#it's just been making me really. deeply sad
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man. I might have to block the g/ood o/mens tag. lol
#dove speaks#ever since season 2 came out all I see constantly is stuff about azi and crow being romantic#romantic and dating and kissing and having sex and so on and so forth#and. man. as an acearo person who identified STRONGLY with these characters and their relationship during season 1#it's just been making me really. deeply sad#there was a whole acearo community around g/o that I don't see on my dash anymore#like. idk. im trying to be happy for you guys#but i can't help feeling like i lost something. that something that was Really Important and Meaningful to me was taken away#and obviously nobody has this intention and is just having fun with their ship and I don't blame them#but seeing it constantly being celebrated has just been rubbing salt in the wound#I get it's an unpopular opinion but I really cannot express how disappointed I was with the amount of romance present in this season#all leading up to that kiss at the end#when I finally got to that part there was just this. profound feeling of loss that overtook me#like Oh. okay. so this is just officially... not for me anymore.
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I really do know that physical appearance isn’t everything but i also really hope that one day i get to experience someone i love looking at me and thinking i’m pretty
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#idk#i just haven’t really had many compliments on my appearance throughout my life#but the few times i have gotten them have been crazy#i end up thinking about it forever#idk i’m just forever excited about the idea of someone just plain old LIKING me#like bells and whistles of falling in love and everything aside#i truthfully deeply really want someone just to like me if that makes sense#also this isn’t like a sad post btw#it’s something im hopeful about and look forward to a lot :)#right now i just have to be a bit wistful about it though lol#im gay and i like sleeping
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Today in Reasons I'm Glad I Did Not Go Home for Christmas: very grateful not to have been around for my mom dismantling the tree at 3pm Christmas Day when she's waited long enough to have her space back to normal
#i feel so weird explaining to everyone that and why i haven't gone home yet#because it seems like it must be because i have beef with my family#or i just don't care very much about being with them#which is not true! most of the beef is worked out and i love being with them very much!#i just love Christmas more and it makes me sad to be full-time in a group that really doesn't care to share that love#on the spiritual side. i could get maybe 2 sentences of nice reflection at most out of them#maybe i just want to luxuriate in my delight and decorations and church tradition and light in the darkness#sorry i know i have been deeply obnoxious and obsessive about this whole Christmas location thing#i will stop (since I'm going home tomorrow)
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See the thing is. I know I'm good at writing. Like I have my weak areas or things I need to improve in, but it's not a skill I otherwise spend a lot of time feeling insecure about because a) if I don't believe in my writing literally who will b) if I want to publish my writing I ought to at least feel a resting level of good about it because editors and agents likely will not be cradling my face like a prize cat and telling me how talented I am while asking for their edits c) I've always had an audience for my writing even at its worst– I started sharing my original works online when I was around 16 & that really helped sell to me the idea of 'there will always be someone out there who likes what you do' d) untalented men never think this hard about the quality of their works and they always end up published anyway and e) I don't have many other thoroughly developed skills so why not have one I feel good about. Having said this. Awkward feeling to realize you're one of the authorial weak links in your postgraduate creative writing degree's social circle
#part of the issue is definitely also like. i am good at what i do! its just that im the only one doing it#40 people in my fuckass degree and im the only one who writes fantasy fiction. we had one more girl but she did romance & dropped out#(to be an agent) (this isnt a sad story)#but yeah no im mostly surrounded by very talented poets and screenwriters. which makes my works seem a little. frivolous. in comparison#and my friends especially are so fucking talented it makes me ill. and they engage politely with me about my writing but its also#superficial and i cant blame them because its simply not what they write/what theyre interested in! i feel the same about poetry#but my friend actually seemed surprised a while ago when i mentioned a thing id been writing and i joked that it looked like she was#surprised i could have good ideas and she didnt answer. and like. man.#i am a good writer! i fucking know im a good writer but im a good FANTASY writer and these people are. different writers and theyre good an#im floundering in this environment next to them and theres something not as like.. artistic in what i do its so fucking embarrassing#and they also display just such a lack of curiosity as to others' writing like.. they wont check the moodle forum to read what the others i#our module have uploaded for each assignment?? like arent you even just CURIOUS? but now im also just wondering if theyre like 🤞 this#with each other in a way that excludes me and my stupid flop ass fiction. i dont know. its just so silly. everyone always talks about#finding community in writing groups & degrees & such and that is exactly the last and most isolating place ive ever been insofar as my#writing goes. like at least way back in high school no one cared in general. here people do care. just not about what i can bring to the#table. although again i really dont know if this is a larger scale lack of curiosity/involvement in others works so i digress.#notnow#tbd#sorry this is a very priveleged complaint to have i AM deeply enjoying my degree and ik im so lucky to get to go where i attend. i just#occasionally feel sad. and knowing i failed my last assignment (which WAS fiction) (one chance to prove myself! cute) isnt helping much#if the poetrypeople are better at me even in the thing im meant to be good at. baby we're about to enter the mental health meat grinder.#but we stay silly. i think i just need to find people online etc to talk to about writing again like i did at 17.#just full insanity paragraph analysis. that was fun. i enjoyed that.
