#it'll be late but maybe
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canisalbus · 7 months ago
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✦ Freshly ordained ✦
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angst-and-fajitas · 26 days ago
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Emma's Pantheon fic list (literally everything I'm working on)
COMPLETE
• The Nightbus
Canon-Compliant one-shot which takes place within the ending of s2 ep 3, elaborating on Caspian's POV of their first kiss.
• it's about who you leave behind
One-shot, Canon-Compliant, angsty fic about Maddie and Dave and grief, taking place 16 years into the 20 year timeskip, between season 2 ep 6 and ep 7.
IN PROGRESS
• Iterations
XL one-shot, technically Canon Compliant? Told from the POV of Maddie within the Dyson sphere, as she observes three different simulations where things turn out different but not necessarily better: one where David Kim doesn't get cancer, one where MIST doesn't save them in the data center, and one where she backs up and reboots Caspian after his death. Tragedy-heavy. Estimated 12,000 words approx at completion, but I'm trying to slim it down.
• The Miracle of Backups
Longfic diving fully into that simulation AU in which Maddie makes a backup of Caspian before his fight without telling him, then reboots him after his death. Covers their relationship throughout the following 20 years, all the highs and lows of love and tragedy and the conflicts between their two worlds. My outlines currently estimate 45 chapters and roughly 150,000 word count at completion.
These two together are my magnum opus, I've been working on them since July! I have 35k down already. As soon as Iterations is ready to post, I'll start posting my finished chapters of tMoB alongside it.
FUTURE IDEAS
• collection of canon-compliant Maddspian ficlets taking place between s2 ep 3 and 4, within those missing one to two weeks between DC and London. Pure mutual-pining fluff basically. Kinda a sequel to The Nightbus?
• alt version of the first half of s2 ep8, in which Caspian DOES get to talk to Dave before everything goes to hell
• shorter, angsty canon-compliant multichapter thing taking place during Caspian's season 1 homeless arc. Kinda character study?
I'll update this post as things evolve. I just wanted a reference space for my plans, because I've literally only talked to one friend about it
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justficsiguess · 1 year ago
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uh oh another long covid fantasy. this time yandere!batfam flavored.
so I imagine this happening after having lived with them for some time (aka you were kidnapped, but it wasn't recent) so you've mostly come to terms with being around them all the time. Maybe one of them got you sick unknowingly, maybe you're at a stage where they trust you enough to take you outside with them sometimes. Either way, you get covid.
They take care of you as well as they can (which is VERY well. they're rich and smart as fuck), but you simply... don't get better. Well, you do kind of, you test negative again, but you develop long covid.
Anyways, their already fucked up protector instincts go haywire. So much research gets done, doctors get bribed, they experiment in the batcave, they do everything they can trying to find a cure. In the meantime they're still taking care of you of course.
Making sure you don't hurt yourself, don't move too much, don't make your fatigue worse. Getting you everything you want. They relocate your room to the ground floor so you don't have to go upstairs to get to your room, but get an elevator/etc installed anyways, in case you do feel like going upstairs but are too weak.
Extra cuddles in your bed when you're napping and too weak to push Dick out of your bed. Tim quietly watching movies with you when you feel up for it. Jason reading to you. Damian walking around the garden with you if you feel good enough to walk, if not he'll push you around on a wheelchair so you can get some fresh air. Bruce making you sleep in his bed when he's worried you're not breathing right, so he can immediately hear if something sounds wrong.
Maybe at some point their research dies down, you're not in any immediate danger and they like taking care of you like this... I mean, you still used to complain and fight them a little even though you've been with them for so long, how bad could it be to have you a little bit more dependent on them than before? A bit more helpless? If you get better by yourself in a few weeks, or months, or years, so be it, they'll still have gotten some quality bonding time in. And if you don't get better? Well, I don't think they'd be as disappointed as they first thought they'd be...
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silenzahra · 5 days ago
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Soooo it's the 20th at my end, which means...
... It's a certain fic's first anniversary 👀🎉
And to celebrate it... it's coming back to Tumblr tomorrow 😁🥳
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sioneve · 5 months ago
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a gift to you 🎁
(continuation from previous video)
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I imagined the timeline to be 1-2yrs after Maki graduated. Maki is now in medical school & Nico is busy with her idol activities, so they didn't see each other often (hence the perfume gift). I'd love to explore more of Nico's dere-dere side & maki-trying-to-be-more-honest side😙
This short comic wasn't planned at all, so that's why it's late huhuhu. The video part where I drew the gift box was last minute, and that led to this comic idea
(adult life nicomaki is so good; I want to make more of them ((Is this the effect of me getting older idk)) 💀)
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sleepgarden · 8 months ago
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new headdress I'm working on for my shop. Lambkin, the pet name varré gives us in elden ring, is such a cute word. The pink yarn is very light against the cream, it's hard to capture but it "blushes" in light, almost disappearing under certain angles and light! Accented with antique lace, and it'll have a gorgeous matching ribbon and bows.
