#this has just been an absolutely terrible year for our planet and its people and animals

[chainofclovers]

Being a human is literally like this weird combo of being okay and not okay that goes on forever except there is also death

[the---hermit]

We couldn't have made a better choice than deciding to put our old couch on the balcony. I want to stay here all day everyday.

16|07|2024

I have been feeling weirdly overwhelmed lately, for no logical reason since I am on summer break. So to focus on other things I thought I'll might do a small garden update. Your favourite garden gnome hasn't chosen the best year to start a veggie garden on their own. The weather has been terrible and my tomato plants aren't doing super well, they are such delicate plants and they have been struggling a bit. The one thing that makes me feel a little better is all the old people I talk to and tell me their tomato plants are also doing bad. At least I know I am not the one fucking up, it was just an unlucky year. As for my zucchini plants they are doing amazing! They got pretty big, have huge leaves and they have been putting out new zucchini everyday. I am very happy about how well these plants are doing. As for the remaining plants in the rest of my garden they also seem to do pretty well, in particular the rose I planeted last year is doing amazing. I planted it in a pretty difficult spot where every single year whatever I put there died because of the extreme sun exposure. But this rose plant seems to have found its perfect home there. Since spring it has grown so many flowers, it's truly beautiful and the wild bees and other insects seem to love it!

📖: Life Isn't Binary by Alex Iantaffi and MJ Barker (reread of a book I really liked a few years ago, but this time is the translated version and I am absolutely despising some of the choices these translators made, the book is still good tho)

[holly-fixation]

Seraphic and Sinister: Ch5

Summary: Sephiroth learns that he has a child, a lab made specimen existing under the same terrible conditions he was raised in. In a moment of pure rage, he rescues his child. However, his fate has long been sealed, but the child’s fate is unknown. 

Never did he expect the cadet that killed him to take responsibility for the heir of His planet. 

Inspired by various asks to @rottenpumpkin13

Chapter 5: Unwritten Debt

Cloud didn't mind the incredible weight in his arms, balancing the boxes with little outer struggle. He noticed the little looks from Tifa and walked a bit straighter each time, staying just a bit behind as she guided him through the station.

“What was fun about being in SOLDIER?” 

Cloud shrugged. “The comradery. Helping people.”

“So being on a team or maybe community service?”

“Both, I guess. We always had each other's backs. And of course there were the victory parties…”

Tifa looked back at him before stepping onto the train, a joking smirk on her lips. “Did they put Wall Market to shame?”

Cloud scoffed. “...Maybe the drinking games did.”

“What’d you play? Beer pong? Kings cup?”

“Nothing casual. Normally this relay of shots. The winner at one table moved onto the next until basically all of us blacked out.”

“That’s not really a drinking game,” Tifa explained. “And they let you play at sixteen?” 

If he could scratch the back of his head, he would. “Well, no... Younger SOLDIERs usually just kept an eye on everyone to make sure no one was in real danger.”

“Ever the hero then?” 

Mako eyes almost darkened. “Yeah. What about you?”

“Well at that age I was still running morning aerobics classes for the elders.”

“No, I meant…” He sighed, a small shake of his head from bringing up such an old memory, one tainted by fire and betrayal. “I meant after you got to Midgar.”

The train jerked into motion, and Tifa bent her knees for balance. “Well, I worked at a dumpling stand every day for years, saving up every spare Gil I could. Then I met a few friends, bought the bar, and finally got out of the work-eat-sleep loop.”

“Your friends. They still around?”

“Absolutely! You'll probably see them tonight. They always come around the bar to rendezvous.” 

Cloud hummed. For a moment, the air only contained the rhythmic chugging of the wheels.

Tifa shifted, tightening just a bit. Her crimson eyes on the floor. “So um… can I ask the obvious question? About how you've been?”

He glanced around the train car, at the cameras and office workers. “When we out of the station.”

She nodded. “Right… It's not too long of a ride.”

“How’d you meet your friends?”

“A few came by the stand, showed me the life I was missing. I met Barret when he was going through a tough time and everything kind of…clicked.” She looked out the window wistfully as the train began its descent under the plates. “The bar brought us together. Made us feel like a family.”

“You guys must be pretty tight.”

“We try.” She gave him a soft smile and he looked away. “We all have our saviors, right?”

The blond did not speak another word, focusing on the small details of the train car and the rattling between them until they felt the shift of deceleration. Tifa adjusted the bags in her arms and flicked her head toward the door. Cloud nodded, tightening his grip on the supplies. 

Only down the steps and far away from the station did Tifa finally ask her question. 

“How did you really find her?”

Cloud gave her a confused look. 

“You said you found her, so who is she afraid of getting caught by?”

He took a deep breath. “Her parents were on the run from Shinra. They hid her. I found her while troops were searching some abandoned homes. When they found her…” 

Tifa opened the door to Seventh Heaven and let Cloud pass. 

“I lost it. She's been with me since.” 

“Why didn't you drop her off at an orphanage?” She placed the bags of bottles on the bartop. 

Cloud placed the heavy sacks of groceries on a table before scratching his neck. “...You'll see.”

“She can get contacts.”

He shook his head. “I wish it was that easy. What about your friends? You never mentioned what they do.”

“From one Enemy of Shinra to another-”

Cloud scoffed at her exaggeration. 

“We're AVALANCHE.”

He gave his friend a confused look. “Never heard of them.”

“Fighting for The Planet? We're gonna take Shinra down.”

If only it was the first time he heard an impossible promise. “Good luck. Once you're on their radar, they won't leave you alone.”

“You'll have to talk to Barret to see why. He's the leader.”

Cloud separated the boxes and grabbed a tied off plastic bag at the bottom. 

“Are you sure we should go back so soon? I could at least clean up the bar first.”

“She never left me for long. I'm returning the favor.” 

Tifa let out a sigh before they walked to the front doors. The owner inserted the key and clicked them closed before the two friends returned to her apartment. 

Cloud couldn't be more grateful for Tifa's willingness to pay for the contents in his hand. 

Beyond the perfectly balanced pile of wrappers sticking out of the small garbage can, the apartment was pristine, not a single inch out of place. And no little girl. 

“Sera,” Cloud called as he closed the door behind them. “It's okay. You can come out.”

“Are you sure she won't tell anyone? Are you sure everyone under the plates won't either?” A valid question murmured through the closed bathroom door. 

“Not unless there's money in it,” Tifa mentioned with small concern. 

Cloud shook his head. “Shinra’d have to admit they lost you, and that you aren't dead. They're too proud to say it.”

The little girl took a full breath. The door knob turned slowly. 

“It's okay…” the blond pushed a final time. 

As the hinge slowly opened, the girl entered the light with her eyes down and one hand on her sword. Tifa's eyes went wide at the shimmering display of black and silver hair. 

Cloud didn't pay attention to his friend's shock. He went through it too. “Tifa got you something.” 

Sera's head tilted as she lowered her guard, allowing the plastic bag to be placed in her hands. 

“Open it,” The woman with red eyes suggested with a small smile. 

The girl winced a bit before untying the handles and looking inside. “What is it?”

“Pick it up,” The guardian pushed. 

She reached and pulled out the brown fabric with black designs of roses and thorns on the sleeves and wings on the back. Her eyes widened before she grabbed the second piece of fabric and revealed baggy black pants. The third and final selection was plain white and very thin. 

“After I make some Gil, we're gonna go out and buy you some shoes, okay? It's always better to try them on first.” 

She suddenly locked innocent reptilian eyes on Tifa, the woman flinching and tensing in return. “Thank you… Thank you so much.”

The woman didn't answer, simply nodding. 

“Can I put it on now?”

“O-of course,” came another small smile.

The girl grabbed the bag and ran into the bathroom. 

Cloud took a step closer to his old friend, glancing at the door with his arms crossed. “I owe you.”

Tifa brushed him off. “Don't worry about it. That's what upper plate thrift stores are for. But I wouldn't turn down some help at the bar.”

“Hm.”

“...you could’ve picked something cuter though.”

Cloud shook his head at the statement. “She cares more about practicality than looks. Do you still do martial arts?”

“Of course,” Tifa straightened a bit and locked her hands behind her back, pressing her chest forward. “Every day.”

“Then, when she gets comfortable, don’t be surprised if she criticizes your outfit.”

The woman crossed her arms, leaning closer to him with the shadow of a scowl. “And what is that supposed to mean?”

Shit. He grabbed the back of his neck. “I- Just- Um…” He forced his eyes away from those sizzling red ones, shrinking away. “...That it’s not the standard…? That it might be restricting…?” He felt the hole growing deeper and deeper.

“What’s restricting, Cloud?”

“...don’t worry about it…”

Before Tifa threw another word, Sera opened the door to reveal her new outfit, the hood covering a majority of her hair, her hands rubbing the outer sleeves. “It’s so fluffy.” She turned to Tifa, strands of shimmering hair rebelliously leaving confinement within the comfort of the hoodie. “What can we do to help?”

Tifa’s brows lowered in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“You gave me this. What can I do in return?” 

“I’m not gonna ask you for anything.”

The little girl frowned. “What about the bar? I’m sure some help cleaning wouldn’t hurt…”

She sighed. “I won’t stop you, but at some point you’re gonna need money, real money, if you want a place to stay.”

“We’ll make it work…”

“Look,” Cloud interrupted. “Do you know anyone that’s looking for an extra pair of hands right now?”

Realization suddenly flashed on the friend’s face. “...I might know a guy. Maybe you won’t have to worry. How well can you fight?”

Cloud raised a brow. “Ex-SOLDIER. First Class. You’ve seen me at work.”

Tifa glanced away while the little girl once again looked at the floor. “Have you been keeping up since you left?” She mocked his earlier question.

“Do you even have to ask?”

* * * 

The childhood friends and tagalong eventually returned to Seventh Heaven, Cloud showing his strength by stocking and organizing inventory while the little girl scrubbed every corner of the tables, chairs, and wooden floor panels. 

Tifa, regrettably, was regulated to the bartop, tracking every receipt from their inventory replenishment into the written record of finances. She preferred to do the paperwork at night, but there was no saying no to Cloud, and the little girl stole all the cleaning supplies before she even stepped foot in her own bar. Literally. The child ran ahead when leaving her apartment.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Cloud looking around and out the windows. “They have to meet here first anyway.”

“You think they’ll have a job for me?”

She rocked her head side to side as she thought. “There’s a chance. It all depends on if they found someone.”

“And if they can’t pay enough?”

She looked at him, resting a hand on the bartop. “How much were you thinking?”

Cloud glanced at the little girl. “...Two thousand. It might get us a room and a meal. Then we’ll figure it out from there.”

Tifa brought her hand to her chin. “I can ask around tomorrow morning. No reason to go far after finally meeting up again, right?”

He scratched the back of his neck, the smallest of pink dusting his cheeks. “Yeah.”

“There’s always an odd job to do around the sector. If AVALANCHE doesn’t have an opening, we will find something else.”

“You said they’re going after Shinra, right, Miss?” The girl met the two adults with serpentine eyes. 

Tifa nodded, concerned with the coldness in the tone. “That’s right.”

The starry haired child looked away for a moment, squeezing crossed arms before dropping them. “Cloud, are you sure you’ll be okay? I can’t go with you.”

The blond sighed softly before locking with crimson eyes like a puppy.

Damn it. “I’ll keep you safe. Don’t worry.” She leaned on her knees, forcing a kind smile to her lips. “And you’ll have someone to play with. It’s gonna be fun.”

Snake-like eyes hardened. She turned away and continued scrubbing the floor, not acknowledging a single word said. 

Cloud, finished with his own task, took a seat two stools away from his old friend. He whispered, “She doesn’t like it when you talk to her like a kid.”

“She’s a little too young to dislike it already.”

“She’s been through a lot. She’s not your average kid. Just…” He sighed, leaning on the counter. “...I dunno… try?”

She didn’t like the pain in his expression. “I’ll do my best. It’s not something I think about.”

“Thanks.”

The front door suddenly slammed open, three men of all statures and one woman barging in like they owned the place. Tifa saw the child reach for her sword but remain still as a statue. 

“You ain’t gonna believe this!” The tallest man with a gun for an arm boasted, clearly the leader. “Not one- Not ONE- merc in Midgar’s willin’ to fight for The Planet we stand on! What to people think is gonna happen when all the Mako starts dryin’ up with every last shred of life in the world!?”

The woman with the ponytail and red bandana laughed, exacerbated but friendly. “Save us the speech, Barret! We all know exactly what you’re talking about.”

“We can’t pull this off without a fighter. What are we gonna do?” The shorter but large one asked with a small tremble in his voice. 

“What we always do,” The last member nudged him with a kind elbow, clearly trying to project his carefree attitude. “We improvise.”

Tifa addressed her friend first, “I told you I might have a job for you.” She stood up, turning to the group. “Hi, guys. Meet your merc.”

“How?!”

“What!?”

“Where’d you find this cutie?”

“How did you find one? It's inventory day!”

She gestured to each name as she spoke, “Cloud, this is Barret,” the tall man with a gun for an arm, “Jessie,” the only woman of the group, “Biggs,” the carefree member, “and Wedge,” the worrisome one. “Everyone, this is Cloud. An Ex-SOLDIER and an old friend.”

“First Class,” the blond added as he turned and stood. “When do we head out?”

“Hold up, hotshot,” Barret countered. “How do we know you're willin’ to bite the hand that fed you?”

“I've seen first hand what Shinra is capable of and what they're hiding. I've been inside multiple reactors. I know their security protocols and how to navigate them during malfunctions. And after what they did to Tifa and I, you can bet your ass I'll never bow to them again.”

The mention of the shared experience flashed a vague sense of understanding, despite Tifa knowing she never revealed the whole story. 

Half of the restaurant had their lives ruined by Shinra. There was no debating that simple fact. 

“Then how about an audition, blondie?”

“There's no time,” Wedge interrupted. “You have to pick up Marlene if we're doing this tonight.”

“I got ten minutes before I gotta go.”

“Come on, Barret,” Jessie spoke with a devious smirk, “worst case scenario, he's the extra target that keeps security off our butts.”

“I mean, if he can wield a sword like that, I think we're in good shape either way,” Biggs added. 

Cloud removed the Buster Sword from his back, carefully avoiding contact with the ceiling. He held the blade in one hand, pointed toward the ground, before tossing it just below the boundary and catching it easily. He repeated the motion like a child with a tennis ball.

“Well I think that settles it. What's your rate?”

“Two thousand.” 

“Get the hell outta here!”

“A last minute job against the company running the city. It's fair enough.”

Barret grumbled.

“Come on, let's give Soldier Boy a shot,” Jessie suggested, wrapping an arm around Cloud's shoulders. Tifa knew Jessie was just being friendly, but Cloud immediately pushed her off.

“...Be careful…” 

All heads whipped to find the small voice, to a little girl in the corner. 

“Guys!”

“That's not good…”

“You better forget what you heard and run along to your parents, kid.” 

Sera gripped the sword at her side, predatory eyes sharp and pristine. She took a quick but deep breath. “Shinra ruined my life. Ruined my father's life. Ruined Cloud and Tifa's life. I won't say anything, but if I'm leaving, I'm leaving with Cloud.”

“You can't just take our merc!”

“Then make a decision. I can't go with you, but I want that company to burn to the ground.”

“We're not takin’ a kid on a mission anyway.”

“I'm not asking to go with you. I'm asking that you all come back alive.” The little girl looked at Cloud before returning to the team. “I don't know what I'll do if something happens to him.”

“I’ve got this, Sera.”

She looked away again before meeting mako blue eyes and nodding slowly.

.

.

.

.

To be continued…

Chapter list here! 

Thanks for reading!

[melishade]

Number 32?

This ask game

Optimus being nice to the Warrior Cadets in the Dark Timeline. For more context: Part 18: The Warrior Cadets bonding with Optimus

Optimus' holoform unlocked the door to his library and opened it, and the Warrior Cadets were stunned at the sight of books before him. However, Optimus was disappointed at the sight of dust everywhere. Ever since Shockwave's arrival, Optimus had to close the library indefinitely. And now dust had accumulated for over three months.