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I think I wouldn’t be as mad about Toei’s choices for Super if the things they overwrote wouldn’t have translated so beautifully to animation.
I have my beef with the gaps in my sense of humor and Toei’s writers room and our opinions on characterizations, sure, but so many of the cool things that happened in the manga and the movies that Toei reiterated were changed, botched, or removed completely, and that sucks.
Vegeta being so cool and so protective of his family during the Goku Black arc, and Gohan being a total badass during Ressurection F are my biggest “why did you change this??” beefs. But also man. The tournament had so many good moments in the manga that were totally snubbed in the anime.
As a fan it makes me angry but as an artist it makes me sad. Toya is such a cinematic storyteller and his pacing and compositions were just. Thrown away. :(
EDIT: Someone in the notes pointed out that the anime caught up with the manga before the GB arc so I do take back that they threw away Toya’s later work in the GB and Tournament arcs, but I will never understand why they weren’t sharing assets when they were in production at the same time. And I still can’t forgive them for fumbling the retellings of BotG and ResF so hard OTL
#dbtag#NOT silly hours#Been chatting with a friend all day about our beef with modern (US) media being so scared of camp and comedy in action stories and I’m so#Sad. I hope Super’s anime gets rebooted after Daima I really do and I hope to GOD it’s faithful to Toriyama’s writing and humor#Make dragon ball about love and community and adventure and joy girl it’s not just the Super Goku CoolGuy Power Hour 😭#It also makes me so upset to think about how they would’ve trashed the Moro and Granolah arcs 🥲#The deep dedication to not letting Vegeta be a protagonist in the series in which is essentially the protagonist..baffling#I also really hate…the validation of feeling super’s anime was deeply corporate and learning it was a cash-grab rush job :’)#Not only was the production schedule absolutely horrid for the production crew#But also it was handled so poorly that Toriyama had to write official fix-it fic for his own original universe and characters#Like who is making these choices that Toriyama was going “that’s entirely the wrong vibe” and they just kept going “who cares :)”#Like isn’t that exactly what the dragon ball evolution producers did? Just brought him on for the name and ignored his advice completely?
