#it’s the one with like 6 boogies I think

[ih3artreggie]

ANNALATIONS is in session!

verse 9:99 – "kaito saeki is the goat"

i don't think many people know about one of my bestest friends in every single one of my drs – kai saeki, otherwise known as Nine (for reasons to be explained). Allow me to introduce him...

inspired by macknshift!

originally, kai was only in my loric dr. if you're familiar with the lorien legacy series (which i doubt you are), he IS number nine. just a normal guy!... so normal............ anyways, regardless of normality, he was my favourite character in the lorien legacies series #4EVER and i thought 'why not script him in'! he makes everything 10 times more fun.

the most recognisable dr you'd find him in is my f1 dr, although he is a part of my big three – fame, marauders, AND f1.

in my F1 DR, kai is a pro surfer in the world surfing league, and was an olympic silver medalist at the tokyo 2020 games (praying for the paris 2024 gold!). we met because we were both red bull athletes, and #traumabonded over it

in my MARAUDERS DR, he's in slytherin and plays as beater for the quidditch team (he is really good at knocking people out. in a good way!!!...). he's #enemies with sirius, and unknowingly on regulus' hit list (aren't we all?)

in my FAME DR, he's a friend from uni who is currently a middle school teacher and football coach! riveting stuff

...and in my LORIC DR, he's an alien with superpowers and a penchant for violence. what's new!?

i'm not joking when i say i've been obsessed with this man since 2019...................................... it's okay! i'm so normal. anyways, over the course of those five years, i've struggled with finding a suitable fc for him (this is a recurring problem you will notice with me). in my f1 dr, his career is hugely inspired by kanoa igarashi, who is in the photos above.

the current fc i use for kai is takahiro yaguchi (below). i felt like i'd seen a glimpse of heaven when i found him [sniffle].

MORE KAI FUN FACTS!! (specifically f1 dr related)

he's japanese american, and competes under the japanese flag despite being born in chicago

he's competed under the number 9 since he started surfing professionally, which is why people call him nine as a nickname. in the WSL, he's synonymous with his number – the same number i use in f1

lived in chicago for the first few years of his life, and then moved to huntington beach for surfing

he has a brother that's 10 years older than him named tadashi

when kai saw big hero 6 in cinemas he had to get up and leave when tadashi died in the movie because he couldn't stop crying and thinking of his brother 😭 (he was 15)

he's like. 6"4. NEEEEEVER lets it go. or lets me forget. it is hard to forget with him looming over me

the two songs that remind me of him the most are BOOGIE by brockhampton and tell me by wonder girls, the latter being my ringtone for him 😏 (he hates it)

HE HAS A REALLY BAD RESTING BITCH FACE 😭😭😭😭

he has so many tattoos that he's lost count of them. the one i like the most is 'born to ride' which is across his shoulders. it's sick

he is the most sun safe person i've ever met. he is never outside without sunscreen

i think that's all......... honestly i just wanted to yap, so expect a regulus related post coming your way soon!

this has been episode 1 of annalations, so i hope you enjoyed! catch you on the next one...

[thechanglingchronicles]

Session 6 of last life my beloved

[latenightdaydreams]

"Can you pretend to be my boyfriend for a few minutes, please? Those guys won't leave me alone.."

Feel like Mafia König would get a kick out of this.

Mafia!König x Reader (fem)

MDNI🔞

Part 2

Master List✍🏽

>cw: fem/afab, intimidaion, light violence, suggestive moments

1.0k word count

.

.

König was walking down town late one night just enjoying the liveliness of everyone gathering and having fun after dark. His eyes drift from beautiful woman to beautiful woman mindlessly as he continues on. Then he feels a smaller hand slip into his. He turns his head to make eye contact with you, gazing up at him with such wide eyes. A small smirk curls at the corner of his lips.

“I’m sorry, but those men won’t leave me alone.” You glance over your shoulder at them, his gaze follows. “Can you pretend to be my boyfriend?”

König eyed the small group of pathetic men. Who goes out to harass beautiful defenseless women? He tightens his grip on your delicate hand as he nods his head. “I’ll be your boyfriend, Prinzessin.” His Austrian accept drips smooth like honey.

König takes a moment to inspect you, taking in every inch of your body. He wouldn’t mind really having you as his girlfriend. The perfect piece of eye candy. What a fun turn of events for him tonight.

“Hey! Love, come back.” One of the men shouts at the two of you as you continue to walk on.

König lets go of your hand, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and turning around to face the men. Standing at 6 '10 with an impressively muscular physique and being the Don of his organization, he puts the fear of God in most people with a single look. He isn’t afraid of anything.

The look on the men’s faces drop slightly as they see your smaller frame is pressed tightly against König as his arm caresses your waist in a tender and possessive manner. He slowly guides his hand to your ass and squeezes, causing you to blush. They exchange glances before deciding to approach you anyway.

“Why did you leave us for this old man?” The leader speaks up once more.

König laughs before removing his arm from you and stepping in front of you to block your stunning body in that red party dress from their view. He crosses his arms over his chest, showing off just how big they are. The group stops only a few feet from König.

“Do we have an issue boys?” König speaks in a condescending tone.

“That my girlfriend you put your hands all over. She’s just drunk.”

The man attempts to walk around König and grab your arm, but König grabs his arm first. The younger man looks up at König with a glimmer of fear in his eyes as he feels his powerful grip on his arm. He leans down to be able to speak in his ear. “Do not lay a single finger or her or I will personally snap them off one by one.” König’s voice comes out as a low growl.

“Let me go! Who the fuck do you think you are?!”

“König.”

The simple mention of his name causes the group to slowly back up, not even attempting to give their friend back up. König, the illusive man, is only known by name in this city. He’s sort of a boogie man, a demon in the shadows.

“I- I- I didn’t know she was yours.”

“You didn’t see this older man’s arm around her?” König laughs and pulls the smaller man closer like a ragdoll. “You really need to learn some fucking manners.”

You stand behind König watching this all unfold. When you hear who the mysterious man you ran to for help is, your own stomach does a flip. The lore attached to this man makes your skin crawl, and yet here he is defending your honor.

König lets go and punches the man with such force he falls back on to the ground. He quickly begins to scramble away, attempting to pick himself up but the rush of terror causes his whole body to shake. König takes mockingly slow steps as the man attempts to back up.

“Where are you going? I thought you wanted to show off how big of a man you are?”

“No, I’m sorry! I won’t do it again!”

Without a second though you walk forward and grab König’s arm. You fear what he can do to the man, probably things that you don’t want to see. Your soft eyes gaze up into König’s as he turns back to you. For a second, you fear him growing angry with you.

“Ja, Prinzessin?” His tone changes in a split second to a gentler softer tone for you.

“I- I think he’s learned his lesson.”

König can see the uncomfortable look in your eyes as you beg him to leave the man alone. His gaze turns back to the scared man on the ground with blood pouring from his mouth onto his shirt. The group he was with had fled by this point. In his mind he weighs his options before deciding to listen to you.

“I never want to see you or your friends again. My men will know who to look for.” He threatens.

“I promise! Never again.” The man scrambles to his feet and turns to run away.

König watches the man rush off into the crowd to get out of König’s sight. He turns back to you and places his arm back around your waist and pulls you into a tight hug. His other hand went back down to your ass and squeezes the plump flesh tightly.

“What’s the matter? Are you a good girl? Don’t like to see people hurt?” He asks in a tender tone as he takes in every inch of your beautiful face.

“I don’t.” You whisper almost feeling afraid now that his full attention is on you.

“That’s okay.” His hand moves from your rear to your face, gently caressing your jaw. “Such a delicate thing. Are you afraid?”

You shake your head no, but he can tell that you’re lying. “I don’t hurt beautiful women. What’s your name, Prinzessin?”

“Y/n.”

“Well, y/n, I’ve enjoyed being your boyfriend for the night. I’d love to really take you out, maybe make you my girlfriend for real.”

“I—”

König leans in to kiss you before you can reject him. His hands travel over your body as his mouth presses hungerly against yours. He slowly pushes your back against a building's brick wall, moving one hand around the hem of your dress desperate to see, touch, taste… your pussy.

When he pulls away from the kiss a string of saliva connects the two of you still. “I’ll walk you home, Prinzessin. I wouldn’t want someone else to bother you.” He say’s covering his desire fuck you with concern as you both begin to walk in the direction of your apartment.

Part 2

[pianostarinwonderland]

book 8 foreshadow ⁉️ in MY halloween ?!?! 🤯 more likely than u think ! 😳

When I saw Jack Skellington in the last trailer before the Abema stream for this Halloween, I thought, "Oh. Oh this is going to be good. This is going to be so good for the main story."

I've always had a feeling that we were going to meet the Great Seven somehow, where the characters realize the revisions made in the stories they heard of them vs. what actually happened. After all, Twst brings up more than once the idea of history being revised (especially through Lilia's dialogue). And when the first Lost in the Book event with Stitch came out, that possibility has been made even more open. And now with the way this Halloween is written, it feels like a setup for main story.

Halloween, being Twst's biggest event, is the one event that the Twst writers like to use to foreshadow the main story. Halloween 2/Endless Halloween and Glorious Masquerade have been used as foreshadow to Book 7's events. The latter was also used as a kind of reflection of Book 6's story, so in some ways, GloMas was also a transitory period between Book 6 and 7 (and notably, the GloMas stream was also the same stream where they put out the last trailer for Book 7). However, more importantly, in the context of this post, it is worth noting that Halloween 2 came out when Book 6 was still in its first part. Hence, this Nightmare Before Christmas event foreshadowing a Book 8 while we're far from done with Book 7 is very much plausible and that's why I fully believe this.

Here in the Lost in the Book with Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas event, we have Skully J. Graves, a character whose aesthetic not only matches most with Jack Skellington but also idolizes him, who meets his Halloween idol. This is the first time we see any Twst character meeting not only their idol but the Disney character they are twisted from. This is huge! Considering how distant that Twst is set from the time of the villains and heroes, it had always seemed impossible that such a meetup could occur. But slowly, Twst is revealing to us that there are ways that this could happen.

But here's the truly delicious part: We witness Skully learning what kind of person Jack Skellington really is. To Skully (and the community that he grew up in), Jack is a feared Pumpkin King who values the solemn kind of Halloween. However, the real Jack is someone who wants to celebrate Halloween together with people and—at least in the setting of the event—leans towards a Halloween that is more festive and jolly, akin to his wonder for Christmas in the movie. And this shakes Skully to the core, so much so that we see him lose it in Episode 3. We watch him continuously push for his ideas, to the point that he puts his idol to sleep.

If this is foreshadow to Book 8, will we see our characters face that same disillusion? Is that why we have all 7 Overblot characters in this event? Because let's be real, while everyone has a form of admiration for the villains, those 7 are the ones who idolize the Great Seven the most. For fuck's sake, their OB phantoms are the Great Seven in some form. And more importantly: How will they feel learning that everything they've learned is wrong? Will they be like Skully and start fiascos as they cope with the knowledge that has been unfortunately bestowed on them? Or will they grieve for a bit before recovering quickly? Will they, like Skully, start aligning with the opposite side (Skully aligning with Lock, Shock, and Barrel and consequently, Oogie Boogie)? Or will they stay on the same camp, just with more wariness?

But once they get past that, what then will they do? What measures will they take to learn more deeply about the huge historical revisionism that occurs? Will they even do something about it? Where do we play in as the MC that receives these dreams about the stories that did happen?

Something that I do want to bring up is, how do they even meet the Great Seven? One could say, oh they could get sucked into another book, but for characters so grand and worshipped, it feels too little to do something like that. Besides, unless they do something different for the ending of this event, they will come out of the book, not remembering a single thing. Book 7 allowed us to peer into Lilia's past—which felt unreachable—through his dream. Is there a possibility that Malleus might use his unique magic? To peer into someone's dreams about the Great Seven?

... To peer into our dreams?

But imagine if somehow, the Great Seven were alive again and about to wreak havoc in modern Twisted Wonderland. How would they even be revived? I have an old theory about this where the 7 Overblots are used for it. Of course they are just theories made 4 years ago, but it remains as something that haunts me, especially when Idia outright states that someone has to be behind the OBs. We have yet to learn either what occurred between Crowley and Idia's parents in Book 6.

As an end note, it is very intriguing to see where Twst is going. I'm very excited how the main story will turn out from here, and what will happen once we get past the last dorm's arc.

[restinslices]

Ahhhh after some thought I’ll choose the earthrealm men with a lovey dovey s/o 👉🏻👈🏻

back to requests a mere 6 days after saying I was gonna take a break. Was that post a little unnecessary? Yes, but I didn’t want anyone to get mad at me for not posting everyday and not getting to requests immediately. ANYWAY, back like the flu.

