#he has one of the most interesting stories from start to finish (esp in hopes)

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

No but something I love is how fucking loyal Miklan really is (in Hopes specifically since we don't have enough information in Houses).

At the camp, he takes his job seriously. Very seriously. He doesn't act begrudging or like he's just doing anything by force. As the chapters go on he not only goes from relatively aloof to a full fledged commander (which is great development in that span of chapters btw considering how fast the story has to progress) and one who fights for Faerghus because he wants to (why would he reassure the player that he's going to, literally, hold down the fort? Why doesn't he flee when his life is in immediate danger despite that Dimtiri prefers his allies to flee and save their lives over sacrificing themselves? Why does he like helping citizens who had their lands destroyed by the war, despite being a bandit who used to plunge towns just like those?).

At any time when the Empire was attacking, he could've surrendered and even joined their side because of not liking Faerghus and its people... if he didn't like Faerghus and its people. Also, someone brought this up to me once that Miklan likely has family in the Empire still, because his mother was from the Empire. He had a perfectly good out that wouldn't even necessarily be considered treason to Faerghus, i.e. surrendering and going to the Empire to protect that side of his family.

He doesn't. He dies for Faerghus. It was both a matter of honor due to the fact that he was finally living the life he always should've been and wanted to be respected for that, and also his loyalty that followed in the past's wrongs being righted. No matter what you think of Miklan post disinheritance, he was the heir who was removed because he didn't have a Crest. All over just that, despite that Sylvain having a Crest never meant they didn't still have someone capable of fighting off Sreng invasions.

They had someone able to wield the Lance of Ruin, so why did it matter if he was officially the heir? Miklan felt like his life was stolen from him (and I'm not saying what he did to Sylvain was okay either). Dimitri gave him all of that back and he started to become loyal to Faerghus and its king because Dimitri was giving the chance even the man's own father never gave him from the moment Sylvain was determined to have a Crest.

What happened in his life before Dimitri had him brought to him as soon as he became king is, in a way, almost like it never happened as far as Miklan's behavior. It was obviously there at first, but over time it's like it never happened. That is, if someone met him and didn't know about his past, by chapter 9 they'd never even know he'd had that history. He was the person he would've been years ago if he hadn't been disinherited, which led to the mess that led to him being disowned (and he says he just "left", but Matthias doesn't mince facts. At all. If that had been the case he wouldn't just say he disowned him. He would admit Miklan ran away. That means Miklan claims he left as a means of coping and trying to convince other people that it was his choice and not forced on him).

Miklan became a lot more loyal than he's ever given credit for, both in the game and in the fandom. Gwendal did recognize it, but that's about all we're given.

Gwendal corrected himself when Miklan died, referring to him instead as Sir Miklan instead of the insults he was spewing during their fight which were very clearly pissing Miklan off; but Miklan kept fighting and defending the fort, not just because he wanted to prove Gwendal wrong but because he was here because he was pulled out of his life as a bandit. The people he was defending the fort for were the people who effectively gave him his life back.

Basically, he would've been there in that fort defending it anyway if he had lived the life he should have to begin with. If his value was acknowledged all along, he would've been defending the most important fort in Faerghus all along (if this exact scenario occurred and everything was the same except him being disowned in the first place). He would be there being the commander and fighter he was supposed to be.

Mind you, it was the king himself who gave him that chance, meaning the person who reigns over Faerghus and has the most power to change whatever the hell he wants - including how people with Crests and without are treated. Miklan was part of a fight to better their society and be part of the new generation taking over. Nobody could truly change things unless the king - the top power - had the thought to change them (not saying Lambert thought the political climate was good the way it was, but he clearly had other priorities and it didn't seem to be something weighing on his mind. He may not have even truly noticed the problems and power discrepancies because he was so focused on other things).

However, the moment the king thought to change all that old stuff, Miklan was one of the first people who came to mind, and one of the first people he took action regarding, to integrate into his new army (and he even mentioned completely rearranging his army and whatnot, and then we find out he had Miklan located basically right after becoming king. We had a two year timeskip and Miklan had been there for those two years because of how soon after Dimitri was crowned that he had decided to bring Miklan back and give him another chance).

If the king sought to change things and was taking active action to prove it, that was something Miklan could see and realize was actually going to happen. It wasn't a blind trust - he could see Dimitri was actually doing it. He had a reason to be able to trust him with this.

He was also able to trust the people who were watching over him, i.e. the people Dimitri had making sure he didn't revert back to any sort of banditry. Those people could have easily faked it, made up that he did something and that they had killed him on the spot. Dimitri trusted those people not to do that of course, but those people were not told to bring him to Dimitri if he did anything. They were told to apprehend him and kill him immediately (which is reasonable, given what he'd done in the past, and they wouldn't want to try to wait to get Dimitri over to wherever they were. If Miklan escaped in that time, they'd just have a big problem on their hands).

So that is to say, those people could've just faked it at any point and killed him. They didn't. They, like Dimitri, were willing to give him another chance provided he didn't do anything bad.

The same goes for Felix and everyone else who had qualms about him being allowed into their army. Dimitri explicitly stated if anyone had issues with his appointment as a commander to "by all means" kill him themselves. He literally made it an open option for his friends to just up and kill him if they truly couldn't forgive him (which at that point was more reasonable of a time because the war was still new and people didn't know if they could trust him with this specific appointment yet. By later in the story I don't think it would have been as reasonable for someone to try to kill him after he'd already been proving himself).

In other words, nobody did it. Everyone, literally everyone, backed off and respected Dimitri's decision (and technically Sylvain and Matthias' as well). None of those people, even when given open opportunity, turned a weapon on him. Not one. These people all gave him a chance. These are the same people he died fighting for, and for himself to be able to feel like he was fighting and dying for what he would have to begin with if he hadn't been disinherited - Faerghus and its people.

In the end Miklan was in both rank and heart a top ranking commander of Faerghus and he both appreciated it and knew he appreciated it. He was looking forward to the future Dimitri would bring, basically saying that he thinks Dimitri is a fool ("weak-willed") for it but that he now believes in it too. If anyone wants to try arguing those points, I have receipts as the young folk call them, fresh from Miklan himself about his feelings about it as spoken to Catherine and Shamir!

Miklan fought for the future he was hoping to see, and he died protecting that future. Again, not something he by any means whatsoever had to do. He was tasked with guarding the fortress, but was never told to lay down his life defending it. After years and years of being hateful and angry, he finally had some peace of mind and hope for what he could be. He was loyal to Dimitri in the end because Dimitri was loyal to him - that is, he kept his word and Miklan was able to thrive in Dimitri's society without being a bandit or having to worry about his future because of his status.

Like Dimitri said, the only thing holding him down by that point were his past mistakes. It was up to Miklan to do something about that for himself with the opportunity he was given to fix it. Dimitri said here, fix it, and Miklan said okay, and worked to fix it. For me the saddest part is that he didn't even get enough time to properly fix it and be able to be free of his past. He died for Faerghus though, with his dying words being that he was able to buy them time (to arrive and fight back against the attacking Empire). That's not something someone who holds a resentful grudge would say in their last moments. He was grateful he managed to buy the other fighters time, even though it cost him his life.

hopes was a dumpster fire a whole lot of times but its incorporation of miklan into the plot was not one of them. miklan fire emblem my love you will live on in my heart and in my fics. i am also deeply grateful to hopes for uh i guess hopes-canonizing (hopesonizing???) basically every one of my headcanons about him before the game came out.

[hourafterhour]

hmmm actually i'd be so interested in hearing about why you hated tsc? i personally didn't hate it but thought it was very flawed and would love to hear your critiques <3

very long below!

starting more generally, i thought the structure of it was bizarre, especially the choice to start it where she did. rehashing the end of TKM in very minute detail from a new pov did nothing for me, and i don't think it's where this part of jean's story "starts" if that makes sense. i found a lot of parts really ham-fisted and poorly written, esp very sloppy/lazy/straight up bad characterization (jeremy giving the homeless man a gift card, lmao); and her reliance on very high drama plot points (surprise secret sister - that was when i could not believe what i was forcing myself to keep reading; also reacher showing up, other parts i've forgotten). i think this approach works so well in aftg, where the melodrama is crucial, but it fails here, and i got the impression that she didn't feel like she was telling (what should have been) a fundamentally different type of story in content and structure than aftg. using any of the very compelling interpersonal dynamics wrt jean in her original trilogy to build drama in a subtler way would have been so much more rewarding imo. "can jean make a life outside the nest” is the built in stakes of the story. can he survive what has happened and what comes next. no need to make it any more dramatic than that - those are pretty high dramatic stakes to me. to give a more specific example, i thought the scene abt jean having to relearn how to check because the way the ravens do it is dangerous was excellent, especially when jeremy explicitly tells him “you’re hurting me” and it’s still unclear if that will be enough to make jean resort to a style of gameplay that’s less effective. this is more along the lines of what i’d hope we’d get from this book — subtle moments that arise from this being a sports narrative and a recovery narrative, and the unique situation of jean being forced into intimacy with a new team (again, a situation that is already so dramatically rich!) 

but my main issue is that I think aftg is a pretty exceptional (and exceptionally unique) trauma narrative, and i think jean’s trauma was poorly written here from start to finish, and pretty unimaginative/cliche. my overwhelming thought while reading it is that it was a really poorly researched book. writing the perspective of a character IMMEDIATELY after release from years of captivity is an extraordinarily difficult task, and the way she tried to account for what his patterns of thinking would have adapted to under those conditions was paltry to me: “I am Jean Moreau. My place is at Evermore. I will endure.” — i was literally rolling my eyes. just a really depressing lack of depth of interiority wrt an experience that was already so rich and subtle in canon. the single line in tkm when abby says he's already tried to escape back to the nest twice was more complex and worth more to me than all of tsc

to give another specific example bc this is one part i remember well, i was so annoyed at the scene when jean offers his racquet to rhemann for punishment. like it's so lazy!!! it's so lazy. jean is not stupid, and i could have believed it if it was written as jean being confused/getting where he was and who he was with mixed up, but a crucial part of the ideology of the nest was that this was not like other teams, and their lifestyle is not ordinary, and this is necessary to make them better than everyone else. jean would be well aware that other people on most other teams do not get physically abused by their coaches, in front of the rest of their teammates, as a matter of course. like maybe that seems nitpicky, but this actually seems so essential to me. and there were so many other moments where it just didn't seem like any meaningful or interesting thought had been paid to how jean would have interpreted his own life, and i hated how she had to make him do things like this to make certain things about his past visible because she couldn't do it in more skillful ways

i was kind of withholding judgement through the first little bit, but the first scene with kevin really solidified that i would not enjoy this book. jean is, what, a few days removed from the nest? i just do not believe (or want to be asked to believe) that he and kevin would be able to articulate any of that by that point, or have the words to discuss these things openly like that already. this was baffling to me because, once again, this is handled really well and compellingly in the original trilogy!!! hence my 40k two months of madness!!!! jean and kevin literally cannot even speak to each other when they see each other at the banquet, to the point where andrew intervenes just to get them to stop watching each other. iirc there was a part in the EC where nora said they don’t have a real conversation till a year (or multiple years?) out of the nest which felt extremely true to me. laila, cat, and jeremy constantly pressing him to express what happened, as if being able to narrativize a traumatic experience is not actively one of the hardest things about recovery, again just felt like lazy writing. everything has to be spoken out loud for it to work here, because she didn’t build conflict in any other way. i actively disliked laila and cat by the end of the book because she had to use them in such annoying and blunt ways to drive the story forward.  

OKAY there is my quota of "joyless hater" for the day... i appreciate you wanting to hear my thoughts!! if you have any thoughts on any of this i'd love to hear them as well. and if you're interested, i'll take the opportunity to rec an academic text on some of these dynamics, Alexandra Stein’s book “Terror, Love, and Brainwashing: Attachment in Cults and Totalitarian Systems"

[i-did]

hey! I hope those aftg asks aren’t getting tiring lol but I was wondering if you had any thoughts on the recent fandom treatment of Kevin, which seems to be mainly seeing him as a victim mistreated both in canon by the other foxes & by nora himself? Like I remember in the earlier days of aftg (like maybe around 2016? 2017??) there definitely wasn’t this kind of focus or view of Kevin & I feel like he was treated with somewhat more nuance then? And this could be related to the growing hate for Nora since then but you don’t see people say the same things about the other foxes?? This is a very messy ask lol but I’m genuinely so confused about this trend esp because Kevin seems to be the only fox (as far ive seen anyways) that people are holding up as a victim w/o any nuance

I have a lot of fun answering these, I just sometimes take a minute to get to them lol

Okay so I definitely know what you're talking about with the Kevin thing. The first major factor is that AFTG has finished coming you years ago, and Nora has not actively engaged with the fandom since 2016. I came around into AFTG in 2017 as a reader, and looking at the fanart. Mostly by then you see the race headcanons locked into place and the beginning of the split between fanon and canon. Without more canon, fanon content starts to develop as whoever is more influential the fan creators (fic authors, fan artists) start to do things that trend. As a time passes in a fandom, it tends to split into niches, people who see things a certain way and want to see more of that follow each other and gain followers who agree with them. 

There is definitely a Kevin centric niche that thinks those things. I don’t think there was as much focus in general on Kevin back in 2017, but I also was pretty new. But there were no extreme Anti-Andrew fans, back then it was “you are either a fan of Nicky or a fan of Aaron.” People didnt have “dni choking apologists” on their blogs. 

I think choking discourse is a good example of the rise of Kevin. Andrew must fall for Kevin to rise. There are kandreil fans that genuinely like all three, and some ace/aro Kevin fans that like him just as he is, but a lot of Kevin centric content I see now on tumblr is about how Andrew is the real villain of AFTG for choking Kevin, despite Kevin violently choking Neil in book 1. 

Back in 2018 they weren't pitted against the other and I think the whole “you can only like one character or the other” thing is stupid imo. I like Nicky more than Aaron, but I still think they're both interesting characters. Ive seen a lot of “Kevin was only a victim” takes, and in fact got cyber bullied for a while by some people who thought I was too mean to Kevin in some of my HC by implying he also had some power in the nest and likely hurt others, and that he feels guilt over it. :/ but there is also a similar niche with “you can't blame Aaron for his homophobia, his mom was abusive, and she likely made him that way.”

It's the most similar discourse trend I've seen to the Kevin discourse. It’s a similar lack of nuance, and I think people inflict it their favorite character because they don't want to have a ‘problematic fav.’ Aaron is canonly homophobic, Neil says directly after him and Andrew ‘come out’ to the others, that he was waiting to see the same grief Aaron gave Nicky over his sexuality. It doesn't mean he can't be also a good character or a person someone likes, in fact well written characters have dimensions and flaws. 

Which that whole mess is similar to the whole Kevin thing. I think people fall in love with the idea of Nora’s characters, or maybe the fanon characters–but not the real characters. Which is also why they say the author hates them, because they got written to do bad things or not be in the story as much, they defend these characters as if they were real people who need defending, need to be saved from being erased. These characters become “their character.”

I think this also happens because people kin characters and identify with them a lot, so when I said “Kevin was in a position in power in the nest too, even in second place” and then receive threats for how I personally hurt someone who's a CSA survivor because of my Kevin HC I'm like (o – o). I think these people project so hard onto Kevin and design him in their mind, they feel as if character flaw HCs or depictions of Kevin struggling and being mean are personal insults, or at least very personally insulting. And I don't want to sound like an ass, but like my Kevin isn't the same as their Kevin, my Kevin is my Kevin. 

I see skinny art of Andrew and art of Neil as white or ginger, these don’t align with my personal HC’s about them, but like that's what I chose to go with. Nora uses language that makes me believe Neil has dark auburn hair, but if people want him to be ginger idc. In canon he was written with the intent to be white, I ignore that because I think him being mixed adds more depth to his character (as well as me being tired of only white mlm, and have updated my reading list). Andrew wasn’t imagined by Nora to be fat either, but I HC him as like a mini muscle bear instead of Toby Hemingway. 

I keep the canon intent in mind to remind myself how she actually saw them and how that can color canon and how other people are allowed to see Neil as white and Andrew as skinny. Like I understand why people get annoyed over other peoples hc’s, I feel similarly sometimes. But like at the end of the day, you just gotta move out of that fandom niche and into a new one or just ignore the post.

[whumpmyworld]

Welcome to the world of kdrama whump part 4!

Oh wow how am I at part 4 already? But I keep finding new kdramas and I keep finding new whump in them so here I am! Let’s just get right to it shall we? If you want to see the other 3 parts you can find them here: part 1, part 2, part 3

Period Drama:

1. Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung ( 신입사관 구해령)

Available on Netflix

So first up on this list is a really cute period drama that is packed with so much of funny scenes and also really serious stuff. It’s set in the 19th century and it’s about a female historian Goo Hae Ryung and how she becomes a historian and we also learn about prince Lee Rim and he’s a writer in secret! and it’s got quite a bit of mystery too which I quite liked. and Cha Eun Woo is really great in this along with Shin Se Kyung. 

Here’s a list of the whump that @whumpetywhump​ did. You should check it out!

2. The King Eternal Monarch ( 더 킹: 영원의 군주)

Available on Netflix

Ah, this one. I almost didn’t add it to the list because i wasn’t happy with the way it was written. but whump and cinematogaphy wise, this show is so good! (plus wdh + whump never disappoins). So it’s set in a parallel world to ours in the ‘Kingdom of Corea and it revolves around a plot to murder the royal family but the prince survives and goes on to be the king in current day Corea. but some how, with the use of Manpasikjeok which is like a supernatural flute, they can travel between worlds, (between the Kingdom of Corea and The Republic of South Korea). So the story focuses on the king and a mysterious person who saves him on the night the king dies. Pretty interesting concept, could have been executed better but oh well. It was pretty funny and intertaining for the most part.

Action:

1. Two Cops ( 투깝스)

Available on Netflix, Viu and Viki

Oh this show is so good too! It’s about a detective who is trying to solve a case and then catches the guy he was after but then somehow the guys spirit ends up possessing (but in a funny way, it’s not scary) the detectives body and so they need to work together to solve the case which starts to get complicated. There’s whump for both the characters and it’s pretty goood!

Here’s a list of all the whump!

2. My Secret Terius ( 내 뒤에 테리우스)

Available on Netflix, Viue and Viki

My Secret Terius is so fun! and so cute but also really dramatic. It starts off with the lead loosing her husband and a mysterious man who lives next door to her. He’s basically a NIS agent and he’s got a lot of back story which you will find out throughout the show. And then Go Ae-Rin (the lead lady) discovers that there was some conspiracy to her husbands death and they work together to solve the mystery all while fighting other bad guys too..

Also, the kids in this show are super cute. Here they are trying to help Kim Bon heal after he was rescued.

3. Flower of Evil ( 악의 꽃)

Available on Viu and Netflix

One of my top 3 kdramas from 2020 i think! So this one is about Baek Hee Song and he’s married to a detective and they have a cute little daughter! and Baek Hee Song is like the perfect guy but in reality he had a lot of secrets and he’s been living under someone else’s name and his wife doesn’t even know. So his past slowly comes to light all while his wife is figuring out a case that may or may not involve him. It was pretty intense but also really intersting and Lee Joon Gi whump never disappoints, just look at this gif XD 

Angst and Melodrama Family:

1. 18 Again ( 18 어게인)

Available on Netflix and Viu

So, if you’re in the mood for some heartfelt kdrama with lots of tears and lots of heartwarming moments, this is definitely the show for you. I don’t think I made it through any of the episodes without crying. So this is actually based of the American movie 17 again! It follows the same premise of our main guy (Hong Dae Young) getting turned into an 18 year old kid and him and his wife are on the verge of a divorce. But there’s so much more with how they struggle as young parents, to their relationships with everyone and their jobs. Everything about this was so good! (If you watch/watched this come yell about it with me. I can’t stop talking about it)

2.  It’s Okay to Not Be Okay ( 사이코지만 괜찮아)

Available on Netflix

I think this was one of the top kdramas for 2020 and rightly so because it’s so good! aside from some flaws it had a really great storyline and talks alot about mental health/traumas. So this is about a guy who is a psychiatric nurse and he has a brother who he takes care of. The story also focuses on a children’s book writer who has antisocial personality disorder and how they make it through life esp with all the trauma they’ve faced. It’s such a pretty show with a pretty decent storyline and of course some nice whump throughout. You should definitely check it out.

Supernatural:

1. Bring It On Ghost ( 싸우자 귀신아)

Available on Netfix, Viu and Viki

I didn’t think i was going to like this because it seemed kinda of scary and I don’t do well with horror. But this show was so good! It was a little scary but it was also really funny at the same time. It’s the story about a girl who dies and becomes a ghost so she’s wandering around. Then she meets an exorcist and becaomes friends with Bong Pal. They, together with the help of two uni friends go around fighting ghost and sending them away. It’s kinda like a kickass ghost fighting club with a little bit of mystery added it. So of course you can imagine that there will be whump :D 

Here’s a list of all the whump! Thanks again whumpetywhump :)

2. The Uncanny Counter ( 경이로운 소문)

Available on Netflix

I think this has been recommended a few times here but I had to include it officially in this list. So this is about a group of people called Counters who hunt down evil spirits and they all have some kind of abilities. Then this high school kid, So Mun, ends up becoming one of them through certain events that take place and he’s some how involved in one of the cases that the counters are involved in. This show has everything I love! Found family, best friend trios, action as well as humour. It just finished airing too! Good stuff.

Here’s a list of all the whump! Thanks @love-me-a-lotta-whump​

And there we have it! Part 4. I hope you guys will enjoy these kdramas as much as I have and if you have any other shows that you would like to see in a future list let me know! or if you want to talk about any of these shows, I’ll be here :D 

[ateezgf]

Hi I’m a new atiny and I’m excited about my first comeback with them but I had a question? Maybe it’s dumb but is there like a storyline to their MVs? I still haven’t watched all of them but I was wondering what the hourglass meant that’s all over this comeback. Anyway thank you very much, I’m sorry if this is weird

hi !! first off, welcome :D how are you liking ateez so far? any favorite boys yet? i hope all the pre-comeback activities are hyping you up!! ALSO, that isn't a dumb question i promise !! yes, they do have a storyline! it comes with a lot of theories since they won’t explicitly tell us & it also spans across A LOT of their content. like mvs, albums, lyrics, vcrs, shows, etc. i’ll put my own thoughts under the read more because it’s a lot. i also can’t explain the hourglass without telling you about their story too. 

to me, the ateez storyline has pretty general themes in regards to good vs evil.. rebellion vs control.. multiverses/timelines/time travel. i’ll be going through this per era (treasure & fever) !! i’ll try to focus primarily on their mvs, but i’ll mention some things from their albums and some vcrs for their comebacks.

