#it’s ok you can relax
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when i was in my room i felt pressured to be in the world and now i’m in the world and the pressure of enjoying my time while i’m still here is consuming i just want my room
#i gotta let myself relax no matter where i am#it’s ok you can relax#maybe you’ll do something but maybe not and that’s totally ok#is it?#sophia’s letter post 📮
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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if you're stretching for shadowclan cats to use:
antpelt is mistakenly listed as from shadowclan in battles of the clans, and the wiki had him as a different character for a while. he also has an unnamed apprentice
shredtail is also mistakenly listed in shadowclan during bramblestar's storm
I am absolutely at the point where I'm willing to make absolutely ABSURD stretches. I'm affectionately calling all the extra cats I'm scrounging up from writer mistakes and background scenes "ShadowClan's Glitch Warriors." Thank you so much for pointing these three out, they're going in the list.
Suddenly, I was struck with an absolutely hilarious idea. Partner wanted something fun to draw but still has read absolutely nothing about Warriors, so I pitched;
"I will tell you nothing about these characters or who they are except their names. Draw a Shredtail, an Antpelt, and Antpelt's apprentice. TOTAL freedom over the designs here."
First they drew this lmao,
"This is a joke," they clarified
"NO I LOVE IT," I said, "KEEP GOING"
So we got Dollar Tree Shredtail, Great Value Antpelt, and the best thing I've ever seen in my life. Once they put these designs down, we talked personality and differentiators from the canon counterparts while they colored and refined them;
I loved the bushy gaster tail so much that I swore on the spot I was going to work it upwards into a whole bloodline, including the very obscure background warrior in AVOS, Wasptail. So even though they're mentor and apprentice in BOTC, I've decided these two will also be related. Probably siblings, or auncle/nespring.
The little black one is based off an Admiral Butterfly (it was my idea to make the little spots on their chest look like medals), so the name seems clear to me. Admiralpaw. Xey'll be meewa unless another gender works better; and I'm planning for xem to go out during a bloody battle against The Kin in true admiral style.
(funfact; admiral butterflies are extremely territorial. Males fight each other for control of a plant to attract females to.)
Warrior name is still undecided, though. Open to suggestions, leaning towards Admiralflight or Admiralflower.
Not-Antpelt I'm having name troubles with. I REALLY wanted to name them Majorheart, after a major ant, to keep the "military ranking + bug" pun that Addy's got... but it seems that none of the ants in this area would have a major caste. B'awww.
In the meanwhile, Antspot works fine. Alatefang or Dronepelt could work, too. Feel free to shout out suggestions, this guy's name and gender aren't set in stone.
Lastly, here's Diet Shreddy. Girl now <3
She is 100% going to be killed during The Battle of the True Eclipse, keeping consistent with the mistake in Bramblestar's Storm where Blackstar mournfully calls out the name of a Dark Forest warrior. I'm also undecided on if the actual Shredtail himself dies during that battle in BB, it might just be her.
In any case, she's probably going to be a TPB girl. If she's born during Brokenstar's time, she's one of the younger ShadowClan cats to take part in the WindClan Massacre. Might even be an early apprentice at the time, in a similar situation to Badgerfang (though in BB this was a one-time thing). If not during Brokenstar, then sometime during Nightstar's brief reign.
Right now she has no family, she's in my "reserves" at the side to use as a patch between generations. Her name is probably going to be either Tattertail or Shredclaw, given as an Honor Title after the Battle of BloodClan.
So she had a previous warrior name as well. She seems like the kind of troublemaker who would have the prefix Sike-- a small stream that dries up in summer. Sikestripe, if her name was given by Nightstar, or Sikestrike, if it was given by Tigerstar. Maybe it was one and then the other, in a sign of disrespect to his predecessor's lie.