Johnny Cage

Johnny “Loves Attention” Cage is having the best time 

Do y'all remember how much of a cornball this man was in the game? He has no shame 

So a significant other who also has no shame? He's getting on one knee as soon as possible 

He tries to out cornball you 

He loves it all. The stupid nicknames, the cuddling, the gifts, the giggling, all the adoration, he's just in love

Definitely returns the favor. If you buy him smth, he's buying you smth (let's ignore that debt), you give him a nickname so he gives you one. It goes on and on

All this lovey dovey shit might exhaust some people. Johnny is not some people. 

The nicknames are probably his favorite part. He makes the most atrocious nicknames up because you won't be upset 

Some real dumb shit like Oogy Boogy Sweetie Weetie Cutie Patootie Kissy Face- yeah all that shit is one nickname. Why? Because it's funny to him and you'll laugh 

The type to get y'all dumbass matching shirts 

“If found return to stupid” “I'm stupid” 

Those type of shirts 

Everyone hates you because it becomes a competition of who can be the most corny. It's tortuous for anyone near you 

Cannot express enough how much this man enjoys the attention you give him. If one day you decided to ignore him as a joke, he'd actually be so sad and notice immediately 

He just adores having a corny lovey dovey partner. The best thing to happen to him. 

Kenshi Takahashi 

He doesn't hate it but he definitely needs a breather sometimes 

Having a lovey dovey partner isn't terrible to him. All the touching and nicknames and being spoiled is definitely cute to him, but being lovey dovey also means you're on him a lot. Kenshi doesn't give me huge extrovert vibes so I think because you're so extreme(?) that there's times when he needs a break 

He thinks it's adorable though. He likes feeling wanted so he likes how outwardly you are with your love 

Idk if he likes all the nicknames though. I can see him easily cringing if you go overboard 

Idk how he'd feel about you spoiling him. He doesn't hate it but he feels like everytime you give him a gift, he has to give you one and he ain't got that shit on him. His own thoughts are running him dry 

When his social battery is recharged I think he'd like how physical and sweet you are

He enjoys how loved you make him feel. He's just not sure how to respond sometimes. I can see you saying something really corny and although he thinks it's cute, his brain doesn't move fast enough and he ends up just staring at you 

He rolls his eyes a lot too so it can give the appearance that he's annoyed by you but it's definitely not that 

You want some corny shit he'll definitely like? Matching jewelry. He'll eat it up like it's a cookie 

Also draw over his tattoos. He loves it 

Loves the corny shit his brain just legit shuts off sometimes 

Kung Lao

Like Johnny, he enjoys the attention 

Idk if he necessarily enjoys all the corny things. I don't get a strong feeling from him. Maybe it depends on the day 

Likes the attention and spoiling but all the corny nicknames and shirts and just being a total sap makes him a little uncomfortable at times 

Once again, it depends on the day. Sometimes he's all for it and sometimes he's like “let's calm down for today”

Gets you a matching hat but without all the sharp shit because he doesn't trust you with sharp objects 

He's a mix of Johnny and Kenshi tbh

He refuses to wear those corny matching shirts. You'll have to kill him 

That applies to other things too

Those corny nicknames Johnny would make up? He'd prefer a beating from a serious Spiderman 

“Aw my Snookie Wookie-” “I'm gonna shoot myself right here right now. Please stop”

It's cute and he acknowledges that it's how you show love but certain things just ain't gonna work with him

Especially in public certain things just won't work with him because he has an ego and thinks certain things will make him look weird. It's giving insecure teen 

Don't doubt his love for you though. He loves his little sap. Just take it a bit slow 

At some point a switch would flip and he'd go from being embarrassed to thinking “wow, I'm so great my partner is willing to look silly in front of others!”

Now he feeds into your corny bullshit

A win is a win

Raiden

I fully believe him and Liu Kang are romantics, therefore he loves it 

He gets flustered easily so tons of affection makes his face go red and all that cute shit 

His brain also short circuits like Kenshi's. He's so bad at pretending he's not flustered 

“Are you blushing?” “...” “...” “...” “Raiden?” “Of course not”

Likes the consistent physical contact 

Spoiling him also makes him short circuit. He's trying to think of how to thank you but all that comes out is “oh!”

Adores you just as much as you adore him 

He likes gift giving. And idk mean just jewelry, I mean “you got me all these gifts so I'm gonna bring you a bunch of produce and hey, maybe we can cook later”

We saw him collecting cabbages like Cabbage Man from ATLA in the beginning of the game, he gotta still have the hook up

Loves receiving cheek kisses 

Man is so weak in the knees. Kung Lao can yell “STAND UP!” all he wants. That shit is not happening 

Play with his hair. Once again, weak in the knees 

He's having a great time. Sure he's easily embarrassed but it's not like “omg, you're being weird. Stop”. It's more of a “I love this but I feel like everyone's looking”

You two are super lovey dovey but not as obnoxious as you and Johnny. Johnny is like “you can't out corny me” and Raiden is just tryna vibe and love on you since you love on him 

All the embarrassment he feels is so worth it to him 

Liu Kang

A romantic so all that lovey dovey shit? Heaven to him 

Liu Kang has so much love to give and he's never allowed to share it because his life is ass in every timeline 

So a partner that adores him and shows him how much they adore him? Did the Elder Gods hand craft you for him?

He's honestly a mix of everyone. He wants to love you all the time like Johnny, he loves how much you love him like Kenshi, he loves how much you outwardly adore him like Kung Lao and he's a huge romantic that loves how much time you spend together like Raiden

He's so love deprived so he loves everything you wanna do 

Matching shirts, jewelry, socks, whatever the fuck? Absolutely. 

Spoiling him with random shit? He'll take it all

Telling him how much you love him all the time? Yes. 

Giving him the dumbest and corniest nicknames? He'll take that too 

He's also lovey dovey so the feeling is very much mutual 

Enjoys quality time so you wanting to be on his hip is very much welcomed 

You're a breath of fresh air since you're so kind and loving to him. Remember he has all the memories of the past timeline, then this timeline gets fucked up. He's used to constant smoke and destruction so someone being so nice and sweet to him and relaxing with him is heavenly to him

Doesn't matter how corny it is. It's all he wants 

Real quick, two things. Firstly I wanna make more MK1 intros so y’all should give me ideas. Secondly I think it would be fun if we as a unit made an MK1 oc. I’d make polls, you’d vote on certain things and then we use the same results but tinker it to our individual liking. For example maybe we know they’re Edenian but their gender is up to you. It’d be like a bunch of variants. A Multiverse of Madness if you will.

[salford-blues]

Dressed to impress

A/n: I am so not ready to go back to Uni. So fics might slow down a bit because this semester might take a toll on me haha.

Pairing: F1 grid x driver!reader Summary: Y/N shows off her little family to the world, in which they're all dressed to impress. Well most of them are <33 Warnings: like a swear word

@yourusername and @l/nandcompany

liamlawson30, georgerussell63, landonorris & others liked

My new account for my little companions! Just a fun little account for my many pets.

Left - Thackery (12), Middle - Cosmic Creepers (8), Right - Oogie Boogie (8)

View all comments

alex_albon booooooo!! Just trying to copy now 👎

> yourusername i cant just let their cuteness go to waste

>> alex_albon you know what... fairs. Cossie is very cute

User.1 eeeeeee soso cute

User.2 Thackery doesn't look very happy

> yourusername that because Alex didn't bring is favourite treat...

>> alex_albon heeyy i forgot!! Tell him I'm sorry. pleassee

>>> yourusername he said he'll forgive if you bring him some next time!

>>>> alex_albon deal!!

landonorris do NOT let Cosmic Creepers fool you. He may be cute, but he's possessed. I'm telling you

> oscarpiastri dramatic, and for what?

@l/nandcompany and @yourusername

oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, logansargeant & others liked

Omg, I've never looked so good...

Left - Kismet (9), Middle - Itchy (3), Right - Knuckles (1)

View all comments

User.3 how do you come up with these names???

> yourusername most of them are named after characters!!!

charles_leclerc hahaha... veryyy funny caption

> yourusername knew you'd like it

User.4 how many pets do you have?

> yourusername faaarr too many.

User.5 surely this is animal abuse...

User.6 Why does she have a hedgehog?? I thought they were illegal in some states

> yourusername 1. I rescued him and 2. not everyone lives in the states babes <33 but thanks for the concern

@l/nandcompany and @yourusername

mickschumacher, lewishamilton, logansargeant & others liked

Having a fursome time. Managed to snag a pic before Diablo fought the camera. 🐾

Left - Diablo (3), Middle - Meeko (2), Right - Prometheus (5)

View all comments

User.6 Diablo looks very cool.

> yourusername Diablo likes to tell people to 'fuck off'... wonder were he got that from

>> yourusername looking at you @liamlawson30 👀👀

>>> liamlawson30 don't know what you're on about 😤

>>>> yourusername sure you don't. Just like you don't remember teaching him to attack people when they're smacking their lips.

>>>>> User.12 that is a very valid reason to attack someone

logansargeant look how sophisticated Meeko looks

> yourusername oh wow, that's a big word coming from you

>> logansargeant i try to be nice and this is what i get in return...

>>> oscarpiastri yh but you're american. it's why you get bullied

roscoelovescoco whens cans I's comes round agains?

> yourusername soon Roscoe!! Prometheus and Itchy miss you

@l/nandcompany and @yourusername

frederikvestioffical, georgerussell63, danielricciardo & others liked

We wish you a merry christmas and aaaaa happpyyyy newwwww yeaaarrrr 🎄🎄🎄

Left - Ankyl (6), Middle - Bandersnatch (2), Right - Scorchito (2)

View all comments

User.7 why are all these animals so cuuutteeee

User.8 cuteness overload... think I'm gonna die

User.9 Ankyl isn't very christmassy

> yourusername I couldn't find his christmas picture, so I had to put his halloween one up instead

porschef1 hmmm meet and greet when??

*yourusername liked comment*

User.10 do any of them have a favourite person/driver? do any of the hate one of the drivers?

> yourusername yes and yes!! some examples: all of the cats HATE Lando, but Itchy loves him. The cats like Oscar, Alex, Liam, George etc. The ferrets are fond of Fred Vesti and Charles. The bird likes noone... he will attack at any point. ESPECIALLY when you're singing. He's a very naughty boy and we can blame Liam for that.

>> User.11 Liam and Lando catching strays left, right and centre.

maxfewtrell Lando looks like he might cry. Keep talking

> yourusername well I'll send Itchy his way. That'll cheer him up

>> landonorris thanks gonna keep him now

>>> yourusername right... grounded for 3 months.

>>>> landonorris 3 MONTHS???? WHY???

>>>>> yourusername cause the cats told me to

>>>>>> landonorris this is bullying!!

@yourusername and @l/nandcompany

mickschumacher, liamlawson30, oscarpiastri & others liked

Meet our newest member Koda 🐻

View all comments

User.13 awweee he's so fluffy!!

oscarpiastri I want to be the first one to meet him

> mickschumacher too late...

>> oscarpiastri I SAW THAT

>>> oscarpiastri NNOOOOOO

User.14 wait Mick was the first to meet him? Awweee

> logansargeant NO not 'awweee'. Why was Mick the first one Birdie?? Why not me? Why not Oscar? Do you not love us?

>> yourusername why so dramatic? Can we appreciate Koda's cuteness instead ta

mickschumacher so cute!! Can't wait to meet him 💙💛

> logansargeant you can't sweet talk your way out of this Mick

>> oscarpiastri LIAARRR... count your days Mick

>>> yourusername stop threatening the poor boy or else you can join Lando

>>>> oscarpiastri no please I'll be nice. Promise 🙏

[chronically-ghosted]

you got your claws in me honey, like a tiger in love

rating: E for Explicit! 18+

word count: 8K

pairing: dieter bravo x f!reader

summary: you arrive at your estranged uncle's door. what else is there to do but catch up over grilled cheese? well, if you have anything to say about it, you might end up doing a bit more.

warnings: dbf!dieter, grilled cheese as a way to guilt trip your dad's best friend/uncle into fucking you, drug use (weed), raising arizona that comes with its own warning, flirting with someone twice your age, no smut — that’s what part 2 is for, reminiscing, a cliffhanger? 👀

a/n: the original fic came out MONTHS before the mcu rumors, so either i have precognition, or the apocalypse is becoming predicable. happy valentine's day you filthy animals because nothing says romance like porking your dad's best friend

🤍AO3 Link

🤍Series Masterlist | Next

🤍Masterlist

From the voicemail of Mr. Paul Landeau, official Hollywood talent manager and agent to one Mr. Dieter Bravo . . .

Tuesday, 6:43PM

No, I’m not doing it. I’m not. 

There has to be something else out there. Look, I know Fire Monsters: A Cliff Beasts story didn’t do as well as we hoped, but Reddit says it could be a cult classic so why don’t you focus on making that happen, okay? Instead of giving me shit roles like this. I’m not doing it. 