TREASURE ERA (EP.1-5): 

pirate king/treasure mv doesn’t have too much story to it. these two mvs are mainly just introductions to them and their story. esp with the very iconic lines “will you be my friend?” and in the intro track on the album right before pirate king, “will you join us?” they sing a lot about their ambitions and the future. it’s safe to believe that this is the good ateez. 

say my name is our first glance at the bad ateez (or who everyone calls halateez). in this mv, we can see that ateez are in distress. in a lot of their solo shots, they’re typically in not likable settings. yeosang is trapped in a glass box with a member of halateez staring him down. hongjoong is sat in a blue hallway with a lot of smoke. yunho is at a desk surrounded by papers & this is also where we first see the hourglass (or cromer). however, it’s just a prop for now. san is in a room surrounded by broken glass.. BUT only after he is seen staring at one of the members of halateez through it. in the big table scene, you can see them all working to find the answer to something.. which is very interesting to note that wooyoung is the only one to be seen in that room alone after an alarm seemingly makes all the other evacuate. WE ALSO get the first face-off between halateez and ateez. but they’re not directly face to face. they’re only seeing them through glass panels & we can see that ateez is very clearly defiant when it comes to them. we also see that when seonghwa is facing the halateez member alone, that it’s him. which could also showcase the time traveling aspect. as if halateez is jumping through the timelines to get to them. another interesting thing to note that in the last verse of the song, it switches off between ateez and halateez. this mv ends with the treasure instrumental & yeosang missing from the glass casing. 

in hala hala, it is primarily halateez. the members in this mv are seen in darker attire & makeup and more clean cut. i believe halateez is from a universe where they are the ones in charge & calling the shots. if not that, then a very organized and powerful rebellion group. hence the same outfits almost like a uniform. this mv isn’t much but halateez dancing.. HOWEVER, the ending is VERY interesting. all members snap their necks at the same time (hence the lyric ‘suicide squad’).. all members BUT wooyoung. he ultimately pretends to do it, but is the last one standing and wiping blood from his mouth while surrounded by all of the bodies.. and remember, wooyoung was the only one alone in the room all of ateez were in while they were working on documents. 

jumping to wave & illusion.. we can see that this is a pretty sudden change. however, it all still matches with their storyline very well. 

in illusion, the members are seen in bright and colorful clothing on a flying boat asleep. in this, they’re back to that adventuring pirate crew from the beginning. however, the lyrics show that they have... no idea who they are and where they are. it’s believed too that the lyrics are talking to someone. in the middle of all of their singing about how they found paradise and how they can just party it up now, there’s a repeated “let me free” which kind of seems.. out of place. if we’re having fun, why do we need to be let free? as the title entails, this is all an illusion. the hourglass is seen again along with a glass cube and a butterfly on a table. we also see a quick glance of a halateez mask on the globe. we can see mingi listening to a headset/tape player. they make it to an island that is very.. fake. a large compass.. a floating hourglass and just very desaturated colors. even the members lose saturation when they reach the ground. they eventually find.. a cave? it has a lot of drapes and tinfoil looking walls. for a split second, we see a member of halateez standing there. ateez then reaches a very smokey room with lights and flowers. they don’t look so happy anymore. it’s like the illusion is very much wearing off. also remember, they initially were looking for their paradise so for the illusion of one to be broken... hmm. this mv ends with the members running away towards a light & shots of them sleeping in wave play where it ends with a whispered “open your eyes”. 

in wave, the members are together once again on an island. just them this time. it’s very fun. but.. it’s almost like they were dropped there. i mean, sure it makes sense that san/yeosang/jongho wake up in a bed... but why is mingi waking up under a tree in the middle of nowhere? looking at the headset/tape player confused like it isnt his? why is seonghwa waking up in a pool and why is hongjoong waking up on the road? for the most part, they all wake up alone but they eventually find each other again. once they’re all together, we can see that ateez are suddenly the same carefree souls they were before. constantly talking about how there should be no worries. 

in wonderland, it’s kind of.. hard to distinguish if this is halateez or ateez. we can see a lot of power dynamics here. hongjoong raps about how he shouldn’t be doubted if they wanted to reach neverland/their utopia. i say this because he mentions being a child forever like peter; but also because of the illusion mv. it’s also pretty obvious that mingi holds a type of power here. he’s seen as the center of attention with the marching band like he’s the leader of a grand army. aside from that, i think there’s a bit of a rescue mission occurring? in all honesty, i do not know where san & jongho are within the storyline for this mv. however, we can see that yeosang & seonghwa are in the same tunnel.. but not together. the elevator shot in the beginning is believed to show them going through time and same with the tunnel. which makes sense when you look at the updated ateez logo and the way it looks like it has a lot of lines that meet into the middle. aside from that, we have yunho staring at a bunch of tvs albeit they’re playing nothing we can see. then we have wooyoung.. all chained up and alone. it looks like nobody’s coming to save him the way hwa came to save yeosang and san. perhaps because he had betrayed them in hala hala? the staircase is also pretty important. i dont know the exact piece but i know it’s similar to an art piece that shows an endless staircase and continuous loop.. perhaps a hint at a continuous cycle in the storylines? seeing as this wonderland mv has gone up in flames, it looks like the next plan of action has to be to cross that bridge seen earlier. believed to have been the bridge between dystopia & utopia. 

in the utopia mv, there isn’t a lot of crazy storyline? it’s believed that once ateez walk across that bridge and through the door, they’re in utopia... or so they think. it’s mainly a lot of dancing and pretty shots, but the reoccurrence of smoke-filled rooms leading to rooms of oversaturation is back. the answer vcr before this comeback also show a lot of story. we see halateez and ateez facing off together once again with essentially.. the same question. we’ve spent this whole time believing that ateez are the good guys and halateez are the bad guys... but what if that wasn’t the case? sure, we see them as such but is that who they really are? each respective party holds up a mirror to the other asking “are you evil?” / “are you good?”. cut to the iconic intro of san on his knees.. almost like he’s the one having this war? almost like he’s trying to figure out the answer himself about if he is good or evil. 

the answer mv starts with a man in a white suit looking at the destruction of what was left behind of ateez/halateez. the move of san tipping over an overflowing wine glass.. it’s also thought like he’s turning the hourglass as well as if to start their timer once again. mingi is talking about how he sees that the end is near, but hongjoong brings up how we should finish as strong as we started until we get what we desired. it looks like wooyoung is walking in snow.. or is it the sand of time? i mean.. the hourglass was just tipped over wasn’t it? yeosang is seen alone in a red desert surrounded by broken glass. almost like he’s alone with no way out? speaking of mirrors, it’s also possible that ateez uses mirrors to travel through dimensions. like how san was staring at a member of halateez instead of himself in say my name? well.. yunho is surrounded by mirrors but cant seem to see anything but himself. he’s pretty frustrated about that. wooyoung is also seen in a room of butterflies. butterflies typical have a positive meaning of change, hope, transformation. we then get the icONIC AS HELL SHOT of halateez and ateez face to face at last at the table. as a repeated line entails, they’re making a toast to something. perhaps they have finally come to terms with each other and what to do so that they could exist peacefully as one? but maybe ateez has already done so much to one timeline that another had to be ruined? either way, an agreement was made between both hongjoong’s. at the end of the mv, we are greeted by the man in the white suit again... perhaps it’s another time traveler who knows about what ateez & halateez had done and was trying to stop them. no one knows who that is in all honesty. it’s believed that it might be one of the members. 

FEVER ERA (EP 6-8): 

PHEW OKAY UHHH.. honestly.. i say it’s crucial to watch this diary film at the very least. it explains this timeline of events now. halateez makes a brief appearance to hongjoong and the hourglass is back. poor hongjoong is tasked with finding everyone to bring them together once again. seemingly.. a fallout between friends.. another broken timeline. i feel as though it’s pretty explanatory on each individual backstory, but there is a lot more in depth things. like seonghwa crossing the line and breaking the rules. the endless loop of staircases being represented with san on the escalators as he recounts having to leave his friends again.  they all have their individual things that grounds them whenever theyre feeling lost, but they also had each other. i’m assuming that ateez from the treasure era managed to mess up this timeline of ateez causing them to drive everyone away from each other.. which is why halateez tasked hongjoong with the control of time. i mean, an hourglass holds a specific amount of time but you can manipulate it by turning it before it’s done or choosing to turn it way after it has finished. ultimately, the diary film shows 8 friends who broke off into 8 different paths when they weren’t suppose to and now they’re trying to find each other once again. 

we can see this in the inception mv. a lot of their dreams were broken and so they’re lost without it. ultimately.. they are lost again without each other and their dreams. 

hm.. im not too sure about thanxx. we see a parallel shot of ateez holding the flag like in wonderland. we see the theme of defiance once again. this song talks a lot about how they’re choosing to move on their own path despite what anyone says because who knows themselves better than .. themself. in this mv, they tease their song the real, which they performed on kingdom. 

SPEAKING OF KINGDOM.... EVERY STAGE HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THEIR STORYLINE. wave overtune showed the pirate route where something happened to hongjoong’s crew and he lost them all. similar to how hongjoong in inception/thanxx has lost them all. from the wonderland is showing WHAT happened to the crew, but this time they don’t lose. rhythm ta (the awakening of summer) has all of these past props (records, yeosang’s violin) being confiscated. this performance is inspired by money heist. AGAIN, we have the theme of government defiance. on the newspaper that wooyoung rips up, it shows that the govt had deemed halateez (Black Pirates) as terr0r1sts. initially, i was wondering if this is just a re-branded halateez but then i remembered.... ateez and halateez had that agreement. perhaps this is the original ateez and they’re doing their part of the deal in protecting halateez. which means stealing back all of the stuff that was stolen and removing evidence & calling for the people to turn against the govt. i see this as halateez turning ateez into a second version of them. especially because the stage ends with hongjoong punching the glass and retrieving the hourglass after putting on a halateez hat. 

in answer: ode to joy, it offers.. closure to the treasure era. kind of. we see yeosang in the glass case again looking at the man in white from answer. then it cuts to halateez seonghwa in the cage with yeosang & the two of them flipping the hourglass together. it’s like yunho tries to stop him, but is too late... which is when he starts facing off with the man in the white suit to distract him so that yeosang & halahwa can get away. we are once again greeted with halateez and ateez facing each other at the table directly mirroring each other. halasan is right behind him copying every move. i know.. yeosang’s bit has symbolism but i can’t remember.. but i know it’s suppose to be like he’s swimming? then during hongjoong’s part, we can see halateez assisting the members in each kingdom stage leading up to answer.. so it’s like showing that halateez (although not seen) has been orchestrating everything this whole time. 

this last bit is pretty major in the story. so it seen that san is praying in the middle of this entire fight.. and wooyoung tries stopping him. his efforts don’t work and san essentially sacrifices himself so that he could fight the man in the white suit alone. i feel like there are more.. perhaps.. 8? men in white suits given that san took down one, jongho was with another, and hongjoong was surrounded by them. it makes me believe that these white suits are again ateez from another timeline trying to stop them. halateez is giving ateez the crown.. as if passing off their power to them. but jongho throws it away instead of accepting it. at the end of all of this chaos.. ateez ultimately comes out on top and defeats both halateez and the white suits. 

OR SO THEY THOUGHT !! in the fireworks mv, they are seen in a dystopian society once again. if you remember, i had brought up smokey rooms often. reason being in the diary ver. of this album, there’s a part that goes into more detail about their story. i need to read into the theories for this era more but the smoke is very important. jongho recounts how he gets suffocated with a smoke that makes him see illusions and past events, but since it all feels so real it all just seems like DEJA VU.......... the dystopian society ateez are in for this mv... it’s smokey as hell. which is believed to be the smoke that causes such illusions but they’re able to break through it. i mean.. look at this teaser for the comeback.. looks way too colorful and peaceful. we don’t see this at all in the fireworks video.. SIKE. when ateez are walking around the dystopian wasteland (aka strictland), they’re in these nice suits. it’s almost like the effects of their illusion from the teaser was wearing off and they started waking up to the reality. and once they start seeing everything for what it is, they once again.. start creating havoc as they have in the past. this mv ends with the white suit man RETURNING ... and seeing the aftermaths of what ateez has done. he looks around as if he knows.. that it was them. 

in the dreamers mv.. again it has small symbolisms. jongho with the headphones (mingi’s headphones).. hongjoong with the small cube.. the spray cans like from halahala. but i dont know too much here. 

NOW.. WE HAVE DEJA VU AND ETERNAL SUNSHINE. we don’t have too much info on them right now since it hasnt been released.. bUT THE HOURGLASS IS BROKEN. the teaser they posted showed that the hourglass has been broken and essentially... all the timelines are broken. this leaves room for a lot of mixed up timelines. which is what people believe is the reason for the reoccurrence of similar hair colors from past eras on different members. we’re all getting deja vu from these repeated looks, no? eternal sunshine... it’s another super bright concept like illusion, thanxx, and celebrate. people are tying this to the movie eternal sunshine of the spotless mind (i actually like this movie). in the movie, the couple gets a medical procedure to have their memories erase from each other. perhaps like how ateez had forgotten about each other?.. but in the movie, the main guy is trying REEEEALLY hard to get her back. which causes a mess in the timelines of their memories. things start repeating with countless acts of DEJA VU and things that just do not seem real. which again.. lines up to their story. 

SIDENOTES: 

first off.. if you read all of this, i love you. i never have been so invested in a story like this before and it genuinely is such an amazing storyline. 

there’s plenty i missed. like.. i didnt even talk about fever road but they have a couple things in there that elaborate on their friendship and everything. i also remembered their mama stage?? im p sure that had plot but i never.. looked  into that one. and not EVERYTHING ateez releases is releated obv.. unless KJK is the man in the white suit but i doubt it. 

but yeah :D those were just my thoughts. if you read this far and have any other theories, plEASE SEND THEM. i think it’s so interesting and i love discussing things.

ADDED NOTES:

control — if you look at some of the choreos, mingi controls ateez with just a gesture of his hand a lot. so perhaps that's also story-related as well? like how i mentioned he had a type of power in wonderland? leader of an army? ateez also has this seoul music awards 2021 perf where they dance like puppets, but it’s not orderly.. they’re missing their puppet master & this performance was during mingi’s hiatus.. hmmm

[eldritch-araneae]

Windblade, Bumblebee, and Sari from my Sparkpulse AU :3

Below is quick AU explanation ( it’s 13,4k works, I’m sorry I tired to keep it short I SWEAR XD) Also I’m such dumbass, I forgot their Autobot sigils! XDDD

Core ideas of the AU:

It’s basically G1+TFA+Cyberverse mix;

This AU revolves around Bumblebee as the main protagonist;

Autobots crash-landed on Earth in 1985, they landed in Detroit, specifically on Belle Isle; 

Earth became their home and Autobots pretty much-integrated into human society over 33 years. They influenced human society a lot, that helped to avert climate and energy crisis( as not wanting humans going the same road as cybertronians by depriving their planet of resources);

Ark has fusion reactors that are used in Energon production. Autobots encouraged humans to use their own fusion reactors, which allowed human civilization to completely get rid of fossil fuel as the main power source;

Setting: Solarpunk (when the story happens);

Sparks exist and give a lifeforce to all forms of life, not just to cybertronians;

Cybertron is gone, nothing can fix it;

Decepticons only arrive in 2018.

Bumblebee’s Background.

Bumblebee is the youngest among Autobots, who was found on the road unconscious back on Cybertron by Jazz. 

After examining him, Ratchet shares his concerns with Optimus - not only Bumblebee is abnormally small but his plating is soft and flexible, yet fragile, it would be easy to cut and melt through. He also lacks physical strength. 

All of this implies that Cybertron has no more resources to forge any new bots and Bumblebee is the last.

This means there is no way Optimus should send the minibot to fight ( tho Bee has a lot of courage and will pull some crazy stunts here and there), so instead he assigns Bee for scouting and spying missions under Jazz’s supervision ( Special Operations).

Introductions went pretty well, though Optimus admitted that Bumblebee’s face seemed familiar.

Soon, after the first few scouting missions, it’s revealed that Bee has a bit more problems. His spark is strange, it’s producing way too much energy that his small frame can handle, resulting in the erratic sparkpulse that overwhelms his entire system and shut him down for 5 minutes.

Thankfully it was discovered after Bee finished his duty, but still, it raised a lot of concerns. Ratchet tried his best to examine his spark chamber, only to find that the minibot’s spark was sealed shut in some sort of protective shell. This shell cannot be opened. Cutting through it would be bad, so Ratchet opted to work with what he has. 

He first suggests Bee burn down this excessive energy, which works pretty well, as training with Windblade, or doing short races where it’s relatively safe with Hot Rod and such. Still, despite his efforts, the spark eventually will send a huge energy surge that would force-reboot Bumblebee. It didn’t stop Bee from taking on his missions and one of the reboots happened in the middle of the duty. That scared the shit out of everyone as they lost contact with him while he was on Decepticons territory. Thankfully, like clockwork, he was back in 5 minutes. After he completed the mission of securing intel, he had to convince Optimus that he would be okay even if he shut down because Deceptions would never catch him. Bee reveals that he has one interesting ability - he can sense sparks of others( both signature and the pulse). 

For some reason, he thought everyone could do this, that's why he never mentioned it before. 

That allows him to plan ahead, as he pays attention to hiding places and Deception’s nearby and how they move, easily avoiding his enemies. 

Soon he’s pretty much known as the elusive Autobot who will break onto your base, steal all your shit and get away without being caught. Megatron even places a big bounty for catching Bumblebee that is yet to be fulfilled. Then he gets known for being someone who Deceptions, who wants to join Autobots can go to and arrange the meeting with Optimus Prime. Windblade always helps him with this: Bee can sense what is spark feeling, while she can use psychic abilities to catch a sense of their intent. Together they never made a mistake, though there were a couple of close calls.

So this keeps going for a short period of time until Bee catches some terrible wave of spark signatures, emitting from below. Something tells me that they are in grave danger and Autobots must leave Cybertron for good. Such a claim isn’t taken lightly, asking what proof Bee has. 

Sadly, he cannot prove anything aside from “terrible screams of mass death coming from Cybertron's core”. He feels like he knows, but he cannot recall any memories from his data banks. All he knew was that they were screwed and it’s all because of Shockwave ( who Bee hates the most, not even Megatron sparks so much anger within him as seeing Shockwave does.). Windblade also caught this as well with her different sensors so she sided with Bumblebee. Then she decided to look into Bee’s mind and see if she can help Bee to recover those memories. 

It quickly proves that it’s not that simple - all his memories that come before he was found by Jazz are sealed away. And not by some hard-coding shenanigans, but by Vector Sigma - a device that was used to program the AllSpark ( the thing that gives life to cybertronians) so it will create a desired form of life.

 And not just him, but Windblade also discovered this seal, though it only seals specific cluster to memories, which timeframe aligns with Bee’s seal.

So they had a picture: Shockwave did something that messed up Cybertron’s core and, presumably, Bee and Windlade witnessed this( and apparently have met before)? The only way to find out, a break-in to The Spire of Forging ( a place where cybertronians were born), and use Vector Sigma to break the seals. 

That caused a huge fight as the spire was currently controlled by Decepticons, while Megatron suddenly got an idea to use the AllSpark to reprogram Autobots into Decepticons. So it becomes a race. Windbalde, Bumblebee, and Optimus have reached the Chamber of Creation first...only to find out that Vector Sigma is destroyed - the device was cut apart and crucial components were missing. But it wasn’t all - the AllSpark was gone as well!

Understanding that there is nothing they can do, they retreat, followed by angry Megatron’s shooting.

After the battle Optimus informed anyone of their grim situation: AllSpark is missing( they searched for it, this artifact that very strong and unique signature but it’s literally nowhere on Cybertron), Vector Sigma is destroyed and there is still a threat that gets closed to the surface that will destroy them all ( Bee was very insistent of leaving). 

So he makes it a vote between all Autobots: shall they leave or keep fighting. To Bee’s surprise, the majority decided on leaving. Relieved, he begins helping others to prepare Ark ( their spaceship) for a long journey.

When Ark was ready to launch, some complications happened ( as the ship wasn’t in perfect condition for interstellar travels) but they managed to leave Cybertron and begin their journey to their new home.

In general, Bee is in a good relationship with almost every Autobot. Optimus values him as both an amazing scout and a good friend who isn’t afraid to speak his mind and question everything.

Bumblebee befriends Windblade - the cityspeaker from Caminus ( which was of one the first colonies that were destroyed during the war). She absolutely adores Bee’s carefree and optimistic attitude, never being tired of his silly antics ( which he often does on purpose to lighten her mood). 

They become pretty close, and Bee has no problem opening up to her, like sharing his fears ( he is really brave but isn’t fearless).

Some bots like Sunstreaker don't really like Bumblebee much. He thinks that Bee is a defective bot that will doom their entire cause and this animosity intensified when Bee starts bringing in former Decepticons and insisting on leaving their planet behind. (Sunstreaker’s twin, Sideswipe, admits it’s probably because his brother used to be like Bumblebee, kind and hopeful, but the war has changed him and he hates it.) 

Bumblebee tried his best to ignore Sunstreaker, but it is difficult as he compares himself to bigger and stronger bots, feeling like what he’s doing isn’t enough. That being fast, athletic and cunning isn’t enough - he must be more, he must become strong. Which causes him to take some crazy decisions that will put Bee in danger and probably get hurt. 

He desperately craves recognition and respect from others while not realizing that he already has it.

The arrival of Autobots on Earth in 1985.

After one warp jump, they ended up in the Solar System. The Ark wasn’t doing well ( esp engine) and needed repairs if they wanna continue their journey. Teletraan-1 scanned the solar system, informed Autobots about the planet they are currently orbiting (Earth) has a sentient lifeform along with a diverse ecosystem. This surprised everyone because of the odds of them jumping tens thousand light-years away from Cybertron and ending up near other sentient beings.

Optimus didn’t wish to disturb other sentient beings, he decided that they should move to another planet, fix their ship, and move out. 

For that Teletraan-1 suggested staying on the fifth planet’s orbit which is a gas giant (Jupiter). Gas Giants are known for having a lot of hydrogen and helium and additionally, some chemical compounds like ammonia which can be used in producing deuterium and tritium ( isotopes of hydrogen)  which are used as fuel for fusion reactors.

The only issue was how to get there, as their ship is fragile at the moment. Wheeljack suggested using gravity assist still should be okay.

Teletraan-1 calculated the positions of the planets and it’s been decided they were gonna use Earth’s gravity to propel forward, then circle around and do another flyby near Earth - that would give them another speed to reach Jupiter.

Suddenly Teletraan-1 informs the crew about a big asteroid that is headed in their direction and the collision is imminent. It happened fast, before Autobots could maneuver Ark off of the way. After the asteroid successfully vibe checked Autobots, the Ark got seriously damaged and was flung towards the planet. They couldn't break from gravitational pull so Autobots had to prepare for impacts, which would be easier if the ship weren’t breaking apart at that moment, Teletraan-1 did it’s best to stir the ship away from the cities.

Meanwhile, in chaos, Bumblebee fell into a hole in the ship’s walls and he landed in the water of Lake Erie. The impact was terrible as it almost tore his arm from his body. He screamed in pain and was forced into reboot.

Then he woke up next time, he was still in the water, completely disoriented - mostly to the fact he could sense so many sparks around him. He brushed it off as it wasn't important at the moment. 

While still being in pain, he managed to swim up to the surface to look around. Bee saw a big smoke rising in the distance, assuming this is where Ark landed, he tried to make his way there. 

Then Bee sensed something nearby, another spark with clear distress radiating from it. He looked around but saw nothing, then he submerged under the water. He saw a small figure who was struggling to swim. 

Bee dive deeper ( while doing his best to ignore the pain of his damaged arm), gently caught the figure and went back to the surface. The figure took a big inhale and coughed a lot. Bee was concerned, but he could only observe for now. 