"It would seem the library needs proper care and maintenance," Optimus proclaimed, "I need to acquire some cleaning supplies. You are more than welcome to wait."

"I can help!" Gabi insisted as she ran up in front of Optimus.

"Gabi!" Falco hissed in warning.

"Alright then," Optimus decided before turning to the others, "If you wish to help me, I would be more than willing to give you access to the library later."

"But only if we help you," Udo pressed in suspicion.

"I would have granted you access regardless if you helped me or not," Optimus declared.

The Warrior Cadets were shocked at this declaration, but Gabi didn't care about his words as she merely followed the Prime to the cleaning closet. When the two returned, they were holding a bucket of water, feather dusters, rags, and a broom. Colt had taken the broom while the other three took the rags. They had all gotten to work on cleaning the library of its dust and spiders. During this time, the other Warrior Cadets couldn't help but notice the way that Gabi was attached to Optimus' side the whole time, unless asked to take care of another dusty spot in the library.

"Mr. Optimus Prime...sir?" Colt spoke up.

"There is no need to be so formal," Optimus reassured, "Optimus will do just fine."

"Okay...Optimus?" Colt didn't like the way it sounded. He was certain the titan commanded great respect. Shouldn't he be given that much? "Why do you have a library?"

"It was a gift to me provided by the Survey Corps," Optimus explained as he wiped one of the shelves, "My previous occupation before the war for my planet was an archivist. Having a library of my own brings back rather fond memories from times of peace."

"I never knew you titans to be so peaceful," Zofia commented.

"Zofia," Udo hissed at her.

"How so?" Optimus asked her.

"Many of the reports we've heard in the past, you were always shown to be violent and deadly," Zofia explained, "And Megatron was always quite rude to us. He put us through grueling training until we couldn't feel our bones, and would constantly try to force us away from him."

"To be fair, we did annoy him quite often." Falco blushed in embarrassment.

Optimus couldn't help but smile at that. "Megatron's life has always been significantly different from mine, so he approaches the world differently. Part of it is not his fault. He was dealt a rather terrible hand in his younger years."

"Are you two friends?" Colt asked him.

"Our current standing is rather complicated," Optimus answered truthfully, "We have known each other for a long time, but we have been enemies longer than we have been friends."

"Megatron does seem like the person who would make more enemies than friends," Zofia added.

"Zofia!" Udo exclaimed, but the Prime chuckled a little, gaining looks of surprise from everyone else.

"Zofia, you are absolutely correct," Optimus told her.

After some time had passed, the library was completely clean. The Warrior Cadets were relieved the cleaning was over, but they couldn't help but notice how elated Optimus looked at the sight. It was a subtle expression in those strangely human eyes, but he looked happy to see his library in a better condition. He was so different from Megatron.

"Is there anything you wish to choose from the library?" the question even seemed happier, like he was eager to share his knowledge. But they were nervous. Marleyan history had told them that Eldian history was full of savagery and violence. Their history was that of stealing from other people. Why would they learn of their savage brutality? It would just make them feel more guilty.

"Is something wrong?" Optimus asked them.

"Isn't the Eldian history...just full of violence?" Gabi asked. She knows from Optimus' memories through the cortical psychic patch, and her experiences on the island, that the Eldians here were just normal people. But their history must still be the same right?

Optimus' eyes widened in realization. "That is right. It would be classified information."

"What's classified?" Colt asked.

"Over a century ago," Optimus began as he walked towards the shelf, "the king of the Eldian Empire had come to the island, taking a handful of his people with him."

Optimus grabbed a small stool and placed it beneath him to climb and reach the top shelf. "To prevent the people of the island from attacking the people outside, he used the powers of the Founder to wipe the memories of every Eldian, with a few non-Eldians and Ackermans as exceptions. He had also created a vow-renouncing war, that would bar any future descendant from using the full powers of the Founding Titan."

Optimus grabbed a few books on the island's history before stepping down the stool. "The Walls believed from then on that they were the last of the human race, and the only one who knew the truth of the outside world was the king, and all of the descendants after him. As a result, the Wall's history evolved differently."

Optimus noticed their stunned expressions at this information. Right, this must be a shock to all of them considering what they had been taught since birth. "If you wish, I can read to you this information."

"A-are you sure sir?" Colt asked.

"My library and its contents are open to all who wish to learn," Optimus proclaimed as he saw down. Gabi sat down eagerly next to the Prime, and beckoned the others to join. Curiosity ultimately got the better of them and they all ended up seated in a circle.

Optimus the first book and began to read aloud to them. "I was just a girl, when my father took us to celebrate the seventy-fifth year safe within the walls. We lived in a small village, and it took us a week to reach Wall Maria.

Here, I touched a Wall for the first time - feeling brave, with my father to protect me from the rumbling footsteps of the Titans far beyond!- but my mother drew me aside and bade me to look at the valley below us, with villages and comforting greens, so far off I could hardly see it in Wall Rose.

"Remember," she told me, "the miracle of the Walls is not what they are, but what they make possible."

I have taken her words to heart; this travel guide is a study of the world within the Walls."

"Who is this by?" Udo asked, before quickly covering his mouth. All the Warrior Cadets grew nervous. Was Optimus going to answer them?

"A woman named 'Mitras Quarterly'," Optimus answered him, "She was actually kind enough to come to my library and donate her travel guide. She thought it would be good to have it accessible to the general public. She appreciated the Walls and everything it had to offer, and was deeply saddened when Wall Maria fell. But she was content to here it reclaimed from the titans and decided to visit that section of the Walls once more to help rebuild it."

"You...you don't mind us asking questions?" Udo asked him.

"Knowledge is power," Optimus explained, "To keep that knowledge from you, would be unethical as an archivist, and as someone who values freedom."

"So...what did she write about Wall Maria?" Gabi asked. Optimus smiled a little before he continued to read aloud. He indulged their questions and queries about the world within the Walls.

(This dialogue was actually from the first chapter of the Attack on Titan Anthology, and there's definitely more information if you want to take a look. 58 has been asked, but the rest is free game.)

[willknightauthor]

The Art of Worldbuilding

Thought I'd spread the good word of worldbuilding on Youtube. There are so many great channels that approach it as an artform in its own right, teaching you how to do it, analyzing how others have done it, or doing it themselves.

Curious Archive analyzes the themes in the worlds of video games, films, and art books. One of my absolute favorite channels of all time.

Hello Future Me makes videos and writes books about writing and worldbuilding, and has been doing it for years.

Artifexian is the worldbuilding ur-channel. He got his start covering conlanging, solar system formation, and geography. Then he started teaching people how to use worldbuilding programs. Then he started taking submissions and showing them off with constructive criticism. Now he's on a mission to build a whole world from start to finish, and showing everyone how he does it.

William SRD uses video games as an entry point to discuss TTRPGs, their commercial and cultural histories, and their world lore. There are many obscure worlds and games he's the only one to cover in high quality.

Biblaridion started out as a conlanging channel, but became known for his top tier xenobiology videos.

Terrible Writing Advice uses ironically bad advice to show all the terrible cliches in speculative fiction and worldbuilding, and explain why they don't make sense.

Worldbuilding Notes is a secret gem made by a Polish illustrator. She's constantly conceiving worlds from a simple but surreal premise, and logically building them out from there. My favorite world of her's has a country where most women reproduce asexually.

Tales of Kaimere is a professional paleontology illustrator. He has a whole channel for displaying and explaining the illustrations for his science-fantasy world where he sets his books. A magical colonial organism transports plants and animals from Earth to another planet, and so its evolutionary history is both similar and completely different from our own--like dinosaurs coexisting with whales, and multiple species of human. (He's also on Tumblr, though inactive.)

Yinka is a new channel I just found. He's still working the kinks out, but his channel has a lot of potential.

And now I just found Monstergarden, which may be the most popular worldbuilding channel on Youtube, based on sub numbers and views. Given how high quality it is, I get why. Holy shit.

[delta62]

Story ideas

So I've been thinking about this for a long time, and for whatever reason, now seems like a good time to finally start writing a story of mine in a public setting.

Lassies, Laddies, and Lassens, I give to you the Saga of Amon Seign and the Zakrat! This story takes place both in our current day world and on the world of Zevel, a place that is quite similar to our own, yet is filled with magic and magical creatures. However, this ain't your normal high-fantasy and sci-fi setting, no no no... Instead, Amon Seign has something of a unique connection with our world, being that it possesses the ability to create gateways from its world to our world, and has been doing so for the last 5,000 years. In that time, Amon Seign has always maintained a strict policy of keeping their presence unknown to the population of Earth, blending in and infiltrating nearly every civilization on the planet to have a nearly constant stream of information on human activity in the world. Yet, Amon Seign is a country that is full of emotion and full of dreamers of a better world, as such, they are swayed heavily by the suffering of other people and the desire to preserve cultures and peoples that may be lost in our world. It is with that in mind that Amon Seign established the Enclave System, wherein people from our world on the verge of extinction, genocide, massacre, etc., would be saved from their fate to live out their lives and prosper in Zevel. It is through this system that people like Jews, Taínos, Wu Hus, Congolese, Armenians, Ezidis, and many dozens of other people have been able to escape what was a terrible fate and grew their culture completely safe from the persecutions that they subjected to. In the current day, these people, who were on the brink of destruction, now number in the hundreds of millions combined.

All of these people live under the protection of the Faisaldom of Amon Seign. Taken from the Arabic word for a "Decisive Ruler", a Faisal is what would have happened if the Enlightened Absolute Monarch idea came to people 5,000 years early. The Faisal of Amon Seign is the absolute ruler of the country with their authority being second to none. However, the Faisal is supposed to take care of their citizens in a manner that makes them connected with their people and allows for a far more just society than one might imagine. It also helps that within Seignian Law, there is no charge for rebellion, meaning that similar to the German legal system, should the Faisal oppress their people, the people have the legal right to rebel and depose the Faisal. It is fortunate, then, that throughout Seignian history, the Faisal has only been deposed a handful of times, only to be replaced by a different family member of the same family. That family is that of Blackhearts, and despite their name, they have, generally, been quite kind people and rulers, with the latest Faisal, Sebastian, being an avowed pacifist and following through on his principles and dismantling most of the Seignian Military except for some ceremonial units and a part of the Aerial Forces, which his children and grandchildren are intimately involved in developing.

Amon Seign is by and large the supreme power in the world of Zevel, having conquered the majority of the planet through both arms and diplomacy, and most places not controlled by them are instead under their suzerainty. Interestingly enough, these vassal states are made up of particular groups from Earth which Amon Seign has used as a sort of pre-conditioned soldiery for the areas that were conquered. For example, in the northern part of the continent, the Seignian forces used Gothic, Visigothic, and Nordic refugees that were already accustomed to winter war to quickly conquer the northern lands. On the home continent of Amon Seign, the Faisaldom is surrounded on on sides by large vassal states that are made up of various groups from Earth. In the north, Gothic, Visigothic, and Nordic peoples rule over the Kingdom of Reitgotland. To the east, Ezidi and Kurdish people rule the Kurdish Republic. To the southwest, Ikko Ikki adherents rule over a revived Ikko Ikki Monastic order, while to the southeast, survivors of the Miao Rebellions rule over the United Jiuli. To the upper southwest, Native American nations of both the plains and the coast rule over the United Nations Confederacy (much to the confusion of the Earth United Nations), and in the lower northwest, the Herero and Namaqua peoples rule over the United Kingdom of the Herero and Namaqua (Again, much to the confusion of the United Kingdom of Earth). Each of these nations swore fealty to Amon Seign to preserve and protect the Faisaldom and to stay in a pact of mutual defense and economic goodwill.

However, within Zevel, there are two nations that are part of what could be called the "free nations", of Zevel, which never swore that fealty. The first and original of these nations is the Republic of the Arashii-Kai, a pirate republic spanning a large island chain in the northern part of the world and several smaller island chains throughout the rest of the world. Thanks to Amon Seign's lackluster navy, the Arashii-Kai have been able to maintain their independence from Amon Seign, in spite of numerous attempts to stem it. The other nation to be considered a "free nation" is the United Workers' Communes of Southern Amon Seign. As could be guessed by their name, they are a sizable nation, comprising one-eighth of Amon Seign's original borders in the southeast of the country. What could also be guessed by their name is the fact that they are no friends of capitalists, but instead are made up of various socialist and anarchist citizens who were shunned by capitalists, fascists, and state socialists alike. The Communards were given their lands in an extraordinary peace agreement with Faisal Sebastian who stayed true to his pacifistic principles and prevented a general leftist uprising while also creating a socialist state in the middle of his country.

Amon Seign has been at peace for many years, and has not seen a major war since the great Final Conquest of the Ravensbruch Alliance in the southern part of the country nearly 300 years ago. Yet, the winds of war are howling loud for this seemingly peaceful nation. The Zakrat, who have been the constant ally of the Seignians since their inception, have sparked a civil war within their ranks, turning the once peaceful lands of Amon Seign into a battlefield for their ideologies. Worse yet is that there seems to be yet another force operating in the shadows as well, that is neither Seignian or Zakrat that seeks both of their destructions. Whatever is the case, Amon Seign, The Great City, will stand tall in the face of this danger. It will not falter in its ideals, nor will she fail her people. She will persevere through this conflict and come out stronger than ever before. For Amon Seign! For the Light! For the People!

[i-am-literally-deranged]

Again, I don't care to write numbers but here are your questions for the ask game ~

What’s a bad habit you picked up this year?

What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year?

Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one

Ennnnnioy~~

Oh man, the home thing is a pretty big one! My living situation has been pretty goofy for a while, but earlier this year I moved back in with my mom, and it's actually surprisingly been really good. Since I've come back, our relationship has been improving a lot. We've been getting along better than we have since I was little, and I'm really grateful that I've had the opportunity to live with her again and for that to be a positive experience.

This bad habit isn't exactly a new one, but an old one that I overcame and then it came back with a vengeance this year. Randomly ghosting people. I sometimes find myself sort of immobilized when it comes to replying to people, and I'd put some real effort into getting over it and message people anyway. But man this last year I have absolutely been slipping. I don't think I've initiated a conversation with, like, anyone at all. I reply, sometimes. I've been TERRIBLE about just dropping off the face of planet earth periodically because I had one too many things on my mind and lost patience for any and all human interaction. I do feel bad about it at least.

Also the SHEER EXCITEMENT OF GETTING ASKED ABOUT CHARACTERS OH BOY!!

While I've mostly worked on continuing older projects this year featuring older characters, I DID write a short story featuring some new faces this year!

It follows Evan Juliet, a seer, and the demon that has taken up residence in his home.

Jin, a gambling demon, was doing pretty well for himself in the soul collecting game. Maybe a little too well, for an independent operator who didn't care too much for the intricacies of demonic hierarchies. His success caught the eye of a demon king, not something you ever want to do, and in a single night's confrontation with them was stripped of almost all of his power. In desperate need of a place to crash, and a soul to steal, Jin was ready to try just about anything.

Evan had never done anything well for himself in his entire short, miserable life. He was the sort of perfectly mediocre that was destined to fall through the cracks from day one. When his father died, he inherited just enough money to not be poor enough for benefits, but not nearly enough to be comfortable, along with a house that was haunted in more ways than one. Most of that mediocrity was a direct product of the terrible, terrible fear that governed his existence. You see, Evan was gifted with the curse of seeing that which ordinary humans do not. Haunted all his life by visions of spirits, and terrified to do anything that might catch their attention, he hid away and did as little of any note as possible.

He was mostly successful in avoiding the notice of any of the incorporeal beasts that stalked in the corners of his vision, until he found his house had been broken into. When he goes to accept his fate, no doubt dying at the hands of burglars, two things are realized simultaneously. Jin realizes that this boy can see him, and Evan realizes that his house was never broken into at all.