– the sound of a door opening and the phone being shuffled – – a zipper rips –  – liquid pouring –

We fucking talked about this, man. I told you I needed something different, something new. Tiktok is just reels of me screaming and dying – it’s fucking bullshit – 

– more liquid –

I’m done playing the fucking bad guy. I’m not signing any more headless action figures for those little snot-nosed, little fuckers in line. I’m not asking to sign their moms’ tits, either – okay, maybe – but Jesus Christ, Paul, what you sent over is, like, the opposite of where I need to be. It’s for little teeny boppers with one or two B horror movies under their belt to finally break out into the mainstream – or where actors over forty go to cash in an easy paycheck. And yes, I fucking know we need something, but fuck – is this really all there is?

– liquid stops pouring – – zipper rips – – the sound of a toilet flushing –

Don’t fucking call me back, Paul, unless you’ve got something. Something real.

Tuesday, 8:23PM

OW! Motherf–

– a skillet clattering – 

Okay – fuck, that hurts – okay, Paul, what about this? It came to me in the bathroom. Remember Jack from the Christmas party at the studio’s place? So, he’s got those two Sundance films, right, but they’re in Spanish, so not appealing to an American audience. Nicki told me that he’s thinking about doing another project, one with a wider appeal, and I’m thinking I should totally give him a call. I think we could vibe. I really liked his stuff – reminded me of my old small town, fucking around with the neighbor kids, you know? Kinda hometown hero sort of thing. 

– sharp inhale then a cough – 

It’s not my usual thing, but I think we should give it a try. Gimme a call. 

Oh, do you know how to make a grilled cheese sandwich? Been craving one but I think I might burn down my house if I try again and UberEats doesn’t reach the good places further south. Oh, fuck, wait – 

Hey Google, how do you make a fucking excellent grilled cheese?

Tuesday, 9:21PM

No, fucking– 

Siri – how.do.you.treat.a.burn? 

Calling. . . Burger King . . .

No! Fuck!

Tuesday, 10:49PM

Paul-y! Baby! Paul-ito!

Don’t worry. I got an idea that’s going to make us a million dollars. 

A shop that makes only grilled cheese. But like – fancy grilled cheese. What do the kids fucking call it, ah – boogie – yeah, boogie grilled cheese. Like gouda and white cheddar, and butter churned by blind nuns or some shit. Tomato soups that have been blessed by the Dalai Lama. 

Big sign out front that says, Vegans Can Eat Shit. 

They’ll eat it up. 

Fuck yeah, they will. 

– silence for three minutes and sixteen seconds –

Fuck acting, man. Fuck this place. 

And fuck this fucking cheese that keeps burning – goddamn it!

Tuesday, 11:52PM

Paul, why don’t we hang out anymore?

When I got started, we hung out all the time, man. 

Hot dogs on the Santa Monica pier. Beer in the Pacific Ocean. 

You showed me all the cool spots that no one else in LA knew about. You got me my first bump and my first stripper. God, that was fucking wild, man, you remember? I was so nervous I thought I was going to throw up. Did I ever tell you that before? Coke probably didn’t help a kid from a small town in South Cali, but – fuck, it made me feel better. Like I could get my shit together if I really tried.  

What, are you too good for me now – is that it? Am I not good enough for you, huh? 

Look, I’ve got Raising Arizona on right now, so why don’t you come over with a six pack – 

Oh, shit, that’s right. You got a fucking family now. 

Not a good influence, ol’ Dee. 

Not a good –

 

Wednesday, 1:05AM

Fine, Paul. Fine. 

I’ll play Mr. Fantastic in the Fantastic Four reboot. 

Dieter’s thumb brushes the red End Call button and tosses his phone onto the kitchen island with a growl. He can feel himself coming down from the bump earlier – a thing he absolutely did not want to happen – and he shoves his palms into his eye sockets. 

There is more coke upstairs, but that would require him to walk through his very long hallways to get there. Very long, and dark, and empty hallways. 

He should have asked Maria to stay once she was done with the laundry. He would have done it right too – big bowl of popcorn, fully dressed, with a sign around his neck that said, I promise I’m not trying to sleep with you. 

He is becoming increasingly aware of how many erratic voicemails he just left for his agent, aware that behavior like that was libel to get him a sit down in Paul’s office with all the blinds and windows closed, Paul’s narrow face serious and using Concerned Emotion #5, as he asks, “do we need to go back to rehab, Dieter?”

We. 

There once was a “we”, now there was just “he” – in a house with seven bedrooms and a pool that could fit a sixteen wheeler in it. 

And TWO kitchens – why the fuck did he think he needed two kitchens – 

Well, he knew he didn’t need two, but it would have been cool to show them off to someone – If there was anyone to show them off to . . .

Fuck this downer mood.

Dieter snatches up his phone again, and the movement brings up his latest apps. UberEats is the second one. He taps in a few keywords, blatantly ignoring his latest call list. 

Goddamn Burger King . . . 

The front doorbell rings. 

Dieter frowns, pulling the screen closer under his big nose. Now, he knows he is high and he knows he should be wearing his glasses when reading but there’s no fucking way . . .

He goes out of the kitchen, the room still smelling of burnt cheese with the cast iron skillet in the sink and a black husk sticking to its bottom. He goes left, then right, his robe tightly wrapped around him as if he is some huffy housewife, then down a hall and across the marble entrance way – fuming – why is this house so goddamn huge – who thought this was a good idea?

And so he wrenches open the front door – to a girl, not holding a Burger King bag. No, she’s got a roller suitcase behind her, bright blue, and she and the case are dripping wet. Like, just sprayed with a hose kind of wet and her big bottom lip is trembling. Behind her, the sky pukes buckets of rain, groaning with thunder. 

Now, he likes his call girls (he always thought it was classier to call them that) a little more . . . vampy than this, but hell, he had been turned on by much less than this— than her with her big eyes, fat droplets rolling off her lashes, flushed cheeks – and oh, shit, her shirt is totally see-through – is that purple, he feels the back of his mouth flush with spit – wow, is this Paul’s way of apology because – 

“Uncle Dee?” 

And he’s mentally shoving himself back into his pants because no one in years has called him that and that was a very different time in place, when he was a completely different person and if this girl is the person he thinks it is, then – Jesus Christ, he’s bound and gagged straight for hell – 

He squeaks out your name and you smile, sort of grimace, at him and wave. 

“Yep, it’s me. Been awhile, right?” You finally give into the mortification of your stupid plan and you scrunch up your face, your hand wrapped around your elbow. “Look, I’m so sorry, this is too weird. I don’t have your number, but I panicked when my flight got canceled and my phone’s dead and you’re the only person I know in LA and –,” 

“No, no – you’re fine – sorry–,” Dieter blinks before stepping back and letting you through. You sigh in relief and yank your baby blue suitcase over the threshold as you walk in, dripping water everywhere. “Sorry, it’s been a weird night and for, like, two seconds, I thought . . . nevermind . . .”

I thought you were a fucking ghost.

You bite the corner of your lip, glancing at him, knowing it was probably unwise to piss off your one chance at not sleeping on the ground tonight — or if what you were about to say would piss him off in the first place. 

“Yeah, well, it’s been eleven years since we last saw you, Uncle Dee.” 

Early on in his career, he wanted to build up rep as not only an actor but a real tough guy, so he asked if he could do some stunts for an old cop show. For all his bravado, he ended up getting a real round-house kick to the face and it sent him reeling.

This feels a little bit like that.

“No way, it can’t have been that long. Besides, I know I left my number with your dad or your grandma before I left and —,” 

His throat closes up when very old guilt washes over him. It’s intensified when you give him an uncomfortable look.

“So your dad didn’t give you my number then.”

It’s not a question. You shake your head. You don’t tell him that your dad tried to call years ago and got a busy tone for the first few, and then a few years after that, was brusquely informed the line had been disconnected. 

He chews on his lip. 

You try to smile at him again but then another shiver takes hold of you and Dieter grimaces. “Shit, sorry, one second. I think this closet down here has towels.” 

He all but sprint-walks down one of the many halls branching off from the entrance, the ends of his robes flapping. You hear the creak of doors, several, as he digs around in the walls. 

“Why do I have so many fucking linens?” You hear him grumble and you smile to yourself. You feel like you need to wring your hair out but wouldn’t dare move from the spot where he left you.

After a thump and more grumbling, he comes back, rubbing the back of his head, but holding out a giant lime green towel. In the light, you can see the dark circles under his eyes when you take the towel and immediately go to stop your hair from dripping on the marble.

His brain is waffling, ping ponging, between his memories and what is standing right in front of him. This? This is the little girl, not his literal blood relative, but she’s Enrico’s kid – Enrico, a slugger and one hell of a outfielder since he was eight years old, whose mom made enchiladas like nobody else in the goddamn world – Enrico, whose house became like a second home, Ricky's family a better family than his own – this is the same girl who hoarded Skittles like a fiend, the same one who he took to the pool on the weekends in the summer, and the zoo during Thanksgiving break? This little girl – 

– is the same girl who is all legs under damp denim, eyes that could make Cleopatra fly into a jealous rage, and a fucking rockstar smile? 

And, holy shit, those tits –  

Dude, you cannot be checking her out. Dig deep and fight your fucking caveman brain. You’ve fucked up a lot in your life and you cannot do that right now. You cannot do that to Enrico. 

You cannot do that to her.

You notice him grimace as he squints into the light of the chandelier above you both. “So, uh, not that I mind, but, uh, what are you doing here? I mean –,” 

You laugh and it seems to echo in the empty house. “No, that’s a fair question. I was on a flight back from looking at colleges out east and my flight got grounded in LAX because of the storm. I absolutely don’t have enough money to stay in a hotel or rent a car and drive back home, so I needed a place to crash and call my sister to send me some money. And my stupid driver didn’t want to get flagged for harassing a celebrity, so he dropped me off at the corner, hence . . .”

You wave at yourself and inside his slippers, his toes curl, respectfully not looking at your damp legs and a definitely purple bra visible through your shirt. 

Your mouth suddenly capsizes. “Shit, is that okay, if I stay here for a night? I didn’t even think - I - I’m not . . . interrupting anything, am I?” 

Dieter chuckles, your expression undeniably cute, and he shoves his hands into the pockets of his robe. 

“Nah. Not unless you call making the worst grilled cheese imaginable a party.” 

At that moment, your stomach chooses to make the most aggressive growl in your entire life and you flush deeper than the cold outside. 

“Apparently someone thinks that’s a good idea,” you chuckle weakly, horrified that your body is actively trying to sabotage a normal conversation. 

Did it matter that you had posters of him in your bedroom when you were thirteen? That you went to midnight releases of every one of his movies? 

No. Not at all. 

“I got some food, mostly leftovers.” He worries at his lip as he realizes the only thing by way of something green in his fridge is the jar of olives he got for martinis. Even then, he has a sneaking suspicion he replaced the olive juice with vodka, but the memory of that night is entirely butchered. “But, uh, I’m sure we can find something.”

You smile at him. “Actually, grilled cheese sounds great.” 

“Only if you do it.” He smiles, honestly, when you laugh. “What? Don’t laugh — I’m serious. I can’t make a sandwich to save my fucking life.” 

“Pretty sure I can manage two slices of bread and cheese.” 

His eyebrows jump as his lips press themselves together and you watch the thumb-sized bare spot on his beard twitch.

“Yeah, that’s what you think and then your goddamn kitchen is on fire.” 

“Lemme change, do some rocket surgery and brain science, and then I’ll attempt to crack this grilled cheese thing.” 

“Okay, but remember we do have Chinese leftovers and I can definitely crush a microwave. This way.” 

You follow him through the halls, his shoulders loosening underneath the off-green fuzz, and you try and not to stare at the immaculately beautiful walls and expansive, clean floors, so your eyes wander, and then you’re trying not to stare at the immaculately beautiful man in front of you. 

You push away the thought that this house looks nothing like you’d expect someone like Dieter to have, as he leads you to the kitchen — all black and chrome and steel, like what a Norwegian serial killer would have — and nods to a door towards the opposite wall. He’s digging around for the last slices of white bread when he says,

“Bathroom’s down there. I’ll get it all ready, but I’m leaving it up to you. Can’t afford to lose another pan.” 

Your eyes finally drift down from the bare walls, unsure if you should be offended that nothing of the family back home is here, or accept that there was just nothing personal anywhere. You smile gently at him and nod in thanks. 

He watches you go, that bright blue suitcase flashing as loud as a tornado siren, and he shakes his head. God, he needs a drink but drinking also makes him horny and he needs every mental facility available to him if he wis going to make it through this night with his sanity still intact. 

Had it really been eleven years? He always meant to call up Enrico and the old neighborhood gang. He probably forgot about that last fight anyway – even if Dieter hadn’t – even if it wasn’t more than a decade ago. Mama Gonzales always said there’d be a place for him, even after his own father said acting was for maricos and drag queens. It always hurt more when the postcards from the Gonzales family stopped coming than when Mom stopped calling. And he always meant to send back a proper return address when he moved out of that crappy loft after his first real movie premiere but that was the 90s, and much of the 90s was spent between working shit jobs and drooling on the floors of rave warehouses. It wasn’t them specifically he didn’t want to see him like that, but anyone. Anyone who knew him before Dieter Bravo. 

