arlathen

[arlathen]

nothing funnier to me than when AI does math wrong. like I get why it happens, it's a language model that's treating the numbers you feed it as words rather than integers and then giving you an answer based on how those words typically appear in a block of text instead of actually performing a calculation. but the one thing computers are genuinely incredible at. you fucked up a perfectly good calculator is what you did, look at it it's got hallucinations

[arlathen]

i love pillars of eternity they have the courage to go "your faction options are the mob, the cops, or a group of religious extremists, and yes you have to pick one"

[arlathen]

[arlathen]

something something aging userbase but it says a lot about how expensive groceries have gotten that in college buying a $4 thing of morning star chicken patties was suuuch a splurge and now buying a $5 thing of morning star chicken patties makes me go "oh good! so affordable!!"

[arlathen]

never forget the universal rule of the order of things: People Will Not Read It

[arlathen]

I am right about things you have never even heard of.

[arlathen]

playing retro games that you don’t have personal nostalgia for is a great way to realize how unforgivably horrendous things like level design were back in the day

[arlathen]

u sound like the coolest dm ever fyi :3

[arlathen]

me, the biggest brained DM in the world: i am going to have our warlock's patron tell him that because he failed to do a specific thing for him, he either has to kill one of the party members who stopped him from doing the thing or his pact will end. if he kills one of the party members, i will resurrect them with a cool new feat. if he doesn't, then his dark secret will come out. either way, what fun tension in the party!

the warlock player dming me at the end of session: my character is going to kill himself instead of one of the party members

me:

[arlathen]

uncensored on bluesky and twt

[arlathen]

Just saw the codex in the rotunda about Solas’s fresco and I’m hung up on him saying:

“This is her fortress. These are her actions.”

Skyhold is really Lavellan’s Taj Mahal 😭😭😭

[arlathen]

collapses in your arms princess style after casting the biggest evil most fucked up spell you've literally every seen

[arlathen]

you know what actually, let this be its own post

[arlathen]

Diabolical horny Solas HC married 33yo woman again -- here's some just to get your jimmies going:

Solas has def had angry wall sex against his murals in Skyhold and has had to redo his paintings because the paint was still wet 🖌️🎨 cleanup was not easy after that one.

When his partner rides his face he deffff holds onto their hips and keeps them pinned to him, leaving little half moon marks from his nails in their skin. They linger, and he kisses them later with apologies for being so rough but secretly loving that a bit of him has stayed with his partner.

He's very possessive -- Inquisitor picks up on this, and intentionally flirts with others in front of him just so they can get a rise out of him when they're alone later. Maybe this is what leads to the angry wall sex 🤔

your credentials are staggering bestie

i've seen multiple pieces of fanart w solas doing his frescoes shirtless. you know. to avoid the mess. can EASILY see a "ohhh your arms and shoulders must be so sore let me rub them" turning into "ruining a portion of wet plaster and having to scrape it off and start over tomorrow"

a lesson in self-control, mister dread wolf!!!

[arlathen]

i need to befriend a married 32 year old woman who wants to trade the most diabolically horny solas headcanons. i think she could get me writing again.

[arlathen]

Solas 14/??