenge.

TBC... 

[clove-teasdale]

crazy odds

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

A/N: challenge #1 has come! rps with @eloiseduval who helped set up something else without even knowing about it (ur amazong) and @nathaniel-schreave ‘s interview yay! I apologize in advance for any grammar stuff or typos. have fun, it’s kinda long. There’s a small thing in the end that will play a part in an arc grace and I have agreed on, so if you wonder why that’s being brought up by clove, it’s cause she’ll be involved. mentions of @brooks-schreave & @illeaillustrated ayeeee. (Changing back to my usual past tense on fics btw)

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

Lady Collette Bennett, also known as Jace’s mother, stood before us with the same elegance I expected from her when I was younger. Defined cheekbones, piercing eyes and perfect posture to match. 

“Good morning, ladies, I trust you all slept well,” she said, nodding before introducing herself.

I’d always admired her work as a royal planner. Organizing royal events wasn’t something just anyone could pull of successfully by chance. There were a million things consider and calculate. It’s not about what you think is right, it’s about what is right. Everything depends on the event and who will attend. If there will be international guests involved or just Illean diplomats. The true purpose of the event, the theme, the expected outcomes… Etiquette, proper manners and respectful interactions are huge priorities. 

It seemed her job during the Selection would be indulging us with such knowledge. No back talking, no disobedience, and absolutely no unladylike conduct were her terms. Her voice stern in an attempt to make sure we understood such things weren’t debatable. I feared thirty-five different minds would be enough for improbability to exist though. Always expect the unexpected.

“I am going to teach you all a proper curtsy,” she continued.  Her curtsy as natural as it should be from someone that had done it a million times. “You will do this as you greet a royal or anyone of importance. Prince Nathaniel will call each of you one by one for a short interview. You will address him as ‘your highness’ and curtsy unless he says otherwise.”

I smiled a bit at the thought of calling Nate ‘your highness’. I only ever addressed his parents with proper titles and I doubted he would want to stick with that himself. It would seem too impersonal for his taste, especially under these circumstances…or at least it would’ve been to younger Nate. Regardless of my inner thoughts, Lady Collette kept explaining. 

Some girls struggled a bit when we got to curtsies, which I had to admit was slightly amusing to watch, but I couldn’t really judge. I learned that kind of stuff since pretty much the moment I could walk. It was expected of me considering the people I was surrounded by because of my parents. 

Seats were also assigned and I was surprisingly graced by being at the end of the table in front of the royal family. There wasn’t room to establish a conversation with them unless you wanted everyone to hear, but still, I decided to take it as something good. Lady Eloise and Venus–if I remembered the names correctly from the magazines–were closest to me on the table. I was undecided on whether I’d find them appealing or not yet.

Lady Collette went through all of us to make sure we’d learned the proper way to greet a royal and I watched, hands placed inside the pockets of my dress, as different girls showed their final results. My eyes skimmed across the room, trying to determine who I’d be living with for the next few months until a scoff rose over the chatter. 

“What do you mean I need to work on my curtsy?”

I gave the blonde girl a feet away from me a glance as she tried to go toe to toe with none other than Lady Collette. She’s in for a wild ride.

Apparently, the girl thought she had these “fancy classes” mastered. When she was asked to prove it, however, her attempts were rather unimpressive and a voice next to me muttered how rude she was being. 

Without even thinking I mumbled back, “She’s not even doing it right.” 

“You’d think she’d realize that for herself.” The voice replied and I cleared my throat, realizing I’d said that aloud. The thought made me stand up straighter. Usually, people didn’t appreciate my bluntness, so I kept it for myself. Blurting it out for others to hear was one of those things I avoided.

“Yeah, I don’t think she knows what she’s talking about.” When I took a look at the girl talking with me I found Eloise staring at the same blonde. 

Brown hair framed her face of disapproval as she shook her head, an expression I hadn’t spotted in her previously. So far she’d had a sweet smile and friendly aura from afar. 

“She’s only making it worse for herself.” 

“She won’t do well with Nate if she keeps that up.” Prideful and not willing to learn… “Is she a Two?”

“I believe so. I think she’s an actress.” Her eyes narrowed a bit as she tried to match a name to the face. “Adeline Brown.”

“She thinks being an actress translates to knowing proper etiquette?” I snorted. “She’s not dealing with the same rules.” I paused to consider my words. “Actually, she’s not even playing the same game.”

I wondered if other girls thought what Lady Collette would teach us was stuff you could learn randomly. Sure, some general manners were at play, but that wasn’t the same as royal etiquette.

Eloise laughed. “And she doesn’t even know it. I almost feel bad for her.”

I smirked back. “Well, I don’t. She’s too loud.”

We joked a bit more about that, watching how the rest gave her disapproving glances too. Then I decided not to waste more of my attention on her and changed the subject with Eloise. The old nickname I used for Nate almost slipped out of my mouth during our exchange, but I shook my head at the habit. She raised an eyebrow but made no further inquiries.

I figured sitting across from her during breakfast wouldn’t be too bad as she understood sarcasm and appreciated random, nonsensical joking. She could be a good option to befriend. Or at least to try to befriend. After some simple questions, I figured she was a sweet, blue, summer and night person.