Certainly not anyone who called him Uncle Dee —

Something flashes in the corner of his eye and he realizes he’s always fucking hated the fact that the a) the back of his house is just one big window and b) he never bothered to put in curtains. Because, the thing with windows is they reflect things — things like his pseudo-niece taking her top off in his guest bathroom. Reflected and in full color right across his kitchen island like the sexiest hologram that will haunt his fucking wet dreams until the day hell freezes over. 

Yep, that’s definitely your hips, your ribs, and okay—

Nope. Absolutely not. 

Dieter’s knees give out and he crouches (more like slumps) to the floor behind the island, his palms so far in his eye sockets he can only see stars.

Yeah, only stars. Focus on the stars, not the image of the curve of your gorgeous tits that’s running around his brain like a child with scissors and a Thanatos instinct off the fucking charts. 

Fuck, and he just wanted to get high and watch Nicholas Cage in a mullet. 

“Hey, I’m done. Dee, you still here?”

He stifles a groan and stands up. You smile at him, the wet jeans and agonizing white tank top gone, only to be replaced by a black Fleetwood Mac tshirt and — fuck, where are your pants?

You lower the handle to your suitcase and go to stow by the bathroom door. And that’s when he realizes you are actually wearing pants, black shorts that are practically hidden by the oversized t-shirt and are comically, hilariously, painfully small. He can’t actually see the curve of your ass as you walk around the side of the island but he is absolutely not going to let his gaze linger long enough to confirm. 

He clears his throat as you come to stand beside him. He gestures to the four pieces of white bread and a stack of Crafts American cheese. 

“H-h-have —,” he clears his throat again and his forebearers groan collectively in embarrassment. “Have at it.” 

You smile and tuck your hair over your ear before picking up the knife. 

“D’you have mayonnaise? Butter?”  

No amount of irredeemable hotness can distract him from that. “What? What do you need mayonnaise for? It’s grilled cheese.”

You cluck your tongue, an eyebrow raised. “Brain science and rocket surgery, remember? Don’t question the master.”

He can’t help but chuckle as he goes to his steel monolith of a fridge. 

“Jeez, sorry, I asked,” he grumbles playfully.

He comes back with an (thankfully) unexpired jar and tub of butter and you get to work. Silence stretches a bit too long, something Dieter has never been good with, especially with beautiful women. He loves running his mouth and sometimes he's found that the women liked it too. He resigns himself to sit across from you at the island, watching you spread mayonnaise on both sides of the bread. 

“So, uh, how are the folks? How’s your, uh, dad?”

You nod slowly and even though he hasn’t been around in eleven years to pick up on all your tells, he swears your hackles go up.

“Fine. All good. Dad’s still at the car repair shop — owns it now, actually. Makes decent money, I guess.” 

“You guess?” He hadn’t made it his life’s work to mimic the human condition to not recognize cagey language. 

You glance at him briefly before flipping over the last piece of bread and dropping a dollop of mayonnaise on top. 

“Yeah. I — uh, we haven’t — I actually haven’t talked to them in a while. Though if I had, I probably wouldn’t be here right now.” You sneak another glance, this one ladened with a smile that had a secret curled up in its corners. “Serves me right, probably.”

“Yeah. Probably.” 

He can’t help but return the smile, one of a familiarity he hasn’t earned yet. You were smiling at him as if you two had years of secrets together, memories and inside jokes that were for the pair of you alone. For the life of him and all the water in his ridiculous pool, he couldn’t fathom why you were being so nice to him. Letting him off the hook. It had been eleven fucking years after all. There are a lot of things he takes guilt free from the world. Your fucking star-eyed smile is not one of them. 

So, he lets you off the hook. He doesn’t push it. If you don’t want to talk about your folks, he is happy to chatter aimlessly about something else. But, his brain winds up, what happened that caused you to fall out with your parents? Enrico, even back then, had been a hard ass, with you and your brothers. Always made sure to walk the straight and narrow. Detested drugs, always shined his shoes, thought tattoos were the devil, never kissed a girl on the first date — 

And here you are, making fucking mooneyes at his daughter. 

Well, one thing was for sure, he muses, something warm spreading in his gut, you are nothing like your daddy. 

The hiss of the bread hitting the hot butter in a pan (you didn’t even need to ask where another pan was, you just helped yourself to his cabinets and he couldn’t have been more proud) jerks him out of his daze and he realizes that annoying silence has set in again. 

“So, colleges, huh? Anything in particular spark interest?” 

You nod excitedly as he found a topic that made you glow. Clearly, no one had asked about your interests in a long time.

“Yeah, actually. Emerson in Boston was amazing. I loved the city, but not sure I’d survive the winter. Swarthmore sounds good, Amherst too, but again, cold.” You grin sheepishly and flip the sandwiches, pressing the spatula (he didn’t even know he owned one of those) into the bread, making the butter sizzle and the air fill with a smell that can only be described as mouth-watering. 

“It’ll be a nightmare, taking out loans for those places, but fuck, I think I’d be really happy there.” 

He leans against the counter, facing you with crossed arms. He smiles a smile that he knows doesn’t reach his eyes.

“What, your folks wouldn’t pay for it? Or at least help out?”

Something sharp flashes in your eyes, like a rabbit catching the scent of a predator, before you shrug your shoulders flippantly. A well-worn deflection, he notes, right next to the place where he’s got all the places you mentioned are about as far away from California as possible. If you had mentioned somewhere in Europe, he wouldn’t have been surprised. 

“Nah. I wouldn’t let them. Don’t want them thinking they get input into my life because they hold the purse strings over my head.” You turn off the stove and he moves to get the plates out from the cabinets – something to contribute as you made him a better meal than he’s had in ages. 

“So, uh, we eat in there?” You glance down the hall to the eerily clean dining room, a place he’s pretty sure he’s never once set foot in after three years of living in this goddamn mansion. 

He chuckles and shakes his head. “C’mon, I already have a movie picked out.” 

You follow him, plates hot, down carpeted stairs to clearly the only room in the house that Dieter actually lives in. The lights down here are low, much more bearable than the white spotlights of the kitchen. Against one wall, there’s a fully stocked bar, with most of the alcohol halfway empty and costing a fortune. Across from the stairs is a massive record collection, going up to the ceiling, next to a gorgeous old record player — all wood and black vinyl — with big, plushy earphones curled up on a black leather recliner. 

But the star of the show is the wall-to-ceiling television, with a brown, mouse-soft leather sofa that wraps like a giddy, up-turned grin in front of it. 

And of course, in between the superstar television and the cozy couch, is a low glass table where he had snorted lines of coke more times he could count and where a virgin joint sits, unsmoked and tempting. 

Dieter flushes as though he’d been caught by his parents with his pants down around his ankles. 

“Fuck, sorry–,” he rushes over, the plate clattering with the glass, and he reaches for the joint, ready to squish it into his pocket when– 

You laugh. “Relax, Dee, I know what a joint is. In fact, we are very well acquainted.”

You fold yourself into the couch, legs crossed, grinning at him as you bite into your sandwich. 

He swallows, unclenching slightly as he sits down next to you. He watches you eat for a moment, trying to think of something cool to say.

“Sounds like I’ve missed my calling as the fun uncle, getting you high for the first time and all that.” 

You snort and swallow your mouthful. “Yeah, by like two fucking years.” 

“Oh, what a fucking lifetime. You poor thing,” he says, pouting dramatically and you giggle again, bumping into his shoulder. It sends his sanity knocking around in his brain. 

You don’t notice, though, your eyes falling to the joint in the small ceramic bowl. The smile slides from your face. 

“Well, you might have missed my first joint, but I’d be more than happy to take this one as my next.”

His eyebrows practically bounce off his forehead. “You’re serious?” 

Your eyes slide away from the joint to his, something distractingly dark hiding there. “I mean, if the parties on your Instagram are anything to go by . . . And, well, when in Rome . . .”

You trail off, smirking, gesturing around you as if you had any idea the levels of debauchery that were obtained in this very room. Come to think of it, he halfway considers picking you up off the couch and putting a towel down underneath your perfect ass. 

This is how it went sometimes, with the slower hook ups. No wet clothes, or grilled cheese, or bringing up family trauma — but initial touches, curling smiles, and then drugs. Always drugs. As if there needed to be another hand that tore off the cap of the pressurized, fizzy soda bottle. He’d play music then, for them, to show off his vinyl collection and have a plausible reason to rub his dick between their ass cheeks while dancing slowly to something croon-y from the seventies. 

Not that any of that would be happening with you. 

He wasn’t a complete monster after all. 

With a playful grin that he had mastered over many press junkets, he snatches up the joint and lighter, and presents both to you in the flat of his hand. 

“First hit goes to you, since you were so kind to make dinner for an old fuck like me.” 

You snort and put your plate onto the table, wiping your hands free of crumbs on your black shirt. 

“Such a gentleman.” 

With deft and practiced hands, you take the joint between your index finger and your thumb, and sparking the lighter, brought the flame to your lips. 

Just for one second, one goddamn second, he swears he saw The Look reflected in your eyes. He glances away, his cock fluttering awake like goddamn Lassy hearing the calls of another well-begotten child. He picks up his own plate.

“Hardly. It was all a ploy to get you to admit you follow me on Instagram.”

You burst out coughing, smoke chugging from your nose and mouth. “Dieter!”

He cackles, his tongue between his teeth, as you shove him away from you — do not think about her fingers clenched around your bicep —  try to sit up and inhale again. You hang your head and groan. 

“Fuck, I can’t believe I said that.” 

“Yeah, and for that, I get two puffs,” he says out of the corner of his mouth, the rest of it full of the most perfectly cooked grilled cheese sandwich he’d ever had. He finishes chewing and swallows. “Hand it over, princess.” 

You hand over the lighter and the joint, the paper slightly greasy from your fingers, leaning back dramatically into one of the many plushy cup holder seats spread out along the very long couch. 

He chuckles devilishly again, far too satisfied, as he lights up and leans back into the cushions. 

“And, as gesture of goodwill, I’ll admit that’s a good fucking grilled cheese.” 

Your eyes snap open and a wide grin splits your face. “Hell yes! Mayonnaise on both sides, butter on the side with cheese. Best family recipe. Mwah!”

“Fuck, even I know that’s too much cholesterol for me,” he grunts and digs into the cushions, feeling around for the remote. 

“Well, that’s not enough cholesterol for me,” you wink as you take the joint from the hand on his thigh, eyes daring you to do something about it. Nowhere near high enough to take the bait, he just narrows his eyes at you as he clicks the button and the entertainment system comes to life with a primordial hum. 

“Jesus Christ,” you mutter, eyes wide, as the speakers roar and the lights dim further and the screen glows, “it’s like I’m in a fucking movie theater . . . in space.”

“It’s great, right?” Dieter moans like a loving father over his first child. This thing is his pride and joy, the only thing he could stomach in this goddamn house.

The DVD buffer for Raising Arizona begins and you squeal quietly, sliding onto your back, the joint dangling between your lips. 

“No fucking way, I love this movie.” 

Dieter stilled. “Really? You do?” 

The few times he felt nostalgic for his old life — his old, old life when he was still a kid from nowhere, a nobody, you couldn’t pick him out of a line up of his sweaty, grubby cousins when they were all cobbled together like crooked teeth in front of Abuela Josefina’s television that still had knobs and bunny ears to watch movie after movie of Nicholas Cage reruns. Even with knees in his back, elbows in his ears, Dieter could quote every single line, his heart swelling.

That’s gonna be me some day. 

“This movie is from, like, another century,” he mutters as he watches you settle in, something sickening like adoration clawing up in his chest. 

“Yeah and it’s great,” you say eagerly, ignoring the way he plucks the joint out of your fingers. “Put it on!” 

He resolutely ignores the pinch in his low stomach at your almost whine and presseS the play button with a little more force than necessary. Then, balancing the joint on the ceramic bowl, he sticks his fingers into his robe, pulls out his glasses, and puts them on without a second thought – just as he always did when watching movies. 

It is only when he realizes he doesn’t hear you breathing that he realizes what he has done. Slowly he pulls the square glasses off his face and looks at them, feeling as disgusted as the day his doctor put them in his hands. 

Near-sighted. Very common. Happens when people as they age.

“Got ‘em–,” his throat closes again, “got ‘em a few years ago. Only have to wear ‘em to see things up close and, uh . . . Well, I think they make me look old as shit.” 

He can’t quite look at you, unsure what he’ll see on your face and knowing for sure that he couldn’t stand it if it wasn’t the way you look at him before. If you just would tease him about it, then —

“No,” you say, your voice very soft and small. His heart nearly punches out his throat, his neck nearly snapping in half as his head whips up to look at you. You sit up on your elbows, the darkness of the room cushioning your soft cheeks and muting the glaze in your eyes as you watch him over the bend of your knees. 

“Nah,” you say, your nose scrunching, the weight of the high clearly settling into your skin, “they make you look . . . Uh, they’re cute.” 