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i think it's time that we as a society realized that actually eternals wasn't bad it was just not standard marvel fare and that's okay
#maybe i'm biased#it is my favorite marvel movie after all#but i truly think so much of the hate was that it was a diverse cast with overtly pro-choice messaging that freaked marvel fans out#is it flawed? yes. but all marvel movies are#but something about that found family and cast and creative team that clearly cared deeply about the story they were telling really got me#there was so much care put into the making of it!#lauren ridloff (makkari) made name signs for all the characters because she is actually deaf and wanted to make the film good representatio#and all the cast learned basic sign language so they could talk to her on and off the set#it's so unlike every other marvel movie and that's why i love it#it's not afraid to push boundaries and be strange and make mistakes#and i'm so sad that it will never get a sequel because there was so much potential for those characters and their stories#i wanted to see makkari and druig realize they love each other#i wanted to see them deal with the fallout of their actions#i wanted to see the family fracture and then see them all find their way back to each other#i wanted to see more queer representation in a character of color whose whole story wasn't all about being queer and isn't just a cameo#i wanted more!#and i'm not afraid to admit it!#maybe it would have been better as a tv show but i dunno. i switch thoughts about that a lot#i think the alternating timeline was really interesting and kept me engaged the whole time but i am definitely in the minority for that one#but i also don't like endgame so. you know. maybe i can't be trusted#anyway that was a whole ass essay#if you read all that hope you enjoyed. drink some water. give yourself a pat on the back. i love you.#the eternals#marvel#drukkari
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i don’t know what you guys are all complaining about i love that svu has vaporized olivia from woman on the verge to lady cragen
#she's behind the desk she's giving advice she's scolding the kids#she has a life we know nothing about but we know she's Seen It All and also is Lonely#i haven't been saying much about this season because here is the humiliating truth:#i am letting the cop show make me sad#(i should know better)#yes the lack of eo is a bummer but we've done it before we'll do it again#but having a season of genuinely interesting character work re olivia#to have the narrative directly engage with her as a soft furious grieving woman#to question her state of mind and what she does to herself in service of The Calling#only to not simply backtrack but neutralize her fully…#yeesh#is it a coincidence m has barely spoken a word about svu on any press appearances this season?#well no because what is there to say really#this is not a landmark season and there are zero plans to move olivia forward#she’s right where we left her tune into nbc thursdays at 8pm eastern#BUT what makes me most sad is that this shift was a demand from the viewers#(again! i should know better! and yet!)#i am just. a little heartbroken to have it confirmed that much of the audience loves olivia on the condition that she is Good#not only because she very much isn't#but also because that is boring and dangerous and speaks to our deeply warped perception of what it means to be a complete person#more specifically a complete woman#yet the audience lets out a sigh of relief! saint olivia is back! she is a Strong Woman giving Lawfully Good advice! phew!#remember when she was a little broken and volatile and seeing ghosts don’t worry she’s fixed now :)#please note my reaction is certainly tied to other real life happenings including 11/5 looming#alas it’s where i am#anyways dw you’re a loser
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Being a human is literally like this weird combo of being okay and not okay that goes on forever except there is also death
