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takaraphoenix · 4 months ago

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Camping & Bonding (Part 4)

Tags: m/m, Erica Lives, Boyd Lives, Jackson Doesn't Leave, Pack Mom Stiles, Pack Feels, True Mates, fluff, hurt/comfort, camping, mutual pining, m/f

Main Pairing: Derek/Stiles

Side Pairings: Scott/Allison, Boyd/Erica, Jackson/Lydia

Teen Wolf Characters: Mieczysław 'Stiles' Stilinski, Derek Hale, Erica Reyes, Vernon Boyd III, Isaac Lahey, Jackson Whittemore, Lydia Martin, Cora Hale, Scott McCall, Allison Argent

@writersmonth Prompts Part 4: season + school

Summary: Stiles thinks the pack should go camping, as a bonding exercise. Much to his surprise, Derek agrees with his plan. So the pack goes off into the mountains to camp together.

This Fic on AO3 | This Fic on FFNet

Stiles Summer Stories 2024

Part 4: The Confession

They brought enough eggs to make twenty omelets. While the wolves went on their morning run to also hunt a little meat on the side of those eggs, Stiles went to forage for mushrooms and herbs with Lydia and Allison. A little walk of their own. It was nice. Chilly, but beautiful. The orange and red and yellow leafs. And every now and again, they saw the pack running by in the distance.

When the three of them returned to their camp side, they started prepping everything for breakfast before the wolves returned from their hunt. Once again, Derek dropped a dead animal in front of Stiles, which was going to keep freaking Stiles out. Just because he knew how to take them apart didn't exactly mean he enjoyed the sight of dead animals, especially not when they were unceremoniously dropped metaphorically in his lap.

"Good hunt," Stiles offered when the Alpha kept staring at him. "Now go wash up. Seriously."

And since when did Derek need this much affirmation? Still, it was kind of cute to see that preening Derek did at the praise before once again rounding up the pups to herd them to the creek for a quick wash. Shaking his head, Stiles waved Allison over to help him take apart the catch of the day.

"We could save some cuts for lunch, we brought enough bread to make sandwiches," Stiles suggested. "I was thinking we could go on a hike, so take them with us. Yes, we. All of us. Stop groaning, Lydia. It will not kill you, I promise you that."

Not that Stiles himself was the biggest fan of hiking. But he knew the pups needed the exercise and he knew this would be a great way of bonding. Plus, he'd heard the view was breathtaking.

"You do know what Derek is doing though, right?" Lydia asked, while stirring the omelet.

Stiles looked confused at her. "Uhm, currently? Taking a bath, I guess?"

"No, Stiles," Lydia heaved an exasperated sigh. "You look so confused every time Derek drops the hunt in front of you. I thought it was weird yesterday."

"Yeah, it really was weird, right?!" Stiles threw up his hands. "Thank you, Ly-"

"No, your reaction was weird," Lydia furrowed her brows. "Like you didn't know what he was doing. And now again. You don't know what he's doing, do you?"

Stiles paused, looking at her. "What… What do you mean? What is he doing?"

"How do you not know that, I thought you researched werewolves to the smallest detail."

"Don't sound so accusatory," Stiles glared. "How am I supposed to know everything. There might be things even I missed. Or didn't deem important at the time due to the massive volume of research to be done. Also school. Like. There are more things than the supernatural that I have to do too, studying and helping Scott study, and take care of my dad, and the household, and the pack-"

"He's courting you, Stiles," Lydia blurted out to interrupt him. "He's bringing you the game he caught himself, and don't think the wolves haven't noticed how much you two smelt like each other this morning. Jackson froze up and told me. You two weren't just sharing a tent."

"We shared some body-heat," Stiles defended with a blush. "But that's not-"

"Stiles," Allison offered him a small, nearly pitiful smile. "You're the only one who can sway Derek. Don't get me wrong, he listens to everyone's opinion, he learned to do that. But… but you are the one who can convince Derek of any of our ideas and who always has his ear and trust. You're his second, Stiles."

At that, Stiles huffed out a laugh. "No, I'm not. Peter is Derek's left hand."

"Not his left hand," Lydia heaved an exasperated sigh. "His second. His second half. The co-leader of this pack. The only one to outrank the left hand. How do you not see it."

Stiles froze and stared at the girls a little dumbly. He wasn't Derek's mate. He would know if he was Derek's mate. They'd known each other for well over a year now and they had been… close, for months. And Stiles was the one who figured these things out! Erica and Boyd. Jackson and Lydia. Allison and Scott. Heck, Allison and Scott were how Stiles had figured out that mates were a real thing, he had put that together. He would know if he was someone's mate.

/break\

Something had happened while the wolves bathed. When they returned, Stiles was… jittery. Even by Stiles standards. Derek frowned as he watched his mate cautiously.

"Training," Derek growled after breakfast. "Pair up. Erica and Jackson. Cora and Isaac. Boyd and Scott. Don't groan at me. You have predictable patterns that your usual go-to sparring partners know. Switch it up. Now go."

"Sourwolf," Stiles huffed annoyed as soon as the betas got up. "Don't growl at the pups."

He had his arms crossed and he was glaring at Derek, making the Alpha falter a little. Damn it, he needed to have better control. But when Stiles was upset – and especially when Stiles seemed upset with him – it still messed with Derek. Perhaps because Stiles was his anchor, Stiles calmed him, so when Stiles was upset, his anchor was the reason for Derek's own upset feelings.

"You flinched away when I touched you earlier."

How much Derek hated admitting these things. He crossed his own arms, trying to brace himself, glaring at a point behind Stiles – where the betas were training with each other and decidedly pretending they couldn't hear Stiles and Derek's conversation. Allison and Lydia were pretending to be busy with the clean-up. Stiles stared at him in bafflement.

"I didn't…" Stiles trailed off and then sighed. "I didn't mean to. I was just really in my head and you startled me. But, Der, c'mon. Even if I flinched, that should not make you lash out at the pups! They didn't do anything."

"They didn't," Derek agreed, with a heavy sigh. "I'm… sorry. I just… It messes with me when you… When something is wrong with you."

"Why," Stiles frowned at him.

Derek remained stubbornly silent. He couldn't tell Stiles. He shouldn't tell Stiles.

"Why," Stiles asked again, more pointed, his eyes narrowed. "I need you to tell me, Derek."

"Why do you need to know," Derek growled. "It doesn't matter."

"It does!" Stiles threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. "If it affects our pack, then I need to know, so I can figure out what to do to avoid it!"

"I don't like when you're upset, or hurt, or – or when anything is wrong with you."

Stiles stared at him like the air got knocked out of him. "They're right."

Derek tensed at that, hunching over a little like he was bracing himself. "Who was right."

"The…" Stiles motioned over to Lydia and Allison. "The girls! They said that I'm your mate. That's what kept me so distracted during breakfast. Because surely that can't be, right. 'Surely, Derek would have told me at literally any point during the past months that we've been friends, that I've been in his pack. There's no way he would have kept something like that from me. Even if he doesn't want me, he knows how important the trust between us is to me, he would have told me the truth,' while I replayed pretty much every single interaction between us since I joined the pack, I kept thinking that. And I guess I'm fucking wrong, huh."

The more he talked, the more bitter and louder his voice grew. He turned away from Derek, a sneer on his face. The cold autumn breeze carried over a scent of misery and Derek's inner wolf whimpered because he knew they were the cause of it.

"I could have been okay with you not wanting me, Derek," Stiles turned to look at him with a devastating look on his face. "You know I can handle rejection. But this… this is about more than you and me. If I'm your mate, I'm the Alpha mate. That… That's really fucking important information regarding our entire pack and I should have known that. You should have told me."

Derek didn't know what to say, or how to say it, not that he got a chance to, because Stiles barreled on. "I deserved to know. You know how weird the past months were for me? I kept cuddling up with my classmates, I fucking nuzzled Jackson at school the other week. I genuinely started to think I was losing it but no. No, I'm the Alpha mate, of course have I been more in tune with the betas. Which also, explains why I keep thinking about them as the betas! Part of me has gotten really fucking worried that I kept mentally excluding myself from them, like, what, was I not seeing myself as pack, what was my problem? But no. No, my problem was that I'm not a beta. I just didn't know it. Because nobody fucking told me."

Stiles was radiating frustration and anger and hurt and all Derek could do was watch and listen quietly, knowing his mate needed to vent. He always talked a lot, especially when he was being emotional. Maybe it'd help him to get it out of his system.

"I would have been fine, Derek," Stiles whispered, and the whispering scared Derek much more than the yelling. "I was in love with Lydia for years and I was fine when she rejected me and got back together with Jackson and we're friends now. I would have been fine if you just told me that you don't love me. We could have led this pack together. As friends. Even if you don't want me."

Suddenly, it felt much colder than it had any right to, and it had nothing to do with the season. The blood in Derek's veins froze as Stiles' words – all of his words – finally fully sank in and context was webbed between them. Stiles was angry because Derek hadn't told him. Stiles… expected rejection. Because of Derek's actions, or rather his inaction, Stiles thought he wasn't wanted.

"Can I… talk now?" Derek asked softly. "Can I explain why I didn't tell you?"

With a sarcastic smile, Stiles made a gesture that indicated 'the floor is all yours'. Derek took a deep breath, trying to mentally prepare himself to talk about his feelings. The feelings he hadn't shared for good reason so far. But that had hurt Stiles, the last person he wanted to hurt, and now he had to fix this somehow, he had to make Stiles stop hurting.

"I want you, Stiles," Derek looked his mate directly in the eyes, wanting for Stiles to see how serious and sincere he was. "I want you more than I ever wanted anything, I want you so much that it scares me, because if I… if I had you, I could lose you again. I would lose you again."

Stiles stared at him in confusion. "That doesn't even make sense. If you don't have me, you can't lose me. Well, great, but you're also not having me, so what's the big difference."

"The difference," Derek growled and ground his teeth together hard. "The difference is that every good thing I ever dare hope to have dies or is otherwise forcibly taken from me, Stiles. P… Paige died. My family died. Laura died. Boyd and Erica were taken and tortured because they were part of my pack. Everyone I love gets hurt because of me. And the thought that someone hurts you, takes you away from me – from the pack, from your dad – all because of me? I can't… I would much rather not have you than lose you for good, Stiles."

In front of him, Stiles crumbled. The anger and hurt melted away to make room for the most heartbroken look Derek had ever seen. Stiles walked up to him, with careful and slow steps, as though he was approaching a cornered animal. Once he stood close enough, he reached both hands out for Derek's face, gently cupping it and leaning closer.

"You big, dumb idiot," Stiles heaved a sigh. "Look at me. Look at me. I'm the human who runs with wolves. I got hunted by a less than sane Alpha. I got tortured by an evil hunter. I regularly get attacked and nearly killed by whatever evil lurks in Beacon Hills. And I'm still standing. You are not getting rid of me that easily. You are not going to lose me that easily. I love you. You and me, we save each other. That's what we do, Derek, and that's what we'll continue doing."

He leaned in, more and more, until Derek could feel the ghost of Stiles' breath against his lips and for once, he didn't hold back. He wrapped his arms around his mate and pulled Stiles into a kiss filled with all the emotions he'd tried to reign in these past months. Stiles practically melted against him, warm and firm and there. Right there, in Derek's arms.

#Sterek #Fic: Camping & Bonding #Sterek Fic #Teen Wolf #Derek Hale #Hale Pack #Stiles Stilinski #Stiles Summer Stories 2024 #Phoe's Fics

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fragilecapric0rnn · 2 years ago

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I posted 4,202 times in 2022

That's 4,182 more posts than 2021!

125 posts created (3%)

4,077 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@gothbat99

@greenlikethesea

@gingerbreadmunson

@hotcocoaharrington

@gullbones

I tagged 2,123 of my posts in 2022

Only 49% of my posts had no tags

#stranger things - 323 posts

#steddie - 297 posts

#fanart - 130 posts

#steve harrington - 84 posts

#eddie munson - 65 posts

#fic - 62 posts

#sen writes - 54 posts

#writing - 45 posts

#steddie fic rec - 41 posts

#steddie fic - 40 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#obviously so i can send them a quick lil ‘ur story ruined me thank you’ message but to also rb their posts abt it/rec their fics on my blog

My Top Posts in 2022:

you can take your heart from your chest to use as a compass when you are lost

The Steddie Missed Connections AU || Chapters: 6/6 || Complete

Thanksgiving 2009.

Steve, who is about to host the brood of children (who somehow aren't children anymore) in a cabin for the long weekend, after a semi-bad week, all while batting off Dustin's attempts at playing matchmaker and dodging phone calls from his mother. And at some point some strange man on the internet broadcasts his worst public moment for the other Craigslist freaks to see.

What could go wrong? Or right?

Steve is finding his life to be very different than he thought it would be. He’s also finding that maybe that’s okay.

59 notes - Posted November 1, 2022

It’s Fanfic Writer Appreciation Day and there happen to be some writers that I appreciate and want to show my love to them for sharing their talents with us!

(Steddie Edition bc they are on the mind 24/7)

The Steddie brainrot has led me to reading a TON of fic. So, I am finally making a rec list of all of the fics that have not been able to leave my brain since they walked into my life.

As I was compiling this list I noticed a running theme and that is that these are all future fics and what can I say? I’m just a simple girl who’s a sucker for Steve/Eddie in the 90s/early 2000s. I think it has something to do with my love for romcoms from this era and thinking of them as older just makes me want to fall to the floor.

So here they are, in no particular order:

1. the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you by @greatunironic;

Sixteen years after the world didn't end for the last time, Max Mayfield showed up on Steve’s doorstep and said, “You gonna walk me down the aisle in May or what?”

Or, it’s 2002 and Steve Harrington attends a wedding, a funeral, and a birth. (Word Count: 34,990)

The way that this fic bore into my soul, I seriously can’t think about it for too long without getting emotional. This one feels like a given considering the fact that I am now getting TikToks my fyp of people out of context referring to this fic, which is how I stumbled upon a recommendation of it. If you haven’t read it yet, PLEASE DO. It’s a national treasure at this point.

2. Let us Dwell in Fair Ithilien and There Make a Garden series by @sparklyslug and @greenlikethesea (Word Count: 61,151) (Description from Three Weddings and a Funeral)

Steve Harrington falls in love and gets married. Not in that order. Some other stuff happens along the way too. But those are the two big things. That first one especially.

(Or: celebrations of life)

This series, much like aforementioned most remarkable thing, is set mostly in the future with the gang as adults, and Steve and Eddie dancing around their feelings for each other for nearly 15 years. That is a gross oversimplification in my opinion because it is honestly so much more than that! Like, it’s set in the future, but there is time jumping, and references to previous parts of the series, its just it’s own universe within the ST universe! Ugh, I got flustered trying to put coherent thoughts to how much I fucking love this series and the way that these two have crafted am entirely new canon for me to latch onto. Go read this. Like right now. I also suggest reading it in the writers’ suggested hard mode!

3. Keep It for Me by @stereobone;

It's 1993, and Steve is attending Lucas and Max's wedding. It's 1993, and no one has seen Eddie Munson in seven years. (Word Count: 9,741)

For one thing, the little NorCal girl in me was foaming at the mouth at the thought of a chunk of the party living in The Bay Area as adults. This one has the meeting again years later element, which is just so good! This also has writer!Eddie which made my heart burst, and the pining and reunification of it all. Again, I have a hard time putting words to how much this fic has nestled its way into my heart! Repeat: GO READ IT!!!

4. alone again, or by @pizzaqueen;

It’s 1991 and Steve is still in Hawkins, still living with his mother, still single, and still working at Family Video. At least he’s the manager now, for whatever that’s worth. But he’s stuck here while Robin and Dustin and everyone else have moved away. Moved on.

Well, everyone except for Eddie.

They're best friends, spend most of their time together, and it's nice to have a friend like that. But Steve is still looking for love with a capital "L". At least, he thinks he is. (Word Count: 20,765)

This one is definitely different than the ones I talked about above. But, this one is still fucking fantastic! More of a coming-of-age vibe in a we’re twenty somethings and life looks a lot different than we thought it would and I think thats okay kind of way. Which spoke to me in a way that I also kind of need right now as a twenty something who feels just like that :’) Also love the character of Steve’s mom, which is something we don’t see a lot of, Steve having a supportive parent, and it is very sweetly written. This fic felt like a popsicle on a warm day. READ! IT!

Again, happy Fanfic Writer Appreciation Day! Let’s keep showing our favorite writers love every day of the year!

107 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

Steddie Fic Rec #2

Like most, the Steddie brainrot is still very much active. I’ve also discovered that I love making rec lists, so here is another! There’s not much cohesion to these ones other than the fact that I just really enjoyed them, so you should enjoy them too!

In order by word count:

Up the Punks by @sparklyslug

Steve has good intentions, but does not realize that punks and metalheads are natural enemies

Explicit. Completed. (Word Count: 5,505)

Oh, sparklyslug, how you’ve managed to steal my heart with your Steve and Eddie in only five thousand-ish words. As if I could expect anything less from ½ of the brains behind the Fair Ithilien series, it makes perfect sense for their solo work to be fantastic!

This fic is perfect if you’re looking for something short, sweet, and hilarious. Like the dialogue and characterization is just so *chefs kiss* I could basically see the interactions very clearly in my head and it’s just too good too perfect.

the boys of summer by steveharringtoned

(Steve knows Eddie’s alive. Wayne’s the only one who believes him. So they team up to save him.)

Not Rated. Completed. (Word Count: 19,926)

A very creative fix-it fic and like a very interesting and creative way in which Eddie is saved. I am honestly such a sucker for Uncle Wayne being included in the plot of fics, especially in the context of him being like ok sure there’s another dimension being hidden by the government, so how the hell do we save my boy. And Steve. He is just so stupidly brave and the characterization of him and his grief in this fic is just so good and different than what we typically see in fics from his POV. The dude is hurting and sometimes being hurt can be ugly and the way the writer shows that is just sooooo gooooood.

all the missing girls are hanging out without us by @greatunironic

“Here is a riddle: the answer is one.” Eddie Munson lives, and dies, and lives again.

Mature. Completed. (Word Count: 20,761)

Another instance in which greatunironic does THAT. I have seen people call this a kind of feminist take on the ways in which the D*ffer Bros treat their women characters as plot devices and dispose of them at ease for the sake of the plot, and I couldn’t agree more. I don’t want to give too much away in this, but I will say this: Eddie’s characterization in this is SO GOOD. He spends the first chunk convincing himself that he’s tripping balls and if that isn’t an Eddie mood than idk what is.

Quick note: the Steddie in this fic is more implied and is not the central focus of this fic.

Not Exactly Napa Valley by @twiceasfar

The fake relationship AU that literally no one asked for. Featuring Steve and Robin as platonic soulmates, a destination wedding to a winery, and a thrilling quest to piss off Steve’s parents.

Robin lets out an exasperated sigh. “Eddie would be the perfect date for the wedding!”

Steve freezes.

“Whose wedding?” Eddie asks.

Mature. Completed. (Word Count: 28,900)

This fic reminded my how much I love the fake dating trope. I always find it interesting to see everybody’s different takes on what Steve’s parents are like, and how we just all agree that they’re awful. Despite that, this fic was very fluffy and had me blushing and giggling like a child. The buildup was so good and the pace was perfect and I honestly love this fic so much.

The Spaces In Between by @indibdraws

Steve Harrington, ex-lifeguard and babysitter extraordinaire, happens to be blessed with knowledge of first aid. Eddie is the recipient of this aid, and as he recovers he must learn to live with the fact that he owes his life to a prom-king with a 12 step haircare routine. This would be easier if he didn’t find said prom king so uncomfortably attractive.

And if the world would stop ending for five minutes.

Geez.

Explicit. Not Complete. (Word Count: 80,210)

Typically, I try not to read fics that are unfinished, but this one ended up on my dashboard 5 times in the span of an hour and my impulse control is bad and THANK GOD IT IS BECAUSE HOLY HELL. THIS FIC. This writer should be in the writer’s room for s5 and it is honestly a crime that they aren’t. Like yes, this is a Steve/Eddie fic, but it is also SO much more. The use of canon to create an ending that was satisfying to the store and gave the characters their justice. I cannot explain how much this fic has ended up imbedding its way into my heart and soul. As soon as it's completed, I'm going to reread it again and again and even when s5 premieres I am probably going to prefer this over canon until the day that I die.

See the full post

150 notes - Posted September 3, 2022

How it feels when I see new photos of Joe Keery

332 notes - Posted December 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

LISTEN. I was ready to ride the Steve Becomes A Teacher train all the way home. It’s in my fics, it’s in my planned fics. But but but LISTEN.

Steve becoming a first responder?

A little bit post-S4, Steve is driving home to Hawkins after moving to Indy/Chicago/a major city that’s still within reasonable driving distance for him to come see the kids. Eddie is in the passenger seat and they’re zooming down the highway, one of those picture perfect moments where they’re singing along to a Madonna song, that Eddie was complaining about just moments ago.

Steve, always striving to be the safest driver on the road, mostly because he is almost always transporting precious cargo in the form of his loved ones, isn’t the one who sees it at first. It isn’t until Eddie loudly gasps and points out a pretty horrific car accident unfolding before their eyes in the next lane over.

Steve pulls off to the side, a fair distance behind wreck. One of the cars is turned completely around in the other direction, the front smashed in. The other cars are also damaged, but the passengers are getting out. No one has gotten out of the turned around car.