Dieter sucks in the side of his cheek, nodding slowly and sliding the glasses back over his nose. Cute, he could work with that. 

“Jeez, would you start the movie already?” You poke his side with your toe. He doesn’t need to look at you to hear the faint blush in your voice. 

He turns the volume up and crosses his arms, smiling faintly. You’re warm next to him, he thinks vaguely, his own high finally starting to sink into his bones. 

Cute. Definitely not a word he’s going to obsess over. 

The movie goes on. 

Nicholas Cage is Nicholas Cage with a mullet.

Your laugh is the clattering of bells in his ears and he can’t remember the last time he laughed so hard his sides hurt. 

He’s coming up from bent over, knees almost to his chest, laughter nearly popping his ribs, when he realizes your feet are in his lap. The arches of your soles, the delicate bones of your ankles, the long smooth planes that run up to your gorgeous calves— 

They are there, in his lap, and you don’t seem to mind. Head turned towards the screen, face bright from laughing, your arm arched back over your head, pressing your chest up —  it’s like you meant for them to be there. 

It’s just one hand, right? Two at the most. Just putting his hands down where he had them a moment ago. Up and — down. 

You don't flinch. His palm is on the arched top of your foot, the other just above your other ankle. 

You do smile, but that might have been because of Nicholas Cage raging again. 

And then, during another bout of giggles, he clutches your shin bone, wraps his fingers around your heel, and laughs and laughs and laughs. 

You wipe the tears away from your eyes, the end credits rolling.

“Fuck, that’s a such a good movie.” 

He swallows, swiping quickly under his glasses before taking them off and chucking them onto the table in front. 

“You’re fucking right it is,” he says hoarsely, leaning forward and plucking up the last of the joint. He inhales, letting the smoke ease stifle the tears in the corner of his eyes, gulping down a breath before offering it to you.

You take it, distracted, eyes on the credits, the light from the screen glowing on your cheeks. 

He presses up under your ankle with his middle finger. “What? You knew what was gonna happen, you’d said you’d seen it before.”  

You nodded, still not looking at him. 

He goes for a more direct approach. He pinches your calf, and you scowl, the light back in your eyes.

“What are you thinking about?” He asks, a bit sharply. He’s not nearly done having fun with you, not nearly. You take another sip of smoke before setting the joint back on the table. 

You huff, settling onto your back, pinching at your nails. 

“Just . . . Nothing, it’s stupid.”

Dieter hums. He knows when to let him come to you. He taps the arch of your foot.

“How are you feeling?” His gaze nudges the joint on the table. 

You grin. “Really good. Tingly. Warm. Like everything else is a million miles away.” 

Just the two of us. 

“Enough to tell ol’ Uncle Dee what’s on your mind?”

You roll your eyes and sit up a bit, yanking a pillow behind you. 

“Just thinkin’ about the old days, I guess.” You glance up at him from under your eyes. “Not in a bad way. At all. I just . . .”

“What?” If you gave him hell for the last eleven years, then fuck it, he deserved it. He pulls at your ankle. “What?” 

With a big sigh, you lean back, something finally breaking and, with it, comes a great big smile. 

“Okay, remember when you’d put on those plays with the rest of us kids during those super lame family reunions o-o-or Christmas? Marissa would have everything written out, all the cousins cast and you’d beg her to let you play – fucking – Bear Number 5 or something ridiculous – and she’d fight you on it but she’d relent, always putting on a show of her own – as if a ten year old could be put out like that.” You giggled, biting on your thumb, a sparkling in your eyes that made something in his chest burn. 

Yes, he remembers the incredibly stupid fuzzy ears and the bear claw mittens. The fake roaring. TMZ would have a fucking stroke if those pictures of him, baby-faced, were to ever surface online. He smiles at you and basks in the warmth of those memories, his high making them brighter. 

“I think it would have crushed her little heart if you didn’t ask,” you said, heavy-lidded eyes on you again. “I know it broke her when you stopped showing up at all.” 

His heart actually pinches at that. He knows you’re not scolding him but fuck, maybe he’d feel better if you did. What a fucking idiot he was, for leaving all of that for empty mansions and meals from UberEats and all this fucking gunked up shit in his veins that made him feel older and older every year. Like he was chasing something that was never real in the first place. 

“Look, honey,” the pet name is out of his mouth before he can stop it. He’s twisting towards you, both hands under your calves now. “I should have called. Should have made sure that at least you knew where to find me, even if things between your dad and I were fucked.”

“Oh, God, Dee, no. I don’t blame you. I don’t even blame my dad, sometimes. You just were very different people. He’s fine living his life in the same small ass town in the middle of nowhere. But you weren’t. And, fuck . . . I’m not either.”

He frowns. You bite your lip and continue.

“You know, I thought about following you out to Hollywood. Because of those plays. I had the best fucking time doing them and Hollywood didn’t seem so scary . . . with Uncle Dee out here. But, uh, I dunno. I grew up, I guess. Figured I was better at telling stories than performing them. I just knew I didn’t want to end up like my dad. Dying where I lived. Unremembered.” 

His gut doubles in on itself. Please don’t say you gave up your dreams because I stopped calling. 

“Do you still think about acting?” He asks quietly, trying to fight the faint ringing in his ears. 

“Oh God, no,” you wave your hands, dusting away his near-panic that he’d somehow ruined your life. “I really do prefer writing stories, even if they exist only within the pages of a book. Or a really bad pamphlet, once or twice. I tried to continue the plays at home for a few years, after you left and Marissa took up cheerleading and thought she was too old to play with her little cousins anymore. But it just wasn’t the same without her. Or you.” 

He realizes all too late that he can feel your pulse under your ankle. Strong. Pounding. Pounding, hard. Like you’re nervous. So struck by the notion that he can feel something so personal of yours, the smoke trapped in his brain lifts only slightly when he catches your eyes looking somewhere you absolutely should not be. 

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck, he knows that look. You blink at him, then your gaze slowly slides down, down to his crotch, as smoothly you can beneath the weight of the smoke in your brain and he battles between the desire to throw your legs off him or pull you underneath him.

It’s The Look. 

Men, women, it didn’t matter. The look was the same.

When the possibility of sex first enters their mind, when that first bloom of lust rushes down their spine and the memory of the physical exertion of fucking – all the panting and the heavy breathing, aching muscles and sweat – comes back, as real as a song stuck in your head. When that spark of imagination threatens to sway from the hypothetical to the actual, it’s a look he knows so fucking well, he might as well be able to carve it from clay, blind-folded. 

And you’re giving it to him, right now. 

You haven’t really thought about seducing him yet, no, that part hasn’t crossed your mind yet. But you definitely are imagining what his cock would feel like inside you, and you and your imagination and your wide-eyed gaze at his lap all whole-heartedly agreed: that would be a great fucking thing. 

You, on your elbows, your heel dangerously close to his half-hard cock, the glaze in your eyes having something to do with what you were so shamelessly picturing, and your short breath having everything to do with what you were so shamelessly picturing.

He was quite sure you were completely unaware of the expression your face was making. Eyes hooded, mouth parted, breath short. Masking your emotions and filthy thoughts is a skill set mastered later in life and perhaps the last time you looked at someone like that, they simply bent you over the nearest surface and railed you till your knees buckled. 

What a fucking excellent idea, his libido trilled. Now get off the couch and do something about it. I’m foaming at the fucking mouth here, man. 

Dieter silences his inner horny monster, unintentionally squeezing his hand, the one that happens to be wrapped around your calf. 

The movement seems to break you out of your dizzying spiral and you blink up at him.

He swallows. With a half smirk on the edge of your lips that you try to not let him see, you take your feet out of his lap, then reach forward, your palm alarmingly high on his thigh as you take the joint from his fingers. Your eyes flash like warning signs.

DANGER. DANGER, WILL ROBINSON. DANGER.

“So, you gonna give me a tour of this place or what?”

End of Part 1 | Next

[taylorhawkins]

14 Essential-Listening Taylor Hawkins Tunes

… that aren’t “Cold Day in the Sun”!

1. Pitiful (Taylor Hawkins & the Coattail Riders)

One of his most emotionally raw tracks. I love the strange chords he used on the acoustic guitar to convey the somber depiction of guilt and shame associated with drug addiction described in the lyrics. This is a really painful song to listen to, but it’s beautiful.

2. The Path We’re On (Nighttime Boogie Association)

Matt Cameron and Taylor share vocal duties on this tune (Taylor sings the verses, Matt sings the choruses). Their voices together are pure heaven! Also features Melvins’ Buzz Osbourne snd Steven McDonald on guitar & bass. This group unfortunately only put out 2 songs during the pandemic, but they’re a magical 2.

3. I Could Be Somebody Else (NHC)

Psychedelic in every aspect of that word, this one is best experienced cranked with headphones. Trippy as hell. Dave Navarro was right when he said Taylor is a mind-blowing lyricist and singer. Another emotionally raw tune, when he said one of NHC’s songs makes him feel naked, I think he was referring to this one.

4. Running In Place (Taylor Hawkins & the Coattail Riders)

This song takes you on a journey. It eases you in, then crescendos into classic prog-influenced chaos before it turns to a stream of pretty guitar work and layered vocals as it drops you back off. Taylor said this one was something he wrote talking to himself, trying to bring himself back down to earth and not go crazy. “The Teacher” by Foo Fighters almost certainly took inspiration from this song - the breakdown is nearly identical, and the “…say goodbye” outro is very similar.

5. Too Much for My Own Good (Phil X & the Drills)

This song by Phil X features Taylor on the drums. This is such a fun rock & roll tune that will definitely be stuck in your head for days but you won’t be mad about it. Every person I’ve ever played this to has loved it!! PS- you’ve definitely heard Phil X before, his discography as a studio musician is wild.

6. You Drive Me Insane (Taylor Hawkins & the Coattails Riders)

I love the trippy riff and the vocals in this song, it’s a California rock & roll vibe and it’s one of my top favorites of his. One of his sexier tunes he said was written about Mrs. Alison Hawkins.

7. Southern Belles

No group credited as he played every instrument and sang this one! (I think the bass is either Chris Chaney or Nate Mendel, but I couldn’t find out for sure). This is a heavy-hitting, super catchy one about his southern family roots. Really under-appreciated track from the same EP that gave us “Range Rover Bitch”.

8. Never Enough (Taylor Hawkins and the Coattail Riders)

Taylor’s vocal range doesn’t get talked about enough… The cathartic way he belts his heart out at the end of this song gets me every single time. His voice was so beautiful. Another of that emotionally raw side of his music.

9. It’s Ok Now (Taylor Hawkins and the Coattail Riders)

Another earworm, this one’s rhythm is bound to make you move. His voice is pure rock and roll. I think you can really hear how much his songwriting impacted the Foo Fighters’ music on this album, even though many people think Dave told everyone what to play…when you really listen, that doesn’t seem to be the case. This song feels like summer sunshine to me.

10. Guess I’ll Go Away (Edgar Winter)

Taylor on vocals for “Brother Johnny”, a tribute to Johnny Winter album, this was one of the last things he did musically. He SLAYED that shit. He sounds so good. Rock and fucking roll.

11. Louise (Taylor Hawkins and the Coattail Riders)

I have no idea how he played that drumbeat and sang this song at the same time. Mind boggling. This song is so unique and so catchy, I don’t get why it wasn’t a hit. The rhythm section is my favorite part of the whole thing, Taylor and Chris Chaney locked in together SO well. It’s no wonder they played together from the Alanis days all the way up to him putting the ‘C’ in NHC.

12. Fearless (NHC)

This is a Pink Floyd cover…But it’s an amazing one! It’s groovy and trippy and they’re so locked in together, they were made to play music with each other. NHC unfortunately has a very small discography, otherwise I probably wouldn’t have selected a cover…but maybe I would’ve anyway, this one is just so good!

13. You’re No Good at Life No More (Taylor Hawkins and the Coattail Riders)

Taylor and Dave Grohl split the vocals on this one and it’s such a wild ride. You can really hear his Queen influence throughout this album… so much so that he manifested Roger Taylor’s appearance on the last track! D&T’s voices together are magic as you hear on “Rope” by Foo Fighters and their cover of “Come Together”, I always wish they sang together more often.

14. Perfect Day

Only a minute long, this beautiful song is just Taylor and his guitar. A sweet reminder he wrote for Mrs. Hawkins that his love is always with her no matter where he goes. I’m sure she treasures this one. There’s so much love in it.

[beansprean]

Queening the Pawn Act 2 Part 6

Act 1

Act 2: Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10

(ID in alt and under cut)

ID: 1a. Close up of Nandor, tensed with shoulders up by his ears, grimacing slightly as he peeks one eye open. Offscreen, Guillermo sighs and grumbles "You're such a dick sometimes..." 1b. Reverse shot of Guillermo, body and head turned away from the viewer with one knee up on the couch and his opposite arm propped on the back. 1c. Close up of Nandor, now deeming it safe to open both eyes. He stares at Guillermo's back with apprehension and a complicated longing.