#(i'm fine)#(personally) (mostly) (really)#this has just been an absolutely terrible year for our planet and its people and animals#and it's fucking insane that as an american living in relative safety and comfort and experiencing the pleasures and guilt of that...#...i can experience this horrible yet ENTIRELY SURVIVABLE blend of acute pain over so many things at once#including war and genocide and the utter hopelessness of that#and also things like being really really sad that matthew perry's life was so hard and he died#and also so many bad and weird things have happened to family members this year but we mostly have the resources to come together and deal#which is amazing and bolstering and exhausting#and my brain still has space to be excited about writing and numb to writing and angry/impotent about writing#desperate for feedback yet private and retreat-y and weird#always hoping to hit upon The Perfect Thing :-/#and i live in a place that basically is not a democracy any more and also the u.s. is so cursed we've never been what we said we were#so a lot of my own perceived safety is incredibly fragile#but still so much more solid than what the people i am mourning for had#and none of the comparisons make a lick of sense and are in and of themselves deeply unfair#to the point that it's humiliating to feel guilt (making it about me) and simultaneously humiliating that i don't feel guilt *constantly*#and i have therapy this week but also this deep sense that while my therapist will be a fine person to talk to it will feel unuseful#i've always been a muddle of optimism and pessimism and i am very adamant that life is super beautiful and this is precisely why...#...all the violence in the world is so brutally devastating#it's just that the casserole of all these thoughts feels increasingly horrible#and feeling that way is 100% sane#and even intersectional frameworks and intentional attempts at gentleness only get you so far in the grapple#for meaning and for ideas of what to do#so i end up contacting my reps about various awful things#and zooming in and out on my fixations and having excellent days and terrible days#often dependent on what feels like a camera setting i only partially control#and i'm sure i'm not alone in feeling embarrassed that deep empathy and grief for people i've not met somehow ends up being...#...at least a sliver about ME and my little world#about me
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Yeah I don't even really know what to say honestly
#Life According to Bre#Figured I should say SOMETHING since my queue is stuffed with DA rn but like#I kind of. Knew. As I finished veilguard. That I was playing a DA game for the first time for the last time#Which is part of the reason it was a hard finale to get through#And part of me thought that would be okay?? because at least it wasn't a cliffhanger this time and the world is still there to play in#But gosh it really is. So deeply sad. Both in terms of what could have been. What SHOULD be#And also of course for the devs. because fuck. Every time#But also it's not just Bioware. It's not just EA. it's the whole goddamn industry rn#Where you can't HAVE 'okay' performing games#it has to be THE BIGGEST THE BEST EVER. SO MUCH BIGGER AND BETTER THAN THE LAST#or else no one will invest in you again and that's. soooo stifling for creativity and artistic visions#And it absolutely contributes to crunch and burnout because games with a manageable scope aren't good enough anymore!!!!!#And it hurts people who are trying to make a living doing this!!!!!#It's so fucked man this is so unsustainable#The fact that the soft reset of the series is what led to most of the problems people had with vg#And you know that was a call to try and get AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE TO BUY#but it backfired because instead of leaning into the cult hit of it all and really appealing to their base they just alienated everyone#god......god. Anyway#I hope the devs land on their feet. At the end of the day I do think they made a good game considering everything
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Probably gonna be a hot take, but- art competitions are anti-art.