He first noticed how this being kinda reminded him of his own kin: they have 4 limbs- 2 legs and 2 arms with 5 fingers, the face structure is similar as well, they also warm and look like they vent as well ( aka breathing. Cybertronian’s breathing is part of the air cooling system.see more in Trivia). While there was a lot of difference as well( being organic lifeform and such), that amazed Bumblebee that he almost forgot about his hand.

After being calmed down, the figure finally looked at their savior only to meet face to face with a giant alien robot. He yelled as a surprise, while Bee yelled back because the former's yell startled him pretty much.

After the shock faded and understanding that Bee wasn't doing anything bad ( they were just chilling in the lake) they sighed in relief and smiled, thanked him for saving them. Bee cannot understand what the figure says, but he assumes right he can sense relief emitting from the figure’s spark and replies, which of course the other didn’t understand as well.

The figure then gestures towards the mainland that isn’t far away, while making a paddling motion which Bee understood as “take me to the land”. He nodded ( to his relief on it means the same thing for humans) and he began swimming towards the land. Which pretty much drained him as they both arrived and his hand got worse. 

Bumblebee curled on the ground, trying to endure, but once again his system shut him down. The last thing he hears as the figure calls to him is a worry.

The next time he awoke, he wasn’t by the lake anymore, but inside of some sort of garage. He was lying on the floor and he tried to get up, but again his arm hurt, though he noticed that this time the pain is tolerable somehow.

He looks to the side and sees that his entire arm was wrapped into some weird stuff, kinda looking like duct tape? Sure it was flimsy, it kept his arm from falling apart.

Two figures entered the room: one he’s already familiar with, which is this person he saved from the lake, and others. They look similar to each other, the other person looking older, for some reason they reminded him of Ratchet. Bee tried to sit up again, but the pain wasn't letting him. Two people instantly got worried, saying something to him which he imagined was something like “please don’t move”. The older one went close to examine the arm closely, Bumblebee knew this look: a look of someone who is checking on the work they did...really reminded of Ratchet again. 

Bee sighs and gives a small smile and thanks to them, though he knows they won’t understand the hopes that the tone of his voice suggested the meaning. The older person nods in acknowledgment, then they exchanged a few words with the younger one and left the room.

The younger one sat by Bee. Autobot looked at them, observing them once more, taking more onto more features and he could tell that they did the same with him. Suddenly their expression lighted up as if they had an idea. Bee tilted his head slightly in question.

Making sure that Bee’s attention is on them, the figure points at themself says “I”. At first, Bee was confused, so they repeated it again. The only thing he could think of is to repeat the same. The exclamation followed by a nod means he did it right. Then they pointed at him and said “you”. Bee did the same...and suddenly it’s clicked. The language, they were teaching him their language!  He smiled and they continued.

Somewhere in the middle of this, they finally introduced each other. The person’s name is Spike Witwicky, a 15yo boy who is living with his father and helping him with the car repairs business. When Bumblebee introduced himself, Spike giggled, saying that Bee’s name sounded exactly how they call a specific insect. The Autobot snorts, funding this coincidence amusing. 

What a strange planet, and he began liking it already. 

Spike asks if Bee came from that huge ship that was falling. He nods, explaining ( in his broken English I imagine) that an asteroid took them down, and then he fell through the hole into the water at high speed that almost tore his arm off. Spike winced sympathetically, assuring that now Bee is gonna be alright. Then he thanks the yellow Autobot for saving him, Bee smiled in response, saying he did what he was right. Though he gets curious how Spike ended up in the water in the first place and Spike blushes in embarrassment because he was looking at the descending Ark and he wasn’t paying attention that he was hanging on slippery ground. He fell and since he wasn’t a good swimmer, the current took him away from the land until Bumblebee found him later.

Soon Spike’s father returns with more supplies and he was pleasantly surprised that their guest can communicate with them. Bee thanks him for patching his arm, tho the old guy says he can do some more, while they try to find out where the Ark landed so they can return Bee back to his people.

A bit later in the evening, Spike decided to show Bee various VHS tapes documentaries about Earth( he almost moved tv and VHS player to the garage), he could have a picture of what their planet was like. The Autobot happily agrees, being both curious and see it as an opportunity to learn more English words.

After a few days, Spike’s dad found out where the Ark landed, on Belle Isle. He offered Bumblebee a lift ( he has a truck which also was used to transport the Autobot from the lake’s shore). Bee gladly agrees, being happy they were helping him even though they didn't have to. To which Spike replied that Bee didn't have to save him either, but he did it anyway.

Spike with dad helped him to get onto the thing where to connect the thing ( lol I forgot), they both sat into the car and began their ride.

The trip went okay, Bee even relaxed and looked around the city, being amazed because everything was new, the sensations were new. Though sure he could see people staring at him, understanding that they know about Autobots...after all, there is no way you could miss something like this as their crash landing. There was probably a lot of news going on about this. 

Thankfully, Spike informed him that the ship didn’t kill anyone during the crash, which was a great relief on his spark. 

Soon they arrived at their destination, Bee peeks over the truck to see the damage around ( a lot of broken trees), and the Ark wasn’t looking so good. He hoped at least everyone was okay!

Suddenly Windblade quickly walked out of Art’s entrance, expecting these humans to be more reporters or whatever and before she could draw any conclusions, Bee called her name and waved with his good arm which instantly grabbed her attention. 

She ran over to her best friends, that he’s alive ( she was looking everywhere and was worried sick) and really wanted to bear hug him, but she saw the arm, so she hugged him gently. Then Bee explained to her that those humans helped him ( gesturing to his broken arm). Windblade thanked the theme, as Bee translated to them. 

After that Windblade announced to everyone over comms that Bee is alive and found, but required medical attention. Meanwhile, Spike looked a bit sad and asked if he’ll see Bumblebee again. The bot smiled and told him that he memorized the path from Spike’s home to Ark, so he will find it again. For that Spike jumped into a hug ( Windblade quietly ‘awww’ed at the scene). 

Windblade helped Bee to stand up and get off the truck, both humans wished Bumblebee speedy recovery before they headed home. She was asking Bee about his new friends ( and also commenting how it was only their couple of days on this planet and he already befriended aliens amazing), Bee ofc told her everything.

On Art, the crew was overjoyed with Scout's return, though Ratchet quickly led him into the med bay as it was clear how much damage he sustained. Meanwhile, Bee sends to Teletraan-1 anything he learned in English, to share with other Autobots, which Optimus was delighted with such a turn of events as it meant he can finally properly contact humans.

After Autobots got a bit established ( like making connections with humans and stuff), Bee finally paid a visit to Spike, the boy was so happy to see him again. 

After that Bumblebee and Spike spend a lot of time together and become friends. Spike also befriended Windblade, while we weren’t as close with her as with Bee, they enjoyed each other's company. Spike’s dad also made friends among Autobots. Together they learned more about the world they were stranded in, with all its beauties and problems, discovering new things like sparks actually being in every living being, Bee has to train himself to probably filter signals, he mostly focused on sensing his fellow Autobots and humans.

Bee quickly grew attached to Earth, not really missing Cybertron anymore. Sure there are a lot of processes and it’s different for everyone but Autobots felt that they can actually live again ( or begin living for younger bots who were forged during the war), the future seemed bright.

When Spike got older ( around 18 yo) he informed Bumblebee that he will leave Detroit for a university opportunity. The news saddened the scout, not wanting to part with his human friend, but he understands that he shouldn’t be in the way of Spike’s hopes and dreams. Out of curiosity, he asks Spike what he’s gonna study ( he had multiple guesses because Spike liked a lot of things).To that Spike replied with the biggest smiles that he will become an astrophysicist! Spike never could choose one thing, but that fateful day when Autobots arrived has sealed the deal. He hoped that he would work at NASA one day. They both laugh.

The day when Spike was leaving, along with his father, they said goodbye. Spike promised to stay in contact with Bee, and the bot promised the same. Kilometers apart won’t matter, they will always remain best friends forever.

Bumblebee missed Spike greatly after this and he needed time to accept this, but thankfully they both were true to their promise and stayed in contact for all years to come.

Fast forward to 2018.

This is when the story would begin, as all previous events described in this document to this point would be revealed through flashbacks and such.

Autobots have been living in peace for 33 years now. They helped humans to progress, technologically, and socially ( Solarpunk setting). They are integrated into society and have jobs( Bee for example is a courier, though sometimes he acts as a diplomat at important meetings that he attends with Prime as humans tend to like him), some bots scattered across the globe to do their thing (though they ofc course pay visits to Ark).

The Ark is part of a big overgrown forest on Belle Isle. It is because Wheeljack and Perceptor wanted to fix the damage they did to the environment during their crush. And after some experimentation, trial, and error they made some sort of serum that stimulates trees to grow fast. Too fast even as plants got out of hand at one point, so they had to fix this as well.

Bumblebee took a liking of plants, so he started his own collection. This private chamber was damaged and has a missing wall after the crash, later it was fixed, it expanded a bit and has a lot of light coming in through windows so it’s perfect for plants keeping. 

6 years ago he and Windblade befriended human Sari Sumdac, who is now 30 years old head engineer, working at Sumdac Systems along with her father. She's an absolute gremlin and always up to shenanigans, which awakes the gremlin side of Bee. Windblade tags along as well, maybe to keep an eye on them. All three are close friends :3

Sari builds an exosuit that improves her strength and grats a lot of cool abilities ( aka Iron Man but cooler) in case Decepticons show up.

He’s also in contact (which thanks to the internet became much easier) and friends with Spike, who is 48 years old astrophysicist at NASA, married to Carly, and has adopted son Daniel. Spike with his family visits Detroit each year to hang out with Autobots.

There is a lot of shenanigans happening on Ark, especially in group chat ( aka Discord server? with Sari and Spike invited.) The higher command are mods, but sure, Jazz loves changing channels names into something stupid :D

There are always twins ( Sideswipe and Suntreaker) with pranks, Jazz blasting music, Wheeljack blowing himself up again while Ratchet complains, fixing him again and again. They would do a lot of activities when free, (imagine them playing Among Us, Bumblebee being such a good imposter >:3) adopting human customs, they even get invited sometimes to entertainment shows ( you know, like those with two teams they have to do various impressions, etc).

The Bee loves music and got into drumming ( he had a habit of focusing on someones’ sparkpulse, using it as a base beat and used his hands to drum on various surfaces as entertainment back on Cybertron), he always does collabs with Windblade ( electro guitar), Sari ( keyboard + other electronic stuff, like a theremin) and sometimes Spike ( saxophone) to do video game music covers, they have a channel ( editing video and maintaining are on Jazz).

Fun fact: Bee’s drumkit and Blade’s guitar are one of few things of cultural value that actually survived the war, though they required repairment and some adjustments ( because the kit was too big for Bumblebee), they are in good condition now. There is writing on Cybertronian, showing the name of the company that used to produce instruments all those million years ago. 

Autobots are living their best life, even though they are prepared in case Decepticons will show up at their doorway.

The arrival of Decepticons.

Decepticons left Cybertron soon after Autobot’s, as Megatron believed that Optimus stole the AllSpark and was determined to take it back and use it to fix their broken homeworlds. Unlike Ark, their spaceship, Nemesis, was in [perfect condition. so they traveled from star to star in order to find a signal from AllSpark.

The problem was that no matter how Shockwave updated the scanning system, they just couldn't find any traces. It was frustrating to Megatron, he could feel how much energy this object radiated every time he walked into the Chamber of Creation, but there was literally nothing. It couldn't just vanish into thin air, can it?

So they just kept guessing, checking every nearby star system. It took a lot of time and was fruitless and the Decepticons grew tired. Starscream especially, always dreamed about taking Megatron’s place and rule Decepticons. So one day, after another failure to locate the AllSpark, Megatron and Starscream broke into a fight, resulting in the warlord throwing his second in command at the control panel by accident. 

Starscream face planted random coordinations and the Nemesis warp jumped to the Solar System, placing them on Earth’s orbit. Sunday scanners activated as they found Autobots’ signatures on this planet. Megatron laughs, he finally found Optimus so the AllSpark must be with them.

Soon they landed somewhere outside of Detroit, which didn't go unnoticed. Teletraan-1 alerts Autobots immediately. Bumblebee volunteers to investigate, followed by Windblade as a backup. Optimus approves the mission and the trio goes to Nemesis location.

Bee gets close to Nemesis, while Blade stays in the air just in case her friend needs a quick escape. He knows the plans of the ship well ( he infiltrated it a number of times), so he easily slips through the guards inside, into the vents. Soon he locates Megatron and carefully listens. He finds out about Megatron's intention to seize the AllSpark from Autobots. Looks like it's the only reason why they even came here and he will turn the city apart to get it.

Thankfully Wheeljack made a force field that won't let Decepticons in as a precaution for years ago. Still, that is a grim sign and they have to deal with Deceptions regardless. 

Bumblebee hacks into their system and quickly downloads important intel.

Then he sees Shockwave, it takes a lot of self-control to not hiss, Megatron just gives him simple orders to oversee something. He takes orders and leaves, but Bumblebee notices that he went in a completely different direction ( as Bee knows the ship well) and didn't like it. Bee wants to follow and see what this mad scientist is planning, but he senses Ravage nearby. The cat is also moving quickly through vents, probably because Soundwave ejected him here in case Bumblebee will show up.

The scout quickly gets out beforeRavage discovers him and leaves. On the way back he shares his findings with Windblade, and later back on Ark with the high command of Autobots. They don't have the AllSpark (and even if they had they wouldn't give it to Megatron anyway), and they must drive Decepticons off the planet, or convince Megatron to stop.

So after this, I imagine a few instances when Decepticons tried to attack the city ( but couldn't get it), Autobots would usually lure them away from the city and fight them there. Here examples of shenanigans that happened:

Sudden dance off, the seeker trio( Starscream, Thundercracker, and Skywarp) was really confused about this shit;

Sari ( in her suit) is legit disassembling Decepticons in the mid-fight. Imagine, Starscream wants to shoot, but his null rays fall off, awkward;

She also stole t-cog ( the detail responsible for transformation) from Blitzwing, much later it was returned;

Devastator caught Bumblebee and was going to quash the scout. Bee on the other hand focused on Devastator’s sparks ( he’s a combiner, made out of 6 Decepticons known as Constructicons) by accident and could hear that chaos that is happening in Devastator’s mine ( since all 6 don't merge into one, they still present chatter, telling Devastator what to do which is pure chaos). That overwhelms him and he yells “QUIET”, silencing 6 six constructions which seriously freaks Devastator out and he falls apart. Much later he did the same trick again when tried to throw Devastator at Autobots again;

Optimus is trying to convince Megatron that they don't have the AllSpark which isn't working. Not letting his frustration get ahead of him, Prime starts throwing memes( which he carefully chose for a specific situation) at Megatron. Megatron is not amused ahah).

Megatron wants to move forward and maybe to take on other cities to force Prime to surrender, but Autobots are one step ahead( as they planned), surrounding Nemesis from various positions ( as Optimus called all other Autobots that live in different locations) to harass Deceptions from time to time, trapping their enemies effectively. 

Conspiring with cassettes.

Later Autobots find out that despite the force field being up, and effectively repelling Deceptions, Soundwave’s cassettes are actually able to squeeze through. Wheeljack is hypothesizing it’s probably because of their size ( they are smaller than Bumblebee as intended) and looking for a solution to solve this.

Interestingly enough, cassettes ( 5 of them: Ravage, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, and twins: Frenzy and Rumble) are not causing chaos while being out in the city. Bumblebee is keeping an eye on them, he can easily track them down, though they move fast which turns into some sort of game. At some point, he actually exchanges words with Ravage. Bee is trying to understand cassette's motives, but Ravage keeps it to himself ( though Bee senses some sort of enjoyment instead of malice).

Later Bumblebee gets a message from Rumble: they have a bomb and will blow up something ( I haven't decided sorry) if Bumblebee won't come to them alone. Knowing this is turned into a fight, he goes anyway without telling anybody as he wants to get to the bottom of this.

This indeed turns into a fight, as cassettes demand Bee to tell them where the AllSpark is. Bee tells them he has no idea like anyone else. Ravage asks why Bumblebee doesn't want to restore Cybertron, to which Bee replies that there is literally nothing left to restore. The AllSpark isn't some sort of magical object that can fix all their problems. Besides, Decepticons had it in control, why didn't they use it then? The situation gets really awkward after this, Frenzy admits that Megatron saw devastation only after Autobots left as his focus shifted to other things after his enemies were gone.

The fight stops, Bumblebee seizes the moment and asks where is the bomb they threatened him with earlier. Laserbeak just casually shows it, and in fact, it wasn't even activated. Rumble tells him when Megatron found out that cassettes and slip through the barrier, he ordered Soundwave to use the bomb to cause chaos. This isn't really what cassettes want to do, because finally in a million years they can actually roam free and explore new locations and things safe from Megaton. 

Cassettes admit that they aren't really loyal to their leader, only participating in war because their caretaker, Soundwave, was loyal to Megaton...though his loyal shifted and now his loyalty revolves around keeping his cassettes safe because Megatron won't be nice if he finds out. So he keeps up his appearances, while he lets his cassettes roam free.

Bumblebee understands that situation is complicated, but he sees this as an opportunity to end this stupid war. After all, Soundwave is highly regarded by Megatron, so maybe he can work with this.

Buzzsaw thought asks what they are gonna do now as they failed the task, which is quickly decided to shift all blame onto Bumblebee, even for future situations like this as Bee revealed that he can sense from far away from anyone. Ravage realized it’s the reason why he and others were never able to catch him! So after this being decided they went back and Bee returned to Ark, sharing this only with Sari, Windblade, and Optimus Prime for security reasons, he doesn't want to blow cassettes cover by accident.

Infiltrating Nemesis again.

Bumblebee isn't having a good time. He gets forced into reboot more frequently than it used to, especially during battles with Decepticons. Autobots had to save him multiple times, which was a blow to his self-esteem. Not to mention Sunstreaker was at him again, insulting the scout. Bumblebee yelled at him in return ( something that never happened before), he gets angrier and more frustrated. His best friends are doing their best to help, but there is little they can do.

Ratchet examined him and scanners show that the spark shell is losing its integrity, as it wears off over time. That explained why so many reboots happened recently. He says that Bumblebee shouldn't go on the missions at all, and Optimus agrees with this. Bee doesn't take it well, believing they think he’s now being useless to them, and storms off.

Then he sneaks out at night, planning to infiltrate the Nemesis again with two purposes: to prove that he is still useful to Autobots and to find out what Shockwave is up to ( it still bothers him a lot).

He sneaks in like usual and at first, it was okay, but then the vent under him broke ( yeah those vents are worn off over so many years too) and he fell right before the Seeker Trio. So the chase begins, Bee still can get away and he knows the ship but suddenly an unfortunate thing happens - his spark malfunction again and sends him into forced reboot.

Next time he awakens, he’s being restrained on some sort of medical table, which Bee quickly recognizes where he is - in Shockwave quarters. That sends terror to his spark, not only he’s been caught and Autobots don't know where he is, but he’s at mercy of the mad scientist. 

He tried to break free, but it’s useless, he never had much strength anyway. He looks around, and among his various projects, he sees something like a spire blueprint projected on the screen. It seems like it’s part of Nemesis. He doesn't like this at all. 

Shockwave enters the rooms, carrying various tools with him. Bee asks what he’s gonna do with him. The scientist doesn't reply first as he runs the scanner over Bee’s entire body ( while he’s changing the project on his scene meanwhile), it detects something in Bee’s spark chamber. 

Bee asks why Shockwaves keeps doing this,( like his sick experiments that even Megatron did not approve of). To this, the scientist replies that this war is going way too long and it will never end. So he decided to have a little fun while he can, he wants to relish in chaos and see the world burn.

He says that Bumblebee is carrying something interesting inside and he wants to find it. Shockwave activates his cutting tool and gets closer, intending to cut Bumblebee open.

Thankfully, salvation comes in an unusual form, Soundwave enters the room and demands to hand Bumblebee to him. Shockwave is not amused and refuses, so both argue until Shockwave gets an order directly from Megatron because the warlord wants Soundwave to dig intel out of elusive Autobot scout. After that, Shockwave can do whatever he wants with the prisoner.

Bee sighs with relief as he is escorted to Soundwave quarters. He doesn't make an attempt to escape, he can't really run away with a stasis cuff one + hr wants to get more insight on the Communication Officer. Maybe Soundwave knows what Shockwave is planning.

When they arrive, Bumblebee gets fully restrained again, and he’s mind gets connected to Soundwave’s systems ( via a cord) to start digging thought Bee’s mind ( if I remember correctly, Soundwave can read minds and emotions bc he can sense electric impulses in the processor or brain, he using cord here bc he wants to do deeper). 

Bee is pretty calm about this, he doesn't carry any useful intel ( he usually drops it at Teletraan-1 when he completes the duty). So Soundwave is stuck with casual memories while looking for any indication of the AllSpark, though he comments on Bee's good drumming skills.

Meanwhile, Ravage self-ejects from Soundwave’s chest and be like “dude seriously how the fuck did you get caught?? what are you doing even?”. Bee asks if they know anything about Shockwave’s plans. Such a question surprises both Decepticons, Bee understands that they don't know anything. Ravage doesn't like the sound of this and asks Bee to elaborate, but before he can answer, the scout looks to the side, sensing Megatron is coming in this direction. 

Ravage quickly transforms and tucks himself back into Soundwave’s cassette deck. In a minute, the warlord himself entered the room. He is pleased to see Soundwave already working on the task, while he turns to Bumblebee to take a good look at him as he never has seen the scout, who ruined a lot of his plans, up close - Bee would always be in the distance or lingering on the corners of Megatron’s optics before vanishing out of sight.

Megatron is acting pretty smug as a big nuisance in his grasp, though he admits he feels like he saw Bee’s face somewhere ( same reaction as Prime). He starts monologuing about how it would be great if Bumblebee would join him, they would win this war quickly. Maybe the little scout would convince Optimus Prime to join them, to which Bee asked if Megatron is still salty about Optimus breaking up with him.

That quickly pisses Megatron off, he grabs scout's neck and pins him heavily on the table, saying that he should watch his mouth. Bee isn't having this, replying ( as much as he can with his throat squeezed) that Megatron is an insolent fool who only focuses to keep Starscream on a leash, while Shockwave is plotting under his nose.

Megatron would probably hurt Bumblebee after this, but Sundewave reminded his leader that he’s still working and needs the scout in pieces. Megatron gives the order to continue, while he leaves. Both Bee and Soundwave sigh in relief, the latter commenting that the scout should keep it down in Megatron’s presence, to which Bee replies that someone had to say this.

Soundwave soon stumbles upon the Vector Sigma seal, locking the rest of Bumblebee’s memories. Soundwave asks Bee about this, to which the scout gives him the honest answer - he doesn't know how it got there and it’s been there already when he “first” woke up. Bumblebee asks if Soundwave can break it. The communication officer makes a few attempts, but it doesn't affect the seal at all. They need Victory Sigma, but it’s gone.

Bee expressed his frustration because he felt like the answer lies beneath it, but he said that he will find a way to stop Megatron. Soundwave replies that it’s impossible, but Bee doesn't buy this, he noticed the other reaction and it was hopeful.  

Bumblebee also notices multiple sparkpulses inside Soundwave, his cassettes, but only 5 of them are active, while there are many more of them, and those cassettes are being stasis. Bee asks Soundwave how long they’ve been asleep. Soundwave pauses, not expecting that question, and they reply that they have been in stasis since the beginning of the war.