Without a word, without questions from either of them, the two get out of the Beamer. Eddie goes up to the other cars, a woman who’s crying her eyes out and a young family all looking spooked out of their minds, but all seemingly alright. All of this is happening in Steve’s peripheral because he is now sprinting toward the car that no one has gotten out of. He sees the shape of the driver, head laid back on the headrest, unconscious.

“Don’t move her!” “We need to wait for help!” Bystanders yell at him. Steve doesn’t respond, the driver door now open, as he checks the girl, who looks so young that mental images of one of his kids being in her place flash across his brain, tug at his heart.

“Eddie!” He yells past the lump in his throat, but it looks like his boyfriend was already reading his mind, as he runs over with the first aid kit that’s always stationed in the trunk of his car.

He finds her pulse as Eddie settles beside him. He’s checking for broken bones as the girl comes to. He’s telling her to sit back and that everything is okay as Eddie is yelling at the crowd forming around them to back up, he knows what he’s doing.

Steve gets the flashlight out of the kit, shining it in her eyes, asking her what her name is, what day it is, who the president is, she hesitates to answer but answers all the questions.

Eddie isn’t sure if this first aid knowledge is from all the times Steve’s been assessed after all the Upside Down shit or if it’s because of his own research, though he realizes as watches Steve keep the girl calm and gently keep her from moving around at all, it’s both.

Eddie continues to watch when the ambulance gets to the scene. He watches Steve tell the EMTs that the girl is concussed and has no other visible injuries. He watches as they assess her themselves and as they ask Steve if he’s off duty, motioning to his extensive first aid kit. Steve just says he’s had his fair share of emergencies and he knows what he’s doing.

After the ambulance leaves, Steve and Eddie walking back to their car, even though traffic is backed up all the way to their apartment it seems, Eddie can’t stop thinking about how easily Steve fit into the “hero” role. How, sure, it’s residual Savior Of The World shit, but can’t it also be more now that the world is saved?

When they’re back on the road, hours later, and close to home, Eddie asks,

“Have you ever thought about becoming a paramedic?”

Steve doesn’t say anything. But he’s thinking. No, he hasn’t thought about it. But maybe he should start thinking about it.

738 notes - Posted October 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#pretty good for someone who started posting regularly again in June #nothing surprising to see here akdjk #all ive done is read fic post abt the fic i like and write some of my own #also my fic recs!!! love that my favs are in my top 5 posts <3

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7m7n7 · 5 months ago

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First off - yup, it seems i posted the wrong link, but hey, i can post the pic now. this person also was trying to implicate levihan and rivetra fandoms, saying they're not an eruri and following a lot of people who had beef w eruris. they do this a lot. ive seen them try to implicate levihans and rivaereris here and on twitter before as well, even tho anyone who knows them could tell. that's the issue, most people here don't know them enough and they're mad bc i tell people about it, particularly when it's a manipulation attempt where they try to disguise themselves.

and two more things about the so called "context" you added - which is funny bc looks like you picked a rather empty rb out of so many - ...if you think people in self-ship fandom are more maladjusted than shippers, you're either 1) lying shamelessly 2) have NO FUCKING CLUE what you're talking about. as someone who indulges in both (and usually just ship mlm btw, since it matters to you freaks SO MUCH), self-shipping fandoms cannot even be compared with ship fandoms. now, not every mlm fandoms are nearly as bad, obv. but even a surface level observation could tell you that shippers tend to be more obsessed, more competitive, more inclined to completely derp canon and engage in extreme OOC. second, why are you talking like tumblr is the end to the known universe? Most of the shit occurs on twt bc everything is searchable yet there are no functioning tags and dumb popular opinions get boosted and shoved in your face bc of the algorithm. you have barely any shippers (eruri or otherwise) even actively posting here, ofc you can fucking *avoid* it 🙄 try being on twitter and have them qrt every fucking levi related content with their disgusting degrading shit.

also its funny how you're so oblivious you can't even think to hide that you're obv engaging in this drama bc you wanna feel like a "legitimate blog" you attention starved mf 🤡

anyway, back to the main topic.

a lot of personality traits are social/performative, like being "polite", stoicism is also similar, but that doesn't make them coping mechanisms. coping mechanism IS a maladjustment bc its a response to trauma. it means that that person wouldn't have that trait without trauma. that's what i mean when i say cosmic called his stoicism "fake" 🙂 and a fucking braindead loser eruri anon already proved my point lmfao

this little insecure roach too threatened by levi's personality wants pretend he'd be like fucking MARCO of all people 🙂 and the same disgusting rhetoric, "oh heartless masculine alpha man" Hey, loser eruri cunt who was stalking me on twitter, im waiting for you to point out where does being masculine or alpha correlate with being heartless you fucking worthless trash 🙂

Aaaaanyways ^_^ those are @ anon by the way since you mfs have such a hard time differentiating who i am even talking about, though naturally applies to people who agree with what that roach is saying too 🙂

if you struggle to understand that, then you must be walking into street signs irl. I personally STRUGGLE TO UNDERSTAND UWU how can you even pretend that making a very defining part of his personality entirely about past trauma isn't woobiefication.

then you should also be able to understand my irritation to anything that resembles woobiefication towards levi. i disagree that i was hostile to begin with, but also with how you frame your own side, you're refusing to see it in context, even if CJ meant it in the suuuper niche way (which i disagree, bc they contradict themselves constantly) it's still an argument that helps people who resent levi. And CJ immediately got a fucking anon saying Levi would be like fucking MARCO LMAO. That alone should tell you anything you need to know. They wanna pretend he'd be like one of the most irrelevant, boring, unattractive characters in snk :))) So yes, whether in good or bad motives, CJ's arguments are still serving the same disgusting rhetoric average eruri stan uses.

also lol, youre saying you get hate thats why you're all soooo sensitive uwu, while being completely blind to the hate self-shippers get (or other shippers, but former one is here, happening IN FRONT OF YOU while the second one is mostly on twt). somehow only YOUR hcs are worthy of protection and you are the only ones who has a right to get mad at others :-( hmmm

"you perceive" and who fucking died to make you the authority on how *I* perceive anyone? you're COMPLETELY fucking off the target. If i had put CJ in the same category, i wouldn't have approached them this nicely :) theyre the one who accused me of sending them hate and blabbered endlessly after one comment, the one prejudiced against me bc i hate that ship is them. i already said that i don't have any problem with anyone *including shippers* who criticize the fanon or how fans behave in general - the problem is that it's insanely rare, and shippers themselves bully their own when it occurs. shouldn't your bestie cosmic know that better than anyone else? 🙄

your argument for "needlessly combative" be like

"i find it telling" girl, you fucking think im gonna answer every nonsense you mfs blabbered about? you losers went on for DAYS. you wrote a fucking NOVEL in which not one word worths a damn. and no, that panel @jayteacups posted isn't "telling" anything. everyone is shaped by 1) genetic makeup 2) their environment. it doesn't make those things "coping mechanisms". i don't see you guys blabbering about how being good isn't in his "true nature" bc he wouldn't be such good man if his mommy wasn't so loving and caring☹️ oh no instead you'll talk about how empathy is his "sole defining trait" (hilarious)

i used hypermasculine not in a clinical sense, lol. and im not a native english speaker. i meant that he's EXTREMELY masculine. it should be obvious to anyone who isn't just trying to derail from how i spoke about him before. and also LMAO i don't find "treating women badly uwu" and being a douchebag as masculine traits 😹 and he isn't characterized like that in self-shipping fandom, that purposeful mischaracterization of top levi fanon comes from haters (again, ERURIS), and the fact you adopt that same narrative says enough about where your loyalty lies. if you put OUR side with that side who constantly shits on levi on the same level, then you're part of the problem.

first off, i heaaavily disagree w the implication here that being "hyperaggressive" in bed or having a degradation kink (?) is "hypermasculinizing". those are separate things. a woman can be hyperfeminine and sexually aggressive, or be a sadist. it doesn't make them masculine. Aaaaanyways. "hyperaggressive sex dom who degrades women" like where, in bed? it's called kink and it's not how majority writes him anyway, he's usually a soft dom or vanilla, and there's nothing wrong w any of that. unless you bring to me where everyone's writing him like a misogynist who thinks women are lesser and argue it's canon, then you're full of shit. meanwhile eruri cunts characterize him like an ugly little doormat loser subservient to their self insert everywhere so that erwin comes off looking like The Superior Man and push it like its canon, it's not even a sex thing alone (actually the sex position is only there to serve this narrative too bc, again, they think bottoming is degrading) and anyone with half a brain can tell that.

also lmfao, i said it MULTIPLE TIMES that i see levi as a kind, heroic man FROM THE START. cosmic*joke* and now you are the ones who choose to ignore it.

Uhmmm, no. it has everything to do with eruris, bc that's the entire reason we're having any of this conv, CJ blamed me of things i didn't do, and part of it is bc eruri stans tried to push the hate /they/ sent on me before, even in contexts where the source was proved to be known eruri blogs by CJ. And theyve been trying to paint my /REACTION/ to their toxicity as not a reaction, but an instigator while they try to paint themselves as a "mostly peaceful" group when they're pretty much the source of all trouble in this fandom, and im the bad guy bc i out them. Like, what do you expect me to post about to prove my point LMFAO

two anons i saw they sent to CJ after CJ made that callout for eruris. i love the way the first eruri instinct is just to lie shamelessly in all contexts hoping some of it sticks 🩷 almost a talent!

also...derailment? if you mean that im bringing the topic to eruris like when CJ said before, then it's bc a lot of the times ppl don't know the source of a particular problem like i do, bc you guys barely engage directly w them here unlike us on twt. a lot of criticism of levi fanon for an instance people have that may seem unrelated to shipping at first come directly from them. Just a seemingly unrelated example is "levi is selfish" argument or when people say "oh you make levi a bland hero". Personally, if these takes were not related to shipping, i wouldn't care (unlike CJ, who'd froth from mouth at the idea of a morally impure levi lol) but I can %100 guarantee you whenever someone says it it's bc they have #That narrative for midnight sun. perfect fanon may not exist for anyone, but there's no other fandom that assassinates levi's character like they do.

that's bc it's used in a degrading fashion you absolute dumbfuck. that's why i say "degrading and emasculating" instead all the time and almost never "feminizing". you can actually feminize in a glorifying way but that's NOT why or how they do it. (also, don't go pretend making levi "toxically masculine" and "feminine" are similar levels of OOC either lmaooooo be serious. but anyway lets not derail.) shit like this should have made it fucking clear but i guess you need to be shoved into your face once more lmfao

all of this is just emasculation and degradation, so called femininity is just another tool. not only they do it but also they harass and mock people who like top levi and just mind their own business. the last one is about a dick size poll by the way, all eruris FOR SOME REASON UWU ganged up together to vote for that NPC so levi would lose lmfao 🥴 they're actually quite obsessed with the topic actually, wonder why!

"all you can do to stigmatize someone is claiming theyre eruri" Lol, like you stigmatize me and blame me of the source of every fucking bad thing that happens just bc i openly bash on a bunch of disgusting eruri stans? first of all, if an eruri is active in that fandom and isn't bothered about fanon at all, then yeah, they SHOULD be stigmatized. they can always come forth and criticize the harassment, fetishism, character hate, obvious ego wank their fandom participates in and prove themselves to be better. simple as that :)

you're pretty bold for someone who doesn't know such a fucking well-known steretoype. How the hell have you not heard "tall, dark and handsome" and "gentlemen prefer blondes"?

..just searched some things for you since you're so foreign to popular culture 🥴 searched the opposite too just to make sure lmaoooo and try not to be so fucking chronically online i guess!

I didn't say "cosmic" left invisible comments, i meant eruris orbiting that mf did. don't worry, i don't think mr high-and-mighty cosmic"joke" would ever engage in such suspicious behaviour LOL 😩

BUT this is the funniest fucking ""defense i ever saw LMAOOOOOO

lmao @cosmicjoke just curious...do you actually even believe what you wrote? or are you just that pathetically lacking in self-awareness? it literally takes an EFFORT to even scroll through how much you blabbered about me FOR DAYS, HOLY SHIT LMFAO. anyway, scroll away in this one i guess, since it includes some receipts from poor blameless wittle ewuwi fandom you're claiming is "mostly good" and just must be "defensive" to awful people such as myself :-(

Yeah, i said you woobiefied him (which is a degradation of character no matter how much you froth from mouth 🙂) and YOU wrote me 3 different wholeass paragraphs and in one of them accused me of sending you hate. And you still do, despite the fact i had literally no reason to do so. wanna suck up to eruri fandom that bad, huh? you're so fucking stupid and SO obsessed with retaining that moral highground you SO CLEARLY jack off to, you're even letting eruris who hate you using you to get back at me. who do you think those anons and sock accs you're chatting w are? "this dumb bitch comes at me with insults and accusations" what a hilarious sentence! can you write one sentence without projecting so intensely that you need to be in a mental ward?

"self shippers are so jealous uwu" OHHHHHH MY GOD LMAO. the fucking eruri rhetoric of GRAND PROJECTION. NO fucking self-shippers gives a fuck to eruri you absolute dumbass 😭 entire discourse happens bc eruris harass them (and other levi shippers) bc of THEIR OWN JEALOUSY holy fuck!!! how can you be so fucking disgustingly biased? and even though you know i also like rivaere and have no problem w other levi ships, you're trying to use me as a scapegoat to "prove" self-shippers are "homophobic" and against "gay ships" start discourse with real levi stans bc some of them also didn't validate your ridiculously awful levi takes apparently. even though you also should be well aware tons of OC shippers also enjoy or don't mind eruri, you're literally attacking people JUST bc they disagreed with you in a previous discourse, just like what you're doing to me right now.

LMAOOOO nobody's crying anything you braindead loser, and the only one getting "curb-stomped" is your pea-sized brain trying to generate a sentence that doesn't have five contradictions and failing pathetically. "if they just left a sentence exactly like what i had in mind uwuwuwu i wouldnt have started to froth from mouth uwuwuuw how dare they accuse me of woobiefying levi when i obv woobiefy him uwuuuwu 🥺" LMAO nobody is obligated to treat your fragile ass like glass, not my goddamn problem you're so fucking pathetic you start losing you GODDAMN MIND when someone strays a little outside what you deem as acceptable. i didn't throw insults or anything at first either, i just said what it is: that you woobiefy his character, and you clearly can't stand being told the truth. Once again: you %100000 woobiefy him and resent people who don't agree with you. the fact you're THIS vitriolic towards people (thanks for showing i wasn't the only one, at least!) acting like i tainted your honor shows that enough. you literally wrote a "call out" bc of one comment which YOU turned into a fight. you lack introspection madly and you constantly project, so ofc you're just gonna spiral into another fit of rage when you see this, but you can't fool people who are unbiased no matter how much you blabber on 🙂

Ohhh lmao, it reaaaaaaally couldn't be more obvious you have beef with people who like top levi. that's literally it. Do you fucking realize how goddamn creepy you are when you talk about how i must want to get "smacked around" by a man just bc i said you were woobiefying him? You're a fucking freak. You have no idea what i even like (since you're so curious, i enjoy a wiiide range of levi) but this doesn't have anything to do with what we talk, you think people don't woobiefy characters they like as tops? bc it's SUPER common in most fandoms. the way you immediate resort to talking about people's sexual fantasies is freak behaviour and shows where your true problem lies. and what does this even mean "what the actual reality of Levi's sexuality would likely be"? Do you think people who have trauma can't be dominant? "Assuredly wouldn't enjoy sexual aggression" Why, were you in the room when he was banging people? That's just your hc you're pushing as canon, AGAIN. You want everyone to act like their hcs are just ooc hcs, but they have to accept your hcs as canonical regardless of how much bullshit they are. There's this insane push against *any* top levi content from eruri stans which they dub exactly as you do even though it doesn't reflect the fanon at all, and it makes it TOO OBVIOUS what your real issue is. Lmao, an eruri shipper who has a problem w ppl who like top levi, what a fucking surprise! 🙂

also this is from that @p-ssypink imbecile who's also obv an eruri

stop projecting and pulling discourse out of your ass. "forced masculinization" levi is already a hypermasculine character in canon, you clown. which probably makes you cry :^) and what does this have to do with homophobia? you think all gay men are feminine? pretty sure such stereotyping constitutes as homophobia. anyway, i said "my deal is im in love w him" bc that clown said something like "your whole deal is your hate for eruri rather than stanning levi" i think that message was cut from the og. obv loving a character doesnt make anyone an authority. but "every eruri is out to get self shippers bc they're ego-maniacal lunatics who cant separate fanon from canon and only see levi as a smol bean omega bottom to be protected" Yes, you got one thing correct, congrats! :) 👏🏻 That's exactly how %99 of eruri shippers are like and anyone who has been in this fandom long enough knows that. But "to be protected" is misplaced, since they mostly get off on degrading and torturing him. sometimes they just like to pretend they have any sympathy for him since they've been accused of being levi haters since ALWAYS, lmfao, but don't worry, i can send you a lot where they admit that too. and ofc, the pretend sadness fits right into their agenda with that sad pathetic little doormat levi they want.

anyways. am i homophobic or are people who consistently emasculate a character in %99.9999 of their fanon bc they think being feminine or bottom is degrading the ones who are homophobic? or maybe calling him the f slur constantly, you'd think qualifies? you don't think treating him like a "little twink who's only job is to get fucked" is fetishistic and homophobic, is that tooootally okay for you? What about bullying and mocking people who think differently and forcing their hcs on them, is that fine?

"inability to top" hmmmmmm i wonder how do these people see t/b roles and why they're so aggressive about them 🤔

plotting to get a levi/oc video down....kudos on that courage to admit that on their main! 👏🏻

there are so many, this was veeeeeeery hard to pick tbh but here are just few examples. and no, these aren't just one off events or "bad apples" and all of these people are known eruris, and some have thousands of followers. you may accuse me of "making hating eruri my entire online identity" which is fine and dandy. but ENTIRE eruri fandom makes their identiy hating on what they deem is a threat to their glorification fantasy.

as a bonus here are some multishippers who love eruri talk about the same issue being so common as well 🙂

i think it should be clear why :')

and @jayteacups saying this nonsense, idk if theyre just playing obtuse but lmfao. some people just don't know mentality in shipping communities enough soooo

having an OC/self-insert have NOTHING TO DO with what im talking about when i criticize self-inserting/identifying etc with a character. and what i'm criticizing isn't even the fact they self-insert into a character lmfao, it's the entire toxicity it brings, bc through overly identifying w some inadequecy of a character (in this case it's obviously the fact levi's more popular and attractive than erwin that bothers them) they grow jealous and resentful, bend canon to alleviate their insecurity + derive ego wank and attack others who don't validate them. as a result, practically all they do is degrading levi in every way and use him as a validation device (and other characters too btw, just look at how they treat zeke) to make erwin come off "superior", gatekeeping levi bc they can't stand seeing him w other characters, even real life fangirls, both out of possessiveness but also bc it ruins their narrative where erwin's the "conventionally attractive" one. that's the reason for the push against people who like levi in a "hetero" way (read: Top, masculine, alpha, daddy, het, whatever bc they think it translates into "conventionally attractive" lmfao, and precisely why they love bi erwin but NEVER bi levi). and this isn't just against self-shippers, they treat every other levi fandom similarly, and these ships also get mocked as "self insert ships". ironic considering their treatment of erwin puts early ff.net mary sues to shame 🥴 they can't be honest about jackshit bc it ruins their glorification fantasy where erwin has to be the one that ship is all about. they're the definition of "have my cake and eat it too", they act like they barely tolerate levi just for erwin's sake but bitchfight over him every second with everyone, depict him as a one-sided simp for erwin, try to alleviate their insecurity by reducing him to a loser doormat while doing the exact opposites towards erwin.

⬇️ gotta be pretty self explanatory lmfao

^ Very famous and beloved people among eruris

despite the fact there's a lot of pushback, they'll still argue tooth and nail that women wouldn't like levi and would prefer erwin. Why do you think this is soooo important to them? :^) ⬇️ lol wonder why they want him to convince ppl he's "feminine" so bad! almost like it's bc they see it as unattractive and degrading! but sure, we're the sexist homophobes for hating eruri fans, right? oh and the white supremacist rhetoric also so common - bc i've never seen anyone refer to being blonde in MEN as a good thing outside eruri fandom - since it's a feminine stereotype. "tall DARK and handsome", no? :') But they'll use ANYTHING just to make erwin look better, so they're pretend it's related to generic beauty standards rather than, idk, fucking rantings from hitler's headquarters. maybe some other day i should post them calling him aryan, hmmm....

look at how they act towards even their own (rare good ones lmao) artists when they depict levi in a conventionally attractive way, they bash on it and call it "hetero" hmmm :')

Oh oops they already said the quiet part loud! 😱But going around shitting on artists and calling levi "erwin's submissive little bitch" is okay to you, right?

By the way, one of the anons cosmicjoke made a fake acc to come at me just now on twitter bc i called out one of the eruris calling levi f*ggot. Apparently according to them it's just no big deal, that's just calling levi "gay". :') linking it bc too many pics: https://x.com/emeraldsas77759/status/1801556666556559451

Just a small taste of what eruri fandom is like, since most people here on tumblr don't have a fucking clue. Anyway cosmic"joke", what an apt name. Now, you can puke blood all over all you want like the useless, pathetic eruri ass-kisser you are and write few other novels for my sake! don't get too comfy with those erwin stans who are now sending you their love instead of harassing you tho lmfao!