I raised an eyebrow at the last one–the only one I thought unexpected– but nodded again. “Alright, 3 out of 4 isn’t bad.”

“3 out of 4? Was that a test?”

“For myself, yes.” It’s interesting to see how well you can read someone with simple things. “I guessed everything except night. I thought you’d be more of a day person.”

“Ah, I see. I’ve always been more of a night owl, and I used to go out a lot.”

“Oh my, a party gal, huh?”

“In a way. I was more about the dancing with my friends all night rather than the,” she waved a hand in the air, “drinking too much and not being able to remember anything at all.”

“Good, you use your logic then. Had me worried there for a sec.”

“Well, you’re justified in that. You’re not the first person who equates ‘party girl’ with ‘lacking complete logic.’”

I shrugged with a lopsided grin, “Hey, you can’t blame me if I base my opinion on actual proof, right?”

“Definitely not.”

She asked for any wild backstories on my part, but there wasn’t much to say. High school parties weren’t my thing. “Too many people making noise… Also not a particular fan of watching people dancing like they need a room.”

Her nose wrinkled. “They aren’t fun to be around either.” 

I shuddered at the thought of being in the actual crowd of sweaty teenagers. Dance floors were not for me. “That would make it worse.”

“Especially when they try to dance with you and you’re obviously not the least bit interested.” She muttered.

“Well…I punched a guy once for that actually.” I remembered Dax Thomson’s face as he almost stumbled to the ground very clearly. He was the son of the renowned basketball star, Johnny Thomson, but at the moment I was only thinking of the personal space he invaded and not who it was that I was punching. I’m pretty sure I would’ve punched him regardless of knowing. He’d approached me to ‘dance’ even though I was standing near the snack bar with my back to him after all, and we were not friends. 

He even had the nerve to smirk as he backed away from me when I kept my expression stern, the punch already delivered. Some of his friends laughed in the distance and told him they knew it was a bad idea to try. The only comforting thought was that most of them knew not to mess with me. “It was just reflex since he came out of nowhere,” I added, “but I can’t say I feel too bad about it.”

Eloise snorted. “I wouldn’t either. I haven’t punched anyone, but there have been a few times I,” she made air quotes, “‘accidentally’ stomped on a foot or two. It’s pretty satisfying.” A mischievous grin appeared at the end of her statement and I couldn’t help but be amused. 

“What a rebel you are.”

She gave one last shrug with mock pride. “We are who we are.”

I mentally prepared myself as Nate stood up and gave me a small bow. “Hello Lady Clove, I’m Prince Nate.”

I smiled a bit at his insistence to make a formal introduction of himself like I didn’t know him. My curtsy was slightly more dramatic than what Lady Collette had asked for in response. “I was told I must not address you as anything but ‘your highness’ now”

“Oh really,” he raised both eyebrows and I wondered if it was as weird for him to see me in person after years of not meeting. “At least I can still call you Logs.”

It was strangely nice to hear he still kept the nickname in mind as we sat down on a small couch. Logs and Hot Wheels. I couldn’t remember how we’d gotten to calling each other that, but we had. One day to the next we were calling each other the name of the toy we played most with instead of our given names.

“I wasn’t even that obsessed,” I scoffed

He gave me a ��yeah sure’ look. “The logs are the only reason you ever came here.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, but then crossed my arms with a smirk. “Yeah, you’re right. Only interesting thing in this old place was the logs.”

“Well when you’re seven, yeah. We have a lot of cooler things now.”

“Like the mystery room where you play your guitar that is definitely not the music room?” I joked with a short laugh, remembering some of the things he’d said to the media.

“No, the secret music room is a different room, gosh.”

I raised both hands in surrender. “Yes, yes, I know. Hopefully, I’ll figure that one out eventually.”

“I’m shocked you don’t have this place memorized.”

“Well, your secret spot was nonexistent back when I came around here.”

“It was just a room in the palace at that point.”

I smiled mischievously. “Care to give any hints?”

He feigned considering it. “Umm… Nah, it’s secret.”

I placed a hand on my heart. “Not even for your childhood friend?”

“Nope, sorry.” He didn’t seem sorry at all. “So how has your father been?”

Slightly annoying. Fixing the skirt on my dress, I decided to say instead: “Oh, you’ve probably seen him around here. He’s as good as ever, showering your father with amazing advice.”

“Yes, I’ve worked with him too you know.”

“Is that so?” I smiled, leaning forward with my elbows on my legs and resting my head sideways on my palm. “Please, do share. Is Hot Wheels growing into the mantle of heir already?”

He copied my movements, a playful smile on his face. A familiar smile and glinting eyes staring back at me. “Oh yes, little Hot Wheels is growing up to be a king one day. What’s little log doing with her life?”

I laughed. “God, I wish I knew. I’m taking a gap year for now…Film student sounds fun, but I’m still not convinced.” I paused. “As you can see I decided to go for Queen then because that makes perfect sense.”