I haven't posted any personal work in a while so here's something I'm taking time on for myself ^-^
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angelpuns · 7 months ago
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Having a very ' everyone secretly hates me ' kind of day smh
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sciderman · 9 months ago
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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain
Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it
i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)
really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!
undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.
i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.
people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.
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peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.
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it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."
so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.
people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.
autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.
#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before#and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed#and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way#i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think#i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks
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doodoodinklefart · 8 months ago
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back for another jjk yap sess, this time abt geto LOL...
im honestly a little surprised i never noticed this before but the way that geto (who thought that his best friend was killed and saw a girl he was essentially willing to uproot his life for get murdered right in front of him) tries SOO hard to stay calm while toji's talking and then the MOMENT he brings satoru up again and trivializes riko's death, suguru loses it. i'm thinking suguru let him talk in the first place despite the risk of letting toji reveal his pact (and wanting to kill him Very Bad) cuz he figured it would be better to understand toji's deal since he beat satoru, something that suguru trusted would not happen
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but then he starts referring to satoru strictly as "the six eyes", and i think that suguru, one of the few people that saw satoru as a person beyond his cursed technique or his family name could not help but get super pissed abt toji's dehumanization of satoru (and riko too, who he only refers to as the star plasma vessel). i just thought that it was very interesting....... suguru cared so much and it makes me CRAZY AS FUCK.
like, to begin with i think its sooo so interesting that suguru made it a point to be considerate of all the human parts of satoru despite the fact that im sure most other people assume he doesn't need to be worried about. i'll never stop thinking about suguru asking if he needs a break since he's overusing his technique, telling him he worked hard after getting back to the school, trying to rush to his side after he's been stabbed and being conflicted when satoru tells him to leave with riko and kuroi... he didn't just assume satoru could handle all that shit on his own cuz even if he could have he shouldn't have to.
also related omg im almost done i promise but!! the scene where suguru gets to the star religious group and sees satoru again for the first time...
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the way that he can't even believe his eyes, probably in part because he's acting way different but also because he thought he FUCKING DIED. and he had to drag himself out of the tomb of the stars and probably went to look for gojo's body before even going to shoko. and then he had to tell her he couldn't even find his body man WHAT THE FUCK!!! i think maybe saw a twitter post about this part in particular but he might have thought toji took riko's body and satoru's, so the thought that he went all the way there thinking he'd have to see two dead bodies of people he cared about... ugh. suguru geto i love you
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peacockrulz · 1 year ago
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Merry Christmas Happy New Years! :)
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chemicalarospec · 4 months ago
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you've heard of: aroacespec "is this person flirting with me" confusion, now get ready for: Does this person think I'm flirting with them (and also are they flirting "back" with me) because I accidentally bumped into them a lot?
#new jersey girl seems to really like me that makes me happy#nobody's been attracted to me before#but it'll make me sad if she asks me out#because even though I LOVE her i think i'd have to say no just because i really imagine myself#with a boyfriend far more than a girlfriend lately and i don't want to put her into a relationship that might end up feeling like#misgendering...#aro#ace#aroace#aroacespec#aromantic#arospec#greyromantic#greyro#I said this#we've been walking all over campus together and she's um. not a very considerate walker i keep#almost getting pushed off the path so that's whyh i keep bumping into her lol#but also she seems to like standing/sitting near me?#and i said 'i think my face is a little...' because i was thinking it felt like it got too much sun#and she was like 'i think your face is a little too-- wait what did u say?'#and i said i didn't even use an adjective but said burnt/red was what i should have siad#and she just said 'i think your face is a little'#like is that an oblique compliment??#okay the funniest part is yesterday she said some random girl came up to her and said she looked pretty and she wasn't sure if it was#flirting or just a compliment so she doesn't even know what flirting is either lol#also she calls me Data now bc i told her about hwo my uncle said my parents consult me like picard consults data lol#tbh maybe i gave her the wrong signals by moisturizing when she was in my room last night?#(kept sticking my hand under my clothes. my roommate brought her in right after i showered)#i asked my roommated if that was weird and she thought it was fine but she might not be the best metric
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katewalker · 1 month ago
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Sae not playing dragon age (yet!) but the day they will, I just know... they'll have to wait but then... THEN, they will be rewarded and be able to make the qunaris of their dream...