#Then I lulled partner to sleep by streaming me working on the ShadowClan Family Tree#Small update for all concerned; Thank you for all the well wishes. They're doing ok#As OK as you can be in this situation. It comes and goes in waves.#We've been doing lots of nice stuff while hanging out all day. Soup. Video games. Stories. Rest.#They asked me for some nature prompts because plants are relaxing to draw#So I'm going to try making some guides specifically to their requests#But anyway--#I'm compiling lots of “glitch warriors” so I can mark down EXACTLY where they come from and their descriptions.#So far I've counted like 3 silver tabbies#This is extremely funny because there are TWO adult cats who could be called 'silver tabbies' alive during that time in TPB#Neither of them are actually silver tabbies (Boulder is solid gray and Archeye is a gray tabby).#And one of the 3 unnamed silver tabbies is a queen.#Btw I want to open up a like... 'Let's pick some names and personalities!' thing somehow for a lot of these Glitch Warriors#Because it sounds like fun and I like the spirit of collaboration with these guys#Plus I know some people really love the biome-accurate prefixes I can provide so this is a nice opportunity#Better Bones AU#bone babble#bug#ant#cw bug#ant cat
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she looks so goddamn cozy. like you're taking her to the arby's drivethrough
#swtor#swtor 7.6#ok that's the last of the spam#you guys can relax now. like lana#get the fries she says. you'll need the strength
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"I want x spinoff, I want a book about y"
I want to meet the woman who had not one but TWO kids with Hermes. Two kids so close in age and are so alike people just assume that they're twins, two kids who are chaos personified, who singlehandedly run the camp shop, who are in charge of the biggest cabin at camp and look after their equally chaotic gremlin siblings plus every unclaimed kid at camp like Lou Ellen a daughter of Hecate and another being of chaos who learnt it all from them, and who take every opportunity to fuck shit up, to prank their camp mates or to steal shit. Their last name, which they get from their mama? Stoll by the way. Neither child notices the pun.
I want to meet Mama Stoll, who saw the chaos, who saw the bullshit Hermes brought into her life the first go around and said tonight's the night let's do it again. She is either the world's greatest cat burglar who enticed the god of Thieves or the messenger god was enchanted by the best god dam delivery woman on the planet. There's no in-between. It was just a bonus that her surname was the perfect pun. Her and Hermes laugh about it. In my head, it's all canon. Regardless, she unleashed two agents of unlimited chaos onto an unsuspecting world, and I love her for it. I take my hat off to her, I kneel before her.
Oh, and the oldest kid, Travis? He's dating a girl called Katie, who is the daughter of Demeter. Her last name? Gardner. Fucking Gardner. She has a sister called Miranda Gardiner, by the way. Mama Stoll finds it hilarious. Her sons still don't get the pun, but at least she gets on with her future daughter in law like a house on fire.
#pjo spoilers#pjo#hermes pjo#percy jackson and the olympians spoilers#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#travis stoll#connor stoll#the stoll brothers#katie gardner#miranda gardiner#tratie#travis x katie#katie is at college and dating travis in new rome you may argue to the wall#theyre canon to me#do not cite the deep magic to me witch i was there when it was written etc#riordanverse#but like they're perfect they're head counsellors together they have forced proximity slight enemies to lovers thing going on#he makes her laugh & have fun she relaxes him they bicker like an old married couple he lifts her up & spins her around just because he can#and because he likes holding her she pretends to hate it but she can't rub the smile off her face... they're canon to me ok#mama stoll#mrs stoll
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cant stop thinking about this silly dog i saw on twitter the other day, reminded me of him for some reason. The Animal 🐖
#i would link a source but it was a repost account so. idk whose ouppy this is im so sorry#also FIRST TABLET DRAWING RAAAAAAAUGH 💥💥💥 MY HAND HURTS SO FUCKING BAD FKJDHG#i gotta get used to holding a pen like that...#my arm keeps doing muscle memory Dont Touch The Screen thing but. it's ok relax man this isnt even a touchscreen#you can rest ur arm it's fine#it's so funny that desktop medibang was so hard to get used to bc i genuinely just didnt understand the software#was anyone gonna tell me you can move the red square to move your view... i've been using the scroll bars this whole time#WAS ANYONE GONNA TELL ME I FORGOT MY FUCKING PEN CORRECTION-#NO WONDER MY LINES FOR THIS SKETCH WERE SO SHAKY KGJFHG#also i forgot to fix the anti-aliasing so umm just pretend this is pixels like usual ok.. i couldnt tell#i dont have my glasses on and the screen is juuuuust a bit blurry anyways. didnt notice till i zoomed in to do his eye </3#yay doodle <3 i love coloring on this thing it's so fun#awa#umm im gonna leave this nonrebloggable for now bc i feel nervous for some reason#might change it later bc this was really fun