From here, they strike a deal. Jin will teach Evan everything he needs to know to not only keep himself safe from the spirits that have tormented him since he was small, but how to hunt them and profit off of it too. In exchange, anything that Evan hunts is given to Jin to claim its soul and slowly rebuild his power.

The short story, or more collection of short stories, is a sort of odd couple buddy cop thing where the two of them hunt ghosts and such together. Jin takes on a sort of fatherly role in Evan's life, and they get unexpectedly close. I spend a frankly disproportionate amount of time on how magic works in this world, because I'm a fucking nerd, but the main focus of it all is on their dynamic, and Jin coming into this fatherly role and finding their place together. It's called Necromancy For Dummies, and the whole thing will never ever see the light of day, but you can see some excerpts from it because I like you, and also I can never keep my projects to myself

Here's the original concept drawings of them from early this year when I was kinda figuring out what I wanted to do with them

+ the most recent drawing of Evan (left), which is an abandoned wip ft another entirely unrelated character

[mosspan]

A big issue around this unending debate is the game's framing of Venat and her terrible, inexcusable actions after a well done framing of Emet-Selch's. Emet was built to be a stereotypical Disney-like villain in every way. Every classic villain trope was crammed into the dude, and that along with the overreaching theme of light and darkness, the switching thereof in the physics lore and metaphorically, we got a drenched-in-villainy morally grey character who yes, at the end of the day was in the wrong. But the entire thing was to play with those tropes, to play with the placement of hero and villain, and like almost every character/story line in FFXIV brought forth empathy for people who have to make difficult decisions. This was a perfect setup for foiling Venat as someone who for 7 game years has been a holy presence barely shown to be anything but the very idea pure goodness. So we got a better glimpse at Venat's original evil actions in Endwalker not just from the unreliable Emet. She ended an entire planet's worth of lives. She destroyed civilizations, countless animals, families, humanity's progress. When I think about her resolve being made even before Zodiark appears, I always have Alphinaud's words to Emet in my head- we are here now, it is our turn. I think the game's framing of Amaurot and unsundered Etheirys is far too tunnel vision and character driven, and fails to show the multitude of people who would be living normal lives. Venat's actions are shown almost solely up against an animal testing facility and the Convocation. The idea that Etheirys at the time wasn't a paradise is a mute point- we currently live in something far far more removed from a paradise, and yet for one person to end it due to their own view of right/wrong with just twelve other people at their side is absolute villainy. Also the idea that the Amaurotine's civilization was undeniably bad because we see them experimenting in ways far more humane than what happens in our world daily keeps popping up and it makes me wonder if every single one of those posters are vegan. But despite this, and despite that sliver of light we got out of Emet's character, Venat's actions that are equivalent to Emet's get a small blip of attention from the game and fans. She says sorry, our fight with her is framed as a sad, loving moment instead of something that should be done to remove someone who has done horrible deeds and has too much power (and if old lore and hints are applicable anymore, is probably draining the star of its aether). So while we get those more tender Emet moments and actions which do not cancel his evil, Venat was given nothing of the villainous branding needed which would still allow her good to show, and if anything her actions are shown more as a struggle thrust upon her than a self-centered choice. Because that's one of the main faults we're given of the Ancients- they work too independently, believing they alone have an answer and Venat was no exception.

So whenever I see annoyance from both sides of the isle, I think many times its an inability to accept the grey of both characters- we just didn't get it properly in the second round and it makes people far too loving and unable to read Venat's narrative vs frame, and that really pisses off a lot of Ascian fans in the same way the more extreme ones were pissing off everyone after Shadowbringers.

I’ve realized that many of the FFXIV fandom’s cold and media illiterate takes stem from the fact that certain fans have no clue how to recognize an unreliable character.

Emet-Selch/Hades is a perfect example of this. There’s a specific subset of FFXIV fans who don’t understand that while he’s a sympathetic character, he’s also EXTREMELY unreliable.

He OPENLY ADMITTED that he was tempered; his views were based on judgemental bias and millennia of grief, exacerbated by that tempering. And Endwalker only confirmed that unsundered Etheirys was never the “paradise” he insisted it was.

Fans who don’t understand that Emet-Selch is unreliable almost always misunderstand Shadowbringers and Endwalker. They claim that the Scions and Hydaelyn/Venat were somehow the “real villains” and that the story “doesn’t acknowledge their wrongdoing”.

But in reality, these fans’ interpretations never applied to FFXIV’s story. They’ve failed completely to understand the message, but have convinced themselves that everyone else is wrong.

[k-s-morgan]

I hope you're okay. Whenever I see more terrible news out of Ukraine I think of you and how you're doing. I hope you and you family are alright and I desperately wish the horror would end.

Anyways, since I was thinking about you I wanted to drop in to say that I love your stories and all of your meta. You really dive so deep into all of these characters and it's always a joy to read.

All told, with everything going on, it's hard not to feel a bit hopeless lately. Those Gentle Slopes is basically my comfort reread fic (Though I absolutely love Tomarry and WHGTB, Sebaciel has wrapped its inky claws of hyperfixation around my heart). Reading and enjoying such a good story makes me feel like maybe we're all just swapping fanfic as if we were telling tales around the campfire, tending our little flames to help keep the darkness at bay, and it makes things a little bit better.

Sending good vibes and hugs for all your pets from the other side of the planet.

Thank you so much for your kind words! Today, unfortunately, I’m feeling down as well. Things have been mostly quiet for the last few days, but the situation overall... I don’t think anyone is interested in stopping this war any time soon, and the perspectives are bleak. I don’t know how to live in a world like this, constantly fearing the end of everything. This isn’t normal and such pressure is slowly dragging me down.  

I’m really glad that you liked my stories and metas. These things are giving me a lot of joy, and I’m happy if other people find them useful/entertaining. 

Hoping for the world to live on peacefully and for us to keep enjoying fandoms for years and decades to come. 

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 301: All My Todorokis

Previously on BnHA: We learned that when a bunch of superpowered villains are suddenly set loose with nobody around to stop them, things get fucked pretty quickly. Old Man Samurai and a bunch of other useless people decided to make “I pretend I do not see it” their new mantra, and resigned. Endeavor had a moment of despair on account of being crushed by the guilt of having ruined the lives of himself, his family, and basically everyone else in the entire world. For various reasons the heretical notion of “person who has done bad things feels sorry for doing them” sent fandom spiraling into a meltdown, so that was fun. The chapter ended with the entire Todoroki clan descending upon Enji’s hospital room to have a dramatic chat about Touya and All That General Fuckery.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “here’s the story of how Baby Touya slowly went insane trying to win his father’s love.” It’s a tale full of subverted expectations and heartbreaking inevitability, and also like twenty panels of the cutest fucking kids who ever existed on planet earth, who are so fucking cute that I can’t stop thinking about their cuteness even with all of the horrifying family tragedy unfolding around them. It is absolutely ridiculous how cute they are. Touya is out here pushing his tiny body past its limits because he inherited the same obsession as his dad and neither of them can put it aside even though it’s destroying them, and yet all I can think about is Baby Shouto’s (。･o･｡) face. Anyways what a chapter.

so I have to confess that even though I managed to avoid being caught off-guard by the early leaks, the number of people reblogging my Endeavor posts from earlier this week and using the tag “bnha 301” kind of gave me an inkling that this chapter will include more Tododrama lol. that said, I don’t know anything else about it, so we’re still good spoiler-wise

AHHHHH FLAHSBAKC AHHHH. omg I know I typoed the shit out of that, but I’m just going to leave it lol I think it’s fitting

holy shit holy fuck. so this is Rei and Enji’s first meeting, then??

yepppp, oh shit

so wait, I know this is not even the slightest bit important, but are they meeting at Enji’s home or Rei’s? because I always figured that Enji was the one with the super-Japanese aesthetic, but maybe that was Rei’s side of the family all along

(ETA: from what I found during my very brief google search, omiai meetings are often held at fancy hotels or restaurants, so maybe that’s what this is.)

there’s such a period drama feel to this setting. like it’s so outrageously formal fff how can anyone stand this kind of atmosphere though seriously

OH THANK GOD

I mean they’re still stiff af but at least they’re not rigidly sitting in seiza and staring at each other unblinkingly anymore lol. Enji’s actually got his hands in his pockets now. why is this somehow almost cute

oh damn it’s the flowers

Rei seems so subdued and it’s so hard to get any idea of what she’s actually thinking. I want to see her side of this dammit

but anyway, so at least from Enji’s perspective it seems like even though the marriage was arranged and he picked her because of her quirk, he still loved his wife and wanted to do right by her. the fact that he was watching her and noticed that she liked the flowers, and remembered that detail for all these years -- there’s a reason why Horikoshi’s showing us this. we know what’s going to happen later on; we know how much fear and violence and breaking of trust is coming up ahead, and while it may seem like this scene is serving to soften Enji’s character further -- which to be fair it is -- it also helps drive home the full impact of his abuse. that it’s so terrible not only because of the trauma of the abuse itself, but also because of the way it retroactively destroys all of the good things as well. this could have potentially been such a sweet scene, but it’s inescapably tainted by the knowledge of what’s to come, at least for me. and that’s just brutal

anyways, shit. is the whole chapter going to be like this?? feel free to toss in something I can actually make a joke about sometime, Horikoshi

oop, back to the present

omfg lol

“are you all right” “NO I’M NOT ALL RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK.” “oh, right, because of all the stuff that’s happened with me abusing you and you having a mental breakdown and being hospitalized for ten years and then our son coming back to life and killing thirty people, right, right. I almost forgot.” whoops

omfg you guys I’m loving this new and improved steely-eyed Rei. I’m loving her a lot

and what do you mean “part one” fkjds how long is this going to be. TOO MUCH DRAMA FOR ONE CHAPTER TO HANDLE

oh, hello

yeah I’ll say you did. didn’t seem to bother you much at the time, though

HMMMMMMMMMMMM

Dabi Is A Noumu intensifies even further. anyways though would you fucking look at this boy lounging on this moth-eaten couch doing his best DRAW ME LIKE YOUR FRENCH GIRLS impression wtf

Dabi what if you actually had killed him??? what would you feel?? satisfaction?? regret?? anything at all?? tell me your secrets goddammit

who are you talking to buddy

Fuyumi-chan, Natsu-kun (is it common for brothers to address each other as -kun?? can’t recall seeing that in many other anime, but hey), and “dot dot dot,,,,,, SHOUTO” lol thank you so much for this bountiful heaping of Tododrama Horikoshi we are blessed

AH, WHAT DID I SAY THE OTHER DAY

ULTIMATE MELODRAMATIC THEATER CHILD. “I’M JUST GOING TO LIE ON THIS COUCH SHIRTLESS AND ALONE AND MAKE SPEECHES TO MY FAMILY MEMBERS WHO AREN’T THERE AND SAY THINGS LIKE ‘WATCH ME IN THE PITS OF HELL’ WITH A STRAIGHT FACE BECAUSE NO ONE’S THERE TO JUDGE ME.” WELL JOKE’S ON YOU MISTER CHATTERBOX BECAUSE I AM IN FACT JUDGING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU LOL

(ETA: and on a more serious note, it’s interesting to see that “look at me”/”watch me” theme being used again though, because we see that same sentiment uttered repeatedly by the younger Touya in the flashback. well kid, you definitely got your wish at last. don’t know what else to say.)

OKAY HORIKOSHI HAS DECIDED THAT’S ENOUGH FUN, TIME FOR MORE FLASHBACKS

oh my sweet precious lord

just as cute as we left him. giving us a child this cute when we all know full well what’s going to happen to him is just unspeakably cruel though

HOMG

I’m fucking speechless. you broke me, congratulations. what am I even supposed to do with this

I can’t get over this. moving forward my life will be split into two distinct parts, B.P. (Before the Pout) and A.P. (After the Pout)

and meanwhile there’s ALL THIS BACKGROUND ANGST BUILDING UP, AND I CAN’T EVEN FOCUS ON IT. Touya’s arm and cheek are covered in bandages (I’m guessing this is shortly after that “ouch!” panel we got some chapters back), and Enji is deliberately avoiding training with him because he doesn’t want him to hurt himself further. I can’t fucking get over the irony that all this time everyone thought Touya had died because Enji pushed him too far in his training, and it turns out that it’s the opposite -- the tragedy ultimately happened because he didn’t want to push him. but I’m jumping ahead of myself though I guess

by the way,

remember this?? just wanted to remind you that it exists just in case you forgot

so now someone is talking and basically saying that Touya is the exact opposite of what Enji was hoping for when he decided to start playing with quirk genetics

-- okay hold up

...lol no, never mind. for a second I thought “holy shit he looks kind of familiar WHAT IF IT’S UJIKO OMG” before I remembered that Enji would have recognized him during the hospital capture mission if that was the case. so NEVER MIND, PROCEED

IMAGINE THAT, ENJI DOESN’T QUITE SEEM SATISFIED WITH THIS SUGGESTION OF QUITTING NOW

(ETA: how the fuck did this man go around saving 62 towns in a single day what even is All Might.)

[clicks tongue several times] trouble a’brewin’

MEANWHILE BABY TOUYA HAS UNFORTUNATELY INHERITED HIS DAD’S STUBBORN STREAK

KLDIHWOEIJFL:KSDJ

!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god. oh my god. what is this chapter. WHAT IS IT

so now Touya is all “YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND MY MANLY DESIRE TO BURN MYSELF ALIVE” well you got her there champ

THEY’RE TOO CUTE. OH MY GOD. HIS FURIOUS LITTLE TEARS. HER CHUBBY LIL FACE. HIS STUBBY LIL FISTS. SOMEONE HELP ME

also are they just home alone lol or what. “hey Touya, you’re what, like six now?? do us a favor and look after your baby sister for a couple hours for us would you? make sure not to set yourself on fire or anything.” WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG!!

now it’s nighttime and Enji and Rei are arguing, presumably about his decision not to train Touya anymore

whew. okay. so, a couple of things here

1. first of all I think this conclusively shows that Enji really was trying to do the best he could for Touya. he stopped training him as soon as he realized it was hurting him, but Touya was still determined so he tried to make it work anyway, and even visited doctors to try and figure out if there was anything they could do. then, once they were absolutely sure that it wasn’t going to work, he tried multiple times to explain to Touya why they had to stop. he didn’t just abandon him out of the blue, which is really important to note. “no matter how much I tried telling him...”

so yeah, that debunks another common fandom accusation. so by the time he finally makes this decision, which we all know is going to turn out horribly, it’s basically because he’s already tried everything else he could think of. which, by the way, still doesn’t mean he handled this right. but at the very least he was taking Touya’s feelings into account and he was trying, and he didn’t just abruptly toss his son aside (at least not yet)

2. buuuut, then there’s this panel right below all that

which is the other side of it. if he’d just quit like the doctor person advised him to, that would have been the end of it. Touya would still have been upset, but he would have eventually gotten over it and the family would have moved on and possibly even been happy. but what happens next happens because Enji can’t let go. he still has this maddening urge to surpass All Might, and so he and Rei keep having more children, and then Shouto is born, and Enji finally has a kid he can start projecting all of his hysterical ambitions onto once again, and everything starts spiraling out of control soon after

though p.s. none of that is Shouto’s fault though!! he’s one of the few good things to come out of this whole mess and I’m very happy that he exists. the tragedy is that his dad fucking lost his mind over his quirk and fucked everything up. but that’s on him, not Touya or Shouto

anyways, SLKFJLSHGLKJL

I CAN’T FUCKING TAKE THIS YOU GUYS??? LOOK AT THAT LIL BUTTON OF A NOSE??? I’M LOSING IT HERE???