“Ah yes, is that why you signed up? Or is it because you couldn’t wait to see us again?”

“I don’t know…” He hadn’t sounded upset when he said it, so I grinned, blinking rapidly in faux flirt. “Did you miss my outstanding presence?”

“Will it make you happy if I say yes?”

I pretended to ponder on my answer. “Good question. It could make me happier. In theory.”

“Well bummer, I have to meet more girls,” he pretended to feel bad about it as he stood up again. “Lovely talking to you again. Bye logs.”

I gave him a glare, following suit. “You’re no fun, Hot Wheels.”

He flashed me a fake smile and waved goodbye like he was in some cheesy teen movie. I rolled my eyes and headed out after a sloppy captain-style salute. He had teased me a bit more than usual, but all in all, not as awkward as I’d been afraid of. 

When you suddenly disappear without a word to come back after years of no contact… you don’t exactly expect to be received with open arms. Not that I ever did anything wrong and we were pretty young, but I stopped accompanying my dad on visits to the palace without a warning. Nothing other than an excuse, that I wasn’t even there to give myself, but was passed down to them by my dad. “School finally taking over my time,” I’d said, unable to say the actual reason to anyone.

Maybe I could make up for lost time with the Selection.

Seated to finish breakfast after interviews, we watched as the royal family filed in to eat with us, each taking a spot on the table to my left. I smiled at all the familiar faces–or at least I did till my eyes landed on Brooks and he sat on the spot that was right across from me when I turned my head in the direction of the table.

This has to be a joke.

My lips turned into a thin line as he made eye contact, a smug smile at my misfortune, practically saying, ‘Sucks to be you’. I sighed through my nose and stared down at my plate, asking myself why life hated me when Eloise addressed me.

“Not a fan of Brooks?” she asked, getting me to focus on her. I took a second to process the question.

“Uh…” my eyes flickered to the aforementioned without facing in his direction. “Well, he’s a prince.”

She raised an eyebrow with a smile. “I’m not sure I follow. He’s pretty friendly.”

I’m sure he is. I rolled my eyes. “So he claims.”

She laughed. “I actually ran into him last night and he mentioned you weren’t a fan of him.”

I stared at her without a word for a moment. Brooks had mentioned me? Was he trying to make me look bad? Way to act like a child. 

Still, I smiled a bit to be friendly. “I don’t tend to be a fan of anyone really, but he’d be at the bottom of the list.”

“Ah.” Her smile turned sheepish. “Well, sorry if I pried or anything, I’m just curious.”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind sharing that he sucks,” I said, picking up the fork I needed quickly. “Are you a fan of Mr. smarty pants?”

“I certainly don’t dislike him. He was pretty sweet,” she admitted, cocking her head to one side, “but you seem to know him better than I do.”

I gave her a half shrug, sparing the girls around the table a glance. “I doubt he talked too greatly about me, but I’ll let you form your own opinion of him. He was a stupid kid and it seems that hasn’t changed much. Meaning he’s still annoying.”

She nodded. “I’ll see how that goes, getting to know him I mean.” A cautious look of curiosity crossed her eyes as she added, “Can I ask how you know the royal family already?”

“Right, I keep forgetting.” Not everyone recognized who my father was. “Clove Teasdale. Daughter of Lance Teasdale, a royal adviser to the king, usually looking out for the beautiful province of Columbia, but somehow always involved in general matters.” I made my voice slightly dramatic so it sounded more like a joke than me bragging. There was always someone that could take it as that when it was nothing but the simple truth.

She raised both eyebrows in surprise. “Crazy odds, that you’d end up being a Selected.”

What is that supposed to mean?

“Crazy odds for everyone really…” I mumbled, cautious as well, but quick to change the focus away from myself. “What’s your background? I’m pretty sure I’ve heard Duval somewhere before.”

“Well, I just mean since your family already has ties with the Schreaves, but yes.” She shrugged, easily smiling again. “Definitely small odds for all of us.” She fiddled with her fork before answering my question. “My parent’s actually founded Duval Studios, a record label.”

“Ah, yes, you are to inherit that one day I presume?”

She nodded with a sigh, and for a second it seemed like the thought displeased her. Interesting. I took a sip from my drink as she said, “That’s the plan. Although now with all this, we might have to tweak it a bit.” 

I glanced at Nate over my shoulder. “Yes, we’ll have to wait and see…”

Breakfast the previous day had turned into a slight disaster as some of the girls didn’t understand Lady Collette’s instruction of no disobedience. Even if I’d foreseen something like that to happen I hadn’t expecting it on the first day.

So much for expecting the unexpected.

They’d fought over a piece of paper. Paper. Never mind politics. Girls can start a war over a paper ball. I sighed, staring at the ceiling, wondering if I could skip breakfast when Jacinda barged into the room. She was both the youngest of my maids and the most enthusiastic.

“Lady Clove, you’re on the list!” She exclaimed, holding a magazine in her hand. 

I raised an eyebrow, sitting up and noticing Fleur Quinn on the cover of the new Illea Illustrated issue. “What list?“ 

“The popularity poll!”