Competition kills art. Inherently. The second you start comparing people’s works and labeling some as “winners” and “losers”, you trivialize it.
So many young or beginner artists completely give up or don’t even try because they don’t believe they’ll ever be “good enough”, and competitive attitudes reinforce ideas of what is “good enough”.
It’s just overall- really yikes, imo.
#text post#soda rambles#it’s just really sad to see what this stuff does to younger artists#I almost quit art due to competition and elitism in the art community#So I wind up having more strong stances on this kind of thing..#Even if it’s not a competition about the quality of the art itself#Competition feels dangerous#at least to me. It encourages division and breeds elitism. It’s something that makes me deeply uncomfortable.#when you place people as “winners” and “losers” you place arbitrary value on people and that’s bad ESPECIALLY with something like art.#Pitting people against each other just reads to me as a recipe for toxicity.#Idk maybe I’m just a pissbaby because I’ve been bullied so much throughout my life I just get scared#This isn’t supposed to be a grandstand or anything this is just how I feel about it#I know this is probably just a me thing
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Reading moodboard #84430940 (Patreon)
#Doodles#I wonder what this is in reference to lol - could be anything really!#Bit funny actually - I was reading something else in overlap at the time - a fic from another fandom though it ended up not being for me#Different authors just speak to different people! It was fun to come back to something familiar and realize Just how much I appreciate it ah#Novel and familiar! My very favourite <3 And of course it was a wonderful experience on top of that hehe ♪♫#Numbers lol - I really have done way too much age headcanon math pfft#I just love timelines! And even if the hints aren't exact they /are/ hints and I'm going to use them!!#The numbers that are established are such fun markers - and using characterization as hints towards how many years have passed! Ah! ♪#Like how it's definitely possible that Max took a two year but considering his family he was probably pushed to do a four year#There's no confirmation either way but it's just so fun to consider what they'd do based on how they're written!#These are the kind of written math problems I enjoy hehe#I was being a bit self-deprecating for that doodle actually tho lol - art mimics life and all that pfft#Also confirmation of him being a Lit Major ❤️💕💖💞💗 Small details give me big love you must understand this lol#As evidenced lol ♪ Adding to my playlist definitely didn't help it very strongly upgraded to Big Love for like a week straight lol#Terrible ♪ Couldn't stand it <3 Genuinely painful ♫#Lol - ''finding'' more - it's what had my blood on fire! I'm so grateful for mirrors#Anyone who's been following me for a while knows I have this whole thing about Legacy and what you leave behind and the internet in general#That the internet is forever except when it's not - that plenty of things get deleted or lost etc. etc. and it makes me very sad :(#So seeing that there was an in-built preservation - it only saved Some things but anything saved is precious!! It made me very happy <3#And then finishing off 💔💕 Beautifully heartbreaking ah#Even skim-reading later made me cry again! It's deeply affecting hhh#Another experience I'm so happy to be able to have ♥ Another tally on the wall haha <3
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(´・ᴗ・ ` )
#I really like the “We're the bad guys' enemy” line. For someone I generally despise Dazai has all my favourite lines in this show…#Idk I can't really vibe with the unbalance that there is between s/kk.#Like when push comes to shove‚ Dazai has the power to keep Chuuya alive or let him die.#I understand why they make a compelling dynamic in their complexity‚ but it just doesn't do it for me.#I'm a little sad my opinion on them hasn't really changed since I watched the anime for the first time...#Also; I really can't vibe with Chuuya allowing Dazai to kill Q. Yes I know Chuuya cares about his comrades deeply.#Yes I know it can be interpreted as Chuuya seeing himself in Q as a living weapon and being disgusted by it#(though I honestly don't think that was intentional of the author).#Yes I know Chuuya is a mafioso and kills people. No I don't think your personal issues justify you being a dick to other people I'm sorry.#Back to my main annoyance with the episode: I must have already talked about this but I hate hate hate the narrative#“the mafia works for the city” “the mafia deeply loves the city too” it's so so sickening and insulting please stop I'm begging.#Please visit any actual city with a rooted mafia presence for once in your life (signed: someone whose hometown was destroyed by the mafia.#The writers really don't know what they're talking about and‚ politely‚ it's offensive.)#Also b/sd keeping being extremely nationalist with Mori (who's largely depicted unsimphatetically for the first part of the episode)–#bringing up western thinkers and subtly mocking Fukuzawa for not knowing them–#and Fukuzawa (the righteous man. the noble spirit and just soul in this episode and Mori's antithesis)–#stepping forward to say that he knows strategists from the east (because who else would he need?)#I don't know if it's meant to symbolize the conflict with an hostile and invading foreign power (the Guild).#But it does come across as. A very isolationist way of thinking.#I know it's subtle but it's really evident for me. And I didn't want to talk about this any further…#But by bringing actual examples of this I hope I can better explain why I think that b/sd holds nationalist views–#and that I'm not just making it up out of nowhere. Otherwise I fear I'd only come off as pettily hostile to b/sd in everything#That's it. I feel like I've been losing a lot of mutuals over my main recently due to not shutting up (sorry)#so I suppose it's only fair I lose them on here too pffttt.#Tune in next week for more bad takes#random rambles
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I will be forever grateful i can be on this new med. it's one a lot of folks also need and can struggle to have access to! It's important i be on it, especially if i start doing any vid collabs
(some of which, really, all of which, i unfortunately actually need to cancel that were in the preplanning stages, bc the election results have me wanting to wait and see how the general atmosphere of the country is before i agree to meet up with anyone. I feel bad for cancelling, but also i just can't know for sure how safe things are/might be going forward and I'd rather avoid the potential of. ya know. various not great things that could happen at a meet up, tho i would certainly hope they wouldn't. i don't feel like actually addressing them rn, u guys know what i mean)
That said, if the truvada initial side effects could fuck off asap would be so lovely. three weeks at worst, then they should be gone/much better or so i am told. really hope that's true bc losing my mornings to being dizzy and nauseous is Not Working for me lmao. im on week two, and now understand why my new doc said to call if i needed any 'cheerleading' and support to get thru the side effects, bc apparently she's done that for several ppl to make sure they actually make it thru the three weeks and keep on it (lovely of her!!)