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stede is 'oh this place has something related to my interest i must go in immediately' autistic and izzy is 'if we deviate one inch from my plan for today i will murder someone' autistic
#stede wandering off into the forest to look at bugs was not on the schedule or any of izzys contingency schedules#new thing i think would fix izzy: a clear fucking plan#in the nebulous reunion timeline future i see izzy researching every port town they are gonna stop in HARD so he can figure out everywhere#stede + ed might possibly want to go and plan several routes for the day to keep himself calm in the inevitable chaos#(and yet somehow every time stede finds something he missed and they still go off script anyway)#(he tries to go separately around port from them one time and its a fucking disaster; someone gets stabbed; so he just resigns himself to#incredibly stressful port stops)#its not like stede + ed mean to do it!! theyre both awful for it individually and they just feed off each other#its ok because theyre very good at letting izzy have the deck Exactly how he wants it and scheduling as much big picture stuff as they can#with him#(when stede realises theyve been the cause of like. 65% of izzys stress they finally agree to let him redo the rigging as an apology and#they suddenly realise watching him buy the supplies that hes just as bad as them in his own way)#(he absolutely terrorizes the rope guy but they have never seen him so relaxed as when he was up there redoing all the lines)#nyxtalks#ofmd#izzy hands#israel hands#stede bonnet#you can pry autistic izzy away from my cold dead hands
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just all of this from moa regarding frank/hazel/leo. the most uncomfortable romantic tension ever because nobody understands it and nobody involved wants it to be there
especially "Hazel's eyes glittered like gold. 'Gold is easy,' she said. It didn't seem that way to Leo--not when he looked at her." like we can interpret this in a few ways. what an interesting thing to think about a girl you just met
and the whole "if this is a private special thing that she's only done with her boyfriend then I either really don't want to try it or I really really do want to try it" like STOP cut the cameras
#also he's only riding with one arm around her??? on ARION?? bro relax 😭#a frank pov would have been so entertaining here like god I would have loved to see exactly what their loud argument looked like#leo is explicitly attracted to hazel but his romantic feelings are explicitly ambiguous. like he really doesn't know what's going on#he clearly feels Something. but what is it. mostly infatuation imo. he's a teenage boy with feelings that he doesn't want#towards a girl who doesn't want him like that. idk it's just kind of sad and relatable if you've ever been in a similar position#(this is where I remind everyone that hazel is 14 in hoo not 13. closer to being 15 than 14 really. frank and leo are not weirdos)#I love the detail about big bro percy being protective towards hazel even tho it sucks for leo 😔 poor guy#anyways this would have been more interesting if frazel were more slow-paced and didn't get together until hoh or something#like hazel is 100% off the table in this situation so the tension (and the resolution to it) feels kind of meaningless and inconsequential#frank is hazel's anchor to the present and leo represents her lingering inner conflict regarding sammy and her past#choosing between the two (present/past) would have been more thematically significant#but that doesn't really happen because she's already fully committed to frank so the choice is already made#one of the big questions you can ask about moa is “ok so what was the point of the whole sammy thing” and doing ^ something like this#would have helped imo. but everyone that isn't me hates love triangles so yk. probably I'm the only one who would have enjoyed that#or like all three of them should have kissed each other. in my head they did actually#the audience is gonna boo me for this but while I understand why leo and hazel were both weirded out by the sammy revelation#from a reader's pov I'm just like Ok but come on is it really that much weirder than being a demigod and dating your cousins#hazel levesque#frank zhang#leo valdez#pjo hoo toa#percy jackson#piper mclean#frazel#heroes of olympus#riordanverse#pjo#frazeleo#percy jackson and the olympians