Oh… I took the magazine from her after she opened on the last page. I was right bellow Eloise, in the first three. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t surprised. It was sort of nice to know people liked me …for some reason. I read over the rest of the names.

Camille Marshall. Eloise Duval. Clove Teasdale. Stephanie Castello. Venus Vale. Evelyn Fenton. Victoria Seaberg. Fleur Quinn.

A frown slowly formed. Military ties, record studio founder, royal adviser, model and previous Selected, youtube makeup sensation, renowned writer, TV icons. 

Crazy odds.

It made sense that over half the girls on the list were well known. It was the girls people connected with and knew about more that would stand out now, but Eloise’s words kept echoing in my head either way. Crazy odds. 

She’d made a fair point even if it was something easily overlooked when you considered it was basically a lottery. All odds were crazy. But still, my dad was deeply connected with the monarchy and I already knew the royal family.

“Is something wrong?” Jacinda asked and I snapped out of my thoughts.

“Huh? Oh, yes…Did we happen to keep the last issue?” 

She nodded and searched for it in the drawer of my desk. I flipped to the last pages, remembering general information from all the Selected was there. Information that I’d previously thought the magazine should’ve glossed over was suddenly important. When Jacinda asked again why I needed the magazine I told her I just wanted to look up some of the names I didn’t recognize and asked if she could bring me some tea.

As soon as she left the room I scurried to the desk and took out a notebook, opening on a fresh page. It felt stupid, like I was being some paranoid conspiracy theorist. There were plenty of those to go around, but I couldn’t help be curious. 

You can’t play chess if you don’t know your pieces, dad would always say.

10 Twos. 8 Threes. 9 Fours. 7 Fives. 1 Seven. 

Twos took over almost a third of us. Higher castes–whether you considered Four to be high or not–took over half of us. Twos and Threes alone being 51% of the total.

Crazy odds.

But how crazy, really?

[j-wonwootrash]

Hoshi || Your Eyes

Word count: 4.4k Genre: Fluff, Gangster!au (not really) A/N: Just tried a different genre from the usual.

“It’s what you do that made me..not like you.”

———

Gossips. You’re sick of hearing them. Not even a single word of positivism. What do you gain in such conversations? Nothing. For all you know it’s more of backstabbing people you barely know and never feel a pierce of guilt.

“Hey it’s him.” “Man I really can’t stand his presence.” “Don’t tell me he’ll be with us this semester.” “Sigh, even if he is, no one will notice him.” “Everyone fears him because of his looks.”

You’re a type of person who’d stay away from trouble and all those drama. Don’t entertain it Y/N. It’s not worth listening.

You stared at him as he enters the classroom. I guess he does look a bit scary and his aura seems to outstand amongst others.

“Sigh, I just checked our class’ attendance list. Apparently he’ll be with us this semester.” Jaein whispered as she sat beside you.

You didn’t respond for a minute and just shrugged it off. “I don’t understand why people can give criticism to someone so easily.” You slid your fists under your chin while flicking your pen repeatedly.

“Ha, Kwon Soonyoung is part of a gang. Have you heard? He had countless of fights after school. And people says he’s the one who starts it.” She hissed softly in case Soonyoung hears her.

“Not interested in the facts you give when I haven’t seen it myself.” You took your laptop and switched it on. Jaein elbowed your arm and pain came shortly after.

“What was that for?” Your lips parted, expressing the pain you received.

“Yah! You don’t trust me? I’m your childhood friend.” She glared at you.

“Hearing is deceiving Jaein.” You smiled and she knew you were playing with her.

———

“Class, I need you to come here at the front to get your application forms for the field trip scheduled next next week.” Your home teacher announced. “Line up alphabetically please.”

As you lined up and waited for your turn, you hear ‘pst’ sounds. Is it calling me? Nah, it’s not.

You took your form and turned around, but your face collided to a hard chest. Looking up, you saw Kwon Soonyoung.

Crap.. He must be fuming with irritation now. Too shocked to move, you stood there with paper in your hand.

He looks.. really hot up close.. Wait why am I fangirling over him when he’s in a gang? You’re weird Y/N.

His body slowly moved forward, nearing to yours. You clutched your papers as he brought his arm to pass behind you, getting his papers.

“Next time, you should really leave the queue. You’re causing inconvenience to the rest of us back here.” He said in a low voice.

“Sorry.” You murmured. You expected him to give a death glare as if he’s going to steal the life out of you.

Instead, a small grin of sincerity appeared on his lips.

Did he just.. smiled?? My eyes are probably blurry. I need glasses.

Your home teacher clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention.

“Okay. I’ve written down your class numbers on the board and check who your field trip partner is.” She filed her folders as she took a sip from her coffee.

“Oh. And one more thing. Please decide who your roommate will be and give it to me first thing in the morning.“ 

“Looks like we’ll be partners on this one Y/N. Cause’ you know, you’re Kim and I’m Kwon.” Soonyoung said as you flinched hearing his voice.

“Yeah. Guess we are.” You nodded.

———

“Y/N? What’s up with you?” Jaein waved to snap you back to reality. “You’re daydreaming.”