Bee now understands, Soundwave has been working hard for Megatron, wanting to end the war as quickly as possible ( that was a motivation for a lot of Decepticons as Bee found out when they reached out for him), while sparing most of his cassette the trauma.

They sat in silence for a minute before Megatron contacted Soundwave, demanding his presence somewhere while ordering to leave a cassette to guard the prisoner. Soundwave sits for another minute, communicating with these cassettes, then ejects Ravage and leaves the room.

Ravage stands still, listening to the environment and making sure the coast is clear, then tells Bumblebee “you broke out using shock bombs, understood?” and releases the scout. Bee quickly gets up, thanking the cat. To that Ravage says “Go left now, I’ll give you ten seconds”. Bee nods and runs out of the room. 

After ten seconds the alarms burst on, informing that the prisoner had escaped. For convenience, Bee uses a few shock bombs he has with him as Decepticons try to stop him. 

He gets out, though he’s also pretty beaten up and it takes hours for him to get back to Ark ( he couldn't transform). He collapses then he crosses the entrance.

When Bee awakens, he’s on a medical table. His body is fixed, though Ratchet gave the minibot an earful of lecture for defying his recommendations and now Bee’s spark shell is even more strained. Prime also talks to Bee, reassuring the scout that no, Optimus and other Autobots don’t see him as burned and he doesn't have to go to such lengths to prove himself ( those conversations happened often back on Cybertron).

Bee doesn't reply, yet the give into he gathered when he was stuck on Nemesis.

Soon after this, Bee actually gets to talk with Sunstreaker to resolve their issue. The taller Autobot admits that he’s been projecting a lot because he used to be like Bumblebee when he was younger. Then he was envious because, despite everything, Bee remains kinds and hopeful. The scout tells him it takes a lot of work to keep being him after all those tragedies he had witnessed. Sunstreaker nods, though he still doesn't understand who Bee can easily move on after leaving Cybertron, it was their home after all. 

Bumblebee simply said that Cyberton didn’t feel like home, but prison.

And then the shit gets real!

Optimus decided to take another chance to negotiate peace with Megatron. They gathered near Nemesis, both Autobots and Decepticons just chilling (some interacting, like cassettes hanging out with Bee-Blade-Sari trio) while their leaders were negotiating. 

At first there heated arguments between the two leaders, Megatron acting like Optimus is the one being unreasonable and trying to blame him, while Optimus being like “listen you started this shit, you have no one to blame but yourself” (more politely of course). Soon, they both calmed down and actually made progress, as Megatron noticed that a lot of Decepticons are being distracted by various Earthian things because it’s all new in a million years.

Before they could proclaim anything, Shockwave appeared. Bee tenses instantly, this can't be good. I haven't decided if Shockwave would monologue or not, but the end is the same - he shoots Bumblebee in the chest.

Before anyone can react, Shockwave snatches the minibot and lifts him to his level, taking a closer look at the wound. The shoot wasn't direct, but tangential - it made a hole in the chest and partly chipped away the protective shell, leaving Bee’s spark partly exposed.

The energy is pulsing through the hole now( while Bee’s pulse gets completely haywire as he tries to free himself), the signature, and the effect is unmistakable - this is the AllSpark.  The amount of shock is impossible to describe, after all, Bee was carrying the AllSpark within himself and no one had an idea. Even Shockwave did not expect THAT!

Megatron is being evil smug again, now the AllSpark within his grasp! Except Shockwave has other plans. Instead, he activates his device, which was built into Nemesis. This spire was designed to fuck over all lifeforms on this planet ( including cybertronians), and with AllSpark his plan to cause massive chaos gets perfect as the AllSpark not only creates but also destroys. 

As he was about to rip the AllSpark out of Bee’s body, this system got overwhelmed, but instead of rebooting, his body discharged the energy, creating a big wave that threw everyone away.

Bumblebee meanwhile is screaming in pain ( the AllSpark is slowly breaking him apart) and a surge of painful memories ( the wave broke the seal). Not to mention he’s surrounded and pretty sure he might die, if he wants to get through this - he must become stronger to protect himself.

That thought activates the interface, the Vector Sigma interface. It already had something set up there. Bee can’t really see what it is, something about protective armor(?), he confirms it, the interface turned into a small cell that absorbed a portion of AllSpark energy. Then, as if he knows what to do, he slams the cell into the ground.

For a moment nothing happened, then suddenly a huge amount of plant-like-black vine material burst from the ground. Everyone instantly got into their sense after that blast, now witnessing those vines connecting to Bee’s chest and the AllSpark, lifting him off the ground and begin forming something BIG.

Decepticons are trying to shoot those vines, but hey, they re heat resistant quickly grow back :) Autobots are trying to contact the scout, but his comm is dead, Windblade cannot get into him minds as it’s filled with so many negative emotions like rage, grief, desperation, depression. Said emotions also floored Soundwave, making him unable to move.

Soon Bumblebee ( or more like the huge shell that was growing around him) formed into a big, dragon-like creature, who leats out of deafening roar at AllSpark energy shoots everywhere. An he’s so angry that everyone around him can feel it in their sparks.

This is how he looks, he’s strong enough to throw big cybertronians around like chew toys. Bumblebee’s body is cocooned in the chest area, the light from the AllSpark shines through crevasses.

Despite being angry, he doesn’t attack first and Optimus could have reasoned with him, but Megatron decided it was a good idea to attack the bigger monster and this is when the shit gets loose. 

Bumblebee trashes around, causing chaos around him, sometimes targeting someone and going after them for a few moments. All this is followed by energy discharges, so he successfully beats the shit out of everyone.

Shockwave is the only one who is pleased with surprise results, as he tried to collect data.

Soon Windblade manages to get a hold of her best friend’s mind and he tries to calm Bee down. He slows down a bit, which opens an opportunity for Sari to get inside thought crevasses and try to locate him.

She follows the opposite direction from energy flow, and soon she finds him. His face is a mix of anger and fear, Sari starts talking, trying to draw his attention to her. Soon enough he notices her ( the beast stops moving).

Bee tells her that he’s scared and he’s in pain. His body cracks more because even this large shall not contain all the power of the AllSpark. She hugs his head, telling that they will figure this out, but first hee need to stop thrashing around, he’s hurting everyone. 

Meanwhile, Windblade does the same, using telepathy to talk to him. It worked and they always convinced him to just fly towards the Ark, but Shockwave wasn’t having that, and started shooting at Bumblebee, trying to provoke him. Bee is sort of back to his senses, seeing Shockwave again, angers him to the point that this anger throws Windblade out of his mind. Sari is alright, but the expressions on Bee’s face terrified her. 

Bees run and pines Shockwave to the ground. Suddenly he speaks ( his voice sounds very distorted when it comes from the beast) telling him in space that Shockwave is the one who destroyed Cybertron and left them homeless. the mad scientist chuckles, commenting that this means his “pet project” had worked and he regrets nothing.  

Bumblebee executes Shockwave without mercy.

After Bumblebee flies up heads towards the Ark, Windblade flies after him, while Optimus uses this moment to gather Autobots and get the hell out of there. Sari tells him over comms that Bee is breaking, so he asks Ratchet to drive ahead and help Bumblebee.

Bee meanwhile is almost there, but his body cannot take this anymore. The chest opens up and Bumblebee with Sari falls out of the monster( then the husk falls down and lands right by the entrance of Ark). They both fall for a few seconds before the AllSpark shatters into small pieces and they fly in different directions. Windblade caught them both, both saw what happened and got really scared that Bee might be dead. 

There is small light coming from his exposed spark chamber, so Blade rushes to the medical bay, while frantically explaining to Ratchet ( who is on the way) what just happened. He instructs them to stabilize Bumblebee, enforcing he gets in and takes over.

Ratchet barely managed to save Bee’s life. After that, it took a lot of time to put the minibot together ( between all other urgent repairs of other Autobots that got fucked up by Bee’s outrage). Now, when the danger has passed, Ratchet can get a better look at scout’s sparks chamber that was hidden under the shell. Said shell was crumbled, he had to remove it. Then tells others what he’s discovered: 

First, his spark still hosts a few AllSpark shards. He tried to remove it but it turned out that Bee’s spark IS merged with the AllSpark. His system even pings errors about missing components. This is ironic because it made sense that the AllSpark was causing erratic sparkpulses, but yet they cant separated it from him;

Second, he discovered that Bee also has Vector Sigma installed in his spark chamber, this is exactly those missing components from the broken device;

Third, now there is a plant ( it looks exactly like that vine from earlier) parasite residing in Bee’s body, it appears to be feeding on AllSpark energy. Ratchet tried to remove it, it slapped him on the face. It resists and refuses to come off.

It raises so many questions, of how and why Bee got both AllSpark AND Vector Sigma. There was a suggestion that Bee could steal, or maybe all of this was some sick experiment that Shockwave did, though now they won’t know with the mad scientist dead. Windblade feels that she was involved in this, but still has no idea how.

She still cannot stop thinking about what she saw in Bee’s mindspace during the rampage. He was overwhelmed by grief, sadness, pain, guilt and all of this he merged into anger. And that he carried this angger for a really long time, longer that any of them can imagine. Ratchet is sure that Bee cannot be older, but who knows. Perhaps Bumblebee had a different body in the past that was destroyed.

After a week Bee wakes up. Of course, he’s being hugged by Blade and Sari, everyone sighed with relief. Optimus asks if Bee remembers anything from the meeting. The scout thinks for a moment. He remembers being shot, he remembers paint and panic and anger, he definitely remembers killing Shockwave. He doesn’t know who to feel about it.

He also informed him about a plant parasite. Bee is surprised, but he feels fine for far.

He’s upset when he learns that he beat everyone up and proceeds to apologize before every Autobot that was involved in this. He also sees his discarded husk outside of the Ark, which is examined by Wheeljack and Perceptor (  and wondering if human culture influenced Bee to make this creature look like one of the monsters from his video games).

He doesn’t have any recollection of making it, though this form seems familiar...probably he saw that dragon in a video game...probably.

Bee walks around the island to clear his head, being joined by Sari and Windblade. He admits that he is partly scared that he killed Shockwave like this...but on hand, he’s relieved that this guy is gone and Earth is safe for now. 

The scout also tells them that he remembered something during that fight that he could remember before. He tried again, but now it feels like his memories are scattered - they are there, but out of reach. 

To see what’s going on, Windblade uses her abilities to get into Bee’s mind. She sees that the Vector Sigma seal is gone ( tho her own is still active), but now all those memories that were locked are either missing or corrupted. Even those that weren’t locked are broken. She hypothesized that the AllSpark shattering damaged his data banks, taking the portion of memories with shards. 

That is just another reason why they must collect the shards.

Good thing that Bee can sense the shards, most of them landed in the city, but some landed outside, even near Nemesis which isn’t good. Later they come back and inform Prime about this and the high command starts formulating the plans of retrieving shards.

Meanwhile Wheeljack, Ratchet, and Sari brainstorm ideas of how to prevent the AllSpark from harming Bumblebee. The plant is absorbing the portion of energy, but it’s clear he still needs a shell. Sari tells them that Sumdac Systems will provide resources for the project.

Collecting the shards.

In general, the collecting of shards will go smoothly for most of the time, since most shards landed in the city. Some they found just laying in the bushes or roofs, some were handled by humans, some were even sent by mail. As new shards rejoin Bumblebee, Windblade helps him to restore his recent memories, while they still need to complete AllSpark to get access to previously locked memories.

Ratchet also keeps in check Bee’s health as new shards are added, and gradually builds a shell around the spark chamber, minding the plant.

So, few thing that happened during this time frame in no particular order:

Starscream got his hands onto one of the shards and caused chaos to both Decepticons and Autobots, he can even use it to get through the force field around the city;

Bumblebee created Grimlock, using an awesome t-rex animatronic as a base;

Thundercracker leaving Decepticons, thought he didn't go to Autobots either. He talks with Windbladem admitting that it was terrifying to see someone like Bumblebee so hurt ( he’s referring to that dragon accident) because of the war;

Discovering that the plant, living inside Bee is actually a symbiont - it protects its host when Bee is in danger, even helping him to lift a weight that Bee couldn't before ( though his body hurts a lot after this). Sari names it Clover ( in fact she did it with all Bee’s plants);

When the last shard is gathered, Ratchet doesnt final touches to the shell. He doesn't completely seal it away, letting it’s potions flow through Bumblebee’s body. This should reduce chances of forced reboot, thought they still might happen.

After this, Bumblebee secludes himself in his room, wanting to sort through all his memories, as those old one now finally accessible. After a few days he asks Windblade to come, He removes her Vector Sigma seal, and they talk through all those events. 

Soon Bumblebee requests Autobots together ( who can come, if someone can't, then they will be sent the recorded version of this) in front of Ark ( where the husk is) because there is something that everyone must know. He also asks Soundwave to send Laserbeak to the meeting, so she can record this conversation and present it to other Decepticons, Megatron included. Soundwave obliges, sending Bee his regards.

The truth behind the AllSpark.

Now with all his memories intact, Bumblebee reveals that he’s not the guardian or an weird experiment involving the AllSpark, but he IS the AllSpark.

That one thing was enough to shock everyone( accepts Windblade). At first they thought that technically yes, bc Bee’s spark fused the AllSpark, but Bee elaborates that he was created by Primus billions years ago. Windblade confirmed it, as she knows the truth already. 

To clear the confusion, Bumblebee starts from the beginning. 

Primus was wandering around the Universe. Like any giant with planet alt-form, he had one desire - to create and host a life. While he could easily transform, create a new life, and then fall into eternal slumber, Primus wanted to leave someone in charge. Thus he created the AllSpark - a powerful transformer who can create, destroy and maintain life on the planet. 

This person is Bumblebee, with a dragon-like altform, that looked almost exactly like that husk that now is resting in front of Ark.

Before Bee proceeded to his duties, he and Primus traveled around the Universe. Primus was teaching Bumblebee about life, about conditions required for life to exist, about material and what kind of life he can make. They visited planets, filled with various life forms: organic, silicone, energoinds and even other mechanical lifeforms.

Bee was observing living beings, learning about how they build, how they function, how they interact.

When the training was finished and Bee was ready, they traveled to a lone orange dwarf star(class K). Primus transformed and placed himself onto orbit. After this Bumblebee created the first cybertronian life. 

In thousands of years he filled the planets with divine ecosystems, with various biomes and huge species diversities and even first sentient beings. For most of the time he left anything for natural selection, while keeping a close eye on it in case something appears that will threaten life on the planet. In this case, by his protocols, he must kill that being in order to preserve balance.

He admits, while he loved his job and enjoyed creating, he was lonely. Primus advised against forming a relationship with his creations because he thought that Bumblebee’s powers could be misused in this case, for example getting involved in conflict where he could be persuaded to insta-kill someone. 

So he stayed out, but it hurt and he longed for companionship more than anything, which led to frustration and even anger at his creator for leaving alone for eternity.

Still, Bumblebee endured this and continued his work.

Peace lasted for a long time  ( if you don't think of the wars that were waged between clans from time to time), until Quintessons began their invasion on Cybertron. At first they couldn't set their tentacles there as Bee was such a fierce protector, but much later they figured out to send drones to fight instead. That posed a problem for Bumblebee because yes, he can easily kill a living being, but cannot kill what isn't alive in the first place. 

Bumblebee held endless hordes of drones for a long time, but eventually he was overwhelmed by numbers ( he was fighting alone, as cybertronians back there were no match to Quinesson’s forces) and killed.

Cybertron fell to Quintessons and everyone was enslaved.

Then Quintessons salvaged his spark( The AllSpark) and few more components to use the power of creation to create even more slaves. At first they couldn't use AllSpark, because it has quantuum properties. It creates endless possibilities, but none of their devices has enough strong sensors to set those possibilities, making them real.

Lucky for them, the components they got from Bumblebee’s dead body were connected to the AllSpark, with them Quintessons created Vector Sigma, a device that allows manipulation of the AllSpark.

They kept creating slayes, while completely ignoring anything else and soon all those diverse ecosystems that Bee made collapsed. The rain turned into acid, rust was crawling everywhere as Quintessons kept draining resources of the planet, while they tried to erase everything about Primus and AllSpark from cybetronian’s culture. While cybertronians still remembered Primus, the AllSpark was forgotten.

Hearing this was disturbing, considering the fact that after cybertronians liberated themselves from Quinesson’s tyranny - they kept using Vector Sigma for forging new bots.

Bumblebee wasn't too angry about this, they simply didn't know. Then he gets asked if he was killed, how Bumblebee is still here?

Short answer is they only destroyed his body. To explain this, Bumblebee reminds everyone how sparks work. Sparks are the lifeforce of every living being, but for sentient beings it also serves like a second brain/processor to process the emotion response.

But in Bumblebee’s case it’s the other way around: his spark is the main processor, while the head processor is for emotional response and processing the info from sensors. Primus made him like this in case Bumblebee's gonna get killed at some point so he could rebuild himself.  

Sadly, because they quickly salvaged him, removing both his spark and components that we connected to it and separating them - that made rebuilding impossible. 

And because of his spark’s quantuum nature, Bumblebee’s consciousness was locked in a quantum state, making him both existing and not existing at the same time.

He could only watch what’s happening. He was grieving over his work being destroyed, his creations being enslaved and potentially being forever stuck in quantuum sea, not able to interact with the real world again. 

The time went by, and eventually, cybertronians livetred themself from Quintessons and it marked the beginning of the Golden Age. Bumblebee was lingering, watching this happen. He was a bit happier after this, despite the fact that society was locked in functionalism( when both's place in society is defined by their alt form. Like a jet could only serve in the army) - a leftover from Quintesson tyraty. Still, it was better than Quintessons!

Bumblebee continues lingering, sometimes he floats in the form of a random bot and asks if they can see him. Usually it never works, but one day, one bot was able to hear him. Bee was ecstatic about this, finally he could talk to someone ( even though his talking was mere whisper as he forgot how his own voice used to sound). He introduced himself as Bumblebee ( it was one of many names that was given to him by his creations during ancient times that he liked a lot).

Bee thought maybe he could tell someone the truth about AllSpark origin and maybe that would help him to get back to the real world, but sadly none of his attempts were successful. Some don't believe him, some did but were punished by strict government. Additionally as Bee realised that only those who can psychic abilities can hear him. And those bots are extremely rare.

Still, Bumblebee wasn't losing hope, and kept trying ( though he was being more thoughtful about getting his friend in trouble). 

At some point, another big event happened - a gladiator named Megatron, with his partner, archivist Orion Pax ( who will later be known as Optimus Prime) created a revolution that liberated cybertronians from cages of functionalism. Now every cybertronian could be whoever they wanted, that pleased Bumblebee so much.

Not to mention now he has more chances to escape his quantuum prison, especially when a group of archaeologists has found a hidden temple that was dedicated to AllSpark - the only one that wasn't destroyed by Quintessons.

Even Megatron with Optimus came to see these fins. The most noticeable thing was the statue which archaeologists believed was the personification of AllSpark, which was an image of Bumblebee. 

(That made Optimus realise why Bumblebee’s face was so familiar when he first met him. Sure the form is different, but the face remains the same( and same goes to Megatron).)

At the same time a group of scientists noticed some quantum fluctuation comic from the AllSpark and they were going to research this. 

During this timeframe, Bee was really close to being found. He was really close to escaping. 

But as if fate decided to fuck everyone over, things changed from best to worst.

It all started when everyone realised that Cybertron will be completely drained of resources in a few millions years. That caused the frantic search of planets where they could get them. One planet that was relatively close was found. It was rich and solved this problem...but it also hosted life.

Heated arguments began, Megatron believed that they can just go and take it, because they really needed it and they are superior to this primitive form of life on that planet. Optimus on other hand refused to harm those lifeforms, even if they are primitive, that they can look elsewhere.

Bumblebee sided with Optimus, he knew the fact that there is another system near that one, that is rich with resources they need AND also unsuitable for life. He knew it in case if he ever needed those resources he could go and get them back in the day when he was in charge here.

Bee frantically searched for someone who could hear him, so he could pass this information...but he had no luck. Soon the civil war began and it was the beginning of the end.

As war was going on, Bumblebee lost all hope. He saw destruction he hadn't seen since Quintessons invasion and Cybertron’s reasons were thinning. Soon there were no resources to make new bots.

Bumblebee tight there is nothing he can do and was saddened about upcoming doom. 

Until and stumbled upon Windblade.

She was able to hear him. So they talked a lot and became close. Bee told her everything about himself, and when Blade was going to tell Optimus about Bee, he stopped her. Bumblebee was scared he's gonna be punished somehow ( it happened before in the past) but instead he has a plan, but he needs her help. She agrees, and waits until Bee is done with preparation.

Soon Bumblebee tells her about it, even a bit more urgently because he just saw Shockwave unleashing something that will kill everything and they need to get off the planet.

But first, Bumblebee needs a body. Now, when the Chamber of Creation isn't occupied anymore, Windblade sneaked inside ( Bee was carefully guiding her) the Spire, then got into the Chamber. 

He instructed her to activate Vector Sigma, then managed to upload a blueprint to her data banks that she was able to upload to Vector Sigma. 

Then he told her to set specific parameters, allowing the systems that were used for assembling bodies to scrap for resources. It was barely enough, still it gathered resources for a small body, compromising something like strength and armor. 

Then he told her to cut open Vector Sigma and get important components - the very same components that belonged to him long ago and install them to the body's spark chamber.

The last step was taking the AllSpark, placing it in a spark chamber and sealing it in a protective shell that will suppress the AllSpark frequency.

When Windblade did all this, she waited. It was silent for a few minutes and she was anxious that the plant might not get worse...before the body powered up and for the first time in seemingly forever, Bumblebee opened his optics.

This was probably the happiest day of his life since he lost his body. He hugged Windblade, thanking her for getting him out. After adjusting and remembering how to walk to transformers, they left the Spire.

But now they had to figure out what to do. When Megatron finds out that AllSpark is gone, hell will break loose and they cannot have the AllSpark being taken again. 

Bee cannot really protect himself. His body is fragile and will fall apart if he to unshesh his powers. And Decepticons like Soundwave can dig into one's mind to find out their secret. So it leads to a drastic solution - to seal any memories of him away. Blade doesn't want this, but understands it’s their only shotm so she agrees.

First they position themself near Autobot base.

Then Bumblebee activates his Vector Sigma interface, programming the seal in a specific way, so while memories are locked away, some feelings will linger. This will allow Bumblebee and Windblade to become friends again, and will also carry on the missing to make cybertronians leave the planet.

First he places the seal into Windblade’s data banks, which will activate in a few minutes and reboot her system. So it gives her time to arrive to base and be safe when memories are going to be locked away. She hugs him again before he leaves sayin “see you on the other side”.

Then he gets close to the road where Jazz soon appears, then he seales all his memories completely. The reboot happens and he falls on the ground, where next moment he’s being found by Jazz. 

The rest of the story everyone knows.

Bumblebee gives free minutes for everyone to process the whole thing. It explained a lot of things: his reboots, his ability to sense sparks, that husk’s creation,  pretty much everything.

So he’s being bombarded with questions, one of them was about what Shockwave did. Interestingly enough Bee never told Blade what exactly the mad scientist did. Bee tried to answer, but turned out he just cannot say this out of loud, that’s how terrible it was. Seeing the pained expression on Bumblebee’s face, everyone quickly moved on to different questions. 