(^ bc they said levi had a bolo tie of his own and MAYBE he wasn't wearing erwin's bolo tie in the FUCKING OFFICIAL ART LMFAO)

"don't ruin the rep of our fandom they're not eruris uwu" Familiar argument, isn't it? :') bc THAT'S what they do, creating ungodly amounts of toxicity, shitting on everyone, intruding in everyone's spaces, then when they get even a little pushback, they start screeching like little rats trying to shift the blame on others. These are the people you defend when you defend eruris. But hey, you can continue to suck up to them, try not to step one milimeter out of line tho, saying levi isn't erwin's dog may get you death threats. Have fun, goodnight, good luck! 😘

#icb you bitchasses wrote shit like this 10 times a day about me thats insane like how am i being called obsessive aorund here

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winter-soldier-vibes · 4 years ago

Text

Reason to Come Back (Bucky Barnes x reader)

Reason to come back

Bucky Barnes x reader

Word count: 3574

Request: "can you do something where seb(or one of his characters)and reader used to date and one day he broke up with her and after a short time he comes up with a new girl(not cheating)and the reader thinks that she’s worthless and not beautiful or good enough and that’s why he broke up with her and tries to be better(you know what to do•_-) and silently suffering etc. and with a happy ending where they get back together"

Warnings: mentions of a breakup, angst, depression, very slight mentions of disordered eating and exercise (very slight, not like most of my other fics), general feelings of worthlessness, angst

Tags: @buckys2thicc @mardema @stucky-on-spiderman @abitgryffindorky @freigeistundanderes @barnesplums @thatfangirl42 @buckfics @babyboibucky

A/N: I AM SO SORRY TO THE ANON THAT REQUESTED THIS SO LONG AGO AND THAT IT TOOK SO LONG! I don’t even know if they’re still here, I feel so bad. I got an anon request for this fic and I did not know about the inbox for Tumblr accounts until just recently because I’m incompetent. There’s no excuse for me taking so long to write it, but I wanted to even though it’s been 9 months since they sent it. If you’re still here anon, thank you for sticking with me!

NEW NOTE 06/04/21: I rewrote this to be for Bucky as opposed to Sebastian. It is still mostly the same, just reworded in some places. This is meant to take place in reference to the timeline of tfatws and mentions moments from the show. I am referencing “the time he was gone” as the series episode 1-6. I don’t know how much time passed but I assume it was at least a few weeks if not longer (especially between episodes 5 and 6). That’s how I wrote it.

------------------------

It was a quiet night, you under some blankets on the couch watching a movie. There was an empty bowl aside from a few popcorn kernels on the coffee table in front of you, the movie more for background noise than entertainment. You were scrolling through your phone mindlessly, looking for a distraction that would keep you occupied.

Not that it was working too well. There wasn’t much that could distract you from the fact that you were alone.

9 months. You had dated for 9 months. Not that he had been around for much of it. He had been with Sam on an extended mission, and he had been gone for a few weeks. You didn’t know much about the mission, Bucky wasn’t allowed to tell you. For your safety. You understood. It was his job, you knew that, but it could be lonely most of the time. He would call or text you if he could, but he couldn’t compromise his location. You were always happy to hear from him, but it wasn’t the same as when he was around.

You knew this would happen, and you had accepted that. It was hard, but you could manage.

You hadn’t heard from him in a weeks, but you didn’t think much of it. He and Sam must have gotten closer to the answers they had been looking for. You could only hope that he was safe. it took a toll on you, worrying about him, but you had been so happy when he had said he was coming home. But when he walked through the door, he didn’t seem excited at all.

You had wrapped your arms around him, and he had hesitantly hugged you back gently. You had known something was wrong almost immediately, pulling back and trying to meet his eyes. “Babe? Are you okay?”

“We should talk,” he said, struggling to meet your eyes.

You pulled your eyes together with concern. “Yeah, yeah what’s wrong?”

“I, uh… I don’t know if this is gonna work out.”

You shook your head, surprised. “What do you mean? What happened?”

“I just don’t think you and I work with 1,000 miles between us.”

“What?” you said in disbelief. “You’re the one who has to leave and I told you that I’m okay with it, and I am. I never thought you’d be the one with the problem with it.”

“Y/n -”

“We can work this out, Buck. You said it yourself, you don’t normally go away for that long. I’m not going anywhere, I - ”

“I can’t ask you to stay, y/n,” he said, cutting you off. You shut your mouth and shook your head. “Where is this coming from, what happened?” you asked.

He cleared his throat. “I should go.”

“You don’t get to walk away from this like that!” you exclaimed, nearly yelling.

“And I don’t have the right to expect you to wait for months while I’m out trying to save people. I thought it’d be fine but I couldn’t stop thinking about you here, alone. There’s going to be more missions, more danger. They recreated the serum. Who knows what else they’ll be able to create? You shouldn’t have to deal with that.”

“You don’t get to make that choice for me! I told you I’m okay with it and I still am, Bucky! I know the risks!” you said, tears pricking your eyes.

He looked away. “You deserve much better than me. Someone who can be there for you.”

You walked up to him and cupped his face. “You’re all I could ever want Bucky. Distance be damned.”

He sighed and pulled you into a hug, squeezing you tightly for a moment. “I have to go y/n. I’m sorry.”

He let you go and turned around, not even looking back to say goodbye.

That had been a couple of weeks ago. You had been crushed at first, devastated. But you were still able to function in your day-to-day life. You had a few friends to hype you up or cry with you, whatever the day was. You were able to still get to work, try to move on. And it was getting better, but the nights were still hard. It wasn’t the same when you knew he wouldn’t be coming home.

During the day you could pretend like you were waiting for that night when he would be able to call you. But at night, it was dark and you didn’t have a person you wanted to call.

You weren’t bitter, in a way you understood. You had known how relationships could be ruined by distance and work. But being a super soldier wasn’t a typical line of work. You had been okay with it, but you hadn’t thought that it would’ve affected Bucky as much as it seemed to. You had been emotional at the time, but looking back on it you could understand where he was coming from. Relationships were two-sided - just because you felt okay didn’t guarantee he was.

You knew what he did was dangerous. You had accepted that there might not have always been a happy ending. Maybe he hadn’t.

But then one day you had walked into a bar, only to see Bucky flirting with another girl, laughing away..

That was all you needed to see.

You didn’t want to read too much into it, any kind of situation could be misread. But him laughing with a very attractive girl over drinks shortly after becoming single - you couldn’t help but wonder.

You tried to tell yourself that it didn’t matter, that you were reading everything wrong, but your heart still felt as though it was breaking.

She was gorgeous. Much more so than you, you had thought.

Was that why he left? Was he just wanting to get himself back out there? Had he met her and just needed to get rid of you?

You didn’t want to think that way, none of it was true. He wouldn’t do that, he was a good man. But still…

Maybe if you were different it would’ve been harder for him to leave.

Maybe you hadn’t given him a good enough reason to stay.

And maybe, if you were better, prettier, he would come back.

It started small - making more of an effort to go to the gym, not ordering takeaways every night, that sort of thing. Not that you had much of an appetite to begin with. But you didn’t realize when your days had become full of going from work to the gym, nor why you had freaked out so much when you had sprained an ankle and couldn’t do your normal workout.

You had decided to work your arms those next few days to supplement the cardio you had missed. You had kept this up until you woke up one morning struggling to turn over because you were so sore. You decided that that day, you could take a rest day.

A rest day turned into a rest week, and soon enough you were only leaving your house to go to work. And only because you needed money.

You had cut yourself off from most of your contacts, still replying every now and then so they wouldn’t be concerned. You didn’t go out with them or call them because you were worried they would see right through you. Better to stay home. Your bed would never judge you.

You had become familiar with the spots on the wall, the streaks from god knows what, the way that light would filter through your window as the sun ascended and descended the sky. Hours could pass and you could still be in the same position.

You had to keep up a front around everyone. Letting people know how much you were hurting was not an option for you. Then they would ask what was wrong and pull you aside and look at you with this concerned face that you couldn’t deal with. It was the one that everyone always gave when someone was having a bad day, the one people put on when they wanted you to think that they cared. Sometimes they did, but most of the time a person with any sense of morals would put that face on to make a person think that they cared. It’s the same way “How are you?” is more of a greeting than a genuine question.

There were people who cared, but you didn’t want to have that conversation. You didn’t even know what you were doing anymore. It was an honest thought of bettering yourself, but it was for the wrong reasons. Trying to be better for Bucky made you realize how much you missed him. How angry you really were at him. But you couldn’t take it out on him, he didn’t deserve that at all, he didn’t earn that. But you were angry at...something, and maybe it was yourself, at letting him walk out that door, of not calling him and leaving him messages. Maybe if you had fought for him he would’ve stayed. If you had said something when he distanced himself.

You felt like this was your fault. And maybe if you changed something about yourself, you would learn from your mistakes.

Not that you knew exactly what you had done or what isolating yourself would fix, or teach you for that matter.

At some point, you must have fallen asleep because your ringtone jolted you awake. You groaned, shutting your eyes again. You would let it go to voicemail, just like all of the others. If it was that important they would text you.

You let it ring, sighing when it had stopped. You readjusted in your bed, trying to fall back asleep. It was a Saturday morning, you had until Monday morning to sleep. You were going to make the most of it.

But then your phone began ringing again.

You opened your eyes again, picking up your phone to see who it was. You dropped the phone when you saw the name

Bucky Barnes

Why the fuck was he calling you? What could he possibly have to say to you?

You watched the phone ring through to voicemail, soon after seeing a voicemail was left. You didn’t bother listening to it, you didn’t need to. You simply rolled over in bed. If it were that important, he would have called sooner.

Bucky’s POV

As the call went to voicemail again, Bucky was confused. He had never known you to miss a call, ever. It wasn’t like you, he knew you would drop anything to take calls. You had said you hated people leaving voicemails because you hated them having to listen to your voicemail message. You had thought your voice had sounded weird. It was one of the little things he remembered about you that made him smile

And realize how royally he had fucked up.

Being away on a mission wasn’t anything new for him, but maintaining a serious relationship for him was. He had never met anyone like you, and he had missed you so much when he had left. He hadn’t felt anything like what he did when you smiled at him since the 40′s. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but all he could think about was how much he had missed you. And that made him think about how much you must have missed him.

He felt like he was holding you back in some way. He was used to being away in dangerous situations for periods of time but you weren’t. And no matter how much you had assured him that you were okay with the long-distance relationship, as the months went on he felt guilty for not being able to be there in the way that he wanted to.

In the way you deserved.

He broke up with you because he thought you deserved better than relying on phone calls and texts for months at a time. Someone who could be there all the time for you. Someone who you didn’t have to worry about getting shot when he left for a mission. Someone predictable and reliable. Something he couldn’t always do.

But God, did he miss you.

He regretted walking out that door. He regretted not giving you a better reason, for not calling you or texting you until now, weeks later. The more time went on, the more he felt it would be inappropriate to call you to apologize.

But he couldn’t take it anymore, so he dialed your number. And when it went to voicemail, he had gotten a little worried.

He knew he didn’t have much of a right or reason to be worried, but he had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right. So, he decided to reach out to one of your friends.

Hey, is y/n alright?

Why do you want to know?

Look, I know I messed up. I just wanted to apologize and give her the answer she deserves. But she’s not answering my calls.

She doesn’t do phone calls anymore.

What do you mean?

She won’t answer calls. She won’t even come out with us anymore. Something’s up but she denies it.

When did this start?

When do you think?

Bucky’s heart sank to his stomach. This was his fault. And he had to go make it right.

Your POV

You were still in bed, wondering why Bucky had called you. It didn’t make sense to you, for him to call after all of this time. What could he possibly have to say to you? Did he want to inform you of a new girlfriend before the news caught wind of it? Did he want to come up with some dumb excuse to tell you he was sorry?

It made you scoff slightly, but the tug at your heart let you know that it wouldn’t be unwelcome.

You couldn’t deny it. As much as his leaving had hurt you, you missed him more than anything.

You wanted another chance with him, one that you weren’t sure you would get. And the thought of him coming back to you was comforting. Like maybe it wasn’t your fault. Or maybe you had done enough to win him back.

Wishful thinking.

You had lost track of time, once again, but were snapped out of your daze by knocking on your door.

What? Why would anyone be here?

You sighed. It was probably just some random person selling some random product or something.

More knocking. More insistent. You sighed, standing up and silently groaning at the soreness you felt in your body. Not necessarily from overuse, but more so from underuse. You stood you slowly, walking quietly over to your door.

More knocking.

You made it to the door and glanced through the peephole you had, eyes widening and a small gasp leaving your mouth.

Why the fuck was Bucky here?

More knocking.

You ran a hand down your face. Knowing him, he wouldn’t leave. But why did it go from calling straight to ‘I’m coming to your door’? As if he hadn’t been the one to leave you?

More knocking.

You swallowed dryly. “Why are you here?” you called out through the door.

Bucky let out a breath. “I just want to talk to you”

You shook your head on the other side of the door, wondering if you should let him speak. As if he wasn’t already living rent-free in your mind.

“Please y/n.”

You set your face hard, pulling the door open. At least you would get to say your piece to him.

“Now you wanna talk? Fine. Let’s talk.” you said, coldly.

Bucky was slightly taken aback, though he couldn’t blame you. He took in your appearance, exhaustion seeming to overtake you. Dark circles under your eyes, pale skin, you just - all life seemed to be drained from you. He scratched the back of his neck nervously before he asked quietly, “Can I come in?”

You stepped to the side, silently allowing him in, closing the door behind you. You crossed your arms over your chest and shrugged slightly. “What do you want Barnes?

“I’m sorry,” he said. You scoffed slightly, shaking your head and looking away. “Y/n look at me, please. I fucked up.”

“Well it took you long enough to figure that one out didn’t it?” you snapped, looking at him.

“Y/n please -”

“Tell me, when exactly did you figure out that maybe, just maybe, you should say you were sorry?”

“Y/n please - “

“Who was the girl? The one in the bar from a few days after we had broken up? The one you were hitting on over a couple of drinks?”

“The… what?”

“When did you feel the slightest bit of regret? When did you change your mind and decide that you didn’t want to leave?”

“I never wanted to leave you!” he exclaimed. “Can you please just listen to me?”

You looked at him, anger in your eyes but you closed your mouth. You gave him a look that said ‘I’m listening.’

He took a deep breath. “The woman at the bar was an old friend of Sam’s. He had introduced the two of us at one point. I was at a bar one night and and she came over to say hello and stayed for one drink. It’s nothing more than that.”

You took a breath. Situations could definitely be read wrong. You knew it had probably been nothing.

“When we first got together we had talked about me leaving for missions. Long-distance, unpredictable times, dangerous missions. A lot of people have a hard time keeping that going.”

“And I knew that and was okay with it.”

“Let me finish, please.” he pleaded. “I knew you knew the risks but I’m not sure I was as ready as I thought I was. I left and suddenly I couldn’t talk to you because I was worried for your safety. I couldn’t be there for you in all the ways I wanted to be. In all the ways you deserved. I just...you didn’t deserve that. You deserved so much more than that.”

You felt tears prick your eyes. “You already told me that. When you left. What’s really going on?”

He shook his head slightly. “ Sam’s sister had gotten a call with a threat towards her and her children. I couldn’t put you at risk. These people, they were super soldiers just like me. I had a few close calls with serious injuries. And I realized that if I got hurt I couldn’t protect you. I couldn’t let you get hurt and I couldn’t let you worry about whether or not I would come home alive. I thought… I thought it’d be less painful for both of us if we stopped seeing each other before that happened.”

You shook your head slightly. “Why couldn’t you tell me that?” you said, a little more softly.

“I don’t know”

You shook your head. “You’re gonna have to do a lot better than I don’t know.”

“I - “ He sighed slightly. “I was scared. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I was scared that I was going to lose you.”

“So you gave me up?” you asked.

“And made the biggest mistake of my entire life.”

You looked to the side and bit your lip slightly. “You know I thought it was my fault?” you turned your face back to Bucky’s confused one. “I thought I wasn’t good enough for you. That if I was enough you wouldn’t have left. Or if I was better you would’ve come back.”

He shook his head and started walking towards you to comfort you. “It was never your fault angel -”

You backed up slightly. “You don’t get to call me that. Not right now, not yet at least.”

He looked hurt slightly, but he nodded. After a few moments of silence, you scoffed slightly.

“You know, as much as I hate to admit it, I fell apart these past few weeks. Told myself that the only thing I wanted and needed was having you come back. And here you are and...I don’t know, Bucky.” you shrugged. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or think, you broke up with me because you were afraid of hurting me? I - “ you rubbed your eyes. “I just… I get it, but I just wish we could’ve had this conversation weeks ago, Buck.”

“Does this mean we’re done?” he asked timidly.

“I… I don’t know. I just…. I think i need a little bit of time. Please. Just some time to think.”

He nodded, though he looked slightly disappointed. “Yeah, of course.” you nodded, walking him over to the door, opening it. He turned around. “Is it okay to give you a hug, y/n?”

You thought about it for a moment before nodding, letting him wrap his arms around your waist as you looped them around his neck. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, tears forming in your eyes as you realized how much you missed this. How much you needed this. When he went to pull away, you held him a little more tightly before letting him go.

He smiled at you before turning to leave. “Take as much time as you need, y/n.”

You gave him the smallest of smiles back. “I’ll see you later Bucky.”

And with that, you closed the door behind you, not having a clue what any of this meant. This didn’t make it okay by any means, but maybe, just maybe, the two of you could start fresh. Together.

#bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes #40s bucky barnes #bucky barns fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barns x reader #bucky barns x you #bucky fanfic #bucky #angst #angst angst angst #part two coming soon

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thelemoncoffee · 2 years ago

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here they are, the rolling nerds saiouma blog concepts i said i made yesterday

Kokichi User: cunningCapper Bio: "|| Capper's the name, making you irate is my game || He/It/Freak || Moriarty Kinnie, Professional Bear-poker and Wasp-nest Batter, IRL Clown || Sorry I'm a Gemini, I just can't help it || I can speak French between your legs || Plagues on Humanity DNI || Ask my age again and I'll make you the reason Area 51 exists ||"

Inbox names: Askbox - Asky Waskies UwU Submissions - *has this shut off*

His pinned: *his most infamous post* *idk what that would look like* *probably something cursed as fuck*

Blog Theme: -Eyestrain hell -Lots of red (cause i hc that's his favorite color) -He spent money to get one of those PC blog themes that are nearly impossible to navigate -His icon is probably some sorts of eyestrain jester/clown he drew -Banner is a super cursed image he dug up from the depths of hell

Ko's Custom Tags: Reblogs - #Refuck you in the ASS Queue - #Queue Continuum Debate - #Bear Caves and Wasp Nests Not real opinion - #Buddy-buddy with Satan Memes- #Clown to Clown commemeication His Pets - #Munkustrap and The Tapeworms Mutuals - #HORRIBLE BEASTS(affectionate) IRL Friends - #Insane Clown Pussies Boyfriend - #BoyToy Tales Life updates - #The 'I am actually a real person' Tag Asks - #A death threat probably Anons - #The Council of Shades Fanbases - #OwO a fandom wandom? Fave Characters - #Skrungly Gulp Plinko my Blorbo

Kind of posts: -The awful kind -He likes playing devil's advocate so much he has a tag to notify people he doesn't actually believe what he's arguing -The kind of tumblr user that fires the rent lowering shots -Actually a very good debate account despite the insane chaos in his debate unrelated posts -doesn't show his face- not for privacy reasons, but because he likes being seen as less of a human and more of an SCP

Shuichi User: pinetree-feathers Bio: "magpie told me i give off christmas season vibes"

Inbox names: Askbox - mail Submissions - share-a-thing

His pinned: [hello!] ~~~~ >call me pine >*age* >he/him but i'll accept any >half-hispanic japanese >snakes <3 >ppl tell im mean/sassy, i don't know why >this post is tagged with all my custom tags for easy access >*his DNI, whatever that may look like* ~~~~ [don't mind me i'm just a debate kid looking for someone to have discussions with. feel free to start debates with me on posts, but i will stop responding if things don't remain civil, and will block you if you harass me or others on any of my posts] ~~~~

Blog Theme: -Muted colors -Favorite shade of yellow -Either doesn't use a costume PC theme or has a really nice one -Icon rotates between various pieces of fanart he found of his favorite characters. -Banner is a cozy aesthetic picture

Shu's Custom Tags: Reblog - #interacting Debate - #debate corner Memes - #senseble chuckes Pets - #freeloaders Friends and Mutuals - #mi amigos Boyfriend - #mi amor magpie Life Updates - #life story Asks - #pine's mailbox Art - #quill and ink Selfies - #pine photos Aesthetic posts - #scrapbook various Interests - #my media catalog

Kind of posts: -Chill and pleasant kind -He likes to debate but also hates drama, so he only debates on stuff that isn't going to make him have to temporally turn asks off, this results in him sometimes getting into weird and niche debates -Unlike Kokichi he doesn't try to rile people up, so his blog is really peaceful and has a ton of debate unrelated stuff on it that is fun to dig through -He's posts selfies cause he feels much more confident online than he does irl. also he enjoys trying to maintain an aesthetic

it's also worth noting that while they both have tags to talk about each other as lovers and are openly mutuals who frequently debate together, neither have told anyone that they are boyfriends. so no one knows Capper's boyfriend he calls "The Boytoy" that he insisted is an emo deity is actually Pine, and no one knows Pine's beloved "Magpie" who he speaks so highly of is the shitshow king Capper

#danganronpa #ndrv3 #danganronpa v3 #kokichi ouma #shuichi saihara #saiouma #au #tumblr #shitposty

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cassiejane-writes · 3 years ago

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Call Me Ari

Fandom: Ghostbusters

Pairing: Egon Spengler x OC (platonic)

Word Count: 2,390

A/N: Boy, I’m terrified to post any OC content, so take it easy on me, please. I’m excited to introduce you all to my character, though! I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing this🧪💚

“Hello, may I help you?”