2a. Sepia toned panel showing Nadja and Laszlo in 1920s evening wear standing with arms around each other's waists. Nadja has her free hand on her hip and Laszlo's is in his pocket. They are looking down at Nandor with mixed pity and irritation. Nandor, wearing a fur coat and boots over a striped suit, is sitting on the ground with his legs stretched out and head slumped down, hair covering his face, staring at his open palms in his lap. Past Laszlo says, "This is what happens when you get attached to Familiar's, Nandor. Past Nadja says, "Humans are always temporary, you sweet stupid baby." Nandor talks over them from the present: "Laszlo and Nadja...say I get too attached." 2b. Close up on Guillermo, starting to turn in his seat to look back at Nandor, asking, "What does tha-" Nandor interrupts him from offscreen, snapping, "Turn your head, Guillermo!" 2c. Guillermo obliges, whipping his head back to face the wall with an irritated grumble. 2d. Close up of Nandor. Offscreen, Guillermo repeats, "What does that mean, Nandor?" Nandor stares at his lap, frustrated and embarrassed, replying, "Exactly what I have said!"

3. More sepia toned panels from the past, showing a string of former familiars. The first, an older white redheaded woman in a 1690s dress and hat, smiling politely at the viewer, saying "Oh, you're here. Has it really been so long?" The second, a white man with a neat goatee in a Victorian suit and tails, tipping his top hat down over his eyes with a fanged smile, saying "See ya, Mas- Nandor." The third, a plump young brown woman in a 1910s suitcoat, hat, and pearls, smiling beseechingly upward with newly minted fangs and saying "I promise I will write." The fourth is a young Benji in a loud 70s patterned shirt, polishing Nandor's white platform boogie boots with a faraway smile. He declares, "And when I'm a vampire, I'm finally gonna get out of Staten Island!" The fifth is a black woman wearing 90s overalls with long relaxed hair under a bandana, laughing uncomfortably and waving her hand dismissively at the viewer. She says, "Oh, haha, noooo. I mean, this place is great and all, but there's so much I want to do!" Nandor's voice from the present continues: "I get attached to these humans and I like them and... They never want to stick around!"

4a. A sepia toned Nandor from the past, reaching a hand out toward the viewer and saying, "I think you are deserving of a reward..." Nandor's voiceover from the present continues, the speech bubble eclipsing past Nandor's face: "So... I decided to just erase myself from their minds." 4b. Close up of Guillermo, face still turned toward the wall but clearly listening as Nandor continues, "I send them back to their lives before me and find a new familiar and decide to forget about them..." 4c. Reverse shot of Nandor, slumping forward in his chair, with a self depreciating grimace, eyes closed. He finishes his sentence: "...before I am to be getting so pathetic about it." 4d. Close up of Nandor in profile as he opens his eyes to stare at the floor, saying, "But...you..." He furrows his brow, trying to organize his thoughts. A flash of Guillermo from ten years ago flashes behind him, opening his collar and promising forever with a smile. 4e. Shot of Nandor from the front, hands folded together awkwardly in his lap. He looks up with large vulnerable eyes, still tense across his shoulders, as Guillermo finishes for him: "I was going to stay." 4f. Reverse shot of Guillermo on the couch, still turned away, his hand picking thoughtfully at the tassels on one of the many throw pillows. Offscreen, Nandor hesitantly responds, "...Yes." /end ID

[clownowo]

Ace attorney characters ranked based on how well I think they dance

Phoenix Wright: 6/10 he’s nothing to write home about but he took a musical theater class or two in college so he can keep a beat at least.

Mia Fey: 6/10 no real interest in dancing but she's not bad or anything. could keep up with Diego well enough

Apollo Justice: 4/10 he wouldn’t suck so bad if he could just loosen up.

Athena Cykes: 9/10 very fit. does cardio. has taken some dance classes for fun.

Maya Fey: 8/10 what she lacks in skill she makes up for in spirit

Pearl Fey: 6/10 has the physical abilities to dance but not the confidence. also has very little reference for how she could be dancing

Trucy Wright: 8/10 performer with good dexterity for sleight of hand. Music isn’t really her area of expertise but she does well enough. enjoys playing just dance with Athena

Miles Edgeworth: 3/10 he can do one dance and it’s the Steel Samurai season 4 ending credits dance and he does it flawlessly but nothing else. took ballroom dancing classes with the von Karmas but he wasn’t particularly adept.

Franziska von Karma: 4/10 she found the aforementioned ballroom dancing classes tedious but damn if she wasn’t going to perform in them perfectly. she can’t do anything else and refuses to try

Godot: 7/10 he can do a killer tango

Klavier Gavin: 2/10 despite being an internationally famous rockstar, when performing he usually has a guitar in his hands so he’s never needed to dance. he cannot dance. he doesn’t particularly want this info getting out

Simon Blackquill: 6/10 danced with Athena a fair bit growing up. knows several anime dances

Nahyuta Sahdmadhi: 7/10 i haven't met this guy yet but my friend tells me they think he'd know a fair bit of traditional dances.

Winston Payne: 0/10 or 10/10 no in between. he's either literal garbage or so bad it loops back around to incredible. he had insane disco game in the 70s but now all the rookies laugh at him.

Larry Butz: 8/10 best dancer between him, Phoenix and Miles. he’s gotta be getting his girlfriends somehow

Dick Gumshoe: 5/10 a little too clumsy and can't keep a beat well but bonus points for his enthusiasm

Ema Skye: 1/10 doesn't even try

Kay Faraday: 10/10 incredible dexterity and physical ability. lots of whimsy and spirit.

Sebastian Debeste: 3/10 despite the baton, no real sense of rhythm

Manfred von Karma: 4/10 the one to sign Franziska and Miles up for ballroom dance lessons

Matt Engarde: 2/10 he got the jammin samurai killed so I don’t think he can jam

Dahlia Hawthorne: 8/10 she can boogie. gets down at clubs and parties. arguably the most normal about dancing

Sister Iris: 7/10 had to learn to boogie to properly emulate her sister but she isn’t quite as suited for it and has much less experience

Kristoph Gavin: 1/10 he likes watching but he doesn’t dance at all

Ryunosuke Naruhodo: 10/10 the most beautiful dance of deductions you've ever seen in your life

Susato Mikotoba: 10/10 while she's not particularly skilled with a koto, she learned to dance from the best

Herlock Sholmes: 10/10 THE dancer. THE ONE AND ONLY great detective known for his dance of deductions

Iris Wilson: 10/10 raised by the aforementioned one and only herlock sholmes

Yujin Mikotoba: 10/10 took to tap dancing incredibly well during his time in britain

Kazuma Asogi: 6/10 he's not particularly good but he somehow makes it look cool anyway

Barok Van Zieks: 7/10 used to be much better, before the professor kililngs he actually enjoyed dancing a fair bit. took classes growing up. retained a lot of the muscle memory

Gina Lestrade: 6/10 she doesn't have any training but if she did she'd do fairly well

Tobias Gregson: 2/10 he's the best investigator at scotland yard according to Sholmes, so you can imagine how bad the rest of the yard is at dancing

Maria Gorey: 8/10 she can dance just fine she just has no interest. the one time they got her to dance Herlock had very courteously offered his body up for dissection. "AFTER I'M DEAD, WOMAN!"

Albert Harebrayne: 1/10 he can't. he tries. Barok tried to teach him. he understands the theory! he knows the steps! he can't do it. he can't.

[blueishspace]

Last Life with divine domains

Part 4: Session 5 & 6

Fandom

As there weren't many suggestions last time I'll leave this empty and add them to the next part of this series. So @shortystack75 and @easily-distracted-by-fandom don't worry, your ideas will be in the next one.

Session 5

Etho is chosen as the boogeyman, Grian is notified about there being 1 boogey.

Scar has no reason to link anyone except the Southlands being his biggest enemies so he probably links Impulse and Martyn.

Martyn is given 3 rules to choose from: Everyone must play without sounds, Nobody is allowed to enter the nether, everyone must use showels as their main weapon. Martyn chooses the deaf option mostly because the Nether Is useful and using showels as weapons is a pain.

Grian probably still goes after Scott and Pearls villagers even without being a red, mostly because It's too big of an advantage... Meanwhile Cleo is getting her daily arson done by setting the fairy circle on fire... Lizzie summons a storm to estinguish the flames but if you know how minecraft fire works It's hardly enough.

Grian probably doesn't spawn trap Scar though... especially not alone versus a trio.

Etho doesn't buy Bdubs a life so he doesn't get the chance to get a kill on Scar... unless he goes to Scar to get himself a life and then kills him... But that doesn't seem likely.

So, Etho is still the boogey and Martyn is never summoned to the shadow alliance (because of not sharing resources with Ren)

Meanwhile Jimmy's attempt to buy a life from Scar Isn't twarted by Joel and Grian meaning he gets this sessions Scar bonus life... And isn't red anymore... I don't think Jimmy goes back to the Southlanders though considering that the only thing he can give Scar in exchange of a life is an alliance.

Now, Etho needs to get a kill... He's not going to target Bdubs, Skizz or Tango... Really, only magical mountain is really a target at this point so considering Mumbo is more likely to stay somewhere safe I'm going to say Joel dies at this time.

Etho not killing Scar means Skizz doesn't get the enchanter and Scar doesn't chase him to the Southlanders and doesn't die in a trap... However as strong as this version of Magical Mountain is I doubt they can keep the enchanter for this long so by the end of the session BEST has it.

Scott doesn't have the lives to gift Cleo one.

Lives

Scar has 6 lives.

Mumbo, Joel and Tango have 4 lives.

BigB, Etho, Lizzie, Ren, Pearl, Impulse and Scott have 3 lives.

Martyn, Skizz, Jimmy, Cleo, Bdubs and Grian have 2 lives.

Session 6

Mumbo, Joel, Jimmy, Scott, Etho and Bdubs are chosen to be the boogie, Grian discovers there are 6 boogeymen and panics.

Scar chooses... Well, either Southlands or BEST so *randomizer*...Impulse and Martyn.

Martyn has 3 rules to choose from this session: Everyone must set their game language to lolcat. No one is allowed to sprint or shift. One more boogeyman is added to the session. I think he chooses the boogeyman version over having an horrible and painful session because he has no idea there are 6.

Tango is chosen by the randomizer as the extra boogeyman, Grian is going to be very very confused when he realizes he got the wrong number of boogeyman... wonder how Martyn managed to fool Grian's sight.

Tango is equally confused at becoming the boogey after being told he wasn't.

Mumbo can't get his boogey kill in the same way as he isn't with Martyn and Grian when they listen in to team BEST... however Scar definitely goes after the enchanter and while Joel has already decided to target Lizzie Mumbo can use it as an opportunity to get a kill... Etho, Bdubs, Tango and Skizz are all equally likely to die so... Randomizer says Skizz... Skizz is red.

Meanwhile Joel traps Lizzie's base and still much like in canon accidentally kills himself in the process... Scar gives him his one bonus life.

Bdubs kills Tango in this timeline as well to get rid of the boogey curse... Tango of course can still threaten Bdubs like in canon but he also can do something else as he is also a boogeyman, Tango is rarely a fighter and he often has mire bark then bite but this once I'll let him have the satisfaction... I feel like Tango killing Bdubs also makes sense thematically... After all, the hearth is associated with home and family and betrayal is tarnishing that which the hearth stands for.

In our timeline Etho killed Mumbo as his boogey kill in response to him killing Bdubs... So... Etho kills Tango much the same way. Team BEST splits with Etho and Bdubs going on way and Tango going the opposite...and Skizz being a red is also doing his own thing now.

The Southlanders who are spending this whole reason spying on people for some reason use this to steal the enchanter.

Joel still goes out of his way to kill Lizzie.

Impulse and Grian still try to get the wither skulls which eventually leads to Scott killing Impulse... And Martyn going to red.

Scar still dies to Scott's water elevator, there is no reason for that not to happen.

Jimmy is still killed by Lizzie's trap, seeing similar deals made in canon I thinm he is given a life by Scar to stay with Magic Mountain.

If we consider timing Jimmy probably had the time to create his exile red life shack before trading his loyalty to magical mountain so Lizzie still falls into lava.

Joel and Mumbo don't try to kill Scott so he doesn't die by ender pearl this time.

Lives

Mumbo, Scar and Joel have 4 lives.

BigB, Etho, Ren, Pearl and Scott have 3 lives.

Cleo, Jimmy, Tango, Impulse and Grian have 2 lives.

Skizz, Bdubs, Martyn and Lizzie have 1 life.

Fandom

Again, this is going to be me just asking for suggestions... However I want to say that I just now realized that despite being a conman Scar is the most trustworthy and loyal ally in Last Life.