Another question was about Primus, because Bee made it sound like Primus was just one of many beings like him. Bumblebee reveals that in fact, Earth is also giant like Primus, and unlike his creator, she can communicate with Bee during the recharge. 

So she’s asleep, but can talk to Bee when he’s asleep too. In fact he made a lot of attempts to connect, but because the AllSpark was sealed under shell, Bee could not hear her clearly. Until now.

She was asking if he can resurrect her two companions, who turned out to be Venus and Mars -  two other giants that came to this system with her. Something went wrong when both transformed to planets that caused their deaths, rendering planets unsuitable to life. 

Sadly, Bumblebee can only create or kill, he cannot bring the dead back. Once spark crosses the dimension and appears in the Well of All Sparks, it gets cleaned. It's a point of no return and the only direction for spark to go is forward -  to it's new life.

After the meeting is over, Bee turns to Laserbeak, making sure that all this information was received by Soundwave, which she confirms. Now they can only hope for better, that this is gonna be enough to stop Megaton from his fruitless conquest.

Then he goes on another walk around the forest, thinking about his past, present and future. Despite everything, he’s glad he lived to this point. He has what he always wanted( aka companionship) and now there is a chance for everyone to thrive once again, along with humans.

The final stretch.

Of course, nothing can be that easy. 

Soon after the big reveal, the entire Soundwave cassette horde( aka even those who were in stasis since the beginning of the war) arrives at the Ark’s entrance. They look terrified and begging for help. When asked what happened, Ravage told Bee that Megatron didn't take the news well when Soundwave presented that entire conversation to Decepticons.

Soundwave tried to reason with his leader, but Megatron got mad and hurt Soundwave, then he was going to hurt the cassettes as punishment, which resulted in fight and Soundwave ejecting every single one and telling them to run.

So they ran and came here, begging to save Soundwave.

This makes Bumblebee energon boil in his tubes, he’s almost jumped into his husk body to just run and tear Megatron apart, but he managed to calm himself. Optimus decided to go and deal with Megatron himself, and Bee tags along. 

When they meet again with Megatron near Nemesis again, first Optimus demands to release Soundwave. Somehow they convince him to do so, and Autobots take him to Ark for repair and reunite him with cassettes.

Meanwhile Megatron demands Bumblebee to fix Cynertron, which turns into a heated argument, because there is literally nothing to fix. Bee cannot just magically undo all the damage. 

In the end Bumblebee snaps, and just decides to do what he really, really didn't want to do -  he wants to open the space bridge and show Megatron what is happening on Cybertron. If this won't help, he doesn't know what can. 

Bumblebee warns that they might not get out alive, but Megatron agrees anyway, believing that minibot still can fix their home planet. Optimus Prime also joins, refusing to leave Bumblebee alone with Megatron.

They arrive at the Chamber of Creation and look outside ( as they are on top floor). The Spire is the only building that is still sanding, meanwhile anything else lay in ruins. Megatron is confused, he doesn't remember leaving Cynertron in such a terrible state.

Bumblebee asks them if they can see those drones. They cannot, asking what drones. He sighs, understanding they have to go to ground level and that's actually scary.  Still, he activated the elevator and they went down.

At entrance they stop and now they see - countless tiny drones consuming metal, then multiplying. And their hunger knows no bounds. 

Bumblebee reveals that those “Scraplets” were created by Shockwave in order to cause chaos among Autobots. But they didn't work as he intended he just threw them away. They landed near Cyberton’s core, which activated them...and they began to consume everything in sight. When Scaplets got to Cybertron lavras ( it’s like the immune system of the planet) and Bee felt their deaths, he knew the time was up and they needed to run.

Now it made sense why Bumblebee killed this mad scientist in the first place.

Megatron asks if Bumblebee can kill them, but Bee says he can only kill living beings,while those things are just sparkless drones and they will devour him quickly.

After a minute, Megatron sighs in defeat, telling Bumblebee he can take them back to Earth.

He nods and about to open a portal...then suddenly his spark is acting up again, sending a huge power surge around him. Once again he is forced into rebooting before he can open a portal.

This caught the attention of scraplets and they charged at bost. Optimus grabs Bee, and both he and Megatron start running. First they tried to make it to the elevator, but it was already being chewed.

So they were forced to take stairs. So Optimus carrying Bee, and dragging Megatron with him, Megatron is shooting from his fusion cannot, breaking shit to slow down scraplets. 

When they reach the top floor, they have nowhere to run. Megatrons asks how soon Bee will be back online, which according to Optimus’s chronometers is 3 more minutes. Megatron feels that they don't have it and suddenly the entire building is rumbling.

Because it’s being eaten, it starts falling, while scraplets are seeping inside the chamber. Two bots look at each other, and do the leap of faith ( while holding onto each other and Bumblebee of course). Just before they hit infested ground, Bee suddenly wakes up and he opens a portal. All three fall into it and are transported back to Earth.

Panicked they look around for scraplets that could be transported with them, but thankfully there was none. They are safe.

Optimus is surprised that Bee woke up earlier, and the minibot himself is surprised as well. Though he quickly realised it’s because of his plants symbiont + new shell combinations - his system still gets overwhelmed, but not as drastically as before, allowing his system to recover quicker.

After this, Megatron allows Autobots to leave in peace, while he still needs to process everything he saw.

Later ( with Optimus help) he declares that war is over and that Earth is their new home, which was surprisingly received well by other Decepticons ( he told them what he saw).

Finally Bumblebee can sigh in relief, finally they can have a bright future ahead of them and  he’s looking forward to it.

Trivia( aka random stuff I didn't know where to fit).

Cybertronians can breathe and it’s part of their air cooling system, as such a process allows them to quickly inhale cooler air and exhale hot air. When calm they don't actually breathe, but as soon they are scared/excited/in a fight - they start doing this;

They can also cry, and it’s also part of the cooling system. Processors and spark chambers tend to be heated more than anything and require cooling by liquid nitrogen. When strong emotional responses happen, heating goes off the charts, and because optics are so close to the head processor - there is a risk of melting them. So the liquid nitrogen gets pumped to optics as well, and because this liquid has a low boiling point - those tears take a form of gas, seeping through the space between optic and face. Older bots don't cry much because they kinda get used to horrors of the war, while younger like Bee are actually more emotional and showing it often. Even after restoring his memories fully, he’s still emotion as hell;

Bumblebee is sleepwalking sometimes, and if he sees another person he starts whispering “Can you see me?” over and over until he gets the “right” reasons which is “Yes, I can see you, Bumblebee”. After this he falls back to recharge. That scared a lot of Autobots first, they discovered the right answer when Optimus replied, thanks to his tendency to give full and polite answers. This happens because of trauma when Bee lost his body and became “non-existent” to anyone;

He used to terrify Decepticons when he infiltrated their bases  to the point they thought that Bee was some sort of Autobot vengeful spirit that came to hunt them. Bumblebee used his abilities to avoid his enemies, while toying with them, like lingering at the corners of their optics before disappearing and even whispering”Can you see me?” right into their audio sensors.);

When Decepticosn arrived on Earth, Bumblebee was an anxious mess, he was afraid that Earth might die just like Cybertron did. To give himself hope and a way of coping, he remembered the legend that if you fold 1000 origami cranes, your wish will come true. He made the first crane soon after Decepticon’s arrival, and the last right before he received his last AllSpark shard. Now those cranes are everywhere on the Ark;

Spike visits Detroit at some point, but I haven't decided when. Probably when the AllSpark shattered, so he helped to restore it too;

Bumblebee has two strong phobias: 

Athazagoraphobia. The fear of being forgotten, ignored, or abandoned; 

Monophobia. The fear of being alone for a long time;

In future, humans figured out the way to transport their mind into their spark and then transport that spark into techno-organic bodies which ultimately extends their lifespan.

Sari was one of first humans doing this, not wanting to leave Bumblebee and Windblade;

Spike, on the other hand, decided to die of old age because he felt like he did everything he wanted and his journey reached his end. Bee was really upset about this, but let Spike go. Spike spent his last moments with Bee.

Also in the future, Bumblebee’s body gets an upgrade, restoring his original form alt-form (6 legged dragon), though it’s smaller than before, Bee used to be small and finally comfortable with this. He will also be in charge of creating new cybertronians and terraforming new planets;

This is how Bumblebee used to look like;

Here’s the statue that was discovered, that Optimus and Megatron saw before.

[rosy-cheekx]

“You’re such a dork.” for the emotional writing prompts! I don't know anything about critical role, really, so for TMA :)

I spy, with my little eye, Bryce’s attempts to shove her own interests into her fics. Anyways, I am an American in college so I was basing this on my own experiences oops. Enjoy!

Date night was Wednesday evenings. Jon and Martin both found it preferable for a variety of reasons; it was the most likely nights for happy hours at the pubs in town, guaranteeing a cheap drink, and keeping to a weekday night minimized the chance of Jon seeing one of his students out. He hated seeing his students. Not that he hated them of course, he really rather liked them…not that they would ever know that. Being a professor, of parapsychology of all things, was rather rewarding. He knew the content inside and out (it felt good, using the mark of The Eye to actively work against it, to pass along information instead of consuming). And they didn’t seem to mind him either.

That was the thing about university students. They really didn’t care about who he was or where he came from. The fact that he was a scrawny, scarred Englishman in a lecture hall in Scotland didn’t matter to them. In the classroom, all they cared was whether he taught the material well (he did) and was kind to those with late assignments (he was. He had been a university student once too; he remembered the anxiety and depression that took him and his mates in waves). He was a good professor; Jon knew that objectively in the marks his students received. But in the subjective? His student had decided they liked him.

This had dawned on him at the end of his first semester; when he was inundated with emails of sincere thank-you for a great semester, for being such a helpful teacher, for taking the time to help review, et cetera. Martin had grinned at him, poking a tongue out his mouth and making some remark about teacher’s pets coming full circle (Jon was never a teacher’s pet though. He had always asked too many questions. He welcomed those questions with open arms now, to be the teacher he hadn’t had.)

The next semester it had been more obvious that students liked him now that he knew where to look. It was in the open “good-mornings” and questions about his weekend plans, and in the fact that he had the best attendance records of his department. It was in the way they asked genuine questions about his material and the waitlists miles long to get into his sections. Later on, it was in the gentle ribbings about his looking tired and the grey hairs even as they celebrated his fortieth birthday with him, bringing in cupcakes and sneaking in between lectures to decorate his office and the sincere questions over his scars, his life, his relationship with Martin (his introductory lecture always featured Martin and Her Regency, their thick orange tabby). To make eight wonderful semesters short, he was familiar with his students, and they weren’t afraid to be familiar back. Which was wonderful in the classroom and all, but not when he was trying have a relaxing evening with his husband.

Which brings them back to Wednesdays. Wednesdays were the days least likely to have students out in town, he had learned from Dr. Kerrigan, the positive psych professor, because Thirsty Thursdays started off the weekend’s partying and drinking for the undergraduates. Wednesday was the day students, in theory, buckled down to finish homework and give themselves a free weekend.

So here they were, Martin in a collared shirt, printed with tiny flowers, and jeans, hair bleached white from the Lonely and curling softly at his temples; Jon in a slouchy ribbed turtleneck and high-waisted pants, his own thick curls half-piled atop his head. Jon was listening intently as Martin spoke animatedly, talking about his own day as a guidance counselor at the local primary school.

“…and I swear Jon, if it wasn’t bad enough that Kimmy has decided never to speak to Lawrence again, now Lawrence has confided in me that he is positively in love with her.”

“Did he say that verbatim? In love, I mean.”

“I mean, no, but he said he was willing to give her all his Squishmallows for a playdate. Squishmallows. That’s real eight-year-old commitment, right there.”

Jon barked out a laugh and put on a puppy-eyed expression, grinning all the while. “Martin Blackwood, do you hereby take Jonathan Sim’s stuffed animals, to have and to ho-”

A gentle swat to the knee with Martin’s shoe cut Jon off. “Oi! Respect my children. They may be fools but its not their faults their brains aren’t developed yet. And yes, I know, ‘they’re not developed ‘til twenty-five and you can argue that your students’ brains aren’t developed either.’ But it’s different. They’re babies.”

“And I’m the All-Knowing One,” Jon mused thoughtfully around a forkful of food, earning him another love-filled kick.

“Speaking of,” Martin pointed to Jon with his glass, eyeing him deliberately. “Midterms next week, yeah? How do you think it’ll go?”

Jon shrugged, scratching at the back of his neck. “Alright, I hope. First exam went well but could’ve been better. I’m worried about Avonni, honestly, he’s nodded off a few times in class and I’m not confident he has someone to get the material from.”

“He has you.” A pointed, snow-white eyebrow.

“Right, but sometimes students don’t want to ask for notes because they think I’ll say no. Maybe I should email him. Speaking of email! Did I tell you what Suzanne sent out?”

“Oh no, what?”

They carried on like this through their meal and into dessert, and not for the first time Jon was struck by the sheer normalcy of it all. His greatest concerns were Suzanne’s passive-aggressive emails and his students, not the inevitable destruction of reality as they knew it to be. They were scarred, inside and out, everyone who had escaped The Magnus Institute was, but they were safe and free and happy. In defiance of everything that had happened to and because of them.

“Dr. Sims!”

Uh oh. Spoke too soon.

Bite of lava cake halfway to his mouth, Jon squeezed his eyes shut, rolling his eyes back in his head and willing there to be another professor with the surname Sims in the restaurant. When he opened his eyes, Martin was valiantly trying to suppress a smile as he eyed something, someone, over his head. Jon twisted awkwardly in his seat to see—

“Parker. What a surprise.” His voice was warm but carefully measured, and the dark-skinned boy waved, shit-eating grin on his face. “I have told you that you can call me Jon.”

“Yeah, I know, but you earned that doctorate! And “Doctor Jon” sounds awful, like you should have your own show or something.”

He hadn’t earned that doctorate, actually, but Martin’s expertise in lying and the disastrous apocalypse that had left everyone disoriented meant it had been easy to exaggerate some of Jon’s CV and manufacture a fake diploma.

“I do have my own show. Monday and Wednesday mornings, where I teach a bunch of caffeinated undergrads parapsychology,” Jon replied easily. “You’re welcome to tune in.” He liked Parker; he was a bit of a class clown, liked to ask off-topic questions or pretend to sneak a look at Jon’s answer sheets, but he was sharp and knew his stuff. Jon respected that. He reminded Jon of someone he dearly missed.

But Parker had already turned his attention to Martin, who was watching the interaction with mirth in his eyes. “Hello sir! I’m Parker McMichael, Jon’s favorite student.” Martin shook the extended hand and nodded in mock seriousness.

“Of course. Pleasure to finally meet you. Are you the one with the essay on ESP or the one on psychokinesis?”

“Neither,” Parker shook his head proudly, short dreads swaying gently with the movement. “The Validity and Continuity of Near-Death Experiences,” he made a mock marquee with his hands, arching curved fingers to indicate the title hanging in the air. “Researching any consistencies in near-death experiences stories, whether they’re legitimate, and what they mean if they are. But-” Parker shook his head and turned his attention back to Jon. “That’s not why I’m interrupting.” He took his phone out of pocket idly as he spoke. “I’m afraid I’ve come to settle a dispute among the 11 a.m. section.”

Oh no.

The Ceaseless Watcher whispered to him, unbidden, the dispute in question. Jon generally knew how to suppress the powers, and they were weaker than they had been, once upon a time, but when he’s caught off guard with the desire to know, to Know, it could still overtake him.

“This you?” A blurry screenshot of a Youtube video is shoved under his nose, a part of a text chain titled Sim’s Spoopy Spirits, captioned by many text bubbles expressing disbelief and objections and a variety of emojis. Jon took the phone and examined it, the truth already sure in his chest. Yes, that was him, dressed in his Jonny d’Ville costume, eyeliner streaked and eyes closed, mid-ballad. God, he wished he could be rid of those Youtube videos.

Jon’s gaping silence must have been enough of an answer for Parker because he whooped a little too loudly for the restaurant they were in and pumped his fist to his chest before typing very quickly on his phone. “I knew it! Take that Sabina,” he was mumbling to himself, lost in his texts for a moment.

Martin took the opportunity to clear his throat. “Sorry, uh, no one’s asked so I will. How did you know to look for him-us-here?” Jon frowned, He hadn’t thought about that.

“Oh, a couple of my mates work here and mentioned seeing Dr. Sims and his husband here a lot on Wednesdays and I dunno about you so much, but Dr. Sims is pretty habitual. Figured it was as good a guess as any. Some things can’t wait til Monday.”

“..an email. Parker. You could’ve sent me an email.” Fingers ran over scarred face, as if he could wipe the irritation (and Martin’s poorly-hidden laugh) from existence.

“But then I couldn’t do this.” His phone was back up again, level with his own face and he twisted so both his own and Jon’s faces were in the shot. “I’m here at 7:02 pm on Wednesday the 26, here to make a very important announcement,” Parker spoke to the camera with confidence. “Dr. Sims just confirmed to me that he is the one, the only, Jonny d’Ville.” Parker held the camera to Jon’s voice. “Anything to say to your adoring fans?”

Jon sighed and tugged on an errant curl. “Don’t forget, reading due Monday.” He wasn’t genuinely upset with Parker, just filled with fond embarrassment.

Parker sent the video off and clapped the back of Jon’s chair. “Well, Dr. D’Ville, its been a pleasure. Everyone’s really excited to get a confirmation on your status of coolest teacher. Any plans for the evening?”

Jon sighed through his lower lip, stray curls framing his scalp flying upward in the sudden burst of wind. “Watching a documentary and trying to forget—wait. What?”

“Oh yeah no, everyone thinks it’s badass. You’ve got a super nice voice and the stories you told were really interesting, if a little buckwild.”

Jon felt his cheeks flush and Martin grinned slyly at him from across the table. “Y-Yes. I guess we were rather good.”

Parker gave his farewells and Jon’s shoulders sagged (he had immediately righted his posture on seeing Parker, his grandmother’s voice in his ear reminding him of his manners), turning his full attention back to his husband. Martin had maintained that grin and was eyeing him intensely, like he expected Jon to say something.

“What, Martin?”

“God, you’re such a dork.” The words were soft, expression fond, and Jon could feel the radiation of unadulterated love Martin gave off in his smile, the one only ever used for Jon. “You really love your students, don’t you? You know how much they love you, right?”

Jon grumbled, but he couldn’t quite sweep the smile off his face either as their waiter made his way over with their check.

“No comment. But we are switching to Tuesday date nights.”

[curechocolattymilk]

TES V OC Thingie

[Got tagged by @jessaryss​ ! ]

Pause your game! Wherever your OC is in their game currently, tell me about their story so far.

✧✧✧ General

Current Level: 56

Name: Jeer-Tei Perdes

Name Meaning: Literally got it from a name generator lol. But lore wise it was a name gifted to them in honor of an Argonian who served beside Tei’s mother during the Great War

Pronouns: They/Them

Age: Early 30s where they are story wise???

Race(s): Argonian

Place of Origin: Hammerfell

Pick A Theme Song For Them: oof that's tough... From a Crowded Wound or maybe even Firstwake? If you really played around w personal interpretation/the lyrics that is haha

✧✧✧ Locations

Where Did You Begin Their Game?: Argonian Assemblage, Windhelm (Alternative Start)

Where Are They Currently In Your Game?: Whiterun

What Are They Doing There?: Just finished attending a party held in their honor (Post Blood of Kings)

Homes?: Breezehome, Proudspire, Lakeview & Autmnwatch

# of Locations Discovered?: 274

Dungeons Cleared: 104

Misc. Quests Completed: 87

Favorite Areas and/or Locations: Falkreath / Lakewview Manor. Both areas are where Tei heads off to in order to collect their thoughts/feel some sense of calm.

✧✧✧ Main Quest

Are They Dragonborn / Do They Know It At This Point?: Yes & yes

How Do They Feel About Being Dragonborn: It's...complicated, being thrust into the role of savior by gods of the Cult, which in turn are followed by the folk who see you lesser than them. Tei already has a dislike towards the Divines, this doesn't really help lol

Main Quests Completed: 21

Where Are They In The Main Story Line: Alduin's dead, currently trying to ignore the Civil War as long as they can before the Empire forces its hand into forcing them to join their ranks

Dragon Souls Absorbed: In total overall? 147. The amount currently stored in Tei? 45

Words of Power Learned: 64

Shouts Mastered: 21

Favorite Shout: Firebreath / Dragonrend

✧✧✧ Combat

Most Used Weapon(s): Daedric war axe OR Dragonbone battle axe. Tei technically has both on them at all times during adventuring, alongside a shield, so which they used depends on the situation/which they grab fastest.

Combat Style: Two/One-handed tank. Main tactic is to rush in, cause as much damage/chaos as possible to shake up the opponent, & clean up what the ranged attackers of the party (usually Rumarin, Inigo and/or Lucien) weren't able to deal with.

Armor Type / Level In It: HEAVY ARMOR BABYYYYY (Level 100 + 35 extra points via enchantments)

# of Training Sessions: 99 in-game, lore wise its a lot of self-teaching/keeping their skills learned from Hammerfell sharp. Some of these are magic but lore-wise this doesn't happen cus Tei is not a magic user, save for shouts. I just did those in-game for exp OR so I can help Lucien raise his magic skills :'D

Who Taught Them?: In-game?? Fuuuck so many npcs. Lore-wise? They learned this from their schooling in Hammerfell, going off the canon-lore that it's p much expected for everyone to have a grasp on combat & weaponry! Though they did learn a few things from Kaidan & Anum-La.

Favorite Enemy Type: Dragons! Despite the fact Tei does not have the best magic resistance, it's one hell of a challenge they love to meet.

Least Favorite Enemy Type: Automatons, because of a bad experience with them as a child. Also Undead, because they were raised not to disturb them & it just feels so wrong having to fight them/go into tombs.

People Killed: 945

Animals Killed: 749 (Hunterborn makes hunting fun lol)

Undead Killed: 766

Automatons Killed: 105

Daedra Killed: 136

✧✧✧ Magic

Favorite School(s): None, actually. Destruction is okay though....they guess

Most Used Spell(s): Firebreath or Dragon Aspect. Tei doesn't consider shouts spells though. It's totally different guys shut up they ain't no smelly mage gods

Spells Learned: 9 in-game, mainly due to the spells you're kinda forced to learn for some quests/the ones you automatically know

Items Enchanted: 19 (Tei technically doesn't enchant, and wont next playthrough for sure I wont give in this time >:[ )

College of Winterhold Quests Completed: 8

Where Are They At In The Questline?: Main quest is done bcus i dont like seeing unfinished quests in my journal lmao. Tei's involvement is completely different from canon though in my take. Moreso was hired as a guard for the expedition & was, unwillingly, dragged into the rest of the mess. Is not offered the Archmage position, that went straight to Tolfdir.

Opinions on Magical Guilds (Arcane University, Winterhold, Psijics, Synod, Radiant Dark, etc.): As they get older, they tolerate the guild & magic users more n more, BUT, Tei grew up in an environment that frowns upon the practice of magic, & it shows. They mainly mistrust necromancers/illusionists & still hold onto that belief that reliance on magic, especially for combat, is a weakness.

Bold words for someone with shit magic resistance.