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what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]
a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious
i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me
as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy
#snap chats#may you forgive me anon i always feel awkward explaining things AVELKJEAKLJ#i feel esp awkward cause i haven't read toooo much of the comics yet- like ive read. an ok amount so far krakoa wise#can you guys tell im fighting god himself to Not write a fuckin. NOVEL#im so sorry i have an over-explaining problem my mom was mean to me growing up but anyways#i definitely want to read more and more outside krakoa. the more i read the more im fascinated by these two and their history#but to continue my prattling. as if the three paragraphs above arent enough This Is Not A Thesis RELAX#i think a. 'poignant' moment i think adds to what i like about charles too is that soliloquy where he recognizes people dont like him#yet he could always be worse- like if he's bad now to others imagine if he really just said Fuck It All#it's simple but so am i whaddyagonnadoboutit. i mean that point itself could be discussed but i'm trying to keep this brief bear with me#i so bad want to know what issue that's from tho all i know is that it's from krakoa but i neeeed the whole context#i think like. an additional bullet point to charles i also like is his loneliness#and i say this cause- I Say From My Amateur-Psychology Armchair- it's a component of why he's so earnest to help#but im keeping this point in the tags until i can confidently verify that with myself after some more reading#Unfortunately a favorite pass time of mine is psychoanalyzing characters like why else you think i major in psychology smh#im going to force myself to cap the post here because i ended up typing like 20 more tags just rambling#and as i said id like to keep this simple and clean !!!!! i have sat here for like four hours answering this ngl#ignore the fact half that time was spent getting distracted by solitaire and riffling cards ok I Am Very Easily Distracted#but fr when it comes to charles and erik- charles esp imo#i feel like i need to write a whole paper just so i can mention the nuances of the characters and like. EVERYTHING#because again six decades is A Lot of time for writing decisions to be made and for their characters to change over time#im a glazer but i wanna be a nuanced glazer yk. is that glazing at that point-- w/e anyway#its a lot. so today you will have to tolerate a very Blah answer from me which i must apologize for#down the line once ive read a comfortable amount more varying from multiple eras maybe ill revisit this question more in depth#as of right now tho .... chat i wanna get legion of x so bad i skimmed it and hhhhhhhhim gonna throw UP#i need to shake charles like a ragdoll BUT ANYWAY. bye bye for now lovelies !!!!!!!#please forgive me if i didnt answer your question efficiently ..#here i am saying i wanted to keep the tag count brief and yet !!! jesus christ. shut up My God I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT
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"This is a message to you, who listens. You must trust me, because we are friends. You just don't know it yet. "
(The Road to PARTIZAN 05 : Ech0 & dusk to midnight)
currently halfway through PARTIZAN (making my way towards palisade extremely slowly. see u guys there in a month or two) & this is to date my favourite intro Austin has done. what an great introduction to an extremely cool character
#Partizan#road to partizan#friends at the table#fatt#gur sevraq#ive been wanting to draw something for that intro ever since i first heard it but i didnt. even know who gur sevraq was at that point.#but its been On My Mind#rosa art#im fairly happy with this i had a lot of fun coming up w the composition. it felt like a puzzle bc i knew what i wanted...#the lineless artstyle is something ive been trying out more and it doesnt come easy but it is fun. (so many layers.....)#you can zoom in for details because. ofthe person i am i always have to add little lines everywhere#well i usually write kind of a lot in the tags but ive been drawing for 5 hours nonstop. my brains kind of wiped.#i havent taken my walk yet so. i will now do that#...usually id listen to more partizan but millenium break is. literally not relaxing and i need to chill a bit#might put on the new bluff.#oh one more thing every time i relisten to that intro i do a little ME? gesture i hear that first line. its fun to me#edit: ok i moved the text slightly it was bothering me !#probably noone else will notice.