AND TOUYA JUST SEEMS DEVASTATED OMG

because children aren’t stupid, after all. he understands that his dad is still looking to surpass All Might. and so he feels like a failure, and feels like his dad is trying to replace him because he wasn’t good enough. and even now, isn’t that what the adult Touya is trying to prove?? that he was good enough after all?? “I’ll show you what happens when you give up on me, dad”?? “I’ll show you what I can do”?? fuck my life fuck everything

AND YOU CAN SEE THE TOLL THAT IT’S ALL TAKING ON REI GETTING WORSE AND WORSE AS WELL OH GOD

really nice touch here with the panel outlines becoming all shimmery from the heat of Endeavor’s flames (and/or becoming more unstable as the family gets closer and closer to their breaking point). but man, Horikoshi I can’t handle this, please show us more cute kids or something I can’t

GKELKWFJLDKSHFLKL

WITTLE BABE. BEEB. BUBS. SMOL. lkj; oh ouch a piece of my heart just detached and latched onto him huh look at that

TODOROKI “I’M SO SMALL AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON AND I DIDN’T ASK TO BE HERE” SHOUTO AHHHHH

crazy how they all just seem to know right off the bat lol. kid doesn’t even have object permanence yet, let alone a quirk. but do they care?? IT’S THE HAIR, RIGHT. WE’RE ALL THINKING IT, I’M JUST GONNA COME OUT AND SAY IT. they knew the minute they looked at him lol

AND MEANWHILE TOUYA IS OFF HAVING UNSUPERVISED TRAINING/CRYING SESSIONS IN THE MOUNTAINS OR WHATEVER, AND, UH OH

are those blue flames yet?? they seem pretty close

(ETA: this is one of the few cases where the manga being in black and white is infuriating lol.)

OH MY GOD AND STILL

so it’s not like he was so disinterested that he didn’t notice what was happening, and he was still trying to stop it and get through to him. trying to reassure him that it wasn’t the end of the world and there were other things he could do with his life, but this one particular thing just wasn’t going to happen

fucking hell. it’s agonizing seeing how close they actually were to fixing it. if he’d only said the right words, or if he’d realized at this point how destructive his obsession could be to his kids, and backed off from putting that same pressure on Shouto. we came so close to possibly having a happy ending

AND ALSO THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING BUT PLEASE LOOK AT HOW TOUYA IS LIKE THREE AND A HALF FEET TALL AND HIS DAD IS LIKE NINE AND A HALF FEET. Touya barely comes past his knees flkjlkg. the Todoroki household must have been so filled with like plastic stepstools to reach the bathroom sink and all the little baby toothbrushes, and baby gates to keep the kiddos out of the important grown-up rooms and stuff. and also days-old half-empty cups of water and stale crackers and hot wheels and my little ponies strewn everywhere

“BUT EVERYONE AT SCHOOL SAYS THEY’RE GONNA BE HEROES” a wild Deku parallel appears?? how bout that

I know this is like a pivotal moment in the Todo Tragedy and all, but fucking look at this lil dumpling

“sup bro, it’s me, the manifestation of your fears of inadequacy and lack of fatherly affections. a GAAA. ba-baAA-baa [gurgling baby sounds]”

OHHHHH IT’S THE SOUND OF MY HEART BREAKING OH NO

HE WANTS TO BE LIKE YOU ENJI. good lord somebody please just get this family some therapy

“DAD YOU IGNITED IT IN ME” flkjslkj nope, nope. not ready for this pain here

baby Shouto, would you like to weigh in on this affair? “DA!! ba-ga-daaa, [pacifier chewing noises]” oh my, you don’t say. so insightful for one so young

OH MY GODDDDDD

IT’S SO DRAMATIC BUT ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT ARE THE SHOUNEN WOOSH LINES SURROUNDING FOUR-MONTH-OLD SHOUTO LOL HE WAS LIKE THIS FROM BIRTH OH MY GOD I AM DYING HELP

SHOUTO YOU’RE RUINING THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER!?!?!

“yo, the fuck kind of family was I fucking born into” oh, son. if you only knew. IF YOU ONLY KNEW!!

(ETA: lmao I got so distracted by the ridiculous cuteness that I glossed over the fact that Baby Touya seems to possibly be aiming at him?? it’s hard to tell because he’s also super out of it from heatstroke and may just be losing control in his attempt to show off his upgrade.)

ANYWAY THAT’S THE END EXCEPT WHAT’S THIS LAST LINE OMG

ffffff. and we’re in for ANOTHER chapter of this next week?? MORE drama?? MORE BABIES?? MORE OF EIGHT-YEAR-OLD TOUYA’S SLOW DESCENT INTO MADNESS. MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT, BUT ALSO YES PLEASE SIGN ME UP

[mostlymovieswithmax]

Movies I watched in May

Sadly, I kind of skipped writing a post for April. It was a mad month with so much going on: lots of emails sent and lots of stress. I started a new job so I’m getting to grips with that... and even then, I still watched a bunch of movies. But this is about what I watched in May and, yeah… still a bunch. So if you’re looking to get into some other movies - possibly some you’ve thought about watching but didn’t know what they were like, or maybe like the look of something you’ve never heard of - then this may help! So here’s every film I watched from the 1st to the 31st of May 2021 Tenet (2020) - 8/10 This was my third time watching Christopher Nolan’s most Christopher Nolan movie ever and it makes no sense but I still love it. The spectacle of it all is truly like nothing I’ve ever seen. I had also watched it four days prior to this watch also, only this time I had enabled audio description for the visually impaired, thinking it would make it funny… It didn’t.

Nomadland (2020) - 6/10 Chloé Zhao’s new movie got a lot of awards attention. Everyone was hyped for this and when it got put out on Disney+ I was eager to see what all the fuss was about. Seeing these real nomads certainly gave the film an authenticity, along with McDormand’s ever-praisable acting. But generally I found it quite underwhelming and lacking a lot in its pacing. Nomadland surely has its moments of captivating cinematography and enticing commentary on the culture of these people, but it felt like it went on forever without any kind of forward direction or goal. The Prince of Egypt (1998) - 6/10 I reviewed this on my podcast, The Sunday Movie Marathon. For what it is, it’s pretty fun but nowhere near as good as some of the best DreamWorks movies.

Chinatown (1974) - 8/10 What a fantastic and wonderfully unpredictable mystery crime film! I regret to say I’ve not seen many Jack Nicholson performances but he steals the show. Despite Polanski’s infamy, it’d be a lie to claim this wasn’t truly masterful. Howl’s Moving Castle (2004) - 8/10 Admittedly I was half asleep as I curled up on the sofa to watch this again on a whim. I watched this with someone who demanded the dubbed version over the subtitled version and while I objected heavily, I knew I’d seen the movie before so it didn’t matter too much. That person also fell asleep about 20 minutes in, so how pointless an argument it was. Howl’s Moving Castle boasts superb animation, the likes of which I’ve only come to expect of Miyazaki. The story is so unique and the colours are absolutely gorgeous. This may not be my favourite from the legendary director but there’s no denying its splendour.

Bāhubali: The Beginning (2015) - 3/10 The next morning I watched some absolute trash. This crazy, over the top Indian movie is hilarious and I could perhaps recommend it if it weren’t so long. That being said, Bāhubali was not a dumpster fire; it has a lot of good-looking visual effects and it’s easy to see the ambition for this epic story, it just doesn’t come together. There’s fun to be had with how the main character is basically the strongest man in the world and yet still comes across as just a lucky dumbass, along with all the dancing that makes no sense but is still entertaining to watch. Seven Samurai (1954) - 10/10 If it wasn’t obvious already, Seven Samurai is a masterpiece. I reviewed this on The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast, so more thoughts can be found there. Red Road (2006) - 6/10 Another recommendation on episode 30 of the podcast. Red Road really captures the authentic British working class experience. Before Sunrise (1995) - 10/10 One of the best romances put to film. The first in Richard Linklater’s Before Trilogy is undoubtedly my favourite, despite its counterparts being almost equally as good. It tells the story of a young couple travelling through Europe, who happen to meet on a train and spend the day together. It is gloriously shot on location in Vienna and features some of the most interesting dialogue I’ve ever seen put to film. Heartbreakingly beautiful.

Tokyo Story (1953) - 9/10 This Japanese classic - along with being visually and sonically masterful - is a lot about appreciating the people in your life and taking the time to show them that you love them. It’s about knowing it’s never too late to rekindle old relationships if you truly want to, which is something I’ve been able to relate to in recent years. It broke my heart in two. Tokyo Story will make you want to call your mother. Before Sunset (2004) - 10/10 Almost a decade after Sunrise, Sunset carries a sombre yet relieving feeling. Again, the performances from Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke take me away, evoking nostalgic feelings as they stroll through the contemporary Parisian streets. There is no regret in me for buying the Criterion blu-ray boxset for this trilogy. Before Midnight (2013) - 10/10 Here, Linklater cements this trilogy as one of the best in film history. It’s certainly not the ending I expected, yet it’s an ending I appreciate endlessly. Because it doesn’t really end. Midnight shows the troubling times of a strained relationship; one that has endured so long and despite initially feeling almost dreamlike in how idealistically that first encounter was portrayed, the cracks appear as the film forces you to come to terms with the fact that fairy-tale romances just don’t exist. Relationships require effort and sacrifice and sometimes the ones that truly work are those that endure through all the rough patches to emerge stronger. The Holy Mountain (1973) - 10/10 Jodorowsky’s masterpiece is absolute insanity. I talked more about it on The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) - 10/10 Another watch for Grand Budapest because I bought the Criterion blu-ray. As unalterably perfect as ever. Blue Jay (2016) - 6/10 Rather good up to a point. My co-hosts and I did not agree on how good this movie was, which is a discussion you can listen to on my podcast. Shadow and Bone: The Afterparty (2021) - 3/10 For what it’s worth, I really enjoyed the first season of Shadow and Bone, which is why I wanted to see what ‘The Afterparty’ was about. This could have been a lot better and much less annoying if all those terrible comedians weren’t hosting and telling bad jokes. I don’t want to see Fortune Feimster attempt to tell a joke about oiling her body as the cast of the show sit awkwardly in their homes over Zoom. If it had simply been a half hour, 45 minute chat with the cast and crew about how they made the show and their thoughts on it, a lot of embarrassment and time-wasting could have been spared. Wadjda (2012) - 6/10 Another recommendation discussed at length on The Sunday Movie Marathon. Wadjda was pretty interesting from a cultural perspective but largely familiar in terms of story structure.

Freddy Got Fingered (2001) - 2/10 A truly terrible movie with maybe one or two scenes that stop it from being a complete catastrophe. Tom Green tried to create something that almost holds a middle finger to everyone who watches it and to some that could be a fun experience, but to me it just came across as utterly irritating. It’s simply a bunch of scenes threaded together with an incredibly loose plot. He wears the skin of a dead deer, smacks a disabled woman over and over again on the legs to turn her on, and he swings a newborn baby around a hospital room by its umbilical cord (that part was actually pretty funny). I cannot believe I watched this again, although I think I repressed a lot of it since having seen it for the first time around five years ago. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 - (2011) I have to say, these movies seem to get better with each instalment. They’re still not very good though. That being said, I’m amazed at how many times I’ve watched each of the Twilight movies at this point. This time around, I watched Breaking Dawn - Part 1 with a YMS commentary track on YouTube and that made the experience a lot more entertaining. Otherwise, this film is super dumb but pretty entertaining. I would recommend watching these movies with friends. Solaris (1972) - 8/10 Andrei Tarkovsky’s grand sci-fi epic about the emotional crises of a crew on the space station orbiting the fictional planet Solaris is much as strange and creepy as you might expect from the master Russian auter. I had wanted to watch this for a while so I bought the Criterion blu-ray and it’s just stunning. It’s clear to see the 2001: A Space Odyssey inspiration but Solaris is quite a different beast entirely. Jaws (1975) - 4/10 I really tried to get into this classic movie, but Jaws exhibits basically everything I don’t like about Steven Spielberg’s directing. For sure, the effects are crazily good but the story itself is poorly handled and largely uninteresting. It was just a massive slog to get through.

Darkman (1990) - 6/10 Sam Raimi’s superhero movie is so much fun, albeit massively stupid. Further discussion on Darkman can be found on episode 32 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast. Darkman II: The Return of Durant (1995) - 1/10 Abysmal. I forgot the movie as I watched it. This was part of a marathon my friends and I did for episode 32 of our podcast. Darkman III: Die Darkman Die (1996) - 1/10 Perhaps this trilogy is not so great after all. Only marginally better than Darkman II but still pretty terrible. More thoughts on episode 32 of my podcast. F For Fake (1973) - 8/10 Rewatching this proved to be a worthwhile decision. Albeit slightly boring, there’s no denying how crazy the story of this documentary about art forgers is. The standout however, is the director himself. Orson Welles makes a lot of this film about himself and how hot his girlfriend is and it is hilarious.

The Mitchells vs. The Machines (2021) - 4/10 More style over substance, Sony’s new animated adventure wants so much to be in trend with the current internet culture but it simply doesn’t understand what it’s emulating. There’s a nyan cat reference, for crying out loud. For every joke that works, there are about ten more that do not and were it not for the wonderful animation, it simply wouldn’t be getting so much praise. Taxi Driver (1976) - 10/10 The first movie I’ve seen in a cinema since 2020 and damn it was good to be back! I’ve already reviewed Taxi Driver in my March wrap-up but seeing it in the cinema was a real treat. Irreversible (2002) - 8/10 One of the most viscerally horrendous experiences I’ve ever had while watching a movie. I cannot believe a friend of mine gave me the DVD to watch. More thoughts on episode 32 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast. Don’t watch it with the family. The Golden Compass (2007) - 1/10 I had no recollection of this being as bad as it is. The Golden Compass is the definition of a factory mandated movie. Nothing it does on its own is worth any kind of merit. I would say, if you wanted an experience like what this tries to communicate, a better option by far is the BBC series, His Dark Materials. More of my thoughts can be found in the review I wrote on Letterboxd.

Antichrist (2009) - 8/10 Lars von Trier is nothing if not provocative and I can understand why someone would not like Antichrist, but I enjoyed it quite a lot. After watching it, I wrote a slightly disjointed summary of my interpretations of this highly metaphorical movie in the group chat, so fair warning for a bit of spoilers and graphic descriptions: It's like, the patriarchy, man! Oppression! Men are the rational thinkers with big brains and the women just cry and be emotional. So she's seen as crazy when she's smashing his cock and driving a drill through his leg to keep him weighted down. Like, how does he like it, ya know? So then she mutilates herself like she did with him and now they're both wounded, but the animals crowd around her (and the crow that he couldn't kill because it's Mother nature, not Father nature, duh). Then he kills her, even though she could've killed him loads of times but didn't. So it's like "haha big win for the man who was subjected to such horrific torture. Victory!" And then all the women with no faces come out of the woods because it's like a constant cycle. Manchester By The Sea (2016) - 6/10 Great performances in this super sad movie. I can’t say I got too much out of it though. Roar (1981) - 9/10 Watching Roar again was still as terrifying an experience as the first time. If you want to watch something that’s loose on plot with poor acting but with real big cats getting in the way of production and physically attacking people, look no further. This is the scariest movie I’ve ever seen because it’s all basically real. Cannot recommend it enough. Eyes Without A Face (1960) - 8/10 I’m glad I checked this old French movie out again. There’s a lot to marvel at in so many aspects, what with the premise itself - a mad surgeon taking the faces from unsuspecting women and transplanting them onto another - being incredibly unique for the time. Short, sweet and entertaining!

Se7en (1995) - 10/10 The first in a David Fincher marathon we did for The Sunday Movie Marathon, episode 33. Zodiac (2007) - 10/10 Second in the marathon, as it was getting late, we decided to watch half that evening and the last half on the following evening. Zodiac is a brilliant movie and you can hear more of my thoughts on the podcast (though I apologise; my audio is not the best in this episode). Gone Girl (2014) - 10/10 My favourite Fincher movie. More insights into this masterpiece in episode 33 of the podcast. Friends: The Reunion (2021) - 6/10 It was heartwarming to see the old actors for this great show together again. I talked about the Friends reunion film at length in episode 33 of my podcast.