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ant-bunny · 7 months ago
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um... oopsie
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you naive fool, antu
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famous last words
I can't believe I was just barely keeping ahead for the whole week and lost in the final hours.... it was so close
The army of 100 unnamed tumblr users in rifty's back pocket
how unfortunate.... oh well, losers bracket here we come I guess! props to you, rifty, and ggs @dizzy-dudd, good luck going forwards
@kirbyoctournament
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feroluce · 2 years ago
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When Al Haitham dreams, it's in shades of sandy blonde and red, metallic gold and feather-blue. His nightmares are colored much the same.
Kaveh leisurely strolls ahead of him, shoes leaving deep treads in the soft desert sand. He keeps a careful distance, arms length, and in return Al Haitham keeps an eye on him, the other man's back dead center in his sights.
He curses the sand in his boots and the long line of footprints he steps into, already the exact shape of the soles of his shoes.
They aren't lost. Al Haitham knows where they are. They've been here before. They are still here.
Kaveh doesn't watch their feet. His head is constantly tipped back with his eyes on the stars and their constellations (of which Al Haitham only knows two, Vultur Volans and Paradisaea). He'll walk right into a cactus like that. Al Haitham yells ahead for him to watch where he's going.
Kaveh reaches up to touch the side of his head in a strange motion, but otherwise there's no acknowledgement. They press on into the dark of night.
Something squelches beneath Al Haitham's boot.
It stops him short, pulls his attention like a magnet and as much as he wants to, he can't ignore it. He doesn't want to lose any more ground. But something won't let him move on. Al Haitham watches as red seeps into the golden sand, spills beyond the border of his bootprint until he slides his foot aside.
It's an ear.
It's a human ear, and there's a heavy earring attached, metallic gold, gems red and green, a familiar shape, a familiar shade-
Al Haitham opens his mouth to yell. Chokes. Swallows the lump in his throat as he quickly restarts his pace. Tries again.
"Hey!"
Another squelch under a hurried footstep. He doesn't stop to look. Al Haitham is pretty sure he knows what it is.
"Kaveh, hey!"
The path becomes littered, little slices and small pieces, fingertips and knuckles, Kaveh's arms once held casually behind his back now strewn along the sands. Every time Al Haitham extends his hand to him, reality warps and bends like the twisted image in a broken mirror, lines mismatched and edges jagged. Kaveh flits just beyond his grasp, fleeting fae, no longer able to hear him or to reach out to him. Al Haitham can only grit his teeth and follow.
His right foot marches forward. His left follows. His right again. His left suddenly doesn't follow, and Al Haitham is thrown off balance and pitches forward, swinging his arms outward to land on his palms and keep his face off the ground, because he's been in the desert enough times to know what a foot suddenly being stuck can mean.
Quicksand.
Al Haitham curses and swears in just about every language he knows as he tries to spread his weight as evenly as possible, stay afloat at the top of it because if he sinks, he knows he'll be done for, and shit, Kaveh.
His neck cranes uncomfortably in his search, Kaveh had only been a few feet in front of him, he can't be sunk much further, and he's in the desert much more often than Al Haitham anyway, he'll be familiar with what to do-
Kaveh stands in front of him, empty sleeves fluttering loose. Still just out of his grasp, still watching the stars. The quicksand is already up to his calves.
"Say, Al Haitham..." It's the first he's spoken this whole time. His voice resonates somewhere deeply nostalgic in Al Haitham's chest, produces a ripple that momentarily stuns his heart.
Kaveh is sinking.
Al Haitham stretches out on his belly as far as he's able, it's quickly up to his knees, Kaveh isn't even trying to redistribute his weight or pull himself out, it's at his thighs, Al Haitham sucks in a breath and yells for him, his hips, yells louder, his waist, Al Haitham's trembling fingertips can almost reach, his chest, Kaveh drops level with him, quicksand about his neck like a noose.
Kaveh's head tips back, back, impossibly far back, until it hangs, angle awkward, and he's looking right past Al Haitham with his tired smile and gouged, blinded sockets full of starlight.
"Do you believe in karma?"
The quicksand swallows him entirely and Al Haitham dives, shoves his arms deep and pushes off with the one foot he'd had left on safe ground, because he can't, he can't, it's not the same without Kaveh, not anymore, he needs him, no one else keeps him sharp, no one else challenges him like Kaveh, if he can just grab him, if he can just pull him back up-
Al Haitham thrashes, against the sands, against gravity, against the hardwood of his bedroom floor. Clumsily scrubs the back of his hand across his face to rub the grit of quicksand and sleep out of his eyes.
Sometimes he thinks he preferred it when the Akasha was still harvesting his dreams.