“Sorry.” You scratched your head in embarrassment. “Was just thinking about someone.”

“Who? Your ex boyfriend again?” She joked.

“No- Hey I’m not that brokenhearted! You and your conclusions. Aish!” You flicked her nose.

“Really? You cried for two months!” She laughed even harder now. “Y/N, you know there’s a lot of good boys out there and-” You covered her mouth to silence her.

“Keep it down will ya?” You whispered and mouthed the words “it’s another guy”. She understood and grabbed your hand, shoving it away.

“A fish in your fish tank already?”

“Nope, but he’s getting there.” You grinned.

“Aigoo.. You playgirl. Do I know him? Because you gotta introduce him to me and then get my approval.” She joked.

You didn’t want to reveal the boy who has been on your mind: Soonyoung.

She will definitely take it the wrong way. Bad boys aren’t meant to be mingled with, especially when they’re in the gang. Who knows what will happen?

“I’ll just keep it a secret for now.” You laughed as you left the classroom. Jaein followed you soon after.

“Oh so that’s how it’s gonna be? Then he’s gotta be good if it’s a secret. Surprise me then.” She walked beside you. “Btw, who is your field partner?”

This made your heart jump a little. Agh why does your questions have to be related to Soonyoung? I know it is a coincidence and all but..

“Uhh.. You might want me to change partners if I say his name.”

Her mouth gaped and rolled her eyes. “Don’t tell me it’s that punk. I’m gonna-”

“There’s nothing I can do with it. It’s already fixed since our surnames are right after another.”

“Alright.. Just be careful. You don’t know what that punk can do.”

———

The day of field trip came just in a flash. Or maybe it’s just you who’s too busy with school work and late part-time job that made you lose track of the dates. You were dead tired and before you even know it, you overslept, a little.

08:30 A.M! Shucks! 30 minutes til’ the coach leaves!

A good trait about you is that you organize so well and in advance. Your flaw? Waking up in the early morning.

In a lightspeed, you quickly took a shower and dressed up and left your apartment. Running to school, you saw a coach bus closing its doors.

“Wait! Mrs Jung! That’s Y/N!” Jaein told your homeroom teacher.

“Right when we’re about to leave. She’s always late at times like these.” She mumbled.

Once you’ve reached the bus, Mrs Jung crossed her arms but you knew she wasn’t that strict. “I apologize, Mrs Jung. I had a night shift. I promise it won’t happen again.”

“I have no comment. You’ve caught up at least. Go and sit down.” You nodded as you walked at the bus aisle. Your eyes looked for Jaein and when they did, the seat next to her is taken.

Where should I sit? You wondered and felt a tug down your sleeve.

“Just sit beside me. I was late too. No more seats at the back.” Soonyoung pulled your sweater and you fell beside him. A smirk appeared on his lips. “I hope you’re still awake, Y/N.”

“Aha, what made you ask that?” You plugged one earphone bud to your ears. “I’m perfectly awake after knowing the time.”

“Wearing an oversized hoodie? It’s from the boys’ section. Everyone can tell. Is it your brother’s?” His chuckle was loud for you but not enough for the others to hear.

You looked down at your stomach area. Crap. It’s my ex’s sweater.

“I.. uh..” You took a deep breath. “It was my ex’s. He gave it to me when I got drenched from the rain. Didn’t realize I wore it until you told me.” You plugged another earphone bud to your ears.

Soonyoung knew that sweater you’re wearing. He knew it too well. It was Doyoon’s, his gang leader. “I’m sorry you had to face that experience.” He whispered as he held your head to lean on his shoulder, slightly smiling as you sleep so soundly. “I’m really sorry.”

Though he is in no position to apologize on Doyoon’s behalf, saying “sorry” was no effect because he knew you couldn’t hear him; well, for now.

———

“Y/N are you okay?!” Jaein ran to you as the class stood in front of the coach bus. “I was so worried when I saw that punk pulled you to sit next to him. That jerk!”

“Jaein, it’s okay. I’m okay. No harm faced.” You took your bags and went for the queue.

“Sheesh that’s a relief. I thought you were dead. You weren’t replying to my messages.” She rubbed her forehead.

“I appreciate your concern but seriously stop exaggerating things!” You flicked her nose. “Instead of thinking ‘oh she’s probably asleep.’, you thought of ‘no! she’s dead!’. What am I? Poultry? Besides.. He’s not gonna harm me.” You rolled your eyes. “So much for a best friend.”

Jaein felt embarrassed and chuckled. “Right.”

Mrs Jung signaled everyone to quiet down. “From this point on, be with your partners and make sure to go to the checkpoints as listed on the worksheet. I hope to see you all in the inn before sunset.”

“Soonyoung-sshi. Let’s go?” You asked, earning attention from the others.

“She’s partners with the gangster. Good thing we’re not in her shoes.” Few of your classmates whispered when you passed by them.

Soonyoung nodded and followed you. Little did you know, he’s sick of hearing the same thing all over; that he’s known for being dangerous and the negative aura he ‘supposedly’ brought.