A flat, nasally voice spoke from behind a magazine, not bothering to look beyond the pages at the person standing before her. Janine Melnitz heard the footsteps shuffle toward the front desk, but found the article before her to be much more intriguing than whatever frantic sob story the next customer was likely to have. After a while, the descriptions of the ghosts, ghouls and things that went bump in the night stopped fazing the woman, and her level-headedness told the customers that it really wasn’t as big of a deal as they thought. Anticipating another freak-out from the person before her, Janine held her breath.

“Hello. I’m looking to apply for a job. If you’re hiring- that is,” another female voice spoke, maintaining a subtle and professional composure until the end. The second sentence faltered a bit, as though the person realized the boldness of their initial statement and had to curtail themselves. Janine paused, eyes narrowing behind her glasses and peering over the top of the magazine. A woman… come to apply for a job?

The woman in question was standing stock still, with dark brown eyes focused directly back at Janine. She was thin, and looked even thinner in the large clothing she wore: a belted pair of jeans and a black turtleneck, swallowed by a draping grey cardigan that hung over her hands, just barely showing her fingers that fidgeted restlessly in front of her. Her skin was rather pale, and her cropped brown hair fell in layers. At first glance, Janine would’ve said it was disheveled, but the assorted bobby pins across the woman’s bangs gave her the impression that at least the woman tried.

“Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis?” Janine slowly placed her magazine down, one eyebrow quirking at the rather unextraordinary woman. Her voice was monotone, as though this were a spiel she gave more than once a day.

“Oh, actually-”

“In addition,” Janine cut the young woman off, “Can you lift loads upwards of 20 pounds?”

The woman, whose lips had parted to finish her halted statement, gazed downward, before drawing in a deep breath. Janine waited, watching the young woman prepare her self-defense.

“Actually, I’m looking for a position in your laboratories,” she said half-apologetically.

“I am willing, however, to accept all of those notions with proper evidence.”

Janine paused again, hung on the woman’s request. A job in the laboratories? She almost scoffed at the idea, thinking of the man who ran them. An independent and aloof man, who would sooner blow up a city street than take in a lab assistant (a concept based in true fact, considering there were no lab assistants but one such avenue still repairing damages).

“Oh,” Janine began, leaning forward to look up at the woman through her pink-rimmed glasses.

“Our laboratories aren’t generally hiring, but I can place the call up to the Doctor for an interview.”

The woman seemed to perk up at that, the corners of her lips twitching upward. An interview was more than she’d gotten at three other laboratories, and those were not nearly as fascinating as the Ghostbusters’ supernatural and etherically-focused research.

“I’d greatly appreciate that, Miss…” the woman glanced down at the tag on the desk, her smile growing slightly bigger. “Miss Melnitz.”

Janine picked up the phone and placed it to her ear, hovering a finger over the rotary.

“It’s no problem, but I’ll warn ya. Don’t take it personal if you’re not hired, hun. He’s really choosy with people in the lab; even the other Ghostbusters aren’t allowed in half the time.”

She watched as the young woman’s smile fell slightly, the nerves going straight to her fingers as she continued to fidget with the sleeves of her cardigan, bracing for the worst.

“There’s someone here for an interview… A lab interview… Well, I’ll ask her…Yes, her.”

Janine sighed and looked at the woman, pursing her glossed lips in a puckered frown.

“What’s your name?”

— — —

This was it. This was when real first impressions were made. The way one says their name, their credentials, and their intentions makes all the difference. The sting of rejections from the past research laboratories had dimmed her spark, but this was further than she’d gotten before, and this was Arielle Maitland’s chance to secure the most fascinating job in the city.

“Arielle Maitland,” she said firmly to the woman at the desk, her smile returning slightly.

There were seemingly hundreds of thoughts speeding through Arielle’s mind at that moment, fighting for her attention and anxiety.

Don’t look nervous, even though you are.

Tell them about your research.

Focus on your accolades.

Ms. Melnitz is judging so harshly, that I can feel her eyes slicing through me.

You should’ve brought a resume.

Don’t tell them about the ghost in your closet that you befriended.

“What school did you graduate from?”

Arielle felt her thoughts pause with a mental record scratch, drawing her attention back to the woman at the desk.

“New York University. Class of 1982.”

As Ms. Melnitz repeated her words into the telephone, an almost puzzled look crossed her face.

“Well, yes, I suppose it’s her. Shall I send her up?”

Arielle hadn’t the faintest idea what that interaction could’ve meant, but Ms. Melnitz seemed surprised and offered to send her to the laboratory, so she could only hope it meant something positive. The twist of anticipation in her stomach seemed to grow as she bit her lips inward, glancing hopefully at the staircase and then back to the secretary.

“Mhm. She’ll be right up,” Ms. Melnitz confirmed before hanging the phone back on its hook. She drew in another deep breath before gesturing to the staircase.

“Dr. Spengler will see you. Up the stairs, to the right and all the way down. His name is on the door, you can’t miss it. I wish you luck, Ms. Maitland.”

“Thank you, Miss Melnitz,” Arielle replied, almost breathless as she hurried to the staircase and took her first steps up.

“But remember-” Janine spoke up, swiveling her chair to look at her. “Don’t take it all personal.”

Arielle felt the punch of nerves hit her again as she nodded solemnly to the woman and proceeded up the rest of the stairs. It was quieter than she’d anticipated the Ghostbusters headquarters to be, though she could only assume that to mean that they were out on business. Was their laboratory researcher not a Ghostbuster, then? Ms. Melnitz had said he didn’t let ‘the other Ghostbusters’ inside, which implied that he himself was a Ghostbuster. Dr. Spengler… Arielle fought to remember which of the men had that nametag on their uniform. She had an inkling, but couldn’t be sure in thought alone.

She rapped lightly on the closed laboratory door, shifting nervously on the balls of her feet. Behind the obscured glass doors, she could hear the shuffle of papers, and then of a desk chair. The open and close of a file cabinet, and then the sound of a man clearing his throat before speaking.

“Come in.”

This was it, for the second time. The real first impression, the real selling point. If she could prove her scientific and professional prowess to Dr. Spengler, she may just secure a paying job that wasn’t tutoring failing middle school students.

Focus on your accolades and research.

Don’t talk about the ghost you befriended.

Arielle Maitland gingerly opened the door and stepped into the lab, taking a moment to glance around. It wasn’t a very large laboratory, but it was well organized and well-lit, with assorted scientific diagrams on the walls and a bookshelf of journals, textbooks and guides lined neatly in one corner. And, sitting at the main desk was a thin man with a long, slender nose and rounded glasses perched on the bridge. His hair seemed to defy laws of physics, standing atop his head in light waves that seemed untouched by products. Arielle had to wonder if some kind of electric shock produced a style like that. He wore a white lab coat and drummed his fingers mindlessly against the edge of the table.

“Arielle Maitland?”

His voice was deep and bore no hint of emotion. As Arielle looked down at him, she could gather no hint of intrigue, dismissal, or otherwise identifiable emotion. She proceeded with caution, measuring each word carefully as she spoke.

“Yes. Hello, Dr. Spengler. Miss Melnitz sent me.”

Dr. Spengler let out a low hum, reaching for a journal at the corner of his desk and rifling through the pages. Ari drew in a silent breath before pressing forward.

“As she said, I’m interested in applying for a position here in the- your laboratory. I hold a degree in chemical engineering and cosmology from NYU, with a minor in psychology. I’ve worked-”

“Researching spectroscopy of historical landmarks and denoting psychological shifts of visitors, in comparison with newly built architecture,” Dr. Spengler finished, reading from the page he’d just found in his book.

“An interesting concept, it almost lends itself to studies of parapsychology. Though your samples didn’t go before the 18th century and avoided religious locations.”

Arielle Maitland was floored. Her senior research was being read back to her, scrutinized and even half-complimented, by a Ghostbuster. She wasn’t even sure if her own parents had made it through the published research, let alone anyone else. And yet, Dr. Spengler was drumming his fingers along the page, humming lowly as he read over her published work with narrowed, dark eyes.

“Well- pre-revolutionary sites are harder to come by in the New York as visitor locations, and I wanted to keep my research in line with non-rural areas. In addition, the research of historical religious sites may have influenced the variable psychology and verity of the interview subjects, regardless of spectroscopy. And, while I admit there are hints to parapsychology in theory, I’m afraid NYU would’ve never recognized that as a viable area of study.”

Dr. Spengler turned from his chair and stood up, slowly approaching Arielle. His looming shadow over her brought her attention to his height, and how significantly taller he was than her. His brows were furrowed as he looked down at her, studying her facial expression (which she knew, at that moment, must have been a thinly veiled look of pure anxiousness) and body language. Her back arched as she looked up, taking a cautious step back.

You blew it. You talked back and you blew it. Take the criticism and accept your failure, Ari. Don’t. Talk. Back.

“Convincing institutions is like pleading with a brick wall,” he muttered. “In the realm of parapsychology and ethereal-plane chemistry, religious sites are home to some of the most potent readings and samples in the field.”

Arielle blinked silently at him, lowering her head so as to not crane her neck toward his face. In a flash, he turned around, swiping the book off of his desk and speaking again.

“But I commend you, the NYU Scientific Journal is a competitive research publication, and mixed psychological-chemistry research is rare. From a student, no less.”

“Th-thank you, Dr. Spengler. I appreciate that you’ve read my research.” Arielle half-whispered her response, airing on the side of caution. His tone still bore no indication of where his thought process was, and whether or not she rested on the precipice of a job offer or another miserable rejection.

“I read the research that’s worth reading,” he replied, closing the journal and filing it back on the shelf. For the first time, Ari could sense a shift in his voice. Though she could no longer see his face, she could almost feel the hint of a smile in his words. She knew not to be so bold as to take it as a sign, but it did make her wonder… If he thought her research was worth reading, would she be worth hiring?

“Having a broad perspective and proper research is important, especially in this industry.”

Arielle rocked on her heels a couple of times, growing slightly more confident in the path Dr. Spengler was taking with his words. Perhaps, a slightly bolder and self-assured approach was warranted. Her tone brightened as she half-smiled at the doctor’s back.

“Well, I believe I have both; an open mind, but scientifically driven toward empirical evidence.”

“Your research speaks as evidence, Ms. Maitland.” Dr. Spengler took a pause before turning back to face her. Then, she could see the corners of his lips upturned, in a slightly anticipatory smile.

“I’ll look forward to seeing the research in this laboratory.”

Arielle let out a breath that she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, in a surprised half-laugh. He was offering her a job at the Ghostbusters lab, even anticipating working with her. Her eyebrows raised in pleasant shock, and her freckled face broke into a wider grin than she’d had in a very long time.

“Thank you, Dr. Spengler. Thanks. I- I thoroughly look forward to it as well. There’s a lot to be discovered, and I can’t wait to-”

For a moment, she stumbled, fighting for a professional phrase but coming up empty. With an apologetic laugh and an embarrassingly red flush to her face, she pressed on. “To discover it.”

She held out a hand for Dr. Spengler to shake, only to find it hanging awkwardly in the air, half-covered by her cardigan. For a brief moment, she locked eyes with him, her face growing even deeper in color as she slowly went to lower her hand. As her fingers recoiled with another guilty glance to the ground, she felt the man’s thin fingers grasp around her hand, firmly shaking it. Her head jerked up with surprise, meeting his dark eyes once more.

Dr. Egon Spengler had a smile, a full smile, painted across his face now as he looked at his new lab assistant and research partner, Arielle Maitland.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Arielle.”

Ari grinned widely back at the man and nodded as she shook his hand. She stepped back toward the door, placing one foot out before turning back and offering one last tip to her new boss.

“Please, call me Ari.”

#fanfic #fanfiction #egon spengler #egon spengler fanfiction #egon x oc #original character #ghostbusters fanfiction #ghostbusters #ghostbusters 1984 #fiction #ghostbusters 2 #egon simp #oc x canon #oc x cc #scifi #ghostbusters oc #cassiejane writes #fanfiction writer

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jerzwriter · 3 years ago

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Hey, E! To shake things up, I would like to request number 41 from the 101 ways list for Olivia/TRR MC. I know you wanted her to be an LI (as I'm sure so did many other people), so I hope you'll be happy to write this little story! 🙂

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Olivia Nevrakis x F!MC (Riley)

Rating: Teen

Category: Fluff with light angst

Summary: After setting out for a fun day in New York City, Riley needs to take some time to tend to Oliva’s wounds, which are more than skin deep.

Warnings: Discussion of verbal harassment, wound, blood, some cursing

Words: 1655

A/N: My laptop almost auto-corrected when I did not type Open Heart next to "book". Yes, this is my first TRR story. I’m nervously hitting “post-now” because this is not my comfort zone. This was prompted by the ask above “Let me see your scars.” I loved Olivia, and yes, I wish she had been an LI. So I hope I did this justice. But please, be kind… out… of… comfort… zone. 😊

A/N 2: I am also participating in this week’s @wackydrabbles, the prompt, “What’s in it for me?” can be found below.

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS

If you wish to be added or removed from tags, please let me know. Comments and reblogs are always appreciated. 😊

“Would you wait! Olivia! You can’t just run off and atta… ahh!”

She should have known better. After all of her years of living in New York City, she knew that running through the subway in expensive heals was not a bright idea. Fortunately, a kindly older man, a true rarity in New York City, helped steady her just before she would have crashed into the pavement.

“Thank you! Thank you, sir,” she gasped. She took barely a second to catch her breath before taking off again.

“Miss! You shouldn’t be running like that in those heels!”

She looked at the steep staircase coming up ahead, and she knew the man was right. Her heels would really slow her down. She looked at the dirty ground beneath her and grumbled to herself.

“Aaagh! You give me no choice!”

The gentleman looked on in horror, “Miss! You really don’t want to run around barefoot! You must not be from around here!”

“I used to be,” she smiled over her shoulder as he disappeared from sight. “Oliva! The messes you get me into.”

She finally made it up to the street, where a symphony of car horns, distant sirens, and blaring music greeted her. Despite her current situation, a smile slowly spread across her face.

“God, I miss home!”

The moment of reprieve ended when she heard the muffled pleas of a man begging for mercy a short distance away.

And that is where I will find Olivia!

She slipped her shoes back onto her feet and ran in the direction of the whimpering and tears.

“Olivia! What are you doing?”

“I’m teaching this pathetic excuse of life a lesson.”

“OLIVIA! Stop it! Stop… let him go!”

“Like hell I will! Not after what he did to you.”

“Liv, the punishment is not befitting of the crime. Sure, he’s a misogynistic pig, but he didn’t hurt me!”

“Really?” Olivia said, tightening her grasp around the man’s necktie. “Maybe that’s because I was there! Maybe that’s because there were too many witnesses. Maybe next time he sees someone, he will believe he can get away with more. And I’ll make sure that next time….”

“Oliva put the freaking knife away. Now!” Olivia did not comply, and Riley was growing impatient. “I said NOW!”

Reluctantly, Olivia set the man free, but not before pushing into the brick wall behind him to render one final punishment before she did.

“You’re crazy,” the man screamed as he ran off. Nearly getting hit by a yellow cab in his eagerness to flee.

“You want to see crazy! Come back, here. I will show you crazy.”

“She really will!” Riley agreed, “Don’t come back. Keep running if you know what’s good for you.”

Olivia turned to Riley with fire in her eyes.

“Why did you force me to let him go?” She snapped.

“I didn’t exactly force you to do anything,” Riley grinned, “I strongly encouraged.”

Olivia’s lips pursed as she shook her head furiously. Her facial expressions turned from anger to frustration, then finally, acceptance.

“You know that’s enough!” She protested, “I don’t know what it is about you! You push hard enough, and you can get anything you want from me.”

Riley giggled, her cheeks red as she looked up at Olivia from under her lashes.

“Oh, I think you know exactly what it is about me,” she smirked. She gently took her lover’s hand in hers. But the smirk disappeared when she felt a slick, wetness spreading on her palm.

“Olivia!” She shrieked, “You’re bleeding!”

Olivia pulled her hand away and held it up to her face to examine the cut.

“This is nothing,” she said as blood ran down her wrist. “Don’t worry. It was accidentally self-inflicted. That pathetic little flea was unarmed.” She shook her head in disgust, “He didn’t even know how to show up for a knife fight.”

Riley let out a deep, exasperated sigh. “Come with me!” she said, leading her girlfriend to the steps of a nearby brownstone.

“What are you doing?” Olivia asked as Riley rifled through her purse.

“Looking for my first-aid kit.”

Olivia’s brows shot up, “You carry a first-aid kit?”

Riley glared up at her. “You carry around 16 knives and switchblades on any given day. If I’m dating you, it’s best to be prepared.”

Olivia laughed softly as Riley tended to her wound.

“What are you laughing about? You’re the only person I know who laughs while someone is pouring peroxide on their wound!”

“Oh, Riley. This is child’s play, don’t insult me. Plus, we have very different ideas about what we need to carry to be prepared.”

Riley snorted, “You can say that again. Gauze and antiseptic for me, and back to the sixteen knives or switchblades for you.”

“It’s thirty! At least thirty. And who uses a switchblade, they are cumbersome. Although, they are good for show. Perhaps I’ll add one to my arsenal.”

“You mean wardrobe?”

“Exactly,” she grinned.

After wrapping the bandage securely, Riley moved up and sat next to Oliva on the steps.

“Why did you go after him?”

“Because he verbally assaulted you! I don’t know what makes men feel they have the right to speak to women like that. But no one is speaking to you like that and getting away with it.”

“I know. And I agree with you, but it was only words….”

“It’s never only words, Riley. Never. It’s a way to get in your mind, to make you feel less, a subtle threat to remind you that they believe you exist solely for their pleasure. It was the middle of the day, and we were together, but what if you were alone at night? How would you have felt?”

Riley sighed and looked down at the ground. “I know, Liv, but you can’t beat up every man that acts inappropriately. We’d really never have time to get anything else done.”

“Well, I wish we could,” Olivia said sadly. Her cheeks reddened, and she bit her lip softly, looking away from a concerned Riley. She had never seen this look on Olivia before. She was… shaken.

“Liv… talk to me.”

“I’ve never had anyone who really mattered, OK? You know the story. My parents, my family… you’re the first person I care for who cares back for me just as strongly. You’re the first person I believe when they say they love me. So I’m sorry, Riley, but I will destroy anyone and anything that threatens you, and I will take pleasure in doing so.”

“Olivia,” Riley sighed, placing a comforting arm around her shoulder and pulling her near. “I’m here, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”

Unable to reply, Olivia looked into Riley’s eyes then laid her head on her shoulder. She smiled as Riley comfortingly ran her fingers through her auburn locks and planted several soft kisses on the top of her head. These acts of tenderness and feelings of comfort were a whole new world to her, but she found that she was getting used to it. But the more she let herself give in, the greater her fear became of anything taking Riley away.

“Liv?”

“Hmm,” Olivia muffled.

“Let me see your scars.”

“What?” she queried as she shot upright. “You cleaned my wound. It was only one. Do you think that pathetic little rodent was going to hurt me?”

“No,” Riley laughed, “No. Not that one.”

Olivia offered a saucy smile. “Well, I believe you’ve seen enough of me that you have seen the others by now, too.”

“No, silly,” Riley blushed. “I’m talking about the wounds we can’t see. The scars you carry inside of you.”

Olivia cast her eyes downward and looked away, but Riley was not having it. She lovingly touched her chin and directed her gaze back to her own.

“Olivia, look at me. I love you, and I am here for the long haul. I want to take care of you as much as you want to take care of me, and, for you, I think that means healing those wounds. Let me in, Liv. Let me help you feel safe; feel free.”

“I don’t know if you want to go someplace that dark,” she replied.

“I think it’s just hard for you to accept that you finally have someone who will face the darkness with you.”

Olivia looked up and smiled, “Fine. So I let you in, and you get to see the deepest parts of me. You’ll probably want to go to a shrink,” Olivia shuddered.

“Probably,” Riley laughed.

“All of this for you, Riley,” she said sarcastically, “And what’s in it for me?”

Riley bit her lip and chuckled, slowly leaning into Olivia.

“I think you know that answer,” she whispered as she leaned forward and brushed their lips together. Olivia pulled her back when she went to pull away, allowing them to escape into their own little world while they shared a slow, tender kiss.

“HEY! YOU TWO!! GET A ROOM!” A man yelled from a window across the street.

And, that little world was gone. They broke apart laughing.

“And you think I’m not tough? I lived here, Olivia!”

“Please, a child of five from Lythikos could put all of these people in their place.”