Wolfwalkers (2020) - 10/10 I reviewed this in an earlier post but would like to reiterate just how wonderful Wolfwalkers is. If you get the chance, please see it in the cinema. I couldn’t stop crying from how beautiful it was. Raya and The Last Dragon (2021) - 6/10 After watching Wolfwalkers, I decided I didn’t want to go home. So I had lunch in town and booked a ticket for Disney’s Raya and The Last Dragon. A child was coughing directly behind me the entire time. Again, I reviewed this in an earlier post but generally it was decent but I have so many problems with the execution. The Princess Bride (1987) - 9/10 Clearly I underrated this the last time I watched it. The Princess Bride is warm and hilarious with some delightfully memorable characters. A real classic!

The Invisible Kid (1988) - 1/10 About as good as you’d expect a movie with that name to be, The Invisible Kid was a pick for The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast, the discussion for which you can listen to in episode 34. Babel (2006) - 9/10 The same night that I watched The Invisible Kid, I watched a masterful and dour drama from the director of Birdman and The Revenant. Babel calls back to an earlier movie of Iñárritu’s, called Amores Perros and as I was informed while we watched this for the podcast, it turns out Babel is part of a trilogy alongside the aforementioned film. More thoughts in episode 34 of the podcast. Snake Eyes (1998) - 1/10 After feeling thoroughly emotionally wiped out after Babel, we immediately watched another recommendation for the podcast: Snake Eyes, starring Nicolas Cage. This was a truly underwhelming experience and for more of a breakdown into what makes this movie so bad, you can listen to us talk about it on the podcast.

[philip-ks-dick]

Philip K. Dick, For Dummies.

I’ve been researching PK.D for a few years now, as he’s my father’s favourite author and I’ve been watching movie and show adaptations of his work for the longest time. I have personally only read the books listed, here’s the order (I think) you should read them in, based on difficulty level and the knowledge you need of the PKD canon to understand the books that follow. This is purely my opinion based on knowledge of the author. by philip-k’s-dick (lol)

Beginner. (These books and stories allow readers to explore Dick’s pet themes and stylistic quirks without falling too far down the rabbit hole)

The Short Stories: Over the course of his life, PKD wrote somewhere in the range of 150 short stories. Naturally, it would be silly of me to dump all of them on you at once, but undeniably, the shorter format allows the big ideas of Dick’s work to come through more clearly, and even the screwier stories conform to relatively coherent shape, making them an excellent jumping off point, especially for an author who wrote almost nonstop throughout his life.

My Favourites:

In The Days of Perky Pat - In this novel, survivors of a global thermonuclear war live in isolated enclaves in California, surviving off what they can scrounge from the wastes and supplies delivered from Mars. The older generation spend their leisure time playing with the eponymous doll in an escapist role-playing game that recalls life before the apocalypse — a way of life that is being quickly forgotten. At the story's climax, a couple from one isolated outpost of humanity plays a game against the dwellers of another outpost (who play the game with a doll similar to Perky Pat dubbed "Connie Companion") in deadly earnest. The survivors' shared enthusiasm for the Perky Pat doll and the creation of her accessories from vital supplies is a sort of mass delusion that prevents meaningful re-building of the shattered society. In stark contrast, the children of the survivors show absolutely no interest in the delusion and have begun adapting to their new life.

(Elements of the story were later incorporated into Dick's novel The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch, written in 1964 and published in 1965, in which a Perky Pat simulation game is induced by drugs and miniature models instead. Palmer Eldritch is not a continuation or sequel however.)

What the Dead Men Say - Death is followed by a period of 'half-life', a short amount of time which can be rationed out over long periods in which the dead can be revived—so that, potentially, they can 'live' on for a long time. When attempts to bring back important businessman Louis Sarapis fail, it's clearly more than mere negligence. Sure enough, Sarapis starts speaking from beyond the grave. From outer space, in fact. Yet no-one seems terribly bothered, other than those directly concerned in the plot mechanics. Eventually entire communications networks (phones, TV, radio) are blocked by Sarapis' broadcasts

(Philip's later novel Ubik is a continuation of What the Dead Men Say)

Autofac - Three men wait outside their settlement for an automated delivery truck. Five years earlier, during the Total Global Conflict, a network of hardened automatic factories ("autofacs") had been set up with cybernetic controls that determine what food and consumer goods to manufacture and deliver. Human input had been lost, and the men planned disruption to try to establish communication and take over control. They destroy the delivery, but the truck radios the autofac and unloads an identical replacement, then prevents them from reloading items. They act out being disgusted with the milk delivery and are given a complaints checklist. In a blank space, they write improvised semantic garble—"the product is thoroughly pizzled". The autofac sends a humanoid data collector that communicates on an oral basis, but is not capable of conceptual thought, and they are unable to persuade the network to shut down before it consumes all resources. Their next strategy sets neighbouring autofacs in competition with each other for rare resources and seemingly succeeds, but there is a hidden level

Beyond Lies The Wub - Peterson, a crew member of a spaceship loading up with food animals on Mars, buys an enormous pig-like creature known as a "wub" from a native just before departure. Franco, his captain, is worried about the extra weight but seems more concerned about its taste, as his ship is short of food. However, after takeoff, the crew realizes that the wub is a very intelligent creature, capable of telepathy and maybe even mind control.

Peterson and the wub spend time discussing mythological figures and the travels of Odysseus. Captain Franco, paranoid after an earlier confrontation with the Wub which left him temporarily paralyzed, bursts in and insists on killing and eating the wub. The crew becomes very much opposed to killing the sensitive creature after it makes a plea for understanding, but Franco still makes a meal out of him. At the dinner table, Captain Franco apologises for the "interruption" and resumes the earlier conversation between Peterson and the Wub - which now has apparently taken over the Captain's body

Human Is - Jill Herrick and her husband Lester are in the middle of an argument. Lester deflects his wife’s claim that he is “hideous” with cold indifference. He tells her that he will not allow their child in the house and will have him removed to government custody because he is interfering with his research. Before the distraught Jill can pass this onto their son Gus, Lester gets news that he will be taking a trip to Rexor IV. Despite Jill’s desire to go there and see the planet, Lester insists that he will go alone.

Later Jill tells her brother Frank and she is going to leave Lester. She explains how happy she has been with Lester gone and how he seems to be getting worse every year of their marriage. More cold and more “ruthless,” not to mention the incessant working.

Lester comes home a very different man. He praises Jill’s cooking and expresses disgust with his work on Rexor IV studying toxins. He says he prefers Terra and being home with his wife.

Jill reports these changes to Frank, while Lester is playing in the room with Gus. Frank has Lester brought to a lab for more studies under the guidance of the Federal Clearance agency. Before long they realize that Lester has had his body taken over by a Rexorian.

The Hanging Stranger - The protagonist, Ed Loyce, is a store owner who is disturbed when he sees a stranger hanging from a lamppost, but finds that other people consider the apparent lynching unremarkable.

He finds evidence that alien insects have taken over, manages to get out of town, talks to the police commissioner, who believes him, and after getting all the information about what Ed knows, explains that the body was hung to see if anyone reacted to it, anyone they didn't have control over. He then takes Ed outside and hangs him from a lamppost.

The Commuter - Ed Jacobson is a railway worker at Woking station. His life takes a turn for the worse when his son, Sam, begins experiencing psychotic episodes. When he is selling rail tickets at work, a young woman named Linda asks for a ticket to a destination called Macon Heights that is not listed on any map.

The Minority Report - In a future society, three mutants foresee all crime before it occurs. Plugged into a great machine, these "precogs" allow a division of the police called Precrime to arrest suspects before they can commit any actual crimes. When the head of Precrime, John Anderton, is himself predicted to murder a man whom he has never met, Anderton is convinced a great conspiracy is afoot

Full Books:

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? - Rick Deckard, a bounty hunter for the San Francisco Police Department, is assigned to "retire" (kill) six androids of the new and highly intelligent Nexus-6 model which have recently escaped from Mars and traveled to Earth. These androids are made of organic matter so similar to a human's that only a posthumous "bone marrow analysis" can independently prove the difference, making them almost impossible to distinguish from real people. Deckard hopes this mission will earn him enough bounty money to buy a live animal to replace his lone electric sheep to comfort his depressed wife Iran. Deckard visits the Rosen Association's headquarters in Seattle to confirm the accuracy of the latest empathy test meant to identify incognito androids. Deckard suspects the test may not be capable of distinguishing the latest Nexus-6 models from genuine human beings, and it appears to give a false positive on his host in Seattle, Rachael Rosen, meaning the police have potentially been executing human beings. The Rosen Association attempts to blackmail Deckard to get him to drop the case, but Deckard retests Rachael and determines that Rachael is, indeed, an android, which she ultimately admits.

Clans of the Alphane Moon - War between Earth and insectoid-dominated Alpha III ended over a decade ago. (According to the novel, "Alphane" refers to the nearest star to our own system, Alpha Centauri). Some years after the end of hostilities, Earth intends to secure its now independent colony in the Alphane system, Alpha III M2. As a former satellite-based global psychiatric institution for colonists on other Alphane system worlds unable to cope with the stresses of colonisation, the inhabitants of Alpha III M2 have lived peacefully for years. But, under the pretence of a medical mission, Earth intends to take their colony back.

Against this background, Chuck Rittersdorf and his wife Mary are separating. Although they think they are going their separate ways, they soon find themselves together again on Alpha III M2. Mary travels there through government work, Chuck sees it as a chance to kill Mary using his remote control simulacrum. Along the way he is guided by his Ganymedean slime mould neighbour Lord Running Clam and Mary finds herself manipulated by the Alphane sympathiser, comedian Bunny Hentman.

The Man in the High Castle - In 1962, 15 years after Imperial Japan and Nazi Germany have won World War II, Robert "Bob" Childan owns an Americana antique shop in San Francisco, California (located in the Japanese-occupied Pacific States of America), which is most commonly frequented by the Japanese, who make a fetish of romanticized American cultural artifacts. Childan is contacted by Nobusuke Tagomi, a high-ranking Japanese trade official, who is seeking a gift to impress a visiting Swedish industrialist named Baynes. Childan's store is stocked in part with counterfeit antiques from the Wyndam-Matson Corporation, a metalworking company. Frank Frink (formerly Fink), a secretly Jewish-American veteran of World War II, has just been fired from the Wyndam-Matson factory, when he agrees to join a former co-worker to begin a handcrafted jewellery business. Meanwhile, Frink's ex-wife, Juliana, works as a judo instructor in Canon City, Colorado (in the neutral buffer zone of Mountain States), where she begins a sexual relationship with an Italian truck driver and ex-soldier, Joe Cinnadella. Throughout the book, many of these characters frequently make important decisions using prophetic messages they interpret from the I Ching, a Chinese cultural import. Many characters are also reading a widely banned yet extremely popular new novel, The Grasshopper Lies Heavy, which depicts an alternate history in which the Allies won World War II in 1945, a concept that amazes and intrigues its readers.

Frink reveals that the Wyndam-Matson Corporation has been supplying Childan with counterfeit antiques, which works to blackmail Wyndam-Matson for money to finance Frink's new jewelry venture. Tagomi and Baynes meet, but Baynes repeatedly delays any real business as they await an expected third party from Japan. Suddenly, the public receives news of the death of the Chancellor of Germany, Martin Bormann, after a short illness. Childan tentatively, on consignment, takes some of Frink's "authentic" new metalwork and attempts to curry favour with a Japanese client, who surprisingly considers Frink's jewelry immensely spiritually alive. Juliana and Joe take a road trip to Denver, Colorado and Joe impulsively decides they should go on a side-trip to meet the mysterious Hawthorne Abendsen, author of The Grasshopper Lies Heavy, who supposedly lives in a guarded fortress-like estate called the "High Castle" in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Soon, Joseph Goebbels is announced as the new German Chancellor.

Intermediate. (These are the books to pick up once you have the basics of what makes a PKD novel down. They’re obtuse enough to hit a little heavier, but don’t provide the full dose of surrealism Dick was capable of serving up. This is also good spot to jump in if you’ve experienced weird fiction before.)

Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said - The novel is set in a dystopian version of 1988, following a Second Civil War which led to the collapse of the United States' democratic institutions. The National Guard ("nats") and US police force ("pols") reestablished social order through instituting a dictatorship, with a "Director" at the apex, and police marshals and generals as operational commanders in the field. Resistance to the regime is largely confined to university campuses, where radicalized former university students eke out a desperate existence in subterranean kibbutzim. Recreational drug use is widespread, and the age of consent has been lowered to twelve. The black population has almost been rendered extinct. Most commuting is undertaken by personal aircraft, allowing great distances to be covered in little time.

The novel begins with the protagonist, Jason Taverner, a singer, hosting his weekly TV show which has an audience of 30 million viewers. His special guest is his girlfriend Heather Hart, also a singer. Both Hart and Taverner are "Sixes", members of an elite class of genetically engineered humans. While leaving the studio, Taverner is telephoned by a former lover, who asks him to pay her a visit. When Taverner arrives at her apartment, the former lover attacks him by throwing a parasitic life-form at him. Although he manages to remove most of the life-form, parts of it are left inside him. After being rescued by Hart, he is taken to a medical facility.

Waking up the following day in a seedy hotel with no identification, Taverner becomes worried, as failure to produce identification at one of the numerous police checkpoints would lead to imprisonment in a forced labor camp. Through a succession of phone calls made from the hotel to colleagues and friends who now claim not to know him, Taverner establishes that he is no longer recognized by the outside world. He soon manages to bribe the hotel's clerk into taking him to Kathy Nelson, a forger of government documents. However, Kathy reveals that both she and the clerk are police informants, and that the lobby clerk has placed a microscopic tracking device on him. She promises not to turn Taverner over to the police on the condition that he spend the night with her. Although he attempts to escape, Kathy confronts him again after he has successfully passed a police checkpoint using the forged identity cards. Feeling in her debt, he accompanies Kathy to her apartment block, where Inspector McNulty, Kathy's police handler, is waiting. McNulty has located Taverner via the tracking device the hotel lobby clerk placed on him, and instructs Taverner to come with him to the 469th Precinct police station so that further biometric identity checks can be performed.

Time out of Joint - Ragle Gumm lives in the year 1959 in a quiet American suburb. His unusual profession consists of repeatedly winning the cash prize in a local newspaper contest called "Where Will The Little Green Man Be Next?". Gumm's 1959 has some differences from ours: the Tucker car is in production, AM/FM radios are scarce to non-existent, and Marilyn Monroe is a complete unknown. As the novel opens, strange things begin to happen to Gumm. A soft-drink stand disappears, replaced by a small slip of paper with the words "SOFT-DRINK STAND" printed on it in block letters. Intriguing little pieces of the real 1959 turn up: a magazine article on Marilyn Monroe, a telephone book with non-operational exchanges listed and radios hidden away in someone else's house. People with no apparent connection to Gumm, including military pilots using aircraft transceivers, refer to him by name. Few other characters notice these or experience similar anomalies; the sole exception is Gumm's supposed brother-in-law, Victor "Vic" Nielson, in whom he confides. A neighborhood woman, Mrs. Keitelbein, invites him to a civil defense class where he sees a model of a futuristic underground military factory. He has the unshakeable feeling he's been inside that building many times before.

Confusion gradually mounts for Gumm. His neighbor Bill Black knows far more about these events than he admits, and, observing this, begins worrying: "Suppose Ragle [Gumm] is becoming sane again?" In fact, Gumm does become sane, and the deception surrounding him (erected to protect and exploit him) begins to unravel

Ubik - By the year 1992, humanity has colonized the Moon and psychic powers are common. The protagonist, Joe Chip, is a debt-ridden technician working for Runciter Associates, a "prudence organization" employing "inertials"—people with the ability to negate the powers of telepaths and "precogs"—to enforce the privacy of clients. The company is run by Glen Runciter, assisted by his deceased wife Ella who is kept in a state of "half-life", a form of cryonic suspension that allows the deceased limited consciousness and ability to communicate. While consulting with Ella, Runciter discovers that her consciousness is being invaded by another half-lifer named Jory Miller

Difficult. (This section comes with a caveat: within these novels you will encounter numerous hallucinations, drug trips, an entire trilogy about gnostic spirituality and mental illness, and more than a little unabashed nightmare fuel. It’s normal to get tangled up in what goes on in these books. It’s also normal to be weirded out. But with proper grounding, you’ll make it though with your faculties intact. Probably.)