———

Being partners with him isn’t as bad as you thought. He may look like a boy who slacks off a lot in studies, but he’s actually really intelligent. In a short time, he guided the both of you to checkpoints and even used your dad’s GPS that you yourself have no idea how to use it.

When it was time for a break before continuing the field study, you’d offer him your homemade rice cakes and he’d ask for seconds. You thought he was cute when he had cheeks of a hamster while munching on them.

Puns battles eventually came when there’s dead air between the two of you. Heck, he’s really good with puns. More often his corny puns made you crack up so hard.

“Oh! I didn’t know we’re near a farm full of fruits and veggies. This is so cool.” You looked at the acres of farmland in front of you.

“Y/N?” He called out to you. “You know.. It was really lime of you to catch up with the coach bus this morning. Also! Always remember to orange your clothing before you leave the house. Otherwise this habit of yours will make you suffer for a melonium years.” He said it so smooth you thought it was already planned out.

You were so shocked it made you stop in your tracks. Soonyoung realize this and faced you. “Did my puns appled you? You must be berry scared to beet me now.”

A smile on your lips turned to laughter because you couldn’t handle this corny pun master. Holding your stomach, you bent down to catch your breath.

“That was really cool, Soonyoung. You’re really good these things.” You ruffled his hair, making him blush a little.

“Why thank you.”

———

“Last checkpoint is a few metres away. We’re nearly done.” Soonyoung took turns looking at the map and GPS.

The golden yellow sun in the orange-purple-blue sky is closely meeting mountains. Dusk is coming moments later. You had no problems with walking and hiking but today was really tiring. Your legs were about to give in so you decided to lean on a fence on your left.

“Soonyoung , my shoelaces came undone. Please wait a second.” You called him and he later stopped. You tied your shoelaces quickly because you didn’t want Soonyoung to wait long. “Okay I’m done. Can you carry this- Aghh!”

Your foot slipped on the damped concrete pavement, making your body slip into the broken gap of the fence. Crap it’s a cliff! The good thing is, you managed to grab onto the fence leg.

“Soonyoung! Help!” You yelled, feeling the pain on your knee. Droplets of rain started to fall from the grey clouds.

“Y/N?? Hold on! I’ll get you! Don’t let go!” He pushed his backpack to the side and grabbed your wrists. Soonyoung panicked as he saw what was beneath you: open ocean.

“Hurry!” You tried to bring yourself up by climbing onto the big faults of the cliff. At the same time, Soonyoung managed to pull you up. Once he did, his hands grabbed your waist, and you both fell to the ground.

Huffs and puffs from exhaustion escaped Soonyoung ’s lips. “Y/N? Are you okay?” You were on his chest, clutching onto his jacket. Soonyoung sat up, hands still onto your waist. “Hey, Y/N?”

Soonyoung heard sniffs and coughs from you. He pulled you close to him, even though he feels cold from the heavy rain. “Answer me Y/N.”

Finally, you looked up to him. His eyes boring into yours. You never felt so warm. “I was so scared.. I thought it was the end of me.. I.. I..”

“Don’t say that. I got you now. You’re safe.” He held your chin and felt your warm tears touching the tips of his fingers.

It was dark, but you could still see him because of the last shine from the sunset. His eyes are cute.

Except the rain, there was silence. No words came out. His hand gently held your chin.

As if time slowed down, you see Soonyoung going near you. You could hear your own heartbeat, like it wants to burst out from what will happen seconds later. His head tilted to the side and you knew what he was going to do. Kind of.

What? You felt his lips onto yours. It’s a kiss? A gentle kind. When he pulled away from you, he covered his face, avoiding eye contact with you.

———

“Can you walk?” He stood up to support you.

“I guess I’m alright.” You stood up, however, you fell towards him. “I.. I think I twisted my ankle.”

Soonyoung bent one leg on his knees and gestured you for a piggy back. You giggled slightly. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. I’m kinda-”

“Just let me give you a hand!” His voice startled you, and you knew he wasn’t joking. When he carried you, he started walking. “Sorry, I was harsh a minute ago.”

You remained silent. Pretending you’ve fallen asleep, you put less pressure on your arms wrapped around his neck. When he realized you’ve “fallen asleep”, he decided to keep himself awake by talking.

“As I was saying earlier, I’m sorry you had to experience 'that’ with Doyoon. He must’ve scared you, leading you to your break up.”

How did he know I was with Doyoon?

Confused, you continued to listen. He mentioned that Doyoon is his gang’s leader. He ordered them to beat up boys who are weak and fragile. Even the ones who were known for the strongest, they had to beat them up. He wanted everyone to fear his gang.

Your relationship with Doyoon was perfect but later complicated. He blinded you by being Mr. Right, without knowing his true face. Figured he was in a gang, you decided to break the relationship. He placed his anger on you as he cornered you and was close to hurting you with a beer bottle. He realized and then cried. It definitely hurt, you loved him but you didn’t want to take the risks anymore.

3 months have passed. Doyoon wasn’t the gang’s leader. Police caught him over illegal acts and now he’s in juvenile.

S.Coups took over and tried to clean the group’s reputation. But to no avail it did not work. People still think of them as the gang led by Doyoon.