He pops his head out from under his weighted blanket and lays where he'd fallen out of bed for a moment, blinking blearily against the lamplight shining from his desk in the corner. Deep breaths. His consciousness shifts along the blurred line of nightmare and reality, crosses over the slow transition into wakeful awareness.
He's home, Kaveh is home. It's dark out. The house is dead silent.
He's just going to go check, he tells himself as he peels himself out of his sweat-soaked shirt and roots around for a replacement. He's already losing memories of his nightmare, the details spilling away from him like wet ink, but he knows he needs to see Kaveh. It'll feel better to do something, anything, than try to go straight back to sleep.
He's quiet when he slips out of his bedroom door, because they both keep late hours but their bedrooms are right next to each other, and Al Haitham will never hear the end of it if he wakes his roommate up.
Lights off, door shut. Nothing conclusive. He moves out to the main room.
Kaveh sits on one of those ridiculous sofas he'd ordered three of for some reason, back to him as he tucks a lock of hair behind his ear. A mostly-empty wine bottle stands tall on the table, next to the cobbled-together remains of an architectural model that's been picked and fussed over for four days straight now.
"Kaveh? What are you doing?"
This earns him an exaggerated startle, but Kaveh doesn't turn to look at him, preoccupied with whatever new sketch or blueprint he probably has in his hands. "Ohhh, nothing," he slurs cheerfully. "Just working. Just thinking."
Kaveh has always been the world's chattiest drinker. Al Haitham waits for the rest of it.
"Say, I think...I think I asked you this years ago, back then, but you never answered me." Al Haitham feels all the blood drain from his face in ominous familiarity, drip cold down the length of his spine. Kaveh sinks into the couch until he can tip his head over the back of it, looking up at him with a tired smile and exhausted eyes.
"Do you believe in karma?"
#genshin impact#haikaveh#al haitham#kaveh#kavehtham#these two have had me chewing concrete lately god#3.6 got me frothing at the mouth#something about al haitham trying to save kaveh from himself and his own guilt complex and self-sabotage wheeee my heart#and he's normally so self-assured but he fucked it up spectacularly the first go around- good job baby-#and now it's years later he's trying again but it's something he's barely chipping away at not to mention Kaveh not wanting his help lol#and so some of Al Haitham's nightmare is objective fact and some of it is his own subjective pov#Kaveh loses his arms and ears bc al haitham is frustrated that he won't hear him out or reach out for help#and he keeps his eyes up and eventually blinds himself bc al haitham thinks of him as too idealistic and blind to reality#and kaveh does all this to himself bc when you ask al haitham about his troubles he talks about people who cause trouble for themselves#kaveh pondering the concept of karma in relation to his bad luck and misery and guilt about his father's death in the quicksand *fans self*#al haitham starting to get just a little nervous that maybe he really he can't do anything about this#or that one day it'll be too little late ough. love when I can whump character by whumping the other.#two for one special buy one get one two birds stoned at once type of deal#i have a Vision about them and their stupid dumbass relationship dynamic that I need to yell about later but for now: this#written while listening to A Sadness Runs Through Him by The Hoosiers which hilariously was introduced to me as a pla Emmet song#'but here was a man mourning tomorrow; he tried to finally drown in his sorrow'#'oh he could not break surface tension; he looked in the wrong place for redemption'#'don't look at me with those eyes; I tried to unheave the ties; turn back the tide that drew him in'#'but he couldn't be saved'#'a sadness runs through him'#extremely kaveh and haikaveh song for me ough#my fics#gore#body horror#I mean it's pretty unrealistic but still just in case
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tracle0 · 8 months ago
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Small writing tip
I've found myself getting lost in chapters quite a lot. Finding the sentences dawdling or meandering, or just not being fully sure what my intention is anymore. To try and counter this, I've started writing little plans for each chapter before I start writing, it, and keeping it at the bottom of the document.
Some examples (from my lil prophet story woo):
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nd in this case, 'bus scene' ended up needing expanding too:
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It's very base bones, very rough, just an outline of what happens plot-wise and maybe emotion-wise, if it's going to be a heavy chapter. Helps to have something to refer back to. I don't know if it's useful or helpful to anyone else, but could well be? Food for thought :)?
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arlathen · 2 months ago
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ohhh lol. in the inquisitor, solas sees someone in the same position as he is currently in -- blessed, maybe, to have not gotten there through a series of mistakes and miscalculations on their part, but in a position of lost personhood and unwanted worship that very few people could relate on. so it makes sense that he feels sympathy/affection toward them.
in rook, he sees someone who seems poised to make the same mistakes and fall prey to the same traps he did. so we can see how the primary emotion/sentiment would be Frustration, particularly when they act against him trying to fix things and/or don't listen to his advice.
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