Previous part

Next part

First part

[oscconfessions]

bonescope anon you’re so correct…

I think not only is it that the aib fanbase doesn’t enjoy enemies to lovers but it’s also because the aib fanbase babies bone

bone aib is not your sweet little baby!!! That’s a grown(?) man(?) with issues and thoughts and feelings!!!! like no he’s not a jerk or anything but he’s not a sweet little angel either. he’s not a pathetic little meow meow. and I like bonescope because im a full believer that bone doesn’t like telescope EITHER!! the hate is not one sided guys please listen to me.. (my words are falling upon deaf ears)

another contributing factor is that a lot of aib fans don’t like telescope. I used to be in a big aib server and I probably found 3-4 total telescope fans. the press HATES him

so even if you take away the fact that telescope does not like bone (and vice versa in my opinion,..) it’s hard to ship a well loved character and a hated character. Aib fandom open your eyes please

and it’s not like aib fans don’t like mean characters because they love pitchfork. but if that mean character targets their sweet baby angel snookums boogie bear it’s over for them.

I am NOT mad at anyone btw!!!! I’m a big hater but I know everyone is allowed to have preferences. But SOME PEOPLE act like you’re committing a crime if you ship two people who hate each other. why can’t enemies to lovers likers and friends to lovers likers just frolick in a field together… why must we fight..

point is. not every relationship is all sunshine and rainbows. Not every character is all sunshine and rainbows. It makes me a little upset when people baby characters who absolutely do not need babying. bonescope 2024 btw. love yall <3

(I’m a coward which is why I won’t be anon tagging this. 6/21/2024)

.

[gamerbearmira]

Can we have more of the dazzlings au

OF COURSE RAHGGGG

Ummmm. So eventually I'm gonna rewatch this movie lol but.

Yeah these guys mostly feed off of negative energy, but it's not just negative. They can feed on positive ones as well, it's just not as potent or powerful??? Like idk how to describe it, but negative energy just has more power. And they need to sustain not just themselves but 6 other kids 😭

That too. I'm still not entirely sure about it but. I think maybe??? The kids also have gems, but they can't quite use them yet. Heck, I've been thinking about making it so that they might not even know what they are. One of the triplets (usually Pepa or Julieta), will sing the kids to sleep, and sorta transfer some of the energy from that day to their gems.

Idk if Alma would be aware of this fact or not. She doesn't quite have a good or bad role yet, so rn she's the oblivious parent. Whether she literally hasn't notice or refuses to, up to you 😭

Some songs that I think would fit them best. Including the husbands, in case I do add them but idk:

Pepa: Fame/Gloria/9 to 5/Twilight

Julieta: Sweet Dreams/Money, Money, Money/ Knock on Wood/Let's Hear It For The Boy

Bruno: Karma Chameleon/Beat It/Everybody Wants To Rule The World/No Surprises

Fèlix: My Prerogative/Time in a Bottle/If It Isn't Love/Blame it on the Boogie

Agustín: Together Forever/Copacabana/Uptown Girl/Kokomo

[tylwer34567]

RGB Villain Headcanons

(Side note: Okay, so as it turns out, Boogie is waaaaaaaaay too represented in fanfics. Like I love him, but good god I tried searching for high quality fanfics for the rest and there's barely any. So, I'm including a new section to make up for this going forward.)

Samhain

1. How do they feel about people shorter/taller than them? For smaller ghosts and ghouls, Samhain feels the need to protect and dote on them. Meanwhile, he doesn't care about other beings taller than him; he's not that petty.

2. What are they like on social media? (What’s their username, profile pic, etc.) A hodgepodge of different genres (cooking, baking, music, planning on world domination, etc).

3. Their sexuality? Samhain does not have any preference on gender. Men, women, non-binary, it doesn't matter to him. He more cares about personality and compatibility. However, he has found, in his mind, the right one for him. He has a Claddaugh ring (fáinne Chladaigh) on his right hand with the point of heart towards his fingertips, indicating that he is single yet looking for love.

4. Preferred weather? Overcast

5. What’s their sleeping schedule? He sleeps for a short while until one of his little ones wake him up like a cat. Then, he resolves whatever problems they have and promptly heads back to sleep....before being wake up by another little one. Rinse and repeat.

6. Favorite music? Traditional Celtic is his favorite music, but he also enjoys rock and jazz thanks to Boogie.

7. How’s their cooking? Absolutely amazing. He makes delicious home cooking dishes that his little ones (and even powerful ghosts) enjoy. Usually Irish dishes like Shepherds' pie, blood sausages, and coddle. He also likes to bake gur cake and barmbrack to go with either a cup of tea or coffee.

8.It’s movie night, what movie do they pick? Halloween (duh), but also either The Nightmare Before Christmas or 1973's The Wicker Man (he enjoys the ending of the Christian sergeant burning in the giant wicker man by the Celtic pagans).

9. How would they hold up in a pillow war? Dude is both the fighter and healer in a pillow war. If he sees one of his little ones getting in a unfair match with someone like Boogie or Grundel, he's stepping in, gently taking the pillow from them, and promptly beating the ever loving hell out of them.

10. What’s their sleeping position? The Mummy (arms crossed over his chest) while levitating.

11. Who do they go to for comfort? He's usually afraid of going to someone for comfort. Many of ghost kind sees him as their saviour, so Samhain feels as though he needs to hide his emotions in order to appear as his little ones' ideal version of himself. Luckily, he has Boogie to be a shoulder to lend on.

12.Something small that they enjoy? The smiles of his little ones. He's a proud papa :D

13. How do they feel about physical contact by others? He's fine with physical contact or physical affection if he's the one initiating it.

14. What is enough to bring them to tears? Remembering the destruction of his culture and followers by British Royals, seeing his little ones get badly hurt under his watch, reminising on the reason as to why he was trapped in stone. He's so emotionally drained though, so he keeps them bottled up.

15. Biggest pet peeve? No one can't bother to pronounce his name right. It's not pronounced "Sam-hane", it's pronounced "Sow-wen" or "Sau-ihn". Yet almost everyone say "Sam-hane"; even the Ghostbusters call him "Sam-hane". Only the ghosts and Irish natives actually pronounce his name right.

16. How well do they take care of themselves? Very well. He look his best for both himself and his reputation.

17. What’s something they like that may be surprising to others? He loves swords. You would think that the overlord who floats and shoot black lightening out of his hands would not feel the need for weapons, yet he prides himself on his swordsmanship. He also has a large collection of swords, mostly Celtic in origin but also British, Scottish, Middle Eastern, etc.

18. Do they consider others family? Obviously, there's his little ones, but he also considers some of the Class VII's to be his brothers in a way, even if they get on his last nerves.

19. Any bad habits that they have? Being overbearing on his minions, being stubborn, bottling up his emotions, and of course the whole trying to enslave humanity.

20. What’s their idea of a perfect vacation? A trip of Ireland to visit some of his favorite leisure places and his old and forgotten sites of worship.

21. Do they get lost easily? Will they ask for directions if they are? No. He's a bit stubborn to ask for directions, but will eventually give in to get help unlike Boogie.

22. The strangest thing they have ever seen? Wat shedding his skin. He had to bully Sand into placing a memory wipe spell on him.

23. How well do they accept advice? Well enough, however expect him to be stubborn about it.

24. How much do they swear? He tries his best to be seen as proper, as to sent an example to his little ones (and some of his more... vulgar colleagues). But least face it, he's Irish, so of course he sometimes curse, mostly to see other's reactions. His favorite thing to do is make some soda bread with raisins so that if someone asks for the name of it, Samhain would look at them with his cold, dead pupiless eyeholes and with a smile say that it's spotted d*ck. Additionally, he doesn't drink often, leading to some to call him a teetotaler. However, he's seemingly one of the few Overlords capable of holding his liquor.

25. How do they take advice given to them? He may be a bit stubborn, but he will take advice if it will be benifical to his plans of defeating the Ghostbusters once and for all.

26. Do they like being in pictures? He's in netural in the matter.

27. Is there anything they’re bad at? Killing the Ghostbusters

28. What’s their morning schedule? Waking up, taking care of his little ones, and eating barmbrack with some tea for breakfast.

29. Any past injuries? N/A (bro doesn't know that he's gonna explode in the future/j)

30. Something that disgusts them? Refer back to 14

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Additional Notes

First Impressions: Didn't know what to think of him. He kind looked like a generic villain to me ngl

Latest Impressions: PUMPKIN PAPA 🎃 BEST GHOST ACTIVIST!

Favorite Fanfictions Featuring Them: (hyperfocus time) As mentioned before on the Boogie Headcanons post, there's the fanfic Perfect World by notgeorgelucas. I've already explain what happen (and my hands hurt from writing/j), but for a short summary the story is about the Ghostbusters and Janine stuck living their best, ideal lives in their dreams thanks to the machinations of the Sandman with the help of Samhain and the Boogieman. As I shown before, in Chapter 8 we see Sandman's persceptive on how everything went down. We also see his perspectives on Boogie and Samhain and how their behaviours starkly contrast each other. Boogie is described as being manic, pathetically eager, and cackling insanely to himself, highlighting how he's at his wit's ends. Meanwhile, Samhain is composed and cool, aloof and disdainful, completely opposite to Boogie. While Sand and Boogie fight off the Ghostbusters shortly after their escape, Samhain is described to have "simply watch and waited until the battle was over before emerging". And after Sandman created the dreamscape to trap the Ghostbusters (and the rest of the world) in, Samhain has already disappearing without anyone knowing (bro thinks he's Batman). It is shown that Sandman was disturbed by Samhain's behaviour and was glad that he didn't have to deal with him again. I love this characterization of Samhain showing him as the silent type that amkes everyone uncomfortable because you don't know what he is thinking about (could be murder, could be backstabbing). He also kinda to me came off as acting regal, like he's powerful and yet he lets the others fight cause he simply can't be bothered. Anyways, it's a great fic overall and I can't stop singing its praises.

Link to fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42946674?view_full_work=true

All Hallows Eve by notgeorgelucas: This is the sequel to Perfect World and the last of notgeorgelucas's Real Ghostbusters stories. It has the Ghostbusters trying to defeat Samhain as he plungs New York and the rest of the world in eternal night. Not gonna spoil much, but I can say I enjoyed reading this one as much I did with Perfect World.

Link to fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42947139/chapters/107900109

The Return of Samhain: TLDR: A father of one son resurrects Samhain into a new body and faces the consequences of his actions.

An Option of Last Resort: It's the zombie fic again :D! Highlights of Samhain in this fic includes:

- Correcting Janine on Beltane's pronouns (based)

- Vouching for Boogie and Grundel (double based well for Boogie, not really Grundel )

- Working with the Ghostbusters because he still cares about the world and is disgusted by ghosts forced to be mindless zombies (triple based)

Link to fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/503724?view_adult=true

New Inmates: A crossover fic between the Real Ghostbusters and Filmation's Ghosbusters. Samhain only shows up as a cameo, but it's a good cameo so I'm putting it here. Also I love the ending: "Prime Evil sighed and asked "So they got Boogieman too?" "Yes, can't believe it myself."

(Not me imaging Boogie looking over Samhain's shoulder and saying hi to Prime Evil with a goofy smile like :D)

Link to fic:

Day 6 - Villain by tumblr user toutchingoldmagic: A nice fanfic about Samhain if he were in Extreme Ghostbusters (in a episode, not just the intro/outro). You can find the story here on Tumblr by typing in ghostbusters samhain fanfic.

Favorite Ships: Like I said previously, Bamhain (Boogie x Samhain) is my personal OTP for The Real Ghostbusters. Despite them never actually meeting on screen (or even in other media), I still believe that they would be the power couple in Netherworld.

Favorite Images: 

(Yes I clipped the second one terribly. It's probably one of the few times they're actually together. Pretend that they're on a scary rollercoaster and definitely not being sucked into the ghost trap/j)

Song That I Associated with Them: Land of the Dead by Voltaire (Any RGB fans who like Billy and Mandy as well?)

Something I Don't Like About Them: 1. I hate that they killed him off in the NOW Comics

2. While I do like this depiction in Spirits Unleashed, I'm a bit miffed that he doesn't have an Irish accent.

Fun Facts:

He's voiced by William E. Martin (or Bill Martin), well known for being a voice actor, song and screen writer, and musician. He helped create notable songs such as All of Your Toys and The Door into Summer for the 60s band, the Monkees. He made his own album, Bill Martin's Concerto for Head Phones and Contra-Buffoon in Asia Minor, (though it failed commercially) and appeared in An Evening with Sir William Martin produced by his partner Harry Nilsson which had, and I'm going to quote from the Wikipedia article now, "Martin delivering a half-hour monologue dressed in a smoking jacket and parodying Orson Welles, interspersed with different character voices." Eventually, he got into voice acting work and voiced characters such as the Rock Man in The Point (1971), the Nightmare King in Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland, Shredder in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (replacing James Avery who played both Philip Banks in Fresh Prince of Belair and Killerwatt in RGB), and more.

According to the Ghostbusters fandom wiki, the Episode Call Sheet and SAG Report for Mr. Sandman, Dream Me a Dream has Bill E. Martin for the Sandman even though the final product has Frank Welker as his voice actor. Also, the sheet for The Devil to Pay suggested that he would reprise his role for Samhain, however it never came through.