There were still boys in his group who rebelled more than usual: Mingyu, Dokyeom, Jeonghan, Jun and The8. The rest changed their lifestyle. Soonyoung was still rebellion and in the process of life changing. He’s stuck in between.

“I’m having a dilemma. On whether which side to choose. To us, rebellion means freedom, to do whatever we wanted. Nobody controlling us what to do. Yet, it also means a decision to change.” Soonyoung took a deep breath.

“I’ll choose the decision to change, if I were you.” You mumbled.

“Oh you’re awake? Feeling better?” He jumped a little to carry you properly.

“Yeah. I’m okay. Thanks.”

———

“Soonyoung, Jun, Minghao, Dokyeom, Jeonghan and Mingyu. You’re in charge of dinner tonight. Go to the kitchen in 5.” Mrs Jung ordered them.

It has been 2 days since being partners with Soonyoung and you hoped it will happen again in future projects. You and Jaein were in charge of setting up the tables and utensils.

In the kitchen, there’s Mingyu and Dokyeom cooking jjajang rice and kimchi stew. “Hey, wanna pull a prank on the girls?” Dokyeom giggled as he pulled out a small sachet of ghost pepper flakes from his pocket. He pointed out that he will put in one of the kimchi bowls.

“Man, that’s brilliant! For sure the girls will cry so much!” Mingyu laughed.

Dinner came and Soonyoung placed all of the side dishes onto the tables. You plopped on the chair, tired. “Gosh, 5 sets of tables with 6 people. That’s a lot of utensils.” Jaein complained.

“Hey, we got everything done. At least we’re not in charge of the dishes tonight.” You giggled as you took your chopsticks and spoon.

Everyone started eating and noises filled the room. The noisiest table was, of course, Soonyoung’s group. They were laughing to the point where they’re nearly shouting.

“And I thought this trip would be peaceful.” Jaein complained again. She wore her hoodie in shield for her ears, which you knew had no effect. “Aishhh!”

“Calm down. There aren’t trips that are peaceful. Everyone tends to be excited.” You told her, taking sips from the kimchi stew.

“Hey Jun. Which table did you put the ‘bowls’?” Minghao asked.

“I think it was table 4? Or 5?” Jeonghan said, looking at your table.

Mingyu looked at where Jeonghan was looking. “Oh man, that’s Y/N’s table! Hahaha! You knew how naïve she is!” Mingyu laughed. “Where in their table?”

“Ah the bowl with green patterns? I put it at the seat where the flower vase is.” Soonyoung replied, eating the rice.

“Wew that’s where the grinded ghost peppers are? Sweeeeet!” Jun giggled.

Soonyoung’s eyes grew wider as he heard this. He was unaware of their actions. You were sitting by the flower vase. The boys were staring at you at this point.

“Ew. Why are they staring? Bunch of perverts.” Jaein told you.

“I don’t know. They probably thought you’re pretty.” You said sarcastically.

“They wouldn’t laugh if they find a girl pretty though.” Chaeyeon turned to you and Jaein.

“True enough. Well, they’re boys. We don’t know what’s going on in their heads.” You said, taking another sip from your bowl. “They’re probably just hyped up after all that-”

ZING!

“Umpf!” You squealed while holding your mouth, fanning yourself later with your hands. Flabbergasted, you ached in pain as the hot liquid stung your mouth and lips. “Omg!”

ZING ZING ZING!

“What happened Y/N?!” Chaeyeon asked worrily. “Too spicy?”

“A-aren’t yours sp-spicy?” You asked. “Give me milk. Kimchi stew aren’t meant to be this spicy!”

Chaeyeon checked your bowl and found bits of ghost peppers.

“Oh shucks Minghao put the whole sachet in there?? That’s legit man!” Mingyu and Dokyeom hi-5ed each other. “There’s like 5 grind ghost peppers in there!”

Soonyoung froze as he saw you suffer, the only one. Everyone stared at you, some in shock and some laughed. You looked over to Soonyoung’s table and his friends were dead laughing hard.

“Y/N, I can explain!” Soonyoung stood.

“Soonyoung ? Y-you did this?” Your heart ached when he spoke. No.. I know Soonyoung wouldn’t do this.

“Y/N! In case you didn’t know, Soonyoung placed that bowl, specifically on where you’re sitting now.” Jeonghan told you, chuckling. Soonyoung then glared at Jeonghan.

You didn’t want to believe it. “Y/N, I can explain!” Soonyoung said, about to go to where you are.

He wouldn’t do this to me. Not when we’ve gotten close. Maybe at least I thought we were. On the verge of tears, you covered your eyes. Tears and sniffs slightly be heard.

“Y/N, let’s get you cleaned up.” Chaeyeon and Jaein offered to help you. You didn’t want to, and told them you just want to be alone.

Soonyoung stopped walking and stood there. He didn’t want to see you cry again. Again. First was when he saw you outside their gang’s apartment, the breakup. Second was when you held onto him in fear of falling off the cliff. Now it’s the third. It pained him to see you suffer.