“I’m sure they could,” Riley laughed. “But for today, can this girl from Lythikos and this girl from New York just enjoy some time in my hometown together? Without the potential of arrest for assault?”

“I suppose, for you,” Oliva smirked. She stood up and offered her hand to Riley. “Let’s go!”

“Let’s. So, what do you want to see first?”

“I don’t know. Anything but the Statue of Liberty. Liam has gone on and on about it since birth. What is the big deal, really?”

Riley smiled, their hands were entwined, and they were just two tourists in love, and this was precisely the day she had dreamed of.

Permatags: @a-crepusculo @annoyingmillenialnewbie @anonymousrookie @binny1985 @bluebelle08 @bluerosesbloom @brokenmemoriesblog @charisworld @chemist-ana @crazy-loca-blog @custaroonie @everybodyscreamsposts @geneievemd @icecoffee90 @jamespotterthefirst @jennieausten @kachrisberry @kalinahonore @lady-calypso @liaromancewriter @lucy-268 @mia143 @mjlbwork @mm2305 @phoenixrising308 @pixelberrygirl @potionsprefect @schnitzelbutterfingers @secretaryunpaid @shewillreadyou @shygirl4295 @socalwriterbee @thegreentwin @toadfrog26 @txemrn @wanderingamongthewildflowers @spookycolorpeanut @mainstreetreader

@choicesficwriterscreations

#choices fanfic #the royal romance #olivia nevrakis #olivia nevrakis x f!mc #playchoices fanfic #choices fic writers creations #cfwc fics of the week

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ackerpreach · 4 years ago

Text

This ending .... I can name 500 reasons and I will name them right now, because I don’t think I’m the only one who is upset with how things turned out. (Also, A positive message for all of you at the end)

MAJOR LEAKS SPOILERS/ READ WITH CAUTION

Update: after reading more theories from fellow RM bloggers, and sleeping over it one day, this entire chapter might be an april fools... Don't fully lose hope yet beautiful people. It's me just giving a review on a possible fake April fools chapter

After following this franchise since 2013, so nearly a DECADE. this ending is a pure disserve to the entire fandom. I feel like Yams has rushed it just for the sake of being done with the entire manga. So many things are left open, characters and their developemt are reverted back all the way to chapter 1 or are left even worse than that...

Mikasa’s worthless character development/ Aaronmika’s horrible toxic codependent relationship

Oh honey... Let’s start with how horrible Isayama has treated her. We were all rooting for her, because we all felt like she was so misunderstood. She had a horrible childhood and imprinted on a guy who treated her like trash 99 percent of the story. And then, slowly but surely, she starts to realize she has to stop obsessing over him in the uprising arc with the help of a real man who treats her like a queen, more importantly, he treats her like a real human being. This man sees her for her abilities and that she has the power to be self dependent. She learned parts of herself, that she was able to work together with him like no one else could. She learned parts of herself she was unable to do so if she kept obsessing about Aaron. All this love, care, mutual understanding and RESPECT these two shared.

but...NAH FUCK THAT, right Yams?? Throw all this development away, all this bonding. Let’s make the main female lead even more yandere than she already was in the first season. Let her make out with his decapacitated head (like dude, this is also pure disrespect to Aaron’s dead body btw) and let her obsess even more about the guy who has treated her no better than a piece of toilet cloth 99 percent of the time. The guy who was never really appreciative in front of her for saving his ass billions of times, who always pushed her away, who yells at her and snaps at her whenever he can instead of reasoning and talking calmly with her in mature way. (EVEN PARODY YOUTUBE CHANNELS WHO DONT SHIP ANYTHING MAKE IT A TROPE WHERE AARON TELLS MIKASA HE HATES HER GUTS WHENEVER HE CAN)

Then after all that, suddenly Yams tries to last minute persuade us Aaron’s always been head over heels for her??? He should have build their relationship better which he hasn’t even tried to do so... He must be thinking his fans are stupid for eating this from his hands.

Like seriously??? What is this???

Isayama is just fully contradicting himself. It’s like someone tipped him off with a buttload of money for him to write Aaron like this to satisfy shipping needs and to cash in those extra money’s from it. Even if he tried to cater to Erem*ika, this is not how you write a loving and caring couple which people will root for.

This next two panels just freaking infuriates me to the core of my soul. I can’t even describe how dissapointed I am with Mikasa.

Why is she clutching that head so obsessively like that? Why is she walking and turning her back away from her comrades? After everything they have done for her, after all they’ve been through?! After everything Armin has done? Standing up for Mikasa, beating up Aaron for hurting her. I feel like even Jean, Connie and Sasha have cared more for her in a healthy way. Sure, Aaron cares for her romantically too apparently (What a twist Yams :)), but has he aided her to becoming a mentally healthier individual? Has he aided in her mental stability? The answer is a big fat NO! All I see between these two after today’s raw Chapter’s are too Yandere obsessed individuals who have no clue on how to maintain a healthy relationship.

Love should only go as far as the heart can endure and it seems like her character is not willing to be aware of that. Even Armin was able to let go of Aaron in those latest panels. Why does her entire character resolve around this guy??? I really do not understand. Her Ackerbond and her age is not an excuse for her to throw her life away like this.

Shonen’s disgusting portrayal of women

I’ve seen this countless of times in the many years I’ve watched anime. SasuS*ku from Naruto, Ichih*me from Bleach, Shinji and that oranged hair girl from Neon Evangelion.. Why do these women get decreased to simpletons with one single goal? And that is to obsess over a bland male lead who either treats them like trash or doesn’t notice them up until the last last chapter (LITERALLY WHAT YAMS HAS DONE). Some go even as far as the male leading wanting the kill the female love interest and yet the female lead is still in love with them???. It’s disgusting for him to write the MAIN female character this way.

It’s dissapointing we believed in Isayama doing Mikasa’s character right. That she’s finally being able to let go of her codependency and to live for herself maybe live in Hizuru and find more about her roots???, but every single time she shows some improvement, it’s burried deep in the ground again by the Author. It almost seems like a lowkey kink of some of the male Mangaka’s to write about a girl obsessing over them no matter what. I see this so many times to the point that I truly stand behind it that some of them might have this fantasy.

I wished he didn’t portray her last panels like this. Everyone else is living their lives while Mikasa is still grieving about him. I’m not saying she’s not allowed to grieve and everyone takes it at their own pace, but cmon... Show her living her life too. This is too much. Her being next to his grave and grieving him as her last panels just shoves it in our faces that YET AGAIN, BEING OBSESSED WITH AARON IS ALL HER CHARACTER STANDS FOR.

I truly despise how Isayama handles her grieving, kissing his decapacitated head, carrying it around like some handbag, and her last panels being thissss.

The world leaving Paradis alone miraciously after all that???

It’s so weird and out of place with so many political feuds and disagreements between the world and Paradis, the entire Rumbling happening and we can see Mikasa just chilling outside in Paradis with no one bothering them. You can see the rings of the walls in the picture below. I don’t know the exact reason behind as the manga is still in Korean, but from what I see, the story went the route of: throwing a happy ending without enough proper reason and it was all fixed just like that in a snap! It doesn’t fit the entire narrative of attack on titan for things to be so peacful out of nowhere. When it comes to the narrative, how things work in that world, how hard it is to achieve peace, everything made somewhat sense up until chapter 138. 139 seems so so out of place... It’s like I’m reading a chapter from a totally different manga.

Aaron Yoghurt got defeated so easily/ Aaron’s character assassination

The build up on the first part of the rumbling was great, those kids carrying coins. You could feel humanity’s fear and Aaron’s hatred in those pages. As if he truly had a goal and he has turned away completely from his comrades and his closest friends with no return. The world seemed truly doomed, but he got defeated just like that. He was in the nape all this time (because screw the warhammer power of hiding yourself elsewhere in his ginormous titan body). There is no master plan as we all expected, and in the end he just acts all yandere in the paths with Armin and that’s it... They massacared his entire character as well. Many fan theories created a better ending with his character. Him being reincarnated as Historia’s baby would be so much better. For him to still keep on seeking and to strive for power. It has always been his motive. It’s his personality from the start until chapter 138. Even if things are okay, to keep on going and to seek that adventure, but then.. He’s so weak and directionless suddenly.. It’s so weird... This is not Aaron at all???

Using Aaron for him this entire post, because I don’t want others to invade our tags... :)))

Historia’s baby

The only panel we got from Historia’s child was this. Just a normal kid, normal life... Why did Isayama put so much effort in highlighting Historia’s pregnancy if it was nothing too spectacular anyway? It seemed he had major plans for this kid and for their development too??? It’s again, big plans, big developments, big relationship dynamic, but all got thrown out of the window...

Don’t read the next sentence if you are a minor :’)

It’s like almost ejaculating, but stopping right before it and repeating that every single Arc.

My energy when writing about this chapter is the same as Nostalgia Critic and his hatred for atla the live action

In Conclusion...

I know us fans should not be deciding on how this story should end, because this is Isayama’s story after all, but I truly wished for him to wrap up things much more rounded. There are so many unanswered questions... Again, I think for the sake of being done with this manga, he rushed all of it. He’s become a millionaire from this story and now his pockets are jammed full, I guess he doesn’t need to put in any effort anymore, right? Perhaps a controversial opinion, but I really wished he cared for his fans a little bit more with this last chapter by giving some answers that make sense at least. It’s his fans who gave him this platform and the opportunity to tell his story and for him to at least give in a bit of effort especially in the last chapter is the least he can do. Rivamika being canon or not, he truly rushed it without thinking much about the entire story line. He expanded it so much, he didn’t know how to bind it all together.

Even after all this, I’ll still ship them in the headcanon type of way. I do give credit to Isayama for giving us a template for such a beautiful dynamic between Levi and Mikasa. He decides to waste it, but that doesn’t mean we have to. I want to thank all the people with amazing writing skills, the ones who give us beautiful art like @carmenlee @phit chan @vialesana and many more. I want to remind all of you that we can create something beautiful of our own and we don’t neccesarily need canon lore for that. The art I’ve seen, the fanfictions I’ve read have touched me deeper than Isayama ever could at times.The Mikasa in our mind is appreciate of Levi, is mature, classy and has a strong will for herself. They spend their remaining days together peacefully. Keep writing, keep drawing, stay creative.

I love you all so so much, I’ve only been publicly active since March, but thank you Rivamika fandom for giving me so much joy as a lurker these past 7 years <3

#rivamika #snk leaks #snk 139 leaks #levimika #mikalevi

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axwalker · 4 years ago

Text

AFTER

I’ve never liked the way PB wrote everything that happens after Drake gets shot trying to save MC --they don’t even go to a freaking hospital!!

I think this might have been done before but I wanted to share my own version of it. I hope you enjoy it!

This is my contribution for DAY THREE OF TRRAW hosted by @trraw

This ONE-SHOT belongs to The Walker’s universe but it’s a stand alone. MASTERLIST HERE.

I hope you enjoy it!

Book and Pairing: TRR Drake x Alexis (MC)

Warnings: Shooting, coma.

ALL MY FICS ARE +18.

Words: 2,868

Disclaimer: All characters and some dialogues and places belong to Pixelberry.

Tagging perma:

@mskaneko @drakexwillow @burnsoslow @thegreentwin @kat-tia801

@gkittylove99 @no-one-u-know @twinkle-320 @forallthatitsworth @marshmallowsandfire @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @princessleac1

@twinkleallnight @tinkie1973 @moneyfordiamonds

DRAKE

My lungs draw in air, bringing consciousness and chaos rushing back to me. And pain. So much pain. My vision is blurred as if I’m underwater. I can’t move; I can hardly take some shallow breaths. Gunshots, screams, and fire sound through the ringing in my ears. My left arm is heavy with deep, piercing pain. I feel dizzy and disoriented, but I have to make sure where Lexie is. She has to be alive. I remember the gun pointing at her, and terror, as I’ve never known, invades me, carrying adrenaline through my blood.

“Lexie,” I croak. “Lexie!” My gaze darts all over, assessing. A pool of blood, seeping into the floor below me, freeze my veins. Please, God, don’t let it be her. I struggle to sit up, but the sharp pain stops me. Trembling, I turn to see the hole in the skin of my forearm, up to my elbow. The screaming starts again closer, and I realize that Alexis is not hurt.

My relief is short-lived when I realize Alexis’s crying inconsolably. She seems desperate; her hands are drenched, red. Her dress is soaked up in blood. For a minute, I panic again, but I realize it is my own blood she has all over her. I sigh, relieved, and try to tell her that I’m in fine, but I can’t get the words out of my mouth.

I struggle to stand up, but I feel someone or something trying to keep me pinned where I am. It’s not Lexie because she’s kneeled next to me. Telling me … something. I can’t hear her. Her hands go from my face to my chest and my hair. Huge tears are rolling from her eyes. Suddenly, her soothing touch stop, and I want to scream. Leo is holding her; she seems so broken. I want to take her in my arms, tell her that I’ll be okay, but I can’t speak.

Finally, my eyes fall shut under a wave of dizziness that I can’t avoid. The last thing I see is Alexis’s sad face before blackness comes down.

A thousand stars twinkle in the sky; I’m lying in the middle of the woods. Lexie is next to me, her small hand engulfed by mine. Despite the frosty wind, I feel warm, content for the first time in a long time. I want to stay here, like this, with her forever.

Suddenly, we’re back at the palace, and she’s in my arms. We’re swaying slowly at the rhythm of an old waltz, and I realize it’s the happiest moment of my life. Just moments ago, her warm body was writhing, moaning beneath me. She was mine.

Now she’s here. With me. You have to wake up now, she says. Please, Drake. Wake up, my love. I don’t understand what she’s talking about; I try to hold on to her, but she keeps crying and begging for me to wake up over and over again.

I try to tell her I’m here with her. That I’m never going to let her go. That I regret every second, we wasted because I refused to listen to her. That I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together. But I can’t. My eyes refuse to open, my brain to cooperate. She’s so close and so far away from me. This is punishment for chasing after what wasn’t mine. For using Liam’s trust and deceive him. For hurting Lexie. I hurt the woman I loved when I swore I’d never do that. Never love anyone. I shouldn’t love anyone. I know I don’t deserve her, but I just couldn’t help myself.

Her tornado-like personality sweeps people up, and it was so powerful, it drew me in so that I wanted to kiss her and touch her and make her mine.

Please baby, please, stop crying.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My eyes flare open, and my body spasms. Terror surge through my veins as I slam into the floor. Not the floor, a bed. My brain registers white sheets, fluorescent lights, incessant beeping—a sharp pain sliced through me. I try to scream, but something in my mouth and down my throat pushed air into my lungs instead.

“Drake.” A voice in my head. Soft and sweet. “Drake, look at me.” The voice is outside my head. I reach for it. I need it more than air. Lexie? I try to turn my head.

“Easy, now.” A man’s voice. Authoritative. Hands push me down at the shoulders. “Calm down,” he says. “That’s it. Don’t fight the machine.”

I try to inhale and exhale, but I can’t control my breathing. All the while, fluorescent lights come and go—my eyes. I’m opening and closing my eyes. I’m in here. This is me. The pain. Holy fuck, the pain. A red-hot sledgehammer to my right arm.

“Drake,” Lex says. Warm fingers fold around my hand. “It’s all right. Try to lie back.” Slowly my brain put things together. A bed with white sheets and beeping machines. This is a hospital. And Lex is here.

“Lexie,” I say. Or try to. The fucking tube in my mouth and down my throat blocks the word. I gag as more air pushes in.

“I’ll call the attending,” says the man, who must be a nurse. “Just stay with him. Keep talking and help get him oriented.”

Stay with me, my Lexie. Forever. My eyes fight hard to stay open. A plastic tube and white tape obscure my vision, but through and around it, I see her. Standing over me with brown hair falling down around her shoulders. Like a beautiful, peaceful dream after a long, dark night.

“Hey, Walker,” she says softly. Her little fingers intertwine with mine; her other palm runs smoothly over my forehead. “You’re all right. Just listen to my voice.” Her touch is so soft on my head. “You’re on a ventilator. Okay? It’s breathing for you. Try not to fight it. I’m right here. Keep listening to me. The respirator is to help you breathe until you come out of the sedation. That’s all.”

I wink again, unable to do anything else. Lexie reaches out her hand and caresses my cheek. I move my eyes and see Li and Savvy behind her.

My eyes fall shut in intense relief. My best friend and my little sister. Memories of safety and love from my childhood play on fast-forward—scraped knees and the time I fell from the treehouse. They were there for me. Over their shoulders, I see Bertrand and Max smiling. Savvy is here, Lexie is here, and Liam is all right. Everyone is.

“Hey there, Drake.” A tall man in a white coat is at the side of the bed now. “I’m Dr. Lahela. Let’s take a look at you…” He shines a light in my eyes. “You’re a very lucky man, Mr. Walker. You’ll need some physical therapy for your arm, but you’ll be fine.”

Alexis takes my hand and squeezes it. “You better never scare me like this again, Walker.” Her voice finally breaks. “I can’t live without you, Drake. Please, don’t do that again.”

I can’t talk, so I look at her trying to compel everything I feel for her. I treasure every shy smile, every kiss, every single laugh. I love her, and I don’t care if I deserve it or not. I’m never letting her go.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One Year Later

The day is finally here. I’m not one for nerves and that bullshit, but there’s no ignoring the tightness in my chest as I walk down the street. Even though I have the address memorized, I recheck my phone to verify that I’m at the correct address. It’s there in my text messages, the location Lexie sent.

We’ve been together for more than a year, and sometimes I’ll get texts like these. Lexie loves to be spontaneous. I never know if I’m going to show up and find some dark bar where she wants me to fuck her in the bathroom… or if it’s going to be this really fucking cool bookshop where we’ll linger for hours, talking about books before she eventually buys both our favorites.

Those dates mean everything to me. I love the sex—fucking love the sex—but Lexie is a world into herself, and I could spend the rest of my life exploring her and still not know everything there is to know.

Today’s different, though

It’s not just any day, not just any date.

It’s been a year since the attack.

I touch the box in my pocket, take a deep breath, and push through the doors and into the restaurant. After a quick word, the hostess leads me up a set of stairs to the roof. I shake my head as I look around.

Lexie does nothing halfway.

The roof isn’t huge, but there is a gazebo in the middle that I’m nearly certain isn’t there during regular events. A small bar has been placed in the side, and the rest of the space is cleared of tables and chairs. It will just be us tonight.

She’s leaning against the railing and looking out across Portavira. We’re high enough to have a decent view of the sea. Personally, I only have eyes for her.

She’s wearing flat sandals and a stunning red dress; it clings to her body all the way down to her knees before flaring out. I will never know how she walks in the damn thing, but I appreciate how good her ass and tiny waist look on it as I walk over and lean against the railing next to her.

“I’m surprised you didn’t have me jumping on a plane to find you this time.” Something she occasionally does. She loves to travel. And I love her: ‘Surprise, I’m in Athenes, come get me’ texts.

“I did consider it.” Lexie turns to me with a grin. Her mouth is painted a crimson shade identical to her dress. Fuck, the woman is so beautiful it makes my chest ache. Not just her face. All of her, inside and out. She bumps me with her elbow. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I love you.”

Her sexy grin turns into a full on smile that lights up her entire face. “You’re such a guy. All it takes is a short dress and a red lipstick.” She teases.

“It’s not that.” I take her hand and tug her toward the table set up for us. As we walk over, I study her expression. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine.” Lexie catches my raised eyebrow and sighs. “Look, this day is never going to be easy for me. I thought I lost you, but I promise I’m okay.” She hesitates. “How are you holding up?”

I answer her honestly. “I’m fine. I know this was a horrible day to you, but I barely remember anything.” I take Lexie’s hand and brush my mouth over her knuckles. “So, why’d you pick this place?”

She looks around, the light wind pulling at her silky hair. “It’s romantic.” She turns her hand in mine to lace our fingers together. “We’ve both been working a lot lately. While I fully intend to take you home, so you fuck my brains out, I thought it’d be a nice change of pace to have a nice Italian dinner first.” She smiles. “And this place has a cool seasonal menu.”

The bartender delivers drinks that Lexie must have ordered for us—both Macallan’s 18 years. We order and then sip in silence for a few moments. I shift the ring box, an ever-present reminder of what I plan for tonight at the beach.

I’m not used to feeling off-center. I sure as fuck have wasted too much time doubting myself. I do not doubt that I love her wildly. That she’s the woman for me. It’s her answer that frightens me.

And I’m still not sure tonight is the night for this.

“Drake.”

I realize I’ve been spacing out and grimace. “Sorry. What did you say?”

Lexie leans in, her expression going playful. “I said, ‘Is that a box in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?’”

I follow her gaze down to where the square is very plainly in view pressed against the slacks of my front pocket. “Well, fuck.”

Her eyes go wide. “Seriously? It’s not earrings or a bracelet or something?”

I pull the box out of my pocket, and I’m fucked up to realize my palms are sweaty. Jesus fuck, this is not how I planned to do this, but here we are. “It’s not earrings or a necklace, no.” I set the box on the table between us and take a breath. This might not be how I planned to go about things, but that doesn’t mean a fucking thing. Very little goes to plan when Lexie is involved; that’s one of the things I love most about her. I’ve learned to roll with the punches.

I take Lexie’s hands and hold her gaze.