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what makes minedai even sadder is that we never rlly see daigo try to build a bond with anyone else like he did with mine it rlly shows how badly it effected him like yeah he reached out to shinada in y5 but that’s rlly it and he probably would wanna leave him alone after that and not involve him in any yakuza stuff so i don’t think they would’ve hung out or anything like that afterwards. All he rlly had were saejima and majima but they were more like babysitters than anything, wish we saw more of their dynamic tho like we did with majima and daigo in dead souls since that was fun and we were lowkey robbed but in canon he’s just as lonely as he was before majimas promise to kiryu. And mine is the only person he really had a meaningful relationship with romantic or not they were still really close and we don’t see that again with daigo ever (from what i recall after y3) ok sorry for rambling LMFAO
even with shinada, he reached out to him more so out of 'duty' and trying to make up for the misfortune that befell him because of yakuza than wanting to rekindle any kind of friendship they might have had in high school (though it sounds more like they were just acquaintances if shinada needing a second to remember who daigo was is anything), so yah i doubt they really had any kind of bond afterwards
dead souls really was the only time after Y3 where we got to see daigo be more sociable with someone, but its as you say majima and saejima are more like retainers than close friends
#snap chats#you can tell i was into fire emblem when the first term that comes to my mind to call majima and saejima was 'retainers' omfg#but yeah ..... depressing ....#does make me wonder who daigo was on the phone with during the rggo story though. like clearly daigo has friends#apparently. we just never see or hear of them. tho ig it is implied those were his friends from the y2 era. as mine said flarkjla#REGARDLESS yeah after y3 daigo just feels depressing to watch#i think its just because he really has to do everything on his own now#but not even have a friend to just chill with at the end of the day- like the technical work is whatever. for the most part#THATS stressful obvi so to not have anyone to really be personable with thats probably the dire part. imo.#cause yk the world could suck but as long as you have that One Person to just relax with then its ok but with mine gone. 🧍♂️#probably doesnt help that like. during the 'flashback' segment of y3 where we get to see daigo sitting with kiryu and nakahara#we see him all cheery and bein a lil jokester and just. A Happy Dude#granted this is barely a year or two into being chairman so The Horrors Havent Set In relatively but still ... i miss his smile ..#every time i think of daigo post-mine i think of those like. tragedies or accounts of people where its like#'after X's friend/lover died they never found another again' like thats the vibe i always get#he really packed it up and never got close with anyone else again and it makes me want to throw up#y4 widow arc still good tho it makes me chortle
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im ok just been busy
#rainbow speaks#you can tell im not working on a 4 page paper i have due tomorrow#but im alive and ok and it looks like the dash is more relaxed now#so i may be making a more substantial return
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Uni stuff though, have roland and wife
#library of ruina#project moon#lor#roland#roland lor#angelica#angelica lor#i love them#i wish they had a somewhat happy ending#like angelicas ghost now existing in the library cuz the puppet got killed in it#it would be bittersweet#but also rolands grief is the centerpoint of his character development so#it would fuck shit up really bad in terms of his character#AND I AM AWARE OF IT AS YOU CAN SEE#still#one can dream#ok im going#you go drink some tea and relax you deserve it#see ya babes :>
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bloody red flamin' up — for @rumue ❣️
#i'm a bit early but! happy happy birthday rumu!!!!#seventeen#seventeen fanart#woozi#lee jihoon#dailywoozi#kpopccc#svtcreations#svtdaily#annietrack#dokyelvblr#dreamytag#heyginkgo#siyuantag#artizou#hellooo svtuals i hope it's ok to tag you <3#first but certainly not last svt art i think#anyways! sweetest most amazing rumu - thanks to the miracle of timezones i can wish you an early happy birthday <33#i hope you'll have a lovely and (most importantly) relaxing time today 💗#may the new year bring you joy! channeling some renewed energy to you with this piece 🤍#thank you for metaphorically holding my hand in these trying times (aka jimin's solo debut) + for entertaining my whole. you know. madness.#i had sooo much fun drawing this btw 🥰 sending you these good vibes & 1000 kisses!#(and thank u for the distraction.. happy set me free pt. 2 day.. send prayers)
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I went to a thrift store after work in my NPS uniform and a little old lady asked me if I worked there. At the thrift store. The National Parks Service manages your local Savers
#I've got a seasonal job at a small national historical park#it's a good way to get started working with the park service#the government bought my uniform including the fancy smartwool socks#the work pants and socks and whatever isn't logoed I can wear whenever so that's a sweet deal#anyway#personal (ok to rb)#i don't have the fancy interpretative ranger outfit with the hat and button up#facilities dress code here is a bit more relaxed so it's just a NPS t shirt. still#not a savers employee outfit. lol#nps#i was looking at the yarn btw. i got some. good deal Except it feels horrible#old cheap yarn was really bad quality compared to modern cheap yarn it turns out#I'm not using it for clothes and I think it's fine for what I'm doing but. be aware. touch the thrift store yarn before you buy it
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MY BIO STAYS TRUE
RYAN LINDGREN WILL NEVER DISAPPOINT ME!!!!
#but only ONE YEAR??? YOU COULDN’T HAVE GIVEN HIM 2???#BUT $4.5M THO😻😻😻#ok i can relax for the rest of the summer LOL#ryan lindgren#rangers lb
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