✧✧✧ Crime

Current Gold: 10,640

How Did They Acquire Their Gold?: Odd jobs, selling a lot of the items they made/harvested from smithing & hunting (jewelers are their go-to hirers bcus Tei is great at getting things like ivory), Dwemer ruin diving (they refuse to loot the tombs), also yknow....being part of the Dark Brotherhood helps

Largest Bounty On Their Head: 11,240

For...?: Unfortunately they did not stand down when they were being falsely accused of murder in Markarth. First time Tei called down dragons (Sahrotaar, specifically, Tei managed to get command of Miraak's dragons post-Dragonborn) to absolutely smite some fools.

Current Bounty: None! They're good at not getting caught/threatening and/or bribing guards. :)

Locks Picked: 15 i think?

Jail Time: 1, Cidhna Mine

Jail Escapes: 1, teamed up w the Forsworn lol

Murders: 28

Assaults: 307....In their defense people keep getting in their way during dragon attacks

Items Stolen: 37, most of them from the nobles of Windhelm

Thieves Guild Quests Completed: N/A (wont be doing this storyline unless i cant find a mod that'll let me get the shouts locked behind it)

Dark Brotherhood Quests Completed: 20

Where Are They At In Those Questlines?: DB is completed main arc wise!

✧✧✧ Relationships

Relationship Status: Married to two lovely fellas

Current Companions: atm? none

Housecarls: Lydia & Rayya

Friends (outside of party): Zora Fair-Child, Inigo, Lucien, Anum-La, Morndas, Aela the Huntress, Nazir, Babette, Scouts-Many-Marshes, Isobel, Madesi

Children: Khash, Chases-Starlight, Ram-Ku. (going of where Tei is now - Otero & Mei come around later on in Tei's story!)

Romantic Interest(s): Kaidan & Rumarin.

Sexual Orientation:

GAY

✧✧✧ Religion

Pantheon: Yokudan, with a hint of Hircine worship in there

Patron Deity(ies): From the Yokudan pantheon: Tei mainly views HoonDing as their main patron, but also prays to/pays respect to Satakal.

They are also Hircine's champion.

Daedric Quests Completed: 3 (Hircine, Vile, Dagon - the last Tei didn't really help, moreso pissed off)

Aedric Quests Completed: 1 if you count the whole Alduin thing I guess?

How Devout Are They?: Tei is rather devout, esp to their Yokudan patrons, praying or making offerings daily. They aren't the type to really push it in your face though, but have no issues answering questions one might have.

How Do They Feel About Talos Worship?: Deep down they acknowledge & admit trying to ban worship is terrible, but....Tei also lets their bias/experience with Windhelm, the Stormcloaks & especially Ulfric kinda cloud over this. If the Nords want their old ways so damn much, why fight for a divine from the Imperial Cult? Why not go back to the actual old ways? No, this isn't about worship, not to the men leading this so-called rebellion, they just needed something other than their racist bullshit to fool the common man into throwing their lives away for the nobles sitting comfortable in their thrones.

Also during their whole thing of getting into their role of dragonborn, they get a bonus 'fuck this dude actually' towards Talos, Ysmir, whatever the fuck he calls himself. (tldr; it sucks but good luck hearing Tei say that fully)

✧✧✧ Politics

Gray-Mane or Battle-Born?: Neither, ask them again they will punch you for the love of Ruptga they get asked that every time they enter Whiterun.

Stormcloaks or Imperials?: Also neither, Tei hates em both n think they can all choke. Unfortunately they were forced to join the latter due to, yknow, calling dragons & causing massive damage in Imperial territories during isolated fits of rage and the group being more aggressive in wanting something in return for "letting it slide"....oops

Opinion on the Thalmor?: Oh absolutely despises them, they loudly complained having to work with them during the CW & would go out their way to disrupt their plans/piss them off. Sneaking was an option they did not take during the Embassy quest, if it helps paint the picture.

Opinion Of Ulfric Stormcloak?: Tei doens't say they hate people often...but they sure as hell hate Ulfric. Again, their experience in Windhelm added to this heavily, how both the Dunmer & Argonians were treated like shit, with no help whatsoever from the Jarl or guards when the local Nords targeted them. It's still up in the air if I keep this for Tei's story, but I have it where they knew Chases-Starlight's parents, who were killed. When Tei went up & demanded justice/an investigation, only to be brushed off because it "wasn't a priority," it completely destroyed what little empathy or hope they had left for Windhelm as a whole.

Opinion of The Empire?: Cowards too weak to continue fighting back against the Thalmor, in their opinion, & holds these views they grew up with even when being strong-armed into aiding them. If anything they're at least attempting to use their influence to hint towards a rebellion against the Thalmor, but the Empire could also full-on dissolve & they could give less of a shit.

Civil War Quests Completed: 0

✧✧✧ Personal

How Are They Doing? Need Some Juice? A Nap? A Hug?: The whole event of Blood of Kings has fucked with their head, to say the least. It's the starting point of Tei's eventual spiral. So uh...yeah they're not sure how they're doing everything they knew about reality was kinda challenged & they don't rlly have anyone to talk to about it so its cool, its fine, its all good.

A nap is probably needed, not sure about a hug theough they're super flinchy rn

Days Past In Game: 196

Hours of Sleep: 846

Food Items Consumed: 1833

How Many Playthroughs Have You Done With This Character: Tei actually is an older character from the 360 days so uh...maybe 5 at most? This playthrough & their S:EC one coming up when the mod releases being the main ones focusing on their story

Overall How's Your Level Of Fun: Alright I would say! I just been stepping away from Skyrim more often lately to avoid burning out from it

Must Have Mods To Play This Character (for story or other reasons): Ordinator, Wintersun Faiths, Immersive Armors, Sarcastic Player Dialogue, 3DNPC, Inigo, Lucien Flavius, Kaidan 2, Khash the Argonian, Alternative Start, Leviathan Animations, Beast Race Body Paints, Beast HHBB, Apocalypse Magic, Deadly Dragons, Growl: Werewolf Overhaul, Pronouns, uhhh....idk what else without actually listing my current modlist lmao

----

And that's it for Tei! Anyone who wants to do this go on ahead!

[mira--mira]

One obvious for the ask game. The main protagonist; Naruto Uzumaki and Izuku Midoriya.

@shiryusamarkanda it’s so nice to hear from you again! <3 

I totally didn’t forget to post this and had it fully finished in my drafts for days...totally. 

Naruto

What I love about them:

Naruto's a bratty kid who’s not afraid to speak up and challenge something he thinks is "wrong". This, of course, is part 1 Naruto. I actually like when he's a bit insensitive without being explicitly malicious bc its very fitting for his background/how he grew up but also gives him a clear path forward as he learns how to work as a team/starts to grow. It wasn’t exactly a smart move, but I really liked how he continued to challenge Zabuza in the Wave Arc saying “he’s still my enemy” after Kakashi told him to back off. This is all good and strong characterization that, to me, was more often endearing than it wasn’t. Naruto had goals and a purpose and in early Naruto that was still clear.

What I hate about them:

Part 2 (Shippuden) Naruto. There’s a lot that goes into this but the core deviation is getting away from the underdog story. In Shippuden Naruto is the son of the 4th, the Child of Prophecy, a reincarnation of the Sage of Six Path’s kid, makes friends with Kurama, and has the most OP power of the them all: Talk no Jutsu. What makes all of this even worse is Naruto went from a loveable bratty kid to an insufferable messiah figure. To be “perfect” his natural personality is shorn down until he’s only allowed occasional “stupid” mistakes rather than mistakes that emerge from his characterization. This also makes his ideological “wins” with villains...completely meaningless. Shippuden Naruto doesn’t really...have beliefs. He wants to be hokage and bring Sasuke back to the village. “Being hokage” was fine as a kid but I expected the progression into shippuden to be “what kind of hokage do I want to be?” This seemed natural bc we get in the Wave arc Naruto pushing against “what a shinobi is supposed to be: a tool” from Haku and declaring he’d make his own ninja way. Flashforward to the chunin arcs: hates Orochimaru for messing with Sasuke (esp when he eventually leaves to join him) and Neji for treating Hinata the way he did until he learned more about the Hyuga before declaring it wasn’t fair and you had to fight against fate and destiny. Tsunade’s arc was more about reemphasizing the village was something worth protecting and the Sasuke retrieval arc, while focused on Sasuke, at least kept up this theme. But these moments of growth are only alluded to in shippuden and by the time the war arc and ending come around...nothing changes. Naruto didn’t upset the status quo, he only maintained it. And once that ending was established it was a lot easier to go back and pick out exactly when his characterization started to fall through and the weird messiah figure took over instead. Part of this, imo, is the focus of his ultimate goal being “bring Sasuke back to the village” rather than understand what Sasuke is doing/why he’s doing it and then deciding to help him or stop him. 

Favorite Moment/Quote:

“You’re cute when you’re chubby” [in reference to the frog purse] 

I really love the quiet moments Naruto has and watching him live out his daily life. The frog purse is absolutely adorable and I love seeing it crop up time and time again. A close second is when Gai kicks Jiraiya in the face and, a short time later, offers Naruto the green tracksuit which he’s appreciative of. 

What I would like to see more focus on:

In Part 2 Naruto having a long-term goal alongside bringing Sasuke back to the village or trying to seriously think about why Sasuke does what he does and how that would potentially affect the plot. If I could go back to the very start, keeping the actual heart and intent of an underdog ninja story rather than everything turning into superpowered mecha/kaiju battles and aliens from space this is the big point that I’d want to address. In general, I really like fics that focus on training and give him a range of jutsu besides spamming shadow clones and rasengan variants. I’ve said this before, but if Naruto really wants to keep the “number 1 unpredictable ninja” moniker, learning a variety of small, diverse jutsu and using them in interesting/creative ways would be the way to go rather than spamming the aforementioned two. I also really like fics that buckle down and just go ham and create their own variety of jutsu, especially if it’s small practical jutsu rather than the latest and greatest OP Power #839281 kind of jutsu. 

What I would like to see less focus on:

The messiah figure. Talk no Jutsu. The obsession with having a morally pure hero in a world that routinely employed child soldiers and put them in war. I understand Naruto was a shonen manga first and foremost but like...this was the setting/world Kishimoto decided on having. However, I will say some fics take it to far on the other extreme for my taste, creating a edgy nihilistic Naruto that hates everyone and everything. 

Favorite pairing with:

Uhh...I don’t actually have a strong feeling for this one LOL. The most I’ve read has been SasuNaru (Sasuke x Naruto) because I’ve found really interesting set-ups. I like the ship and it does have a decent amount of backing in canon but it’s the little moments (or my ability to see possible little moments) that really make or break a ship for me. SasuNaru is all Big Declarations and I struggle to see how they’d actually settle down post Shippuden time into something sustainable. My favorite iterations of the ship is focused when they’re genin age and have a better relationship...but then I recognize that this is getting closer and closer to Hashimada. The other big things I run into with shipping Naruto with Sasuke is 1. Sasuke needs a shit ton of therapy/willingness to process his family related trauma and 2. Naruto needs a good support network/family outside of a romantic partner because it personally makes me uncomfortable to read ‘you’re my one and only’ (here being: I have no other friends, family, loved ones outside of you). It’s a ship that can work but it’s not my personal OTP.  

Favorite friendship:

Canon/OoT - Naruto & Sakura

I do have a softspot for fics where Naruto realizes his crush on Sakura is actually a desire to have friends/someone to care about him and then they do become close. In canon Sasuke was clearly the favorite of Kakashi (if chunin arc is kept the same/similar and he takes him away for the month to train) I really like Naruto and Sakura sticking together and trying to help each other. They’re both loud and can wind each other up but Naruto can help Sakura relax a bit from her rigid view of herself and she can help keep him on track/encourage him. 

NOTP:

Again, no real strong opinions here. Probably harems? I remember seeing a lot of those a couple years ago and I fundamentally dislike the harem so it will never be ‘done well’ to my personal taste. 

Favorite headcanon:

Naruto is smart, he just needs things to be explained in a way he can understand. 

I’m not a fan of ‘he’s the smartest person in the entire world’ trope but Naruto is creative, he created the oiroke jutsu before he graduated to genin and has a lot of stubborn determination. He’s just really bad at typical ‘book learning’ and traditional testing and he’s not a genius/prodigy like Sasuke or Neji.

.

.

Read line for BNHA manga spoilers

Izuku

What I love about them:

He’s such a smart kid and while he’s unsure/insecure about himself he still does his best. Honestly the premise of BNHA is amazing and I was so excited to watch this little quirky (heh) boy do his best and outthink heroes, utilizing his intelligence and knowledge of quirks. I really love early Izuku and how he has to approach situations from a different angle bc he grew up quirkless/can’t properly handle OFA. The sports festival arc remains one of my personal favorites and really showed his ingenuity. I also really love that Izuku is openly emotional, he cries, he gets super happy about things, he’s angry, he’s sad, etc.  

What I hate about them:

Why do stories insist on calling themselves “underdogs” when for a majority of the time, they’re not? Or not as much as they would be from the original premise? Look, TDP came about exactly bc BNHA was billed as ‘quirkless boy becomes number 1 hero’ it changed rapidly into ‘Izuku gets the strongest quirk but can’t control it’ and while I was...disappointed with that, it happened so quickly I wasn’t really upset. Fast forward to apparently OFA has...what seven(?) quirks inside it and I just...it’s frustrating. Even more the longer we go the more Izuku strays away from a character that is forced to use his intelligence and creatively outthink his opponents and instead becomes...I just have to hit him harder! The Muscular fight already inched towards this but the Overhaul fight just felt like Super Shonen Smack-down 728329. Which, isn’t an inherent problem, it just doesn’t match up to the expectations I had about BNHA I had at the start and how I hoped the series would go. For a character trait that I hate: Izuku is stupidly self-sacrificing. It makes sense with his character but he shoots beyond what is safe and reasonable and I wish there would be more internal emphasis on the question “is it better to save one person today if it meant I couldn’t save ten people tomorrow?” I think he’d choose the former or forsake the question altogether (we touched briefly on this during the overhaul arc with Eri) but I think it’s a serious question needs to be touched on (or I just need to go back and rewatch things again LOL) 

Favorite Moment/Quote:

See entire sports festival arc. I don’t really have a favorite moment because I love the entire arc and we get so much out of it. 

What I would like to see more focus on:

Quirkless Izuku. There’s already a lot of fics, but I really do love them. It deviates a bit, but I do like the creativity of giving Izuku his own unique quirk and then exploring what he can do with that/how it changes canon. Really I want Izuku to keep his original characterization and not trade his smarts for more punching power or deus ex machinas for quirks hidden inside of OFA. If OFA!Izuku is kept, I like story ideas where he still has to rely on means outside of his quirk. Preferably this is isn’t because he injuries himself so much, but I like toying with the idea that Izuku never gets OFA to All Might’s level so he really does have to make the quirk his own and still rely heavily on his intelligence and quirk journals to become the number 1. 

What I would like to see less focus on:

Quirks hidden inside OFA. Strength should have been enough, it was already billed as the most powerful quirk of all. I know this is a common theme for shonen stories, and I don’t mean to harp specifically on Izuku, but again the premise of BNHA was an underdog story. 

Favorite pairing with:

Tododeku (Todoroki Shouto x Midoriya Izuku) 

Friends to lover and battle couples lads, I am weak to them. I like the contrast between their personalities as well as origins (Shouto being the number 2′s (now 1) kid and Izuku from a quiet civilian background). At the end of the sports festival arc both of them are extremely well characterized and it’s easy for me to imagine how their relationship progresses from there and how they can support each other and help each other grow. It’s a very sweet and wholesome ship the way I write and read it and it’s v cute.

Favorite friendship:

Canon- Midoriya Izuku & Uraraka Ochaco & Iida Tenya

I really like the core trio and think their interactions are really sweet. They balance each other out well and their friendship was immediately believable to me. I also like later when Tsuyu and Shouto start to get included in the group and out of the “main” core friends I’m endlessly entertained whenever Izuku and Tokoyami interact with one another. (This is also because I love my bird son, but you know.)

TDP - Midoriya Izuku & Ashido Mina or Midoriya Izuku & Hatsume Mei

Really, I love all of TDP’s kiddos interactions. Their chemistry is one of my favorite things about the fic and all the villain school kiddos meshed really well and had hilarious interactions. Mina and Mei are my faves but just barely. Mina came out of left field for the fic but she plays a similar role that Ochaco does in canon as a usual source of positivity (but unlike Ochaco with additional chaos). She’s Izuku’s first real friend even before starting HIVVE and wouldn’t hesitate to call Izuku her cousin as she views him as family. In return, Mina’s someone Izuku can completely count and depend on if necessary. Mei is...Mei. Izuku is her best “useful customer” and it’s actually terrifying how similar their thoughts are, just Mei has an (un)healthy dose of Hazmat’s insanity and her own business acumen added into the mix. They have slightly different fields of interest but are intellectual equals that work well together and that’s something new to both of them.

NOTP:

Bakudeku (Bakugo Katsuki x Midoriya Izuku)

It’s unhealthy. Unless it’s an AU that changes what the start of their relationship is like, Bakugo and Izuku will always have a toxic friendship to me and I can’t ever see them in a healthy relationship. Both of them have a lot to learn and I am of the opinion that Bakugo should get the opportunity to grow and become a good person and leave behind his past as a bully. However, I’m also of the opinion that no matter how good of a person a bully becomes their victim is never required to absolve them of past wrongdoings. Izuku and Bakugo were friends once, their relationship turned toxic, and now it’s in the interest of both of them to grow apart from one another. I even hesitate to really say they’ll be friends again because the early characterization of their relationship was so imbalanced to me, but for the right author and the right work I may see them being on good terms. It’s still a romantic relationship that I dislike. 

Favorite headcanon:

Crack headcanon? Izuku does have a natural quirk, the force of his tears is clearly superpowered 😂 Regular headcanon, (that is canon in TDP and kindaaa in regular canon(?)) when Izuku gets really engrossed in a super stressful fight he focuses on what will work rather than what is moral. It has...mixed results. 

.

For the ask game. 

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

No but something I love is how fucking loyal Miklan really is (in Hopes specifically since we don't have enough information in Houses).

At the camp, he takes his job seriously. Very seriously. He doesn't act begrudging or like he's just doing anything by force. As the chapters go on he not only goes from relatively aloof to a full fledged commander (which is great development in that span of chapters btw considering how fast the story has to progress) and one who fights for Faerghus because he wants to (why would he reassure the player that he's going to, literally, hold down the fort? Why doesn't he flee when his life is in immediate danger despite that Dimtiri prefers his allies to flee and save their lives over sacrificing themselves? Why does he like helping citizens who had their lands destroyed by the war, despite being a bandit who used to plunge towns just like those?).

At any time when the Empire was attacking, he could've surrendered and even joined their side because of not liking Faerghus and its people... if he didn't like Faerghus and its people. Also, someone brought this up to me once that Miklan likely has family in the Empire still, because his mother was from the Empire. He had a perfectly good out that wouldn't even necessarily be considered treason to Faerghus, i.e. surrendering and going to the Empire to protect that side of his family.

He doesn't. He dies for Faerghus. It was both a matter of honor due to the fact that he was finally living the life he always should've been and wanted to be respected for that, and also his loyalty that followed in the past's wrongs being righted. No matter what you think of Miklan post disinheritance, he was the heir who was removed because he didn't have a Crest. All over just that, despite that Sylvain having a Crest never meant they didn't still have someone capable of fighting off Sreng invasions.

They had someone able to wield the Lance of Ruin, so why did it matter if he was officially the heir? Miklan felt like his life was stolen from him (and I'm not saying what he did to Sylvain was okay either). Dimitri gave him all of that back and he started to become loyal to Faerghus and its king because Dimitri was giving the chance even the man's own father never gave him from the moment Sylvain was determined to have a Crest.

What happened in his life before Dimitri had him brought to him as soon as he became king is, in a way, almost like it never happened as far as Miklan's behavior. It was obviously there at first, but over time it's like it never happened. That is, if someone met him and didn't know about his past, by chapter 9 they'd never even know he'd had that history. He was the person he would've been years ago if he hadn't been disinherited, which lead to the mess that led to him being disowned (and he says he just "left", but Matthias doesn't mince facts. At all. If that had been the case he wouldn't just say he disowned him. He would admit Miklan ran away. That means Miklan claims he left as a means of coping and trying to convince other people that it was his choice and not forced on him).

Miklan became a lot more loyal than he's ever given credit for, both in the game and in the fandom. Gwendal did recognize it, but that's about all we're given.

Gwendal corrected himself when Miklan died, referring to him instead as Sir Miklan instead of the insults he was spewing during their fight which were very clearly pissing Miklan off; but Miklan kept fighting and defending the fort, not just because he wanted to prove Gwendal wrong but because he was here because he was pulled out of his life as a bandit. The people he was defending the fort for were the people who effectively gave him his life back.

Basically, he would've been there in that fort defending it anyway if he had lived the life he should have to begin with. If his value was acknowledged all along, he would've been defending the most important fort in Faerghus all along (if this exact scenario occurred and everything was the same except him being disowned in the first place). He would be there being the commander and fighter he was supposed to be.

Mind you, it was the king himself who gave him that chance, meaning the person who reigns over Faerghus and has the most power to change whatever the hell he wants - including how people with Crests and without are treated. Miklan was part of a fight to better their society and be part of the new generation taking over. Nobody could truly change things unless the king - the top power - had the thought to change them (not saying Lambert thought the political climate was good the way it was, but he clearly had other priorities and it didn't seem to be something weighing on his mind. He may not have even truly noticed the problems and power discrepancies because he was so focused on other things).

However, the moment the king thought to change all that old stuff, Miklan was one of the first people who came to mind, and one of the first people he took action regarding, to integrate into his new army (and he even mentioned completely rearranging his army and whatnot, and then we find out he had Miklan located basically right after becoming king. We had a two year timeskip and Miklan had been there for those two years because of how soon after Dimitri was crowned that he had decided to bring Miklan back and give him another chance).

If the king sought to change things and was taking active action to prove it, that was something Miklan could see and realize was actually going to happen. It wasn't a blind trust - he could see Dimitri was actually doing it. He had a reason to be able to trust him with this.

He was also able to trust the people who were watching over him, i.e. the people Dimitri had making sure he didn't revert back to any sort of banditry. Those people could have easily faked it, made up that he did something and that they had killed him on the spot. Dimitri trusted those people not to do that of course, but those people were not told to bring him to Dimitri if he did anything. They were told to apprehend him and kill him immediately (which is reasonable, given what he'd done in the past, and they wouldn't want to try to wait to get Dimitri over to wherever they were. If Miklan escaped in that time, they'd just have a big problem on their hands).

So that is to say, those people could've just faked it at any point and killed him. They didn't. They, like Dimitri, were willing to give him another chance provided he didn't do anything bad.

The same goes for Felix and everyone else who had qualms about him being allowed into their army. Dimitri explicitly stated if anyone had issues with his appointment as a commander to "by all means" kill him themselves. He literally made it an open option for his friends to just up and kill him if they truly couldn't forgive him (which at that point was more reasonable of a time because the war was still new and people didn't know if they could trust him with this specific appointment yet. By later in the story I don't think it would have been as reasonable for someone to try to kill him after he'd already been proving himself).

In other words, nobody did it. Everyone, literally everyone, backed off and respected Dimitri's decision (and technically Sylvain and Matthias' as well). None of those people, even when given open opportunity, turned a weapon on him. Not one. These people all gave him a chance. These are the same people he died fighting for, and for himself to be able to feel like he was fighting and dying for what he would have to begin with if he hadn't been disinherited - Faerghus and its people.