“That night, I was terrified. When I saw that gun aimed at you, I thought I might lose you. And I can’t live without you.” Fuck, this is harder than I expected. It’s not the opening myself up that’s so challenging. No subject is off-limits with us. It’s more that I want the perfect words to describe how I feel, and I’m shit at words. I’m not a damn poet. I’m just me, and just me will have to be perfect because she deserves nothing less than perfection. “This year has been really fucking good, O’Brien. Every time I think I can’t love you more, you go and prove me wrong. I love the adventures and shit we get into together, just like I love the long afternoons we spend with takeout and movies and board games and shit. And the lazy mornings in bed. I love it all.”

I release one of her hands to open the box. It’s an heirloom, but it meant so much to my grandmother, I hope she likes it. Lexie deserves perfect. It’s a single ruby against a simple setting that lets the gem stand on its own.

Lexie stares at it for a long moment and then at me. “Drake, that’s so perfect.”

“You’re one hell of a woman.” I don’t move, barely breathe. “Will you marry me, Lexie?”

She screams and throws herself at me. “Of course I will.” Her lower lip quivers a little. “Damn, you’re going to make me cry after saying all those sweet, perfect things.” She holds still while I slip the ring onto her finger. She holds it up, smiling at the way it glints in the city lights. “A perfect fit.”

“Just like us.”

“Just like us,” she repeats. A heartbeat passes. Another as I try to rein myself. Then I lean down, take her face in my hands, and kiss her desperately like she’s the last thing I’ll ever taste. I kiss her with the power surging through my veins, with all the strength of my desire and happiness over this day. With all the want that’s burning through me—want of more than just her body. Everything I long for, everything I hold precious, I pour into her mouth—and my Lex responds beautifully. Her arms twine around my waist, pressing her soft belly against me. I’m so damn hard, I just want to push myself against her until she spreads her legs and lets me in. Instead, I slide my tongue into the softness of her mouth. She gasps. It makes me smile around her lips, knowing that I can make my girl gasp with just a slip of my tongue. I explore her slowly, wrapping an arm around her back and cradling her head, so when I thrust my tongue into the hot, soft sanctuary of her sexy mouth, she doesn’t have to work to stay upright. I kiss her soft and slow, and longer, harder until she’s gasping and my hand is slowly caressing her neck. Her back is pressed against the rail, and I’m thrusting against her. She’s rocking against me, too, and I stop. I see the waitress coming. We’ll have to wait a few hours until we’re together at the cabin, and I have time to explore every inch of her. Even if I know, it will never be enough.

She’s blushing, and it’s so fucking adorable I want to kiss her all over again. “You know, for a guy who says you’re not good with words, that was one hell of a proposal.”

“I just love you so fucking much, baby.”

“That’s why I’m going to marry you.” She hooks the back of my neck and brings me down for a kiss.

Lexie leans back and meets my gaze. “I don’t suppose you’re thinking what I’m thinking?”

“That we should pay the tab, get the food to go, and take it back to our cabin.”

“A man after my own heart.” She kisses me again, sweeter this time. “I love you, Drake Walker. So fucking much. I can’t wait to marry you.”

#axwalker writes #trraw2021 #drake walker #drake x lexie #drake walker fanfic #trr fanfic #tw shooting #drake x mc #drake walker x mc

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dressesoftheendless · 2 years ago

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Masterpost

Noteworthy: I am a very busy person. This blog isn't abandoned! It's just on the back burner while I'm in school. (Still not abandoned as of April 2024!)

Current Project

Butterfly Dress For Gualt

Heads Up

Couple content warnings for the blog-- I don't tag for spoilers, and I'll reblog NSFW things sometimes. I will also reblog posts which cover topics such as those in the episode Calliope, and they will not be tagged as such. Curate your own internet experience and remember that the block feature is your friend. Keep yourselves safe.

FAQs

How long do the dresses take? Months. Or weeks. Or years. I'm a full time college student who also works over 20 hours, so progress is slow.

What kind of machines do I use? I have two Singer sewing machines, a Quantum Stylist 9960 and a Heavy Duty 4452. I also have a 1043D Brother serger.

Other questions about sewing? For the love of all that is and isn't holy, please talk sewing shop with me. Feel free to DM or send in an ask, and I'm happy to blabber.

Thoughts on The Sandman? Please talk to me, I love this show, I have become obsessed, help, etc.

[Questions about ships, etc.] Eh. I don't really care. Good art is good art, and the best way I can support content creators on Tumblr (again, see the note about my status as a college student working their ass off) is to reblog.

Have I read the comics? I am in the process! I'm checking them out from the library at my school, and I'm behind someone else who takes their sweet time reading. Which is fair. But still.

Will I make dresses based on the comics? For my own sanity I'm gonna say probably not Who am I kidding absolutely, yes.

Favorite Sandman character? Easily Rose Walker. No contest. I adore the Corinthian and Matthew, and as someone who's worked in libraries for nearly a decade Luciene will always have space in my heart, and GOD do I love the trope of a Death character being kind and also Death is so freaking pretty, but. Rose Walker for the win.

Favorite scene from the show? When Rose and Dream visit Jed's dream and Jed claims to be the Sandman, and Dream makes that little-- the smile and the chuckle and the just the "You're the Sandman" like he's so flattered and then the implications that Gualt found this child who was being abused and wanted to give him a safe space where he was a hero and the hero she made him into was basically her dad her creator and I'm just???? Soft?????

Other Project Ideas I'd Love To Make But Need To Put More Work Into Before Calling Them Actual Projects

Helm Made From The Skull Of A Long Dead God

A Ruby Which Makes Nightmares Come True

A Black Bag Of Sand Which Cannot Be Opened

Lucienne Is A Badass

Fiddler's Green

The Corinthian's Get Laid Dress

Death Goes to a Party

A New Dream

About Me :D

My favorite color is turquoise. I think purple is objectively the best color, but turquoise is a personal preference.

I prefer to be cold than warm, because I can add layers when I'm cold, but can't do much if I'm too hot.

I'm a hot chocolate person over coffee or tea. I also adore dogs but solidly prefer cats.

#pinned post #the sandman #dream of the endless #morpheus #the corinthian #rose walker #lucienne the librarian #fiddlers green #death of the endless #sandman cosplay

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meganlpie · 4 years ago

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No Magical Solution

Based on this request: Hey. I saw your requests were open for Harry Potter and was wondering if you’d be able to do a James potter x reader where the reader is on their period with really bad cramps and mood swings. Maybe they can’t take normal magic remedies because of a bet? Or however you wanna get round it xx

Here you go, lovelies! All HP Characters belong to J.K.Rowling.

Warnings: Periods, Cramps, Fluff4

Pairings: James Potter x uterus owning!reader

This would have been hilarious if you weren't in so much pain. Who would have thought that the fabulous James Potter would freak out over his loved one suffering with cramps? Ever since you'd gotten your first period, the cramps had been horrendous. There were some days you could hardly walk. When school was in session, you would simply go and see Madame Pomfrey. And when on holiday, your mother had remedies for you that she kept hidden away from your siblings and guests so they wouldn't use them. Not that James knew that.

So, when James' parents agreed that he could come visit you, he had no idea what to do when you suddenly doubled over in pain. "What?! Y/N, are you okay?!" You shot him a glare. Obviously you were not okay. "No, James. I am not. I feel like there are a thousand knives stabbing me in the stomach and back at the same time!"

James merely stared at you for moment, blinking as his brain worked to catch up. He wasn't stupid by any means, but he wasn't used to seeing this. His mother never had this problem. "Y-You do know that you're a magical person, right? You could make it stop."

"An underage magical person, James! No magic outside school, you know that!" He at least had the decency to look sheepish. You groaned as the pain doubled up again. "Merlin, this hurts!" James' eyes widened in panic again. "What do I do? Tell me what to do." All his life, James' problems like that had been able to be solved by magic. He had no clue what to do, especially as your mother wasn't in at the time and your father didn't want to hear about this kind of thing.

You gave him a smile through the pain. "I just have to wait until my mum gets home. She has what I need. For now, could you…could you get me something warm for my stomach? And maybe just lie with me for a bit?" James was up in an instant, running through the house looking for something to help you. You laughed in spite of yourself because the James you had first met at Hogwarts would never had done something so sweet. But then, you started dating and he turned into a giant softie. Just thinking about it made you want to cry.

"Is the pain really that bad?" You glanced up when he came back into the room. You let out a sniffle, nodding. James was back at your side in seconds. You let the tears flow as you placed the hot water bottle against your stomach. James laid back, gathering you in his arms. He was stiff at first and you knew your tears were making him uncomfortable so you tried to stop them. You thought of your favorite memories with him and began laughing.

"Uh, is this one of those mood swings I've heard about?" You glared at him, prompting him to close his mouth. You snuggled as close to him as you could, relishing in the warmth of him. After only a few moments, you felt your eyes growing heavy and despite the pain still shooting through you, you found yourself drifting off to sleep.

You didn't know how long you slept for, but you woke up hearing voices. "That bad, huh?" you heard your mother's voice ask before feeling James nod against the top of your head. "Yeah. I didn't know what to do." A soft laugh escaped your mother's lips. "Understandable. Y/N's father didn't either. Before learning all the remedies I know now, mine was just as bad. I'll get Y/N something when they wake up. Thank you for looking after my child today, James. It's hard to believe you're the same young man we met all those years ago."

You felt the heat hit James' body as he blushed. "Thank Y/N for that." Nothing was said for a moment, then your mother replied, "I'll let you get back to your nap. Tell Y/N to come find me when you wake up if the pain is still bad." With that, your mother left the room. You felt James press a kiss to the top of your head as sleep threatened to pull you under again.

The next time you woke, it was to your mother's voice telling you that it was time for supper. With a yawn, you sat up and stretched. The pain your abdomen had subsided a little, but not completely. Your mother seemed to know that this would happen as she handed you one of her potions to drink and left the room.

After downing it, you shook James to wake him up. He shot up and nearly knocked your heads together in the process. You giggled a little. His glasses had come off one ear and his black hair was even more unruly than usual. He righted his glasses and smiled at you. "Feeling better then?" You nodded as you wrapped your arms around him. "Thanks for helping me." James tightened his arms and kissed the side of your head. "Any time. Now come on! I can smell the food. Let's eat!" You laughed again when he pulled you up and practically ran for the kitchen.

(a/n: I hope you like it!)

Forever Tags: @fizzyxcustard @brewsthespirit-blog @sirkekselord @aikibriarrose @lady-of-lies @esoltis280 @stories-by-shanna-p @motleymoose

Harry Potter Tags are OPEN!

#j.k. rowling #marauder's era #james potter #james potter x reader #james x reader #tw: periods #tw: period cramps

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imo-chan-imagines · 4 years ago

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『 As your boyfriend | FKBU Headcanons 』

Characters: female!reader, Kambe Daisuke, Kato Haru

Tags/warnings: Fugou Keiji Balance: Unlimited (anime), 18+, strong sexual references, fluff, angst, Haru's PTSD, headcanons, daddy kink and cockwarming (kind of?) for Daisuke, breeding kink for Haru *coughing intensifies*

⚠️ 18+ CONTENT! MINORS: PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT ⚠️

A/N: Felt like writing some more for these boys because ~holy shit~ do I love them, and I maybe went a teensy bit overboard. Oopsie! 🤭 But anyway, have y'all seen episode 6?! Let's freaking gooo! (No spoilers, don't worry) Thanks for reading! Enjoy! Imo~

Kambe Daisuke

First up: daddy kink. I know it, you know it, we all know it. So let's not beat about the bush

Quite dominant and firm with you (see: daddy kink)

But he absolutely loves spoiling you

Expensive gifts, like one-of-a-kind necklaces, seductive perfumes, satin dresses, lace underwear, etc.

He loves dressing you up and showing you off

But he also loves spoiling you in bed more like ruining, I am deceased

A lot of butt grabbing in public hnng

He likes it when you don't wear any underwear because it makes for easier quickies like bent over the sink in the bathroom at his favourite club

He likes you sitting on his lap in front of people, too aye papi

American gangster vibes, honestly

He's not really one for soppy, romantic PDA, but he loves you letting people know that it's him you want and nobody else

He loves the look on people's faces when you call him 'daddy' that grin will be the death of me

Especially the look on Haru's face, lmao. He blushed like a tomato and couldn't speak a coherent sentence for a whole hour

Hickeys. Lots and lots of hickeys. And don't even think about covering them up

Daisuke loves sleeping naked and has a habit of walking around the house in just a towel when he gets out the shower fight me

He's also completely oblivious to what it does to you

A MASSIVE bed with super soft, satiny sheets. They feel like clouds uwu

He gets HEUSC to remind him of important dates, like birthdays, anniversaries, etc.

Date Ideas: Unlimited sorry, not sorry

From fancy restaurants, to exclusive movie premieres, to late night helicopter rides to the other side of the country, Daisuke can and will pay for anything if it makes you happy

He also lets you introduce him to lots of new things, like trying different kinds of street food on dates, going rowing on the pond in the park, having a go at karaoke, renting bikes and cycling round the city, going hiking at the nearest nature reserve or wilderness, etc. adorable

He's like a curious kitten when he's trying new things, putting a lot of trust in you to guide him through it

He always looks perfect in the photos you snap, even the ones he wasn't aware you were taking, and it's a lowkey frustrating that he nearly always looks prettier than you

But it's not his fault, so you'll only pout for a little while

His face is pretty hard to read most of the time, but you eventually get used to it and pick up on all his little mood indicators

His ears move when he's happy, and you can't convince me otherwise

He'll hold your heels for you when your feet hurt on a night out

He smells of leather and sandalwood, and his kisses taste of expensive whisky and cigars

He loves it when you bite his lower lip while making out

He's kind of possessive, but in a protective way

He never thought of himself as a particularly jealous person, until one night he came back to the bar and saw some other guy hitting on you the attention was definitely unwanted on your side

It made his blood boil – clenched fists, piercing glare if looks could kill

But he managed to stay calm and maturely tell the guy to get lost, with his arm snaking round your waist

Daisuke made it very clear that it wasn't you he didn't trust. It was that he didn't trust that guy – or any guy, for that matter

His favourite ~position~ is on a table or other surface with your legs over his shoulders

He's a god at eating you out

He's a god at everything in the bedroom, tbh

Saint Laurent condoms, because he's that fucking extra I'm screaming

His hair always falls out of place when you're fucking it's so hot and cute, wtf

It's a lot of glitz and glamour on the surface, but when it's just the two of you, you know just how much you mean to him

The King of Aftercare™

He used to suck at aftercare until he properly tried it. Then he realised that he needed it as much as you did le cry

Back rubs, forehead kisses, playing with your hair, soft whispers in your ear

He holds you so tightly that it gets hard to breathe, and you can feel his heart beating hard against your back

Sometimes he likes to just stay inside you after finishing

He enjoys the feeling of you around him, and honestly, you like just feeling him being inside you cockwarming, kind of?

Soft little nuzzles with his nose in his sleep even better when he's fallen asleep while still inside you

He's not perfect, but being with you makes him try to be better

Help, my heart's so full 🤧

Kato Haru

This man is a sweetie pie, honestly

Not just boyfriend material, but husband material put a ring on it, hun

Lots of home cooking, and it all tastes so good you honestly believe he could just quit being a cop and open up a restaurant

He loves cooking with you, too. It's fun bonding time

Sometimes he stands behind you and guides your hands etc. it sometimes goes a little further, if ya know what I'm saying 👀

Knows how to do all the chores and housework, and actually does his share look at my practical hubby

Random pillow fights that turn into cuddle sessions

He talks in his sleep waaahh, so cute

Sometimes it's utter nonsense, like 'Don't let the donuts escape'

Other times, it's things like, 'I love Y/N so much,' or 'Let's have babies,' while he's holding onto you, and you just melt

Spooning. So much spooning

Lots of budget date ideas, like building pillow forts, watching sunsets and stargazing from the balcony, going for hikes and runs together, going for picnics, feeding ducks at the pond, etc.

One time, a duck chased him around the pond because he had the bread, and he had to run for 20 minutes before it gave up thank God for all that cardio

The Master of Flat Pack Furniture™ – because he takes his time and actually reads the instructions

Daisuke had a ™ so Haru needed one too

Takes good care of you on your period and actually knows about different sanitary products

He smells really fresh and clean, like Imperial Leather soap and air-dried laundry as long as he hasn't been on a stakeout, lmao

He loves taking showers with you, but like, actual showers

The first and only time you had shower sex was hot and steamy until:

1. You realised that water does not a good lube make and 2. He slipped and accidentally shoved his dick in your ass instead

You fully passed out, and he was so frantic that he bundled you into the car and drove you straight to the ER you were in just a towel, might I add

You both look back on it now and laugh, but he was genuinely scared

Shower sex = never again

But he loves it when you straddle his lap and start grinding on him bonus points if you kiss his neck and run your hands through his hair

He's a pretty vanilla boy when it comes to sex, preferring positions like missionary and cowgirl, and liking a fairly even balance of power

He got super embarrassed and flustered when he finally mustered up the courage to suggest having car sex

And then even more embarrassed and flustered when you actually ended up doing it

He was blushing so hard the entire time and came really quickly, which only added to his embarrassment but you thought it was cute

He has really sensitive nipples which you use to your advantage

He absolutely loves hates it when you send him nudes or try and sext him while he's at work, because he gets a massive boner and will either have to live with it and probably get laughed at by those goobs in the office, or deal with it in the bathroom, which feels wrong to him on so many levels

Doesn't really stop you sending them though, because whenever you do, he comes home and fucks you really well

One thing that's not vanilla about him is how much he likes cumming inside you breeding kink, welcome to the party. Please take a seat

He didn't tell you about it for the longest time because he was embarrassed about it and was afraid you'd think it was gross or something please cum in me, sir

He was so relieved when you were understanding about it and open to the idea of indulging him

But he genuinely really wants kids some day he'd be a great dad

His PTSD doesn't stop him being a good boyfriend, but he's convinced that it does

Most days he seems okay, like he's over it, even

But sometimes you'll wake up in the middle of the night and find him curled up in the bath, shaking and crying into his knees my poor baby, I can't

Excuse me while I go and cry into my pillow for a while

You're his safety net

When he feels like he's drowning, you keep his head above the water until the waves eventually calm and recede, and he can breathe again

He hates putting so much on your shoulders

But you swear to him that you wouldn't want to be doing anything else, and that you're not going anywhere

This got so angsty, my heart can't take this 😭

#imo chan imagines #fugou keiji balance: unlimited #fkbu #the millionaire detective balance: unlimited #fkbu headcanons #fkbu x reader #kambe daisuke #kato haru #kambe daisuke x reader #kato haru x reader #fkbu smut #fkbu fluff #fkbu angst #i love them so much #one does not simply choose between daisuke and haru #both? both is good

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crystaljins · 4 years ago

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River lead me home | 09 FINAL

Characters: Kim Seokjin x reader

Word count: 5k

Synopsis: Ever since coming to the human realm when you were child, nothing seems to fit, and this was just supposed to be a simple roadtrip to help you find yourself.

Is that too much to ask for?

Spin-off to A long journey home

Rating: Teens

Genre: Adventure, fluff, angst

Notes: Ahhh. We’re finally here. At the ending.

I feel like so much happened since I started writing this fic. I’ve been through so many ups and downs, and so have my characters. And you guys are probably the same; I wonder what adventures you guys went on as I posted this? I hope they were fun ones.

Anyway, thank you for sticking around for this long journey home. I hope you enjoy the final chapter, and I hope you enjoyed following these guys on their adventure.

Till next time, my loves.

Tags: @blue1928 @veeparkersstuff

Masterlist

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 FINAL

It’s a long journey home. The three of you stay with the mice long enough to see the first of the recovered victims poke their little noses out of their burrows. The mayor, a harried, round little mouse with hay coloured fur and absurdly long whiskers, cannot express his gratitude deeply enough, other than to procure the three of you a comfortable stay in a nearby inn.

The journey back is only slightly less fraught with danger. The Saishtas think the two of you are dead, and not long after you part ways with the mice, new begins to circulate in the local areas that the might, evil Saishta queen has died and that her kingdom has fallen into disarray. You come across one or two of the insidious lizardpeoples after that but none of them approach or acknowledge you. Why bother, when they failed to save their queen?

After hearing that news, it’s more of a relaxed journey. You all head on from town to town, purchasing supplies and another bed roll for Jungkook. Jin is strangely eager to spend what little currency you have on the most comfortable bedroll he can find, and when Jungkook suggests he just continues to share in the interest of saving funds, Jin nearly has an aneurysm.

Jin’s behaviour is probably the strangest part of the journey. He’s not cold or standoffish like he normally is when having a crisis, but he’s definitely gentler. More reserved but also warmer. It’s not unwelcome. In fact, you can’t help but wonder. If the war had never come, would this be the life you had with Jin? Endless adventures amongst the thrilling dangers of your home realm?

You bring the thought up to Jin and Jungkook one night, while the three of you huddle together over a fire, snacking on some of the dried meats you’d purchased from the last town.

Jin looks surprised at the thought.

“I’ve always thought it would be you and Taehyung going on the big adventures.” He points out. “The two of you were never able to hold still, even for a moment.” His smile is warm and fond as he recalls your childhood.

“You’d have been dragged along.” Jungkook counters through a particularly chewy mouthful. “You’d probably be married to (Y/N) and forced to follow her around keep her out of trouble.”