Bill E. Martin also voiced the Trolls in Troll Bridge and Samhain's Goblins in both When Halloween Was Forever and Halloween II 1/2.

The corrected way to pronounce Samhain is "Sow-wen" like sow (a female pig) , not "Sam-hane".

He also appears in the IDW comics as well as the Halloween module, Pumpkin Patch Panic, of the Ghostbusters RPG created by West End Games.

Despite (probably) appearing the most out of all the other ghosts in the series and tie-tins, Samhain has never really referred to any of the Ghostbusters by their given name (frankly I think he just doesn't give a crap)

In real life, there's been misconceptions thanks to media like the Halloween series, RGB, and Supernatural that led to people to think that Samhain was a real god. No, there's no God named Samhain; it's just the Celtic festival named Samhain.

He's a good boy (cause I say so)/j

Final Verdict: 1,000/10 Get this man a black cat and a mug that reads 'Netherworld's Best Overlord Dad)

[cottoncandyswirl828]

Zuma Appreciation Week: Day 6 - Favorite Vehicle

I honestly never gave much thought to which vehicle was my favorite, so this is another one I had to think about for a minute. Ultimately, the title of favorite Zuma vehicle has to go to the Adventure City Hovercraft. A hovercraft is just a super cool vehicle in my opinion, and the Adventure City version can separate into a submarine and a life raft, which is just such a clever and unique upgrade to the hovercraft’s original submarine mode that really makes the Adventure City hovercraft stand out against the rest of Zuma’s vehicles. That means that for today’s prompt, we’re headed to the big city!

“Hey guys! Great to have you all back in Adventure City!”

“Great to be back, Liberty.” Ryder replied, “Skye’s been looking forward to this trip for awhile now.”

“Hey girl!” Skye called as she practically bounced out of the Paw Patroller, “You ready to hit the town? I heard there’s this big arcade that just opened downtown.”

“Heck yeah! I’ve been dying to go there! They say it’s the biggest arcade in the city!”

“Would you girls mind if I tag along?” Zuma asked, “It sounds like a ton of fun.”

“Sure! From what Skye has told me, you’ve got quite the competitive streak. I don’t mean to brag. But I do hold the high score in every game at the old arcade restaurant by the park.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Maybe…”

So, Liberty brought Skye and Zuma to the brand-new Adventure City Mega Arcade, and boy was it mega. A two story building decked out in enough neon lights to been seen from space, with a food-court, laser-tag arena, and according to the advertisements ‘Over five hundred games for countless hours of fun!’ Zuma had half a mind to try and count all the games in the arcade to see if that statement was actually true.

Skye was immediately drawn to the Pup Pup Boogie machine: Pup Pup Boogielution, while Liberty and Zuma made a beeline for every competitive game they could find.

“I’m gonna crush you AND these Wack-a-Moles, Zuma!”

“Oh, racing games are my JAM! Prepare to eat my dust, Liberty!

“That No.1 highscore slot is mine!”

“I’ll wipe out these aliens before you even get the chance to reload!”

“How you like them apples, water pup?”

“Get owned, wiener dog!”

The two pups were racking up tickets so fast they could probably sell out the prize shop if they wanted to, but the amount of tickets they were winning was the last thing on either of their minds.

However, a beep from their pup-tags stopped both the pups in their tracks.

“Paw Patrol, to the Pup Tower!” Ryder’s voice called from their communicators, so Liberty, Zuma, and Skye raced out of the arcade and met up with the other pups in the Tower’s elevator, where Marshall crashed into the others with his usual clumsy flair.

“Talk about a metro-fall-a-ton!”

The pups laughed as they rode the elevator to the observatory, where Ryder was waiting.

“Alright, pups, we’ve got a big mission on our hands. The waterway connecting Adventure City’s river to the ocean has been blocked, causing the river to flood. We need to clear the waterway before it causes any more flooding. Zuma, I’ll need you and your submarine to clear whatever may be blocking the water flow, we’ll also need your rescue raft to help anyone who’s been swept away in the river.”

“Let’s dive in!”

“Marshall, you’ll be in Zuma’s rescue raft to search for anyone caught up in the floodwaters and administer first-aid if necessary.”

“I’m ready for a ruff-ruff rescue!”

“And Chase, I need you to secure the perimeter of the flood zone and handle crowd control.”

“Chase in on the case!”

“Everyone else, stand by in case we need more help. Paw Patrol is on a roll!”

The three pups followed Ryder to the deployment room, howling with delight as they were launched down the ramp and onto the streets. Zuma would never admit it out loud, but a part of him was always really happy whenever they got a mission in Adventure City, he loved the excitement and thrill of getting launched at roughly 50 miles an hour. It was moments like that that made him love his job all the more.

It wasn’t long before they got to the flooded river. The water had already risen past the banks of the canal, spilling water onto the nearby streets, so Chase immediately got to work closing off the roads and redirecting traffic.

Zuma drove his hovercraft off the edge of the river, separating it into his submarine and rescue raft as he dove into the water with Marshall right behind him to man the raft.

As Marshall scanned the water for civilians, Zuma headed downstream to locate the blockade. If Zuma remembered correctly, the river was connected to the ocean via the sewer system, which was probably where the blockage was. Fortunately, the river entrance to the sewer was pretty big, so Zuma had no trouble getting inside.

The sewers were completely flooded, and the first thing Zuma noticed as he entered was the large amount of garbage and debris floating around. There had been a lot of rain in the city recently, so it was likely the garbage was washed into the sewers from the storm drains. He’ll have to talk with Rocky later about improving the city’s waste management, maybe a system to catch the garbage as it fell into the storm drains, but that was a problem they could tackle later, right now he needed to focus on the task at hand.

Zuma’s eyes widened as he turned a corner, slamming on the breaks to avoid hitting the literal wall of trash in front of him.

“So this is what’s blocking the water. Yeesh, this city sure makes a lot of trash. I’m gonna need some back-up.” Zuma reached for his pup-tag, “Ryder, I’ve found what’s blocking the waterway. A bunch of trash got clumped together and got stuck inside the sewer. I’m gonna need some type of net or something to collect all the trash in.”

“Great work, Zuma. I’ll have Chase meet you at the sewer entrance with one of his nets, do you think that’ll work?”

“That should do the trick.”

After meeting up with Chase and getting the net he needed, Zuma dove back into the sewer and used his submarine’s claw arms to start collecting the trash. It was a long and tedious process due to the sheer amount of garbage, but after awhile of chipping away at the trash wall, he managed to break through to the other side, creating a swift current that pulled him along through the sewers.

“Woah! Ryder, I’ve cleared the garbage. The water is rushing pretty fast, so make sure everyone is out of the river.”

“Got it. You okay, Zuma?”

“Yeah, I’m good, just going for a little joyride in the rapids. I’ll meet you on the other side.”

It was a pretty rough ride as he was carried through the sewers, but Zuma had plenty of experience with rough waters and was able to keep his sub under control until he was spat out into the ocean, along with the rest of the trash.

“Whew, talk about a wild ride.”

Zuma made his way to the Adventure City beach, where Ryder and Rocky were waiting for him.

“Great job, Zuma,” Ryder applauded, “Rocky can take your sub to clean up the rest of the trash while you get your rescue raft from Marshall.”

“Thanks Ryder, though, are you sure Rocky knows how to drive my sub?”

Rocky just shrugged, “Eh, how hard can it be?”

Zuma went silent.

“… Rocky, so help me, if you crash my sub, you’re gonna be washing my pup-pack for a month. And believe me, that thing is a pain in the tail to clean.”

[justherforfics]

Jessie's girl (chap.2)

(A/N) hey, I just wanted to let you guys know that there will only be one more chapter of you and JJ being kids, in case you were worried about how long the childhood stuff would go on for. I was originally going to put all of what is now chapter 3 into this, but i wanted to spend more time explaining you family situation the best i could. i hope that's all okay .

Chapter 1 here

https://www.tumblr.com/justherforfics/745609500450553856/jessies-girl-hopefully-a-series?source=share

trigger warnings: mentions of parents fighting and bad writing

Chapter 2: august

Turning 10 was a big milestone, not only did you start your period but now you could officially go bra shopping. It wasn't much but it made you feel like a “lady” or whatever that meant. It was also the year you started to notice things, things like how boys were both nicer and meaner to you. Or how much cramps sucked or just how pretty JJ was. Yeah, you kinda liked JJ but it wasn't a big deal or anything at least that's what you told John B when he basically cornered you asking why you were suddenly acting weird when you guys went swimming.

“Oh..my…you like…no,NO! “ He laughed 

“Stop! Not so loud!” You whisper screamed, smacking his arms and chest repeatedly.

“Wait no this I great, because he use to-”

“What you guys talking about?” JJ interrupted with a smile holding a little surf board that he found earlier that day.

“Oh nothing just girl stuff “ JB turned to look at you again wiggling his brows.

JJ looked sceptical between the two of you, “Ok…then, well i'm gonna surf now if you guys wanna come” JJ Began walking backwards towards the shore.

“ Hey J, you don't even know how to surf” 

“Yeah and?

“That hella stupid man,” John B laughed,”You gunna die”

“Stupid stuff has good outcomes all the time” JJ ran into the water after flashing his stupid smile.

“You like that?” John B turned back to you, raising eyebrow, pointing his thumb back at the blonde boy flailing around in the water

“Yeah…I think so”, You both laughed a little before turning to join JJ in the water. John B had tried to help JJ but neither of them knew what they were doing, so it ended up with slight bickering between them. Few other kids had come over to the beach, so JJ had at some point went to talk to a few of the kids from your school. While JJ was gone, John B had swam up closer to you, till you were only about 6 inches apart,

“Sooooo, “ he started, the smile he was trying to hold back creeping up, “when are you going to tell him?”

“Tell who what?”

“JJ, …and how you like hi-”

You slapped your hand around his mouth, “John B i swear, if you utter a single word to him”

“I wouldn’t…sooo?”

You sighed looking back where JJ stood amongst a group of kids showing off the almost ‘boogie board’,

”i was kinda hoping tonight”

“WAIT..REALLY?!” John B Straightened up, eyes as wide as his grin, “are you guys like gunna get married?”

“Not now, i don't know “

“If you do can i be like the ring guy”

“Wouldn't you be the best man?”

“Oh..yeah .. forget the ring thing that's better”

After trying to help JJ not drown while attempting to surf again, and swimming about, the three of you ended up walking to your house. It wasn't far from John B's so he would just walk you home most of the time instead of bugging any of the parents. 

“Hey can I tell you guys something?” JJ started. Both you and John B turned your heads to his direction,” I asked maddie out”

Both you and John B stopped, him looking at you, and you at jj.

“Maddie as in a girl?”

“Yeah JB I'm pretty sure she's a girl”

Your eyes almost began to water, how could you have been so stupid! Of course he liked maddie, she was smart and pretty and fun. Nothing like you.

You blinked quickly before smiling, “that’s great JJ!” although it wasn't all that great for you, he was your best friend, and you had to put that friendship first.

“Yeah, ya think!” JJ smiled back nodding his head happily. Your eyes meet with John B’s nodding slightly to let him know that he should talk.

“Yeah J, that's good”

The rest of the walk was fairly silent, beside the light conversation that would occur between the boys. When they reached your driveway, you said your goodbyes. Walking to the porch yourself before John B ran up beside you just before the door.

“You okay?” he asked, concern laced in his eyes

“Yeah” you sighed

“Are you sure, cus i can beat him up for you?”

“Yeah I'm sure,” you chucked, grateful that he was willing to fight him for you, "It's not like we were together or anything” 

John B nodded before hugging you goodbye and joining JJ on the walk back. And in that moment as cringing as it may be, wanting was enough. You could live life knowing that he wouldn’t be yours. Just maybe, one day, you’ll get one of those cheesy makeovers and find out he was really in love with you too. (Even at a young age, you knew delulu was the selulu)

Once entering the house you were met with your father crying, hunched in a kitchen table chair, hands in his hair, and your mother glaring down at him with misty eyes. When the door closed behind you, your father’s head snapped to face you, eyes wide. 

“Sweetpea, what are you doing home so early” his voice raspy holding the sweetest tone he could muster

“I’m not early,” you muttered eyes wiping back in forth between your parents,”it’s 8”

“Oh look at that,” he chuckled, “my how time flies”

“Owen” your mother seethed through her teeth, “she wasn't hanging out with those boys again, was she?”

“Sweet pea, who about you head up stairs, wash off and get ready for bed” your dad continued ignoring his wife,”I'll be right up to tuck you in, okay sweetheart?”

You nodded, rushing up the stairs immediately. This quiet wouldn't last for long, so it is better to head to sleep before it gets too loud. 

-----------------

hopefully ya'll like it, i should have chapter 3 coming out soon

<<<<TAGS>>>>

@yuh-potatoe-whore