In the end Miklan was in both rank and heart a top ranking commander of Faerghus and he both appreciated it and knew he appreciated it. He was looking forward to the future Dimitri would bring, basically saying that he thinks Dimitri is a fool ("weak-willed") for it but that he now believes in it too. If anyone wants to try arguing those points, I have receipts as the young folk call them, fresh from Miklan himself about his feelings about it as spoken to Catherine and Shamir!

Miklan fought for the future he was hoping to see, and he died protecting that future. Again, not something he by any means whatsoever had to do. He was tasked with guarding the fortress, but was never told to lay down his life defending it. After years and years of being hateful and angry, he finally had some peace of mind and hope for what he could be. He was loyal to Dimitri in the end because Dimitri was loyal to him - that is, he kept his word and Miklan was able to thrive in Dimitri's society without being a bandit or having to worry about his future because of his status.

Like Dimitri said, the only thing holding him down by that point were his past mistakes. It was up to Miklan to do something about that for himself with the opportunity he was given to fix it. Dimitri said here, fix it, and Miklan said okay, and worked to fix it. For me the saddest part is that he didn't even get enough time to properly fix it and be able to be free of his past. He died for Faerghus though, with his dying words being that he was able to buy them time (to arrive and fight back against the attacking Empire). That's not something someone who holds a resentful grudge would say in their last moments. He was grateful he managed to buy the other fighters time, even though it cost him his life.

hopes was a dumpster fire a whole lot of times but its incorporation of miklan into the plot was not one of them. miklan fire emblem my love you will live on in my heart and in my fics. i am also deeply grateful to hopes for uh i guess hopes-canonizing (hopesonizing???) basically every one of my headcanons about him before the game came out.

[murdockquills]

I think I have a pretty different experience with DD comics since Zdarsky's run is the first DD comics I've read consecutively (I read some vol 3 & 4 issues that I got from my library but they weren't in order and I was ver confused and stupid before giving up on comics for like a year lol) and I was real hype because the art is so! pretty!! in the Zdarsky run and it felt really close tonally to the DD show and I really LOVED the whole thing about the citizens dressing up as DD when he hung up the suit, but then I got caught up and I went back and read the Waid run and now that I'm almost done with that and where we are currently with the Zdarsky run... idk :/ the Waid run had so many good, heartfelt and relatable moments and while I'm here for the interesting theological/Catholic stuff in the Zdarsky run it feels like Matt's so much more distant to people compared to how Waid showed Matt's growth by using his developing relationships we the people around him and there's more focus on individual moments than a grand story arc :///

yes !!!!! exactly that! waid’s run has an incredible story arc but it’s entirely character driven and purely about matt and his mental health and his relationships with the people around him; everything else comes and goes and plot lines are short (but they don’t feel short because waid is so. damn. good. at. writing.) he perfectly balances the light and the dark — not once do I feel that matt’s world isn’t deeply disturbing and dangerous, even when that’s not the tone of the entire story. we see all facets of matt, his world, his enemies, his friends, but the overall feeling is that of hope. we see his struggle and we want matt to succeed. we want him to be happy.

zdarsky’s matt? I’m not sure who I’m rooting for, or what I’m rooting for. matt is locked into a loop of wanting to atone for his sins, and perpetually suffering “because” of them. this isn’t a new thing, but I have.... no sense of hope in this run. where is matthew headed? to me, a good story is one that gives you a logical path, instead of striving to constantly surprise you with twists and turns. this run feels like the latter. it feels like it almost wants to make matt the villain in his own story, which.... is not a path I’m particularly fond of.

I’ve read.... practically all of daredevil at this point, save for some of the old old stuff, and.... the fact that I gave up ‘guardian devil’ before finishing it because I vehemently hated it. this is the first run I’ve bought as it comes out instead of TPBs and honestly, more than a couple of times, I’ve thought about stopping, because I’m not sure how worth it it is. I honestly think it’s meant to be geared towards readers who are just picking up daredevil in the wake of the show, like yourself, instead of long-time comic fans. it started not too long after the third season and its cancellation, after all. but I think to say that is even a disservice to the show, because it has far more heart and character-driven focus than this.

and matt’s catholicism? while I like it coming up and posing moral dilemmas or providing spiritual guidance for him, it’s never been as big of a deal as it is in this run, almost to the point that it feels like zdarsky took a surface read of matt and ran with it. the show made his religion a bigger character trait than.... most of the comics ever did. I don’t have an issue with it, but it seems.... odd to me. out of place. shoe-horned in for lack of other moments where we can truly relate to matt as a person. idk. all to say I HOPE you continue reading DD comics, esp the rest of the waid run, and you don’t let this ruin it for you!

[aresrl]

I hihi I am!!! A little nervous w/ doing this bc I've never done this b4 so please bear🐻 w// me💦 May I request a match up? A vision, a romantic partner and maybe a friend and/or enemy? If that's too much feel free to just assign me a vision + partner, ehe/// Preferably male for a romantic match-up, but either gender is fine with a friend and enemy match-up^^ I tried to be as detailed as possible but I think I ended up just ranting, so im v v sorry if it's long! I sort of fluctuate when it comes to being an introvert/extroverted. W// strangers and irl, I'm very introverted and shy!! Rarely speak and if I do it's just the usual "Hi how are you? That's good. I'm good too, thank you for asking:)" yeayea I'm not too. Keen on social interaction irl. But I always do my best to be very nice!! I never wanna come off as mean bc wow what a bad first impression that would be. But with friends / ppl ik online?? Whew I am very very friendly n chatty ^^ Either very high energy or very chill, there's rarely any inbetween. Sometimes I like to jokingly tease my friends but I'd never go too far / make them uncomfortable!! And if I do I always apologize right away!! I like to say that I'm affectionate?? My strongest love language is def physical affection, if not quality time. Idk man there's just something about vibing with someone or hugging them that just aaaaa/// Although I usually display affection w// words of affection bc. Literally most of my friends are online friends so I can't actually hug them, sad times. Idk if this is needed/important info but I just remembered: I'm 5'6 around??? Need glasses bc. Whew i am blind (near sighted), I'm poc (specifically black) anndd, hm. Actually I think thats it for this section, aha. As you can see I'm, not really all that organized. Also I don't have the best attention span - while writing this I'm circling between 4 different apps - and I'm a bit of a mess. And also a little stupid. Just a smidge dumb. But I have my moments - I solved like. 2 puzzles in Inazuma by myself so I think that counts for something. I also find that I tend to talk a whole lot when I have an idea or smthn to say abt a thing I'm super interested in!! That's info-dumping. I info dump. Yes. I also really like to listen to other people talk abt things they like!!!! Its so nice :) I'm protective over people I care about!! I've never done it but 100% would bark at someone who messed with someone close to be. Arf arf yaknow. I tend to he impulsive. I'll do something, and be all "YEAH>:D" and then regret it later. And then I'll do it all over again in a fun little cycle :) I consider myself an optimist, but quickly turn into a pessimist whenever it concerns myself. Fun funfun. Should probably mention that I am. A very insecure person w/ dangerously low self esteem, which is super fun esp when you mix that with the fact that I'm rarely ever motivated to improve. Yayayay Also sort of a pushover?? Like most often than not I'll be convinced to do something, even if I'm not too keen on doing it. Also afraid of confrontation when it comes to my friends and strangers (that is, if it's concerning me!! I'll order smthn for my friend but if I need to order for myself?? uhh stutter time aha). I'm also a mega simp ahah! Srsly though if I fall for someone/get infatuated with someone I. Will be so obvious abt it even though I try very hard not to be. Would gush over that person probably. I don't really like mean people tbh. Like yes I'll be nice and civil with them but!!! I cannot stand!!! Rude people!!! Esp when they're mean for no reason like sir??? maam??? homie??? chill pls ty<3 People who aren't necessarily mean, but moreso have bastard energy and are just really "hehe>:D" but playfully are p poggers tho!!! I think I get along with kids!! I have a little sister,, around like. Nine? And we get along really well!! I also try and match a kid's energy whenever I'm tasked with looking after them. I take pride in the fact that kids like me >:].... even if they sometimes scare me-- Ok, interest time!!

I like art!! Quite a bit!! Less of a realistic artist and more of a cartoonist!! Idk there's just something fun abt drawing cartoons, hehe. I also like self ships - I have quite a bit of them, actually ! Idk its comforting drawings your fictional crushes loving you idkidk. I like writing too! Both original stories, and one-shots or personal fics that are associated with already created media!! Writing character backstories and personalities and stuff is also fun too! I've even made my own fictional world with a full fledged backstory n everything! It's very fun to think about. I'm a day dreamer!!! Yea remember when I said I write stories? I day dream abt potential stories even more. Mmm daydream world so nice so warm so fun I read aswell!! Mostly fantasy books, or stories where animals are the protagonists. Think Warrior Cats. But my favorite book series has got to be Guardians of Ga'Hoole. Fantasy owl books, anyway! X Readers are also things I enjoy reading :) Again, s I m p Also gaming!!! Is something fun I do sometimes!!! Although it's usually Genshin Impact, or Wii Sports/Resort w// my little sister. Oh, also pokemon! I rlly like Primarina, Vaporeon, Sylveon and Vulpix/Ninetails! I absolutely adore sweet foods, and baking is smthn I'm def interested in! Don't like foods w// weird textures though, like beans or mashed potatoes. Also I. Love spice so much. Mmm love it when my mouth burns so bad. Don't have a favorite animal but I've had three cats in my lifetime (btw not important but my current cat is named Sylvester and. He's my baby boy) so I am. A very big cat fan. Probably not needed but I really like sword and claymore characters. Literally all of the characters I main are either sword or claymore users. Although I did get Diona, so I miiight start forcing myself to learn how to aimmm. I see that I tend to like people/characters that are a little more extroverted than me. Upbeat, happy type beat!!! Nice sunshine babies, :) I think thats it! I hope this was good enough? Again, first time doing this (at 2am nonetheless) so forgive me if I got too rambly or did anything wrong ^^ Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this! And I hope your day is good / you had a good day, depending on when you read this, ehe!

Hey! Sorry if the wait has been long! I also love Warrior Cats (I promise myself, one day I'll finish it.)

You received... A Pyro vision! Optimistic, enthusiastic, impulsive, reckless, and a lot of energy are the general characteristics held by the Pyro vision. • I hesitated between the Pyro and Hydro vision, but your energy distinguishes you from the Hydro vision. • You said you were impulsive, always doing something you might regret later but still doing it. • You react quickly: as you said, if somebody hurt someone you love, you won't think twice before barking. Your partner would be... Xingqiu! “This feeling was unexpected.” • At first, you were just friends, and Xingqiu really loved to tease you. Actually, you both teased each other. But eventually, a feeling of love towards you grew into Xingqiu. And that was reciprocated. • Your relationship is filled with teases, jokes, and good/funny moments where you mostly share what you commonly appreciate. • He also knows when to get serious: for example, he does everything to support you during your moments of struggle concerning your self-esteem. Your friend would be... Childe! “Luckily, I'm here!” • You two also share funny moments, especially during situations where your “stupidity” is overtaken by his insight. • Sometimes, he finds you cute. • He likes the fact that you get along well with kids. It leads you to great moments with him and his siblings. • You're quite the opposite in terms of self-esteem. I think it's a good thing because it makes you complementary. Your enemy would be... Albedo! A misunderstanding. • You wouldn't hate each other, but I think Albedo wouldn't like the way you use your energy, and when you're more in a chill mood (meaning you're more available for him to talk), he could get pissed at how much times he'd have to repeat himself for you to understand something. • He's very patient, but he understood quickly that his interests would maybe not be within your reach. • You would just be too different. Worth to mention • You and Venti are like drama queens in Mondstadt. You are good friends. But you both know that you can't be more, as it would eventually both drag you down (because of similar problems). • Klee is also your best friend: both of you share decisions that you definitely will regret later. Or maybe not. • Hu tao and you are kinds of silently competing over who's the best tease, and she beats you. My goal is definitely not achieved. I hope I can catch up tomorrow. And don't worry, it was surprisingly good for a first description!

[sadviper]

2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Succumbing to peer pressure, haha, thank you @rain-hat, @smylealong, @ibelongtomousse, @macgyver-sheriff, @avauntus for tagging me~

It seems the common refrain is that this was the year everyone exploded into massive creative productivity after years of nothing, which is the exact same story for myself. I had read all the strategies of course: write 5 min a day, 1 sketch a day, don’t think about quality, do *something* just to keep the spark alive, etc etc, but it just got worse and worse. Honestly, I had been feeling so dire about it that I had made up my mind to stop trying anymore, because it was so depressing to try and fail so many times that it was much better to not hope at all.

Buuuuut.....then quarantine and telework happened, and woooah, guess what, all I needed was LOTS of time and space to myself where I’m not wasting it in an office checking emails and doing random training to fill all the downtime!!!

Much thanks to the serendipity that had me stumbling into @rain-hat , reading her early JY/KSR fics, and her encouraging me to go ahead and write that office yearly budget oneshot for TKEM (who writes BUDGET fics?? Who reads them???? lol). That’s not in my list here because it was very new and awkward, it was definitely the ball that got everything rolling.

Cut for super long-winded rambling:

1) Before There Was Zero (TKEM)

This was my first big fanfic in my life, and my most popular, and it absolutely gushed out of me in this massive torrent of *I MUST WRITE* where I would walk around at lunchtime giggling to myself, and type on my phone as I went, or wake up at 1am to scrawl something in a notebook in the dark because I couldn’t stop the words from coming. (How I miss that feeling now! ;__;) Actually, it also is the 2nd fully complete long-form story I had ever completed as well, so...lots of milestones here.

Looking back, it clearly was the product of my years of bottled up silence, where I stewed and dragged myself to the office every day wondering if I was going to calcify in a bureaucracy for the rest of my life (yes). But even as an office drone, I learned a lot of valuable lessons in how to manage, what leadership actually is at the worker bee level, the types of games white-collar workers play, and how to be a decent co-worker (and by extension, a decent human being--I don’t believe it’s possible to separate work life and private life. All your personas are you). It wasn’t all a waste after all!

Somehow I connected my day-to-day to the faceless, long-suffering Royal guardsmen in TKEM, headed by the utterly gorgeous, devastating, thoroughly underutilized, comedic prop military action star Jo Yeong, and thought--yeah! :D

2) Nil Desperandum (TKEM)

My biggest fic by far, full novel length at this point, massive in scope, I don’t even know how I came up with it based on the 10 collective seconds of screen time that Jeong Tae-ra and tyrant Jin got as a joke, but I was clearly still on that dam-gushing-pent-up-creative-high because this idea was fighting me when I was in the middle of writing “Before There Was Zero”.

I actually figured out the title while watching “Call the Midwives” where one of the peppy, indefatigable British nurses said to never despair, and I thought, yes, that’s it. All the horrible things I put my tyrantverse characters through, it was only so that when I save them at the end, it will be completely worth it. It’s a bit more violent (nothing beyond My Country levels tho) and quite emotionally dark, but I also tried to inject a lot of friendship, humor, and love into it as well, because there must always be hope.

For My Country fandom friends who didn’t realize, the tyrant!Yeong in this fic is essentially modernAU!Seon-ho, and I lifted Sung-rok entirely from My Country to be tyrant!Yeong’s second-in-command and loyal-superstar-extraordinaire. Writing them in this modern AU, and seeing the positive reception to Sung-rok’s grouchy, dogged devotion was the start of my love spiral for Sung-rok. <3 <3

3) The Veritable Records of King Taejo (My Country)

Going to cheat and lump 3 fics (soon to be 4) into one link. I rested a little bit after “Nil Desperandum” because I had completely emptied myself out at that point, just a husk of an author shell. Then I started poking out oneshots! Each one got progressively harder to write, lol, the creative gas tank was running out of juice, so I had to really start figuring out new strategies as a writer to keep going. One magic tool was coercing recruiting @rain-hat to beta for me, and WOW, THE BEST???? Who would’ve thought it’d be FUN to be edited!!! <3 Due to her efforts, I could avoid the “no beta we die like Liaodong” tag, hahaha.

I grew up watching cop shows, lawyer shows, monster-of-the-day shows, endless procedurals-- so I was super miffed that the drama would imply that Seon-ho spent YEARS just single-mindedly chasing private armies??! No! I want more family and friends development for this sad, dramatic whump child! I want him to be smarter than the show, inherently brilliant despite the stupid he descends into, and be recognized as such by the people who do recognize his value! And I want them all to be happy with no pointless death!

Also, the 4th WIP is now a Sung-rok lovefest written as an ode to his awesomeness, has stretched to 47K+ words, and is being an absolute royal pain to finish. ;__; All the ease and creative fervor from earlier? GONE. I’m a lone salmon flopping upstream on a ladder. I might get eaten before I finish laying my eggs. Any one have tips to get over this?

4) First Translation of Woo Do Hwan Japanese Interviews

More firsts! So much thanks to @ibelongtomousse to inspiring and encouraging me to do some real translating after talking to her about her sublime TKEM fics and translations thereof, and @staidwaters from emerging from the Internet depths to boost/correct my neophyte efforts! I’m now chomping at the bit to do more, even though I may ultimately discover that these interviews have absolutely nothing interesting to say, lol. But my first priority is simply to get better at the language, and 2nd priority is to soak in the words (and photos) of Woo Do Hwan, hahahah. Also, as far as I can tell, no one is filling this niche, so I guess I’ll keep going??

5) Fanart!

I started drawing again! As a procrastination tactic from writing oneshots, but it still was really nice to see that I hadn’t lost the touch entirely. I feel like I’ve mentioned this here and there, but writing wasn’t my first interest--drawing was. Animals first, then people once I discovered anime/manga. I went all into drawing comics, only to face the hard reality that I didn’t know how to tell a story end-to-end. Hence how I started trying to write. Along the way, things happened--I got RSI and had to stop drawing/writing for awhile. I discovered that pictures are NOT worth a thousand words, esp when it comes to long-form comics; my preferred tools of trade (dip pens) ended up exacerbating my RSI problems; then once I got a handle on my RSI, I found I could type faster than I can ever draw, and so here I am. I saw what @convenientalias was doing with their My Country werewolf fic though, so I am excited to try that for my Sung-rok WIP? :D

I think I’m the last hold out among artist/writer friends in answering this wrap-up, hope you enjoyed reading!

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

ODAAT S4 POLL RESULTS

thank you so, so much to everyone who answered this little survey!! here’s some basic info gleaned from the 43 participants:

no one said that season 4 is better than seasons 1-3

more than 95% think it’s worse than seasons 1-3

no one said their faves are fully getting the attention they deserve

exactly one person is ‘loving’ s4, another 9 ‘kinda like it’

the remaining 3/4 are indifferent to it, dislike or hate it

slightly more than 1/3 have given up watching s4 already

the final question was What's one of your favorite or least favorite things about S4 so far? 9 participants listed a favorite thing. 37 participants listed a least favorite thing. (some people included both a favorite and least favorite in their answers.)

the most commonly mentioned ‘favorite thing’ was alex’s character development in s4. 

the most commonly mentioned ‘least favorite thing’ was the schneider/avery relationship including the pregnancy, followed closely by s4′s lack of emotional depth, schneider’s previous arc being minimized, and the penelope/max relationship. 

you can see all 43 anonymous answers behind this cut:

Idk 

Alex

i think the problem is they’re starting conversations to then finish them too early. like i was really interested to see where they went with sydlena with elena going to college but then it was just taken back so quickly..

Fave: the show continues; also, Alex’s girlfriend. Least fave: the way Penelope and Max’s characters have been changed to make their relationship fit the new budget

The relapse in Penelope and Schneider’s friendship esp after how S3 showed SUCH growth. Not to mention, the lack of emotional depth. It’s just. Different.

Idk

.

Least favorite:Penelope and Max make no sense??? Explain the kids issue??? Also why is Avery pregnant.......I don’t like her character

they basically took away schneiders character arc

Don't have one

The demolishing of Schneider's characters growth is the most maddening thing

it doesn't have the same feel as the 1st 3 seasons.

My least favorite thing is how rushed some development is, particularly in relationships, to show that everything is fine, but also ignores the issues and struggles we were introduced to in previous seasons regarding characters. For example, Schneider and Avery are all in love and totally fine, but what happened to his addiction? How does he feel about being a father? How did they move past their breakup from when he relapsed? And with Penelope, while I loved that they showed that she could be happy with her family and still want romance, why Max again? How do they resolve the fact that he wants kids but she doesn't want more?

Penelope and Max's reunion was too rushed and Schneider and Avery's relationship is too rushed too

favorite~ alex being given some sort of storyline (the whole clothing thing and feeling insecure in the family) cuz he’s never given attention and then least favorite~ how schneider’s alcoholism has been completely sidelined and max and penny not discussing the whole kids thing. also how cuba wasn’t brought up until the mid season finale when s3 literally ended with that

My least favorite thing about season four is that it doesn’t feel like the first three seasons. I feel like the bonds that the characters have built over the years are breaking.

Schneider suddenly needing to have a baby with avery to have a family when he's been part of the alvarez fam the whole time :)))

i don’t like the lack of emotional stuff and the random bringing back old love interests without explanation

none of the characters feel like the same people or like they've regressed and lost character growth

max and avery least favorite :(

I don't like the fact that it feels like it has to explain a lot about older seasons, it feels a bit forced, but I also understand why it happens, if/when there's a season 5 I think I'm going to like it better than this season (same thing happened for me with seasons 1, 2 and 3, my favorite being the last)

Least favorite: I feel like we've lost Schneider's story. Between retconning aspects of his relationship with Avery (like them saying they've never broken up or that their first fight happened this season). It suddenly feels like he's not a member of the family like he was in S3.

The way they’ve completely regressed all the character arcs and storylines for a lot of the characters, especially Schneider

Character continuity seems to have been thrown out e.g. schneider has regressed a lot and there is no follow up on his s3 plotline

I really wish they could be longer - I do think the episodes need to be longer for storyline purposes. I think that’s why this season feels slightly different to me. Favourite thing is seeing Schneider and Avery be happy. They seem to be moving quick but it also seems to be working for them.

it used to make me FEEL. now it’s flat

That Max came back and he and Pen still haven't addressed the child-sized elephant in the room but that's okay because he's awesome /ends sarcasm. Also the baby pregancy storyline was WAY out of left field. Also what happened with Schneider's sobriety? Is he still going to meetings?

I'm happy Alex is getting good storylines and Elena and Syd are adorable but Schneider and Penelope's relationship with Avery and MaX IS TOO MUCH TOO SOON

Pen had worries about her date and ran immediately to her BFF to help her sort it out. YOU KNOW, THAT SEEMED PROMISING.

Just the overall lack of depth

Everything about Schneider/Avery has been handled extremely poorly imo

My least favourite thing is how they dismissed Schneider’s sobriety storyline

I loved the final live action episode that aired before the pandemic took over (ends on the roof garden not sure the number/title) but otherwise it's been feeling like it's skimming the surface of most serious issues that they used to tackle head on. Hoping this is just an adjustment period/growing pains but we'll see.

The baby storyline is way too rushed, and I really don't like it

Favorite: Alex taking sewing classes, least favorite: Avery/Schneider

Everythings too superficial

I hated that they didn't get to the end of season 3 Cuba reveal until episode 6, and that they've regressed Dr. B & Lydia's relationship again. Either put them together or make clear you never well, damn.

schneider/avery feels rushed and lacks emotional depth. At the end of season 3 they were broken up, barely a quarter into season 4 they've moved in together and are pregnant. It doesn't make sense. Avery is just a cartoon version of Schneider. They don't feel real.