#text post#not going to get into the other painful smack of this morning#suffice to say that medicaid does not in fact fully cover vocal therapy/training for trans ppl#even if ur docs feel incredibly certain it is#if i was making a decent bit over minimum wage at consistent hours and already had my current debts paid off mostly#then I'd happily consider paying the chunk Medicaid won't cover but as of now#it would literally be basically two paychecks if not three to cover the estimate for this first visit#and that's only if the poll would have us polling every week like we did before the election#otherwise we're guesstimating it would be upwards of 4 paychecks to cover it#I'm actually gonna get into in here bc nobody reads all my tag essays (fair valid and correct)#im really sad abt this. my voice gets me clocked a lot and while i can mostly handle like. visually being clocked#my voice giving me away genuinely makes me feel a pain in my chest. i can't get my customer service voice to go lower yet#and even if it's my usual voice I've made minimal progress on my own self done vocal study stuff#so like. no one knows how high it was compared to how it is now tho so no one actually hears it as anything near deep#which it isn't but like. there's been a slightly barely there drop of it per at least a couple ppl in my life#i was probably going to be able to learn how to sing again and find my new range. I'd fix my customer service voice#even if it would only ever be a teeny bit lower than how it is now. it would be lovely#im not gonna get too down tho bc someday hopefully I'll be able to make it happen/afford it#and for now...im doing the bad thing of not cancelling the appt yet#i will bc they're booking out for months and it isn't right of me to take a spot i know i can't keep#but. let me pretend i can for another day or two. maybe until monday. then I'll call or msg them on mychart#and let them know i just don't have the funds rn tho i do deeply appreciate that Medicaid at least pays part of it#im just not at a point where i can cover the rest but that I'll reschedule/have a new referral sent whenever that changes#...and hopefully things in this country will be of such a state that such care is still available to ppl like me.#but that's all we're saying on that bc im already having a pathetic little cry over this#(im fine the med side effects have me crying over everything lol i see a sad commercial and Instant Tears like someone died lmaooo)
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Oh boy look at the time. -checks a reoccurring calendar notification that says 'cry in the club about Xehanort and his abandonment complex'-
#i don't know why this occurs i just periodically get sad about Xehanort again#not a sentence i thought I'd ever write if you asked me a few years ago but like this has been my life for the last year and a half#just periodically getting deeply sad about Xehanort#the sad du jour is about Xehanort aggressively clinging to how being the Child of Destiny means he's totally not unwanted#even if his mom did give him up and his dream friends aren't even really his friends#and maybe his real friends will also reject him if he's insufficiently dogmatic about light and darkness#surely it doesn't matter he's the Child of Destiny he's not UNWANTED perish the thought#and anyway he totally doesn't care even if he IS unwanted. Totally. Totally not hung up on what Baldr said at all.#IT'S FINE. I'M FINE. I'M SO NORMAL ABOUT IT.#khml needs to come out so i stop chewing glass about this [it will probably also make me chew glass]
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#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work#blocked it all out#my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer#breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries#they just diagnosed her two weeks ago#so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends#because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well#but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work#on top of my fulltime#which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it#but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this#for the coming four months at least#so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT.#i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes#then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe?#which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week#which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc#i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer#came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry#but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat#bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.”#“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.”#and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually#but seeing her anger made me see my own anger#and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic#i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more#so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise#doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal#and i am not joking#so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back
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got to love how the bees and undead had such polarising normal polls while jun easily swept eden's poll with an 83~%
#speaking tag#anyway. since none of these characters are normal at all i've been voting on who i thinkhas kind of earned it#like with kohaku#i can confidently say that he is in the top 3 characters in terms of insane backstory. maybe even no.1#but he has genuinely been striving for a sense of normalcy in a way that the other members haven't#big part of his motivation is that he wants to be free !!!! he wants to live a '''''normal''''' life !!!!!!!#it's. not going so well but he's doing his best. i think.#honestly i do feel that a lot of the stuff that makes niki so ''weird'' is just his disability disabling him#and you really can't separate niki from his illness because that would honestly just be stupid#so i do get where people are coming from i guess ??? especially when backstory is taken into account#but he is way more than your local chill guy !!!!#happyele does usually treat him as comedic relief so i can't really blame people for not understanding how deeply concerning niki is#i am. getting off-topic.#anyway i voted for jun and kaoru for the same reasons why i voted for kohaku#they all have so many problems but they're ultimately striving for some level normalcy and i'm acknowledging that#tbh i do understand the people that voted rinne#you know kids that don't get much wiggle room in their childhood so they grow up and just Cause Problems ? yeah that's rinne to me#it's sad and he's weird but it's not an uncommon phenomenon#i just didn't vote for him because he's a little too strange to make the cut but i do think that's intentional#he's actively playing the part of a freak#and i love him#OH YEAH THIS GOES FOR AIRA TOO#all of alk are weird as hell but aira is ''chronically online'' weird which is pretty standard to ''teenage martyr'' kind of weird#maybe this post was just an excuse to ramble about my lukewarm takes in the tags#ooooh you want to discuss enst characters with me sooooo bad
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