Oddly, you expect Jin to flush, or protest, or attempt to strangle Jungkook. You certainly feel a bit flushed at the thought. But Jin is unfazed- he merely offers a secretive smile and tilts his head curiously at you. You couldn’t decipher the look if you tried, but it has your throat feeling tight.

You change the conversation topic after that, but it’s not the only way that Jin has changed. A few days later, the three of you are attempting to cross a little slippery creek when you lose your footing.

You stumble over a few rocks and land on your hands and knees. Even in the deepest part of the creek it only comes up to your mid-thighs when you are on all fours.

Jin skids to a stop beside you, crouching before you in the water. He doesn’t seem to care about the way his clothes become soaked.

“Are you hurt?” He demands. You take stock of your injuries- a scraped knee, a bruised shin, the palms of your hands rubbed raw. Nothing that won’t be gone in an hour or two.

“I’m fine.” You reassure him.

He nods awkwardly for a moment and then offers “I could kiss it better?”

It takes you a few blinks to comprehend his words, and even then, it makes you re-evaluate the severity of your injuries.

“What?” You demand, shocked. He shrugs and looks away.

“Like when we were kids. I could kiss it better. You used to always refuse to stop crying until I kissed you. We could try that again.” He offers nonchalantly. You must have hit your head. It’s the only explanation. You can only stare, your mouth dropped into an “o”.

“I guess that’s a no.” Jin finally says, oddly sulky in the way he says it. “Just thought I’d offer.”

You wish you could say that it’s the strangest of his behaviour, but it’s not. The rest of the journey goes like that- if you didn’t know any better, you’d almost think Jin was flirting. Albeit, in a weirdly awkward, tentative way. Even Jungkook notices it.

“Do you think he’s finally gone mad? Maybe the extreme social media detox has made all his brain cells shrivel up and die.” Jungkook whispers conspiratorially one night while the two of you wonder a small village that is throwing a little festival. Colourful lanterns line the streets and the various creatures that inhabit the village are dressed in bright colours. Jin had decided to stay back at the inn but the two of you had wanted to explore.

“It’s the only logical explanation.” You concede, as much as it physically pains you to agree with Jungkook in anything.

“All I have to say is, if this is how he flirts I have no idea how he gets so many dates.” Jungkook laments, and your eyes widen.

“Stop.” You laugh. “He’s not flirting. It’s Jin. He thinks of me like an unwanted houseplant.”

“What if he didn’t, though?” Jungkook asks suddenly. His gaze is probing, and the mood is oddly serious for what you thought was a joking conversation.

“What?” You ask, caught off-guard.

“What if he’s actually flirting? Hypothetically. What would you do?” He questions.

You go silent, as you contemplate your answer. Honestly, you’re not stupid enough to entertain the thought of Jin liking you back. But something about Jungkook’s earnestness has you genuinely considering it.

“I don’t know.” You finally admit. You sigh, suddenly feeling tired.

“Can I ask you something?” Jungkook asks, tentative and almost gentle. He tilts his head curiously. “Do you like him?”

The question startles you. It feels like it’s been so long since you came to term with your feelings that you forgot not everyone else was aware of your revelation. Honestly, even to yourself it had filtered to the back of your mind. An unchanging fact, rarely acknowledged. The sky is blue. Jungkook is annoying. You are in love with Kim Seokjin.

“I do.” You finally admit. You’re reaching the end of the street where most of the festivities are taking place- the crowd is thinning and more distance separates each lantern.

“Then, if he were flirting... wouldn’t the answer be that you’d date him?” Jungkook asks. He’s pulling a face like he’s working out a rather complex maths problem. “Why don’t you know what you’d do?”

The two of you settle at the end of the street. Roughly hewn chairs are scattered randomly across the little square. In the corner, a large, greyish being snoozes, and a small group of little humanoid trees laugh over something and chatter in a foreign language.

“I feel like there’s too much to sort out first. Like... to date him I’d have to be better. I’d have to have a job. And I’d have to have apologised to my mother. I’d need to stop spongeing off the people around me. And maybe live out of home. Be a proper, human adult.” You list. “The me that I am now... I couldn’t date Jin. I’m not... I’m not...”

“Good enough?” Jungkook finishes the words gently. There’s a sad look in his eyes, and it surprises you.

You nod.

“Yeah.” You admit, and your voice is oddly choked. It’s weird- you had thought you were at peace with your feelings. You were meant to be happy with whatever scraps of affection Jin threw your way. But you’re not- there’s a deep, miserable ache in your chest that won’t go away.

Jungkook uses his sleeves to dab at the tears you didn’t even know were slipping down your cheeks.

“For what it’s worth,” Jungkook offers. “Jin doesn’t actually care about that stuff. The only reason he makes a big deal out of it is because he thinks you’ll be happy if all that stuff works out.” He tells you. “And hey. Someone once told me that the best things are the scariest to start- maybe this is one of those times?”

After that, you call it a night, and Jungkook doesn’t bring the topic up again. But you can’t forget his words. The closer to the portal the three of you draw, the more the ache in your chest grows; the closer you get to going back to normal life. What happens to you and Jin when you step back into the human realm?

What if Jungkook’s words are true? Would you... would you have to return to normal? Could you have more? Is it stupid that a part of your stupid, traitorous heart longed for it to be true with each new step towards home?

There’s a surefire way to find out; if you ask him. But you can’t. The words die in your throat every time you even consider it. You remember how he freaked out when Jungkook suggested it earlier on the trip. He likely already knows your feelings despite your denial, and it is only your constant denial otherwise that allows the two of you to exist in this strange limbo. If you stopped denying them, he’d have to address those feelings and then what? It would be back to square one- the avoidance and awkwardness as you cling to the shambles of your friendship.

You can’t go back to that- you’ve fought so hard to fix what is between you, to salvage things. Would it be worth risking it, just in the hopes that you and Jin could be more?

The night before you reach the portal, all the nerves and worries you have build up to the point that you find yourself gazing up listlessly at the canopy overhead. The branches interlace and you can perk glimpses of the stars beyond. This is the last glimpse you will get of these stars. You have already decided you won’t come back here. It’s time to stop looking back and only look forward.

Yet, despite your resolve, despite everything, sleep evades you. Tomorrow, real life awaits. An existential sort of dread has gripped you.

With a sigh, you sit up. To your right, Jungkook has curled into a tight ball as he peacefully rests. But to your surprise, Jin’s bedroll is empty. You’re surprised you didn’t hear him move.

It doesn’t take long to locate him. Only a short distance away, where the vegetation is a bit lighter and a clear patch of sky shimmers overhead, Jin lounges peacefully. He gazes thoughtfully up at the sky overhead as the starlight gilds his face in breathtaking silver.

Wordlessly, you step towards him. A twig snaps beneath your feet and Jin whirls around in surprise. When he spots you, he smiles and gentle pats the open space beside him.

Awkwardly, you settle beside him, hugging your knees to your chest.

“Couldn’t sleep?” He questions, his eyes closed serenely. The soft sound of wind and distant sounds of wildlife filters through the night air.

“Yeah,” you admit, your voice heavy with a sigh. He blinks open one eye to peer curiously at you. It’s the most relaxed and open you’ve seen him in a long time. “What about you? You couldn’t sleep either?”

Jin shrugs.

“I could have.” He informs you. “But I thought I’d enjoy my last night in this realm instead.”

You raise an eyebrow at that. Jin has made it clear throughout the trip that this journey has been anything but enjoyable.

“Enjoy?” You say, only slightly incredulous. He nods and opens both eyes to stare up the sky.

“I’m as shocked as you.” He concedes. “This place has only ever meant bad things to me. It’s why I could never understand your fixation with it.”

You grimace.

“I kind of get it now, though.” He admits, before you can complain to him. “It’s a pretty beautiful place.”

“What changed your mind?” You ask, your curiosity piqued. Jin shrugs.

“You did.” He answers simply.

“M-me?” You’re not sure why you stutter; perhaps it is the strange look to his eyes as he turns fully to face you. He pulls his knees up to his chest and rests his cheek against them, watching you lazily.

“Yup.” He says, as if it’s the easiest confession in the world. “When I used to think about this place, all I could think about was the night we fled. My dad didn’t even time to wash the blood off his hands. He grabbed me by the wrist and held on so tight I had bruises. I didn’t want to remember that. I didn’t want to remember the place that had caused us so much pain. And you... you were such a shell. I felt like one of my best friends had died in this realm and I was so angry at what it had taken from me.” His gaze is distant with recollection. “And then I was mad at you, because you couldn’t forget no matter what I did.” He gazes at you. “But now it’s finally given me something.”

You’re startled, by his heartfelt words. You’ve always known Jin hated this realm, hated the way the beings of this realm had driven you all out. But you didn’t know you had such a huge role in his opinion of it. “You.” He finishes. “So I guess I can’t really hate this place after all.”

You’re struck speechless in that moment, and your heart swells with an overwhelming feeling. You already know you love the man before you, but in that moment, you’re shocked at just how much. A feeling bubbles up at the base of your chest- your heart feels fit to burst.

“What do you mean?” You ask- is this feeling hope? What does Jin mean, when he says the realm gave him you?

Jin merely shrugs.

“I’ll let you speculate.” He tells you, shooting you a coy smile, an oddly cheeky look that he’s given to his friends before but never to you. But then his expression shifts into something more serious. “I think there are more pressing things to discuss first, though. Like why you’re sitting here with me instead of sleeping?”

The warm feeling from earlier instantly evaporates as you recall the reason for your melancholy.

“I guess I’m just nervous.” You confess. “About going home. I’ve... I’ve really enjoyed this trip. And I’m excited to go home. But I’m just so...” you struggle to find the word. “So...”

“Nervous?” Jin suggests. He shuffles so he’s just a bit closer. His shoulder brushes yours- if you extended your neck, you could rest your head against his broad shoulders. A strange electricity buzzes through your body at the thought- it reminds you of your fight over the fungus a few days ago. The air had felt strangely charged then as well.

“Yeah.” You admit, swallowing past a dry throat. “There’s a lot to do, back home.”

“Back home?” Jin echoes, and then his smile turns warm. His mouth carefully forms the word “home” and his eyes wrinkle into two joyous crescent moon shapes. “I guess there is.” He acknowledges. “But you’ve already made the first step. You’re calling the human realm home.”

That startles you. Obviously, it is your home. But you hadn’t realised how instinctive that had become until this moment; at some point the human realm had stopped being that uncomfortable alien place, and had become the place you’re meant to go back to. Home. Jin watches you process the words carefully before he speaks again.

“You don’t have to be nervous.” He tells you softly. The tone to his voice is oddly vulnerable and delicate. Something delicate hovers between you like the flutter of a pixie’s wing. “You said you wanted to work things out together, right? So, you don’t have to be nervous because I’ll be there with you.”

He looks away and his expression is surprisingly shy. “I know you said I don’t have to be the guy with it all worked out, but I still want to try. It makes me happy. Being there for you. So even if you’re nervous... we’ll work it out together, right?”

It is that exact moment that you figure it out. Earlier, you had been uneasy at Jungkook’s line of questioning. You didn’t feel worthy of Jin’s love and affection, and that made you afraid. Because you couldn’t bear to lose him. You still can’t bear to lose him. But gazing into the warm eyes before you, you know you won’t ever lose him. The two of you have braved death together- you’ll make it through anything.

You feel lighter then, and you offer Jin a smile.

“Thank you.” You whisper. Jin smiles back.

“Any time.” He whispers back to you in answer.

Sleep comes easily after that, and so too does the end of your journey. All too soon you stand before the portal back home.

The trip feels like it’s taken a thousand years and no time at all at the same time. By your calculation, the entire journey has taken almost a month, with all the detours and misadventures. That means almost six hours have passed in the human realm. Jin has almost definitely missed his dinner plans, and your mother is probably starting to wonder why you aren’t home yet.

“What will you do, when you go back?” Jin asks. Jungkook has already stepped through and you’re surprised that Jin is making conversation now, of all times.

“Apologise to my mother.” You say easily. “What about you?”

“I’m going to save my snapchat streaks and apologise to Joon.” Jin shares. He’s nervously twisting his fingers together. The energy he gives off is like an uneasy teenager about to do a huge public speech. It’s a big contrast from the person her was last night. Like he’s bracing himself for something.

You thought you’d be bracing yourself too. On the other side is hard work and futile dreams and a bleary, dull city.

But on the other side is your mother, your friends, your family. Your evil cat waits for you on the other side; the life your father dreamed of for you is on the other side. You had thought that so much in your life is wrong, and now that the portal is here, you realise that it’s not. It’s just life. Things go wrong and things go right. Like the path of a river, cutting through the vast, unknown wilderness. You had been thinking of it this whole time like you’d flip a switch and things would be easy. But that’s not what it’s going to be like on the other side of this portal, and it’s not really what you want things to be like. It’s an adventure of a different kind.

And it’s an adventure that you want to share... with Jin.

You remember what Jungkook had said- the best things in life are the scariest to start. And you’re scared now. No, you’re terrified. But if you’re this scared, then you know that this moment is going to be huge. Life-changing. You can’t keep the words in a moment longer. You don’t want to. You’ve spent too long running and fearing and hesitating and overthinking. But you’re confident, that the two of you will survive this even if he doesn’t feel the same way, and you’re ready to take that risk.

The river loves those who take the plunge.

“Jin,” you call, and you thought that if you ever did this that you’d be lost for words. But you’re not. Because you’re finally ready. Last night had solidified that for you. The words come easily. “You remember how you said that I look at you a certain way?”

You turn and face him, and he looks bewildered.

“Like you’re my hero.” You recall. And then you steel yourself and meet his gaze. It’s the same eyes you’ve known all your life. The same eyes you want to look into for the remainder of your life. “It’s because you are my hero. No, actually, it’s more than that.” You assert, and he just stares, completely dumbstruck. “I look at you like that because I love you. Because I admire you and think you’re strong and brave and kind, and even if you’re not the guy who has it all together, I still feel the same way. And I lied when I said I just wanted you to be my friend. I thought it was enough, but it’s not- I want to be your partner. I want to be your best friend. I want to be your girlfriend.” You say. And then you summon all the exciting fluttering feels in your chest and let it pour into your smile. “I love you, Kim Seokjin.”

Before you stands something you never thought you’d see. Kim Seokjin, the mastermind behind the Jant, is completely speechless. And then slowly, very slowly, he opens his mouth to give a response.

“Are you dead?” Jungkook demands as the upper half of his body appears once more through the portal. “It’s been like 30 seconds in that realm which is approximately ten years in this realm if my maths is correct!”

You spring back from Jin. You’re startled at how far you have to step back- had you really been standing that close?

“R-right.” You stutter. You feel like you’ve been caught cheating on a diet or something equally scandalous. “We’re coming.”

Jin just looks annoyed.

“No we’re not. Give us a minute.” He snaps at Jungkook, placing a palm against Jungkook’s head and shoving him back through the portal none-too-gently. He then turns urgently back to you. “What did you just say?” He demands. His intensity has you cowering slightly- your bravado from earlier leaves you.

“I said “we’re coming”?” You recall, attempting to divert the topic, but Jin steps closer.

“No you didn’t. You said you love me. And that you want to be my girlfriend.” He accuses.

“If you knew, why did you ask me?” You grumble. And then your expression softens. “But yes. I did say that. And it’s ok if you don’t feel the same. I know you could have any girl you want and I won’t be mad if you want someone else.” You reassure him quickly. He just stares, offering you no indication of whether he’d processed your words. It’s uncomfortable, but you suppose your words were going to be uncomfortable. You’re changing the very nature of your relationship by voicing them aloud. “But if you were willing... maybe you could give me a chance?” You trail away.

Still, Jin just continues to look at you blankly. He looks like he’s a robot that just encountered a programming error. Hesitantly, you reach out to tap his shoulder, just to make sure he hasn’t died or suddenly been transformed into stone.

A hand shoots up. It grabs your wrist, halting its movements. Jin’s eyes bug out of his head.

“YOU’RE TELLING ME NOW?” He all but screeches. You flinch- you hadn’t anticipated a jant in response to your confession. “YOU HAD THE WHOLE TRIP TO SAY YOUR FEELINGS AND YOU SAY IT NOW? YOU COULDN’T HAVE WAITED ONE DAY?”

His nostrils flare as he releases your wrist so that he can point accusingly at you.

“You had all your chances! You could have said it on the way to the forest spirit! Or when the Saishtas were chasing us! Or when we landed in the ravine! You’ve had literally the whole trip and you wait until right before I’m going to confess?” He spits out in that rapid-fire way that you’ve never seen another person be able to replicate.

And then you process his words.

“Wait-“ you say, hoping to abort the jant so that you have enough time to comprehend what he’s saying.

It’s no use.

“Seriously! I had a whole plan, (Y/N)! We were going to go to dinner and I was going to buy you flowers and I was going to ease you into it! But no! You just had to beat me to it, and for what? For what? So that you can make a half-assed confession right before we step into an alley next to a brothel?” He laments.

“It’s not half-assed-“ you protest, because you’d poured your heart out to Jin.

He steps in menacingly.

“Take it back.” He demands. Your eyes widen.

“What?” You cry, defensively. To your credit, you only cower a little which is an impressive feat for someone on the receiving end of a jant.

“Your confession! Take it back!” He orders.

“No!” You argue back. “I’m not going to do that.”

“You are!” Jin counters. “You’re going to take it back and we’re going to do it properly, over dinner, and you’re going to have washed hair and I’m going to-“

You don’t let him finish whatever stupid thoughts were filtering through his brain. If he wants a proper, romantic confession, then he’s going to get one! You hear a sharp intake of breath from him as your lips press to his. They’re slightly chapped after such a long period of rough travel, but the sensation is still pleasant. Your heart thuds in your chest and you feel like you’re about to burst.

It takes Jin a moment to respond. But when he does, it’s with an intensity that is almost frightening. You’re startled by the way he pulls you close. It’s like the electricity from last night, but multiplied a hundred-fold. If you thought your heart was ready to burst before, it is nothing compared to the way molten lava fills your chest when his hands come up to gently cradle your face and deepen the kiss.

When you finally recall that oxygen is something you need, Jin pulls away and searches your gaze. His hands slide down to your waist, resting delicately along the flare of your hips. His face is bright red but his eyes are determined.

Something about the way he is looking at you has you feeling shy.

“That was weird, huh?” You stammer, trying to cover the way you feel so completely overwhelmed. “Sorry.” Your heart is dancing in your chest. It’s all too much for one person to feel and you’re just not really sure what to do with the sensation. Did he feel it too? This weird tension, like you’re a balloon about to pop?

Jin doesn’t break eye contact and his tongue darts out to moisten his lips.

“Hard to say.” He finally says, breaking his long spell of silence. He then grabs at either side of your face, puckering his lips obnoxiously. “I think we need to try again to be sure.”

You barely have time to protest before he’s attempting to pull you in for a second kiss, although you slap a hand over his mouth to halt his advance.

“Wait!” You accuse. “You can’t just kiss me and not respond to what I said!”

“I already told you.” He snaps. “Your confession doesn’t count until we do it properly. Now if you excuse me-“ He grabs you by the elbows and tugs you back towards him, attempting to kiss you once more, but you stop him with a hand pressed to his chest. His expression turns pleading. “Just one more time.” He requests.

You swallow, and gaze into his eyes. It’s not an unfamiliar look, you realise. He’s looked at you like this before, but you now realise what the emotion was behind that look.

“I love you.” You tell him. “I told you like this because yes. I couldn’t wait one more day. I don’t want to wait another day without you knowing. I love you.” You say one more time, just for good measure.

His expression crumbles and he sighs in resignation, before pulling you tightly against him. His embrace is warm, and secure. It’s no different from all the other times he’s hugged you in your life, and yet nothing is the same.

“Fine.” He says, into the crook of your neck. “But I’m not saying it back until we have a proper date.”

He pulls out of the hug and the love in his gaze is overwhelming. It’s not a confession, per se, but his intent is as clear as day.

He loves you. You know he does.

“Deal.” You say back, and his response is his eyes crinkling up as he offers you that special smile, the one that he only shows when he’s really, truly happy. “But you’re paying.”

“How about we save any important conversations for the side of the portal where we’re not in constant mortal danger?” Jungkook demands, his head once more poking through the portal. There’s an awkward silence as he glances between the two of you, and then he groans. “Seriously? You had the entire journey to sort this out and you waited until now? You couldn’t even just leave it until after dinner?”

“Sorry!” You apologise quickly, going to follow Jungkook’s lead through the portal. But a hand wrapped around your wrist stops you- you hadn’t even noticed Jin had grabbed you.

You turn to gaze questioningly at him, and he shrugs, shifting his hands until he can interlace his fingers with yours.

“Wait. Let’s go together.” He requests, then pauses. “Can we?”

Something about this moment feels monumental. Huge. You’ve braved enemy encampments, crossed mountains. You’ve gone free-falling into giant ravines and overcome furious forest spirits.

And yet this moment feels like the start to your biggest adventure yet. From this point on, real life starts. You smile at Jin and he returns it.

“Yeah.” You say. “Let’s go together.”

Jin’s reply is covered by Jungkook’s annoyed call through the portal:

“What did I just say? Hurry up!”