Least favourite: The storylines aren't as deep/handled as seriously. I don't like what they have done with Schneider. I don't think they explored his relationship with Avery well enough for me to be invested in it. I also don't think now is the right time to explore them having a child.

We're halfway through the season and there has been no character growth for anyone. It's a typical sitcom. Every emotional arc has been abandoned or ignored. Why are we not seeing Schneider freak out about becoming a parent, considering his history? Why are Penelope and Schneider not as close as they once were?

The meta/4th wall joke from animated special about tv shows being animated & least them telling Schindler he’s not part of the family.. like wtf multiple times too. Also the dropping of storylines (Sobriety/Cuba) & the ex partners back and everyone is happy

Alex got some much needed character development, but they basically hamstringed Penelope and Schneider

The episodes are shorter and the comedy seems cheaper and easier, the jokes don’t have the depth they used to

[t100ficrecsblog]

an interview with @queenemori (she/hers)

what are you working on right now? I recently started posting We Don’t Need To Say It, which is a multi-chap Memori actor AU. It’s a slow burn, don’t ask me how I looked at Murphy and Emori and decided to write a slow burn, but it’s what’s happening. I really do mean slow, the chapter I just finished writing is only the beginning of the angst, you’ve been warned. My beta tells me she hates me at least once a chapter if you want an idea of how angsty this is gonna get. I started out writing for Bellarke in this fandom, and I’ll be going back to that later this summer. Anyone who follows me knows I’m obsessed with Emma, and I have an Emma Bellarke AU that’s in the outlining stages currently. I’m hoping to work on it more once I get further into this Memori fic.

what’s something you’d like to write one day? The fic I’m working on now is actually the thing that I was like, “I want to write that one day”. I love actor AUs and I wanted to write one for some fandom at some point, and in January I got this idea, but I was working on other stuff, so I was like, well maybe I’ll write it this summer. And now I am! Though I would like to write something featuring dad!Murphy in the near future.

what is the fanwork you’re most proud of? It’s actually one I haven’t published yet! I participated in Bellarke Big Bang this year, and I wrote a soulmates rom-com fic. I’m excited to share it soon once we get the go-ahead, and the artist I got to work with @clarkeindra has made some amazing art to go with it! For ones that you can actually go physically read, I will say You’re Already Breaking My Heart. It was my first fic I wrote for t100 fandom, and also the first thing I wrote after a really long time of just not writing anything, so I’m proud of it for getting me back into something I love and I’m glad that other people seemed to enjoy it. It’s what got me more into this fandom in the first place and how I made some of my first friends.

why did you first start writing fic? I got more into writing around the time I started college, though I always used to write little stories. There were a few times I almost wrote fanfic before then, like the time I almost wrote a Glee fic in ninth grade, or the time my junior year of high school where I almost wrote a Downton Abbey fic where Sybil and Branson were pen pals while Sybil was on her nurses course in season 2. But the summer before college, I wanted to write, and didn’t have any ideas for characters, but I had just read a really amazing next-gen Harry Potter fic called “Potters, Weasleys, and Misguided Snogging” which made me ship Scorpius Malfoy and Lily Luna Potter, or Scorily. So I started writing a couple stories specifically for that ship, back when I still used FF.net. It was just a one-shot and a multi-chap I never finished, but it was fun to interact with people and get to hear what they liked about the story and that they hoped I continued it, so I guess I caught the fic writing bug then.

what frustrates you most about fic writing? I wish people would leave more kudos. I’ve had this discussion with some friends before where they’re like, “What makes you leave kudos on a fic?” and I leave kudos on most fics I read, so it’s very interesting to hear people say they don’t do that as liberally as I do. If I made it to the end of the story, I’m probably going to leave kudos. The writer kept me engaged long enough to get to the end, which I think is worthy of showing some sort of support, even if I don’t leave a comment. Though I am trying to get better about leaving comments more often. Kudos are a very low stakes way to show you like a story that someone put out. Afraid to comment, but want to show the author you enjoyed reading? Leave kudos. A couple of stories I have out have gotten a fair amount of hits, but the amount of kudos in comparison to the amount of people who have probably opened it is a little disheartening. I’ve also heard people say they don’t want to leave kudos on stories that have been out for a while, but I love to get kudos on my old work! It’s fun to see that people are still reading things I put out in like 2017 or even just last year. Kudos brighten my day just as much as comments do sometimes, especially when I know not everyone feels comfortable leaving a comment!

what are your top five songs right now? The answer to this is 98% always related to what I’m listening to when I’m working on a certain writing project lol.

Sweet by Cigarettes After Sex Heartbreak Weather by Niall Horan I Will Follow You into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie Bye-Bye Darling by Borns Fire for You by Cannons

what are your inspirations? Red, White & Royal Blue, since I read that recently. It honestly just made me want to write a movie, and I kind of hope that whatever TV or movie adaptation it ends up getting in the future I’m able to work on. I want to be a screenwriter, so I tend to get inspired by TV a lot. The Mindy Project, Insecure, and even Never Have I Ever are big inspirations for me. Or more like, anything that Issa Rae or Mindy Kaling are involved in, to be honest. I write a lot of modern AUs, so just anything that shows good relationship progression or has fun with mundane, everyday situations.

what first attracted you to Memori? what attracts you now? So fun fact, I stopped watching the show for a bit. I binged basically two seasons in a weekend while visiting a friend in like 2017, and I enjoyed it, but I wasn’t obsessed? Then I started s3 and a bunch of characters were getting on my nerves so I put it down for a while. Then I was on Tumblr at the beginning of 2019 and saw a gifset from 3x05 of Murphy and Emori kissing and I was kind of like, “That guy’s still alive? And he has a girlfriend?” So I started watching again, legit only because I was shook Murphy had survived lol. So the thing that first attracted me to them was just the fact that they were a couple at all, I guess. I’d say now that I’ve rewatched the show and seen their relationship develop, I love that these are two people who have always had to fend for themselves and kind of had that “me against the world” mentality. And then they find this other person that cares about them and wants to take care of them, and life becomes a lot less lonely. Also now we get to see their relationship after years together, so they’re very domestic, which adds this lovely sense of normalcy on this post-apocalyptic sci-fi show that I absolutely adore. Their interactions especially in s7 just read as a married couple who are very comfortable with each other, but still incredibly devoted to one another and in love.

Besides Memori, what character or pairing do you like best on t100? For ships, I also really like Bellarke. When I was more casually watching the first time around, I didn’t have much of an opinion on them/didn’t really ship it until season 4, but ever since then I’ve been on board. It’s very clear I’m a huge Memori person, but I do ship Murven, though mainly in AU settings. And Memoraven are my OT3!! My other fave character is Bellamy. And I feel like Gabriel has also quickly become a favorite for me. It’s definitely a mixture of his confused, but obsessed with science vibe on the show and the fact that he has been very fun to write in my actor AU when he makes appearances every so often.

why did you decide to start writing for bellarkefic-for-blm? Ever since I’ve been home due to the pandemic, writing has kind of been my escape. Weirdly enough, I’ve written so much (both fic and some real life stuff), even though I’m still working and everything like that. And when the BLM movement was getting a lot of traction specifically in our fandom spaces, I was immediately skeptical of people’s intentions because as a Black person in America specifically I’ve seen this happen before where all the attention is on this issue for a couple weeks and then everyone goes back to posting what they normally post about. And I guess this time things are a bit different, but the thing that began to frustrate me was seeing people shame others for saying they were going to watch the next episode of the show or for working on their fanfic. Fandom spaces have been my biggest escape from the news since March and while I was glad people were focusing on this sort of thing, I kind of hated the way people were making it out to be like this was a new issue when in reality it’s just my life. When I close my laptop and go out into the world, I’m still Black. I had considered opening my ask box up for prompts in exchange for someone donating to a bail fund or something like that, especially since I had just reached a follower milestone, but when I saw that Sam was organizing this and it was going to be an ongoing thing rather than just for a certain period of time, it was heartening to see someone realizing that this isn’t something we can just stop talking about even when the media moves on. The structure of these prompts makes it so that a person has to do a bit of research on BLM and educate themselves or confront the issue in a way they might not have had to before. And it gives me a chance to write things like my fluffy Memori wedding fic ! It’s a way to have my little fandom escape and also stay aware of what’s going on in the real world.

what’s your writing process like (esp for prompts, chopped!, etc)? I LOVE outlines! The Virgo in me loves to talk about my fic outlining process lol. With some short one-shots, I tend to just go in with a sentence or concept that I write at the top of the document and just write and see where that takes me. I also put at the top of the document all the things I want to tag it as when I go to post to AO3, so I don’t have to spend too much time thinking of those when it’s time to post. With multi-chap fics, I first make an ideas dump document which is just me typing out a bunch of thoughts, things like who’s in it, the premise, stuff like that. My actor AU has three preliminary documents: My ideas dump, the actual outline, and then the outline for what happens on each season of the TV show the characters are all on, since I reference those plot points a lot. For things like Chopped or prompts I receive, I do a mixture of the outline/ideas dump in one document. I put at the top all the information I received (so with prompts I tend to just copy/paste the ask from my inbox, and for Chopped the different tropes and theme), then think about what characters I want to use if it wasn’t specified, then kind of do bullet points on what happens in the story. These have all been really helpful in terms of keeping me on track, but I make sure to remind myself that things can change as I write and take a different direction than I expected. So my outlines are constantly changing, but the general idea is already written somewhere so I don’t get too stuck.

what are your thoughts on dad!murphy? The concept of dad!Murphy has really been living rent-free in my brain since before the beginning of season 7. I just kind of love the idea of Murphy (who is a character at first glance I feel like people don’t picture as much of a father figure) kind of falling into being a dad in an unexpected way, and then realizing how much he loves it. It’s just such a sweet thought, and I talked about it so much with some of my friends, that we started a Dad!Murphy Enthusiast Club server on discord (we’re always accepting members so DM me if you’d like to join us!). We just kind of talk about our dad!Murphy headcanons, share fics featuring dad!Murphy, and then get excited when people make new dad!Murphy content. It’s a fun time and though I am a very large Memori, I’m a multi-shipper at heart, and Murphy is one of those characters that I find easy to ship with a lot of people, so we love dad!Murphy in all forms!

what are some things you’d like to recommend?  This is a mix of Bellarke and Memori stuff, since that’s what I mainly read.

Literally everything @mobi-on-a-mission writes, but if I must get specific, then Revive and The Cockroach. 

Almost Paradise (We’re Knocking On Heaven’s Door)  by @nakey-cats-take-bathsss , 13 hours by Kats_watermelon, feat. by Debate, and of course, my comfort fic so i sing a song of love  by twilightstargazer.

The best place to find @queenemori is here on Tumblr. You can find her ao3 here. Request a fic written by her via @bellarkefic-for-blm.

[johannstutt413]

(inspired by this imagine from arknights-imagines; been trying to come up with something for Doctor x Mostima, this was how we got there)

The Doctor sighed as his stomach growled for the third time in the hour. He’d had to come in early to start on the workload for the day, and while he was almost finished for the day as a result, he’d only managed to stuff a microwave burrito and a boiling-hot cup of coffee down his gullet before arriving, and he hadn’t taken lunch at all. Mostima had come in earlier with a new stapler - his old one jammed to the point of being useless the other day - but he’d hoped she come around again. Oh well; no use in getting his hopes up-

“Hey, Doctor. I’m back.” She had that smile as always, that impossible-to-hate but impossible-to-interpret smirk which was a better poker face than a stone wall. As soon as he saw her, his stomach growled, and Mostima cocked her head. “You’ve eaten today, right?”

“Not since breakfast - been running on empty for a couple hours now. Good news is, I’m almost - there we go, finally! - done for the day, too.”

Mostima nodded. “In that case, I wouldn’t mind taking you out for dinner, if you don’t have any other plans.”

“That sounds a hell of a lot better than the cafeteria right now.” He stood up, leaning on his desk while he grabbed his staff. “I’m so glad you got me a walking stick right now.”

“I’m still shocked no one else noticed your limp. Any preference tonight? Lungmen? Victorian? There’s a Far Eastern place that has a special around this time of day.”

The Doctor shook his head. “Anything sounds good right now, espe-” He cut himself off before he said, “especially with you.”

It wasn’t a secret how he felt about her; hell, it wasn’t a secret that more than a few of the Operators on base felt that way about her, or that Mostima had no interest whatsoever in anything beyond crashing for a night or two at one of their dorms between journeys. She was a traveler with a lipstick-stained passport, and outside of her constant aura of exotic amiability, you couldn’t get anything out of her if she didn’t want you to have it. So far? She and the Doctor were on good terms, nothing more, and that probably wouldn’t be changing any time soon.

Unless, of course, this was more than just a pity gesture. Mostima had a heart, the Doctor knew that much - the stick was a sign of that, at least - but he wasn’t going to kid himself into thinking she had any real interest in him.

“Hey, Doctor?” While he was thinking all of this, they’d left the office and were walking around the compound. The halls were already packed with Operators done with work. “Don’t lose me, now.”

“I won’t-” As he said that, her hand wrapped around his wrist. It was far warmer than he’d expected, and...softer. It was a good thing his visor and hood were still up to block the late afternoon sun, otherwise she might notice how bright his face had gotten.

Mostima led him down a series of tightening corridors until, finally, they were in front of a nondescript little cafe. “It might not look like it, Doctor, but this is by far the best Lungmen buffet you’ll find without going into Lungmen itself.”

“Really?” His wrist had shaken loose of her hand sometime during the walk, and now they were simply holding hands. Well, ‘simply’ - their fingers were interlocked, and when the Doctor looked in her eyes for the first time since they were in the office, she smiled back at him more brightly than he was used to. “W-well, I could eat a horse right now, so a buffet sounds perfect.”

“Glad to hear it. I wonder if they added those dumplings I suggested...” Mostima squeezed his hand as she pushed open the door, and they walked inside together.

After finding himself awed by the decor and the variety of options despite the restaurant’s small size, a waitress brought them to a table with a couple glasses of water and plates. “Miss Mostima, would you like to start with a plate of curry dumplings this evening?”

“You added them to the menu after all?” She nodded. “Yes, please.”

“And for the gentleman- Ah, Doctor! I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize the jacket in this light.”

He blushed, his hood and other face coverings discarded for the time being. “No, it’s perfectly alright. Um...Mostima’s dish sounds good. Another plate of dumplings, please.”

“Two orders of dumplings on the way.” She winked at him. “Thank you for your business this evening.”

“She really likes you. I thought you hadn’t been here before?” Mostima’s eyes were locked on him, one hand wrapped around her glass and the other dancing on her plate.

The Doctor blushed even harder. “I haven’t been here before as a customer, but I’ve helped with deliveries here before.”

“They had you doing deliveries?” She shook her head. “The girls at Penguin would love to hear that, I’m sure.”

“Oh, they did - I was working with them at the time. Anything interesting happen today?”

Mostima thought for a moment. “Let’s see...”

They talked while they waited for their food. Normally, their conversations were standard faire - pleasantries and talking about their days, nothing particular. That was how talking with Mostima was; nothing more revealing than a few of her more interesting stories, nothing more probing than questions to keep the conversation going. Not that it wasn’t enjoyable, but every now and again, the Doctor could tell when she was holding back. Tonight, though? It was like peeling back the curtain; they started with the usual, but slowly they shifted topics to romance, and since the Doctor had lost most of his memories, Mostima was the only one with any real stories to discuss. Lord, did she have stories.

“Your dumplings, fresh from the chef’s pot.” The waitress arrived at their table in the middle of a story about Exusiai that had the Doctor in stitches. “Enjoying yourselves so far?”

“Quite well. Would you mind getting one of the bottles of sake we brought in that one day? I’ve been meaning to try it since I read the label.”

She nodded. “Certainly. Anything else?”

“Nope.” He smiled at her. “We’ll let you know when you come back if something comes up.”

“Of course. I’ll get that bottle for you.”

As their waitress walked off, Mostima smiled the same smile from earlier. “You’re quite the charmer when you want to be, aren’t you, Doctor?”

“Hmm?” He shook his head. “I’m just being polite.”

Casually referencing your shared history and smiling like that? I don’t know about that.” She cut into her first dumpling, steam rolling out of it with a satisfying hiss.

“These smell wonderful,” the Doctor noted, cutting into his as well.

“Changing the subject so quickly?” Mostima chuckled. “I might be worried I struck a nerve if I didn’t know you better.”

He glanced up as he took his first bite, savoring his first food in nine hours with a primal satisfied groan. “They taste even better somehow. You really know your stuff, Mostima.”

“Well, you know me, Doctor. Well-informed and well-traveled.” Her eyes dulled a little as he remained enraptured by the dumplings in front of him even as he tore through them like paper.

“I’ve always wanted to travel,” he continued, one cheek full of dumpling. “Ever since I woke up in that cot in Ursus, I’ve been dying to know what Terra’s really like, but all I get are the piecemeal stories from my employees. That’s never the same thing as going there in person, as I’m sure you know.”

She shrugged. “Most of the time.”

“To look through those eyes of yours and see the wonders you’ve seen...That’d be a real adventure, no doubt.”

“They’ve seen a lot,” she agreed. “Beauty and horror, highs and lows, comedy and tragedy.”

The Doctor sighed. “I wish I could go with you on one of your deliveries. Even if it wasn’t all that long, just feeling the road under my feet with you in the seat next to me...” He trailed off before he hit that point too hard.

“You’d rely on me to teach you how to travel? I bet Penguin could do that.” Mostima’s smile flatlined. “Exu certainly could. She’s a much more lively companion than me, after all, and you know how I feel about you relying on me.”

“I relied on you to take me to dinner this evening, to pick the restaurant, to decide what to eat. Mostima, this whole day, I’ve been relying on your help, your experience, your wisdom.” His first course finished, his attention had refocused on the top at hand.

She blinked. “I hadn’t thought of it that way. I show people restaurants all the time.”

“That might make it less special for you,” the Doctor muttered, just loud enough for her to hear it, “but that doesn’t change anything for me. I’ll take whatever I can get.”

“Whatever you can get...”

When the waitress returned, they were both staring at their plates. She set the bottle and a pair of cups at the table and glanced between them. “Is everything alright?”

“Oh, we’re fine,” he replied, somewhat apologetic. “Thank you for the sake. Mostima, I’m going to get a bowl of ramen; do you want anything?”

“Huh? Oh, um...chicken with spicy cream sauce, please.”

He nodded, flashing her a thumbs up. “I’ll be right back.”

“Has he really always felt this way?” Mostima muttered to herself. “No, that would be ridiculous. He’s never said anything before.”

“Miss Mostima, if I may? The Doctor likes for people to be happy,” their waitress noted.

She looked up at her with a blank stare. “I know that.”

“Maybe he thought you’d be happier if you didn’t know?” She shrugged. “The way he looked at you at the door seemed pretty clear to me.”

“But I...Thank you, Clarisse. You more than earned your tip tonight.”

Clarisse smiled. “Always happy to help, Miss Mostima. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Of course.” Mostima poured herself a cup full of sake. “I’ll let you know...”

“Alright, one bowl of creamy chicken for you, and one pork and soy for me...Everything alright?” The Doctor came back with their second course in high spirits, which almost instantly sunk as he saw her troubled expression.

She sighed, looking up at him. “I’ve been a real idiot lately, Doctor.”

“What makes you say that?” He jabbed his chopsticks at a cutlet of pork, halfway spearing it on one of them. “I can’t think of a single dumb thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“I can...You know, when I was with Exu, I never once thought about how she must have felt about my coming and going - business was business, and pleasure was pleasure. If I wanted her, I knew where to find, but the other way around was ridiculous to worry about. Right now, though, I wonder...Doctor, do you miss me when I leave?”

He nodded, not looking up from his bowl. “Every time.”

“If I stayed around more,” she continued, “would that make you happier?”

“Only if you can be happy staying in one place for longer.”

Mostima bit her lip. “And if I wanted to stay with you?”

“If that’s what you want.” The Doctor looked up at her. “My door’s always open.”

“I’m wondering if it should be...Remember when I said it didn’t matter what our relationship was like, because I don’t really need love or a family?”

He nodded. “Clear as you are now.”

“Forget all of that.” Mostima’s eyes burned into his soul as a shimmering sapphire fell from her eye into her ramen. “I do need love, Doctor...Yours.”

“All you had to do was ask, Mostima.” He rested his free hand on the table, and she took it, palms pressed together and fingers interlocking. Surely, the night couldn’t get better than this moment.

They held their hands like that as they finished their second course; once they finished, they switched hands so the Doctor could try the sake he’d requested, and after each having two small glasses, they agreed to buy the rest of the bottle and share it between them after their next few nights together. Their waitress returned with their bill, and after taking one glance at them she knew they’d want dessert - specifically, the restaurant’s specialty, another Mostima suggestion. Another hour or so went by, the Doctor continuing to compliment her on her taste and, well, everything else that came to mind while she basked in the warmth like a lizard on a rock. Once they were finished, and her ego was large enough to make her completely flight-capable, the Doctor paid for their meal, Mostima paid the tip, and they left the restaurant.

“So...your place?” She asked as they walked back towards the dorms.

“I mean, you don’t exactly have one, right?” He blinked. “Wait, you must have somewhere you keep your stuff.”

Mostima shrugged. “In my truck.”

“That makes sense...does it have a bed?”

“It does, actually.” She cocked her head. “Are you asking to spend the night with me in my truck?”

The Doctor shrugged back. “Can I see your truck, at least? If you don’t want me to spend the night in it, that’s fine-”

“No, it’s not that, it’s just...funny, I guess. I’ve never thought of my truck being something exotic.”

“When you’re a shut-in like me, it certainly is.” He chuckled. “Almost as exotic as you.”

Mostima raised an eyebrow. “Almost? You haven’t even seen it yet.”

“If it, I dunno, doubles as a sauna and can drive itself, then maybe, but that’s only because you and it have gone a lot of places together.”

“Actually, this is my third one in two years.”

The Doctor’s other hand arced in front of him, his stick hovering at his side. “Well, there you go. Hey, which direction is the garage from here, anyway?”

“Don’t worry, I’m taking us there.” She squeezed his hand. “Are you always this lively?”

“Nope. I’m just really happy right now.”

Mostima giggled. “All because of little old me?”

“All because of you.” His head drifted onto her shoulder. “I can’t remember the last time I felt like this.”

“Neither can I...Well, here we are. What do you think?”

The Doctor looked it up and down. “For some reason, when you said truck, I didn’t expect it to be a full semi.”

“I’ve driven smaller ones, but they’re much easier to lose.” She clicked a button on her key fob, and the back of her trailer collapsed into a ramp up. “Took awhile to find one that did that.”

“Wow...It’s kind of a mess, isn’t it?”

Mostima blushed. “I wasn’t expecting to host.”

“I kind of like it more because of that, though.” He slipped his hand out of hers to wrap it around her waist. “Reminds you this is someone’s home.”

“Well, it was, at least.” They walked up the ramp, which closed behind them, and sat on the edge of her bed.

The Doctor couldn’t quite parse it in his current state. “Why’s that?”

“Because home is where the heart is, Doctor.” Mostima put a hand against his chest and gently pushed him down. “Which means my home is wherever you are.”