“Aww, she’s crying! Hahaha! Mission accomplished!” The boys in his table laughed harder. “Soonyoung, come and sit down and-”

Soonyoung fumed in anger, banged the table, causing some chopsticks to fall off. “What did you do to her?! She’s hurt!”

“Good thing it’s only one girl who suffered. Cause’ if it’s the whole table and they all screamed, that’ll be so annoying.” Jeonghan grinned.

“Why are you getting upset of all this? Pranking girls was always our forte, Soonyoung.” Minghao added.

“Yours. Not mine! This is too much! Five ghost peppers to one girl! Are you all insane?!” Soonyoung was breathing heavily now.

“If you’re concerned, wait, or should I say ‘love’ her, why don’t you go and give her a kiss to prove to all of us your feelings for her?” Jun teased, doing the kissy expression. By this, everyone started the ‘kiss her’ chants from all over the dining room.

This made Soonyoung more angry and he hit the table once more. “Shut up!” Silence immediately filled the air. “We’ve already kissed so there’s no point in chanting!” He stormed out of the room, making his group astounded.

Soonyoung looked for you everywhere. In the park, the pavilion by the lake, the lounge. No sign of you. It had been 2 hours. He sat down at a bench near the dorms. Few moments later, he spotted you, walking with drinking a huge jug of milk.

“Y/N! Wait!” He called out to you. You heard and ignored him. “Y/N! Please let me explain!”

You turned around to face him. “What is there to explain, Soonyoung? Tell me.” You mumbled but it was stern enough for Soonyoung to stop in his tracks. “I thought you’ve changed. Turns out it’s something that could never happen.”

“I’m sorry that my friends treated you that way. I’m really sorry. Keep in mind that I’ll never do that to you.”

“Oh really now? You really think I could easily forgive your ‘sorry’ like a lollipop a kid could easily take? Well, Soonyoung, I’m not that kid.” You brushed him off, walking away.

Silence was only for a while. “You believed them more than you believe me?” He grabbed your wrists, causing you to stop.

“What I have done back there, did it proved you that I’m a bad person? Hanging out with them, did it made you hate me? Do you hate me now Y/N? All because of something you couldn’t even let me explain?!”

His voice gradually gets louder each time he asks a question. It made you realize that you never let him speak.

“Soonyoung .. I.. No.. I don’t hate you. I like you. I like you a lot, but it’s what you do that made me..not like you.” You looked down to the ground.

“Well, you’re wrong. I didn’t do that. I didn’t help them plot a prank on you. It was all them.” He held your hand. “I shouldn’t even be apologising on their behalf when I have nothing to do with it.”

“Apologising on their behalf means you’re a man. You’re aware of things. A coward does nothing. He wouldn’t to the extent of apologising.” You hugged him. “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you.”

“I reacted to the scene immediately because I didn’t want to see you hurt again. I don’t want to see you to cry. It pains me.” He hugged you back.

“Then… Be my protector and shield.. No one will hurt me. Not even them.” You hid your blushing cheeks to his chest.

Soonyoung found you really cute and tried to hide his smile. You never knew how much it made him happy. “A-are you low-key confessing to me?”

Embarrassed, you stepped on his foot. “What do you think idiot?” Still holding onto him.

He laughed. The crispness of his laugh echoed your ears. “Alright Y/N. I like you too.”

———

“What?? The ‘fish’ you were talking about is Kwon Soonyoung?? What??” Jaein was so shocked where she nearly fainted from the news. “Him??”

“Jaein. He may look bad, but he’s really kind. And he has such cute eyes.” You remembered the day when you clashed to his chest in the queue and also during the time when you both looked into each other. It makes your heart giddy.

“You’re weird Y/N. Your taste for boys creeps me out. Every boy you date is from a gang.” She took a sip from her coffee.

“Hey! I got a good pick this time. Besides, he changed for the better.” You looked at the selfie you took with him yesterday.

“Ugh. You even kissed him before you guys were official!” She covered her eyes from you.

“Jaein, you’re such a neigh-sayer. It was him who kissed me first. And it comes eventually y'know?” You grinned at her. “It’s like a fairytale. The kiss wasn’t lime y’know?.”

“Ugh. He influenced you with puns as well!” She phoned Wonwoo and asked him to pick her up.

“Hey it’s not that bad, isn’t it? Donut leaf me here alone.” You pulled her sleeve.

“Soonyoung will be coming soon, Y/N. I have to meet Wonwoo at the mall.” She took off your hand from her coat. “See you tomorrow!”

“Alright. See you. Have fun on your date with Wonton- I mean Wonwoo!” You called out to her.

“Enough with the puns Y/N!” Jaein yelled from the other side of the window.

Soonyoung came shortly after with a bag of chocolates, coffee and headphones. “I hope you didn’t wait long.” He smiled.

“Nah, you’re just in time.” You helped him put the things down as he sat. You looked at him, later blushing on what came to your sight. “You look cool with blue hair.”

“Ah, well. Thanks babe. I thought I’d change for you.” He pinched your cheeks and you both put on the headphones, enjoying the music and choreography your boyfriend made,