~Fin~

#castlebangtan #thebtswritersclub #kim seokjin x reader #jin x reader #seokjin x reader #writing

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amateur-author597 · 3 years ago

Text

SERIOUS RISE OF THE TITANS SPOILERS

BUT I NEED TO RANT

SPOILERS ARE UNDER THE CUT I PROMISE

I STARTED ROTT TEN MINUTES AFTER IT CAME OUT AT 5:01 PM AEST AND FINISHED ROTT AT ROUGHLY 10 TO 7

I FINISHED THE MOVIE AND SAW 8 SPOILER POSTS WITHIN 2 MINUTES ON TUMBLR

PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHERS AND PUT ALL SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT FOR YOUR POSTS AND TAG THEM PROPERLY

FIRST OFF

Everyone who said Blinky would die because of"and blinky" in the trailer

Fuck you

It was very fair but still I was so scared

Same to if those who said Archie died because he wasn't in the trailer

Again fair but I was terrified and anxious as hell

My heart could not have handled if he died or Douxie's grief but I'm still upset about what actually happened

And I wish Zoe showed up so they could give her some characterization

We find out she's known Douxie and been friends with him for over 900 years but she doesn't help with the Arcane Order?

And none of the hedge witches show up to help fight them to defend their home?!?!?!

SECOND!!! THE TRAIN SCENE!!!

YES

LOVED IT

GREAT

Jim you stupid string bean, I love you though

Claire, good job, that was some hard magic

Toby, go duke!

Douxie my husband, YAAASS QUEEN, GET IT BABY

The Police Station

It was so funny

Everything about it I loved

Douxari confusing the officers and being neutrally chaotic

Claire trying to be tough and silent

Toby spilling ALL the tea and the officers not believing him

Archie just being Archie and enjoying the confusion of the humans

KREL SHOWING UP WITH RICKY AND LUCY

YES

OMFG

Keep casually listing just about every spy agency in order

and then just

"And your mum"

What a legend

Literal King 👑

Honestly

Walter and Barbara

Them being engaged and happy

Y E S

Jim being best man

Y E S

Walter DYING before they could get married

N O

H E L L N O

ELI GREW UP!!!!!

MPREG STEVE

Very unpopular opinion

I loved it, so fucking funny

I don't even like mpreg normally

But I loved it as a random side plot cause they probably couldn't find an import part for every character and still give them their deserved screen time

Also, funny!

Krel was way too smug explaining to Steve that he would be pregnant, not Aja

You know how we as a fandom have all decided Krel is Aro/Ace icon or at least Aro spec and/or grey ace (something like that) I have no problem with this and love it, it makes me feel very validated, but what Krel just doesn't want kids and decided it's easier to not have romantic relationships, that's also a legitimate thing a lot of woman do

Does that mean gay guys can have biological kids on Akiridion 5?

BACK TO STEVE

I wish there was a bit where Steve called Lawrence on the phone calling him "dad" or "coach dad" and being like "Hey, I know you're probably busy, you're at school but I'm seriously freaking out and I need your help or advice" and explaining the whole Akiridion pregnancy and Coach just reassuring him gently and telling him that he and Steve's mum would support him and he wasn't alone and they weren't mad at him.

Douxie figuring out the sigil

Good job baby! Smart boy! I am very proud

You very smart

The Order bringing the Titans with Nari mind controlled

😬

That's all

Numora dying

Why! It's was so unnecessary!

I don't necessarily love her by any means

But still!

Dndndbebhsvehehrdidjbdisbeurbvtisjbsgsneosbsyneyjsosnsjdbdynsvsidbfindbzhndhdushdhushdbudhnm

*key spams in frustration*

This began much irritation that just increased

THE BRIDGE

ARCHIE LEFT DOUXIE HIS LONG LIFE FRIEND AND PLATONIC SOULMATE (NOBODY CAN CONVINCE ME THAT NOT JOW FAMILIARS WORK IDC)

YES HE WAS STAYING WITH HIS DAD AND I RESPECT THAT

BUT GODDAMN IT CHARLIE

CHARLEMAGNE COULD HAVE JUST LIT THE TROLLS FOLLOWING THEM ON FIRE AND THEN FLOWN OUT

THE PORTAL WOULD HAVE CLOSED AT THE SAME TIME

OR THEY COULD HAVE FREED THE TROLLS

EITHER WAY

THEY COULD HAVE GOTTEN OUT

WTF HAPPENED THE WHOLE FOUND FAMILY THING THEH WERE PUSHING IN WIZARDS

WHY PUSH A GRIEVING DOUXIE TO ESSENTIALLY GET OVER IT AND ACCEPT ARCHIE AS HIS FAMILY CUZ HE WAS ALWAYS THERE JUST TO GET RID OF ARCHIE ANYWAY

DOUXIE WOULD HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM AGAIN

HE WOULD HAVE JUST SEEN "TELL DOUXIE I SAID GOODBYE" IN THE KRONOSPHERE AS HIS LAST MEMORY OF HIM

*INCREASING FRUSTRATION*

"No More Running"DOUXIE ALMOST DIED BRINGING NARI BACK

I KNEW HE WOULDNT DIE BUT I WAS STILL SCARED

I was sad

NARI AND SKRAEL'S BATTLE WAS PERFECT

CINEMATIC MASTERPIECE I WAS NOT PLEASED WITH NARI DYING

NOR DOUXIE BEING HELD BACK ONCE AGAIN FROM SAVING A LOVED ONE

"Nor more running"

Simple line

Sweet

Shattered me and my very being THE SWITCHING SPELL

AMAZING.YES.ILOVEDIT.

DOUXIE YOU SMART BRILLIANT BOY I AM SO FUCKING PROUD

Douxari was so chaotic and funny and pure in a very weird way

I was sad that THAT screenshot of Douxie and Archie wasn't actually Archie because he looked so happy chddling his familiar but it was still cute

Narxie was so fucking sarcastic when the Arcane Order realized the spell didn't work and I live for it

Walter and Barbara

Them being engaged and happy

Y E S

Jim being best man

Y E S

Walter DYING before they could get married

N O

H E L L N O

ELI GREW UP!!!!!

MPREG STEVE

I loved it, so fucking funny

Krel was way too smug explaining to Steve that he would be pregnant, not Aja

Does that mean gay guys can have biological kids on Akiridion 5?

BACK TO STEVE

Douxie figuring out the sigil

Good job baby! Smart boy! I am very proud

You very smart

The Order bringing the Titans with Nari mind controlled

😬

That's all

Numora dying

Why! It's was so unnecessary!

Dndndbebhsve hehr didjbdisbeurbvtisjbsgsneosbsyneyjsosnsjdbdynsvsidbfindbzhndhdushdhushdbud

*key spams in frustration*

THE BRIDGE

ARCHIE LEFT DOUXIE HIS LONG LIFE FRIEND AND PLATONIC SOULMATE (NOBODY CAN CONVINCE ME THAT NOT JOW FAMILIARS WORK IDC)

YES HE WAS STAYING WITH HIS DAD AND I RESPECT THAT

BUT GODDAMN IT CHARLIE

CHARLEMAGNE COULD HAVE JUST LIT THE TROLLS FOLLOWING THEM ON FIRE AND THEN FLOWN OUT

THE PORTAL WOULD HAVE CLOSED AT THE SAME TIME

OR THEY COULD HAVE FREED THE TROLLS

EITHER WAY

THEY COULD HAVE GOTTEN OUT

Titan Nari

I was so scared when Douxie nearly passes out from lack of oxygen trying to save her

Claire did a great job and I like her but I feel like they're overpowering her without developing her

Nari and Skrael's battle was a cinematic masterpiece

Coach Lawrence seriously needs a break

NARI DYING WAS UNACCEPTABLE

DOUXIE BEING HELD BACK FROM HELPING HER WAS UNACCEPTABLE

"No more running" destroyed me

I AM STILL NOT OK

I DON'T THINK I EVER WILL BE

The 9th configuration

FOUND. FAMILY. CENTRAL.

I'M THE CHOSEN ONE BUT I CAN'T DO IT ALONE

YES

The Final Battle

I don't even know what to say

Aja. QUEEN.

RIP Varvatos

Rip Douxie that fall would have really fucking hurt

He definitely had broken ribs from that

I'm surprised he could walk after even while being supported against someone else to stand

Jim should have just stabbed Bellroc instead of talking

Jim should not have been able to walk and run perfectly fine after being stabbed even with all the adrenaline

Toby WTF MAN

GOOD JOB BUT FUCKING HELL

I LEGIT CAN'T EVEN FIGURE OUT HOW IT HAPPENED

THE MOVIE CAME OUT 4 DAYS AGO (IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO WRITE THE RANT DONT JUDGE) AND I'VE WATCHED IT 5 TIMES AND I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW I MISSED IT EACH TIME

HOW DID TOBY CRASH?!?!

ANYWAY

TOBY DYING WAS NOT ACCEPTABLE

JIM SCREAMING OUT HIS NAME AS SOON AS HE REALIZED TOBY WASNT THERE

BLINKY AND ARGH LOOK OF PANIC AND WORRY CUZ THEY REALIZED TOBY DIDNT COME BACK WITH JIM

DOUXIE REALIZING HE FAILED TO PROTECT SOMEONE ELSE IMPORTANT TO HIM (EVEN IF HE DOESNT HAVE MUCH OF AN ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP WITH TOBY, I REFUSE TO BELIEVE HE DIDN'T ADOPT THEM ALL AS HIS YOUNGER SIBLINGS)

"Always was, always will be" hurt my entire soul

The Time stone

This frustrated me so much it took me 3 days to write just this bit

Go back in time and save everyone?

Yes! Awesome!

Go back to the start the start

Also, I love and adore Toby

BUT IT MAKES NO SENSE

JIM GIVING THE AMULET AND RESPONSIBILITIES AWAY WHEN HE HAS 2 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE AND KNOWS ALL OF HIS MISTAKES AND HOW TO FIX THEM

WTF

AS I SAID I LOVE TOBY AND I LIKE HIM ACHIEVING STUFF

BUT HES NOT TREATED AS BADLY AS THE FANDOM ACTS LIKE HE IS

AND LOGICALLY JIM MADE A STUPID DECISION CONSIDERING WHAT HE KNOWS

I get that he was tired of being the trollhunter

Largely because he was tired of not thinking he would do a good enough job

But odds are Toby will make some of the same mistakes and they'll be right back in that same position except maybe Claire will die that time around

And if you're sick of the trauma and responsibility of it than why would you dump it on your best friend

Once again I say, it was an illogical and dumb decision

I WILL BE RUNNING TO FANFICTIONS TO ESCAPE THIS CANON

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jolinarjackson · 3 years ago

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Hey! Do you have any irondad fic recs? I just started reading Peter and Tony fics again and I would love any recs you have!

Hello!

Yes, I do! :D It's by no means complete because I am still busy compiling, but I have quite a few already.

For all the below stories, please heed the tags and warnings on AO3. And of course, feel also free to check out my stories. :)

My AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JolinarJackson/works

The below fics are not compiled in any particular order.

If I Die Young by MusicalLuna

Summary: Tony and Steve are trying to keep their little boy (who's not so little anymore) out of the superhero business for as long as possible, but when a kid's as stubborn as Peter is, they can't always stop him.

And sometimes things go wrong. Really, really wrong.

Categories: Superfamily, Not MCU!Peter Parker

Comment: This is a wonderful whump story that I go back to again and again.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/423790

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Lightning in a Bottle by Gruoch

Summary: Peter takes the tablet and looks down at the screen, where a picture of Spider-Man intimately entangled in a passionate embrace with Johnny Storm is displayed across the majority of the Daily Bugle’s home page. TORCH CAUGHT IN SPIDER-MAN’S WEB, the headline reads, bracketed by spider and flame emojis. Peter looks back up at Tony, who is still staring at him completely stone-faced.

Tony reaches across the island and taps the screen. “So. What do you have to say about that?”

“Well. For one, I’m a little disappointed with the headline,” Peter offers.

Tony lets his chin drop against his chest, momentarily defeated, before taking a deep breath and once more skewering Peter with a hard look. “You could have at least given me some warning that the two of you are...I mean, I had my suspicions, but—”

“You’re misconstruing the situation. Spider-Man and the Torch are dating,” Peter explains. “Johnny and I are just friends.”

“Boy, you’re really leaning hard into this whole alter ego thing, aren’t you?” Tony deadpans. “How’s that working out for you?”

Categories: Irondad, SpideyTorch

Comment: I love stories taking advantage of the havoc that secret superhero identities can wreak on romantic relationships. The best about this particular story is the witty writing, which makes Peter being a chaotic mess in this even better.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23413219

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The doubts that complicate by @frostysunflowers

Summary: "But he’s smart!" May had blurted, looking up at the teacher with misplaced anger. "I don’t...how does this make sense?"

She was worried, unaware, unprepared, not like Peter who had known for a while that some things were trickier for him than other kids. All the rules hidden in cheerful little rhymes and singing songs about which letters get along and those who don’t play nice; all the robotic reciting of the alphabet nearly every day: none of it had ever truly helped Peter understand how it all worked.

A brand new door opened in his life that day. On the front of it, the word ‘DYSLEXIC’ was printed in bold, the certainty of what it meant holding the letters permanently in place.

Nobody ever said being smart was easy.

Categories: Irondad

Comment: This is a wonderful read. @frostysunflowers manages to describe dyslexia in a way that makes the struggle understandable. The relationship between Tony and Peter is heart-warming. This is a great read if you're in the mood for something that is not too long and still want a good dosage of H/C.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23989531

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Accepting the Tides by Emma_Anacortes

Summary: Tony had dragged Peter from the depths of despair after May's death. It was normal that he'd grown to care a little about him, right?

Yeah, okay. He freaking loved the kid.

So naturally he would feel a little weird when Richard Parker randomly shows up in Peter's life. Naturally he'd feel protective, nervous, and confused because where has Richard been all this time? And why does Tony feel sick every time he sees him around Peter?

All he knows is if Richard hurts his kid, Tony's gonna give him hell.

Categories: Irondad, Steve & Peter

Comment: This story is intense, no doubt about it. Please heed all the warnings and tags carefully. However, if you give it a try, it's so worth it. This story presents a different backstory to the relationship of Peter and his parents (especially his father) while exploring Peter and Tony forging a father/son-bond in the wake of May's death. I have to say that the the relationship between Peter and Steve in this story is just as prominent and amazingly written. I loved every second of it.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11885844/chapters/26843274

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with arms wide open by @parkrstark

Summary: Tony and Pepper are expecting a baby and Peter may be the one most excited...just maybe…

Categories: Irondad, Pepperony

Comment: This is undeniably cute and heart-warming: Tony and Pepper get pregnant and Peter is right there with them, freaking out. Peter spends this story preparing to become a big brother while still being unsure about whether this is the role he is going to fulfill in the baby's life. This stoy focsses on the found family that is Tony, Pepper and Peter, but there are wonderful interactions with May, Rhodey and Happy as well.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14540409

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the stars the moon they have all been blown out (you left me in the dark) by @madasthesea

Summary: It starts off with his vision fading in and out.

What kind of demon drug can make someone go blind by inhaling a single lungful? Whatever it is, Tony doubts it’s reversible. And while Peter’s no idiot, he can be idiotically optimistic. He's determined to fix what appears to be unfixable.

Categories: Irondad

Comment: This story is experienced entirely from Tony's point of view, which make the effects of the drug and his reaction to it all the more poignant. Tony's relationship to Peter is especially highlighted in this story. You can only imagine the worry and pain Peter geos through unil the very end of the story and the pay-off is worth it. I want to highlight the way that Tony's experiecne of the effects of the drug are described here, because I thought that was superb writing and put the reader righ in Tony's shoes.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15795141/chapters/36757500

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turn back the clock (and I'll try again in the morning) by @madasthesea

Summary: Peter gets stuck in a time loop. In it, he lives through some of his worst nightmares, only to wake up that morning and have no one remember. He needs Tony to help him get through.

And if that isn't bad enough, his identity is revealed over and over, every day.

Categories: Irondad

Comment: This story is just SO GOOD. Not only is Peter experiencing the same day over and over again and his identity is revealed, but the way it happens also gets more and more taxing and gruesome. This story has emotional highpoints that are written fantastically and the Irondad in this is just heart-warming.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18023177/chapters/42585071

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How The Mighty Fall by Meep_Morp

Summary: Since his duel against Toomes on Coney Island, Peter's life has settled down considerably. May knows about his double life and accepts it (mostly). Tony has welcomed him back, and given him more independence as New York's Spider-Man.

One night during patrol he crosses paths with Connor, a teenager who has Extremis in his blood and answers to the wrong kind of people. Though Tony is quick to distrust him, Peter finds himself reluctant to follow his mentor's lead, and a bond develops between the two boys. Their relationship is further complicated when Connor's former master, Negative, makes it a personal mission to destroy them both in his quest for power.

Taking down a superpowered psychopath? Tough, but Peter isn't going to back down.

Stopping Tony from blasting his first potential boyfriend into space? He might need a miracle for that.

Categories: Irondad

Comment: This story is so intricately plotted and just a joy to read. The characters are written to perfection and this includes an absolutely fantastic and fleshed-out OC who, as a reader, you come to care about easily and quickly. Much more subtle is the relationship between Peter and Tony in this fic but every single scene is on-point. I have read and re-read this story several times and it is hard to put aside once you start.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18084407/chapters/42745826

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Project Pride by TheSleepingOwl

Summary: In hindsight, it should have been obvious. The signs were all there, unwittingly scattered by Peter like breadcrumbs for Tony to follow—the way he would fall into uncomfortable silence when the topic of dating came up, or become flustered whenever Tony teased him about the mysterious Michelle-Call-Me-MJ character Peter was constantly gushing about, or deflect Tony’s mostly-joking inquiries into whether or not they needed to be having The Talk with a hurricane of splutters and blushes.

And even without the signs, Peter was still his kid. Tony was just supposed to know these things.

So when FRIDAY pulled up Peter’s search history—‘how can i make myself not like boys,’ ‘can you force yourself to be attracted to girls,’ ‘how to stop your friends from knowing youre gay,’ and, most devastating, ‘how can i keep my parents from finding out im gay’—Tony wasn’t surprised so much as deeply, unquantifiably ashamed. Because he should have known.

Categories: Irondad

Comment: This story is an incredibly written POV of Tony coming to terms with Peter's sexuality. It's achingly realistic in the way Tony struggles to connect to Peter, knowing that he's gay. Additionally, this story has a hefty doese of Hurt/Comfort thrown in that hurts when reading it. This is a gem.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22135138/chapters/52834021

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Birds Eating Other Birds by aloneintherain

Summary: Peter wishes he hadn’t gotten out of bed that morning. Then, maybe, he wouldn’t be reduced to this - limp-crawling through the rabbit burrows that is Oscorp Tower, a monster of a man on his heels, bloody and bruised and choking on a panic attack.

Categories: Irondad, not MCU!Peter Parker

Comment: I love aloneintherain's stories. I read them when I first got into Avengers fanfic and the way they write dynamics is great. This one is intense and the way it's written sucks you right into it. Norman Osborn is so evil and creepy in this one. Part one is mainly hurt, but stick around for the comfort in part 2!

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7626433

----- And here are some Avengers team dynamic fics as well -----

It Was Probably The Pudding by Serendipity_Cometh

Summary: Given that over the course of the past eleven months Peter Parker hasn't contracted so much as a head-cold, the teenager thought it safe to assume that the whole 'irradiated spider bite' gig had equipped him with an immune system of steel that rivalled Captain America's.

So when he wakes up one night in the midst of the worst asthma attack he's suffered in almost eight years, neither he nor the rest of the team can think of a logical explanation.

And everything sort of goes downhill from there.

Categories: Team, Stony, Clint/Phil, not MCU!Peter Parker

Comment: When I started out reading Avengers fanfictions, I stumbled across this one and go back to it on a regular basis. Lots of whump and great team dynamics.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/953538/chapters/1865305

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In the Home by aloneintherain

Summary: The Avengers have been infected, turned violent and aggressive against their will. And Peter, the only one unaffected, is trapped inside the Tower with six feral teammates.

“Natasha,” Peter says cautiously, “what happened here? Steve attacked me, and if there was ever a sign that something was wrong, it’s having the embodiment of Truth, Justice, and the American Way throw you across the room -”

Natasha comes closer, her stride controlled. Nothing necessarily out of the ordinary, but there’s something in her face, in her eyes -

Natasha lunges across the space, and slams into Peter, hard.

Categories: Team, not MCU!Peter Parker

Comment: One of my very early reads when I started out in the Avengers fandom. Excellent whump, hurt/comfort and team dynamics.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5388563/chapters/12446069

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Fitting In (Tiny Spaces) by aloneintherain

Summary: Peter's trapped beneath a collapsed building during a mission, hurt and unable to move. Luckily, his comm still works. Unluckily, the Avengers don’t realise how bad of a state Peter is in, and Peter isn’t inclined to tell them.

“Spidey, they’ve got reinforcements. We’ve hit a bit of a snag here, and I don’t think anyone will be able to help you for a while. Think you can sit tight while we deal with this?”

The pressure on his lower back and legs was becoming too much. Peter swallowed thickly, fighting down panic. He could handle this.

“Yeah,” Peter said. “I can do that.”

Categories: Team, not MCU!Peter Parker

Comment: There are so many "Peter trapped under a building"-stories out there but this is the one I read first and it stuck with me. Loved the team dynamic in this.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4232937

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