The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch - The story begins in a future world where global temperatures have risen so high that in most of the world it is unsafe to be outside without special cooling gear during daylight hours. In a desperate bid to preserve humanity and ease population burdens on Earth, the UN has initiated a "draft" for colonizing the nearby planets, where conditions are so horrific and primitive that the unwilling colonists have fallen prey to a form of escapism involving the use of an illegal drug (Can-D) in concert with "layouts." Layouts are physical props intended to simulate a sort of alternative reality where life is easier than either the grim existence of the colonists in their marginal off-world colonies, or even Earth, where global warming has progressed to the point that Antarctica is prime vacation resort territory. The illegal drug Can-D allows people to "share" their experience of the "Perky Pat" (the name of the main female character in the simulated world) layouts. This "sharing" has caused a pseudo-religious cult or series of cults to grow up around the layouts and the use of the drug.

Up to the point where the novel begins, New York City-based Perky Pat (or P.P.) Layouts, Inc., has held a monopoly on this product, as well as on the illegal trade in the drug Can-D which makes the shared hallucinations possible.

The novel opens shortly after Barney Mayerson, P.P. Layouts' top precog, has received a "draft notice" from the UN for involuntary resettlement as a colonist on Mars. Mayerson is sleeping with his assistant, Roni Fugate, but remains conflicted about the divorce, which he himself initiated, from his first wife Emily, a ceramic pot artist. Meanwhile, Emily's second husband tries to sell her pot designs to P.P. Layouts as possible accessories for the Perky Pat virtual worlds—but Barney, recognizing them as Emily's, rejects them out of spite.

A Scanner Darkly - When performing his work as an undercover agent, Arctor goes by the name "Fred" and wears a "scramble suit" that conceals his identity from other officers. Then he is able to sit in a police facility and observe his housemates through "holo-scanners", audio-visual surveillance devices that are placed throughout the house. Arctor's use of the drug causes the two hemispheres of his brain to function independently or "compete". When Arctor sees himself in the videos saved by the scanners, he does not realize that it is him. Through a series of drug and psychological tests, Arctor's superiors at work discover that his addiction has made him incapable of performing his job as a narcotics agent. They do not know his identity because he wears the scramble suit, but when his police supervisor suggests to him that he might be Bob Arctor, he is confused and thinks it cannot be possible.

Donna takes Arctor to "New-Path", a rehabilitation clinic, just as Arctor begins to experience the symptoms of Substance D withdrawal. It is revealed that Donna has been a narcotics agent all along, working as part of a police operation to infiltrate New-Path and determine its funding source. Without his knowledge, Arctor has been selected to penetrate the organization. As part of the rehab program, Arctor is renamed "Bruce" and forced to participate in cruel group-dynamic games, intended to break the will of the patients

(If this one seems difficult to wrap your mind around, that's because its a fictionalized account of real events, and you may need to read about Philip's life at the time to understand the autobiographical nature of the book.)

The VALIS Trilogy

(Fictionalized account of religious experiences in PKD’s life.)

VALIS - In March, 1974, Horselover Fat (the alter-personality of Philip K. Dick) experiences visions of a pink beam of light that he calls Zebra and interprets as a theophany exposing hidden facts about the reality of our universe, and a group of others join him in researching these matters. One of their theories is that there is some kind of alien space probe in orbit around Earth, and that it is aiding them in their quest; it also aided the United States in disclosing the Watergate scandal and the resignation of Richard Nixon in August, 1974. Kevin turns his friends onto a film called Valis that contains obvious references to revelations identical to those that Horselover Fat has experienced, including what appears to be time dysfunction. The film is itself a fictional account of an alternative-universe version of Nixon ("Ferris F. Fremount") and his fall, engineered by a satellite called valis. (The plot of the fictitious film Valis was that of Dick's then-unpublished novel Radio Free Albemuth.) In seeking the film's makers, Kevin, Phil, Fat, and David—now calling themselves the Rhipidon Society—head to an estate owned by popular musician Eric Lampton and his wife Linda. They decide the goal that they have been led toward is Sophia Lampton, who is two-years old and the Messiah or incarnation of Holy Wisdom (Pistis Sophia) anticipated by some variants of Gnostic Christianity. In addition to healing Phil's schizophrenic personality split, she tells them that their conclusions about valis (which Fat had previously termed "Zebra") and reality are correct, and more importantly, that we should worship, not gods, but humanity. She dies two days later due to a laser accident caused by Brent Mini. Undeterred, Fat (who has now resurged) goes on a global search for the next incarnation of Sophia.

Dick also offers a rationalist explanation of his apparent theophany, acknowledging that it might have been visual and auditory hallucinations from either schizophrenia or drug addiction sequelae.

Characters:

Phil (Philip K. Dick): Narrator (first person), science fiction writer, author of Man in the High Castle, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, and Three Stigmata.

Horselover Fat: Narrator (third person), a schizophrenic modality of Phil himself. (Philip in Greek means "fond of horses"; dick is German for "fat".)

Gloria Knudson: Suicidal friend of Fat's who Fat is unable to save.

Kevin: Cynical friend of Fat's whose cat died running across the street, based on K. W. Jeter.

Sherri Solvig: Church-going friend of Fat's, eventually dies from lymphatic cancer.

David: Catholic friend of Fat's, based on Tim Powers.

Eric Lampton: Rock star, screenwriter, actor, a. k. a. "Mother Goose"; a fictionalised version of David Bowie.

Linda Lampton: Actress, wife of Eric Lampton.

Brent Mini: Electronic composer, a fictionalised version of Brian Eno.

Sophia Lampton: Two-year-old child (personalised incarnation of Holy Wisdom within some variants of Gnosticism), said to be the daughter of Linda Lampton and valis and the "Fifth Savior".

The Divine Invasion - After a fatal car accident on Earth, Herb Asher is placed into cryonic suspension as he waits for a spleen replacement. Clinically dead, Herb experiences lucid dreams while in suspended animation and relives the last six years of his life.

In the past, Herb lived as a recluse in an isolated dome on a remote planet in the binary star system, CY30-CY30B. Yah, a local divinity of the planet in exile from Earth, appears to Herb in a vision as a burning flame, and forces him to contact his sick female neighbor, Rybys Rommey, who happens to be terminally ill with multiple sclerosis and pregnant with Yah's child.

With the help of the immortal soul of Elijah, who takes the form of a wild beggar named Elias Tate, Herb agrees to become Rybys's legal husband and father of the unborn "savior". Together they plan to smuggle the six-month pregnant Rybys back to Earth, under the pretext of seeking help for Rybys' medical condition at a medical research facility. After being born in human form, Yah plans to confront the fallen angel Belial, who has ruled the Earth for 2000 years since the fall of Masada in the first century CE. Yah's powers, however, are limited by Belial's dominion on Earth, and the four of them must take extra precautions to avoid being detected by the forces of darkness.

Things do not go as planned. "Big Noodle", Earth's A.I. system, warns the ecclesiastical authorities in the Christian-Islamic church and Scientific Legate about the divine "invasion" and countermeasures are prepared. A number of failed attempts are made to destroy the unborn child, all of them thwarted by Elijah and Yah. After successfully making the interstellar journey back to Earth and narrowly avoiding a forced abortion, Rybys and Herb escape in the nick of time, only to be involved in a fatal taxi crash, probably due to the machinations of Belial. Rybys dies from her injuries sustained in the crash, and her unborn son Emmanuel (Yah in human form) suffers brain damage from the trauma but survives. Herb is critically injured and put into cryonic suspension until a spleen replacement can be found. Baby Emmanuel is placed into a synthetic womb, but Elias Tate manages to sneak Emmanuel out of the hospital before the church is able to kill him.

Six years pass. In a school for special children, Emmanuel meets Zina, a girl who also seems to have similar skills and talents, but acts as a surrogate teacher to Emmanuel. For four years, Zina helps Emmanuel regain his memory (the brain damage caused amnesia) and discover his true identity as Yah, creator of the universe.

When he's ready, Zina shows Emmanuel her own parallel universe. In this peaceful world, organized religion has little influence, Rybys Rommey is still alive and married to Herb Asher, and Belial is only a goat kid living in a petting zoo.

In an act of kindness, Zina and Emmanuel liberate the goat-creature from his cage, momentarily forgetting that the animal is Belial. The goat-creature finds Herb Asher and attempts to retain control of the world by possessing him and convincing him that Yahweh's creation is an ugly thing that should be shown for what it really is. Eventually Herb is saved by Linda Fox, a young singer whom he loves and who is his own personal Savior; she and the goat-creature meet and she kills it, defeating Belial. He finally discovers that this meeting happens over again for everyone in the world, and whether they choose Belial or their Savior decides if they find salvation.

Characters:

Herb Asher: audio engineer

Rybys Rommey: mother of Emmanuel, sick with MS

Yah: Yahweh

Elias Tate: Incarnation of Elijah

Emmanuel (Manny): Yah incarnated in human form

Zina Pallas: Shekhinah

Linda Fox: singer, songwriter, Yetzer Hatov

Belial: Yetzer Hara

Fulton Statler Harms: Chief prelate of the Christian-Islamic Church (C.I.C), Cardinal of the Roman Catholic Church

Nicholas Bulkowsky: Communist Party Chairman, Procurator maximus of the Scientific Legate

VALIS: agent of Yahweh, disinhibiting stimulus

The Transmigration of Timothy Archer - Set in the late 1960s and 1970s, the story describes the efforts of Episcopal Bishop Timothy Archer, who must cope with the theological and philosophical implications of the newly discovered Gnostic Zadokite scroll fragments. The character of Bishop Archer is loosely based on the controversial, iconoclastic Episcopal Bishop James Pike, who in 1969 died of exposure while exploring the Judean Desert near the Dead Sea in the West Bank.

As the novel opens, it is 1980. On the day that John Lennon is shot and killed, Angel Archer visits the houseboat of Edgar Barefoot, (a guru based on Alan Watts), and reflects on the lives of her deceased relatives. During the sixties, she was married to Jeff Archer, son of the Episcopal Bishop of California Timothy Archer. She introduced Kirsten Lundborg, a friend, to her father-in law, and the two began an affair. Kirsten has a son, Bill, from a previous relationship, who has schizophrenia, although he is knowledgeable as an automobile mechanic. Tim is already being investigated for his allegedly heretical views about the Holy Ghost.

Jeff commits suicide due to his romantic obsession with Kirsten. However, after poltergeist activity, he manifests to Tim and Kirsten at a seance, also attended by Angel. Angel is skeptical about the efficacy of astrology, and believes that the unfolding existential situation of Tim and Kirsten is akin to Friedrich Schiller's German Romanticism era masterpiece, the Wallenstein trilogy (insofar as their credulity reflects the loss of rational belief in contemporary consensual reality).

The three are told that Kirsten and Tim will die. As predicted, Kirsten loses her remission from cancer, and also commits suicide after a barbiturate overdose. Tim travels to Israel to investigate whether or not a psychotropic mushroom was associated with the resurrection, but his car stalls, he becomes disoriented, falls from a cliff, and dies in the desert.

On the houseboat, Angel is reunited with Bill, Kirsten's son who has schizophrenia. He claims to have Tim's reincarnated spirit within him, but is soon institutionalized. Angel agrees to care for Bill, in return for a rare record (Koto Music by Kimio Eto) that Edgar offers her.

The Transmigration of Timothy Archer is one of Dick's most overtly philosophical and intellectual works. While Dick's novels usually employ multiple narrators or an omniscient perspective, this story is told in the first person by a single narrator: Angel Archer, Bishop Archer's daughter-in-law.

Characters:

Angel Archer: Narrator, manager of a Berkeley record store, widow of Jeff Archer.

Timothy Archer: Bishop of California; father of the late Jeff Archer and father-in-law of Angel. Dies in Israel, searching for psychotropic mushroom connected with Zadokite sect. Based on James Albert Pike, Dick's personal friend, who was an American Episcopalian bishop.

Kirsten Lundborg: Timothy Archer's secretary and lover. Dies from barbiturate overdose after loss of remission from cancer.

Bill Lundborg: Kirsten's son who has schizophrenia, and who is obsessed with cars.

Edgar Barefoot: Houseboat guru, radio personality, lecturer. Based on Alan Watts.

Jeff Archer: Son of Timothy Archer, and deceased husband of Angel. A professional student who was romantically obsessed with Kirsten.

Thank you, if you read all of this. it took me six hours today to write this all 

[asleepinawell]

Book Recs

I was gonna do one of these at the end of the year, but I’ve somehow managed to read 26 books this year already (12 novellas, 14 novels), almost all featuring queer authors and/or characters so this is already a long list.

Note: There’s a few on here I was kind of meh about, but in most of those cases it was a ‘book might be good but it’s not for me so i’ll mention it to put it on people’s radar anyway’ type of thing. Insert the usual necessary tumblr disclaimer about all of this being only my opinion and your opinions are valid too etc etc.

In order of when I read them:

Princess Floralinda and the Forty-Flight Tower by Tamsyn Muir - Fantasy novella from the author of gideon the ninth that’s a twist on the classic princess trapped in a tower waiting for a prince story. Quite fun. (novella)

The Monster of Elendhaven by Jennifer Giesbrecht - Dark fantasy about revenge and magic. m/m couple but like I said it’s pretty dark and twisted all around so definitely not a happy queer romantic story. My opinion was interesting premise that could have been executed better and probably should have been a full novel to embellish on the world building potential. (novella)

A Memory Called Empire & A Desolation Called Peace - Arkady Martine - Probably tied with murderbot as the best things I read this year. Scifi, f/f couple, wonderfully done exploration of what it means to fall in love with a culture that is destroying your own. More of the many queer anti-imperialist books that have come out recently and certainly some of the best. The second one is a direct continuation of the first. (2 novels)

The Tyrant Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson - This is the third in the Baru Cormorant series (The Masquerade) and was my favorite so far. The second and third book were originally one book that got split I believe and the second book didn’t stand alone as well (though was still great), but the third book really made up for that. Dark fantasy world starring a queer woc whose country and culture is destroyed by the imperial forces of that world colonizing and assimilating them. She vows revenge and decides to work her way up within her enemy’s ranks to enact it from within and bring an empire to ruins. Really really fascinating study of so many different aspects of our own world and the systems which enable and allow bigotry and how bigoted and violent narratives are used to control minorities. This is definitely a darker series and I was particularly impressed with some of the commentary on the racism prevalent in non-intersectional feminism as depicted through a fantasy world. Can’t wait for the last one to come out! (3 novels, 1 forthcoming)

The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells - There’s six of them--5 novella and a novel--and the first is All Systems Red. Told from the point of view of a self-aware droid/android that is rented out by a corporation to provide protection in a dystopian capitalist hellhole future that isn’t that unlike our current capitalist dystopia but is in space. Muderbot hacked the chip that controlled it and instead of going rogue just wants to be left alone to watch its favorite tv shows. Murderbot is painfully relatable and the books are both funny and poignant. Highly recommended. (5 novellas and a novel).

Winter’s Orbit - Everina Maxwell - This was a m/m romance novel with a scifi backdrop of royal intrigue. Generally I’m more into scifi with a queer relationship in the background than vice versa, so it wasn’t my favorite, BUT I think it was still well written and someone looking for more of the romance angle would enjoy it. Has all your favorite romance tropes in it, especially the yearning. (novel)

The Divine Cities - Robert Jackson Bennett - Three book series. I’m very conflicted about this one. Set in a fantasy world where an enslaved nation overthrew the country enslaving them and now rules over them. It’s a story of what happens after the triumphant victory and within that it’s also a murder mystery tied into the dying magic of the conquered nation. It also has a six foot something naked oily viking man fist fight a cthulhu in a frozen river. The second book was by far my favorite, mostly due to the main character being brilliant. My conflict comes from the fact I don’t feel like the story treated its women and queer characters well. Like it had really great characters but it didn’t do great by them overall. That and the third book didn’t live up to the first two. But still definitely worth a read, can’t stress enough how cool some of the world building was. (3 novels)

Into the Drowning Deep - Mira Grant - This might be the only one on here I disliked. It’s got a doomed boat voyage and creepy underwater terror and monsters and a super diverse cast of characters, but I just didn’t enjoy the writing style. While having a diverse cast is great, there were a lot of moments where it felt like characters were pausing to explain things about themselves that felt like a tumblr post rather than a normal conversation you might have while actively being hunted by monsters. I also bounced off all the characters. But a lot of people seem to have liked it so if you’re into horror and want a book with a f/f main couple then maybe you’ll enjoy it. (novel)

Dead Djinn Universe - P. Djèlí Clark - Around the early 1900′s, a man in Egypt discovers a way to access another world and bring Djinn and mysterious clockwork beings called Angels through. As a result, Egypt tells the British to get fucked and Cairo becomes one of the most powerful cities in the world. So Egypt, magic, djinn, a steampunk-ish vibe, oh and the main character is a butch queer woman who enjoys wearing dapper suits and looking fabulous while she investigates supernatural events. Her girlfriend is also mysterious and badass. And she has a cat. There’s three novella (one of which technically might be considered a short story) and then the first novel. You should absolutely read the novellas first (A Dead Djinn in Cairo, The Angel of Khan el-Khalili, The Haunting of Tram Car 015). Super fun and imaginative series. (3 novellas and a novel, more forthcoming)

River of Teeth & Taste of Marrow - Sarah Gailey - From the book description

“In the early 20th Century, the United States government concocted a plan to import hippopotamuses into the marshlands of Louisiana to be bred and slaughtered as an alternative meat source. This is true. Other true things about hippos: they are savage, they are fast, and their jaws can snap a man in two. This was a terrible plan.”

Queer hippo riders!!!! Very much a western but with hippos. Main couple included a non-binary character. Loved the first one. The second one I was more meh about due to one of the characters I was supposed to like having obnoxious man pain that a woman had to take the brunt of the whole time. Also there were less hippos. But queer hippo riders! Definitely read the first one, and they’re both novellas so no reason not to read the second as well. (2 novellas)

A Psalm for the Wild-Built - Becky Chambers - I may be the only person who hasn’t read the long way to a small angry planet at this point, but I did grab her new novella and I loved it. It made me want to go sit out in the woods and feel peaceful. The world it’s set in feels like a peaceful post-apocalypse...or diverted apocalypse maybe. Humans built robots and robots gained sentience, but instead of rebelling they just up and left and went into the wilderness with a promise that the humans wouldn’t follow them.The remaining human society reshaped itself into something new and peaceful. It’s the story of a monk who leaves their habitual monking duties to go be a tea monk and then later wanders into the wilderness and becomes the first human in ages to meet a robot. Very sad there’s no fan art yet. (novella, more forthcoming)

The March North - Graydon Saunders - This was such a weird book that I’m not sure how to explain it. The prose style is hard to get used to and I suspect a lot of people will bounce off it in the first chapter. There’s no third person pronouns used at all and important events get mentioned once in passing and if you blink you’ll miss them. Set on a world where magic is extremely common to the point that rivers sometimes run with blood or fire and the local weeds are something out of a horror movie and most of the world is run by powerful sorcerer dictators, one country banded together (with the help of a few powerful sorcerers who were tired of all the bullshit) to form a free country where powerful sorcerers wouldn’t rule and the small magics of every day folks could be combined to work together. The story revolves around a Captain of the military force on the border who one day has three very powerful sorcerers sent to them by the main government with the hint that just maybe there’s about to be a big invasion (there is) with the implication of take these guys and go deal with this. The world building is extremely complex and very cool...when you can actually understand what the fuck is going on. There is also a murder sheep named Eustace who breathes fire and eats just about everything and is a Very Good Boy and belongs to the most terrifying sorcerer in the world who appears as a little old grandma with knitting. It had one of the most epic badass and wonderfully grotesque battles I’ve ever read. But yeah, it is not what I would call easy reading. Opinions may vary wildly. I did also read the second one (A Succession of Bad Days) in the series which was easier to follow and had a lot more details about the world, but overall I was more meh about it despite some cool aspects. The chapters and chapters of the extreme details of building a house that made up half the novel just weren’t my thing. (novels).

The Space Between Worlds - Micaiah Johnson - In this world parallels universes exist and we’ve discovered how to travel between them, but the catch is you can only go to worlds where the ‘you’ there is already dead. This turns into an uncomfortable look at who would be the people most likely to have died on many worlds and how things like class and race would fit into that and what we would actually use this ability for (if you guessed stealing resources and the stock market you’d be correct). The main character is a queer woc who travels between worlds with the assistance of her handler (another queer woc) who she has the hots for. She accidentally stumbles on a whole lot of mess and conspiracy and gets swept up in that. Really enjoyed it. (novel)

Witchmark - C.L. Polk - Fantasy world reminiscent of Victorian England (I think?) where a young man with magical gifts runs away from his powerful family to avoid being exploited by them. He joins the army and fights in a war and comes home to try and live a quiet life as a doctor, but a murder pulls him into a larger mystery that upturns his life. Also he’s extremely gay and there’s a prevalent m/m romance. This one was a fun-but-not-mind-blowing one for me. (novel, 2 more in the series I haven’t read)

The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon - This was one of those that everyone loved but I couldn’t get into for some reason. I tried twice and only got about halfway through the second time. It’s got dragons and queer ladies and fantasy world and all the things I like, but I wasn’t that invested in the main story (which included the f/f couple) and was more interested in the smaller story about a woman trying to become a dragon rider. There are few things that beat out a lady and her dragon friend story for me and that was the storyline that felt neglected and took a different turn right when we got to the part I’d been waiting for. But, I know a lot of people whose reading opinions I respect who loved it, and if you like epic fantasy with dragons and queens and treachery and pirates and queer characters then I’d say you should definitely give it a try. (novel)

Bonus: I didn’t read these series this year, but if you haven’t read them yet, you should.

Imperial Radch (Ancillary Justice) - Ann Leckie - Spaceship AI stuck in a human body out for revenge for their former captain, but that summary does not come close to doing it justice. Another one examining imperialism and also gender and race.(3 novels)

Kushiel's Legacy Series - Jacqueline Carey - This is two series, six books total, and starts with Kushiel's Dart. Alternate universe Renaissance-y Europe in a fantastical world where sex isn't shameful and sex workers are respected and prized. Lots of political intrigue and mystery. A lot of BDSM and kinky stuff too (the main character is a sexual masochist, oh and also bi!). I first read this series when I was fifteen or sixteen and it definitely made a big impression on me. Same author also wrote the Santa Olivia series which I’d also recommend. (6 novels)

The Locked Tomb (Gideon the Ninth) - Tamsyn Muir - I mean, if you follow me, you know. If you don’t follow me you still probably know. I’d have felt remiss to have left them off though. Lesbian Necormancers in Space. Memes! Skeletons! Biceps! Go read them. (2 novels, 2 forthcoming, 1 short story)

Books On My To Read List:

Fireheart Tiger - Aliette de Bodard

The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water - Zen Cho

Black Sun - Rebecca Roanhorse

This Is How You Lose the TIme War - Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Ninefox Gambit - Yoon Ha Lee

Also, if anyone has any recs for scifi/fantasy books starring queer men (not necessarily having to do with a queer relationship) and written by queer men I’d love them. There’s a lot written by women, and some of them are great, but I’d love to read a story about queer men from their own perspective.

[mygalfriday]

you heard it from those other boys but this time it’s real (River/12)

Prompt #4: Double Date

Technically, this might be her fault but as a self-proclaimed psychopath River hardly possesses a conscience that needs to own her every mistake. And she certainly has no intention of claiming responsibility for this one. She fully intends to blame Hydroflax.

Finally settled in their brand new flat, she and the Doctor had decided to have a bit of fun playing hosts for the evening. Acting as a normal married couple who throw dinner parties and play board games had seemed like a laugh. The problem, of course, was that they didn’t know anyone on Darillium to invite. It had only been a few weeks and they’d spent most of that time christening every available surface of the flat. Neither of them had been inclined to get dressed and meet their neighbors.

The only two people they know happen to share a single body. The Doctor had been adamantly opposed to having one of her former husbands as a dinner guest and River, relishing his jealous scowl, had relented quite quickly. So they had decided to invite Nardole round for dinner and proceeded to bicker over the menu and the wine until they actually felt like an ordinary couple with ordinary problems. Of course, they’d made up immediately – impossible to stay angry when you’re both grinning at each other like idiots.

Eventually, they’d decided River would make the appetizers, the Doctor would make the main course, and they’d make dessert together. The Doctor hadn’t even blushed when she’d made a filthy joke about it. He’d only looked at her with exasperated affection and kissed her quiet. A girl could get used to that sort of domesticity.

While technically the robot body Nardole now inhabits doesn’t need to eat, its system does have the ability to convert food into energy to help maintain the electrical charge. River had spent a good hour convincing the Doctor that cracking open their dinner guest to study this phenomenon would be in poor taste. When the day in question actually arrived, things went surprisingly well. River actually made her appetizers instead of popping out somewhere and stealing them; the Doctor didn’t explode the kitchen while making the beef bourguignon; and Nardole was an excellent first guest.

The problem appeared during the main course. One moment Nardole had been licking the gravy off his spoon and praising the buttery garlic of the mushrooms while the Doctor leered at her smugly, and the next he’d simply dropped his spoon and powered down, his head drooping against his metal shoulder.

River looks to the Doctor, frowning. “Should we be worried?”

He shakes his head, his brow furrowed and his fingers tapping idly against the table. “Don’t think so,” he says, eyeing Nardole like the exact opposite might be true. “Lots of people eat too much and need to nap.”

“Not midsentence. And he’s not people, darling,” she sighs. “He’s a robot.”

Before he can reply, Nardole’s head begins to disappear – sinking into the confines of his metal body. River can only watch in helpless fascination, like a pedestrian witnessing a car crash, as Ramone appears in his place. He yawns widely, as though he’d been interrupted mid-nap, and blinks as he takes stock of his surroundings. When he sees River, he breaks into that big grin that had endeared him to her the first time they met. “Hello you.”

River darts a glance at the Doctor, who looks too bewildered by this turn of events to even be properly annoyed about it. “Hello Ramone. Everything alright?”

“I think so.” He squints, as though taking stock of himself. “Nardole ate too much.”

She pointedly ignores the Doctor’s terribly unsubtle gloating. Gesturing to the spread before them, she asks, “Hungry?”

“I could eat.” He looks down at his plate, brows lifting. “Is this for me?”

Pasting on a smile, River nods. “Yes. Of course.”

Finally seeming to realize he’s about to have dinner with his wife and her ex-husband, the Doctor shifts uneasily in his chair. His right eye twitches.

“Oh, how nice.” Ramone leans forward, inhaling deeply. “Whatever it is, it smells delicious.”

“Beef bourguignon.” She bites back a smirk, glancing at her husband. “The Doctor made it.”

“Did you really?” Ramone shovels a generous bite into his mouth and groans, eyes falling shut. “It’s very good.”

The Doctor’s grip around his fork tightens and for a moment River wonders if she’s about to have the privilege of witnessing her two-thousand-year-old husband start a food fight. At last, he sighs through his nose and loosens his white-knuckled grip on the poor cutlery. “It’s River’s favorite,” he grumbles, “So I learned to make it.” His eyes narrow and he stares pointedly at Ramone as he adds, “Because I’m her husband.”

River rolls her eyes and reaches for the pinot noir.

Undeterred, the Doctor presses, “We’ve been married for centuries. In multiple universes. Did she tell you that?”

“Hmm? I think she mentioned it.” Too engrossed in his food, Ramone doesn’t appear to notice the Doctor’s annoyance despite his complete lack of subtlety. It’s part of the reason River had gotten so annoyed and erased his memory; he’s such a dear, dense thing. If only he weren’t so damn pretty.

Helping himself to a glass of wine Nardole hadn’t finished, Ramone turns his attention back to River. “I like the new flat,” he says, smiling at her. “How are you enjoying your stay so far?”

And thus begins the most awkward evening of her life. Considering the length of her life, tonight ranks pretty high on a fairly substantial list of terrible evenings. She makes polite conversation with her ex, telling him about the new furniture she and her husband just ordered from the next planet over and how offensively high the shipping cost had been. They discuss mutual friends and reminisce about previous adventures, all while the Doctor stews in silence, scowling at his plate. River keeps her hand on his thigh under the table, squeezing every now and then just to see him twitch.

After what seems like hours, dinner finally comes to an end. Ramone wipes his mouth on a napkin and pats his metal belly. “So, what’s for dessert?”

River opens her mouth, already smirking, but the Doctor cuts her off with a glare. “There is no dessert,” he says firmly. “At least not any you’ll be getting.”

“Spoilsport,” River murmurs, ignoring Ramone’s puzzled glance. She pushes aside what’s left of her wine and conjures up her most charming smile. “Actually, I think we’ll call it an early night, if you don’t mind. The Doctor has a headache.” She tips her head, nose wrinkling. “Or he’s about to, at least.”

“Erm. Yes.” The Doctor quirks an eyebrow at her, his leg shifting under her palm. “There’s definitely some throbbing.”

She nearly chokes, smothering her surprised laughter in a strangled cough that makes her eyes water. The Doctor grins shamelessly at her, looking triumphant and smug in a way she absolutely shouldn’t find sexy. She really does anyway.

“Right,” Ramone says, eyeing them strangely. After a moment, he seems to give a mental shrug before pushing back his chair. His metal body clicks and whirrs as he rises, suddenly towering over them both. “Thanks for dinner. It was lovely.”

River presses her lips together, still far too amused to manage speech.

The Doctor, damn him, looks cheerful for the first time all evening. “Our pleasure.”

Together, they walk Ramone to the door and see him off, waving in the doorway until he disappears down the corridor with clunky steps. The moment they shut the door behind him, the Doctor dissolves into laughter. Helpless but to join in, River tugs him in by the collar of his shirt and presses her giggling mouth to his cheek. “You jealous idiot,” she laughs. “He’s no one, you know. Just a bit of fun.”

He huffs. “We’re fun.”

“We are,” she promises, swaying into his chest. She tips back her head and meets his soft gaze. With a sigh still bubbling with laughter, she admits, “We’re… everything.”

The Doctor dips his head and kisses her – a bit rougher than normal, just possessive enough to make her shudder. Nipping at her lip as he pulls away, he nudges his nose against hers and whispers, “Dessert?”

River grins, slipping her arms around his neck. “I’ll clear the table.”

[st-just]

Now I’m curious what the “one work of pop philosophy and one literary essay thing” you’d recommend are

Well good news, on reflection I've thought up a couple more pieces of non-history nonfiction I'd recommend! (also for @drawnkad ) 1. Strangers Drowning, by Larissa Macfarquhar: A sort of examination of selfless/altruism/taking the idea of universal moral obligation seriously - that is, of people who actually act like they believe that strangers have something approaching the same moral worth as they and theirs do. Specifically interested in why normal people’s reaction to such an idea is often one of deep discomfort, at best. Chapters alternate between a sort of intellectual history of the western tradition of such (which doubles as an intellectual history of utilitarianism for a decent portion of it) and case studies of different people who more or less fit the model, including biographies and interviews. Absolutely lovely book, though likely to leave you feeling like a terrible person as you finish it (you probably are, relatively).

Also has some quotes that have been burned into my skull for years now. To steal a few.

The need of the world was like death, Julia thought. Everyone knew about it, but the thought was so annihilating they had to push it out of their mind or it would crush them.

This position was pure, consistent, and invigoratingly radical, but proved so universally repellent that utilitarianism quickly retreated to the safety of moderation.

Some say they're only dong their duty, they're only doing what everyone ought to, and if most people think their sense of duty is extreme or warped, then most people are wrong. They reject the idea that what they do is saintly or heroic, because to them, that's another way of saying other people needn't even try to do such things. Praise is a disguised excuse.

2-3. The Sixth Extinction and Under A White Sky, by Elizabeth Kolbert. Two books that basically form an accidental set, written seven years apart. The Sixth Extinction is more or less what it sounds like, a brief tour of the current mass extinction event and examination of some of the more notable collapsing ecosystems and rapidly vanishing species, along with some interesting (pre-) historical context of what previous mass extinction events looked like. The section on ocean acidification is honestly what stuck in my head most, though I should really reread the whole thing at some point.

Under A White Sky is something like the sequel. You might call it an introduction to the Anthropocene. The title’s obviously a reference to solar geoengineering, but that only takes up a small amount of the book - the rest is devoted to carbon sequestration, to invasive species, to gene drives, to rerouted and electrified rivers, to vanishing coastlines, to the creation of artificial habitats as part of conservation efforts, to coral breeding programs, and to a half-dozen other things I’m forgetting. The basic thesis is that Nature as popularly conceived is a dead letter - buried under the weight of all of our previous interventions spiraling out of control. The world is only going to get more artificial and synthetic and driven by the consequences of human actions, and it’s just a matter of whether further intervention will make things better or worse.

4. The Uninhabitable Earth, by David Wallace-Wells. In case the other suggestions were too light and upbeat. Essentially this New York magazine article expanded into a full book. Or, more helpfully, a pessimist’s look at climate change - if things keep going on like they are, looking at the far end of the bell curve, just how bad could things get? The answer isn’t actually humanity dying off or anything like that (except through a nuclear war breaking out as a second-order effect, I guess), but they are in fact very, very bad. There’s so many ways the biosphere can start breaking down and make everyone’s life so much worse!  At the same time it also kind of gives a history/explanation of what we’re doing right now, and how inadequate it is. Though, like, it’s not as entirely bleak as that. Like, to take a couple quotes a find somewhere between depressing and oddly inspiring.

That we know global warming is our doing should be a comfort, not a cause for despair, however incomprehensibly large and complicated we find the processes which we have brought into being; that we know that we are, ourselves, responsible for all its punishing effects should be empowering, and not just perversely. Global warming is, after all, a human invention. And the flip-side of our real-time guilt is that we remain in command. No matter how out of control the climate system seems- with its roiling typhoons, unprecedented heat waves and famines, refugee crises and climate conflicts-we are still its authors. And still writing.

The fight is, definitively, not yet lost- in fact will never be lost, so long as we avoid extinction, however warm the planet grows, it will always be the case that the decade that follows could contain more suffering or less.

5. Bad Blood by John Carreyrou. To provide something that’s actually, like, fun. This is the definitive book on the whole Theranos scandal, written by the journalist who broke the story and basically taking it from start to finish The main takeaway is honestly that if you want to be trusted with billions of dollars, get good at making rich old guys see you like a protege/surrogate non-disappointing-child. Also the highest ranks of American public life are just absolutely full of corrupt idiots, but that’s not really a surprise.

[nighttimepixels]

TALK TO US ABOUT MASS EFFECT I HAVE BEEN AN INSANE MASS EFFECT/SHAKARIAN TRASH PERSON SINCE 20-FUCKING-11 AND LEMME TELL YOU THOSE FEELINGS HAVENOT TARNISHED A SINGLE FRACTION IN THOSE TEN YEARS OH MY GOOOOOOODDDSSSS!!!!!!!

I DEMAND A PLAY-BY-PLAY UP TO THE MINUTE OF YOUR REACTIONS TO EVERYTHING!!!!

you are so valid and I totally see why everyone I've ever mentioned it to loves the hell out of it

aksdjlsdfj I meannnn if you want to hear my rambling about it then hell yeah

Okay, gonna put this below the cut to save everyone else XD also- since I'm not leaving this Mass Effect obsession anytime soon, if you're not interested in seeing occasional posts about it, please feel free to block the tag "night plays ME"~

(mild spoilers ahead??)

((also for real I mean it when I say this is rambling as hell lol, apologies and no stress if absolute no one reads all this))

OKAY SO Mass Effect 1-

Stars help me, I was honestly hooked right from the start?? Like even in Legendary Edition (the combined trilogy just re-released in one "can play it on one system + minor improvements", for anyone who doesn't know) where it's smoothed out, of course it's obvious that ME1 is a decade old... but the foundation for these relationships are all there and gods I love them already.

Like - Kaiden right off the top is a delightful good fightin lad, what the hell. I've heard that he's viewed as 'bland' by a good portion of the fan community but I dunno, he's a delight and even more complex by the time 2 rolls around and you encounter him on Horizon, it was honestly Ashley I was way more meh about - mostly because before you can learn about her family history/etc, she comes off as hella xenophobic and I was immediately offended for my growing space family that she didn't like/trust all the aliens around, pfff.

(she gets redeemed a bit through further actions/evolving thoughts, but I thought in retrospect it was a bummer that they didn't flip the order there, give her a chance to be liked before the complicating factor of being so rude about aliens >:c that then she could grow from... ah well. Apparently she has a good arc but uh, let's just say I chose Kaiden at the "key junction" in the latter part of the game so I won't be seeing anymore of Ashley uh... anytime soon, haha.)

Garrus??? Is??????? The ABSOLUTE best???????????

I liked him from the start, I'm always a bit of a sucker for a rogue-detective "the system won't bring this bastard to justice, so I've got to" type and all their moral shadiness XD But he just gets better, honestly, and where I'm at in ME2 (right before the Reaper IFF mission, as of typing this, with everyone's loyalty!) I am only digging myself deeper into this hole-

-*wheezing* okay anyways -

Wrex is AMAZING I love fightin' middle-aged krogan bastard, gods. Liara is great too, I'm a sucker for a wlw relationship (playing fem!Shepard, so) - buuuut I'll admit she's a bit more one-note in ME1. Last week while I was still on ME1 I remember hearing (while trying to dodge spoilers) that her arc is really good, though. I think they leaned a little hard on the 'innocent but sexy' sterteotype on her (so despite the yikes aspect of a few of the things I've learned in ME2, lol, I actually really like the complexity that's been added to her character.)

Saved Liara first, so by the time I got to Noveria and had the standoff with Benezia there was the chance to have emotions over Liara having to face her TwT and of course, I made the questionable but quality decision to free Queen Rachni heheh. no ragrets

More than a blow-by-blow of my choices though I totally wanna take the chance to say that even in the mild jankiness of ME1 (goddammit, the Mako.... please..... please just go up this impossible cliff I just want to resource hunt-) the way that the lore, both obvious/key to main plot and the lesser/filler/background/world-building kinds... I just love it. It incorporates it well, you can go ham in the codex learning more, or just dive into the basics - it's clearly a complex galaxy (and they do an even better job in 2 of fleshing it out further), and it never really felt overwhelming. It was pretty natural figuring it all out-!

Plus the interesting implications of resource hunting amongst the sapient races, and the little side missions you better bet I did every one of- there's so much rich depth in the story if you do 'em!! (And that lead with that Keeper side mission...? Looking back, damn, clever foreshadowing-!!!)

And oh my gods, Ilios??? hell yeah. I loved that mission so much, especially having Garrus & Kaiden with me when talking to the hologram/computer, and more than anything, that last sprint in the Mako trying to get to the jump before it closed-???

yeet the boi-

Also mannn I love a good setpiece, and having to go up the side of the elevator, space-side?? such a cool setup!!

Plus it felt good having been Paragon enough (as simple as the good v bad vibe system is, I don't hate it, lol) to avoid one of the Saren fights, ngl. And the er, "second fight" with Sovereign-Saren.... hell yeah

... I'll admit I had to double check my choice re whether to save the Council. I did in the end, but I swear, sometimes the way they phrase things I'm like ".... okay but Garrus is right, defeating Sovereign is more important than these few leaders??????" woops. Listen, priorities, is all I'm saying..... (￣ヮ￣|||)ゞ

'Course later they emphasize (in ME2) that there were 10,000 people on that same ship and I was like well I wouldn't have second guessed if I'd known that, I mean c'mon-

Also I did indeed romance Liara in this one, so I got that scene ;Dc But,,,, I also knew by the end that I was totally gonna romance Garrus in 2 since he's an option then finally,,,,, lemme tell you the guilt as I waffled over whether to romance Liara bc of it. hahaha.

Aaaaand Mass Effect 2-

So I'm only up to right before the Reaper IFF Mission, so I don't know the ending, etc etc lol. That said, I've just finished every side mission I've found with the exception of the Shadowbroker Quest and the Arrival Quest (I've heard the latter basically leads into ME3, and the former is best either right before the Omega 4 jump or in postgame).

So from the start - fuck yeah fuck yeah what a high adrenaline start Shepard noooooo but also yes save Joker aH-

The motion comic too hot damn nice job

I loved this setup, seriously - especially forcing Shep into this situation, having to work with/for Cerberus, and the compelling reasoning given behind "why" they do what they do (I especially found it a good point that the Salarians have the Task Force, the Asaris the Commandos, the Turians the- etc... like, true, when you put it like that, having a similar group advancing human interests/solving human interstellar problems is pretty reasonable...). That said, I love too that it really isn't shied away from how Cerberus is nonetheless fucked up - or its at least done fucked up stuff.

Listen, I still think some messed up stuff is gonna be revealed in 2's endgame......... after that Horizon mission and the Collector's ship???? TIM I SEE YOU YOU SHADY MF-

aaanyways lol...

I'm so so glad on a gameplay level they nixed the Mako style exploration. A few Hammerhead missions are fine and a lot more focused than the slippery ass navigation in that glorified ATV, pfff. The probes are a neat way of getting after similar resources - and more importantly, having good levels and some good hubs (the Zakera Wards, Omega, Ilium, etc) is way way more fun than having a more 'sprawling' space that is.... a lot of empty nonsense, lol.

Then there's the fact that we get Joker right off the bat and you can interact with him so much - and him and EDI??? Get out gods I love them. Kasumi is so right when she says they sound like a bickering old married couple lol. I have a terrible feeling that some shit is gonna happen with EDI..... but I don't think she's evil as-is, at least.

Side-eying the hell out of those "access forbidden" parts of her that she doesn't even know.... and the fact that her AI core has a locked door access................... something's gonna happen gdi LEAVE OUR ADOPTED AI ALONE.

(Also Joker pls stop fracturing your thumb on the mute button)

Also please save me there are so many hot aliens in this game,,,,, the xeno/monsterfuckers really comin' through strong in the sequels............... doin' the lord's work........................................

In general, I love how many levels ME stepped up in two with complexity and interwoven narratives!! Like, to the point it'd be almost a drag to replay ME1, even though it was fun going through it (if occasionally a bit tedious with the cookie cutter rando planet science/mine facilities, lol). Like, just from how fun and interesting ME2 is, mostly! more of all the pre-introduced races, plus new ones, plus more filling in of intragalactic politics, and more interesting implications of all these space-faring races mixing....

Also gods WREX and his planet holy shit,,,,, fuckin' hell yeah my man get their shit together and also adopt Grunt yes good-

And Mordin??? My singing semi-evil scientist best friend forced to confront his choices more than he thought he ever would have???? With some of the best ongoing general report chatter of all the companions??

(when I tell you I choked on my coffee when I talked to him after confirming romance choice w/ Garrus and that 'pamphlet' and 'anaphalactic shot if ingesting-' kajsldkfjsldfjk)

Like, fuck, the fact that they actually dive into the mixed morality and horrors of the genophage, and you can confront Mordin on it, for good reason, yet he still stands his ground, until finally some bits of his loyalty mission seem to... affect him, and I'm guessing might set up things for 3 with him? Unsure, but either way, damn, the fact that they start to dig into it...

And Taliiiii my beloved forbidden alien wife TwT her loyalty mission was SO GOOD. I love how varied they all are?? Getting to defend her and discover what she'd unwittingly been a part of-!!

Zaeed is a bastard but tbh I love that he is and that he's unapologetic in him - and Kasumi omg, best thief. A heist?? Gods, yes- I love our couch lounge chats XD

Samara is..... illegally.......... she's an illegally powerful and beautiful and eloquent MILF...........................

(.... listen I'm sapphic as hell and I'm kicking my own ass for picking her up last aksjdlfksjdfl - but her loyalty mission, damn. And seeing how there's this interesting cultural subset, and the struggle with the Asari in that they unquestioningly accept/respect justicars, but also know that the impact outside their culture is a diplomacy nightmare waiting to happen-)

,.,,,,,T,,, Thane,,,,,

I am weak for morally implicated murder dads okay?? And that voice??? His mannerisms?????? How you first see him, and that prayer after assassinating her...???????? And his history/his people's history with the hanar, gods I love how messy it is, it feels so much more real!

Also Jack is a mess and I love her (and want to get her some therapy, omg), and her and Miranda nearly duking it out after you've done both their loyalty missions??? so good and makes a lot of sense-! Honestly I would love more interactions between teammates on the ship, but there's already so much the devs had to balance I can't blame 'em for minimizing, heh. But suffice to say I also love Miranda and Jacob, even if I'm softest for my alien crew XD Hell yeah Jacob, we'll get loud and spill drinks on the citadel indeed TwT

.... I could write a whole essay on how much I love Garrus oTL Perhaps because he and Tali are the throughlines from 1 on your 2 crew, I have some of the strongest feelings about them... but genuinely, he was one of my favorite companions in the first game, and how you find him as Archangel in two? Getting to help him fight his way out after he's gone nearly 48 hours straight fighting off three gangs alone, jfc. His vengeance quest and what can happen there.... That line? fuck me, that line -

It's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Grey? I don't know what to do with gray...

How DARE you come for my heart like this, devs holy shit

(also, some other choice faves so far from the series from him include We can disobey suicidal orders?? and This wasn't in my training manual... [in 1, if you have him with you @ th Thorian fight] and his whole.... pop the heat sink - in his romance ;Dc)

asdasdfksadjfkl like I said I can write an essay on him PFFF suffice to say I'm very looking forward to his romance scene and where things go in 3

But yeah gods I'm just gonna keep rambling if I'm not careful lol. Gods I don't even know what to talk about it's all so good and while I can understand people roasting the obviousness of Paragon V Renegade (v neutral) choices/alignments, I think they do a pretty damn good job in 2 of pushing it further - to the point that there were some times that I accidentally got renegade points and I wasn't that mad, haha. There's so much fun in the interactions that I just have a good time anyways~

I have so many thoughts about TIM (The Illusive Man) and Cerberus.... theories evolving galore............... and like, what the hell!! Omega 4 going to the center of the galaxy is such a cool twist, goddamn - though my heart still breaks at losing Kaiden (his line if you haven't romanced him?? about feeling like he lost a limb when he lost you??? holy shit.... but I also can't blame him for not trusting Cerberus to the point of it affecting his ability to trust Shepard... like fuck Shep go after himmmm) I'm really excited to see where that goes since he comes back in 3, and what the fuck happens with Cerberus bc while I love the fact that obviously there are a lot of people in it for the right reasons, doing good work, there are those that are doing the opposite, and I have a very bad feeling about where TIM will end up landing....

All that said though I need to do the Reaper IFF mission (where I'm lightly spoiled as to getting That Boy, but not how/what happens to make it so - just that it's apparently wise to have all your side missions done before getting him...) and the actual Omega 4 jump. So we'll see what happens and what I think about it from there heheh!

.... major kudos and genuine props if you made it here to the end, I am so sorry for not editing on condensing all this, and appreciate you so much ;w;